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**Adam Stacoviak:** Well, one, it emotionally satisfies me, of course... But it's gotta be nourishing, and I think that's what we've gotta think about as we talk about thoughts in our brain; what kind of thoughts do we wanna grow in our brain? |
I saw something on Instagram recently from Dr. Hyman, or somebody else that talks about brain stuff essentially, because I pay attention to that... And they said "What kind of thoughts do you wanna plant in your brain, and are they the kind of thoughts that you would wanna put in a vase?" Similar to the way you display... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yes, that is so well-said... Because again, I have to be protective around the soil that I'm working within. So if I'm gonna even share with other people or give them access to what's going on in my own New York City ticker of thoughts... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Exactly, yeah... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** \[08:01\] ...would I want that to be broadcast? Or how might I want to change that? So before we get too much further in, I want to make sure that people are like "Well, okay, Mireille and Adam, what is self-care?" |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yes, define it, please. |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** I love it, I'm so grateful for resources... So the World Health Organization actually defines self-care as "The ability of individuals, families and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with (I thought this was fascinating) or... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah. Especially that part with -- even the with is nice too, because a healthcare provider is often a partner in health. Sometimes people go to a doctor or a healthcare provider as like "You're the fixer. You fix me. You do all the work." But it requires the co-mingling of desires, I suppose. This ... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yeah. And so I love this - the World Health Organization goes on to say "Inherent in the concept (of self-care) is the recognition that whatever factors and processes may determine behavior, and whether or not self-care is effective and interfaces appropriately with professional care, it is th... |
Remember that choice thing, that choice episode we talked about as our superpower? |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yes, your choice is your superpower. |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yeah... And it's so broad, and there's a lot of people who misunderstand what is involved in self-care... Because I would offer one of the misconceptions as like "It's self-indulgence." |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right. Or "I'm selfish for doing it." |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** "It costs a lot of money." |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right... Money, time... All the costs. All the necessary resources that are consumed with it. Even your own mind, focusing on what you want, versus others. |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yeah. And it's interesting, even that - selfish... Because you're judging it, and going like "Man... Who buys a home and is like 'I should totally not take care of this." \[laughter\] |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yes, how true... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** "I'm gonna spend so much money, and then totally disregard it." |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right. Just let it go downhill, dilapidated. It's like... Ugh. |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** "I would be so selfish to clean my house and manage all that's within it..." No one would say that, right? |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yes... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** And yet, our bodies and our brains - this is what we've got; this is our homes, so to speak. Mind, body and soul reside in this physical body. So it's not crazy or absurd. However, a lot of people have feelings about tending to or caring for themself in a helpful way. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** I might actually say it's selfish to not care for it... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yeah. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Because think about the responsibility you have to others. People depend upon you personally - you, the proverbial listener - and depend upon me... So if I'm just not taking care of me, then I'm not -- I can't be me for the people who rely upon me. |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yeah. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** And that's why I think we're hitting on the point of it being misunderstood. Or that there's this -- it's inappropriate to some degree to care about yourself. |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** \[12:09\] Yeah. I like to think about it sort of relationally, in the way of an addition equation, when so many people look at it as a subtraction, sort of zero-sum... Of like "If I exert influence on my environment or others around me, and say that "This works for me, or is preferable, or it'... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** It's troubling. I don't want our listeners to feel bad about self-care. Like, hey, you have permission. Use this episode as a wake-up call to investigate, to explore, to get curious about self-care, and maybe more so taking stock of how you have or have not done self-care for you... Because this is ... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Right. Dr. Wayne Jonas, who's an integrative health expert and family physician at Samueli Integrative Health Programs, noted that research shows that the core aspects of self-care contribute to 60%-70% of the chronic diseases we know in this world. Isn't that crazy? |
This was in an article \[unintelligible 00:13:39.17\] most people understand what the basics are that they need to do in order to be healthy, or in some case even reverse illness, and they also understand that it's not easy to do... So they need help in that area. And that's why this conversation is so important. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Yeah. So it seems like there's this edge of self-care, where it's almost required to push back on that metric, that 60%-70% of chronic diseases that can be prevented or fine-tuned based upon correctly doing - or actually even doing - self-care. |
So it seems like there's some self-care that's needed, but some that just helps you be better... And I don't know how to define that. It seems like maybe Dr. Jonas is saying that there's some that are very core - in his case, to quote him - "core aspects" of self-care. So there's some core self-care that's sort of like... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yeah, well if we can sort of categorize these in three different sort of lanes, thinking about self-care from the perspective of emotional self-care, like self-talk, sustaining limits, parameters, saying no when you need to, because it's too much for you at this point in time... Versus physica... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** They speak to your identity. In many ways, that's what spiritual really is. It's like, "I am who I am, I know who I am because I have these beliefs", whichever way you fall upon those beliefs. |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Right. And so even thinking about spiritual from the perspective of acts of gratitude, or being kind to other people... Volunteering. These things are giving in a way in which you don't expect a response. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** \[16:15\] I know we don't have a list of these, but what do you think Dr. Jonas is getting at when he says "the core aspects of self-care"? Is there a definitive list that's out there that you're aware of, that's sort of like -- while we may have categorized them, they're not very specific into like... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Well, I would say there's similarities or overlap... And there's tons of lists and ideas. We can walk through some of those for sure, but if you're thinking about it from a broad perspective, looking at the foundations - the sleeping is pretty important, the eating is pretty important, and the... |
But if we look at our body as our house, we need a good foundation to start with. And if we're not doing those fundamentals, it makes all the other things that much more challenging. If I don't eat food, I'm gonna have a hard time doing my day, period. In the same way, if I didn't put gas in my car, I'd have a hard tim... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** So given your analogy of "Why would I buy a home?" Expensive, mortgage payments, debt - typically, for most people... Some people buy their homes outright and own them, which is awesome... Why do you think people would do that (to go on that analogy) and not care for the thing? What is it that keeps... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Well, I think what you're getting at is some of the barriers there are to doing it... In part, it's access or knowledge. One of the things that Dr. Jonas said was that even physicians - 38% of physicians said they knew what to do to help patients make self-help changes. These are supposed to b... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Right. |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** So a misconception/misunderstanding is one of the most significant barriers, because if I think it costs a lot, I might not have the means to do it, or the desire with other competing means. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Also time too, as a resource. |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yeah, for sure. |
**Adam Stacoviak:** Some people just skip it because like "You know what - I don't have time to take care of me." I say that, so I feel bad even saying it and joking about it, or laughing, because I say that, too. "I don't have time to take care of me as well as I want to." |
\[20:08\] For example, in the last month or to I've only gotten out to mountain-bike a couple times. And that truly bums me out. But you would think that somehow, someway, I would make time if it was that important to me. So then you kind of get into this spiral of like -- I don't know how to describe it, but "I don't ... |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Right. And so with that, I would say - going back to what we mentioned at the beginning about being deliberate or purposeful... It is so easy -- just like if we're not anchored, a boat will tend to float in a direction, and so will we. We will just move according to other pressures. And when w... |
**Adam Stacoviak:** "Where's the dock?!" |
**Mireille Reece, PsyD:** Yes... \[laughs\] So it's the slow drift. And unless I'm purposeful and planning, to go "This is what my tomorrow is gonna look like" or "Here's how I can incorporate these things..." I mean, what if I were to challenge you, Adam, in saying "Hey, before I see you again to do this podcast, I wa... |
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