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573,533
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1
Like Having Glass Ground Into Your Eyeballs
Heed the warning of this movie's title and don't look at it now . . . or ever . This atrocious psychological thriller is neither psychologically complex nor especially thrilling . Julie Christie and Donald Sutherland play parents mourning the accidental death of their daughter , wandering around Venice while Sutherland...
573,440
4,532,636
785,007
1
Eva Longoria Deserves the Flames of Hell
Much of " Over Her Dead Body " is so painfully unfunny that I was actually squirming in my seat out of embarrassment for the actors . Eva Longoria proves that she can't carry a film in this terrible romantic comedy , and further , that she doesn't really even have any comedic timing . She's grating and annoying as a gh...
573,531
4,532,636
80,761
1
When Slasher Films Were Innocent
How did this movie ever get the reputation as a horror classic ? I've been re-watching the " Friday the 13th " series recently and have been struck by how awfully incompetent they are as films . This first installment I guess has the advantage of being novel , though not really , since it doesn't use any formula conven...
573,946
4,532,636
74,749
1
A Terrible Cassavetes Film
I found this film to be nearly intolerable . John Cassavetes in many ways was a love him or leave him director . His films were never easy - - he definitely required his audience to work , not sit passively and let his films quietly come at them . I don't mind this approach to film-making , but I do require that the re...
573,317
4,532,636
414,993
1
This Tree of Life Would Be Put to Better Use as Firewood
The only compliment I can pay " The Fountain " is that it's not ordinary . However , a little ordinariness might have helped this nearly unwatchable mess of a movie . Darren Aronofsky has made a cerebral , abstract film completely lacking any ounce of emotional significance . It comes across as one of those films that ...
573,547
4,532,636
73,540
1
Pretentious and Dull - - The Worst Combination
Ugh . . . an endless and interminable movie about a batch of oppressed school girls who go missing during a picnic at the eponymous rock formation . There seem to be plenty of viewers armed with psycho-babble to defend this film's deeper meaning , its undertones of sexuality , power , repression , etc . , etc . , blah ...
574,193
4,532,636
430,304
1
What's the Point ?
What's the point of reviewing a movie like this ? It's painfully and embarrassingly bad , not even in a way that allows you to make fun of it . Movies like " Little Man " depress me . They represent film at its most disposable . This movie was made for a bunch of 18-24 year old dipsht frat boys who the studio was hopin...
573,360
4,532,636
170,016
1
Atrocious
Ron Howard , who never met a story he couldn't screw up , takes the delightful holiday cartoon classic and turns it into something gormless , vulgar and awful . The cartoon used imaginative language and iconic animation to create its magical effect . Howard replaces all of that with gaudy art direction and stupid physi...
574,246
4,532,636
51,658
1
Wretched Piece of Instantly Disposable Crap
I hate this movie . I hate the way it looks . I hate the way the actors ( especially Leslie Caron ) sound . I hate the way it's dubbed . I hate how irrelevant it is . Is it just me , or is there something incredibly distasteful ( not to mention creepy ) to see an 80-something Maurice Chevalier singing " Thank Heaven fo...
573,627
4,532,636
92,646
1
Beyond Watchable
I've been having my own little Altman revival over the past months , watching all of his available movies in chronological order , both his masterpieces and his duds . I'm up to 1987 , and I think I may have finally found it - - that elusive thing known as Robert Altman's absolutely worst film . If you know about Altma...
573,785
4,532,636
83,972
1
Adding 3-D Doesn't Help
If possible , the third installment in the hit hack-up derby is even worse than the first film , which is really saying something . The entire " Friday the 13th " series is like a ten-car pile-up for me : I know I should avert my eyes , but something compels me to stare . These movies are an insult to my intelligence ,...
573,719
4,532,636
95,179
1
Dreck
Saying that " Friday the 13th Part VII : The New Blood " is god awful is like saying the sun rises in the East . It's just an objective fact , and there's not anything anyone can possibly say to refute it . I have about as much energy to muster up a comment about this film as the filmmakers had in creating it , and bel...
574,082
4,532,636
203,009
1
Ugh !
Well , I guess I didn't " get it , " since that's how everyone who loves this stinking movie explains away those of us who don't . Couldn't have anything to do with the ridiculous performances ( who else wanted to see John Leguizamo take a long walk off a short pier , and who else but me felt embarrassed for poor Jim B...
574,036
4,532,636
70,423
2
Hold on to Your Artichokes
Here at IMDb it's called " The Mutations " ; the version I saw was called " The Freakmaker . " No matter what title you give it , the result is one pretty bad movie . Donald Pleasance slums mightily in the role of a college professor / mad scientist whose ultimate dream is to create a race of half plant / half human cr...
573,349
4,532,636
52,618
2
A Nearly Unwatchable Hollywood " Classic "
Hopeless . If you can endure Charlton Heston's painful attempts at " serious " acting for nearly four ( ! ) hours , you will ultimately be done in anyway by the film's sheer unwieldy clunkiness . It lumbers along under William Wyler's direction like a crippled elephant , coming alive in only a couple of places ( the la...
574,077
4,532,636
85,959
2
Downright Painful
Believe me , I did not want to dislike this movie , but ultimately I thought it was just awful . They Pythoners show none of the comedic dexterity on display in " The Holy Grail " or " Life of Brian , " and this movie put me sadly in mind of the worst " SNL " skits , when one lame joke is drawn agonizingly out over a 1...
574,422
4,532,636
454,841
2
Needlessly Savage and Not Remotely Scary
My wife recently planned a night out with her girlfriends , so I had the T . V . to myself and the chance to watch some movies she wouldn't want to see . I had a hankering for some good old fashioned vintage porn and a good scary movie , so I rented this , " Debbie Does Dallas " and " Taboo . " Of the three films I ren...
573,401
4,532,636
56,937
2
In the Running for Most Boring Movie Ever Made
I can't imagine this gargantuan historical epic being of interest to anyone . As a serious piece of film , it's far too wooden and dull to appeal to cinephiles ; but for the same reasons , it doesn't even satisfy those looking for trashy camp . In terms of its physical production , " Cleopatra " takes the " more is bet...
573,860
4,532,636
76,451
2
Start Spreading the News , This Movie Is Crap
Martin Scorsese's deconstruction of the golden Hollywood musical is a meandering disaster . " New York , New York " is damn near unwatchable . It tells the VERY slight story of a jackass saxophone player ( Robert De Niro ) who falls in love with a nightclub singer ( Liza Minelli ) and proceeds to emotionally abuse her ...
574,278
4,532,636
443,274
2
Changing the Point of View Doesn't Make This Movie Any Better
What could have been a reasonably entertaining B-movie is instead turned into a total disaster . Here's the gimmick : the events in " Vantage Point " unfold multiple times from the perspectives of different characters . Each time we see the story , we either learn something we didn't know before , or the movie tosses u...
573,327
4,532,636
32,145
2
Witheringly Boring Heights
Wuthering Heights is a florid , over-heated , dull Gothic romance based on a florid , over-heated , dull Gothic novel . This movie and everything about it grated on me - - why it's considered to be such a classic ( and worthy of placement on the AFI's list of 100 greatest films of all time ) I'll never know . I guess...
574,432
4,532,636
70,047
2
A Steaming Pile of Demon Puke
A ridiculous and laughable " horror " film about demonic possession . " The Exorcist " is simply terrible . William Friedkin directed with an iron fist , and there isn't the least shade of subtlety to this story . You may feel assaulted , but you won't be scared . Poor Ellen Burstyn has to wade her way through this cra...
573,617
4,532,636
286,716
2
The Horror , the Horror . . . .
I so wanted to give this film a better review , because if nothing else , " Hulk " at least takes a more interesting than average approach to the comic - book - turned - into - summer - blockbuster genre . Ang Lee gets kudos from me for his use of split screens to suggest the panels of a comic book , but that's about w...
573,877
4,532,636
71,803
2
Ghastly
This is a terrible movie , and I'm not even sure why it's so terrible . It's ugly , for one , with that trendy 1970s visual style that maybe seemed like a good idea at the time but which now enables one to instantly recognize a film from that time period as being a 70s product . The film retains the story and songs tha...
573,762
4,532,636
78,504
2
Do NOT Ease on Down THIS Road
A colossal misfire . My theory is that every great director had to direct at least one crappy movie musical ( think about it , John Huston did " Annie , " Robert Altman did " Popeye , " etc . ) , and " The Wiz " is Sidney Lumet's dubious contribution . An all-black , motown version of " The Wizard of Oz " isn't a bad i...
573,815
4,532,636
88,915
2
Film Almost Single Handedly Undermines the Integrity of the Pulitzer Prize
If you were to judge based on the movie alone , the committee that gave the stage musical " A Chorus Line " a Pulitzer Prize , and Broadway audiences that kept the war horse running for 15 years , were all on heavy narcotics , because one singular sensation this film certainly is NOT . What possessed anyone to think th...
573,827
4,532,636
71,455
2
Heston's Performance Is About an 8 . 5 on the Richter Scale
1974 was a bad year for L . A . First , its brand new skyscraper caught on fire and imperiled the likes of William Holden , Faye Dunaway , Steve McQueen and Paul Newman - - whose lives were all partially in the hands of O . J . Simpson , no less ! Then it was struck by a mega-quake that completely devastated the city a...
573,429
4,532,636
81,353
2
Quintet , I Apologize - - THIS Is the Worst Altman Film Ever Made
Oh , Robert Altman , I love you and may you rest in peace , but DAMN did you make some bad movies . I've been re-watching Altman's entire oeuvre on DVD lately ( or at least the movies available ) and have had to seriously reconsider my ranking system . I had thought that " Quintet " was the nadir of his 1970s film care...
574,039
4,532,636
443,649
2
Mammoths and Tigers and Bad Acting , Oh My ! !
Thank God that Roland Emmerich is making movies and setting history straight , because without him I never would have realized that prehistoric man looked not unlike cast members from " Rent . " What is that elusive ingredient that makes a bad movie fun to watch ? Because whatever it is , " 10 , 000 B . C . " is missin...
573,658
4,532,636
44,926
2
Can't Anybody Make a Good Movie About the Moulin Rouge ?
This dreary biopic about Toulouse-Lautrec , directed by the usually reliable John Huston , only proves that no one has yet been able to make a compelling movie about the famous painter or the Moulin Rouge of turn-of-the-20th-century Paris . Baz Luhrman's film from 2001 is appalling and unwatchable . Huston's film is ju...
574,128
4,532,636
329,575
2
Use the DVD as a Coaster If You Want Your Full Money's Worth
Using your copy of " Seabiscuit " to set drinks on would be a more interesting use for it than actually playing the boring thing . Oh , what a safe , boring , dull movie this is . Gary Ross obviously went to the Ron Howard school of directing , where points are pounded home with a hammer and anvil and manipulated emoti...
573,756
4,532,636
62,362
2
This Is What They Make You Watch in Hell
I was going to give this movie 1 star until I realized that I gave " Moulin Rouge " that ranking , and I can't possibly hate a movie as much as that one . You might think from my ratings of these two movie musicals that I don't like movie musicals . Not so . I like GOOD movie musicals , not stinky ones like this . I wi...
574,000
4,532,636
92,644
2
Unnecessary Sequel Does Everything Wrong
A terrible and unpleasant sequel to the surprise hit from 1984 . Though it reassembles most of the cast from the original , including Eddie Murphy in the role that made him a big-screen movie star , all of the other elements that made the first one so enjoyable are gone . Director Tony Scott seems to be absolutely clue...
573,954
4,532,636
48,960
2
As Unnecessary as It Could Possibly Be
Around the World in 80 Days recreates the sensation of looking through someone else's vacation pictures . Some of them may be pretty , but by the time you've seen your fifth picture of palm trees and sand , you're ready to move on . This movie existed solely as a big F YOU to the television industry and the threat it...
573,938
4,532,636
443,489
2
Really , Really Bad ( I Mean , Really )
What ? . . . . What did you say ? . . . . Sorry , I'm having a little trouble hearing you . . . . I think all of the caterwauling in this movie gave me permanent hearing loss . . . . . . . I'm suing Bill Condon . . . . . Either the stage version of " Dreamgirls " sucked royally and they made a very faithful ( and sucky...
574,254
4,532,636
48,316
2
Love Is a Syrupy , Schmaltzy Thing
This film looks great , and that's about where my praise ends . " Love Is a Many Splendored Thing " came out in the very schizophrenic year of 1955 , when candy-coloured nonsense like this co-existed with trail-blazing artistic fair like " Kiss Me Deadly . " As a trend toward smaller , socially conscious films like " O...
573,315
4,532,636
448,134
2
I've Rarely Seen a Movie So Utterly Ruined by Its Ending
Sunshine is an hour of pretty good movie completely ruined by a disastrously terrible final 30 minutes . Danny Boyle's latest exercise in feel-bad cinema finds a crew of astronauts on their way to launch a mega-bomb at Earth's dying sun , hoping to revive it and save the fate of humanity . They're the second crew to ...
574,360
4,532,636
42,327
2
For Use in Place of Chinese Water Torture
If I were to be kidnapped by terrorists , making me watch this movie again would be more effective than any other brand of torture they could devise . If you want information out of me , just let me get a glimpse of Jeanne Crain's saccharine , dreadful performance here and I'll break faster than a ninety-year-old woman...
573,707
4,532,636
66,579
2
The Movie Sucks , Which Means It's a Faithful Adaptation of Its Source
Well , you might not actually SEE any women in love in this movie , but you'll certainly hear women TALKING about love , and men talking about love , and women talking about men , and men talking about women , and men talking about men , and everyone talking about death , and talking , and talking , until you yourself ...
574,396
4,532,636
407,304
3
Huge Disappointment
For all of its nonstop action set pieces and narrow escapes , " War of the Worlds " is a strangely inert piece of film-making . There's absolutely nothing in the film to retain your interest . Tom Cruise plays a completely anonymous character who you learn nothing about , and his kids serve little purpose beyond being ...
574,460
4,532,636
61,439
3
This Round Table Is as Square as They Come
A lumbering screen version of the hit Broadway musical . " Camelot " came out at a time when Hollywood was losing its ability to make good screen musicals . Partly , audience taste was changing , and quaint stuff like " Camelot " just looked dated and irrelevant next to films like " The Graduate " or " Bonnie and Clyde...
573,380
4,532,636
105,378
3
One of Allen's Worst
Shadows and Fog is surely one of Woody Allen's weakest films , right up there with " September " and " Hollywood Ending " ( though nothing Allen has done equals the awfulness of " Anything Else " ) . " Shadows and Fog " is Allen's homage to the German Expressionist style of film-making , all stark and stylized light ...
574,094
4,532,636
1,046,997
3
After This Disaster , Spike Lee Needs to Keep His Mouth Shut
This God-awful mess of a movie is the last piece of proof I need to convince me that Spike Lee is pretty much worthless as a filmmaker . I have to believe that critics who gave this film even the faintest praise were merely being respectful to its subject matter and the intentions behind it . Because everything else ab...
573,670
4,532,636
26,421
3
A Formula Worn Thin
A tedious yawn of a film that retains nothing of the zing and raciness of its predecessor , " Gold Diggers of 1933 . " The Production Code was firmly in place by the time of this film's release , so the humour is all of the hokey , wocka-wocka variety and gone are the dry one-liners that sounded so cosmopolitan drippin...
573,446
4,532,636
83,833
3
If I Ever Eat at This Diner , Please Seat Me Far Away from These Yahoos
Ugh , I hated " Diner . " A group of college twerps who don't want to grow up sit around and blather on incessantly . I believe we're supposed to think they're cute and lovable , shaking our heads in mock disapproval of their pesky antics . Give me a break . Nothing's more boring than watching a movie about people who ...
574,178
4,532,636
23,730
3
No Cheers for This Warners Short
This Warners short , which I presume ran on the same bill as Mervyn LeRoy's " I Am a Fugitive from a Chain Gang , " is a mostly tired and unfunny film . It reminded me of just about every " Saturday Night Live " skit ever made , in which all of the actors think the material is funnier than the people watching it , and ...
574,072
4,532,636
45,963
3
An Ugly Stage-to-Screen Adaptation
The Broadway musical on which this film is based may display oodles of charm , but if so , the film adaptation captures none of it . Kathryn Grayson and Howard Keel prove once again that they were singers first and actors second , and exhibit less than compelling screen presence . It wouldn't matter if they created fir...
574,472
4,532,636
37,536
3
A Boring Do-Over
Ugh , this film is dull and tedious . It followed the huge box office success and heap of Oscars bestowed upon " Going My Way , " and virtually sets out to recreate that film with some minor changes . One of those changes is the addition of Ingrid Bergman , and thank God for her . I've never been much of a Bergman fan ...
574,352
4,532,636
93,940
3
A Deadening Woody Allen Film in the Style of Ingmar Bergman
Woody Allen's cringe-inducing " September " comes across as something a film student would make if he were given the assignment of making a movie in the style of Ingmar Bergman . It's oppressive , claustrophobic and intolerably whiny , filled with unpleasant people complaining about their boring problems . Though the f...
573,625
4,532,636
60,438
3
Horribly Dated
With apparently no faith in the pretty strong material , the filmmakers decided to do away with most of the aspects that made the musical charming in the first place ( like , oh , most of the music ! ) and replace it with groovy 60's trickery that looks like something right out of Benny Hill ( look , the action is sped...
573,825
4,532,636
452,623
3
A Pointless Exercise in Human Nastiness
This crabby pill of a movie takes place in the dreg districts of Boston and stars Casey Affleck and Michelle Monaghan as a boyfriend / girlfriend detective team who are hired to search for a missing child . What follows is a twisty plot with a stupid and implausible finale . The movie is surly , everyone involved is in...
573,534
4,532,636
95,765
3
Are You Kidding Me ?
I should have known to stay away from this movie when it was recommended to me by someone who wouldn't normally be caught dead watching a foreign language film . The best way to describe the kind of movie we're dealing with here is to say that if you liked " Life Is Beautiful " you will like " Cinema Paradiso . " Peopl...
574,319
4,532,636
383,574
3
YO , HO , HO and a Mixed Bag of Fun
Midway through the third installment of Walt Disney's deliriously popular pirate franchise , a character says of Capt . Jack Sparrow ( played by Johnnny Depp in what now has to qualify as one of the weirdest characterizations in screen history ) , " Is he making this up as he goes along ? " Shiver me timbers , mateys ,...
574,008
4,532,636
368,222
3
Great Cast Stranded in a Lame Movie
John Turturro's terribly uneven film ranges from the fairly imaginative to the downright horrible . Much of the film reminded me way too much of the worst traits of certain Coen brothers movies : too grotesque , too jokey , too enamored of its own charm . There are moments that come close to saving it , but overall thi...
573,847
4,532,636
356,680
3
A Big Fat Holiday Turkey
If you've got a hankering for a good old fashioned feel-bad holiday movie , " The Family Stone " will be right up your alley . Then you may be able to enjoy this grueling story about an uptight and mostly unlikable yuppie , Meredith ( Sarah Jessica Parker ) , being introduced to her fiancé's mostly obnoxious and unfrie...
574,323
4,532,636
69,404
3
An Unforgivably Bad Adaptation of a Great Book
I'm fine with filmmakers adapting books to the screen and doing what they need to do to make the source material cinematic . But I'm always mystified by filmmakers who adapt a book to the screen and change so much that it's nearly a completely different story . I wonder why they wanted to adapt the book in the first pl...
574,120
4,532,636
35,899
3
A Sorry Attempt to Capitalize on an Established Hit - - Sound Familiar ?
This woeful follow up to the accomplished 1941 original " Wolf Man " provides proof that the Hollywood of today has not cornered the market on stupid , unoriginal and unnecessary sequels . The dynamite premise behind this film - - putting Lon Chaney's wolf man and Dr . Frankenstein's monster ( here played unmenacingly ...
573,669
4,532,636
68,833
3
Uneven and Unscary
Notable primarily as Wes Craven's first feature film , " The Last House on the Left " does not deserve the reputation it has garnered as one of the scariest films ever made . There's really nothing scary about this movie , except for the admittedly frightening idea of being murdered in your own back yard ( figuratively...
574,234
4,532,636
79,770
3
Did Altman Even WANT Anyone to Actually Watch This ?
The best thing I can say about " Quintet " is that it's not quite as bad as I remembered it being on my first viewing . But that doesn't mean it's good . This weird , sci-fi thriller is not quite like any other movie I've ever seen , which I guess at least gives it the stamp of novelty . But it's a borderline disaster ...
574,084
4,532,636
112,379
3
Exasperating
Antonia's Line is one of those movies that's in love with its own quirkiness . This isn't always necessarily bad . Quirky films can be quite delightful when done well . However , in this case , the quirkiness comes at the expense of plot and logic . My sense is that this film's director intended Antonia and her line ...
574,182
4,532,636
44,030
4
Impressively Large , But Unimpressive
Show Boat is one of those garish musicals from the 1950s where scope and spectacle dwarfed content and story . It's directed lethargically by George Sidney , as if he thought audiences would be so tickled by the elaborate Technicolor sets and costumes that he could just set up his camera and let it run . Said costume...
574,391
4,532,636
36,872
4
For Those Who Cry at Hallmark Commercials
Slow , ponderous , almost completely lacking in dramatic significance and cavity-inducing in its sweetness . If it's not as intensely boring as its sequel , " The Bells of St . Mary's , " released a year later , that's only because this one came first and so at least has the advantage of being new . The acting is fine ...
573,941
4,532,636
35,238
4
A Romantic Slog with Ronald Colman and Greer Garson
Plausibility was never a strong suit of 1940s romantic melodramas , but even at that " Random Harvest " is just too much to bear . This ridiculous twaddle finds Ronald Colman as a WWI veteran who has lost his memory and wanders out of the mental institution in which he has been living , only to be adopted by Greer Gars...
574,054
4,532,636
26,328
4
An Unintentionally Creepy Short
This short film , featuring ventriloquist Edgar Bergen and his famous character creation Charlie McCarthy , appears on the DVD release of " The Public Enemy . " This was my first exposure to this popular comedy " team , " and there's just no getting around how incredibly creepy Charlie McCarthy is . Ever since I saw " ...
573,787
4,532,636
106,918
4
At Least It's Got Holly Hunter
The Firm is the only John Grisham book I've ever read , and while I remember barely anything about it , I remember that the movie version veered far away from the plot of the book as it reached its climax . I also remember that the film is flabby , far too long and has one of the most annoying piano scores I've ever ...
573,778
4,532,636
352,248
4
Haven't Rocky and De Niro Pretty Much Said All There Is to Say About Boxing ?
Ron Howard has carved a niche for himself as creator of treacly populist hokum , and it seems pointless to criticize his movies again and again for being maudlin , manipulative and pandering . To his credit , he knows how to put a movie together , and by now everyone should know what to expect from a Howard film and no...
573,390
4,532,636
308,055
4
A Bunch of Nothing
From its opening moments , " Bobby " announces itself as an IMPORTANT movie , and it never recovers from that most deadly of deadly movie intentions . One wishes he could get inside of writer / director Emilio Estevez's head , because I have a strong suspicion that all of the parts that were supposed to make " Bobby " ...
574,244
4,532,636
52,225
4
Dull Screen Adaptation of Rodgers & Hammerstein's Classic
Joshua Logan turns the Pulitzer-Prize-winning stage musical into a lumbering , charmless film . You can tell he doesn't know what to do with stage material , because his instincts to open the film up and take advantage of stunning South Pacific locations ( though who knows where it was actually filmed ) fight constantl...
574,186
4,532,636
388,125
4
A Mawkish Bit of Utter Cheese
Poor Shirley MacLaine tries hard to lend some gravitas to this mawkish , gag-inducing " feel-good " movie , but she's trampled by the run-away sentimentality of a film that's not the least bit grounded in reality . This was directed by Curtis Hanson ? Did he have a lobotomy since we last heard from him ? Hanson can do ...
573,923
4,532,636
39,169
4
Amiable But Very Slight
A rather uninspired but harmless enough movie that goes around the world and back again to establish its goofy premise . Even for movies from this time period this one stretches the boundaries of credibility . Cary Grant gets many chances to show off his flair for physical comedy , Shirley Temple is no less grating as ...
573,632
4,532,636
91,778
4
Dud Sequel to Tobe Hooper's Memorable Ghost Story
A lame follow up to the phenomenally successful and tremendously entertaining 1982 spook fest about a normal suburban family terrorized by ghouls . The same strong leads ( JoBeth Williams and Craig T . Nelson ) return , and I give this movie credit for not simply making a carbon copy of the first film the way so many s...
574,171
4,532,636
76,448
4
A Grueling , Miserable Story for Kids
Does anyone still submit his children to this ? I spent 22 of the most agonizing minutes of my life watching this feel-bad puppetoon made for T . V . movie . In this charmer , Nestor is mercilessly ridiculed by everyone because of his long ears , is nearly kidnapped by Roman soldiers who are stealing donkeys for use by...
573,452
4,532,636
39,631
4
Chaplin Made This ?
I find it interesting that Chaplin himself considered this to be his most clever and witty film , because I thought it was desultory and downright boring . It's supposed to be a black comedy about a cad ( Chaplin ) who plays women like violins and then murders them , but there's little to no humour to be found here . I...
573,319
4,532,636
74,254
4
Altman's Take on the Wild West
A very weak Altman film , all the weaker because it came out the year after one of Altman's best works : " Nashville . " " Buffalo Bill . . . " is one of the most savagely satiric films from a director known for savage satire . Unfortunately , it's also a one-joke film , whose joke is given away in the first five minut...
573,309
4,532,636
78,721
4
A Far from Perfect 10
Any movie featuring Dudley Moore as an object of sexual attraction is doomed from the start , since I can't imagine anyone wanting to have sex with him . I CAN , however , imagine a lot of people wanting to have sex with Bo Derek , that is until they see her act . This Blake Edwards film is not good - - people think th...
574,100
4,532,636
91,738
4
Kathleen Turner Got Stuck in a Bad Movie
Did Francis Ford Coppola have a brain aneurysm some time after directing " Apocalypse Now " that made him absolutely incapable of making a good movie ? You have to wonder what the director of " The Godfather " and " The Conversation " was thinking when he made this flabby film . It gives Kathleen Turner a starring vehi...
573,567
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47,123
4
Holliday Leftovers
Judy Holliday struck gold in 1950 withe George Cukor's film version of " Born Yesterday , " and from that point forward , her career consisted of trying to find material good enough to allow her to strike gold again . It never happened . In " It Should Happen to You " ( I can't think of a blander title , by the way ) ,...
573,784
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87,298
4
If Only the Title Were True
Maybe to save themselves the embarrassment of admitting just how many of these stinkers they sunk money into , the studio dropped the " 4 " from this sequel and gave it the cryptic subtitle " The Final Chapter . " Yeah , right . Like anybody believed that , even at the time . Someone once told me that all of the even "...
574,011
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89,160
4
A Somnolent Experiment from Robert Altman
Fool for Love is one of the several now forgotten films Robert Altman directed throughout the 1980s . This one , a screen adaptation of a Sam Shepard play that features Shepard in the lead role , just simply isn't very good . Altman made many not-very-good films over the course of his fascinating career , and many ti...
574,067
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47,522
4
A Coma Is Induced
Oh Lord , what a long , long , long movie . Rarely will you find yourself investing so much time for so little payoff . Alcoholic husband makes wife a star . Husband dies . Wife feels sad . The end . Director George Cukor thinks he's making a Biblical epic , because he uses an enormous aspect ratio and fills it to the ...
574,188
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64,840
4
Tell Me Why I Should Care , Miss Brodie
I felt much the same way about " The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie " the movie as I did about " The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie " the book - - so what ? Miss Brodie is an unlikable character ; she's pompous , arrogant , sometimes delusional . So when she goes too far and is brought down by one of her less impressionable fema...
573,896
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45,564
4
Who Knew Fritz Lang Could Make a Boring Movie ?
A mediocre pseudo-noir thriller from Fritz Lang . I watched this only a few days after seeing the 1947 film " High Wall , " and was struck by how the two films tell much the same story with genders reversed . In this one , Anne Baxter plays a phone operator who goes out with a lecherous artist ( Raymond Burr ) on an im...
573,689
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78,481
4
Messy Ensemble Movie Sinks Faster Than the Time It Takes to Watch It
It never gives me pleasure to report that any Robert Altman film is a dog , but there's just no denying that " A Wedding " rolls over and dies about mid-way through . Altman tries to instill the same sort of divine chaos on his massive ensemble that he did in " Nashville " to such tremendous effect , but without the st...
573,768
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66,011
4
Romeo and Juliet for Dummies
Start with " Romeo and Juliet , " remove the soaring Shakespearean language , the interesting characterizations and plot intricacies , and keep Romeo alive at the end , and you might get something approximating this gloopy 1970 blockbuster . " Love Story " made temporary box-office stars out of Ali MacGraw and Ryan O'N...
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41,113
4
A Waste of Good Source Material
This Oscar-winning screen adaptation of the Pulitzer-Prize-winning Robert Penn Warren novel feels oddly truncated , like director Robert Rossen filmed a much longer movie , and then an unqualified editor hacked it down to the movie we see . The pacing is off , scenes feel cut short and much of it is confusing , as if t...
574,137
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37,884
4
Well Below Wilder's Usual Standard
Perhaps it's inevitable that a film that appeared so shocking and candid 60 years ago would seem so hopelessly out of touch with reality today , but I don't think the ultimate failure of this film can be blamed on the passing of time alone . Billy Wilder was a fantastic director , making movies that at the time were so...
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34,167
4
Might Possibly Make You Vomit
Audiences loved this biopic about good ' ol boy Alvin York , fresh from the hills of Tennessee , who entered World War I despite his pacifist beliefs and then carried out an almost unbelievable act of bravery . It probably helped that the film came out just as America was entering WWII , and a message about someone dev...
574,194
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64,030
4
A Limp Costume Drama to End the Decade
This drippy costume drama is the worst of the flurry of similarly-themed films that came out in the 1960s and include movies like " Becket , " " A Man for All Seasons , " and " The Lion in Winter . " When you compare " Anne of the Thousand Days " to all of the other terrific and exciting movies coming out in 1969 - - "...
573,740
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88,933
4
When the Walker Is a Rockin ' . . . . .
A gooey Ron Howard film about a bunch of old people who go swimming with alien pods and begin to regain their youth and vigor . The film is a who's who of famous veteran actors like Don Ameche , Wilford Brimley , Maureen Stapleton , Hume Cronyn , Jessica Tandy and Gwen Verdon , but it's all rather embarrassing and cond...
574,092
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109,830
4
The Ultimate Fad Movie
Forrest Gump is the ultimate fad movie . It came out big in 1994 and created a cultural sensation . It was easy to get swept up in its panorama of American cultural history , and all of the iconic imagery in the film made it seem like it was saying something important . But all these years later , this treacly piece ...
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76,843
4
Can Someone Justify This Film's Existence ?
Shirley MacLaine and Anne Bancroft play one-time ballerina rivals in this pointless sudser from 1977 . MacLaine has a loving husband and comfy home , but gave up her career ; Bancroft has the career , but no one to share it with . Both re-meet when MacLaine's daughter becomes a ballerina and struggle with feelings of w...
573,863
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49,456
4
This Film Could Have Used a Little More Lust and Life
A plodding biopic about painter Vincent Van Gogh . Vincente Minelli was a terribly uninteresting director , and the day after seeing this film I had forgotten entirely about it . The most interesting thing about the film are the images of Van Gogh's actual paintings that Minelli inserts throughout , and the occasional ...
574,299
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73,582
4
Dull Horror Film Goes Nowhere
Unfortunately , it appears that I saw Dario Argento's best film , " Suspiria , " first , and none of the ones I've seen subsequently measure up to that one . All of the imagination Argento could muster for this serial killer story went in to staging a few elaborate and gruesome murder scenes . Too bad that all of the s...
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787,523
4
Lost in Translation
Towelhead , the story of a 13-year-old Lebanese girl dealing with both cultural and gender identity crises in a Texas suburb , has a distinctly autobiographical feel about it . It's based on a novel by Alicia Erian , one I have not read and so cannot comment on . But either the source material was weak to begin with ...
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49,314
4
Just Watch " The Philadelphia Story " Instead
A completely unnecessary remake . The casting's not half bad for what the film makers were trying to accomplish , but every time anyone delivers a line , you'll simply sit there thinking how much better the line would have been had the actor from " The Philadelphia Story " who played that particular character delivered...
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430,357
4
A Joyless , Arduous Experience
With " Miami Vice , " on-again-off-again director Michael Mann gives us a grim , hateful movie , and large parts of it feel more like an endurance test than a summer entertainment . I don't care whether or not this movie accurately reimagines the original T . V . series for the screen - - I never saw the series and so ...
573,336
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109,579
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To Be Endured , Not Enjoyed
Death and the Maiden tells a harrowing story , one that's not meant to be pleasant . But even so , there is a difference between telling an unpleasant story and creating an unpleasant experience , and unfortunately , director Roman Polanski doesn't maintain that distinction with this film . He's proved that he knows ...
574,139
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395,972
4
A Huge Disservice to What Should Have Been a Powerful Story
Niki Caro's follow up to her wonderful " Whale Rider " is full of good intentions , but it's a poundingly monotonous film . Charlize Theron plays Josey Aimes , poor mother of two who goes to work in a northern Minnesota mine where women are decidedly not wanted . She and her female co-workers suffer all manner of mistr...
574,343
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118,929
4
Wow , I'm Really in the Minority Here
I've read reviews of " Dark City " in many places ( and many of them here ) hailing it as a modern science fiction masterpiece , so boy was I disappointed when I watched it and came to the sober conclusion that it's just not very good . Yeah , yeah , yeah the visuals are stunning , blah , blah , blah , but as is proved...
574,403
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86,425
4
Pass Me a Barf Bag
Blech ! ! A gloopy soap opera starring Shirley MacLaine and Debra Winger as a contentious mother / daughter duo , whose on-again / off-again relationship culminates in the daughter dying of cancer in one of the most emotionally manipulative plot developments in the history of cinema . Both MacLaine and Winger are too g...