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jimmy fallon gets heartfelt after revealing he almost lost his finger
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jimmy-fallon-reveals-he-almost-lost-his-finger_us_55a5076ce4b0a47ac15d52f8
1
mortgage market collapse threatens nation's banner ad industry
https://www.theonion.com/mortgage-market-collapse-threatens-nations-banner-ad-in-1819569308
0
donald trump and america's blood sport of choice
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-and-americas-blood-sport-of-choice_us_59e900dce4b05b4f1c3a0717
0
mckinsey global institute: women's equality would unleash massive growth
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/womens-equality-economic-impact-davos-world-forum_us_569fe53ce4b0d8cc109872ff
1
puppy dies adorable death
https://local.theonion.com/puppy-dies-adorable-death-1819568102
0
3 myths about low libido
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/3-myths-about-low-libido_b_7640656.html
1
report: there just something dark and intriguing about man with serious personality disorder
https://local.theonion.com/report-there-just-something-dark-and-intriguing-about-1819580179
1
teary-eyed wrestlers bid farewell to friends made at summerslam
https://entertainment.theonion.com/teary-eyed-wrestlers-bid-farewell-to-friends-made-at-su-1819576834
1
elderly mother at that age where even just one fall over niagara could be fatal
https://local.theonion.com/elderly-mother-at-that-age-where-even-just-one-fall-ove-1834385705
0
paintings of feminist protestors celebrate the women who bare it all to fight back
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/nadine-faraj-feminist-watercolors_us_57fff4f2e4b0162c043afff2
1
man purchasing pair of red pants better be ready to put up or shut up
https://www.theonion.com/man-purchasing-pair-of-red-pants-better-be-ready-to-put-1819574851
1
orrin hatch mistakenly left dangling in bondage-fetish dungeon
https://politics.theonion.com/orrin-hatch-mistakenly-left-dangling-in-bondage-fetish-1819565385
0
don't march if you won't keep walking
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dont-march-if-you-wont-keep-walking_us_5883c3b1e4b08f5134b62142
0
masked robber foiled after unfriending victim on facebook
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/masked-robber-unfriend-facebook_us_56f67641e4b0143a9b485895
1
teddy bear feels terrible for sparking 'what are we?' conversation
https://local.theonion.com/teddy-bear-feels-terrible-for-sparking-what-are-we-c-1823003040
0
jeff sessions suggests a crackdown isn't coming for legal weed
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jeff-sessions-legal-marijuana_us_58c967c0e4b03b1fc5cf5ca8
1
group of hunky cardinals appeal to pope to relax celibacy requirement
https://www.theonion.com/group-of-hunky-cardinals-appeal-to-pope-to-relax-celiba-1819590729
0
khizr khan sees a shared 'moral compass' in lessons of japanese-american incarceration
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/khizr-khan-japanese-american-incarceration_us_5a90a731e4b0ee6416a357b3
1
queen bun gives birth to thousands of tiny rolls
https://www.theonion.com/queen-bun-gives-birth-to-thousands-of-tiny-rolls-1822882738
1
5-year-old figures he has a year left of peeing at urinals with his pants all the way down
https://local.theonion.com/5-year-old-figures-he-has-a-year-left-of-peeing-at-urin-1819575648
0
why my daughter's nursery will be pink
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-my-daughters-nursery_b_8236622.html
1
last remaining ivory-billed woodpecker really squandering species' final weeks
https://www.theonion.com/last-remaining-ivory-billed-woodpecker-really-squanderi-1819579634
1
ice in urinal just cherry on top for man who came to club to drink piss
https://local.theonion.com/ice-in-urinal-just-cherry-on-top-for-man-who-came-to-cl-1828386693
1
frenzied trump supporters admit they'd be just as happy tearing him to pieces
https://politics.theonion.com/frenzied-trump-supporters-admit-they-d-be-just-as-happy-1819578183
0
here's what congress is doing about lead pipes in flint and elsewhere
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/congress-flint_us_56d0a37be4b0871f60eb4ab6
1
man always insists you toss him keys rather than just hand them to him
https://www.theonion.com/man-always-insists-you-toss-him-keys-rather-than-just-h-1819566697
0
pankaj mishra's incredible india
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/pankaj-mishras-incredible-india_b_6052346.html
1
man vows never to watch another sci-fi movie with physicist friend
https://entertainment.theonion.com/man-vows-never-to-watch-another-sci-fi-movie-with-physi-1819566728
0
chilling report details myanmar's horrific campaign against rohingya minority
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/myanmar-rohingya-amnesty-report_us_59e5fdcbe4b0a2324d1dcd20
1
disney reveals that every disney movie takes place in single, unified universe
https://entertainment.theonion.com/disney-reveals-that-every-disney-movie-takes-place-in-s-1819573484
0
whole plant eating: squash seeds
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/whole-plant-eating-squash-seeds_b_6227854.html
0
this is the worst commercial ever created
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/busta-rhymes-swagger-wago_n_5645838.html
0
some alzheimer's risk factors may be controllable
https://www.huffingtonpost.comhttp://www.cnbc.com/2015/08/21/alzheimers-risk-factors-some-may-be-controllable.html
0
45 things you'll never hear most men say
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/45-things-youll-never-hear-most-men-say_b_6775614.html
0
annie mumolo talks funny women and the possibility of a 'bridesmaids' sequel
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/annie-mumolo-talks-funny-women-and-possible-bridesmaids-sequel_us_578fd233e4b0bdddc4d2d42c
0
surviving and thriving through adversity: a transgender bathroom and hiv love story
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/surviving-and-thriving-through-adversity-a-transgender-bathroom-and-hiv-love-story_b_6935326.html
0
nordstrom just low-key dropped a huge fall sale
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-best-of-nordstroms-fall-sale_us_59fb2a49e4b0b0c7fa3880bf
0
your favorite female 'star wars' heroes finally get their own series
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/your-favorite-female-star-wars-heroes-finally-get-their-own-series_us_58ef68eae4b0b9e98489b03a
1
turtle bocce balled around
https://local.theonion.com/turtle-bocce-balled-around-1819591772
1
make-a-reasonable-request foundation provides sick child with decent seats to minnesota timberwolves game
https://www.theonion.com/make-a-reasonable-request-foundation-provides-sick-chil-1819571274
0
russians at home and in america expect trump to deliver -- but on what depends
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/russians-trump-promises_us_588a7dd3e4b0303c0752c5b3
0
united airlines skips senate deadline to explain passenger-dragging incident
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/united-skips-senate-deadline-to-explain-dragged-passenger-incident_us_58fa369fe4b018a9ce5accf4
0
details hazy on 'death threats' against epa's scott pruitt
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/details-hazy-on-death-threats-against-epas-scott-pruitt_us_5acabfeae4b0337ad1e9624b
1
mario batali reduced to selling bowl of ravioli on craigslist
https://www.theonion.com/mario-batali-reduced-to-selling-bowl-of-ravioli-on-crai-1833972174
0
a reality show about marshawn lynch is coming to facebook
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/marshawn-lynch-reality-show_us_59b984f8e4b02da0e13eaf14
0
what the inauguration and women's march looked like from a kid's perspective
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-the-inauguration-and-womens-march-looked-like-from-a-kids-perspective_us_58863e65e4b096b4a2334dd9
0
astronaut eileen collins was supposed to endorse trump in her rnc speech, but didn't
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/eileen-collins-rnc_us_57901c41e4b0fc06ec5ba918
0
obama blasts afghans for expelling reporter -- so why the continued pursuit of 'nyt' reporter james risen?
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/obama-blasts-afghans-for-_b_5702290.html
1
michelle obama admits barack had way too much sperm to make natural conception possible
https://politics.theonion.com/michelle-obama-admits-barack-had-way-too-much-sperm-to-1830341335
1
gifted, passionate student really stretching limits of school's resources
https://local.theonion.com/gifted-passionate-student-really-stretching-limits-of-1819579116
0
the selfie girls everyone mocked use their fame for good
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/selfie-girls-asu-alpha-chi-omega-domestic-violence_us_560eb59ae4b076812701bd7a
0
meet the young people trying to make sure detroit's rebirth works for everybody
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/detroit-innovation-challenge-journi-our-town_us_59ef2d37e4b03535fa93ccfd
1
cobweb-covered skeleton gripping senate desk expected to seek 15th term
https://politics.theonion.com/cobweb-covered-skeleton-gripping-senate-desk-expected-t-1825782056
0
the wind and sea estate is a 5 star getaway: foraging with friends for the future
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-wind-and-sea-estate-i_b_6417672.html
0
why sharing your dreams is so important
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/why-sharing-your-dreams-i_b_5851854.html
0
astoria characters: the charity stager
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/astoria-characters-the-ch_b_5262569.html
0
hpps social shares - test 2
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hpps-social-shares-test-2_n_7464100.html
1
weary, cynical woman knows better than to bring tomato plant into world like this
https://local.theonion.com/weary-cynical-woman-knows-better-than-to-bring-tomato-1834892095
0
lin-manuel miranda's childhood letters are way too real for people who hated summer camp
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/lin-manuel-miranda-letters-from-camp_us_5ac8f2fbe4b07a3485e52f30
0
the easiest winter hacks for getting through a long, cold season
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/winter-hacks-cold-weather-season_n_6581794.html
0
widespread power outage strikes detroit
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/detroit-power-outage-downtown_n_6255160.html
1
gay kid excited to be made fun of for second thing
https://www.theonion.com/gay-kid-excited-to-be-made-fun-of-for-second-thing-1819575030
1
senate intelligence committee confirms from testimony that donald trump jr. has no knowledge
https://politics.theonion.com/senate-intelligence-committee-confirms-from-testimony-t-1826115790
1
local senior keeps busy with obituary-clipping hobby
https://local.theonion.com/local-senior-keeps-busy-with-obituary-clipping-hobby-1819586419
1
hair dyed back to original color
https://local.theonion.com/hair-dyed-back-to-original-color-1819565616
0
'glee' finale flashes forward to show dreams come true
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/glee-finale-flash-forward_n_6915712.html
1
huckabee forced to attend fundraiser with head stuck in molasses crock
https://politics.theonion.com/huckabee-forced-to-attend-fundraiser-with-head-stuck-in-1819578351
1
alex jones returns to humble roots of screaming conspiracy theories through megaphone at people in park
https://www.theonion.com/alex-jones-returns-to-humble-roots-of-screaming-conspir-1828144517
0
dog dies on united flight after passenger forced to put carrier in overhead bin
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/dog-dies-on-united-flight-after-passenger-forced-to-put-carrier-in-overhead-bin_us_5aa819aee4b0e872b4bf7d36
0
people and other animals: baby hummingbirds in our incubators means that spring has come
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/people-other-animals-baby_b_6739330.html
0
hilarious video shows 'how to bake easter cookies like a toddler'
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/hilarious-video-shows-how-to-bake-easter-cookies-like-a-toddler_us_56f2a5f0e4b04c4c37609f02
0
congresswoman fights for gun control because she almost lost her life to gun violence
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/debbie-dingell-gun-control-domestic-violence_us_576baf2de4b0c0252e787081
0
james corden honors 'diverse' and 'brilliant' london in wake of terror attack
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/james-corden-london-terror-attacks_us_58d377d6e4b02d33b7489743
0
the gop health care bill falls apart ― again ― and no one can agree whose fault it is
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gop-health-care-fails-blame-game_us_58e57176e4b0917d3477030f
1
jamie dimon cites relentless desire to watch a person die up close as inspiration for starting healthcare company
https://www.theonion.com/jamie-dimon-cites-relentless-desire-to-watch-a-person-d-1822587898
1
india continues surge towards status as first world nation by reelecting racist, right-wing authoritarian
https://www.theonion.com/india-continues-surge-towards-status-as-first-world-nat-1834980952
0
stormy daniels' lawyer taunts trump: michael cohen will 'fold like a cheap deck of cards'
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/michael-cohen-michael-cohen_us_5acd7b1be4b09212968ccf2d
0
marital rape is not a crime in india. but one high court judge is pushing for change.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/india-marital-rape-gujarat-high-court_us_5ac571dce4b0aacd15b82c00
1
ray lahood resigns following mysterious disappearance of country road
https://www.theonion.com/ray-lahood-resigns-following-mysterious-disappearance-o-1819574447
1
something sliding around in coffin
https://local.theonion.com/something-sliding-around-in-coffin-1819590475
0
kate hudson and dakota johnson pose for adorable pic with their famous moms
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/kate-hudson-dakota-johnson-famous-moms_us_567abdc7e4b06fa6887f884b
0
bernie sanders is narrowing the gap with hillary clinton in the granite state
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/bernie-sanders-new-hampshire_us_55c15303e4b0f7f0bebae9cb
0
merrick garland tears up during fifth grade commencement address
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/merrick-garland-commencement-speech_us_57618d90e4b05e4be860767b
1
bear emerges from hibernation refreshed and ready to kill
https://www.theonion.com/bear-emerges-from-hibernation-refreshed-and-ready-to-ki-1819591133
0
new web series aims to tell stories of love, addiction and healing
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/spring-street-web-series_us_57bb2bc5e4b03d513689aebd
0
the view from brexit britain -- america still has the chance to repudiate hatred
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-view-from-brexit-britain-america-still-has-the_us_581f1001e4b044f827a78e72
1
vacation to israel canceled due to history of israel
https://www.theonion.com/vacation-to-israel-canceled-due-to-history-of-israel-1819570484
1
report: clinton accepted rebate while in office depot
https://www.theonion.com/report-clinton-accepted-rebate-while-in-office-depot-1819565987
1
student fills in new essay portion of sat with all c's
https://www.theonion.com/student-fills-in-new-essay-portion-of-sat-with-all-cs-1819588310
0
nervous flyer screwed by pals who secretly pack dildo in his bag (nsfw)
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/nervous-flyer-screwed-by-pals-who-secretly-pack-dildo-in-his-bag_us_573a160ae4b08f96c183c0d9
1
mysterious man in parking lot threatens to harm rudy giuliani if he ever blabs about trump's legal payments again
https://politics.theonion.com/mysterious-man-in-parking-lot-threatens-to-harm-rudy-gi-1825755513
1
tv critics admit to never having watched the wire
https://entertainment.theonion.com/tv-critics-admit-to-never-having-watched-the-wire-1819569581
0
10 reasons not wearing yoga pants should be illegal
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/10-reasons-not-wearing-yoga-pants-should-be-illegal_b_6673128.html
0
gop lawmaker, already punished for claiming parents' money as his own, does it again
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/guinta-financial-disclosure-fec-money_us_57bc5525e4b03d51368aafe2
1
turkish restaurant thrown into complete disarray by entry of single customer
https://local.theonion.com/turkish-restaurant-thrown-into-complete-disarray-by-ent-1835629234
1
heston: 'we must arm ourselves if we are to defeat the apes'
https://www.theonion.com/heston-we-must-arm-ourselves-if-we-are-to-defeat-the-a-1819586516
1
secretary of agriculture finally gets around to reading fast food nation
https://politics.theonion.com/secretary-of-agriculture-finally-gets-around-to-reading-1819566971
1
passersby can't help but stare at woman's huge kids
https://local.theonion.com/passersby-can-t-help-but-stare-at-woman-s-huge-kids-1819580419
1
retirees speak out on crucial lawn care issues
https://local.theonion.com/retirees-speak-out-on-crucial-lawn-care-issues-1819586232
1
sessions: 'i am proud to have served white america'
https://politics.theonion.com/sessions-i-am-proud-to-have-served-white-america-1830295934
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