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573,574 | 4,532,636 | 335,345 | 4 | This Is What Everyone Got So Worked Up About ? | I finally saw this film after everyone has said all that can be said about it , so I'll be brief . Expecting the absolute worst from Mr . Mel " Sadist " Gibson , I have to say that this film is nowhere near as good as its idolatrous fan base would have you believe , but neither is it as repellent as its detractors claim . In short , it's just a movie , not a particularly good one , with absolutely no emotional content and nothing in it to either explain what's happening or to make you care . It looks terrific - - - Mel obviously has cash to spare for his film-director-as-God craziness . But that's about where the praise ends . The whole thing has a nasty tone ; in Mel's version of the tale , anyone who had anything to do with Jesus suffers nothing but misery , and while I'm not a believer myself , my guess is that's not the moral of the story as Jesus would tell it . And when Jesus marches out of the tomb at the end , eyes a-blazin ' and military music blasting away on the soundtrack , I forgot for a second whether I was watching a film about Jesus or whether I had accidentally stumbled on to " Braveheart Part II . " Mel Gibson is a wretched director , and the worst thing anyone can do with wretched directors is to take their work too seriously , for that gives them clout they don't deserve . All he's done here is turn a Biblical story into a horror movie , complete with creepy Satan babies and more shredded flesh than is on display in the entire " Friday the 13th " series . This stuff was camp 30 years ago , and it's just sad to see Gibson resorting to schlock effects in an attempt to make up for his movie's complete lack of narrative grounding . See this or don't see this , whichever is your preference . But religious or not , this film is not going to change your life . If it does , then you need to get a different one . |
573,623 | 4,532,636 | 325,710 | 4 | A Good Movie Turned Bad | How disappointing that " The Last Samurai " becomes dreadful in its last half , because the first half is quite engaging . This movie is what results when a director with left-leaning sensibilities tries to make a liberal-minded " message " movie without the courage of his own convictions . So the movie is not content to merely show us the crisis facing the Samurai in the face of westernization and letting our sympathies lie with them . . . . Oh no , fearful that an American audience would not take to a film centered around Japanese characters , we have to have a white , hot-shot Hollywood actor to root for , who sweeps in to be our hero . We get a token Japanese hero to root for as well , but guess who remains living at the end of the film ? Didn't Kevin Costner already make this movie ? Tom Cruise's heart is obviously in the right place . He gives an incredibly earnest performance . . . and that's part of the problem . He's SO earnest that I never forgot for a second that I was watching Tom Cruise , Mr . Hollywood A-List , feeling self-important for attaching himself to such an important film . Ken Watanabe received heaps of praise for his performance , but I fail to see what the hype is about . And the obligatory love story is just silly - - - obviously , the movie makers thought so too , because they make only a half-hearted attempt to develop it in the first place . I loved the message in " The Last Samurai , " but I hated the approach taken to the material . It's yet one more movie in which the creators give the audience not one single amount of credit for having a brain ; emotions are force-fed to us through superficial means like slow-motion and thundering music . Not comfortable with any amount of ambiguity , all of the Americans except for Tom Cruise have to be evil , and all of the Samurai have to be entirely noble . The film inadvertently makes the point that killing someone with a sword or a bow and arrow makes you a better person than killing someone with a gun , conveniently sidestepping the fact that killing is killing , regardless of how it's done . My summary : a pretty film with not a brain in its head . |
574,389 | 4,532,636 | 36,723 | 4 | Just Not Very Good | Cover Girl is a lacklustre WWII musical with absolutely nothing memorable about it , save for its signature song , " Long Ago and Far Away . " This film came out before Gene Kelly really hit his artistic stride , and while there are evidences of his burgeoning talent here , mostly he plays sidekick to Rita Hayworth . And there's the problem . Rita Hayworth is gorgeous , no doubt about that . But she's simply not a compelling screen presence . I've always found myself wanting to like her more than I actually do , and this movie is no exception . She's simply not a very good actress , and she's not even a very good dancer . Good looking as she is , there's something vapid about her , and this movie suffers because of it . |
573,520 | 4,532,636 | 103,644 | 4 | The Alien Itself Is One of the Least Unpleasant Things About This Movie | David Fincher's contribution to the " Alien " series is a completely unpleasant experience . It's grim , dour , grungy and depressing , filled with ugly characters who we don't learn anything about and therefore don't care about . As they get picked off one by one by the alien , we're moved to feel nothing more than that Fincher is automatically going through the motions . There's no thrill in this film , as there was in the first two films . There's also not a scare - - neither psychological nor visceral - - to be had . This sequel brings nothing new to the story - - after " Aliens , " the creators of this series should have put it to rest , because there isn't much more material to mine from this particular concept . And one of the things that bothered me the most about " Alien 3 " is its inconsistency . How can Ripley be impregnated with an alien for weeks before it hatches from her , whereas every other single creature infected before her ( even including the dog in this one ) hatches an alien seemingly within hours ? You can't change the rules on us and not expect us to rebel . |
574,167 | 4,532,636 | 450,259 | 4 | Ridiculous in More Ways Than I Can Count | Just in time for the holiday season , director Edward Zwick offers the latest in his long line of bloated , liberal do-gooder movies , this one designed to make a bunch of privileged Americans feel ever-so-slightly-guilty about all of their Christmas consumerism . Of course , he ( and Hollywood ) doesn't want you to feel TOO bad about it ( they want to make money off of us after all ) , so he gussies up his movie with a bunch of traditional action-movie histrionics that maybe wouldn't seem ridiculous if this was a jungle flick from the 1940s , but that in the here and now of 2006 feels like a hopeless attempt to give us our medicine with one hand while spoon feeding us ice cream with the other . This is sanctimonious , hypocritical film-making as only Hollywood can deliver , folks . Let's show people what it's like in Africa , but let's not make it too realistic for them or they might not enjoy that popcorn they're scarfing down . We could tell the real story the way it really is , though no one would come to see it , or we can show Djimon Hounsou and Leonardo DiCaprio flexing their pecs and capitalize on people's love of a good ol ' blockbuster . DiCaprio plays a jaded diamond smuggler with a heart of gold . Jennifer Connelley plays a fiery reporter with whom he falls in love ( yeah , right ) . Djimon Hounsou plays the noble savage ( big surprise ) , who once again proves that he is cast in films primarily for his ability to scream at the top of his voice while delivering his lines . If you can muster up one ounce of concern about what happens to any of these people , good for you . I certainly couldn't , and while the lady next to me in the theater was sniffling and dabbing her eyes at any one of the film's shameless bits of sentimental nonsense , I was checking my watch and stifling a yawn . I have no doubt that Edward Zwick has the best of intentions when making his movies , but I should have listened to my gut and stayed away from this film . He treats his audience as if they're stupid and can't understand a point unless it's underlined three times and has 20 exclamation points tacked on to the end . Yes , I'm glad that there are filmmakers who want to tell important stories to mass audiences and try to find methods of storytelling to which those audiences will respond . But if you're the kind of moviegoer who would rather engage in an intelligent discussion than listen to a bully - - no matter how well intentioned he may be - - pound away from his pulpit , Zwick's films are nearly intolerable , as this one is . |
574,136 | 4,532,636 | 52,182 | 4 | Peyton Place in a Boarding House | A varied assortment of guests sling gossip , secrets and loads of melodrama liberally around the rooms and grounds of an English boarding house . Profound ? No . Entertaining ? For the most part . " Separate Tables " is what results when you mix " Peyton Place " and " Clue . " Everyone's a suspect for Most Noble Sufferer , and mostly the cast does well with the material given , even if in many cases the material doesn't deserve the quality of the actors delivering it . Inevitably , some of the stories are more interesting than the others . The Burt Lancaster / Rita Hayworth love-hate plot line grew tiresome in record pace - - - and too bad , since obviously this is the story the screenwriter and director were most taken with . It definitely dominates . I wanted more of the Deborah Kerr / Gladys Cooper storyline . Deborah Kerr is a bizarre woman-child , unrecognizable in frump garb , dominated by her overbearing mother , Gladys Cooper doing her withering old biddie routine for the umpteenth time . Cooper is a riot , an old lady with WAY too much time on her hands , eager to go witch-hunting at every available opportunity . Poor David Niven is saddled with the role of a lonely British man pretending to be something he's not and trying to hide an embarrassing secret from the group . He wanders around in a smoking jacket doing his best Colonel Mustard impersonation , saying things like " Wot , wot " and mumbling lines to the point of unintelligibility . He inexplicably won a Best Actor Oscar for his performance ( must have been a weak year ) , no doubt more for his body of work up to that point than for this performance specifically . He has maybe 20 minutes of screen time altogether and for most of them is required to do nothing more than look uncomfortable . The best cast member is Wendy Hiller , playing the proprietress of the hotel . Her acting is natural and low-key , and she gets the chance to play a fully rounded character , one with some implied history , and not merely an assemblage of mannerisms . The end of the film is a like a stuffy version of " Dead Poets Society . " I would have given anything to see Deborah Kerr jump onto a table and start clapping , but I guess these guests are a bit too reserved for that sort of thing , wot , wot . |
573,959 | 4,532,636 | 200,720 | 4 | Desultory Adaptation | Coming into this adaptation of the Edith Wharton novel , I thought that Gillian Anderson was the element of the film I would most dislike . I'd only seen the occasional clip of her from " X Files " or the odd award show , but she always came across as vapid and slightly unlikable . My opinion didn't exactly change after watching this movie , but she handled the role better than I anticipated . No , what I disliked most about this film was pretty much everything else : the plodding , dull direction that misses every opportunity to invest the story with the vitality and suspense it has in the novel ; and the screenplay , which obligatorily hits all the plot points but misses all the nuances and shades of character that Wharton offers . The resulting movie is even drier than the stuffiest Merchant / Ivory project and wouldn't give anyone a sense of what makes the book so powerful . The novel is a page-turner , believe it or not . It's at times unbearably suspenseful - - but you wouldn't know it watching this movie . Lily Bart is one of the best heroines ever created in the history of literature , and Anderson , even if better than I thought she would be , simply isn't up to the task of portraying her . Lily should be a life force ; there should be something startling and enigmatic about her . Heads should turn when she walks in the room . Anderson's approach is much more waif like . Her Lily is passive , submissive , meek . The scene in which Lily attends the reading of her aunt's will amid a batch of disapproving relatives should come across with the force that Scarlett O'Hara's party entrance wearing a bright red dress has in " Gone with the Wind . " And the scene in which Lily finally says goodbye to Selden should be heartbreaking , but it doesn't resonate here . Nothing resonates . " The House of Mirth " would make a terrific movie in the right hands . Just because it's a literary adaptation doesn't mean it needs to be freighted with ponderous pacing and a restrained , embalmed atmosphere . On the strength of " The Age of Innocence , " I could see Martin Scorses doing the story justice , with perhaps Reese Witherspoon in the leading role . As for this version , pass it by on your way to the library to pick up the book . |
573,868 | 4,532,636 | 289,043 | 4 | Decent Idea . . . . Not Very Good Movie | 28 Days Later would be a much better movie if the film makers had known what story they wanted to tell . As it is , they start with a high-concept apocalyptic plague premise that degenerates into a slap-dash , jumbled action movie . I suppose Danny Boyle and screenwriter are trying to make the idea of people being infected with rage relevant to our current troubled world state ( the film begins with an image of multiple T . V . monitors each showing news footage of one violent action or another ) , but I think they are much more taken with the idea of making a gross-out movie that will appeal to the alternative grunge crowd , not realizing that grunge is now cliché . What is supposed to feel cutting edge feels stale and like something you've seen done before and done better . The movie gets kudos from me for its visual look , and I do admit that it's never boring , but there's a general feeling of senseless nastiness that negates any message you're going to get from this . |
574,261 | 4,532,636 | 396,269 | 4 | The Unfunniest Comedy of the Year | Wedding Crashers just isn't that funny , though I think it wants to be . After a dazzling , energetic initial fifteen minutes or so , the movie settles into a hum-drum , routine comedy formula and never recovers . Owen Wilson is low-key and pleasant enough to carry it through , but Vince Vaughan creates a grotesque caricature that ceases to be funny early on . There are lots of subplots that could have made the movie a cut above average , but none of them go anywhere , and an actor like Christopher Walken is utterly wasted in a disposable part . Come on , if you have someone like Walken in your movie and you can't find anything funny for him to do , you've got serious problems . The film goes on far too long , and its final quarter gets downright depressing before everything resolves itself predictably in a corny finale . I thought this was supposed to be the funniest movie of the year - - must have been an unusually unfunny year . |
573,859 | 4,532,636 | 32,554 | 5 | Great McGinty Not So Great | A blah Preston Sturges " comedy " about a bum ( Brian Donlevy ) who climbs up the political ladder in corrupt Chicago as a stoolie for a crime boss ( Akim Tamiroff ) , but who discovers a conscience and a genuine desire to do good work along the way . Compared to some of Sturges ' other sparkling films , like " Sullivan's Travels " and " The Palm Beach Story , " " The Great McGinty " is a resounding dud . Donlevy doesn't have the screen presence to carry a film , and there's nary a laugh to be had . The only thing that felt fresh about the film was its unpredictable resolution . Sturges had a knack for ending movies on a high note ; unfortunately , in this case the rest of the movie doesn't live up to the ending . |
573,718 | 4,532,636 | 99,077 | 5 | Cue Tears | A fairly maudlin film with undistinguished direction from Penny Marshall . Robert DeNiro gives an Oscar-bait performance as a catatonic man who responds briefly to the treatment of a benevolent doctor ( Robin Williams , in serious mode ) , only to sink back into his catatonic state . It's reminiscent of the short story " Flowers for Algernon " ( which by the way was made into the movie " Charly , " for which Cliff Robertson won an Oscar - - am I seeing a theme here ? ) The film tries to earn tears the cheap and easy way - - through treacly music and directorial tricks , but I didn't respond much to it . |
574,401 | 4,532,636 | 85,549 | 5 | Work It , Jennifer | A female welder ( yes , you read that correctly ) dreams of being a ballerina - - all she needs to do is convince the audition committee for an elite dancing school that she has what it takes . Boy does she ever , showing them that stripper moves and ballet aren't mutually exclusive , all set to the top 40 sounds of Irene Cara . Welcome to the 1980s , folks , and more specifically , to the run of dance movies clearly inspired by the look and feel of MTV , this one starring Jennifer Beals . " Flashdance " is ridiculous , but would it be anywhere nearly as fun to watch now if it weren't ? |
573,796 | 4,532,636 | 35,279 | 5 | Somebody Sabotaged This Film's Screenplay | I don't hear " Saboteur " talked about much in conversations about Hitchcock's films , and I can see why . It feels more like a product of a second-tier director filming in the style of Alfred Hitchcock than a movie directed by the master himself . Robert Cummings is the wronged man in this story , accused of sabotaging a war munitions plant . He takes off to find the real culprits , running into Priscilla Lane along the way and reenacting some scenes that felt stolen directly from Hitchcock's own " The 39 Steps . " The only thing resembling a Hitchcockian set piece is the film's climax that finds our hero and his nemesis dangling from the torch of the Statue of Liberty . What relegates this film to the Hitchcock bargain bin and renders it forgettable is its ridiculously implausible screenplay . It feels sloppy and frequently makes no sense whatsoever . And the film ends so abruptly that you're not even sure what happens to the main character , but in a way that doesn't feel intentional . I've yet to see a Hitchcock film that isn't at least entertaining , and this one is that , but it's certainly not among his classics . |
573,377 | 4,532,636 | 62,994 | 5 | A Star Is Born ( For Real , This Time ) | Funny Girl may as well be called " A Star Is Born , " because that's what audiences at the time were witnessing , right before their very eyes . This is the film that introduced Barbra Streisand to film audiences and catapulted her into mainstream stardom , and nearly 40 years later , she remains pretty much the only reason to watch this musical . Movie musicals have always been notorious for having flimsy scripts , but " Funny Girl , " s is probably one of the flimsiest . Too often , the transition from stage to screen only serves to magnify the original stage version's biggest problems , and that's the case here . " Funny Girl " is epic in length , but not in scope or substance , so it's one of those movie musicals that feels like it's over before it ever starts . On top of that , it has a bland actor as its leading man ( Omar Sharif , who never again captured the intensity he brought to his role in " Lawrence of Arabia " ) , an unmemorable score , and a rather ungainly look , courtesy of veteran director William Wyler , who perhaps was unused to the mechanics of making musicals . Streisand is the show , the whole show and nothing but the show , and if the film's final shot , the one truly memorable moment in the whole movie , conveys nothing else , it conveys that . |
573,503 | 4,532,636 | 103,074 | 5 | Girl Power , Ridley Scott Style | The critical scene in " Thelma & Louise , " and the one I think the screenplay got most wrong , is the one in which Thelma ( Susan Sarandon ) interrupts an attempted rape of her friend , Louise ( Geena Davis ) , in a bar parking lot . The attack is over , the women are walking away , and the attacker calls Thelma something ( I forget what ) , after which she turns around and shoots him . The way the scene plays out , " Thelma & Louise " could have been an interesting movie , putting the audience in a quandary . The sympathy we're obviously supposed to feel for them would struggle with our desire to see Thelma and Louise face the consequences of their decisions . But the film doesn't go that route . Instead , it drags out a cliché back story for Thelma involving a past rape , so that we have an easy and tidy way to justify away her sociopathic behavior . This removes responsibility from the women , takes choices away from them and presents them to us as victims of an uncaring society . A most UN-feminist viewpoint , if you ask me . Still , Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis give two superb performances as the women on the run , and director Ridley Scott always knows how to keep a story moving . The male characters aren't worth mentioning , since the screenplay treats them as disposable . I guess since they were making a " feminist " movie , the filmmakers thought that they couldn't possibly have a positive image of a male character without somehow weakening their point . I sincerely hope those interested in truly feminist works of art expect more from them than this film has to offer . |
573,340 | 4,532,636 | 52,619 | 5 | Women in the Workplace , 50s Style | With the decade quickly drawing to a close , director Jean Negulesco realized that subsequent generations would likely revere " Peyton Place " as the ultimate example of 1950s camp , so he hustled this cornball movie out and ended up giving " Peyton Place " quite a run for its money . Actually , " The Best of Everything " is moderately more enjoyable than the other film , if only because it doesn't take itself quite so seriously . A group of young women working in a secretarial pool fight , scheme , fall in love , get jilted , kill themselves and put themselves through all other sorts of histrionics in this hysterical film . I wish my work place was even half as intriguing as the one here . Joan Crawford presides over all with an air of icy menace , her eyebrows arched to the high heavens , sending her latest assistant on impossible errands just for the hell of it . Meanwhile , the syrupy title song warbles on and on in that grating way that only film title songs from the 1950s can warble . Crawford , as usual , brings some dignity to the material and , also as usual , almost makes you care about a movie you know you wouldn't otherwise give a damn about . There are men in the movie - - salacious bosses , preening celebrities , square-jawed hotshots - - but frankly , all of them run together . Though now that I think of it , so do the women , except for Crawford , that tireless workhorse who pulled more than her fair share of stinkers out of the gutter . |
573,481 | 4,532,636 | 21,814 | 5 | Classic Horror Movie Sorely Disappoints | I knew Universal Studios excelled at low-budget horror in the 1930s , but I didn't realize just how low budget this movie would be . Tod Browning's " Dracula " looks and moves like an Ed Wood movie ; you can practically see the crewmen hiding just outside of the frame , holding the strings of the fake bats that come flapping up and down and blowing fake fog on to the screen with a fan . This movie only has one or two creepy scenes ; I was sorely disappointed with the rest . Bela Lugosi is effective as the famous Count , but everyone else is terrible , the pacing is sluggish , and the movie just ends , as if the director ran out of film . Did Monty Python direct this ? I expected much more from Tod Browning , who did such compelling work , and on no bigger a budget , with " Freaks " a year later . |
574,488 | 4,532,636 | 388,482 | 5 | Makes Unreality Seem Realistic | Jason Statham returns as Frank Martin in this weaker-sibling sequel to the 2002 original . This time around , he's filling in as chauffeur for a mucky-muck politician ( Matthew Modine ) and his wife , carting their little boy around from school to doctor to home and back . The little boy is kidnapped by a swarthy villain with an accent and a penchant for walking around with no clothes on and his right-hand man , or should I say woman , who stalks around in red heels and racy lingerie and looks like a satanic version of Twiggy . They inject the kid with a deadly virus in the hopes that he will infect his father who will then in turn pass it on to a conference hall full of world politicians . The villain's one mistake is in making Jason Statham angry , and he comes after him , using all manner of transportation , like cars , jet skis , school buses and , in the grand finale , a private jet plummeting into the ocean . There's barely any plot , and what plot there is is incredibly preposterous . Many plot strands are left hanging , and the script doesn't even attempt to explain how all of the people infected with this deadly virus are cured of it . It's fun for a while , but even in an outrageous action film , I require SOME semblance of reality . Statham kicks ass , as is expected , and the movie is ( no surprise ) at its best when it's moving . When it stops long enough for anyone to actually deliver one of the lines from the script ( which could have been written by a 12-year-old ) , the effect is woeful . |
573,438 | 4,532,636 | 457,430 | 5 | One More Violent Christ Fable | Every so often I have that uncomfortable , squirmy feeling I'm sure all moviegoers do , when you're sitting in the theatre watching a movie that critics and audiences alike have hailed as a masterpiece , and you're not enjoying it all . That was me during " Pan's Labyrinth . " My only reaction after coming out of this grueling , depressing Christ fable was : " Did I see the same movie everyone else did ? " Critics are likely responding to director Guillermo del Toro's fierce originality of vision , and indeed that is this film's most impressive asset . But the originality is wasted on a lame story capped by a lamer message , that essentially goes something like this : Don't worry if the life you're currently living brings you nothing but pain and misery - - all of that pain and misery will make you eligible for eternal happiness in Heaven . If you get cozy fuzzy feelings from canned religious homilies like this , then please , go watch this film and enjoy . But for one who doesn't believe in Heaven , and who would rather see films that offer practical messages of hope and salvation for our current troubled world , I felt gypped that in the end this movie had nothing better than that to say . I don't need movies to tell me that the world can be a cruel and uncaring place to live . And a movie certainly need not go back to 1944 Spain to offer up examples of that cruelty . But if it's going to address a problem , it should at least be part of the solution , and give me something I can use . " Pan's Labyrinth " is bold in suggesting that a child's fantasy world may be no match for the harsh realities in which she is living - - in an industry that exists to sell us fantasy through which we can escape the real world , del Toro takes quite a gamble to give us this product that tells us just the opposite . But all of that boldness does nothing more than lead one to a Sunday school lesson that may just be the biggest fantasy of them all . There's very little fantasy in this film , actually , much less than the trailers would have you believe . A majority of the film is devoted to the sadistic actions of a military captain serving Franco's regime , and we get to see him smash a peasant's face with a wine bottle until it caves in , shoot numerous people in the head and other parts of the body , torture one man with all manner of carpenter's tools . At one point , we get to see him stitch up a knife slice in his face in graphic close up detail . Those of us with less of a lust for blood may wonder if the more graphic scenes are truly necessary . Defenders of them will say yes , and that the horrors of this film's reality must be made clear if the juxtaposition of the main character's retreats into fantasy are to be effective . But I say that there is a difference between using violence graphically and using it effectively , and that the most graphic moments in this film do nothing but cheapen the overall effect . And by the way , what is it with religious people and movies ? Why does every religiously-themed film that anyone wants to see have to be dripping in sadism ? What exactly do they teach you in those churches anyway ? This is a really grim film folks , completely lacking in any kind of wit . Guillermo del Toro obviously has imagination to spare , but it's not the kind of imagination I want to be spending any more time with any time soon . |
573,958 | 4,532,636 | 410,097 | 5 | As Believable as the Bush Administration's Reasons for Invading Iraq | Not to be outdone by Julia Roberts , Craig Brewer and his earnest cast led by Terrence Howard set out to prove that pimps , as well as whores , can have hearts of gold too . And despite the gritty 70s movie finish they spray over their film , " Hustle & Flow " is about as grounded in reality as " Pretty Woman . " Howard does a decent job , and anyone who's seen him in person knows how different he is , at least in his mannerisms and voice , from the character of DJ in the film . But he didn't really stand a chance when up against the ridiculous screenplay he and everyone else were forced to slog their way through . Howard's character , a small-time pimp stagnating in some Tennessee back water , who dreams of breaking out into the hip-hop world , felt about as authentic as the cartoon blacks Steven Spielberg created for " The Color Purple . " There are some involving scenes built around DJ and his motley assortment of fellow music lovers creating their songs , and it's easy to be swept along in the funky rhythm of these moments . But the ghastly plot twists toward the end of the film that find DJ going to jail for injuring a thug in a shooting , and then finding stardom on the airwaves while he sits behind bars , surpassed mere over-earnestness and sailed headlong into plain stupidity . Are we really supposed to believe that just because DJ's hooker sidekick dropped some demos off at a couple of local radio stations that suddenly the whole world knows who he is ? Or that prison guards are going to be handing him their own demos and seek his help in breaking into the music biz ? Even Spielberg isn't that corny . And not since " Chitty Chitty Bang Bang " assaulted our ears has a movie's theme song more quickly worn itself thin due to its sheer catchy repetitiveness . |
573,543 | 4,532,636 | 285,742 | 5 | Show Boobs , Win Oscar | A grueling film . Don't worry ; the two protagonists , played by Halle Berry and Billy Bob Thornton , eventually find a sense of peace and redemption . But , and this is a big " but , " not before both of them suffer through the most ridiculously heavy-handed series of tragic events ever committed to celluloid , which actually begin to become funny after a while ( let's see , maybe one of them can develop a brain tumor now , that will REALLY get people's tears pumping ) . It's kind of like Dick Cheney's shooting accident ; you keep wondering how worse it can possibly get before the boundaries of credibility disappear all together . Berry gives a fine performance , if fine performance means she was convincing shoving her boobs in Billy Bob Thornton's face ( convinced me ! ) Her performance during her Oscar acceptance speech was better than anything you see from her here . Thornton , for his part , is good , but he's always good . The finest scene in the film comes when he drops his bastard of a dad off at a retirement home and decides never to visit him again ( there , that's this movie's idea of a happy ending , if you're wondering ) . And before there was " Brokeback Mountain , " Heath Ledger proved to the world that , hey , maybe he can act after all . Too bad his character's in the movie for about ten minutes . This is one of those movies that a liberal white Hollywood fell all over themselves to honor so that Spike Lee would shut up about how there are no movies for black people . I agree with Spike - - African Americans are woefully underrepresented in today's movie marketplace . But come on , we can do better than this , can't we ? |
574,520 | 4,532,636 | 418,689 | 5 | First Chapter of the Iwo Jima Saga Is a Resounding Dud | A noble failure . I saw " Letters from Iwo Jima " first , admired it but wasn't blown away by it , but reserved complete judgement until seeing this film , thinking that possibly taken together both it and " Flags of Our Fathers " would resonate more as a whole than either does separately . They don't . " Letters " remains by far the better film . " Flags of Our Fathers " is a mess , and a rather boring one at that . Clint Eastwood tries to use a complicated structure to tell this story , using mixed up chronology so that pieces of his story fall into place gradually . But he shows no knack for managing a film like this . The screenplay follows three of the surviving Americans who raised the flag on Iwo Jima and were famously photographed doing so , and their guilt at returning to the States and being used as poster boys for the heroism of the American military when in fact they weren't part of the group that initially raised the flag , but were among those who " re-staged " the moment when the first flag was taken down . Eastwood examines the callousness of those behind the American war effort , who want to use the boys as walking commercials for buying war bonds , and he also examines the psyche of the American public , who just needed something , anything , to latch on to in order to make sense of the senseless slaughter , and who found it in that picture and those soldiers . All of this is interesting subject matter for a movie , and certainly relevant as we find our country embroiled in a much more senseless military conflict , but Eastwood directs with sledgehammer obviousness , and the screenplay lectures and preaches what it should be letting us take away for ourselves . The movie makes the point that there is no clear good and bad when it comes to war , despite the desire of the average citizen to have it so , but the movie itself is very black and white in examining the issue . All of the soldiers are noble and good and true ; all of the war mongers are crass , insensitive buffoons . I'm almost tempted to believe that Steven Spielberg , who served as producer on this , helped direct it - - it has his overly earnest fingerprints all over it . I'm cooling in my regard to Clint Eastwood as a filmmaker . Each movie he's made since " Million Dollar Baby " has come attached with such sombre self importance that any engaging film-making gets buried under good intentions . The only remarkable thing about his Iwo Jima films is that a mainstream director so warmly embraced by the conservative faction of Hollywood studio production made two such high-profile films that cast such a critical eye on a war America likes to think was an unequivocal military and moral victory . But the films themselves , especially this one , are not deserving of the praise that's been heaped upon them . |
573,876 | 4,532,636 | 342,167 | 5 | Fame Without the Brain | If watching a bunch of high-strung theatre star wannabes prancing around and hissing at one another is what you're in the mood for , " Camp " is made to order . I happened to be in the mood for it , but even so found that it tested my patience . For one thing , it's way too long for its subject matter . For another thing , it's all over the place as far as plot goes , with no dramatic center to anchor the story . O . k . , I wasn't expecting " Citizen Kane , " ( hell , I wasn't even expecting " Legally Blonde " ) , but I do like my movies to be written with a modicum of competency . " Camp " flounders from one scene to the next , sort of focusing on three principal characters but not really even doing that , climaxing in a flashy dance number that looks like the final scene from " All That Jazz " mixed with an episode of " Star Search . " What this movie is good for , however , are the musical numbers . Seeing teenagers belt out songs from " Follies " and " Company " is admittedly fun . And there are some life-affirming lessons about being true to yourself , etc . , but these are even more diluted than your average after-school special . There are worse ways to spend a couple of hours , but you might want to consider re-watching " Fame " instead . |
574,428 | 4,532,636 | 70,239 | 5 | Can You Please Stop Singing ? We're Trying to Have the Last Supper Here . . . . . | Andrew Llod Webber's kitchsy musical about the last days of Christ is given a rather limp screen treatment by director Norman Jewison , who never found a story he couldn't pound the life out of . One doesn't watch ALW musicals for their dramatic depth in the first place , so it was a mistake to dilute whatever dramatic significance there was to this story by using a framing device showing a group of hippies arrive in the desert to put on a show about the last days of Christ . Was this a Hollywood capitulation to the controversy that stormed around the musical's Broadway opening ? Probably , but one wishes the filmmakers had had the balls to stick to their guns . What one DOES watch ALW musicals for is the music , and " Jesus Christ Superstar " boasts one of his best scores . It sounds hopelessly dated here , but I kind of like the twangy 70s sound ; it fits the material . A handful of unknowns star , and none of them has much screen presence . However , I did have the opportunity to see a stage version of this not so long ago in Chicago that starred the film Jesus and Judas , Ted Neely and Carl Lewis , along with Irene Carra as Mary Magdalene and former Styx lead singer Dennis DeYoung as Pontius Pilate , and it was one of the best stage shows I've ever seen . |
574,321 | 4,532,636 | 68,555 | 5 | Maybe the Only Film in History to Feature a Giant Rampaging Boob ? | Woody Allen's two previous films , " Take the Money and Run " and " Bananas , " had comedy-skit feels to them already , and in " Everything You Always Wanted to Know . . . . " he borrows even the comedy-skit format and breaks this film into several independent vignettes , each revolving around the topic of sex . Like any variety show , some of these skits are funnier than others ; the movie overall is pretty uneven , and isn't one of Allen's best efforts . My favorite skits were those depicting Allen himself as a neurotic sperm nervous about the voyage ahead , and a mad scientist spoof in which a giant breast escapes the laboratory and terrorizes a countryside , captured only when the townspeople manufacture a giant bra to catch it . |
573,664 | 4,532,636 | 380,599 | 5 | Missing the Polanski Touch | If you love " Oliver Twist " and want nothing more than a very straightforward retelling of the Dickens classic , you will be well served by this movie . If , however , you approach this because you're interested in what one of cinema's most interesting and accomplished directors will do with the subject matter , you may just be disappointed , as I was . This is a faithful but uninspired , and ultimately unnecessary , version of the story . Polanski's heart is in the right place , and one suspects that he LOVES this tale and didn't want to tamper with it . Fair enough . But if he loves it , he did it a disservice by removing so many of the elements that make Dickens ' stories so engaging . If nothing else , the characters should jump right off the screen in vivid and lively detail . However , Polanski manages to make all of them fade into the background and not one of them is memorable . Ben Kingsley's Fagin should be front and center ; ultimately , he's the one whom Dickens ' novel is about . It's Fagin that grows throughout the course of the story ; the moral arc of the tale rests on him . It's the opposition within Fagin between being a loyal father figure to his rag-tag bunch of boys and looking out for his own self interest that makes all of the action so interesting . But here , Fagin is relegated to a supporting role , and it doesn't feel like he has much impact on the story . Ditto Nancy . She emerged as a bawdy , vivacious life force in the novel . She was the mother figure to Fagin's boys and there was a burst of energy and fresh air whenever she entered the picture . In the movie , it's never made clear how large a role Nancy plays in the boys ' lives , so there's no real feeling of loss when she's gone . Here , the main character becomes Oliver , and that's Polanski's biggest mistake . In the novel Oliver Twist is a blank slate ; he only exists to give us a window into all of these situations and characters . He just lets things happen to him . In this regard , Polanski remains faithful , but he never should have made Oliver the true focus of his film . The movie looks great . It's dripping with period detail , and that alone makes it worth watching . It's also got a great atmospheric score by Rachel Portman . However , the visual design cannot make up for the tepid storytelling . |
574,386 | 4,532,636 | 95,270 | 5 | A Junky , Clunky Movie That at Least Left the Door Open for a Good Remake | John Waters acolytes will hate me for this , but I saw the recent movie musical version of " Hairspray " before I saw Waters ' original , and I couldn't get over the feeling that the original fails in comparison . Ricki Lake does not have what it takes to play Tracy Turnblad , the chubby girl with the big hair who lands a spot on a teen dance show and becomes a Baltimore sensation . Tracy should be so engaging and lovable that no one can help but root for her , and Lake is definitely not that girl . It doesn't help that the rest of the cast acts like they're reading their lines off of cue cards , or that Waters lost all ability ( or interest ) in bringing his movie to a coherent conclusion . It's like Waters sets out to make his film too weird for the mainstream , but the directing and acting are too pedestrian to elevate it to the level of camp . So by the end it's just sort of boring . I'm vaguely turned off by John Waters movies . They're always so cheap looking and lazily directed , like no one , not Waters , the actors or the film artists , could be bothered to take anything very seriously . My question is : why should I expend the energy in watching this movie if the people who made it weren't even interested in the project to begin with ? |
573,436 | 4,532,636 | 23,775 | 5 | Pre-Code Stanwyck Sleeps Her Way to the Top | This notoriously racy pre-Code film stars a gorgeous and sexy Barbara Stanwyck as a young girl from the wrong side of the tracks who moves to the big city and uses her " feminine ways " to keep herself in furs and jewels . Within the film's first fifteen minutes , Stanwyck's father has tried to pimp her to a frequenter of his speak easy , and a shoe cobbler and friend of the family ( and closest thing to a father figure she has ) has delivered a speech about how she should use men to get what she wants . Taking his advice , she hops the rails with her black maid , and gets to try out her newly found technique for the first time on a railway worker who threatens to turn them over to the police . Aside from the film's general frankness about sex as a means to an end , this is perhaps the most shocking single scene in the film . Stanwyck , in extreme close up and for the first in what ends up being about 30 times over the course of the film , says " Why don't we talk this over ? " , the railway worker , looking grizzled and horny , looks her up and down and moves closer , the black maid smirks and takes herself off into the corner , and a pair of gloves dropped to the floor clearly indicates what's going on just outside the frame . If you're looking for jaw-dropping content on a par with other notorious pre-Code films like , say , " The Sign of the Cross " ( I haven't yet seen anything quite like that movie in all my years of watching films ) you may be disappointed , as this is about as racy as " Baby Face " gets . But even so , it's obvious why the enforcers of the Code freaked out and demanded that much of this film be recut . The rest of the movie sees Stanwyck quickly making her way through the various bigwigs in a hot-shot company , and soon men are shooting themselves over her . It's all pretty silly , and if it were not for its racy reputation , it would be a pretty forgettable film , but it does offer a sleazy kind of fun . By the way , I love this film's tagline : " She made her way up the corporate ladder , wrong by wrong ! " That should give you some indication of what you're in for . |
573,561 | 4,532,636 | 61,177 | 5 | A Humorous Experiment , But That's About It | Before he worked up the courage to grab directorial reigns himself , Woody Allen produced this curio that will be entertaining to anyone who's stayed up until 2 : 00 am making fun of bad movies that seem manufactured specifically for air time during the wee hours . The format won't seem fresh to anyone who watches " Mystery Science Theater , " but for the time I imagine this film struck people as giddy and inspired . Allen takes an existing Japanese film and lays his own jokey , kooky soundtrack over it . It's like a feature-length version of the " film dub " game played on " Whose Line Is It Anyway ? " in which the players make up dialogue for random , obscure movie scenes . You might find yourself tiring of " Tiger Lily " before it's over - - luckily it's not an exercise Allen felt compelled to repeat , and it never took hold as a sub-genre of its own . Some of it made me chuckle , much of it fell flat , and any substantial memory of the film vanished from my head five minutes after ending . |
573,746 | 4,532,636 | 89,755 | 5 | Classy and Boring | A tasteful and oh-so-dull film about writer Isak Dinesen and her love affair with a big-game hunter in the wilds of Africa . Sydney Pollack clearly wanted to win Oscars with this one , so that most vile of vile movie terms - - prestige - - is dripping from every frame . Well , he won his bookcase full of Oscars , but the result is a movie that looks better in stills than it does running across your television screen . Who knew that you could make something like syphilis look glossy ? Meryl Streep acts up a storm as usual , and practically leaves tire marks over poor Robert Redford , who simply can't keep up with her . Any movie with her in it is worth watching , but give me Pollack's less prestigious but far more entertaining " Tootsie " any day . |
573,924 | 4,532,636 | 328,589 | 5 | Saved By Diane Lane | Diane Lane is a fascinating actress to watch . Her face is always doing something interesting , and she has a winning , winsome quality to her that makes you automatically root for her . She takes the role she's given here and actually does things with it that other actresses probably couldn't . Otherwise , this film is the visual equivalent of Diet Soda : canned , bland and full of sugar . It should appeal to the Oprah crowd or people who love reality shows about people's homes being remodeled . It's harmless enough , but it has that sort of lazy , vapid quality that makes you wonder why anybody thought it was really worth turning into a movie in the first place . |
573,388 | 4,532,636 | 105,323 | 5 | Pacino's Oscar Bait | You can tell that Al Pacino was determined not to let the 8th chance of an Oscar pass him by , so he throws everything he's got at the Academy voters in this hammy performance as a cranky , blind veteran . Chris O'Donnell gives a blank-faced performance as the preppy college student who's paid to care for the blind dude for the day , but boy doesn't he get more than he bargained for , and isn't Pacino's irascible geezer a hoot as he shows O'Donnell a good time ? Why director Martin Brest needed two-and-a-half-hours to tell a story that could have made a half-hour sitcom is beyond me . Oh and guess what . . . . . Pacino won his Oscar . Michael Corleone is turning over in his grave . . . . |
573,772 | 4,532,636 | 65,528 | 5 | Too Literal and Not Anarchic Enough | Mike Nichols tries for a literal interpretation of Joseph Heller's amazing epic comedy , and the results crash and burn . " Catch-22 " the book is , of course , unfilmable as it is . A movie version would have to be 12 hours long just to fit in all the characters and plots , but there would still remain the daunting task of finding a visual language that approximates Heller's surrealist , hilarious , nightmarish authorial voice . The best any movie could shoot for with a screen adaptation would be to capture the tone of Heller's novel , and that's where Nichols fails most . His " Catch-22 " tries to impose a linear , logical structure on a novel whose very point is the utter insanity of war . Therefore , the movie feels like a series of underdeveloped episodes that don't relate to one another , and characters that live on the page in almost three-dimensional detail are relegated to a mere minute or so of screen time each in the movie . I can't stand it when people rip movies apart by saying that they're not as good as the books on which they're based . Movies and books are completely different mediums and require completely different kinds of artistry . And I think it's possible to do a screen version of " Catch-22 " that would retain everything that is wonderful about the book while bringing to it the unique additions of cinema . But Nichols ' film isn't that version . I wonder what Robert Altman could have done with " Catch-22 " if he'd ever taken a crack at it . His goofball , anarchic and cynical directorial voice would have been perfectly suited to Heller's novel . I've always thought that " MASH , " the Altman film released the same year as " Catch-22 , " was more like the Joseph Heller novel than the film actually based on it . |
573,831 | 4,532,636 | 72,308 | 5 | Disaster Strikes Again | Just when you thought disaster films couldn't get any dumber than " The Poseidon Adventure " ( 1972 ) , " The Towering Inferno " comes along and proves that anything's possible . ( And if you think this movie is dumb , check out " Earthquake " from the same year ) . Steve McQueen , Faye Dunaway , Paul Newman , William Holden , Fred Astaire and Jennifer Jones ( holy crap , what a cast ! ) are the A-list actors who prostitute themselves in this one . O . J . Simpson , in his pre-murder years , pops up here and there to prove how little he can act , and Richard Chamberlain is the arch villain and is on hand to thoroughly creep me out . Astaire does a little jig , McQueen uses his manly squint to good effect and everyone else squeals in terror as they fight to save themselves from a flaming office tower . The sets and costumes look like someone's nightmare version of a 1970s prom and a warbly love song written expressly to win an Oscar ( which it did ) blares away on the soundtrack . The last time I saw this film was long before - - watching a bunch of people trapped in the top floors of a collapsing skyscraper may not be as much fun now as it once was . |
574,016 | 4,532,636 | 858,479 | 5 | A Movie About Smart Dumb People and Dumb Smart People | With a title like " Smart People , " you just know there's a lesson to be learned in this movie , and that it probably has something to do with people who think they're smarter than they are . Those people are Dennis Quaid , a tiresome boor of a college lit professor who nobody likes , and his equally tiresome and snarky daughter , played by Ellen Page as a young Republican version of Juno . These two pompous asses make snap judgements about everybody and think nobody's worth wasting the time to interact with . Of course , in both cases , the characters are making up for insecure deficiencies , brought about mostly by the death of their wife and mother . The dumb people who end up being smarter than the smart people are Thomas Haden Church , as a loaf of an adopted brother who has a fondness for laying around with his bare ass waving in the wind ; and Sarah Jessica Parker , as an emergency room doctor and former student of Quaid's who strikes up a romance with him . O . k . , so she was pretty smart to begin with , but not in the way that Quaid and Page think she should be . . . . you get the point . What does all of this add up to , you ask ? A movie that I had forgotten about as soon as I stowed away my half-eaten box of Junior Mints and began strolling toward the exit . " Smart People " isn't a bad movie , but it's an awfully inconsequential one . It doesn't add up to anything , and that's o . k . - - some of the best movies are those that don't try to change the world . But a movie needs to have SOMETHING - - either a plot or characters to care about , one or two original ideas , a fancy style . This has none of these things . The plot is lazy and has a been-there-done-that quality to it . It just sort of meanders along until it reaches a hastily-realized happy ending . Paradoxically , though there are really only four main characters , I felt like none of the actors had enough screen time to really flesh their characters out . Or more precisely , they didn't have good enough material to make use of the screen time they were given . Poor Thomas Haden Church gets the worst of this . On paper , it would appear that his brother / uncle character is important to the story , but the way it plays out , it feels like Church showed up on the set one day and everyone scrambled around to find stuff for him to do . His character doesn't feel at all integrated into the movie , even though he's the one we'd rather be spending our time with . " Smart People " feels like what it probably is : a movie about a very specific milieu that either the writer or director ( or both ) have direct and personal experience with , but that they unsuccessfully translated into a universal story that anyone could appreciate . I was on a business trip and had nothing else to do , so I was able to just go with the flow and moderately enjoy this movie , but a must-see it most certainly isn't . |
573,934 | 4,532,636 | 109,446 | 5 | Meh , Whatever | Ho-hum screen adaptation of yet another John Grisham pot boiler . Joel Schumacher is pretty much my least favorite director of all time , and Grisham represents the kind of author whose books instantly give me a hankering for classic literature , so the chances that I was really going to think much of this film were slim from the get go . Good actors like Susan Sarandon and Tommy Lee Jones put a lot of effort into the material and give committed performances . But with Schumacher at the helm , trying to make a good movie is like trying to walk up a down escalator . Sarandon was inexplicably nominated for a Best Actress Academy Award for her work , more an indication of how weak a year 1994 was for actresses than how good her work in this film is . |
574,411 | 4,532,636 | 47,203 | 5 | Too Much Even for a Sirk Fan | I like Douglas Sirk movies , and I find the genre of 1950s melodramas fascinating , but even I had trouble stomaching this giant cornball of a movie . Jane Wyman plays the widow of a respected doctor , who dies because a piece of machinery needed to resuscitate him is being used on a nearby accident victim , a spoiled rich playboy ( Rock Hudson ) who was goofing around in his speedboat . Later , when trying to make amends with the widow , this same playboy causes another accident which makes her go blind . Having thoroughly ruined this woman's life , he decides to devote himself to a higher calling and becomes a doctor , and guess what happens at the end ? I don't think it's any spoiler to say that he operates on the widow and miraculously cures her . Not being a religious person myself , I found the heavy-handed treatment of faith too much to bear . And the reason I like other Sirk movies is that they always have a subversive element of social commentary to them , like he's slyly criticizing the very people he was making movies for . But that's lacking here . This is melodrama served straight up , without a wink of irony . Otto Kruger plays an old friend of the deceased doctor who coaches Hudson toward doing something with his life - - Sirk couldn't have made it clearer that he's meant to evoke the image of an angel sent from heaven ( Beethoven's " Ode to Joy " plays on the soundtrack pretty much every time he makes an appearance ) . And character actress warhorse Agnes Moorehead gets saddled with a thankless role as Wyman's spinster nurse . |
574,354 | 4,532,636 | 96,061 | 5 | Yes , It's Another Version of " A Christmas Carol " | Yet another version of " A Christmas Carol , " this one set in the present day and starring Bill Murray as a self-absorbed television producer . Though another version of the classic story probably wasn't really necessary , this one is entertaining enough if you're looking to kill a couple of hours on the sofa . The funniest moments come not from the main action , but rather from glimpses of the kinds of terrible shows Murray's producer character is responsible for putting on the screen . Featuring some ghoulish makeup effects that won the film its sole Academy Award nomination . |
573,326 | 4,532,636 | 32,155 | 5 | As Dry as a Civics Lesson | It's admittedly been a long time since I've seen " Young Mr . Lincoln , " but I recall that it plays more as an educational film you'd show in a civics class than as an engaging film . There was no one better to play Lincoln than Henry Fonda , with his willowy frame and haunted eyes . But director John Ford seems too intent on myth making to manufacture a drama that we care about . It's hard to have an emotional reaction to a myth . This film feels decidedly stoic and ponderous , showcasing none of the fluidity and crispness that Ford's own " Stagecoach , " released the same year , has . Rather dreary and dull . |
574,406 | 4,532,636 | 85,244 | 5 | The Midlife Crises of Ordinary People | Nothing is more boring to me than any movie or book about someone else's midlife crisis , and " The Big Chill " is about nothing but a bunch of privileged baby boomers in the middle of them . The big cast features all sorts of actors who would go on to become big stars of the 1980s and beyond : Glenn Close , William Hurt , Kevin Kline , Tom Berenger , Jeff Goldblum . There's no denying the chemistry between these fine actors , but the whole movie feels whiny and self-indulgent . I sense that it may be one of those films that you have to be the right age to appreciate . After all , I was all of eight years old when it came out , and saw it while I was still in college . Actually , it was aimed squarely at people who in 1983 were about the age I am now , so maybe I should revisit it . |
574,050 | 4,532,636 | 43,278 | 5 | Kelly Provides the Dance . . . But What About the Rest ? | Gene Kelly was so interested in putting groundbreaking dance on screen in this 1951 musical extravaganza that he forgot to include a story or characters while he was at it . The " Gotta Dance " fantasy ballet sequence in " Singin ' in the Rain " is considered by many to be the only thing wrong with that movie ; the entire running time of " An American in Paris " feels like that ballet . Gene Kelly runs amok , and the result is colorful but tiresome when stretched out to this length . It doesn't help matters any that " Rain " had the perky Debbie Reynolds and comic antics of Donald O'Connor , while " Paris " has , well , Leslie Caron . This little gamine is as bland as an unsalted pretzel , and I just simply didn't care a whiff about her or Kelly or whether they were going to get it on or not . Some memorable musical numbers distinguish this film , but I think people are wrong to consider it Gene Kelly's choreographic masterpiece . |
574,103 | 4,532,636 | 91,763 | 5 | The First of Many Oliver Stone Onslaughts | So began the string of films with which Oliver Stone would assault our senses and earn him some of the most undeserved accolades in film history . " Platoon " is probably one of his stronger films , but it doesn't hold up well . At the time , it was notable for its authenticity in depicting the life of a Vietnam grunt , and I certainly want to be sensitive to anyone who served in Vietnam and has an appreciation for this movie because of it . But the movie itself is hopelessly overwrought and reeks of Stone's sledgehammer style of film-making . He can't allow emotions to speak for themselves , so he asks slow motion shots and thundering music to do the work instead . And there was enough material for a movie about Vietnam already without his having to concoct the ridiculous rivalry plot he cooks up for Tom Berenger and Willem Dafoe to play out , both of them seemingly transplanted straight from the jungles of " Apocalypse Now " . Every time I hear that classical composition that plays over and over and over in this film I want to jab a fork into my eye . |
573,775 | 4,532,636 | 427,969 | 5 | A Rather Dull Disappointment | This slightly dreary film about the mysterious death of George Reeves , television's " Superman , " and its subsequent investigation feels like an opportunity missed to put a compelling and engaging story on the screen . The pacing is too sluggish and the ambitious screenplay too muddled for the film to ever come fully alive . It doesn't help that the central role , that of Louis Simo , the down-on-his-luck private investigator who consumes himself with Reeves ' murder in an attempt to win himself some needed publicity and fame , is woefully miscast . Adrien Brody is not at all right for the role of Simo . At one point in the film , one of his ex-colleagues makes a crack about there only being room in the world for one Ralph Meeker , an unfortunate line because it only draws attention to the fact that Brody has nowhere near the physical presence to pull off a tough-guy attitude like the one he's asked to pull off here . He's so young-looking and so slight in build that he comes across more like a scruffy high-schooler than he does a toughened and bitter detective . We see him become obsessed with the Reeves case at the expense of his personal life - - he's estranged from his wife ( I'm not sure if they are divorced or merely separated ) and his young son , and his girlfriend is cheating on him - - and he convinces himself and tries to convince everyone around him that Reeves was killed when the death was labeled by the LAPD as a suicide . Throughout the film , we see various versions of Reeves ' death played out in Simo's head as new evidence leads him down different paths toward different theories . But this investigation never picks up steam . The screenplay is torn between following Simo and his personal demons and Reeves and his . Much of the film is devoted to showing the rise and fall of Reeves ' career , and the movie can't ever decide whether it's more interested in him or Simo . In the end , I think we're supposed to feel that the two men shared something in common , and that Simo's personal downward spiral gives him a privileged peek into the mind of Reeves . He finally comes to see how the suicide angle could be true , and that , though all of the conspiracy theories he's shuffled around in his head make for better headlines , the real story might be something as simple as the hopelessness of one washed up actor . But the moment of this revelation is not clear and the connection between the two men isn't given enough focus or impact , so the audience is left holding two halves of a movie that don't completely fit together . Ben Affleck plays George Reeves and does a serviceable enough job . He gives probably the best performance in the film , thought it's not a film filled with great acting . Diane Lane plays Mrs . Mannix , wife of studio head Eddie Mannix ( Bob Hoskins ) and sugar momma to Reeves . Lane gives a mannered performance , and plays a rich pampered studio wife the way a college actress might play her . It doesn't help that the role as written flails all over the place . Hoskins makes little impression in his brief screen time . The thing I disliked most about " Hollywoodland " was the awkward blending of reality and fiction . Because certain moments take place exclusively in Simo's head , I wasn't always sure what was actually happening and what he was imagining , and in this case I didn't feel that the effect was intentional . The most egregious example of this comes during a scene when Reeves is performing for a group of children as Superman , and a small boy comes up to him with a real loaded gun and asks if he can shoot him . The way the scene is filmed and edited , it seems to be something Simo is either imagining or dreaming , but later on Reeves himself makes reference to the incident . How the situation played out , or how the little boy managed to get his hands on a loaded gun in the first place , is never explained . A disappointing film . |
574,348 | 4,532,636 | 32,194 | 5 | Too Much of a Not Very Good Thing | A very long and very boring soap opera that finds Bette Davis taking care of Charles Boyer's children , much to the disapproval of Boyer's wife , played as a shrill harridan by Barbara O'Neil ( most known to me as the mother of Scarlett O'Hara in the previous year's " Gone with the Wind " ) . Though set in France , the film could be taking place anywhere as far as the actors and filmmakers are concerned . Authenticity is pretty much an afterthought - - Davis attempts something resembling a French accent , but the result is an oddly stilted and clipped way of talking ; O'Neil doesn't attempt an accent at all . And the four children ( one of them Virginia Weidman , who played Dinah in " The Philadelphia Story " ) could be straight off the farms of Nebraska . Davis is asked to be reserved and gentle , which is never as fun as when she's playing a character that gets to let loose . The story just goes on and on long past the point where you really care about what happens , and it doesn't help that the framing device - - which finds Davis relating the story as a flashback to a group of students - - removes any suspense surrounding how things will turn out . Anatole Litvak directs with no discernible style whatsoever , and Max Steiner provides a score that never quits . The melodrama is ladled on like maple syrup , and some of it is just as sickly sweet . |
574,202 | 4,532,636 | 60,921 | 5 | The Russians Are Coming . . . . . Wake Me Up When They're Gone | One of those epic all-star comedies in the " It's a Mad Mad , etc . " vein , with a bunch of rushing around and chaotic blundering that's supposed to tickle us with how funny it all is . Well , it's not very funny , or at least I didn't think so , and the fact that it was taken seriously enough to snag four Academy Award nominations ( let alone one for Best Picture ) mystifies me . Featuring a bunch of recognizable stars who have all done much better elsewhere , like Carl Reiner , Theodore Bikel , Brian Keith , Eva Marie Saint , Paul Ford and , most notably , Alan Arkin , who for what it's worth gives the film whatever chutzpah it has . |
573,732 | 4,532,636 | 67,992 | 5 | I Can't Forgive It for Not Being the Book | This version of the Roald Dahl classic has always weirded me out , and not in a good way . I don't like the way it looks - gangly and ugly - nor the liberties the screenwriters took with the book . I would borrow " Charlie and the Chocolate Factory " from my little grade school library , read it , and as soon as I got to the end of the last page go right back to the beginning and read it over again . It was imprinted on my wee young brain , and I simply cannot accept any deviation from it . Gene Wilder at least has fun with this , though he reminds me way too much of my loser ex-brother-in-law for comfort . The thing I remember most about this movie , as many others probably do as well , is the catchy anthem sung repeatedly by the Oompah Loompahs . |
574,507 | 4,532,636 | 113,627 | 5 | If Awards Were Given for Scenery Chewing , They'd Be Named for Nicolas Cage | A dismally depressing film about an alcoholic who travels to Las Vegas to drink himself to death and the hooker he shacks up with in his last days . I think writer / director Mike Figgis intends to amaze us with the film's frankness , but I was instead impressed by its ugliness . Nicolas Cage overacts to the gills ( big surprise there ) as the alcoholic , giving an even hammier performance than Ray Milland did in Billy Wilder's similarly-themed " The Lost Weekend . " Only Wilder's film was released fifty years before this one , so what is Cage's excuse ? Elisabeth Shue fairs better as the hooker , but has to endure some degrading directorial choices by Figgis , like enacting a love scene topless while Cage pours booze all over her boobs and then getting anally raped by a bunch of punks later in the film . The film is bleak , pointless and unpleasant . |
573,634 | 4,532,636 | 92,079 | 5 | This Isn't Life , It's Blake Edwards | This Blake Edwards movie is like all Blake Edwards movies . That means it's fairly lame , has no particular style by which to distinguish itself , and looks like it's been airbrushed . This one revolves around some mid-life crisis topics afflicting a middle-aged couple played by Jack Lemmon and Julie Andrews . Andrews is diagnosed with a tumor and spends the film waiting for test results ; Lemmon has the hots for Sally Kellerman ( who wouldn't ) and spends the movie dithering about it . Lemmon and Andrews are good actors , and they almost make the film worth watching , but only almost . |
574,316 | 4,532,636 | 452,624 | 5 | This Sure as Hell Ain't No " Casablanca " | A bit of a dud . This Steven Soderbergh experiment tries to recreate the tone and look of WWII cinema and all of those films noir that used the war as a backdrop for stories of foreign intrigue and dirty dealings . He films everything in crisp black and white and uses a square aspect ratio , the same ratio that films were shot in prior to the invention of CinemaScope . But the movie doesn't really work , because Soderbergh doesn't pay enough attention to telling his story . The whole film is sluggishly paced and the screenplay is muddled . I enjoyed the look of the film , but that only takes one so far . George Clooney looks bored in the role of our hero , a part Humphrey Bogart might have played back in the day , and Cate Blanchett gets the Marlene Dietrich role , complete with guttural German accent . Tobey Maguire is woefully miscast as an unbalanced American G . I . , and his death early into the film is rather welcome . Can anyone take Maguire seriously playing anything other than a pimply teenager ? Soderbergh doesn't take his experiment far enough . Too much of this film feels contemporary , like the acting styles and the profanity and violence that pepper the screenplay . Soderbergh even gets the opening titles wrong . Only Cate Blanchett , whose performance reminded me of Alida Valli's in " The Third Man , " and Thomas Newman , who blankets the entire film in an atmospheric score , succeed in truly working in the appropriate styles . Otherwise , we just get a modern-day movie filmed in black and white , and not even a very good movie , leaving one to wonder what exactly was the point of Soderbergh's exercise to begin with ? Intentionally paying homage to " Casablanca " at the film's finale serves only to highlight how far away from that movie this movie is . |
573,569 | 4,532,636 | 47,574 | 5 | Eh , So-So | A harmless enough movie , but at the same time without much to recommend it . " There's No Business Like Show Business " provides one of those backstage musical frameworks on which to hang countless flashy production numbers . The stars ( Ethel Merman , Marilyn Monroe , Donald O'Connor ) take back seat to the CinemaScope and Technicolor - - this was one of those films that Hollywood dutifully dragged out to convince everyone that movies were still better than that pesky competitor , television . Too bad that " Show Business " came out at a time when musicals based on Broadway shows - - which integrated plot and music in sophisticated ways - - were coming into vogue and making quaint little musicals like this seem antiquated . I'm not recommending it exactly , but you could do worse on a rainy day . |
573,643 | 4,532,636 | 89,173 | 5 | Some Hate It , But I Think It's the Best in the Series | That wily rascal Jason Voorhees is at it again . . . . or is he ? Yes , this is the installment in the interminable " Friday the 13th " series that thought it would be a good idea to do without its only reason for existence . . . the hockey-masked Jason . Though you hardly notice the loss , since you don't KNOW it's not Jason until the film's final moments , and the copycat killer dresses like Jason anyway , so what's the difference ? If you've seen one axe-wielding psycho in a hockey mask , you've seen them all . Actually , I kind of like this entry . It provides the best nudity of the series . . . . no fewer than three gratuitous boob shots , and nice boobs they are . And it's funny , sometimes intentionally so , as when the hillbilly mom calls her dufus son a dildo , sometimes unintentionally , as when the Michael Jackson look alike sings a duet with his girlfriend through an outhouse wall while he's on the crapper . And the filmmakers outdo themselves with the body count this time around . By the end of the movie , there's no longer time to show them being killed off . Characters you've completely forgotten about just pop up as dead bodies . But what do you expect with all that plot to get through ? Compared to the other films in the series , this is practically " War and Peace , " what with the murder mystery story and the Tommy Jarvis plot line , which attempts to add a sense of continuity to the middle batch of movies ( o . k . so Part 6 picks up Tommy's storyline in a completely different place and with a different actor , but for a series like this that's the best you can hope for in the way of consistency ) . |
574,097 | 4,532,636 | 92,099 | 5 | Tom Cruise Became a Star | Top Gun was to the 1980s what Jerry Bruckheimer movies are now : loud , dumb , uber-macho and slightly homoerotic . " Risky Business " had put Tom Cruise on the map , but it was probably this film that launched him into full-fledged stardom . Looking back now , he was obviously born to play this role , since it's not a far cry from his actual persona : a cocky jackass . Kelly McGillis , fresh off of " Witness , " also stars , though her character here is quite a bit removed from the strait-laced Amish mother she played in the earlier film . There's lots of footage of hot shot guys flying big jets really fast - - it's like a ramped up commercial for Gillette razors . |
574,207 | 4,532,636 | 50,839 | 5 | Hot and Bothered in Small-Town America | A hopelessly corny and stodgy piece of 1950s film-making that thinks racy subject matter alone makes it important . Well , it doesn't . " Peyton Place " is a static adaptation of a scandalous book , filled with a cast of females who all look the same - - as blonde and coiffed as the most stereotypical image of a 50s housewife . Of them , Hope Lange does the best with the material given her , playing a sweet kid with a lousy dad , who rapes and beats her in glorious Technicolor . Arthur Kennedy growls his way through the movie as said dad , providing it with some much-needed testosterone , even if that testosterone is somewhat misdirected . Also technically providing some male hormones to the film , though in much diluted form , is Russ Tamblyn , who plays a shy nerd smitten with the movie's narrator , played by Diane Varsi . And bringing the film its star voltage , Lana Turner delivers an imperious performance as an uptight mom , all pointy breasts and platinum blonde hair . " Peyton Place " supposedly takes place in the early 1940s , but you'd never know it from the film's production design . The clothes , hairstyles and saturated color are all pure 50s - - in fact , this movie is the kind of hokey 1950s melodrama that later films making fun of the 50s would parody . |
574,380 | 4,532,636 | 76,666 | 5 | Look Mr . Kotter , I Can Dance ! | It would be almost impossible to believe that John Travolta received an Academy Award nomination for this movie if the Academy didn't have a long history of nominating films and performances that left us scratching our heads at what they were thinking . Actually , Travolta's not bad in this movie ; if anything , he's absolutely the only reason to watch it now , because the movie itself just isn't very good . It's got groovy music , coiffed hair and 1970s disco atmosphere dripping from every frame , but it's primarily an excuse for a bunch of flashy dance numbers without the burden of stringing them together with anything resembling a real plot . It's hokey and harmless , but I can think of a thousand other movies off of the top of my head that would be more worth your time than this . |
574,491 | 4,532,636 | 102,798 | 5 | Men in Tights | Kevin Costner had worked hard the year before to cement his place in Hollywood as a serious director and actor , and nearly undid all of it with his embarrassing performance in this film . Though at the time I believe this film was a hit , so maybe the joke's on me . Costner can't hold on to his British accent for anything , and actually just gives up on it about 20 minutes into the movie , spending the rest of it talking like an American . Alan Rickman enlivens things through his performance as the villain and has the film's funniest scene , but the fact that that scene involves his attempts to rape Maid Marion should tell you something about the approach of director Kevin Reynolds . The whole thing is far more violent than it needs to be and way too long . " Robin Hood " should be a sprightly story , not this lead-footed thing . |
573,450 | 4,532,636 | 37,800 | 5 | Good Luck Getting the Theme Song Out of Your Head | I Know Where I'm Going ! is like other Powell and Pressburger films thematically : forces beyond the control of humans intervene and determine to a large extent the destiny of the heroine . But if you're expecting a dazzling , vivid and energetic film like " The Red Shoes " or " Black Narcissus , " you're bound to be disappointed by this one . I couldn't get into this movie at all . The filmmakers seemed unable to settle on a tone or mood , so I wasn't ever sure if I was watching a romantic comedy or a darker , more psychologically complex character study . Wendy Hiller is good in her role , but her character drove me over the edge . I couldn't stand her - - bad news for a movie in which she's in virtually every scene . And that theme song . . . . . UGH ! To this day I have moments where that awful song plays on a constant loop through my mind , over and over and over . I really like Powell and Pressburger over all , so I choose to see this movie as an anomaly in their body of work rather than representative of it . |
573,976 | 4,532,636 | 22,045 | 5 | Wacko Merry Melody | This bizarre cartoon short is more disturbing than anything . The animation is creepy , and the content is rather adult for the art form . A bunch of unidentifiable animals ( I know I saw a gorilla , and maybe some foxes ? ) drink it up until they're soused , and a grand finale consists of a horse exploding while a bunch of rowdy saloon customers dance around it maniacally . The songs are annoying , a quality not helped by the fact that they stick to your head like glue ( I caught myself humming one of them in the shower ) . If I had seen this come on the screen as a little kid , I probably would have wanted to crawl under my seat and hide . This is on the DVD release of " Little Caesar , " if you're interested in seeing it for yourself . |
574,145 | 4,532,636 | 51,459 | 5 | Cat Has No Claws | Yet another example of a 1950s stage to screen adaptation in which the entire reason for the play's existence is removed from the screen version in order to placate the censors . Why did people even want to make movies out of plays if they wanted to remove everything that made the plays interesting in the first place ? Without the homosexual subtext , " Cat on a Hot Tin Roof " isn't about very much except Paul Newman and Elizabeth Taylor disliking each other until they do a complete 180 and get it on in the film's final scene . I guess at the time the pairing of two hot actors was enough to get audiences into the theatres , but that's not good enough now . This is tepid and bland , with uninspired direction , and would make anyone wonder why this Tennessee Williams play is considered to be such a classic . There is one reason to see this film , though , and that's Burl Ives . Newman and Taylor fade into the background , and the movie becomes the story of Ives ' Big Daddy , who gives a fascinating , bellicose performance as a dying patriarch , desperately in need of a worthy heir to carry on his legacy . With this and " The Big Country , " released the same year , Ives had perhaps the best 1958 of any other actor working at the time . |
573,812 | 4,532,636 | 90,319 | 5 | Say You , Say Me , Say Cold War Tension | One of many films from the 1980s that used the U . S . - Soviet tension of the time as an excuse to put all manner of hokum up on the movie screens . Mikhail Baryshnikov and Gregory Hines come away relatively unscathed from this movie . Both are in it solely for their dancing abilities , and really that's the whole reason for the film's existence , that and the opportunity to give us not one but two smash hit songs to perform at that year's Oscar ceremony . Featuring Helen Mirren , before anyone knew who Helen Mirren was , and Geralding Page , who would win an Oscar that year for " The Trip to Bountiful . " |
573,910 | 4,532,636 | 395,495 | 5 | A Lame Effort , Partially Saved by Juliette Lewis | Is there a production company somewhere that specializes in churning out the kind of banal , unoffensive films that are frequently used as in-flight movies , and if so , is it responsible for this film ? A flight from London to Chicago happens to be where I saw this movie , and even with absolutely nothing else to do or distract me , I had trouble staying with it . " Catch and Release " isn't bad . It's too safe to be bad . Rather , it's painfully uninspired . It's the kind of movie you simply can't imagine anyone getting up the energy to make . Was there really a screen writer out there who thought this story needed desperately to be told , and actually went to the trouble to tell it ? Was there really a director who decided he had to bring this story to the screen , a cinematographer who put effort into planning shots ? Did any of the actors read this script and think it was a project they simply had to be involved with ? Apparently , because we have the movie itself as proof that at least someone thought it was worth brining to audiences . And there are decent things about it , notably Juliette Lewis , who gives a delightful performance as a new-age hippie struggling with motherhood , who makes you wish the movie was about her every time she appears on screen . Jennifer Garner , who the movie is supposed to be about , fades into the background , because neither she as an actress nor the character as written is capable of drawing our attention to herself . The script is too timid to allow any dramatic conflict to last more than a couple of scenes , so loose ends are neatly tied up with assembly-line efficiency . This is film-making at its most disposable . |
574,301 | 4,532,636 | 498,399 | 5 | Gloomy Film Has No Real Reason for Existing | An unmitigated gloomy pall has settled on Hollywood this fall . Apparently , a message went out to all filmmakers that every movie released from now through the foreseeable future must be sombre , gray and depressing . Well " We Own the Night " certainly does nothing to buck the trend . This tale of two brothers on opposite sides of the law - - one a cop , one a nightclub owner - - has a been there , done that quality to it , and despite its not being necessarily a bad movie , simply has no reason for existing . It doesn't have anything new to say beyond things like drugs are bad and being a cop is dangerous . It felt like a waste of my time and money . Joaquin Phoenix is quickly becoming an actor that I despise . He's so unappealing to me , both in looks and in acting style , that I actually get physically uncomfortable watching him . Looking pasty and puffy , he gives a bleary and mumbling performance as the wayward son whose nightclub harbors drug lords and members of organized crime syndicates . Mark Wahlberg , as the cop brother , isn't in the movie much , and when he is he reprises his tough-guy role from " The Departed . " Robert Duvall , as the police chief proud of his upright son and embarrassed by his other , is merely grumpy . The movie starts in a burst of sound and energy , but that energy quickly dissipates , and everyone ( including the movie ) gradually descends into a funk . Director James Gray treats the material as if it has all the import of a Shakespearean tragedy , but the screenplay lets him down . The relationship between the two brothers never really comes alive , and there's not enough emotional investment in any of the characters to make the end mean anything . And that ending , to top it all off , felt distinctly dishonest and implausible to me . |
573,989 | 4,532,636 | 36,230 | 5 | Old Acquaintance Feels Old Hat | I didn't much like this Bette Davis women's picture from 1943 . It starts out promisingly enough , with Davis as a successful writer paying a visit to childhood friend Miriam Hopkins . Always competitive , Hopkins decides she wants to be a writer too , and finds tremendous success writing popular entertainments while Davis struggles to find an audience for her more artistic endeavors . If the film had continued to examine the relationship between these two artist friends , it might have been engaging . However , it instead goes off on a bunch of standard-issue romantic tangents , all of it the stuff of dull soap opera , none of it very interesting , that feels like a hundred other movies you've seen before from the same time period . Davis gives one of her best performances up to a point , until the material abandons her . The less said about Hopkins ' hysterically unfunny performance , the better . |
573,370 | 4,532,636 | 133,152 | 5 | Just Not the Same Without Charlton Heston in a Loincloth | Tim Burton takes a disappointingly literal approach to remaking the 1968 cult classic , and what he gives us is an undistinguished action film , not necessarily worse than any number of action films produced in a given year , but so much worse than it could have been given the source material and Burton's fierce imagination . Tim Roth is the standout among the simian characters - - he actually scared the crap out of me . The shock ending to the original was so well known that Burton knew he had to come up with something different , and to tell you the truth I can't even remember what it was ; that might give you an indication as to how effective it was . The opening credit sequence is this film's high point , and it all goes downhill from there . |
574,035 | 4,532,636 | 379,865 | 5 | Makes You Wish This Had Actually Been a Screwball Comedy from the 30s with Different Actors | George Clooney was clearly trying for screwball nostalgia with this sports comedy , but what he actually put together sits on the screen like a lump of lead . Clooney stars as a professional football player back in the days ( 1920s ) when no one cared much for professional football . As an attempt to bring some attention and fans to the sport , he cajoles a popular war hero and college football star ( college football happens to be the rage ) to go pro . Eventually , the two become rivals when the college star transfers to an opposing team . Meanwhile , the editor of a newspaper learns that the war hero's story is a fraud , and sends out a feisty reporter ( Renee Zellweger ) to expose him . All of these ingredients are meant to mix into an antic romp , and Clooney , Zellweger and John Krasinski ( who plays the war hero ) try their damnedest to be madcap , mugging shamelessly at the camera at every opportunity . But the movie grinds along painfully , and you can practically see the sweat beading on the actors ' brows as they work overtime to make the material funny . Krasinski is miscast as an all-American war hero ; there's something a little too bookish and dopey about him to make him believable . And Clooney and Zellweger have absolutely no romantic chemistry - - they're given roles that , say , Gary Cooper and Barbara Stanwyck would have played if this were a screwball comedy from the 1930s , but they work up no heat and deliver almost no laughs . No expense was spared on the period look of the film , and Randy Newman for once provides a tolerable and playful score , but everything else about the film is a dud . |
573,307 | 4,532,636 | 79,261 | 5 | This Age of Aquarius Came About Ten Years Too Late | Hollywood ignored the fact that the cult classic musical was virtually unfilmable ( not to mention the fact that by 1979 it was already outdated ) and made it into a movie anyway . The results are predictably mixed . It's not a disaster , but it's no classic . It suffers from having a strong narrative forced on it , whereas the stage version felt organic and like it was being made up as the actors went along . The music sounds pretty good , but the whole movie has the taint of the unnecessary . Treat Williams is pretty good , and Nell Carter shows up in a cameo and knocks one out of the park with the " White Boys / Black Boys " number . Milos Forman ( of all people ) directed . |
574,042 | 4,532,636 | 959,337 | 5 | Everything This Movie Has to Say Has Been Said Before and Said Better | The subject of suburban misery and malaise , and the myth of the American dream , has been dealt with so frequently in movies , television and literature that you may wonder what more there is to say about the topic . If " Revolutionary Road " is any example , the answer is : not much . Indeed , the whole time I was watching this strangely insubstantial film from director Sam Mendes , the only thing I could think of were all the other movies I've seen that have dealt with the same themes and dealt with them better . Frank and April Wheeler are the miserably married couple at the center of this story . Frank , played by Leonardo DiCaprio , goes off to work in a featureless anthill of a company , diddling the occasional office girl on the side . April stays home and frets over the acting career that never materialized for her and rebelling against the stifling sameness of suburbia that she feels she's better than . Most of the film consists of monotonous scenes of these two screaming at each other . I guess it's meant to be a sort of modern-day " Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf ? " , the story of a married couple who could be helping one another but instead decide to tear each other apart , except that the material isn't nearly as interesting as Edward Albee's play , and neither are the characters . For " Revolutionary Road " to work , we have to really understand why April is so unhappy , and that's something the film doesn't tell us . Kate Winselt tries awfully hard , but she can't make much of this rather unlikable character . She didn't have my sympathy because I never understood her problem . I understand suburban unhappiness in general , but I didn't understand it as presented here . DiCaprio has the easier time of it , because Frank it turns out isn't all that unhappy with his life , and pretends to be so largely for April's benefit . The film doesn't establish much about these two before they met or about the early days of their marriage . We're supposed to feel emotions about them in a vacuum without any context . I didn't feel anything . There's not much relief from DiCaprio and Winslet , as one or the other is in virtually every frame of the movie . There are a couple of recognizable actors in supporting roles , namely Kathy Bates as a real estate agent friend and Michael Shannon as her bonkers son . This character is wedged awkwardly into the narrative as the movie's id , shouting out truths everyone else is trying to avoid having to admit , but Shannon's performance is over the top and I didn't know what I was supposed to make of him . With wonderful films like " Far from Heaven , " " The Hours , " " All That Heaven Allows " and " Little Children " ( which stars Winslet in a stunning turn , no less ) and the cable series " Mad Men " exploring the same themes as " Revolutionary Road " but much more capably , there's really no reason to waste your time or money on this gloomy , depressing movie that has nothing to say . It's not an awful movie , but at the same time it has very little to recommend it . |
573,586 | 4,532,636 | 82,846 | 5 | Wow ! What a Cast for a Lifetime Movie | A gloopy , mawkish family drama that asks three wonderful actors ( Henry Fonda , daughter Jane and Katharine Hepburn ) to deliver material that belongs on the Lifetime channel . Henry Fonda at least gets a character to work with , that of a curmudgeonly husband and father who's beginning to show the first ominous signs of senility . Any old actress could have played the role given to Katharine Hepburn , and poor Jane gets this film's short end of the stick , playing a bratty daughter who doesn't know how to connect to a dad that would rather have had a son . No worries though ; everything ends happily and Jane is finally able to do back flips off the pier at her parents ' lakeside home ( or whatever it is she ends up doing ) , a talent that bears the symbolic import of encapsulating all the ways she feels like a failure in her father's eyes . I doubt the movie would have been half as well received by the movie public had it not had the gimmick of a real-life father and daughter ( whose personal relationship was also known to be strained ) playing themselves and had the world not suspected that Henry Fonda wouldn't be around much longer . The world was right - - he would win an Oscar for this film and then promptly die . God knows the man deserved an Oscar , but not for this . And don't even get me started on Hepburn's win . . . . |
574,522 | 4,532,636 | 758,766 | 5 | Fairly Lame and Pretty Dull | The word " innocuous " was invented to describe movies like this . Hugh Grant plays an 80s pop star has-been who has the chance to write a song for a hip young music star and perform it with her at an upcoming concert at Madison Square Garden . The thing is , you see , he can only write catchy music , but he sucks at writing lyrics . If only someone could drop into his life out of nowhere with a knack for song-writing , all would be hunky-dory . Lo and behold , Drew Barrymore drops in , in the guise of a neurotic disaster who shows up to take care of his plants , and an unlikely song-writing duo is born . " Music and Lyrics " is so formulaic that even the actors seem bored with it . Of course Barrymore must be persuaded that she can write lyrics even though she swears that she can't . Of course the two must get in a fight and go their separate ways , only to get back together in time for a big finale . Of course , Grant must declare his love for Barrymore by writing a song - - lyrics and all - - for her , proving to her how much she means to him . Meanwhile , nothing about the movie is especially funny , yet neither is anything egregiously bad . It's just THERE , and I guess that's one of my biggest complaints about it . And is anyone but me weirded out by the age difference between Grant and Barrymore ? Couldn't a funny , interesting movie have been made from the same premise without making them romantically involved ? But that would have taken a bit more imagination on the part of the screenwriters , and really , who can be bothered when there's money to be made off of something we've seen ad nauseum before ? The best parts of the movie are the opening and closing credits , that feature a mock music video from Grant's 80s band . It's hilarious , and proves that the 80s can't really be parodied because they were a parody to begin with . Don't spend $10 on this . Rent it instead . |
574,099 | 4,532,636 | 90,555 | 5 | Why Did We Like This Movie So Much the First Time Around ? | Paul Hogan became a minor star ( o . k . , a VERY minor star ) as a result of this well-received comedy about a man plucked out of the middle of the Australian outback and plunked down in New York City . Cue all of the requisite fish-out-of-water jokes . Viewing the film now , one is appalled at 1 . ) how not very good it is and 2 . ) how much smaller the world must have gotten since 1986 - - this movie makes Australia seem like a country from the far side of the moon . Hogan tried to capitalize on the success of this movie and threw his hat in the ring for a sequel . Not a good idea , mate . |
574,275 | 4,532,636 | 413,015 | 5 | So-So Comedy About Nudity During the Blitz | A lightweight and not especially engaging biopic about a rich bored widow in WWII London who buys a theatre and decides to put on a nudie revue . I'm not sure exactly what drew director Stephen Frears to the material , since he doesn't muster up much energy to tell Laura Henderson's story . I'm assuming that the relationship between Laura and the man she employs to manage the theatre ( played by Bob Hoskins ) is supposed to give the movie its snap ; they bicker and trade barbs and tension is created by the implication that Laura is falling in love with him ( even though he's married ) . I suspect Frears was attempting to recreate the kind of battle-of-the-sexes sophisticated comedy prevalent in movies made during the period in which " Mrs . Henderson " is set : think Powell and Loy , Dunne and Grant , Hepburn and Tracy . But Dench and Hoskins don't have a lot of chemistry together , and any romantic spark to their storyline feels half-hearted to begin with and sizzles quickly . The only true sense of drama in the film comes from Hoskins gradually realizing that Dench isn't the frivolous woman he assumes her to be , but rather is setting out to give her life a sense of purpose in the absence of everything that previously gave it meaning . The biggest problem with this movie is its ambivalence . The half-heartedness that pervades the sexual sparks between Hoskins and Dench is present in every other aspect of the movie as well . The writers skate quickly past anything that might lend the movie some gravitas , yet they at the same time refuse to give themselves over to pure comedy . As a result , everything about it feels half baked and rather homogenized . Frears is usually a director I very much like , and his movies have always had a distinct sense of style . This film , though , feels anonymous , like it could have been directed by anyone . " Mrs . Henderson Presents " still manages to be moderately entertaining . There is some great period music and the movie nicely captures the atmosphere of the war-time London theatre scene . But over everything hovers the shadow of a missed opportunity . |
574,421 | 4,532,636 | 397,535 | 5 | At Least Their Hearts Were in the Right Place | I've not read the bestselling book on which this film is based , but I suspect that Rob Marshall jettisoned everything that made the book compelling and left us with a pretty but hollow husk . Regardless , this is one lifeless movie . It's pretty as a picture , to be sure . In fact , stunning production design seems to be the only thing that interests Marshall about this story , for all of the energy he puts into his movie . Now we know what " Chicago " would have been like without the musical numbers . However , prettiness alone isn't enough to save this film , and anyway , it's pretty in that digitally enhanced way that never looks like real life , and that " important " films use when they want to give their films an Oscar-ish sheen . It worked - - the Academy dutifully handed " Memoirs " Oscars for art direction , cinematography and costume design . Too bad the acting and screenplay aren't of the same caliber . The film plays out like an Asian version of " America's Next Top Model " ; it's all bitchy cat fights over who can be the better geisha . In the meantime , children become orphans and prostitutes , WWII comes and goes , lives are forever altered through true love , and not one scene carries any dramatic or emotional impact or even seems to matter much at all as long as there are pretty sets to look at . The hotness factor is high - - Ziyi Zhang , Michelle Yeoh and Gong Li all in the same movie ! But only Gong Li manages to bring any energy to the film as a hateful spitfire . Poor Zhang isn't able to make anything of her character , whether through her own fault or the fault of the script I'm not sure . Certainly the script doesn't help any , with its leaden voice over passages that sound like they're being read verbatim from the book but aren't at all right for a movie . The voice over just flat out tells us things about Zhang's character that should be conveyed through her performance , but aren't . Yeoh is a welcome if somewhat bland presence , and the movie comes alive for a brief period when she instructs Zhang in the ways of the geisha . But the life slowly goes out of the film like the air out of a gradually deflating balloon , and the last half hour or so is deadly . A well intentioned misfire . |
574,251 | 4,532,636 | 38,363 | 5 | Harmless But Uninspired | Blithe Spirit has Rex Harrison in his acerbic bachelor mode unable to get rid of either of his dead wives . Now if that's not a knock-out premise , I don't know what is , yet this film fell flat for me . This came out the same year as David Lean's other 1946 release , " Brief Encounter , " but it doesn't have any of that film's elegance and style . " Blithe Spirit " feels pretty anonymous from a film-making standpoint . However , this movie's strength is its writing . The screenplay is terrific , and all of the lines are delivered with such throw away dryness that I have the feeling I could watch this again and find everything funnier than I did the first time . No quibbles with the performances , though no one is asked to stretch him / herself much . My favorite performance probably came from Kay Hammond , playing Harrison's first dead wife . Others rave about Margaret Rutherford , but I found her a bit too mannered and spastic . I love that movies like this won Oscars for special effects . They're so quaint and fake , but you know the artists had to be so inventive to pull stuff like this off in the pre-computer era . My most negative comments concern the quality of the DVD itself . I wholeheartedly agree with previous commenters on the horrible color and sound quality on display here . I wish the film had been in black and white , because the copy I saw was washed out and ugly . And my wife and I missed about the first 20 minutes of dialogue because of bad sound . |
574,327 | 4,532,636 | 94,226 | 5 | Pound , Pound , Pound , Mr . De Palma | I know this film has quite a following , but I found it to be fairly ridiculous . In typical fashion , Brian De Palma pounds away at the viewer , music , sound and performances amped up to deafening levels , and he directs with hammer and anvil obviousness . I'm sure he thought he was being immensely clever to pay homage to the Odessa steps sequence from " The Battleship Potemkin " in the climactic set piece that takes place on the staircase ( imperiled baby carriage and all ) , but it comes across as cheesy . De Palma and Oliver Stone must have gone to the same school of film-making , because neither of them gives his audience an ounce of credit for being able to think for itself . |
573,496 | 4,532,636 | 92,580 | 5 | Suffers the Fate of Most Compilation Films | Aria as a whole is a pretty underwhelming experience , as most compilation films are . No one segment is very long , so the whole thing is painless to sit through , but I can't really bring myself to recommend it to anyone . The standout segment for me was Ken Russell's , which depicts a woman hallucinating while on the operating table after a terrible car accident . It helps that the segment is set to " Nessum dorma , " one of my favorite opera pieces - - I would find a filmed toaster glorious as long as it was set to that particular piece of music . Franc Roddam's segment is pretty decent , and features Bridget Fonda in her film debut . I liked Jean-Luc Godard's segment , which is set in a gym and features a bunch of body builders completely oblivious of the naked women dancing around them - - perhaps a comment on male narcissism ? Robert Altman's segment , which is primarily the reason I wanted to see this movie at all , is utterly forgettable - - the only notable thing about it is that you can tell he was filming " Beyond Therapy " at the same time , as many of the same actors are in both . Nicholas Roeg's segment , which opens the film , is pretty bad , as is Julien Temple's painfully unfunny contribution ( though it features a smokin ' Beverly D'Angelo ) , while Bruce Beresford's is just boring . Watch Derek Jarman's segment for a glimpse of a very young and pretty Tilda Swinton . There's not much to say about films like this . Some portions are better than others ; none of them are masterpieces . |
574,066 | 4,532,636 | 99,653 | 5 | We Liked This ? | This huge hit that came out of nowhere in 1990 looks pretty silly in retrospect . Because " Dirty Dancing " was such a big hit , people made the mistake of thinking that Patrick Swayze could actually act and began casting him in roles that required it . His eager attempts at emoting coupled with his ridiculous coif haircut are good for a chuckle or two . Speaking of haircuts , who thought it was a good idea to make Demi Moore look like a little boy ? The love scene between Swayze and Moore is both embarrassing and icky , embarrassing because they rub clay all over each other and icky because Moore looks like Pinocchio . The only person who salvages the movie is Whoopi Goldberg , playing a fake medium who ends up being a real medium after all . Goldberg's crowd-pleasing performance won her an Oscar , and if anything about the film deserved an Oscar , God knows it was her . And I never want to hear " Unchained Melody " again . . . . |
573,776 | 4,532,636 | 387,877 | 5 | Not As Bad As I Was Led to Believe , But No Grand Slam for DePalma | I didn't dislike this modern-day noir as much as many seemed to , but it's certainly no resounding success . Director Brian DePalma directs this big-screen version of the James Ellroy crime novel , itself a fictionalized account of the gruesome murder of Elizabeth Short , an aspiring actress who sadly found more fame in death than she would probably ever have had in life . The film focuses on two L . A . prizefighters turned detectives , played by the squinty-eyed Josh Hartnett and the chisel-jawed Aaron Eckhart , who find themselves wrapped up in an increasingly complex web of deception and murder . Eckhart becomes unnaturally obsessed with the investigation and slowly unravels , much to the dismay of Hartnett and Eckhart's girlfriend , the giant-bosomed Scarlett Johannson . As Eckhart becomes less reliable , Hartnett finds himself investigating the case on his own , and gets sexually involved with a spoiled society girl and sometime lesbian , played by the horse-toothed Hilary Swank . The plot becomes increasingly incomprehensible until it leads to a tidy finale in which the killer of Short reveals all in one of those " here's what happened " summaries that appeared at the end of every episode of " Murder She Wrote " but which doesn't manage to make anything all that much clearer . The confusing script didn't bother me all that much . Anyone who's seen a handful of films noir from the 1940s and 50s , films that DePalma is obviously trying to emulate , know that the plots of those rarely made a whole lot of sense . What bothered me was DePalma's inability to give his film a consistent tone . I couldn't tell if I was meant to take this film seriously as a crime thriller , or if I was meant to take it as a parody of film noir . At different times it's both of these . Hartnett , Johannson and Eckhart seem to think they should be taking everything deadly seriously , while Swank hams up a storm as the femme fatale , faking a hoity-toity aristocratic accent while stalking around dressed up as a 1940s version of Elvira . She at least has fun with the film , and I had fun with her , but she seems to be in a completely different movie . And Fiona Shaw , who has a small but crucial role as Swank's nutso mother , delivers a dreadful , ghastly performance that sends the film reeling into pure camp . Actually , if the film had stayed in the realm of camp , it would have been much better . Hartnett meets Swank in a lesbian night club where K . D . Lang croons a jazzy number to the accompaniment of a troop of glittery chorus girls . A scene in which Swank invites Hartnett to have dinner with her family is a jaw-dropper of bizarre black humor . A couple of set pieces , like the elaborate craning shot that begins with a shootout and sails over a rooftop to reveal Short's body being discovered in a field , or another action sequence that ends with two men plummeting to their deaths into a courtyard fountain , bring some welcome flashy stylistics to the film and interrupt its silly earnestness , but there's not enough of that . Hartnett is a blank spot at the center of the film , Eckhart is wasted , and Johannson can't do a thing with her poorly written character . Not only does the plot make no sense , but neither do the characters or their motivations . Actors just come and go seemingly at random , Hartnett sleeps with Swank , finds out she had sex with a woman once and freaks out ( though I'm not sure why ) , sleeps with Johannson , goes back to sleeping with Swank , all arbitrarily it would seem . There's an earthquake that doesn't have anything to do with anything else , and the first half hour of the film is devoted to the burgeoning friendship and boxing careers of Hartnett and Eckhart , 30 minutes I thought would become significant later on but never did . But despite all of this , I have to admit that DePalma did keep me watching , and I found myself able to enjoy the movie even while ticking off a long grocery list of its flaws . |
573,563 | 4,532,636 | 99,674 | 5 | Oh , Those Corleones . . . | No American filmmaker has had a more disappointing trajectory to his film career than Francis Ford Coppola . To have directed four of the most influential films of the 70's ( the first two " Godfather " films , " The Conversation , " and " Apocalypse Now " ) and then to spend the last two decades churning out one stinky product after another ( " Peggy Sue Got Married , " " Bram Stoker's Dracula " , the third " Godfather " ) earns Coppola my award for Most Promising Director Who Most Miserably Failed at Establishing Himself as an Important Figure of American Cinema . But before " Jack " there was " The Godfather . " While I feel the whole " Godfather " trilogy has been lauded into oblivion and is somewhat overrated , who am I to argue with the majority ? People think these are great movies , and they've certainly implanted themselves permanently in our cultural consciousness . And don't get me wrong : these films have moments of greatness ( at least the first two installments do ) . But I think " The Conversation " and " Apocalypse Now " are ultimately more interesting films , and I think Coppola stretched himself more artistically in those two films than he did in the entire " Godfather " trilogy combined . Of the trilogy , the first film is by far the best . It shows Coppola's flair for being able to craft a story with extreme mainstream appeal while staying faithful to his artistic vision . " The Godfather " doesn't look or sound quite like any gangster film before it , with it's muddy lighting and sound . It's also much more ambiguous morally than the usual Hollywood gangster film , at least any produced up to that point . The line between crime and justice is blurred sometimes beyond distinction , and the Corleone family at times acts with more honor ( in its own way ) than the institutions charged with upholding freedom , justice and morality . In this way , " The Godfather " offered a scathing critique of the foundations on which America as a country was built . Coppola , however , drives this point into the ground over the course of three films . There's really not much more to say after the first film ( it's already apparent that Michael Corleone's style of rule is different from his father's , his coldness and ruthlessness necessitated by a changing time ) , but we have to sit through a nearly 3 hour second installment that does nothing but reiterate this point again and again . Part II at least is saved by the back story of Vito Corleone ( played by Marlon Brando in Part I and Robert De Niro in Part II ) , and that story alone keeps Part II afloat . But Part III is wholly unnecessary and mars the whole enterprise , turning the franchise into the stuff of parody and camp . Al Pacino is the glue that holds the trilogy together , though his character really isn't as complex as a first viewing would have you believe . The major conflict facing him is resolved in the first film , and the second and third films give him nothing to do but replay what are essentially the same scenes over and over again . Other standouts in the cast include Robert Duvall , Diane Keaton and Talia Shire ( who alone makes the third chapter worth watching ) . Obviously a must see for cinema buffs , or even casual fans , but don't feel you have to label this trilogy as great just because of the reputation that precedes it . My Grade : Part I : A Part II : B Part III : |
574,037 | 4,532,636 | 811,080 | 5 | Not a Great Movie , But the Blu-Ray Is Astounding ! | If you own a Blu-Ray player , run don't walk to rent this movie and see Blu-Ray strut its stuff . This film looks AMAZING - - it's easily one of the most dazzling visual experiences I've ever had . However , do not misinterpret that praise as a recommendation of the film itself . Though it's not the disaster critics made it out to be upon its release , " Speed Racer " isn't a very good movie . If I hadn't been utterly absorbed in its high-def awesomeness , I likely would have gotten bored pretty quickly , as would I imagine anyone who's not under the age of , say , fourteen . Emile Hirsh is a drip as the eponymous hero , and there's not really anyone else in the cast to pick up the slack , though Christina Ricci tries mighty hard with the meagre material she's given to spice things up as Speed's girlfriend . The action scenes and much of the plot are frequently incomprehensible - - one wonders if a movie based on a cartoon needs to be quite so complicated , or quite so long ( 2 + hours ) . But if dazzling visuals are enough to engage your interest ( and let's face it , sometimes they just are ) , then this one is worth the space on your Netflix queue . |
573,972 | 4,532,636 | 42,332 | 5 | A Dull But Still Popular Disney Effort | This bland , tepid Disney cartoon remains one of the most popular animated films produced by the studio , but it has none of the visual artistry that distinguished the Disney style in its early days in films like " Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs , " " Pinocchio " and " Fantasia . " " Cinderella " acts as more of a transition to the family-oriented Disney of today , that sacrifices artistry and content for popularity and merchandising opportunities . And , to top it all off , " Cinderella " has one of the most annoying soundtracks of any Disney film . " Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo , " anyone ? |
574,247 | 4,532,636 | 270,288 | 5 | When Actors Become Directors | All too often , when an actor decides to try his / her hand at directing , the result is disappointing . It's as if actors feel such a need to prove themselves as having a bold directorial vision that the style of their movie takes precedence over the substance . That is the case here with " Confessions of a Dangerous Mind . " George Clooney overdirects this film to the hilt . Count the number of unconventional compositions that serve no purpose other than to be unconventional . I love experimental , original cinema , but I hate pretentious directors who think merely by shooting a scene from a crooked angle they're making high art . " Confessions " should be much better than it is , since it's full of striking images , propulsive music and pretty good performances . But it's a mish-mash , not helped at all by the mess of a screenplay by Charlie ( most over-rated screenwriter in Hollywood ) Kaufman . And whoever made the decision to shoot the entire film in a funky , surreal color scheme should be denied the right to work in film forever . Again , it serves no thematic purpose and does nothing but distract . This isn't a horrible movie - - it's not even necessarily a bad movie . Yet , I just didn't like it . It contains good elements - - the acting , for one , is pretty solid over all - - but I thought the whole thing just felt flat , and wasn't anywhere nearly as interesting or dynamic as it seemed to think it was . |
573,305 | 4,532,636 | 79,710 | 5 | One of Altman's Most Accessible Films Is Also One of His Least Interesting | Paul Dooley and Marta Heflin play a most decidedly IMperfect couple in Robert Altman's version of a romantic comedy . His claim at the time ( justified ) is that Hollywood had always allowed only beautiful people to fall in love , so he wanted to make a romance with a couple of ordinary folk . He succeeded when he found the paunchy Dooley and the distractingly skinny ( nearly anorexic ) Heflin for his leads , but the film itself is not much of a success . This came out during Altman's " experimental " period , meaning he threw together some disparate elements and hoped for the best . Actually , it's quite accessible for Altman , considering " Quintet " came out in the same year , and it's one of his least Altman-like projects . Unfortunately , it's those very qualities that also make it one of his least interesting and ugliest from a purely visual standpoint . The film does boast some good if dated music though , performed by the real-life band Keepin ' Em Off the Streets , led by Ted Neely , most known for playing the role of Jesus in the film version of " Jesus Christ Superstar " ( and whom I saw perform the role on stage in a touring version ) . |
573,835 | 4,532,636 | 66,601 | 5 | Antonioni's Smug Indictment of American Consumerism | I've always been slightly annoyed at non-American directors who propose to understand everything that is wrong with American culture . America is far from perfect , but so is every other country in the world , and each should focus on figuring out its own problems before taking on those of another ( are you listening , George Bush ? ) . " Zabriskie Point " is Michelangelo Antonioni's would-be scathing critique of America's consumerist culture as it existed in 1970 , and like the other Antonioni films I've seen , it's more of an endurance test than anything . It's capped by an explosive ( literally ) finale , during which the female protagonist imagines all manner of consumer goods ( refrigerators , television sets , dinnerware ) , not to mention the desert home of her boss , a corporate big-wig ( played by Rod Taylor ) who's company is planning to use the wide open spaces of the California desert as development property , being blown up in fascinating slow motion , so that all of these material things become no more than abstract bits and pieces floating through space . However , to get to that memorable finale , you have to sit through the rest of the movie , during which our female protagonist and her sort-of boyfriend wander around the dunes and rocky crags of the landmark that gives the film its title . No one put boredom on the screen better than Antonioni , and almost no one was better at boring his audience to tears as a result . We learn nothing about our two young lovers , other than that they're vaguely frustrated and suffering from feelings of oppression . What they're oppressed by is never made clear , and neither of them is remotely likable . It also doesn't help that their acting is atrocious . The male of the couple is involved in some sort of local student protests , but again , we don't ever fully understand what the students are protesting against . Rod Taylor and the other corporate hot shots are meant to be evil , I guess , mostly because they wear suits and have nice haircuts . Antonioni does have a knack for filming mundane locations in such a way as to make them look like something from another planet , like a sleek office in a corporate center or an L . A . boulevard choked with billboards and used car lots . But all of his critiques come across as vague and smug . This film comes across as something made by an angry college student , who's trying to respond to issues he doesn't fully understand . Antonioni evades having to offer any answers because he never gets around to asking any real questions . I would recommend " Zabriskie Point " for the finale alone , but that's about it . |
574,240 | 4,532,636 | 23,470 | 5 | My Jaw Hit the Floor When the Gorilla Made His Appearance | At the intermission of this Cecil B . DeMille epic , I had the sneaking suspicion that I'd been duped . This was the film blamed with bringing down in earnest the iron fist of the Motion Picture Production Code on Hollywood , but I'd seen precious little up to that point to warrant the claim . O . k . so I had seen Claudette Colbert's nipples as she frolicked in a milk bath ( and let me tell you , I was NOT expecting that ! ) which I know for certain were her nipples and not a trick of lighting because I watched the scene in extreme slo-mo on my DVD player to make sure . But that was about it . However , the second half started rolling , my jaw dropped to the floor , and I began to understand all of the broo-ha surrounding this film . Part two kicks off with a drunken orgy , in which a salacious lesbian performs some sort of seductive dance for the benefit of Elissa Landi ( I assume it was meant to be seductive , though it looked more like she was suffering from full-body cramps ) . But that was lightweight compared to the film's climactic 20 minutes , which chronicles in grisly detail the goings on in a Roman arena . We see all manor of wild animal ( crocodiles , elephants , bears , oh my ! ) chomp down on hapless victims . We see a naked woman chained to a post for the sexual gratification of a gorilla ( I'm not making this up ) . We see a battle between " barbarian women and African pygmies " ( as they're billed in the event's program ) , in which one barbarian woman lops off the head of one African pygmy while another skewers hers on a scimitar and holds him up over her head like a Thanksgiving turkey . And of course , no Roman epic would be complete without some Christians being fed to some hungry lions . You're forgiven if you don't shed much of a tear over the loss of the Christians . DeMille makes them so pompous and boring , and the Romans so much fun , that you end up rooting for the lions . The whole movie smacks of hypocrisy . DeMille really wants an excuse to get us off on sex and violence , but couches the whole thing in a pious framework to justify his own bloodlust . He's as debauched as the Romans in his movie . Mostly , " The Sign of the Cross " is terrible . The somnolent pacing will threaten to put you to sleep before you get to any of the good parts . The acting is atrocious , especially from Landi - - who would be the worst person on stage in a high school play - - and Fredric March , who looks about as much like a Roman prefect as I do ( and I don't look a thing like a Roman prefect ) . Leave it to Charles Laughton and Claudette Colbert to bring some dignity to the proceedings . In Laughton's first scene , the one that opens the movie , he babbles incoherently about the burning of Rome while sucking his thumb . Colbert , for her part , vamps through the movie tossing out sexual innuendos like she's Mae West . The most unbelievable thing about the whole film is that March could possibly fall for the goody-goody Landi when he already had Colbert on the side . I can't wholly recommend it , even for the laugh factor , because there's so much dull movie to slog through , but I would recommend at least tuning in for the grand finale and enjoying the spectacle like a true lecherous Roman . |
573,425 | 4,532,636 | 86,377 | 5 | Altman's Stab at Vietnam | I was excited to see that this film was released on DVD , only to be disappointed when I discovered that it's not available anywhere in the U . S . My comment on " Streamers " will have to be based on one viewing a few years ago as part of a Robert Altman seminar I took in college . It's a screen adaptation of a David Rabe play , and I look at it as a male counterpart to his virtually all-female stage to screen film from the year before , " Come Back to the 5 and Dime , Jimmy Dean , Jimmy Dean . " In " Streamers , " a group of Army recruits sit out a long dark weekend in their barracks , awaiting orders to ship off to Vietnam . It's dark , morbid and tense and covers such hot-button issues as racism and homophobia . I recall it all being a bit heavy-handed and one-note ; I was mostly exhausted after it was over , and didn't think it was as skillfully directed as " Come Back to the 5 and Dime , " which also suffered from hyperbolic material but which Altman worked wonders with . " Streamers " does boast some pretty solid performances from a young Matthew Modine ( who Altman would use again in " Short Cuts " ) and David Allan Grier , a far cry from the comic work he would do years later in shows like " In Living Color . " If I ever have a chance to see it again , I might revise my opinion . But for now , |
573,458 | 4,532,636 | 38,559 | 5 | Hayworth's Attempt to Become More Than a Pin-Up Girl | It seems as if every beautiful actress from the 40's who skated by on looks and sex appeal had at least one bid at gaining credibility for herself as a " serious " actress - - - and " Gilda " was Rita Hayworth's . Don't get me wrong , I think Hayworth is as gorgeous as the next guy , but she's just not a great actress , nor is she an interesting screen presence . Her beauty is of that variety that looks better in stills and movie posters than it does on the screen . " Gilda " isn't an especially memorable film . There was much ballyhoo at the time about the chemistry between Hayworth and leading man Glenn Ford , and I believe the film was a tremendous box office success , but it doesn't seem very exceptional now . The most famous scene , and the one invariably selected for excerpts today , is that of Hayworth's big musical number , " Put the Blame on Mame , " but what I guess seemed sexy at the time - - Hayworth flopping around like she's attached to strings that someone else is pulling - - seems awfully limp and silly now . Not a terrible movie , but there's really nothing much to recommend about it either . |
574,224 | 4,532,636 | 97,165 | 5 | Please Don't Make Me Gag , Mr . Chips | A message about the value of non-conformity comes packaged in an utterly formulaic and treacly film . " Dead Poets Society " belongs to that genre of films about an unconventional teacher who becomes a major figure in the lives of his students . Usually these movies end with the teacher either dying or leaving his position for some reason or another , but almost invariably we must endure a scene where the music swells and his students applaud him in unison . Robin Williams stars as the teacher in this one , and the Academy gave him a Best Actor nomination because he cried . |
573,684 | 4,532,636 | 44,391 | 5 | Trash By Any Other Name . . . . . . | This glossy , trashy soap opera of a movie has won all sorts of accolades and an idolatrous fan base , but its appeal is lost on me . It's filmed in chilly black and white , giving it the patina of an art film , but if this were filmed in blazing Technicolor , it wouldn't be any more distinguished than a heap of other 50s sudsers , like " Peyton Place " or " The Best of Everything . " Vincente Minellis proved that he could do shadowy melodramas as well as colorful musicals , but his direction is still fairly anonymous . The pacing of the film itself , with its rigid flashback structure , is monotonous , and it's much too long . I get a kick out of Gloria Grahame in whatever she's in , so she was a welcome addition to the cast , but she's in the film for maybe ten minutes late into its running time , and I was too numbed by indifference by the time she appeared to regain interest . Dick Powell is the only other actor I really remember , mostly because his dry , cynical writer character was so far removed from the bouncy , googly-eyed boy-next-door roles he played in all of the Warners musicals . |
573,960 | 4,532,636 | 77,402 | 5 | These Zombies Should Know When to Quit | A lot of people have tried really hard to read all sorts of subtext into George Romero's big-budget sequel to his unlikely 1968 hit " Night of the Living Dead , " but I remain a dissenter . Yes , yes , I do believe that Romero in an off-hand and cheeky way is lampooning American consumerism by setting his zombie-fest in a mall , where the undead begin to take on the glazed , staring look of end-of-day shoppers . And there is some significance in the fact that the humans become their own worst enemies by the time the film is done ; the zombies hardly seem to matter anymore when anarchy breaks out among the still living . But Romero's commentary falls way short of profundity , and the movie as a whole is nowhere near as effective or compelling as the original . " Night of the Living Dead " goes down as one of the top 10 scariest movies I've ever seen , so I was really disappointed that there wasn't a scare to be had in this sequel . Color isn't kind to Romero's vision , and what looked stark and frightening and ghoulish in grainy b & w ten years earlier looks cheesy and stupid ten years later . The zombie makeup effects are horrible . And this movie's just too long . There's simply not enough story to sustain a running time of two hours . " Night of the Living Dead " knew its limitations ; the scares came quickly , cheaply and shockingly . " Dawn of the Dead " is overblown and pushed nearly to pointlessness . A disappointing , lacklustre sequel to an inarguably classic film . |
574,362 | 4,532,636 | 75,995 | 6 | Horseplay | What maybe came across as powerful on stage comes across as rather silly in this screen adaptation of the Peter Schaffer drama . Richard Burton plays a psychiatrist who is assigned the task of probing into the mind of a young man who mutilated ( by blinding ) a stable of horses . As he delves further and further into the mind of this troubled youth , we begin to realize that perhaps the lunatics are running the asylum . Credit is due to Richard Burton for restraining himself nicely in the role of the doctor . Dangling a role like this in front of a notorious hammy overactor like Burton is like throwing a bleeding whale into a tank full of hungry sharks . I was just waiting for the acting frenzy to begin . But Burton retains control of himself and does manage to deliver a fairly haunting performance . The most applause must go to Peter Firth in the role of the crazy young man , which he originated in the stage version . He's got a tough role , and not just because he must spend about half of his time buck naked , and some of THAT time riding a horse ( ouch ! ) . For those of you who complain that there's not enough male frontal nudity in films , " Equus " is the movie for you ( though it may not be the kind of nudity you're hoping for ) . Nevertheless , Firth gives a powerful performance that almost makes sense of the obtuse and psycho-babblish screenplay . Sidney Lumet is a fine director ; he's one of those film directors whose movies don't always necessarily work , but who you can be sure will at least make his movies interesting . " Equus " is no exception . Oh it's interesting all right , but it's also turgid and overheated . And be warned - - - if you don't like seeing harm come to animals in movies , the scene where Peter Firth's character blinds the horses leaves nothing to the imagination . |
573,611 | 4,532,636 | 97,576 | 6 | Far Behind " Raiders " and " Temple of Doom " | This third installment of the Indiana Jones saga has never done it for me , though I have to say it looks like a masterpiece compared to " Kingdom of the Crystal Skull . " There just aren't the fabulous set pieces in this one to distinguish it from the others , and the ending veers too far into hocus-pocus supernatural terrain for my taste . I know I'm supposed to be tickled to death by Sean Connery's fussy curmudgeon , but I just found him to be tedious instead . I do , however , like the opening scene , that shows River Phoenix playing a young Indiana Jones at the beginning of his adventurous career . |
573,303 | 4,532,636 | 480,242 | 6 | Steve Carell's Moping Can Be Hard to Take | A harmless romantic comedy that begins to fall apart the second you start actually thinking about what you've just seen . Steve Carell plays the single dad ( the mom died of some unnamed illness ) of three girls who intensely dislike him , who takes his daughters to a family reunion at his parents ' idyllic cabin in Rhode Island . There he finds out that his brother's new girlfriend ( the radiant Juliette Binoche ) is the same mystery woman he previously met and instantly fell in love with at a bookstore when he ran out on an errand . The rest of the film involves him acting like a baby because he can't have her , his entire family being disgusted with his behavior , and him realizing that though he makes a living out of giving people advice about how to get their lives together ( the title of the film refers to his newspaper column moniker ) , he can't do the same for himself . The whole movie suffers the fate of many a romantic comedy in the same vein - - it's amiable , but rather limp . Too much of it feels forced . The screenplay can't allow Juliette Binoche to be a real woman - - she has to be a romantic comedy love interest , otherwise known as the Most Wonderful Woman God Ever Created . Events that would realistically play out over several weeks are crammed into a two - or three-day timespan . This is especially apparent and awkward in a late scene involving some newspaper executives who come to interview Dan about taking his column into syndication ( they would really choose to come and meet with him while he's at a family reunion ? ) Dan's annoyingly perfect family has to share a group amphetamine addiction ; otherwise there is no way to account for the manic energy they have ( when they're not playing football or engaging in group exercise classes , they're planning talent shows ) . But mostly , and unfortunately , I thought the biggest flaw with the film was Carell himself . He moped to perfection in " Little Miss Sunshine , " but he's just aggravating here . I think we're meant to feel charmed and a bit heartbroken at seeing this man act like a petulant teenager , but I just wanted to tell him to get it together . The supporting cast is led by Dianne Wiest and John Mahoney as Dan's mom and dad , along with Dane Cook as his brother and Emily Blunt in a brief but memorable and sexy performance as a possible romantic alternative . However , everyone's talent is largely wasted . This is one of those unoffensive , unchallenging and uninteresting movies that's designed to give family crowds something to do when they tire of their Christmas shopping . |
573,930 | 4,532,636 | 109,045 | 6 | Am I the Only One Who Thinks Guy Pearce Makes a Hot Woman ? | The surprise indie hit about three drag queens who go on a voyage of self discovery . Hollywood liked it so much that it basically remade it as " To Wong Foo , Thanks for Everything , Julie Newmar , " with bigger names and a sanitized plot . Marketing for " Priscilla " makes it seem like a gay romp ( sorry , I couldn't resist ) , but it's not . It's actually a very serious and quite depressing film . These are not drag queens full of bravado and content to be who they are . These are men struggling with serious issues and to some extent using their female personas to hide . Yes , there are some disco numbers and lots of dazzling costumes , and yes , " I Will Survive " does make its appearance , but anyone coming to the movie thinking it's going to be a riot are sure to be disappointed . It boasts three great performances from Hugo Weaving , Terence Stamp and Guy Pearce , who particularly proves to the world how hot a woman he can be . |
573,635 | 4,532,636 | 91,326 | 6 | How Do You Say " Wax On , Wax Off " in Japanese ? | This unnecessary sequel to the surprise 1984 hit picks up exactly where the previous film left off , and though it's not a great movie , it could have been much worse . In this one , Danny and Mr . Miyagi travel to Japan , where Danny finds himself in yet another karate showdown , and finds time to fall in love with a Japanese girl who's way hotter than Elisabeth Shue . Ralph Macchio and Pat Morita return to their roles , and have just as much chemistry together as they did before , even if the novelty has worn off a bit . Like many films from the 1980s , this one is most famous for its theme song , " Glory of Love " . |
574,057 | 4,532,636 | 99,073 | 6 | Barry Levinson's Fan Base Does Not Include Me | Typical Barry Levinson , which means safe , tasteful , lacklustre and fairly dull . An episodic journey across several generations of an immigrant family seeking the American dream . There's lots of syrupy music meant to invoke a vague nostalgia . There are any number of shots clearly intended to impress us with their iconic imagery ( like the one shown on the film's poster ) . It's certainly a quality film , but not one for which I can muster up much enthusiasm . I must not be the target audience for Barry Levinson movies , because I feel the same way about all of them . |
574,524 | 4,532,636 | 65,063 | 6 | Set the Model for Allen's Lightweight 70s Comedies | Woody Allen's first crack at directing his own original material is typical of the kind of films he would make into the mid-1970s : lightweight comedies filled with sight gags and one-liners , episodic in structure , more like skit-variety shows than feature length films . But it has some awfully funny moments , not the least of which is the one that shows " footage " of Allen's character from his school marching band days , and he , a violinist , is trying to keep up with everybody else while dragging his chair and music stand along with him . And just out of curiosity , how do other people get around the stupid 10-line rule when posting comments ? I've seen many other reviews that aren't nearly that long . I had to type this paragraph just to get my comment accepted . |
573,998 | 4,532,636 | 93,260 | 6 | Dennis Quaid Goes on a Fantastic Voyage | An enjoyable enough sci-fi comedy in which Dennis Quaid plays a scientist who's miniaturized and launched into the body of Martin Short . Think of it as a goofy , screwball version of " Fantastic Voyage " . In comedy style , it's actually somewhat reminiscent of the Steve Martin / Lily Tomlin vehicle " All of Me " , in that Quaid is able to influence Short's physical movements . As you can imagine , this results in all manner of physical comedy antics , but if you're going to go that route , you could do worse than placing the proceedings in the hands of Martin Short , a gifted physical actor . The special effects were quite nifty for the time , and won the film an Oscar . |
574,087 | 4,532,636 | 110,638 | 6 | Jodie Foster's Wild Child | Liam Neeson and Natasha Richardson play a couple of doctors who discover a wild child named Nell , a woman who's grown up completely isolated from human contact , and who as a result has developed her own language , mode of communication , etc . I can understand what drew Jodie Foster to the role of Nell , because on paper it's a serious actress's wet dream . However , the results , while earnest , are rather embarrassing . Something about the film , and Foster's performance , never quite works , and I found myself laughing at her performance , never a good sign . The whole thing is just a little too nauseating to be completely enjoyable . |
573,720 | 4,532,636 | 864,761 | 6 | Drag Out Your Period Garb for Another Uninspired Stroll Through History | Keira Knightley has become the go-to actress for portraying spunky feminist characters in period dramas . In her latest , she plays the Duchess of Devonshire , who challenges her husband's right to openly philander by doing some open philandering of her own . But of course she finds that double standards reign supreme , and we are shown the sacrifices a woman is willing to make in order to stay with her children . The movie is period designed to the hilt , and everything else about it ( writing , acting , directing ) is fine , but none of it is exceptional . Mostly , it just made me want to watch " Barry Lyndon " again . The movie doesn't distinguish itself from a hundred other period films you've seen that are just like it , and beyond the specifics of the Duchess's life ( which may be enough for some viewers ) , it doesn't tell us anything we don't already know . I take that back - - it did answer one question for me . If you're wondering whether or not all of those towering wigs surrounded by all of those burning candelabras ever resulted in a pyrotechnic mishap , they did . And punch comes in handy when you're trying to put out a fire . |
573,428 | 4,532,636 | 431,197 | 6 | The A Team Goes Arabian | This schizophrenic action film can't decide whether it wants to be a solemn lecture about American / Arabian cultural differences or an episode of " The A Team . " Director Peter Berg does an admirable job of maintaining an air of objectivity in this story about a group of American FBI agents who travel to Saudi Arabia to investigate the crime scene of a terrible terrorist attack against the wishes of both American and Saudi authorities . The Americans are portrayed as arrogant bullies , the Saudis as mysterious and uncooperative . The best part of the film are the tiny details thrown in here and there to highlight the cultural animosity - - a black robe thrown over Jennifer Garner's shoulders to hide the tight-fitting tank top she wears to do her forensics work ; the Saudi chief of police misunderstanding the American slang Jamie Foxx's character sprinkles throughout his speech ; the looks of disdain on the Americans ' faces when an entire unit of Saudi police drop to the ground in prayer in the mid-day sun . The investigation itself never becomes a point of interest in the story ; I'm not sure whether this was intentional or not . The final third of the film devolves into a standard action film chase scene with all of the implausibility scenes like that carry with them , and the race to save a fellow FBI agent before a group of terrorists are able to videotape his beheading seems like a cheap and distasteful ploy to build suspense . The final message of the movie , meant to send us away pontificating , no doubt , is that what Americans and Arabs share most in common is a desire to kill one another . The issues this movie tries to tackle are far too complicated for the lowest-common-denominator treatment they are given here . |
573,912 | 4,532,636 | 439,815 | 6 | You Might Think Twice Before Ordering the Escargot | Nathan Fillion's engaging screen personality was largely responsible for making something special out of the potentially run-of-the-mill sci-fi movie " Serenity , " and that same personality does something similar for this film , the latest in the flesh-eating zombie genre . In " Slither , " a meteor from outer space deposits a gooey egg out in the middle of some woods , which a very unlucky regular Joe comes across one dark night while cavorting with a female companion . A quick moving critter makes a home out of this regular Joe's body , and through him impregnates the female companion . She experiences perhaps the worst pregnancy ever caught on film until she pops like a giant helium balloon , unleashing a horde of speedy slugs that begin taking over the minds and bodies of a whole townful of regular folk . Nathan Fillion , playing the sheriff of this once-quiet village , along with a small batch of survivors , struggle to put an end to the infestation and restore order to the galaxy . " Slither " keeps its tongue firmly in cheek , so if it's not a great movie , it's at least a fun and playful one . It's not remotely scary , but it doesn't try to be . It's gross , but in a stylized way that allows you to enjoy the gross out parts , unlike the gore that characterizes the new breed of torture porn films that are so inexplicably popular . It's a rather lazy movie really , with characters getting killed off when the script doesn't know what else to do with them , and with too many dramatic conflicts being too quickly and easily resolved . But when I sat down to watch this , I was really in the mood for something I wouldn't have to think too much about but that wouldn't insult my intelligence , and " Slither " delivered in both respects . |
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