prompt stringlengths 22 39.2k | prompt_id stringlengths 64 64 | chosen listlengths 2 2 | rejected listlengths 2 2 | messages listlengths 2 2 | score_chosen float64 5.19 10 | score_rejected float64 0 10 | other_info dict |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "We have a young new male professor who doesn’t have an overtly gay voice but wore dangly earrings every day this semester and presented queer-ish. Don’t hide yourself, representation matters and all the students in the class were obsessed with him. Mostly because he’s a great teacher but also because he looks like us and talks like us and clearly isn’t afraid to be himself. Be yourself. Your students need to see you and those who have a problem with it need to get sorted out. That’s what college is for.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "If that’s your voice, it’s your voice, no two ways about it. However, I understand that it’s obviously an uncertain feeling with students but honestly I’ve had gay teachers and I’ve never thought them unprofessional or less than anyone straight because of their more effeminate voices. Inevitably, suppressing that voice is also probably not good for your own mental health and may result in some internalized homophobia.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "We have a young new male professor who doesn’t have an overtly gay voice but wore dangly earrings every day this semester and presented queer-ish. Don’t hide yourself, representation matters and all the students in the class were obsessed with him. Mostly because he’s a great teacher but also because he looks like us and talks like us and clearly isn’t afraid to be himself. Be yourself. Your students need to see you and those who have a problem with it need to get sorted out. That’s what college is for.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 6.025641 | 1.692308 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 16,
"raw_score_ratio": 5.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 10012,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "We have a young new male professor who doesn’t have an overtly gay voice but wore dangly earrings every day this semester and presented queer-ish. Don’t hide yourself, representation matters and all the students in the class were obsessed with him. Mostly because he’s a great teacher but also because he looks like us and talks like us and clearly isn’t afraid to be himself. Be yourself. Your students need to see you and those who have a problem with it need to get sorted out. That’s what college is for.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I took a course this semester with a male professor with a somewhat feminine voice. I don’t think it was a problem and even think it made him seem more approachable. Ultimately, I think your responses to questions/input from students is much more important to determining how you are perceived than your voice.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "We have a young new male professor who doesn’t have an overtly gay voice but wore dangly earrings every day this semester and presented queer-ish. Don’t hide yourself, representation matters and all the students in the class were obsessed with him. Mostly because he’s a great teacher but also because he looks like us and talks like us and clearly isn’t afraid to be himself. Be yourself. Your students need to see you and those who have a problem with it need to get sorted out. That’s what college is for.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 6.025641 | 1.692308 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 16,
"raw_score_ratio": 5.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 2330,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "We have a young new male professor who doesn’t have an overtly gay voice but wore dangly earrings every day this semester and presented queer-ish. Don’t hide yourself, representation matters and all the students in the class were obsessed with him. Mostly because he’s a great teacher but also because he looks like us and talks like us and clearly isn’t afraid to be himself. Be yourself. Your students need to see you and those who have a problem with it need to get sorted out. That’s what college is for.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't worry about it. As long as your students can hear and understand your voice, you're good to go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "We have a young new male professor who doesn’t have an overtly gay voice but wore dangly earrings every day this semester and presented queer-ish. Don’t hide yourself, representation matters and all the students in the class were obsessed with him. Mostly because he’s a great teacher but also because he looks like us and talks like us and clearly isn’t afraid to be himself. Be yourself. Your students need to see you and those who have a problem with it need to get sorted out. That’s what college is for.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 6.025641 | 0 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 16,
"raw_score_ratio": 8,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 26581,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "We have a young new male professor who doesn’t have an overtly gay voice but wore dangly earrings every day this semester and presented queer-ish. Don’t hide yourself, representation matters and all the students in the class were obsessed with him. Mostly because he’s a great teacher but also because he looks like us and talks like us and clearly isn’t afraid to be himself. Be yourself. Your students need to see you and those who have a problem with it need to get sorted out. That’s what college is for.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I (straight male) had an English professor in college for a short while who was gay and spoke with the stereotypical voice and mannerisms. He was a super cool guy and I didn’t think anything of it and it didn’t make me view him as less of an authority on the subject. I did have to drop his class because it was an elective and I had taken too much on that semester but it seemed like an interesting class (Shakespearean Lit, I believe) and he seemed like a cool guy. I think you’re good.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "We have a young new male professor who doesn’t have an overtly gay voice but wore dangly earrings every day this semester and presented queer-ish. Don’t hide yourself, representation matters and all the students in the class were obsessed with him. Mostly because he’s a great teacher but also because he looks like us and talks like us and clearly isn’t afraid to be himself. Be yourself. Your students need to see you and those who have a problem with it need to get sorted out. That’s what college is for.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 6.025641 | 1.692308 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 16,
"raw_score_ratio": 5.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 23363,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "We have a young new male professor who doesn’t have an overtly gay voice but wore dangly earrings every day this semester and presented queer-ish. Don’t hide yourself, representation matters and all the students in the class were obsessed with him. Mostly because he’s a great teacher but also because he looks like us and talks like us and clearly isn’t afraid to be himself. Be yourself. Your students need to see you and those who have a problem with it need to get sorted out. That’s what college is for.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I think it depends on the country, but in my UK experience, certain students will love you way more if you're obviously gay. I am a dykey-looking person with short hair and button up shirts, and my QM students get to know me a lot better because I stick out to them, unlike the other TAs. I would also say that while in uni, the yeargroup's favourite lecturer was a wonderful camp gay guy who also happened to be amazing at his job and very friendly. So, if you're in a resonably accepting environment, I would say that students and young people are nothing to worry about. I get a bit more weirdness from older faculty members, but even then, I think they mostly just panic and think they have to behave a specific way around me.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "We have a young new male professor who doesn’t have an overtly gay voice but wore dangly earrings every day this semester and presented queer-ish. Don’t hide yourself, representation matters and all the students in the class were obsessed with him. Mostly because he’s a great teacher but also because he looks like us and talks like us and clearly isn’t afraid to be himself. Be yourself. Your students need to see you and those who have a problem with it need to get sorted out. That’s what college is for.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 6.025641 | 0 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 16,
"raw_score_ratio": 8,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 14053,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "We have a young new male professor who doesn’t have an overtly gay voice but wore dangly earrings every day this semester and presented queer-ish. Don’t hide yourself, representation matters and all the students in the class were obsessed with him. Mostly because he’s a great teacher but also because he looks like us and talks like us and clearly isn’t afraid to be himself. Be yourself. Your students need to see you and those who have a problem with it need to get sorted out. That’s what college is for.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ben Munson is the one doing legit acoustic work on this phenomenon. If you're curious enough for a deep dive it might be worth a read. Genuinely, though, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I can imagine there may be some areas of the world or pockets in institutions where your voice would negatively affect your job prospects, but those are the exact same places where your *actually being gay* would be a much bigger issue, and not likely at the top of your list for that reason anyways. From the other perspective (IE of your students), I would worry about it even less. Speech changes all the time, and there are indications that the \"gay voice\" you're using isn't the same as the \"gay voice\" being used by teens, nor will it be the one used by 20-somethings when you're 40-something. Particularly in English-speaking countries in the Global North(tm), gender and sexuality and how it related to identity is in a massive flux right now anyways and we're still not sure how that's going to shake out in terms of style or dialect shifts. Students that are going to disrespect you because you sound gay are either 1. homophobic anyways (see my last paragraph), or; 2. going to be making fun of you for sounding like an *old* person (maybe an old gay person) moreso than just a gay person. Particularly if the point of reference hits that media lag, where your way of speaking is associated with \"old\" media (sitcoms, tv, etc) where that voice is linked to more caricatured gay people.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "We have a young new male professor who doesn’t have an overtly gay voice but wore dangly earrings every day this semester and presented queer-ish. Don’t hide yourself, representation matters and all the students in the class were obsessed with him. Mostly because he’s a great teacher but also because he looks like us and talks like us and clearly isn’t afraid to be himself. Be yourself. Your students need to see you and those who have a problem with it need to get sorted out. That’s what college is for.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 6.025641 | 0 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 16,
"raw_score_ratio": 8,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 7053,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "We have a young new male professor who doesn’t have an overtly gay voice but wore dangly earrings every day this semester and presented queer-ish. Don’t hide yourself, representation matters and all the students in the class were obsessed with him. Mostly because he’s a great teacher but also because he looks like us and talks like us and clearly isn’t afraid to be himself. Be yourself. Your students need to see you and those who have a problem with it need to get sorted out. That’s what college is for.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I wouldn’t worry about it, and I certainly wouldn’t alter my voice. IMO the best thing you can do for yourself and your students is to just be yourself, especially since it’s usually pretty easy to sniff out folks pretending to be someone they’re not. Besides, people who whine about professors not acting/dressing/behaving like “real professors” are some of the worst people in academia. The less energy we devote to satisfying them, the better.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "We have a young new male professor who doesn’t have an overtly gay voice but wore dangly earrings every day this semester and presented queer-ish. Don’t hide yourself, representation matters and all the students in the class were obsessed with him. Mostly because he’s a great teacher but also because he looks like us and talks like us and clearly isn’t afraid to be himself. Be yourself. Your students need to see you and those who have a problem with it need to get sorted out. That’s what college is for.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 6.025641 | 0 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 16,
"raw_score_ratio": 8,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 6375,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My advice as a long-time professor is to not worry about it. There is no such thing as \"too gay\". Anyone who has a problem with how you sound is a bigot, and you shouldn't change yourself to accommodate bigots. That said, I suspect many of us do have a \"classroom voice\" which is perhaps louder, clearer, a bit more measured, and less casual than our typical speaking voice. Mine is geared toward being heard, understood, and respected. I would \\*not\\* change anything to accommodate someone who just had a problem with how I sound.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Many things are \"unprofessional\" not because there is anything wrong with them but because the people saying \"unprofessional\" are biased or bigoted. Your voice is influenced by multiple aspects of your physiology. It's not something you have a lot of choice in like clothing, punctuality, hygiene, etc.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My advice as a long-time professor is to not worry about it. There is no such thing as \"too gay\". Anyone who has a problem with how you sound is a bigot, and you shouldn't change yourself to accommodate bigots. That said, I suspect many of us do have a \"classroom voice\" which is perhaps louder, clearer, a bit more measured, and less casual than our typical speaking voice. Mine is geared toward being heard, understood, and respected. I would \\*not\\* change anything to accommodate someone who just had a problem with how I sound.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.705128 | 5.330128 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 11,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.375,
"raw_score_rejected": 8,
"seconds_difference": 7198,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My advice as a long-time professor is to not worry about it. There is no such thing as \"too gay\". Anyone who has a problem with how you sound is a bigot, and you shouldn't change yourself to accommodate bigots. That said, I suspect many of us do have a \"classroom voice\" which is perhaps louder, clearer, a bit more measured, and less casual than our typical speaking voice. Mine is geared toward being heard, understood, and respected. I would \\*not\\* change anything to accommodate someone who just had a problem with how I sound.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Please don’t worry about that. I promise there is nothing wrong with your voice.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My advice as a long-time professor is to not worry about it. There is no such thing as \"too gay\". Anyone who has a problem with how you sound is a bigot, and you shouldn't change yourself to accommodate bigots. That said, I suspect many of us do have a \"classroom voice\" which is perhaps louder, clearer, a bit more measured, and less casual than our typical speaking voice. Mine is geared toward being heard, understood, and respected. I would \\*not\\* change anything to accommodate someone who just had a problem with how I sound.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.705128 | 5.330128 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 11,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.375,
"raw_score_rejected": 8,
"seconds_difference": 4011,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My advice as a long-time professor is to not worry about it. There is no such thing as \"too gay\". Anyone who has a problem with how you sound is a bigot, and you shouldn't change yourself to accommodate bigots. That said, I suspect many of us do have a \"classroom voice\" which is perhaps louder, clearer, a bit more measured, and less casual than our typical speaking voice. Mine is geared toward being heard, understood, and respected. I would \\*not\\* change anything to accommodate someone who just had a problem with how I sound.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Students can find all manner of reasons to exercise prejudice if they want - sexuality, gender, disability, ethnicity. This is their problem and their closed mindedness means they miss out. You are an expert in your field. You worked hard to get there. They are lucky to have your expertise. You are speaking with your authentic voice. Do not let anyone else define you or your characteristics.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My advice as a long-time professor is to not worry about it. There is no such thing as \"too gay\". Anyone who has a problem with how you sound is a bigot, and you shouldn't change yourself to accommodate bigots. That said, I suspect many of us do have a \"classroom voice\" which is perhaps louder, clearer, a bit more measured, and less casual than our typical speaking voice. Mine is geared toward being heard, understood, and respected. I would \\*not\\* change anything to accommodate someone who just had a problem with how I sound.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.705128 | 4.871795 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 11,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.8333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 6,
"seconds_difference": 738,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My advice as a long-time professor is to not worry about it. There is no such thing as \"too gay\". Anyone who has a problem with how you sound is a bigot, and you shouldn't change yourself to accommodate bigots. That said, I suspect many of us do have a \"classroom voice\" which is perhaps louder, clearer, a bit more measured, and less casual than our typical speaking voice. Mine is geared toward being heard, understood, and respected. I would \\*not\\* change anything to accommodate someone who just had a problem with how I sound.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Be yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My advice as a long-time professor is to not worry about it. There is no such thing as \"too gay\". Anyone who has a problem with how you sound is a bigot, and you shouldn't change yourself to accommodate bigots. That said, I suspect many of us do have a \"classroom voice\" which is perhaps louder, clearer, a bit more measured, and less casual than our typical speaking voice. Mine is geared toward being heard, understood, and respected. I would \\*not\\* change anything to accommodate someone who just had a problem with how I sound.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.705128 | 3.955128 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 11,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.75,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 4992,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My advice as a long-time professor is to not worry about it. There is no such thing as \"too gay\". Anyone who has a problem with how you sound is a bigot, and you shouldn't change yourself to accommodate bigots. That said, I suspect many of us do have a \"classroom voice\" which is perhaps louder, clearer, a bit more measured, and less casual than our typical speaking voice. Mine is geared toward being heard, understood, and respected. I would \\*not\\* change anything to accommodate someone who just had a problem with how I sound.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There will always be homophobic people, but I don't think your voice itself can be \"unprofessional.\" I'm trans and gay and around the same age and I've been worried about my voice or mannerisms being seen as \"too feminine\" as well, but it's never been a problem for me while teaching. My main concern while teaching has always been being so close in age to my students. I've also had several professors who were openly gay, and as a student, I did not notice them having issues with this in the classroom (no snarky comments from students, they didn't seem less respected). I am unsure how being openly gay impacted them in terms of getting hired or dealing with other faculty. I imagine this depends on field and school/department.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My advice as a long-time professor is to not worry about it. There is no such thing as \"too gay\". Anyone who has a problem with how you sound is a bigot, and you shouldn't change yourself to accommodate bigots. That said, I suspect many of us do have a \"classroom voice\" which is perhaps louder, clearer, a bit more measured, and less casual than our typical speaking voice. Mine is geared toward being heard, understood, and respected. I would \\*not\\* change anything to accommodate someone who just had a problem with how I sound.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.705128 | 3.038462 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 11,
"raw_score_ratio": 3.6666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 6058,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My advice as a long-time professor is to not worry about it. There is no such thing as \"too gay\". Anyone who has a problem with how you sound is a bigot, and you shouldn't change yourself to accommodate bigots. That said, I suspect many of us do have a \"classroom voice\" which is perhaps louder, clearer, a bit more measured, and less casual than our typical speaking voice. Mine is geared toward being heard, understood, and respected. I would \\*not\\* change anything to accommodate someone who just had a problem with how I sound.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't worry about it. As long as your students can hear and understand your voice, you're good to go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My advice as a long-time professor is to not worry about it. There is no such thing as \"too gay\". Anyone who has a problem with how you sound is a bigot, and you shouldn't change yourself to accommodate bigots. That said, I suspect many of us do have a \"classroom voice\" which is perhaps louder, clearer, a bit more measured, and less casual than our typical speaking voice. Mine is geared toward being heard, understood, and respected. I would \\*not\\* change anything to accommodate someone who just had a problem with how I sound.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.705128 | 1.205128 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 11,
"raw_score_ratio": 5.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 8948,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My advice as a long-time professor is to not worry about it. There is no such thing as \"too gay\". Anyone who has a problem with how you sound is a bigot, and you shouldn't change yourself to accommodate bigots. That said, I suspect many of us do have a \"classroom voice\" which is perhaps louder, clearer, a bit more measured, and less casual than our typical speaking voice. Mine is geared toward being heard, understood, and respected. I would \\*not\\* change anything to accommodate someone who just had a problem with how I sound.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I (straight male) had an English professor in college for a short while who was gay and spoke with the stereotypical voice and mannerisms. He was a super cool guy and I didn’t think anything of it and it didn’t make me view him as less of an authority on the subject. I did have to drop his class because it was an elective and I had taken too much on that semester but it seemed like an interesting class (Shakespearean Lit, I believe) and he seemed like a cool guy. I think you’re good.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "My advice as a long-time professor is to not worry about it. There is no such thing as \"too gay\". Anyone who has a problem with how you sound is a bigot, and you shouldn't change yourself to accommodate bigots. That said, I suspect many of us do have a \"classroom voice\" which is perhaps louder, clearer, a bit more measured, and less casual than our typical speaking voice. Mine is geared toward being heard, understood, and respected. I would \\*not\\* change anything to accommodate someone who just had a problem with how I sound.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.705128 | 3.038462 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 11,
"raw_score_ratio": 3.6666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 5730,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 5.369963 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.1428571429,
"raw_score_rejected": 7,
"seconds_difference": 3267,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Students can find all manner of reasons to exercise prejudice if they want - sexuality, gender, disability, ethnicity. This is their problem and their closed mindedness means they miss out. You are an expert in your field. You worked hard to get there. They are lucky to have your expertise. You are speaking with your authentic voice. Do not let anyone else define you or your characteristics.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 5.179487 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 6,
"seconds_difference": 23164,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Some young men will be disrespectful to anyone who they don't see as inherently authorative (read: traditionally masculine). This is a small contingent and when/if problems arise just approach firmly.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 4.912821 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.6,
"raw_score_rejected": 5,
"seconds_difference": 17001,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I have a very perky cheerleader voice (valley girl if you’re old enough to know what that means) and I’ve always hated it. I recently needed speech therapy and thought seriously about adding vocal coaching to work on my accent but I researched and discovered it is REALLY hard work. A trans friend is doing it but she can only maintain for about 30 min because it’s so strenuous. For her it’s worth it to keep doing it but for those of us who are just mildly bothered….nah. I am sure it affects how misogynists see me and rank me but 🤷🏻♀️ they are probably also bothered by my clothes and other things about me that I can change but choose not to so fuck it",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 4.512821 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 2,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 15464,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 4.912821 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.6,
"raw_score_rejected": 5,
"seconds_difference": 5941,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Be yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 4.512821 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 2,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 27418,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "As you can probably imagine, the degree to which this sort of thing will be noticed will depend on where you are working. It is a form of (self) Othering, a practice that highlights differences, and in some places that will be viewed hostilely, and in some it will be fine and perhaps even seen as a beneficial form of diversity. If you wanted to teach at Bob Jones University or BYU, you probably would need to hide all of that — but presumably you have no interest in teaching at places that would be actively hostile towards who you are. Other than places that are overtly hostile to homosexuality, though, I'm not sure there's as much one can do to generalize. It is unlikely to be the case that \"deep south and midwest bad\" and \"coastal good\" — as I am sure you have found, there are broad trends, but there are also individual cases both positive and negative that can surprise one when it comes to prejudice, whether talking about faculty, administration, or students. I suspect you would probably get a sense pretty quickly when interviewing whether a place was going to react in a hostile way, but I don't know from any personal experience. My idealistic sense is that you should be who you are, and if they hire you, assume they hired all of you. And if it keeps you from getting a job, then it would have been a job in which you had to deny being who you were, which is not a job you would likely want. But I know that in practice these things are often more complicated than that (if your option is between \"no job\" and \"an oppressive job,\" for example, the answer might be as clear). This is a decision you need to make for yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 4.912821 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.6,
"raw_score_rejected": 5,
"seconds_difference": 17472,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 4.512821 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 2,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 3952,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There will always be homophobic people, but I don't think your voice itself can be \"unprofessional.\" I'm trans and gay and around the same age and I've been worried about my voice or mannerisms being seen as \"too feminine\" as well, but it's never been a problem for me while teaching. My main concern while teaching has always been being so close in age to my students. I've also had several professors who were openly gay, and as a student, I did not notice them having issues with this in the classroom (no snarky comments from students, they didn't seem less respected). I am unsure how being openly gay impacted them in terms of getting hired or dealing with other faculty. I imagine this depends on field and school/department.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 3.846154 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.6666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 28484,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You might like this documentary, it kind of explores some similar insecurities https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_I_Sound_Gay%3F A\"gay voice\" is an accent and thus mostly unconscious, and it's not something you could easily (or should necessarily have to change) Edit: there's an actual linguist in this thread as well, also read what they said",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 4.512821 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 2,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 21793,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "If that’s your voice, it’s your voice, no two ways about it. However, I understand that it’s obviously an uncertain feeling with students but honestly I’ve had gay teachers and I’ve never thought them unprofessional or less than anyone straight because of their more effeminate voices. Inevitably, suppressing that voice is also probably not good for your own mental health and may result in some internalized homophobia.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 3.846154 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.6666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 14805,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I took a course this semester with a male professor with a somewhat feminine voice. I don’t think it was a problem and even think it made him seem more approachable. Ultimately, I think your responses to questions/input from students is much more important to determining how you are perceived than your voice.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 3.846154 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.6666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 7123,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't worry about it. As long as your students can hear and understand your voice, you're good to go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 2.512821 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 4,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 31374,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I (straight male) had an English professor in college for a short while who was gay and spoke with the stereotypical voice and mannerisms. He was a super cool guy and I didn’t think anything of it and it didn’t make me view him as less of an authority on the subject. I did have to drop his class because it was an elective and I had taken too much on that semester but it seemed like an interesting class (Shakespearean Lit, I believe) and he seemed like a cool guy. I think you’re good.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 3.846154 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.6666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 28156,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I think it depends on the country, but in my UK experience, certain students will love you way more if you're obviously gay. I am a dykey-looking person with short hair and button up shirts, and my QM students get to know me a lot better because I stick out to them, unlike the other TAs. I would also say that while in uni, the yeargroup's favourite lecturer was a wonderful camp gay guy who also happened to be amazing at his job and very friendly. So, if you're in a resonably accepting environment, I would say that students and young people are nothing to worry about. I get a bit more weirdness from older faculty members, but even then, I think they mostly just panic and think they have to behave a specific way around me.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 2.512821 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 4,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 18846,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ben Munson is the one doing legit acoustic work on this phenomenon. If you're curious enough for a deep dive it might be worth a read. Genuinely, though, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I can imagine there may be some areas of the world or pockets in institutions where your voice would negatively affect your job prospects, but those are the exact same places where your *actually being gay* would be a much bigger issue, and not likely at the top of your list for that reason anyways. From the other perspective (IE of your students), I would worry about it even less. Speech changes all the time, and there are indications that the \"gay voice\" you're using isn't the same as the \"gay voice\" being used by teens, nor will it be the one used by 20-somethings when you're 40-something. Particularly in English-speaking countries in the Global North(tm), gender and sexuality and how it related to identity is in a massive flux right now anyways and we're still not sure how that's going to shake out in terms of style or dialect shifts. Students that are going to disrespect you because you sound gay are either 1. homophobic anyways (see my last paragraph), or; 2. going to be making fun of you for sounding like an *old* person (maybe an old gay person) moreso than just a gay person. Particularly if the point of reference hits that media lag, where your way of speaking is associated with \"old\" media (sitcoms, tv, etc) where that voice is linked to more caricatured gay people.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 2.512821 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 4,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 11846,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I wouldn’t worry about it, and I certainly wouldn’t alter my voice. IMO the best thing you can do for yourself and your students is to just be yourself, especially since it’s usually pretty easy to sniff out folks pretending to be someone they’re not. Besides, people who whine about professors not acting/dressing/behaving like “real professors” are some of the worst people in academia. The less energy we devote to satisfying them, the better.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I am super out (university literature in Australia) and have run into some confusion, but other than that it's been fine (touch wood). I think it's important to remember that the students are diverse and the teaching staff should reflect that. We have a lot of queer lecturers and tutors in my faculty and no-one is closeted about it. The big thing is that you set the vibe as the prof. So, when you just are at the front there teaching with your super gay self - you are establishing what is professional, what is academic, what is smart. You're an authority. I know it can be hard going into environments where you might have felt uncomfortable as a student - but as a prof you now have the power to change that space. I think it's absolutely crucial that we are open with our students about what our subject positions are because many of them will think things like, \"academia isn't for me because I'm X\". If we, as academics present them with more possibilities, then that is super cool! Also, it's so exhausting to try to act straight! Spend that mental energy on teaching! Good luck, OP!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 2.512821 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 4,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 11168,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Many things are \"unprofessional\" not because there is anything wrong with them but because the people saying \"unprofessional\" are biased or bigoted. Your voice is influenced by multiple aspects of your physiology. It's not something you have a lot of choice in like clothing, punctuality, hygiene, etc.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't worry about it. As long as your students can hear and understand your voice, you're good to go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Many things are \"unprofessional\" not because there is anything wrong with them but because the people saying \"unprofessional\" are biased or bigoted. Your voice is influenced by multiple aspects of your physiology. It's not something you have a lot of choice in like clothing, punctuality, hygiene, etc.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 2.512821 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 4,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 1750,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Students can find all manner of reasons to exercise prejudice if they want - sexuality, gender, disability, ethnicity. This is their problem and their closed mindedness means they miss out. You are an expert in your field. You worked hard to get there. They are lucky to have your expertise. You are speaking with your authentic voice. Do not let anyone else define you or your characteristics.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.448718 | 5.282051 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 7,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.1666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 6,
"seconds_difference": 19897,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Some young men will be disrespectful to anyone who they don't see as inherently authorative (read: traditionally masculine). This is a small contingent and when/if problems arise just approach firmly.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.448718 | 5.048718 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 7,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.4,
"raw_score_rejected": 5,
"seconds_difference": 13734,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I have a very perky cheerleader voice (valley girl if you’re old enough to know what that means) and I’ve always hated it. I recently needed speech therapy and thought seriously about adding vocal coaching to work on my accent but I researched and discovered it is REALLY hard work. A trans friend is doing it but she can only maintain for about 30 min because it’s so strenuous. For her it’s worth it to keep doing it but for those of us who are just mildly bothered….nah. I am sure it affects how misogynists see me and rank me but 🤷🏻♀️ they are probably also bothered by my clothes and other things about me that I can change but choose not to so fuck it",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.448718 | 4.698718 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 7,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.75,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 12197,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.448718 | 5.048718 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 7,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.4,
"raw_score_rejected": 5,
"seconds_difference": 2674,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Be yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.448718 | 4.698718 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 7,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.75,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 24151,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "As you can probably imagine, the degree to which this sort of thing will be noticed will depend on where you are working. It is a form of (self) Othering, a practice that highlights differences, and in some places that will be viewed hostilely, and in some it will be fine and perhaps even seen as a beneficial form of diversity. If you wanted to teach at Bob Jones University or BYU, you probably would need to hide all of that — but presumably you have no interest in teaching at places that would be actively hostile towards who you are. Other than places that are overtly hostile to homosexuality, though, I'm not sure there's as much one can do to generalize. It is unlikely to be the case that \"deep south and midwest bad\" and \"coastal good\" — as I am sure you have found, there are broad trends, but there are also individual cases both positive and negative that can surprise one when it comes to prejudice, whether talking about faculty, administration, or students. I suspect you would probably get a sense pretty quickly when interviewing whether a place was going to react in a hostile way, but I don't know from any personal experience. My idealistic sense is that you should be who you are, and if they hire you, assume they hired all of you. And if it keeps you from getting a job, then it would have been a job in which you had to deny being who you were, which is not a job you would likely want. But I know that in practice these things are often more complicated than that (if your option is between \"no job\" and \"an oppressive job,\" for example, the answer might be as clear). This is a decision you need to make for yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.448718 | 5.048718 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 7,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.4,
"raw_score_rejected": 5,
"seconds_difference": 14205,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.448718 | 4.698718 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 7,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.75,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 685,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There will always be homophobic people, but I don't think your voice itself can be \"unprofessional.\" I'm trans and gay and around the same age and I've been worried about my voice or mannerisms being seen as \"too feminine\" as well, but it's never been a problem for me while teaching. My main concern while teaching has always been being so close in age to my students. I've also had several professors who were openly gay, and as a student, I did not notice them having issues with this in the classroom (no snarky comments from students, they didn't seem less respected). I am unsure how being openly gay impacted them in terms of getting hired or dealing with other faculty. I imagine this depends on field and school/department.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.448718 | 4.115385 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 7,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 25217,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You might like this documentary, it kind of explores some similar insecurities https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_I_Sound_Gay%3F A\"gay voice\" is an accent and thus mostly unconscious, and it's not something you could easily (or should necessarily have to change) Edit: there's an actual linguist in this thread as well, also read what they said",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.448718 | 4.698718 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 7,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.75,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 18526,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "If that’s your voice, it’s your voice, no two ways about it. However, I understand that it’s obviously an uncertain feeling with students but honestly I’ve had gay teachers and I’ve never thought them unprofessional or less than anyone straight because of their more effeminate voices. Inevitably, suppressing that voice is also probably not good for your own mental health and may result in some internalized homophobia.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.448718 | 4.115385 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 7,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 11538,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I took a course this semester with a male professor with a somewhat feminine voice. I don’t think it was a problem and even think it made him seem more approachable. Ultimately, I think your responses to questions/input from students is much more important to determining how you are perceived than your voice.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.448718 | 4.115385 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 7,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 3856,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't worry about it. As long as your students can hear and understand your voice, you're good to go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.448718 | 2.948718 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 7,
"raw_score_ratio": 3.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 28107,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I (straight male) had an English professor in college for a short while who was gay and spoke with the stereotypical voice and mannerisms. He was a super cool guy and I didn’t think anything of it and it didn’t make me view him as less of an authority on the subject. I did have to drop his class because it was an elective and I had taken too much on that semester but it seemed like an interesting class (Shakespearean Lit, I believe) and he seemed like a cool guy. I think you’re good.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.448718 | 4.115385 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 7,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 24889,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I think it depends on the country, but in my UK experience, certain students will love you way more if you're obviously gay. I am a dykey-looking person with short hair and button up shirts, and my QM students get to know me a lot better because I stick out to them, unlike the other TAs. I would also say that while in uni, the yeargroup's favourite lecturer was a wonderful camp gay guy who also happened to be amazing at his job and very friendly. So, if you're in a resonably accepting environment, I would say that students and young people are nothing to worry about. I get a bit more weirdness from older faculty members, but even then, I think they mostly just panic and think they have to behave a specific way around me.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.448718 | 2.948718 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 7,
"raw_score_ratio": 3.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 15579,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ben Munson is the one doing legit acoustic work on this phenomenon. If you're curious enough for a deep dive it might be worth a read. Genuinely, though, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I can imagine there may be some areas of the world or pockets in institutions where your voice would negatively affect your job prospects, but those are the exact same places where your *actually being gay* would be a much bigger issue, and not likely at the top of your list for that reason anyways. From the other perspective (IE of your students), I would worry about it even less. Speech changes all the time, and there are indications that the \"gay voice\" you're using isn't the same as the \"gay voice\" being used by teens, nor will it be the one used by 20-somethings when you're 40-something. Particularly in English-speaking countries in the Global North(tm), gender and sexuality and how it related to identity is in a massive flux right now anyways and we're still not sure how that's going to shake out in terms of style or dialect shifts. Students that are going to disrespect you because you sound gay are either 1. homophobic anyways (see my last paragraph), or; 2. going to be making fun of you for sounding like an *old* person (maybe an old gay person) moreso than just a gay person. Particularly if the point of reference hits that media lag, where your way of speaking is associated with \"old\" media (sitcoms, tv, etc) where that voice is linked to more caricatured gay people.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.448718 | 2.948718 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 7,
"raw_score_ratio": 3.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 8579,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I wouldn’t worry about it, and I certainly wouldn’t alter my voice. IMO the best thing you can do for yourself and your students is to just be yourself, especially since it’s usually pretty easy to sniff out folks pretending to be someone they’re not. Besides, people who whine about professors not acting/dressing/behaving like “real professors” are some of the worst people in academia. The less energy we devote to satisfying them, the better.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Had a gay filipino math professor. voice was extra flamboyantly gay. coolest dude ever and knew some wicked math shortcuts",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.448718 | 2.948718 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 7,
"raw_score_ratio": 3.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 7901,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Please don’t worry about that. I promise there is nothing wrong with your voice.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Be yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Please don’t worry about that. I promise there is nothing wrong with your voice.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 4.512821 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 2,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 981,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Please don’t worry about that. I promise there is nothing wrong with your voice.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There will always be homophobic people, but I don't think your voice itself can be \"unprofessional.\" I'm trans and gay and around the same age and I've been worried about my voice or mannerisms being seen as \"too feminine\" as well, but it's never been a problem for me while teaching. My main concern while teaching has always been being so close in age to my students. I've also had several professors who were openly gay, and as a student, I did not notice them having issues with this in the classroom (no snarky comments from students, they didn't seem less respected). I am unsure how being openly gay impacted them in terms of getting hired or dealing with other faculty. I imagine this depends on field and school/department.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Please don’t worry about that. I promise there is nothing wrong with your voice.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 3.846154 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.6666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 2047,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Please don’t worry about that. I promise there is nothing wrong with your voice.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't worry about it. As long as your students can hear and understand your voice, you're good to go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Please don’t worry about that. I promise there is nothing wrong with your voice.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 2.512821 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 4,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 4937,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Please don’t worry about that. I promise there is nothing wrong with your voice.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I (straight male) had an English professor in college for a short while who was gay and spoke with the stereotypical voice and mannerisms. He was a super cool guy and I didn’t think anything of it and it didn’t make me view him as less of an authority on the subject. I did have to drop his class because it was an elective and I had taken too much on that semester but it seemed like an interesting class (Shakespearean Lit, I believe) and he seemed like a cool guy. I think you’re good.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Please don’t worry about that. I promise there is nothing wrong with your voice.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.512821 | 3.846154 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 8,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.6666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 1719,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Students can find all manner of reasons to exercise prejudice if they want - sexuality, gender, disability, ethnicity. This is their problem and their closed mindedness means they miss out. You are an expert in your field. You worked hard to get there. They are lucky to have your expertise. You are speaking with your authentic voice. Do not let anyone else define you or your characteristics.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Be yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Students can find all manner of reasons to exercise prejudice if they want - sexuality, gender, disability, ethnicity. This is their problem and their closed mindedness means they miss out. You are an expert in your field. You worked hard to get there. They are lucky to have your expertise. You are speaking with your authentic voice. Do not let anyone else define you or your characteristics.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.384615 | 4.884615 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 6,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 4254,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Students can find all manner of reasons to exercise prejudice if they want - sexuality, gender, disability, ethnicity. This is their problem and their closed mindedness means they miss out. You are an expert in your field. You worked hard to get there. They are lucky to have your expertise. You are speaking with your authentic voice. Do not let anyone else define you or your characteristics.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There will always be homophobic people, but I don't think your voice itself can be \"unprofessional.\" I'm trans and gay and around the same age and I've been worried about my voice or mannerisms being seen as \"too feminine\" as well, but it's never been a problem for me while teaching. My main concern while teaching has always been being so close in age to my students. I've also had several professors who were openly gay, and as a student, I did not notice them having issues with this in the classroom (no snarky comments from students, they didn't seem less respected). I am unsure how being openly gay impacted them in terms of getting hired or dealing with other faculty. I imagine this depends on field and school/department.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Students can find all manner of reasons to exercise prejudice if they want - sexuality, gender, disability, ethnicity. This is their problem and their closed mindedness means they miss out. You are an expert in your field. You worked hard to get there. They are lucky to have your expertise. You are speaking with your authentic voice. Do not let anyone else define you or your characteristics.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.384615 | 4.384615 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 6,
"raw_score_ratio": 2,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 5320,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Students can find all manner of reasons to exercise prejudice if they want - sexuality, gender, disability, ethnicity. This is their problem and their closed mindedness means they miss out. You are an expert in your field. You worked hard to get there. They are lucky to have your expertise. You are speaking with your authentic voice. Do not let anyone else define you or your characteristics.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't worry about it. As long as your students can hear and understand your voice, you're good to go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Students can find all manner of reasons to exercise prejudice if they want - sexuality, gender, disability, ethnicity. This is their problem and their closed mindedness means they miss out. You are an expert in your field. You worked hard to get there. They are lucky to have your expertise. You are speaking with your authentic voice. Do not let anyone else define you or your characteristics.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.384615 | 3.384615 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 6,
"raw_score_ratio": 3,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 8210,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Students can find all manner of reasons to exercise prejudice if they want - sexuality, gender, disability, ethnicity. This is their problem and their closed mindedness means they miss out. You are an expert in your field. You worked hard to get there. They are lucky to have your expertise. You are speaking with your authentic voice. Do not let anyone else define you or your characteristics.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I (straight male) had an English professor in college for a short while who was gay and spoke with the stereotypical voice and mannerisms. He was a super cool guy and I didn’t think anything of it and it didn’t make me view him as less of an authority on the subject. I did have to drop his class because it was an elective and I had taken too much on that semester but it seemed like an interesting class (Shakespearean Lit, I believe) and he seemed like a cool guy. I think you’re good.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Students can find all manner of reasons to exercise prejudice if they want - sexuality, gender, disability, ethnicity. This is their problem and their closed mindedness means they miss out. You are an expert in your field. You worked hard to get there. They are lucky to have your expertise. You are speaking with your authentic voice. Do not let anyone else define you or your characteristics.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.384615 | 4.384615 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 6,
"raw_score_ratio": 2,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 4992,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Some young men will be disrespectful to anyone who they don't see as inherently authorative (read: traditionally masculine). This is a small contingent and when/if problems arise just approach firmly.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Be yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Some young men will be disrespectful to anyone who they don't see as inherently authorative (read: traditionally masculine). This is a small contingent and when/if problems arise just approach firmly.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 5.070513 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.25,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 10417,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Some young men will be disrespectful to anyone who they don't see as inherently authorative (read: traditionally masculine). This is a small contingent and when/if problems arise just approach firmly.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There will always be homophobic people, but I don't think your voice itself can be \"unprofessional.\" I'm trans and gay and around the same age and I've been worried about my voice or mannerisms being seen as \"too feminine\" as well, but it's never been a problem for me while teaching. My main concern while teaching has always been being so close in age to my students. I've also had several professors who were openly gay, and as a student, I did not notice them having issues with this in the classroom (no snarky comments from students, they didn't seem less respected). I am unsure how being openly gay impacted them in terms of getting hired or dealing with other faculty. I imagine this depends on field and school/department.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Some young men will be disrespectful to anyone who they don't see as inherently authorative (read: traditionally masculine). This is a small contingent and when/if problems arise just approach firmly.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 4.653846 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.6666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 11483,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Some young men will be disrespectful to anyone who they don't see as inherently authorative (read: traditionally masculine). This is a small contingent and when/if problems arise just approach firmly.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You might like this documentary, it kind of explores some similar insecurities https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_I_Sound_Gay%3F A\"gay voice\" is an accent and thus mostly unconscious, and it's not something you could easily (or should necessarily have to change) Edit: there's an actual linguist in this thread as well, also read what they said",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Some young men will be disrespectful to anyone who they don't see as inherently authorative (read: traditionally masculine). This is a small contingent and when/if problems arise just approach firmly.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 5.070513 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.25,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 4792,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Some young men will be disrespectful to anyone who they don't see as inherently authorative (read: traditionally masculine). This is a small contingent and when/if problems arise just approach firmly.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't worry about it. As long as your students can hear and understand your voice, you're good to go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Some young men will be disrespectful to anyone who they don't see as inherently authorative (read: traditionally masculine). This is a small contingent and when/if problems arise just approach firmly.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 3.820513 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 14373,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Some young men will be disrespectful to anyone who they don't see as inherently authorative (read: traditionally masculine). This is a small contingent and when/if problems arise just approach firmly.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I (straight male) had an English professor in college for a short while who was gay and spoke with the stereotypical voice and mannerisms. He was a super cool guy and I didn’t think anything of it and it didn’t make me view him as less of an authority on the subject. I did have to drop his class because it was an elective and I had taken too much on that semester but it seemed like an interesting class (Shakespearean Lit, I believe) and he seemed like a cool guy. I think you’re good.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Some young men will be disrespectful to anyone who they don't see as inherently authorative (read: traditionally masculine). This is a small contingent and when/if problems arise just approach firmly.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 4.653846 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.6666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 11155,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Some young men will be disrespectful to anyone who they don't see as inherently authorative (read: traditionally masculine). This is a small contingent and when/if problems arise just approach firmly.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I think it depends on the country, but in my UK experience, certain students will love you way more if you're obviously gay. I am a dykey-looking person with short hair and button up shirts, and my QM students get to know me a lot better because I stick out to them, unlike the other TAs. I would also say that while in uni, the yeargroup's favourite lecturer was a wonderful camp gay guy who also happened to be amazing at his job and very friendly. So, if you're in a resonably accepting environment, I would say that students and young people are nothing to worry about. I get a bit more weirdness from older faculty members, but even then, I think they mostly just panic and think they have to behave a specific way around me.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Some young men will be disrespectful to anyone who they don't see as inherently authorative (read: traditionally masculine). This is a small contingent and when/if problems arise just approach firmly.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 3.820513 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 1845,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I have a very perky cheerleader voice (valley girl if you’re old enough to know what that means) and I’ve always hated it. I recently needed speech therapy and thought seriously about adding vocal coaching to work on my accent but I researched and discovered it is REALLY hard work. A trans friend is doing it but she can only maintain for about 30 min because it’s so strenuous. For her it’s worth it to keep doing it but for those of us who are just mildly bothered….nah. I am sure it affects how misogynists see me and rank me but 🤷🏻♀️ they are probably also bothered by my clothes and other things about me that I can change but choose not to so fuck it",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 5.070513 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.25,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 9523,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I have a very perky cheerleader voice (valley girl if you’re old enough to know what that means) and I’ve always hated it. I recently needed speech therapy and thought seriously about adding vocal coaching to work on my accent but I researched and discovered it is REALLY hard work. A trans friend is doing it but she can only maintain for about 30 min because it’s so strenuous. For her it’s worth it to keep doing it but for those of us who are just mildly bothered….nah. I am sure it affects how misogynists see me and rank me but 🤷🏻♀️ they are probably also bothered by my clothes and other things about me that I can change but choose not to so fuck it",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There will always be homophobic people, but I don't think your voice itself can be \"unprofessional.\" I'm trans and gay and around the same age and I've been worried about my voice or mannerisms being seen as \"too feminine\" as well, but it's never been a problem for me while teaching. My main concern while teaching has always been being so close in age to my students. I've also had several professors who were openly gay, and as a student, I did not notice them having issues with this in the classroom (no snarky comments from students, they didn't seem less respected). I am unsure how being openly gay impacted them in terms of getting hired or dealing with other faculty. I imagine this depends on field and school/department.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I have a very perky cheerleader voice (valley girl if you’re old enough to know what that means) and I’ve always hated it. I recently needed speech therapy and thought seriously about adding vocal coaching to work on my accent but I researched and discovered it is REALLY hard work. A trans friend is doing it but she can only maintain for about 30 min because it’s so strenuous. For her it’s worth it to keep doing it but for those of us who are just mildly bothered….nah. I am sure it affects how misogynists see me and rank me but 🤷🏻♀️ they are probably also bothered by my clothes and other things about me that I can change but choose not to so fuck it",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.923077 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 13020,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I have a very perky cheerleader voice (valley girl if you’re old enough to know what that means) and I’ve always hated it. I recently needed speech therapy and thought seriously about adding vocal coaching to work on my accent but I researched and discovered it is REALLY hard work. A trans friend is doing it but she can only maintain for about 30 min because it’s so strenuous. For her it’s worth it to keep doing it but for those of us who are just mildly bothered….nah. I am sure it affects how misogynists see me and rank me but 🤷🏻♀️ they are probably also bothered by my clothes and other things about me that I can change but choose not to so fuck it",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't worry about it. As long as your students can hear and understand your voice, you're good to go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I have a very perky cheerleader voice (valley girl if you’re old enough to know what that means) and I’ve always hated it. I recently needed speech therapy and thought seriously about adding vocal coaching to work on my accent but I researched and discovered it is REALLY hard work. A trans friend is doing it but she can only maintain for about 30 min because it’s so strenuous. For her it’s worth it to keep doing it but for those of us who are just mildly bothered….nah. I am sure it affects how misogynists see me and rank me but 🤷🏻♀️ they are probably also bothered by my clothes and other things about me that I can change but choose not to so fuck it",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.25641 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 2,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 15910,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I have a very perky cheerleader voice (valley girl if you’re old enough to know what that means) and I’ve always hated it. I recently needed speech therapy and thought seriously about adding vocal coaching to work on my accent but I researched and discovered it is REALLY hard work. A trans friend is doing it but she can only maintain for about 30 min because it’s so strenuous. For her it’s worth it to keep doing it but for those of us who are just mildly bothered….nah. I am sure it affects how misogynists see me and rank me but 🤷🏻♀️ they are probably also bothered by my clothes and other things about me that I can change but choose not to so fuck it",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I (straight male) had an English professor in college for a short while who was gay and spoke with the stereotypical voice and mannerisms. He was a super cool guy and I didn’t think anything of it and it didn’t make me view him as less of an authority on the subject. I did have to drop his class because it was an elective and I had taken too much on that semester but it seemed like an interesting class (Shakespearean Lit, I believe) and he seemed like a cool guy. I think you’re good.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I have a very perky cheerleader voice (valley girl if you’re old enough to know what that means) and I’ve always hated it. I recently needed speech therapy and thought seriously about adding vocal coaching to work on my accent but I researched and discovered it is REALLY hard work. A trans friend is doing it but she can only maintain for about 30 min because it’s so strenuous. For her it’s worth it to keep doing it but for those of us who are just mildly bothered….nah. I am sure it affects how misogynists see me and rank me but 🤷🏻♀️ they are probably also bothered by my clothes and other things about me that I can change but choose not to so fuck it",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.923077 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 12692,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I have a very perky cheerleader voice (valley girl if you’re old enough to know what that means) and I’ve always hated it. I recently needed speech therapy and thought seriously about adding vocal coaching to work on my accent but I researched and discovered it is REALLY hard work. A trans friend is doing it but she can only maintain for about 30 min because it’s so strenuous. For her it’s worth it to keep doing it but for those of us who are just mildly bothered….nah. I am sure it affects how misogynists see me and rank me but 🤷🏻♀️ they are probably also bothered by my clothes and other things about me that I can change but choose not to so fuck it",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I think it depends on the country, but in my UK experience, certain students will love you way more if you're obviously gay. I am a dykey-looking person with short hair and button up shirts, and my QM students get to know me a lot better because I stick out to them, unlike the other TAs. I would also say that while in uni, the yeargroup's favourite lecturer was a wonderful camp gay guy who also happened to be amazing at his job and very friendly. So, if you're in a resonably accepting environment, I would say that students and young people are nothing to worry about. I get a bit more weirdness from older faculty members, but even then, I think they mostly just panic and think they have to behave a specific way around me.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I have a very perky cheerleader voice (valley girl if you’re old enough to know what that means) and I’ve always hated it. I recently needed speech therapy and thought seriously about adding vocal coaching to work on my accent but I researched and discovered it is REALLY hard work. A trans friend is doing it but she can only maintain for about 30 min because it’s so strenuous. For her it’s worth it to keep doing it but for those of us who are just mildly bothered….nah. I am sure it affects how misogynists see me and rank me but 🤷🏻♀️ they are probably also bothered by my clothes and other things about me that I can change but choose not to so fuck it",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.25641 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 2,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 3382,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Be yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 5.070513 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.25,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 21477,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There will always be homophobic people, but I don't think your voice itself can be \"unprofessional.\" I'm trans and gay and around the same age and I've been worried about my voice or mannerisms being seen as \"too feminine\" as well, but it's never been a problem for me while teaching. My main concern while teaching has always been being so close in age to my students. I've also had several professors who were openly gay, and as a student, I did not notice them having issues with this in the classroom (no snarky comments from students, they didn't seem less respected). I am unsure how being openly gay impacted them in terms of getting hired or dealing with other faculty. I imagine this depends on field and school/department.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 4.653846 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.6666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 22543,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You might like this documentary, it kind of explores some similar insecurities https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_I_Sound_Gay%3F A\"gay voice\" is an accent and thus mostly unconscious, and it's not something you could easily (or should necessarily have to change) Edit: there's an actual linguist in this thread as well, also read what they said",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 5.070513 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.25,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 15852,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "If that’s your voice, it’s your voice, no two ways about it. However, I understand that it’s obviously an uncertain feeling with students but honestly I’ve had gay teachers and I’ve never thought them unprofessional or less than anyone straight because of their more effeminate voices. Inevitably, suppressing that voice is also probably not good for your own mental health and may result in some internalized homophobia.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 4.653846 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.6666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 8864,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I took a course this semester with a male professor with a somewhat feminine voice. I don’t think it was a problem and even think it made him seem more approachable. Ultimately, I think your responses to questions/input from students is much more important to determining how you are perceived than your voice.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 4.653846 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.6666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 1182,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't worry about it. As long as your students can hear and understand your voice, you're good to go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 3.820513 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 25433,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I (straight male) had an English professor in college for a short while who was gay and spoke with the stereotypical voice and mannerisms. He was a super cool guy and I didn’t think anything of it and it didn’t make me view him as less of an authority on the subject. I did have to drop his class because it was an elective and I had taken too much on that semester but it seemed like an interesting class (Shakespearean Lit, I believe) and he seemed like a cool guy. I think you’re good.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 4.653846 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.6666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 22215,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I think it depends on the country, but in my UK experience, certain students will love you way more if you're obviously gay. I am a dykey-looking person with short hair and button up shirts, and my QM students get to know me a lot better because I stick out to them, unlike the other TAs. I would also say that while in uni, the yeargroup's favourite lecturer was a wonderful camp gay guy who also happened to be amazing at his job and very friendly. So, if you're in a resonably accepting environment, I would say that students and young people are nothing to worry about. I get a bit more weirdness from older faculty members, but even then, I think they mostly just panic and think they have to behave a specific way around me.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 3.820513 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 12905,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ben Munson is the one doing legit acoustic work on this phenomenon. If you're curious enough for a deep dive it might be worth a read. Genuinely, though, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I can imagine there may be some areas of the world or pockets in institutions where your voice would negatively affect your job prospects, but those are the exact same places where your *actually being gay* would be a much bigger issue, and not likely at the top of your list for that reason anyways. From the other perspective (IE of your students), I would worry about it even less. Speech changes all the time, and there are indications that the \"gay voice\" you're using isn't the same as the \"gay voice\" being used by teens, nor will it be the one used by 20-somethings when you're 40-something. Particularly in English-speaking countries in the Global North(tm), gender and sexuality and how it related to identity is in a massive flux right now anyways and we're still not sure how that's going to shake out in terms of style or dialect shifts. Students that are going to disrespect you because you sound gay are either 1. homophobic anyways (see my last paragraph), or; 2. going to be making fun of you for sounding like an *old* person (maybe an old gay person) moreso than just a gay person. Particularly if the point of reference hits that media lag, where your way of speaking is associated with \"old\" media (sitcoms, tv, etc) where that voice is linked to more caricatured gay people.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 3.820513 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 5905,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I wouldn’t worry about it, and I certainly wouldn’t alter my voice. IMO the best thing you can do for yourself and your students is to just be yourself, especially since it’s usually pretty easy to sniff out folks pretending to be someone they’re not. Besides, people who whine about professors not acting/dressing/behaving like “real professors” are some of the worst people in academia. The less energy we devote to satisfying them, the better.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Adding your country would be relevant information. In the US/Canada/UK few will care. In other parts of the world it might be more of an issue.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 3.820513 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 5227,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "As you can probably imagine, the degree to which this sort of thing will be noticed will depend on where you are working. It is a form of (self) Othering, a practice that highlights differences, and in some places that will be viewed hostilely, and in some it will be fine and perhaps even seen as a beneficial form of diversity. If you wanted to teach at Bob Jones University or BYU, you probably would need to hide all of that — but presumably you have no interest in teaching at places that would be actively hostile towards who you are. Other than places that are overtly hostile to homosexuality, though, I'm not sure there's as much one can do to generalize. It is unlikely to be the case that \"deep south and midwest bad\" and \"coastal good\" — as I am sure you have found, there are broad trends, but there are also individual cases both positive and negative that can surprise one when it comes to prejudice, whether talking about faculty, administration, or students. I suspect you would probably get a sense pretty quickly when interviewing whether a place was going to react in a hostile way, but I don't know from any personal experience. My idealistic sense is that you should be who you are, and if they hire you, assume they hired all of you. And if it keeps you from getting a job, then it would have been a job in which you had to deny being who you were, which is not a job you would likely want. But I know that in practice these things are often more complicated than that (if your option is between \"no job\" and \"an oppressive job,\" for example, the answer might be as clear). This is a decision you need to make for yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Be yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "As you can probably imagine, the degree to which this sort of thing will be noticed will depend on where you are working. It is a form of (self) Othering, a practice that highlights differences, and in some places that will be viewed hostilely, and in some it will be fine and perhaps even seen as a beneficial form of diversity. If you wanted to teach at Bob Jones University or BYU, you probably would need to hide all of that — but presumably you have no interest in teaching at places that would be actively hostile towards who you are. Other than places that are overtly hostile to homosexuality, though, I'm not sure there's as much one can do to generalize. It is unlikely to be the case that \"deep south and midwest bad\" and \"coastal good\" — as I am sure you have found, there are broad trends, but there are also individual cases both positive and negative that can surprise one when it comes to prejudice, whether talking about faculty, administration, or students. I suspect you would probably get a sense pretty quickly when interviewing whether a place was going to react in a hostile way, but I don't know from any personal experience. My idealistic sense is that you should be who you are, and if they hire you, assume they hired all of you. And if it keeps you from getting a job, then it would have been a job in which you had to deny being who you were, which is not a job you would likely want. But I know that in practice these things are often more complicated than that (if your option is between \"no job\" and \"an oppressive job,\" for example, the answer might be as clear). This is a decision you need to make for yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 5.070513 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.25,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 9946,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Be yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There will always be homophobic people, but I don't think your voice itself can be \"unprofessional.\" I'm trans and gay and around the same age and I've been worried about my voice or mannerisms being seen as \"too feminine\" as well, but it's never been a problem for me while teaching. My main concern while teaching has always been being so close in age to my students. I've also had several professors who were openly gay, and as a student, I did not notice them having issues with this in the classroom (no snarky comments from students, they didn't seem less respected). I am unsure how being openly gay impacted them in terms of getting hired or dealing with other faculty. I imagine this depends on field and school/department.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Be yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.923077 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 1066,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Be yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't worry about it. As long as your students can hear and understand your voice, you're good to go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Be yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.25641 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 2,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 3956,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Be yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I (straight male) had an English professor in college for a short while who was gay and spoke with the stereotypical voice and mannerisms. He was a super cool guy and I didn’t think anything of it and it didn’t make me view him as less of an authority on the subject. I did have to drop his class because it was an elective and I had taken too much on that semester but it seemed like an interesting class (Shakespearean Lit, I believe) and he seemed like a cool guy. I think you’re good.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Be yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.923077 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 738,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "As you can probably imagine, the degree to which this sort of thing will be noticed will depend on where you are working. It is a form of (self) Othering, a practice that highlights differences, and in some places that will be viewed hostilely, and in some it will be fine and perhaps even seen as a beneficial form of diversity. If you wanted to teach at Bob Jones University or BYU, you probably would need to hide all of that — but presumably you have no interest in teaching at places that would be actively hostile towards who you are. Other than places that are overtly hostile to homosexuality, though, I'm not sure there's as much one can do to generalize. It is unlikely to be the case that \"deep south and midwest bad\" and \"coastal good\" — as I am sure you have found, there are broad trends, but there are also individual cases both positive and negative that can surprise one when it comes to prejudice, whether talking about faculty, administration, or students. I suspect you would probably get a sense pretty quickly when interviewing whether a place was going to react in a hostile way, but I don't know from any personal experience. My idealistic sense is that you should be who you are, and if they hire you, assume they hired all of you. And if it keeps you from getting a job, then it would have been a job in which you had to deny being who you were, which is not a job you would likely want. But I know that in practice these things are often more complicated than that (if your option is between \"no job\" and \"an oppressive job,\" for example, the answer might be as clear). This is a decision you need to make for yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There will always be homophobic people, but I don't think your voice itself can be \"unprofessional.\" I'm trans and gay and around the same age and I've been worried about my voice or mannerisms being seen as \"too feminine\" as well, but it's never been a problem for me while teaching. My main concern while teaching has always been being so close in age to my students. I've also had several professors who were openly gay, and as a student, I did not notice them having issues with this in the classroom (no snarky comments from students, they didn't seem less respected). I am unsure how being openly gay impacted them in terms of getting hired or dealing with other faculty. I imagine this depends on field and school/department.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "As you can probably imagine, the degree to which this sort of thing will be noticed will depend on where you are working. It is a form of (self) Othering, a practice that highlights differences, and in some places that will be viewed hostilely, and in some it will be fine and perhaps even seen as a beneficial form of diversity. If you wanted to teach at Bob Jones University or BYU, you probably would need to hide all of that — but presumably you have no interest in teaching at places that would be actively hostile towards who you are. Other than places that are overtly hostile to homosexuality, though, I'm not sure there's as much one can do to generalize. It is unlikely to be the case that \"deep south and midwest bad\" and \"coastal good\" — as I am sure you have found, there are broad trends, but there are also individual cases both positive and negative that can surprise one when it comes to prejudice, whether talking about faculty, administration, or students. I suspect you would probably get a sense pretty quickly when interviewing whether a place was going to react in a hostile way, but I don't know from any personal experience. My idealistic sense is that you should be who you are, and if they hire you, assume they hired all of you. And if it keeps you from getting a job, then it would have been a job in which you had to deny being who you were, which is not a job you would likely want. But I know that in practice these things are often more complicated than that (if your option is between \"no job\" and \"an oppressive job,\" for example, the answer might be as clear). This is a decision you need to make for yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 4.653846 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.6666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 11012,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "As you can probably imagine, the degree to which this sort of thing will be noticed will depend on where you are working. It is a form of (self) Othering, a practice that highlights differences, and in some places that will be viewed hostilely, and in some it will be fine and perhaps even seen as a beneficial form of diversity. If you wanted to teach at Bob Jones University or BYU, you probably would need to hide all of that — but presumably you have no interest in teaching at places that would be actively hostile towards who you are. Other than places that are overtly hostile to homosexuality, though, I'm not sure there's as much one can do to generalize. It is unlikely to be the case that \"deep south and midwest bad\" and \"coastal good\" — as I am sure you have found, there are broad trends, but there are also individual cases both positive and negative that can surprise one when it comes to prejudice, whether talking about faculty, administration, or students. I suspect you would probably get a sense pretty quickly when interviewing whether a place was going to react in a hostile way, but I don't know from any personal experience. My idealistic sense is that you should be who you are, and if they hire you, assume they hired all of you. And if it keeps you from getting a job, then it would have been a job in which you had to deny being who you were, which is not a job you would likely want. But I know that in practice these things are often more complicated than that (if your option is between \"no job\" and \"an oppressive job,\" for example, the answer might be as clear). This is a decision you need to make for yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You might like this documentary, it kind of explores some similar insecurities https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_I_Sound_Gay%3F A\"gay voice\" is an accent and thus mostly unconscious, and it's not something you could easily (or should necessarily have to change) Edit: there's an actual linguist in this thread as well, also read what they said",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "As you can probably imagine, the degree to which this sort of thing will be noticed will depend on where you are working. It is a form of (self) Othering, a practice that highlights differences, and in some places that will be viewed hostilely, and in some it will be fine and perhaps even seen as a beneficial form of diversity. If you wanted to teach at Bob Jones University or BYU, you probably would need to hide all of that — but presumably you have no interest in teaching at places that would be actively hostile towards who you are. Other than places that are overtly hostile to homosexuality, though, I'm not sure there's as much one can do to generalize. It is unlikely to be the case that \"deep south and midwest bad\" and \"coastal good\" — as I am sure you have found, there are broad trends, but there are also individual cases both positive and negative that can surprise one when it comes to prejudice, whether talking about faculty, administration, or students. I suspect you would probably get a sense pretty quickly when interviewing whether a place was going to react in a hostile way, but I don't know from any personal experience. My idealistic sense is that you should be who you are, and if they hire you, assume they hired all of you. And if it keeps you from getting a job, then it would have been a job in which you had to deny being who you were, which is not a job you would likely want. But I know that in practice these things are often more complicated than that (if your option is between \"no job\" and \"an oppressive job,\" for example, the answer might be as clear). This is a decision you need to make for yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 5.070513 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.25,
"raw_score_rejected": 4,
"seconds_difference": 4321,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "As you can probably imagine, the degree to which this sort of thing will be noticed will depend on where you are working. It is a form of (self) Othering, a practice that highlights differences, and in some places that will be viewed hostilely, and in some it will be fine and perhaps even seen as a beneficial form of diversity. If you wanted to teach at Bob Jones University or BYU, you probably would need to hide all of that — but presumably you have no interest in teaching at places that would be actively hostile towards who you are. Other than places that are overtly hostile to homosexuality, though, I'm not sure there's as much one can do to generalize. It is unlikely to be the case that \"deep south and midwest bad\" and \"coastal good\" — as I am sure you have found, there are broad trends, but there are also individual cases both positive and negative that can surprise one when it comes to prejudice, whether talking about faculty, administration, or students. I suspect you would probably get a sense pretty quickly when interviewing whether a place was going to react in a hostile way, but I don't know from any personal experience. My idealistic sense is that you should be who you are, and if they hire you, assume they hired all of you. And if it keeps you from getting a job, then it would have been a job in which you had to deny being who you were, which is not a job you would likely want. But I know that in practice these things are often more complicated than that (if your option is between \"no job\" and \"an oppressive job,\" for example, the answer might be as clear). This is a decision you need to make for yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't worry about it. As long as your students can hear and understand your voice, you're good to go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "As you can probably imagine, the degree to which this sort of thing will be noticed will depend on where you are working. It is a form of (self) Othering, a practice that highlights differences, and in some places that will be viewed hostilely, and in some it will be fine and perhaps even seen as a beneficial form of diversity. If you wanted to teach at Bob Jones University or BYU, you probably would need to hide all of that — but presumably you have no interest in teaching at places that would be actively hostile towards who you are. Other than places that are overtly hostile to homosexuality, though, I'm not sure there's as much one can do to generalize. It is unlikely to be the case that \"deep south and midwest bad\" and \"coastal good\" — as I am sure you have found, there are broad trends, but there are also individual cases both positive and negative that can surprise one when it comes to prejudice, whether talking about faculty, administration, or students. I suspect you would probably get a sense pretty quickly when interviewing whether a place was going to react in a hostile way, but I don't know from any personal experience. My idealistic sense is that you should be who you are, and if they hire you, assume they hired all of you. And if it keeps you from getting a job, then it would have been a job in which you had to deny being who you were, which is not a job you would likely want. But I know that in practice these things are often more complicated than that (if your option is between \"no job\" and \"an oppressive job,\" for example, the answer might be as clear). This is a decision you need to make for yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 3.820513 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 13902,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "As you can probably imagine, the degree to which this sort of thing will be noticed will depend on where you are working. It is a form of (self) Othering, a practice that highlights differences, and in some places that will be viewed hostilely, and in some it will be fine and perhaps even seen as a beneficial form of diversity. If you wanted to teach at Bob Jones University or BYU, you probably would need to hide all of that — but presumably you have no interest in teaching at places that would be actively hostile towards who you are. Other than places that are overtly hostile to homosexuality, though, I'm not sure there's as much one can do to generalize. It is unlikely to be the case that \"deep south and midwest bad\" and \"coastal good\" — as I am sure you have found, there are broad trends, but there are also individual cases both positive and negative that can surprise one when it comes to prejudice, whether talking about faculty, administration, or students. I suspect you would probably get a sense pretty quickly when interviewing whether a place was going to react in a hostile way, but I don't know from any personal experience. My idealistic sense is that you should be who you are, and if they hire you, assume they hired all of you. And if it keeps you from getting a job, then it would have been a job in which you had to deny being who you were, which is not a job you would likely want. But I know that in practice these things are often more complicated than that (if your option is between \"no job\" and \"an oppressive job,\" for example, the answer might be as clear). This is a decision you need to make for yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I (straight male) had an English professor in college for a short while who was gay and spoke with the stereotypical voice and mannerisms. He was a super cool guy and I didn’t think anything of it and it didn’t make me view him as less of an authority on the subject. I did have to drop his class because it was an elective and I had taken too much on that semester but it seemed like an interesting class (Shakespearean Lit, I believe) and he seemed like a cool guy. I think you’re good.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "As you can probably imagine, the degree to which this sort of thing will be noticed will depend on where you are working. It is a form of (self) Othering, a practice that highlights differences, and in some places that will be viewed hostilely, and in some it will be fine and perhaps even seen as a beneficial form of diversity. If you wanted to teach at Bob Jones University or BYU, you probably would need to hide all of that — but presumably you have no interest in teaching at places that would be actively hostile towards who you are. Other than places that are overtly hostile to homosexuality, though, I'm not sure there's as much one can do to generalize. It is unlikely to be the case that \"deep south and midwest bad\" and \"coastal good\" — as I am sure you have found, there are broad trends, but there are also individual cases both positive and negative that can surprise one when it comes to prejudice, whether talking about faculty, administration, or students. I suspect you would probably get a sense pretty quickly when interviewing whether a place was going to react in a hostile way, but I don't know from any personal experience. My idealistic sense is that you should be who you are, and if they hire you, assume they hired all of you. And if it keeps you from getting a job, then it would have been a job in which you had to deny being who you were, which is not a job you would likely want. But I know that in practice these things are often more complicated than that (if your option is between \"no job\" and \"an oppressive job,\" for example, the answer might be as clear). This is a decision you need to make for yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 4.653846 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.6666666667,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 10684,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "As you can probably imagine, the degree to which this sort of thing will be noticed will depend on where you are working. It is a form of (self) Othering, a practice that highlights differences, and in some places that will be viewed hostilely, and in some it will be fine and perhaps even seen as a beneficial form of diversity. If you wanted to teach at Bob Jones University or BYU, you probably would need to hide all of that — but presumably you have no interest in teaching at places that would be actively hostile towards who you are. Other than places that are overtly hostile to homosexuality, though, I'm not sure there's as much one can do to generalize. It is unlikely to be the case that \"deep south and midwest bad\" and \"coastal good\" — as I am sure you have found, there are broad trends, but there are also individual cases both positive and negative that can surprise one when it comes to prejudice, whether talking about faculty, administration, or students. I suspect you would probably get a sense pretty quickly when interviewing whether a place was going to react in a hostile way, but I don't know from any personal experience. My idealistic sense is that you should be who you are, and if they hire you, assume they hired all of you. And if it keeps you from getting a job, then it would have been a job in which you had to deny being who you were, which is not a job you would likely want. But I know that in practice these things are often more complicated than that (if your option is between \"no job\" and \"an oppressive job,\" for example, the answer might be as clear). This is a decision you need to make for yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I think it depends on the country, but in my UK experience, certain students will love you way more if you're obviously gay. I am a dykey-looking person with short hair and button up shirts, and my QM students get to know me a lot better because I stick out to them, unlike the other TAs. I would also say that while in uni, the yeargroup's favourite lecturer was a wonderful camp gay guy who also happened to be amazing at his job and very friendly. So, if you're in a resonably accepting environment, I would say that students and young people are nothing to worry about. I get a bit more weirdness from older faculty members, but even then, I think they mostly just panic and think they have to behave a specific way around me.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "As you can probably imagine, the degree to which this sort of thing will be noticed will depend on where you are working. It is a form of (self) Othering, a practice that highlights differences, and in some places that will be viewed hostilely, and in some it will be fine and perhaps even seen as a beneficial form of diversity. If you wanted to teach at Bob Jones University or BYU, you probably would need to hide all of that — but presumably you have no interest in teaching at places that would be actively hostile towards who you are. Other than places that are overtly hostile to homosexuality, though, I'm not sure there's as much one can do to generalize. It is unlikely to be the case that \"deep south and midwest bad\" and \"coastal good\" — as I am sure you have found, there are broad trends, but there are also individual cases both positive and negative that can surprise one when it comes to prejudice, whether talking about faculty, administration, or students. I suspect you would probably get a sense pretty quickly when interviewing whether a place was going to react in a hostile way, but I don't know from any personal experience. My idealistic sense is that you should be who you are, and if they hire you, assume they hired all of you. And if it keeps you from getting a job, then it would have been a job in which you had to deny being who you were, which is not a job you would likely want. But I know that in practice these things are often more complicated than that (if your option is between \"no job\" and \"an oppressive job,\" for example, the answer might be as clear). This is a decision you need to make for yourself.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.320513 | 3.820513 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 5,
"raw_score_ratio": 2.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 1374,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There will always be homophobic people, but I don't think your voice itself can be \"unprofessional.\" I'm trans and gay and around the same age and I've been worried about my voice or mannerisms being seen as \"too feminine\" as well, but it's never been a problem for me while teaching. My main concern while teaching has always been being so close in age to my students. I've also had several professors who were openly gay, and as a student, I did not notice them having issues with this in the classroom (no snarky comments from students, they didn't seem less respected). I am unsure how being openly gay impacted them in terms of getting hired or dealing with other faculty. I imagine this depends on field and school/department.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.923077 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 24532,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "If that’s your voice, it’s your voice, no two ways about it. However, I understand that it’s obviously an uncertain feeling with students but honestly I’ve had gay teachers and I’ve never thought them unprofessional or less than anyone straight because of their more effeminate voices. Inevitably, suppressing that voice is also probably not good for your own mental health and may result in some internalized homophobia.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.923077 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 10853,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I took a course this semester with a male professor with a somewhat feminine voice. I don’t think it was a problem and even think it made him seem more approachable. Ultimately, I think your responses to questions/input from students is much more important to determining how you are perceived than your voice.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.923077 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 3171,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't worry about it. As long as your students can hear and understand your voice, you're good to go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.25641 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 2,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 27422,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I (straight male) had an English professor in college for a short while who was gay and spoke with the stereotypical voice and mannerisms. He was a super cool guy and I didn’t think anything of it and it didn’t make me view him as less of an authority on the subject. I did have to drop his class because it was an elective and I had taken too much on that semester but it seemed like an interesting class (Shakespearean Lit, I believe) and he seemed like a cool guy. I think you’re good.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.923077 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 24204,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I think it depends on the country, but in my UK experience, certain students will love you way more if you're obviously gay. I am a dykey-looking person with short hair and button up shirts, and my QM students get to know me a lot better because I stick out to them, unlike the other TAs. I would also say that while in uni, the yeargroup's favourite lecturer was a wonderful camp gay guy who also happened to be amazing at his job and very friendly. So, if you're in a resonably accepting environment, I would say that students and young people are nothing to worry about. I get a bit more weirdness from older faculty members, but even then, I think they mostly just panic and think they have to behave a specific way around me.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.25641 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 2,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 14894,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ben Munson is the one doing legit acoustic work on this phenomenon. If you're curious enough for a deep dive it might be worth a read. Genuinely, though, I wouldn't worry about it too much. I can imagine there may be some areas of the world or pockets in institutions where your voice would negatively affect your job prospects, but those are the exact same places where your *actually being gay* would be a much bigger issue, and not likely at the top of your list for that reason anyways. From the other perspective (IE of your students), I would worry about it even less. Speech changes all the time, and there are indications that the \"gay voice\" you're using isn't the same as the \"gay voice\" being used by teens, nor will it be the one used by 20-somethings when you're 40-something. Particularly in English-speaking countries in the Global North(tm), gender and sexuality and how it related to identity is in a massive flux right now anyways and we're still not sure how that's going to shake out in terms of style or dialect shifts. Students that are going to disrespect you because you sound gay are either 1. homophobic anyways (see my last paragraph), or; 2. going to be making fun of you for sounding like an *old* person (maybe an old gay person) moreso than just a gay person. Particularly if the point of reference hits that media lag, where your way of speaking is associated with \"old\" media (sitcoms, tv, etc) where that voice is linked to more caricatured gay people.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.25641 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 2,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 7894,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I wouldn’t worry about it, and I certainly wouldn’t alter my voice. IMO the best thing you can do for yourself and your students is to just be yourself, especially since it’s usually pretty easy to sniff out folks pretending to be someone they’re not. Besides, people who whine about professors not acting/dressing/behaving like “real professors” are some of the worst people in academia. The less energy we devote to satisfying them, the better.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm just lending some solidarity here as a gay man who can't (and doesn't try to) pass as straight. Part of my ethic as a teacher is to create and hold space for my students to be fully themselves in class across all intersections of their identities. My being out and openly queer in class models that for students, particularly any LGBTQ+ students I might encounter. I can count on one hand the number of queer teachers I've had throughout my academic career—preschool through Ph.D. You could are that for your students, whether they ever tell you (or even realize) how meaningful it is. For me, the good that comes from being openly gay at work outweighs the hit I take on my SETs. In our current moment of (U.S.) backlash against LGBTQ teachers, I feel like it couldn't be more important for us queers to not back down. PS: For what it's worth, I have had 2 students my 9 years of teaching comment about my masculinity or sexuality directly to me or on my SETs. 2 out of literally 1000+ students in solid red, conservative states!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.25641 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 2,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 7216,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You might like this documentary, it kind of explores some similar insecurities https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_I_Sound_Gay%3F A\"gay voice\" is an accent and thus mostly unconscious, and it's not something you could easily (or should necessarily have to change) Edit: there's an actual linguist in this thread as well, also read what they said",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There will always be homophobic people, but I don't think your voice itself can be \"unprofessional.\" I'm trans and gay and around the same age and I've been worried about my voice or mannerisms being seen as \"too feminine\" as well, but it's never been a problem for me while teaching. My main concern while teaching has always been being so close in age to my students. I've also had several professors who were openly gay, and as a student, I did not notice them having issues with this in the classroom (no snarky comments from students, they didn't seem less respected). I am unsure how being openly gay impacted them in terms of getting hired or dealing with other faculty. I imagine this depends on field and school/department.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You might like this documentary, it kind of explores some similar insecurities https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_I_Sound_Gay%3F A\"gay voice\" is an accent and thus mostly unconscious, and it's not something you could easily (or should necessarily have to change) Edit: there's an actual linguist in this thread as well, also read what they said",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.923077 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 6691,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There will always be homophobic people, but I don't think your voice itself can be \"unprofessional.\" I'm trans and gay and around the same age and I've been worried about my voice or mannerisms being seen as \"too feminine\" as well, but it's never been a problem for me while teaching. My main concern while teaching has always been being so close in age to my students. I've also had several professors who were openly gay, and as a student, I did not notice them having issues with this in the classroom (no snarky comments from students, they didn't seem less respected). I am unsure how being openly gay impacted them in terms of getting hired or dealing with other faculty. I imagine this depends on field and school/department.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't worry about it. As long as your students can hear and understand your voice, you're good to go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There will always be homophobic people, but I don't think your voice itself can be \"unprofessional.\" I'm trans and gay and around the same age and I've been worried about my voice or mannerisms being seen as \"too feminine\" as well, but it's never been a problem for me while teaching. My main concern while teaching has always been being so close in age to my students. I've also had several professors who were openly gay, and as a student, I did not notice them having issues with this in the classroom (no snarky comments from students, they didn't seem less respected). I am unsure how being openly gay impacted them in terms of getting hired or dealing with other faculty. I imagine this depends on field and school/department.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.192308 | 4.692308 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 3,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 2890,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You might like this documentary, it kind of explores some similar insecurities https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_I_Sound_Gay%3F A\"gay voice\" is an accent and thus mostly unconscious, and it's not something you could easily (or should necessarily have to change) Edit: there's an actual linguist in this thread as well, also read what they said",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't worry about it. As long as your students can hear and understand your voice, you're good to go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You might like this documentary, it kind of explores some similar insecurities https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_I_Sound_Gay%3F A\"gay voice\" is an accent and thus mostly unconscious, and it's not something you could easily (or should necessarily have to change) Edit: there's an actual linguist in this thread as well, also read what they said",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.25641 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 2,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 9581,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You might like this documentary, it kind of explores some similar insecurities https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_I_Sound_Gay%3F A\"gay voice\" is an accent and thus mostly unconscious, and it's not something you could easily (or should necessarily have to change) Edit: there's an actual linguist in this thread as well, also read what they said",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I (straight male) had an English professor in college for a short while who was gay and spoke with the stereotypical voice and mannerisms. He was a super cool guy and I didn’t think anything of it and it didn’t make me view him as less of an authority on the subject. I did have to drop his class because it was an elective and I had taken too much on that semester but it seemed like an interesting class (Shakespearean Lit, I believe) and he seemed like a cool guy. I think you’re good.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "You might like this documentary, it kind of explores some similar insecurities https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_I_Sound_Gay%3F A\"gay voice\" is an accent and thus mostly unconscious, and it's not something you could easily (or should necessarily have to change) Edit: there's an actual linguist in this thread as well, also read what they said",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.25641 | 4.923077 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 4,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.3333333333,
"raw_score_rejected": 3,
"seconds_difference": 6363,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "If that’s your voice, it’s your voice, no two ways about it. However, I understand that it’s obviously an uncertain feeling with students but honestly I’ve had gay teachers and I’ve never thought them unprofessional or less than anyone straight because of their more effeminate voices. Inevitably, suppressing that voice is also probably not good for your own mental health and may result in some internalized homophobia.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Don't worry about it. As long as your students can hear and understand your voice, you're good to go.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "If that’s your voice, it’s your voice, no two ways about it. However, I understand that it’s obviously an uncertain feeling with students but honestly I’ve had gay teachers and I’ve never thought them unprofessional or less than anyone straight because of their more effeminate voices. Inevitably, suppressing that voice is also probably not good for your own mental health and may result in some internalized homophobia.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.192308 | 4.692308 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 3,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 16569,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Being a professor and the "gay voice" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe? | c8b86bdf43c97a09a52759d0853643e743f51b9203de870d86891912cc1c4c21 | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "If that’s your voice, it’s your voice, no two ways about it. However, I understand that it’s obviously an uncertain feeling with students but honestly I’ve had gay teachers and I’ve never thought them unprofessional or less than anyone straight because of their more effeminate voices. Inevitably, suppressing that voice is also probably not good for your own mental health and may result in some internalized homophobia.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I think it depends on the country, but in my UK experience, certain students will love you way more if you're obviously gay. I am a dykey-looking person with short hair and button up shirts, and my QM students get to know me a lot better because I stick out to them, unlike the other TAs. I would also say that while in uni, the yeargroup's favourite lecturer was a wonderful camp gay guy who also happened to be amazing at his job and very friendly. So, if you're in a resonably accepting environment, I would say that students and young people are nothing to worry about. I get a bit more weirdness from older faculty members, but even then, I think they mostly just panic and think they have to behave a specific way around me.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | [
{
"content": "Being a professor and the \"gay voice\" and manneirism (26M gay) I've always had a concern abou my voice sounding too gay but only about dating and hooking up. Now I have this concern about the classroom too. Is it something bad to have a gay voice while being a professor? Read something about it being unprofessional and makes you being disrespected. I have this memory about all my male teachers and professors being a bit feminine even thought they're all straight. So is it ok maybe?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "If that’s your voice, it’s your voice, no two ways about it. However, I understand that it’s obviously an uncertain feeling with students but honestly I’ve had gay teachers and I’ve never thought them unprofessional or less than anyone straight because of their more effeminate voices. Inevitably, suppressing that voice is also probably not good for your own mental health and may result in some internalized homophobia.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] | 5.192308 | 4.692308 | {
"domain": "askacademia_train",
"post_id": "zmn49j",
"raw_score_chosen": 3,
"raw_score_ratio": 1.5,
"raw_score_rejected": 2,
"seconds_difference": 4041,
"source": "stanfordnlp/SHP",
"upvote_ratio": 0.89
} |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.