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<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
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<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">125 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<span class="erowid-warning">[Erowid Note:
A substance(s) in this report might be identified incorrectly. Erowid reviewers question the author's identification of the drug described. Although the report is included in the collection, the substance might be something other than the author believed it to be.]</span>
<br>
<br>
It was a Friday night and it was about 7:00 o'clock that my parents had gone out for the night to see a concert. They wouldn't be home until around 11:30 or midnight I had assumed. It was just my little sister at home, who stays in her room all the time anyway, and my good friend C and my boyfriend of 3 years A.
<br>
<br>
The whole day prior to dropping I had a bad stomach ache and hadn't eaten much but some fried food just before we took the acid. I wasn't feeling exactly 100% but I had heard that eating wasn't something you normally do when you trip so I didn't worry about it.
<br>
<br>
I've tried taking acid twice before. Once it just didn't happen, and the second time I did it by myself and I had a very bad experience, and I'm not sure if it was bad acid or something else entirely. My mind kind of crashed in on itself and I felt like I was trapped on a roller coaster ride of my life. I cried nearly the entire time, and I don't remember how long it lasted. It had very minor visuals and I recovered in the end by smoking some marijuana. I've also tried MDMA three times before and smoke marijuana regularly.
<br>
<br>
I've always gotten very nervous right before I've tried a drug for the first time and I was nervous this time too, even though I had tried it before. I've heard the whole 'set and setting' thing and I knew I should stay calm but it was difficult to do and I let my boyfriend take the acid before I did. He took a tab and I started out with half of a tab. My friend C took a few prescription pills of something or other like ritalin and was drinking vodka and rum. I had a feeling our tripping and his high wouldn't mix well but we did it anyway.
<br>
<br>
We smoked out of my bong and finished about two packs of it when I could tell my boyfriend was feeling something. He had the goofiest smile on his face and looked stoned beyond belief. I started to consider to take my other half so I wouldn't miss out on whatever he was experiencing and waste my tab by only taking half. I put in my other half and accidentally bit down on it, which triggered a terrible taste in my mouth. I tried to drink water partially because of cotton mouth and partially to wash out the taste and like my boyfriend warned, it only intensified the putrid taste. I sat down at my table and began to swivel back and forth in my chair and my boyfriend A and my friend C begin to look somehow 3D as I do this. I tell them and my friend C asks, 'Wait, how many dimensions are we in again?' I begin to laugh and do a cheer my physics teacher taught to remember our four dimensions. I think I'm beginning to come up.
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<br>
Eventually we head to my room. I don't exactly remember the exact point that it started to hit me but I remember that I was increasingly giggly and saying ridiculous things. I told my friend C who was supposed to be the designated 'babysitter' of my boyfriend and I to try to keep up to the space ship ride I was on.
<br>
<br>
The visuals began to become very intense and I saw my whole room begin to breathe. I started to understand the feeling my boyfriend barely managed to describe, indicating it by doing wave patterns with his arms and hands. However, the visuals also had an adverse effect on me. I became nauseated and dizzy and I had severe stomach cramps. I felt restricted in my clothing and felt very hot. I stripped off of what I could of my clothes while staying decent and complained of how I didn't feel very well. My friend C tried to convince me not to focus on it and my boyfriend insisted on me 'letting go' but I told them they didn't understand how badly my stomach hurt and how terribly this mixed with the visual effects I had. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">my boyfriend insisted on me 'letting go' but I told them they didn't understand how badly my stomach hurt and how terribly this mixed with the visual effects I had.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
At some point in time I rushed to the bathroom and began to vomit. I was tripping somewhat, but it still hadn't completely taken over yet. It had to have been around 7:30 or so. I went back to my room where my friends were and laid down in my bed again. I still felt absolutely sick. I was overheated and felt weak, and my teeth were grinding against each other. My head felt like it was going with the visuals I saw, going out a thousand dimensions, and with this I got 'face chills', or some sort of chills that only occurred in what felt like the back of my head. I got up, sat down, got up, and sat down, debating on whether I should go throw up again. I didn't want to, but God, I felt so shitty. So I did. This next time around my visuals were coming in full swing. I sat in front of my 'porcelain God' and threw up. I paused and heard my friend in my room telling my boyfriend to 'focus on yourself' and for some reason I found this inspiring as I watched the vomit in my toilet. I got up, recovered myself, and went back to my room. I told C what he said was inspiring and went back to lay down. I kept gagging for quite some time and felt nauseous for another good hour, but it felt much longer.
<br>
<br>
During my nausea my boyfriend took my hand and told me that I had to relax, to go with it, to not try to control my trip but let it control me. Time immediately began to slow down immensely and I laughed and exclaimed how he just slowed time down like that. The posters on my walls were all very fascinating. The Beatles watching me trip and gag, which I didn't appreciate much, my map of Paris which swirled together in beautiful ways, a piece of art... mostly though, my hand was subject to stare at as I focused in on it and let the colorful patterns close in around it. I began to regain physical stability as I willed myself to not gag at every thought I had of anything remotely gross or nausea-inducing. My boyfriend and I tripped together as my friend C tried to keep us happy. A and I though were completely somewhere else, laughing at nearly everything, even if it wasn't funny.
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<br>
In fact, the only emotional response I think I really felt was giddiness. Besides this, I felt like I wasn't functioning at an emotional level. My friend C tried to talk to me about people or things but I just didn't care about any of it. I was focused on what I was seeing mostly and how my fingertips were swelling with the same energy that was surging off of the walls and ceilings. I didn't feel like myself at all, I had no normal emotions I usually felt. I didn't care about myself or anything else.
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<br>
We made our way to my living room and chilled there for a little while. My favorite cat curled herself up to me and I was amazed by her tiny little body and her beautiful, intricate white fur. We talked for some time here, though most of my sentences were never complete because I was either interrupted by my friend C who was beginning to feel his high and he was talking very much, or my mind was interrupted by a whole other thought. This or I just couldn't find it in me to care to finish the sentence. It wasn't worth trying to explain most of the time, I couldn't articulate much of anything. A recurring motif in this trip, however, was my desire for a peanut butter sandwich because of my illness. My boyfriend made me the sandwich and we spoke in a British accent about my breathing sandwich.
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<br>
I went back into my room and found myself very displeased with its appearance. I got the urge to begin to clean it. I picked up some papers and headed for my garage. Without turning on the light first, I stepped out into it and felt something on the bottom of my foot squirm around. I screamed bloody murder though I didn't really feel any terror or fear, it was mostly just an automatic response. My boyfriend turned on the light and I swore I saw a cockroach crawl away from under my foot. I began to laugh and yell and demand if what I saw was really a cockroach or if I had just imagined that. My friend C and my boyfriend insisted it wasn't, but they later informed me it was, they didn't want to give me a bad trip though. I don't think this would have bothered me anyway however, I felt so content and detached, it didn't phase me in the slightest.
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I've also heard that you shouldn't look at yourself in the mirror while you trip. I did this anyway, out of curiosity, expecting to see someone who wasn't me. It was me, with pupils as big as saucers, but it was me. I looked up close however, and saw every pore on my face it seemed like. It also looked like I had broken out with a million tiny red pimples. I quickly removed myself from the mirror upon this inspection.
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<br>
At 10 PM my younger brother who is 15 came home. He knows about my drug use and I immediately told him as he came through the door that I was tripping on acid along with A. I also told him we were probably screwed because mom and dad would be home relatively soon and I was still feeling it, though it had diminished a little. He told me I didn't have to worry, I didn't look like I was tripping on acid, and gave me probably the best part of the trip: magnets. 15 little round magnets captured my attention for the rest of the trip. I swore I could see their magnetic field. My boyfriend and I played with them and giggled incessantly while my friend C tried and tried to talk to us and hold a conversation, but I was hardly interested. I mostly wanted, at this point, to relax my mind and space out for a while.
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<br>
My boyfriend A tried to put on a cartoon show on my computer but dissatisfied with this turn of events, I left A and C and laid down on my mother's bed. I laid there for I don't know how long, it felt like 20 minutes, but could have been longer or shorter. I watched the shadows from the TV dance on the wall and my arm hairs tower from me. I relaxed and thought about nothing, really. And I enjoyed not thinking about anything, for usually it's that I have too many thoughts on my mind at all times. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I enjoyed not thinking about anything, for usually it's that I have too many thoughts on my mind at all times.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
I returned to my room where C and A were. I was beginning to come down and my boyfriend A informed me he had mostly come down to. I could focus on something and the visuals would return if I gave it a minute, but the physical feelings were completely gone. All I was left with was happiness. I think the trip had mostly resided by midnight. I was in a genuinely good mood, probably from laughing and smiling so much. My friend C was on a whole different high and was irritating me immensely and sleeping in my room that night. I didn't want my boyfriend to leave, but he did and I forced myself to sleep. The next day I felt exhausted in my body and my jaw ached from grinding my teeth.
<br>
<br>
Acid was an extremely out of this world experience and all I want to do is try it again, when I won't be throwing up or inside. I would love to be outside in the day time the next time I do it. I don't think I ever had much of a panic during the trip, just physical illness that bothered me, and luckily I gathered it in me to overcome this.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2013</td><td width="90">ExpID: 102026</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 17</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 31, 2017</td><td>Views: 2,574</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=102026&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=102026&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Health Problems (27), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
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<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:15</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 20:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">260 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Hello, first I would like to mention my substance history. I am no stranger to entheogens, I have experienced Marijuana, ecstacy, Meo-DMT, and Psilocybin Mushrooms. As well as opium once. Also, prior to this trip, I have had an experience with LSD, but it was only one tab and to me, it felt far too mild. That experience reminded me of a mild Mushroom trip, but still only just a taste of what acid could do. I felt more of a emotional feeling, very little visuals. This trip though, would be my best trip to date. I will try to recall as much as I can because this occurred the second week of January of this year.
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<br>
I started this experiment at nighttime possibly around 9:30. During this month, I was off for a month from college so I was physically, mentally, and spiritually sound for the most part. I took my roll at 9:30 and after 20 minutes I was already feeling this pleasant euphoria and my body felt so comfortable under my sheets as if I could melt into my bed. My mother was late and hadn't come home yet. I wanted to wait until everyone was asleep before I start, so there was some limited anxiety, but I made sure I didn't take the acid until I felt it was safe. Finally, I decided to take the two hits of acid at 9:45 and my mother came home a little after 10:00.
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<br>
My mom went to bed almost immediately, but my stepdad took awhile until he retreated to bed. In meanwhile, the tabs started to dissolve in my mouth as I started to chew the hits like gum and eventually swallowed. I had a relatively empty stomach and hadn't eaten for four hours. It was 10:30, I was still hungry so I just decided to eat a salami sandwich and iced tea. By 11:00, everyone went to bed as went sneaked downstairs to my game room to play video games, I was playing Assassin's Creed on PS3. Just something to do until my experience would really get going.
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At this point the ecstacy gives me this slight hyperactive feeling and I just felt slightly like some erotic being. After this point, time does seem to feel infinite. As I played the Video game I noticed no change in visual perception, I almost thought the dose was still too weak like last time. As played on, I did feel a slight heart rate increase which could have been attributed to either the acid or the ecstacy.
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<br>
At 12:00, granted everything seemed normal as I play the video games, I felt a change, so I looked to my carpet and just like in many mushroom trips before, the carpet starts shifting. I went to my bathroom to pee, as I walked on the wooden floors, the pattern of the wood had a hologram look to it, as if it was fluid. The lines between the tiles seemed to disappear and appear again while the vent register in my bathroom looked as if was breathing like it was alive (I similar things in the mushroom trips but this was more prominent). Before I put all my attention to the trip I wanted to finish my game so I played until 12:30 and retreated to my room. I felt this head pressure I feel with psychedelics and I knew I was reaching my peak here. There's a Led Zeppelin stairway to Heaven poster on my walls with some old man, some prophet on there. The cloak he was wearing looked like it was starting to drip of the poster as well as the words on the poster.
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I sat down to meditate briefly to adjust my breathing to facilitate the intense energy of this feeling. My carpet floor seemed alive and took on a sand-like texture. It mini hallway space from my door seemed to stretch and contract and I felt the sensation as if I was riding a wave. I felt this was the perfect time to play guitar. EVERY NOTE WAS FLAWLESS!!!! Sound was orgasmic to the ears. It was the first time I felt like music was truly a gift from god. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Sound was orgasmic to the ears. It was the first time I felt like music was truly a gift from god.</div></div> I played for 6 hours without realizing it. The strings were fluid, singing felt very enjoyable, the acid world evaporated around me as space and time were concepts that didn't matter anymore. The only thing was important were these notes, I was hypnotized by them, I was in a trance. It was 6:00 am, I am still in vaguely in the acid realm. The creme walls take on an ice cream texture that seems to pulsate in waves. The carpet on my bathroom is breathing. By 8:00-12:00, I'm still a little spacey, but tripping necessarily.
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<br>
This was very interesting. I tapped into some creative realm I never knew existed. It was a positive experience. Very tiring after words. I have wished I had weed because that helps with the come down. I was able to have some 6 hours after I came down and that point it seemed like the cannabis had flared up some LSD effects. Like I had weird, but amusing auditory hallucinations. Even now, I realized interesting psychedelic traits in cannabis, I've always highly regarded cannabis for spiritual and psychedelic nature, but now even more so. LSD is such a fascinating chemical to work with, but I do believe I need a calm mind to handle it and a creative mind to see its true beauty.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2008</td><td width="90">ExpID: 68722</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 8, 2017</td><td>Views: 1,502</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=68722&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=68722&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), MDMA (3) : Alone (16), Music Discussion (22), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">80 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
We took it about 12 noon on a perfect early autumn day in March. By 1.30pm the 8 of us were in the sea, splashing about and jumping with joy in and out of surf breakers straight from the Antarctic.
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<br>
Things started to morph into serotonergia about half an hour later, just as we settled onto the camp on the top of the cliff. Gazing out and down onto the paradisical arc of sand and wave, we could see the thousands of little dolphins leaping over each other in their frenetic quest to spill out onto the beach with each new and ever-more sparkling and be-jewelled wave. At least that's what the foamy water resembled, both visually and energetically.
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<br>
As we relaxed into each other's loving acceptance and enjoyed the astonishing vista before us, the sea-floor took on the appearance of the bottom of a vast swimming-pool, with the shades of dark from patches of wea-weed taking on the appearance of differently-coloured tiles on the floor.
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<br>
Turning my back for a moment to the sea, I headed into the shade of the trees, into the heart of our camp. All the bags and other paraphernalia we had deposited there instantly transformed into glowing jewels of ruby red, emerald green, blue sapphire and colours that were radiating their sweet luscious fruity taste with such intensity that I was stunned into an inanely smiling silence. Incidentally as I stood up to walk, I could feel my body plunging down into the ground and back up again, like I was suspended on a huge bungee-jump cord.
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<br>
Three of the group were only using marijuana or alcohol and their conversation seemed to disturb the serenity and tranquillity of the experience.
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<br>
At about 7pm or so, as the sun was setting beyond a bluff at the end of the beach, we walked along the strand, dipping toes in the waves with trousers rolled up - and we were on an endless infinite landscape, ever-present, primordial, ineffable. Patterns in the exposed rock of the cliffs became creatures, reminiscent of the sacred patterns on the sides of Uluru.
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<br>
The feelings of overwhelming (of shamelessly tearful intensity) empathy and love for my partner were impressive.
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<br>
The sight of the sunset on the horizon was so universal and timeless that as a group we were transported to anywhere else in the world we wanted to be.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2006</td><td width="90">ExpID: 51468</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 13, 2017</td><td>Views: 1,255</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=51468&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=51468&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1.5 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">50 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/methoxetamine/">Methoxetamine </a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">165 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I'm in line at the bar. It's long, packed. I am silent, smiling like a maniac. Large though the crowd is, my pupils are wide enough to fit them all. People who make eye contact with me expect me to talk to them---I can tell. This is mostly the magic mushrooms talking.
<br>
<br>
After I've moved ten feet and abut the wall of the bar the line swells. More keep squeezing and I'm not shoulder to shoulder, but curve to curve with everybody. A girl two feet shorter than me is flush with my torso, pressed against me and five others. Even a gas chamber operator would find this overcrowding hazardous. Someone starts laughing with me, or I start laughing outwardly. Everyone is garbed so strangely, but I can't recall why.
<br>
<br>
I'm soon inside. The bouncer doesn't linger on my ID. It all matches except for the pupils. The place is crowded, but the counters are still clear and I can order a drink within seconds, so the wave hasn't yet hit. I dance briefly, but can feel that the energy hasn't yet reached the floor, but is waiting in the wings. I drink a gin and tonic beside the dj, watching the crowd and soaking up the mood. Soon. Very soon.
<br>
<br>
I ascend the stairs to the upper floor bathroom, a quieter place for those who have been inside before and left with sobriety and sense enough to recall its existence. It's larger, cleaner than the basement, and hasn't anyone working in it handing out water or gum or overseeing that no one is insufflating drugs or puking them out. This is an important quality in a bathroom.
<br>
<br>
It's quiet. I take a stall, and pull out my millilitre vial of methoxetamine. The square tiles on the floor are pulsating. My hand shakes the vial too vigorously and too much powder spills onto the surface of my phone. Enough mex to get me high for the next twelve hours, or maybe even for life, albeit a short one. I scrape some gingerly back into the vial, leaving a reasonable amount. But maybe that's the shrooms talking. Reason isn't why I'm here.
<br>
<br>
It goes wrong. My second nostril bleeds profusely the instant the particulate enters. I try to inhale harder despite the blood to keep it in my nose, but know that it's useless; only half the dose is in there. Plus I'm spilling everywhere. I grab wads of toilet paper and sit down. Soon I can't recall why I'm wherever I am. Paranoia grips me, as I worry about how much visible blood is on my face, or if the bouncers will be summoned for the suspiciously occupied stall. Stories from beyond the door drift in, and my predicament melds with them. Snippets catch, are enjoyable, and I am sharing a moment somehow with these figments. Shortly I hear insufflation from the stall beside me: a comforting sound. I am not alone. The blood subsides eventually, but I can't recall why I'm here. Am I nauseous? It doesn't appear so. Then I recall the blood and start wiping around my nostrils with saliva to remove the traces before I emerge and make for the sink.
<br>
<br>
Outside the bathroom, the energy has augmented. I'm on the top floor, looking down to the dance floor and the ledges above. Over a hundred multicolored creatures flailing in the lights greet me. I gasp, rapt, and return to the bar. I order a glass of water, and stand at the bar briefly. I am deeply connected to everyone here. As they pass me, their faces are all familiar, and I recognize them all from past nights, dreams, and lives. The water is blessed, and I am blessed, but at this point, that could be the mex talking.
<br>
<br>
I join the chaos on the floor, which is now impossible to see through the tangles of bodies. Several lines of people are slowing pushing their way through the crowd, and I join these with manic eyes and weave in and out of arms and legs. I feel myself to emanate love, that the contact with the bodies around me is transferring the energy we all feel, and that a collective cloud is around us, all of us. The sonic waves in the air are palpable to the entire body. Vibrations share the feeling, and everyone is joyous. There is hardly room to dance, but weaving and bumping around is all I want. Mankind gets me off.
<br>
<br>
Soon or hours later I return for more water at the bar. This is the second glass. But the bartenders understand. Everyone knows, and I know that I am emanating heat and energy. My head is constantly nodding. My eyes are wide and all-seeing and I am all-knowing. I know so much that complex things decompose; I can't understand what alcohol is, or what the words mean, but I know that every creature here is here to share love; they are unified, are one.
<br>
<br>
Back on the floor there is room and the vibrations in the air move my body for me. I am the sound turned into visible light and movable space. I bend, twist, turn, and step with mania. Beside girls, beside guys, I see and feel only a body---male and female have decomposed as well, and I know only that they are energy and love, and that love takes so many shapes and sizes and colours. Everyone here is imperfect if they are to be measured, but they are perfect if they are to be loved, because love is free, untethered, and ubiquitous. A girl asks me if I am high---the word and its intent reaches me as if through water and across ages of peaceful sleep without any thought of words at all. I cannot recall what high is, how high and alcohol are related. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I cannot recall what high is, how high and alcohol are related.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
More words follow. Infused with the music and heat is the powerful smell of sweat. Sweat drifts slowly through the water as well---I recall it as a liquid, like alcohol. But sweat is made when the bodies move, when the bodies are powerful and are full of energy. Sweat and sex are intertwined, and sex is the transfer of energy. Sweat is the by-product of energy. And love is the result of this energy.
<br>
<br>
A group of girls grabs me as I drink water at the bar. I dance; they make eager sounds, and we are happy. They are beautiful; everyone who is happy is beautiful: I can see their joy in their faces, and the joy spreads to my face. And when my joy spreads to theirs, I can see it and I am made even more joyous to know that my energy has been shared. I look up into the air filled with sweat and heat and sound, see the people on the pulpits to the side, smiling and throbbing to the music. I cry out that our species is beautiful---no one needs to hear, they already know if they can merely see the air.
<br>
<br>
I dance with another group, who accept me and smile as we move together. The crowd shifts, more people push their way across the floor and I dance with another group. Constantly moving. Constantly moving. People see my energy; I see theirs; we touch our hands together and utter sounds lost in the haze, but our eyes say it all: fantastic---we are agreed.
<br>
<br>
Suddenly I look around, wondering what the hell is happening? Everyone here is dressed so strangely, and I can't understand why. The mood is great and everyone is happy, but I begin to understand I'm in a bar somewhere with a bunch of cross-dressers. I go looking for my sweater, which I never find. I wonder what time it is, and realize what alcohol is, and that everyone around me is marinaded in it. This is now mostly the acid talking.
<br>
<br>
On the street the strange creatures don't make any more sense than inside the bar. I don't understand what everyone is doing; slowly the word Halloween starts to filter towards me. This is difficult to process, as things still look odd and I can't place them all. The costumes unnerve me---I hope they're mostly costumes, and not the acid screaming.
<br>
<br>
I begin to walk up and down the block, crossing the street, asking people what they are, and then trying to remember what those things are. One is dressed as a piece of corn; I cannot recall what corn is, but have a sudden powerful recollection of childhood, playing piece of corn with my mother, a game in which I was buttered and peppered and salted and would run away once I was to be eaten. I decide against mentioning this game.
<br>
<br>
I'm walking bizarrely. Not a wayward drunk, but a hopping and sliding hippie peering at objects and balancing my dancing motions with tight-rope walking arms. Someone is asking me for molly, and I try to explain that our species is one collective consciousness---and that meant that someone somewhere on mdma was just as good as him here on mdma. I think he tells me to fuck off. That's the kind of thanks you get for enlightening your fellow man.
<br>
<br>
On the way home I call Lyon, hoping to catch him doing much the same on the way home from the bar. He's asleep however. The suburbs are back to their slow, slumbering self. He's asking how I am and I hear myself incoherently mention something to the effect of drugs, our species, and collective consciousness. This is mostly me talking.
<br>
<br>
Halloween makes no sense on a headful of acid. You feel yourself to be the only sane one, and that the world is comically tearing itself apart as its transvestites celebrate clothing of any sort. Fucking weirdos.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2012</td><td width="90">ExpID: 98237</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 21</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 31, 2017</td><td>Views: 1,359</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=98237&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=98237&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Mushrooms (39), LSD (2), Methoxetamine (527) : Club / Bar (25), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis - Hash</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">61 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Substances &amp; Doses
<br>
1 and a half Hoffman blotter of LSD + smoking superb 'Super Hiah' Hashish throughout the experience (roughly 2 grams).
<br>
<br>
Background info:
<br>
I am a 22 year old young man who's had well over 15 Psilocybian Mushroom experiences, 3 Amazing Yopo experiences, 1 deliberate low dose, threshold Datura-tea experience, 4 LSD experiences of which the last 2 were very intense, too many XTC or 'E' (MDMA) experiences to remember and 1 plateau 3 DXM experience. Yes I am an entheogenic man and the last 2 drugs
<br>
I mentioned are the odd ones out. I am a regular hash smoker too, using it semi-recreational/semi-medicational (Helps calm my chaotic ADD mind and concentrate much better). My first mushroom trip was VERY bad, but it's been the only bad trip I've had.
<br>
<br>
Me and 3 friends decided to drop some acid on a certain day. The acid was obtained in the early evening and 9 o'clock we found ourselves in my rather large, cosy 2nd floor room, sitting on a plateau of mattresses smoking Hash and Weed in dimmed lights, preparing for the Wierdness to come. Let's call my Friends Skank, Alice, Duck &amp; Cat. Skank's male and Alice is his girlfriend. Duck's male and Cat is his girlfriend.
<br>
<br>
The Experience:
<br>
<br>
ONSET:
<br>
10 minutes to 10 that night we all took our hits of acid, all starting with half a blotter. it took about 15 to 30 minutes, keeping the blotters under our tongues, when we already felt minor, but defenite, strange sensations. From here on I will tell the experience purely subjectively; What I experienced.
<br>
<br>
As it gradually got stronger, the first wave came in the form of a dizzyness/stupor combined with general psychic excitation. A Defenite Change of perception was obvious. Then it left again totally and came back in another wave. It felt like a combination of Joy and fear equally mixed. Then it would leave again leaving us with a mild high, similar to that of eating hash brownies. This was however just the beginning and the waves would take us higher and higher as the trip progressed.
<br>
<br>
TRIP:
<br>
Next thing I knew we were all experiencing this unspeakably strange sensation which was so strange it made us all laugh uncontrollably: An equal combination of Physical AND Mental Joy, Hypersensitivity, Fear, Paranoia, sexual arousal and general Hysteria. After observing people's behaviour on acid, and my own experiences and behavior, I find it fair to say
<br>
that LSD makes people rather 'Magically enlightened through Divine Visionary Hysteria'. We were all laughing like crazy and having increasingly more incoherent conversations. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">We were all laughing like crazy and having increasingly more incoherent conversations.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
At a given point I started talking philosophically and introspectively with Alice; the only one who caught my spiritual vibe. I was discussing with her how I found that LSD tends to loosen up the Psyche so much that people under its influence become INCREDIBLY highly suggestive. We had a blast communicating with half words, incoherent lines and gibberish and still understanding each other perfectly. We seemed perfectly clairvoyant towards each other. I told her how you could give someone 5 blotters, tell them over and over again that their name is Bertus Octavianus Antioggio and they would believe it for the rest of their Life. In this situation I realised: LSD oughta be legal and the KING of all psychiatric medicine. Making the Mind that suggestible, that loose, it becomes kneadable for personality change and the undoing of bad habits. The power of LSD's energy can get anything done spiritually if guided consciously with strong intent. From Psychological, introspective Therapy to Spiritual endeavors such as Dreamwork, Divination and Enlightenment.
<br>
<br>
The next phase, 'cause I experience LSD always in different phases of effects, was very visual. I would see flower-shaped, colored mandalas everywhere. They swirled and were very persistently there whenever I would pay attention to them. On Acid I've found it's easy to be so drawn into my own psyche that I can easily forget all about the outside world, but when I take only one second to look at my surroundings everything seems paved, liquifying and distorted and is crawling with a sort of overlayed moving grid of geometrical, flower/plant shaped patterns. What's with the Geometrical Patterns? So peculiar about visual Psychedelics.
<br>
<br>
Then all of a Sudden Cat gave off a rather bad vibe by being grumpy and saying she didn't feel all right in my house from the start. I sat on Skank and Alice's side of the mattress: The Joyful side. Whenever I came close to Cat I felt a negative, heavy vibe. Duck must have felt this too because he became a little fed up with her grumpyness and joined 'our side' of the mattress. It was truly so that night that my mattress-floor chillout had become split into Joy-side and a Frustration-side. Needless to say on which side I stayed all night.
<br>
<br>
I went to the bathroom to look in the Mirror. So many people say 'You should never look in mirrors while on acid!' but I've found exactly THIS to be VERY fascinating. I looked into the mirror and saw the 1000 different me's. My face morphed although not in a physically visual way. It was rather the Character my face Radiated that was morphing. The impression my face had changed and shifted and I saw how Ugly I was AS WELL AS how beautiful I was and Realised that being Beautiful/Attractive or being Ugly/Unattractive is mostly the way you look at it. The meaning of 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' became yet another grade clearer to me. The Power/Energy that was radiating through my eyes in the mirror was just Terrifyingly strong.
<br>
I felt blessed with a Divine, extremely powerful and alien energy.
<br>
<br>
Because Cat was feeling rather uncomfortable, we had the idea of going outside to possibly make her feel better. At first I was completely paranoid about going outside in the state we were in. I was trying to take care and be the responsibility of the group as I am usually the most clearminded of my 'travelling company'. So I offered the plan to go outside but stay in my garden. We sat in my beautiful garden. It must have been around 4 in the morning by then and we were seriously enlightened by the sight of my beautiful nightly garden, the nightly sky filled with stars and the cool, yet not cold, nightly breeze. Suddenly Alice and Skank walked out of my Garden and I became concerned as Cat and Duck were still in my garden with me. Two people wandering off into the night being bewitched by LSD sounded like potential disaster to me so I quickly told Duck and Cat that Skank and Alice had left my garden and that we'd better follow and join them to be sure they'd be allright. And so we did.
<br>
<br>
We followed them outside my block, where in the magic of the night I changed my Mind about staying 'safe and sound' in my room. I told Alice that I changed my mind and that it had been an EXCELLENT idea to go outside. I made the plan to go to a 24/7 gas station shop to buy some cigarettes and candy. It was only about 200 meters away from my house. Only me and Cat were 'sensible' enough to go inside and buy what we needed. We sat down behind the gas station afterwards and looked at the streets, the skies and each other. We just burst into laughter as it was a maniacally strange moment. Feeling truly bewitched by equally good and evil Magic we laughed out loud. Sitting there looking at Alice I thought she looked like Alice from Alice in Wonderland. Her Character and her appearance. On our way back walking through the streets we were just awestruck by everything. The Sky looked as though it was an endless Blue/Magenta/Purple Crystal plane high over our heads and the Trees seemed to lean over our heads as if it were dark, magical fairytale. I could swear it was JUST like I had walked straight into a Salvador Dalí painting.
<br>
<br>
We went back home and sat in my garden for a while. Cat's grumpyness hadn't passed yet and while speaking rather philosophically (more sort of thinking out loud) Cat got annoyed with me and reacted kind of falsely and sharply, which was kind of a buzzkill. What I did about it was leave Duck and Cat behind in my garden and join Skank and Alice with their eternally positive vibe. We smoked our last joints and they went home before sunrise.
<br>
<br>
Throughout the trip I felt these unearthly bodily sensations that I can only describe as a cross between Extreme sedation and Extreme stimulation, paired with occasional feelings of Liquifying and melting. The last wave of the trip, walking home from the 24/7 shop was most magical and enlightening.The Hash and Weed we smoked seemed to increase the strange bodily sensations and numbness a lot and time and time again seemed to trigger another wave of Acid's intensity. There was no such thing as 'Time' in the experience. It was an eternal moment that could have been a couple of hours as easily as a couple of days. Wonderfull Excursion.
<br>
<br>
Blessed be Albert Hoffman!<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2007</td><td width="90">ExpID: 70727</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 22</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 31, 2017</td><td>Views: 1,660</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=70727&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=70727&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 cig.</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">250 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
After setting up my campsite at Bonna ‘09, I was lying on the grass trying to stay out of the sun when a guy in his mid 20’s walked up to me and asked me if I wanted some molly. I said no politely and he proceeded on his way, before he was out of view though I yelled across for him to come back. I asked him if he knew where I could get some acid. He told me to follow him, I did. We walked two tents over from mine to a group of tents under a large green tarp, that I later named ‘tent city‘. The guy said wait here and walked into the darkness that lurked in tent city, about a minute later he returned with another mid 20’s guy.
<br>
<br>
Mid 20’s guy number two walks up to me and we shake hands, the other guy walks away.
<br>
“what do you need” he says
<br>
“lsd” I reply
<br>
“Is two for 15 alright with you?” he asks
<br>
I reply with a simple nod of my head and he creeps back into tent city. I wait anxiously for him to return, after about 5 minutes he comes back.
<br>
“I cut these strips pretty fat, so enjoy”
<br>
“Thanks man, I appreciate it” I shake his hand again.
<br>
<br>
We go our separate ways, I return to my campsite ecstatic to drop for the first time in over 3 months. Upon inspection of the tabs I realize its 3 tabs cut into 2 making them both rectangular shapes rather than squares with a small perforation going through one side. I decided that night will be the night I take it, with no hesitation I pop the first in my mouth. I wait a little while for the second because I don’t know the strength of the blotter and I wanted to get a feel for the strength without it hitting me like a train.
<br>
<br>
Everything is going well and I feel the acid and I see the bands I intended on, so I pop the second. I feel the second everything is a little bit nuts but definitely something I have under control. I go see the last band I wanted to see of the night and me and my friends head back to our campsite. I’m having a really good time when I get there so I decide to smoke a joint of this killer weed I had picked up specifically for Bonnaroo. I start to feel odd, unexplainably odd, I get into my tent take off my shoes and lay down onto my back looking up at the ceiling of the tent. I start to see some pretty intense waves on the walls, it starts to storm outside and the whole tent is shaking. Lighting was crashing all around me my heart was pounding and I felt as though I couldn’t breathe. I feel myself being pulled away from everything around me very quickly. I tried to tell my friends I was having a bad trip, but they didn’t know what to do because they didn’t have any experience with psychedelics like I have. All I could do is lay there and take it in, suddenly I couldn’t tell if my eyes were opened or closed. My first thoughts is that I was dead balancing between heaven and hell in some kind of purgatory type realm, I figured I OD‘d. I talked myself down by saying repeatedly to myself “you can’t OD on lsd“. It became like a song in my head, a beat. After what felt like years I realized I wasn’t dead and where I was. For a short amount of time I was under control.
<br>
<br>
I looked about the tent and it became a different place then a tent in Manchester, TN on the Bonnaroo campgrounds. It became an open field of tall grass swaying back and forth with many hills and a light blue sky. Slowly it became the tent again, everything was out of place and nothing felt quite right. I couldn’t do anything but close my eyes and try to ignore it, when I closed my eyes though all I could see was a small cube of multicolored lights that said something in the middle, as I kept my eyes closed longer it got larger and larger. As it became larger it was very clear what it said: YOU ARE ON LSD in bold letters. Every time the colors changed I could feel each individual color pour into me but not my body into me, as in my soul. After what felt like years it went away, all I could see was black. I began to transcend my body, I felt my body dissipating from me. I was my soul out of my body, racing through space, stars shooting past me, free beyond any way of describing it. I then transcended time and space, I reached total inner peace and connection with myself. At this point I believe that I was at a ++++ on the Shulgin Rating Scale. I don’t remember anything that happened past this point, I passed out.
<br>
<br>
The next morning I awoke shaking, I got out of the tent and walked to the bathrooms. On my way a group of people stopped and asked me if I was ok, I said yes and realized I must look like absolute shit from the complete and utter mind fuck that had taken place the night before. I thought I had a bad trip, I now realize that’s completely opposite of what happened. I reached who I really am as a person and am forever changed by the first night of Bonnaroo 2009.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2009</td><td width="90">ExpID: 79443</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 2, 2017</td><td>Views: 1,271</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=79443&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=79443&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Festival / Lg. Crowd (24), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 cig.</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">56 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
For a while I have harboured the ambition of taking LSD in my own home, a 15 acre property surrounded by lush forest and a large dam. I currently still live with my parents, so this wasn't possible until I explained my reasons to them, having taken mushrooms and smoked pot themselves they understood and it seemed they were even intrigued as to what experiences I might have.
<br>
<br>
So I and three friends travelled from town to my place, and got comfortable in my small pad a few hundred metres from the house, the day was incredibly windy with scattered clouds. T offered us all a small amount of MDMA powder which we ate, this was around 12 o'clock. We didn't feel much affects from this but it certainly put us all in the right frame of mind for what was about to come. We chatted and riffled over music for a few hours and then at 2 o'clock I produced the goods. 4 tabs of lsd labelled with the cute and cheeky Mr. Felix the cat (a word goes out to whomever made this batch as it held a high reputation as being some of the trippiest acid our collective has ever tried) we all consumed with smiles on our faces.
<br>
<br>
We left our room shortly after that, wrapped in blankets and using short bursts of our lighters to guide us through the pitch black and on our walk. We crossed a large paddock and took rest on the side of the grassy dam embankment for a cigarette. It was shortly after this that the clouds parted and the full glory of the night sky was revealed, it was then that nature seemed to call forward our coming trip and we all simultaneously lay back in astonishment, mouths open barely believing what was happening. Then we looked at each other and began to laugh, we stood up, the heavy wind took hold of our blankets and it felt like we were taking in everything at high speed, a huge smile was spread across our faces. We walked up the embankment to reveal the huge volume of water that was behind us all along, dully lit by the stars.
<br>
<br>
I led our little group into the forest stopping on the way to pick up what I thought to be a bone, but turned out to be a stick resembling a short staff with the head of a dragon (still treasure that to this day) As we walked we discussed how the darkness enveloped us in the most comforting way possibly, like we could be anywhere at all hugged by the vastness of infinity. We all hugged and made a den with our blankets, it was wonderful.
<br>
<br>
We returned back to the room and listened to music and fell deep into hallucinations. Paintings I had done over the past few years covered the walls and the heater sent a current of warm air up, fluttering the prayer fags and over all giving the feeling of the whole room flying through a vast plane, I’d look at my friend and we'd turn to the walls and lay back in wonder. The palette of colour in that room was like nothing I’ve ever seen.
<br>
<br>
After a while we settled down a bit and ventured outside again only to jump back as we realised the sun was about to rise, we once again made the same journey we'd made earlier that night but this time it was nature the surrounded and hugged us. The wind raced by, everything around us, the trees, and the grass was a mass of intense lush green movement. We paused in the middle of the paddock to look deep into the grass and admire it incredible beauty and endlessness.
<br>
<br>
Once we reached the top of dam I turned round and leaned back as far as I could without falling over. My vision at that point was vast I could see everything all around my, the wind stretched the tips of the trees off into the distance, everything swirly and moving, alive! At this point I felt no longer human but a part of everything around me, as green and alive as what I was seeing. Then my friend pointed to the sky a humongous cloud was above us, lit red on the edges by the rising sun, suddenly the whole cloud and many of the surrounding clouds became brightly red, shiny, smooth, then soft and organic (we all saw this so I’m quite certain this beautiful sight would have been just as amazing if we weren’t on acid) I concentrated on the cloud as it moved slowly, with grace and purpose. Then to my astonishment a lion cub appeared atop it, proud and facing the wind, he took a giant leap and fell plunging into the green paddock before me; this is a memory that will stick with me forever, a building block of my life I am sure.
<br>
<br>
We continued into the forest, everything became increasingly alive, birds, insects, green lush filled every sight. We strayed off the path and into this wonderland, touching, observing and saying to each other how fulfilling it all was. We headed back to the room for the last time and sat and smoked and discussed, all very happy with our adventure.
<br>
<br>
This was the only trip I’ve had so far that has been completely void of any bad feeling. Setting was crucial and so were the people I was with.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2008</td><td width="90">ExpID: 76211</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 22, 2017</td><td>Views: 971</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=76211&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=76211&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:15</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">175 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
My friends used to do acid quite frequently at my house but I was unsure about it and the way it made them act very differently, it was kind of scary because of its unfamiliarity. My best friend N used to do it often and we had a lot in common in the way we think about things, so one Friday night I decided to take it with him at his house and see what all the fuss was about.
<br>
<br>
I put a hit on my tongue at about 7p.m. and tried to forget about it - I didn't want to worry, just wanted to see what would happen. After about 30 minutes I didn't feel any different, but N assured me it'd come on soon. Sure enough about 15 minutes after that he was like 'Don't things just look a little different to you?' and, looking over at a box of Trix cereal, it did look different and I didn't know in what way, but the rabbit was sort of moving and the lettering started becoming wavy and vivid.
<br>
<br>
When it kicked in we decided to roll up a blunt on his back patio. The broken up bud was moving all over the plate so it was hard to 'catch it' to begin rolling. Finally after like 30 minutes I finished it and after a few puffs I passed it to N and looked over at his yard. It was autumn so his trees were without leaves and very tall and with skinny branches...and the second I look over at them the acid just hits me and the tree is like waving out of control, its branches swirling and what not. That was the start of the real experience which was around 8:30 and I took the 2 other hits and realized how serious but incredible the drug can be. The weed kind of helped to make it kick in.
<br>
<br>
I went into his kitchen and looked at the pattern on the floor. It is a kind of random speckling of broken colored fragments on a white tile. As I watched the fragments they seemed to flow together and expand out, kind of like a river. Some of them seemed to pop out of the floor and they all kind of came together in the center and this beautiful blue aura of light was shaded on and around them. This was around the height of my trip. I went into N's room, of course decorated with glow in the dark stars, black lights, and posters. He had some stars arranged on his ceiling that spelled out the word 'PIMP'. As I watched the stars they all were spinning fast and counterclockwise. The posters of girls looked like they were moving, coming out at me, taunting me even.
<br>
<br>
We both felt like being around some more people so we invited these 2 girls over to his house. I went outside and looked at the car they arrived in, it was dark and its headlights were on as it rolled up and it looked kind of strange...like it was moving around little when it was parked. When they got out of the car we realized they were falling down drunk, and their ride took off. The one girl wanted my friend N and the other girl was all over me. The two of us went into N's bedroom and at that point I was more interested in the visuals in his room than the girl. I felt very relaxed and like an observer of a spectactle bigger than myself. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I felt very relaxed and like an observer of a spectactle bigger than myself.</div></div> I felt detached from my body, enlightened, very entertained, and gained a better understanding of things around me through this spiritual state of bewilderment.
<br>
<br>
<span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. <a href="/chemicals/show_image.php?i=dmt/dmt_contraindications1.gif">Don't do it!</a>]</span>
<br>
<br>
At around 4a.m. I drove home and on the way I kept hearing weird noises sounding like they were coming from my car's engine or something but I knew it was all in my head because it was a brand new car.
<br>
<br>
Overall I was surprised at the amount of control I had over myself even though I was in a totally different, strange, but very intriguing and interesting state of mind at the same time and for the first time. It was a very positive experience since I was around my best friend and in a familiar environment. Hope you enjoyed reading my first experience.
<br>
<br>
Peace - sm138.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 35197</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 13, 2017</td><td>Views: 1,018</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=35197&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=35197&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">130 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I had my first experience with LSD about a year ago when I was 18, and I had been a regular cannabis smoker for about a year. I had a good friend that had tried it multiple times and she would always share with me her experiences. I was extremely curious to try it, but hesitant since I wasn't in the best mental state. In fact, this was probably one of the lowest points in my life. I had just recently starting to see a therapist due to my 'abnormal behavior.' I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety, major depression, and borderline personality disorder. My worst fear was going into a bad trip and not being able to get out of it or it causing some kind of long term trauma. It was between Oct. and Dec. when I was first getting introduced to the idea, and my friend had offered me some a few times, but I just told her that I was going to wait until I knew I was ready.
<br>
<br>
Fast forward to Jan. - something in my head told me I wanted to try it. I don't know if it was something compulsive or what since this was almost a year ago. I texted my friend and told her I was ready to try it whenever she could get it and to do it quick before I changed my mind.
<br>
<br>
After she bought the tabs she called me over and I dropped by her place after my classes, say around 3:30 PM. She had told me I could either take it then and there or wait until the next day since she had an overnight shift and I had just decided to take it right then and there. I told her I only wanted to take half a tab since I was worried about the effects. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I told her I only wanted to take half a tab since I was worried about the effects.</div></div> She assured me that it was nothing to worry about, but she'd give me half a tab anyways. I put the tab under my tongue and left it there for about 15-20 min before swallowing it. My friend had to run to see her dad for a drug test so while she did that I stayed at her place and watched Elf.
<br>
<br>
I started feeling extremely mild effects about 30-45 minutes later. It wasn't anything very noticeable but I definitely knew it was the LSD kicking in. It was a mild uncomfortable feeling like I want to jump out of my skin. Or like when I feel a compulsion and try to resist it and I get that distinct body anxiety. However, that was only part of the come-up. I was looking for any visuals and didn't see anything. I do remember looking at myself on Snapchat and telling my friend that it looked like my eyes, nose, and mouth weren't attached to my face. I also remember when I was watching Elf that Buddy screamed something and then it echoed. I got kind of confused because I knew it wasn't the TV, but other than that everything still seemed the same.
<br>
<br>
About 2-3 hours after taking the tab I still wasn't noticing many effects so my friend told me to smoke, which would increase the visuals and everything else - was she right! The first hit I took was huge and I couldn't really feel a burn in my throat at all. When I blew it out, everything made like a wave effect. Kind of like the effect they use in movies to transition from reality to a dream. Things started getting floaty and breathing almost. On the TV it was almost like it was 3D, things were raised and there was a more defined line. My friend made us some spaghetti and when I looked at it, it almost looked like it was moving like a pile of worms, but I knew it was just in my head. When I went to the bathroom my friend had told me to beware of the mirror, which I tried to avoid looking at but I did anyways. Now that - was weird as hell - I felt like I was looking at someone else, but I knew it was me. My eyes looked buggy and the more I looked into them the more weirded out I got. I noticed that if I opened my eyes really big I got these unexplainable visuals. I also noticed that my piss looked like I was peeing out acid... it was like a black or greeny like color. I'm still not sure if that's actually how it looks or if it's just in my head since it went away after my trip was over.
<br>
<br>
Around 7:30 PM my friend heads off to work and I'm there at her place alone. Before she left she reminded me that everything was based on my mind set, which I continuously reminded myself. I just sat there on the sofa staring at my surroundings and the TV. Everything still looks floaty and breathing like. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I just sat there on the sofa staring at my surroundings and the TV. Everything still looks floaty and breathing like.</div></div> There's patterns on the wall. Everything that I look at almost looks zoomed in. There's a portrait on her wall that her roommate had drawn out and I remember watching this video of this girl explaining how she saw a Buddha go from smiling to frowning, so I decided to see if I could get myself to see that with the portrait. At first I couldn't tell if it was working, but then the face would either smile or frown. It felt like time didn't exist. Time felt infinite and whenever I'd try to count... 1... 2... 3... I'd just get myself confused because as I'm saying one I felt like 20 minutes went by. At some point during this trip I decide to go out to my car for something (I don't remember what) and when I was walking out there it was dark and kind of spooky, but I kept reminding myself that I was safe and everything was in my head. When I got into my car I remember reaching over the the passenger side floor and thinking I saw a spider. Then one small spider turned into a bunch crawling out from my car floor. At first I panicked, but then I realized that it wasn't possible and that it was all in my head. I got the hell out of the car since it still freaked me out (I have a huge phobia of spiders).
<br>
<br>
I have a note on my phone from this trip at 7:53 PM and I wrote out 'I am in my own world. Not where I block everyone out but where I see EVERYTHING at a third person perspective. I feel so distant from everyone but in almost a way that makes me feel entitled.' I wish I could evaluate on that last part of being entitled, but I really can't remember. I can say that while tripping, it changes your perspective. It almost makes you feel like you're in a Nuke Town. You feel like your on a different dimension than others, and everyone else isn't real. Almost like you're God looking down on all the little people. I remember talking to my friends on Skype and wanting to socialize with them but I couldn't. I felt so distant from them, which kind of upset me. It didn't affect the trip, but I will admit that I did get somewhat lonely. At some point my friend's roommate comes home (I didn't even realize that she was coming home that night which scared the shit out of me). We chatted for a bit. I struggled with some of my words and couldn't really talk the clearest because every time I'd try, whatever I heard myself saying would get distorted and I'd get confused or lose my train of thought. I know I couldn't stop looking at her big forehead because there was some patterns on it. We smoked some weed together and then she went up to her room to go to bed.
<br>
<br>
The rest of the night, from what I can recall, I just watched Netflix. I watched Willy Wonka (with Johnny Depp) and That 70's Show. I noticed that I could see almost every micro-expression in their faces. The more I stare the more weird shit I see. I know there were times that I was just completely zoned out in my thoughts that I forgot my vision was a thing. I remember also staring at the TV and the colors would change. I remember feeling like there was some life answer that I was expecting or that this trip was something extraordinary. I'm not sure how to explain it, but I know there was almost some kind of dissatisfaction feeling.
<br>
<br>
It was about 12 AM when I started feeling the effects die down, which was slightly disappointing. I smoked more hoping it'd pull me back into the trip, which kind of worked, but also made me feel sleepy. About an hour or two later there isn't much effect, and I mostly just feel mentally exhausted so I smoke some more and go to bed. I remember being told that you have crazy dreams after dropping acid, but I don't recall having any.
<br>
<br>
The next morning I woke up still feeling a little off. I definitely noticed that I was still seeing vivid, which I didn't notice much when I was actually tripping. I had only gotten 4 hour max of sleep and I had to head to my morning class. It was about an hour drive which was no problem but I noticed that it was hard to talk to people and I was being quieter. I still felt like I was slipping up some of my words and I realized later my pupils were still dilated. My brain felt like mush. It was hard to focus on anything. I remember just sitting in a private study room thinking about the whole trip and everything that happened, but I couldn't read a simple math problem. I was mentally exhausted. When I'm tripping my brain works faster than time. It's like it's going on overdrive and when it's done it can't work anymore.
<br>
<br>
Despite the exhaustion, I felt refreshed. I had just had a life changing experience.<!-- LSD is definitely something I believe that almost everyone should try at least once in their life. It's an unexplainable experience that you can't even get a glimpse of unless you try it. --> Since my first experience I've tried acid countless of times and never have I experienced a bad trip. It's important to place myself in a happy and safe environment with those I trust. My mind is key because everything I see and feel is all in my head. <!--Of course it couldn't happen without the LSD, but if you ever feel yourself slipping into a bad trip watch something happy, think happy, remind yourself that it's just a drug and you're not dying. If that doesn't help, then benzos can help reduce/stop a bad trip.--><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2017</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111271</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 22, 2017</td><td>Views: 1,098</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111271&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111271&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Combinations (3), First Times (2), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 bowl</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Pharms - Lamotrigine </td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This is a pretty simple analysis of my trip tonight: A strange and unusual sense of comfortable, yet disturbing and highly disorienting intensity.
<br>
<br>
Set ~ Been a decent day, work went well and I didn't feel fatigued or depressed from my MDMA roll the night before.
<br>
<br>
Setting ~ My best friends house on a Sunday night.
<br>
<br>
8:50 ~ Orally ingested 2 blotter tabs of LSD. I am very experienced with this chemical, and have also tripped on 25i once and 25c two ~ three times. Given these encounters with research chems, I've found a distinct difference in those chemicals vs. LSD, giving me high confidence on determining if the trip was to be LSD, or a research chem such as an nBome.
<br>
<br>
9:00 ~ The tabs don't taste bitter or metallic like an nbome, providing me relief on whether it would be or not. (Although I have a fairly trusted but newer connection). My friend, his brother and I we're watching American Horror Story during the Murder House season. Horror films/visual stimuli have never spun me into a bad trip before, so I felt pretty confident in my setting - it is also dark in the room, only lit by the television. I tend to enjoy darker environments when I trip.
<br>
<br>
9:45 - 10:00pm ~ The familiar and comfortable swooning, smooth body high had began. Around this time the visuals began to follow suit, starting very subtly then gaining intensity, as they usually do for me. The television screen seemes drenched in a layer of color, seeming more vibrant than before. Tendrils of various colors like red, green and bright yellow stream along the front of the screen, seeming highly noticeable, fading in and out every few seconds. I glance to the wall that is fully covered with posters, including an old Hendrix poster along with a marilyn monroe poster. They seem to be drenched in color as well, and seeming to wave and breathe up and down while still being on the wall. My friend packs a bong load with some moderate/not great quality shake weed.
<br>
<br>
He takes a hit then offers me one, to which I accept. Taking three or four long hits each, my body felt a familiar warmth from the bud along with my swooning body high. My friend, only 2 beers deep prior to this smoke sesh, now seems quite stoned and drowsy from the weed. We begin watching some good old It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, which adds a much more humorous vibe between our commentary (which is now more minimal).
<br>
<br>
10:30 ~ My friend seems sleepy laying in his bean bag infront of the TV, his brother mostly on his phone - we chat every few minutes. I feel very stimulated and awake from the acid, watching the show and enjoying the visuals on the screen and the walls and ceiling. The visuals have begun to heavily gain in intensity. My mind set feels overall good, but strange in the sense that I'm recollecting on a conversation with my girlfriend about pregnancy. This gives my mindset an eerie and rather haunting emotional vibration. We we're worried about it for her from a sexual encounter, and are getting a test in two days. My thoughts on it seem positive yet negative at the same time, some mild fear and loathing accompanied by re - assured positivity and resolve.
<br>
<br>
10:45 ~ Recollecting now, at 5:48 am, the timeline seems blurry, but I believe it was around 10:45 or 11:00, fuck, perhaps 12:30 I ventured into the colorful and pitch dark hallway to the bathroom - this is where the brief, and memorably intense trip phase/time lapse occurred.
<br>
<br>
10:45 or 11:00, fuck, perhaps 12:30 ~ Entered the bathroom and flipped on the bright light - the mirror's edges gently wavered, along with the white and dark green tiling on the counter and bath tub. I down my usual perscribed dose of Lamotragine (Mood stabilizer) with water, then take a piss. My hands felt strangely greasy and sweaty (which they never really are) as I did so.
<br>
<br>
Suddenly, a wave of detaching psychosis pulsed through me. I feel more stimulated and energized than before I entered here, my balance seemed to slightly waver back and forth. Thoughts of confusion and spiraling questioning flooded my mind - feeling like I was almost equally overwhelmed by confusion and questioning. This didn't feel dysphoric/fearful, but seemed very intense and disortienting. Recollecting now, it's hard to describe my exact thought train(s) - I found myself glaring down at the green marbled tile outside of the sink's rim as I wash my hands. The marbled patters seemed to be flowing and moving back and forth fairly rapidly, the light also seemed to yield streaks of color. Questions like 'Why am I in here? Who? What? Or Where?' Came to me seemingly all at once. Then I felt confused and almost paralyzed by my unusually abysmal mind set, seeming manageable - yet heavily disorienting and confusing. I felt partially but not fully detached from myself while comprehending that I was bending over running water over my soapy hands. Awe struck, fairly confused on my thought train, seems hard to focus on one of the many simple questions racing in my head. This feels not dysphoric/uncomfortable, but highly intense.
<br>
<br>
Looking back, the brief psychosis period that seemed reminiscent of a high-dosed psilocybin experience seemed to last about 5 minutes - overall sending the visual intensity rocketing into hyperdrive, and warping my minds sense of orientation heavily. Since this trip, I've only experienced states of overbearing, stimulating confusion that match this on psilocybin. (Typically at a 6 gram dosage of Cubensis)<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2016</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111350</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 28, 2017</td><td>Views: 1,128</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111350&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111350&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">440 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">.5 joints/cigs</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">600 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/ketamine/">Ketamine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">67 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I had done several drugs before this experience; I smoked a lot of weed every day and used other substances regularly. I'd done LSD before. I dropped a 220ug tab and it turned out to be one of the best experiences of my life. I'd also done a fair bit of Ketamine before. Beforehand I wasn't nervous at all, in fact, I was feeling quite confident; I thought I had enough experience with these drugs, but I didn't know what I was in for.
<br>
<br>
I dropped two 220ug tabs about 21:00, I was accompanied by my 14y/o step-brother who'd done a bit himself at the same time. The acid took about 40-45 minutes to kick in I started by getting some faint visuals. My step-brother had some stickers on his wall and almost simultaneously we said: 'Are the stickers peeling off?'. Although I knew they weren't I got up to check, low and behold they were flush against the wall. It was then I noticed the ceiling seemed lower and the corners of the room were curved.
<br>
<br>
About half an hour later I phoned my friend and I was in a very happy, loving mood I kept saying 'I love you'. After the call finished I forgot who I just talked to, confused, I decided to look in my contacts list. I didn't recognize a single person. After this I went into my room for a bit to play guitar, the fretboard was pulsating and each note resonated and sounded beautiful I went back into my stepbrother's room and he was really scared because he'd never done LSD before.
<br>
<br>
We sat on his bed for about 20 minutes, tripping balls, not saying a word. Finally, he broke the silence and said: 'What do you want to do now?'. I asked him if he wanted to smoke some weed so I got him to roll a joint (strain: Critical Mass) because I wasn't in the state too. Whilst he was rolling he asked if I had any ket, so I went to my room to get some. When I walked through the door I forgot what I came in for so I went back to ask my step-brother what I was looking for. I did this 3 more times and finally, I had to keep saying 'Ketamine' so I could remember. We smoked this joint out his bedroom window and listening to trippy music, I felt happy as Larry.
<br>
<br>
<span class="erowid-warning">[Erowid Note:
The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]</span>
<br>
<br>
Next, I asked my stepbrother to cut up some lines of ket and since he'd never snorted anything before he had made the biggest lines I had ever seen (although I didn't realize he'd used all of it). The 0.6g was split into 3 lines, he snorted one and I did two. The weird part is the next day I found out he didn't do any ket at all but I finished it all by myself. I couldn't get my head around it - I clearly saw him do a line.
<br>
<br>
10 minutes later the K hit me hard and my vision went bug-eyed. Then I couldn't see the outside world at all, instead, I was seeing trippy images - sort of thing you'd see if you looked it up on the internet. My step-brother was speaking to me but I couldn't reply or move as I was in the K-Hole. My step-brother announced he was going to bed, so after a while, I managed to move again. He led me into my room, onto my bed and turned my light off. This was when things got bad.
<br>
<br>
I would've turned on my light because I was getting scared had I not have been paralyzed, so I just lay there tripping very hard. About an hour passed when everything got bad. What I was seeing slowing starting fading into white, then I saw a light. That classic light at the end of the tunnel stuff, so I approached it. Then... I went blind. I couldn't see anything and I slowly I lost the feeling of my body. It was the scariest thing that had ever happened to me. I had lost all my senses. I kept thinking 'Am I dying?'. Then my mind went dead. This bit is hard to explain unless it happens to you. I couldn't think, but I knew I had died and I stayed like that for what felt like an eternity.
<br>
<br>
I don't remember coming back around, in fact, I don't remember much at all after that. except I stayed up until 10:00 - because I was too shaken to sleep. When morning came and light returned to my room I was still tripping. The visuals made me feel sick, like when you get very drunk and you smell alcohol the next day. My brain was fried and I felt grotty, and the for the next 3 days I had trouble sleeping because of what had happened.
<br>
<br>
This experience made me reconsider my drug use. I was shocked when my stepbrother told I had done all the Ketamine without realizing. It scared me and I thought that me 'dying' could be foreshadowing a later event in life as a result of drug use.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2017</td><td width="90">ExpID: 110940</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 15</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 12, 2018</td><td>Views: 2,779</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=110940&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=110940&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Ketamine (31) : Combinations (3), Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Hangover / Days After (46), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis - Hash</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Before I had taken the LSD I was already a fairly experienced drug user, having tried mushrooms, 2CB, Salvia, MDMA, Speed, and several other drugs before. Three of my closest friends and I decided we were going to try LSD. After a lot of research I realized that like all psychedelics set and setting are key in having a good trip. So on my friends 18th birthday we got his house to ourselves, thus insuring a safe environment where nothing could ruin our trip. His house was ideal for a first time LSD trip because it was fairly large and any cool art pieces we could stare at; as well as being in a fairly large gated community full of green grass and trees.
<br>
<br>
We did not eat for approximately 6 hours before ingesting the Acid. We ate 2 tabs straight away, putting the lil pieces of paper in our mouth and letting it sit under our tongue for around 5 minutes. After 5 minutes we swallowed the acid, sat on the couch and began the waiting game. Like with most psychedelics the waiting point is often the most frustrating part. But within 10 minutes I felt slightly different, a subtle euphoria and the beginning stages of the acid grin. I looked to my friends who were all getting the same feeling. Unable to sit in one spot we shuffled around for around 15-20 minutes.
<br>
<br>
Slightly less than half an hour after ingesting the acid I was feeling very euphoric, and had an urge to chuckle at my inability to process what was happening to me. At this point one of other people I was with (who had not taken acid) had to leave and so we accompanied her on the walk out of the gated complex. It was on this walk that I started to feel distanced from my body. My perception of distance started to get muddled. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">My perception of distance started to get muddled.</div></div> The walk to the gate (which actually took about 5 minutes) fell incredibly long; the road felt as though it was constantly stretching and the end would never come.
<br>
<br>
After dropping off our friend, the 4 of us continued back to my friend's house. For some reason the 4 of us had the idea to smoke a lil hash in his front yard. We got the hash and I made myself one bottle toke. While exhaling the hash I looked around me at the plants and noticed that color looked extremely vibrant. I told my friends that smoking was completely useless and that I was already really gone. My friends looked around in response to my comment and noticed the plants. The trees and bushes began to move and what seemed to us, to breathe. I could feel the life force of every plant radiating around me. At this time we decided to go back inside.
<br>
<br>
The movement from the outside to the inside was a complete change in out trip (which just goes to show that set and setting means everything). Inside we started to look at everything in the house. Everything had taken on a life of its own, I remember at one point we had been staring at the carpet for over 20 minutes, when we finally realized this we began to laugh at ourselves hysterically. The laughter was uncontrollable and my one friend had to leave the room to get some air. Around this time I noted it had been around an hour to an hour and half after ingesting and we already coming up, with it only getting more intense. We decided to put some music on which put us all in a very happy state which we sat and let the music take us.
<br>
<br>
Let me just say one thing, music on acid is essential. I had a new appreciation for music. I could feel every note in my body, and it became a background for my trip. While listening to some psy trance and some pink floyd we all felt a deep connection with each other and talked about our friendship. Although this is common on drugs, the LSD made the connection feel so much more real than anything I got from MDMA. I find, and my friends agree, that acid gives me a very objective point on the world, allowing me to see it from perspectives I never knew existed, while at the same time giving me a deep empathetic connection with the world. I was surprisingly clear minded, although I was thinking in ways I never did. Although functioning on a micro level proved to be very difficult, like setting up the music or preparing the bottle to smoke. My legs felt odd, as if there was some new force pulsing through my veins and nerves. I felt surprisingly light but my motor skills were too slow to allow me free fluid movement that I might otherwise have.
<br>
<br>
After a few hours (Approx 3 1/2 hours after ingestion) we went for another walk. On this walk distance became something we could not understand. Walking on a relatively short road felt like it took forever. We went to the park, where we noticed the sky. It was a bright red and orange and looked like something out of a surreal painting. We stayed outside for approx another hour before returning home. Again the switch between outside and inside changed our experience. Outside I felt one with the world, whereas inside I began to question what existence. Whenever there would be moments of silence I would get lost in my thoughts, thinking about where I wanted to go with my life, what I had accomplished. I thought about my troubled relations with my parents and how I could improve them. The Acid led to my pseudo epiphany, I thought I had myself completely understood, and I wanted to improve myself. We went back to talking about life and listing to music.
<br>
<br>
After it had been approx 7-8 hours after ingesting we had completely stabilized. My friend's mother set up a table full of food for us, which we avoided until then. We went around the table trying different foods, it was like trying it for the first time. Finally we sat on the couch and watched a documentary on LSD where Albert Hofmann himself gives an interview in which he describes his LSD experience. I found it very difficult to concentrate on the movie, but was completely absorbed in it anyway.
<br>
<br>
It took around another 4 hours before we were able to sleep. We had all gone to our own bedrooms. I laid in bed for at least an hour enjoying the mildly fleeting CEV's. After around 12 hours after ingestion I finally dozed off.
<br>
<br>
The morning after I felt tired but mentally refreshed. I was unable to function on a micro level for the majority of the day and felt rather tired. It was not extremely debilitating, and after a good night's rest I felt completely refreshed, with a new mindset about how I was going to approach my life. In conclusion I think Acid is an amazing drug that gives me an insight to places mind might never take me otherwise. If proper research is done, along with mental preparation and sensible care Acid is a lot of fun!<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 74809</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 13, 2018</td><td>Views: 975</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=74809&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=74809&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Music Discussion (22), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 cig.</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It was close to the end of my second semester of college. I (M) had recently acquired 10 hits of LSD and my friends S and A were driving up to trip with me and my other friend J who had little drug experience at all and certainly never tripped before. The guy who I got the LSD from said that the tabs were advertised as 150ug on a dark web market but who knows what the real dosage was.
<br>
<br>
My friends arrive at around noon and we immediately drop this acid. We all head about a quarter mile away into my university's biological sanctuary because we figured that would be the best place to trip. I've only been back there a few times but once you get deep enough there are tons of obstacles for a university class taught back there.
<br>
<br>
So we are walking around when we get to a clearing in the middle of the forest and there are really tall wooden poles sticking out of the ground with cables anchoring them to the ground. On the end, the cables have little plastic sheaths. Everyone took turns grabbing them and throwing them as far as the could up the cable to see who could get theirs the farthest. Once we got bored from this we kept walking until we found two wooden poles with wooden slats between them suspended by rope. Not unlike a ladder. The first rung was about 8 or 9 feet off the ground and I wanted to try to climb it. I jumped on the first rung and was hanging when my friend pushes me causing me to fall on the ground. In the process I kneed myself in the nose (this is important later). My nose starts to bleed and hurts pretty bad, but I didn't want it to ruin my trip so I didn't dwell on it.
<br>
<br>
It was around this time that everyone began to feel the beginning of what would be an insane acid trip...except me. Everyone was saying how colors were becoming more vibrant and everyone started to giggle. Fuck. A was talking about all the fractals he was seeing and thought that he might want to take another hit. I obliged because it gave me a reason to go back and take another one too. I didn't want to be the only one not having an LSD trip. So I run back to my dorm which took about 5 minutes or so and eat another tab and pocket the other. I give it to A and he began telling me he started tripping super hard and was not sure if he should take the second tab. I reassured him that it wouldn't be bad as we had both tripped multiple times in the past. After he eats his tab we rejoin the others in the woods.
<br>
<br>
I notice that J is being really quiet which was a huge departure from the joy and awe he was feeling just before I went to grab another dose for me and A. I ask him what's wrong and immediately he goes “shhhhh! Dude the cops might hear us.” I laughed it off and told him not to worry about it we as we were pretty far from anyone in the woods that we were in. Especially far from any cops. However, over the next 5-10 minutes his paranoia and anxiousness started skyrocketing to the point that he announced he wanted to go back to his dorm and be alone. So I decided I could walk J back and meet up with my friends after.
<br>
<br>
Once I returned we sat down near a sign post and S pulled out a sandwich to eat. We were all just chilling when I got a strange feeling in my stomach. Almost like a vague sense of dread and it was at that moment that I realized that I was in way too deep and that I should have just waited instead of taking the second tab. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">it was at that moment that I realized that I was in way too deep and that I should have just waited instead of taking the second tab.</div></div> I try to play it off as my nerves just getting to me and after S finishes his sandwich we are off again.
<br>
<br>
We arrive at a small cliff (cliff really isn't the right word because it was only like 20-25 feet tall but it was a steep drop off) and we decide to sit next to it and chill for a little. At this time I'm starting to come up super fast. I keep getting this feeling that I was supposed to be doing something but I couldn't remember what it was. I look over at S and he is so relaxed and taking in all the sights nature had to offer which helped me ground myself and calm down a little. Then I would look at my friend A who was beginning to lose his goddamned mind. He stood up and went, “how am I even alive right now???” for some reason I found this hilarious and responded “I'm not sure but you've been doing it for 19 years so you're doing something right.” A got up and started pacing around and said he was full of energy and just wanted to run. S and I told him that it probably was not a good idea and to try and relax a little.
<br>
<br>
I look back at S and he hands me a cigarette and I begin to smoke it but constantly forget that I am smoking it and end up just throwing it out. I look back at A and he has since taken his shirt off and is clenching his throat saying “how am I breathing?” Then I would start thinking “oh shit, how am I breathing? How am I alive?” an overwhelming feeling that I am supposed to be doing something would take me over again and I would begin to freak out a little. A would run off for a second and then I would glance back over at S who was still cool as a cucumber and then I would calm down again. This process repeated probably 10 or more times and when I started to feel panicky I remembered how badly my nose hurt and I would grab it. The pain from my nose helped keep me grounded and calm down which might seem odd. A finally goes, “guys should I jump off this edge?” and we are like “no dude that is an awful idea” and decide that we should probably walk somewhere else.
<br>
<br>
We start walking to nowhere in particular when A says “I just want to shout” and then proceeds to shout the word “SHOUT!” over and over. S and I find this hilarious but try to get him to stop because we did not want people to come see us in this state. At this point we are pretty deep in the woods and we decide that we are all done coming up so why not smoke some weed. Now I don't know if any of you guys have smoked weed while on acid but it goes from mild visual distortions and bright colors to full on things start to melt. Everything I looked at seemed to have an aura coming off of it, almost like a flame. It was hard to focus on anything in particular because everything became wavy. After a few minutes A loses his mind. He stands up takes off his shirt and starts screaming “Thank you!” S and I were like “for what?” Then A starts shouting “Shout!” again and runs away.
<br>
<br>
S and I decide that we should probably figure out how to get out the woods. We tell A to follow us because we need to figure out where we are. We take about 5 steps and then A forgets what we are doing and does the whole SHOUT and THANK YOU routine again and again. Eventually we get far enough that we reach a wall. Just a wall in the middle of the woods and for some reason S and I find this to be the funniest thing ever and we fall into a laughing fit. The top of the wall had a platform/ledge. A noticed this and grabs my arm and starts pulling it towards the direction of the ledge. I say to him, “what are you doing?” and he just points to the ledge and says “up there.”
<br>
<br>
We are on our way again when we come across a sign. A is still forgetting where we are going every couple steps so we didn't make much progress. While A is off in his own fantasy land S and I try to decipher the map which was way more difficult than we had originally thought. We walk around a bend and sit down to smoke more weed. A is still on the other side of the bend but we can hear him talking to himself, he is no more than 40 feet away. We take a couple hits then we hear A sound super serious and explaining what he is doing. S and I look at each other realizing A has encountered other people and start walking away briskly to avoid being heard. A comes around the bend and we realize that he was still just talking to himself. We are both relieved and find it kinda hilarious.
<br>
<br>
S and I continue to try and get A to come with us so we can get out of the woods but he is still too far gone to comprehend what we are trying to do. We decide to leave him where he is because we are really close to the exit. S and I leave the woods and are sitting at a gazebo in a park that is right outside the exit so we can wait for A and relax a little bit. After about 10 minutes we see someone run out of the woods (not the trail exit mind you) and fall down a hill. They stand up and go “S! M! Is that you guys?” A had finally sobered up a little bit (or so we had thought) and found his way out of the woods. He runs up to us and sits in the gazebo. A little ways away there are two people sitting on a swing set swinging. A looks at his phone, then looks at us and says “does this even make noise?” S and I look at him with confusion and then A throws his phone which lands near the people swinging. S says “dude go get your phone, you're going to regret it later if you don't.” A walks up to get his phone then looks at the people on the swing set and says “Hey, did you guys say something?” They had not and it was then that S and I realized that A was still pretty far gone. I go “A come back they aren't talking to you.” The people swinging must of thought that we were all insane.
<br>
<br>
Headed back to my dorm we are walking up a hill and realize A doesn't have his car keys. We ask him where they are and he takes out his wallet and opens it and money starts falling out. S says “dude how are you going to get home?” to which A shrugs off as if unimportant. We finally get inside when A begins to come to and realizes that he left his keys in the woods. J joins us in my room because he is beginning to feel better too. They all go out to find A's keys and are trips are effectively over. However, A tells me what happened to him after S and I left the woods, and J tells me his trip after he went back to his dorm.
<br>
<br>
A's Story
<br>
While S and I were waiting for A to come out of the woods, he realizes that we are not in there with him any more. He began to wonder around and soon he finds himself in a cemetery. I cant even imagine what that must have been like for him in the state that he was in. A said that he felt he was in a primal state and all that mattered to him was survival. He went up to one of the graves and saw flowers on it, he picked them up and simply thought “eat” since that was something people must do to survive. He proceeded to eat the flowers right off the grave and then wondered around until he tripped and fell down a hill. This is when he found S and I.
<br>
<br>
J's Trip
<br>
The night prior to taking LSD, J had gotten very drunk and blacked out. While I was gone getting the second tabs for A and myself, J is having a wonderful time. He questions, “why can't I feel like this all the time?” to which A replies “because it is illegal.” Saying this triggered something in J and he began to feel as if he was in a coma because he drank too much alcohol the night before. He thought that we were figments of his imagination and that the police were trying to wake him up to bring him out of his coma. J went into our friends dorm and laid on the floor saying, “either nothing is real or I am dying right now.” After a couple of hours he realized that it was just the acid and was able to enjoy the rest of his trip.
<br>
<br>
That was the last time I have taken acid which was about a year ago. It really put me off wanting to do it again because of the shit show that it turned out to be. While I didn't necessarily have a bad trip, there were moments when it was almost too intense for me to handle. I plan on doing more again soon but it is not a drug I take lightly.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2015</td><td width="90">ExpID: 109574</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 19</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 16, 2018</td><td>Views: 865</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=109574&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=109574&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">65 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<span class="erowid-note">[Erowid Note:
Claims of measured microgram dosages for LSD are usually unsupported. Quantitative measurements for LSD are very difficult to do and cannot be done casually. Without further detailed information about how the measurements were derived, it is reasonable to assume that most statements of microgram dosages of LSD on blotter or in microdots are either misinformed or overstated.]</span>
<br>
<br>
T: 0 Consumed a blotter of 1500mcg
<br>
<br>
The Setup:
<br>
<br>
I’ve always been curious about acid, wondered what it would be like to hallucinate. Would I see the things with my own eyes, or would it be more like a mental imagination? Finally, it was the time to know! It was around 9 pm, I was with my best friend, K, and one of his friends (let’s call him O).
<br>
<br>
We were at the beach, in Goa. I got the paper, which I was promised is 1500mcg, and was warned only to eat only half of it, otherwise it will get me fucked up, but of course, I was going to eat the whole thing. I took the paper and started sucking on it. As time passed, we became curious as to what we happen and more importantly when. K thought we were tricked and it was just a plain paper with some colors on it.
<br>
<br>
About an hour of sitting there, I started to feel weird and told K something was kicking in. He seemed skeptical and thought I was only justifying to satisfy myself I wasn’t cheated.
<br>
<br>
The Onset:
<br>
<br>
I felt the sand on beach racing about, trying to come up from the surface. I looked up and saw stars started moving. At this point, K and O were still thinking I am trying to show off to cover up for the fact that I was scammed. I was just tarrying, and then, hands started to come out from the sand and started to grab me, trying to pull me down into the sand. I was skipping the sand and jumping here and there to avoid being grabbed. I looked up, stars all turned green and started shooting green beams of light down to the beach. I lied down and saw them moving fast and creating a wireframe of green lights while shooting green beams down. As I looked again towards the horizon, in the dark shade of sea, I saw mountains tops peaking at the very end. Then I saw a colossus Buddha lying sideways where there were mountains just a moment before. I asked K to take me back to the hotel as I knew it was gonna get out of hand real soon. Putting my hand on his shoulder, we left for the hotel, me still trying to avoid being caught by those hands which were coming out from sand.
<br>
<br>
Prelude:
<br>
<br>
Just as we got out of the sand on to the road, a slow soft music started to play, and everything started to feel in slow motion. Pedestrians started to disappear, and colorful lights began to cover my view. Our hotel was in a dark alley, near to the beach, about 5 min walking. When we got there I had totally lost all my motor skills and was completely relying on K to take me to the room safe. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I had totally lost all my motor skills and was completely relying on K to take me to the room safe.</div></div> Just before we were about to enter in the hotel, I had to close my eyes because the lights and colors I saw were so intense I felt I’ll go blind if I kept looking at them, it felt like staring into the sun, but with millions of colors instead of just yellow and my whole peripheral vision was covered. When we finally entered the room, it escalated further.
<br>
<br>
The Journey: Part 1
<br>
<br>
In the room I could open my eyes, the intensity of light plunged. There were faces coming out from the walls, all kinds of faces. Mostly animals with sharp teeth, wolf, dogs, demons, dragons, and whatnot. The floor tiles started to break and move apart. I lay on the bed and the music got intense, and then a cloud formed over my head, and it started dripping blood. K and O were sitting on the terrace, while I laid there on the bed. I felt highly dehydrated and was drinking whenever I felt conscious, which was about every 20-30 minutes. About 2-3 hours in (I don’t remember any concept of time, I am telling the time of events as per what K and O told me later), I was hungry, we haven’t had dinner. I went to the terrace and grabbed a piece of egg roll that K was eating, but just as I looked outside, I saw T-Rex coming from behind the tree, and I dropped the roll and went inside to save my life, as I was sure he was coming to eat me.
<br>
<br>
The Journey: Story 1
<br>
<br>
As I said, I don’t remember any concept of time at that stage. I am just telling the things in the order which they happened. After that T-Rex came to eat me, I ran inside and lay on the bed again. Then I saw there were people around me, doctors, in their white coats, performing some operations or something. My stomach was cut open and the only light I could see was one they put on the patient’s organs, they were discussing something. Then it all went blank, after a while I remember it was a dark night, and there were no lights. I was in a graveyard, dragging a large cross sign, ready to bury in the ground.
<br>
<br>
The Journey: Story 2
<br>
<br>
After the graveyard scene, all went blank. I gained my consciousness again, had some water. K was worried sick and he was searching on the internet what to do to calm acid peak and whatnot. He asked me if I was alright but I couldn’t put together any words. The music hadn’t faded but had the intensity had slowed down. I laid down again on the bed, and this time I was in a peculiar area. I don’t know how to really describe that, but in “Batman Arkham Asylum” there is a scene/gameplay with scarecrow where he is in space, with fragments of ruins from houses scattered around in the form of a circle and scarecrow is in the middle. Batman has to hide from his vision while reaching for the last point to kill the scarecrow. To get a clear picture of the scene, you can google, “Batman Arkham asylum scarecrow dream” and see any video that comes up! I WAS THERE! I WAS THE BAT FUCKING MAN!!! I saw the scarecrow and I had to save my fucking life. I don’t know how I saved my life though, after a long time of escaping his vision and jumping around, I again went blank.
<br>
<br>
The Journey: Story 3
<br>
<br>
I again gained consciousness for a while. O was asleep, K was just lying there. My motor skills were better, I went to pee and washed my face, but the shape morphing and everything else was still there. I called my GF, (took more than 10 minutes to dial her) and told her all this shit was happening. She went crazy worried, but K talked to her and calmed her down, assured her he’s going to take care of me. I laid on the bed again.
<br>
<br>
This time there was a huge staircase, in the middle of nowhere. Just a spiral staircase and some people on it at different levels. The camera zoomed in and it focused on an old guy, and guess what? The old guy was none other than me! Just as the focus was on his(my) face, there was also a waiter carrying coffee, and he bumped into me and spilled the coffee over me. The camera again was zoomed out to see the whole staircase and then started zooming in, this time focusing on the waiter, and the waiter is me!!! Now as I was descending down the stairs, a kid was bumped into me (the waiter me, focus of this scene) making me spill the coffee on the old man, (who again was me). Again zoomed out to get the whole staircase in the view, and started zooming in again. And this time, the focus was on the kid, and no surprise, the kid was me. I was playing with a bouncy ball and I was trying to catch it when I was running and bumped into the waiter that made him spill his coffee on the old me. Finally, again the view was all zoomed out to cover the whole staircase, and this time while it zoomed in, it focused on an infant in his mother’s arms who was feeding on her mother’s breast, and of course, the infant was no one but me!
<br>
<br>
Interlude:
<br>
<br>
After this part, I again gained consciousness, had some water, went to pee again, and peed a lot. As I was coming back from the restroom. I noticed our hotel room was flying in space, shattered into pieces with nothing but void all around it. I sat on the terrace and smoked a cigarette by myself. K and O were both asleep. I went to bed again and decided to lie down.
<br>
<br>
The Journey: Ego Death and Meeting the Source
<br>
<br>
It’s been more than a year, but my hands still shiver as I think about that moment and try to put it down in words. I’ll try my best to recreate that, but no matter how hard I try, I am sure I will not be able to exactly put feelings into words.
<br>
<br>
This time when I lay down, my eyes closed. I saw stickman figures, more like that gingerbread man figure in Shrek. It was all black except for them, and there were a lot of them, in green color. They were joining hands to form a circle while their legs spread outwards; like when a father swings his child by hands and his legs spread outward with the force. Their legs were in that position, and they are all coming from outward to join hands and become one. First, there was only one circle like this, then there were more, lots, everywhere. The music that was playing is inexplicable, it felt like my brain was about to orgasm. Then the circle came down to me, zooming in at infinite speed, and took my hands to join them too. But just as I held their hands, and circle started to move back up again, taking me up with them, moving in spiral inward motion, concentrating to a single point, but I lost hands! It felt thwarting. But they came back down again, taking me again by my hands, and at this point, like them, I was a gingerbread man too. They came down and took me again, and we all, in this circle and all others in their respective circles, started to move spirally inward trying to collapse into a single point, but again I lost hands. It was as if you are in a video game, and you are in the final boss fight, and you just keep losing and losing and losing, but you know, you are about to win, this is about to end. I felt just like that, and I knew I was on the verge of something big, I could feel it, the anticipation was running extremely. And then, the cycle repeated again, they all came down again, I joined hands, and we started moving inward in a spiral direction, but this time, I didn’t let go! AND HOLYYYY FUCKINGGGG SHITTTTTT!!!!!!
<br>
<br>
Just when I merged with them and we concentrated into a single infinitesimal point of oneness, my brain filled with what I can easily say as a thousand orgasms. And then! It all went blank, nothingness, void, death, life, abyss, everything and nothing all together. The whole concept of humanity, life, death, love, hate faded into nothingness. And that one infinitesimal point was the source, that empowered the whole creation and existence of not only the humanity but the whole universe in itself. After that, I don’t remember a thing, I don’t know how long was I out, I have no memory of know how I came back. As per K and O, I passed out and they were worried sick if I was dead or not (my heart was beating, but I was totally unconscious) and I regained my consciousness (according to them) after about an hour. (It was 6 in the morning).
<br>
<br>
The Journey: Final chapter
<br>
<br>
After coming from ego death, I wasn’t talking to anybody. Just observing things around me. Each and everything seemed so beautiful that I cannot find words to define that. About 7 am in the morning, I was standing on the terrace, and the sun was just rising up. To this day, I have never witnessed a more beautiful sunrise in my entire life. I could feel the air blowing through my hairs. I could see the grass, I appreciated the tiny little insects that were there in the room. When I saw the sun, I felt life, the meaning, love, and sense of oneness. I could feel every single ray of sun, hitting me, and hitting millions of things and people on this earth birthing life as we know it. Just as I was witnessing this miracle of life, I decided to smoke another joint. When I was done with that, the hallucination started again, and I had the urge to lie down on the bed again. My eyes closed, this time, I saw waves, like those in mathematics, sine and cosine waves, and those waves were inside a huge auditorium, and were slowly ascending. I saw people sitting there by the sides of walls, smoking, talking, laughing, and I thought to myself, holy shit! Do people actually live there? What is this place? Who are these people? And then the waves continued, leading me to the room in the end, and then the doors of the room opened, and again my mind went blank. I don’t remember what, or whom I saw in that room. I just remember waking up after an hour or so. After my death, born again, with a new spirit like that of a newborn baby.
<br>
<br>
The Journey: Conclusion and aftermath
<br>
<br>
Even though I have tried to put in every single detail of my trip, or at least as much as I can remember, I know I can never put in words the feel that I had in the trip. There’s a saying that “curiosity killed the cat”, but the full version is “curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back”. That’s what happened to me. I was just doing it for fun and just to see what it feels like to see visuals, but it ended up changing my life more than anything ever did, or anything could ever do. I was already an atheist, but now I realize the universe, the atoms, the spirit molecule (DMT, which I still have to try) are all one. And our purpose is only restrained by our own self-absorbed human dogma, while the universe, life and the existence itself is a much bigger reality itself.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2016</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111370</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 25</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 17, 2018</td><td>Views: 913</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111370&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111370&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Mystical Experiences (9), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Back in October, of 03 me and a friend wanted to try out this acid I got from my dude that looked pretty good. We only had one blotter,. So we split it in half and dropped them around 12:15a.m.. Now that I think about it and remember what the trip was like, I dont think it was such a smart idea to take it so late. Due to the surroundings and that it was dark out. The first hour after I felt it, every thing was amazing. I was laughing non-stop for no particular reason.
<br>
<br>
To this day I wish I could go back to that night and stop may mind form thinking about things that should have never been on my mind when taking acid (note, that this was my first acid experience). When tripping I thought about how I had to work the next day and I needed to get some sleep. Beginning my first time I didn't know about this. When trying to sleep, I was tossing and turning, and my mind wouldn't stop thinking. I began to get on the subject of work and thought,' o no' what if I never fall asleep and I'm like this at work. This thought began to led into other thoughts like if I'm going to be high at work then I'm probably going to be like this forever. This was the point were my thoughts got way to intense, and the trip became bad. I was confused and didn't know what I wanted to do, all I was thinking about was ' is this ever goin to end.' My other friend who I had taken the acid with didn't really feel it to strong because he had done acid before, so he was trying to clam me down and tell me that it was just a drug and it will end eventually. In my head I thought he was lying to me and I still believed I was goin to be on a permanent acid trip to hell.
<br>
<br>
Like I said earlier it looked like some good acid, and it definitely was. The trip had lasted from about 12:45a.m.-8:00a.m.. This is the usually length of acid trips, but keep in mind that I only took 1/2 a blotter.
<br>
<br>
The next day after the experience I was finally done tripping, but coming down felt very weird. My body felt heavy and my thoughts were blurry.
<br>
<br>
The main reason I wrote this, was to let everyone no what had happened to me the next 5 months, after my experience. Also keep in mind that my girlfriend at the time I had been dating for over a year and she was extremely against real drugs. So when I took the acid I was hiding it from her. The thought of going behind her back , and feeling guilty about what I had done, may have triggered what happened to me, but I will never no what truly caused it. I began to feel very distant from others and had that nervous felling in my stomach almost all the time. I also began to feel like nothing mattered, and strongly depressed. But these weren't even close to the worst parts of it. I began to feel like I had no emotions, when ever something funny, or good would happen I felt like I didn't notice it, or like I didn't matter. I also became nervous when talking to people I had known all my life, and when I would look at people I didn't like keeping any sort of eye contact. Many of my friends at school noticed something different about me, and that I didn't even seem like the same person. I lost many friends because of the way it made me act. My mind felt the same way. It felt like I wasn't me any more, which made me want to die.
<br>
<br>
Like I said these feelings lasted for 5 months, and I remember crying many times wishing and praying that it would all end, and I could have my normal life back.
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<br>
I'm glad to say that these feelings have left me and I back to my normal state. I think the reason I stopped felling like this was because I broke up with my gf, and I no longer felt guilty.
<br>
<br>
Thanx to anyone how spend their time reading this, I hope it has helped any one that has had this happen to them before to no that there not the only one, like I thought I was. I hope no one ever has to go threw what I did, because I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
<br>
<br>
Ganggus<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 32645</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 18, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,047</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=32645&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=32645&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : First Times (2), Bad Trips (6), Depression (15), Hangover / Days After (46), Relationships (44), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/banisteriopsis/">Banisteriopsis caapi</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(tea)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/banisteriopsis/">Banisteriopsis caapi</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(capsule)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">250 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mimosa/">Mimosa tenuiflora</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(extract)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:15</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">9.5 st</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This was to be my first DMT experience. An attempt had previously been made at producing ayahuasca, but had caused only nausea and threshold effects. In this instance the DMT was chemically extracted from M.hostilis and was of approximately 95 % purity. My friend S was introducing this to me, having taken this same extraction before and undertaken several ayahuasca ceremonies in Peru.
<br>
<br>
In terms of experience I have taken a huge number of psychedelics in the past, including many experiences with high doses of LSD, mescaline (San Pedro), mushrooms (cubensis, hawaiian), 2C-E, 2C-I...., and consider myself extremely aware of the conditions required for a good experience on a psychedelic. This trip took place at my friend S's house, a beautiful country house surrounded by fields. I have tripped here many times and am extremely comfortable in the setting.
<br>
<br>
We prepared a tea from some B.caapi in a ritualistic way, as might be done when preparing true ayahuasca. In addition we took several gel caps containing ground B.caapi. 45 minutes later we took gel caps containing the DMT extract, and watched some comedy on DVD. After 35 mins (one episode) I felt some stomach awareness.
<br>
<br>
Nausea continued to build, coming in waves, sometimes I would feel as though purging were imminent, sometimes I was up and dancing. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">sometimes I would feel as though purging were imminent, sometimes I was up and dancing.</div></div> After 1 hour 5 mins I purged, while in the middle of describing how after 1 hr 20 mins I would force myself to purge. My friend S had eaten some shrooms ten minutes before and purged 10 minutes later. I had not taken any shrooms at this point.
<br>
<br>
After purging the nausea quickly passed and I was rapidly coming up, with vivid colours and enhancement of music. At this point S and me each took one sugar cube of LSD (100 ug). Half an hour later I took my shrooms, and threw up as soon as they touched my stomach.
<br>
<br>
The experience was very different from other psychedelics, I felt extremely sober, even as my senses showed me that I was anything but. There was constant euphoria, and as the acid came up there was additionally an abundance of energy, and much psy-trance listened to.
<br>
<br>
At about t +2 hours me and S began to smoke numerous joints of blueberry weed, and having rolled 5, set of for a walk across the fields, taking a route that we have walked before. This walk was an amazing experience, and I was able to see the energy fields surrounding all of the plants, visible as a black nothingness (which is unusual, on mushrooms I have occasionally seen it as a white shimmer). Upon reaching the top of a hill we stopped to look at the moon, which was a few days away from full. During this period I experienced a hallucination of a vine crawling up my left leg. Attempting to brush this away I experienced what can only be described as a tactile hallucination as I felt these strange beads on the top of my thigh, which brushed off all at once and vanished. The touch made my hand tingle for a second or two.
<br>
<br>
Towards the end of this walk, which lasted about 1 hr I saw blood on my arm in the dark. Worried that I had cut myself I tasted it, and it tasted like blood. Examination using the flame of a lighter revealed that there was no blood. In the dark again the blood coalesced into a tattoo pattern on my arms, which was extremely clear and seemed very important. Around now I became aware of spirits flowing around me and S, and sometimes into or out of us. I believed for a while that I could cause nearby animals to feel threatened and to move to escape, merely by using my mind and simple hand gestures (that the animals could not see).
<br>
<br>
Upon returning inside and listening to music, I reached the conclusion that God must exist. Although I have once experienced a belief in God on a (relatively mild) LSD trip, this was much more convincing. As far as I can tell this belief was caused by the feeling that I was being embraced by a female entity that would protect me from all harm, and ensure I was always happy. It may also have been triggered by Shpongle, and the buddha statue I was looking at (but the God was not Buddha). Throughout the entire experience there was a feeling of being held and protected by a female presence, and despite the strength of the experience it felt very natural and easy, more so than I find typical shroom or acid trips.
<br>
<br>
The lasting impression is that I got a view of a spirit world not normally visible to me. As a pragmatic scientist I have often told myself that the molecule is only unlocking my imagination -ie I am imagining spirits around me. Although this is still my belief, DMT (with LSD) was far more realistic, the hallucinations felt less like they came from inside, and more as though I was seeing the truth about the outside world.
<br>
<br>
This represents my favourite drug experience, and I intend to repeat it next weekend, without LSD, but with shrooms taken at the same time as DMT.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2007</td><td width="90">ExpID: 65414</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 20, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,575</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=65414&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=65414&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Mimosa tenuiflora (74), Banisteriopsis caapi (169), Huasca Combo (269) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">600 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dxm/">DXM</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:05</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">300 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:32</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">15 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/2ce/">2C-E</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/salvia/">Salvia divinorum</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">120 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
The first trial of the experiment.
<br>
<br>
Purpose: To reach another plane of reality. (Vague yes, but you'll see the point in a minute)
<br>
<br>
Secondary purpose(s): To bring something back from said 'plane' - To alter a fundamental part of the world outside the tripping body for a finite period of time (e.g. Terrence McKenna's experiment in 'The invisible landscape' or altering the perception of time outside the tripping body) - Lasting alterations to the physical body that was tripping (e.g. gaining 'psychic intuition' or other 'superpowers'/ correcting physical ailments like clinical depression)
<br>
<br>
Problems with experiment: For the first instance of it ( The only one that has been done so far) I was alone. There was no way to confirm alterations to reality outside of my tripping 'version' of reality. The mix of chemicals that were used is deemed 'dirty' and rightly so, the methods of action of said chemicals is not exactly what was needed and altered the experiment. (I believe that I failed to do the experiment entirely but it set up a life changing experience.)
<br>
<br>
So what's the point in all of this? All of these 'pseudo-scientific' mumbo jumbo?
<br>
This is the part where you dear readers will start to think I'm crazy and bail this little trip report. Alright, I'm not going to convince you I'm not crazy but at least here me out on this odd-ness.
<br>
<br>
In the 'Invisible landscape' by Mr. McKenna (where this idea came from in the first place) there is the idea of a shaman bringing an 'obsidian liquid' into being with the use of ayahuasca. This liquid would have properties that would allow said shaman to manipulate space and time as well as cure illnesses and compose prophesies. McKenna not only brings the liquid forth in the book but also appears to be able to with the aid of a mushroom 'not eaten of course although those were involved' actually alter the flow of time, slowing it down.
<br>
<br>
In his book 'Doors of perception' Aldus Huxley talks about how many of the senses as we grow up (from being babies) have build something like a drug tolerance and psychedelics help us 'open the doors' and see reality as it truly is.
<br>
<br>
Dr. John Lilly theorized that we create are own reality.
<br>
<br>
If we create our own reality and we have the power to influence it then our actual ability must be seriously hindered by our own senses. By dashing the ego to pieces and playing 'tourist' in these alternate realities we may come across information 'programming' that we can integrate into ourselves. By integrating this information into ourselves it will by extension alter our 'non-tripping' reality.
<br>
<br>
So basically in layman's terms:
<br>
1. Gain information
<br>
2. Bring it back
<br>
3. integrate it
<br>
4. ????
<br>
5. Profit
<br>
<br>
The actual trip:
<br>
<br>
Drugs ingested: Lysergic-acid-diethylamide [three tabs- approx. 300mcg] - Dextromethorphan [600mg in the form of cough gels] - 2c-e [15 mg] - salvia 30x [two hits] - Low grade cannabis sativa [one hit]
<br>
<br>
Non drug trip add-ons: a live mushroom in a small pot of soil - an open flame [WARNING OPEN FLAMES ARE DANGEROUS] - Crystals placed on the seven base chakras as well as an information holding base crystal - silver goblet connected to an electrical current - a lossless recording of 432hz (for kicks and giggles) - Ott, Shpongle, Dark Side of The Moon, globular, Tycho, and Shulman music.
<br>
<br>
T+0.00 -Swallowed cough gels popped into orange juice- Ugh these are gross! This red food coloring is going to turn my butt into a faucet for sure. Bleh.
<br>
<br>
T+0.05 - Took three tabs with water. No bitterness detected, believe to be actual LSD.
<br>
<br>
T+0.20 - Not really feeling anything- stomach sounds like a washing machine on high though, not sure what to do about that.
<br>
<br>
T+ 0.32 - Take a hit of green mids to calm the ol' stomach - seems to work
<br>
<br>
T+ 0.40 - Going to watch 'Enter the Void' until I have come up sufficiently.
<br>
<br>
T+ 1:00 - First serotonin yawn of the trip - feels similar to the effects of anti-depressant serotonin yawn.
<br>
<br>
T+ 1.35 - Bathroom time. Feeling a bit of a 'robo-walk' - small OEVs in the corners of eyes. Difficulty in urinating noticed.
<br>
<br>
T+ 1.44 - Definitely am coming up now - small fractal CEVs noticed upon closing eyes. It's time to set up the 'test bed' before I get too inebriated. Crystals corresponding to each chakra are placed under small comforter that I will lay on. Candle lit and laid on bedside table. Mushroom in pot placed beside bed. Lossless loop of 432hz played through speaker. Earbuds placed in ears and music started. Silver goblet attached to electrical circuit placed on bedside table. Small 'grounding crystal placed next to goblet. Pipe containing salvia placed on bedside table.
<br>
<br>
T+ 1.45 - Insufflated pre-measured amount of 2c-e. Merciful mother of god this stuff burns and the drip tastes like burning baby dolls.
<br>
<br>
This is where time disappears and the magic happens, but while I have your attention ( I hope) I would like to tell you exactly why I picked each substance and which they substituted for.
<br>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<br>
The idea was to use a chemical in each family (tryptamine, phenelethamine, whatever the heck salvia is- a kind of opiate antagonist I think- and dissociative)
<br>
<br>
The LSD was substituted for shrooms- My favorite ticket to hyperspace.
<br>
<br>
2c-e was used for a reason as it covers the serotonin receptors LSD/shrooms doesn't hit.
<br>
<br>
DXM was a poor substitute for ketamine. I do not have anything against DXM but it is a mild SSRI and because of that I couldn't mix the LSD with a MAOI to strengthen it. SSRI+ MAOI= serotonin syndrome. <!--That kills you, don't do it.-->
<br>
<br>
Salvia was chosen because, well, it's salvia. No other psychedelic works on the same receptors and it seems to affect completely different part of the brain.
<br>
<br>
A dissociative to provide the canvas. Psychedelics to provide the paint. Salvia to provide a rocket ship to send it into the unknown.
<br>
<br>
-------- BACK TO THE TRIP--------------------
<br>
<br>
The warm tones of dub drift through my ear buds as I lie down on my bed. The light is off and I am in complete darkness. Thankfully the nasal drip has stopped and I can swallow without grimacing.
<br>
<br>
I take a quick breath and calm the few threads of thought that run rampant through my head. All these drugs are very overwhelming. Actually, overwhelming is an understatement. I feel like I'm being pulled apart very slowly, loosing my sanity.
<br>
<br>
I calm my thoughts and get my self in the zone. You're here on a mission. Accomplish it. A ball drops in my stomach as I start the first of many ego losses. The ball asks a question.
<br>
<br>
Are you ready to die for your experience?
<br>
<br>
The music guides my mind which has lost all meaning of self. I am no longer a student eating ramen all day trying to scrape by in my little chunk of the world.
<br>
<br>
I am an immortal orb. Kind of white. Or purple. Maybe I'm orange... I would definitely be blue, well, if blue existed. Or something like that.
<br>
<br>
I float along a neon savanna. A flat plane. Electric grass rubs against my legs as I run. I have a body now.
<br>
I run. I run. I run. It is survival. Running is integrated into my genes. The violet sun rises above my head as the heat of the day sets in. I must make it to the water hole it is the only way to survive... the only way.
<br>
<br>
I rub my eyes. I'm in my bed again. My ego is back, I remember who I am for a brief second. I need to get out of my head I'm on a mission. I must get to hyperspace. Judging from the time that's passed it's been about an hour and the peak should be arriving in thirty minutes.
<br>
<br>
REMEMBER IN 30 MINUTES- THE SALVIA
<br>
<br>
My alarm clock has been set- back into the void.
<br>
<br>
Closing my eyes I take a breath and resubmerge myself in psychedelia.
<br>
<br>
I feel sand on my feet this time. I remember who I am. The neon sun is setting now in the horizon. The sea stretches before me its lilac waves beckoning me towards it. I walk forward slowly. Ankle deep, and already a warm wave of euphoria hits me like a brick wall. The water is warm. I look up again as the last rays of the sun disappear below the horizon.
<br>
<br>
I cannot tell the difference between the sky and the stars now. I keep walking. Chest deep now. The stars ripple across the sky. I keep walking.
<br>
<br>
My head is submerged. Mindless euphoria wracks my body. The stars are around me everywhere now. And... oh... the stars... they're singing! They started out low, and then they started to grow. Calling to one another across incredible distances the stars chant warming plainsong. Or native American chanting. No Celtic folksong no...
<br>
<br>
Suddenly there is nothing. A void. Everywhere. A vacuum covered the heavens and they were blocked from my sight. Incomprehensible in size.
<br>
<br>
And then a point. A small golden dot. Like the period at the end of a sentence. A drop of something, vibrates into being. I float over to it.
<br>
<br>
It appears to be a tiny clockwork insect the size of a pinhead.
<br>
<br>
It scuttles away, jumping from my palm onto the ground, which appeared out of nowhere. The ground it solid and marble. I give chase to the strange creature but quick as it came the insect disappears. I cannot keep up with it. Where the insect led me though is quite interesting.
<br>
<br>
Imagine Salvador Dali was given the Parthenon and told to re-create the New York public library with it. That is approximately what this strange setting appeared to be. A library of some sort. But instead of books there were information filled 'constructs' everywhere. Totem poles, Egyptian obelisks, and Grecian pillars lined the walls and made shelves.
<br>
<br>
For a thousand years I stayed there. Each construct had a story. A universe.
<br>
Each construct was the DNA of a different reality. They were pure ideas and scientific laws. Myths and legends. The force of gravity was a song. Supernovas were a fantastic book. Bacon was a Faberge egg. Nihilism was a statue. For thousand years I stayed in that library. The library in the middle of nowhere. Literally nowhere.
<br>
<br>
THE SALVIA- the glowing tablet said
<br>
<br>
Slowly a thought condensed into reality and then solidified in front of me.
<br>
<br>
'You should probably smoke the salvia mate. You've made the lady wait for a thousand years.'
<br>
<br>
Oh dear.
<br>
<br>
Everything came back. I am human. I am in my bed. You sleep in a bed. You have a mission. I have a mission.
<br>
<br>
Once I figured out how to move my arms again I sat up. Whew I felt a little more sober.
<br>
<br>
Time to fix that.
<br>
<br>
I have no idea how I did this but somehow I managed to stand up and make my way outside with the pipe.
<br>
<br>
Pre packed pipe in hand I fumbled with my lighter trying to find the flint. It kept melting. While I was messing with the lighter I noticed a tree elf stretch itself towards me. A feminine creature stood before me. It's leaves hair and it's branches limbs. It was beautiful.
<br>
<br>
With a voice like the wind she spoke, 'Hmmm you having a hard time there? I know this is difficult but pull through this. You have a lot to learn tonight. Here take this'
<br>
<br>
She handed me an orb of white. It proceeded to absorb straight into my skull.
<br>
'Thanks I guess,' I muttered. It felt like I had mud in my mouth.
<br>
<br>
As soon as I spoke the flame lit. Quickly I hit the salvia. One, two, three, times.
<br>
<br>
I flatten once. I flatten again.
<br>
I am a line.
<br>
I am folded again.
<br>
I am a dot.
<br>
I have infinite mass.
<br>
I am a hole.
<br>
I am the singularity.
<br>
I am everything
<br>
<br>
'That's better how do you like that?'
<br>
I am strapped to a table. A surgeon has cut out my heart he holds it in his hand. It's still beating. I look down. A brilliant emerald sits in its place.
<br>
<br>
'Now that we have your core running right you can do your.... thing. Not a lot of people get out this far you know. At least not any more. It used to be standard practice to give these out to worldsmiths like you every hundred years. Although from what I see here you're going to bring a lot more!'
<br>
<br>
The surgeon smiled. 'Remember to put me in your, ah, memoirs. I think that's what the translation is....' he trailed off. His eyes some other place.
<br>
<br>
The operating table sank slowly into the floor with me on it. The 50's style checkered tile was cold to the touch. As it reached my neck I blacked out.
<br>
<br>
'Do you think he'll wake up?'
<br>
<br>
'Maybe... try shaking him'
<br>
<br>
I felt a sharp kick to the ribs and opened my eyes.
<br>
<br>
The back alley of 'City Luna stared back' a small middle eastern boy pulled me to my feet. His teeth glowed under the moonlight contrasting sharply with his dark skin.
<br>
<br>
'Come,' he said giggling, 'we go to see the sultan!'
<br>
<br>
He giggled again and ran off.
<br>
I raced after him. The streets were empty, although the city appeared to be inhabited. There were lights in every window. A great mosque rose before me as I caught up with the kid.
<br>
<br>
'Inside!' he said rushing up the spiral staircase - the only thing on the bottom floor of the palace.
<br>
<br>
I raced after him. When I got to the roof he was no where to be found.
<br>
A slightly chubby Ganesh sat on a mound of pillows with an opium pipe. A telescope was next to him. Ganesh took a long drag from his pipe and above the mosque a supernova grew into existence and grew across the sky leaving swirling galaxies of unimaginable shapes.
<br>
<br>
He opened one eye, 'Hah, you finally came I was wondering when you were coming...' Sighing resignedly he stared back into the telescope 'But you're still not ready...'
<br>
He threw one of his pillows beside me and motioned for me to sit down. Handing his pipe to me he said one of the most profound and un-god-like things that I have ever heard in my life.
<br>
<br>
Squeaking out his words in a cosmic giggle- like a friend who knows an inside joke that they are dying to tell you- he said 'Smoke this'
<br>
<br>
Inhale. Exhale. Blackout.
<br>
<br>
A white picket fence surrounded the yard of perfectly green grass. I was floating on my back in the pool. The sun was perfectly warm. A woman straight out of the fifties wearing sunglasses sat by the pool sunbathing. I paddled over to her. Everything was strangely familiar.
<br>
<br>
'Where am I?' I mumbled feeling euphoric, sedated and confused.
<br>
<br>
She chewed her gum more intensely for a moment and then took her sunglasses off. Her eyes were rainbows.
<br>
'Hmm maybe he was right. I don't think you're ready hun. Come back another time.'
<br>
<br>
<br>
Another black out.
<br>
I was running.
<br>
It wasn't survival.
<br>
It was my mission.
<br>
<br>
I took a breather for a second and looked around, the neon sun rose behind me illuminating the savanna's orange grass. I repositioned my construct spinner on my arm, a gift from the 50's lady.The little golden insect whistled appreciatively. I was almost to the end of my mission. I had to get to the watering whole.
<br>
<br>
So I ran.
<br>
And ran.
<br>
And. Ran.
<br>
<br>
When I reached the water it was evening again.
<br>
I dipped a hand into the pool and drank deeply. When I had my fill I fell into a deep slumber and dreamed of life.
<br>
<br>
Life.
<br>
<br>
I woke up n my bed the next morning. Sitting up I felt electricity run down my arm and discharge. Static shot out of my hand.
<br>
<br>
I was sober. Well as sober as I was ever going to be.
<br>
<br>
'I do believe I've botched my experiment,' I murmur to myself. An echoing whisper of a construct spinner's whistle is heard far off in the distance.
<br>
<br>
If it was even heard at all.
<br>
<br>
I smirk. Maybe I botched my experiment. But I came away with so much more. Maybe I didn't botch my experiment. Maybe.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2014</td><td width="90">ExpID: 103584</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 21</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 23, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,736</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=103584&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=103584&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), 2C-E (137), Salvia divinorum (44), DXM (22) : Combinations (3), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
For a while, my friends and I have been looking for acid. I finally got One hit of acid on a blotter tab. It was only one hit so I could not do it with my friend. I didn't know when I was going to take it, but on a school night on November 15, 2010, I decided to take it. I was going to be in my room, tripping alone, with my parents directly upstairs above me sleeping. I was warned that this could affect my trip in a negative way. Surprisingly, it didn't.
<br>
<br>
I took the hit at exactly 9:00PM. At 9:30, I was feeling a slight body sensation but I thought I was just a placebo effect. I thought the acid was never going to kick in so I just layed in bed watching TV.
<br>
<br>
At exactly 10:00PM, I got up to see if I was feeling anything. I felt a VERY pleasant body sensation. I felt relaxed but also kind of heavy. Not long after, my trip really starting kicking in. I'm not sure what came first, but I remember I started to feel my mind get empty and clear, and my vision started changing, only slightly. I started to forget things, for example, I was texting my friend about my trip and when I had a perfect description of it, I forgot it within the first words of my text. I felt like I was in a different reality. I knew I was in my room, but it just seemed different.
<br>
<br>
A movie came on later. As I was watching the movie, I felt like I could feel the emotions that the people in the movie were feeling. The movie also made me feel a little euphoria.
<br>
<br>
After the movie, I decided to listen to some music. The music effected me in a VERY good way. The music sounded so beautiful, It made my body feel very pleasant. It also made my mind feel pleasant. I probably listened to music for half an hour to an hour.
<br>
<br>
After a while I decided to explore my room. There was a checkerboard carpet on my floor. I got down and looked at it. The carpet had so much detail into it. I could see all the interlacing threads, if I starred at it the patterns just kept going and going. As I felt the carpet with my hands, it felt like my hands were melting into the carpet. I then looked at my blinds that had a weird pattern on them. The patterns seemed to glow in a way and it looked pretty cool. After starring at my blinds for a while, they started to move. They were kind of opening and closing by themselves then growing thicker and thinner in a strange way. I took a look at my dog laying in my bed. The blanket started to sort of morph around her like she was something special. That's when I realized something. I realized that my dog is very beautiful and a great part of nature. I started to think about humans, and how we are definitely not part of nature, that we are actually made by something different.. Humans are very evil things- I thought. I also thought that there has to be someone or something 'watching' us in a way, Not as a higher power, But in a different reality or dimension.
<br>
<br>
After that time of thinking and exploring, the rest of my trip was just listening to music and being on the computer. Around 5AM, I hear my mom get up, but I wasn't scared. At 6AM she left, then I got up and got ready for school. I hadn't slept at all. As I stepped outside, I felt SUPER refreshed. It felt like taking my first breath. The air seemed so clear, the world seemed so beautiful. And I was ready to become a new person. I was happy that I was going to see my friends today.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2010</td><td width="90">ExpID: 89051</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 16</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 25, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,275</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=89051&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=89051&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Alone (16), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">172 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I am fairly new to LSD, and only a few days ago was my first time doing two tabs of the stuff. I can really only describe this experience as a high five with God himself. After buying 4 tabs for 20 bucks a pop, I figured this stuff had to be good. My friend had told me about how different two tab trips were from the single tab trips I was more familiar with. I was weary of this, but still confident because I had enjoyed the LSD experience so much before.
<br>
<br>
Now, I’d had 5 acid trips prior to this one on single tabs of acid, and each time was really quite amazing for me. But this trip was something different from the moment my girlfriend and I put the tabs on our tongues. We had tripped together twice before, but we both considered this to be a whole new experience afterwards.
<br>
<br>
S started getting giggly during the onset, sooner than she had the past couple of trips. We had put the tabs on our tongues in my truck and were walking through a local supermarket for some weird reason; I think it was just to look at all the packages of food. We saw an old high school buddy there; he thought we were had smoked cannabis at first because we were laughing so much while he was talking to us.
<br>
<br>
I remember starting back to the parking lot and towards the truck when things got to that point where everything seems a little displaced.
<br>
<br>
We sat in the bed I’ve made out of the back of the vehicle, listening to music and joking around. We climbed in the back to lie down, and then the shit really hit us.
<br>
<br>
We were looking at the sky spewing nonsense out of our mouths at first, like the bantering conversations always held when we smoked cannabis. Then things got crazy.
<br>
<br>
We were experiencing ego death.
<br>
<br>
Most people will go their whole lives without forgetting everything about themselves. I am no longer one of those people. Every memory I had disappeared into thin air. I knew nothing about myself <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Every memory I had disappeared into thin air. I knew nothing about myself</div></div>, and nothing about this familiar looking person in the truck with me. S and I were very scared at several points during the peak, and I remember a few particular parts that probably confused the people that were around us.
<br>
<br>
While our minds were amongst the gods, our bodies were still doing their usual thing, so eventually we both had to go pee. It seems like an easy thing to do: walk into the gas station, relieve ourselves, and then leave. At no point should we say a word or stop to look around.
<br>
<br>
This proved to be the most difficult part of the trip, because apparently it is not very easy to put on and tie a pair of shoes when you are on two tabs of high quality blotter acid. We were jabbering away and jumping around like lunatics in the parking lot while trying to get the shoes on. S’s emotions were changing at a very rapid pace, from sweet to scared to angry to yelling to cute to sad, and this made it quite difficult. We got the shoes on eventually.
<br>
<br>
We entered the gas station. We walked to the bathrooms in back, and things got scary. S started screaming, “You paid for this! You son of a bitch! You bought a trainwreck and you’re going to get a fucking trainwreck!” I just wanted to use the bathroom so I went inside the men’s room and shut the door. She stood outside yelling at me through it.
<br>
<br>
I had finally got S into the ladies room after a minute or so of convincing. Even when she was inside, she kept yelling things at me through the door. The store employees probably thought we were drunk from how we were acting and shouting, so the next part was no surprise. I was getting lost in a particular geometric pattern on a coke bottle when the cashier came around the corner to tell us that we had to leave or they were going to call the police. We promptly left. As I walked out the door, I said, “Sorry for inconveniencing you, have a good night.” S just screamed at the top of her lungs.
<br>
<br>
The rest of the peak is hard to remember. We slowly picked up the pieces of our shattered egos, and started to remember ourselves again. It was as though we weren’t even together during the peak. I do recall a closed eye visual of a sort of alchemical chart arranged in such a way that explained how life on earth worked. It was some very advanced stuff, tying the setting and rising of our sun in to the beating of the mammalian heart and the slow-furnace nature of the body. I just wish I remembered what the answer to what life was a little more clearly.
<br>
<br>
Eventually, the acid started to ease its grip on our minds. But it was just turned down from 220 amps to 110. We started getting more visuals after about 6 hours of nonstop tweaking out. S and I walked over to the local donut shop to use the restroom again and get something to eat. I bought a small black coffee and a coffee roll. This was a bad idea.
<br>
<br>
There was a group of kids over in the corner, the kids who have seen A Clockwork Orange a few times and try to act crazy, and one of them was saying some very strange things that almost made me violently ill. He was talking to the other kids, and he said something about opening up the heads of sleeping animals and messing with their brains to see if they would act differently when they woke up. Then he laughed and said he was just kidding.
<br>
<br>
Nobody on 700 micrograms of LSD should ever have to think of something like that. Ever. I know this because I did, and luckily S came out of the bathroom at this point so we left. I remember staring at that little creep for quite a while on the way out, and this drew uncomfortable glances from himself and his colleagues.
<br>
<br>
We walked back to the truck. Condensation had gathered on the windows and the streetlights shining through made for some interesting visuals. We reminded ourselves of all the things that make us up; nicknames, interests, thoughts, experiences. A strange thing to have to do, but not necessarily bad. It can’t hurt to know yourself a little better. We also started to recall some of the earlier moments, and I came to the conclusion that this was an 8th circuit experience. We transcended the need for a physical body, and because consciousness as a collective. In essence, we forgot so much that we remembered everything.
<br>
<br>
Neither S nor I will never forget that trip. We finally fell asleep at some crazy hour in my truck. I dropped S off the next morning and we both slept all day. We both regard it as a life changing experience and as I said earlier, most people will never do something like that.
<br>
<br>
It was not a negative thing at all. Powerful, yes. At times, almost terrifying because of the sheer energy and insanity flowing through us. But negative? No. A more accurate description would be “unforgettable.”
<br>
<br>
A high five with God is not something that is easily forgotten.
<br>
<br>
-the fear<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2008</td><td width="90">ExpID: 74293</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 29, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,247</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=74293&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=74293&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Mystical Experiences (9), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">65 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I’ve had experience with opiates before (endone, oxycodone), as well as social marijuana useage, alcohol and tobacco. All my life I had wanted to try LSD, the mysterious drug of hallucinations and wonder, and I finally found some. The guy I was purchasing it off is renowned for having the best of drugs, and he told me this was a new, higher-dosed acid he ordered in for me.
<br>
<br>
After school (3:30PM), I changed my clothes and drove with a friend to a dealer’s house. Let’s call him V, and my friend C. When we entered I saw several lounges and chairs around a TV with some crappy show on, and about ten people passing around a bong and just generally laughing. I had two bong hits whilst waiting for my acid to arrive.
<br>
<br>
When the guy arrived, he sold me the little paper tab that would become my misery for the night. I put it on my tongue and swirled it around a little, keeping my chewing gum on the side of my teeth. (4:30PM) The people knew I was taking it and C was eagerly awaiting me to start tripping, himself wanting to try it after I told him what it was like.
<br>
<br>
About ten or twenty minutes later, my heart started beating immensely. I thought it was just nerves at the time. Everyone then noticed my eyes were massively dilated – they took a photo to show me, and I stared into the black dinner plates with surprise and laughed. I then swallowed the piece of paper.
<br>
<br>
Another ten minutes later I started shaking, and my mouth turned extremely dry. I felt very odd, and decided to walk outside and get a drink and lay on the grass (backyard). I got a drink from the tap and then proceeded to lay down on the grass, but V’s wife immediately got me to come in out of concern I might get seen. I sat down, and within five minutes, it began.
<br>
<br>
I immediately noticed my head getting insanely heavy. I couldn’t resist it, and it pulled it down to my shoulder and I felt my brain dipping its toe into the Tripworld. I snapped out of it immediately, noticing the walls covered in crawling fur, but then my head became heavy again and rolled to the other side, and it ‘splashed’ again, and I mouthed in an exaggerated way “woahh”.
<br>
For the next thirty minutes, I kept slipping in and out of trip in this stifling room, each trip lasting for longer. The return was like being woken up in the morning, and I was unable to talk or walk. Everyone was watching me in horror/amusement (as in, wow, this guy is tripping balls on acid, I hope he doesn’t murder us) and they all began to fool around with me. I only knew three or so of them, so they didn’t give a shit if I was okay.
<br>
<br>
They poked me, jabbed me, told me I had snakes in my hair and on my shoulders and that I was going to die etc. I didn’t believe any of it, and knew it was all lies, but they continued. When I tried to move closer to someone they would jump away in fear. They were scared of me.
<br>
<br>
C asked me a few times if I was okay, good or bad. I shrugged before slipping back into trips, hitting my head on the TV. My chewing gum felt like a weird paste/powder in my mouth and was very unpleasant.
<br>
<br>
V came out and looked at me, and told C to get me out of there. I understand this, but still feel unhappy about being booted out in the state I was in. I tried to explain I was okay and apologise but all that came out was a baby’s gurgling. I stumbled and fell to C’s car, got in, and had him drive me to my brother’s. I for some reason told him directions that took us on a ten minute wild goose chase, slipping in and out of trip, and he got very unhappy at me.
<br>
<br>
I arrived at my brother’s house, and stumbled across the road in half-trip, trying to compose myself. I walked up the 70-something stairs vigorously, trying to stay out of trip, and walked through the door. My brother (a pot smoker) asked me what I took, and I replied in a daze ‘An LSD’ and he took me to his bedroom and got me a warm glass of water from his en suite. It was very hot in the room. He left and I laid down, and then the trip pulled me in.
<br>
<br>
It’s too much to describe. It’s like looking at a kaleidoscope, or a fractal pattern, or a TV on a channel that just registers fuzz, but infinitely more detailed and focused. And each little grain is a complex image, moving, expanding, enveloping, and it takes all of your focus to just observe this image. Time slows to a crawl. Seconds feel like hours. The whole time a vibration was going through my body, shaking me and hurting, and the sound of an engine was in my head unpleasantly. At this point I knew I was in this for the long haul – I just had to go along with the ride.
<br>
<br>
And I thought. Every second a thousand thoughts each unfolded in my mind, the meaning of life, each little detail about me, all the things wrong and right about me, what I like and what I hate, all unfolded and answered in my head like a debate, all the while this stunning image in front of me. I only slipped out of Tripworld when I heard a noise, or forced myself to, and at this point trips were lasting for around 30 minutes at a time.
<br>
<br>
My brother re-entered the room to check on me and use the toilet. I replied “Mm. Yeah. Ok,” To the things he said, unable to form sentences or focus on his words, knowing that the whole time Trip was waiting to pull me back in and envelope me. I slipped in for a second and forced myself out, and in my mind I wasn’t sure if I hallucinated my brother or if he actually entered the room. I called out his name, and he replied, and this was concerning to me. It was blurring the lines between reality and fiction.
<br>
<br>
At the peak, around 8-9PM, I went into a two hour trip. I thought I was going to die. I lived a thousand lives and discovered everything about myself. I had to record all I was thinking. My first thought was a tube of blue paint on his bedside table. I had already removed my shirt due to the intense heat and sweating I was undergoing, and proceeded to try to write with my fingers on my stomach and chest. I also wrote on my jeans.
<br>
<br>
At some stages I went through euphoric falling sequences of trip. I felt as if my body was falling towards the ground for minutes at a time, and I had the rollercoaster-type euphoria throughout my whole body during this, but afterwards when I ‘hit the ground’ my body became immensely sore and tired.
<br>
<br>
I lost focus easily when trying to complete tasks. For example, when trying to get a sip of water, I’d move halfway to the glass and then trip and fall into the bed, come to, and then go for the water again. Now I decided to record my thoughts in text messages by saving them as drafts. I completely forget writing them, but I read them in the morning and they are both full of gibberish and some rather wise sentiments. (The blue writing on my body was just a smear and dots when I checked, haha)
<br>
<br>
At 10:30PM my brother entered, and I was coming down but still strongly tripping, and told me to go sleep on the lounge because he wanted to go to bed. I obliged in the out-of-trip objective based mentality, where I could only do that one thing, and went and laid on his lounge. When I observed myself in the mirror, I was horrified to observe that I didn’t recognise the person looking back at me. My thoughts were, “Is this who I have been living as all my life? This isn’t the person I know.”
<br>
<br>
Walking while tripping was extremely odd. Whilst on his bed, I noticed my arms moving themselves and hands doing movements above me head without me controlling them, but when I was walking, if I moved my head it would ‘lock’ into that place, and I forgot my body. I was told I was walking on the spot with my eyes closed and tongue out by one of his roommates when trying to walk there after having my head lock in (it happened several times) which he found amusing.
<br>
<br>
I was still going in and out of trip, but I was strongly aware that it would be over. I sat out on his balcony, overlooking the beach in a nice breeze, and another of his roommates came out and started playing acoustic guitar. It sounded incredible. The music echoed all around me, and I sat very reflective of my experience, and ate several Doritos. Tastes are all changed around, and everything feels powdery or dry in your mouth.
<br>
<br>
I finally achieved sleep at about 12:30AM, and in the morning I was still noticing the fractal patterns when looking at anything, as if halfway between my eyes and the world like a filter, and this was off-putting. Walking also gave me the same ghostish feeling, as if I was drifting through and it was all a dream. I walked home that morning and had a shower and slept. My body and mind were both exhausted. For the rest of the day I noticed sparkles and glitter over everything and this was enjoyable to observe.
<br>
<br>
LSD is incredibly powerful. I had a bad trip, under bad circumstances, with very strong acid. Whilst I do not regret this, it has put me off of drugs for quite a while – I did not realise the strength they actually have and the torment they can inflict on the unprepared user. In summary, I will leave some notes for a potential LSD-user to think about (I will not be held accountable for my words, this is not advice, just what I have learnt).
<br>
<br>
<!--1.Do it either with one or two people you trust, or on your own.
<br/>
<br/>
2.Ensure you are in a cool spot. The heat was terrible.
<br/>
Preferably do it in your bedroom, on your bed, with a bottle of cold water nearby.
<br/>
<br/>
3.Expect, depending on the acid, to spend the next 8-13 hours immobilised. You will not be able to talk, eat, drive or walk, or perform anything that involves logic.
<br/>
<br/>
4.Only try it if you are completely 100% sure you want to. If you have any doubts or negativity, it’s likely you will have a bad trip.
<br/>
<br/>
5.Keep a computer or a notepad and pen nearby! Or an instrument!
<br/>
<br/>
6. Don't do it if you aren't ready. I regret doing it so young. If I could go back, I'd wait til I was at least 30.--><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2011</td><td width="90">ExpID: 89907</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 8, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,327</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=89907&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=89907&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Various (28), Bad Trips (6), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">200 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
1rst Time's the Charm
<br>
<br>
For a while I had been changing my mind about whether I should do LSD or not do it. Around the time I did it, I think I was succumbing to seasonal affective disorder, but at the time, I thought it was because I was using drugs too much, and I should stop. I decided that I'd smoke the rest of the weed I had, then do one hit of acid, and then take a break from all drugs, and slowly get back into them. The day I did the tab I kept a happy mind, looking forward to it all day. I stayed in my basement for the duration of the trip, and my friend was there, sleeping over.
<br>
<br>
At around 11:30 I put the tab under my tongue, and it stayed in my mouth for about 1 1/2 hours before I subconsciously swallowed it with my saliva. During the onset, I watched 2 of my favourite movies to keep me in a good mood. After about 2 hours, I started to feel kind of strange. It felt like an ecstasy high, not extremely strong, but it was there. At the movies, I laughed at almost every joke, even though I had seen each of the movies 5-6 times before. My laugh was nervous, it was a mix of a laugh and a shiver, I was a little cold. After 3 hours, I was a little anxious and angry. I was not hallucinating, and I didn't buy a hit of acid to get an E high. Around that time, my friend wanted to go to sleep (about 3 in the morning), so I turned out the lights and lay down. I was looking into space, hoping I'd see something, hoping I'd soon be in a magical colourful world, but I didn't feel much more than the ecstasy high, but it had evolved into a new feeling.
<br>
<br>
Soon enough, I began to hallucinate, if you can call it that. No, it wasn't a complete different place like I was expecting, and I didn't see anything with my eyes. But there was a world going on inside my brain. It was a revolving series of fencing construed with people I knew. An actress from the TV show 'The O.C' was the god of this world. She was gorgeous. I was so attracted to her....and I'll just say I did something about it. As I orgasmed, it was the most intense moment of my life. I felt the energy of a stadium or people pushing my senses to extreme intensity. I most likely saw everyone from my school, but I only remember a select few, 2 girls were gatekeepers, guarding the iron fence to this LSD world. Another girl wore a pouffy dress, she was the queen of this world. I saw a short boy in my grade, but he was an adult, and he was very tall. Ever since the trip, I have looked at my Science student teacher differently, he looks like a wizard, and I imagine him with a pointy hat, which leads me to believe I saw him too.
<br>
<br>
Anyways, my world kept spinning around my head, and I felt amazing for the rest of the night. I was constantly feeling my torso to confirm where I was in the world. After a while, I lost track of what was happening, and possibly passed out, though it didn't feel like waking up when I regained full consciousness. The next day felt like a pleasant hangover, like a buzzing that felt nice, tired, but comfortable.
<br>
<br>
Ever since the experience, the intense moments of my life have been much more intense. Whenever I see a thrilling movie, I feel the strong humming of the sound system and see the fast pace moving screen in a different way. That was my only time but I certainly intend to do LSD again, but I know well to do it in moderation.
<br>
<br>
I'm not sure if LSD caused it, but recently I had some sort of seizure, where I got dizzy, and heard voices clearly speaking to me. I was expecting more from the trip for overall I saw it as purely fun, and not the spiritual change I've heard of it causing. The next times I do it, I'll experiment with writing music, listening to music, leaving the house, going somewhere with light, anything to make it more interesting.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2007</td><td width="90">ExpID: 61910</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 12, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,036</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=61910&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=61910&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Hangover / Days After (46), First Times (2), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">75 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Changa</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">65 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Things about me:
<br>
I have a few psychedelic experiences under the buckle, done shrooms once, LSD once before, and changa a few times. Smoked a lot of weed, done some phenibut, and other minor things, so I am not the most experienced psychonaut, but I would classify me, as at least a little experienced. This trip was easily the most intense and challenging I have ever experienced.
<br>
<br>
Characters: Me, M, M's gf, and A.
<br>
It was a saturday night, and we were all hanging out a friend (M)'s house. A and I decided we wanted to trip a little, M couldn't cause he was picking up his girl later. M had some 150µg acid blotters laying around, but we had to get up in the morning so we did half a blotter each. After about an hour the acid had pretty much kicked fully in, and we were feeling nice and peaceful. Not any hallucinations atm, which was to expect. M left to get his gf, and we hung out and packed the pipe. We smoked the weed, and it potentiated the LSD a little bit, close to a hallucinatory extent but still not very intense, this was fine though, everything was going as planned.
<br>
<br>
After about T+1:30 we remembered M still had some changa lying around. We have smoked it a few times before, and it has led to about 15-20 minutes of some pretty intense shit, so we thought “hey let’s trip a little bit of balls and party on afterwards”... Oh boy was that a bad (good) idea. I put a few grains of the changa in the pipe, just enough to get a sober man, seeing some weird shit and think some thoughts, we agreed that it was probably about 0.02g. I lit up the pipe, and got a little disappointed when the effects didn’t kick in immediately like I’m used to. I didn’t redose though, as I was pretty sure it would kick in eventually and I was right. About 15 minutes after I smoke the changa I notice the floor starts slanting. Anywhere I look, the floor slanting upwards in an about 20 degree angle. That is where I notice “oh fuck guys I’m tripping balls!”
<br>
<br>
My friend takes me by the hand and says “dude you gotta look yourself in the mirror”. We often do this while tripping. As I look at my face I start giggling. The giggling turns into uncontrollable laughter, as my face begins looking unfamiliar and gets a red glow. The red intensifies, as the face in the mirror turns into a red siluet. Then suddenly *poof*. I’m back and I’m looking at my own face of amazement in the mirror. Or at least some colors and shapes resembling my face.
<br>
<br>
At this point I am walking surprisingly well. My friend told me it was impossible to see I was tripping, until I looked at him or opened my mouth. My sight was very weird. Kind of like looking through something that isn’t quite transparent. Nothing feels real, it feels like the world is seen through a tv screen. Sometimes I wasn’t sure if I could grab things, it felt like my hands would just hit the screen or something. The world is still slanting and everything is still shapes and colors. It was kind of scary at times, and hard to keep a good mood. It was fun but challenging.
<br>
<br>
Suddenly I think “I’ll play some guitar I must be super creative right now”. When I pick up the guitar, and look at the strings, they surprisingly look pretty familiar. When I try to put my fingers on them though, they start twisting, and avoiding me. Sometimes, a 7th string would appear and just screw with me, so I gave up. Fuck that guitar, if it wouldn’t let me play it, then I wouldn’t try.
<br>
<br>
I was told that after this, the others went outside, and I followed them pretty normally. The next thing I remember is suddenly standing outside and going “Wow shit! We’re outside!” and everyone starts laughing. This was kind of scary, and this “teleportation” happened a couple of times, but I (fascinatingly) didn’t bad trip.
<br>
<br>
The next few hours were pretty uneventful (I think they were very eventful, but not much to talk about) and at about T+5 I go to bed. At this point I still have pretty good visual hallucinations. As earlier mentioned the changa should have lasted about 20 minutes. This was about 4 hours later, and I was still tripping! While I lay in my bed, I have “while my guitar gently weeps” in my head and it keeps on playing. Not as you would normally have an annoying song in your head, I could literally hear it. This was a problem I had encountered earlier in the evening, and sometimes it had been louder than the people speaking to me which was really annoying, but not as annoying as this. I got up 3 times to turn off the music, only to realise that there was no music playing and it was all in my head.
<br>
<br>
<!--This story was not so much meant as a fun story, as a precoursion if you are going to try this combination. I highly encourage you to try, but please be careful! -->I used some pretty low doses, and I thank god for being careful, cause if this was a friday evening, and I didn’t have to get up in the morning, I could easily have doubled the dose. This would 100% have resulted in a bad trip. It was a very challenging trip, especially because of the duration.<!-- If you decide to try this, please be careful, cause it will hit you harder than you think, be more scary and last much longer! --> Changa should last about 20 minutes or so, but it lasted about 2-3 hours with very high intensity, before I even noticed it starting to wear off.
<br>
<br>
The next morning, I was surprisingly fresh and sane. That being said I could easily feel that I was a little slow, but I felt more normal than I feel like I should.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111606</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 17, 2018</td><td>Views: 2,169</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111606&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111606&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Changa (816) : General (1), Combinations (3), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2000 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dmt/">DMT</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">265 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<span class="erowid-warning">[Erowid Note:
The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]</span>
<br>
<br>
Being an inquisitive being, I grew up with questions... How this or that works, why does this do that, what is that, who is that, why do they behave this way, and etc. These ideations typically stemmed from my Christian upbringing as an adopted child who had a much different mind and concept of reality than my parents or community, not quite a black sheep, or really a sheep at all, maybe a fox? Anywho, ever since I set out on my own journey into adulthood and self-responsibility, I have detoured down many side roads in search of knowledge, wisdom, and change.
<br>
<br>
Whether that be change of mind, heart, or paradigm, I have aimed to grow, learn, and become fluid with change in an effort to become more centered and grounded when perceived negative changes manifest themselves in my life; as they do in all lives at some time or another.
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<br>
It was a Saturday, in June, and I was with some of my best friends, shooting the sh*t and entertaining conversational journeys into the unknown and mystical tropes of life. My two good friends and I decided to take some LSD at around 11am. I had just come into possession of a vial of LSD from a buddy who had acquired it from Oakland a week prior. I had also acquired some DMT and Harmine for a future pharmahuasca journey as well.
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<br>
I decided that I would take a saturated dose. A feat that I had done before, which had yielded quite a bit wisdom and knowledge about myself and the world. Which I had hoped to experience again.
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<br>
10 200μg drops. My friends each did 5 drops.About an hour later, our freefall into the grand abyss began. So off we went. We continued hanging out, talking about the Matrix, thought-loops, and how love is actually the answer (but only from within).
<br>
<br>
Color seemed to bleed into itself, flowing into other colors like torrential river rapids. The clouds began to spin into vortex's. Like 2nd dimensional hurricanes spinning towards us in the distance. The majesty was beyond incredible.
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<br>
We contemplated the significance of language and how everything we know is built on a very convoluded framework that faces translational inconsistancies even from one neighboring community to another, let alone from continent to continent; yet somehow, we continue to thrive, build, and grow. Now more fluidly than ever (contrary to mass media belief, we live in the best period for humans so far; which isn't to say that there aren't a lot of issues like crime, global warming, or hunger. But now, more than ever, more people have those needs at least partially met than ever. We definitely need to make some changes to fix some problems, but we are overall becoming better, more concientious beings.)
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<br>
We then dithered into our own minds for a time, as our memories began to fracture into a mosaic of lessons that we would each have the opportunity to learn from with our minds eye.
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<br>
About four hours of scattered ideas and conversation later, my mind latched itself onto an idea. Probably a basic idea, if I'm being honest. Think about a brain as if it were a TV. Normally one can switch between a few channels (i.e. day to day living). When one takes acid in a significant dose, it's almost as if one can begin streaming a ton of channels at once. One has new ideas, spark new creativity, process information with ease, and more. At least for me it amplifies my ability to process the omniverse around me. Anyways, I thought, if I can process better, than maybe I can process the data from the beyond better while on LSD! Thus I decided to do something... A massive dose of DMT, five hours into a gargantuan dose of LSD.
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<br>
We retreated from the backyard to our trip zone (i.e. the garage), turned on some cool lights and prepared the space with some smudging, incense, candles, and meditaion. I even put on some cool refractor glasses (glasses shaped like cut gems that refract what you see in 11 different ways).
<br>
<br>
We refined our emergency plan a little, as I was kind of breaking protocol, adding to my order after the food had already come, so to speak (luckily, we are all psychonauts and were equipped with at least moderate experience, and generally keen minds).
<br>
<br>
3...2...1... Inhale... ... ... ... What happened next was beyond fascinating to me. It was as if my consciousness split into two. Normally, when I'd done DMT in the past, I either got a euphoric dose where I stayed entirely connected to my physical body, or I blasted off and became an observer of the universe, no longer existing as myself, but as a presence stripped of self. But this time, the weirdest thing happened, I was conversing with my friends, while I was also journeying into the beyond, as if my soul and body had split but I was aware and in control of both at once.
<br>
<br>
I discussed how humans are literally no different than any other creature except for the definitions we have assigned based on our language that state otherwise. We eat, sleep, procreate, gather resources, excrete, breathe, travel, learn, grow... The main difference being that we do it in a very different fashion, but the goal is the same, fulfilling needs.
<br>
<br>
All that as a part of my consciousness flew through the beyond gathering information and processing it; until it came across a being... It's shape changed constantly, from humanoid, to blob, to animals of various types, to individual particles, and back to the beginning of the cycle again. The being was blacker than black, but had an aura of pure spectrums of light as if it was a force field eminating outward. Whatever form I was in tried to stare at the barrier of this being, it burned and was too bright to maintain a view of.
<br>
<br>
'Hello?' To which it replied with a bizarrely beautiful harmonic sound, that apparently carried with it a thought, because I understood what the sound said. 'Hello [name], it has been some time since you were here.' 'Where is here?' 'My home.' 'Who are you?' 'I am conciousness.' 'What do you mean?' 'I am the origin of this planes consciousness. I give all life here consciousness.' 'Why?' 'I experience everything that my consciousness experiences, feel all the feelings, and process all the thoughts. As a being's matter deteriorates and dies, the conciousness comes back to me and I feel the entire life, and send it back again.' 'But why? Why this life, these beings, why under the radar?' 'There are others like me, in other planes of this dimension and it's multiverse, and others, who all experience existence and share our results with each other and our culture. We cultivate knowledge, and study it in our dimension.' 'Where did you come...' Before the sentence could be said, it said, 'Goodbye, child.'
<br>
<br>
And with that, my parts became whole again. I was in a euphorically serene state. I felt like I had gleamed some fantastic data to mull over and consider. I shared my experiences with my friends and we continued our LSD trip, pondering the meaning of what I saw, coming up with new theories given that information and etc.
<br>
<br>
Overall, regardless of what is truth, I do think something is out there, and in our day and age the evidence is showing itself. Perhaps we will prove it in time. I like what I learned though:)<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2017</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111502</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 27</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 19, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,590</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111502&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111502&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), DMT (18) : General (1), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 bump</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/ketamine/">Ketamine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(edible / food)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">105 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I am a physician, mother of three children, wearing many hats, but practicing integrative medicine, as well as a Hospitalist in a very allopathic model in ------ Canada. I have been on a beautiful mystery ride of discovery, since childhood, to be sure, but amplified in the past 6 years.
<br>
<br>
If I may, I would love to share with you (I will aim to keep it brief!!) what I have learned, and with this, I am looking for a way to bring this to a larger audience, to inform wellness, and help others in their journeys. I had an ego death about two years before the events I am about to describe…wherein I was in the whole, the unity, the no time no space. It lasted for 5 days, wherein I was in pure consciousness, bliss, only able to eat plant-based foods, hyperesensorial, AWAKE in the dream.
<br>
The following is what unfolded 8 months after this ego death.
<br>
<br>
PART ONE
<br>
(via breathwork)
<br>
<br>
I had been to a Shaman earlier, last February, and during my vision quest (gained through breathwork alone), I had been reminded of these truths, but alas, we forgot them don't we? Or we fail to understand how they fit into the Chinese puzzle, until we are confronted by a lesson, and it is shown to us, beautiful and perfect, all over again. At that time, amongst 8 or 9 spirit entities/beings, I had been shown the face of a woman, in one instant, the most beautiful face I had ever seen, who then morphed in to an old hag, warted and hateful, then she was beautiful again. Her faces began to spin and blur, and then it was the yin and the yang, black and white, spinning spinning into grey and into UNITY. ALL. NO separation. Nothing is all or none. We are all ALL. During this vision, I was given a recording device (in my mind) by another sage guide. When I told this to the Shaman, he was pleased, and said any gift is one you need, and you will have this to overcome the need for words, and explanation, as both fall short, in these realms, don't they? He told me I would be getting so much information the next year, it is to help me retain it all.
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<br>
PART TWO
<br>
(via ketamine, tiny amount, right nare, no prior experience with this drug before, experience began about 2-3 minutes post inhalation).
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<br>
This past August, at Burning Man, I was catapulted back up to the blissful nirvana of the ALL, ONE, ONLY, of no linear time, no singular, the molecule amongst all the matter. I woke up in the hologram, keenly aware of the the game we are playing (my own emotion was total eclipsing joy, while receiving the download of information about the true nature of our reality)….but around me I saw the base, subconscious… how we utilize sex, substances, hallucinogens to try to regain the bliss we have known and forgotten, when our frequencies are low, kept down by our chemical restraints, societal constructs, industrial propaganda, etc…
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<br>
It was as though I had been in this space an eternity, that my entire 42 years of memory, existence, multiplied by a millennia of lifetimes, was all encompassed in this one campsite space. I had been there a million times, but I kept forgetting it. It was the place of childhood dreams, of orgasmic joy (accessed through the act of orgasm).
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<br>
I had had visions of what looked like two fingers (my index fingers) side by side…I saw this image in my mind for the past 2 years, never knowing what it meant (like Richard Dreyfus building the potato mountain in Close Encounters)….
<br>
In the campsite, seated on a lawn chair, when I looked down at my bare legs, side by each (wearing hot shorts :) ) it was the same image….two legs, side by side. It was MY TETHER. I had left myself this anchor, this talisman, this guidepost, that when I came back to the space of ALL NO TIME NO SPACE UNITY again, I would remember. I prayed that moment, 'Don't let me drop down, don't let me forget this time.' <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I prayed that moment, 'Don't let me drop down, don't let me forget this time.'</div></div> Perhaps because I had the device, or maybe the tether, or both, I did not forget.
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<br>
Because the ALL was so whole and expansive and bliss-filled, I regarded that state as the ONE and The REAL, and our three dimensional earth-bound reality as the effect, the experiment, the playground that is false and secondary. There, with eyes closed now, in a pink swirling dust filled womb of all, I was making reality in my mind, creating and manipulating it, seeing it is a manifestation of consciousness through an aperture, consciousness wanting to experience itself. I put my hand on the forehead of a friend I had met that day, and said, 'LOOK, look what I see'….and then he too SAW IT! He said: 'oh my god, none of this is real…..none of it is real'….It felt hierarchal, that our earth-bound life is somehow less, false, and of lower value.
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I was so wrong. I was caught still in polarity, in judgement of good or bad, or not appreciating the whole, and siding with the one.
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<br>
PART THREE
<br>
(mushrooms, approximately 1-2 grams in honey, eaten over a 10 hour period, and 1.5 tab of LSD taken in the late afternoon, experience began post-LSD)
<br>
<br>
Three nights ago, with a collective of friends in [Nova Scotia] - on an energetically harmonic island - (my first foray into hallucinogens since August) I returned to the place of the singular, but this time it was different. Instead of bliss, and such exuberant joy, I was afraid. How can I have learned so much knowledge and wisdom, and still feel fear? If this world is a construct, a hologram, a product of the ALL, and I have seen the all, then why am I suffering in this moment? If the world is the work of imagination, and then LSD is part of the imagination, and I am back to consciousness, why am I not feeling joy? What else is there to learn? Why am I lost in an infinite loop, unable to find the start, because there is not a beginning. Unable to reconcile the feeling of being unanchored.
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<br>
Very luckily for me, I had my friends, the music we were making, my amazing boyfriend (my lightening rod, ground stone, earthbound place keeper) to pull me back in this place, and my dear friend (who has also awoken) to remind me, this is not the time that I will understand. She made me hold on to myself, my shirt and said 'Feel this, this is REAL. Start here.'
<br>
I began feeling far far better, grounded and comforted.
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<br>
A few hours later, as I lay in bed, the information I had been desperately seeking hours before began unfurling out to me.
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<br>
I saw in my mind a massive cuboidal sliding box, with horizontal and vertical tetris logs sliding in and out, a matrix of all potential - green grid- with movement in every direction. Within the structure, in every direction, were tendrils of energy, silk threads, dancing and collapsing, locking on to other threads, and rising or falling together. It was a massive primordial soup of energy and frequency, all at once light, and matter, depending on observation and awareness. I was instantaneously reminded that there is no high or low, good or bad, female or male, better or worse, there is only the ALL. Our earth bound expression of consciousness is just as beautiful and intricate and profound as our nirvana of pure unity. Neither is the ONLY REAL. IT IS ALL THE REAL. We must navigate from one to the next, pulled up and down by all the energies around us, CHOOSING TO BE HERE, in this plane, learning to sail this most beautiful game by joining our forces, entangling with those who teach us, close our gaps, while we close theirs. Giving of ourselves to others who in turn buoy our own small boats, because none of us is alone EVER. We are all the fabric. I can be a thread that pulls up, tent pole the weave around me, and lifts those threads, raising our small piece of this infinite cloth, just as another thread can pull me up with its wisdom and strength.
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<br>
Just as there are forces of light and upward lift, there are forces that understand the box, who manipulate it for gain, and purposefully keep others base and blind.
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<br>
But just as neither bliss nor earth-real is superior, the mountain of light and upward vibrational pull also needs the shadow, the downward pull.
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<br>
It is the most beautifully intricate, perfectly imperfect, mind-blowingly complex yet absurdly simple cosmic dance, with forces within and without all trying to bring balance amongst the chaos. I was laughing aloud, clapping, hooting!! At the incredible fucking perfection of the whole goddamned thing!!! Like, WELL DONE!!! WELL DONE.
<br>
<br>
We need to share what we know, collaborate our virtues and gifts. We all of us have superhuman powers, some ability that is unique, that helps us navigate these waters.
<br>
<br>
One friend at my house remembers every lyric of every song. EVERY ONE. It is uncanny. Superhuman. He just started rapping and singing, and it just continues hahaha on and on. No end. It's remarkable. He must be downloading the infinite, unconscious of this ability, but accessing SOURCE none the less. Then another friend has introduced me to Chaga, which I drank and it opened my eyes...another spoke of the necessity of this reality, anchoring my soul….
<br>
And on and on. We are all at different stages of knowledge…again neither before or after, early or advanced….simply different, but complementary.
<br>
<br>
The signs are everywhere….in our music, our lyrical guidance, in our art, in the eyes of a baby, the beauty of a forest. There is a reminder at every corner…we are not alone. We are asleep. We need to wake up. Be the change you want to see. Dream, believe, act, work, fall down, stand up. We need to join each other, it takes a village. Trust your friends. Know your enemies. It is the teaching of all ancient texts, all religions, all spiritual prophecies. Jesus and Allah, and Mohammed were BIG upward thrusting TENT POLES, and they brought up a massive surge of the fabric in the direction of AWAKE, LOVE AND KINDNESS. Forces of shadow, of darkness, of hate and greed are just as powerful, and want to collapse down this momentum, carve a downward spiral of energy, and oppose this light.
<br>
<br>
We are all allies in this life, working through this space. Energetically entangled through a brilliant Rick and Morty time place warp continuum. (Have you watched that show?) My friend taught me I have to CHOOSE TO BE HERE. I choose to work here, and apply this to my medicine.
<br>
<br>
Also, like the ALL knowing space, this is but a sliver of knowledge. I accept that I will never know it all. I was blinded by pride, and the vestige of ego. How can we understand the infinite. I was a fool to believe I could, and I have surrendered to being the eternal student. Teach me and I will follow. Show me the light, and I will light those around me.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2017</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111252</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 42</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 21, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,903</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111252&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111252&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Mushrooms (39), Ketamine (31), Breathing (470) : Mystical Experiences (9), Retrospective / Summary (11), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">12 st</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I was young at the time, and my parents had gone away for the weekend, so two friends and myself each took one dose (blotter paper) of acid. We took the stuff in a forest near my house. It was midsummer, and where I live, it doesn't get fully dark till about eleven. We sat around for an hour or so, until dusk had set in, but nothing was happening to me and not much to them, so we decided to head back to my house. Another friend who hadn't taken anything came back too.
<br>
<br>
Soon after we got back, everything changed. Mainly, I began to feel nauseous, and I was hungry too, but there wasn't a hope in hell that I could even comtemplate eating anything. I went to the bathroom and sat down on the toilet and was horrified to see that my manhood had shrunk to about one inch!!! After that shock, I was very anxious to rid myself of the general feeling of malaise. Someone had told us that orange juice is an antidote to acid, so I forced myself to drink a small glass of it... it had no effect. (I've since read that it's also meant to enhance the trip, so I don't know what's true).
<br>
<br>
Paranoia about being discovered on drugs soon began to set in, so I bundled my tripping friends out of my house and asked my sober friend to stay the night in case I went mental (I thought I would never come back down). He agreed, but said that he'd need to write a note for his parents, so we walked back to his house so he could leave a note. At this stage, it was about about 2 am. I waited outside his house while he wrote the note and it was then that the strangest thing happened me. I had gotten a few visual effects, such as objects (cars, for example) 'shunting' quickly one way and then straight back, but nothing too impressive. But I was leaning on a low wall when I heard a man and a woman behind me. They were talking about me... The gist of their conversation was how 'awful' it was that I was on drugs and what would his parents think, and so on. But it didn't just fade away - the conversation continued for minutes! I know this, because my friend took about five minutes to come back out. I could hear every word said and two distinct voices saying them. I was utterly convinced that there were two people behind me engaged in conversation about my trip! Eventually, I plucked up the courage to look behind me and face them, and when I did, the only thing there were the leaves of a palm tree (or something like it) rustling in the breeze.
<br>
<br>
After that episode, which I simply couldn't believe, we headed back to my house. I tried to sleep, but it was after 7 am before I managed to get a couple of hours. I awoke and looked in the mirror - one of my pupils was dilated, the other wasn't... That wasn't what I needed to see either... But it returned to normal an hour or two later.
<br>
<br>
It's well-known but very true, one's internal state of mind is very important. Inner fears may be manifested as external stimuli.
<br>
<br>
I haven't tried acid since.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1996</td><td width="90">ExpID: 24042</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Mar 9, 2018</td><td>Views: 928</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=24042&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=24042&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Unknown</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">63 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<span class="erowid-warning">[Erowid Note:
A substance(s) in this report might be identified incorrectly. Erowid reviewers question the author's identification of the drug described. Although the report is included in the collection, the substance might be something other than the author believed it to be.]</span>
<br>
<br>
So...
<br>
I had 3 blotters... Each one was very strong according to what I had been told and the trip reports of others' on the same blotters , around 80-100 each...I took all three at once..Just by the time my they touched my mouth, I felt an overwhelming bitterness..I was sitting on my bed relaxing, having had a long hot shower before,and listened to some ambient. Needless to say I was a bit anxious and thinking about how the experience would be like, and about what I wanted to gain from it. As it was hitting me, at first I was feeling sort of stuck into the bed, trying to focus at the music.. I was feeling as if getting into time... For 1-2 hours it went up and up and up, I was slowly laughing all the time,also feeling some kind of shivering..
<br>
<br>
At certain parts I was feeling as if the substance was PUNISHING me, I suppose that was because it brought me a bit of nausea...after ~4 hours decided to go vomit, I managed to find the target.. :lol: Then I was sort of paranoid that my parents would figure out.. But I eventually managed to clean it.
<br>
All senses were intensified, I was hypersensitive to all of them, especially sound...
<br>
<br>
Furthermore, I felt a bit of ego death.. I didnt know who I am in the universe, confused,startled, --&gt; :o :huh: :blink: .. I largely wanted to express myself somehow, so I managed to find peace of mind in painting.. Just with a pencil, my hands were doing some sort of fractals, geometrical shapes and I was trying to concetrate and relax, fuel my energy somewhere..
<br>
I had the insight of being a much more 'primitive' being, but also using more of my brain in a different way, much more speedy.. I HAD to follow my insticts...
<br>
I wanted to become more extroverted...
<br>
After around 7-8 hours, in the morning , my mother woke up..
<br>
I went close to her, smiled, hugged her, asked her how she was doing..
<br>
I was restless but couldn't sleep.. When I was alone I had a shower. My sense of time was different, everything appeared more infinite in a way.
<br>
<br>
If I stared at objects they were changing,morphing, I believe these 'hallucinations' are the result of 1) Focusing,concetrating, 2)Images straight from the subconscious 3)Merging of the senses..
<br>
<br>
Funny thing is I imagined myself as some sort of elf... The way I was sitting on my bed or the way myself looked in the mirror..
<br>
<br>
Sometimes everything was just too much, even music so I took short breaks and trying to meditate by focusing on my breath and trying to visualize..
<br>
<br>
+7 hours.. I realize that if I focus too much on certain objects, everything else seemed to dissapear and/or seem more 'liquid' and blurry.. For exampe I would stare at my rooms lamp and I was seeing only it existing, just hanging in the air.
<br>
<br>
+14 hours after I decided to have a walk and meet some friend to talk..I had a strong urge to communicate. I found one at the moment, we decided to meet in a small park.. He was also startled and was asking me where/how I found the blotters.. I told him to be cautious about lsd and not just take it for 'fun', fun in the 'mainstream' way. I was laughing inside me, smiling , he though I was 'burned' so in the end I just decided to hug him...
<br>
<br>
It was feeling weird, as if power of gravity was stronger, as if the earth was grabbing me... I decided to have a walk in a [relatively small] forest... All I wanted was to hear the birds sing and feel the trees, the humidity,the air.. I was sitting on the benches...
<br>
<br>
I was forced, and also tried myself, to reform consciousness and awareness, body and mind awareness, reprogramm myself into something else, a new self emerging.
<br>
<br>
I was slowly coming down.. My reality had been flipped,decomposed, and I was slowly trying to re-form it, like a puzzle. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">My reality had been flipped,decomposed, and I was slowly trying to re-form it, like a puzzle.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
Weird enough , finally my memory has become better, more vivid, I learned to focus and channel my energy where I want.. But I've also become even more of a daydreamer, and learned to enjoy everything in life more, even just sitting and breathing.
<br>
<br>
I was seeing the similarities between things rather than the differencies, everything was ONE in a way.. Even music.. I was into it, every second was perceived as eternity. I was stunned at Tom Heasley - Desert Triptych , the magic of didgeridoo !!
<br>
<br>
+20 hours I was there sitting with my father and bros , touching them, hugging them and talking to them.. Relaxed, sitting on the couch.. About their problems, my problems, generally..
<br>
<br>
+24 hours.. I didnt want to sleep alone.. Decided to sleep in the same bed with my brother.. Trying to calm down and meditate.. Insomnia. I had this fear that I will never return, but I managed to sleep for a few hours I think, having really vivid visuals. I had opened some doors of perception.. What if they never closed again ?? I persuaded myself that it's about which doors you decided to open and which to close ;) You create your own reality.
<br>
<br>
On the other hand I also wanted to remember this experience and integrate in my life, which I've done.. The trip never ends, you have to change yourself, it's pointless to trip and then be exactly the same, making the same mistakes etc etc.
<br>
Also I had this insight that ,at least in our society, you'd better not deviate a lot from the normal.. We should always keep a bit of touch with the ground.. Example: Job. No one wants to but unfortunately you HAVE to.. Ideal would be trying to see everything as a game, so that you enjoy it more. Like a child.
<br>
<br>
Things seem newer now, I discover more of them, stare at them...
<br>
Intense appreciation for art , and a stronger need to express myself , to be more creative. I am calmer but at the same time more energetic.<!--[size=14][b][color=red]** Disclaimer **[/size][/b][/color]
<br/>
<br/>
Especially for those that haven't tripped, I know you might read it and get over-enthusiastic.
<br/>
Before trying to have some intense experience you'd better prepare yourself..
<br/>
Try to control yourself and not let paranoia and fear overwhelm you.. Follow your insticts but also remain logical... Filter some of your thoughts. I won the battle against my demons..
<br/>
<br/>
We created our own happiness [ Which doesn't mean resorting to psychedelics or other psychoactives at every chance.. Have a sense of balance.. ]
<br/>
<br/>
!--><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2006</td><td width="90">ExpID: 51309</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Mar 15, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,197</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=51309&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=51309&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">118 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
The experience I had was totally antithetic from the usual trip or high.
<br>
<br>
It was a regular school day, and the day before, I bought some weed from a local dealer and two hits of LSD. I smoked one dime bag before and save the other for the next day. I was anxious. I’ve never tried LSD before and I researched assiduously about the substance and its effects two months prior to my trip. I was exited. I’ve tried marijuana plenty of times and every high was a spectacular one. I was going with two of my friends. G and J. Both experienced psychonauts. And I was soon added to the crew of this trip.
<br>
<br>
It was finally lunchtime and I was one of the first ones out side. It was about 11:20 am. The weather was great, seemed unusual for mid winter weather. Especially for the city of New York. Clear sunny skies, cool breeze, warm air, birds chirping, even the nakedness of the trees of winter brought optimism with great avidity. Waiting for my two friends to come out of the school, two minutes later they appeared with smiles on their face. I could tell they were as exited as I was.
<br>
<br>
We all got together and started walking to a park not too far from our school. We decided we might as well cut school if we’re going to get high. One of my fellow friends, J is in grade 11, and the other my closest friend G whom I’ve known since 5th grade have been smoking for over a year. J asked me for the blotter tabs I bought the day before. They were about one inch by one-inch squares split in four halves. I decided to take two fourths of the blotter. I gave two to J and the full blotter paper to G who was more experienced. It was then we were getting ready to take off into a realm of consternation. The space of alternate perception that goes beyond all standards of society, the final frontier of the human mind and reality that is filled with galaxies of wonder held together by standards of true psyche. Ready to explore that frontier aboard our ship that is LSD and we are the psychonauts ready to explore this second “space”.
<br>
<br>
About 6 minutes after I placed the blotter paper under my tongue, I started to feel light headed. G told me to pass him the bag of weed I had brought. Placing my hand in my pocket to reach for it, I start to feel a little fearful. My heart was pounding. I felt it as if it were banging on my chest trying to get my attention as I try ignoring it to avoid panic. I start to feel something similar to a head rush, like I’m going to pass out. I pulled the bag out of my pocket and gave it to G as J started to try to start a conversation with me. I’m thinking to myself maybe he’s feeling the same way. My trip soon changed when my visual experience changed dramatically.
<br>
<br>
The people passing us by as we walk seemed different. Not human; warped if you will. I began to notice the little hallucinations taking place. People say its like stepping into a Picasso. I describe it more of a Dali or Barbara Brody painting. The ground twisting and warping around the feet stepping on it as if it were made of play-doh. Tall buildings seemed taller and arched over us as we walked in this new realm, trees twisting and swaying with the vivid emotions worn on the faces of the passing pedestrians like theatre masks. Twisting lampposts, getting taller and taller. I began to slip out of my discomfort and began to enjoy the effects of the LSD that was taking place in my head and before my eyes.
<br>
<br>
I realized my friend G had already finished rolling up the weed. We took a break in a park that was empty and isolated from the pedestrian freeway we got out of and lit the blunt. I was euphoric when I was passed the blunt and immediately took a hit from it. It was a pretty large hit, felt as if the air was the smoke itself. As I exhaled, I felt an immense pressure was being unloaded off of my lungs. As the smoke left my mouth and filled the air, it looked like it was forming a cloud above my head raining compensation upon me, embracing me and welcoming me into new perception. The marijuana started to take effect almost immediately. I took 5 more hits form the blunt before I was done with it and the substances completely consumed me.
<br>
<br>
Then came the euphoria. The euphoric experience was extreme. My well-being was strong and I felt incredible. My mood came out as vivid as the colors I saw. The shadows of the buildings seemed darker and to rise up off the ground creating implausible but incredible new structures. The sky’s clouds were melting, and seemed liquid like hovering above us. The hallucinations soon began to amplify and the unbelievable became believable. I was sort of freaked out but it was like an emotion tug of war. Every possible emotion pulling me every which way towards it. But happiness won that war because my euphoric state was strong.
<br>
<br>
We soon stopped at a mc Donald’s to chill. We went upstairs and sat down. There were mirrors on the wall. I looked at myself and saw a stranger. I saw a totally different person staring back at me and wondered what he was thinking, who is this person. I feared the worst. Has LSD slain my ego? I began to think that my soul was replaced with another. That I couldn’t return back to the standard world I usually live in. Without all the hallucinations. I feared that I lost my ability to get sober again. Then the hallucinations took a drastic turn for the worst. As the chairs and tables, light bulbs and decorations on the wall looked back at me, taunting me. I tasted the colored tiles on the wall, and they were bitter, stinging my tongue with hostility.
<br>
<br>
My friend J looked at me in concern and asked if I was all right. That emotional tug of war came out in my voice. I replied with a two-faced “yes” then began to sit. I was trembling. The racing train of thoughts in my head and my racing heart seemed to compete against each other to the finish line of my composure limit. I started to think I was having a bad trip. I started viewing LSD as a superior being that I have disobeyed and was waiting to punish me with a horrible trip waiting in its wings. Dysphoria hit me like a bomb. I couldn’t take it anymore. I was unconsciously talking to myself. My friend G told me to calm down. I replied with a “How could I when death is just around the corner” I wanted to yell, but I somehow controlled myself not to.
<br>
<br>
J suggested I listen to music. Then I remembered my iPod. I soon began to calm down and feel a spark of hope setting off my blaze of euphoria again. Looking forward to a musical experience on LSD. I took it out and turned it on. The bright screen projected like a hologram. Like the one you would see in star wars. I was then thinking about the perfect song. Then as I was scrolling I stumbled upon Type-O-Negative and played the song ‘Christian Woman’. The vocals set off a vibe in me that was powerful. I was elated. The word Euphoria lost its meaning, for what I felt was something ineffable. The experience soon felt dreamy. I saw a gorgeous woman that walked up the stairs. She seemed like a goddess, the fantasy type with light piercing around her figure and wind blowing through her hair. Time was slowed to the tempo of the song and perception seemed movie-like. I was captivated within the mood of the song until it was over. I scrolled to Nirvana and listened to my favorite song. It was Aneurysm.
<br>
<br>
The song was different. It sounded robotic. I remember replaying the whole song over and over. Just to keep it as an asylum from bad tripping again but I eventually stopped and joined in a conversation G and J were having about their trips, hot girls in the school they would sleep with, how hungry they were and such. The conversation was of great depth. I saw my friends in a different way. Like two strangers I knew, but didn’t quite get at times. It was about two hours and forty-five minutes into the trip/high and I was beginning to come down. Although I still had some visual hallucinations that I once again started to enjoy.
<br>
<br>
On the subway ride home, the LSD finally settled down with the sun. I was a bit buzzed by the weed. I felt as if the remaining effects of the weed were sad, all alone because the effects of the LSD were diminishing. That the weed lost its friend and partner in helping themselves at my sanity, but ended up being a battle I won with a little friend called euphoria. This coaster ride was rough but overall amazing. I’m definitely tripping again.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2009</td><td width="90">ExpID: 76842</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Mar 19, 2018</td><td>Views: 932</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=76842&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=76842&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), First Times (2), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> joints/cigs</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
The experiences of lsd had always somewhat interested me, even before I’d gotten into psychedelics. I started smoking weed about 3-4 years ago, and a friend of mine suggested we try to get some of that wonderful Sunshine we’d heard so much about.
<br>
For a good 3 months, we were out of luck; no one we knew had any idea how or where to get any. Then, while hanging out with some buds for a jamming session, we got the news…a friend of a friend of ours had some in their possession, and they were letting us buy 10 hits for $90. Sweet.
<br>
<br>
So, me, W, C, and J waited for them to get off work and show up with the goods…we waited, and waited, and waited. It was about 9:30 PM when it arrived, and we immediately began splitting up the hits. Since C and J had bought the strip with their money, they got 3 hits each, me and W got 2. We decided to eat only one at a time after extensive research online, which we naively thought prepared us for the effects. Needless to say…we were wrong.
<br>
<br>
Waiting for 30 minutes was excruciating, but soon we were finding the most mundane tasks hilarious. Lighting a joint was enthralling, and occasionally one of us would drop our lighter, sending us into giggle-fits. Then, we had the “brilliant” idea to turn off the lights in the apartment, and put on some trippy music…starting with the Beatles’ Revolution 9. Once “number 9” started repeating in the semi-darkness (because we’d also turned on a lava lamp in the corner), it all started.
<br>
<br>
Thinking back, I really can’t remember exactly what color that damn lava lamp was that night. I remember hues of green, red, and purple, but I’m not positive. Anyway, after enjoying mild visual distortions for about half an hour, such as watching the ceiling fan lower and raise as it spun, walls breathing, etc. etc., J and I decided to go out on the patio for a cig. Now, I’m a reasonably stable-minded guy, but he almost convinced me he was my Tyler Durden…my alter-ego, as it were. Hey, at the time, I wasn’t in much of a state to argue, I just denied. Here’s where the trip really set in.
<br>
<br>
10:30-ish…I was almost done smoking my cig. J had gone back in, and I remained outside trying to straighten my mind out. For some reason, his argument that he was my double seemed reasonable, but I couldn’t accept it. I finally got my head straight…reasonably…and turned to go back in, when I realized there were people coming over from across the parking lot. Paranoia set in like a ton of bricks. I ran inside, shut the door, and went into the bathroom. Once inside, I completely forgot why I’d come back in, and proceeded to take a piss. Coming back out into the living room, I noticed the other guys kinda freaking, and I asked what was up. W told me these people had come in, one chick wearing a weird mask, and he had scared her off by staring and touching the mask to make sure she was real. I had no clue what he was talking about. The people had completely slipped my mind!
<br>
<br>
We returned to the bedroom to listen to more music. Visuals were getting more and more intense. I could’ve sworn there was a strangely-shaped talisman or ornament of some kind suspended directly in front of my face, and I “grabbed” it and put it away. Now here’s where the fun began…
<br>
<br>
C said he had a cd that was really trippy, and he put it in the big, multi-tray stereo J had in his room. Lights out, lava lamp on, music beginning…but this was strange music. It was dark, sinister even, and we immediately felt a cold menace begin to creep into our reality. For the curious, the cd was Delerium Cordia by Fantomas. Shapes began moving and flitting about the dark room. We still had the giddy feeling of coming up, but it was rapidly becoming shadowed over by this…apocalyptic music invading our minds. Deep chants, strange screams and breathing sounds, weird moans and giggles and clangs…We felt like we were in some devil’s kitchen. The stereo became some kind of boiler, an oven that radiated evil. W began staring at the corners of the room, mumbling from time to time about things coming out of them. By now, we’d lost all association with time and the outside world. Our reality was the 9th level of hell. I recall C nonchalantly stepping into the closet on one side of the room and, just because I was feeling ducky, I shut the door behind him.
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<br>
“Dude, no, let me out, seriously, man, open the door I can’t stay in here open the door man really OPEN THE DOOR MAN DUDE!”
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<br>
Realizing it wasn’t locked or anything, he stepped out with a calm look on his face, which momentarily sent us into peals of giggles again.
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<br>
Finally, We decided to explore the rest of the apartment. That was quite possibly the most difficult thing we did that night. Opening the door was like opening a door into a different world, a separate universe. We’d forgotten to leave any lights on! Darkness greeted us, and it took quite a while for us to reach the kitchen, where the only light on was located. J, C, and W became fixated on a bubble rising up from the tiles of the floor, but I, for some reason I haven’t yet figured out, decided to return to the bedroom and finish listening to the music. Here’s where I blacked out a little. I do not remember what went on in that dark room where demons pranced about and laughed as they picked at me and flitted from corner to corner. I just sat in a chair, enraptured by the darkness.
<br>
<br>
Suddenly, W opened the door, and I realized the music had stopped.
<br>
“Dude? Dude, why are you in here?? C’mon, we’re about to go outside.”
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<br>
The idea intrigued me, and we all headed out onto a grassy lawn just outside the apartment. The sky, which should have been black from the night, was a blazing orange punctuated by small, black clouds rushing across its surface. We sat in the grass, captured by the brilliant display. Then, thinking we were coming down, we went back inside to the room, wisely flipping on the lights as we did. W somehow rolled a joint, and we smoked as we debated whether or not to take another tab. W and I were all for it, but C and J were against it, so we smoked the rest of the joint instead. Almost instantly, we peaked again. The next few hours or so are a hazy recollection of running around the apartment, laughing, staring wide-eyed at shapes that weren’t there, shapes that chased us, eluded us, played tag with us. W and I met up in the bathroom and stared into the mirror for a while, just to check our eyes. As we suspected…big as dinner plates. I remember distinctly one of the funniest moments of the night. J, C, and W were in the kitchen, I was in the living room. Suddenly, the kitchen light began to strobe, and each time it did, J would cry out in momentary panic. I went in to see what was going on, and found C and W laughing their asses off as J laid on the floor, squealing every time the light flashed. Then, J’s roommate, who was across the parking lot with some other friends, walked in the door.
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<br>
“I…noticed my kitchen was flashing…”
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Gales of laughter.
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<br>
Finally, we’d had enough. C and J went back into the bedroom to chill out to some Led Zeppelin, and W and I stayed in the living room playing a game to ground us. Before long, we realized the sun was shining in through the blinds. It was morning, real morning this time, and we felt ourselves crashing from the night’s events.
<br>
<br>
Although my first and only trip from acid was riddled with fear and darkness, it was also punctuated with mind-opening, euphoric revelations and visions. I’ll definitely do it again at any given opportunity, I guess because I’ve gotten the bad trip out of the way. Anything else would be a good trip in comparison…or so I thought. A month or two later, I first read others’ experiences with acid, and I was dumbfounded at the number of trips that were inconceivably worse than mine. This hasn’t changed my decisions in the least, however, and lsd still beckons me forward.<!--A recommended mind-expander for anyone steady of mind and strong of will, anyone looking for a revelation into themselves and the world around them, and anyone willing to let go of their accepted reality for a day or so.--> I still feel it at the edge of my consciousness, and I can’t wait for the next time.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 68131</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Mar 21, 2018</td><td>Views: 825</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=68131&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=68131&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
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<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">105 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 4:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">500 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">135 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Date: Monday, January 22, 2018
<br>
Substance: 105μg 98.9% Aztec Xtal Lysergic Acid Diethylamide-25 on blotter paper
<br>
Initial Dose: 06:23 AM
<br>
<br>
T+ 0:00 105μg LSD
<br>
T+ 4:30 .5g Cannabis (Hybrid Strain [White Widow]) 23% THC Sativa Dominant
<br>
<br>
I have been interested in exploring my consciousness since I refused to accept my Christian indoctrination as a means to an end as a child. Only recently (
<br>
I started doing serious research on psychedelics a few months before the start of 2018, eventually narrowing down on LSD, and eventually spent a week planning out the circumstances and the objectives of my first trip. Knowing the importance of set and setting; the plan was to trip alone at my house, during the day, starting at about six o'clock in the morning.
<br>
<br>
Aside from smoking cannabis, this has been my first experience with a psychedelic drug.
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<br>
<br>
I cleared the entire day for the trip so that there would be no distractions and I would have plenty of time for the trip itself as well as time to recover. I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock at 6:00 in the morning and had initially planned on ingesting the acid on an empty stomach, but was considerably hungry when I woke up so I ate two pieces of toast with blackberry jam. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and took the initial dose of 105μg LSD on a single tab of blotter paper by 6:23 AM, approximately one hour before sunrise.
<br>
<br>
My heart began to race as soon as the paper hit my tongue <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">My heart began to race as soon as the paper hit my tongue</div></div>--this was more excitement than nerves, but I quickly became very calm as I waited for the acid to dissolve until I swallowed the paper after about 15 minutes had gone by. This was the point of no return, no turning back now.
<br>
<br>
‘I just let one hundred and five micrograms of LSD dissolve in my mouth and swallowed the paper.’ Like unlocking a door and throwing away the key. I let this sink in for a moment, knowing that I was about to be completely at the liberty of my own subconscious or “Psychedelic Ego” for the next 8-10+ hours. As the late Terence McKenna never tired of pointing out, this guarantee of profound effect, for better or worse, is what separates psychedelics from every other method of spiritual inquiry.
<br>
<br>
I spent the next hour waiting anxiously for the effects to become apparent. I began to notice a mild body high and euphoria, but saw no immediate changes in perception or thought. I stepped outside my room and began wandering throughout the house, studying the environment. I noticed the shadow of a light fixture which appeared to be swaying back and forth against the wall, even though the lamp itself was completely still. This was about an hour into the trip and aside from some mild euphoria and hallucinations of shadows swaying and expanding, I otherwise seemed to be thinking clearly and felt somewhat “normal”. I was observing this environment that I interact with on a daily basis, from the perspective of being on a tour with my mind and the many tricks it’s capable of as the guide.
<br>
<br>
It was a very gentle ascent into the trip, I must have spent the next few hours walking around enjoying the visuals as they became more intense, and was reporting my observations to a friend I was speaking to on a voice call. This part of the trip was almost entirely extrospective, I was engulfed by the senses. I recall listening to “On the Beach” by Neil Young, running my fingers against the crisp texture of the paint on the walls while I watched as the world around me breathed and changed.
<br>
<br>
My mind was quiet. I wasn’t worried about anything and I was starting to get the idea that this is what it was all about; being present in the moment. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I was starting to get the idea that this is what it was all about; being present in the moment.</div></div> I wanted to test this idea by creating what I considered to be the “perfect moment” for myself, and basking in it. So I made some chai, loaded some very potent cannabis into my pipe, turned my music up and stepped outside. I sat down in my favorite chair on my patio and paused for a moment to take it all in. The piercing sun was presenting the most beautiful blue sky I had ever seen, with strips of clouds that looked like they had been painted on by a French impressionist. It was 60°F outside, the 20mph winds were crashing into me with every gust, seemingly in synchronicity with my music. Without a doubt, I was sure I had created the perfect moment, and I was immersed in it.
<br>
<br>
Perhaps in a lapse of judgement, I waited for the wind to pause, sparked my lighter and took a long toke on my pipe, followed by another to finish off the bowl. A few moments later I got up from my chair, laid down in the grass and looked up at the sky. I could feel every single blade of grass massaging against my skin. In a single moment I became aware of everything that had led me to this moment. My senses and my consciousness seemed vitally linked. I felt alive and vibrantly awake with everything I had. I was completely unaware of my body yet I was overwhelmed with a euphoric cocktail of sensory and emotion, it brought tears to my eyes. I was crying harder than I ever had before. I was crying harder than I did during the saddest moments of my life, and it was because I was so happy. <pullquote was grinning like an idiot sobbing uncontrollably and laughing>, because for that moment I think I felt what I could only describe as absolute love and understanding.
<br>
<br>
The more extrospective the trip became, the more in tune I was with my senses, the more I was able to be aware of the moment I was in--which is to say the more I became aware of existing. As soon as I caught on to this, my mind was suddenly racing and my blissful moment had ended. I stepped back inside and the extrospection instantaneously turned to seemingly infinite introspection as though someone had flipped a switch. It then dawned on me that what I might be experiencing was akin to what some have described as an “Ego-Death”.
<br>
<br>
This term is troubling to me. It is a linguistic paradox, which in my case induced a terrifying, seemingly endless thought loop upon asking myself the question; “Who is it that seeks to destroy the ego?” I came to the idea that the ego is something created when we attach a thought, sense, or a memory of an experience to oneself (self meaning a conscious physiological organism). So to say that “I” had this incredible moment of absolute bliss during which there was no ego present, seemed almost insulting--because if there is no ego, then who just had this experience?
<br>
<br>
With that in mind, it would seem to be that the experience itself of having an “ego-death” is the ultimate reassurance of the existence of an ego, contrary to the linguistic implications of the term. If ego is something we create by attaching a thought, sense or a memory of a moment to oneself, thereby marking the end of that moment; what happens when we try to attach a moment of egolessness to oneself?
<br>
<br>
I spent the next 2-3 hours in an endless game of tug-of-war between this state of egolessness and my ego which was trying to process what just happened. I was beginning to think I had lost my mind, which of course caused me to get the idea that I might be having a “bad trip” which sparked another thought loop over questions such as “Who is tripping right now?” “What makes a good trip vs a bad trip?” “If there is no ego, then who is going to come down from this trip?”
<br>
<br>
The loops continued, and I the concern I was having for being in the uncontrollably terrifying state was producing more concern because I was concerned which produced concern that I would never come back from this state which I was concerned about which lead me to ask myself again “Who is in this state?” and it happened over and over again like that. Which is a definition of insanity, to repeat the same task over and over and again expecting different results.
<br>
<br>
By a certain point I began to get the idea that each step of this psychedelic experience, each phase of this “ego-death” was part of a larger process. The initial moment of egolessness I experienced birthed the awareness of this happening and thus the awareness of an ego, as it is the ego that is aware of the happening.
<br>
<br>
A series of involuntary thought loops and caused by the paradoxical validation of an ego after experiencing a state of egolessness is what lead to the final dissolution of the external ego and thus the understanding that the polarity between ego and egolessness defines existence itself. As Ramana Maharshi says, the question ‘Who am I?’ is not really meant to get an answer, the question is meant to dissolve the questioner.
<br>
<br>
This I believe is the state often referred to in psychedelic culture as “oneness with the universe”. Wherein it is possible to reach the understanding and feeling of singularity between the constructed ego and the underlying constant of existence and consciousness which lies beneath.
<br>
<br>
Once I came to understand this, I was finally able to return to the present moment and quiet my mind again. It was during this time which was the comedown that I was also experiencing the most intense fractal visuals of the entire trip. I was listening to classical music and Alan Watts lectures, who’s words brought me peace and comfort as he seemed to be able to explain everything I had been struggling to put into words.
<br>
<br>
This experience has changed my perspective of the ego. It has awakened me to the interdependent relationship of consciousness and existence--which was the case before I came to this understanding, and is still the case now that I have come to this understanding. The difference is the awareness of the understanding.
<br>
<br>
This experience taught me that it wasn’t about what I wanted to go in and ‘get’ from the experience. It was about redefining who ‘I’ am altogether. This experience taught me to appreciate the high definition that polarity gives to existence.
<br>
<br>
I also know now that going into these states is not about recording what I can of them so that I can explain it all to myself when I come back down. It’s an awakening of sorts. I come to understand that the ego is something that is birthed from a state of egolessness. So being in the psychedelic moment is to be without the ego. To try to understand is to have the ego present.
<br>
<br>
So my objective now, when re-entering this headspace is to be completely present in the moment it provides. The moment of egolessness. In Hinduism, this is called Sacchidānanda, which represents “existence, consciousness, and bliss” or “truth, consciousness, bliss' and is an epithet and description for the subjective experience of the ultimate, unchanging reality, Brahman.
<br>
<br>
[Bracketed text was additional detail or an edit provided by the author one week after the first time they submitted the report, and added after it was first published.]<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111573</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 6, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,101</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111573&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111573&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Alone (16), First Times (2), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</pullquote></div>
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<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">100 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I went through a year of partying when I was 21. My husband was going in the army and the time would soon come where I had to put aside my old ways and become a prim and proper officer's wife. So I decided to go ahead and cram as much partying as I could in as short a time as possible. I'd discovered acid when I was 20 (I never did drugs as a teen *gasp* and tried pot for the first time when I was 19) and I loved it from the start. I had been using e since I was 19 and I was bored with the sameness that I always experienced and I found something new and wonderful in acid. From that first sugar cube, I was hooked.
<br>
<br>
I loved everything about it. I had absolutely no inhibitions, everything was fun, and I was rediscovering the world like a five year old. It was wonderful. Well, I started to do it every weekend. Friday, I'd drive over to this guy's house and score some acid for me and my friends. At first, I'd only take one or two hits, but as time passed I was taking up to six hits at a time. At first, I just stuck to Fridays, but then I started doing it on Saturdays too. Then, nothing else would do but to start tripping on all the days of the week. I went a week without breathing a sober breath. I was working at a video store at that time, and I would sit there watching movies and helping customers with dimed-out pupils and a vacant stare.
<br>
<br>
I was totally frying myself out on acid, but I didn't care because I was having fun. I still thought I was having fun when I started making big mistakes. I'm not going to mention the biggest, because I still hate myself for it and will never get over it, but I did charge my credit card up to the max so that I could save my money for pot and acid. I was such a fool. I don't know when it stopped being fun for me. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I don't know when it stopped being fun for me.</div></div> It was just something to escape the problems I'd created for myself. I'd drop a few hits, turn on some music, dance around, and talk to my friends. Before long, I would be crying or freaking out and screaming. All of my friends told me that I needed to stop, but I couldn't. Acid is my Achilles Heal. For some people it's alcohol or heroin or coke, no, mine's acid. I've never heard of acid addictions, I didn't go through withdrawls or serious pain, but if I didn't trip, I would get so depressed and suicidal that I just had to do it to forget. This went on for several months and then I moved to North Carolina. My husband go stationed here in the Army and of course I followed him like a good wife should. Of course, there were no drugs to be found (I will not get him in trouble) and I had to quit cold-turkey. I sank into a depression so deep that I was practically catatonic. I would sit in my chair and lay there all day, I'd be in the same position when my husband came home 9 hours later. I eventually swallowed all of my prescription pills for depression (zoloft) because the info brochure said that overdosing could cause fatal injury or harm. I sure wanted that. My husband came in the bathroom and noticed the empty bottle that had been refilled the day before and questioned me. He then rushed me to the emergency room where I had to drink liquid charcoal. They put me in ICU and kept me on suicide watch. They then committed me for evaluation. Let me tell you, psych wards are no fun. I was so scared and just wanted to go home, I kept beggin and begging, but they wouldn't let me. So I just pretended like nothing was wrong and told them what they wanted to hear. The dr. knew I was doing that, but he really couldn't prove it so I went home.
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<br>
During my acid binge I went from 110 lbs to 95 lbs. I was skeletal. I honestly don't know how I could have done that to myself. I didn't eat much, and I never slept. I look at pictures from that time period and I just can't believe that it's me. I still have permatrip. I see trails and have difficulty driving at night. I still have flashbacks, but no where near as many as I used to have. I can look at the ceiling right now and see it start to shift and move and the walls breathe ever so slightly. I think I will be like this for the rest of my life. I wish that I had made wiser decisions. Now I'm 23 and I'm trying to make something for myself. I have a hard time making conversation and I stutter when I'm nervous (and I used to provide such sparkling conversation and wit!).
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<br>
Over that year, I can honestly say that I tripped at least 100 times and many of those times I took more than 3 hits of acid. My average was 5, but I've done as much as 8 at one time. I also used ecstasy and marijuana regularly. I know that I've fried myself out and a lot of my friends have to. I feel really guilty for turning on my friends to acid. Some of them have gone totally nuts and fried themselves out on harder drugs and some don't really do that much anymore, but I think their lives would have been a lot simpler if I hadn't introduced them to that stupid peice of paper. I have regrets, but I also have wonderful memories. Perhaps with time, I will recover completely and the memories will become rose-tinted with age. Until then, I long for acid. I want to do it so badly, but I stay away and plan to forever.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 18337</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 11, 2018</td><td>Views: 2,137</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=18337&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=18337&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction &amp; Habituation (10), Depression (15), Hangover / Days After (46), Post Trip Problems (8), Not Applicable (38)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 7:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/ketamine/">Ketamine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 7:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Beer/Wine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(extract)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">120 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Trip Report: Saxophone K-Hole (+LSD) and I now think my friends are aliens.
<br>
<br>
This last weekend I performed at a grassroots music festival.<!-- in Rogue River, Oregon.--> I arrived on Friday between 1:30 &amp; 2pm. When I arrive I check in, park, and take a walk to catch my bearings on the venue and say hi to people. Checking the set times for Friday I learn that I have the day free because one of the groups I was playing with changed their performance time to early Saturday.
<br>
<br>
At about 5:30 I drop an Owsley Bear tab from my friend I’ll call “B” that is said to be just over 400 mics. I walk around and feel myself in a real smooth come up. At about 6:15 I come across my friend again and he asks if I’m ready for another tab already. Since the day is pretty much open for me and I don’t have anything to be too responsible for, my inner rockstar kicks in and I drop another tab.
<br>
<br>
I want to say I really started feeling a peak start about 6:30. I am feeling great going through an ego dissolution (not a full on ego death). I can’t speak straight by this time but I can still communicate with reality for the most part. The LSD wasn’t visual really at all but I could definitely feel it kicking strong throughout my body. I could feel everyone around me and I felt like I could simultaneously feel where they were directing their attention and energy. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I could feel everyone around me and I felt like I could simultaneously feel where they were directing their attention and energy.</div></div> The stage is indoors to escape the rain and I start feeling like the room is getting smaller and smaller. The auditorium visually didn’t get smaller or change at all I was just experiencing the feeling of it.
<br>
<br>
At some point claustrophobia kicks in then everything became way overwhelming. I walk to the car to smoke a blunt (which was hard to roll with shaky hands) and grab a couple beers to help ease up the trip, and just by holding a beer as I walked around helped me feel like I was more apart of the vibe that was going on for some reason. I am comfortable enough to go back to the auditorium and listen to the bands that were playing. But I would have to intermittently step outside smoke some weed and recenter my self before I go back in and bob my head (I don’t dance) to the tunes. One of the times I was outside a DJ friend of mine <!--named “Dick Deeper”--> came up to me and said that he was hosting a VIP late-night Ninja Stage that night in one of the other rooms at the venue and told me (didn’t ask me) that I was playing on his set. He knew I would be up for it anyway because that’s just who I am.
<br>
<br>
Friday night on the Main Stage was coming to a close. The Frankie Hernandez Band was headlining Friday and put on an amazing show. After they were done just after midnight, I walked to buy a beer from the beer garden because I was tired of tasting the Rolling Rock I brought with me. As I was ordering I still felt like I was peaking and had one of the most awkward encounters ordering a beer ever. The people working the bar were making fun of me for being so high but they thought I was so dissociated I didn’t understand that they were making fun of me to my face. As much as I wanted to call the bartenders out for being dicks I couldn’t really form my communication at the time and I have a hard time participating or reciprocating with negative energy on large doses. It becomes a portal that if I go down it becomes very difficult to find another portal back toward positive psychedelia.
<br>
<br>
I walk back to the car and check on my friend that is tripping. I drink my beer, smoke a blunt, and restock my jacket pockets with Rolling Rock. I grab my saxophone and my friend walks with me toward the Ninja Stage room. <!--As we are passing by the Main Stage we notice that there is a band playing and we step in to check what’s going on since we thought Main Stage had already ended for the night. It turned out that a popular local band was in attendance and the promoters asked them to play a surprise set and close the night out. -->He stays at Main Stage to watch the band and I walk over to the Ninja Stage to see what’s up.
<br>
<br>
At about 12:30am I walk in and the room is full of festi-kids and lasers. My friend is behind turn tables mixing back and forth between R&amp;B remixes and alien sounding tech-house tracks. I put my saxophone in a safe spot behind the turn tables and say hi to some of the producers and friends. At this time my LSD trip has seemed to settle into a nice vibey experience. <!--Dick Deeper takes a break and DJ Quantum Mechanic -->A new DJ takes over as I start setting up my saxophone and he lets me know that he is going to switch it up from tech to deep house, I tell him to hit me with what he’s got and I’ll just go with his flow. I start just noodling on the sax a little bit to catch the feeling of the tracks that are playing. It doesn’t take too long before I lock in and the LSD is unlocking creative abilities as I am improvising on whatever the DJ is playing. My friend comes back in after a while and asks <!--Quantum Mechanic--> the current DJ for his spoon and the little plastic jar of K. He takes a bump then gives us each a bump. B walks in and I ask if he can get a bump since he still has his K cherry to pop.
<br>
<br>
As the first bump kicks in I notice it gives more of a high than the first time I did K at Oregon Eclipse which felt more like a drunkenness. I keep jamming along and my friend takes back over the turn tables. B breaks off an Owsley Bear tab for each of us standing at the turn table and we all drop. Some point later my friend puts on a longer track so he can spoon up some K for us. As he is putting the spoon in my direction he kind of has a grin but I go down and get a good strong sniff and feel it instantly hit the back of my throat and I even cough a bit.
<br>
<br>
And this is where the story actually begins...
<br>
<br>
I start swimming in the K. Time and space start coming to a pause. Sound is starting to smear and break down into clicks and other weird noises. Through this I am unconscious within reality but am still playing saxophone. I am watching the turn tables and my frame of view starts reconstructing itself then linearly recreates itself again and again and builds a crazy repeating spiral Mandelbrot type fractal out of the the thousands of individual frames that were all created in my vision. Through the night I kept going in and out of frames of reference and couldn’t tell if If my vision kept creating new ones or if I was flying around the fractal visiting old ones. I remember having to lean back against the wall then somehow I end up leaned against the arm of a couch and it feels like I settle into a cloud. I didn’t know what I was sitting back against at the time and I didn’t care to figure it out. Right at this moment everything seemed perfect like I was supposed to be there like it was accorded to some universal order somehow. I was comfortable sitting in a cloud playing my saxophone in front of the loudspeaker pounding sound at me. The lasers on the wall kept breaking apart and each dot from the laser seemed like portals of information I could fly through. At this point I am no longer in reality by any means. I hardly remember playing the saxophone through this journey. But the little bit of playing I remember it seemed like I had to really make each sound I made absolutely matter. This felt like one of the strongest spiritual connections I’ve had while playing music or doing anything for that matter. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">This felt like one of the strongest spiritual connections I’ve had while playing music or doing anything for that matter.</div></div> All of my vibrato, swells, rhythms, crescendo, and other technical abilities were beyond anything I’ve felt like I’ve ever been able to accomplish on the saxophone. The emotion flowing out of me through the saxophone was unreal.
<br>
<br>
I come to reality for a minute and another DJ is on the turn tables free styling her set because her flash drive wouldn’t work and she looks at me and says this is one of the greatest things she’s been apart of and I jam out the set with her. This was also the first instance I have met her and her and I were throwing it down hard but what was more amazing is that she didn’t know any of the tracks she was even playing and she was on killing it.
<br>
<br>
All of my friends turned into aliens. <!--Quantum Mechanic-->The DJ before was back on the turntables at some point and when I looked up at him while he was talking to me and he had an eyeball popping out of his forehead. It wasn’t like your regular human eye either, it was big and looked like one giant pupil. After I noticed that I looked around and saw other people and friends with an eyeball popping out of their foreheads too. Not everyone had an eyeball on their forehead but just a couple of the male people in the room. The people with eyeballs on their foreheads also seemed like they were also communicating specifically with each other and less with others. It seemed like they were communicating about me and how they tapped me in so to keep me going. The dialog was crazy... I only heard parts of sentences here and there from different people over the night but it seemed like each part I heard completed the last part of a communication from an earlier time of the night. With the way my mind put it all together I was being asked if I wanted to stay on that psychedelic plane and board their ship and go with them or if I wanted to return to my body but if I chose to go with them I would never be allowed to return.
<br>
<br>
I told them I like where I am at but I want to go home at some point because there are things on Earth I need to take care of and make right with loved ones specifically my mom as I regret the way I’ve treated her and the hell I’ve sent her through and I wouldn’t want to leave her with the way things are even though I feel like everything we’ve done to each other is irreparable and I’ve lost her forever even though she’s alive today. I didn’t have any want to reconnect with my dad through any of it I noticed post-journey. I wanted to somehow see my dog again but I couldn’t find a resolution to that issue in my journey. My mom gave my dog away last summer without my knowledge while I was gone at a show and he was being baby sat and I haven’t talked to her since. I also realized I need to do whatever I need to to visit my grandparents before they pass on and before I choose to board the ship if I ever chose to. I had this conversation with myself about my belief in God and Satan which seemed to strengthen and validate my thoughts and beliefs. I felt like Satan was there with me trying to make me realize him and give me the sense that he is the bearer of light and intelligence. It felt as though Satan gave me the choice to accomplish anything I want to if I decided to commit myself to him right there as he would bless me with all of the talents and abilities I longed for from that point on... I could simply be the greatest ever in an instant. Right at that realization is where I caught my bearings on Satan. I don’t want to be the greatest ever and know it. I want to do great things and help my fellow people along their path but to live by the fact that I am greater than anyone or anything else is not my intention on how I want to influence the world around me. In earlier years I thought I was greater than others around me and let the ego play me into being a fool with nobody there for me.
<br>
<br>
As soon as I refuse Satan’s offer this girl with blue hair sits down next to me and starts talking to me. This girl is very beautiful and I am able to have an amazing conversation with her but then Satan comes back and says I can have her but if I become one with her I am his forever. I felt like Satan was playing on how lonely I am since I have been wanting to have a deep connection with a very special person in my life. I came to an understanding that loneliness and the feeling of wanting love in life is another form of personal sacrifice. Personal sacrifice is something I’ve felt God has been teaching me in a unique way. Talking with other people they have their own ways of personal sacrifice but it feels like the teachings through a brick and mortar church from a reverend, priest, and pastor are desensitizing from being able to feel the absolute true center of yourself. But then again each individual is on their own path and I cannot claim anyone to be any more or less sensitive than I am.
<br>
<br>
<!--Quantum Mechanic and Dick Deeper-->My friend and the other DJ are standing at the turn tables looking at me and I see them both looking like aliens with eyeballs in their forehead and <!--Quantum Mechanic-->one says to me “Now do you see?” and I respond with a very blunt “Ohhhhhhh FUCK” and they both start giggling and say “Oh yeah, it is what it is brother”. I realize at this moment I am actually sitting in one of the seats on the couch. DJ W*** is making his way behind the turn tables and I’m still jamming out on my saxophone this whole time. W***’s first track he mixes into pulls me out of my frame of reference and I get sucked back out of the individual frame and see the fractal spiraling again. Colors are exploding in linear patterns for what seemed like millions of years and at some point I come back to and notice my hands moving in grid like patterns in front of my face but I have no control over them. My hands are just dancing to the music. Then shortly I’m back to flying around the fractal playing my saxophone for what felt like eternity.
<br>
<br>
I get dropped back into reality trying to realize and understand what just happened. It’s like I woke up seeing the sunrise out of the window across the room sitting on a random couch with my saxophone in my hands and I was very confused on where I was, what I was doing, and how I got there. I look over and see W*** on the turn tables playing tech house then he drops a really funky tech house track and I play a little bit more with my journey fresh on my mind. Not too long later W*** flips on auto DJ and comes and sits on the couch with me and tells me what a great night it was and that he really enjoyed my sax playing. One of the promoters walk into the room and lets people know there is breakfast being cooked by the beer garden. For the first time all night I am able to stand up and I grab my saxophone case from behind the turn tables and put my saxophone away. People are in and out of the room and tell me about how sensational they thought I was through the night. People told me they could see me settle hard into my k-hole and they were all feeling it too. Soon the promoters walk in and let us know the venue owners are on the property so we need to get the room cleaned up of all the bottles, cans, and drug baggies. After doing a little cleaning <!--Dick Deeper-->my friend tells me to follow him out for a dab and we head out the back door to this tent. As I’m walking up to this tent this dude comes flying out of the tent to come shake my hand and tell me about how much he enjoyed the sax then introduces himself and the other people that are rooming with him in the tent. We all get in rotation for dabs and get invited to someone else’s camp for breakfast burritos which were amazing.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111765</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 22</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 13, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,388</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111765&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111765&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Ketamine (31) : Rave / Dance Event (18), Music Discussion (22), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">98 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Timothy Leary's first paper on his approved experiments with his psychology students utilizing very pure LSD had just been published in 'The Harvard Review'. A fellow nicknamed Crow, a psychology student in Leary's experiment (long before he told everyone to 'Turn on, tune in, and drop out.'), offered us a guided trip on LSD. We accepted, as he explained 'set and setting', purpose, possible benefits, fasting from the night before 'taking the trip' to increase intensity, etc.
<br>
<br>
The next day, as planned, he returned to the Lower East Side apartment of our artist friend, Pompa, where we eagerly awaited this experience. Five of us, Pompa, Dan, my boyfriend, Tim Hardin, and his girlfriend, Eunice, and myself ingested the LSD, feeling very relaxed and comfortable with Crow, a beautiful young man who looked like a Native American. We had all done peyote, brought back from Mexico by Tim a few weeks earlier, just the five of us, and knew that we had it together as a group to go with LSD.
<br>
<br>
Crow was a gifted student of psychology, and very experienced with LSD. He did not take any. He was there to guide us, and assure that we had a positive experience. Pompa's radiant paintings covered the walls of the room, and his sweet, gentle laughter as his cat insisted on coming in from the back courtyard, triggered my first smooth move into a new world.
<br>
<br>
Looking at the cat, yelling 'meow' very loudly, I felt his telepathic command to Pompa that the window be opened now. We all silently agreed that the grey, orange and white tomcat had the right to be with us, and would engender some interesting insights into feline emotions and thoughts. Pompa moved like a dancer across the room, opened the window and the cat laughed and leaped into his arms. They hugged, the cat purred vibrato and base with joy, as Pompa whirled around, snuggling and laughing with his friend, the very large cat.
<br>
<br>
Then he put him on the floor, and he came to each of us, jumping into our laps, tenderly tapping faces, meowing and demanding to be petted, as each of us received his attentions with great humility, as he was a one-man cat, and normally treated all but Pompa with typical feline disdain, ignoring profferred tidbits or any attempts to befriend him. But today was different. He visited each of us, then sat in the center of the room, the perfect picture of an Egyptian statue of a cat God.
<br>
<br>
Having our complete attention, he poured out the story of feline-human relations from the beginning of time, delighted that finally we could understand him, intensely sharing all that was, is and ever will be in the world of the cat sharing the planet with other species, and choosing to be our companion, and an invaluable partner in his role of rodent control, which cats consider the smallest and easiest contribution that they make to humanity. Dumbstruck with awe, glancing at each other from time to time, able to read the cat's and each other's minds, we were humbled by this lucid being who gracefully shared important realities that we had never considered before. He shared with us how the cat had once been treated with the proper respect, in the ancient days of Egypt, how when a small cat died, their human families would mourn, mummify their little bodies, and give them solemn burials.
<br>
<br>
He gave us to know that our other close companion, the dog, was junior to cats in wisdom, but that their capacity for unconditional love inspired cats, who, by his admission, generally showed less patience, and were more inclined to just use pantomime and vocalizations to get us to respond to their needs, rather than continue to waste energy sending us their thoughts. He did remark that fortunately many cats had the good fortune to have humans who really made an effort in that regard. He said that dogs never quit trying to encourage their humans to really hear their hearts.
<br>
<br>
Then he cut to the quick as he imparted the grave truth to us that we failed most animals, especially the horse, who, like cats and dogs, forgave us everything, as they served in whatever capacity we required of them; from plowing our fields to fighting our wars with us, only to be thanked by being sent to the knackers when their useful days were over. While the horse served loyally as long as they were sound, it was a criminal shame that so many were sold to wind up in a dog food can, or on the plates of the degenerate French people, and the other horsemeat eaters of the world.
<br>
<br>
Once again, we were humbled, and I vowed, as a horse crazy girl, that whenever I should finally have my own horse, I would never sell it to be meat. <!--(Having since been owned by thirteen horses, and a mule, I have never sent a horse away, never sold a horse. They have all received good care, feed and other essentials, including their vaccinations and wormings, and other veterinary attention as needed for colic or injuries, just as my dogs and cats always have. When any of them became too old and ill or infirm to enjoy getting up and eating, I gave them a humane release with the help of my veterinarian, thanking them for being my good and true friend, ending their suffering and freeing them from their pain.)-->
<br>
<br>
But back to my first LSD trip.
<br>
<br>
After the cat was satisfied that we had received all the truth we could handle, and would never be the same, he ordered his dinner, and left us to our guide. As we looked into each other's eyes, we saw love and compassion there.
<br>
<br>
As evening was coming on, Crow and Pompa made a fire in the fireplace, and we listened to Handel's Messiah, drank herb tea, graciously prepared and served by Crow, and nibbled on the best oranges we had ever eaten.
<br>
<br>
Our unity of bliss remained and we talked of the beauty of Pompa's paintings, and the infinite warmth and splendid dance of the fire blazing on the hearth. And we listened deeply to the power and majesty of the human spirit in the music. Everything in the universe was in perfect harmony, and we were grateful humans, having been blessed by a heart to heart talk with a normally distant cat. We knew that we would never take an animal for granted again.
<br>
<br>
I did not know that night how famous Tim would become with the Martin guitar that Eunice shortly thereafter bought for him, as a songwriter and performer. I remember the day he cut his first record, and as a songwriter and singer/musician, he did have genius. I would, several times, over the years, go to see him perform, and we would always smoke something and reminisce about that night, and other really good times we had shared.
<br>
<br>
But I did not know that night how his life would be cut short by the tragedy of drug addiction. In those days of our innocent adventurous youth, I never imagined that he would die so young.
<br>
<br>
Although our first LSD trip left us feeling enlightened, believing we knew everything important, understanding how the entire universe worked, none of us foresaw our futures.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1963</td><td width="90">ExpID: 23845</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 13, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,042</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=23845&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=23845&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Guides / Sitters (39), Retrospective / Summary (11), First Times (2), Second Hand Report (42), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 17:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Pharms - Thioridazine</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">185 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I began fooling with drugs at 17, first with pot, hashish, glue &amp; alcohol...occasionally, when I bumped into something. Once out of hi skool, I took a job as a supply clerk/printer for a local dept. store. I met other 'heads' there, mostly stockboys...thru 'the Polack', a fat racist loudmouth who led me to an acid dealer in the mall... I paid $5 for a tiny orange pill with brown flecks...this was 'Orange Wedge', very intense stuff<!-- likely laced with speed-->.
<br>
<br>
I dropped the whole tab around noon, a Nov. Sunday, &amp; then went to see 'heavy' flick 'Five Easy Pieces' w/ Jack Nicholson. The acid took about 90 minutes to hit; I turned into soup, and thought the sides of the theater were on fire; that passed and I got so deep into the movie that it became real. Jack's character Bobby Dupea was an alienated loner, full of angst, guilt and rootlessness. I would've seen myself in Bobby straight; on this shit, I thought I was Bobby, at least during the movie. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I would've seen myself in Bobby straight; on this shit, I thought I was Bobby, at least during the movie.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
After that we split to my friend's apt. (he was straight) &amp; the visuals began. I stared at a watermark 'Printed In USA' on his big Elliot Gould poster; suddenly the poster flowed with words, in shocking pink / lime green dayglo; when I tried to read them, they'd break up &amp; change, undulating snake-like. I could shake the visions off; I dug this aspect, but was not into the abdomen to-head rushes.
<br>
<br>
Back home mom served dinner &amp; ate it but cldn't taste it. Later I watched 'Lassie' and 'Ed Sullivan'...TV seemed to blunt hallucinating. My mom was in failing health and went into a woe-is-me speech, during which her face aged rapidly; later she went into a life's-not-so-bad speech &amp; looked sixteen.
<br>
<br>
I repaired to my room &amp; listened to 'White Light/ White Heat', but it sounded flat. I flashed on The Words again, now appearing on my closet door. Around 12 AM, my head felt straighter but the abdominal rushes wldn't stop; I cramped up, kept changing positions, cldn't sleep...around five AM I threw in the towel &amp; asked Mom,'What shld I do?' She was quite mad, but said, Go to ER, which was walking distance. There I got rxed Mellarill to calm down &amp; Quaalude to sleep... I didn't need the latter, saved them for 1971, ha ha. The Mellarill was as weird as the acid, but heavy down...it took me a few daze to snap out of it...
<br>
<br>
I didn't fuck with acid again for five years, the source a close bud I trusted.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1970</td><td width="90">ExpID: 95837</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 14, 2018</td><td>Views: 790</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=95837&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=95837&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Various (28), Hangover / Days After (46), First Times (2)</td></tr>
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</table>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
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<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">180 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It’s been over 20 years now. It’s hard to believe that it’s been that long, yet it is something that I still think about almost every day.
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<br>
I was 17 years old. It started in Omaha, Nebraska, the summer of 1987. My friend “M” had his eyes on a new girlfriend. Her name was Cindy. The problem between “M” and I was that this was Cindy # 3 since the start of school last September. Cindy 1 and 2 ended up wanting to be with me, even though M did the leg work. I couldn’t help it though, it was out of my control, and M knew it and didn’t blame me, but DAMN IT.
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<br>
M and I, and our friends were always game for dropping acid. I thought of acid as a nothing more than a party drug. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I thought of acid as a nothing more than a party drug.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
M told me that his new friend Cindy was from Fremont, and she knew a guy there that had or made some really good acid. M arranged to go to Fremont with Cindy, and he invited me to go with him on the condition that I would not cock block him again. M and I always did well together when chasing the girls, despite the recent Cindy phenomenon. I agreed, and off we went.<!--
<br/>
<br/>
Somehow the seating arrangement on the way to Fremont had me in the back seat with Cindy. M was riding shotgun. Inexplicitly and right on cue, I immediately started hitting it off with her. M was not pleased, and he started giving me the stink eye. I couldn’t help it though. It wasn’t me. Cindy was making her own choices, and I wasn’t pushing her, it was just happening that way. To make matters worse, I really liked Cindy, and it would be hard for me to let go because we had already begun to bond. I would nonetheless honor my commitment to M. Cindy was off limits.-->
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<br>
When we got to Fremont it was getting dark. We got dropped off at the local convenience store, and soon picked up by the guy who had the acid. He was much older than us, an adult. M and I got in the back seat, and Cindy rode up front. We got to the guy’s house, and he and Cindy went inside. <!--M and I waited in the back seat, and we again went over the fact that I wasn’t to cock block him. -->
<br>
<br>
They came out of the house and got back in the car. The guy started telling us about the acid. He told us that it was fresh, made that day. It was called “Rubik’s Cube” it was blotter. He also said that it went on the sheet thick in some spots, and that he wasn’t sure how much acid he was giving us, and as such would be a responsible “guide” and stick with us on our journey, as to keep us out of trouble.
<br>
<br>
No problem. M and I bought 2 hits each. M took them both, I myself was more cautious only taking one being a little spooked by the “thicker in some parts” speech. Our guide and Cindy weren’t dropping. They would take care of us. We smoked a bowl or two of weed in the car and off we went.
<br>
<br>
I wasn’t on any kind of vision quest when we dropped. I was just a teenager looking for a good time, but what transpired next has changed me forever.
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<br>
My trip started off as per usual. Trails, laughing, and the on rush of what was to come. I waited anxiously for the trippy things I would see and feel. We smoked some more weed. Our guide started driving us in a loop, into and out of town as we waited for the acid to take full effect. He put his ZZ-Top tape in, and it played on a loop for the duration of the night.
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<br>
So there we were, smoking weed, listening to ZZ-Top “la Grange” over and over, and then driving in and out of town, going from the “LIGHT” to the dark in an endless cycle.
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<br>
Before I knew it I was tripping really hard. I began asking myself a question. I’m not sure what this “divine” question was exactly, but I was asking myself this question over and over in chorus with riding in and out of the dark. When we would ride into the dark, I was fearful. I’m not sure if our Guide ever actually spoke, but it was as if he was saying to me “We are going into the dark, do you choose this dark path? Only you can choose the path to the Light. The decision is yours, Dark or Light?” The dark way was empty, void of anything. The Light way was Truth, Love, and the connection to everything that binds everyone and everything together as one.
<br>
<br>
As I sat there in the back of the car, I lost my connection to my body. I couldn’t feel my body in the same way as normal. I had a different center. I could not tell what my hands were doing. I had the sensation that I was… touching myself inappropriately. I had to sit on my hands to ensure that they weren’t doing anything that they ought not to be doing, and I felt very embarrassed. I then had the sensation of crying uncontrollably. I felt the strong emotions related to crying complete with uncontrollable Alligator tears, yet my face was dry.
<br>
<br>
From time to time we would stop in town at the convenience store. This at first seemed to be a reprieve from my current condition… choice between Light and Dark, but it wasn’t to be. I was loosing track of myself. At times I would slip into another world, and spoke words in another language that I do not know. I would then suddenly “return” not knowing what I had just said, or what actions I had just taken. I asked M, “What did I just say?, What did I just say!!?” He didn’t know. “I don’t know, it sounds like you are talking backwards.”, he said. “It’s just the acid”.
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<br>
Back into the car we went. Back into the cycle of light and dark, ZZ-Top, crying, and now the added freak show of speaking in tongues that I do not understand. The reality that I was destined for the dark was becoming all too convincing, and I pondered the Question in an absolute panic to save my own soul when WHAM, the Love and Truth of the Light overwhelmed me. I had answered the riddle. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I pondered the Question in an absolute panic to save my own soul when WHAM, the Love and Truth of the Light overwhelmed me. I had answered the riddle.</div></div> I basked in the glory of the Light of Love for everyone, and everything. The Light of Truth and Love shined on me proudly, and at that moment I knew everything that there is to know. The truth of us all, and of the love that connects everything in the Universe. The Light was proud of me, and so was Cindy who was also in the Light. She looked at me and smiled. She was as proud of me as the Light was, and I loved her for it. She, the Light, I and everything were One. We were the “Only One”.
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<br>
We got back into the car and somehow I forgot the answer to the question. It put me in a panic. I knew that I didn’t want to go back into the dark, but that it would be my destiny if I couldn’t solve the riddle. While I pondered the question I learned that we are all One. “THE ONE”. We are on the Journey of the One. All of creation in the universe, and all of time in all places is one thing. One beautiful “One” and it was me, I was everything, and everything was me.
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Despite the revelation I continued to go into and out of the dark. I would answer the question and see the love, joy and bliss with everything in the Light, then back to the darkness of ignorance. I did this over and over, back and forth.
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<br>
Finally the Light said to me “Thank you for coming, don’t forget I love you. Don’t forget the lesson you have learned. Take heed as I have shown you the true path to me, don’t let the dark be your destiny, you now know the way, and we will meet again. Always believe in the sacred Love and Truth, and practice Goodness in your life, and you will find me easily.”
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<br>
Morning came and the trip was over. That was that.
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<br>
M, our guide, Cindy and I started back to Omaha to drop M and I off home. I was speechless on the way home. I had so many questions. How could this be? Who else knows the Truth? What do I do now that I know that life is an illusion?
<br>
<br>
I never saw Cindy again after that. M and I drifted apart, yet that night will live with me forever. I will never forget it. Thank you Cindy for being the love of my life. I miss you and will always love you. You showed me the way, and I am forever grateful. I hope one day to join with you again. May truth and love be your companion for eternity.<!--
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<br/>
I love you Cindy.--><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1987</td><td width="90">ExpID: 70668</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 17</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 19, 2018</td><td>Views: 782</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=70668&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=70668&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Mystical Experiences (9), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
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<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">120 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It was around my 15th birthday if I can recall, give or take a couple weeks, when I had the hardest trip I've ever had. It was the 3rd time I had ever taken acid. The 1st time was either in late 91 or early 92 with a friend of mine that scored it from someone at school or something and we stayed out all night riding our bikes around in a shopping mall district where there were a lot of lights. That was the 1st time I had ever gotten high right there, so I was drawn to acid from the very beginning and back then it was more readily available than nowadays it seems.
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<br>
But anyway, an old neighbor and some of his friends I had met were about to score some acid so I jumped at the opportunity and got some as well. I think I payed $20 for this strip that was equivalent to at least 5 hits of cut blotter, and this was some really good acid too. I was kinda scared to eat them all but I saw someone else eat one just like it so I said screw it and ate the sucker. Ohhhhhhhh man I wish I didn’t have now. I knew that once you drop there isn’t any turning back so I just went with it and rode around with them smoking up.
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<br>
It wasn’t until about 90 minutes or so later that it 1st peeked its evil little head out the door so see what was going on. I was smoking a Camel Wide (at that time they were brand new) and I looked at my cigarette and watched the camel start doing laps around the cigarette while everything in the background (road, cars, houses, etc.) was increasingly starting to get a reddish haze to it. I knew right then that I was in for it. I was supposed to go to school the next day so I went home like a dumbass thinking I could lay back and enjoy it for awhile and then go to sleep.
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<br>
I'm about 2 hours into it now and sitting in my little room with my blacklight on and listening to the radio (classic rock) just thinking. I was new to the area and had just moved there from out of state around a couple of months before and had a lot on my mind at the time. It was suddenly getting difficult to breath and the red haze over everything was starting to get pretty intense. From there all of the minor details are difficult to remember. Maybe 20-30 minutes after that they played Pink Floyd Comfortably Numb and I was starting to get a little jittery thinking that I had done way too much and prayed to god silently that it wouldn’t creep anymore. Not more than 20 seconds after that the radio violently sounded like a tape getting eaten up and was slowing down, similar to putting your hand on a record while it is playing but with a evil intensity about it. I immediately freaked and jumped up screaming at the top of my lungs like a little girl and right then it was as if time was standing still, the clocks stopped blinking and I felt like I was in a horror movie. The strange thing was I never even got up while all this was happening, I was still sitting on my bed. I then knew I really did it this time and it wasn’t about to get any prettier so I got the hell out of that room and once I walked out into the living room it just completely ended, everything was peaceful as could be like I wasn’t tripping at all hardly. I asked my parent if they heard me yell and they said no while watching TV.
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<br>
From this point on it is all bits and pieces that I can remember. I completely lost 3 hours and I don’t even remember what I did during that time, I think I may have went back to my neighbors house but I don’t remember, even a few days after I did it I didn’t remember. All I remember from the next point on is that its early morning and I'm laying in the living room curled up into a ball on the couch scared to death of my surroundings. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">All I remember from the next point on is that its early morning and I'm laying in the living room curled up into a ball on the couch scared to death of my surroundings.</div></div> The TV was on some early morning religious show and I remember I suddenly looked up at the TV and the guy turned into an extremely evil reddish figure pointing at me saying in the worst voice you can ever imagine “its your turn to burn”. It was then that I was so terrified that I ran into my room and actually hid under my covers shivering. I wasn’t safe in there for very long because a few moments later I thought I was being sucked into the bed and at the same time was trapped inside of the covers and couldn’t get out and felt like I was suffocating. After I managed to get myself out of the covers I bolted out of that house quicker than a dog chasing a rabbit and ran down the street in dense early A.M. Fog. Oh man, this was really messed up. I was actually hearing people getting shot everywhere and people screaming off in a distance and it was just pure chaos everywhere. A dog started barking at me and his barks were getting louder and louder and louder and it then turned into a scream. It wasn’t far of a run but it seemed like at least 20 minutes when really it was less than 2 maybe. I eventually made it to the house of someone else that dropped (another neighbor) and he was tripping pretty good too. I was freaking him out telling him that I was about to die and all this. He tried his best to reassure me but it did not work. I wigged him out too bad and he acted like he needed to go to sleep or something so I walked outside and once he shut the door I felt like I'd been cast out to the wolves.
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I cowered home and sat at the kitchen table and put my head down praying it would go away or at least lighten up and then I started drowning in the table, now that was most disturbing. This has happened to me another time also on acid but not near as frightening or intense. I knew my parents were about to get up and I was supposed to go to school but there was no way in hell I was going to make it in that day, so I walked to my neighbors house and luckily he answered the door and let me in. I felt a little more at ease for next few hours. I remember sitting there on the couch and smoking a bowl with him and someone else and I just layed back and I started tripping so fkn hard hearing some kind of messed up 70’s sounding tune in my head and I whenever I closed my eyes I was seeing all kinds of extremely intense stuff, there wasn’t any blackness like when I usually close my eyes, it was like looking at an alternate reality whenever I closed my eyes. I wasn’t about to come down and I thought that I had seriously screwed myself up and played it off with them like I was going to go home and lay down. I went home and I knew that I needed to go to the hospital because I was mentally melting down. I calmly told my mom that I took something and that I was fkn losing it but I lied about the who, where, and why. My dad came home and they both and my sister took me to the emergency room. The radio was off in the car but I was hearing music and I remember telling my dad to turn the channel when he pointed out that it wasn’t even on I started flipping. They got me to the hospital and the doctor quickly put me on a bed and strapped me down for some reason, that was very unpleasant. I remember my dad looked scared to death that I was gonna die. The doctor gave me a couple of pills to swallow and not more than 20 minutes later I was dead tired. I finally went to sleep not long after that and slept for around 2 days.
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To this day I am positive that I never fully recovered from that particular trip. I realized this when I dropped a hit last night. I haven’t done acid in a few years and I forgot how it felt, even though I have probably done half a sheets worth in my lifetime. Not to sound like a public service announcement but a word to the wise, I took too much at once, and I fkn regretted it. <!--If you don’t know your limits it can put the fear of God into you and drive you insane at the same time.--> It was like jumping off the deep end without a lifeguard and once I dove there wasn't any turning back.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1992</td><td width="90">ExpID: 46828</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 15</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 19, 2018</td><td>Views: 881</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=46828&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=46828&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Overdose (29), Post Trip Problems (8), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
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<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">155 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
The Stages of Ego Death A Detailed Analysis
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<br>
Disclaimer:
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<br>
All information that is explained here is based on a combination of my own personal experience and accounts of similar experience in others. Ego death is very personal and your own beliefs and knowledge of this incarnation will be expressed outwardly and inwardly. I also find it essential to establish that you, and I, do not know anything. We think and we interpret, but to know is to end. We will not know until we know. As a result, the explanations below are simply interpretations in the infinite search for Truth :) ALSO worth noting is that his experience is LSD specific, I have not experienced ego death on other substances (yet).
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Background: (skip if you don't really care about my beliefs going in)
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I have experienced this beautiful phenomenon only two times and the first time I was tripping while drunk and on bars so I wrote it off as drug induced psychosis (good story for another time, much more chaos, much less answers). The next time I experienced ego death was on a humble 150ug and in a beautiful place with beautiful people. There was no reason for anything to go 'wrong'. Additionally, I figure it's worth noting that I have been meditating daily for 3ish years and have been studying psychology for the same amount of time. The trip I will specifically mention <!--throughout the post--> was probably my 30-40th if I had to guess. <!--Now for the juicy stuff...-->
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Vocab:
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The mass of religions around the world use different words and myths to largely explain the exact same concepts. I have my own personal vocab for these metaphysical concepts that I will list below:
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<br>
The Devil = 'bad' vibes = death = negative = yin = fear
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God = one = love = universal consciousness = unity = yang
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Ego Death = third eye opening = divine intervention etc.
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1. Pre-Death:
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<br>
Not much worth posting about this because it's simply the start of your trip. At this point, you're probably in that excitatory, mildly-anxious acid come up. You're leaving your sober reality behind and entering the very familiar trip realm. If you're like me, ego death isn't your goal and you're planning on drawing and bonding w/ nature. During my trip, I was following a small stream that slowly trickled around rock formations for about a half mile before reaching a massive waterfall along narrow cliffside. I was with two good friends who I was comfortable with, but I had just met them this year. Both lovely people. Only one of them also decided to trip with me, who we'll call Brice. (The other dude we'll call Tyler).
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2. Something Strange / The Mirror
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It was at this point in my trip, at the bottom of the waterfall, that I felt an absolutely strange energy emanate throughout the trees, the wind, and my own body. I can literally feel that something very very intense is about to happen. The care-free fun I was having climbing on rocks and running my hands through the water was entirely diminished. Unfortunately, my memory gets hazy at this point and I can't give a flawless account of what I was feeling at the time. What I can tell you is that slowly, or maybe rapidly, every single thought and emotion that I produced was reflected flawlessly by my environment. No slip ups. Perfect synchronization.
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On a side note, moments before the claws of insanity took hold, I asked my friend if he could do this thing that I've been able to do anytime I'm tripping. Basically what I do is completely relax my eye muscles and look at nothing in particular. Rather than focus on one specific thing, you relax, breathe, and focus on everything simultaneously. He had no idea what I was talking about.
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3. FEAR
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For reasons I have yet to uncover, the transition to this 'place' (I like to call it the grey, I'll expand later) is almost always met with terror. I'm talking visceral, life-threatening fear. As I felt the aforementioned strange vibrations echo through my being, a group of fellow college students began to approach. Seeing outsiders on acid is either a warm and loving experience for me or an awkward, flustered, anxiety-induced miscommunication. With the nature of the things going on around me, I was nothing but scared. They had a dog without a leash with them and I strongly prayed it wouldn't approach me so as to avoid communication with these people who would most likely think I was insane. Of course, the dog chose me. It was at this point that I completely lost any illusion of control I had over myself and the external world. As these people walked by with the dog, I looked at the girl who owned it and I swear I had seen her face before. But in a very surreal, unexplainable way. These people were not external entities outside of myself going to see the waterfall. They WERE me. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">These people were not external entities outside of myself going to see the waterfall. They WERE me.</div></div> We were all one. It wasn't like I was watching them and thinking about what they were doing, they were acting out my thoughts. And due to my fear of them and the nature of my mirrored reality, they turned on me. One member of the group was a black man with a tight, orange sweater with a completely shaved head, black pants, and black boots. I knew he was gonna kill me. This complete stranger, whom I have never met, stood roughly 10 feet away and looked me directly into my eyes. He had this look that showed he was absolutely gonna kill me if he needed to, and it was his mission, but he really didn't want to.
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Whenever I feel anxiety or any other devilish vibrations on acid, my two safety blankets are drawing (Creating) and meditation (Being). As I felt this terror of death and infinity, I suddenly had the idea to draw. To set the scene, my backpack was under a very large withered log that arced over it about 20 feet from the waterfall. As I walked toward my backpack, the orange sweatered man climbed on top of the log and stood over my backpack just staring at me. He wasn't going to let me create. And I knew this. I cannot quite discern how the following transition occurred, but Tyler, the sober one, suggesting we traverse deeper into the woods.
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4. The Holy Mountain
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At this point, I just wanna say thanks for reading this fucking monolith of a reddit post. I've never explained some shit to this depth online so I hope it's entertaining enough.
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Anyhow, I should point out that our sober friend Tyler, had recently gotten out of a very long and intimate relationship with his lady. Due to the nature of acid and potency of the vibrations you can feel when in the trip realm I could tell he was hurting. As we traversed deeper into the woods, for some reason, I got it in my head that the rest of the trip was for him. I imagined us going to a spot we all deemed suitable for kicking it where he would suddenly break down and we would build him up and it would be beautiful and all that jazz. I was fucking wrong. This trip was all me.
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<br>
We went deeper into the woods and quite literally and metaphorically reached a mountain. Less like a mountain and more like a slightly larger than normal incline to a higher ground. But you get the symbolism.
<br>
<br>
The mountain was full of trees that had burned and were utterly gnarled. There was ash nearly up to my ankles and it was overall just a complete shit show. Really steep incline too. I should note at this point I had the strong assumption that all of this was leading to my death. I wasn't sure if it was gonna be my death or my enlightenment but I knew it was something along those lines.
<br>
<br>
We crossed over the top of the mountain and oh-my-fucking-god lemme tell you it was beyond beautiful. It was a field that seemed to go on infinitely and vast clouds that blanketed the entire sky in beauty. Me being naive and having a head full of acid and divine synchronicity, I assumed I had reached heaven. I dropped my backpack and proceeded to run full speed toward the sun (it was about 2 hours before sunset). I had elation that I was gonna merge with the universal consciousness that exists in everything and I would reach the end of suffering. But, as I'm sure you guessed, I was wrong yet again.
<br>
<br>
5. The Grey
<br>
<br>
This is the part of the ego death experience where you experience existential dread like never before and supreme fear of the infinite. The Devil is able to access your thoughts just as easy as the Light is. And to be reborn with the knowledge you gain from the experience, you gotta look evil in the face.
<br>
<br>
After reaching the middle of the field I realized nothing was going to happen if I didn't initiate something. I also ripped my shirt off on the way and threw some pretty dope rings I had into oblivion (I thought god wanted me to remove my material possessions, fuck me right). The most logical explanation was that I needed to meditate. I needed to radiate metta and become truly free of fear to properly reach nirvana. I then proceed to meditate (very poorly might I add, much more forced than usual) only to reach extreme frustration. I was getting close but it wasn't working. I would meditate and ohm and hear a divine echo of the ohm. I can't explain it well in words, but if you imagine a sound echoing infinitely until the echo and the sound become the same frequency, I assumed this was what the God consciousness sounded like. I was literally screaming at one point because I completely thought I was ascending. Only to open my eyes. Every single time. And still be at the same field. And then came fear.
<br>
<br>
I realized I wasn't ready to ascend because I was far too afraid. I wasn't completely at peace. I was horrified of death. Thoughts are like viruses. And the next thought I had was that, in order to completely remove myself from fear, I had to be brutally killed and be okay with it (think the monk burning in Vietnam in the 70s.) The sun was near setting at this point and I was very cold from having no shirt on. If had to weigh the forces of evil at this I would put the devil at 85% and the light at 15%. He was winning. Viscuously. I had an awful headache and my stomach churned. I was freezing. I was scared. I thought I was going to be stuck in the grey forever. I had images of wild dogs coming out at sun down and ripping me apart. I thought this was an initiation to reach the after life. I began to cycle between good and evil. I would experience intense bliss and love and then descend into fear and hatred for everything. I was a perfect yin yang. Balance. When I looked down at the ground the grass was literally folded around me to form a yin and yang around my body. Additionally I had a near-transparent 'wall' that cut directly down the middle of my body and extended infinitely forward and into the sky. The Devil had had his turn winning, the Light had shown me a proper way, and then I got an answer.
<br>
<br>
Side note: I think the devil 'wins' in the grey when a person decides to kill themselves. A LOT of imagery and thoughts tried to point me in that direction. But I knew that wasn't the move.
<br>
<br>
6. Revelation
<br>
<br>
Somewhere out of the oblivion, out of the infinite matrix of time and space, the answer to all of my suffering found its way into my consciousness. 'I'm gonna be okay'. I literally said it out loud to my friends. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">'I'm gonna be okay'. I literally said it out loud to my friends.</div></div> I said it multiple times with each iteration confirming for me its truth even further. I realized I'm the Devil. And I'm also God. Nothing in the external world had any intention of harming me until I assumed it did. I had fucking POWER at this point. I honestly felt like a God.
<br>
<br>
Despite the removal of all fear and negativity, the universe was not finished testing me. The Devil recognized a loss of power (I'm probably 95% Light, 5% Evil at this point) and wanted to confirm that I truly understood I was going to be okay. On the way back to the car, Tyler was guiding us and completely getting us lost (sometimes sober people have way worse directions than people tripping tbh). I viewed that as the Devil still trying to convince me I was stuck here forever, but I was stronger than that now. I took charge and forcefully and bluntly told Tyler we need to go to the left and we were going the wrong way (I had a STRONG feeling I knew where the car was and he was getting pissed off that we thought he couldn't get us there).
<br>
<br>
My suspicions were correct. We weren't stuck there and we did get to the car. But that slimy motherfucking snake (Mr Devil) still wanted to fuck around. As we drove out of the parking lot and headed home (45 min drive) I had the thought (virus) that what if I'm not out? What if they start driving around in the car forever? Literally as I think this my friends in the front seat start laughing hysterically. Straight up out nowhere. As they're doing this I hear them say things like 'yeah we can just drive around FOREVER hhahahahah'. Simultaneously, Tyler, who's driving says 'hey you wanna bet Carry On My Wayward Son is the next song on the radio?' He said it in a very sinister way. Keep in mind I had the only phone that wasn't dead and the dudes car had no aux. You already know the song fucking played next.
<br>
<br>
6b. The Purge
<br>
<br>
I'm honestly really fucking tired of writing this post so I'm gonna skip a lot more details (probs should have done that from the start). Basically, I still had the strength of knowledge that I fully going to be okay and I took charge of navigation and directed us home. As the devil was diminishing intensely, I quite literally threw up in the car (in a bag, I aint no rookie) and instantly felt like something horrifying had left my body. I was free. I have only read about this happening in a few trip reports so it's not exactly an essential physical stage.
<br>
<br>
7. Rebirth
<br>
<br>
Congratulations. If you're like me, you have wrestled with good and evil and come out with knowledge that will last many lifetimes. You've touched the divine and been allowed to remain and spread positivity and love. You may have some idea of your grand purpose and what it is you feel you were meant to do or something you were meant to change.
<br>
<br>
<!--BONUS: https://i.redd.it/4sohcowgn1h01.jpg
<br/>
I drew this on the comedown from the trip. It's essentially a map of what was happening in my brain at the time.
<br/>
<br/>
-->Thank you so much for reading my overly long tale of insanity!! I hope it brings you connection to your own experience or some sort of inspiration.
<br>
<br>
Much love to all.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111775</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 19, 2018</td><td>Views: 3,855</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111775&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111775&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Nature / Outdoors (23), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:05</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">70 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
At 10:50 took 1 blotter of acid. An hour later noticed patterns appearing on carpet. Happier and light is different. Pupils are contracting and dilating a lot. Decide to take another blotter. 5 minutes later decide to take two other blotters. Unlike some people I never regretted this rather impulsive decision. The hallucinations on the carpet intensify and the euphoria increases.
<br>
<br>
Light continues to change, having neon appearance. Slightly nausoeus/have mild indigestion symptons. Pupils very big even under bright light. Tracers appear and grow stronger. Haven't lost these tracers to this day, when I've been clean for days. Not complaining though, adds an iteresting effect to life.
<br>
<br>
Music sounds superb. It's like something muffling the muic when you're sober has been peeled away. Music is cleaer sounding, more fluid. Listen to Royksopp, Air, Orbital and FSOL, my favourite music for tripping. Light on people's faces is different. Strong closed eye visuals - a carnival of light. Mad creative thoughts. My emotional strings were never plucked like with shrooms once. I am happy throughout and never feel depressed.
<br>
<br>
Loud noises are irratating. Textures are different. Strange colours appear on peoples faces. The floor swirls like liquid, just like on Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. I'm content to relax for hours. Woodgrains look amazing - they flow like waterfalls. Looking at people skin, my eyesight is enhanced to the degree that I can clearly see every individual hair follicle on people's skin.
<br>
<br>
Symptons gradually fade. Patterns on walls and carpets remain for a log tome, the tracers even longer (still have them now as I write this report). I really enjoyed my trip on acid and wouldn't hesitate to do it again.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2004</td><td width="90">ExpID: 32243</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 19, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,026</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=32243&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=32243&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Unknown Context (20)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 bowls</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">100 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It was about 10 p.m when my cousin , sister, and myself put 2 hits of acid under our tounges. At this time , we didn't know what was going to happen.
<br>
<br>
Between 10:30 p.m. to 10:45 we all began to have the 'giggles' which in 10 minutes , our giggling started to echo. Visuals started to kick in when I looked over at the mural on my wall - a waterfall with many trees , rocks , ect.
<br>
<br>
11:30p.m. - All of us wanted to get out of the house ,the thing was, my mother was sleeping and we didnt want to get caught tripping on acid. We tryed to formulate a plan but our minds were blank , we would stand in a circle saying one thing and then totally forget what we were even talking about.
<br>
<br>
12:45a.m - After standing in a circle for an hour and 15 minutes we decided to just sit down and watch ' Alice in Wonderland '. When the movie started we paused it at the begining , when its a picture of the pond with ducks and flowers everywhere - and played some music. It was unbelivable. I love music when I am sober , but there is nothing like listening to it on LSD. I closed my eyes and it felt like I was standing front row at there concert , i could see the music playing in my head. I began to stand up and dance around.
<br>
<br>
1:30 a.m - Watched some of 'Alice in Wonderland' but could keep our minds focused on it. The rest of the movie played while we once again tryed to figure out how to get out of the house. I remember finally saying ' ok man look , it not like we havent ever snuck out of the house , we have over a 100 times , just remember we are on acid , we are retarted , but lets just go '
<br>
<br>
2:00 a.m - We got outside! Walking into the apartments across the street we heard screaming, but we ignored it for a while ( im not sure if there was really screaming going on) It got louder and we decided to just go back inside after all the hard work trying to get out.
<br>
<br>
3:00a.m - Smoked about 2 bowls to trip a bit harder - it worked. I played some more music and said ' im seeing music and hearing colors ' and that right there, is the perfect way you can describe it. The music played for a couple of hours and i never got tired of dancing
<br>
<br>
5:00 a.m. - Started to calm down a bit , relaxing , laying down, you know. I looked at the clock and it seemed to only be 30 minutes passing when it was really an hour and 20 minutes.
<br>
<br>
6:30 a.m. - I was sinking in to the bed , falling sound asleep<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 39412</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 19, 2018</td><td>Views: 799</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=39412&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=39412&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Music Discussion (22), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(extract)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">165 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
2 Tabs of LSD
<br>
<br>
This experience is about the time I took two tabs of LSD. This occured April 7, 2017. I feel like sharing my experience for some reason, it was both positive and negative. This was basically what I thought was the last time I was going to be able to hangout with a close friend before attending court for a drug possession with intent to distribute charge so my chances of being on probation was high but I got lucky. Anyways I needed to explain that because it affected my experience going in with that mindset. I planned the day before to hangout with my friend. I planned to buy and consume two tabs. The day came I rode the city bus to the friends residence. Purchased the two tabs and took them right there in friends room. He ended up being with his companion so friends companion was there. This may sound weird but within maybe 20-25 minutes of taking these tabs I started to feel the effects, I pulled my phone out and noticed how the icon apps on my phone screen seemed to be slowly moving I felt this energy.
<br>
<br>
We planned to take a walk to the nearby river. I went outside and felt different I felt this energy feeling, also before we left friends house I smoked some wax(dabs) out of friends vape. I was high on marijuana and acid. We began walking I felt definitely different small but noticable visuals. Best I can describe it is everything was sort of wavy. We planned to stop at the grocery store and on the way there we came across a camera bag sitting at the bus stop and inside was heroin inside of a syringe, friend threw the bag in trash we proceeded to the grocery store because friend wanted to wash his hands after touching that bag. We eventually got inside the grocery store and the effects grew stronger I felt out of it. Visuals were increasing inside this store I could see the glare off the floor from the lights above moving I didn't feel comfortable inside the store but we ended up walking around inside the store looking for drinks and snacks for the trip to the river.
<br>
<br>
We finally left and proceeded to the river and I felt great just this body high that felt like energy we crossed the bridge over the river and stopped half way on the bridge to look at the water below us and this water looked honestly crazy it looked like the water was morphing into itself I was excited to walk down below into the trees where there are trails you can walk into. We walked down into the trees and now my visuals are at an all time high everything was moving. I could see the trail of my cigarette when I flicked it. I tried to look at my phone screen and it was all over the place the numbers of the time on my home screen were bending so crazy. Being surrounded by trees and nature was beautiful. The trees and plants were bending. The floor was moving. The still water in this puddle were moving. I sat down under a tree and just enjoyed the moment with my eyes closed and my closed eyed visuals were very strong. I had tunnel vision with my eyes closed. I felt like my head was a dark arena with this show of unexplainable designs. I can't explain it very well.
<br>
<br>
The word Kaleidoscope is the only was I can explain what I was seeing with my eyes closed, I was seeing perfect colors and shapes. We then decided to walk towards the river and it was surreal what it looked like the water looked like it was flowing in all directions the sunset behind it made it look even more crazy. This is where my trip began to get dark. I noticed my friends companion looking restless in a way like she wanted to be with my friend alone, I just got this vibe from her and it made me feel weird. We decided to walk back into society and I kept noticing her emotions that she maybe felt like I was a burden and wanted to be alone with my friend and it made me feel unwanted to be around them. I kept manifesting on this thought and it was making my trip difficult. The acid by now made me feel weird like I wanted to get away from them I just stayed quite following them. We stopped at friends highschool and sat at the grass field I remember looking at the field and it seemed like the entire field was waving like water. I still had crazy close eyed visuals. I had these dark thoughts of feeling unwanted by the people around me I tried to use my phone to arrange a Uber but I couldn't understand how to use my phone and this was really frustrating. Finally I just told my friend I wanted to leave and I felt really uneasy by this I wanted to hangout with my friend because I thought this might be the last time for a few months I'd see him. We started walking back to his house where I finally managed to arrange a Uber. I stayed quite still and my phone notified me my ride was here and I just got up and left without saying a word I had this feeling that I wanted to get away from them. My friend came to me and asked if I was alright I said yeah and left in the Uber tripping hard. I couldn't really talk and respond to the question the Uber driver asked me. I was thinking about to many things at once I opened my phone to text my friend to explain why I acted in such a way but I couldn't understand how to use my phone so I gave up on that. Sitting in this Uber I kept spacing out lost in my thoughts and emotions. I felt really out of it I noticed I kept moving around in the back seat and had this weird thought that maybe the Uber driver felt uncomfortable about how I was acting. I tried to sit still and act normal thinking about my every move to make sure I wasn't doing anything weird. I tried to untangle my headphones and failed at that I just couldn't I forget how to use my hands my coordination was all over the place haha. I looked out the window and felt like the driver missed my street and this freaked me out I had this weird thought that he was gonna drive me to the police station because of how odd I was acting. Finally I remembered where I was and we were coming up on my street. Finally I got home and went inside I remember how weird it was trying to open my door with my keys.
<br>
<br>
I went into my room and kicked my shoes off, took my pants off, laid in my bed and threw the blankets over. My mother was staying with me and I honestly forgot she was and I realized I'm on acid and I came inside without texting her I was coming back or anything and I was like fuck I'm tripping to hard to explain myself I started to panic because of this thought and realized how my clothes looked when I got into my room it looked odd my pants and shoes on the floor just messy it looked like so I got up and tried to clean but for some reason I put my clothes in weird spots around my room and when I realized that I panicked some more. Trying to clean on acid is hard haha. I laid back down and my trip felt stronger. I felt this overwhelming panic that my mom was gonna come into my room and I'd have to explain myself. I felt insane. I kept hearing inside my head these loud and different frequencies of vibrations. I thought I was having a bad trip. I tried to take deep breaths and that helped in a way. I tried to look for my phone in the dark and couldn't this made me feel uneasy. I finally found it and looked at my bed and noticed how tangled I was in my blankets. By this time I felt the panic come back because of the thought that my mother would walk into my room and see me losing my mind. I took more deep breaths and calmed down. Just got on my phone and began messaging my friend about the difficulty I was having and then finally the panic feeling went away and I got up to tell my mom I was back and she didn't care. This made me feel better I went back into my room got on my phone and listened to music for the next hours until the acid finally wore off. This was my trip on 2 tabs.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2017</td><td width="90">ExpID: 110330</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 20, 2018</td><td>Views: 673</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=110330&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=110330&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Hard</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">118 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
At this point in my life I wasn’t an avid drug user, and still to this day I am not. Introduced to acid by two close friends, my friend, L I will call her, and I decided to buy two 100 micrograms tabs of LSD from a kid in the neighborhood. The exact date I remember was May 2, 2017, and the first time we had tried drugs was April 14, 2017. L and I went from a day experience with marijuana to trying a decently intense psychedelic drug.
<br>
<br>
My parents left for a trip to Mexico, and I was staying at L’s home for the days they were gone. It was May 2nd, a Tuesday night, also a school night. At nearly 7:00pm, the idea popped into my mind, “What if we try the tabs which have been sitting in L’s cabinet for over a week?” I voiced this, and she agreed. We were both extremely nervous for we had no idea what was to come. Her parents were gone for her sisters ring ceremony and would be home late at night. We went downstairs, and with the freedom of being home alone, L grabbed the Malibu and we mixed it with cola to calm our nerves. Once it was gone, we retreated back to her bedroom and grabbed the tabs, one for each of us.
<br>
<br>
We stuck the tiny blue squares on our tongues, and let time pass as we let the tabs slowly dissolve. LSD takes around 45 minutes to kick in so we spent the time just on our phones, and we FaceTimed our boyfriends at the time who were also very close. Then I felt it, the first effect of my trip, my jaw felt tight. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Then I felt it, the first effect of my trip, my jaw felt tight.</div></div> I related this to L, who said she was not feeling anything yet. I began to walk around her room uncontrollably laughing at everything, and I sat in the corner next to the door. The floor felt unusually hard but I felt at one with it, as with everything else I touched. We both got to the point where we were most definitely under the influence. I was mindless and uncontrollable, but she was anxious and careful.
<br>
<br>
I felt the sudden urge to go outside, not just a small urge but I felt that if I didn’t go outside I would simply explode or die on the spot. She blocked the door to keep me from running out, but as soon as she left it I sprinted out her bedroom to the backyard. It was the most bizarre experience I have had in my lifetime by far. The air seemed non-existent. My skin could feel nothing around me. I could see only what was around me, but the rest of the world to my senses was simply void. L grabbed my arm and coaxed me inside. I resisted her, not because I wanted to stay outside, but because I didn’t want to be controlled. We reached the point where we were at the bottom of the stairs, and she was holding onto my hair attempting to drag me up. I screamed at her to let go, but she didn’t know how to. For a moment she had lost control of her feeling and sense of movement. I felt a wave of emotion and wanted to cry, but my body couldn’t figure out how to cry. Within seconds she let go and we made our way back to the bedroom.
<br>
<br>
That was the moment we realized her mother would be arriving home any second. We panicked, because we knew we were too far gone to have a casual conversation, or seem normal for a couple of minutes. I tried to hop in the shower, but I couldn’t figure out how to work the knobs. I sat down in cold water, for what seemed like 3 seconds before I gave up and got out. I put my clothes back on without brushing my mangled hair. L thrust out her arm with a clean shirt, and was deeply convinced if her mom saw the wet marks on my shirt, we would get caught. I denied and convinced her it was alright. Every second it seemed I would ask L to check her phone to see where her mom was at. The last time I asked, her mom had arrived. I walked over to the window and peeked out to see a disoriented view of a suburban right next to the car port. The few seconds seemed like hours. I turned to L and tried to figure out what normal teenagers did at 9pm, but we didn’t know because time didn’t make any sense to us. She asked her boyfriend at the time what we should do and he just said “turn on Netflix or something”. Every activity seemed “suspicious” and we had no idea what to do.
<br>
<br>
I sat on her bed and pulled out my Chemistry homework, and attempted to complete that. The memory at this point is blotched so I cannot recall the exact detail of what happened. What I can remember next is standing in the doorway of her bathroom as her mom walked in. We tried to hold a decent conversation about the ring ceremony, but we were obviously out of it. She says, “Are y’all doing something you’re not supposed to?” Her voice still rings in my head today at a slower tone than normal, for it was mutated by the LSD. L says, “no, it’s just really hot in here.” Even though I was mentally gone I was thinking what a dumb answer that was yet I know I couldn’t say anything better. She felt our foreheads to check for fever. The next moment I was in the other corner of the room, as L’s Mom told her to take off her socks. She asked if we had gone anywhere, to which we responded “no”. Still not completely sure why her socks had to be removed, but we think it is because the grass from the backyard was on her socks. The next thing I know she was no longer in the room.
<br>
<br>
I panicked. L and I both have anxiety and so for the next hour we repeatedly had anxiety attacks. I recall texting my boyfriend over and over, “she knows”. These words today still give me a small bit of anxiety, for I remember my emotional state at that point. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I recall texting my boyfriend over and over, “she knows”. These words today still give me a small bit of anxiety, for I remember my emotional state at that point.</div></div> We were eventually calmed down and just laid in her bed silent. At one point we just turned to each other with the attitude of, “what the fuck just happened?” We spent the next two hours recalling everything that had just happened. We were still very high, but the climax was over and we were able to express our feelings. We told the stories from a few hours ago as if they had happened years ago. Every minute we would remember a small detail that had blanked from our memory.
<br>
<br>
We had a momentary speck of a good time after this. I sat in her bathroom for minutes staring at my reflection. My face seemed long and slender, and my acne seemed to be non-existence for my face looked melted. My skin looked like plastic and my body did not appear to be real. I took pictures of my face and laughed saying I looked like a “melting max bird”. I looked at the pictures a few days later and though nothing seemed to be different with my face, for some reason I just looked completely fucked up. I genuinely had fun, we sat doing nothing on our phones, but nothing mattered for the moment. It came to the point where we decided since we had school tomorrow it was best to go to sleep.
<br>
<br>
This is the part where I can best describe the feeling of LSD, for everything was quiet expect my senses. She slept with a noise maker on, which was put on the setting of white noise. I wanted it to be turned off so badly for the sound was so magnified it hurt, but I wanted for her to sleep. I tossed and turned in her bed, again I felt melted. Every time my body would touch hers we blended together. Every time I turned in the bed the side of my body became one with the bed. I could not feel a thing, for I was one with everything around me. All of my senses felt magnified. I couldn’t feel pain. I got so close to cutting myself just to see what it was like, but the rational part of me that was left kept me from doing it. I found myself angry with the world, my senses were so intense all I wanted to do was go back to normal, but I couldn’t. I just laid down for hours waiting for the morning to come.
<br>
<br>
Her alarm went off, and we got out of bed. Somehow I was still high, but barely. I took an actual shower where I was sane enough to cleanse myself. We went downstairs to eat breakfast. Neither of us could taste the food for apparently the acid altered our taste buds as well. We waited for her mother to ask us what had happened last night, but the conversation never came. I walked into school, and I felt like I ghost. The girl with the locker next to me tried to speak to me but with the commotion in the hallway taking my mind I couldn’t understand a word she said. In my first period class the girl next to me tried to get me to fix her calculator, but I just looked at it and handed it back because my mind couldn’t comprehend it. The next period I looked at the Chemistry homework I tried to do and was impressed on how I actually did it, but my handwriting was so big and sloppy and out of the ordinary. Throughout the day I went on and off with feelings of my body being completely lost.
<br>
<br>
It was the most awful and exciting experience in my entire life, and I’m just now getting to the point, after 9 months, where I feel like I could do it again.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2017</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111729</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 14</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 26, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,109</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111729&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111729&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Alcohol - Hard (198) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">160 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
LSD Changed My Life
<br>
<br>
My first time taking LSD doses<!--, I believe were 10mg each (I am not certain)--> was a magical experience I feel the whole world should be able to experience.
<br>
<br>
First off, I have to describe my background and where I am in life so you all understand the context of my report. Since I graduated high school, I served in the air force for nearly a decade so by the time I was 27, I never have smoked weed, or have done any hard substances that could give me such a psychedelic effect.
<br>
<br>
My friend, whose in a band I became close with is a major hippy and loves LSD, so naturally he describes its effects and what its like, and convinces me I should try it. Long story short, I meet up with some of his friends or (the clan) in the woods, in the middle of nowhere and we dose out in the piece of land.
<br>
<br>
What I am about to describe is the point in time I took the LSD, and the point in time I slept the next day. The first 45 minutes I did not feel any effects, which I attributed to the fact that I regularly take ambien<!--, and when you break ambien and LSD down to their chemical formulas, they are almost the same formula-->. So I took the other dose. 10 minutes after taking the other dose was when I noticed my mouth becoming really tingly, and metallic tasting. I started thinking to myself, wow something's going on here, it must be kicking in finally. Members of the clan I was with, were asking me if I'm feeling it yet, and at this point I did not know.
<br>
<br>
About 20 minutes later we were sitting around the bonfire, and that is when I felt a rush of a vibration sensation encompass my whole body, and I just felt like I had to get out of my chair, and dance to the music that was playing. I danced, and danced, and danced. Mostly using forms of my Katas I'm using in the style of the martial arts I'm training. The strange thing was, is I was even doing advanced katas that I saw based on viewing the advanced students while listening to everything from techno- ting tings.
<br>
<br>
After that rush of energy passed, and I started pondering life, I noticed my astigmatism became clear HD hypervision <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I noticed my astigmatism became clear HD hypervision</div></div>, and the shadows of the forest trees against the night sky became very prominent in my parameters of view. I watched as the shadows of the treelines started shaping and morphing into giant digimon pocketmonsters most notably in the shape of Agumon, and I was enchanted with the shadows for nearly half an hour. Not only did my visual senses heightened, my sense of smell Hyper heightened, and I was able to smell the beach, which was about 20-25 mls away. My skin is covered in colorful tattoos, and I noticed as I was looking into the darkness my tattoos were coming to life. The stories they're depicting were actually being acted out, and I imagined that they were doing this because the inspiration I have for my designs came from dreams I had, and I was reliving these dreams in this moment of clarity. I was seeing faces in the trees that were surrounding us, and they were smiling, like they were glad to be a part of our experience. I know that basically is pareidolia, but it was a heightened sense of clarity that I was experiencing. At one point, I literally was holding a conversation with the tree about where life came from, what his view points were on existence and what I should do moving on from here, and the biggest thing the tree told me, was that I needed to write all this down, and share the world with what I just experienced. After the tree experience, I got so disoriented, I did not realize I walked as far as I did from base camp, and I realized I couldn't discern what was west, north, east, or south. Also I did not wear my watch so I did not know what time it was and I had not known how many minutes passed since I dosed and started feeling it.
<br>
<br>
By the end of that sequence of events, and finding my friends again who were all huddled around the fire. We all were pondering over what I experienced with the trees because they figured there was an important message that was being broadcast through me. We spent the next hour talking about that message, and the direct message was if we don't fuck w/ nature, nature won't fuck with us. Plain and simple.
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<br>
When the party died out I was still high. I ended up going to my sleeping bag which was on the ground, and I said out loud, I recognize I am in your space, but I am asking you if I can occupy it for a little while longer so I had no issues with bugs, or spiders or any creepy things that might be lurking around the woods with us. For me, though, there were some noises hovering around me of footsteps and whispers in the wind that were not threatening by any means. As matter of fact, those whispers really let me fall asleep for a few hours.
<br>
<br>
When I woke up, I knew I was still high but this time I was day high, and this was where I was seeing the red filter that I hear about so much in culture. My fingers were leaving trails. The most fun part of the whole experience was, there was a point when I was imitating Bach by directing a choir of nature calls from different birds and squirrels and other animals. I felt like I was in sync with nature, and it to me sounded like a masterpiece.
<br>
<br>
After those shenanigans, I decided it was time to pack it up and head home so we cleaned up everything around the site, and I went back to my house, laid in bed, still coming down from the climax of the night. I was in my own bed, still hearing those footsteps I heard out in the woods. Again it wasn't threatening, It was a very happy moment, like these beings or whatever that were watching us party that night, they were really happy to have met, and crossed paths in life.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111848</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 29</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 30, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,205</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111848&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111848&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Nature / Outdoors (23), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:40</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 4:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/meth/">Methamphetamine</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This trip does not consist of crazy visuals like monsters or whatnot. It is an example of just how real and frightening an acid trip can become.
<br>
<br>
I was 18 and had gotten ahold of 10 tabs for pretty cheap but trust me when I knew they were good quality (the dealer had a very good rep already, known for giving good deals). I had done acid once, months before, I took <!--150ug (1.5 tabs)--> 1.5 tabs and felt virtually nothing. I’m pretty sure anything I even thought I felt or saw was placebo. I knew I got ripped off so I was looking forward to trying these new tabs.
<br>
<br>
I originally planned on doing one <!--100ug--> tab by myself on a Friday night in my room. But on Thursday my friend (16 years old) ended up staying the night and I suggested we do some together. We decided we would each take 2 tabs.
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<br>
Once we were ready, at 8pm we dropped our tabs. For some reason however 40 minutes later, we thought it would be a wonderful idea to drop one more. Don’t ask me why—terrible decision.
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<br>
At around 9:15 or so walls started slightly moving but I was really enjoying it. Slowly, colors became more vibrant and then by 10pm I was completely color tripping, and EVERYTHING was hilarious. Complete sensory overload, visually and auditory as well, but it was enjoyable. We were dancing and laughing and having a really good time. I looked in the mirror and I could literally watch my face age. Like I watched it grow wrinkles and change shape, it was crazy to watch and I was a little grossed out seeing my old self but I wasn’t scared at all, I thought it was cool.
<br>
<br>
This is where Time starts to get a little blurry. It was super hard to keep track of—sometimes 2 minutes would go by and it would feel like an hour, other times an hour would go by in what seemed like a minute. This is when my psychotic stage started to begin.
<br>
<br>
My friend and I started questioning everything from the government to social media to conspiracies. We were convinced we had been coming up with revelations and had to tell the rest of the world. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">We were convinced we had been coming up with revelations and had to tell the rest of the world.</div></div> I wrote down notes warning my sober self of the government and FaceTimed my friends trying to explain that I was telling the truth. Over time, I started to doubt everything, including reality. I had a constant feeling of forgetting what I was just about to say or do. It felt like I was repeating myself, like time was moving backwards then forwards then backwards again. For example, at one point I picked up a lighter to play with then when I set it back down it felt like I was going backwards in time—rather than simply setting it down in the future, if that makes sense.
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<br>
At what I guess was around 11 or 12pm I convinced myself I was in a game and that I was in control of everything, and that nothing I said or did would have an actual effect in real life once I was sober. My friend was FaceTiming a guy and I was sure he was just “part of the game” and that I could say whatever I wanted to him. Looking back I was pretty rude but I thought it didn’t matter because nothing was actually real to me. I also ended up texting and calling my ex boyfriend of one YEAR. Embarrassing, right? I thought it would be funny to talk to him since in my mind I wasn’t REALLY talking to him. Even when he answered the phone and I abruptly hung up, I was still convinced it wasn’t actually him that answered and that it was still part of the game.
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<br>
I also started thinking about what it would be like waking up the next day and realized I literally couldn’t remember what being sober felt like. Like, I couldn’t comprehend what the word sober WAS. I felt trapped in this new state of mind.
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<br>
At some point probably around 12:30 my friend remembered that I owned a meth pipe and suggested we dry hit the remains of the last time I used it. Don’t ask why we thought that was a good idea but yeah, I literally took hits off old brown solidified meth. I’m not sure if that’s what led to the paranoia that eventually set in.
<br>
<br>
I was scared and had overwhelming anxiety. At this point it was around 1:30am and I was super tired and wanted to sleep. But I couldn’t for the life of me. You know that feeling when you’re really tired in bed but just can’t find the right position to fall asleep? That was me, except every time I laid there for more than 5 minutes I was convinced I had to go do some task in order to fall asleep. It started out with normal ish things like taking off my pajama pants because I was burning hot. (WARNING: gross and explicit content ahead) But when that didn’t work I, and don’t ask why, I decided I should take my tampon out. I bled all over my bed but didn’t seem to care. I was sure the blood was part of my imagination and that I could simply wish it away. I continued to take all my clothes off and became really horny. I’m straight but I thought it would be a great idea to call for my friend in the other room to come in. I don’t know what I was hoping for but thank god she was too tired to, otherwise that would have resulted in a really awkward next day. I pursued to masturbate all the while blood was getting everywhere but I didn’t care at all. I became really frustrated though because I tried to “command” the mess to disappear but of course it didn’t.
<br>
<br>
I remembered that I had a Xanax bar in my room but couldn’t find it no matter how hard I tried. I was convinced it simply disappeared on its own and became extremely frustrated and even more anxious because I couldn’t even find medicine to calm me down. So I went to take a shower. I felt good and clean after that and got in bed with my friend because that room was cooler. I thought I finally could fall asleep but I suddenly became burning hot again and couldn’t find a comfortable position. So I thought I would just watch recipe videos on my phone. But literally nothing the chefs were saying made sense to me. It was as if they were uttering complete gibberish. Like the words sounded insane to me. I thought that the internet world had gone crazy and that I was the only sane person left. I turned to my friend and asked her if she was experiencing the same things as me, but she was so tired and out of it all she could reply was “mhmm” or “yeah”. I began to think she wasn’t real either and that she had become a part of the trip. In a panic, I googled things such as “how to stop a bad trip.” The main thing that came up told me to remember that it isn’t real, but I was so delusional that I thought the government had put that online to make me think the trip would end when it really wasn’t going to. I was so excruciatingly frustrated about not being able to sleep that I began to contemplate calling 911 or calling my parents (both of which would have resulted in my life being absolutely ruined, given my parents are adamant on their stance on drugs since I had been caught abusing in the past). My friend told me it wouldn’t be a good idea and that everything would be fine in the morning. For some reason I was convinced that the trip would never end though. I thought that taking acid had put me into this permanent state of delusion. I started to contemplate suicide as the only way out. Like that was literally reasonable to me.
<br>
<br>
Eventually around what I assume was 4am I fell asleep. I don’t remember falling asleep but when I woke up (past my alarm and missing school) I was so shocked to see that I had survived, that the trip ended. I sat in bed in awe that there was blood all over my bed and that it was actually real. In the end I wrote this to show just how frightening an acid trip (especially taking such a large dose for my first time) can become. I hope I was able to get my point across about the level of fear and paranoia I experienced.
<br>
<br>
Afterwards, the comedown was just terrible. I was extremely depressed and anxious and had my first ever panic attack. I almost considered checking myself into a hospital so someone could calm me down but thankfully a different friend was able to meet me and talk me through things. This trip scarred me, so I’m not sure if I’ll ever try acid again. It was the first drug I ever tried that I couldn’t act sober on and where I couldn’t differentiate tripping from reality. I thought I could handle any drug, but acid is a different beast.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111870</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 7, 2018</td><td>Views: 899</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111870&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111870&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Hangover / Days After (46), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1200 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">1P-LSD</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">240 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<span class="erowid-note">[Erowid Note:
Claims of measured microgram dosages for LSD are usually unsupported. Quantitative measurements for LSD are very difficult to do and cannot be done casually. Without further detailed information about how the measurements were derived, it is reasonable to assume that most statements of microgram dosages of LSD on blotter or in microdots are either misinformed or overstated.]</span>
<br>
<br>
<!--I do not wish to encourage or discourage the use of LSD and other psyechedelic drugs, however I do highly encourage that you listen to the advice that all psychonauts seem to agree on which is the quote by Timothy Leery, 'set and setting'. If used properly these molecules have potential to some very powerful insight. Now, into my story.
<br/>
<br/>
-->After a long day at work, I drove over to a friend's apartment where two of my friends lived. My best friend was the only other person at the apartment with us. I brought with me 1500 micrograms of LSD and gave my friends 100 micrograms each leaving me with 1200. I also had about a half ounce of cannabis that we smoked a decent amount of during the come up.
<br>
<br>
I noticed I had tracers only 10-15 minutes after dosing which was very unusual. It typically was 45 minutes to an hour before I had anything that noticeable. I really don't remember much after noticing that until some time later. I don't know why I had this gap of memory during the comeup.
<br>
<br>
Within what I'm told was no more than an hour I no longer could remember what was happening or what drug I had taken. My best friend ceased to exist and soon so did I. I devolved into a black screen with green lines of text relaying the conversation I was having, making my thoughts, my voice, and my friend's voice indistinguishable. We were 2 bodies controlled by 1 consciousness. In such a state of confusion, I no longer was enjoying myself. I began grasping my chest and gasping for air, and feeling intense pain throughout my body, particularly my arms. Briefly flashing back into this reality, I began asking what I had taken and how much and was certain despite knowing that you cannot die from LSD that I had taken too much and was going to die. I imagine a lot of this came from not dealing with the emotions of overdosing on fentanyl shortly before this trip (maybe a week to a month prior, that's a blurry time from my life to try and remember). I begged to be taken to a hospital.
<br>
<br>
At this point my friend and I had been getting too loud in our two other friends' apartment so we were sitting in my car in the parking lot. My friend started looking for my car keys to take me to the hospital and ended up leaving me in the car to go in the apartment to retrieve them. He came back out to the car asking me where my keys were (he says he was gone for less than a minute, but to me I was alone in the car for an endless amount of time. It's hard to put a time frame on how long it seemed like as time basically lost meaning by this point) while our other friend followed behind and began yelling to 'get him out of here! He's obvious I don't want to get arrested over him!' I perceived her to have a knife and want to kill me so I took off running, arms flailing in the air, screeching at the top of my lungs 'help! Help! Somebody! I think I'm going to die!' My friend had warrants at the time and did not chase after me, fearing that my screaming in an apartment complex in the early hours of the morning would bring police to the situation. I kept running then would collapse on the street or on the grass and at one point on a bush, flashing to scenic trips in a completely different reality. I kept dying over and over in different horrible ways.
<br>
<br>
Running and stumbling alone I realized I had a phone in my pocket. I couldn't remember my phone password so I swiped to open the 'emergency call' screen. I dialed 911.
<br>
'911 what's your emergency?'
<br>
'I'm going to die!'
<br>
'Okay, what's going on?'
<br>
'I don't know!'
<br>
'Okay, why do you think you're dying?'
<br>
'I'm on drugs I think I took too much'
<br>
'Okay what did you take?'
<br>
'I don't know!'
<br>
'Okay, can you tell me where you are?'
<br>
'I don't know!'
<br>
'Okay what do you see?'
<br>
'Uhh there's a lot of cars'
<br>
'Are you in a parking lot?'
<br>
'No there's tall buildings all around me'
<br>
'Are you in an apartment complex?'
<br>
<br>
I look around in a state of panic and try to hang up the phone. It's locked up in emergency mode so I can't hang up. I get the 'they know where I am' paranoid feeling, look around and yell 'oh shit!' Throw my phone as hard as I can on the concrete and watch it shatter. I ran away as fast as I could yelling things like 'fuck you!' I have no idea how long this ordeal lasted since time had no meaning to me any more, but soon enough a police car pulled in to the complex and probably didn't have much trouble finding me since I was yelling at the top of my lungs. I was ecstatic that a figure of authority had arrived and ran out in the street waving my arms yelling at the police car 'I'm here, I'm here, thank God you're here!' The two officers stepped out of the car and asked what was going on. I made absolutely no sense and was probably pretty obviously in a psychedelic trip if they knew how to recognize that. I was flashing in and out of this reality into scenic trips again, many of which portrayed the officers as wanting to hurt me and/ or violate me despite the fact that they actually did a pretty good job of not being threatening to me. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I was flashing in and out of this reality into scenic trips again, many of which portrayed the officers as wanting to hurt me and/ or violate me despite the fact that they actually did a pretty good job of not being threatening to me.</div></div> In fact I remember asking at one point when I had no clue what was happening and no memory from anything before that moment 'am I a threat to anyone? Have I hurt anyone? I'm so scared I don't want to hurt anybody'. He was saying things like 'I don't know, but help is coming okay?'. I asked for today's date and when he told me I realized that no longer had any meaning to me other than knowing that it was a date. I asked him how old I was and he told me 'I don't know, you're asking me.'
<br>
<br>
'Well how old do I look?'
<br>
'I don't know'
<br>
'Can I look in the side mirror on your car to see what I look like?'
<br>
'Please don't get close to my car'
<br>
<br>
A lot of this nonsense went on but eventually I would flash into another scenic trip with some perceived threat and run away. I kept running from them and then giving myself back up out of desperation for help. Eventually an ambulance got there and a paramedic approached me. I leaned back and lunged my whole body into the hardest punch I could throw, right into the side of his head. He swung backwards and hit the side of the ambulance. I took off running as fast as I could and one of the officers yelled 'Oh hell no' and this time they all chased me. I pulled my shirt off and realized I was pissing myself, so I dropped my pants as well. I was then tackled on the street butt naked. I fought back as hard as I could but eventually I was knocked out. I never really fell asleep per se but I lost speech and motor skills. I flew out of my body and into the worst hell I couldn't have imagined 30 seconds prior to being there. There was an incredible sense of loneliness and intense pain there. I was in a small, dark area with a burning ball before me. I intuitively understood that the ball was the 'core of my being' and was burning out. The goal in this place was to be able to die so I could stop suffering, but in order to do so I had to watch each piece of myself be torn away and float off into the darkness. All of my memories, my desires, my goals, I watched it all be thrown away as the ball burned smaller and smaller until it finally burned out.
<br>
<br>
From there, most of what I experienced was sensory overload that I couldn't make sense of. All of my senses were taking in way too much data to form anything that I could put into text. I assigned myself a name to feel better about not knowing who I was, so I called myself Bob. Bob was a horrible idiotic drug addict (I wasn't too far off from my real self in that guess) who didn't care enough to not push his own limits. I felt like a shell of a person that simply wanted drugs to feel whole. It was the most lonely feeling I've ever experienced. I didn't know what I looked like but I had a picture of my parents in my head and thought about how disappointed they must be in Bob. I came to in the hospital the next morning and couldn't remember what had happened or how I'd gotten there. It took 3 months to remember. I quit all drugs for that 3 months and ended up taking a few hits off someone's joint at a concert. When I took my seat after the intermission was over the memory all came back to me, and I shook physically out of terror until I went to bed that night.
<br>
<br>
I have not been the same person since I had that trip and in a lot of was it's for the better, but I have to live with the memory every day. There hasn't been an hour that goes by since that day that I'm not thinking about it, trying to process it and understand it. I developed HPPD and have had hallucinations persisting for just shy of a year now. Psychedelics are valuable tools when used properly, just remember it is possible to hurt yourself with a hammer.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2017</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111865</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 8, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,727</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111865&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111865&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), HPPD / Lasting Visuals (40), Post Trip Problems (8), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Bad Trips (6)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1.66 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">138 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">165 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I got MDMA a few weeks ago from a good friend of mine and had been wanting to try this chemical for quite some time. I was extremely excited to try it and was waiting for the right time. However I did not choose the right time. What followed was possibly the worst trip of my life.
<br>
<br>
Before dosing:
<br>
Before I dosed I went over to my friend that I mentioned before to smoke, while I was there I did two dabs, ate a 100mg edible, took a bunch of bong rips and smoked a few joints with her. I was considering just dropping acid that night, but I was in a great mood and wanted to Candyflip. So when I got home I weighed out my dose of MDMA (138mg) and dropped a tab and two-thirds (150ug blotters) and waited patiently for a short while before I dosed my MDMA.
<br>
<br>
I was having the time of my life on the acid, the acid alone was a lovely trip, all the cannabis from earlier really helped with the come-up and made the trip have a little more of a push in the right direction it felt. From the start I felt like this would be a top five experience for sure.
<br>
<br>
Forty-five minutes after I dosed the L, I dropped my dose of MDMA and awaited the onset. At first I felt like I was floating and was very smiley and giddy. I was loving it, then I suddenly rocketed into space and it suddenly became too much, all I can think was 'oh shit I took too much, this isn't fun anymore' but there would be brief moments where it felt like the best thing in the world and right back to fear.
<br>
<br>
One song by sevenlions had me feel like I would rise to the top of a skyscraper and then drop hard with the bass and it was just too much for me to take in. I freaked. I hopped to the next song by him and it made me feel alone and afraid, all I wanted at that moment was someone physically there with me <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">all I wanted at that moment was someone physically there with me</div></div>, to hold me and tell me it'd be okay. I had never felt so alone at that point.
<br>
<br>
I changed the song and started to play some Grateful Dead, which at that point I calmed down for a bit and started to think. I think shooting into space sort of chilled out, however when I started thinking I started hurting. Within a few minutes I was texting my friend, thinking he was my mom and telling him how much I love her, telling him my decisions behind choices.
<br>
<br>
The next thing I know, I think I'm having a seizure and I throw up. I rush outside and run down the street in my boxers after a car screaming to help me, ran back inside and called 911 and said I was having a seizure. In reality I never did. The cops come and I think I'm somehow in a coma and the cops are really my mom and dad, I tell them what I took, ambulance comes and takes me to the hospital. The entire ambulance ride was 'how much longer until we're at the hospital' every two seconds.
<br>
<br>
I get to the hospital and keep asking when to see the doctors, then curse out the nurses and flip them off. The doctor asks if I've had seizures in the past, told him about the one on shrooms and he was puzzled by that (as was I and everyone else I know, especially because I had eaten them a few times before I had a seizure on them) and he gets me an IV put in.
<br>
<br>
What I found out the next day when I got home:
<br>
I pissed on a nurse, cursed the nurses out multiple times, and my nurse stayed in my room with me for hours making sure I was fine. Apparently the nurse that had been there the entire time was the only one that could calm me down. When I saw the sheet of medication that was given to me the next day I really don't know why they gave me what they gave me:
<br>
100mg Ketamine IV, 100mg DPH IV, 2mg Lorazepam IV, 2mg Midazolam IV.
<br>
<br>
I really just can't understand the Ket honestly.
<br>
<br>
But overall it was too much. I'm still trying to figure out what could have happened that caused me to think I had a seizure. I'd love to try MDMA another time, but honestly I may just pass out of fear.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2015</td><td width="90">ExpID: 107011</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 19</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 23, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,910</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=107011&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=107011&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), MDMA (3) : First Times (2), Combinations (3), Bad Trips (6), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/citalopram/">Pharms - Citalopram</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(daily)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Pharms - Ziprasidone</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(daily)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(tea)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/herbs/ginger/">Ginger</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(tea)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gel tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It was two days after a freezing Christmas. My partner - let’s call him “M”- and I had planned take a trip into the desert for months. This was our second attempt. The first attempt, his car broke down. We also planned to trip on one of our days.
<br>
<br>
We ended up driving two hours into the far end of desert on some rocky off-road. It was the furthest I've been from civilization. As an introvert, that felt amazing and was the perfect setting for what I would find out would be my most intense psychedelic experience yet.
<br>
<br>
I had stopped my prescription of Citalopram two nights before and my Ziprasidone one night before. I had about five hours of sleep over two nights. I also have to note that I have always been cursed with an overactive bladder.
<br>
<br>
I took one tab of gel LSD (dosage unknown but I knew from experience that it was strong) and about a gram of shrooms. All of that combined led me to have this crazy experience.
<br>
<br>
We arrived and began to setup our camp for the trip. We put down a table and fire pit. M lit some coals in the firepit as I had some mandarin oranges so I wouldn’t be so hungry. After he was done, he started to cut up the mushrooms. I started to boil water and soon we had two cups of peach-ginger flavored mushroom tea. I specifically picked out this tea to help with the impending nausea. I remember being very hesitant to drink it because the shrooms were still in rather large chunks, but it ended up not being too terrible.
<br>
<br>
We finished the tea, put the acid underneath our tongue, and took our seats next to the fire pit. M leaned his face close to the fire. He commented on how warm it was on his face. I admired how cute he was being, sat back, and closed my eyes. Eventually, I swallowed my tab because I kept losing track of it and I started to get anxious about it.
<br>
<br>
The come up was fast and strong. About 10 minutes in and I was experiencing what could be described as a mix between the closed-eyed visuals from LSD and the visuals from shrooms. There were giant, brightly colored, rainbow fractals and they swirled chaotically back and forth, into each other. I opened my eyes and looked at a gigantic mountain in the distance. Becoming quickly overwhelmed, I shut my eyes again. They fluttered with energy, so I closed them tighter.
<br>
<br>
Suddenly, I had an intense urge to pee. I quickly got up, squatted down near a bush, and expelled a fountain of urine. I would soon find out this would only be the start of my bladder effectively freaking out.
<br>
<br>
A couple of potty and nausea breaks later, we both got up to explore outside of our camp. We had picked a cliff-side and there was a riverbed full of thorny trees. I picked a toy out of my bag to take on our adventure. It was a white stick with a rainbow ribbon attached to the end. It fluttered beautifully in the wind. I remember looking closely at the fabric and admiring how the colors twinkled and swirled. M led the way into the desert and I stumbled after him, laughing hysterically, waving my toy in the wind. Suddenly, I had to pee again. I squatted where I was and let out another huge fountain of urine. When I finished, I had some trouble getting myself back together. M and I concluded that it wasn’t time for an adventure quite yet.
<br>
<br>
Little did we know, how true that was.
<br>
We made our way back to the car and M suggested making a bed inside of it. I peed again as he rearranged the camping gear and blankets in the backseat. It was then that I started to peak. It was the beginning of a rollercoaster ride.
<br>
<br>
When I peaked, I basically started seizing but I was coherent. I don't have any other way to describe it. M quickly ushered me into the car and held me in his lap. He spoke reassuring words as I twisted my neck furiously and passed my hands through my hair frantically, drooling slightly. What was going on…? M explained to me that I simply overwhelmed my brain with the substances I took and this was its way of dealing with it. I yelled out in terror. I sobbed as I twisted my body in his lap. He just held me and told me it was okay. That he would be there for me.
<br>
<br>
The urges to pee didn’t stop with my peaking. Every few minutes, I would stumble out of the car and squat to release my river of urine. This time, my squat was more primal. I pressed my hands into the sandy ground and screamed, like I was trying to communicate with hell. That was about where I was at that moment. I would climb back into the car, back into M’s lap, and continue my writhing. I remember calling out for him, telling him that I was sorry, and telling him how much I love him. Over and over again. I kept asking if he was okay and he was. I definitely was not.
<br>
<br>
Finally, it ended. That lasted about an hour. At the end my neck was super tweaked. M left me for a little bit to explore and I played with some apps on my phone. I remember drawing pictures for him on it. He came back and we tried to go down to the river bed. This is where my memory had gotten super fuzzy.
<br>
<br>
Now, I remember trying to climb down the cliff with M, but I kept yelling at him saying I was going to fall. I was laughing really hard too. He told me I threw a couple funny tantrums because I was so scared of go down with him. I reverted back into a toddler, basically. I remember sliding down the rocks on my butt. We get down to the river bed and there's bamboo. He leaves me to explore the bamboo forest and I remember screaming for help because my toy broke. He told me later he came crashing through, so worried, only to find out that it was because my toy had broken.
<br>
<br>
Okay, skipping a little forward, I have to note I had extreme memory loss. By the time we got back to our first camp, I didn't know where I was or who I was. M basically had to give me a rundown of who I was and what we just did. All I knew, somehow, that I was his beloved partner and he was mine.
<br>
<br>
Going back: We came back up the cliff and it was about time to go. M packed me into the passenger seat with a heavy blanket. This is where I had something that I could only describe as a out of body experience. I was really confused and when I would talk, it was like it wasn't me talking. I was watching myself out of my body, talk. This was about five or six hours into the trip. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I was watching myself out of my body, talk. This was about five or six hours into the trip.</div></div> So, we start driving back. We get lost and end up running into this couple in a jeep. We follow them for a time.
<br>
<br>
We finally get back to the visitor center and I throw up. Alot. I remember it not quite feeling like I threw up, so I looked to confirm. That's about when I started 'coming back into my body' and realizing just how confused I was. I tell M this and from then on I took solace in just listening to what he was telling me to do. I knew he would take care of me.
<br>
<br>
I remember getting to the tent and he asked me to take off his shoes. I don't know but it was just the right time when he asked. I found a lot of comfort doing something little to help him after a stressful day. Then we get into bed and I start the process of figuring out where I was, who I was, and what we just did.
<br>
<br>
I had some really vague recollections. M really helped me piece things together. I remember him joking that I was an alien who took over his girlfriend's body. I laughed and I remember wondering how I recognized his sense of humor and how it was so like mine.
<br>
<br>
So that was about it. He left to take a phone call and I tried to recollect on my own but I ended up getting tired and just wanting to sleep by the time he got back. When I woke up, I felt a lot better but I still needed help remembering some stuff. A couple days later and my memory returned, clearer. Overall, I wouldn’t classify this as a bad trip. But it was definitely a challenging, life-changing one and I learned a lot.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111488</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Not Specified</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 24</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 23, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,700</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111488&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111488&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Mushrooms (39), LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Health Problems (27), Nature / Outdoors (23), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">185 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This happened a little over 2 years ago. My first experience with LSD, but, to preface: I had been curious of trying LSD because of some very intense depressive and suicidal episodes that took place in late 2013 through the middle of 2014. I had gotten to the point where I was extremely suicidal and attempted to do the deed by means of overdosing on prescription painkillers. I remember the night of taking the painkillers, prior to that night I had experienced 3 days of very little sleep and sitting up all night listening to the same songs on repeat and staring at a wall, so the painkillers were almost a welcome change in scenery at the time. I took them and went to sleep, I woke up the next morning and was completely unsure of whether I was dead or alive, and rather uncaring I’d either. But, nonetheless I presumed I was alive still, and proceeded with my life.
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<br>
I spoke with a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with clinical depression. This led to heavy doses of anti-depressants being prescribed to me by a psychologist. The heaviest of which was 40mg of Escitalopram, and 450mg of Wellbutrin. I took this dosage for a single day, and have not touched anti-depressants since. That day I was convinced I was going to die, as it felt as though my face was melting and that my body was shutting down. This caused me to abruptly quit these medications and search out another method of attaining clarity in life. This led to a very deep interest in philosophy and psychology for me. I read countless books on the subjects and various “sub-genres” of the two main subjects. This led me to reading Alan Watts as well, and reading about his experience with LSD. This intrigued me, and I could not help but research more deeply on this very interesting substance. Needless to say, I spent the next 6-8 months researching it deeply. I read countless reports<!-- from people right here on this site-->, and reading the amazing experiences and realizations people have had made me more intrigued than ever to give it a shot. Maybe, just maybe, LSD would lead me to my answers for the questions that I had, even though I was unsure of what the questions were. This led me to talking around with my friends and as it would end up, my friend “Tom” was also interested in trying LSD. Tom knew a dealer who had some, so I payed Tom and he bought us both 1 tab. We planned to trip on Presidents Day, as we did not have school and Tom's parents were out of town for the week. As we both mentally prepared for the upcoming date, another of my very good friends, “Peter”, asked if he could join us in tripping. We responded with open arms, and Peter payed Tom to get him a tab.
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<br>
THE EXPERIENCE
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<br>
Presidents Day rolled around and me and Peter met at Toms house with Tom to begin our trip. We all walked into the kitchen and discussed the amount we would take. Tom decided to do a full tab, as it was his second time tripping and he felt comfortable doing so. Peter decided to do a third as it was his first time, and I also decided to do a third as it was my first time <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I also decided to do a third as it was my first time</div></div>. We all took our blotters and had a small toast to the upcoming experience.
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We all walked outside and sat down and patiently waited, Peter and I were somewhat giddy with anticipation as to the effects of the LSD. Tom was less giddy as he had already had a previous experience. After about 25 minutes, Peter and I were talking about any changes in our vision that we may have noticed or placebo’d ourselves into seeing. This did not consist of a whole lot, yet. We waited another 15 minutes, and proceeded to have another conversation. This time, speaking about how all of the trees outside suddenly looked outlined, as if they had a high resolution filter on them. They were unmistakably noticeable, as if they demanded that they be emphasized out of the rest of nature. We talked about these details and then decided to walk inside. We all went to Tom's room where Tom's girlfriend was, Tom began cuddling with her and was mostly focusing on her for the majority of the trip. Me and Peter moved to the hallway outside his room and gawked at a painted canvas hanging on the wall, this canvas had a sunset over a small island with a palm tree, the sunset reflected off of the water and made the ocean look beautiful in the picture. We marveled at these colors and then moved to sitting on the floor and watching the carpet move and breathe.
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It was not long after this that I decided to move outside again, I went outside and laid on the deck. I listened to the wind against the leaves of the trees and heard all of the tiny sounds coming from all parts of the nature that surrounded me. This was by far the most calming and absolutely gorgeous sound I had ever heard. I flipped onto my chest, as I was previously laying on my back, and saw a leaf lying on the deck. I stared at this leaf, and watched all of the tiny, intricate patterns in the leaf dance and breathe as if it was just as alive as I was. I absolutely marveled at these details and was astonished, at the fact that something so small and minute as a leaf, could have so much detail put into it. I continued to lay and stare at this leaf in awe as I pondered this question of detail in small forms. After about an hour of staring at this leaf and listening to the sounds of nature as it was living alongside me, I closed my eyes.
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When I closed my eyes, I suddenly saw a huge burst of color, and this burst of color then faded to a deep, and beautiful purple mixed with other colors that seemed to be in a transparent layer behind the purple. Barely visible, but visible nonetheless. Then, surrounding and inside of this purple hue that I was viewing with my eyes shut, I saw small white dots lighting up everywhere in random spots on the purple hue of color. This looked like what I would imagine the universe as looking like if I could clearly see it in the middle of the nothingness it engulfs. As the white dots appeared in this “universe”, I witnessed a tree growing out of nothing in the color and white lights that I was seeing. This tree continued to grow right in plain view of my mind, and I witnessed it growing from nothing, to being a mature tree, and then watching the leaves it grew ever so slowly, very slowly falling off the tree one by one. Till the tree was barren and empty. Then, I viewed its leaves regrowing and the cycle repeating itself. This cycle of this tree growing and dying and growing and dying continued on in my mind. I realized at that moment as it repeated itself. That human existence is no different than the tree and its leaves. We grow as people and expand ourselves, only to die in the end, only to rejoin the rest of the universe as one, as the leaf falls to the ground and decomposes to provide the soil with more nutrients that provide plants more fertile soil to grow in. Everything is an extension of another thing, and that continues until the last extension is a extension of one single thing. Everything.
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At the time I realized this in my trip, I smiled very wide and opened my eyes. A warm feeling unlike anything I’d ever felt coursed through my body. I felt so pure, and genuinely happy. I felt as though all of my questions were answered and that I could rejoin the universe and exist in harmony as I should have been doing all along. This truly felt like the first time I had ever felt genuinely happy, and to this day continues to be one of the most absolutely beautiful and defining moments of my entire life. I still tear up when thinking about it, as it is truly the one time in my life when I felt whole. I felt pure and I felt the clarity that I strive to attain in my life now. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I felt the clarity that I strive to attain in my life now.</div></div> It is beauty in and of itself that I wish I could hold onto. But, nonetheless, after I had this realization, I stood up. And just stared into the woods surrounding the majority of Tom's house. I smiled wide and full as I stared at the woods. I stood there like this, probably looking absolutely ridiculous. But feeling absolutely amazing, for quite a while. My friends then walked out and retrieved me from the deck and walked inside with me.
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We talked and shared our own individual experiences thus far, and Tom, being how he is, had convinced Peter to take the rest of his tab, and then tried to convince me to take the rest of mine. I knew that stacking trips was not smart, and didn’t want to come up as I was coming down or peak as I came down. So I refused Tom's attempt to make me take the rest, and in a last attempt, Tom tried to tell me how him and Peter were on a “whole other level” and how he wanted me to be there with them. I looked at Tom dead in the eyes and just stared at him. At the time I was thinking something along the lines of “why are you trying to get me to do something, when I clearly don’t want to. And have good reasons for not wanting to.” As I stood and stared, Tom gave up on trying me and returned to his room. I simply thought, “ you are doing this for the wrong reasons bro”. But I wouldn’t tell him, as I didn’t want to put a damper on his experience. I sat down on the couch in Tom's living room and looked at my phone, my cousin had texted asking if I wanted to hang. I said sure, and my cousin came and picked me up. At this point, I was feeling the come down pretty decent, so I knew I could converse normally and function properly. We went out and got a pizza, then returned to his house and watched some Top Gear. I came down completely after a few episodes of Top Gear and returned home later that evening.
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<br>
THE CONCLUSION
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I felt as though my first trip had taken an extremely thick fog that resides in my mind, and blew it clear away. And left me with no confusion or non awareness of the paths I could choose to follow in life, and it began the next step of my journey. Which is still continuing on, and I have a feeling it won’t end anytime soon. My first trip was the most loving, beautiful, and enchanting experience I have ever had the pleasure of living through. I very often sit and wonder if I will ever find my answers I search for, I think maybe I will one day. But I think deep down I know, that truly, I won’t find them in my own life. Initially this may seem disheartening, but my friends, please, if you take anything from this, take and remember this one piece of advice.
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Often times, the journey is far better than the destination.
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Peace.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2016</td><td width="90">ExpID: 112003</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 16</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 7, 2018</td><td>Views: 906</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=112003&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=112003&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Depression (15), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">165 lb</td>
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<!--
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Date: May 2007
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Location: Disneyland Hotel Ballroom
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Dosage: 5 Hits LSD Blotter
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-->My junior prom was located at the Disneyland Hotel Ballroom in Anaheim, California. A large group of us got together to take photographs of our formalwear. My date, E.T. and I, matched well, and were excited for the dance. I was very excited to go to the prom; having taken LSD on multiple occasions prior to prom, I decided that ingesting some LSD at the prom would be a good idea. It sounded very fun.
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Everything was going very well. After dinner, my friend and I walked upstairs to use the restroom. It was around 9p.m., an opportune time to take the LSD I planned on eating. At once, I ate all five hits that I had folded in a piece of paper in my pocket. “Was that three?” my friend asked. “No, five” I said.
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<br>
The tabs disintegrated quite well on my tongue. Never before had any of the paper LSD I had taken dissolved so perfectly; I could feel the acid going into my body. Within minutes I could feel the stuff working on me. I came up quick, and within twenty minutes on the dance floor, I was tripping hard. Little did I know that my trip would intensify for the next three and a half hours.
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The dancing was phenomenal. The song that best sticks out in my mind is Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. The climax of the song is one of the climaxes of my life. The theme of the prom was Cinderella; so naturally, trippy, fairy tale Disney music was played throughout the ballroom. While slow dancing with my date to a Disney song (with birds chirping, tin whistles, and the like), the room changed colors from red, to yellow, to purple. It was a very euphoric and colorful experience, and caused me to giggle and smile a lot.
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While waiting in the ballroom lobby for the Limo to pick up our group and drive us to the after party, I remember feeling like I was going to fall over. I felt so funny I could barely stand. My pupils were very bold. I was covered in sweat from dancing energetically and intensely, African style ☺. Within minutes, I would lose control. Just minutes longer at the Prom and I would have been completely fucked.
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The first thing that I did subconsciously occurred in the limousine on the way to the afterparty<!-- held at the Parr residence-->. The Limo was driving around a roundabout, the centripetal force holding me pressed against my seat. There were lights flashing on the ground in the Limo, and very loud music was playing. Everything was crazy, and the intensity of the dancing at Prom was fresh in my mind. Lots of flashing colors and intense rushes of emotion were flowing through my sight and awareness. “Wooooooooooo!” It wasn’t until after everyone in the Limo was looking at me did I realize what I had done. I had just screamed at the top of my lungs “Wooooooooooooo” with my right hand/fist clenched, and raised high in the air. I had no control over screaming; like I said, it wasn’t until after I screamed and everyone was laughing at me that I realized I screamed in the first place.
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The second thing that occurred subconsciously took place when we arrived to the after party. I was sitting in the Limousine, and I looked to my right and realized that everyone in the Limo had exited except for three others and me. Those who hadn’t left the Limo were to my left, and were unable to get out of the Limo because I wouldn’t move. I suppose I was non-responsive because they seemed very irritated and confused as to why I wouldn’t exit the Limo. This was the second time that I had done something that I had no control over. In both situations, it wasn’t until after I did the subconscious action that I realized I even did it.
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I proceeded to walk into the residence with my date. By this point, I was tripping very hard, but still having an excellent time. “I’m tripping so hard” I told my date. I wasn’t sure if she knew exactly what that really meant; in fact, I seriously doubt that many others on this planet (with the exception of some, of course) understand the magnitude of an intense acid trip.
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Changing into comfortable linen and bamboo clothing took probably fifteen minutes. Upon exiting the laundry room in which I changed, I heard someone say “Who takes that long to change?”
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I desperately needed to smoke some pot. Everyone at the party was openly drinking bier despite the fact that the Mr. and Mrs. were home. I figured it wouldn’t be a problem if I smoked some grass. “You can’t smoke that here, it’s illegal, and the smell is very obvious,” I was told as I packed a bowl. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t smoke some weed. People allow their children to drink beer and alcohol, but smoking marijuana is frowned upon, and it’s senseless. I guess some things I’ll never know. My high was intensifying, engulfing me with positive energies.
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Minutes later, I stood up to walk upstairs on the balcony to smoke some grass, but on the way, I got into a conversation with my friend. He started talking about parents. He told me that there were sophomore girls in the group whose parents will be coming to pick them up. Everything was very fast and crazy, and intense open and closed eye visuals overwhelmed me. Although I wouldn’t realize it for another ten minutes or so, I was already in a delusional and subconscious state. I had a vision of a man running and weaving in and out of people at a Rave I went to in LA<!-- (the vision was from How Sweet It Is, the Rave I went to and the night I last saw my brother, a story for another time)-->.
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Everything was crazy, people are talking about parents, and I had a vision of a man who got out of sight, then BOOM!!! I took off sprinting through the party, weaved in and out of people extremely fast, and ran out the front door and up the street. A chain reaction went off in my head, and I subconsciously believed that I had to get out of sight because of parents. I did not think about it, I just did it. “Ryan, where are you going?” my friend Robbie yelled, chasing after me.
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I stopped, turned around, and then slow jogged back down the driveway and into the residence. The reality is, everyone at the party had just witnessed me sprint through the house as fast as possible for no apparent reason (which, later described by my friend Jeff, was the “fastest he had ever seen a human run”). From my perspective, though, the reason I had run was legitimate. I truly believed that I had to get out of sight (or perhaps I didn’t really think about it, for everything was intensely colorful, fast, and euphoric). I thought that because the reason I took off running was legit, everyone who had witnessed me run was impressed by the will that I had to get out of sight. I felt like a prophet. I thought that everyone thought that I was badass for running so unbelievably fast to get out of sight. I refer to these delusions as delusions of grandeur. The LSD propelled me into an extremely delusional state in which I felt superior and prophetic. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">The LSD propelled me into an extremely delusional state in which I felt superior and prophetic.</div></div>
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I remember walking into the kitchen and catching something this beautiful girl from my school said. She said, “…I’ll never look at him the same.” At that moment, she turned her head and smiled at me, indicating that she was talking about me. She had been discussing my incredible will; it was as if she wanted me. I felt amazing.
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Shortly thereafter, I decided to go into the Jacuzzi, but I had no bathing suit. I took my linen pants off and went into the spa in my boxers. Two of my friends joined me in the Jacuzzi. I remember chugging beer very fast. When I got out of the spa, I was wet, and needed a towel. “Get me a towel, I need a towel, someone get me a fucking towel!” All subconscious.
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I was wet and wanted to be dry, so I did the logical thing, and took off my wet boxers. I walked into the house, completely naked. Someone yelled, “R’s naked!” I am a respectable person, not someone who gets naked in public. My friends tried to help me but I was completely delusional, unable to sit still or control in any way. I eventually managed to put clothes on, only after everyone at the party saw me naked from front to back.
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<br>
The Mrs. had seen me run upstairs naked. She commented that I had a cute rear end. After I clothed myself, I remember talking to her. “What did you take?” She asked. “Blotter,” I responded, holding my fingers up indicating five hits. I could barely speak. Everything I said throughout the night was awkwardly forced and sounded fucked up. At one point in the night, The Mrs. brought me into her bedroom and tried talking to me with her husband. I was unable to sit still, getting up subconsciously every thirty seconds or so. I was tripping extremely hard. I could barely get words out, and I couldn’t control myself for more than a minute. I would pace back and forth, and when people asked me if I were ok, I’d respond by saying, “I’m golden.”
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<br>
Beginning at the time I got to the residence, the following hour and a half or so was characterized by 30-45 seconds of conscious awareness, then 20-30 seconds of subconscious actions. I would do things uncontrollably, snap out of it, and then fade back into a subconscious and delusional realm. These subconscious delusions and altered perceptions faded in and out every minute or so for about two hours. The entire time, I certainly had a heightened sense of awareness; my senses were keen, my memory was clear, and I felt very focused. In spite of my misperception of true reality, my delusional state was one of clarity.
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<br>
I eventually stopped doing things subconsciously, and the delusions changed into the realization of the magnitude of what had just happened. The harsh realization that I had run around and exposed myself while on high doses of LSD had just dawned on me. My delusions of grandeur became fallacies, and I immediately felt ashamed for my obnoxious behavior. Although I was still tripping very hard and getting intense visuals (my hallucinations were both auditory and visual, very colorful and happy), I was able to control my actions.
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<br>
Everyone at the party was still drinking and having a good time. I tried to mingle with everyone, but was unable to. I felt inclined to apologize to people, but found that bringing up what had happened was a bad idea. One person’s response to my apology was, “Yeah, running around naked on acid at a party isn’t exactly something you want to be remembered for.” I felt extremely depressed and embarrassed as a result of what I had done. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I felt extremely depressed and embarrassed as a result of what I had done.</div></div> If I had been at the party and witnessed my behavior, I would have been frightened. I spent the remainder of the night on the couch watching Varsity Blues.
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<br>
I hadn’t slept all night, the only person at the party to do so. Around 5:15 am, rhe Mrs. peeked her head over the couch and looked into my eyes, both of which were wide open. “You’re sweating,” she said. As everyone else woke up, The Mrs. served us an amazing breakfast. She arranged to have her housekeeper drive me home. I returned home, and later that day, my mother and I flew to <!--Colorado--> to visit family. I never got in trouble for it. The Prom was on a Thursday evening. That following Monday, I ran a 10 Kilometer race<!-- in Boulder, Colorado (The Boulder Boulder)-->. I had not been in peak shape, but managed to run it in one hour. I felt tired for a few days following the Prom, but shortly thereafter, felt fine. The aftereffects were minimal. However, prolonged use of any drug will result in more negative after effects.
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<br>
This junior prom was perhaps the most profound life-changing experience I’ve ever had. I never thought that something like that could happen to me. I have a new respect for the unbelievable capabilities of LSD.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2007</td><td width="90">ExpID: 76812</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 17</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 10, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,457</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=76812&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=76812&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Large Group (10+) (19)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 8:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dmt/">DMT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
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LSDMT- Cosmic Alien Bardo interface
<br>
<br>
The following is an account of the most intense, bizarre and certainly the most intriguing psychedelic experience I’ve ever had. I was on a heavy dose of LSD. The dose based on the strength of my tabs was 525 ug (3.5 hits of 150 ug). I know most confirmed reports of LSD dosage are a matter of conjecture however the LSD was procured from a source that is reliable. The experience was very intense and on the come up I saw splashes of color all around me while walking into the bathroom. There were pink outlines to my hair and splashes of green around the walls. My dog looked like a pink and green psy-doggy. If contact highs are real let me tell you that little dog has been on some journeys.
<br>
<br>
So I’m on this journey through the cosmos and perceiving the fractal nature of everything. It gets very intense and I just dissolve. At this kind of dose music isn’t enhanced like it is at lower doses; it’s distorted with overtones and screeches. Even strumming a guitar is ugly sounding with all the extra reverberations. I came to many realizations during this experience and it was a little scary until I realized that we’re all one and then I let go completely and rode a wave of fractal thought.
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<br>
The main moment that I want to talk about happened on the tail end of my LSD experience. It was about 8 hours into the experience. Due to the dose I was still tripping quite hard although coming down. I decided to smoke some DMT. I had tried to smoke some a few weeks earlier although unsuccessfully. As a result I loaded a rather large amount of DMT in the pipe to account for user error as well as the inadequacy of my vaporization tool (marijuana pipe and layer of ash). I estimate I loaded about 60mg- 65mg although inhaled a much smaller amount that I can only speculate.
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<br>
After my third hit I violently exploded out of my body. It was so violent and physical a sensation that I felt like all my internal organs had for sure exploded out of my mouth. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">It was so violent and physical a sensation that I felt like all my internal organs had for sure exploded out of my mouth.</div></div> I was able to verify this wasn’t the case and fell back into some sort of trance state. I was in this place. It was some sort of Bardo, a place between life and death. It was some sort of universal alien interface and I was shown all sorts of alien languages on this alien technology. It seemed to be a place where all the souls that were dying or birthing were traveling through. Technology seemed to play some sort of a part and seemed to mediate this process. I saw screens with alien languages and symbols on them. This was a place where time did not exist at all. I remember looking over at my laptop at a point and seeing something that wasn’t my laptop. It was an alien machine.
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<br>
I do not know at what times my eyes were open or closed or if they were closed the entire time. It felt like a very long time and it also felt like 30 seconds. There was a pool of saliva in my mouth when I returned to this reality. I imagine that it was only 2 to 3 minutes. I was scared in that alien place. I did not freak out but wondered if I would return to my world. I think that’s when I looked at my laptop and saw something that was alien. Luckily I returned very quickly to baseline.
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<br>
Once I returned I snapped out of the trance state and started screaming “oh my god” at the top of my voice at 4 am. What I saw was essentially some sort of alien contact experience. For someone like me this is huge. I love the idea of sentience in the universe and I saw that today. Also my experience was so different from Terence McKenna’s accounts of the DMT space as well as many other accounts. I did not see too much geometry or overwhelming visuals in the form of rotating shapes and entities. It seemed different. I don’t know if this is just something that I was tuned into or if my dose was small. Or perhaps the large dose of LSD colored the DMT experience. If that was a small dose of DMT, I shudder to think what a large dose must be like.
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<br>
DMT also seems to have reverberated through time and in the few days it’s been since that experience I’ve had countless synchronicities in my day to day life. Whatever it is new doors were opened and my world view has been altered. I’ve realized that there’s so much more to know out there and that ultimately I don’t know much at all. I just can’t believe it. It’s everything I wanted yet something I don’t recognize at all.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2014</td><td width="90">ExpID: 103100</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 22</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 11, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,012</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=103100&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=103100&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), DMT (18) : Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3), Unknown Context (20)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">12 oz</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Beer/Wine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 cups</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/coffee/">Coffee</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
T. 0:00 6 mm x 5mm tab of teddy bear dead family needlepoint taken sublingually (Expecting roughly 75mcg.) (8:17pm MST)
<br>
<br>
T. 0:05 Making Angel hair pasta, trying a new sauce. <!--Added 1 large potato and a can of rotel to store bought Ragu whisk regularly, mash when soft, reduced to consistency. Cannot drain. Garlic salt, onion powder, parsly, salt and pepper all to taste. I tend heavy on garlic and salt light on onion. Light on pepper but only because my wife is less fond than I of peppery foods. -->
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<br>
T. 0:15 Chewed what remained of tab. I find it terribly inconvenient to hold the paper in my mouth for more than 15 minutes, and as far as I can tell it results in no diminished effects.
<br>
<br>
<!--T. 0:17 I attempted to cook the potatoes IN the sauce, with a little added water due to a certain time constraint, but I do believe it would obviously be better to cook the potato first, then drain, then add sauce, then mash.
<br/>
<br/>
-->T. 0:20 Likely placebo, but very faint body load detected.
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<br>
T. 0:27 I can feel the paper in my stomach and a slight tickle in the back of my throat
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<br>
T.(9:04pm) Dinner ready. Definitely feeling the lightened body and egotistical mindset distinctive of early trips
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<br>
T. 2:07 Definitely a cleaner feeling trip than the 'fluff' that we got from some 'dead family' in Oregon. Auditory hallucinations and general good feelings. A sense of being open and simply enjoying. Many thoughts come to mind, but I let most pass by with the realization that whatever is now is all that matters and everything else is secondary. Feeling very much at peace with my life and life's decisions. Also feeling extremely competant, however no tests come to mind as of right now. Dinner was okay. <!--She didnt like the texture, so I should work on it, maybe with less potato, but I like the consistency and stickyness it contributes to the sauce. -->I've decided to enjoy a bud-light. Weve been watching the office on netflix. And I will go back to that now.
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<br>
Sorry busy chasing the dragons
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<br>
T. 3:.37 Playing minecraft with the woman I love, chasing the dragons in the chinese mythology mash-up had to make a bottle for our daughter. I've reached the point that is common in my acid use where I feel like I'm thinking of things in an important way, as in I can properly discern answers, but I dont know how to apply these thoughts in my daily life in a manner that would be productive. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I can properly discern answers, but I dont know how to apply these thoughts in my daily life in a manner that would be productive.</div></div> I plan on microdosing on what I have left.
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<br>
I'm a great person but a shitty temple
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<br>
In the bathroom, just popped a pimple
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<br>
Sat and thought too much why cant I just keep it simple
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Its sad I often rush
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<br>
T. 4:01 I have noticed now that I am an inherently suspicious person. Of myself, my loved ones, of society as a whole, but in this context I've noticed that I'm suspicious of my drugs. I seem to think now that I'm never as high as I am. If I were capable of doing it sober I would say that I think I am not enlightened as I truly am. Even though I am. And thus the loop. Its like I cant allow myself to possibly be happy so I have to create these imagined roadblocks that just slow my processor down. My life being the processor. Back to doing the dishes.
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<br>
T. 4:32 If I'm ever going to reconcile with my brother I need to do it through his wife. In the last thirty minutes I did the dishes and wrote a heartfelt letter to my brother that I will never show him, but now I KNOW I need to sit down and write his wife a proper letter explaining my feelings, why I'm upset with THEM, and why I wish we could all still be friends. This is Good sid with the teddy bear blotters. I know what I want to be famous for. I know why I want people to remember my name, I believe in myself and yet I still accept all my mistakes and my shame. This is a very good accepting plateau and one of the reasons I keep coming back to this drug. Its unfortunate I havent found a way to achieve this feeling by my own meditative measures. It's late but I'm making coffee.
<br>
<br>
T. 5:24 Feels like the trip has mostly subsided by now. I'm happy but still energetic and dont want to wake my wife up so I'm going to play league of legends before bed. I cant even hack into my old league Account. Jeeeeezzz its so weird how different I am today from how I was just 5 years ago .
<br>
<br>
T. 6:38 Pupils still dilated, counts as tripping in my book. Body load is gone by now but still energetic, not tired etc. Just played the most enthusiastic game of league ever, had some real highlights but overall wasnt too spectacular a performance. Was just a ton of fun. Felt comfortable and confident recording it as well.
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<br>
T. 8:00 Pupillary constriction is normal and responsive. Still feel a calm, loving energy, but I'm definitely no longer 'high'. Parts of my body still feel slightly numb, or clammy, or calloused, but other parts like the back of my neck are sensitive. My senses, as in the cardinal 5, all feel refreshed and ready for the day ahead. Have had 2 cups of black coffee by now but I am not feeling at all jittery or unwell. Overall I feel pleasant, and dare I say enlightened of many stresses.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111901</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 21</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 12, 2018</td><td>Views: 790</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111901&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111901&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 8:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">10 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/zolpidem/">Pharms - Zolpidem</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">180 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
One fine evening during the Fall of 2007, I managed to get my hands on some decent acid. My friend 'C' had made available to me some acid from out in Cali. While I had limited funds, I told my friend 'D' about it, and through me he aquired a sheet of acid.
<br>
Long story short, we took the acid, and it did what it normally does when people eat it. I enjoyed tripping out with my friend for about 8 hours, and by that time things started to wind down and I went home.
<br>
<br>
Upon arriving at home, I was still quite awake from the acid, but I was not tripping hard. I was having no open eyed or even closed eyed visuals, but I did still feel a little weird off of it. So I decided to take a 10 mg pill of Ambien that I had gotten for free from one of my friends who had a script.
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<br>
After doing this I sat down at my computer and went to check my email. I guess about 20 to 30 minutes after I had taken the pill, I started to have a funny feeling, and then ZANG. Neon colored and pulse like snakes started to crawl in and out of my computer screen. The air became thick and hazy, and I became immersed in a green soup that had engulfed the room. The tiny lights on my computer and my wireless router and other electronics in the room suddenly felt so far away, like I was descending down the side of a Mountain into a sea of lights. I heard voices and saw whispy creatures moving about the room, and soon I found myself surrounded by what looked like extremely tall and thin Aliens, except they could have also been nomads from the Sahara in Africa. In panic, I closed my eyes, and I suddenly became immersed in several different scenarios in rapid succession. One minute I was in High School again, the next I was driving in a car, the next I was flying into Bolivia again. It seemed like I was constantly flipping through random times in my life, like in Slaughter-House Five, I had become unstuck in time. After a little while I stumbled off into my room and got under the covers, watching everything flash and grow and die in the green and hazy darkness.
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<br>
I don't know if I had some sleeper acid or what, but Ambien made what was left of an acid trip into so much more. I have never tripped as hard as I did on this occasion.<!--I recommend it to everyone --> It was AMAZING.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2007</td><td width="90">ExpID: 73406</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 18, 2018</td><td>Views: 3,564</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=73406&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=73406&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Pharms - Zolpidem (143) : Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), General (1), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dmt/">DMT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">160 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Background information: I am 19 and attending a college located in the Appalachian Mountains that owns vast amounts of farmland and animals. I have a lot of experience with a lot of different kinds of drugs. after being addicted to heroin for almost 4 years, I have begun using psychedelics for their spiritual, social, and intellectual benefits and stopped taking most other kinds of drugs. Prior to the events described in this report, I had had an intense spiritual connection to cows during a mescaline trip. As a result, I began regularly practicing meditation in cow pastures while under the influence of psychedelics. After several months of doing this, I designed an experiment in which I would attempt to communicate telepathically with a herd of cows while on DMT and LSD.
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<br>
Beforehand: I took 3 tabs of decent quality LSD about 10 hours prior to the experiment, at around 11 PM. I had planned on doing the experiment during the peak of the trip. However, a friend of mine who had borrowed my bowl earlier that night neglected to return it before going to bed, and by the time I realized this, anyone who I could have borrowed one from was already in bed. I took this as a sign to be patient and waited through the night, spending my time meditating, smoking spliffs, and hiking through the forest. That morning, I got my bowl from my friend and walked to a cow pasture.
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<br>
The experiment: It had rained the previous night, so when I walked through the pasture, the grass was wet and muddy. However, I came upon a circle of dry dirt on the ground, at least 50 yards from the nearest cow in the herd. Seeing this as a sign, I sat and packed my bowl, sandwiching the DMT between some weed. I then meditated until my mind was calm and focused. Being careful to light the bowl without actually touching the flame to the weed on top, I smoked the bowl as long as I could. At first, I was having such intense visual and audio hallucinations that I could not concentrate on my experiment. However, after they decreased in intensity, I was able to begin meditating on sending messages to the herd. At first, I tried sending messages in English. However, I quickly realized that cows probably would not understand spoken language, and instead began concentrating on sending empathetic messages of love and peace. Soon after beginning to do this, the entire herd moved around me and began grazing. This movement distracted me from my meditation for a minute, and filled me with an intense euphoria; it seemed to be working! When I had collected my thoughts, I began my meditation once again. After doing this for a little while, 5 cows surrounded me, staring at me intensely with their noses no more than 2 feet away from me. Once again, this distracted me from my meditation and created euphoric emotions. When I began meditating for a third time, 3 of those cows, one at a time, approached me even more and began rubbing their noses on my feet before calmly walking away. By this time, the DMT was beginning to wear off, so, elated, I walked back to the human pasture.
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Afterwords: Since this first experiment, I have done many others using various psychedelics including 2C-E, mushrooms, 4-AcO-DMT, 25i-NBOMe, and more LSD and DMT. Most of them have seemingly been successful, and I appear have been able to cause cows to move upon request, lick my hands and body, and allow me to pet them. Anyone who has spent much time around cows knows that they tend to be extremely skittish and generally fear unfamiliar humans, making these events extremely meaningful to me. In the most successful experiment, an entire herd that I had never encountered before swarmed around me and a friend of mine and began nuzzling and licking us within an hour of an extremely profound and life-changing DMT trip. I have found that the most important qualities necessary to achieve this kind of telepathic communication are patience, tranquility, compassion, and love. Keeping myself in this frame of mind seems to be extremely attractive to cows.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2012</td><td width="90">ExpID: 94883</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 19</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 18, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,285</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=94883&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=94883&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">DMT (18), LSD (2) : Alone (16), Mystical Experiences (9), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">200 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It was a beautiful day and G, R and I had just bought a strip of “Dragon Ball Z” acid the previous day. We called it this because or plug only sold LSD on sheets with the DBZ logo. Due to the weather, we decided it would be a perfect day to drop and we each took one tab of 200ug strength. We then drove around the city and pulled endless gb’s as we waited for the acid to kick in, (don’t drive on acid we are stupid). At about 30mins in I began to feel the familiar warm euphoric glow and I knew I was in for a great trip. A another 30mins had passed and we headed back to G &amp; R’s apartment as it was really starting to kick in for them but for me the warmth and euphoria had only grown stronger and I had yet to experience and visual. This was odd as I usually begin to experience visuals early on into the trip.
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<br>
Overall 2hrs had passes since I had first dropped, the feeling of warmth and euphoria was still steadily building and had become so intense that it was almost overwhelming. It felt like I had taken strong MDMA. Then suddenly while lying on a couch in the living room I felt a “pop” and it was as if reality went through a paper shredder and those strips of reality were sucked away into the top right of my vision. Those strips were replaced with complete blackness that eventually gave way to a mystical “dimension” void of space and time. While I was there I lost everything that I had always perceived as “me” all I was reduced to pure tranquility and I can vaguely remember vibrant reds, yellows, oranges, and purples. I don’t remember much about this place other than this. I’m not sure how long I was gone but while I was there it felt like eternity. I returned to “reality” with a wide grin, G and R asked me what happened and it took me a while to gather my thoughts all I could do was just smile and laugh like and insane man. I eventually gathered my thoughts and told them what had happened. They didn’t seem to believe me as they had never experienced anything similar on acid. I believe this to be my first ego death experience. Sadly, I have yet to experience anything like this since though, I have tried to return on multiple occasions but to no avail.
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<br>
After I was able to collect myself I walked over to the mirror in the room and stared at myself for a while. At this point I was tripping sack and was curious what would happen. At first I looked normal, slowly, my skin became pale, eventually grey, my eyes turned a deep black, and my hair was moving as if it was alive. This startled me at first as I was not expecting to morph into a foreign being, but although eerie the being standing before me did not appear to be menacing. Since this first experience I have continually perceived myself as an “alien” looking entity. As the acid began to slowly ware of I saw fractals of lessening intricacy and vividness as I eventually returned to baseline, and was greeted the next day by a lovely afterglow as well as a feeling of newfound meaning and purpose that persisted for a couple of weeks afterwards.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2016</td><td width="90">ExpID: 110263</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 18, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,299</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=110263&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=110263&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">OBE (332), LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Mystical Experiences (9), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">inhaled</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/nitrous/">Nitrous Oxide</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gas)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Currently I’m 21 years old... since I was 15 I’ve done I LOT of drugs... mostly lsd, speed, and E. Well one night changed my life forever and totally destroyed my ability to use drugs.
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One night at a club I was on about 3 hits of good lsd... They brought out the nitrous balloons and not thinking about it I grabbed a balloon. Now luckily I was on a couch or I don't know what would have happened. Well here we go I inhaled... just as I started to let out the hit my vision swirled. I got struck by a terrible fear... It was like waves of evil deja vu. The swirling pattern started to take form into a single image the fear was increased but I couldn't do anything. All of a sudden I the pattern stopped and I saw what look sort of like an outline of a fetus or something like that and I heard a noise it sounded like it said 'UH OH' in a robotic video game sort of tone... the little fetus thing charge forward across the room and everything went RED. Now when I say red I mean my eyes were wide open and all I saw was a red a blank red screen. I was trapped and this pounding in my head was constant and wouldn't stop it pushed harder and harder and then I saw the figure again in the red screen. It was sitting like in the position I was sitting It was like I was looking at an outline of myself from several feet above. I then put my hands over my face and started to freak I could see the little fetus pattern bumping its head into a wall over and over and the sound electronic sound was bad and now it was repeating 'you fu**ed up' over and over and over with a strong beat pounding in my head. The fear was still strong as it felt I was trapped It was if my mind knew this was going to happen and was laughing at me I was in HELL. It was a constant wave of deja vu as if this is what happens when you OD and it is an endless hell. Slowly I tried to uncover my eyes I looked up and everything looked like a robot everyone was dancing in robotic movements. Still I was so scared I'm surprised I didn't have a stroke or something. I felt like I had to leave the club but I could see myself getting up and leaving in my head and I knew that I was trapped here. I finally managed to speak to my friend next to my and said 'I need to get the hell out of here' he said ok... but I couldn't move and he was so fucked up I think he forgot what I said a second later...For the next 30 min I sat there in fear as the nitrous faded away and the fear slowly left...
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Now one year later there wasn't a day that passed I didn't think about that night but I thought it was just because of the mix of drugs and it wouldn't happen again. Well, If you thought that was the worst part of this story it gets worse... One night I decided to go to my friends and do some acid... now I usually took a lot of acid (like 6-8 hits) well for some reason I wanted to try 12 hits.
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It was night time I took the acid my other friends just drank and smoked some mj. We were watching x-men and it hit me. A sudden wave of panic the same feeling I had gotten that night... in my head I thought 'OH SH*T' I jumped up and jumped out his window(we always use the window to get in and out of his house) and tried to puke. The fear started to set in then it happened... everywhere I looked it was the fetus now in a circular pattern. But now it was everywhere the universe around me was breathing this image and with this much acid it wasn't going away. Now It’s to much to write but I was stuck in a 12 hour nightmare of fear and If I didn't have a strong will I would’ve killed myself.
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About 2 years after that lsd nightmare I hadn't done any drugs and swore of lsd and nitrous forever. I still have nightmares of the experience sometimes as I dream I get the fear and start to fall into it... I feel trapped and I can't move... It is a terrible feeling but luckily these dreams a very rare...
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Iv'e tried meditation and other things but this nightmare still remains with me every day of my life
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Now that you have heard my story I just want to say I feel I have somehow killed a part of my soul I have wounded myself so deep that even 3 years after the first incident I still think about it daily. I feel I have ruined part of my existence forever and was scares me most is when I die I will be trapped in that endless void forever and all I can say is whoever is up there and takes us when we die.. Please have mercy on my soul...<!--.....please email if you have any comments about my story--><!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1999</td><td width="90">ExpID: 17024</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 18, 2018</td><td>Views: 5,480</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=17024&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=17024&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Nitrous Oxide (40), LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Post Trip Problems (8), Entities / Beings (37), Bad Trips (6), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">60 kg</td>
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My first psychedelic experiences
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This is the first part of the project I started a few days ago. I don't know how it will end or anything about it, and I don't know my goal with it. <!--Also this text may need some rewriting or correcting, but I have no time for that kind of things right now. -->
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Part 1. Introduction and further explorations
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1.1) My first experience with psychedelics was when I was offered half a dose of LSD-25 (exact dose unknown but probably around 60-100µg) at a festival close to my hometown. This night as it followed contained large doses of cannabis through a pipe and hours of wonders and subtle but beautiful hallucinations. I laid in a bed close to a small window as the smoke rose from the glowing pipe, up between the wooden pedals where small stripes of sunlight shone through, allowing the patterns in the smoke to evolve into amazing fractals. The clock was somewhere between 05:00 and 07:00 and I had been tripping quite intensely with some help from the leaf when I decided to go down and look at the sunrise over the barn close to the house where I was sleeping during my stay. I stumbled my way down the stairs and got out in the bathing sun. I’ve never experienced such brightness: the sun was just above the roof and the massive field of clouds around it jumped and danced across the sky. By this point, I’d seen smaller visuals, but the size and greatness of this sight blew my mind. I just couldn’t understand how seeing this was possible in any kind of way or state, drug induced or not.
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Until this point I only had a brief idea of what a hallucination actually was, and what hallucinating actually meant. Until this very moment the concept of visuals felt like something happening in your head, like a high or a drunk, that tripping was something happening only in the influenced mind. When I saw the clouds, the sky and the star shooting trees, it all felt so obviously real though not real in a normal kind of way, but real like atoms and dimensions: there, but not present. Just like any other part of the code which we define as reality the hallucinations was simply there, as they’ve always been, but now I could see glimpses of these underlying, mysterious wonders. It was this first experience that made it clear that I wanted to deep into the whimsical world of psychedelic substances.
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The second time I did LSD was a week after the first trip. A friend of mine living in the same collective as me had a bottle of the substance which he passed around between a quite large number of people and when it finally arrived to me our best option was to shake the bottle over my hand while I continuously licked up the acid from the skin. It was full moon and if I remember it correctly over 10 persons tripped that evening, therefore the setting was amazing. We were running around in a hippie-collective, saw crazy paintings and exploding patterns, cooking chaga chai which is a kind of tea, and watched 3d-fractals in the barn using a projector, accompanied by the usual psytrance. This was my first trip of what I’d call the stronger kind. During the night I experienced a number of semi-spiritual events, since this ”full moon party” contained such a large amount of people it felt very ritualistic, almost tribal. Maybe there will be a chapter about these kinds of experiences, just as there may be a chapter about the visual hallucinations and their meaning, but I can’t tell this early in the process of whatever this sudden flow of inspiration and energy to write will end up in. To conclude this evening, it can be described as a opening of the gate of the psychedelic landscapes I so long had been wanting to explore.
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1.2) The next psychedelic drug I tried was 4-ACO-DMT, this occurred in almost two weeks after the ”full moon party” . Me and a friend ordered 500mg which we were going to share, we actually only received 250mg but through email I’ve managed to make contact with the seller and he will be sending more. When we first got the zip bag we opened it and measured up 15mg each by splitting the pile of powder an amount of times. I felt the first effects quickly, my body felt weird, a bit nauseous but mostly a little heavy. After a phase that mostly involved a discussion about how your own body was feeling on 4-ACO-DMT I got calmer and more confident. I saw some visual changes, mostly breathing walls and shapes, but also some fractals and pattern in a few sofas. I had some fun talking with my trip-partner and we listened to music most of the time.
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As this was our first time with the drug we had been dosing pretty carefully, and I’m not sure if I really would define this evening as an actual trip. But this was still only the test dose, and the night after we’d try to measure up a much larger one. After maybe 4 hours I came down from a dreamlike, mellow state that was rather closer to being stoned than what I expected after two LSD-trips. During this comedown I think I mentioned the fact that I probably could do twice as much, but I didn’t, I quadrupled it.
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Second 4-ACO-DMT-trip, this night much more intense. I watched the sun slowly sinking lower and lower over the horizon as I said to my friend (who from now on will be called X) that the time felt right to take another dose, and so we went up to our sleeping place with a plate, two cups and some water. Realising that some liquid had found its way into the powder made me a bit worried, since the it made it darker and more compact. We dosed up what I thought was 25-30mg, but this later turned up to be closer to 60mg, I drank it with a cup of apple juice between 21:00 and 22:00. After less than 10 minutes I was feeling a strong body buzz and a overwhelming heaviness grew on me. Already 30 minutes into the trip I while sitting at a campfire watching the flames stretch and swirl could feel that this were very different compared to LSD. The effects were more focused on the body and my surroundings seemed to breath in a very heavy way. Sounds became uncomfortably distinguishable from each other and I was quite nauseous, but it was so far pretty manageable. It was thursday and the day after, a reggae festival would start, so people started turning up as I began tripping harder. The buzzing feeling was only getting stronger and I felt extremely weighed down. Even laying down was hard in this state, but since I got more comfortable to just existing in this way I started enjoying the trip more and more.
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One particular event that affected me was the 15 minutes spent in total darkness, watching the light from the grayish, blue night sky while listening to Carbon Based Lifeforms. The heaven produced just enough light to trigger wondrous hallucinations between the wood panels, I saw soundwaves, geometric shapes and patterns, web-like structures and what seemed to be some kind of interdimensional grids, coordinating all existence. I really want to write about these theories too, because one following pattern in my trips has always been the presence of something that feels like a part of reality I normally can’t perceive. These grids and networks can mainly be seen in the sky, but also in smaller things. But back to the subject: while watching the wonders of light and sound combined my other friend (not Y, this person bought some of the substance from us shortly after we took it) reminded me of the opening line of William Gibson’s Neuromancer. ”The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel”, and it was the most perfect description of what I saw.
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The visual part of 4-ACO-DMT was for me kind of similar to the one on LSD, but there’s a few differences. On 4-ACO-DMT I saw more patterns in real life things as grass and walls: even when I didn’t look directly on them I could see moving stuff in the corner of my eyes. LSD was slightly different for me, while the patterns were less overwhelming at first sight, they evolved into amazing things. Another difference with the, what I heard, more mushroom-like drug, is the way you see landscapes actually. Although, this is just a theory and something I’m very excited to compare when my 4-ACO-DMT arrives.
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1.3) After the last trip I had become very excited to try more psychedelics, and preferably in higher doses. Although I’m still new to these kinds of drugs, I feel that there is only room for growth in knowledge and experience. My next trip was actually on an research chemical, I usually feel that RC’s isn’t a good idea, but after talking to a handful of people who tried it the night before and having my blotter paid for, why I don’t know but my friend (let’s call him Y) who’s 30 bought two and gave one to me, I decided to expand my list a bit further. The chemical was 25c-NBOH, a pretty new and untested one, I read some reports from 2013 and felt kind of safe actually. We took the blotter, made tea and decided to watch my personal favorite movie: ”eXistenZ” by David Cronenberg. The clock was now 03:00 in the morning.
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The effects came up slower than 4-ACO-DMT but faster than LSD, and in the beginning mostly consisted of a uncomfortable, eerie feeling moving through my body. After this quite obnoxious phase I felt a head high, not much different from the one I get on LSD, which felt quite pleasant. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">After this quite obnoxious phase I felt a head high, not much different from the one I get on LSD, which felt quite pleasant.</div></div> The body feelings were still annoying though, and made it hard to enjoy things. Me and Y went down to the sauna were we found the man selling the blotters bathing naked with a woman. The steam from the heated bathtub made patterns and since this place was filled with towels and blankets hanged in among the trees (yes, the bathtub is outside and placed over a small fire that heats it) it was a nice place to sit and watch the visuals. After a few hours and around three joints we decided to heat up the sauna, which turned up to be a wonderful idea. Bathing sauna while tripping is extremely pleasant, and every time I poured water over my body I felt a tingly sensation running all over my nerves.
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By this time the unpleasant feeling was completely gone and a warm euphoric feeling was getting stronger. Me and Y put on some new, clean clothes and decided to take a 40 minute walk to the town to buy munchies. We smoked two joints which really got me tripping again, and started to walk. The visuals were really nice by now, I saw patterns in the big fields, which looked more like huge labyrinth, and the sky was filled with green and purple grids. This was one of the slowest walks I’ve ever taken, we were way too high to hitchhike too, and forgot to bring water. The clock was somewhere between 08:00 and 09:00 now, and we arrived to the small town which had one local store. We bough chips, chocolate, cakes and cider and went to a small lake where we had our picnic. The road back was even worse to walk, and when we got back people where eating breakfast so we went up and smoked a ridiculous amount of weed and listened to radio theater.
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1.4) This was the first five trips in my life, they were very educative but also very confusing. I’ve learned a lot and I feel that I’ve grown as a person. <!--The next part will be a detailed report of my latest LSD experience which I had in the woods, combined with a chapter with theories and ideas I’ve stumbled upon during my explorations.--><!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2014</td><td width="90">ExpID: 104011</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 17</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 20, 2018</td><td>Views: 2,038</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=104011&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=104011&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">4-AcO-DMT (387), LSD (2), 25C-NBOH (763) : Large Group (10+) (19), Retrospective / Summary (11), First Times (2)</td></tr>
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
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<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">59 kg</td>
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For my New Years eve I wanted to make it something to remember. I was fifteen at the time and dating an LSD dealer who I will call (M). For our new years we decided to go to an outdoor rave several hours drive from our home city, my friend who I will call (D) came along with us. At this point I had taken LSD twice in my life, each time only taking one tab, and I had never taken Ecstasy before.
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After we had set up our tent in the rain, we decided to have a look around the different zones and wait until it started getting dark before getting our party on. At around 7pm we headed back to our car and me and (M) took one tab of LSD each, and (D) took 2 BZP pills. We then headed off to a hard dance tent and waited for the stuff to kick in. After about half an hour I started noticing the effect of the acid, the lights twinkling more, dancing felt amazing and I had a huge grin on my face. I had begun to feel a little disorientated so (stupidly) said to (D) “Hey I think we should head back to the car and take the rest of the stuff before I get too fucked to find my way around', so we found (M) and walked back to the car.
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Once we got back to the car it had gotten quite dark and was raining. At about 8.00pm me and (M) took a second tab of LSD and an Ecstasy. While sitting in the car I noticed I had begun tripping quite hard, the broken glowstick on the bonnet on the car was about the funniest thing ever, all three of us were in stitches laughing at it, and then (M) and (D) pouring water from one bottle into another made me fall off my seat in hysterics (not to mention confuse the hell out of me).
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About 30mins after taking the second tab and the E, we started walking back to the dancefloor, I was holding (M)'s hand and ranting about everything that came into my head, I then noticed I was squeezing his hand very hard and squishing it around in my hand- and it felt so good! I grinned at him as we entered the dancefloor.
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On the dancefloor it was raining hard, there were about 150 people there and what seemed like A LOT of flashing lights, I was dancing with (M) quite happily for about 10mins, but then started to feel really weird, like liquid... and was also feeling very loved up. I started telling (M) that I loved him so much, I loved this place, I love dancing, I loved the music, I loved how I felt... I began to feel every drop of rain that hit my skin, and the lights and music became very overwhelming. From about this point I don't really remember much for the next 6 or so hours. What I will tell from now on is what (M) and (D) remember as they tried to look after me.
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After my banter about how loved up I was, I wandered to the side of the dancefloor near the forest and fell onto my hands and knees, grasping the mud and grass and then putting some into my mouth. (M) went and found (D) and they lifted me up off the ground and walked be between them away from the dancefloor. We had to stop at every muddy puddle for me to have a barefooted stomp in. When (M) went off to find some help for me, (D) stayed with me beside a car, I remember hugging her and telling her that I loved her, and then started biting her neck until she pushed me away. When (M) came back we started walking back to our tent, I can remember holding (D)'s hand and saying over and over to her 'We're melting together!! We are becoming one!!' as I grasped her arm very hard and dug my nails into her.
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Once we got back into the tent, they decided I needed a drink, so tried to pour water into my mouth which I dribbled all over my chin and down my front (i can vaguely remember this feeling really amazing) then they decided maybe if they got (M) to put it from his mouth into mine I would drink, which just resulted in him getting his tongue bitten.
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At some point I started screaming random stuff like 'I can talk... I can scream!!!' (I can remember feeling as though I had discovered myself, or had just been born and was finding all this stuff out about myself <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I can remember feeling as though I had discovered myself, or had just been born and was finding all this stuff out about myself</div></div>). When I had stopped screaming I started having a fairly normal conversation with (M) and (D) about things such as sports and school when I told them that I need the toilet... so (D) took my outside and took my tights, skirt and underwear off, as I lay on the ground trying to kick her. Once she had managed to get my clothes off I kicked her quite hard and crawled/ran off away from her and collapsed into the muddy grass and started shovelling the grass and mud into my mouth and with the other hand was masturbating.
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Eventually (M) and (D) got me back inside and put a pair of boxers on me and tried to hold me down, I managed to take the boxers off myself and started telling (M) to fuck me... but at the same time violently bit and scratched both of them. This carried on for about 20mins, and then would cease as I lay motionless on the floor of the tent talking to myself.
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At this point where I was talking to myself, I can very vividly remember walking around the rave site with (M) and (D) saying things to them like 'Is everyone tripping out like me?, Are they all feeling like this?' and I remember trying to figure out what was happening, and eventually I 'figured out' that we were all playing this giant game, and that (M) and (D) were in on the secret, but I was clever and had just figured it out I told them this, and then can remember (M) saying 'And she gets it....' But according to my friends, all these conversations I had with them was really just with myself talking as me and as both of them as I lay on the floor of a dark tent. At one point over the night, I urinated on my friend as she tried to hold me down, this really just goes to show exactly how little control I had over myself.
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Over the course of the 6 or so hours I went through 3 different personalities that my friends described to me. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Over the course of the 6 or so hours I went through 3 different personalities that my friends described to me.</div></div> One was semi-normal where I would sit up and have normal conversations and be calm, just talking about everyday life. One was quite violent, I would scream, try hurt both of them, masturbate, yell at them to fuck me and try rip the tent down. And the other I would just lie down and keep talking to myself and twitching.
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When I had calmed down a little, (D) went back to the dancefloor and (M) lay with me, I can remember waking up... feeling very confused, very sick, very sore and felt very 'empty', like I had no emotions left. (M) looked at me and smiled, he looked very tired. I smiled back at him and went back to sleep. Once it had gotten light I woke up, hearing (M) and (D) talking, I crawled out of the tent and looked around, seeing my clothes scattered around the tent. At this point (M) and (D) told me all about what had happened...
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I now know what a stupid fucking idea this whole experience was, I warn everyone to not ever try something like this. I don't blame anyone but myself for this. If you ever think of candyflipping then make sure you know the effects of both drugs and you know how to handle it. And dont ever take too much!!<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2006</td><td width="90">ExpID: 67013</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 27, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,366</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=67013&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=67013&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Bad Trips (6), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Second Hand Report (42), Rave / Dance Event (18)</td></tr>
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1500 ml</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/herbs/chamomile/">Chamomile</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(tea)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">200 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 3:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 joints/cigs</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 3:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.25 joints/cigs</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">10 </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">85 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Schedule:
<br>
<br>
10.30 am: 200ug lsd
<br>
01.30 pm: 1/2 of a joint with 0.2g weed
<br>
02.00 pm: 100ug lsd
<br>
04.00 pm: 1/4 of a joint with 0.6g weed
<br>
02.00 am: sleep
<br>
<br>
Prior experience:
<br>
I tried mushrooms when I visited Amsterdam, but they didn't have much of an effect; I only experienced some minor visuals and nothing else. I've smoked weed, but never on a regular basis. I drink alcohol ~ once every two weeks.
<br>
<br>
Setting:
<br>
It was a beautiful sunny day last weekend on my lakeside summer cottage. The weather was perfect: approximately 25 degrees Celsius, no clouds. This is quite rare where I live and it felt like the universe/reality/gods approved of this journey. Nevertheless, I was nervous. The planned dose (200 ug) seemed massive for a first timer. My buddy had tried 150 ug LSD before and his calmness reassured me. I drank 1,5 liters of cold chamomile tea in hopes of deterring a bad trip. I was also under the impression that it might potentiate the effects of LSD, so it was a no brainer.
<br>
<br>
Me and buddy set up mattresses, pillows and blankets on the huge wooden terrace that I've built between the main cabin and the sauna. The terrace was immediately surrounded by large trees and pristine Scandinavian nature: tall pine trees and spruces mixed with verdant birches and rowans. The ground was covered by blueberry and cloudberry bushes. The forest was filled with rabbits, birds and squirrels and while swimming, we encountered duck mummies with their kids. The lake is large and the water is clear, even potable. The water was a bit cold to the skin, but ignoring that, we spent large stretches of time there.
<br>
<br>
The cabin and Finnish sauna were both built by my grandfather. He was an eccentric man and the buildings are covered by weird wooden sculptures made by him. Everything from the wooden door handles made of tree nodes to lamps carved inside hollow burnt logs are sights on their own. Upstairs in the main building, there's a small dresser in a dark corner (not dark at all, had we pulled the curtains on the window, but we liked it that way).
<br>
<br>
We wrote all sorts of notes to ourselves saying e.g: 'you're tripping on LSD, if you're feeling bad, don't worry, it will end soon. If you're feeling good, have fun!' and 'Here's some fruits and water, remember to hydrate'. We never even glanced at those notes.
<br>
<br>
For food, we had the aforementioned fruits, pineapple, bananas and apples. Late at night we had some barbecue.
<br>
<br>
We started the trip with some clothes on, but very soon after the first dose we went swimming naked. It didn't feel appropriate or good to put the clothes back on, so we stayed naked for pretty much the rest of the day.
<br>
<br>
Sitters: My dog.
<br>
<br>
The trip:
<br>
<br>
My friend wanted to take the plunge at 10 am, but I wanted to make sure that we have everything ready. We set up the mattresses, food and notes. I drank my tea.
<br>
<br>
I put the tab on my tongue.
<br>
<br>
It might've been placebo, but just after 15 minutes of taking the drug, I experienced a strong sense of heaviness in my limbs. A few minutes later, my hands and feet got really cold and even turned bluish. I had an urge to pee, but I found it difficult when I tried to. While trying to pee, I noticed the lessened periferic blood flow in my genitals as well.
<br>
<br>
The the nausea kicked in next. It started around 11 am and lasted for about an hour. It wasn't bad, but definitely unpleasant. Neither of us felt the urge to puke. It was basically the sensation that some people get while reading in a car. All colors became more vivid.
<br>
<br>
At around 11.15 I started experiencing the first visuals: barely visible streams in the sky, turning slowly into worms that soon became snakes. Things escalated quickly from there: the nature started breathing with me and all surfaces started twisting and twirling. The world turned into a spectacular show of peculiar images rotating, as if I was looking at the world through a kaleidoscope or the glass paintings of a church. By this time all colors were magnified to such intense vivid levels that I found it difficult to look at the sky. I retreated to inside of the cabin for a few minutes, for I was afraid of eye damage. I looked at the downstairs mirror and my pupils were gigantic.
<br>
<br>
By 5pm I saw faces even on dull uni-color surfaces. Dragons, animals, demons, insects and people on more complex surfaces. However, I was fully aware that they are hallucinations and I could make them disappear for a second or two if I really put my mind to it.
<br>
<br>
At around 11am we started speaking about the nature of reality and other complex ideas, most of which I've forgotten. I started thinking about the reality as a set of rivers or streams flowing in the same direction, connected in some areas and separated in others. There were 7-8 levels of reality. My consciousness was a whirlpool on the 5th level. The whirl grew weaker and weaker, until it was completely flat at around 12.15. I was gone. I started speaking about myself in third person, saying 'he is irrelevant' and 'he exists on lesser level of unity'. The idea of there existing a thing called 'me' was laughable. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">The idea of there existing a thing called 'me' was laughable.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
The current decided to inhale some marijuana. The joint had a life of its own; it glowed, sparked and was alive. It looked more magical than anything else in the world. The spirit of the fire in the joint was female. I inhaled her. While smoking, we decided to go balls to the wall and take 100ug more lsd. We had agreed not to do this, but It had been pleasant experience thus far and we were not afraid. It was a good decision.
<br>
<br>
At around 2pm I came back. I came to realize that I am, but I didn't really know who I was. I started searching for pieces of my personality. I encountered a feminine spirit (I don't believe in these spirits, it's just a practical way of describing how it felt) that tried to take a hold of me. I looked at the mirror in the dressing room of our sauna and saw how I might look like as a woman. I was disgusted and angry at this femininity, but it refused to go away. I decided to accept that there's a feminine side in me and the spirit left me alone.
<br>
<br>
My friend asked me to bring something from the cottage. While I was walking there, I noticed this urge to go speak to the mirror upstairs. I told my friend that I have a meeting with the mirror. I sat down in front of the dresser and started speaking. I felt furious. I started shouting at myself: 'Who the fuck do you think you are!?' I pounded the table and stomped the floor. I was at war with myself. I had a stare down competition with the man in the mirror. Suddenly, my grandpa from my mom's side appeared on the left side of my reflection and my father and my grandpa from my dad's side on the right. They stared at me angrily. They started speaking to me in turns about the great sacrifices they had made to ensure my existence. They told me that I'm at heart a warrior and I need to fight. Then they started fighting me. I felt great powers that tried to push me away from the dresser. I grasped the dresser with my both hands and held tight. The spirits, coming at me with wind and fire attacked me from different directions for what felt like hours, but I didn't budge. I had won. They spirits of my forefathers approved of my existence and of me. They told me that I'm not weak. I saw my face transform into something beautiful. All of my imperfections disappeared, my eyes started burning in green flames and I looked and felt peaceful and powerful.
<br>
<br>
After that, It was a loong way down. We had many awesome conversations, went to the sauna and had some bbq food. I still experienced some visual distortions when I went to bed. Though I can't remember much of the long talks I had with my friend, I believe they left a mark on me.
<br>
<br>
Aftermath:
<br>
<br>
This was one of the greatest experiences of my life. I truly value my existence more now. I am more content and motivated.
<br>
<br>
I listen to tons of different lectures and podcasts. During this trip I came to realize that I'm addicted and I keep contaminating my consciousness with infotainment. I decided to stop, at least for two weeks. I also gained motivation to fix my back that has been aching for way too long. I started organizing my life. Yesterday I cleaned up my email (went through 15 000 emails and deleted all spam and archived everything important). Other reformations are on their way.
<br>
<br>
This was very a pleasant, hopefully life changing experience<!--, and I recommend it to everyone that has no background of serious mental illness-->.
<br>
<br>
<!--Here's a picture of the sunset. Doesn't really do justice to the view. https://ibb.co/n4dakJ--><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 112060</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 26</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jul 3, 2018</td><td>Views: 814</td></tr>
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Entities / Beings (37), Personal Preparation (45), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:34</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 3:40</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:06</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 8:08</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 8:08</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">20 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dmt/">DMT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 9:34</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 10:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 11:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 11:52</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 13:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">70 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dmt/">DMT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<span class="erowid-warning">[Erowid Note:
The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]</span>
<br>
<br>
900ug of LSD. Skateboarding depression.
<br>
<br>
I had been mentality preparing for this trip for about a month waiting to move into my new house after been staying at my Mum’s for 3 weeks and not feeling comfortable to trip there.
<br>
<br>
I had been suffering from depression for about 5 years due to my Dad abandoning me and starting a new family.
<br>
Instead of dealing with my emotions I bottled them up. This lead to a lot of drug abuse and I became experienced with high doses of Alcohol, MDMA, Ketamine, MXE, Cannabis, Nitrous Oxide, Cocaine, LSD, 4-ACO-DMT, 2CE, 2CB, DMT, 5-MEO-DMT, Tramadol, Benzos and various other drugs. (A lot of RC’s)
<br>
<br>
I was taking all of these substances to escape life and make existence bearable, this ultimately destroyed my ability to properly feel emotion. I would not ever feel sad and was unable to cry for years even though I was suffering. This caused me to feel really frustrated with every aspect of my life without really knowing why. The inability to feel sadness made me feel inhuman I was studying at university but I was doing the bare minimum and barely scraping by. I wasn’t working and paid for my drug binges with my overdraft and by selling drugs. I felt like I didn’t care about anything and didn’t really want to exist. I started to shut people out and would rather sit in my room all night smoking weed then going out and meeting my friends. I never felt suicidal because I just see it as being selfish towards my loved ones. I had stopped selling drugs a few months before this trip and I was really struggling with money. Ultimately I felt useless and my plan for this trip was to make me feel human again and be happy with myself.
<br>
<br>
I had bought ten 100ug tabs and I was planning to take all ten, I have quite a large tolerance to most drugs and was excited to try being on a high dose of LSD. My last experience with LSD before this was taking 7 tabs quite quickly and having very overwhelming visuals where all the objects in my room would jump around like I was in a Disney film. Shortly after my peak I took a handful of Valium to knock myself out. I woke up maybe 12-16 hours later. <!--(Don’t do this, it is dangerous. -->I should not have done this as I personally blackout on high doses of Valium and have no impulse control. There has been times were I have taken anywhere between 200-700mg where I would blackout and do god knows what. Once I lost £1,200 gambling online after taking 700mg, that was all the money I had in the world)
<br>
<br>
Addressing my issues – I don’t remember at what time these all happened so I will describe them together now and then describe my dosage and visual experiences afterwards.
<br>
<br>
Throughout the night I was smoking tobacco in my joints, using more and more as I started to run out of weed. LSD always gives me the ability to separate feelings and experiences. For example, if I am listening to music I would hear each instrument separately at the same time. So when I was smoking tobacco I would feel the relaxation that it brings me but also I would feel the tar entering my body and clogging up my throat and lungs, I would remember that I hate the taste of tobacco bringing me to the conclusion that it is not worth smoking it.
<br>
<br>
I thought about my family problems and cried for the first time in years, I cried for a while and this allowed me to not only understand what was making me so miserable but to also let out these emotions like a human being and then be able to move on. I no longer felt frustrated and had a sense of peace. I felt sad but finally human.
<br>
<br>
I often fidget around by clicking my fingers and dislocating my shoulder and then popping it back in. While doing these things tripping I felt like I was breaking my bones and that my fingers and arm was actually falling off my body. This felt very uncomfortable and I decided that I really shouldn’t be doing this at all.
<br>
<br>
I have always been quite scared of the dark because it is unknown. I would sometimes feel uncomfortable walking around at night often feeling as if someone was following me and that something or someone wanted to harm me. While looking down my garden in the pitch black I started to see loads of wolves running towards me and this was quite unsettling because I knew this was all in my head I tried to embrace it and stay calm and obviously nothing happened to me. Now when I walk around at night I can remain calm, if I look behind me to make sure nothing is following me it will put the thought in my head and the more I react to these thoughts the more I felt like I was being chased. It sometimes would get to the point where I would start running and I would not be able to calm down until I was at home behind a looked door. I realised that if I just don’t react to these thoughts they don’t increase and they go away.
<br>
<br>
I realised that the reason I was abusing drugs was to escape from life, I would start getting more and more depressed until I would be smoking weed 99% of the day and then I would eventually start drinking every day and using benzos, opiates and anything available. I would purchase everything online so I had a lot of potent drugs to choose from. When I was tripping I realised that using drugs to black out my emotions was a very bad thing and I needed to stop. I now meditate when I need to clear my mind instead of taking drugs to cloud it. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">When I was tripping I realised that using drugs to black out my emotions was a very bad thing and I needed to stop. I now meditate when I need to clear my mind instead of taking drugs to cloud it.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
I also realised that I really needed to get my life together by getting a job and working harder on my studies. Setting goals is very important to being happy rather than focusing and worrying about things you have no control over.
<br>
Dosage and visuals.
<br>
<br>
12:00 – After waking up a few hours before and eating some breakfast I decided to take my first tab. I knew I was planning to take as high a dose as I could manage so I walked over to a friend’s house who had two Valium that he said I could have. I smoked a joint with him to thank him and then went home. I was thankful to have these because they are good for reducing trips and relieving anxiety. I felt like they were a sort of safety net encase I had a bad trip.
<br>
<br>
I knew I was going to be taking a lot of tabs and they normally take almost exactly an hour to take effect. Because of this I wrote down the time on a piece of paper every time I took a tab. I didn’t want to take a tab after forgetting I had taken one 20 minutes before. I would often feel like I wanted to take another tab but then I would look at my paper and realise that I was going to come up from a tab in the next 20 minutes for example.
<br>
<br>
14:34 – After coming up from the first tab I was relaxing, smoking a few joints and playing video games in my room. I decided it was time for another tab.
<br>
<br>
15:40 – I started to feel the effects of the second tab and knew that I wanted another, when I started coming up from the third tab I started looking at my curtains, they were netted and let in a lot of sunlight. The light coming in from the sun and the reflection of the sky, clouds and the houses across the road let in a wide variety of colours making my curtains appear to be beautiful stain glass windows.
<br>
<br>
One of my friends contacted me and asked if I wanted to go skateboarding with him. I really enjoy skateboarding and was excited to try it on acid. He wasn’t around for a couple of hours so I continued to enjoy the visuals.
<br>
<br>
17:06 – I took my fourth tab and went out to meet my friend. I arrived at the skate spot about 15 minutes before him. It was absolutely packed with people skateboarding and the visuals were really coming on strong. I was wearing sunglasses to tone down the visuals so I could see where I was going but also to disguise how wrecked I was to the general public.
<br>
<br>
Skateboarding was very enjoyable on acid. I felt quite wobbly but not like I was drunk, I was just quite distracted by all my thoughts and visuals. Anyone who skateboards will know that doing tricks uses a lot of muscle memory, I had been skating for about seven years so was able to land quite a lot of tricks. Although I would have to put all of my mental energy into doing any tricks, this made it in some ways easier than when I would skate sober because I would not put enough mental energy into it.
<br>
My friend decided to come back home with me and wanted to take a tab.
<br>
<br>
20:08 – Me and my friend both took a tab so I was on my fifth. I then went to my bedroom to smoke 20mg of DMT, I think it had lost potency because it had no noticeable effect. I then went outside to look at the trees. I felt very connected with them and it reminded me of the film Avatar.
<br>
<br>
21:34 – I take my sixth tab and then went downstairs to smoke a joint. We were smoking joints regally throughout the night and in total I must have smoked about 15-20 throughout the day and night. I looked out at the moon and it was beautiful, it looked like a bright glowing ball of rock. (I know that is exactly what it is but the shape and colour would change so it looked more like a comet stationary in the sky). It was also incredible to think about how big the moon actually is. It wasn’t completely dark at this point but it was starting to be.
<br>
<br>
22:00 – Even though I was still going to come up from my sixth tab about 20 minutes later I took my seventh because I really wanted to go deep into the visuals. We were sitting outside and it had gotten quite dark. We had set up a phone light pointing up through a water bottle to make a sort of lantern and we ended up staring at it for what felt like hours. We would occasionally say to each other things like “man this bottle” and “it’s just so good”.
<br>
<br>
I would be looking at the bottle and it would shine so bright that it looked like it had descended from heaven, then within the bottle the light would explode resembling the big bang and it created a universe inside. Time would pass very quickly and life would start to evolve, I would see tiny beings start to create buildings and eventually space crafts. The space crafts would start to fly out of the bottle but before they could leave they seemed to notice me watching them and they would return to the form of a bottle. This happened many times in a cycle and the whole cycle would take about 20 seconds.
<br>
<br>
23:00 – My friend went home as he had to work the next day, I took my eighth tab and the visuals started to get very intense. I was debating taking the Valium I had but then decided that I was able to handle myself fine and didn’t want to waste the acid I had by reducing the trip. I would be walking around my house and touching different materials like towels and walls, my hands would start to resemble that texture and appear to sink into it. This was very enjoyable. At one point I wrapped myself in a blanket and felt like I was the blanket. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I would be walking around my house and touching different materials like towels and walls, my hands would start to resemble that texture and appear to sink into it. This was very enjoyable. At one point I wrapped myself in a blanket and felt like I was the blanket.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
23:52 – I took my finial tab and sent a one-hour alarm on my phone so I would know when I was starting to come to my peak. I was tripping very hard. The visuals would be creating widely detailed patterns out of anything I would look at and when I closed my eyes and meditation I would have visuals nearly as strong as that from a DMT breakthrough.
<br>
<br>
01:00 – I was tripping pretty hard at this point and decided to finish of my DMT that was probably about 60-80mg and then I was going to try an address the issues in my life that I was planning to.
<br>
<br>
The DMT had very little effect, it added a sort of curvy visual effect that I normally get from a low dose of DMT but didn’t have the breakthrough experience I was hoping for.
<br>
<br>
02:00 – I was starting to come down from the acid and knowing I would not be able to sleep I wanted to trip more. I loaded up my bong with somewhere between 15-25mg of 5-MEO-DMT. I had not taken 5-MEO before but had read up on it. Many people said they were surprised by the intensity so I was expecting a breakthrough experience. As soon as I exhaled the world started to go dark. My body felt like it melted away and I experienced an intense nothingness. I had no body, I existed but I didn’t feel connected to this universe. It was like I had died and there was nothing on the other side. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">As soon as I exhaled the world started to go dark. My body felt like it melted away and I experienced an intense nothingness. I had no body, I existed but I didn’t feel connected to this universe. It was like I had died and there was nothing on the other side.</div></div> For a brief moment I almost felt like death would be preferable but as soon as even a second had passed it felt slightly less intense. The fact that I knew that I would be coming back calmed me down instantly. It was still intense but I knew it would pass. I then started to remember that I had bones and a body. It was like a was reborn.
<br>
<br>
I then tried to sleep but knew I wouldn’t be able to so I just laid in bed with my eyes closed and enjoyed the closed eyed visuals, I could seem to control them. I would think of a pineapple for example and then see one in front of me.
<br>
<br>
I was also getting sort of thought explosions where I would think of something simple like an object or a decision, I would then develop this thought but after about a second I would go off on a tangent forgetting my original thought and having so many other thoughts in my head that I could no-longer pay attention to any of them so I would then let them float away so my mind wouldn’t get cluttered. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I was also getting sort of thought explosions where I would think of something simple like an object or a decision, I would then develop this thought but after about a second I would go off on a tangent forgetting my original thought and having so many other thoughts in my head that I could no-longer pay attention to any of them so I would then let them float away so my mind wouldn’t get cluttered.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
I got out of bed at around 7am and then tried to get on with the day, I still felt like I was on one or two tabs throughout the day but I felt sober enough to play video games and then go out for a skate in the evening.
<br>
<br>
When I got back at around 8PM I planned to take a nap and then go out and buy some dinner but I ended up sleeping for about 14 hours.
<br>
<br>
All in all, I got exactly what I wanted from my trip. I got to experience intense visuals and also dealt with some of the issues that were ruining my life. Being on acid reminded me that I really enjoy being outside and looking at trees and other plants and made me realise that I don’t need drugs to enjoy these things. I have now started going outside regularly to meditate to replace smoking a joint or a bong.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2016</td><td width="90">ExpID: 109051</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 22</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jul 6, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,511</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=109051&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=109051&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Various (28), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Depression (15), Combinations (3), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">120 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Since beginning my relationship with psychedelics about a year ago, I’ve become a strong proponent of the mind-opening properties that acid delivers. I feel lucky to say that, after a trip I never thought I would have, I still love this drug.
<br>
<br>
Three friends and I made the trip to<!--Manchester--> TN for the 2008 Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival. We are all reasonably experienced LSD users (T having taken it the least at six times), and had for quite some time been planning on tripping Friday, the second night of the festival.
<br>
<br>
Evening came and went on Friday, and we grew more and more excited at our campsite. We were all eagerly anticipating trying our new “Rolling Stones” blotters, which were a significantly higher dose than many previous trips (an estimated 250 micrograms). At 10pm, we each dropped 1 blotter hit (I took very slightly less than one and C took very slightly more), and headed to the festival’s center to watch the end of Metallica’s show. Joining a massive crowd made me feel uncomfortable before even really coming up, so the four of us walked around a bit. We took a seat on a bench on the side of a locked barn on the grounds, where countless people tried unsuccessfully to get in. About two hours and many Sour Patch Kids after dosing, we headed to a tent to watch MSTRKRFT perform. Two guys sharing a blunt with a crew of dancers waving Canadian flags on either side of them seemed incomprehensibly cool to me, and I imagine, to everyone in attendance.
<br>
<br>
I thought the girl dancing next to me looked like Nelly Furtado (with no idea if she actually did), and enjoyed seeing her dance, but the guy she was with appeared to be confused every time I glimpsed over, which for one reason or another unsettled me. I found myself too careless to hold on to anything, so C took my sweatshirt as I gave away my glowstick to a very happy crowd member. Every so often I’d glance at people that were leaving the show. They seemed like they couldn't stop dancing, and that unsettled me even more. Rather quickly, people all around me started to look panicked, and I decided I wanted to leave. C, T and I left the tent and emerged into the rain.
<br>
<br>
We tried to find a tree to sit at by the Comedy Tent. C had one picked out but it didn't seem like we were getting any closer even as we marched on. I realized I was freaking out and told him I needed to leave, fast. As confusing as Centeroo was to me, it was impossible to get my bearings in the current state and I quickly entered a panicked mindset. I was hallucinating endless rows of identical trees, and everywhere I turned, the Ferris wheel was in my direct line of sight. Leveling up Plasma Pong-like electronic music was all I could hear. I grabbed C’s hand as tight as I could and spiraled into a place so dark I had no idea my mind was capable of such thought. I also thought I was in the process of ruining the almost two-year relationship between him and me. I repeatedly voiced how scared I was and that I wanted to go home. Everywhere I looked were fractals and various geometric shapes, and I seemed to briefly experience a sense I don't normally have while walking past a wall designed for people to paint graffiti onto. Everywhere I looked were endless rows of camping tents, flags, cars, and vendor tents. It was raining fairly hard at that point (somewhere around 3 hours into the trip), and I thought I was the cause of the inclement weather. I recognized the Bonnaroo arch, aforementioned graffiti wall, and the infamous grilled cheese stand on the way to our campsite, all of which I considered small victories. After some difficulties finding the campsite, the three of us ended up back at the tent, where I entered the worst part of my night.
<br>
<br>
I was consumed by mind-numbing fear, the likes of which I can't even really comprehend now, after the fact. At this point I buried my head in C’s lap and thought I was about to die (the feeling can only be described as being at the final step before death, whatever that may be. C later suggested I may have been approaching ego death here). My overwhelming feeling was one of embarrassment and shame, and I knew how embarrassed my parents would be if they knew what I had done. A guy in a scary outfit walked by and I thought he was an alien (I was later informed that a person in a scary costume had actually in fact walked by our campsite at that time). C put on recognizable songs (Transatlantic All of the Above, followed by Porcupine Tree’s Collapse the Light into Earth and a few more All of the Aboves), and slowly I started to improve. We entered our tent, where I cried and cried and begged him not to tell various people. He was calming and reassuring, and even in my state I knew I was in the best hands I could be in. Walking through endless swarms of women wearing tank tops at the festival, my prominent closed-eye visual pattern is best described as “kaleidoscopic boobs.” I knew I was compounding my problems through too much circular thinking, though knowing didn’t help. Aware that I was the reason C was missing two other acts we had looked forward too was certainly no help either. I felt like a small child, too overwhelmed to even change out of my clothes.
<br>
<br>
We talked about things that were particularly bothering me at the time, and he gradually brought me away from a state of panic. Eventually (Around 4 or 5 am) I felt ready to emerge from the tent. It was as though I was emerging from the cocoon I had spent the last few hours in. Time, thankfully, passed very very quickly, but I felt as though a sinister aura was surrounding me for the rest of the night and into the next day (visuals lasted around 8-9 hours, albeit much lighter as time went on). During our first trip to Centeroo of the following afternoon, my strongest urge was to cry, though I curbed that feeling throughout the afternoon. I wondered if I would ever feel “normal” again. I got my answer later that evening, where my group of four was able to enjoy brilliant performances by Sigur Ros and Ghostland Observatory, and thankfully could enjoy the rest of the festival as though my mind hadn’t completely broken from reality the previous night.
<br>
<br>
My Bonnaroo trip was a perfect example of set and setting being so crucial for tripping. Having never had a bad trip (before or after Bonnaroo), I learned that too much overwhelming input in an unfamiliar place can be disastrous. Now, I consider that night a learning experience, but will take precautions to ensure it doesn’t happen later on. I am so happy that I still intensely enjoy tripping acid, but now truly understand how powerful it can be.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2008</td><td width="90">ExpID: 72573</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jul 18, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,191</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=72573&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=72573&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Guides / Sitters (39), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Unknown</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
My companion and I decided to drop during a family reunion of sorts. We had a room to ourselves with a laptop and dropped the acid. I took two tabs and he took two. I began to wonder if the tabs were going to take effect or not after about half an hour. After a few more minutes I noticed that the background of the laptop was beginning to ebb and flow. It was overwhelmingly cool. I began to look at a golf ball that I picked up from the floor, it was incredible. We proceeded to load google earth on the computer. We zoomed into the earth and then zoomed out. As we were zooming out it felt like we were leaving the universe, and we had the most incredible rush of energy and euphoria imagineable. It was so powerful we felt that it should not be allowed. We turned on some music to see what it would sound like. We found Jimi Hendrix and the Mars Volta to be amazing, but then tended to cause me to think in a spiral which began to feel a bit scary, so we switched to the beatles. That was a great decision. As we listened to strawberry fields forever, we were transported to the fields. We breathed in and felt a rush or euphoria. We could smell the fields. All the beatles music created an environment. It was incredible. Not only that, but all of our insights would suddenly make sense at the climax of every song. We noticed that what seemed to us like hours was actually a matter of minutes. We seemed to notice this every eight minutes. Every eight minutes felt like an eternity of thought and realization. It was like being reborn hundreds of times through the night. As if we were given the chance to gain the wisdom of age in a single night. The other thing we began to notice was that time was not only slowed, but we interpreted our senses out of order. Time no longer was relevant. We would process a tiny fraction of a second as minutes, and a few minutes as nothing. We would experience something and then realize it happened before something else we had to have heard after the initial experience.
<br>
<br>
Finally we decided to leave the room. It was still dark outside. I took an infinitely long piss and began to notice that the wood floor seemed to be emanating energy. Paintings would move, and plants would go through the seasons. It turned out our uncle and grandparents were already awake. They began to ask us about college admissions being the concerned adults they were. We somehow managed to ramble through the conversation supporting each other when we got stuck on a train of thought. Eventually we decided to go on a walk. We were starting to come down at that point. The moon was incredible, and we couldnt' understand where we were walking, but everything was still amazing. Eventually we returned and took showers. My cousin claimed that his shower was absolutely incredible. I did not have a particularly amazing shower, I had already come down from the trip and was just heavily stoned. I felt disconnected from my body. Everything was distant. I felt like I had lost my soul. Like I had no reason for existing. I pressed on though. At the time I couldnt' piece together what had happened during the trip. As teh day went on I began to go insane from insomnia. I was dead tired and my brain was fried, but I couldnt' go to sleep. I was ready to commit suicide and asked some family for something to help em sleep. They gave me some motion sickness medicine and eventually I crashed. I woke up normal.
<br>
<br>
For days afterward I tried to interpret what had happened. In the end I realized it was just a drug. All the amazing realizations I had made could be made without its influence. Nevertheless, I do not regret the experience. On the whole it was definitely an incredible time. I still feel wise from all the eternities I lived in that one night.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 48684</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jul 24, 2018</td><td>Views: 880</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=48684&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=48684&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Glowing Experiences (4), Music Discussion (22), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:15</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 6:15</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">185 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Lucy Treats a First Timer Like Alice
<br>
<br>
<!--Lizard Lounge--->Dallas: 10/16/2010 (18yrs old, 2 smartees approx 4 drops, it was soaked, and 3 x pills) I arrived at the club around 12:15AM, quite a late start. I popped 3 tabs of ex about an hour before and was rollin pretty hard walking in the door, I wanted to talk to someone who was tripping on A before I dropped because I wanted some reassurance that I would be safe.
<br>
<br>
12:30, It was my first time going down the rabbit whole with lucy, but she treated me well. 1:00, a warm sensation coursing through my spine turned in to full body euphoria. Another 30min passed and my vision began getting hazy, and I blanked. I forgot where I was and had no idea why the walls were beginning the inhale and exhale like a living being, or why my arm looked as if it had been outlined in bold. On the brink of breaking down I was saved by a familiar face. The size of his pupils reminded me where I was, and it was time to party. The room continued to grow smaller and larger and an increased rate until it matched the sick bass that Laid Back Luke was layin down. I enjoyed the hallucinations. I had tried shrooms before and 'thought' I saw something, but lucy introduced me to a world that was alive.
<br>
<br>
2:00, I sat down with my black RayBan Aviators on with a slight smirk in the darkness. The hallucinations grew stronger with every passing minute I looked into the crowd with my field of vision tinted an intensely dark hue of pink. I began to laugh as the beautiful dallas lights began to trace in my vision blinding me with beautiful colors. I closed my eyes and they slowly dissipated.
<br>
<br>
3:00, I was feeling friendly so I invited this beautiful blonde to have a seat and 'talk'. Her skin was glowing and her hair seemed to be moving, and reaching to caress my neck. She told me she was on ecstasy, and asked me what was with the sunglasses. I showed her my eyes and told her what I had taken. She was very interested and I shared with her what I was seeing. She leaned in and kissed me because she wanted me to tell her how it felt. As soon as our lips touched, and her hands wandered, The bass dropped in the room and the sound I heard was that of putting your head out the window of a moving car doing 80mph down the freeway. After about 10 minutes of that I began to get overwhelmed and overheated so I backed off and walked to the bar to get a bottle of water. The water that dripped off the bottle appeared to run up my arm and cool my chest every time I took a drink.
<br>
<br>
4:00, The club closed and I was ready to go home and enjoy my trip safely. My friend was sober by the time we left so he drove of course. The road constantly changed from black to white as we cruised north on hwy75 and the car ride seemed to take a mere 15minutes.
<br>
<br>
5:30, I had no perception of time, the next few hours were spent smoking some bud at the house and sharing what I was seeing with my friends who had never tried it, they had to leave at 6 to get home. With 4 Cigarettes left in my pack of Marlboro 54s I had taken full control of my trip and was determined to make this the mind expanding experience I had been longing for, something to remind me of how beautiful the world really is.
<br>
<br>
6:30, Opened up the garage and took a chair outside, with my eyes trained on the pulsating sky with scattered stars that made me blush when they 'winked' at me, a cigarette in my hand, and a bottle of orange juice at my feet I was on top of the world.
<br>
<br>
6:45, The sun began to rise beginning with a shimmering deep blood red that rose into a light orange creating a rainbow of colors that looked to me as if they were releasing sheet lighting into the clouds of their respective color. It was the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen in my life, I felt inspired, motivated, and moved that god would create such a mural that would be the envy of the worlds most famous artists, just for me. A strong surge of emotion raced through my body, and a single tear slid down my cheek as came to terms with a personal problem I'd been having for a while now. I haven't thought of her since come to think of it.
<br>
<br>
7:30, the sun had risen too high and began to strain my ever so dilated pupils. I closed the garage door went up stairs, and took a shower that was quite entertaining.
<br>
<br>
8:00, asleep comfortable, and warm, experiencing very vivid dreams that I couldn't bring to lucidity, but still enjoyed very much.<!--It is definitely not a drug for someone who doesn't think they can handle hallucinations, but if you think you can it's something everyone must experience once in their life,--> I had no feeling of nausea what so ever, I just felt warm the whole time. It has had such a positive psychological effect on me, that the next time I have an emotional problem that I cant find clarity on, I will most likely use lucy to tell me the truth.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2010</td><td width="90">ExpID: 87826</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 3, 2018</td><td>Views: 946</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=87826&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=87826&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">MDMA (3), LSD (2) : General (1), First Times (2), Combinations (3), Glowing Experiences (4), Music Discussion (22), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This report is both an experience report and a report on how the use of LSD has changed and reshaped the workings of my thought process.
<br>
<br>
I have only dropped about 16 times(I think),usually 2 or 3 hits each time (amber gels, clear gels, various blotters, liquid). Therefore, I am not terribly experienced in acid and might be wrong or be making ignorant statements about tripping.
<br>
<br>
The following is what I have found acid to do to my thought proces while I am on it:
<br>
Once I eat it, it usually takes about an hour or so for me to start to come up. I attribute the come up with a rising feeling in my chest (kind of like when your heart jumps the moment you see someone who you've been nervously waiting for (I think you know what I mean)). I realize that I'm tripping when I feel around the inside of my mouth with my tongue and start to become very conscious about the position of inside of my mouth or my face. Basically, I think this marks the beginning of the debasement of standards in the brain. By that, I mean that I stop making subconscious assumptions regarding how the world(and myself) works. Once this debasement of standards occurs, the trip starts for me. Now I am basically a child looking at my world and life. I judge things from the perspective of an outsider <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I am basically a child looking at my world and life. I judge things from the perspective of an outsider</div></div> (that is why I think many people report learning so much from acid). At this point in my trip, there is usually a pattern that starts to show up on everything and continue throughout that trip (the pattern is different every trip). I think that this pattern is a physical manifestation of the patterns of life that I notice while I am tripping. That is to say that every trip (for me at least) has recurring inexplicable themes that only I can understand (If you've tripped a few times, you might know what I mean, but then again it could be me). After usually about five to six hours, the change in perspective starts to subside and my consciousness begins to regain structure. The patterns are still all over everything and my brain feels somewhat drained. This 'aftertrip' for me is a period of reflection where I recall all of the recurring patterns (visual as well as pertaining to life).
<br>
<br>
This next part is about how my mind functions outside of my trip mentality:
<br>
I think the repeated use of acid has given me HPPD (I don't quite remember what it stands for but it means that I have some effects of acid while I'm not tripping). Basically, I see patterns all over lots of things during the day and can see a spirit that stays with me most of the time (the spirit isn't evil, but I'm not sure if it's good either) (I hope I didn't lose credibility with this statement, but it's the truth. There's an orb kind of spirit and we communicate usually at night). Also I have that thing where some things look huge and some things look small (Like I see buildings but they seem like I could crush them with my foot).
<br>
<br>
Acid has also made me more empathetic and given me the ability to listen to people without any pre-formed notions of what they are trying to say. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Acid has also made me more empathetic and given me the ability to listen to people without any pre-formed notions of what they are trying to say.</div></div> Before I became an acid user, I had a firm grip on good and evil and what was right and wrong (I thought I did). I did not realize the immensity of each and every (fully mentally functioning) human being's thought process. I felt like I was the only person who thinks all of the time and that all of my trains of logic were correct. The debasement of standards that acid gives me caused me to realize that there is a completely different reality in every human being's head. While I kind of knew this before I tripped, I realized what the implications of the idea were through acid. Behind every person's beliefs (even if the viewpoint is opposite of yours) there is a perfectly cogent and logical series of supporting facts, no one holds a belief to be true without knowing in his/her mind that it is true. I realized that I cannot change someone's mind by arguing. This also made me realize that many of the notions that I have in my head may be wrong or may be ill-based because of my biased perspective.
<br>
<br>
There are also a lot of huge metaphysical/astrophysical theories that I have derived and thought out through acid that I am afraid to put on the internet because of idea-theft.
<br>
<br>
I do not think I am done using acid and feel like I have only begun to unravel the mysteries of the drug itself and life itself. I will stop using it when I find that the time is right to stop.
<br>
<br>
I know that the effects of a drug are different for everyone due to the unique brain chemistry of every individual. However, I hope that I have provided you with some insight as to what acid does.
<br>
<br>
Best Wishes,
<br>
Arte the Land Octopus<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2006</td><td width="90">ExpID: 58615</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 3, 2018</td><td>Views: 894</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=58615&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=58615&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Retrospective / Summary (11), Entities / Beings (37), HPPD / Lasting Visuals (40), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Not Applicable (38)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">300 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/smarts/tryptophan/">Tryptophan - 5-HTP</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Vitamins / Supplements</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 bumps</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/ketamine/">Ketamine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 10:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">125 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 13:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">50 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">vaporized</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dmt/">DMT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 14:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 bumps</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/ketamine/">Ketamine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
As background, I had been experimenting with psychedelics fairly regularly over the past year including mushrooms, LSD, 2C-B, ketamine, 4-ACO-DMT, mescaline and DMT. My favorite trips were going to the beach or art and science museums on 1-2 tabs of LSD, but I wanted to push the boundaries and see how much I could take and still function in public. The experience below was the most I had ever taken in public, let alone in general, and I undertook a fair amount of risk to do so. I had planned ahead by packing food and water, extra phone battery pack, a lighter, flashlight and other basic survival tools. I had a couple of friends who knew what I was undertaking and could call them if absolutely necessary. I started early enough in the day where I would be functional again before darkness set in, so I felt it was a measured but not amount foolhardy risk. As part of my daily routine, I took 2 multivitamins along with 300mg of 5-HTP washed down with a glass of green vegetable juice.
<br>
<br>
(T+0) I began by taking 2 tabs of 175ug (claimed) at noon while still at home. At this point I called an Uber to take me to a nearby beach. The ride to the beach was uneventful. After getting out of the Uber at one of the beach parking lots, I walked down onto the beach and then back up to the main parking lot. I was beginning to get some threshold effects and an altered headspace, but no visuals yet. After reaching the main parking lot, I removed my shoes and walked back onto the beach. I figured I should explore the area so I knew the routes off the beach for later when I had planned to hike back home through the park. I walked down the beach to the bluffs where it ended, noting the few trails that went up and off the beach. It struck me as odd and a bit comical how there were wedding photos being taken on the beach at the same time as nudists were lying out or walking around just out of the camera’s view. At this point, I started to get some visuals of shifting sand and landscape in the distance. I walked back towards the direction of the parking lot along the beach to try to find a good place to sit down and ride out the peak.
<br>
<br>
(T+1) I found a spot in the sand and laid my blanket down. At this point I was a little over an hour in and the visuals were coming on strong. People on the beach were starting to shift forms rapidly and it was becoming difficult to ascertain what their true forms were. Randomly, there appeared to be a photo shoot going on for some organization or event for special needs children. Lots of shouting from photographers of ‘BIG SMILES!’ and ‘EVERYONE HOLD HANDS’ and ‘SAY CHEESEBURGERS!’. I thought this was pretty comical, but also tried not to feel like I was getting in the way, because I was rapidly losing the ability to understand social and cultural boundaries <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I was rapidly losing the ability to understand social and cultural boundaries</div></div>.
<br>
<br>
(T+1.5) I alternated lying back and looking at the sky with raising my head up and inspecting my surroundings. The beach was fairly crowded, though with good spacing between all of the people sitting or lying on the beach. The sands were shifting and writhing and the sky was overlaid with shifting colors. The Marin headlands were a constantly morphing landscape in the distance. Taking care not to fall too deeply, I experimented closing my eyes and saw complex geometry made of light. As I inspected my surroundings, I sensed and visualized cultural and societal boundaries between people. One example of this was a nude man who was striding around the beach. I was unsure whether to be threatened by him, as he seemed to morph from a Neanderthal looking person, to a leathery skinned troll of a man to a somewhat normal looking middle aged man. I took my cues from people around me who were not reacting to him, and this helped me ground myself and not be alarmed. At this point I made the decision to take my third 175ug tab around 1:30PM. I felt that I could probably handle it and be able to hike back in a bit.
<br>
<br>
(T+2) Around this time I lost the ability to use my phone correctly. The screen was a confusion of distortions and buttons I wasn’t familiar with. When trying to text, I would constantly misspell words because it felt like the arrangement of the keys was in more than 2 dimensions. I had so much I wanted to express, but language failed me. At this point I called my girlfriend to try to get grounded, as I was rapidly losing hold of reality. With her on the phone I was able to communicate verbally to some degree, and began packing up my things to start walking. At this point people were morphing so fast and drastically, I lost all ability to interact with anyone. I would look and see what looked like a woman covered in tattoos who quickly morphed into a fat old man and other forms, faster than I could process. I averted my eyes from anyone and started walking.
<br>
<br>
(T+2.5) As I walked along the beach to try to find my way back to the parking lot, but it became apparent that this was going to be very challenging. As I walked, I sensed a couple on the beach reacting towards me, and realized I had crossed a boundary and was walking into a shot of a photo they were trying to take. I waved in apology and tried to divert my course, but suddenly I found myself surrounded by what I saw as societal and cultural boundaries that manifested in lines on the beach. I could not trust my eyes as to which of these were real or not. I saw what looked like a beach volleyball court set up where I had not seen one before, and with people in every direction, I did not want to start drawing attention to myself again. I resigned myself to staying in one spot on the beach and set my shoes down and crouched down, unable to move. I was trying to convey this to my girlfriend, who was still on the phone with me, but she was having a hard time hearing me due to the wind.
<br>
<br>
As I was trying to figure out what to do next, I noticed what I sensed was an older couple, because of their pace and gait, and figured they would be heading off the beach. I trailed them, while trying not to seem like I was following them and it eventually led me off the beach to a set of stairs. I climbed the stairs and found myself on a trail that led through a battery and then to picnic grounds and to the parking lot. I was still unable to tell boundaries such as trails or paths or protected areas and so I asked my girlfriend to FaceTime me and act as my eyes to get me back to the parking lot. Everything around me was constantly changing, a path would turn into shrubbery, and I started to get worried I would walk off a bluff or fall off the battery path. It took significant effort, but I was finally able to switch my camera around so that my girlfriend could see what I was seeing. I was trying not to point the camera at people, because I sensed this would draw attention to myself. This made it difficult for my girlfriend to see when I would constantly keep pointing the camera at the ground or at the beach to try to pretend I was just a normal person showing someone the great view. It was Fleet Week and the Blue Angels were flying in formation across the sky. It was a prime viewing area, but to me the jets were just a subtle backdrop for the ever changing and colorful landscape.
<br>
<br>
(T+3) Eventually, with my girlfriend’s help, I made it to the parking lot. I had been to this parking lot many times and was able to navigate my way to the structure containing the restrooms. I found a bench and sat down. I was again psychedelically crippled by being unable to interact with anyone because of the constant shifting of people’s forms. Even cars were shifting so fast that I would be unable to find an Uber if it had come to pick me up. I resigned that I would have to wait out the peak sitting on the bench until I was able to function again. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I resigned that I would have to wait out the peak sitting on the bench until I was able to function again.</div></div> I calculated the hours left of daylight vs. when I had dosed and figured I would be able to function again before the sun went down. At this time it was about 3PM, three hours after my initial dose and one and a half hours since my third tab. The audio quality was bad where I was sitting, so I tried to get up and roam around the parking lot to get a better signal.
<br>
<br>
As I walked to the edge of the parking lot and looked back, it was as if a veil was lifted and suddenly reality came back in a flash. It was a normal beautiful day with the sun shining and people going about their business on the beach. I told my girlfriend that I was ok and that maybe I would try to hike back after all. We hung up and I used the restroom. I figured I had just gone down a mental rabbit hole and had just managed to get myself out by changing my location. With new resolve I began walking to try to find the trail that would take me through the park and back home. This was easily going to be a 4-5 mile hike. As soon as I found myself back on the trail, it disappeared again and I was back to being unable to function. My girlfriend called me back because apparently I was supposed to call her back after using the restroom, but forgot. Being unable to gauge the reality of my surroundings, I sat on a fallen tree and began to try to articulate the thoughts in my head that were going a mile a minute. I was talking about her being my peer to peer connection to reality and that I was completely separated from everyone else’s reality. I was trying to form an analogy, but not finding the words.
<br>
<br>
(T+4) I finally decided that a hike was not going to be possible and walked back to the parking lot to call an Uber. I waited at the edge of the parking lot and waited 10 minutes or so before the Uber arrived. At this point I was at least able to see the make and model as well as license plate of the cars coming in. As I got into the Uber, which was a nondescript subcompact, I closed the door and was suddenly transported to what felt like India/Middle East. The car interior changed around me to a red and black leather scheme, replacing the drab cloth seats. My driver, had a heavy indian accent and I felt like I was in a luxury pedicab. We made some awkward small talk, as I was having a hard time forming words or conversation. I totally lost the ability to get my bearings. It was as if the world had become a corrupted video game made up of tiles and random tiles would be continually swapping. Every interaction became a dead end, a stop light, a stop sign and constantly change multiple times per second. The cars on the road were also shifting too fast to identify. I had a hard time gauging whether my driver was road raging or just driving normally because I couldn’t decipher his body language or demeanor in my altered state. I resigned myself to just sit back and hope he got me home safely.
<br>
<br>
(T+4.5) At one point, I asked the driver what kind of music he was playing. He told me that it was Punjabi music, from the part of India his mother was from. We began talking about India and he asked me if I had been. I told him about my trip to India and he asked if I had seen the Taj Mahal, which I had. At this point the driver shared how he had never seen it and that his life had always been so busy that it was a blur and now he never got to spend time with his parents. He started crying while we were at the stop light. I asked if he wanted to pull over and he quickly became defensive asking if I wanted to take a different route home. I said that didn’t matter to me, and I was just concerned for him. He thanked me and regained his composure, saying how he had to endure abuse from tourists and other fares all day on how he was taking the wrong way or not the best way. I told him to not worry about them and he thanked me for my kindness. He dropped me off at my apartment and I was finally home safe. Even my own home looked strangely alien, but I knew deep down that I was back in a safe haven. I called my girlfriend on FaceTime to share my cab experience and then went to shower.
<br>
<br>
(T+5.5) After showering I spent some time staring at some tulips I had received. The flowers would bloom and shift before my eyes and it was really beautiful.
<br>
<br>
At this point I decided to go into a k hole. I laid down in bed with headphones and played my playlist and took 3 50-60mg bumps of Ketamine in quick succession. I laid down and prepared to be transported. Within minutes I was completely under, being shown scene after scene of frightening imagery. Forsaken rooms that would melt away into nothingness and drop me into a new landscape. My thoughts would try to describe the horror of what I was seeing, but the words I came up with did not mean anything in any language I know with my sober mind. Despite the nature of the images, I was completely calm throughout the experience. The music drove these visions and for every build up and drop there was epic imagery in my head. I couldn’t tell if my eyes were open or closed, but my field of vision was filled with infinite copies of repeating images that I can’t articulate. It was everything I have come to expect from tripping in a K hole and I experienced total ego loss, which I was comfortable with because I knew I was in a safe place.
<br>
<br>
<!--EDIT: -->As I think more on my trip into the K hole, some of the imagery that I take for granted now comes more into focus with a sober mind. Some of the images I behold are truly awful such as dark and gothic rooms rotting away before my eyes, alien beings that appear to be controlling my visions and showing me scene after scene. I see rooms and structures made of blood and gore and feel I am surrounded by great sadness, suffering and pain. The tone of these visions shift with each song, and I can be transported to the middle of a celebrating crowd, or onto a rollercoaster plunging into infinity, or in a more conceptual world where copies of cartoon-like images bounce and stretch into infinity, with no reference of scale, going from tiny to unbelievably large and epic in scale within seconds. It is worth noting that when in a K hole without acid, these visions are much more tame and less vivid. Despite the extreme content, or maybe because of it, going into a K hole during an acid trip, especially while peaking, is one of my favorite things to do.
<br>
<br>
(T+7) I came out of the K hole slowly, still groggy and went to the bathroom to urinate. As I urinated what seemed an endless stream, persona after persona would melt away from me, as if I was multiple beings getting drained away as I drained into the toilet bowl. At one point I felt as if someone else was holding my penis as I was urinating. It was a very strange feeling. As I finished urinating, I felt somewhat back to reality, hoping that none of my personas were still in bed and that I wasn’t peeing myself.
<br>
<br>
I went back to bed and continued to listen to music to ride out the remnants of the Ketamine high. At this time it was getting dark out and I was hungry. I was trying to decide whether to order in or go out, and so asked a few friends who was free to meet up. I ended up coordinating going to a steak house with my friend L. to share my trip story. I got dressed and she picked me up and we went to a place several blocks from me. It was about 9PM (T+9) and I no longer had any visuals, but still had the frenetic energy and thoughts that LSD gives me. We had a fairly normal dinner, I just had one cocktail and nice steak. L. offered me some cocaine, but I declined.
<br>
<br>
(T+10.5) After returning home, I thought about what to do next. I concluded I wanted to test out some MDMA I had acquired recently in a non-club setting and dropped 125mg with water. While awaiting the come up, I put on the movie Edge of Tomorrow, which I had seen before, but enjoyed enough to repeat viewing. After 45 minutes or so I began to feel very relaxed and contented. I decided to lie down again in bed and listen to music.
<br>
<br>
(T+13) After another hour or so I was feeling pretty good and decided to take it up a notch and smoke some DMT. This substance had frustrated me because of my poor technique that led me to never break through. I had left the music on, as I had never tried DMT with music. I measured out 50mg and put it into my pipe and vaporized it. The first hit was smooth and I felt an altered headspace after between 10 and 15 seconds. I took another hit and the familiar threshold visuals began to take hold. I exhale and took the third hit, with pipe and all of my surroundings becoming alien and completely unfamiliar. Then, I had finally achieved it, blast off. Visuals came forcefully and I felt as if I was in a Mayan maze of a video game with patterns and shapes shooting at me faster than I could process. I came to several minutes later, pipe and lighter lying between my legs where I had dropped them. I tried to process what had happened, but the images were already fleeting. The music had been present throughout, but it felt as if the music was in one world (the familiar one) and I was in a different one, so I didn’t feel it impacted the actual DMT experience. I contemplated another 10-20 minutes or so and then decided to try again, this time in silence. This trip was much like the first one, with the same rush and the same complexity and overwhelming visuals. As I came to the second time, I sat again in contemplative silence for another 20-30 minutes. I felt like I had my fill of DMT for the night, but it was exhilarating to finally experience a break through.
<br>
<br>
(T+14) It was now around 2AM, 14 hours after my first two tabs of acid. The traces of the roll were still present, and I decided to cap the night off with another dose of Ketamine. I took 2 75mg bumps in quick succession again and decided to try the k hole in total darkness. I usually prefer having some light in the room, as I feel it helps give more character to the visuals, but I have friends who swear by total darkness. This time, I felt like I only hit the threshold of a K hole, perhaps due to short term resistance I had built up from doing it earlier in the evening, but it was a mellow yet epic journey nonetheless.
<br>
<br>
As I came out of the K hole I found myself again in a very introspective state. It was about 3:30AM and I decided to call it a night. I hopped in the shower and then fiddled with my phone until falling asleep at around 5AM. I slept like a baby and awoke the next morning refreshed, though a bit mentally fatigued.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2015</td><td width="90">ExpID: 107193</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 36</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 12, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,298</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=107193&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=107193&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Ketamine (31) : Various (28), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">118 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
-This report was written 3 days following the experience
<br>
<br>
Me and my Boyfriend ill call him Sam both took half a tab of LSD not long ago while staying in a beach condo by the ocean. I was feeling scared to take the acid because of a bad prior experience but my friends told me my prior experience was a research chemical being sold as LSD so I figured I would give it another shot. I suggested half a tab to start since I was told it was really strong and I was feeling super nervous.
<br>
<br>
1 Beginning:
<br>
<br>
We took a half tab of LSD each and watched a movie on Netflix while we waited for it to kick in. The LSD gave me serious diarrhea I had to get up and use the bathroom maybe 5 times and eventually gave up watching the movie to sit in the living room to meditate. This was the first time I've ever really reached enlightenment from meditation. Everything turned into light and I felt like I was no longer my body but I was the surface of my skin. My body felt like an empty shell being filled by light and I was the feeling of the ocean breeze. Sam wasn’t feeling the acid kick in yet so he kept bothering me and snapping me out of it. I tried getting him to join me in meditation but it wasn’t hitting him very much yet.
<br>
<br>
Sam wanted me to go downstairs and cuddle with him. I was pretty reluctant because I was feeling so good meditating but he was insistent so I went. We cuddled for a bit and then we both got up to use the bathroom. When I looked in the bathroom mirror I felt like I could see through my skin and I don’t mean like flesh and blood I mean I could see my essence. Under my skin it was fragments of gray rot constantly shifting. I looked repulsive, demonic even. I looked like my soul was void of love and joy and just filled with pain. I had to turn off the lights and leave, I just couldn’t bear looking any longer. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text"> I looked like my soul was void of love and joy and just filled with pain. I had to turn off the lights and leave, I just couldn’t bear looking any longer. </div></div>
<br>
<br>
When I walked out of the bathroom Sam was walking down the steps. I told him what happened and that I thought I was a monster and asked if I was really that ugly. He consoled me and made me feel a lot better.
<br>
<br>
I don’t remember much of what happened between this and when we got back downstairs on the bed so I’m going to fast-forward to the scene on the bed.
<br>
<br>
2 Middle:
<br>
<br>
We were both downstairs laying on the bed staring at the ceiling. I was watching the flat popcorn ceiling turn into 3 dimensional layers of surfaces and shift. I started telling a story my friend told me about how a cat would sleep on his friends face to try to kill him. This made Sam super upset. He just couldn’t stand my story. I consoled him to make him feel better and this is when things got REALLY BAD.
<br>
<br>
He started kissing me softly and being gentle, affectionate and warm. He got closer and with his head in front of my face looking down he said in a soft voice “You know how you said you were a monster earlier?” he looked up with his face centimeters away from mine. His eyes were bulging out of his head and pointing in different directions. He had a grin on his face and he whispered “well you are”.
<br>
<br>
I don’t know how to explain this but the life literally got sucked out of the room. I truly feel like this was the moment a demon emerged from my boyfriend’s body and got a grasp of the surface of his mind. I felt scared for my life, like he was going to kill me at any moment. I was alone with an empty man in a silent room. I tried snapping him back to reality and was like “SAM what was that?!” he said he was trying to make me feel the way he felt. He started acting normal again and the room was no longer a glimpse of hell. I ignored what happened and proceeded to have a good time.
<br>
<br>
3 Middle Peak:
<br>
<br>
We went upstairs and this was the peak of my trip. Sam’s face turned into a pattern of faces stretching down from his chin and up from his forehead. His physical face occurred to me was a crystalized form of the pattern. His eyes repeated on his eyebrow and the dent on the forehead. I was incapable of responding to him I was too caught up in the other world to react. Every bend in the ocean turned into fragments of soft glass reflecting the sky. It was so beautiful.
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We went outside but Sam got super bad anxiety so we came back in immediately. I was so disappointed I couldn’t go swimming but he said we stuck out too bad. I tried explaining that he was just being paranoid but that threw him into a rampage of complaining and insulting me. He snapped out of it and realized what he did. This then happened a few more times and when he snapped out of it he was crying and saying he was a monster for treating me so badly all the time. He was crying and crying saying I should leave him and that he should die. This was the first time in the 2 years of dating him that he’s EVER admitted to doing anything wrong, other than this one time everything that goes wrong in our relationship or his life has always been my fault. Usually he screams at me and makes my life unbearable until I say sorry and take the blame, but not this time. He apologized for everything he’s ever done and I told him I loved him forever and everything was okay. We proceeded to have a great rest of the night. I went to draw and he did math.
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The next day:
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The next day he strangled me. This was the first time he ever physically hurt me. I was washing the dished and he silently came up behind me and put his hands around my neck just tight enough so that I could not breathe. I knew that if I struggled his grip would get stronger so I stood there catatonic listening to him. He whispered in a soft voice behind me that I was a monster and that he was wrong about the day before, I was responsible for his pain and suffering. He grabbed me by my hair and threw me onto the couch pinning me down. I was petrified, frozen with tears running down my face. He kept screaming demanding a response but I couldn’t come up with anything. He went into the kitchen and swallowed 10 pills. He said he was killing himself. I started bawling crying demanding he throw them up, but then he said he faked it and then drank a 1/4th bottle of rum.
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The rest of the day was hell. I was scared for my life. I had to clean up the beach house before we left and sometimes he would sneak up on me and just stand there looking at me with a crazy smile on his face in silence. I actually had to go outside on the balcony in view of other people so that he would not hurt me. Aside from fearing for my life the colors on the balcony were amazing. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Aside from fearing for my life the colors on the balcony were amazing.</div></div> The sand looked like a beautiful pink against the blue sky.
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The last few days have been really bad he has repeatedly threatened to kill me and I don’t know what to do or what happened to my boyfriend. He has always been mean but never like this. His father used to beat his wife but I didn’t think that would mean Sam was violent.
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Conclusion:
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While I had a fantastic trip I think the LSD brought something evil inside of Sam to the surface. I used to think drugs were for everyone but now I certainly don’t, I see how it can sometimes bring the worst out of people instead of the best. I am very unsure of what to do with our relationship and how to fix this, or if I can even fix this.<!-- End Body -->
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<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 112132</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 22</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 20, 2018</td><td>Views: 2,232</td></tr>
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<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
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<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">120 lb</td>
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Melting Art, Witches, Entity Contact and The Akashic Records. My first LSD Trip:
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I took the sugar cube around 8 or 8:30pm in front of a 7/11 while the dealer was right there. After he left I walked in the opposite direction down this street to my Russian friend's house which is pretty much already right there. I go inside to do some weed related business I guess and I still have the sugar cube melting in my mouth and my Russian friend saw this and was just kind of laughing and amused by it and kind of surprised but afterwards after I dropped off whatever it is that I needed to I somehow or other linked up with my other friend near 7/11 who is kind of a tweaker but he's not that bad. He's the one who introduced me to the dealer but the dealer was not fucked up or tweakerish at all. Anyways I somehow or another meet with this tweaker kid who I had been hanging out with in that part of town lately anyways, he was gonna smoke me out behind Vons. It was a really kind of run down scummy looking area that was very bleak and almost like a sewer (it was right near a sewer) with people’s back condo windows behind it and we were sitting on these stairs smoking weed and I was looking at the giant whiteish but dark wall for the whole backside of Vons just kind of lumber over me and it began to take on an ominous and abstract sort of vibe. The wall also seemed to kind of “ripple” but in a mental way and look less like a solid wall/surface and more like a liquid but these effects were super super faint and mostly just mental. The real trip hadn't even started yet this was just the creeping up part similar to mushrooms. It’s also important to point out that I very well thought that this 'LSD' was total garbage. I didn't think real LSD was even around anymore. I had taken tons of “acid' in the past but it was all bunk or weak crap so I thought that's how this would be but I soon found out I was wrong.
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After a while of smoking weed and weird creeping up vibes (this is only 15 -20 minutes after I took the hit) we left the back of Vons and shut the gate behind us and my tweaker 'friend' dips out on me and says he has to leave like he always does so we head in opposite directions and I head up towards my neighborhoods in the more suburban part of town still having the feeling in my mind that this 'acid' wasn't real acid. I mean it was only $10 a hit so how could it be? I've bought 15 -$20 hits in the past that were complete crap. So why would this stuff be different?
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The next thing that happened though really threw me off guard. I crossed the street to walk up this hill back to suburbia and then this motorcycle zooms right past me while I'm on the sidewalk and it's driving down the street and it was so startling and loud. I didn't physically flinch I don't think but in my head I definitely did and I was thinking wow that was loud and surprising and so I realized at that point I was definitely feeling the effects of the drug whatever drug chemical this is.
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After that though oddly enough nothing seemed to happen and I even took the long way home which was at least another 15 or 20 minutes and I noticed no effects during that time.
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The next thing that happens is I come to the very end of my neighborhood still not at my house and don’t really feel high or anything at least not that I could tell, I didn't even feel the weed but my tolerance was high so I wasn’t really thinking about it. Anyways I didn’t feel like I was on anything or maybe just forgot I was but I’m just sitting on this stone wall in front of these houses texting my OTHER friend who lives down the street from me who is actually like a real friend and he’s the one I trip with the most. I don’t remember if I told him to come out and take this other hit of acid or if I was just seeing what he was doing and if he could hang out but as I’m sitting there (and I swear this happened exactly like in a movie or something) this random pitbull just comes out of nowhere and began inspecting the area I’m around including me and is sniffing all around and then a little while later I stand up and the dog’s owner who is this lady who lives right next to there comes from her driveway and looks very surprised and says “Whoa come here boy (the dog), wow I’m surprised he didn’t maul you or start barking like crazy” and then she starts laughing and this weird vectorial feeling took place in my mind while all these physical motions and events started to happen in this strange order and consistency. She was just very curious as to why the dog wasn’t barking or going crazy. She told me she had seen me around before and wondered who I was and we both struck up what would then be a pretty long and immersive conversation. It first started out with me walking over there and facing her over on the side of her driveway but facing away from her house and her driveway. There was a black gate behind me and a tree on the sidewalk in front of me across from the gate and she was standing in front of the tree and I was facing her direction which was the direction of the dark street. This is when things got crazy.
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Something about the lamp lighting from her driveway shining on her and the tree behind her with just darkness behind the tree and the strange mysterious look of the tree itself I got this really dark mythical type vibe and these really fantasy-driven, imaginative, crazy and kind of fantasy inspired delusional thoughts and feelings about her and the place I was at. This developed into visuals as well as altered perceptions of what I was seeing. I started getting feelings and visions that she was some kind of witch or mythological character and I was “trespassing” on her…swamp?…cabin…? In her woods?….I don’t know I was just having the most retarded, crazy, folklorish and eerie thoughts just constantly coming to my mind and not in a psychotic or intense way but I could just feel my imagination running wild and showing itself on my visual perception of her and this setting. ItIt was at this point that I knew this was actual LSD and that it clearly was still around today lol. Put me in a pretty good mood too. That’s also when the trip fully hit me and when I entered pretty much what I consider the real LSD space where nothing seemed normal. Nothing, and it hit me much harder and faster and more sudden than mushrooms ever had. It was like dabbing hash oil vs smoking weed; it just hit me all at once instead of gradually and in an undulating fashion like with mushrooms.
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She seemed very short at one point too when she walked around and made movements and she seemed like a witch/gnome hybrid or mix or something odd like that. Like some kind of mythical or folklorish character or archetype that hadn’t been named yet. She almost seemed to look kind of ogreish in some ways and the way her mouth looked started to change. I remember her hair looked extremely trippy and vivid and seemed really vibrant and glossy and at some points even started changing lengths and texture. It also became clear to me that I was on real shit because I began to view her visually from a nonhuman alien perspective and my whole attitude about what I was seeing was drastically changed and broadened.
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If I hadn't had tried any tryptamines prior to this it probably would have scared the shit out of me and shocked/perplexed me too much to carry on a conversation with someone I had just met. It was very strange being around someone who doesn't know you're on acid either. Especially after lengthy first time encounters. She was smoking a cigarette and the smell was really clear and intense. Despite me tripping the hell out and the acid hitting me for the first time I still carried out a very long conversation with her. We talked for what seemed like hours about what seemed like everything. We talked about alcohol, whiskey, weed, college, music, concerts, the neighborhood, break ins and crime and a bunch of stuff…it was one of the most interesting and wonderful conversations I have ever had with another human being despite the whole eerie, folkloric, Wiccan vibe I was feeling and seeing at first. This eventually changed as we changed positions and new archetypes in the trip started to show as well as the colors. At one point she walked towards the driveway so I’m looking at her standing in the driveway where it’s considerably brighter and more lit up; no longer having delusional thoughts or fantasies still talking to her about crime in the neighborhood or whatever and I noticed that everything behind her, on the side of her and in my peripherals all the colors and everything started to look really melty and liquidy. Everything in my peripherals all the colors and objects started to just blend together and it looked like swirled melty colorful paint, it was what I would call ‘psychedelic tunnel vision’.
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This was one of those effects or visuals that most people would probably expect to get from a psychedelic drug. When in reality these squiggly, colorful, artistic lines and fluids are trivial in the context of the experience.
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Even the clearer more intense floral and arabesque patterns I would see later in the trip were somewhat trivial when it came to the main point of the experience.
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I remember at one point I’m standing behind this black gate thing while she’s in the driveway on the other side and the edges of the black bars of the gate began to vibrate and I wanted to laugh at it and point it out because I knew it wasn’t normal and it had to be the LSD but knew I would just look like a werido but man the blackness of the bars vibrating was really cool looking and how my eyes kept changing their levels of focus on certain objects. The architecture there was interesting, it was like this strange black gating on top of this brick wall and with thorny rose bushes and roses behind it the whole area had a semi gothic appeal looking back on it now. Even had a bit of a dark bricky but ecclesiastical appeal or at least it seemed that way. I’d probably appreciate it much more now.
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Eventually her husband popped his head outside (obviously because she was talking to me forever) and to her he was just like…”What are you doing..?” he looked so puzzled as to why she was even talking to me. And she’s like “This is Ryan! He lives in the neighborhood I was getting to know him.” The way he looked physically was…well funny and cartoonish. He literally looked animated in some kind of way or just really surreal and corky like a real life cartoon and felt that he was just another funny unique cartoon character in this world who had something of his own to say whether it was nice or not. He’s a pretty big (fat) guy and at this time he looked just completely round..like literally round and his whole body and his head was just another round sphere on top of this bigger round sphere which was his body. It was just like 2 circles stacked on each other and his slight concernment had me kind of amused and I wanted to laugh at the surreal situation. He tells her something like “well…you should come inside” or something along those lines and I can’t remember how long after that but we eventually part ways and she goes back in or something and I leave to finally go and meet up with my friend to give him the acid because he still hadn’t taken it and I was already knee dip in this experience apparently.
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I go walking down my neighborhood to meet up with my friend and don't see any noticeable visuals or anything on the way there probably because it’s dark but he comes out and we're walking and I...can't ...find .. the acid
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I can't find it anywhere because it's not in the foil wrapper and I'm kind of freaking out and looking for it on the ground and shit and so is my friend and we don't see it anywhere and then eventually I reach in my flannel pocket and pull out the sugar cube. I started freaking out because it wasn't in the foil like it was supposed to be and was just thinking oh shit what if it went completely bad? But my friend takes it and then laughs saying he was looking for like a 'crack rock' looking thing. He didn't think it would be an actual legit good sized sugar cube.
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After this (it's probably about 9:30pm or 10) we head back by my house then back behind my back yard in this canyon area behind my house and like 40 other houses in the area. A southern Californian deserty verdant/kind of tropical looking canyon with a creek and a few bridges separating the houses from the main trail and the abundance of trees in the middle. But anyways we're just sitting there, in the darkness and he was asking me if I was hallucinating and I said no because at that point in time I wasn't. Even though I was hallucinating up a storm just earlier at this particular time I wasn't and it was just really dark and cloudy. There were no stars out. It wasn't very 'visual' at this time mostly just my attitude and perception towards everything was different, I was smiling like crazy and talking like a fool sort of and it was just more of a feeling than hallucinating. And I told him that; that it was more of a feeling and he's just like;
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'ya.. It's probably meth'
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Because he had this same idea that I previously did which was that real LSD no longer existed and probably thought like me that you couldn't get anything mystical or profound from something even just a little synthetic.
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Eventually one of us or both of us prompt the idea to go to our Russian friend's house I went to earlier down near the 7/11. Or maybe the guy called us I don't remember but we both knew that's where we wanted to be because his house may be kind of shitty and weirdly foreign but his mom didn't care if we smoked weed or took psychedelics so we were down. I assume 10 to 20 minutes later is when we arrived there by walking and when we go inside his place or I guess just that part of town in general the whole vibe of the trip becomes much more upbeat and 'real'. We arrive to his place and sit down in his dining room with the kitchen and living room right there and I’m telling him about how I'm on acid and he's like 'haha I know. I saw you take that shit' He then turns the lights on and they both see that my pupils are fucked and my Russian friend's just like 'Holy sh...You look like you're on a good one bro..'
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And they both knew psychedelics very well and the way I was looking around at everything along with my pupils they saw that I was actually tripping and my other friend my close friend got happy and started saying 'wow I guess I will feel it after all' but I was still kind of worried that my friend wasn't going to feel the acid because it was out of the foil for a bit and it could have lost some of its potency and I expressed this idea to them vocally lol but we all agreed he'll still probably feel it.
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A bit later I see this geography earth science book and on the cover is that classic picture of those sand dunes that you see geologists and geology books reference so much. I noticed how the swirly patterns on the dunes almost matched the swirls in the wood pattern of the table we were sitting at and kept looking at them and comparing the two in awe and both of them saw this and my friend was just like “ya I should be feeling it anytime now.”
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Shortly after this one of the strangest and most unique things that has ever happened to me occurred. It started with me smoking a few bong loads I think and then while they were talking about something I sort drifted off into my own world. I entered a trancelike state that was like nothing else I have ever experienced on any kind of drug. It wasn't like an exotic or enchanted hypnosis/mindfuck like with mushrooms it was instead just..a trance. A classic trance and I don't know how long it lasted because I lost complete concept of EVERYTHING.
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Literally everything around me and ideas about where I was were no longer being perceived and I wasn't aware of my surroundings only my consciousness and I entered this dreamlike state (literally) where I began to very very vividly remember a dream I kept having at that period of time in my life and it involves me in that canyon coincidentally enough and I began to really explicitly feel like I was in that dream again and not just in that dream but in the whole dream world. The whole dream mindset and the whole abstract strange unexplainable feeling of dreams I slowly started to remember. I didn't even fucking know I had this dream let alone multiple times but the LSD somehow made me remember.
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Like it just put me in this phenomenological trance which then put me into the dream mindset? But I remember how just by entering this mindset and this 'dream' headspace I was somehow able to know and internally confirm that I had remembered details from a REAL dream that I had had that I couldn't remember sober and I was also somehow able to understand that this dream had happened so many times before and that the dream headspace was so strange yet so familiar and so bizarre to be experiencing while supposedly wide awake in your Russian friend's kitchen. Or dining room whatever but it doesn't matter because I had completely forgotten that I was in that dining room there with them I don't even think I knew if I was awake or not. Dreams and dreaming have never been the same for me since this experience. I don't know how long that whole trance or whatever lasted but it couldn't have been that long because when I snapped back to reality in the most sudden and puzzling way ever I saw they were still having a conversation and smoking I believe I turned down the bong for a certain amount of time up to this point. I was no longer interested in anything to do with weed. Apparently my close friend was though because he really wanted to feel the LSD and he figured smoking would boost everything which he was right...
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When I snapped back to reality I was stunned. I didn't even think experiences like that were possible.. I had the most intensely puzzled look on my face when I snapped back and realized I was just sitting there staring off into space on the desk not looking at them. After this I look at them and notice my friend who took the acid is now laughing hysterically and talking louder and my Russian friend has to tell him to quiet down because it’s late and his mom was trying to relax in her room or something. I can tell he's feeling it and he can tell too and those bong loads probably intensified it for him like it did for me.
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But anyways after that trance was when I started to kind of see the magic in the substance and realized it was some serious shit. Who knows what's gonna happen next.. Strange to think that this is still just the beginning and my other friend is JUST now starting to feel the acid. This was gonna be a long and crazy night. Little did I know it would only get even more strange and psychedelic.
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I remember they were talking about something and laughing but I wasn't paying attention to them. I was just being high on acid laughing at random things, laughing at essentially nothing really and then they see me laughing and they I guess were talking about some kind of inside joke or something that happened to just them and they thought I was laughing with them just to be cool or something even though I wasn't even listening or paying attention to them I was just laughing at nothing because I was on acid and they tried talking shit haha. I don't know how they forgot I was on acid and that people who are tripping are obviously going to laugh at nothing and I wasn't even listening to their conversation anyways but this didn't occur to them. Not sure if I have explained it to them or not but it just really sort of annoyed me. My Russian friend was actually doing that the whole night, he kept treating us like we weren't on anything or like he somehow forgot that we were tripping. He even mentioned at some point that he forgot. It's probably because everyone who was there was pretty much just experienced with and knowledgable about psilocybin mushrooms and they all take that drug fairly seriously, it seems that it was both of them but now it's just my Russian friend who didn't take acid too seriously.
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My tripping friend eventually did after trying the acid obviously but my Russian friend seems to have a bias against synthetics. He (like us) never dreamed a synthetic could give an experience of cosmic consciousness or really even understand how it could. I don't blame him either but anyways both me and my friend on acid are both very awake at this point, everything is very vibrant and I want to say kind of artistic and perceptual. We both feel very zestful and excited at this point and we’re having a pretty good time. All three of us wax on about philosophies and even some stupid scary subjects like the Russian Sleep experiment. It’s almost like our Russian friend was trying to trip us out or really get our thoughts going which I should have known but had no problem with. He even at one point tried to bring up different LSD myths about people cracking their backs in his house before and having 'LSD flashbacks' even though that is not even remotely close to how flashbacks really work and I explained this all to him and whatever. He even tried to bring up some kid who had a flashback and “died because he had a seizure” and I didn’t believe him for one second (obviously because it’s bullshit) and just said “Fuck him, I’m glad he’s dead.” I think I even started laughing after I said that.
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This kind of emotionally bothered my other tripping friend who was still coming up but whatever. The situation would only get more off putting and emotionally striking later down the line he and I just didn’t know this. I remember eventually at some point my friend is fully tripping he’s just staring at the painting on the wall behind me. It was a rustic relief painting that was actually pretty cool and looked pretty creative and semi appealing at the time and I just for some reason decided to be kind of an asshole and say “na..it looks like shit kinda. Just..fake” haha and looking back it really didn’t but I couldn’t help but feel how fake everything man made seemed. The painting and wall seemed very shadowy and alive but also subject to possible distortions. It was a really weird kind of perception.
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My friend was probably in a whole other stage of the acid trip at this point, he was probably at the eerie mythological swirly colorful stage. I can see artwork really grabbing a hold of your creativity and imagination at that stage but in this new stage I was in I had already gone through that trance and this stage was more clearheaded but my perception of everything was soo different and more ‘real'. Around this time our Russian friend told us to leave the house temporarily like walk around the block or something and come back in a bit and so we did and I remember going outside the feeling I had about myself I felt so primitive and ‘human’ but also like an animal. Hard to explain really but I was just in this very primal fight or flight mindset. Not as intense and as atavistic as the primal feeling from shrooms, this was a little more cartoony and surreal and felt less ‘wild’. But this primal fight or flight feeling was very clear and there; like anything could happen at anytime whether good or bad and I would have to be front and center to deal with it. I had no more concept of material things or possessions and personal property and I think this is when my ego started to vanish and become small and my vulnerability started to go up. We made our way out of his mini condo driveway area after making a few confusing stops on his property under this large tree. The whole area was very dark and hidden and had a strange but sort of nice vibe. All these different locations gave off such different vibes it was really quite interesting. It was like LSD was just the magnifier of everything. The giant tree over us looked so weird and different, all the plants and trees did.. My tripping friend was doing something on his phone, we then leave and walk around the main street for a bit then eventually come back to the Russian friend’s place.
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I don’t remember when exactly this was but at some point we’re at the dining room smoking weed and my other tripping friend is super interested in the weed and by how dank it was. I don’t even remember who’s weed it was. My attitude and the way I looked at weed was definitely different at the time, it was really weird looking at weed but it wasn’t like I was really digging it necessarily. I was just uninterested in weed at the time whereas my other friend couldn’t get enough of it. I remember me and my tripping friend kept having to piss and kept having to go to the bathroom the whole night. I remember going the first or second time and afterwards I looked in the mirror. My tweaker friend told me in the future after this experience that looking at yourself in the mirror while on acid is “the fucking trip of your life”.
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I did look in the mirror and I have done this on shrooms before so it wasn’t too new, it was really only minimally different. I see myself and I have this vibrational higher dimensional alien/hybrid look to my face and my skin and I looked very detailed. I have had this alien/hybrid look to my face before on mushrooms but this felt a little less alien and more vibratory and yea…just like I popped in from some higher dimensional plane temporarily. The bathroom was very dirty but I was used to it and this feeling of looking in the mirror felt so legendary and personal that it made up for the bathroom being dirty. I felt that by looking in this mirror knee deep in my LSD trip it made me feel like I was a part of something that so many other people have been a part of as well. I felt like I was just another participant in this legendary trip or weird dimension.
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At some point when I return back to the dining room table I start looking around the table and this one piece of paper caught my eye. I guess this was a letter…a private letter but how was I supposed to know? It was in plain view along with everything else and not even hidden so why would it be private? I wasn’t even thinking about what it was or might be. The only reason my eyes were drawn to it was because the table was a mess with papers and books but it was the only thing on the table that had cursive writing on it so visually it really stuck out. At least with the LSD mindset.
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I can’t even read in cursive so I picked up this letter which I didn’t know was private and proceeded to try and figure out and read or make out even just a few words so I started saying it out loud but not really saying much because I couldn’t read it and then my Russian friend sees what I’m doing and get’s absolutely FURIOUS and tries to fucking punch me nearly…he threw a swing like he was about to punch me but didn’t touch me and he had a really aggressive look on his face. He was holding the bong as well which was pretty funny but as he did this motion he yelled “Whooaaa that’s a private fucking letter man!” and at the same time my other tripping friend is completely thrown off and confused and like 'wtf”..he said “whoa” right when my angry Russian friend did and the vibe of everything just went sour and aggressive instantly and I could tell my tripping friend was very surprised and offended by this and he’s definitely not a pussy or anything or a stranger to tripping but I could tell by the look on his face that he had never been in a stressful situation while tripping before. It didn’t play over well with either of them and I was actually the first one to try an calm the situation down and laugh it off.
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Even though I should have been the most frightened one there I just started laughing and making fun of my Russian friend for that and he admitted it was his mistake and he shouldn’t have done that. He just thought I was mocking this private letter of his and what it said and I had to remind him that that wasn’t it and I was just tripping on acid blah blah blah and he admitted he forgot I was on acid and ya I just kept making fun of him lol pointing out the fact that he tried to punch me with the bong in his hand. Eventually he’s like “whatever” and get’s up and goes to a different room to do something but in a non threatening way. More like a “ehh they’re just tripping on acid” type of way. I can read him pretty well. It’s funny because right after he tried to punch me and tell me it was a private letter I was just laughing in his face because I thought he was joking at the time and just trying to mess with me which I think only made him more angry. I thought he was just trying to trip me out. I just kept saying “Are you joking right now? There’s no way you’re serious..” and he’s like “NO! That’s a private fucking letter”. My other friend was kind of worried lol. Even after my Russian friend said “whatever” and got up and left the dining room my other tripping friend still looked concerned and effected by what had just happened. Meanwhile I was still making fun of my Russian friend/kind of apologizing too and then I get the urge to smoke weed so I just grab the bong and start cracking up as I’m hitting it while my other tripping friend across the table is just…well..adjusting to the situation I guess you could say.
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The whole night my Russian friend kept getting in arguments with his mother and he would look so angry and start turning red. All of his emotions looked exaggerated and my other friend after the trip told me the next day about how he seemed so just overly angry that night and he said he felt like our Russian friend was going to literally explode or something because he was so mad and annoyed with his mom and turning red and shit. Almost shaking too. Russian friend kept explaining how her moody bipolarism and constant bitching is the reason he tokes so much weed. I really started to understand their situation more clearly through all of this intuitive based tripping and watching. He explained how she was just fucking off the wall and she would cause a scene just randomly in the middle of the night to yell at him about socks or something.
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Something interesting and kind of crazy was happening this night as well. It was a Friday night (of course because we wanted to “Fry” on Friday) and the girl kind of across the street (a different street) on the right side was having a big party and we all knew her personally for different reasons. I had known her the longest out of all of us, at her house they were seriously turning up and just having the hugest loudest party ever. Me and my friend who is also tripping both kind of want to go over there because it seems sort of cool and wild and we’re pretty good friends with her but our Russian friend had dated that girl in the past and had a bad break up and they really hated each other. Like aggressively hated each other. She even got him jumped one time right outside his house right there, my Russian friend was just kinda like “Fine just go over there if you want to” and started acting like whatever forget about me but me and my tripping friend knew this was an unrealistic plan and that we should just stay there and be fair anyways. There was nothing for us at that party. It was probably just full of drunk white supremacists anyways and my other tripping friend was Mexican so that probably would have been awkward. But this part was just bumping all night like crazy so that kind of became part of our trip in a way. It was still Friday night you know?
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This overall feeling I had at this stage of the trip was like this strange perception I had of everything that was really only unique to the tryptamines. An abrasive, alien and hyperreal look at the universe. Like a mindful cleanse. I began to see faces everywhere too, similar to when on mushrooms. It actually reminded me in some ways of my last strong mushroom trip the rushing ‘cleansing’ feeling and the seeing faces everywhere. And my last strong shroom trip was right across the street from where I was now. A little before this change in perception though the LSD trip became much more profound and seemingly hyperdimensional almost. It felt very cosmic as well and at one point unifying and it felt like I saw and touched the universal consciousness where I invaded its essence and it invaded mine. It was a feeling of oneness. I remember we were listening to classic psychedelic rock music (like we often do) and the Jimi Hendrix song Getting My Heart Back Together (the 5 minute version) we were both so taken away by the sound of the guitar and it was so interesting and satisfying the whole song and that’s when I feel we really understood where that Jimi Hendrix guitar sound actually comes from and why it’s so perfect for acid. So electric and vibrational. Music felt so much more vibrational than it usually does when tripping on shrooms. On shrooms music sounds more distorted and echoey but on acid the music seemed to sound better? More ascetically pleasing and more vibrational. Both are very emotionally touching and deep however.
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Shortly after that song something that I once again never believed was possible happened to both of us. After listening to Jefferson Airplane and Jimi Hendrix we put on the Beatles…
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We put on the song Across the Universe and holy shit…..life changing…
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I guess this is when we probably peaked (before the real abrasive rush) but I don’t know it was weird and I felt like I almost had multiple peaks and things were kind of out of order but I guess that was just the cycles of acid. Even though we both took the Acid at different times we still somehow were experiencing the same effects at the same time and having the same feelings and almost same thoughts about everything and we both experienced a peak experience at this time. So ya I guess we peaked while listening to Across the Universe and it was far too profound and spiritual and meaningful to even begin to put into words and it was just truly life changing and amazing for both of us. It was one of those you had to be there type experiences, you can never know how profound and beautiful and heavenly it was if you have never experienced it yourself this moment felt like everything and like the heavens were raining down and channeling emotional beauty and good energy onto me and my being.
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I’m listening to that song right now as I type this to write this better ha and it still brings back humbling emotional feelings and memories.
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Before this feeling happened of extreme well being and love though it is important to mention that the music itself slowed waaaay down and began to vibrate intensely. This vibration and what seemed to be a slowing down of time manifested something; the musical vibrations themselves seemed to manifest visuals…and I felt like my friend who was tripping saw it and felt it too and we were both speechless just listening to the sounds of the music because it was so vibrational and touching. I’m not sure what my Russian friend was doing at the time but probably something in the kitchen. He kept getting in confrontations with his mother and doing random things. Anyways these visuals that somehow only seemed to exist through the vibrations of the song (the chorus of the song to be specific) these visuals seemed to be predominately green with a small amount of blue and an even smaller amount of red. Maybe some faint yellows? I remember it was mostly green though. It was almost like all those colors combined and became a new blended iridescent color combination. This vibratory color field then appeared to look like..holy shit an entity…Literally a fucking hyperdimensional entity like those reportedly seen on DMT and powerful doses of tryptamines. I was so surprised/confused because I thought things like this were only possible on DMT and ridiculously high doses of Mushrooms and Ayahuasca but not a ..synthetic chemical like LSD…well I have gone much farther on mushrooms than on LSD and I still have never had an experience quite like this. This was a real explicit encounter. And to think that at the beginning of this night I never even thought real LSD even existed let alone that I would be faced with angelic beauty and fucking entity contact that very night while peaking off pure LSD and listening to the Beatles. Well that song has certainly never been the same for either of us since that night to say the least. We even played it multiple times on our next LSD trip to pull us out of a certain gloomy situation. Didn’t really work, just made us more emotional but whatever lol that’s another story.
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But when I perceived and felt this entity and lovely vibrations of the music we felt like we were rained down upon with knowledge and love and cosmic awareness. Felt very alien and yet very heavenly and bright. And of course higher dimensional as well. The experience itself didn’t feel like it was alive (like with shrooms) but it felt like I had come in contact with something that was sentient and conscious..and very wise and important. This ‘entity' at least and it looked and felt slightly mantiod but geometric. I feel like it endowed me with indescribable cosmic knowledge and awareness. It had an alien, metaphysical, vibrational geometric vibe and felt sort of ‘Hindu’ in a way. Much of the trip had this kind of eastern Hindu feeling and clean patterned visual display that was most noticeable when looking at the designs on the small carpets in the living room. They seemed to wrap up and swallow my consciousness at one point. I can’t explain that shit.
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Anyways the entity itself was like geometric but very indescribable and like I said vaguely mantoid as oppose to humanoid. Like a geometric vibratory prey mantis God of some sort. It really only showed itself during the chorus of the song when Paul McCartney would say “Jai Guru Deva Om'. When the chorus wasn’t going it would just be colors but during the chorus and only after this the entity itself would be noticeable and would continue to inject me with universal love and understanding. This is definitely not anywhere close to the average LSD trip which is why I’m writing it down. This is an extremely rare experience that probably had largely to do with set and setting and the LSD itself being so pure. What’s crazy is that prior to this night I had never known what Jai Guru Deva Om actually meant and it turns out this phrase is a mantra used in transcendental meditation that is actually supposed to take the mind to ‘higher consciousness’. And for me it kind of worked hah or at least appeared to I mean jesus fucking christ.
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I’m probably failing to explain just how profound and meaningful this all was. Words always fail to explain experiences like this. I think a lot of times people write trip reports and fail to conclude how powerful and profound the most meaningful part of their trip was and sometimes they don’t point it out at all but this is me pointing it out. This was the most meaningful and memorable part of the trip and one of the most memorable experiences of my life.
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The “Om' itself would slow down extra during the song for me and be even more vibrational than the rest of the mantra sang and this is when the colors and cosmic awareness was the most intense and when these things in my head or perception were brought into existence through this vibration. The vibrations opened my perception up or something. And what do I find out months later? That this “om” actually represents the “vibration of the universe that allows all things to come into existence”…..this was a real mindfuck.
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I remember looking at my iPhone playing the song and it had artwork for the song that wasn’t the Let it Be album but instead a colorful portrait of all four Beatles separately and I can’t explain it it just looked very trippy and high def and 4 dimensional and the iridescent colors on the edges of everything seemed to overlap while the images themselves popped out more. The picture looked so intriguing and kind of luring and emotional. It was like this sparkly underwater look almost, can’t explain it. Everything was very VERY clear but kind of liquidy and it looked emotionally evocative and kind of sad. Really emotional actually and I could see it on the Beatles' faces lol. Especially on Ringo. His nose looked funny and he looked so emotional and random and just…there and George Harrison had what at the time looked like these crazy sacred patterns on his neck that are actually there on the picture. He also had an eye ball on his palm and I got hit with these intense imaginative spiritual feelings and attitudes towards it like my eyes and senses were drawn to specifically that and was just like “damn..stop trying to trip me out mind.'
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There’s no way I can explain the beauty and how profound this song was but whatever there’s no way to truly know unless you experience it too, it was life altering and completely satisfying on so many kinds of levels and for so many reasons and it restored my faith in a lot of things. This night was pure magic.
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This experience was also kind of “sad” too but so sad it was beautiful like listening to a sad but beautiful piece of music that just evokes so much emotion. This kind of gloomy sadness seems to be a characteristic of acid and even loomed over the rest of the experience but in a beautiful profound way. It was like a really profound sadness. Similar to the feelings of extreme humility than can come with mushroom trips especially when you start thinking about all of humanity and its sins. Makes you wonder if sadness is really a “negative” emotion or not and the feeling of sadness and joy and beauty seemed to mix or be one.
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After this absurdly great and profound experience with what I can only call an entity? I start texting my girlfriend or she started texting me and I somehow or another bring up how I want her to come over here and I want to see her. I didn’t realize it was so late though and she was like “So you want me to sneak out for the first time?” and she was texting me saying “Okay…I’ve never snuck out before..here we go..” and then I start getting stressed because I don’t want her to get caught or in trouble tonight while I’m in this state and I’m thinking “What?! Never snuck out before? Fuck I cannot manage this right now' and told her forget about it and I told my other friends there what was going on and they were like “wtf man no just stay off your phone” and they were just telling me how it was just a bad and pointless idea and I agreed it was crazy and wishful thinking. My Russian friend also said he didn’t want anyone else Russian there because of the arguments he was having with his mom in Russian. He didn’t feel comfortable if someone else who spoke Russian was there. And yes my girlfriend is Russian and speaks it fluently so it made sense that that all around wasn’t a good idea.
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Anyways sorry about this next part of the trip because it might be mixed up or out of order because this is when I started really losing concept of time. Not just losing concept of time but time got all jumbled together and mixed up and don’t worry I’ll explain. This also happened a long time ago, almost 2 years now since this trip. This trip happened in July or August of 2014 and it is now April of 2016. So my memory isn’t perfect.
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I also forgot to mention that every time me and my tripping friend looked at our phones it looked completely strange and fake just like all other technology. That’s how we could instantly tell if we were tripping or not. Either by looking at your hand or the screen of your cell phone. Eventually we went in his living room. Me and my tripping friend were just watching whatever was on T.V. flipping through channels intrigued by how different and bright and I guess fake and corky everything on T.V. looked. I think that girl’s party was still booming loudly but anyways this weird trippy way everything on T.V. looked reminded us of our old shroom trips so this was exciting for us and we started just giggling at everything and we were just really happy. My Russian friend was kind of just all over the place calling people on the phone, doing things around the house, arguing with his mom in Russian and doing weed related business. I guess he was buying a pretty big weed sac and it was supposed to be kept secret but I didn’t understand why. My other friend kept forgetting this and accidentally kept bringing it up when we were in the dining room before when my Russian friend's mom was still around but still it wasn’t something that we were used to because we could usually bring up weed around his mom all the time.
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What me and my tripping friend didn’t realize at this point was that this trip would somehow continue to get even stranger. We weren’t prepared for any of this. The next thing that happened was baffling and it still baffles us to this day. We were flipping around channels on the T.V. surrounded by foreign patterned carpets in this living room and one of the first channels we arrive on is a real life show. As it was real people. I still have NO idea to this day what the hell kind of show this was but it was just this guy, some kind of guy sort of trying to be funny in front of this live studio audience while trying to tell them and inform them about something. And it wasn’t like a scam thing or religious thing just pure entertainment and I could tell he wasn’t the main runner of the show or the main host because he had this ‘guest' kind of vibe. He was kinda funny looking in a way too, kind of looked like that singer from that song Rude by 'MAGIC!” or whatever and he kind of looked distorted and underwater but not really. It just looked funny and dumb once again like on shrooms, and I remember the background behind him was very blue and vivid and all the colors on the screen were more vibrant. It was weird because reality and the real world looked so hyperreal, more real than usual meanwhile anything on the T.V. seemed extra fake and blurry but still colorful so it was very odd seeing high definition real life right next to shitty T.V. picture life only separated by the border of the screen. But the strangest part was what this fucking guy started to talk about and it confused the hell out of me and my tripping friend.
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And we didn’t imagine any of this. We both heard and saw everything. I’m guessing we just missed the context of a joke or something but goddamn what the fuck.
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He started out just stating facts about the Holocaust but had this underlying satirical tone in his voice like he was kind of distracting from the subject and still trying to entertain the audience or build up to something. He looks like he’s having some trouble stating the facts normal though. His own subjectivity starts to bleed through his words and attitudes. Well eventually down the line he starts sort of laughing…as he’s doing it….He starts to look like he’s holding back laughter after stating facts about the Holocaust…..
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I am just completely puzzled and eventually he begins full on laughing and chuckling while explaining how many people died and all this messed up stuff about the Holocaust and then sooner or later the audience starts laughing with him as he’s explaining these depressing facts and me and my friend both just look at each other and are so confused. So fucking confused and creeped out. I remember just saying “That’s not funny..why are they laughing at this? What is going on?”
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Meanwhile my Russian friend and his mom are arguing and bickering at each other in Russian right next to the living room while this confusing messed up situation is happening in front of the T.V. on the couch with me and my tripping friend. My friend starts agreeing with me that none of this makes sense and the fact that they’re laughing at this stuff is just..so confusing and so eventually we just started laughing too lol. We started giggling at this stupid situation while looking at this guy’s ridiculous face. It’s almost like we were laughing in sync with him and he was there with us and my friend just goes “haha he’s on acid” and we’re both just laughing even the guy on the T.V. is laughing and then my Russian friend tells us to “Shut the HELL UP! That is MY mother’s message to you guys.”
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We weren’t even talking that loud... we were kind of getting bothered by both of them me and my tripping friend..but it was a house we could be at and trip at so we couldn’t be picky. And when he yelled at us it didn’t go back to awkward silence or anything everything just continued how it was. And we change the channel because that shit was too fucked up and we eventually land on Family Guy and I remember when we landed on it it was just one joke then commercial, like the end of one joke and then it went straight to commercial and I remember it was the stupidest most unfunny Family Guy joke I’d ever seen and my tripping friend was just like “That was stupid” and my Russian friend right there at the edge of the room was like “SHUT UP!” and his mom kept telling him in Russian to tell us to shut up and we weren’t even talking loud at all.
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Especially when my tripping friend said that the joke was stupid. My friend was basically just almost talking to himself it’s like my Russian friend didn’t want us to speak at all not even softly. Maybe he wasn’t used to us being so talkative? But we weren’t being that talkative. I mean we were kind of casually and humorously pointing out funny and strange things but being pretty covert and insider about it. I don’t know what my Russian friend’s problem was but since that night he’s admitted he was tripping out for no reason and you know his mom is always crazy because she’s bipolar. Also it was late and they most likely weren’t used to people acting so “awake” and giddy at this hour. It was like the middle of the night.
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The most confusing part of the trip hadn’t even come yet. Eventually his mom and him stop bickering in confusing Russian words that only continued to confuse me and my friend and this is the period of time when my Russian friend was gonna buy a half ounce of weed or something but without the dealer actually coming inside I guess and without his mom knowing. He might have been doing other weed related business too because of how all over the place he was but this was happening all right next to us while we were continuing to watch T.V. while completely off our heads on acid. While my Russian friend was doing that this is the time when me and my tripping friend really started to lose concept of linear time. Time seemed to no longer happen in a linear fashion and it literally started moving in circles and repeating itself. Time actually started repeating itself and looping it was so confusing and things that only happened once in real life were beginning to happen over and over again multiple times and my Russian friend was in and out of the front door a lot. Well it seemed like a lot..He only went out probably 3 or 4 times but it felt like he went back and fourth like 8 or 10 times or even over a dozen times it was crazy. I got stuck in a time loop while sitting on the couch, both of us did.
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Time just kept repeating and we saw my Russian friend who only went out a few times go out over and over and over and over and over again..It was all so strange and confusing and my tripping friend said “I’m so confused” or “This is so confusing” then he said “This is a weird night” and the colors were just so bright and everything seemed kind of cartoonish or vibrant but surreal and arabesque. All the patterns were popping out and everything was also extremely vivid and alive. He was right though my tripping friend. This wasn’t what you would call a super happy trip/night but instead a powerful and profound trip and a 'strange night man'. Not too recreational honestly. But amazing and incredible and incredibly psychedelic.
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So ya this was a new and mind-blowing experience for me and him. The time looping thing that is. In the past on mushrooms I have had time slow down, speed up, stop completely and even cease to exist but this was the first time that time actually repeated..and started looping. Very off putting and confusing. I couldn’t understand it. That seemed to be one of the themes of the LSD mindfuck is this melty cyclic out of order mindfuck where everything's just jumbled together and mixed around. It seemed like events happened out of order and it’s still hard to remember what order things happened in the trip as this mindfuck effect kind of carried out throughout the whole trip and infected the whole thing. It was like that movie Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas..just with the story being all over the place and out of order and fast and loud but visually appealing. Also colorful and pattered.
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I think after this; after the confusing cartoonish cyclic stage or at least when it simmered down a bit is when I think things actually got really visually abrasive. I think I said that earlier but this was the even more clean and abrasive stage where everything was just so clear and this is I believe when I was seeing the faces most clearly and reminded me of my previous mushroom adventures especially the one that was across the street just about 6 months before. I remember it felt like how I would picture Ayahuasca or something to be like even though I’ve never had Ayahuasca that’s just how I felt it would be like. It was like a very commune cathartic cleansing experience however this LSD cleansing wasn’t cathartic at all just squeaky clean and abrasive as can be visually. I think before this trip became more well defined with the faces and cleansing I got this sort of cartoonish serious monty python headfuck type feeling. Can’t explain it but felt British or foreign in some way like classic wonky British humor. Very pythonesque. Like something you’d see in a Beatle’s movie. Things at this time were also very melty and everything seemed very far from reality and normal perception visually speaking.
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At this point it is very late like 3 or 4am and my non tripping Russian friend is getting tired while me and my tripping friend are still wide awake and we’re very understanding and yea..kinda over his house anyways so we head out no problem. I remember right after we pass the 7/11 and start up the hill leading to the suburbs with apartments on the sides we see in one of the cars parked on this always packed road 2 people having sex in the car. But it was confusing and very bizarre because they were essentially humping the shit out of each other and doing all the motions of sex and everything but they had clothes on…
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They were seriously plowing the shit out of each other right there on that main road in the car. I mean it was the middle of the night and no one was really around but come on can’t you find a better place to fuck than that? You’re not even that far from the entrance of 7/11 which is a place that is open 24/7. That was crazy and weird seeing that and we were cracking up hysterically but also confused because we didn’t understand what was going on and why they were wearing clothes but still somehow having sex? It was still very dark out and we head up this hill past these apartments and we come by and pass the lake. We were on the same side of the street as the lake even though when walking by we usually aren’t because that side of the street tends to be sketchy but we just felt so carefree. We were still deep in the trip btw. It may sound like enough things had happened already that we would be sober by now but there would still be HOURS of tripping left. We weren’t finished by a long shot. Anyways as we pass the lake and walk by we look at it and eventually we come to the middle and have a middle view of the whole lake and can see the docks with the boats on it. And the orange lights shining on the dock were shining and reflecting on the dark black water and it looked so…amazing and breathtaking. We had to just stop walking and stare for about 5 minutes it was one of the most beautiful things we had ever seen for some reason and we just kept saying wow…wow. It seemed so beautiful and captivating for some reason and the water just looked gorgeous.
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I’ve taken that same acid at that same lake since then and the water has still never looked as beautiful as it did that night. Once again trying to put this beauty in words is pointless.
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Eventually we stop staring at the water and the orange light reflecting off it and trek on into the canyon which is pretty much across the street but the trail we want to take is a little more up the hill. As we’re walking we’re joking about how the best way to spot people who are tripping on psychedelics is to notice the people walking around in the middle of the night like it’s daytime and attempting to do daytime activities at some ungodly hour in the night. This seems to be a theme for psychedelics. It just felt like daytime almost at how well we could see things but it was still dark so it’s hard to describe. Our attitudes were very awake and happy so that’s probably also why. I mean we weren’t super happy or ecstatic really because the trip was changing gears and it wasn’t getting any less serious but we also had energy and other feelings.
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This next part of my trip is hard to explain but let me start off by explaining our walk through this relatively short trail through this open canyon to my lower yard which is like my naturey yard behind my backyard. It was the same place we were sitting at earlier when I told my friend that I wasn’t hallucinating. Well this dirt trail we were walking on only takes about 2 or 3 minutes to walk down and I know because I walk down it pretty much everyday but tonight it feels sooo much longer. I remember halfway through the walk which was only like a minute into it it felt like fucking 8 or 10 whole minutes passed by and I laughed because it had felt like forever and I saw we were only halfway and was like “This is the longest walk through the canyon ever haha” and he started laughing because he felt it too. It felt like the chemical was trying so hard to trip us out and trying to get us to notice strange things. All in all this 2 minute walk felt like a damn 15 or 20 minutes no joke and eventually we get to my lower yard where we were earlier and just sit there in the darkness kind of sad that there are no stars out. However it’s cloudy and not super dark and black like it usually is so it looks cool in it’s own right. Gave an almost gloomy kind of european vibe. I also saw monty python-like faces in the trees and things and saw a HUGE very well defined one on a giant pine tree that looked hyperdimensional and very tryptamine like. Things looked and felt very tryptamine-like in this part of the trip and that giant face I still see now every time I go in my lower yard and look at that giant pine tree across the way. It was very eerie and ominous and all the other faces I was seeing was giving off such a funky tryptamine alien vibe similar to mushrooms but a little different. Still almost identical visually to shrooms though in terms of seeing all those ominous faces on all the surfaces.
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When we first started reflecting on what had just happened and all the craziness of the night so far (we thought the experience was over) and my friend starts talking about my Russian friend and he says “yeah man..Bad vibes seriously bad vibes over there” and we could both really really feel it when he said that and almost could ‘see’ it. There was so much going on visually and emotionally with each word and thought. I remember this is when the closed eye visuals were really vivid and impressive and since it was dark the closed eye visions were overlaid over everything I looked at. Especially the things that were dark and natural.
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When he said “bad vibes” and he had that weird emotionally striking complaining tone in his voice I saw or perceived orange, red and brown flashes or blotches of color sporadically in my visual field and it made me feel vulnerable and uncomfortable just those words and the phrase “bad vibes'.
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My friend said that he was freaked out when my Russian friend got angry and tried to punch me and said he felt this unexplainable feeling when it happened that if he actually did hit me that my tripping friend would have punched him back and he didn’t know why he felt that. He also started talking about the tweaker kid who introduced me to the dealer and how stupid he thought he was and how people shouldn’t hang out with him because he’s a tweaker and a dumbass and stuff and my friend makes this weird extraterrestrial noise making fun of him which trips me out and continues to give me weird cosmic closed eye visuals and feelings and so I just laugh.
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It’s funny now because even though he was a tweaker at this period in time and would use things like meth, speed, heroin and oxycontin after having 2 more solid acid trips of his own (after his first initial one) my tweaker friend stopped everything except weed and made himself go to rehab in the northern part of my state.
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I remember this is also the stage in which things got very introspective and reflective. Things also got very emotional again but in a deeper more introspective way I remember just having absolutely no ego or sense of self importance. I was so small even smaller than I was earlier and it felt kind of exotic and very deep. It felt almost avatar and otherworldly like with shrooms but not quite. It was definitely visible mysticism though. For some reason my mind’s eye visuals were so strong and ‘visual’ as well but in my head. It was kind of an evocative experience and I started reflecting a lot and thinking about a lot of personal things and things about the world and people I know and just life. This egoless view of life and the whole world was very striking and cut pretty deep down. I remember almost getting kind of flashbacks and extremely vivid almost tactical memories to certain events and people I know. I randomly started thinking about things like the first time I snorted cocaine several months prior to this.
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Actually I think it was my second time doing cocaine that I was thinking of..ya it was my second time and it was when I was sniffing really pure coke at the lake. I imagined in my head or felt like I was there again somehow in THIS acid trip like I began to see or imagine all those tall trees around me again like I was in that certain part of the lake again on that day. It was like I was reliving the experience and feeling like I was in 2 places at one. Since the coke was so pure that day it so absolutely reeked like diesel way more than the average coke and the vivd memory (flashback) of it going up my nose or what it was like to go up my nose was so intense I felt like I could smell it in my nose at that moment quite clearly and feel it so grotesquely and vividly and I didn’t like it, it was a disappointed vulgar feeling attached to it and it was all while feeling this really deep complex state of mind where I had no sense of self importance whatsoever and I felt very emotionally vulnerable. I started thinking about how hard drugs like that are so awful and so cringy in this egoless and disclosing psychedelic mindset I was in. I was thinking about how absolutely terrible and disgusting poisonousness drugs like alcohol, cocaine, meth and heroin are and I at the time couldn’t understand why people did that stuff in the first place. It all seemed so vulgar and so toxic and unnecessary. It felt like those kinds of fucked up drugs and activities only distracted people from the bigger more beautiful picture and took them farther away from what was actually real.
<br>
<br>
Looking back on it now I definitely don’t have a problem with moderate and responsible use of things like cocaine or alcohol (especially when it’s pure) but at this moment while tripping when I was thinking about how disgusting and bad these things are it was just because I was in a really virtuous and spiritual headspace with no ego whatsoever. And it’s mostly ego that allows people to do these toxic dangerous hard drugs like nobody’s business. It’s also mostly their egos that allow them to do it and have a good time while doing it even though they’re essentially poisoning themselves. I felt like my tripping friend was having deep and similar thoughts, maybe even the same thoughts since he had that same coke too and around the same time I did just a few months before this trip. I don’t know it just kept feeling like we were sharing the same headspace. This headspace was very crazy.
<br>
<br>
It was incredibly complex but also tranquil and calm…like it was a higher state of consciousness that our normal 3 dimensional minds and consciousness couldn’t begin to understand but it was also peaceful and not very “intense” just ‘there’ and we were in it fully or had access to it so to speak.
<br>
<br>
This is when the visuals and visual perceptions were just amazing. Since it was a cloudy night and the sky wasn’t totally pitch black we could see the silhouette of the leaves of all the trees and plants sticking out clearly against the sky with the clouds in the background.
<br>
<br>
It was incredible because me and my friend were also just sitting there looking up at the trees surrounding us right above our heads and how all their branches and leaves overlapped each other and how everything looked soooo vast and complex. If I look at that same area sober or I guess just not on LSD it just looks like some leaves and some branches and that’s it and it looks like a pretty relatively small area with not much scenic value to it at all it’s just so trivial. However when on this trip this small area above us like I said just looked so vast and so big and complex. There was just so much to look at and it was infinitely visually complicated and intriguing.
<br>
<br>
We also saw kaleidoscopes for the first time and that was a new experience for both of us. Something we had never experienced on shrooms before just like time repeating itself. Just something new that shrooms hadn’t shown us yet. The kaleidoscopes and time loops were a first. By the way I don’t mean we saw colorful kaleidoscopic patterns or anything like that I mean solid objects would actually turn into real kaleidoscopes and we would see multiple copies of things right next to each other. It was like everything opened up but multiplied. These were multifaceted visuals that were hard to wrap your head around. I remember seeing a bougainvillea turn into a full kaleidoscope at one point in the light that was somehow shining from somewhere and those flowers have never looked the same for me. This is before we knew what kaleidoscopes actually were and I remember my friend mumbling trying to explain it and since I was seeing it too I was able to understand him and see what he was trying to describe.
<br>
<br>
I actually wanted to point it out but he pointed it out first. We’ve had this before on mushroom trips where we are mumbling but still able to understand each other because we’re both thinking about and seeing all the same things anyways. He was saying “It’s so cool how you can just..look at the all the trees and leaves but.. also.like..look beyond..that..” and it sounds very vague but I knew exactly what he was talking about and he was describing it perfectly. How when you look at the patterns of the leaves on the trees you can look further and further into it like your perception is a microscope/kaleidoscope and you can see even more patterns of leaves inside of those initial ‘real’ patterns that were there and visible to everyone. So impossible to describe or imagine. I couldn’t even wrap my head around it while it was happening. I couldn’t NOT see kaleidoscopes, I had no control. My friend also proceeded to say “It’s crazy how in a few hours we won’t feel like this” and he’s right it was. It felt like I was gonna be like this forever, not stuck or anything I mean maybe stuck ya but it was more just the feeling like wow I couldn’t imagine ever not seeing the world this way since this is more real than..well……more real than normal reality. I can’t unlearn or unsee any of this. How will my mind ever return back to how it was and pretend like everything’s normal? I felt I plugged so deep in my head it just didn’t make sense that I would somehow eventually drift back or come back down to normal 3 dimensional reality and consciousness.
<br>
<br>
A lot of newbies to acid often seem to say their first times “Will life always be like this?” while in the experience because when you’re tripping you never think anything’s gonna be normal ever again and you don’t understand how it ever could be. Your consciousness is too wide open to even conceive of that. Some people get this feeling from strong weed highs too but in a more subliminal conventional way. Like just an idea in the back of their paranoid thoughts. Like they get so stoned and high that they can’t understand how they or their head could ever return to normal sobriety or at least they think that returning to normal could be a long struggle and might not happen fully 100%. Of course though it always does happen fully and I do always come back fine no matter how fucked up, tripped out or high I got.
<br>
<br>
After the acid trip you almost want to thank your sanity and thank being sober and appreciate the fact that your mind always and actively has a pretty solid grip on your perception of reality and the way we creatively see things in our everyday lives. I learn my mind is more strong and powerful than you think and is actually pretty resilient at the end of the day it’s just that the LSD has temporarily taken the place of my normal serotonin based perception of reality for the next 10 or 12 hours or so. LSD is what helps make my reality and perception instead of serotonin. Because there’s no such thing as reality just the reality my mind creates for me, this is one of the functions of serotonin and LSD definitely shows this as well. There is no such thing as the ‘right perception’ or the ‘right way to look at something’. There might be the way I usually look at something but that’s just statistically normal not “right” or proper.
<br>
<br>
While we were sitting there in what was pretty much just nature and darkness expect for a few houses we started playing Led Zeppelin and weird trippy Jefferson Airplane songs like Chusingura. At one point I think we may have played Across the Universe again I don’t know but I remember closing my eyes and feeling and seeing these lovely orbicular colorful vibrating orbs come towards my ‘being’ and vibrating around my body and doing SOMETHING to me mentally. I don’t know what it was it kinda felt like a cleansing and it felt very comfortable and soothing and made me happy and I started to laugh and told my friend because we both closed our eyes at the same time I forgot to say and I was like “whoa I feel like that did something to me” (closing my eyes) and I thought he would understand but he was like “What? What do you mean that did something to you?” he sounded kind of worried like it was something bad and I can’t remember if I explained it to him or just said nevermind haha but ya I close my eyes again and start seeing angular spikes. I read on Wikipedia one time that a lot of people see 'angular spikes” on mescaline so this kind of reminded me of that whole deal. It was also reminiscent of a certain scene in the movie Suspiria.
<br>
These angular spikes which were all very warm shadowy colors red, dark yellow, orange turned into or pulled back into some kind of peacock looking machine creature that was intensely black and gold and seemed robotic and electric. It was (I don’t want to say traveling) but existing? Floating or passing by in some kind of other void or dimension. Maybe a void-like dimension? I don’t know. It was one of the most distinct visuals I had ever seen on a psychedelic with my eyes shut and visually it was impressive but the feelings attached to it were way more awesome is all I can say. Words don’t do justice for anything I’m “describing'. Everything this night was so exaggerated and so much crazier, spiritual, hyperreal and vivid than I could ever put into words. Everything was way more over the top and intense and psychedelic than it sounds here or on paper believe me.
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<br>
At one point we were walking over to the edge of the creek because we just wanted to get up and look at the canyon and all the palm trees and nature. The trail was right across and the creek is up high so it’s kind of like you’re standing on a cliff when you’re standing on the edge of this creek like we were and since I’m tripping on acid and my whole perception of everything is so different and alien I get sort of almost a flashback feeling to one of my early dramatic mushroom trips in 2012 where I was stuck on a mountain at night that had very steep and intimidating cliffs. Kind of gave me slight PTSD but it’s like the cool kind of PTSD much like those good hangovers as oppose to bad hangovers anyways it’s still kind of an eerie judgmental vibe that started to come back. Just the tryptamine headspace and looking down a deserty California cliff was enough to trigger me and my memories of that fateful night. I went on explaining to my friend about that night and how it was so fucked and dangerous and tried comparing it to this and he was tripping so I think he could see and finally understand maybe a little better how much I was fucked that night. Still though..he’ll really never know.
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One of the most life changing moments of the night was when I was sitting there in the canyon back in the chairs with such an intense feeling of akashic oneness and universal collective oneness. Like I was in and part of the universal awareness but also like I had tapped into something that I had never fully considered or thought of before and it was the Akashic Records or something comparable to that. I never even knew what they were called before this and since this trip I’ve always been thinking about them and akasha in general. Even when just smoking weed now I think about it. I felt the overwhelming feeling that I was connected to the essence of and acid trips of everyone who had EVER taken acid ever. I felt strong revolutionary vibes echoed throughout the canyon and felt connected to the hippies and the artists, murderers, psychos, scientists, druggies, philosophers, medical patients, architects etc. Maybe even those in America who were poisoned by Ergot in the 1600s? These were the ones who freaked and saw 'witches' and had troubling hallucinations and delusions from being poisoned by ergot of course. A lot of experts now think ergot induced delusions and hallucinations were likely the most responsible culprit for the Salem Witch Trials. That would explain maybe some of the common and creepy folklorish archetypes of LSD and possibly other egrolines or ergot derivatives.
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<br>
Anyways I was just feeling this real crazy deep DEEP connective feelings and the whole canyon took on an even more exotic and eerie vibe. More mystical I guess. That deep akashic revelation or experience somehow really changed weed and alcohol for me too. Especially hash. And ESPECIALLY edibles. During this time I felt like I could ‘feel’ and almost hear the echoes of all those hippies and acid freaks from the LSD realm infecting and spreading out through the whole canyon and all the trees and plants. Things seemed really cold, dark and mystical.
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<br>
After tripping and tripping and tripping we finally decide to call it a night. It’s about 5:30am and we both head back to our houses; we were pretty much already at my house. As my friend heads back to his home I head inside and plop right down in bed. I honestly feel like I can’t sleep not only because I’m tripping in another dimension still but I feel like I’m like super aware of every organ in my body like every muscle, artery, tissue etc. just I could feel it all like I was just super hyperaware and I didn’t like it at all and I couldn’t sleep because of it. I recently saw a video trip report on YouTube of a girl from the Netherlands who took LSD and also said she had this same feeling towards the end of the trip where she felt aware of all of her organs and insides. She said getting up and dancing made it not so bad anymore but that wasn’t an option for me in my room in the middle of the night.
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<br>
Sooner or later my cat comes to my room meowing like crazy which she doesn’t usually do at this time and she just comes in and goes under my covers and just sits on my chest and starts purring. I start petting her and her purring feels very vibrational and alien. I remember the feeling of having a furry sentient animal on my chest being affectionate and trusting towards me was so strange, especially since everything still felt fairly primal. I remember I closed my eyes and it completely felt like I had this small strange alien life form vibrating on my chest almost felt connected to my chest and thought wtf this is so ridiculous. With my eyes closed I felt like she was this red alien life form with some kind of symbiotic relationship to me and MY alieness both biologically and emotionally. Because I was an alien too or some kind of hybrid. At least when I’m in these higher dimensional tryptamine realms I am. Yeah can’t explain the tryptamines at all they’re too different and explorative even when compared to other psychedelic drugs. Very emotional and soulful too. I just remember the words 'alien life form’ kept coming to my mind as this strange animal thing vibrated on my chest.
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I end up getting to sleep maybe around 7:30 or 8am finally because being physically aware of all my insides wasn’t really helping me get to sleep. I wake up the next day not sure if I had an afterglow or not, I probably did but I remember right after the experience happens before your mind really processes it all and breaks the whole thing down looking back on the LSD trip right after it happened it just feels like it was a crazy and vivd rush of colors and patterns and a feeling of being reborn sort of. That’s pretty much what I hear from most people right after it happens and later down the line they’ll really think about the profoundness and the small differences in their everyday life. Looking back on it like a week later or something though it will register in your mind as more of just a funky mystical ride or experience. And the peak looking back still seems very geometric and heavenly. LIKE Vibrational angelic oneness. Looking back the whole experience right after it happened felt like my consciousness became this liquidy vibrating thing that was glowing (not like how you think) and patterned and it just all flowed into a complex world.
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<br>
Overall it wasn't a super euphoric or recreational experience more like a really strange night to be honest but also an amazing explorative and profound trip. Very phenomenological and perceptive. A clean exhilarating and patterned rush.
<br>
Not as euphoric and lighthearted or even as revelatory as mushrooms but equally as profound and spiritual. Reading all this it probably just sounds like some kind of crazy drug trip or spacey drugged out experience or maybe just a weird random night but that’s just how it comes out in words and seems like if you haven’t been there. It was not what I expected, it was really kaleidoscopic, clean and mystical. The experience itself even though it was crazy and kind of cartoony and silly at certain points it mostly just opened so many doors for me in my life and I’m still integrating what I experienced and learned that night and it’s already been almost 2 years. There’s many things that have never been the same since this trip. It was a very clean and clear mind opening experience and I mean that quite literally not at all metaphorically. It literally opened up the doors of perception for me.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2014</td><td width="90">ExpID: 108551</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 19</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 20, 2018</td><td>Views: 947</td></tr>
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Mystical Experiences (9), Music Discussion (22), Various (28)</td></tr>
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
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<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
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<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
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<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 3:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
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<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 6:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
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<!-- Start Body -->
When a good friend, Z, asked me if I wanted to take some acid, I gladly took him up on the offer; it had been a few months since I'd had any, and I was looking forward to hanging out with Z and my other close friend, N, and tripping with them. My eagerness to partake was only intensified because Z had only tripped once before, and enjoying psychedelics with those less experienced was and still is always a joy to me <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">enjoying psychedelics with those less experienced was and still is always a joy to me</div></div> - it's fun to teach them the ropes, so to speak, and watch their good time.
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At 8pm, after a few games of pool, Z and I made our way to the house of N, where we first smoked a bowl. The pot we'd acquired was the highest quality of mids, and the bowl was able to make a full eight rotations between the three of us before running out - N has a very large bowl. We were all feeling a little stoned and a little thirsty, so we drank some Dr. Pepper, enjoying the 23 flavors which we constantly tried to guess, and ate some pretzels. By 8:45, we'd decided we were ready to drop.
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The three of us took one hit each, and began watching Monday Night Raw, N's favorite television program. About half an hour into the show, I began feeling the first effects of the acid: A delightful tingly sensation over my body, a warmness on my face, pulse rate slightly elevated, and a small difference in the brightness of colors. I asked Z and N if they were starting to feel it yet, and Z said he was; N said he'd been feeling it for about ten minutes.
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<br>
By 10:00pm, an hour and fifteen minutes into the trip, I was feeling pretty good. The colors were very noticeably more intense, and in spite of the lights in the room being off, I was able to see perfectly. We passed around a second bowl, and I came up even harder and faster; objects appeared to have tracers now, and conversation began to be more fragmented between the three of us, but at the same time, we were filling in the blanks where the others left off. It was like a single person talking through three people, and I loved the feeling.
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At around 11:00, Monday Night Raw went off, and we decided to take a walk. It had been raining all day, and it was damp outside, but we didn't really care; we just wanted to be outdoors.
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We made it down the street to a gas station, and I could hear every car coming far before it came into view. My senses were acute, and I felt superhuman. I expressed this to Z and N, and they agreed with me. We felt superhuman, senses elevated to an extreme that normal people couldn't even fathom. We decided we pitied them.
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'Wouldn't it be something,' I said to Z and N, 'If somehow all of those mental superpowers - telekinesis, telepathy, you name it - wouldn't it be something to have access to those powers as a direct result of LSD?'
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<br>
We all thought about this and decided it was possible, perhaps even plausible. With our senses so acute, it only made sense that we should be able to tap into that and find mental abilities that had only been imagined before. We conversed about this for the duration of our walk to the gas station, and much of our walk back to N's house.
<br>
<br>
Talking felt more natural than it ever had at this point; it seemed as though were were all able to listen to and respond to each other, understanding all of the subtext which was normally lost in translation in everyday conversation. It truly felt as though this was what conversation was meant to be.
<br>
<br>
We were back at the house by 11:45, and opted to take another hit each. None of us had truly peaked yet, but it seemed that we would peak at the point we came up from the second hit. This was, we decided, quite desirable. We made our way upstairs to find N's laptop, before being seized by a sudden, mutual urge to be back outdoors. I believe it was N who mentioned the park, and suddenly, we all wanted to be there, more than anything in the world. Z offered to drive, and against all of our better judgment, we climbed into the car. Nothing bad happened, but it was still irresponsible and foolish of us, and I acknowledge this. At the time, however, it seemed to be the best idea in the world. <span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. <a href="/chemicals/show_image.php?i=dmt/dmt_contraindications1.gif">Don't do it!</a>]</span>
<br>
<br>
N brought with him his laptop, and from his seat selected music for us to listen to on the drive. It seemed impossible for him to find anything appropriate for our mood, but he finally settled on an abysmal quality recording of The Polyphonic Spree's second album. With my hearing so acute, I could hear the tinny quality, the static in the track, but it was somehow perfect. Slightly grating, dissonant, blissful.
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<br>
'This is like blissful dissonance,' I said, and Z and N agreed. It was perfect.
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<br>
When we arrived at the park, my muscles were tense, the ones in my neck and arms occasionally spasming, tightening, twitching. I asked N and Z if they were also experiencing this, and they said they were, that they had the last time they'd taken this particular acid as well. I remembered back to an early trip when the physiological effects of the LSD were as pronounced as these were, and accepted it. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I remembered back to an early trip when the physiological effects of the LSD were as pronounced as these were, and accepted it.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
We walked around for what felt like hours. At one point, on a dark path through the center of the park, there was a grating, industrial noise in the distance. My mind immediately conjured up an image of Pyramid Head from the Silent Hill franchise, and I looked to the side where Z and N were standing, certain that's what I would see coming through the trees. Aside from the light dancing across my field of visions, sharp contrast and coloration on all that I saw, and trees and plants seeming to vibrate and thrum with energy all around me, I saw nothing amiss and we kept walking. On one side of the park, we came across a zen garden, complete with beautiful plants, benches, and a fountain. It sounded and looked so peaceful, we decided to stop and sit there for a while.
<br>
<br>
All of the tension in my muscles seemed to leave in this place, and everything appeared to have a beautiful glowing aura. It was the epitome of calm and tranquility, and we expressed how soothing it really was. After what we ascertained to have been three hours (time was working funny), we made our way out of the zen garden, and through the park back to the car. When we'd exited the car, it had been 12:20. When we got back in, in spite of our conviction that time had been passing far more quickly, it was only 12:45.
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On the drive back to N's house, I found that I was staring out the window, almost completely in a trance. Colors were flying past, leaving trails behind them, and every time we passed a street light, I had the impression that I saw snow. It was truly a beautiful sight, but I was to overwhelmed to articulate this to my comrades, so we drove on as I smiled out the window at the wonderland before me. On N's laptop, The Polyphonic Spree was playing once again, and it was wonderful, and it was perfect.
<br>
<br>
Back at N's, the two of them discussed that they had work at 8pm the following evening. As they had a conversation about this, I wondered if they were feeling what I was feeling. I was feeling a strange inability to follow any given train of thought, coming back periodically to affirm to myself that I was extremely spun out. I wondered if they were just talking in their brief periods of coherent thought, or if they just weren't tripping as hard as I was. For the first time that evening, I felt a disconnect from the group, and this troubled me.
<br>
<br>
We watched a movie, Idiocracy, which all of us had seen before, and were rapt with attention for most of the film. Midway through, we sparked up another bowl, which certainly caused my mind to wander more, and my visual impressions of lights and vibrations within everything I saw intensified tenfold. I also noticed at this point that my muscles were extremely sore and tight, especially those in the back of my neck, and laid down in an effort to alleviate some of the tightness.
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<br>
After Idiocracy, it was barely 3AM. Based on previous experience, I knew that I was in the middle of my peak from the first hit, and just about to hit the beginning of it for the second. We smoked another bowl, and when N said he wanted to lie down and try to sleep, urging Z and me to head to our respective houses, I was apprehensive about the remainder of the trip before me.
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<br>
I was tripping fairly hard at this point, and knew it was only going to get more intense. I went to my bedroom, and turned on the TV, hoping for something to watch that I could become immersed in. I found I couldn't focus on anything on the television, and my thoughts were that everything I watched was loosely following the storyline of Idiocracy, so that became unbearable. My muscles were really tight, and I tried to stretch them out and relax, as I turned my iPod on and placed the earbuds in my ears. The first song that came on was 'The End' by The Doors, and I just left it on because the guitar was soothing to me.
<br>
<br>
Midway through this song, I realized I had to pee, so I wandered into my bathroom and sat down. In my peripheral vision, I saw what I perceived to be a head poke out of the shower, and whipped around to see. The curtain was closed, so I couldn't see anything there, but my mind was convinced that there was something in there, lurking, waiting. Paranoia was setting in horribly, and I was completely vulnerable on the toilet. I quickly finished and pulled my pants up, as the song on my iPod intensified. My heart started pounding, and I realized I was having an anxiety attack, overcome with mortal terror. I frantically searched for a weapon, to fight my would-be assailant hiding in my shower, and found a toilet plunger. It would have to do.
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<br>
With a cry, I ripped the shower curtain open, exposing an empty shower. I desperately looked around for any possible escape route the person could have taken, and found none. I was breathing heavily in my panic, and my heart was still beating fast. Somehow, I managed to calm myself down, assuring myself that there had never been anyone in the shower, that it was just my mind playing tricks on me. Miraculously, this seemed to work.
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<br>
I made my way into my living room, turning that TV on and discarding my iPod on the table. The colors in the room were so bright I could barely look at them, and everything appeared to be bleeding into its surroundings. My striped curtains moved and waved, although there was no perceptible breeze, and shadows stretched out across the floor towards me. Everything was vibrating, gold and silver specks surrounding all that I could see like static. I tried to focus again on the television, but the lines on the cartoon I was watching were wavering, and the colors were melting into all of the other colors on the screen, so I couldn't even be quite sure of what I was watching.
<br>
<br>
I laid down and closed my eyes, and became convinced that there were ants crawling on my body. I kept opening my eyes and sitting up, only to realize I was ant-free every single time. Eventually, I gave up on sleep and made my way back into my bedroom to pick up my guitar and focus on that for a while. After some time of playing guitar, which could have been mere seconds or a matter of half an hour or more - time was really funny to me at this point - I became very aware that I had been playing the same note over and over again, with my face resting on the body of the guitar.
<br>
<br>
I reminded myself at this point that I was on LSD, I was peaking, these effects weren't scary at all, and that I should relax and just enjoy the visuals. After that, all was well. My muscles were still tight, and it was uncomfortable to lay down, but I felt fine and happy. I put on some more music, and smiled as the auras and specks surrounding things moved to the beat, complementing the melody perfectly. I put on a record, and the hissing was the perfect complement to everything, adding a dissonant aspect to the visual hallucinations as well that made me feel completely peaceful and calm.
<br>
<br>
By 6:45AM, I was feeling the inability to sleep still, along with occasional muscle twitches, but the visual impressions were very toned down and only really pronounced if I stared intently off into space for a period of time. I turned the TV back on, and genuinely enjoyed what I was watching. The comedown was blissful, and I felt completely happy and content with the world.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2011</td><td width="90">ExpID: 90915</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 23</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 21, 2018</td><td>Views: 932</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=90915&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=90915&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Combinations (3), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:15</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">200 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">195 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It is a rare experience that I think is one for the internet<!--Erowid vault-->, and this is one of them. This is the first time I ever did acid. Prior to this I had taken shrooms about 10 times and smoked weed.
<br>
<br>
I had wanted to try LSD forever, as long as I could remember, but it was so elusive. Finally with my new job and my life in order I sought to find it again. This time I came armed with a bit of knowledge that to my surprise, most people (even drug users) are not privy to- Silk Road. I narrowed down my purchase, from LSD to shrooms, back to LSD, etc. Made a list of potential products and vendors and the price in bitcoins, which I converted into dollars.
<br>
<br>
I ordered 5 hits of 100 ug Sour Patch Kids from a vendor in the U.S., one who was trusted and had many rave reviews. I spent the next few days breathless, not knowing if anything would come, if it would be fake, or if cops would come with it... It came 3 days later, and this was during the holidays.
<br>
<br>
I went to my mailbox after getting off of work Wednesday, I work the night shift, and found a small package that I thought looked like it might be it. Breathless with anticipation I took my mail up to my apartment. I put everything else away then set about opening my mysterious package. This had been a great night already because I girl I liked texted me at work all night.
<br>
<br>
Inside was some more packaging and pack of candies in black packaging. I opened the candies carefully and looked inside- there were 5 of them. Check. This was going well so far. Next came out the blacklight. They lit up on one side or another, not both (except for one, which my seller told me he had double dosed), so this was another confirmation. Okay. Now time to put them away in a really good hiding spot until I find the right time to do them.
<br>
<br>
I did this and waited until Saturday (New Year's Eve) afternoon, after my couch had been delivered. All morning was spent going back and forth with myself over taking something that I had no experience with, and from a seller on the internet (good reviews notwithstanding) that I had not seen. I didn't know if I would freak out or if something bad might happen. I had read enough trip reports on a reputable harm reduction website<!-- Erowid --> to know that bad things can happen with unknown substances. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I had read enough trip reports on a reputable harm reduction website<!-- Erowid --> to know that bad things can happen with unknown substances.</div></div> To my credit I felt like an experienced psychonaut, so I felt like if anyone could handle it I could. Luckily I told myself it was a small amount, and that only LSD is active at such small quantities, and I wondered why I didn't get the blotter. Actually I had thought that it was sour patch kids blotter.
<br>
<br>
Finally got my courage up and began walking around with the candy in my hand. Taking the plunge, I popped it in my mouth and chewed it. Tasted just like a regular candy. Hmmm... was this good or bad? Took some pictures for facebook while I was at it. Since I couldn't find anyone to trip with, I figured I'd at least have my facebook friends.
<br>
<br>
Now I am feeling good about my decision and set about doing things that I knew might be a problem later, like uploading my pictures or deciding on what to have for dinner. Half an hour passes, then 45 minutes, I am looking at the clock but remembering reports <!--from this site -->about people thinking their acid wasn't working and taking way more than they should have. I decide to go for a walk. This is the end of December in Wisconsin, but I don't mind the cold and it is actually beautiful and refreshing. I was hoping I would start tripping outside too.
<br>
<br>
I walked for about 15 minutes, around my block and still didn't feel anything. I was starting to get disappointed. I thought about how hard it is to get acid or make it, and wondered why I thought that some person on the internet would have it. I thought about a refund and didn't want to go through that with the seller, and not with my Silk Road account either. I had read that they log your buyer stats and if you have too many refunds sellers might not want to do business. I sure didn't need that so I thought about just taking it as a loss.
<br>
<br>
I figured that since it was the 1 hour and 15 minute mark and no noticeable effects that I would take another. What could it hurt, right? So I found the one that he had double dosed with the blacklight and ate that. If this didn't work there was no way that it was legit.
<br>
<br>
Sitting at my computer on facebook and the internet looking up things relevant to these matters, I began to feel strange. Like my vision was getting weird. Lights were going off in my field of view behind my vision like a firework show or strobe light. An explosion of color and light. It would get really light, then really dark, then the trip really started to kick in. The visual perspective on things changed, they began to take on different shapes and especially when I would look around they would shape-shift.
<br>
<br>
I was so happy at this point, because I love tripping and this was an excellent start. It was all interesting, and while it became intense, was never scary. I thought, I wonder what music sounds like now? I couldn’t for the life of me find the CD I had created on my computer and I had left the physical CD in my dad’s car, but it was no matter because I just played it on my computer’s library- Hurt’s “Rapture”. And it did have me enraptured- music sounded so good, like way different and being experienced on more levels, it felt like. Like it was a direct link to my soul. Or maybe one of those movies like Constantine where time stops and the protagonist is in hell, but this was heaven.
<br>
<br>
I started looking around to see what things looked like now. I had over the past few weeks hooked up my bedroom with all kinds of cool stuff in preparation for this trip- blacklights, psychedelic blacklight posters, lava lamps, incense, and of course my new couch. Being after Christmas I had a new Sony blu ray player to go with my TV, and had made a DVD with my favorite metal videos. With much effort I made my way over to my set to put them on.
<br>
<br>
What was amazing was standing in my kitchen watching the videos, and time would go in slow motion to where I wondered if my DVD had burned wrong or if I was just tripping. So then I thought about it and I watched it speed back up to normal. Once it got there, I decided I liked the slow motion better and my mind made it go back. This was while I was trying to make dinner, which was the most difficult task of the evening by far- I couldn’t coordinate putting the ham in the microwave, taking it out, and putting it on a plate. Somehow that turned into a 20-step process and I kept getting stuck at step 4. Looking at my TV and its stand was trippy anyway because the black glass shelves were sort of in a quantum state of superposition- not really in one spot, not really in another.
<br>
<br>
And the mindscape was so extraordinary as well- I mean total joy and anticipation of every moment coupled with elation at seeing these things take place. I wanted someone there with me very much. My friend was at work and couldn’t come over but she said I could text her, and I did. When I told her that I had to take two, but that I was tripping hard, she said, “Yayayay!” Haha.
<br>
<br>
Later I found myself rolling around on the couch in a state of ecstasy, and thought that this would be awesome to do with a girl. It frees all my emotions and unlocks your consciousness, and I thought that it was sort of like the drug ecstasy, which I have also never done but it seemed to fit the same description. I wondered about how many trips I had left, if I could get away with taking one the next time and make it three more times. I was glad that I took the amount that I did, it was amazing at ~300 micrograms and I can take it. I will probably take the same amount next time and start early in the morning and outside.
<br>
<br>
What blew my mind as well was the fact that I took presumably 300 millionths of a gram and it had my consciousness crackling like a transformer- I could imagine the trace amount of LSD being like a key to my mind. It was such a good feeling, like it was supposed to be there, taking every brain activity to another level. Before the trip I asked my friend what it was like and she said that it was kind of speedy, like it could get going and my mind would not be able to slow down, but I found that I liked this as well. I was full of energy while I was on it, and when I would get the idea to go do something and do it was like “yay”! Like look out the balcony door- wow it looked crazy outside. Like some kind of movie in sepia or something. I wanted to go out for a walk but that seemed an almost impossible task considering I could hardly make dinner. Plus it was about 30 degrees out. I am an adventurous person by nature so I almost did it, but I didn’t want to go to too much effort and freeze myself and I was having such an experience inside.
<br>
<br>
The only thing I would really want to change for next time is to have someone else around, it was fun to trip by myself regardless but it got lonely especially considering LSD is a social drug.<!--Have a good friend or person you like because you will want to get really close to them and start talking about the most elaborate, amazing things you are seeing/thinking/feeling. And s--> Set and setting is everything… I picked a time that I was in a good mood, in my own apartment, with a job and most of my life in order.<!--Change your setting each time because it is a unique and spiritual experience and you want to have done acid in your home, in nature, and in other activities (as long as they aren’t too dangerous!). I would recommend this drug to anybody our lifestyle who wants to experience true freedom of mind and unleash the real power of their consciousness. It will--> This was a memorable, and defining, experience of my life. And a positive one since I gave this drug its respect and planned for its use. I plan to order some shrooms from Silk Road next, as far as visuals and colors bleeding into each other I believe shrooms are more of the right choice, and for a great speedy trip that will take me to another dimension of joy and thought acid is the right choice. I saw many unreal things on acid too, but it seemed to emphasize a transformed consciousness and altered vision rather than super trippy visuals, at least at 300 micrograms.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2011</td><td width="90">ExpID: 94307</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 28</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 22, 2018</td><td>Views: 966</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=94307&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=94307&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), First Times (2), Glowing Experiences (4), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/alprazolam/">Pharms - Alprazolam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">IV</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/diazepam/">Pharms - Diazepam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">225 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
To understand the context of this its important to know that this report happened 2 months after <a href="https://erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=112170">this experience</a>.
<br>
<br>
After an incredibly negative and distressing MDMA trip while on a steroid cycle 2 months ago, I had decided to cease all drug use for 2 months, as I developed severe panic attacks and health anxiety from that experience. I continued my steroid cycle and kept on lifting and going to the gym and trying to live a healthy lifestyle. After 2 months since that experienced passed, I decided to venture back into LSD, one of my all time favorite substances. Since my bad experience with the MDMA, I became paranoid that I had done damage to my heart, even though when I was hospitalized when the MDMA experience happened I was assured my heart was fine. I had visited 3 more cardiologists and had 6 ECGs done which showed no abnormalities, and on the day of this experience, I decided I would go to a top hospital in my country and get checked again, and if everything turned out fine, I would stop this irrational fear and ease back into recreational drug use.
<br>
<br>
So I had an echocardiogram done, <!--which basically means the doctor can see the shape of your heart and how well its pumping in a computer image, -->which confirmed that my heart was in excellent shape, without the slightest abnormality and that I had to stop worrying so much, my steroid cycle was also over, so I decided that it was time to trip again.
<br>
<br>
So I decided that was it, I arrived home with my girlfriend and I took out 3 LSD tabs, I had previously done this same batch countless times with great experiences, the dealer claims they are 150 ug tabs each but of course he has no way of proving that <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">the dealer claims they are 150 ug tabs each but of course he has no way of proving that</div></div>, but a single one gives me a decently intense trip. Before all of this happened, I used to trip weekly from this batch with my girlfriend, my tolerance grew so high I was taking 5 tabs at one point. I made the idiotic mistake of dosing 3 tabs thinking I would be alright if I had done 5 before, not taking into account I had been drug-free for 2 months and my tolerance had dropped considerably.
<br>
<br>
I always knew not to trip when having negative thoughts, I was extremely anxious and worried about tripping, but I wanted to prove to myself I could beat this anxiety so bad I still ate the 3 tabs. Maybe 30 minutes after ingesting them.I knew I had made a big mistake, I started having paranoic thoughts about my heart, obsessively taking my blood pressure every 10 minutes. I noted some slight vasoconstriction, normal for LSD use, but in my paranoid state I thought it was really severe, so I got into a hot shower to try to open the veins up a little bit, I looked at myself in the mirror and I thought I looked extremely pale, but my girlfriend said I looked fine. I jumped into the hot shower like a madman with my clothes on, thinking I needed to stop the vasoconstriction quickly. I also started getting chest pains and I felt I couldnt breathe. I begged my girlfriend to let me take some Xanax, but she told me I had to be stronger than that and that it was all in my head. This proved to be a great mistake as I ended up being hospitalized which could have been prevented by promptly using the benzos. I got out of the shower and I broke into a cold sweat, I was sure I was having a heart attack. I asked her to call an ambulance immediately, she realized the severity of the situation finally and gave me 4MG of Xanax, but it was too late...
<br>
<br>
While the Xanax kicked in I kept feeling worse and worse, I also started having very strange sensations I have had on other LSD trips, like when I took the Xanax, I could 'feel' it going down my stomach, and I could feel it breaking down and working, its hard to explain. I also had a sensation of feeling my brain, like I would feel part of my brain like it was being stimulated, and I would get some jaw clenching like I get in LSD when I felt that. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I would feel part of my brain like it was being stimulated, and I would get some jaw clenching like I get in LSD when I felt that.</div></div> Finally I told her to call an ambulance, which was completely idiotic since by the time the ambulance arrived I was feeling much better since the Xanax had kicked in. I still ran out to the ambulance without a shirt on, I must have looked crazy. I dont remember much about the hospital stay because of the heavy benzo dose I took, but I remember that basically I obviously wasnt having a heart attack and it was a panic attack. I received IV valium, which I protested because I had already taken Xanax, I remember saying out loud several times 'it was just a panic attack, how stupid I am...' I remember my father and my girlfriend at bedside with me, and other random stuff... I finally was discharged that same day at midnight. I have never been able to get past the shame of the burden I was that day on my father and not preventing the hospital visit by taking the Xanax more promptly.
<br>
<br>
<!--The takeaway I would like somebody to learn from this experience, is that if you have benzos on hand, you shouldnt let a panick attack while tripping get out of hand, -->I always try to ride out panic attacks first since that experience, but if I know after 10 or 15 minutes its not going to get better, its better to take benzos than to be hospitalized or endure a traumatic experience.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 112211</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 21</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 24, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,865</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=112211&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=112211&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">75 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:35</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mda/">MDA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:35</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Vitamin C</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">50 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mda/">MDA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">120 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Around 18:45 my boyfriend, E, and I cut a 150 ug tab of LSD in half and each placed one under our tongue. I had done acid previously three times and E had taken it on four occasions. Due to previous experiences with semi-bad trips and the fact we planned to mix additional substances, we decided to stick with this relatively low dosage of about 75 ug<!--80-90 ug--> each.
<br>
<br>
After the tabs began to dissolve we left our apartment and took a fairly brief bike ride along the Missouri river. Perhaps an hour or so had passed and we decided to turn back. On our return we passed by an old friend of E’s whom he hadn’t seen in years, A. As the LSD had not set in fully, we invited A and his girlfriend back to our flat. E and A smoked a couple bowls of mj and A left soon afterword. The full effects had still not set in. Anxious to hurry along the process, we each measured out about 100 mg of MDA and mixed the powder into orange juice. This was around 20:20. About ten minutes later we each bumped an additional 50 mg.
<br>
<br>
We left the apartment and began to walk throughout the nearby neighborhoods. Less than two blocks from our flat I began to perceive the vastness of the sidewalk. I realized we were walking down the center of the road rather than the side. Everything expanded and almost pulsed. It felt so insanely good to be walking, to be outside – to be alive. We realized it would be a good idea to head home. The LSD body feeling was overwhelming. My teeth ground and my skin stretched. My whole body seemed to be shedding, replacing itself with a newer, and fresher outer layer.
<br>
<br>
On the way back we passed several piles of bricks and an area where it appeared a wall was being rebuilt. I sat on the bricks and felt waves of reality and disassociation rolling through me. I began to clutch two small bits of bark and rock. Clinging to them, turning them over in my hands, unable to set them down.
<br>
<br>
We had had plans to finish the night with a small bump of ketamine; however, the feelings of the MDA and LSD were so overpoweringly stark, that we decided to hold off. When we first returned to the apartment, it was like a different world. Bright and shifting, strange and wonderful – I began to run in circles about the room, feeling an overwhelming exuberance of “running on happiness.” It felt good to hop, to pace, to spin. Everything felt new and exciting.
<br>
<br>
We returned outside and began to walk in circles around our courtyard. We paced around and around. Talking rapidly, cautiously following a cat that was wearing a brightly blinking collar. I several times found myself accidentally approaching the cat, which promptly yowled and trotted backward. Still, even when we stopped following the animal, the cat began to follow us – keeping a safe distance. My mind felt very much like the mind of a cat. I watched other humans warily, edging away from anyone accept E. Uncomfortable and off guard by their distinctly foreign consciousness. There were other animals in the courtyard – more than I ever remembered seeing before – rabbits and squirrels darted about me in an endless perpetual dance.
<br>
Finally we returned to the flat and turned on a black light and music. The ground and walls lost all texture. I was in a purple cube with nothing on the floors or walls. The area rug and ottoman seemed to be floating islands in the middle of a vast emptiness. I lay on my back and seemed to tread water timelessly. Music – usually a definitive part of my life – seemed strangely distant and uninteresting.
<br>
<br>
At one point I felt as if I was watching myself in third person.
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<br>
Time lost all definition and distinction. Deep into my mind I soared, and then, bolts of pure adrenaline and fear shook me. Someone was knocking on the door – unfriendly voices were calling my name. In an instant all lights and music were off and I was crouching on the cold floor shaking in dread. Desperately trying to choose a method of action, we dashed to the bedroom. Then, I recognized the voice. Astonished to hear my parents, who had never been to our apartment, nor even knew the address, outside the door at nearly midnight. Startled, I flung the door open. They demanded to know why our phones were off, if we were all right, and why we hadn’t checked in. E remained in the bedroom and I mumbled something about having been asleep and my phone breaking. My mother mentioned the music and lights she had seen from outside. Unable to speak properly, I hugged her, and somehow managed to reassure her of my safety. Immediately after closing the door I sank to the floor in panic. The people knocking – the outside world, suddenly seemed unfriendly and hostile. The flat was our oasis of safety and other people had nothing but evil intentions. I had a horrible feeling as if I was hiding out and had been discovered by the police or Nazis or something. I refused to turn the lights or music back on for another 45 minutes. I felt convinced we were unsafe. My parents must have noticed my grinding teeth and saucer plate eyes. At last E managed to calm me down and we settled down on the couch. At last I relaxed and as the most extreme affects seemed to be waning – we began to discuss life and death and everything in between. Our conversation delved and rose to levels of wisdom and ludicrously beyond my normal comprehension. The world – money, humans, history, society, knowledge – it all rolled around my mind clearly. I saw everything objectively – I felt above it all.
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<br>
Still I clutched the bark (a memento of my first LSD trip) and rock (actually a shard of meteorite E once gave me) desperately. E rotated meditation balls in his hands. The rhythm of the objects infused our conversation and it felt like I was powering my mind and altering my perception in a controlled way using these ancient objects – tree and meteorite. I felt their age and weight, their density and breadth.
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<br>
I experienced nausea off and on – but attributed it to the large quantity of orange juice I had drunken that day and the fact I had fasted much less than I normally would have.
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<br>
The realization that E had work in the morning finally dawned on us. We debated for nearly an hour whether sleep was conceivable. It had been nearly nine hours since we had taken the acid and the affects were considerably milder. Eventually we lay down in the bedroom holding holding hands – feeling more bonded than ever.
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<br>
I don’t remember drifting into sleep. My dreams and reality were forever intertwined in a jumbled tumbling mandala. I woke up that morning with a jolt. I was hyper aware and sore, but more content than I had been in months. To this moment my teeth still clench and I can rarely stop pacing – but everything is good and whole and I’m ready for my life to begin again. I’m ready to face school and work and family and responsibility in a new light. LSD is a beautiful experience, although it can take me to levels of darkness unimaginable – the light is what fills me and changes me in the weeks following. I am driven by a desire to be alive and an acceptance of inevitable death.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2014</td><td width="90">ExpID: 102897</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 24, 2018</td><td>Views: 2,449</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=102897&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=102897&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), MDA (34) : General (1), Combinations (3), Hangover / Days After (46), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">175 lb</td>
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I preface by saying this is a very long trip report. Read as you please.
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Whatever is said here cannot be fully accepted as truth. For words such as these will never be able to fully pass on to another an experience of such magnificent transcendence. We are limited by our vocabulary and way of communicating, thus we are unable to express to another the true essence or extent of an experience. 'What can be shown, cannot be said', as Ludwig Wittgenstein put it. A psychedelic experience can be shown but not said. So, the words that follow are just conjured up metaphors, allegories, analogies, images, and symbols that hopefully will give at least a single individual a creative idea, an epiphany, or an inspirational breakthrough - at least for a moment. Try and read everything here poetically, if it resonates with you, vibe with it.
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This experience has taken me awhile to somewhat articulate <!--and post--> for others to try and understand. The reason is that words don't do it justice. I kept this experience internalized to fully embrace it, integrate it into my being, and not have the use of language taint and contort its meaning or essence. Even now I cautiously type these words fully apprehending not one single person will feel or experience what I experienced. Maybe they have or will, but to describe such an experience with words one will never truly know. One just has to trust the other person. So, I humbly ask for your trust; not your belief, but trust.
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As a psychedelic voyager and explorer, I merge into the vastness that seems to be mind. Through the doors, windows, gates, labyrinths, and palaces I find myself. During these experiences, I learn and also remember. As well as try and bring back some form of an idea that can be articulated. Bring back a meme if you will. Something that helps people get through life simpler and easier, even if that feeling comes for a moment. These memes in a sense give permission to others, permission to experience a novel understanding about life and what the psychedelic experience has to offer.
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<br>
Set: healthy mental state, calmly excited and trepidatious for the experience
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Setting: my room, alone, AC and fan on, completely dark except for one candle that was lit toward the end of my bed on a bookshelf
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Intention: to be the center of my own mandala
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10:30 pm - drop
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<br>
As I waited for the come up, I sat/laid down on the bed and played my Kaizen steel drum.
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11:03 pm - first initial energy building up
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The drum sounded spectacular. Each note would resonate throughout my whole being.
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11:23 pm - slight acid feel
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Around this time, I remember walking into my living room and my dog Tia (who is my sitter for most of my trips) was laying on the couch. I was petting her for a bit, then I went back into my room and she followed me.
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12:07 am - everything is beautiful
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I remember the notes on the drum sounded blissfully beautiful. I was also in awe over how soft and beautiful Tia's fur was - she is a Belgian Malinois. Petting her head and ears felt like silk. At this time everything was perfect and life felt divine.
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Luscious flowing waves
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I felt the oceanic connectedness feeling that many feel on psychedelics (common on LSD), also while petting Tia her fur felt like waves. Luscious flowing waves.
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Boundaries shifting
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This is when I first started to notice that my mind was becoming untethered and connected at the same time. If you have ever seen the fMRI image of the two brains: one on LSD and one sober brain, you will see how everything is looser and more connected while on LSD. I had that visualization of my brain and the connections I was making in the moment. I felt every inch of my neuronal pathways and every basement and attic that was previously left untouched in my mind, now connected to the whole.
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Insanity gained and insanity lost (I wonder if I meant to write 'sanity gained and sanity lost', but I'm not entirely sure). I had some backups on hand if anything were to go south. I had Xanax at my bedside in case I started to go through a rough time, and sure enough, I did go through that rough time. I can't count how many times those small white pills went through my mind. I was so convinced that I was going mad that I knew I needed to take one or else I would lose my mind for good. Somehow, I decided to ride through the hell without taking the little white pill. I humbly ensure that this was the right thing to do.
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<br>
At this time, the trip took a turn. Because my boundaries were dissolving so severely, it felt as though I was literally losing my mind. As Terence McKenna said, 'The psychedelic mantra... 'I've done it this time!''. I say this with the utmost sincerity in my voice... I honestly felt I was going mad. I felt schizophrenic. I have no direct family history of schizophrenia and do not know what a schizophrenic person thinks. But I convinced myself I was losing my mind. I would walk around my house, stopping randomly, and continue walking saying repeatedly, 'what the hell is happening!'. I then laid back down on the bed with Tia and I experienced a transcendent catharsis. Through the pain and anguish of losing my mind, I discovered I am the only thing in the universe. I was shown to be a singularity. With this realization, I bawled my eyes out for a good amount of time. The reason I was crying so hard was that of the pain in understanding that I'm the only thing that exists. I'm all alone. 'The last dance you dance, you dance alone'. Coming back from what felt like hell and expanding back out of the singularity, I had a new perspective. Coming out of being alone, I realized I do not have to live this life completely alone. We want to connect to others, that seems to me to be a main goal of humans. I felt tremendous love, hope, and compassion when I realized that there were two pillows on the bed I was laying on. This second pillow belonged to and symbolized my girlfriend. I understood I have someone with me side by side to live this mystery of existence together with. I did cry again at this point as well because of the emotions that were surging through me at the time. This was another lesson that we create the reality in which we live in.
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Because I did this trip that night, because I went through that experience and felt those things, it felt as though I changed the structure and time of reality. My reality. And the reality of everyone in my reality, which seems to be me. I apprehended what shamans do. They are arbiters in a sense, who transform the nature of reality in the moment to a truer or novel form. The shaman is a true magician.
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Toward the end of the trip, I remember having amazing sensations on my skin and in my skin. It felt as though I could feel the fabric or net of reality on the 4th-dimensional level, in my 3-dimensional body. It was as though moving my arms up and down felt like they were moving through spider webs, but the spider webs were inside my skin and attached to my skin. It seemed as though I was experiencing the network and connectedness of reality through my skin. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">It seemed as though I was experiencing the network and connectedness of reality through my skin.</div></div> This was a sensation I have never experienced before. It was as though after expanding out of the singularity, I was downloading myself back into a reality I was creating. And this was the physical sensation of that experience.
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8:30 am - end of the trip
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The rest that follows are some ideas that came to me during and after this particular experience.
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We are constantly seeking. Seeking on many levels: material, spiritual, psychological. We seek and seem to never be satisfied. We seek out into matter for the next thing: seek a car, a house, a lover, a book, a job, drugs, money, pleasure. We seek spiritual enlightenment through various practices including yoga, meditation, psychedelics, gurus, float tanks. We seek psychological health or closure through different things: psychotherapy, other people, lovers, family, friends, knowledge, power. We are constantly seeking.
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One blinding message I got out of this trip was that the thing we are seeking or finding seems to be ourselves. We are seeking ourselves. We are seeking outward and also inward, but what you have to realize in that all of this seeking, you are just seeking yourself. I truly understood this. I found myself during those 10 hours. I became the center of my own mandala. The next day after the trip I went on a long hike in nature to process the whole experience. During this hike, I had the song Wake Me Up by Avicii playing inside my head, 'All this time I've been finding myself, And I didn't know I was lost'. These lyrics had a tremendous impact on my mental state at the time. By the end of that hike, I felt as though I found myself and understood how nature loves courage. (reading this experience over now, I see that I lost myself after this experience. It took a while to find myself again and gather the pieces of my mind to put them back together).
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<!--Another idea: as Terence McKenna once said, 'Once you get to psychedelics, seeking is an act that ill becomes you. You have found it! Now, what are you gonna do with it?' In other words, you have found yourself.
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-->We're constantly distracting ourselves, distracting ourselves from ourselves. Distracting ourselves through various mediums, activities, and thoughts in our lives. Distracting ourselves with TV, with technology, with other people, money, etc. After this trip, however, I discovered the utmost empathy for myself and others when we all distract ourselves. Finding and remembering who you are can be a scary thing. It's only human to use things to distract us from ourselves. And I have nothing against this spiral cycle. It's a part of being human and many human beings need it. There can be pain in discovering the self. I understand why we distract ourselves from that. Like the Bodhisattva after discovering himself, he goes back into the collective to help others realize their true potential. He apprehended the distractions others and even himself creates and has empathy because he discovered himself and remembers. Just try and remember who you are.
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Discovering and experiencing that I am the center of my own mandala created a vivid feeling inside myself that I will try and express as an idea. This was the deepest lesson I learned throughout this entire trip, so it will not be easy to articulate. In fact, it seems not even possible to drag its essence from a higher dimensional matrix into this 3dimensional language. So, what follows must be taken simply as an idea. I discovered that I am the center of my own mandala. To get an image of this: if I am the center of my own mandala, I in turn am connected to everything else. Everything else around me seems to be a fractal extension, or difference in the pattern; essentially me. Everything and everyone seems to be me. I am everything and everyone. During the 2-4-hour mark was the toughest and most challenging part of the whole experience. All boundaries were dissolving and it felt like everything was closing in to a single point. A singularity. Certainly, part of the challenge was me going through ego death, but I have experienced ego death before and this had a different flavor to it. I became the singularity. I discovered that I am an essential part of the whole. I am a big player in the game of life. All that exists and ever existed in this/my universe seemed to be myself. I am all that exists. Just me. Nothing is 'real' except my own direct experience.
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For some, this view of 'I am the only thing that exists' may come off as egotistical. However, I would completely argue the opposite. If I truly experience myself as the only thing that ever existed and exists, then that means that everything in my life: every situation, every person, every being, every dream, every conversation, every setting, you, my dog, my neighbor, the sun, the moon, the ocean, that tree, that cloud, that star, that whisper in the wind, EVERYTHING, seems to be me. If I see that, I then have tremendously more compassion and love for not only myself but also every being and everything on the planet. If I am everyone and everything, wouldn't I want to treat myself with compassion and love? This brings happiness. So, having love, compassion, empathy, and all these other good virtues for others, literally seems like you are giving oneself love, compassion, and empathy. This view surely gives clarity to the whole human situation. And this realization had and still has a profound effect on the way I conduct myself in the world I create. It's like the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated.
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Toward the end, probably at the 5 or 6-hour mark, I vividly understood once again that we create the world we live in. We construct, from the ground up, our reality with our choices, thoughts, and intentions. Also, with the understanding that I am everything, I choose what my life will be like and how I feel. Psychologically, emotionally, and physically. We are the heroes of our own story. We write that story.
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One idea: no one, especially the ones I love wholeheartedly, should experiment with these substances unless they are truly psychically empowered. Even if one thinks they are, they will not be able to un-see what they will see on these substances. Reason for this statement came to me after the trip. When using psychedelics as tools and in a shamanic context, there is a great deal of challenge, pain and suffering one CAN go through during the experience - this, however, can be one of the most beneficial parts of an intense psychedelic experience. I love my friends and family too much for them to have to go through those types of experiences like I have been through. I care for them too deeply for them to encounter anguish, distress, and very very challenging experiences. Carl Jung once said, 'There is no coming to consciousness without pain.' And I think he was on to something. These types of experiences can possibly be the one thing one needs most in their life, and my loved ones may want this sort of thing to happen to them. If that's so, I would be right alongside them in their discovery of self. But after this trip, I couldn't bear to think of having the same pain and suffering I went through be put on anyone I truly love.
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After a very long and arduous 10-hour trip, through my expanded awareness at the time, a single word manifested in my head. This occurred after the remembrance that I indeed create and construct my own reality. This word will only imply meaning to myself, for only I can interpret the magnitude of the word corresponding to my life and all of life in general. The word was 'stay'. For those who have watched the movie Interstellar, you can see how this word seems to have a weight attached to it. Stay. Many of us here on earth move very fast and believe this seems to be the way to get things done. What this experience gave me was the affirmation to slow down, to stay; especially in the moment. Stay. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text"> What this experience gave me was the affirmation to slow down, to stay; especially in the moment. Stay. </div></div>Many of us are constantly pushing toward something, pushing toward a certain activity, or pushing toward a job/career, or pushing toward other people, or pushing in personal/social development, or pushing in the moment. I think letting go seems more appropriate than pushing. It's hard to get such a convoluted point across without contradicting oneself. People may be thinking I am against pushing towards things, and in life, you need to push towards certain things to grow and learn. Sure, maybe, and yes; but letting go seems to be truer to oneself and life almost. Things are unfolding as they should be, even if you have no conscious understanding of that, there seems to be a process flowing underneath it all. Letting go helps you flow. Plus, this seems to be a prescription for more happiness and less anxiety. I say letting go, not meaning let everything go in life and just not give a shit about anything; but let go of trivial things and negativity, and just have common sense. It seems to be like the coincidencia oppositorum, the union of opposites; where in order to push farther one needs to let go more.
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As Terence McKenna said, 'True ecstasy is a union of opposites. It's the felt experience of paradox, so it is exalting and illuminating at the same time that it's terrifying and threatening. It dissolves all boundaries'. For those that read this entire report, understand the set and setting I was in, as well as my intention. These factors greatly influenced the trip I had. Every acid trip, or mushroom, or MDMA, or salvia, or DMT trip will be different for everyone every single time. Where you are and your mindset at the time, as well as your intention sometimes seems even more influential than the actual substance you are ingesting. However, dose also greatly affects your experience as well. Even when you take steps toward a safe and secure journey on a psychedelic with a proper set and setting, very challenging experiences can still occur. However, I am sure glad I had this difficult experience in my own house, alone. If I was anywhere else, especially in an uncomfortable setting, who knows what evils could have been unleashed.
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The truths one sees while on psychedelics are not so much truths of reality, but more like models of reality. After having a deep, transforming experience one may think they have reached some form of enlightenment or nirvana. It may feel that way, but try to understand that the experience that you had seems to be a glimpse of only a small pixel of reality. A model one can take up and play around with. An idea to fool around with at the dinner table of the collective consciousness. Some models are more suitable than others, depending on your current situation it seems. It's difficult to say if one model seems better than another because no one can truly know this. I understand why psychedelic pioneers from the past say you can get trapped in the beauty and awe of a trip, and believe that that experience was the truth. Try and see that the 'truth' you experienced was just one truth out of infinite truths. Or one model out of infinite models. It seems as though it's our job to discern what models, ideas, and truths are worth preserving and discussing.
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I am still unpacking this experience.
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This seems only to be the beginning.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2016</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111209</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 23</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 5, 2018</td><td>Views: 968</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111209&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111209&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">143 lb</td>
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<!-- Start Body -->
Where do I begin? Well lets start off by saying these tabs we got were the most dank little things we have ever had. It was so intense that it made me go SUPER treehugger..something I am usually not. I'm honestly still coming down from my trip and I need to express this, yet I cant. It all started on Easter Day 2010, I met up with my friend G and C on a chilly cloudy day, we planned to watch the movie Hot Tub Time Machine and go back to G's house where we would drop our tabs and spend the night. It was all in a way first for all of us, my friend C was taking 3 tabs for his first time, I was taking it again in 3 years! And for my friend G well it truly was his first time.
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Now I'm going to fast forward through the night to the point of where we drop the tabs because that's the only part I want/need to explain...
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The time is now 9:53pm..as we got back from the movies we were nervous yet excited to begin our journey with Lucy, we went up to G's room and found our 10 strip tab and cut them into individual pieces and we all took 1 in symmetry. We decided to go on a walk and wait an hour then take our other tabs. We walk around G's neighborhood complex, we wander over to and fro for a long time and walk by this little mail slot area with a bright florescent light over it; right there we decide this is our place where we will go back to and see if everything looks the same. After a long long long hour we drop our second tab (for C his second and third tab) all the while sipping on some tasty orange juice, C calls his brother to and tells him to hang out with us. Now we wait for another 30 minutes walking all around smoking and watching everything. Suddenly C's brother drives up and embraces our presence so joyfully. By this time we were all feeling different and happy but not yet tripping...not even close. We all decide to go on a walk and we eventually get back to the mail slot..this is where my trip began..we all looked at the mail slot area and agree in harmony that something is different. At this moment I take notice to a tree next to a lamp post with purple flowers that were boasting with vibrance.. It was incredible! By now I start to feel overwhelmed and over stimulated and lay on the side walk smoking a cigarette and watching the smoke, my friend C joins be on the ground laying down and we became part of it.
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The time is around 11:30pm and we are laying on the sidewalk tripping! I start to see intense tracers of everyones faces and my hands. MY friend G starts to get a little paranoid and tells us to get up and that were talking too loud, which I totally understand because it was where he lived and it was his first time with Lucy, C and I struggle to get up from the ground as C says 'but it just feels so right..' We eventually get up and walk over near to C's brothers car and just hang out again. C starts to put on some Beatles 'Let it Be', I again start to grasp the the sidewalk and just lay down and enjoy life as my G starts to describe what he is feeling in immense detail. C, C's brother and I all nod in agreement 'yeah dude..just 'let it be' like the beatles would say.' By now we all decide we are about to peak so we better go inside so we all say our departures with C's brother, it was like losing a close friend, we all exchanged hugs and said bye.
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Somehow we end up in G's room trying to get comfortable. Lucky for us we had a strobe light available with color filters. I plug it in and set it on an open drawer with the green filter. Everything now starts to come in patterns. As G lied on his bed exploring the wonderful world of LSD, C and I tried to settle into these little gamers chairs but were relentless and eventually C pulled aside his chair and we both laid on the carpet.
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This is where my severe visuals start. I took off my glasses and closed my eyes and saw patterns of spades, diamonds, pyramids, and clovers under my eyelids all in rainbow! As C, G and I all stared with our eyes open in the room lit on and off and on and off again by the strobe light we (atleast I) started to see the energy in everything moving from one another between the desk then to the carpet then to me. Almost like everything was alive and connected and were all transparent and the electricity running between us all red, green and blue.
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Now the whole time we are listening to music and the I turned on 'The Unicorns' which have a trippy lo-fi sound to them and we all begin to peak hard. G, C and I start to watch the patterns on the ceilings and walls. We eventually get tired of this and look out the window...the extraordinary things we see..the leaves are like hands moving in a motion as if they were petting cats. The American flap on the neighbors house its roaring and colors are powerful. C and I are raving to go outside now; I start to explain nature and I want to be one with mothernature and that everything is alive and mustn't be killed! C explains 'Outside has been there all along, and now I have never wanted to go outside more in my life!' G calms us down by telling us that his Grandmother is sleeping downstairs and that we can't leave. I turn away from the window in disgust for ever making me want to go so bad..
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The time is now 2:00am and we are all doing our own thing. G is lying on his bed feeling 'it' and C is..well C is doing everything he is looking at the walls, relaxing, touching things that look weird. I begin to love my visuals and grab the strobe light and flash it on the wall watching how everything has a flower pattern. I begin to feel the urge to see a tree and be outside again. But G, C and I all gather together and start the strobe light again and try to substitute our crave to go outside with overpowering visuals; we go on explaining the colors for several of tens of minutes.
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The time is now 2:40am and we all hear rain outside! We all start to fumble around to get to the window! As we look out the blinds we want to go out more than ever. I try to enlighten the mood and pull all the blinds up and open the window. We all stare out into the abyss of the world and have a long conversation of rain and how its perfect for LSD for at least 30 minutes. I carry on babbling about how I want to be at one with nature and we all see eye to eye that we NEED to go outside but we CANT. I start to explain we are in a window of opportunity between the rain outside and 'fake' technology inside. C points out both literally and metaphorically we are in a window..we are all astonished.
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<br>
Eventually we all settle down because we are mad we cant go outside and don't want to tease ourselves with rain anymore. I close the blinds and we turn on the lights and look in G's huge closet mirror. We light up some incense sticks- they smelling fucking incredible! C and I start to 'wave' around and look in the mirror. I put my hands in my pockets and I feel dime. I pull it out feeling every single groove on it and tell C to feel it. C starts to rant about all the grooves as he passed it to G and we start to say it probably has a 100 years worth of history and suddenly C drops the dime! Oh no! ..oh well..who cares it was just dime......
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The time is now 3:24am and we are sitting down on the ground between the giant mirror and G's bed where he is still lying down. The strobe light is on once again and I show C a cord for G's alarm clock and we are astounded by its brilliance of pure whiteness. We show G and he is too speechless. We deicide to turn on the real lights and now I start to look into the wonders of my teeth and my mouth. I explain this to G and C. G says 'its like I'm seeing my teeth for the first time..' I begin to feel a Course Catalog for the university that I'll be going to that has a cover that looks like wood. It was breathing and actually felt like real wood! The great feeling we all know and love on LSD is the 'breathing' effect of everything and here it starts to take affect as we stare at the lamp shade, our shirts, our hands and G's bed sheets. We begin to listen 'The Unicorns' again, we start to find it amazing and how awesome it goes with our trip. At the end of one of their songs you hear them breaking a bottle in the song; I deliberately announce 'Did you hear that? That was just our ego shattering..' From now tlll around 5:00am we are on and off with the Television watching cartoons and frequently switching to human shows. We end up on Aqua Teen Hunger Force for a while and I started to really see the brilliance of color and patterns changing on the Television. The colors were not chaining but instead becoming constantly bright then brighter then just bright then brighter again! They were never NOT bright.
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The time now is 5:00am and we dawdle into the curiosities of the internet on C and I's iPod Touches. I visit a website<!--www.slightlywarped.com--> and become dumbfounded on a picture of the universe. I show G and C and we started to have intense visuals once again. We roam over to google and start image searching 'the Universe' I find several photos and save them. We all gravitate towards a specific picture of the Universe with stars and dots around it. I gazed stunned and stupefied that all the stars and dots became purple, yellow, blue and green and started to pulsate and almost look like million mini fireworks as the Universe in the middle swayed like and ocean. C and I must have looked at this photo for a total of two hours, that was how amazing it was.
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The time now is 5:50am and we have just ended watching the news on the Television dumbfounded by what was going on in the world. We all decide that at 6:15am we we're going to go outside. As C and I wait the seemingly endless 25 minutes to be up we gawk over the picture of the Universe again raving about how its still 'alive' after almost 8 hours and that we got some good shit for the visuals to last this long.
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The time is now finally 6:15am! We prepare to leave and get everything ready. We walk outside-it has now been 8 and 1/2 hours since we dropped-and everything is BRIGHT, VIBRANT, and BEAUTIFUL. It was the most amazing sight I have ever seen. I couldn't help but blurt out 'Its like everything happened like it was on purpose!' We walked around for a bit taking in everything and then sat a park just looking at everything nature holds for us for an hour. As we are walking C points out all these snails on the sidewalk; C and I jump onto the rode scared to kill a life as G just continues walking..
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<span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. <a href="/chemicals/show_image.php?i=dmt/dmt_contraindications1.gif">Don't do it!</a>]</span>
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<br>
We walk back to my car and I ask G and C 'Wanna go for a drive?' They animately say 'Yes!' I start the car and put on my iPod; The Beatles!!!! We soon discover that The Beatles fit and sync with everything! Everything is connected! About what we talk about and how it comes up in the song we are listening to. I back up slowly and start to drive..I travel down long roads (suddenly 'The Long and Winding Road' comes on the speakers!) and drive forever! We get to a big hill and once we got over it there it was- the most beautiful mountain side ever! We all fume and bellow at the sight. However we get to the end of our road and make a U-turn back home. Driving now was just pure euphoria while listening to the Beatles. Now instead of going back we decide to drive by our High School and look at it. On the way I saw a girl in a car next to me and was astounded! She was ALLURING, LOVELY, PREPOSSESSING, and all the things a goddess should be. I didn't want to say anything, but after seeing other women in other cars I had to say it 'Dude I'm just gunna say it, is it just me or are women just sooooo beautiful!!!' They were just like vastly bewitching and C &amp; G both agree and we all explain how we all saw different women in different cars that were all drop-dead GORGEOUS!
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The time is now 7:40am and we have just arrived back at G's house. We go to his room and watch Television. A Jackie Chan movie was on call Mr. Nice Guy...Jackie Chan was intense!! He was our hero and savior; this guy could use anything around him to fend off evil! He was about to be ran over by a gigantic construction truck and used his feet to kick off the tire while on his back on the ground to avoid getting run over! Jackie Chan, a innocent bystander, risked his life to save to two girls he didn't even know!! I start to crack my neck, knuckles and toes and explain how good it feels. C joins in on the cracking and for a moment we just sat and cracked. We all suddenly get hungry and start craving some Chicken Biscuits from Chick-Fil-A!
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The time is now 8:25am and as we leave we wonder if we are still tripping so we look at the picture of the Universe again it was still moving and bright! We go outside and flick rain drops off leaves enjoying and soaking in everything. I drive us to Chick-Fil-A where we gorge on the best food known to man but suddenly after I eat one I start to become profound on the reflections of everything created from the rain and became full. C &amp; G were still hungry so they ordered another one and feasted away! But something happened..as I watched them eat those Chicken Biscuits I realized the pain the chicken had to go threw to make us have a happy meal. I felt disgusted and yet at the same time I felt it was a fair trade off because they taste so good.
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The time is now 9:00am we eventually go back to G's house and bam! There was another Jackie Chan movie on Television called 'Who Am I?' We all laugh and watch. We can't stay on one channel and switch back and forth between the Jackie Chan Film, The Fresh Prince, and a show on the SyFy channel with Jennifer Love Hewitt. Eventually we settle on the SyFy show and start listening to 'The Unicorns' again and surprisingly it synced up perfectly!?! The song ended precisely as the show when to commercial..you had to be there.
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Finally it is now 11:00am and C &amp; I decide it's time to go home. We gather our stuff together for awhile all the while listening to 'The Unicorns' We get to my car and we say our farewells to G and drive off after a bit of rustling in the car just making sure we had everything. I drop off C at his home after an awesome night and tell him it was incredible and for him to say 'Hi' to his brother for me.
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I'm HOME! I park my car in the garage feeling the music flow through me. I get all my stuff and walk slowly to my room I get to the top of the stairs and a strange but similar figure stands there asking me if I even slept, I responded 'ehh not really.' My mom then advises me to shower and get some rest. I can only say yes. I put all my stuff away and in the fullness of time step into the shower...wow..what can I say..it was like a..REBIRTH!! I step out of the shower a new man. I get dressed in some comfy clothes and go downstairs to have some water and then it hit me! These were memories that I remember but were all jumbled up and had not line of chronological order. I quickly went back to my room to chat with C &amp; G on aim to reminisce of a night that only happened hours ago!
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I then became incredibly hungry and decided to heat up some Extra Crispy KFC mmmmm finger lickin' good! As I reached inside the bucket I saw some crumbs of the Extra Crispy skin of the KFC at the bottom (you know what I'm talking about!) and I ate them with my fingers like a starving caveman! Ironically my friend G hates the skin on fried chicken! What blasphemy!! Anyways that leads up to the time being now- the present: a gift. My chicken is downstairs waiting for me and I and writing this report still. SO now I must end it; BUT let me end it by saying this: LSD is something you cannot describe with words I only maybe wrote out 65% of what happened last night on this report. If I wrote all 100% of it it would be too long as it already is!!! FUCK look how long this shit is!<!--Well I leave you off with these words: If you take LSD will find your inner psyche..--><!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2010</td><td width="90">ExpID: 84714</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 17</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 11, 2018</td><td>Views: 791</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=84714&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=84714&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Nature / Outdoors (23), Music Discussion (22), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">1P-LSD</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.25 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">1P-LSD</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">70 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Thorax focal point
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I finally got my hands on some acid after trying to find it for about a year. I bought 5 250ug tabs (about 13€ each).
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I have long been scared of LSD. Having had some traumatic experiences in my life (lost my father) I worried these things could affect me in a bad way. I'm also that kind of person that overthinks everything and feels a lot of paranoia. I was sure I'd have a bad trip.
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I took my first dose on the 13th of february at my apartment, approx 80ug (1/3 of a tab) and it didn't do anything as I attempted to redose an hour in to make it kick in. Smoked some weed to help it get going but nothing. I was a bit discouraged. I talked with my dealer and he said I might just be very resistant. I had rolled on MDMA just a few days prior however so we judged that might be why. I was still nervous as could be about taking this low dose.
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18th of february, I woke up at 06:00. It was a nice morning, dark and quiet but yet comforting. I contemplated taking the LSD in the early morning for a bit before deciding to take half a tab at 06:30, and then I took another quarter by 07:00. <!--Just under 200ug. -->
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Within the first 20 minutes I felt a sudden change. It was subtile yet distinct. I was wondering if this was placebo or not. The next hour or so was quite uneventful. I smoked some weed on my balcony and went back in by the computer; youtube. Watching old BF3 sketches was very fun. Actually at this point everything started to become very funny.
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I went on giggling for minutes on end. Every joke in the video struck me. As I was trying to gather myself from the latest laughing attack the screen suddenly vibrated. All the lines became squiggly just like I'd expect. It looked very real. The more I looked at it the more it begun to wave around. I stood up and walked around my apartment for a bit - everything was getting very swirly and I couldn't look at anything for too long or else it swirled beyond recognition. But it was fine, I was happy about it, intrigued to see how everything around me started to morph.
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I remember feeling cold over my skin and it felt so intense and interesting. I pinpointed in my mind the exact feeling of it against my skin and felt it shower over me. Every sensory input was just magic. I also felt like I was the same as the wood my bed was made out of, or any other material. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Every sensory input was just magic. I also felt like I was the same as the wood my bed was made out of, or any other material.</div></div>
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I put on some music on my wireless headset and blasted away. It was a generic summer music mix on youtube with some half naked girl on the thumbnail. I watched as she danced for me on the screen knowing full well I was watching a still picture. I walked around my place some more and at this point it felt like the world was updating once ever second or so, like watching a series of pictures in succession, but yet with a very smooth transition between the images. The music wasn't doing too much yet though.
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Now, at this point everything was moving and frankly I couldn't even tell if it was supposed to or not. I had frequent laughing attacks and a moderate euphoric state while I explored my apartment looking at things, wondering about my own interesting ideas.
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Then it happened, I closed my eyes and in a split second orbs of light were swirling around my body, falling towards my center. As the focal point of energy became my chest the most euphoric feeling I've ever experienced washed over me. It was a lucid light euphoria, burning like a bright sun in my chest. I let a few tears of joy run down my cheeks. Everything was in unity. Everything could be channeled through me.
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The music was causing my senses to change, music had color and it would create vivid visual distortions. My eyelids felt like flintlock hammers, closing in an explosion of colors sparking patterns of bright neon '8-bit' bricks that washed over the peripheral of my eyes in all the colors of the rainbow.
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Again I entered the euphoric state I was in before, the anticipation had me giggle like a small girl as the universe aligned itself to channel its energy through me. I closed my eyes, orbs, collision, light, everything. My body felt elevated as I floated through the room, at my fingertips I could choose to enter a more euphoric state at will. I felt in total control. Tears of joy fell on my face. I could see something beautiful.
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At around 12 I was coming down a bit. The euphoria had settled a bit and I decided to try and do something. My computer screen was swirling so much I couldn't operate it. And it felt extremely weird using something with my hands. Like they were cold and dead.
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As I sat by the computer trying to figure something to do I watched the girl on the summer playlist video thumbnail. Suddenly everything went dark, the pleasant picture of a young woman turned into a witch and a dark fog shrouded my periphery. I was a bit startled by this and tried to reach for the mouse to change the music. My hand looked sick, morphing into a green/purple disgusting extremity. I realised what was going on, stood up and walked into another room. It helped immediately (thanks internet!).
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The come down was annoying. The euphoria only lasted for the first few hours and then I was stuck in a very vividly morphing world while being relatively normal. It wasn't all bad, but at some point I would have wanted to watch a movie or something but I really couldn't see a thing.
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Comparing it to MDMA, it was much more intense. The euphoria is on another level. It felt more unstable, lasted considerably shorter and needed a lot more work to get there though while MDMA is just a sure ticket to happiness. It felt like an effort going through the LSD trip, like I had to remain vigilant and on guard. Absolutely worth it though.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111654</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 24</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 12, 2018</td><td>Views: 781</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111654&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111654&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Glowing Experiences (4), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">10 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">135 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<span class="erowid-warning">[Erowid Note:
The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]</span>
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After about 35 minutes I was experiencing and intensity I have never felt before. When I saw the frame of the house that was being built bending in pinching itself until either sides touched, I knew I may have done something wrong. Going inside to my room with three other friends to listen to music the intensity was increasingly more more and overwhelming the more I recognized it. As we go inside we turn on the music, we all lie down to stare at my painted ceiling and walls with glow in the dark stars all over the room. Everything I had seen was roughly normal considering I had only eaten at most 3 hits at one time until this. Again, everything was about normal until I peaked.
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The stars that covered the ceiling had suddenly transformed into a full three dimensional reality and I was in the middle of it...naturally. Some of the stars advanced towards me, some of the stars fell into the ceiling going further and further away. And some seemed to just wiggle around where they were. And then I noticed what the strobe light was doing to the painted ceiling and walls.
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The walls and ceiling were all colorful graffiti style words going up the walls and into the ceiling and down again, so this became very interesting. When the strobe light was out all there seemed to be was an infinite sea of stars I was easily lost in. When the light flashed, words crawled out of the walls and onto the ceiling which in turn melted of the ceiling and back onto the walls. Then it was dark...nothing but stars...again a flash and the words crawled all over the room in increasingly more and more undescribable fashions. Then I noticed the ceiling fan.
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The ceiling fan had one red L.E.D. light attached to each of the blades. However, when the strobe light have seemed to stop the fan, the blades stood motionless and wavingly pointed to the floor and drifted back up again. To each still and bending fan blade three red planetlike orbs with clouds spewing off of them rotated and circled each fan blade. By this time I felt I chould maybe close my eyes....this is getting to be a bit more than I had anticipated.
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When I close my eyes...it doesn't work. My eyelids were like clear glass. When they were shut, it was as if they were still open. The light flashed, the words crawled, the room darked, the stars shined, the fan melting the orbs circling, my mind....BLOODY SHATTERED!
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By this time I stand up to leave the room, as I advance towards the door ivy grew into my way reaching out with leaves unfolding. Knowing they were no arms of ivy growing at unheard of rates in my room I press on and walk right through the things. I reach my red door which had a white cross on it with a mirror and the word 'lazy' written in small font underneath. Below the large cross is written 'life ends sometime' also in white. I stumble through the ivy and reach the door where I stop dead in my tracks and look on in absolute...shock. I say 'hell with it I gotta get outa here.' And open the door.
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I walk into a white and gold house with glowing golds fading into shining whites and shadows crawling as i make my way to the bathroom to splash water in my face. I turn on the rainbows, I mean the bathroom light, with sink water I splash it onto my face. I open my eyes and watch my face bubble like pasta sauce with my meatball eye falling off my chin. 'I need to lay down.'
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So I lay down and for what I recall to be about forty minutes with my eyes closed were a tree, a human, and the planet. First the tree grew out of the muddy ground, decayed, then fell the the earth. This cycled repeatingly over and over again until the human appeared. The human rose out of the muddy ground, decayed and fell back in. This repeated for who knows how long until the planet happened. The planet was going around the sun, zooming in quickly to make the continents visible the continents swirled all over the planet running into each other still zooming in to watch a mountain form. Then rain clouds formed over the mountain falling as rain melting the mountain back into the ground. This repeated itself for who knows how long. Thinking maybe nap time was over I went outside.
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Outside I watched the moon fall behind a hill. Behind the hill shone a bright and powerful white light. The white light turned and came down the hill as car head lights. The head lights lifted off the road and beacame stars in the sky. The trees were all dragons flapping their wings and swimming through the world. While the boards on the porch were shrinking and stretching beneath my feet. And thats about all I remember.
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I never experienced any visitations this night. No real intense revelation to change my perception. No enhanced powers of creativity or ideas. It was simply souping around and I was an observer....in the middle of it all naturally. Things were strange and everything was a picture. A picture that was transformed in every single way you could imagine. When I started to come down, I looked at a clock and realized this had gone on for 22 hours and I had not eaten. So in an intense after trip 'shower period' where everything is lovely and everything is one mystifying. I had breakfast, which turned out to be a mix of vegetables in my Mom's home made soup.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2006</td><td width="90">ExpID: 56804</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 12, 2018</td><td>Views: 965</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=56804&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=56804&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Alone (16), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">157 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I usually take LSD when I have big questions about life and myself, last year I had made some huge changes after taking LSD that it positively affected my life. So one Friday night I decided to consult with what I call 'The LSD Gods' (great name am I right?). I took 250 ugs at 4:30 pm and went downstairs with my mother to watch the rest of the movie called 'Lucy' while waiting for the LSD to kick in. All in all my mood at that point was really good.
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Close to the end of the movie I started to feel the body effects LSD usually gives me so at 6:30pm I decided to go take a bath and use my new bath bomb I got. It was probably the best bath I had ever taken, I lifted the bath bomb out the water and watched the bubbles for a long time. By this time I was seeing small visuals and got out the bath. At 7pm I ended up laying down and watching YouTube videos of soap cutting (yes soap cutting I know) after a while I decided to ask my mom to take me to the gas station for a drink. As I got into the car the visuals and body effects kicked in a lot harder. I've never been in a car on my come up so it was really different. We got what we needed and headed home, mind you my mom has no idea I am tripping at this point. In the car for some unknown reason I wanted to laugh but I knew my mom would ask what's funny so I tried to turn the other way and hold it in but tears came to my eyes and she ended up asking what's wrong. Now me and my mom don't have the best relationship and I have been trying to mend it so all of the sudden I start thinking about that and go into full blown crying and start talking to her about our relationship.
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<br>
We got home and I asked if we could sit outside for a few because I really wanted to talk more with my mom. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I asked if we could sit outside for a few because I really wanted to talk more with my mom.</div></div> We ended up talking in a full blown 2 hour conversation and looking back I feel like it was so helpful to our relationship and my understanding of our relationship. At this point I'm just staring at the brick walkway we have and seeing so many patterns in it (mind you my mom still and as I'm writing this doesn't know I was tripping) I got a call from my work saying I needed to come in which was really sucky because I wasn't going to get sleep that night but after I ended the call, I then for some reason really want to go on a walk seeing as we live in basically the middle of nowhere (we don't really have signal except 1 bar so unless we have wifi we don't get calls on our cell phone until we go about 20 minutes away from where we live). So here me and my mom are walking (I also didn't feel out of breath at all like I normally do with my asthma) and it was so enjoyable that I didn't even realize we were walking as far as we did. We eventually got back home around 8 pm and I went up to my room for the night.
<br>
<br>
I didn't really do much after that because I felt so emotionally drained in a sense when talking to my mom and felt like I got out what I needed to say but never could with my mom. For the rest of the night I was though in a really good mood and watched my favorite tv show Wynonna Earp (That episode was a really weird one too where everyone was under a spell and I thought it might make me go into a bad trip but it didn't which was good because I really enjoyed the episode.) and really just listened to music and was on Facebook looking at videos. I did decide at 11 pm to take another bath (I love baths) and realized my jaw started to really hurt from clenching it subconsciously. I also (which yes I am still kinda afraid of the dark) wasn't afraid of walking in the dark back to my room and even days after I still wasn't afraid.
<br>
<br>
I went back into my room and watched more videos by PsychedSubstance and documentaries by Vox, Vice, etc. (I really like learning a lot more when I'm high or tripping but I also like learning things when I'm not high or tripping either). I then started to worry about not getting sleep before a 8 hour shift at 11 am but I wasn't worried with anxiety like I usually am.
<br>
<br>
Around 4 am I shut all the lights out and tried to sleep which to no avail I didn't sleep. I did however see a lot more visuals in the dark but my body and jaw hurt to the point where I took a bath with epsom salt. It still didn't work so I decided to wait till 8 am to call in sick because there was just no way as I already felt so tired but couldn't sleep due to the LSD. After laying for what felt like an eternity I finally fell asleep.
<br>
<br>
I had some really weird dreams but don't remember what happened in them, I just woke up really confused about what happened in them. I ended up sleeping till 10 pm and my mom thought I was sick (nope mom just tired from the LSD) but I ended up feeling some positives from the trip. My severe anxiety which causes me to have panic attacks daily was almost COMPLETELY gone. I also had some really good insight on my relationships with people and contacted them to try and fix the damage I had done in the past. I had better self-esteem about myself, and I also noticed that I haven't been eating as much or more like I get full quicker but I don't know if that's just the after effects of the LSD (even though it didn't happen last time when I took more<!--around 1,500 ug-->).
<br>
<br>
All in all this trip has given me a lot of positive outlooks on my life and I am glad I made the decision to take LSD that Friday night.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 112301</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 17</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 14, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,031</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=112301&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=112301&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Families (41), Relationships (44), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), General (1), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">145 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It was the first month of my freshman year of college and I had ended up with a roommate, Evan, with whom I got along extremely well. We both listened to Phish and the Grateful Dead, we both liked smoking pot and we had both tripped at least a few times before. He told me that the first time he tripped changed his life significantly for the better; he lost weight, stopped playing World of Warcraft, and started living in a much healthier way. I had tripped before at a concert but I didn’t have any revelations, just some intense visuals while listening to the music. We decided that the two of us as well as our friend Madeline would go to a gigantic local park with nature areas and trip together as a way to inaugurate our first year at school.
<br>
<br>
We took our acid sitting on a bench on campus, two hits each on paper squares about a centimeter square in size. Smiling with excitement, we mounted our bikes and set off for the park, which was about a fifteen-minute ride away. By the time we reached the center of the park, about 25 minutes later, I could feel an incredible feeling in my chest. The only way Evan and I could verbalize it was that we were feeling “potential”. My surroundings gradually started to look more and more colorful and I could see the sun starting to cast alpenglow on Mt. Rainier as we approached sunset. When a deer and a peacock simultaneously approached our group to within 10 feet, sending us into a state of silent awe, I knew we were starting to trip really hard.
<br>
<br>
We decided to go further into the park as the sun started to set. It was darker in the woods, but we were explorers in a strange land and were unafraid. We sat down in a clearing far off the path, completely surrounded by trees, and took another tab each. I started pouring dirt all over myself because I had realized that there is nothing inherently wrong with being dirty, it’s just a perception we’ve developed living in American society. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">We sat down in a clearing far off the path, completely surrounded by trees, and took another tab each. I started pouring dirt all over myself because I had realized that there is nothing inherently wrong with being dirty, it’s just a perception we’ve developed living in American society.</div></div> We reached a parking lot and I laid down on the ground and put on my headphones. I listened to the Doors’ American Prayer album, a collection of poetry set to music, and watched new constellations appear in the sky and swirl around like a whirlpool. I could feel an incredible energy in all parts of my body. I couldn’t speak except to make weird moaning noises. I was awestruck, overcome with the beauty of this planet. I felt what I can only describe as a deep, profound love for Earth and all that resides on it.
<br>
<br>
Later that night, when we returned to the dorms, I was coming down but could still feel the effects somewhat. I felt a powerful need to communicate the revelation that I had, that every human being is valuable and deserves to be loved. “The only real sin is harming another human”, I said. I would say to strangers I met, “I don’t know you, but I love and respect you, and I’m glad we exist in the same universe.” <pullquote>I couldn’t help but feel such profound love for every human I encountered that it almost moved me to tears.
<br>
<br>
I felt that I had found the key to the archetypal religious experience. I was thoroughly convinced that God resides in our own self-awareness. The thing we’ve been searching for since the dawn of time is really ourselves, we just haven’t realized it yet. I came to terms with how short and insignificant our lives are, and rather than a depressing thought, it was quite comforting to know that my own life is miniscule in comparison with the human race and this planet.
<br>
<br>
Since this trip I have continued to feel differently. I am much more spiritual than I was before. I can still feel the deep love for every human being and I have adopted as my philosophy the words of a Moody Blues song: “Love everybody and make them your friend.” I have made an effort to treat every person I meet with respect and to make them feel as if I am glad to be with them. While I do not advocate the use of LSD to anyone who is not themselves sure of their desire to use it, I believe it can be a tool to significantly improve one’s life. It is a big decision, but I feel exponentially more mature and wiser since tripping. I’ve stopped drinking and smoking cigarettes, which hold no appeal for me anymore. All in all, my acid experience was among the best things ever to happen to me.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2009</td><td width="90">ExpID: 81980</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 16, 2018</td><td>Views: 819</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=81980&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=81980&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Glowing Experiences (4), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</pullquote></div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:10</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:20</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">175 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It was a day like any other, my friends and I were just sitting around and had nothing to do, in an attempt to buy marijuana the dealer had just ran out, but he had acid for sale for 8$ a tab. My whole life I had been curious to try acid, I always wanted to know what it was like to hallicinate. The other friends thought it was a bad idea, so they left, leaving me and my other good friend who was also interested. We bought 6 tabs then went back to his house.
<br>
<br>
8:30pm : my friend and I decide to drop 1 tab, just by placing it on the tongue and letting it disolve for about 10 minutes then swallowing, we repeated this process till the tabs were gone and we each had 3
<br>
<br>
9:00pm : I dont want to say I was feeling anything yet, but I was definitly feeling different, very relaxed and light headed
<br>
<br>
9:30pm : something strange was definitly happening now, it felt like my body was a bit floaty and felt oddly like jello
<br>
<br>
10:00pm : at this point the body jello feeling grew more intense and my friend and I could not stop laughing at everything, just laughing histarically, mild rushes of euphoria.
<br>
<br>
10:30pm : this is when the first visuals started kicking in with trails on lights, and the feelings of euphoria had grown more intense, and the jello feeling was still present, could not have a normal conversation without losing train of thought
<br>
<br>
11:00pm :Everything just seemed to make sense, no matter what I talked about, it looped around and came right back plugging itself into the most random outcomes <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Everything just seemed to make sense, no matter what I talked about, it looped around and came right back plugging itself into the most random outcomes</div></div>, I couldnt stop smiling, and at this point the hallucinations were really intense, things would bubble when I looked at them, and my friends face would morph around and I would start laughing because of how funny it looked, we decided to take a walk through a local park and everything in my vision was bending and comming at me, and as I walked by things they had huge trails on them, everything looked intense
<br>
<br>
11:30pm : everything in my vision would now bend sideways and things would drift around, I hallucinated a tree that wasnt there, the night sky looked absolutely amazing, and I could not catagorize how I felt at this point
<br>
<br>
12:00am : we decided to walk back to his house, noticing that time took forever, as to what seemed like hours had only been 15 minutes, the jello feeling was not as intense, and the visuals sort of dimmed down a bit, but things were still funny and morphing
<br>
<br>
12:30am : it strangely felt like I was peaking again when I thought I had already peaked because I then got another rush of hallucinations, only this time, I could taste textures in my mouth that werent there, and I could see what I was listening too
<br>
<br>
2:30am : everything from 12:30 had continued until this point, where things gradually grew less intense, the body high feeling had mellowed down to just a slightly floaty feeling, objects seemed like they were on their own dimensions and different different ways form each other
<br>
<br>
3:00am : just sitting up late at night watching random things on youtube, everything was still changing colors and peoples faces were morphing around, I felt very relaxed and content at this point, though if I were to try and sleep, it would be impossible
<br>
<br>
Throughout the night the hallucinations would come and go but slowly and slowly getting less intense, thought process was a bit easier, and eventually at 9am the next day, I had gotten some sleep and slept through the whole day, I awoke sometime the next night, and felt completely fine
<br>
<br>
I would have to say that LSD defintly blows my mind, and it opened new doors in myself. In the future I wil definitly try it again.
<br>
<br>
Anyway hope you liked my report
<br>
<br>
Peace<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2010</td><td width="90">ExpID: 88696</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 15</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 21, 2018</td><td>Views: 977</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=88696&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=88696&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), First Times (2), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">8 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">175 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Here's a little background of my drug use.
<br>
<br>
LSD: most I have taken is 10 tabs, was just fine even drove around town 'exploring' as me and my lady called it
<br>
Pain pills: oxy 10's, hydrocodone (pill and liquid) my favorite drugs are opiates.
<br>
MDMA: I love Molly, me and my friends would always snort the shit as it hit us faster and gave us more of a tweaky feeling and I liked the tweaky feelings
<br>
Meth: was told it was Molly, but upon looking at it, it was obvious meth, but didn't stop us from doing it. I really enjoyed meth a lot, but feel I got lucky the first time and didn't get addicted
<br>
Addy: not my favorite thing in the world as I took 2 30mg er's and was up for 2 days in a row
<br>
Alcholo: not bad, Can be enjoyable, but I would prefer to stay sober if anything.
<br>
Air duster: my most favorite thing in the world. Nothing compares to airduster in my mind.
<br>
Pot: used to be a heavy smoker, but it's just not worth it anymore
<br>
Kratom: I also love kratom as it mimics opiates for me and I can not do any 'real' drugs per say
<br>
Xanax: I used to really enjoy Xanax, the mentally calming effect it had, the carelessness, but I grew to hate it because of the stupid decisions I would make when I'm barred out. (Huffed gas)
<br>
Gas: didn't really effect me, felt like a weak air duster, so I didn't enjoy it.
<br>
<br>
With that out of the way, I would like to say I am some what an experienced tripper. I used to kind of sell acid, and was tripping about every other day. Basically when I took acid, I was trying to force a spiritual experience, see crazy shit, etc. I never really respected her. I loved the intensity of it which is why I always went for the higher than 'normal' dosages.
<br>
<br>
So let's get into the story that scarred me, and made me never ever wanna drop acid again!
<br>
Me and the lady couldn't really do drugs out of fear of getting tested, so we resulted to drugs that didn't stay long in your system: Molly and acid, basically.
<br>
<br>
One night we had planned to trip with our friend out of town. We had planned it basically a week or two in advanced, our friend was gonna drop two and our plan was to drop 5, but ended up doing 8. Most of the acid I got was pure, never the fake synthetic shit, I wasn't about that. All of my acid had been on blotter paper, whether it had art on it, or just white on white. This acid we got, we were told it was a little weaker than the last batch, so that's when we decided to take 8. We had a total of 20 tabs, 16 of them were mine and the ladies, 4 was the homies.
<br>
<br>
So we get to our friends house, about 40 mins away and right as we got there dropped the tabs. I didn't really keep track of time, but I will guesstimate when everything happened.
<br>
<br>
T:4:20 p.m.- 8 tabs on mine and my ladies tounge, friend did not drop his yet because wasn't sure if he wanted to trip or not. The acid had no taste, other than the cardboard it was on. The guy I got it from drew on the hit sizes.
<br>
<br>
T:4:40- lady tells me she is already getting pretty heavy visuals and is feeling quite off, she's acting kind of distant, but we can both be quote shy at some times, so I thought it was that. It did strike me as odd that she was already getting heavy visuals, but we both didn't eat anything the whole day for this reason, and this was the most acid shes eaten so I didn't think that much of it. (I wish I had. Looking back now, there was so many warning signs of her having a bad trip)
<br>
<br>
T 5:30 p.m. I'm starting to slightly come up and our friend, my lady and I had just gotten back from the gas station (our friend drove) and we had gotten some smokes, me and my lady chain smoke like crazy on acid. For me it kinda levels me and keeps me connected to the world. So we're walking through the woods behind my homies house and everynow and then my lady says the phrase *it happened again*, I didn't think to much of it (I wish I had, like I said, so many warning signs of a bad trip was coming) I'm starting to get enhanced vision, H.D. Vision, as I call it and the lady said, the next day, that she was tripping harder than ever at that point, she said it looked like the grass was coming off the ground, and everything looked very cartoonist
<br>
T:6 p.m.- were out of the woods now and I can feel the acid in full effect. It was hitting me very hard at this point, I was seeing intense tracers, depth perception was fucked, and some very beautiful patterns all over the ground. The friend asked us '1-10 how hard are you tripping?' And instantly the lady said '10' which really struck me as odd cause I was just now starting to come up and she was saying she's full blown tripping.
<br>
<br>
Some time passes, we watched the Simpson's Halloween special, very hilliarious on acid, we were all enjoying our self, but I could not shake the feeling that something was off. The movie ended and we were all a little hungry, so we went down stairs to see what there was, nothing really looked appealing so we just got water. The lady was acting very different, she just seemed so disconnected from everything around her. I shook it off, thinking it's just the large amount of acid we'd done, and her being kinda shy around newish people (our friend)
<br>
<br>
We go back to my friends room, and start playing some dead rising. It was very difficult to play, I was tripping really hard, but not getting very much visuals, more just a 'mind trip', I guess you could say. The lady was seeming reaalllyyy disconnected from the world at this point. She kept saying 'I wanna play a game', and we'd hand her the controller and she wouldn't really do much, so shed hand it back and then a couple minutes later 'I wanna play a game'.
<br>
<br>
Eventually, it was just my friend playing a game and I was on social media on my phone and just talking to my friend and the lady everynow and then, but the lady kept saying 'it happened again over and over, about 5 minutes in between each other I estimate.
<br>
<br>
I started to think, maybe I'm doing something that I do not realize, and she doesn't like it. I wish that were the case.
<br>
<br>
So we go downstairs cause we wanted to smoke, just me and the lady, our friend was doing something I don't remember and he didn't wanna get up. We're on the porch of my friends house and smoking a cig, and I ask my lady 'are you okay? You seem kind of off' and all she says is 'yeah' we keep smoking our stoggy, and I remember looking out onto his front yard (his house is on a decent sized bit of land), and it was dark by this time, and all I could see was fractals, patterns and colors. I had never experienced this before and it kinda threw me off and freaked me out, but I held it together and just focused on something else. I told the lady, 'this Is kind of getting really intense and I just want it to stop, but I also don't want it to stop', this was maybe the 3 hour mark of our trip, so we hadn't even hit our peak yet. The lady agreed with me, but still something seemed so off with her.
<br>
We go back inside and bull shit around with our homie, and he tells was about an hour prior, he had dropped 2 of his tabs, and that made us happy. I loved getting fucked up with friends.
<br>
<br>
About 30 minutes to an hour pass, and we go back down stairs to go out side and mess around in his big garage, and smoke cigs and he was gonna smoke some pot.
<br>
<br>
He goes down stairs and goes outside, but when my lady started down the stairs, she fell flat on her back and slid all the way down the stairs, it was kind of comical how she slid down them, but it was the love of my life, so I didn't find it all that funny. I made sure she was okay and asked again If she was okay (mentally) and she said 'okay' or 'I think' so this whole time were still trying to get outside my lady was becoming more and more disconnected from reality. We were all standing around talking, she was against the wall and just collapsed for some reason (she didn't pass out or anything, just lost her footing I guess). When she stood up, the look in her eyes was very odd, it was pure embarrassment, mixed with 'why tf did I just do that, is everything okay?' It kinda broke my heart, that look in her eye because she wanted to make a good impression on my friends and be 'cool' and didn't wanna make a fool of her self. She can be very self conscious sometimes, but she has kind of grew outta that and also all my friends love to chill with her and I, so this night did not ruin that.
<br>
<br>
After her falling, things started to change for the worse, she was fully disconnected from reality at this point, but I was also to high to realize what was going on exactly. In my head, it was the acid making her feel pretty good and just goofing around, doing weird stuff, but it was anything but that.
<br>
<br>
At one point she was laying on the floor on her stomach, shaking her rump-a-dump around acting very unlike her self. This was very odd because she can also be insecure as well, and is nothing like a hoe that'll do this for the fuck of it, but again I was still to high from the acid to put two and two together that she was so far from reality, she didn't really know what she was doing.
<br>
<br>
We finally make it out side and goto the garage when things really went down hill. We were all messing around, giving each other shit and the lady was acting all big and tough so we told her to show us and pump some iron. She didn't really acknowledge that and did something else I can't recall. She started acting very violently towards me and my friend, but I was still under the impression she was goofing around and having a good time, so we kinda wrestled a little bit, but she was actually hitting kind of hard and struck me with a good right, so I put a stop to that. At one point she was screaming and yelling and that started making my friend kind of angry because of his neighbors possibly calling the cops and they kinda got into it and started at each other, but I instantly shoved both of them back telling them to knock it off.
<br>
<br>
My lady friend at this point was uncontrollable, walking/running around yelling at the top of her lungs, flaling around and what not.
<br>
<br>
We took her inside due to the scare of possible cops being involved, and she just wouldn't stop acting like this. My friend was still coming up on his 'cid and for a start to a trip all of this going on would not call for a good trip. He actually started to have a panic attack, and at one point was almost in tears. This whole time, I just wasn't really taking this serious as I really thought she would just start acting normal again and she was just enjoying her self. I thought she was horny cause she kept saying certain things pointing towards that and the acid was making it really intense to where she couldn't control her self (I really don't know what was going through my brain. I was so god damn high from the acid) so I took her to the bathroom, adjusted my self ;), and showed her that I could not stick it in right now due to the acid giving me limp dick. She saw that and kinda straightened up for a minute and I felt so much relieve, but then 'boom!' She was right back to acting how she was.
<br>
<br>
<span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. <a href="/chemicals/show_image.php?i=dmt/dmt_contraindications1.gif">Don't do it!</a>]</span>
<br>
<br>
She was screaming at the top of her lungs now, and my friend was panicking more and more at this point and yelled 'do we need to take her to the hospital or something' and I said 'bro I really don't know this has never happened' (this was when it finally clicked that something was seriously rong roughly 4-4-1/2 hours into this trip) I told her, 'if you don't straighten up were gonna have no choice but to take you to the hospital. You're parents are gonna be involved (she was kicked outta her house and not on good terms and moved in with me) cops etc' and she sobered up really quick and said 'okay' and I said 'you good now, babe?', and she said something that shed been repeating a lot and so I carried her outta the bathroom saying to the friend ' were going to the hospital idk what's going on with her, Can we take your car I don't trust mine?', and he was basically already ready. I carry her out of the house, she pukes a little while being carried, I've been around tons of people puking, and puked a lot my self from duster, so it doesn't bother me, but something about this little puke she did the sound of it I can still hear clearly to this day (8-9 months later) I don't know how to explain it. On the way to hospital, I text my mom our safe word (shes a great mother, she doesn't like me doing drugs or anything, but she said if I'm ever in danger or anything text her this safe word and she'll be there as fast as she can) she wasn't replying so I called her 2 times in a row and she finally answered and I explained to her the situation. At this point, in the car, my lady was kinda screaming and what not, but basically just repeating certain phrases over and over, and having spastic movements. My mom told us to not go to hospital so no one official is involved, including her parents like right as we were at the front door, so we just parked there. My step dad, I think is secretly very knowledgeable when it comes to drugs, so I'm sure that was his idea. They told us to get some orange juice to see of that'll help her, it ended up being spilt over my friends car. My friend started freaking out even harder, and couldn't drive and for some odd reason, I was practically sober, wasn't getting much visuals unless I really focused, and felt pretty calm in the head to try to keep the peace between us all, so I drove us to the house.
<br>
<br>
Basically by now she was not screaming or anything, she was just repeating phrases over and over. She would be like this until she came down, some 6 hours later. This killed me to see her like this. This girl is the love of my life, and seeing her so out of control, having no idea what she's doing, out of her mind hurt so bad and it still sometimes does to this day.
<br>
<br>
We're at the house now safely, thank God, and she's just doing the same stuff, my parents show up roughly 15 minutes later, and when I'm in their car everything feels so much better. Everything is so much more calmer, I knew we were gonna have a nice long talk about this, but that wasn't the matter at the moment. I felt so safe with them, and finally for the first time that night, I knew my girl was gonna be okay. I left everything I brought with me there, even my shoes, I just wanted to leave and be in the comfort of my parents. I gave my friend a hug cause he was shaking and rocking back and forth and kind of crying and said 'I love you bro' and left.
<br>
<br>
We made it home and my parents went inside cause my lady was being difficult and I couldn't get her out of the car and she was basically under control, just looping out loud still. It was so odd, I would tell her things about the real world and her pupils would shrink back to normal size, and for litterallly a split second, I knew my lovely girl was back, but then instantly bam, she was gone, pupils so large there was no color in them, just black from such dilated pupils. Those sights of her eyes have scarred me and I can still picture it crystal clear. It was the oddest/heart wretching thing to see her come back to reality fully, then a second later she was gone. I hated my self for getting us the acid, saying we should just take 8 a piece, I hated my self for everything that lead up to that. I got her inside and our dog even knew something was wrong with her, he was being extra sweet to her, giving her kisses and he even had a worried look on his face. We got her laid down in bed and she sat there in the same position for an hour or so, looping away.
<br>
<br>
Then another couple of hours she was finally able to fall asleep, but I was still worried so everynow and then I would listen to her breathing, feel her heart beat to make sure it wasn't to fast or to slow. I even woke her up sometimes when she would make noises asking her if she was okay. I kept saying, 'I'm so sorry for tonight', but she didn't understand why I was saying that and I told her, 'I'll tell you in the morning'. While she was asleep, kind of, I would go to our back porch and smoke cigs and just cry to my self. I was so torn up that I would let me and the love of my life get into that situation, I'm here to protect her and never let her get into sticky situations, never let her get hurt or anything, and I failed. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I would go to our back porch and smoke cigs and just cry to my self. I was so torn up that I would let me and the love of my life get into that situation, I'm here to protect her and never let her get into sticky situations, never let her get hurt or anything, and I failed.</div></div> I morally failed at doing that all night. It was the worst feeling ever looking back at that night, the worst empty, sickening feeling in my stomach I have felt to this day. I still feel that sometimes. The next morning when she woke up, she sat straight up and looked around super confused as to why we were back at our house, she didn't remember a thing. I explained to her what had happened and she could not believe it, but slowly some memories she had of that night slowly came back to her. Her side of the story is jaw dropping, she had a completely different experience then what had actually happened. Literally a completely different story than what I just told.
<br>
<br>
After this night, I swore to my self and her that I would never ever let us get into that kind of situation ever again. I made it my goal to look out for her if we were doing drugs, rather it just pot, alcohol, anything. I would never let her go through this again, because one time when she was looping out, she said 'I just want it to stop, make it stop please'. This stood out to me cause again in that moment, my girl was back, but was gone right after she said that. I knew she would come back enough to realize she was miserable, but just couldn't do anything about it. It literally broke my heart in so many ways.
<br>
<br>
<!--Basically, do not ever take a lot of acid, even if you think you can handle it. If you do, be smart and be sure to have a trip sitter, never trip with people who are all on acid. -->We will probably never tough acid again, due to the fear of this trip. It is engraved into our minds and memory. It will stick with us forever.
<br>
<br>
We are in a lot better place now. I'm in my dream college, passing it with flying colors, and she is in school for something she really enjoys. I'm so happy for us. We have so much good going for us, I know we're gonna have a great future, despite our interactions with drugs.
<br>
<br>
I will talk to her after work and see if she wants to include what was going on in her world for this report. If not, you guys will know.
<br>
Safe travels, comrades!
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
Hi I'm the little lady of the story you just read and now I'll tell you my side of everything:
<br>
<br>
My drug experience
<br>
Pot: use to love it then it became more of a struggle
<br>
Acid: both good and bad experiences
<br>
Xanax: I love it but it makes me stupid, though I do wish I could experiment more with it
<br>
Molly: absolutely amazing
<br>
Meth: best hyped feeling I've ever experienced
<br>
Extacy: second best feeling I love feeling more open while on x
<br>
Oxy: very mellow drug and helped me do my job a lot easier
<br>
Duster: it was fun but probably the most stupid drug I've done
<br>
Gas: not really that much to my experience so I'll give it a 1/10
<br>
Kratom: it's a good substance when yoou can't actually do drugs
<br>
Morphine: by far the best thing on this earth, it is the best thing I have experienced so far with any substance I've done.
<br>
<br>
<br>
How I refer to what happened that night was me being in my dream world. I'll be honest I have always been the kind of person to keep quite about my opinion if someone else wanted something different (this is a bad habit I don't suggest getting into) and that night I had a bad feeling about tripping that much and with someone else but I blew it off because I have the tendency to ovethink things and I figured it was just that. I still felt good enough about everything to think everything would be okay.
<br>
<br>
When I started feeling the effects from dropping acid,about 20 minutes later, I was feeling good but I suppose more retreated now that I look back on it. When we got back to the house after getting stogys I started feeling really odd and kind of not good, it was a lot of effort to stand so I sat at the table in the yard for a minute, when it seemed like something was really off I decided to go knock on the bathroom where my boyfriend was, I wanted to tell him there was something up but for one it seemed like too much effort to really talk and two I didn't want to seem like I was trying to bring the mood down so I said nothing. Another note is with a couple of the last trips before this one, I would get sick on the come up which started up randomly after a few times tripping so I thought it was something I was going to get over and start feeling better again.
<br>
<br>
The next thing I remember is walking through the woods and my boyfriend and his friend were walking ahead and I couldn't hear what they were saying, I felt a brief moment of loneliness and had a slight thought they were talking about about me which was just an irrelivent paranoid thought( this small moment has played a dramatic roll in me now even today which I will explain later on) but as we were walking that's when I saw the sharp cartoon grass explained in the first part of the story and that was the last visual I saw the whole night. I supposed I had begun blacking out between those periods because the next moment I experienced was we were in the room playing a game
<br>
<br>
Now bare with me this is where things get confusing. When we were playing the game I asked to play and in my dream world I thought I was doing good but my boyfriend kept saying I was gonna die which was confusing.. This was my first glimpse of reality when I was in my dream world. I feel like if someone would had told me to snap out of it right then and there I might have been okay because that was the last moment of the real world that I had before it got all distorted by my dream world. The next glimpse I remember was us walking down the stairs and me falling all the way down. The pain kind of brought me back to what was going on in reality but my mind was still morphing it into some dream of mine.
<br>
<br>
The next thing that happened that I can actually semi explain was when we were in the garage and both my boyfriend and his friend kept telling me to get mad over and over (this didn't actally happen in reality) I decided to yell and run over to the punching bag and hit it and then at another time me and my boyfriend were having a hitting match which in my dream world seemed normal and fun( its like those moments when you dream something completely odd but you think it's okay anyway until you wake up) I remember slapping my boyfriend in the face hard and he did it back and I felt a pain in my cheek that made my right eye water and for a second I thought that this wasn't normal but in an instant my dream state sucked me back in and made it seem like it was a playful thing that was okay. The thing about my dream state is everything in it seemed so dark but instead of letting me be afraid of it, it was convincing me it was good, and if anything negative happened it would almost shield me from it and I would be all happy again.
<br>
<br>
The next big event that happened was we were all in the car driving and I was completely in my dream world at this point. It was like I was hitting duster and blacking out which is a scary thought because I was already blacked out in a dream state but when I 'hit duster' I would completely black out and later on wake up, this happened multiple times and one time our friend, who in the real world WAS our friend, but in my dream state I thought was my boyfriend, kept smacking my cheek trying to wake me up from passing out( this never actually happened in reality and I never even actually passed out at all.) When I was 'conscious' and we were driving I would wake up to us stopping at the same stop sign, passing the same semi, and pulling up to the same store over and over. It would happen in the same order, I would wake up experience one thing, pass out experience the next, and then it would all repeat over and over. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">When I was 'conscious' and we were driving I would wake up to us stopping at the same stop sign, passing the same semi, and pulling up to the same store over and over. It would happen in the same order, I would wake up experience one thing, pass out experience the next, and then it would all repeat over and over.</div></div> As I came to find out the next day there never was a semi that passed us at all and the store I recalled we never pulled up to either.
<br>
<br>
I remember us driving and someone on Bluetooth talking to my boyfriend crying and saying ' she needs help' and so on which sounded to me as if we were trying to make an intervention for someone on drugs and during that moment it felt like me, our friend, and my boyfriend were all like brother and sister and the person on the phone was our mom who I imagined being a overweight person, little did I know it was my boyfriends mom on the phone talking and everything I heard her say didnt match up with what was actally said but they were discussing about me, (also his mom is not fat at all haha) As the night went on I would pass out and wake up to find one detail change than how it was before, the car would be a different color or the seats would be different. And I believe it was a transition from our friends car to my boyfriend's moms car. I would continue to do so until everything was transitioned completely. Every time I would wake I would see little patches of the real car and reality as it really was, but even though I could still basically see everything my mind was still converting it into a dream Some how.
<br>
<br>
Everything kind of seemed calmer after and I do remember pulling up to my mother in laws house and lying in bed. This whole time I just thought this was one big huge trip and I was just going along with it, it never crossed my mind anything wasn't was unusual from all the other times I tripped, the last visual I saw was the grass, everything else was just a dream. When I woke up the next day and realized we weren't still at our friends house and we were in fact at his mom's, everything was so confusing and I kept thinking about what all was real and what wasn't, turns out not much of what I actually experienced was real.
<br>
<br>
A big lesson I learned from that night is to never abuse Lucy because she will fuck my shit up.<!--Always respect a drug when you do anything and know how powerful it can be.--> From the first time taking acid it changed how I react to smoking pot. I will say that since that night, instead of smoking for comfort and joy, it's been a constant battle that has messed with me ever since. When I said to remember that brief moment of loneliness when I couldnt hear my boyfriend and friend talk, and how I thought they were talking about me, well every time I smoked pot after that, I could hardly hear what people were saying even if there right in front of me, and I constantly thought everyone is talking about me and even though it was a long time ago, acid is still affecting me through pot. One tiny little moment that happened that night, out of everything else, has stuck with me still. I am now incredibly paranoid which I use to not be and I hardly enjoy smoking any more, it's made my social life horrible and I still don't really know how to get over it. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I am now incredibly paranoid which I use to not be and I hardly enjoy smoking any more, it's made my social life horrible and I still don't really know how to get over it.</div></div> It's basically branded in my brain and if I would have known how strong acid can be even long after a trip, I would have been much more smarter with my choices.
<br>
<br>
Thank you guys for taking your time to read this. I know it is long, both of our experiences during this night, but there is no short version of this trip.
<br>
<br>
Again, Safe Travels, Commrades!<!--Moral of the story is be smart and use your trips for good, not just because you want to feel as fucked up as you can because you might not like how high lucy can take you.--><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2016</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111135</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 17</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 5, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,694</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111135&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111135&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Post Trip Problems (8), Second Hand Report (42), Relationships (44), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gel tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
2 amber lsd geltabs ingested sublingually at 10pm.
<br>
<br>
--
<br>
<br>
Time lost its meaning years ago. Years?
<br>
<br>
'Picture yourself in a boat on a river...'
<br>
<br>
I grip the twin-sized boat-mattress for life support. Questioning reality, and the existence of an infinitely small number, I ponder my sanity. What makes it possible for me to make it possible to take this substance, and why is it possible? I questioned psychedelics as a whole - what do I get out of them, besides beginning to question the very constructs of my own brain? Lacking proper judgement at the time, I felt as if my brain was becoming bankrupt over and over again for questions it didn't have answers to. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I felt as if my brain was becoming bankrupt over and over again for questions it didn't have answers to.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
At around 2:30am, I connected with my cat in an incredible way. As if the process of the tracking mechanism in a jet's missile launching system was in reverse, he absolutely freaked out to say the least. Hopping around the patterns on the floor, it was obvious I had affected this creature using my mind and body language.
<br>
<br>
I realize how much friendship plays a crucial roll in how I maintain a day to day life - simple things like a chat conversation affect me in so many subtle ways that must built up in some way. It becomes apparent to me music taste is heavily influenced on one's personal tempo. As far as hallucinations go, I visually witnessed the question of whether God exists in my desk, and it's impossible for me to answer with logical thinking. However, do I really think all of this is possible because of chance?
<br>
<br>
My room's center table retracts its legs and begins to float into the air. The Capri Sun's drink art of a beach part turned into an alien acid drinking bath. Cars outside sound like space ships launching at hyperspeed. My speakers fill with color, flowing like a DDR step chart with 50 feet in multiple ways. My icons on my desktop float, as if bobbing on top of the water. It becomes absolutely obvious how the Beatles were influenced by psychedelics. The album art of Revolver shows just how much these guys were directly influenced by this type of thinking. As I listen to several Beatles songs (Strawberry Fields Forever, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, Taxman, etc.), the pictures I am staring at literally come to life. Focus shifts in the photographs - I can see and feel the wind pushing elements of the trees in pictures. Top-down, aerial photographs of the Earth warp into 8-bit style pieces of art. I find it particularly amusing how I can transform pictures at will into cartoons / 8-bit creations. One extremely memorable hallucination was watching a picture of the coast of California turn into top-down Starcraft-style spaceships engaging in war, while transporting troops on a dynamic playing field.
<br>
<br>
Memorable thoughts:
<br>
<br>
- does M.C. Escher's art make it more trippy for you when you're tripping? 'Hawww tripppayyyy is attttt?!'
<br>
- fixed size, variable depth. (the world's questions and answers.)
<br>
- lsd makes me question important ideas like, lsd, reality. what defines me from you? my chemical reactions from yours?
<br>
- is reality unreal? only in an unreal reality. :)
<br>
- we need more gauges! more gauges for deceleration and acceleration!
<br>
<br>
Throughout my trip, a key piece of artwork popped up often. An extremely psychedelic piece of artwork, a side-piece to my room, cycled through millions of colors. Seeing black and white was simply a matter of perception. This art felt as if it was a living piece of emotion, a snapshot of the artist's feeling and life at the time of the creation. It was up to me to interpret this in a personal way, and I feel it followed the general trip mentality of big-shark little-shark.
<br>
<br>
Big-shark little-shark, you might ask? It's impossible to explain, but perhaps you've experienced it before. I'll rest on that thought. Until next time?
<br>
<br>
- bickoma<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2007</td><td width="90">ExpID: 65500</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 6, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,022</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=65500&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=65500&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Unknown Context (20)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gel tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
A Recollection - - Communion
<br>
<br>
I am finishing up my time at college, and will soon be embarking to the east--to explore the world that was shown to me on the night of my very first trip, and the strongest most pleasure Communion I have ever experienced.
<br>
<br>
I want to preface this with the fact that like many other Psychonauts, I began as an atheist. My childhood was damaging, abusive, and painful - - and the remnants of that had followed me in a cold shadow all the way into college. It had gotten me in trouble with substance abuse--alcohol, benzos and the like. I felt very disconnected-- a sack of potatoes in the pitched shipping container of life. There was no divine spark.
<br>
<br>
That all changed in my sophomore year. I'm studying in the SF Bay Area, and so exotic substances are much easier to come by. On my campus, there were multiple resources to hook you up with any drug imaginable. I had always been interested in psychedelics, and when the opportunity presented itself, I purchased a high-dose gel tab (250 mcgs) and awaited The Call.
<br>
<br>
It came on a lonely saturday-- my school is a commuter campus and dies on weekends. Surrounded by the forests, in the waning days of summer, there was no better time. I ate a late lunch, knowing I probably wouldn't be eating till night, and dropped the gel at the tail end. It was around 5:25.
<br>
<br>
I went up to a local smokers spot on campus in a forest-flanked meadow to chill with a few friends. We smoked some weed/tobacco mix (colloquially known in Cali as 'mokes'), I told them I had dropped, and we waited patiently for the effects to kick in.
<br>
<br>
0:25:
<br>
After a few bowls, the high had initially outweighed any detection of psychedelic activity. However the now-familiar feeling of anxious belly-flipping began, and I noticed a strange slanting in my thoughts. I had always been an intense person, with a sort of mental tunnel-vision, but almost like coming out of the Cave, my mind began to really look into the world as a whole. It was almost sunset, and the sky took on the familiar pastel color of the late-day sun. As I looked up into it, I saw an infinite array of subtle dots floating between the clouds-- almost the way it looks when you close your eyes and the dots swim in your mind. I hadn't realized I was staring for so long, one of my friends asked,
<br>
<br>
'What do you think?' <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">'What do you think?'</div></div>
<br>
<br>
0:45
<br>
<br>
The effects had truly begun. Surrounding me was a forest of trees with wooden fingers, reaching into the soil. In their branches, I saw the complex of the human lung. I heard the rusting of the branches as an intense symphony of breathing sounds. They began to move in flowering tessalations to the rhythm of the wind.
<br>
<br>
'they are a sea of giant silent lungs!' I laughed, staring deep into them.
<br>
<br>
I heard the rocks, I heard the trees. My mind suddenly began a sort of Recollection-- a gathering of knowledge, slotting it into a grand scheme like a great cosmic puzzle. The passing of the seasons unfurled in my minds eye, and the trees loved and died and rebirthed endlessly as silent guardians of their time.
<br>
<br>
The mountains shimmered with dead grass and I heard something whispering in them, indecipherable for now.
<br>
<br>
I began laughing uncontrollably, my mind whisking from possibility to possibility, leapfrogging across the disciplines with a grand unfolding. I saw the rocks, the trees, the clouds, my friends-- all of us created in particular-- but by what?
<br>
<br>
1:05
<br>
<br>
My mind was now completly submerged in the waters. The sun was beginning to set, and the sky was painted with the most spectacular hues of scarlet and gold. The clouds-- in this strange almost purplish Grey-- roamed as pilgrims above us, twisting and dancing towards the east where the colors shifted into vivid teal and lavender of the earth's shadow. In this moment, my first internal Speakings began.
<br>
<br>
I asked,
<br>
<br>
'where are they going?'
<br>
<br>
And a little part of me, but not me at all replied,
<br>
<br>
'they are returning.'
<br>
<br>
Confused, I was now immersed-- and my friends had noticed. They asked me questions, but I could not reply very much outside. I ended up repeating astonished 'woahs' on an endless fractal loop.
<br>
<br>
1:30
<br>
<br>
All the while, my mind was synthethizing my entire life's knowledge. Everything intrinsically connected, and I saw the world as an infinite complex of things. Spirits? Souls? The womb of some cosmic Creature?
<br>
<br>
I began recieving variations of visions-- the first of which was a huge universe string. It was breadthless, all-colored, and vibrating as an atom. It glowed with a light I can only describe as heavenly, and I knew immediately that this was an image of the spirit. I attempted to touch it, and it was cool in my mind. Inside I could faintly locate galaxies, spinning like bubbles in a glass. On either side of its endless length was a vast, reddish emptiness.
<br>
<br>
I closed my eyes-- I study linguistics, and the characters and letters of multiple languages began to morph into each other, in flashes of rose pink and aqua blue-- I traveled through a maze of Japanese, runic characters, English into German, French, Dutch, Cyrillic-- as the story of Tower Babel was demonstrated. I spent alot of time in this state, taking in the Western Tradition in psychonautic context. It was beautiful, and at multiple times tears welled in my eyes as I truly rediscovered childish beauty.
<br>
<br>
My studies of history, English, geology and the like were politely arranged in a coherent narrative that has become the foundation of my personal philosophy and spiritual development since. It was a moment of intense clarity, and one that I still look fondly back upon.
<br>
<br>
2:00
<br>
<br>
Now there was a significant tonal shift--I Called it the Slump.
<br>
<br>
I returned rather sudden to the real world. A new group of strangers had entered the meadow, and started to smoke with my friends. They were alien to me and caused great discomfort. They did not like the fact that I was tripping, and I was forced to exit the ethereal realm and attempt to converse with them. They asked me what I saw, and feelings of righteous anger welled within me. It was difficult to speak, so eventually the strangers let me be and began to talk with my friends. I listened to them talking, and I took on an almost psychic quality.
<br>
<br>
I could hear their inner souls. They spoke out loud, but it was as if I could hear through their words to their core.
<br>
<br>
They were like men at a masquerade, hiding behind skinny masks. Inside, I could tell they were immensely uncomfortable. Partly because of me, partly because of themselves. Like Holden Caulfield, they echoed phony language and basic culture-- nothing transcendent as I had just experienced.
<br>
<br>
I feel bad about it looking back, but I was immensely self-righteous and totally in mastery of others thoughts. I could hear their insecurities, their fears, their wants and dreams-- and none of them had to say a word. I was attuned momentarily to the psychic world-- I have never repeated this experience in all the trips I have had since. (After the trip I had relayed my observations of the strangers' lives to my friends. They told me I was about 80% accurate in my observations).
<br>
<br>
2:20
<br>
<br>
I became increasingly uncomfortable as the strangers remained and the sun finally set. The sky had lost its mystic beauty as night beset us. I decided it was time to go, as I could feel the peak beginning and knew this was not the place to enjoy it fully.
<br>
<br>
I bid my friends farewell and set off on a solitary walk around campus. It was almost silent, and at once I felt more at peace. The nighttime looked steeped and saturated with color-- midnight blue and navel orange was everywhere, and I listened to Op. 95 'From The New World' on my headphones, trying to recreate the majesty of earlier. The moon rose from the east, above the mountains, and I was at once called by an interior force. The moon had an aurora around it, shimmering rainbow and silver. Like the Pharos of Alexandria, it guided me from both within and without. At this moment, my first true Speakings with what I can only describe as The Cosmic Voice began.
<br>
<br>
2:30
<br>
<br>
I was peaking, and sought to personify this in the physical plane as much as the mental. I ran without aversion through the bare forests on the side of the hills that flanked our campus, up to the top where an observatory sat. I made it, breathless, and finally alone. The valley stretched out before me, and I could see fields of lights in. All directions. I felt like a blood cell in a giant body of earth.
<br>
<br>
At this point my memory becomes fuzzy, as the peak and the array of feelings I was experiencing overwhelmed my memory.
<br>
<br>
I saw the stars, and they seemed closer than ever before. They twinkled in rainbows, and I could almost see in the twilight atmosphere where our world ended and space began. Suddenly a voice appeared in my mind and began asking me questions. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Suddenly a voice appeared in my mind and began asking me questions.</div></div> It was reassuring at first-- 'How are you feeling?' 'Are you happy now?' 'Have you found something new?'
<br>
<br>
We talked, sometimes inside and sometimes aloud, for a while. At first I accepted it as me talking to myself, but over time I realized that this part of myself was totally intrinsic, did not share in my ego-- and almost completely omniscient. It would answer my questions as I asked, and never hesitated.
<br>
<br>
I do not remember everything I asked, only a few choice questions and answers, and these are paraphrasings rather than the actual conversation, which has been almost completely erased from memory.
<br>
<br>
I asked,
<br>
'What are you?'
<br>
<br>
It replied, 'I am you so you can know.'
<br>
<br>
I asked,
<br>
<br>
'why me? Why my pain?'
<br>
<br>
It answered,
<br>
<br>
'so you can know this place in all ways.'
<br>
<br>
'Are you God?'
<br>
<br>
'I am as you want me.'
<br>
<br>
'What are you doing this for?'
<br>
<br>
'I had to.'
<br>
<br>
'why?'
<br>
<br>
'Else I would not exist.'
<br>
<br>
I felt a strange unease. It was instilling me with a concept. I closed my eyes and saw a flash of pure chaos, the thing chasing my god, the almost cosmic war between order and pure obliteration. It was a blackened gorge of blood red and green that devoured everything and sought to envelop my God, holding the universe within itself as a clam holds a pearl. I saw it for an instant, but began to literally weep in pain and fear.
<br>
<br>
'I did not want to show you the things you do not know.'
<br>
<br>
'but why can't you tell everybody? Return everybody?'
<br>
<br>
'that I do not know.'
<br>
(this was bullshit and I knew it, and The Voice knew I knew it. It was quite funny at times, in some ironic way.)
<br>
<br>
'What am I here to do? I want to speak about you'
<br>
<br>
'There is someplace for you to be. There is someone for you to see.'
<br>
<br>
This I did not understand, and began to argue with the Voice. It expertly disarmed me every time, echoing my words off the hillsides and teasing my lack of knowledge. I didn't take offense-- I laughed, because I knew I was speaking to my true teacher. It felt like a mother, a father, a pet and a master at all the same time--but it was within me, channeling through my mind from the outside, from the abstract, communicating telepathically through the modulations of my brain.
<br>
<br>
'Give to yourself the gift you have been given. I cannot give that to you in this way.'
<br>
<br>
'I am the things, and they serve in their way. I cannot, anything more than that.'
<br>
<br>
'you were spared from another. Make yourself in that way.'
<br>
<br>
I laughed, cried, danced and yelled at this Voice-- as over time it became quieter and quieter, until it integrated back into my ego and disappeared.
<br>
<br>
3:30
<br>
<br>
At this point the peak had ended, the fractals were over, and I was tired. I made my way down the hill, glittering with leftover euphoria from being utterly convinced of the spirit and of my god. I was a soul again, and this cured my depression and set me on a path for knowing my god more. I met with one of my friends, and gave him a hug. I told him that when we laugh with each other, it's because we are both hearing God in the same way. He said God didn't exist, and this made me sad. I knew what he meant, but it made me sad anyways.
<br>
<br>
I went back to my room, where I rested, contemplated, as my brain began to scrub the knowledge I had been given. Eventually I fell asleep after taking some Nyquil, and awoke with an awakened spirit and new eyes.
<br>
<br>
Conclusion--
<br>
<br>
This was a profoundly spiritual experience. It cured my depression and atheism, and put me on the path to becoming a Psychonaut. Since then I have had many other trips-- some with visions of the Voice, others when I encountered the Chaos. But my entire world was rocked by this trip, and I will never forget it. I hope to break through further with other psychs, such as DMT and Ayahuasca.
<br>
<br>
I'm not afraid of death in the same way anymore. It'll be the ultimate leap-- a moment of gut-wrenching fear, then ultimate peace as my information is reintegrated into the universe and restored into the womb of the Cosmic Voice. I want people to hear my god and find their own, as it expresses itself through all souls in different ways. I truly believe this God is all Gods, and speaks in all Poetics and order equally. It has made me intensely reverent of the world, and of the fractals of the Voice that inhabit it.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 112437</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 12, 2018</td><td>Views: 827</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=112437&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=112437&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Various (28), Nature / Outdoors (23), Mystical Experiences (9), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/1p-lsd/">1P-LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">55 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Starts of by taking it at 17:45, or T: 0:00, in a pleasant cemetery with a zen like pond where me and my friend dissolve the tabs. The city had this light drizzle in the air which made everything look a little bit hazy in a cozy way. We were going to trip at my friend's friend's apartment while he was out for the night. It was only the living room we were going to spend our time, on the couch with a TV and premade youtube lists of videos. Both us had never done anything beyond weak LSA trips before, but were eager to do something real. We were excited and in a happy mood.
<br>
<br>
T: 0:45 The lacquered floor started flowing and showing faces, the body's sensory was starting to change. Limbs were short and tall. We had put on some experimental jazz which sounded fun as well as weird, tooting trumpets and awkward rhythms from what I'm usually accustomed to.
<br>
<br>
T: 1:20 Visuals were wildly flowing from the TV in to the objects around, like the cupboard which the TV stood on. Trails were moving almost inhaled between the cabinets edges. Real nice. We had become real happy and laughed at many things, mainly that we were actually tripping.
<br>
<br>
T: 2:30-4:30 (This part is the most clouded and unique.) I had entered another realm in which the room was detached from reality, like space was just outside the window, only that the deadly vacuum here was a fear of being spotted by neighbours. The room mainly consisted of four straight corners, like a painting with wet colors flowing everywhere and black space behind. Apart from the visual senses the others, like touch primarily, began to be delayed after the visuals. I wanted to listen to my lists I had merrily put together but was unable to think properly to even find the jacket. But when I finally managed to connect the phone and headphones, a strange fear of isolating myself from my friend appeared <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">a strange fear of isolating myself from my friend appeared</div></div>, because we were tripping so dangerously hard now. I could sense a fear sometimes when my friend started to almost shake with sickly eyes at me, so I tried to calm myself down to keep us from panicking. Like a some sort of M.A.D. situation. Things were starting to loop and then nothing.
<br>
<br>
T: 5:00 I entered my body and remembered absolutely nothing, I was almost assured that we were aliens as I tried to ask my friend if we were. He did not understand jack shit. It was like entering a skin, a costume for work, totally artificial.
<br>
<br>
T: 6:00 Slowly concepts like knowledge, language came back. Somewhat visualized like bars from a RPG with more and more information coming back. I began to associate things like Plato and Aristoteles with MBTI personalities, among other lesser known things as of now. Reality was like a puzzle I had only vague concepts of things I should avoid to do and do. Family members, school and life in general (how you were a real human bean) were pulsating back and forth into consciousness. At multiple times I tried to question my friend if we were tripping, what we should do, but even if he answered something almost coherent I forgot fast again. I was beginning to think we were stuck in a loop in this particular room, and outside was danger. Remembering the concepts of Philip K. Dick's paranoid fiction it felt like we had come into a similar place (Ubik!).
<br>
<br>
T: 6:30 We had to get to our bus, as we both could not stay over and we lived in another town. But I had absolutely no clue what to do, I was unable to pack or even grasp that we had to go soon as it among most things looped around. It became frustrating, no getting what to do, thankfully we did not panic only worried slightly. Time went and we forgot it behind. My friend was most upset of us at this situation. We decided to pack and go to another place that was safe but we still could not stay there for too long. While packing I constantly missed to, pack, but after a while we were both ready and left off. The night was pleasant, few people but plenty of cars. Streetlamps glowed in an atmospheric yellow halo. Eventually we got to the place and I started to actually understand what it meant to be human again and what we were doing. Visuals were still strong, like when one looked on the floor carpet that seemed to wave and carry my friend, who lay prone on the floor, away like millions of ants.
<br>
<br>
T: 7:00 The bus was soon going and we had a good amount of time to get to the station, but we could not chance as our time perception was real bad. Strolling down the streets we understood that people were partying and drinking on the streets with loud music coming from some small concert. Neither of us had ever seen this night life before, I was impressed. But the closer we got to the station, the more people we met who were drunk. Some tried to talk with us but we could barely say anything. As we got to the station and walked up to the buses we saw that it was filled with security guards and I motioned my body to walk casually away from them. It seemed to me that they were going to ID-check me and look into my eyes with flashlights, so my heart rate began raising. Luckily we got away, but we argued a bit on how to proceed because we had to get home tonight but we could not get near the only bus going home. Shit seemed to be real fucked. I did not want to get charged with this something like this while tripping now, for the first time. Paranoia started coming. I recalled that there was a stop a bit away so that we could escape the guards safely, and so we did. The bus was filled with drunks playing music loudly. Driving home I felt real sick and the visual were still strong and made the surroundings surreal. The way we drove on looked like the sea and we that we were on ship, going up and down on the asphalt waves.
<br>
<br>
T: 8:00 Finally home I wanted to sleep. The bed felt prolonged, like every move I did extended a bit more. Like stretching out a leg it went out longer than usual. With closed eyes I tried to sleep but visuals, the visuals! Several times I wanted to just wake my parents and tell them what I had done and to take me to the hospital, but something deep within said that if I only bruted my way through a couple of hours then it would be all over. Some one or two hours later I was sleeping.
<br>
<br>
The morning after I met my friend to discuss what we had just done. Both of us thought it was way too much for a first time and without a trip sitter who was sober or experienced, especially the duration was something neither of us had believed to keep on for so long. I thought it only would be active for 4-5 hours, of course was I wrong this time.
<br>
<br>
It was definitely something I would like to do again, but with a bit more control and a safer place so that we did not have to worry about someone coming.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 112461</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 21, 2018</td><td>Views: 770</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=112461&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=112461&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 cig.</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">11 st</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<span class="erowid-warning">[Erowid Note:
The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]</span>
<br>
<br>
First off let me start by saying that I was not in the correct frame of mind for this experience, although I managed to enjoy the hell I percieved that night.<!--I would not advise this dosage to anyone let alone triptonauts. Theres just too much of a risk factor involved.-->
<br>
<br>
It was two days before halloween and I had read thouroughly into hallucinogenics before deciding what it was that I wanted to spice up my halloween party with.
<br>
<br>
The night started when I had taken two tabs of what I believe to be LSD-25, and after being mugged of forty pound I recieved a phone call of a close mate who was eager to test the potentcy of the drugs we had just recieved. I had a further 13 tabs in my pocket at this point. On the way up to his house and after being lost for an hour walking up and down the same damn road and making numerous phone calls I finally managed to catch up with him.
<br>
<br>
At his house we took two tabs each and waited for the effects to kick in. Being the impatient mug I am I decided to take 4 more and to my suprise nothing happened. Waiting a further two hours still nothing happened. Getting frustrated I took a further two and supplied my mate with another 3. At this point nothing out of the ordinary was happening at all, so I decided to go outside for a cigarette. As I was smoking it I looked up at the door infront of me and a kaleidoscope of colours streamed through the window, all the colours of the spectrum. I thought my mate was playing a trick on me to wind me up. In my mind the tabs were duds and he had aquired a disco light. Then all of a sudden the door started petruding, falling back and melting. The glass bowed and distorted forming patterns as it did it. I thought to myself what the f**k have I just done, I've taken ten tabs of some really dodgey stuff. A third scared, a third curious and a third excited I proceeded to tell my mate that I was tripping my balls off. I looked at him and in a flash he turned into the devil then in another flash into dracula. Then back to normality. I thought it was so damn cool lol. We looked at the tv, previously playing a racing game and set on pause the tv began to reveal crypted information. We both saw a skull with a cowboy hat, a monkey smoking a joint and a turtle moving about the bottom of the screen and lots of trees swaying about. This really started to excite us as it was just so bizzare, I've had mass hallucinations before but nothing that similar. Its almost as if our minds were on the same wavelength and we were transmitting our thoughts into eachother. I focused on the screen and eyes proceeded to fly out of it, then a white light filled my vision and then disapated. The trip had started.
<br>
<br>
Now exact times are hard to remember and there were so many events happenign this night that I will try and put them in order of time. But to me the time is fairly irrelevant, what matters is what we saw and what we percieved.
<br>
<br>
We left the house as I wanted to go to the local woods to find a cure for cancer and kill some demons as I had heard that shamans used the underworld as a means of finding cures for diseases. I looked back at my mate whos name I later found out translates into prince (what the anti christ shall be called) and his head was a pyramid and he had one huge eye at the top of the it. His long hair curled out into fractals and so did the edge of my vision. At this point I was so crazy that it all seemed very mundane. I looked up and saw the moon which seemed an infinite distance away with tunnel of clouds surrounding me and leading all the way towards it, spiraling and swilring around. Its very hard to describe as it was so intense. It was literally the best thing I have ever witnessed in my life. My mate with one eye and an unaturally huge smile said maybe if you do more than three tabs you are crazy, this just made me laugh so much. I stopped as we were walking as a tree caught my eye. The branches morphed and moved gathering together, they formed a face. I looked behind the face and it split up, I proceeded to do this a few times then grew tired of it so I stared at the face and as I did this hundreds of eyes spewed out of its own. My mate called me and we continued. At this point my hair felt like it had tentacles reaching out into space and my head was exploding and projecting my imagination into the sky, it was comprised of spirals. It was a very wierd feeling.
<br>
<br>
Throughout the night I kept feeling satan licking the top of my brain witha sand paper toungue.
<br>
<br>
Arriving at the woods I looked down at the floor which was now the sky, brambles sprouted forth and I took care to balance on the brambles not falling through into the sky. I looked up and saw a flower in a spot light, but brambles grew and got in the way. I cut through the brambles with my hands, picked up the flower. In an attempt to find the demons I cut through the trees infront of me. Disintergrating them with my hands and the flower. I'm not fully aware if they were there or not but I presume they werent as how would I chop them down with a flower. Oh well not too much of this makes sense anyway. I finally came in contact with the demons then. They had dark eyes and big grins with sharp teeth. There were three of them at this point and they grew bigger and bigger, I was going to kill them, but they drew power from my fear and would have overwhelmed me if it was not formy mater turning me around. He was pranging at this point and rightly so. We were two teenagers in a wood on acid at 4 in the morning. As we walked through the wood we looked down and to our amazement felt something out of the ordinary beneeth us, and looking down we realised the actuality of the fact we were currently balancing on dead bodies floating in a giant river of blood! We edged along it holding onto eachother carefull not to fall in. My mate said ' (my name) are these dead bodies in a river of blood' I reasurred him about this. We couldnt believe that we both just experienced this. We found a park and decided to have a walk and try and suss out what on earth had just happened. There were now thousands of demons but they cud only stay in the shadows and the moonlight meant this was a very constricting factor indeed. I was very lucky as otherwise I would have been swarmed completely and probably would not have been here to even tell the story as I now what happens to people that recieve trauma on acid. They are left in a paralell world forever. And seeing as this wasnt the prettiest state of mind in the world I probably would have killed myself fairly shortly after. After assessing the situation we decided to walk back to my mates house.
<br>
<br>
On the walk back there were big demons in the sky throwing lightening bolts down the the earth and when I mean big I mean giant like 400 metres tall. It was the coolest thing I've ever seen ever, hands down. They kept shifting their stance moving about and twisting. I started coming down a bit at this point and could vaguely make out people in the distance although they were covered in a shrowd of movement, colours and general distortion. We saw a woman in her house and stared at her which must have freaked her out as it was like 5 in the morning and we were out of our faces. But she was virtually unregnisable and impossible to define.
<br>
<br>
When we got back to my mates house he still had one huge eye and all the photos of him as a child in the house had one eye. It wasnt like I focused on them and they morphed. It was instant. I could not get my head round this at all. He decided it was time for sleep and went to bed. I went for a shit and realised I was still a pathetic human, I looked in the mirror and my skin began to melt, all over, I looked at my hands and they did the same. I tried to get to sleep and did manage eventually although I do not know how. As I was distracted completely by this shape on the wall like triangles but longer and more curved, three of them with thousands of eyes coming out of it. There was nothing on the wall but everytime I looked at it there was this thing doing shit. It started to freak me out. I smacked my head against the wall and as I looked accross it there was a street with lamps that were lit up stretching out into infinity with no horizon in sight. I put my head under the cover and lights flashed up every where it was like a miny city underneath the cover. I looked out this door that was left open and it was very tempting to go outside. My major regret of the night was not going outside because who knows what would have been waiting for me out there. But then again that could have been my downfall aswell. It will just be one of lifes misteries you know. Like why does order come from chaos.
<br>
<br>
Anyway the next day I missed uni as my head wasnt intact at all. In the morning the tv still had the skull and all that breeze although my mate couldn't see it anymore, and all the photos still had one eye. I sat on a park bench and a butterfly flew around me three times. It landed becide me and its wings folded up then started distorting and crunching into different shapes. It looked so real. I actually thought it was real. The grass around me formed patterns that were completely obvious. I returned to my flat and all the posters on my wall were distoring and growing lumps out of their heads so I ripped them off the wall. Peoples heads were distoring all that day, I was worried it would stay like that forever and I prayed to god to cure me. The only remnants of the trip after that day lasted about two months were ever time I grew paranoid and I was with some they grew a giant smile and their eyes turned black, oh and things looked like they were moving when they werent. I also had some crazy closed eye visuals for a while aswell. Thank you for listening as this is a good outlet for what I experienced. If this gets posted I might put up some of my other experinces and id be interested to see if anyone can make any sense of it.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2007</td><td width="90">ExpID: 74814</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 31, 2018</td><td>Views: 800</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=74814&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=74814&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Nature / Outdoors (23), Hangover / Days After (46), HPPD / Lasting Visuals (40), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1.5 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
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</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
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</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I had done acid maybe 4 or 5 times prior to this trip, as well as dabbled in a few other psychedelics (psilocybin mushrooms, salvia, DXM, etc), so I had an idea of what to expect, though I'm certainly no expert.
<br>
<br>
I had 3 hits of paper sitting in my closet for a good long while, being saved for a time when I felt I could put them to the best use. One such occasion presented itself, and I went to the Florida Everglades (massive nature preserve, for those who are unfamiliar) with a friend of mine, on a particularly hot day in August. In preparation, I packed a backpack with 1 gallon of drinking water, a couple dry towels, clean socks, and a large can of insect repellent. I definitely should have packed more water because we finished all of it about 2 hours after we got there. We never used the spare socks, shirts, or towels (just precautionary supplies), but the bug spray proved invaluable.
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<br>
We decided to split the strip of 3 hits down the middle, and each take 1.5. As such I was expecting a fairly mild trip, but the hits were much stronger than I anticipated and the experience ended up being intensely vivid.
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<br>
We each took our hits at about 1:30 pm (sublingually), about 10 minutes before we arrived at the park. We began by venturing down one of the paths into the dense thicket of trees. I first noticed feeling a bit nervous and jittery (I hadn't tripped in a while) when we arrived at a fork in the path. We arbitrarily chose one and continued down it. Effects were more pronounced now (about 2:30 pm), I could clearly hear the water jostling around in my backpack with each step I took, which made me uneasy. The repetitive noise annoyed me, but I quickly forgot about it once I started to see trails behind the flying mosquitoes. We persisted, not really taking notice of how far we were really walking. The trees and bushes were starting to come alive, as if there was wind blowing through the leaves, despite the fact that I knew there was no breeze. As I looked at the ground, lizards and grasshoppers started showing their faces, running rampantly out of the way as the giant intruders clumsily marched through. My poor balance was worsened by the rough terrain, but after hiking for 30 minutes or so I adjusted. I stopped to examine a giant, orange grasshopper and stared closely for at least 10 minutes. It was glowing this shade of neon orange that seemed completely novel to me. We turned back after reaching a dead end. We emerged from the thicket covered in mosquito bites and completely drenched in sweat, which must have made us look even more bizarre than we felt. The drain of losing blood, marching in the hot sun, probably breathing in fumes from the bug spray on my arms, and the onset of the acid made us crave for a break.
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<br>
We walked over to a shaded bench to rest, feeling relieved to cool off and sit for a while. Now I could really feel the acid kicking in (about 3:30 pm). The ground was crawling and writhing, and my entire body felt like it was vibrating with electricity. Birds walking around looked much larger than I thought they should be, and I felt a curious confusion.
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<br>
After a brief rest, we headed towards the boardwalks overlooking the swamps. There were quite a few other visitors bopping around, and they all looked and sounded so foreign to me, which at first I attributed to the drug's effects. After trying desperately to analyze someone's speech, I realized he was speaking French, and so was everybody else around us. This threw us into an intense state of hilarious confusion, and we could not stop laughing (loudly), making a mild spectacle of ourselves. Later I reasoned that a lot of tourists from French Canada probably come to the Everglades during the summer, but it made for an amusing twist at the time. We regained our composure and began hearing really foreign sounding animal noises as we approached the swamp. The only way I could describe it is to say that it sounded like a swamp ape, or some such mythical beast. The mention of the swamp ape sent us into another fit of hysterical laughter, which recurred every time it bellowed its primal grunts. The harder we tried to stifle our own laughter, the more uncontrollable it became. Acid has never made me giggly in the past, but I wasn't complaining, it was quite euphoric.
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Once we got close to the swamp, we spotted a group of alligators, and I stared deeply into the eyes of one of these alien-looking reptiles until it swam away. The water was so clear, and although gators typically strike me as unpleasant looking, they appeared so beautiful at the time. Any irrational fear that I would normally have of being that close to one vanished, and all I could do was stare in amazement into its big black eyes. The gators seemed to pick up on it, and gravitated towards us during most of the trip. I should mention that we were safely separated from the swamp below, being suspended on the railed boardwalk about a foot above the gators.
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<br>
By about 4:00 pm, we found a scenic spot to stare at the vastness of the swamp and delve introspectively into our individual experiences. The reflection of the sky glistening on the surface of the water looked like millions of sparkling blue diamonds, so bright that I had to squint to look at it. More positivity as I stood calmly existing, allowing myself to appreciate the beauty of the natural landscape. I took a second to look around me, I noticed about 10 other park visitors near us, trying to find what we were looking at. I guess my friend and I were both staring at the water for a long time, because they mistook us for keen observers of nature, when in fact we were staring at things they couldn't see (and likely never would). I nudged my friend to point out what was going on, and once again uncontrollable bursts of laughter flowed from us. The French tourists must have thought we were awfully strange; thankfully none of them felt alarmed, just shrugged us off as crazy Americans.
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<br>
In another area, we see a gator jump into the water and swim towards us at high speed. It seemed alarming at first, but once it got close we saw something wrong with its leg. Once it was close enough we saw that its leg was in fact missing, and a bone was jutting out where the leg should have been. It was a little shocking initially, but the gator seemed just fine, swimming gracefully. It made me think of how a gator can sustain such a massive injury and continue living its life. No complaining, no self-pity, no medical treatment or moral support, just straight instinct and survival. I couldn't escape this thought, and I noticed that I was silently arguing with myself about the pros and cons of living in a structured civilization, as most humans do.
<br>
<br>
Starting to lose my grasp on reality now (about 5:00 pm), I see tourists in the distance imitating apes. I begin to lose my ability to tell the difference between the animals we observe and the humans observing them, as they seemed like such spectacles themselves. Overwhelmed and stuck in a loop with this uncomfortable feeling, I sat and concentrated on my visual experience nearby, watching the planks of wood unfold into vivid medieval battle scenes. I'm not really sure what prompted that type of visual, but I was grateful for the distraction it offered.
<br>
<br>
At around 6:00 pm, we decided it was a good time to smoke the joint we had brought, and the weed added a pleasant lift to the otherwise dreary mood I was feeling.
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<br>
After a couple hours of continued exploration, we started to come down. The sun was setting at about 8:30 pm, and we headed out just as the mosquitoes came out in full force and devoured what was left of our flesh. It felt oddly refreshing. We got in the car, cranked up the air conditioning, put on some electronic-ish music, and drove out in our vessel of modern technology. The stark contrast was amusing, and was emphasized when I (accidentally) drove through a spider web on the way out. I jokingly said 'Fuck you, nature,' and we laughed once again.
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<br>
We arrived back at my friend's house and sat on the porch discussing everything that happened. It was the most complete trip I've ever had. Despite being fatigued and covered in bites (not to mention smelling like shit) I felt refreshed from using my mind and body for 8 hours or so, drawing in so much experience and putting out so much energy. Also, I don't think I've ever laughed that hard and that frequently in any 8-hour period, which added to the pleasant afterglow.
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<br>
As I said, I've tripped a few times before. My previous experiences allowed me to (barely) keep myself composed despite being so overstimulated. Point is, tripping in public, especially in the afternoon, is tricky and potentially dangerous, so I'm glad I waited to do it until I had<!--wouldn't try it without--> a fair amount of prior experience.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2009</td><td width="90">ExpID: 89144</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 23</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 1, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,082</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=89144&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=89144&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Nature / Outdoors (23), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Unknown</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">125 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
The substance(s) in this report is not properly identified. Although the report is included in the collection, the substance might be something other than the author believed it to be.]</span>
<br>
<br>
My boyfriend and I wanted to candy-flip so we planned a vibe circle and invited a bunch of friends over to my apartment to trip with us. It was about 8 pm on a Wednesday, and this was my sixth time taking LSD and second time candy-flipping. Ironically, six is my lucky number.
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<br>
He and I dropped roughly two hits each of this really good LSD via blotter paper and a point each of MDMA mixed in water. We had taken this LSD before and tripped face last time, so we were prepared for an awesome night. We were mostly right… our first mistake: since we got the “LSD” from a trusted friend we skipped testing it. We found out later, after testing what was left, it was actually 2C-T-7 because the friend had mixed up his blotters. I’m still unsure of how much I took, but we figured out it had to be over 13 milligrams because I nearly overdosed and was frying until that Saturday.
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<br>
After we dropped, things felt pretty fine. I came up at about the same intensity I normally do, nothing was terribly out of the ordinary aside from all my sense of time being completely gone rather than just hindered. We passed a bong around at some point and I think I took about two small rips.
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<br>
As I was coming up to my peak something felt strange, and I got really sick very fast. I went to vomit and figured it was probably just the molly making my stomach upset, because that often happens to me if I don’t take my points in thirds. A little while after that I was sitting on the couch and slowly it felt like my head was splitting open. I hit my peak when I felt immeasurable pain, then my vision went black, I locked up into the fetal position on the couch, and screamed at the top of my lungs. My boyfriend slapped me to knock me out of it, said something about being calm, and that’s when the universe flipped upside-down and turned inside out. Well, MY universe did… it all unraveled right in front of my eyes. I saw my whole life laid out in front of me, in one giant fractal. There was an overwhelming sense of déjà vu there. Every emotion I’ve ever felt washed over me, and I kept fluctuating between extreme pain to fear to intense pleasure to joy.
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<br>
It felt like my body was being taken apart cell by cell, piece by piece—every layer of the universe was being peeled away. I couldn’t think, I could barely breathe; I was dying and coming back to life over and over again. I could feel my cells rolling together and tearing apart, and I was watching the fractal twisting itself in and out of oblivion. The universe turned into a flipbook, and my consciousness was in the middle of it all. There was no god, but there was god, but I was god, but I wasn’t god… It’s like I comprehended infinity. It was beautiful, and while I was terrified it all made perfect sense. I’d seen it before, it seems, over many lifetimes or over many eons. I was watching the golden ratio in effect, and I had reached nirvana.
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<br>
It was in this kaleidoscope world where I figured out why we see fractals when we trip, so I tried desperately to communicate but just couldn’t. This was infuriating because I’m a writer so I knew if I tried hard enough I could explain what I was seeing. Alas, words eluded me! I kept getting frustrated, to the point where I was crying, that I couldn’t describe my trip. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Alas, words eluded me! I kept getting frustrated, to the point where I was crying, that I couldn’t describe my trip.</div></div> Yet, at the same time, I was telepathically communicating with all the people in the room what was happening and they all understood me. They all knew what was going on, they were all there getting the universe torn apart with me, though to a lesser extent. In the back of my mind I kept hearing one of my friends saying “It’s a dream. Wake up.”
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<br>
My boyfriend has had much more experience with hallucinogens than I have, 2Cs especially, so he was my spirit guide the entire night. I kept looking into his eyes and finding another edge of the universe in them. He was the only thing that kept me tied to reality, and if I got too “far away” he would bite my hand or kiss me to bring me back. The universe told me I’d met my soul mate. It made me exuberantly overjoyed: I kept kissing him, telling him how much I love him, how perfect he is, how he completes me, how I’m so happy I found him on the other side of the universe, and then ask if I could keep him forever. Then sometimes I felt an overwhelming sense of fear that I was dying, would start sobbing, then cling to him and cry “Please don’t go! I just found you! I don’t want to live without you! I don’t want to die!” I was afraid if I fell asleep I’d die, or my boyfriend may not be there if I woke up. It was horrifying, but my boyfriend guided me through it to the best of his ability and was able to pacify me during my mini panic attacks.
<br>
<br>
A term my friend coined for tripping way too hard is “zooted”, so one of the things I kept saying was “I’m zooted! Zooted, zoooooted, zoooooooted, zoootedzootedzooted!!” One of our favorite things to do whilst tripping is watch The Wachowski sibling’s “Speed Racer”. I loved the show as a child, and for some reason during my trip I would randomly sing “Go Speed Racer, goooo~!” In fact, I hallucinated that I was Speed Racer multiple times, and then I decided that the movie itself is also a giant fractal. Watch that movie and tell me I’m wrong. Seriously. It’s a visual masterpiece. On that one, one of the reasons why I figured out my boyfriend is my soulmate is because he’s the only other person I know who adores the movie as much as I do. Romantic stuff, huh?
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After that, I wouldn’t stop speaking in binary (for lack of better term) as if we were living in The Matrix and I was directly translating the code. At this point I’d pretty much convinced myself that the Wachowski siblings invented the universe.
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I kept seeing/hearing/saying something along the lines of “You’ve seen this before, and it’s the greatest love story that’s ever been told. The universe is just a bunch of tripping kids. Don’t be afraid. You’ve been here before. Everything’s going to be okay.” My déjà vu was driving me crazy, and I used google multiple times on my phone to look up what I saw, swearing I’d seen it once when I was idly browsing the internet.
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<br>
I couldn’t stop twisting and writhing where I sat or laid; when I stood I’d turn in circles and grab the air as if I could touch the fractals swimming in my vision. I kept making weird noises, meowing, saying I was a cat, crying like an infant, moaning, groaning. I kept hallucinating I was seeing though other people’s vision, then snapping back into my reality. There were many times where I felt like I wasn’t at all in control, and what I was doing was just the universe settling back into place. I was afraid I’d actually hit the peak of my life when I peaked on this trip and that I’d be stuck moving like that forever. There was a point where I was offered a dab to calm down, which I happily took hoping for it to counteract my zootedness.
<br>
<br>
The next morning, I was still tripping way too hard, so my now-sober boyfriend took me to the hospital to make sure I would be okay. On our way to the car I cried out and proclaimed my water broke, to which my boyfriend assured me I wasn’t pregnant. When we got to the hospital and I got into the bed, I started hallucinating that I was giving birth. They gave me an antipsychotic (I was too far gone to remember the exact drug they gave me) and over time the universe was slowly catching back up to me. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I started hallucinating that I was giving birth. They gave me an antipsychotic (I was too far gone to remember the exact drug they gave me) and over time the universe was slowly catching back up to me.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
Laying in the bed, I started turning over less and less as my exhausted brain urged me to sleep. I thought I was going to die if I let myself fall asleep; a small part of me was content with death, but the rest of me demanded I live. My boyfriend was sitting on my left, my roommate was sitting on my right, and a dear friend from high school who came to visit was standing at the foot of my bed. I told them something to the effect of “Thank you all so much for being with me. I love you all. You’re the greatest friends I could ever ask for. Thank you for sharing the universe with me. Thank you for being part of my universe. I can’t wait to experience this all again with you. I can’t wait to do this over and over and over again.”
<br>
<br>
When I was released Thursday night, I could still see fractals, but this time they were tracers that I was creating. When we got back to my apartment my boyfriend and I cozied up on the couch and I asked him to put on “Speed Racer”. As I was watching the movie, in the back of my mind I was the next 30 years go by, but the details were not clear enough for me to remember any of it. I saw a side-shot of either Speed Racer or Racer X, and that’s when the universe finally settled and I fell asleep. The visuals were gone the next day but up until around Saturday evening I still felt zooted, and things felt like they were repeating themselves. Déjà vu? A glitch in the Matrix? Who knows? My boyfriend took really good care of me, and so did all my friends, which made the experience a lot easier. We also theorized that the MDMA could have helped with the positive side of the ordeal and keeping me tied to reality.
<br>
<br>
It took me a while for my brain to feel settled and for so long I’d forgotten the details of what happened. It was strange though: a few weeks later, the more I smoked weed the more bits and pieces came together in my memory. Just the other day we lit up a bowl and that’s when I remembered exactly what happened. I was so frightened but also amazed. Once more I tried to describe what I saw, but still no words came. Was I alone in this insanity? I turned to my greatest ally: the interwebs! I quickly came to find that I was far from alone. <!--On Erowid’s Experience Vaults -->I found so many more accounts similar to mine about the universe splitting apart on psychedelics. Even the dude who invented LSD saw what I saw! It was this way I was finally able to put into words what I saw and felt. <!--
<br/>
<br/>
*** Other accounts that summarize my journey almost perfectly:
<br/>
“I was taken to another world, another place, another time. My body seemed to be without sensation, lifeless, strange. Was I dying? Was this the transition? At times I believed myself to be outside my body, and then perceived clearly, as an outside observer, the complete tragedy of my situation.” (Albert Hofman, 1943)
<br/>
<br/>
“I felt the most intense feeling of déjà vu as all sense of self died. I had been here before! Now why the fuck would I ever return? The idea of taking this drug recreationally seemed as naïve, foolish, and immature as anything you could ever imagine. It was like hell, honestly, in the sense that you could have never imagined something so horrifying and evil that it really is ineffable, it’s purely impossible to explain - but you’re there, and you’re definitely experiencing it. There is nothing in this dimension to relate it to. Quite literally, there are no words to explain what I felt other then complete and utter despair and fear. Reality just broke apart and I was left in this fractal void. I couldn’t speak, I couldn’t feel any part of my body, ideas broke down to the point where I couldn’t think for myself, the images I was seeing were more intense then I could even register, so much so that the entire experience was sort of like sensory overload overdriven to the max. I guess my eyes were open and I was just sitting there with a stupid look on my face, but I was in a completely different dimension.” (Goodbye Reality, Goodbye Universe - Salvia divinorum by Hubert Cumberdale)
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<br/>
“To me the entire universe was in a state of metamorphoses; its true nature was beginning to unfold. Everything began to slam together into one cosmic entity whose synthesis had been perfectly calculated eons ago. I had discovered the formula that began this change; I was the catalyst. The phrase ‘solving the world upside down’ continually passed through my brain.” (Turned Inside-Out - Mescaline & LSD by Ivanankuvinich)
<br/>
<br/>
“Earth is part of what makes up one individual being. But the thing is that person could be us… or the person next to us, it doesn’t matter because it is all part of the fractal pattern, and we as humans are able to transcend it and be anywhere we want if we stop focusing on the single solitary reflection of just one individual being. We are a part of everything and everything is a part of us, if you enable perception to perceive it that way. Everyone’s constantly seeking pleasure, what else do the majority of people live for in this world apart from a rather limited seeking of happiness? I saw my life going through my future as it hit the loops and I would be reborn only to experience the same thing again, or infinitely different each time which could eventually cycle through to the same thing without me realizing. I was everywhere at once, and no where at the same time. Meanwhile there were strong sensations of my body evolving into loads of different creatures or dimensions.” (It All Makes Too Much Sense - LSD by Baker)
<br/>
*** -->
<br>
<br>
I figured out what I meant when I said “The universe is just a bunch of tripping kids”: it’s like us psychonauts help the universe move in the golden ratio, or maybe we just bear witness to it every time we trip. Maybe the universe is just helping us rationalize when we hit the peak of a fractal and have to turn over. I’m not sure if I can explain why, but I just know why we see fractals when we trip. Even now I’m not sure how to describe it. The fractals are always there because they’re the seams of the universe, but when we trip we can see them, I guess? I also wondered, when we “peak”, do we literally hit the peak of a fractal then spiral back downwards?
<br>
<br>
A lot of the people who saw what I saw have sworn off hallucinogens (or drugs in general). Will I? For a long time I was very afraid to trip again. Seeing the universe begin and end all at once was overwhelming… <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">For a long time I was very afraid to trip again. Seeing the universe begin and end all at once was overwhelming…</div></div> but after some reflection and figuring out what happened, I’m more open to it, ESPECIALLY considering what I took was 2C-T-7, not LSD, and the amount I took almost killed me. That in mind, I feel like I can take on a regular trip just fine and I even welcome the notion.
<br>
<br>
I keep having mixed feelings about the experience: some days it terrifies me to think about, and other days I’m stoked that it happened. Did I experience ego death? I’m not entirely sure. Hopefully I won’t form any kind of psychosis over the event, which is my only fear. Talking about it helps a lot, which is why I decided to share my story. Right now, I just want to know what happened to me scientifically rather than spiritually. What did I see? Why did I see it? What process of that brain makes this so? Most of my answers came from information about the golden ratio and fractals. More research is in order, and I feel like I wont have any more answers unless I trip again. To zoot or not to zoot? That is the question!<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2015</td><td width="90">ExpID: 105686</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 5, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,809</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=105686&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=105686&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), MDMA (3) : Small Group (2-9) (17), What Was in That? (26), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">165 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I was always interested in the the effects of LSD and mushrooms long before I was ever involved in drug use myself, mostly because I knew it had inspired some of my favorite musicians, authors, and other figures I admired. I was experienced with marijuana, having been smoking for the better part of a year and had been actively looking for shrooms for close to two months at the time but the connections kept falling through. When my friends told me they had an acid hookup who was good I bought three hits, one for me and two of my friends who I will call C and J, with a kind of nervous excitement.
<br>
<br>
My friend C ended up taking his hit a few days before J and I, and I spent the day with him to see how he reacted. His trip seemed very mental, though just from smoking weed with him on a regular basis I knew he often ended up in his head while I tend to be enthralled by how things look and sound and was expecting a very different trip than the one he had.
<br>
<br>
J and I took our hits at approximately 4:30 in the afternoon a few days later in our dorm. I noted the blotter paper had a vaguely metallic taste. I kept the paper on my tongue for about 20 minutes until it dissolved and I swallowed it. After swallowing our paper J and I went downstairs where he smoked a cigarette (I don't smoke) and then we went into the store and each bought a bottle of orange juice to sip on while we waited for the effects to set in.
<br>
<br>
Back in our dorm we were starting to feel the onset of the acid. I had butterflies in my stomach and was feeling very excited, though I can't say for sure if this was the effect of the drug or just my natural excitement about what was about to happen.
<br>
To occupy our minds for a while J put on “Wasp/ Behind the Wall of Sleep/ Bassically/ N.I.B.” by Black Sabbath with the Classic iTunes visualizer on. I'm not sure at what point during the almost ten minute song I actually began tripping, but when it finished and I pulled my eyes away from the screen the effects of the acid were definitely hitting me. The outline of my hand specifically seemed to undulate, like it was breathing.
<br>
<br>
<span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. <a href="/chemicals/show_image.php?i=dmt/dmt_contraindications1.gif">Don't do it!</a>]</span>
<br>
<br>
It was at this point that J and I gave C a call to drive us around and smoke some weed as we had planned. He took us out and we drove around our usual burn routes and the three of us smoked two bowls I believe. The music playing in the car was all encompassing. I was trying hard to keep up in C who was quite talkative (as he tends to be when high) but the sensory experience was too powerful and I really didn't hear much of what he had to say from the back seat. As we were driving I watched the clouds which had some of the most interesting visuals of the entire trip, the clouds seemed to bloom outwards into starburst shapes in time with the music we were listening to. We parked beside a river which we had planned on going to watch but J vetoed the idea in favor of sitting in the car and listening to music. I was fine with that idea at the time, enjoying the view of the bushes outside (the branches of which were waving around in a very lifelike manner) though in retrospect I wish we had gone out to enjoy the river. Inside the confines of the car I started to get sucked into my mind and grew somewhat silent.
<br>
It's hard to explain, but it was as though my mind split into two halves, one that was caught in a standard stream-of-consciousness and one that was watching the other half critically. The second, critical half kept questioning if I was tripping (as the visual effect of the drug was quite different than I had anticipated) despite the fact that I obviously was. Every now and then I was struck by an epiphany, that the only reason my mind was acting strange was because of the drug and then I would be happy to watch the world for a while, but then I would sink back into the uncomfortable mind patterns. A change of scenery probably would have done me good to keep my mind occupied, but in the end J and I went back up to our dorm thinking that the familiarity of our dorm was what we really wanted.
<br>
<br>
In the dorm I laid down on my bed while J chose music. The acid was making me feel completely strange by this point, though it isn't anything I can really put my finger on. Everything simply seemed completely alien to me on a fundamental level <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">The acid was making me feel completely strange by this point, though it isn't anything I can really put my finger on. Everything simply seemed completely alien to me on a fundamental level</div></div>, I remember even my blanket felt strange. J put on the Klaxons, a band that I wasn't familiar with at all, which added to the alien nature of the world around me immensely.
<br>
<br>
There is a period of time here that I lost. I don't know how to explain it except in contrast to how I felt when I snapped out of it: When I sat up what felt like an eternity after laying down on my bed (though it was probably not very long at all) it was as though I suddenly remembered who I was and where I was, and yes, I had in fact taken acid earlier. The period of time in which I was laying down was one without thought, not even comprehending everything that I was seeing, hearing, and feeling. The one solid memory I have of the experience was the poster beside my bed, a Klaxons poster to match the music. The poster is set up like a collage and all the pieces of it were moving around each other in a fluid and slightly disorienting manner.
<br>
<br>
After snapping out of my trance if you will I was quite worried about the road the acid was taking me down. I was aware that the trip I was having was not what I really wanted to have but just the fact that I knew I wanted to have a better trip seemed to calm me down. What I really wanted was something normal to grab on to instead of the strangeness I had been going through and thinking about my trip as just the effects of a drug was a good start to grounding myself in reality. J had also been having a mental trip and was for us finding a change of scenery. My depth perception was all messed up as we walked down the hallway to the elevator, it almost seemed like the floor was slanted.
<br>
<br>
Outside, J called another friend of ours, B, who invited us to his room to play a round of Nazi Zombies. I got myself under control in B's room while he and J played videogames but still had an anxious, nervous undercurrent to everything I did. After a few minutes we had to leave B so he could study so J and I stepped outside and I called a friend of mine, M, who was a very experienced tripper. I told M I was on acid and he immediately asked if everything was beautiful and perfect. I told him it was more strange than I had expected, almost too disjointed from reality and he helped to talk me down. Just hearing his voice practically lifted the anxious feeling from my trip and made me feel comfortable again. He told me some websites to go to and by the end of our conversation I felt like I had risen above the trip and it was no longer in control.
<br>
<br>
After talking with M I was feeling tons better, but J was still floundering with the drug so he and I decided to go on a walk around the campus. Being outside felt much better and we found a good spot to sit on campus underneath a sort of bridge that connected two halves of a building. We probably sat for an hour or more, sometimes silently sometimes talking. Outside I finally returned to some visual effects of the trip; the bricks in the wall across from me seemed to be moving, every other row seemed to be scrolling to the left or to the right. I talked about how I underestimated the acid, how it was completely different than I had anticipated. He said that he too wasn't having a “normal” trip but had been spending most of the time thinking about his life, school, and other concerns that he had been having. We decided that while we weren't having a normal trip it was still positive in the end. It had put things in a new perspective for both of us. Sitting outside there calmed us both down and put us in a sort of self-cleansing state of mind. The total experience had left me emotionally exhausted, the way I feel after a heavy cry and something I hadn't felt in a long time.
<br>
<br>
By this point it was after 10:00 pm (it was the first time I really became aware of time) and me and J decided to go to his friend A's house. I was feeling down from the acid by this point (though still slightly disjointed from reality, like after a weed comedown) so I drove us to A's place where he and his girlfriend had been drinking wine. The four of us all drank a bunch of wine, smoked a lot of weed, and watched Across the Universe. The movie, alcohol, and marijuana all combined to bring back the tripping state of mind (though with virtually no visual effects) and left me feeling very comfortable, much more so than I had felt at any other part of the night.
<br>
<br>
In the end, it was a good experience in that it taught me how to trip. If I could go back I would probably do it slightly differently but I'm glad I had the experience. I wish I had understood the drug more before I took it so that I could have prepared myself more fully <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I wish I had understood the drug more before I took it so that I could have prepared myself more fully</div></div> but I feel that now my next time will be much more positive throughout. More than anything this trip made me respect LSD more than I did. As J said to me: “People think that acid is just like a cool light show or something, but really it can put you in your place.” It was, ironically, quite a sobering experience.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2010</td><td width="90">ExpID: 85095</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 19</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 12, 2018</td><td>Views: 906</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=85095&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=85095&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Guides / Sitters (39), Music Discussion (22), Bad Trips (6), First Times (2), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">inhaled</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/nitrous/">Nitrous Oxide</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gas)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">210 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I would say that I am a fairly experienced psychedelic experimenter. As a rule, I try to experience these chemical compounds with as much of an open mind as possible. One night a few years ago I had a friend fill up a 15 pound tank of nitrous oxide. It happed to be that I had plenty of L.S.D. and decided that I would combine the two and see what would transpire.
<br>
<br>
I was alone this evening. Early on, within about 20 minutes, I could tell this would be one of those trips that make me really enjoy and makes me marvel at the psychedelic experience. I had a very large custom bed and I laid at an incline on it all night. Throughout the evening I was consuming very large, 25-30 inch balloons every 10-15 minutes. I have a large lung capacity and a knack for holding my breath underwater for a long time so I was getting a great deal of gas in my system during the experience. Generally, in these types of trips I find myself floating at about 20-30 miles above the earth. When I keep the gas coming into my system I stay floating in this unusual realm. When I have to fill up a balloon it’s like I’m reaching down through the atmosphere to do so. I wouldn’t say that this feeling is exactly like being an astronaut it’s more like my subconscious and conscious mind are both meeting in that approximate location.
<br>
<br>
I’m not sure why, but I almost always find myself in near outer space. Sometimes, my mind leaves the earth’s gravitational pull and sometimes it skips along the earth’s surface. This night, I was having a much more intense experience then others (I suspect partially because I had fasted for a couple of days before I ingested the L.S.D.). Whatever the case, the visual experience was much stronger than I had ever seen before. I would hover around the sun, head off into deep space, and walk on moons of other planets. I didn’t have to close my eyes or focus on anything to have these hallucinations. Once the Nitrous Oxide was saturated in my bloodstream the visions took over and I wouldn’t even see the room I was in at the time.
<br>
<br>
So I'm guessing about 90 or so minutes into the experiment I had that magical trip, that one that leaves you bauling your eyes out, you’re crying tears of joy and a left with profound appreciation and understanding of the universe. Basically, after a very deep and long inhale of a balloon and then another I reached what one might call “nirvana”. Essentially, my subconscious mind traveled up this stream of blue light at what I could only describe as light speed or warp speed or 200,000 miles a second. Insanely fast. Only it wasn’t a stream of blue light. The light beam wasn’t a beam at all it was a crystal matrix that was true crystalline in form, the crystals were of symbols and patterns. When I reached the inner core to this white-blue light (lets say it took a half second) I could sense this crystalline code stretched out for hundreds, maybe thousands of miles in all directions. The crazy thing was. All of this code made complete sense. In any direction I focused, all of the code lined up and solved itself. In an instant 500,000 foreign characters simultaneously made complete sense. I don’t know how it did. But believe me it did.
<br>
<br>
I know this sounds crazy but I felt that I had seen the back end code to the entire universe and not only seen it but was temporarily given the brainpower to comprehend and appreciate it. This was by far not my typical L.S.D. experience. I did not just see things. I guess I would say that I temporarily understood some crazy complex alien or cosmic code. I count my blessings often that I was able to have that experience. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I count my blessings often that I was able to have that experience.</div></div> After this experience I don’t fear death or the future for that matter. It forced me to realize that there is so much more beyond our existence. Something incredible is out there, or inside of ourselves.
<br>
<br>
Within about 12-16 seconds I came back from that experience floating again above the earth. My L.S.D. experience had just turned from an 8 to an 8000 in a few seconds and then back again. Those who have had similar experiences know what I am talking about. Those who think that all drugs are bad and evil shouldn’t knock what they don’t understand. I don’t want this to come off corny but I do believe in some form of God. I don’t put stock in what most organized religions say to believe in. But I do believe that there has to be some sort of higher power. I am not God. But this experience truly felt like I got to read God’s diary for about 15 seconds. I didn’t retain any of the cheat codes, or figure out how to win the lottery or anything like that. But there was one thing that did come back with me, that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, is the most powerful force in the Universe.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2008</td><td width="90">ExpID: 87417</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 35</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 7, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,971</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=87417&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=87417&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Nitrous Oxide (40), LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Mystical Experiences (9), Combinations (3), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/ketamine/">Ketamine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 7:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Beer/Wine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 7:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">21 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/smarts/melatonin/">Melatonin</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 9:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">6 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/smarts/melatonin/">Melatonin</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">170 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Compounds/drugs dosed:
<br>
Ketamine HCL, Insufflated, dosing frequently throughout the day. I consumed about 1.2-1.5 grams throughout the day.
<br>
Cannabis, smoked, repeated.
<br>
LSD[blotter], sublingual, .5 hits, then 1 hit.
<br>
<br>
Subject: 19 year old male, 170 pounds.
<br>
Occupation: Student, Artist, Musician.
<br>
<br>
Background:
<br>
I’ve been taking psychedelics for years and love them almost as much as they intrigue me. I normally prefer the shorter acting compounds. List of psychedelics I’ve taken follows: Psilocybe Mushrooms, DMT, DPT [<a href="http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=79766">http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=79766</a>43], 5-meo-dmt, 4-aco-dmt, 2c-b, 2c-c, 2c-e, 2c-I, 2c-t-2, San Pedro Cactus Tea [1 threshold dose], LSD [less than 10 times], LSA, Salvia divinorum, Cannabis/Hashish, DXM, Ketamine, mda, mdma, bk-mdma, 4-mmc. I was dependant upon oxycodone for 6 months [well over a year ago], and was taking prescribed stimulants for ADHD in my mid teen years.
<br>
<br>
Set: Mid October. My friend’s house…which is a rented mansion filled with a bunch of my close friends.
<br>
Mindset: Less than perfect…I’d been arguing with my girlfriend earlier in the day and had been doing ketamine most of the day. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I’d been arguing with my girlfriend earlier in the day and had been doing ketamine most of the day.</div></div> I bought a new bong [I don’t smoke much weed, and since I was also on ketamine the effects of both were amplified]. So I was stoned/k’d to the point of hallucinating in the early afternoon.
<br>
<br>
10:45pm:
<br>
Had been doing ketamine most of the day, split a blotter with my friend...she had tripped the night before, and was a bit more enthusiastic than I was.
<br>
<br>
11:45:
<br>
Starting to trip a little, but it's mild...someone told me that he thinks the acid might of degraded a bit [everybody else said it was REALLY good still]. I do a bit more ket with some friends and listen to close to the edge.
<br>
<br>
12:15:
<br>
My friend runs off and does her own thing for a while and a bunch of my other friends are on a candy flip [Lsd+mdma], and most of us were doing ketamine as well. I decided a half wasn't enough [it really was though] so I buy another...no one wants to split it with me, so I eat the whole thing [fffuuuccckkk].
<br>
<br>
1:00:
<br>
I do some more K, kick it with my friends, and realize I'm having the fucking time of my life. It's been something like 2 years since I've taken a full dose of lsd, and I'm loving it..this is when things start to get hazy...
<br>
<br>
2:18:
<br>
Weird time line...most of the time lsd comes on all the way for me within an hour or so, but I'm finally starting to actually peak. My visuals are mild blowing. Patterns in everything. Intense fractals. I start to get a bit wound up because I'm coming down off of the K, so I do some more. As I go into the bathroom, I realize that I am FUCKING GONE. I feel like the whole experience is a dmt vision and I could come out of it any minute. I talk to my girlfriend [we had been arguing earlier] and she's not too happy about all of the k I've been doing lately, so she's pretty pissed about the fact that I decided to drop acid on a whim.
<br>
<br>
~3:00:
<br>
I talk to my friend and she is FUCKING GONE off of half a hit. My other friend [he does a lot of acid and had already dosed like 3 times that day and is on about hour 16] and he tells me that on 2 of these blotters he felt like he tripped harder than on 6 a week earlier.. I think it's weird. Another friend [he's on one] told me that he is out of his mind. This acid just gets you 'there' we all thought...no matter how much you take.. I still can't believe I took 1.5...
<br>
<br>
We come to the general consensus that this acid may have been laid on blotter improperly, because some hits feel like 70 mics, and some feel more like 250. I love don caballero...the music is my fucking savior.
<br>
<br>
~4:00:
<br>
I'm still GONE.. I feel like I'm still coming up.. I don't like the long duration of lsd 'I'm sticking to short acting tryptamines and the shorter acting 2c-x's from now on..'. We watch nightmare before Christmas and smoke some weed. I am dissolving into fractals...I’m starting to slip away into obscurity.
<br>
<br>
I look in the mirror; extreme pupil dilation. See the same acrobats in the thin strip of my iris.. I feel that doing some more k might help level out the acid [.. I know, right?].
<br>
<br>
~5:00:
<br>
...shit hits the fan...I'm WAY too high, and my friend [he was rolling and on a lot of K] thought I had come down, and made a 'haha, you're perma-fried joke'.. I start to think I'm never coming down, but tell myself I’ll be fine. I am under the impression that as soon as the sun came up I would be sober.
<br>
<br>
I’m freaking out.. I make my girlfriend drive over [she's the fucking best], we hang out for a while, and I have her go home with me...she’s pissed off that she has to come save me.
<br>
<br>
5:45:
<br>
Laying in bed, I drank a bottle of wine, and pop seven 3mg melatonin.. I put on the Simpson’s movie [I needed something mindless] and I’m still absolutely gone...I’m stuck in a loop. I feel like I’m experiencing my own death and rebirth every 30 seconds or so...EVERYTHING is dissolving and reconstituting. I’m horrified because the tv is spitting out nothing but gibberish...I’m seeing in frames...
<br>
<br>
The movie ends and I’m able to put on Half baked.. I pop 2 more melatonin...still stuck..
<br>
<br>
I woke up at 12:00 the next morning, still having mild visuals, Smiling ear to ear. I feel like the phoenix...what an intense trip. I still feel like I shouldn’t have survived something that intense, but I did. I talk to my friends, and tell them that it was intense, and that I love them all for being there for me. I truly feel that this was a ++++ experience, and both a blessing and curse. It put a lot of personal matters in perspective.
<br>
<br>
I felt altered throughout the next day, and upon typing up the outline of events [2 days later] I still don't quite feel normal...shorter attention span than normal. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">[2 days later] I still don't quite feel normal...shorter attention span than normal.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
After thoughts:
<br>
I was later told that the doses that I had taken were from the “washout” corner [the sheet is dipped in liquid lsd, and drained…this corner was the corner that was on the bottom, and these doses were [apparently] much more powerful].
<br>
<br>
I had been tripping frequently all summer [though hadn’t taken a full dose of lsd in about a year]. I felt strong after effects for a few days, and didn’t feel “normal” again for another week or so.
<br>
<br>
<!--My main reason for posting this report is that the erowid ketamine vault it says something -->About ketamine not synergizing with psychedelics like lsd… this is QUITE FRANKLY NOT THE CASE. This is a very powerful combination that I personally wasn’t ready for. Others have tried it with lower doses of ketamine and loved it. If I could have changed anything, I would have waited until after eating the lsd to start taking ketamine. I would at least have both feet on the ground before I ate the lsd.
<br>
<br>
After this trip, I decided it would be best for me to lay off of Psychedelics for a while. Since then I’ve tripped once [a low dose of 2c-c] in late December, and had a wonderful, positive experience.
<br>
<br>
Be careful with this combo.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2009</td><td width="90">ExpID: 83030</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 19</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 10, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,182</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=83030&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=83030&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Ketamine (31), LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">50 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis - Hash</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(edible / food)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">145 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
“Puke with sparkles”
<br>
<br>
This was definitely what they call a Learning Experience.
<br>
<br>
I have been curious for a little while now about the combination of LSD and edible hash. My experiences with each alone over the past year have been excellent, so what could be better than a synergy of two good things? But things don’t always go as intended.
<br>
<br>
The plan was to trip in the bedroom in darkness which would be a new experience for me (my previous experiences had been outdoors in daylight). I took one tab of road-tested LSD plus some home-made chocolate containing about 1/20th of a gram of Moroccan soft dark brown hash. It may not sound like much but I have also road-tested this hash and it is potent stuff. From experience I knew that this amount of hash would be enough for a three-hour medium high.
<br>
<br>
T zero was 2300 hours. This was to be a night-time journey.
<br>
<br>
The good
<br>
<br>
I had always thought that CEVs were the poor relation of OEV: something one gets with low quality / low dose acid that isn’t potent enough to generate “proper” visuals. Well now I know better. Once things got going at about T+2, I lay on the bed with my eyes closed and the room darkened. The result was spectacular. I cannot recall the detail but I saw a multitude of glittering colours and a sense of intense hyper-realism. It was as though I had borrowed the visual cortex of an eagle. The resolution, detail and chromacity (if there is such a word) of the visual impressions was quite remarkable. Equally remarkable was the sense that this was not just an illusion but that I was actually seeing - just without the need to use my eyes. I had no desire to open my eyes. Nothing in my rather dull bedroom was going to compare with this. To add to the effect, I had a sense of intense surround-sound hearing even without any music or other sounds. It was not that I was hearing things that were not there. It was more that the tiny whispers of sound in an otherwise quiet room became symphonic in depth and intensity. This was an experience in the nature of psychedelic perception and raised for me some fascinating philosophical questions as to the nature of “real” perception and how the mind creates sensory impressions. Yes of course it was all just chemicals, but that is hardly an explanation, merely a restatement of the question.
<br>
<br>
The bad
<br>
<br>
That evening I had had an excellent supper of roasted cauliflower and potato followed by some fine gruyere cheese with cucumber, topped off with fruit yoghurt. For some reason, though, when I ate the hash chocolate the cannabis flavour left a nasty aftertaste. Too strong and too hashy. Like a combination of burnt coffee and too much chocolate.
<br>
<br>
About two hours into the trip, things started to take a bad turn. My mind began racing in a way that was not pleasant and hard to control. I began to feel claustrophobic. Opening the windows did not really help. I tried playing music but that didn’t help either.
<br>
<br>
Soon I began to feel actively unwell (I may have felt unwell earlier and just not acknowledged it – but now it was inescapable). The sensation grew into one of actual nausea. I stumbled into the bathroom. Shortly afterwards (maybe T + 2.5), the puking began. And what puking. At least three, maybe more, bouts of deep stomach emptying vomits spaced over what seemed like hours. The acid was in full flow so whilst I was racked by nausea and bouts of vomiting, I was still seeing gorgeous multi-coloured sparkles. What a waste.
<br>
<br>
This was not an Ayahuasca style cleansing purge. This was more like tripping with norovirus. Eventually at about 5am (T+6) I stumbled back into bed with the trip subsiding and managed to get to sleep. I woke at about 8.30am (T+9.5) feeling weak and tired but otherwise more or less back to normal.
<br>
<br>
Conclusion
<br>
<br>
It is hard to know exactly what caused this to go bad after such a promising start but the obvious culprit is the combination of a full stomach and the addition of the hash. Once previously in Amsterdam I smoked too much cannabis and ended up puking my guts out. This time the amount of hash was not an issue (I have taken the same amount from the same batch quite a few times with no gastric issues whatever) but I think my body just cannot tolerate LSD and hash on a heavy stomach. With hindsight the nasty aftertaste from the hash chocolate was a clear warning.
<br>
<br>
Also, I get the feeling that the hash put my mind into overdrive which is a problem when confined to a small room at night with no prospect of sleep for many hours and nowhere to go. <pullquote>There were a few moments when I genuinely thought to myself “what the fuck is the point of this? Never again”.
<br>
<br>
Fortunately the human mind is very good at blocking out the bad and focusing on the good.</pullquote> This was not a bad LSD trip in the traditional sense. The pure LSD element was stunningly beautiful. But the simple lesson is that if I don’t feel physically well then no trip is going to be enjoyable. There is no pleasure to be had in recreational puking, even if the puke comes with sparkles.
<br>
<br>
Lessons
<br>
:
<br>
1. LSD with eyes closed/darkness is beautiful. <!--Do try it.-->
<br>
<br>
2. Empty stomach not full stomach.
<br>
<br>
3. Don’t mix acid and hash at the outset. Acid first. Then maybe top up with hash only after a few hours and once the trip is well-established and going nicely.
<br>
<br>
4. Outside not inside. Choose a warm day in a safe secure natural environment where there is space to move around.
<br>
<br>
Peace and good tripping
<br>
<br>
H<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 112687</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 50</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 17, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,600</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=112687&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=112687&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Cannabis - Hash (93) : Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">130 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I was 16 years old at the time of this trip. My friend, let's call her Q, was my trip sitter, although she helped none at all, really. Her brother just sort of gave me a tab of acid. Although many believe it is an idiotic decision to take psychedelics at such a young age, I have been very interested in psychedelics for the past few years. I regularly smoke marijuana, along with occasionally getting drunk. So I figured since I have a bit of experience with an altered state of mind, I should have faith in my ability to handle myself on LSD. Now, this was about a month ago, but I still remember the events that took place.
<br>
<br>
Q was trying to pressure me out of taking the tab for a week prior. She had recently stopped using marijuana and made it an oath to stop being interested in drugs all together. But once I assured her I'm taking it, she agreed to be my sitter, a position which I suggested in case I needed someone to emotionally help me, or maybe even take me to a hospital if shit hit the fan.
<br>
<br>
The day came, I woke up at 5:30am. I was aware of how long the drug lasts, and wanted to have an all-day experience where I felt everything from the come up to the come down. However I never really felt myself sober--which I'll get into later.
<br>
<br>
I placed the tab under my tongue. Me and Q put coats on since it was like 45 degrees. I grabbed some mandarins and a couple water bottles, I planned to be at the park all day in an effort to avoid my parents. We head out to my nearby park - about a 5 minute walk. She pressured me into making a video stating if anything went wrong, shes not responsible. Something I thought was ridiculously selfish and idiotic, but knowing her, I did it anyway and forgot about it in an effort to not ruin my mood.
<br>
<br>
We arrived at the park. We sat on the swings and just talked a little. The tab was still under my tongue. I asked Q how long we had been there. She told me it had been an hour, I did not believe her--it felt like 5 minutes. Something I thought was odd. I didn't feel or see anything. We went onto the playground and sat on it. I stared at the bars for a bit, occasionally looking up at the sky. It was a lovely day, I love the cold. We talked about nothing in particular. Until I really felt... odd. It looked like the bars of the playground were stretching indefinitely. Q asked me if I was feeling it, and I told her what I saw. She nodded and that was it.
<br>
<br>
I was mesmerized by the bars, but pulled myself away from looking at them after like 10 minutes. I thought now was a decent time to swallow my tab. I like chewing on things so it was in my mouth for a while just being chewed up, hence why it took so long for me to swallow it. I looked at the sky and trees, they looked beautiful. Q said she was really cold and uncomfortable. I was in a completely awkward state, it was like my regular thought process and cynicality of my personality was gone. I stayed silent.
<br>
<br>
She suggested we walk along the sidewalk that goes around the park.
<br>
<br>
It was so outstandingly gorgeous. The cold and scenery was just breathtaking. A boring old park became a beautiful painting. I have heard that yellow-tinted glasses make everything better. Thankful for me, I have these transition glasses that I have to wear. They turn a dark yellow whenever intense light hits them. So everything was yellow tinged. We walked around, and I took off my glasses. It was.. disappointing. Other than my lack of clear sight, it was just a boring type of neutral color. So I decided I'd keep them on.
<br>
<br>
We then sat on the swings. I wanted to listen to Shpongle, and wow was it amazing. They stimulated my mind in all the right ways. It felt so... right.
<br>
<br>
Everything in the universe seemed like it fit exactly where it was, like a big puzzle.
<br>
<br>
The music was grand. It sounded metallic to me.
<br>
<br>
Q said she was "super super" cold, and wanted to go home. I dreaded that. The fear of having to face my parents while on acid terrified me. But I was also really digging Shpongle, and the fear went away when I played attention to the song I was listening to. For those who care, I Am You and The Sixth Revelation were my favorite songs at the time.
<br>
<br>
We walked home, and thankfully nobody was home. We lied on my bed for a good hour. I was just exploring music like Pink Floyd and more Shpongle. Although I love Pink Floyd, it didn't seem like my forté at that moment. It just didn't resonate with me. It still sounded decent, though. But nothing special like Shpongle.
<br>
<br>
Anyway, Q left suddenly. She said she was bored and gonna watch tv in the living room. She left her vape on the bed, though. I was chilling on the bed by myself, thinking about my personality and my ego. It was pretty chill. It was eye-opening as well. I came to terms with a lot of aspects of my personality.
<br>
<br>
Honestly, I felt like the shit. My ego was so high, I felt like I was smarter than everyone else and that I was so beautiful. Which I normally never, ever think of. It was nice to be confident in my existence rather than my regular self-deprecating state of mind. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">It was nice to be confident in my existence rather than my regular self-deprecating state of mind.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
Anyway, I decided to go to the living room to join Q. My sister came home, and I was making myself some ramen. I wasn't hungry but thought why not, I haven't eaten anything at all today. It was maybe 12 or 1pm by this point. She asked me a question about whether or not her oatmeal was cooked all the way. I thought that was the most absurd question ever that only a dummy would ask. I mean--just follow the directions. It's not like oats have salmonella. Now I realize it was a normal question, not in terms of safety but for taste. I was thinking with complete logic and no emotion. So I thought of it as "is it safe" rather than "is it pleasurable".
<br>
<br>
I normally take feelings into consideration, so that was different. She asked if I was stoned, I said no. That was the end of that.
<br>
<br>
I ate my ramen and watched tv for like an hour. The tv morphed still and it was like...I was out of body? I don't know how to explain it, I just saw the world with a type of different weird perspective that felt like I was watching my whole house at one time.
<br>
<br>
Eventually I went to my boyfriends house, and kicked him and his friends ass at For Honor, which is pretty funny considering I get very angry whenever I play videogames and just simply don't have the motivation or hand-eye coordination to play those games. This only fueled my ego. It was funny that I was better than everyone else for once. And I didn't get mad when I lost once or twice. So I noticed that big personality change.
<br>
<br>
Eventually I decided I was gonna sleep over at his house. By 10pm I was still hallucinating. His house was breathing, his wall decorations were swirling and stretching, but much less than they had at the park. I still felt... weird. Like an underlying grease of my high still remained. I was honestly scared that my trip would never end. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I was honestly scared that my trip would never end.</div></div> I legitimately thought I would have that weird feeling of being high for the rest of my life since the high lasted so long. Turns out many people experience this, and it was just part of the come-down. Some people feel this way for another day. I was relieved.
<br>
<br>
The next day we went to Busch gardens. But I was just in such an awful mood. I thought that for such a relatively positive trip, I wouldn't feel so mentally agitated the next day.
<br>
<br>
So, in conclusion, my first trip was pretty chill. I know this was long, and I guess I went into unnecessary detail. But I loved reading long and in depth trip stories before my trip, they helped me the most in regards of knowing what I was getting into before I took that tab. I plan on taking a decent dose of Psilocybin very soon. I want to take a large enough dose so I can get rid of my ego completely, and see things in a different light once again.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2017</td><td width="90">ExpID: 110598</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 16</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 18, 2018</td><td>Views: 874</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=110598&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=110598&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Music Discussion (22), First Times (2), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It's been about a year and 3 months since I first dropped acid for the 1st time, shortly before my 20th birthday. One very very strange year during which I've been homeless (since before I ever got into entheogens), sketch-venturing with beautiful freaks in the laterals of society and consciousness and traveling across Canada 3 times, two of these 3 times by hitchhiking. A year of exploration, education and travel, physical and non, during which I've stepped through doors that lead to very strange places from which I didn't return the same. Among quite frequently smoking pot and experimenting some with other entheogens (a.k.a. Psychedelics) such as salvia, mushrooms and ketamine I've dropped acid 15-20 or so times. A report on one of these trips is <!--already posted here on erowid under general experiences of the LSD vault entitled --><a href="https://erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=52018">'alien morphonogenic babies in prayer'</a>.
<br>
<br>
I must say first and foremost that LSD, among other entheogens including pot, turned out to be for me one of the most fascinating and effective tools for self-actualization, healing and insight. From a purely psychological perspective it can allow one to confront and undo years of neuroses and self-and-other-destructive beliefs and habits. It can also help trigger what some would call a mystical or magickal awareness that transcends dogma, for LSD has the power to cleanse the mind from the parasitic mind-fungus we call dogmas. As I put it in an email to a close friend a few months ago:
<br>
<br>
'Entheogens (especially LSD) show me the multitude of infinitely varying possibilities of perceiving/processing reality/self, which can be anything at all especially when u regard the experience with a relativistic set, altho I think they serve more to foster this very relativistic set especially in a western cosmopolitan context with it's abundance of information. There's no more easy way out of accepting some goofy doctrine of what reality is because I become open to the hyperweirdness of all, and I know any perception of reality is merely a perception. In other words, entheogens unbind my imagination. Make me so much more open minded and open ended. That is I make myself that, but these things are great boosters and facilitators of that. They can set a way point. They can give substance to the practice, give one a quick and adventurous and very experientialy real peak past the veil. They can big bang the spirit/mind, if only for relatively short lasting periods of time that can however be so profoundly impacting and determinant of the worldviews and values upheld. My personal experiences of such spirit/mind big bangs are what I call 'the unobstructed flights of the boundless spirit across infinity', the permanent evolution/transcendence towards which I consider to be 'that what matters most'. Needless to say, no description can capture even the vaguest feeling of what these experiences themselves are truly like.
<br>
<br>
Entheogens are an endless topic, there's so much to them, and the best thing is that I cannot pin anything down with them, can't say that they are precisely 'this' and do precisely 'that', which they show me to be true with just about anything. It's as if they are making the mind more fluid, syncing it up this way with reality which also seems to be more fluid than static. It's also the whole sensational nature of the experience that is attractive. The hardass intensity. The adventures into bizzaritude. This very much leaks over into their social context as well. The individuals who use entheogens as exploration ships more often than not seem to be of the eccentric and anarchic and adventurous kind. The beautiful freaks, and these are the ones I gravitate towards.'
<br>
<br>
I've explored this topic further in 2 short articles which were part of a little self-published magazine, copies of which I was selling on the streets of Vancouver a few months ago:
<br>
<br>
Don't Believe Anything part 1
<br>
<br>
My experience with entheogens (especially LSD) enabled me to have a degree of control over my mind, taught me that all my thought/perception/behavior patterns are mere conditioned imprints that can be altered, they showed me the deconditioned, untaught mind, the infinite mind. A mind as it truly is, my own and only my own, thus making it possible for me to choose for myself how I want to perceive and process reality. By doing something like that, you are only taking back what's rightfully yours, in fact the only thing that's rightfully yours, yourself, your freedom to shape your own thoughts and emotions and beliefs and behavior. This involves understanding societal conditioning in all it's bullshititude, ripping apart rigid thought patterns instilled by experience and other people, not being a slave to a mind that isn't even of your own making but rather being a master of a mind that is. A practice whereby ingesting an entheogen one activates a patternless synaptic firestorm, a firestorm out of which you can willingly form new lasting thought patterns. Healthy, empowering thought patterns, if such you choose, those that uphold freedom and compassion.
<br>
<br>
Such anarchy of one’s mind is the first step to self-empowerment, that which those who control you fear most, the next step being able to do the same with your flesh. That awkward unwieldy flesh, so frail. Willing it into transformation. Hacking the code of matter. Not being its slave either. Breaking and bending the laws of the matrix. And that of course is far more difficult. Yet it is the trick to live and die for. A soul takes on a physical form to, among other things, learn how to manipulate this form. It learns this through will. That will shall persevere. That will shall overcome.
<br>
<br>
Don't Believe Anything part 2
<br>
<br>
After much thought and research and some tripping too, it seems to me that every belief system that I've come across so far is a pale and primitive interpretation of reality, an ontological cartoon. The universe is way way whaaay weirder and more insanely complex and bizarre than we can conceive. I think that one is free to interpret reality however they choose. It matters not. What matters is what you do in this reality. How you interact with it. What tricks you can pull in it. Whether you create a happier, freer life for yourself and others. Therefore, I believe in transcending belief (paradoxical, isn’t it).
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<br>
Any belief, any ideology, any set perspective on things is just that, and not the reality itself. By subjecting yourself to belief and ideology and set perspective you cut yourself off from the hyperweirdness of the universe. You put yourself into a very narrow viewpoint, a very thick filter of interpreting things, a very limited configuration of perception. You drastically reduce your mind's potential, removing other alternatives of the infinite variety of possible mental states. All systems of interpreting reality are at best incomplete if not totally ludicrous and must never be taken as truth but only be consciously used as tools when and if necessary.
<br>
<br>
I think no one knows what the fuck is truly going on. Those who claim they do, be very wary of. Thus to myself I say: imagine whatever you want, be completely free with your imagination and belief and all mental processes in general. What matters is the practical application, the consequences of these mental processes. Personally, I choose to be awed and inspired by how inconceivably weird everything is and not attach myself to any silly human cartoon of what reality is. Letting go of all these cartoons along with the ego causes one to be flooded by a stream that cannot be grasped. Immersed within that stream, centered yet dissolved, one is able to weave that which truly matters: transformation and empowerment of oneself and others. Immersed within that stream, focused yet receptive, one is able to make the most effective-efficient choices within the selection of choices available in each moment. Calm and fearless, such a person surfs the tidal wave of infinite complexity towards absolute freedom.
<br>
<br>
I'm going to wrap up this rant on a different topic and mood by talking about where I am at today as I'm going thru these profound changes of mind, personality and lifestyle catalyzed by the use of entheogens. I will do this by sharing an email I sent to my friends just yesterday:
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<br>
Hey fellers! Quick word from melter. The hitchhiking journey from vancouver to montreal was a blast. Ten days on the road with all sorta beautiful freaks. Fukin madness fractal ultra-super-mega-sketch-speed-shlarfle through time/space, distorted. Went strait to allison's place and the next day we went to a rave 4 hours away from montreal. Maaaahsive supertrippy stage, a breathing spazzing bopping neonic creature of humans inside a supertech alien freak-temple that is bludgeoning with 144bpm megabase psy-trance the physica to reach the ufos out in hyperweirdness, a beacon calling out the aliens. There was also a small chill stage nearby at the bottom of a slope next to a beach, and a tent city around it all with superhi french and ontario freaks running around, and us (allison-melter) lsdilated kittens in the middle. I've been staying with allison since, watching southpark talking eating getting stoned doing uninnocent things going out places etc. We're planning to go to the gaspe, a place in quebec on the atlantic shore sometime soon. A few nights ago we went for a jam with allison's friends who have access to a full-on (yet sketchy ofcourse) recording studio and sang with 3 mikes with effects on while one guy was fuking around with loops on the computer/mixer. Yesterday went to a secretive unlicensed afterhours place above a garage nearby tonight. There were few people there however, at one point a drunk french guy stumbled onto the dance floor with a dog. Just finished some wall-painting in the house, listening to trippy music while eating the legendary montreal bagels, gonna smoke a joint soon.
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<br>
Have been having many mystical experiences smoking pot especially since I got here, seen the first layer of my bio-electric filed (or aura) in full color several times now. Things are really intense on the (freak)head-space of things. Feel that restless will to trigger something alien to the monkey-mind, something that needs to explode out from within, sum sort of subtle super-frequency energy, the shockwave of which would affect places far weirder then this one. As if the inner-radiance is trying to burst out and with the power of this burst tear apart the locks of physical constants, releasing the inner-radiance of others as well. The unveiling. All this 2012 shit. Flaky-paranoid? Perhaps, but I'm trying to be as skeptical as I can at the same time, I think only the balance/fusion of the two can make one reasonable.
<br>
<br>
In a resent thc-inebriated moment of glory, I had this very intense thought that perhaps all this acceleration in technology and information that some believe will soon reach a crescendo could give us an ability to create a very special doorway of sorts. There are a lot of new age flakes who believe that in 2012 there's gonna be this planetary shift and aliens are gonna land and take our light bodies to a beautiful place and there will be peace and love forever blahblahblah. I being a reasonable person look at this sceptically of course, but I'm sure they're tapping into something big and weird and real around the corner nevertheless. I'm wondering if part of this big thing is that at our disposal there will be technology and information to create shortcuts to 'there'. Shortcuts in the sense of individual and universal quantum leaps from the sticky unmalleable fabric of dense form bound by consequences, devour-and-posses survival and pain-fear based experience into a state of disembodied consciousness capable of manifesting and unmenifesting an infinity of possibilities at it's will. Humanity already has technology to do miracles, literally, at this point. The problem is that the sick fuckers in power are hoarding it for war and dominance. I think this technology will be released and used in WW3, which at this point doesn't seem too unlikely and too far away. I'm wondering if this technology can be taken now and/or after the war and adopted and used to create shortcuts into full on physical transcendence. I don't think it's fair to even call them shortcuts, lets use the word passageways. Humanity and organic life in general has suffered harrowingly in physica for a very very long time now and now that we've come up with ways to bend and break laws of physics we have every right to rip apart these shackles, cut free from this anchor. The thing here is choice tho.
<br>
<br>
I doubt that it's just gonna happen like the new agies and other religious fanatics believe. We must make it happen. I'm wondering if it's possible to do that using all this technology in combination with the amassed databank of mystical/occult knowledge to create true, individual and universal, empirical, physical, concrete ruptures into hyperweirdness, or whatever other metaphor u prefer to use. No more prophets poets philosophers and all sorts of other wankers whose legacy instead of inspiring people to be free more often inspires twisted fucked up cults such as christianity and islam that end up devouring humanity. No more dogmas and chatter and high and mighty priests and gurus or any of that bullshit. Only the real thing now. Tangible doorways to heaven. The real fukin thing that is real on the most fundamental physical level. As a species, we've come this far, suffered this much, and it seems that we could very soon loose it all again. Again the ugly life of man's dark ages, again the cruel world of nature. Nononononononononononono!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Better a complete annihilation of all life on this planet than that. Yet I reserve my deepest hopes for something much better and more fantastic than any of us can ever imagine.
<br>
<br>
Love,
<br>
Melt
<br>
<br>
P.s. Don't worry, I'm about to spark up a joint and get my sense of humor back!
<br>
<br>
[Reported Substance: "focus on lsd and pot salvia, mushrooms and ketamine briefly mentioned as well"]<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2006</td><td width="90">ExpID: 55433</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Not Specified</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 19</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 26, 2018</td><td>Views: 900</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=55433&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=55433&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Cannabis (1), LSD (2) : Not Applicable (38), Retrospective / Summary (11)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">40 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/ketamine/">Ketamine</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">300 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mescaline/">Mescaline</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
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<!-- Start Body -->
Howdy, so here is the story of when I met Lucy.
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<br>
It was a brisk fall evening when me and my friend hit up this kid for acid. He said he had acid, mescaline, and ketamine, we said fuck it and asked for a little of each. Who doesn't like a good hard trip into the unknown.
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<br>
Now, a little back story on what has been going on in my life during this time. I started the drug phase of my life when I was 14. It was first spice and coke. OD'd then I moved onto pills. Dad OD'd on pills, which threw me into a whirlwind of intense depression with the thought of my dad dying from something I myself was doing. Needless to say, I took a break. Switched schools and met with some pot heads. Smoked weed for the first time, thought it was boring, so I searched around for more things. Got back into spice and pills.
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<br>
But then...I met this girl, C, who asked me if I've ever tripped before. I had not touched psychedelics before I met her. I always thought the idea of hallucinating as a 'myth'. So one day she picked me up after work, I'm 18 and graduated from high school at this point, and she said we're going to NYC to trip on some mushrooms. 'Sounds cool to me.' So, we got there and I ate an 8th, she ate a 16th and two tabs of acid. Nothing was happening for an hour for me. She was deep inside her head, I was holding her hand while she was crying. I didn't understand why and neither did she. So, I thought nothing of it. I started to get pissed off because nothing 'trippy' was happening. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I started to get pissed off because nothing 'trippy' was happening.</div></div> What about all the stories I've heard of aliens and trees turning into liquid? 'What a bummer...' But then...I looked at this giant ten story billboard with a soda can on it. There was condensation on the can. I started to focus more on it with an odd confusion. 'The water on it is dripping?' I nudge my other friend, M, asking, 'Dude, is that giant billboard a lcd screen?' He said 'no, why?' I said that it's fucking dripping. He laughed. I looked over at a building next to it and the windows were going in and out, the sides of the building were swaying side to side and the color of it kept changing. So I was actually fucking stocked! This shit really works!
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<br>
That first trip jolted me to desire more. I said I wanted to always do mushrooms. I thought that was badass that things would just move by themselves. Eventually I was introduced to Lucy. Oh boy was that a million times better.
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<br>
I am an artist in a lot of different ways. I like to write poetry, construct music, create paintings and sketches, and photography. I've also loved to indulge myself in various forms of thinking. I like to think I'm empathic from the hundreds of people I've come into contact with. I study the way other minds work and why they work in those way. In all I have always had a niche for paying close attention to detail, and creating things from nothing, or looking at something wanting to alter it to show what I see. Once I dropped my first tab I literally fell straight into my head. I never thought a drug could make me feel so at home in my own skin. I always wanted to be someone else or to forget myself, probably from the years being depressed and what not.
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<br>
Enough back story. Today is a year after my first trip. I've slowly built up my tolerance and created different 'rooms' for each amount of acid I would take at a time. My favorite was 8 tabs. It was the perfect balance of in-depth thought, visual hallucination, and sound visualization. Me and C were going to buy a strip each to hop up to the next level, but our dealer said he only had a strip, but he has mescaline and ketamine. I haggled him to give me a good deal on all three. I then had 5 tabs, 40mg of K, and 300mg of mescaline for myself.
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<br>
+0:00 I ate the whole lot as soon as he gave it to me. As soon as I ate them I instantly felt euphoria. Mainly because it's been two weeks since I last tripped. (I had a problem with psychedelics. Since I considered Lucy as a woman I fell in love with her and being in a trip as being home <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I had a problem with psychedelics. Since I considered Lucy as a woman I fell in love with her and being in a trip as being home</div></div> you can see why it was hard for me not to miss tripping since I was living in my friends car.) C then looked at me and said, 'I'll meet you there!'
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<br>
After the whole deal went down we started to realize we didn't have a plan of what we were doing. So we hopped back into her car and started to drive to the mall to see who was there. (Me and her were mall rats at the time.)
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<br>
<span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. <a href="/chemicals/show_image.php?i=dmt/dmt_contraindications1.gif">Don't do it!</a>]</span>
<br>
<br>
+0:30 While I was driving I started to get the tickle bellies and the jaw thing. We got to the mall and our usual crowd was there. All of their faces were so odd mixed with the florescent lighting. A lot of depth was starting to appear. On the more inward level, I could see how insecure all of them were and it made me want to get them to be more themselves and not these little emo kids that just want attention, but at the same time don't want anyone to notice how weak and emotional they are. I had thoughts about bettering my life and getting away from these people. I kept thinking how much of a loser I am for being in the mall while tripping. I shrugged that thought off like I do every time, because who wants to think about how much a piece of shit you are while tripping. After that I started conversations with random people, going out for cigarettes occasionally. I would talk to the security and asked him what his views on mall rats are. He didn't seem to be too fond of them, but he likes how easy it is to get weed from them.
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<br>
+2:00 Eventually, C's ex showed up and started to give her a hard time for tripping so we decided to hit the road. I was getting bored of being a pest to the mall faculty. We hop into the car and I start feeling a peak come on so I started to book it to C's house. Apparently while I wasn't looking C invited 9 people to her parents house. (She was kicked out, but she still had the key.) So, we started to drive there trying to make sure they don't get there before us. We get there and most of them are already in the drive way. We step inside and everyone goes down to the basement to smoke up. I didn't like weed at the time because it made me feel weird and I would think about how fucked up my life is. So I chilled in her living room staring at the ceiling.
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<br>
+3:00 My body felt so strange against the leather couch. My arms kept sticking to it creating this weird noise every time I lift my arm.
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<br>
+3:30 For a moment I saw these dots in the ceiling. I didn't remember seeing them before. They started to move more vigorously. Now they are starting to spin. Slowly...now faster. A bit faster. I can't see dots anymore I can only see a technicolor circle. These lines start to connect within the circle. They formed some weird triangular thing. The design then stopped moving...It shoots straight towards me; I'm engulfed inside some tunnel. It feels as if I'm being sucked into a worm hole. I thing see a snake starting to appear. It slithers closer to me until it too engulfs me. It's an endless amount of snakes devouring me. I start to become increasingly more nervous. But then I see something. I'm not too sure what to make of it, but it moves with the strangest speed. It feels like it's moving fast but it's also moving insanely slow. I then see that it's a head with an intense crowd upon it. The trails are endless with the most insane amount of colors per trail. A woman appears in front of me. She is the most beautiful, magnificent woman I have ever seen. She is glowing. Oh my god she was a goddess. She starts to speak to me...But the words she's speaking are unrecognizable. I have never heard someone speak in this way. I keep asking her what she is saying. I can't understand her. Her face begins to get angry. Her eyes glow red. She starts to scream at me. I just want her to stop. Why won't she stop screaming at me. She then lets out the loudest sound I have ever heard in my imagination. Her jaw snaps...It dangles by a thread of muscle. She then shoots out to me. Devouring me. Then that was it. Nothing more. I start to notice where I am again. I almost don't even see any visuals, but the thoughts are still there.
<br>
<br>
I would continue explaining this trip, but there's not much more. I tell C what just happened. She starts to talk about extremely angry things. Beating up some stuffed animal she found. Eventually the trip simmers down for the two of us and we go to walmart to buy some glass bottles filled with soda and go to some abandoned road and smash them, <!--which if you didn't know,--> breaking bottles is one of the best things to do when I really can't handle the anger that's inside me.
<br>
<br>
Epilogue.
<br>
I learned from that experience that my mind was telling me that I'm fucking up my life and I need to get it together. So, I did. Now I trip once a year and do no other drugs. I've found a way to bring the awareness of psychedelics into my everyday life. The only thing I needed to do was pay attention.
<br>
Yay, happy ending.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2011</td><td width="90">ExpID: 104739</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 27, 2018</td><td>Views: 1,863</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=104739&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=104739&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Ketamine (31), Mescaline (36), LSD (2) : Various (28), Depression (15), Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
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<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">105 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
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<!-- Start Body -->
This trip report is a mix of a difficult and enlightening experience. However, at the time I was extremely emotionally and physically distressed. This report is to help others decide whether or not to take LSD, particularly people who live in the country and are used to being alone.
<br>
<br>
My story begins on a late July evening. I had just finished a typical night of smoking some weed with my cousin (known as T) at a friend's house. When the session was over, they had explained the night prior everyone tripped and they had a couple tabs leftover. I had done LSD before with Ecstasy and totally fried my brain, but that was months ago. I was pretty damn bored that night, with nothing planned after my cousin would drop me off. I bought the tab for cheap and my cousin and I were on our way.
<br>
<br>
Cousin T and I were driving around, and I was pretty excited to finally trip without any other substance distorting the purity of the experience. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I was pretty excited to finally trip without any other substance distorting the purity of the experience.</div></div> I had put the tab under my tongue, and she immediately replied "Whoa dude. I'm not gonna be able to hang with you all night. You're gonna be feeling pretty crazy." I was 18 and pretty naive despite past history of drug use. I had no idea what I was getting in to.
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<br>
She dropped me off at my house and I had yet to feel anything. I did not eat much that day, which turns out to be a not-so-good idea. I went up to my room and put on King of the Hill on Adult Swim. Suddenly, the acid kicked in. A character's voice began speaking quite slowly, and I visually saw their mouth moving slowly despite knowing they were not talking like that at all. This experience distressed me despite being mentally prepared for tripping effects. My room was dark except for the tv, and watching this strange effect amplified the madness of the acid. My anxiety grew, and I began feeling detached from reality. I did not lose my cool, but I went downstairs to let my parents know I was going for a night walk (this was a normal occurrence for me and did not spark any issues).
<br>
<br>
Although I went on a night walk to help ease my nerves, I vomited profusely a couple of times. It was embarrassing, as I'm sure some neighbors heard it. My dad had Neil Young playing on his outdoor speakers and I SWEAR I was able to hear clearly defined music for at least half a mile, despite other noises of summer nights in the country like crickets or neighborhood bonfires. I thought that was an amazing feature, and I rode on that for the rest of the trip. On my walk, I was able to keep it cool when cars went by, even though the headlights were exceptionally bright. Lights from homes which shone onto the road looked distorted in a way that is hard to describe: almost sideways, and curved. My peripheral vision seemed cloudy and bent in a strange, almost flashing way. To elaborate, the light in my peripheral vision seemed to flash, but I knew this was only an effect from the acid. Regardless, it actually kept spooking me a bit and keeping me on my nerves. Whenever I smoked a cigarette, I knew I only took one or two drags, but my cigarette LOOKED finished. IT WAS SO WEIRD, and one of the funniest/strangest effects I ever had off a drug. I am going to assume that is from how fucked up my vision was. I wonder if anyone else had that experience.
<br>
<br>
I began playing Sgt. Peppers, and when I reached Lovely Rita, it seemed like I lost my ego. I am unsure exactly, but I forgot that I took a drug. I just felt like I was the only person in the entire universe who did not feel "normal", and this is I believe the worst part about tripping alone. I felt so far-out of myself, I could not relate to my surroundings in the cozy way I had all my life. I was very familiar with the surroundings I was in, but I felt disconnected <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I was very familiar with the surroundings I was in, but I felt disconnected</div></div>, and vivaciously nauseous the entire trip. I am sure my empty stomach and low blood sugar did not help me enjoy my trip.
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<br>
I ended up making it back home after awhile, and I attempted to make Ramen noodles to eat something. As expected, this failed, and I did not have a notion of what boiling water had felt like, and I almost spilled a whole pot of it onto my hand. I ended up eating fruit, but I was shaking from nerves about this entire experience and I vomited all over myself. I tried to go back up to my room, as I realized no matter what environment I was in, I was going to be uncomfortable and distraught. This was the worst part of my trip: I legitimately felt like I was dying. I attribute this to ego loss, forgetting I was on a drug, not having a trip sitter to ground me, not letting anyone know what I was doing besides my cousin, and not really having a good time. I never ended up falling asleep that night, and I had to work the next day all day. I had a smoothie for breakfast with my parents, but I vomited that up as well. I remember wanting to be near them, and being relieved at watching the sunrise happen the next morning. I came off my trip, but I felt so physically ass-kicked that I NEVER touched LSD again.
<br>
<br>
In short, this experience actually enlightened my life by showing me to appreciate the health I have (mentally and physically) and to appreciate the boorishness of sober mindsets. To be honest, this experience occurred about 7 months after my mom died and I did not properly grieve or accept this. My trip has shown me that physical death is inevitable, but you must treat your mind and your brain cells with ABSOLUTE care. This trip helped me become a more responsible person, and to stop treating substances as the "answer".
<br>
<br>
I do not regret taking LSD, but I always wonder if I would be a happier person without it. I stopped talking to those friends and my cousin, as I realized how toxic they were using drugs for recreation so frequently while never achieving the dreams they always talk about. Can't win all the time, I suppose. Thank you for reading this, as this experience meant alot to me. I hope it can help others as well.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2014</td><td width="90">ExpID: 112738</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 27, 2018</td><td>Views: 930</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=112738&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=112738&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Beer/Wine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">155 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I had been wanting to try LSD for some time. Prior to my experience with LSD, mushrooms and DXM <!--(dont recommend it) -->were my two trips of choice. Since some friends and I were going to attend a festival and planned on taking LSD there, I decided I would like to try it out before we went so I could see what my tolerance was and know what to expect.
<br>
<br>
My friend 'K' informed me that he could get some 'good acid' for only $15. So I gladly purchased a dose (one sugar cube). That night a friend of mine 'S' was having a cabin party out at a lake and I decided to take the dose and not tell anyone (I'm extremely perceptive and even more so when on psychoactives) because I dont enjoy having people that aren't tripping knowing that I am (it's all the weird looks, expectations, and pragmatics of discussion that make me uneasy). This turned out to be a good decision on my part.
<br>
<br>
I took the dose and joined my friends at the bonfire on the beach. It was already night and very dark out as I started to get giggly.
<br>
<br>
The onset took roughly 30-40 min before I knew I was indeed on a trip. The conversations around the fire took on a new level of connection. I felt I knew EXACTLY what my friends would say before they said it, which meant that I had a witty (often humorous) response waiting at the end of their every statement. This was a very good experience, around the bonfire, I felt the way MDMA makes me feel, deeply connected to my surroundings and the friends around me.
<br>
<br>
When I went inside to get a beer and use the restroom I noticed that I was soaring to the plateau of my trip. The bathroom was exquisite! The beach motif in the room, with warm colors and such, was amazing...it was clear I was on my way. When I came back out and gave my friend K a beer, he suggested we play a little nerf ball. Intrigued, I joined his team of 3 and inquired about the rules. Nerf ball consisted of two teams of 3 throwing a nerf (whistling) football and trying to hit each other from roughly 60 yards down the beach in the pitch black. Needless to say this was EXTREMELY thrilling while on LSD.
<br>
<br>
I was all giggles as we would turn our backs to the other team and wait for the whistle of the football to come our way. Imagine something out of an old war movie with whistling torpedoes wizzing past your head. I scored for our team by hitting someone on their team and I was ecstatic, feeling the way a child does when they have found an inner connection with a new group of friends (although this had been my group of friends for years and years).
<br>
<br>
After the game (at this time I was clearly plateauing) my friend K suggested a boat ride. This idea caught my attention immediately and I ran to secure a spot in the back of the boat. After cracking a few jokes with my friend R who was accompanying me in the back of the boat(and crying after laughing for so long) we left the shore and began to cruise the black waters of the lake. I recall repeating 'the stars sure are good tonight' several times, to anyone who would listen. Out in the country away from the city lights we were privy to thousands of twinkling stars. These stars were the focus of my hallucinations. I had never seen anything so beautiful as the stars that night, but I wasn't viewing them the same way as I did when sober. Tonight (on LSD) the stars seemed to be on several different planes of dimension. By this I mean that I could tell how far or near stars were, which galaxies shown the brightest and found it extremely easy to mentally map our boats progress by merely using the stars. It felt like if we were to boat to the edge of the lake we could just continue our journey out into the stars and space. They (the stars) were projected in a sort of 3D real-time where depth, distance, brightness, and location all merged together making me feel as if I could navigate our boat to anywhere in the world with no problems if I so desired. One last note about the night sky is that I found (and still hold, strangely enough)a deep interest in flying planes. Since the stars were so detailed in their location and depth I could see EXACTLY where the plane's trajectory was from and where it was leading it. Imagine viewing the sky, not as a 2D plane of reference, but more of a 3D aviary where I could see up to, under, and around all sides of a plane in the night sky. It gives me a very real feeling of superior vision.
<br>
<br>
After the boat ride, my trip began to slow down and die off small bits at a time. I found that smoking cannabis (I'm a daily user anyway) gave me a great sense of normality, making the come down easy and light; but at the same time highlighting what was left of the LSD in my body. Around this time I found a seat at the now dwindling bonfire and starred at the flames, falling into a trance of inner reflection. I study philosophy at a local university and found that LSD offered me a much clearer (than mushrooms) window into my consciousness and the systems of the world. I should note that my entire trip I found myself again and again wanting to write about what I was seeing/thinking/feeling. During this inner reflection a Japanese tourist/friend of a friend was also starring into the flames quietly. I couldn't help but notice her and what she was doing. After nearly 30 minutes of watching the fire she reached her hand into the heart of the burning pit, calmly and without haste. She reached into the flames so far that from my vantage point I could no longer see her arm nor what she was reaching for. Her hand emerged holding a small piece of wood about the size of a persons fist. She looked at it then proceeded to place it in a different place in the fire. As soon as she had strategically placed this insignificant piece of wood back into the fire; what was once a dwindling spark became the raging fire it once was earlier in the night. This absolutely blew me away, because for hours my American friends had tried to beat, stir, and add to the fire to make it roar...and she had taken this all in and when everyone had tried their method she quietly crept to the fire, healed it, and backed away so as not to incur any recognition for her deed. This gave me a great understanding of the Japanese culture and how americans always believe they can fix anything by merely adding to it, when in fact the solution is hidden in the problem itself.
<br>
<br>
After the fire finally burnt out everyone went inside to go to bed. I found there was no way I could sleep and decided to drive home and shower before work the next morning. On the drive home (it was sunrise) I found incredible inner peace and sanctuary, while at the same time feeling slight depression and mourning for the sensations I had while on LSD.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2008</td><td width="90">ExpID: 72093</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 1, 2019</td><td>Views: 825</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=72093&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=72093&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Nature / Outdoors (23), Large Party (54)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 3:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">.5 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">.5 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 6:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">.5 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">120 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
MDMA Made My First Acid Trip Beautiful
<br>
<br>
This was my first LSD experience, so the friend who gave me the acid advised me to take MDMA first to help avoid the possibility of a bad trip. (I’ve taken MDMA three times before this.) I’ve been wanting to take acid for several years, mainly so I could see the world in the startlingly different way that so many have raved about, and see what it might show me about life and myself. I’m in a fairly good place in my life and I don’t have deep, painful issues I’m dealing with that might complicate an LSD trip, but I’m not highly experienced with psychoactives and my friend knew I was a little nervous about what LSD might do to my mind, and he wanted to help make it good for me.
<br>
<br>
So I took one MDMA pill at 2:00 in the afternoon. I was at a friend’s house, which is small, warm, and super-cozy, and most of the time I lay on her sofa wrapped up in a blanket. During my E peak, I just talked to her about my past and felt happy (which is what I tend to do on E.) I finally took half a hit of acid at 5:00, toward the middle to end of my MDMA peak. My friend (who’s taken a lot of acid in the past) took half a hit at 5:00 as well. (She didn’t want to get super-high, just moderately high.) By 7:00 she said she was high, but I didn’t feel it yet. “How can you tell?” I asked. “If you can’t tell, you’re not high,” she answered. I only felt a strange, calm muddiness, as though the tail end experience of the X had simply extended for a really long time, but without the joy of the X peak. My friend suggested that the LSD was having to get through the MDMA to show its effects.
<br>
<br>
I took another half hit of acid at 7:00, and at 8:00, still not feeling strong effects—just feeling the sense of being out of it and in a timeless haze—I took a final half hit. Finally at around 9:00, images started changing. The flowers on the table began to have slight motion. Colors started leaping from the lights in my peripheral vision.
<br>
<br>
At 10:00 I began to truly peak on the acid. The wall looked like it was melting in beautiful green waves, and I was astounded at how I could look at one corner of the room and see it countless different ways—my brain could take all the same bits of visual information and put them together in a million ways. There was a Beatles album cover on a shelf, and their four faces changed throughout the night, coming to life, growing older then younger, switching places on the cover, their lips moving as though they were speaking to me. The flowers around the room seemed to be in flames: they undulated and glowed from within and danced. The room darkened and lightened, and the most amazing thing was music: I felt as though the music we were listening to (mostly mellow jazz and some Beatles) was in my head, and had been written for this exact occasion, and that the singers on the CD were actually speaking to me in a regular voice—they weren’t singing notes, they were talking to me quite clearly. At one point, I even thought that the song I was hearing was actually what I was thinking in my head, and I had to turn to my friend in slight confusion to see if she heard it too: “Is that the CD or is it what I was thinking?” I asked. I could hear every layer of sound in each song as I never had before, every instrument and every harmony, and the harmonies were so rich and beautiful it was almost painful.
<br>
<br>
The thing I didn’t have was bold new insights or great clarity of thought. I didn’t suddenly have an Einsteinian “eureka!” moment about the meaning of life. I think that might be because the MDMA had clouded some of the clarity I’ve heard results from acid, and my brain—while incredibly busy, almost overloaded with the beauty and vibrancy of the color and movement around me—was not able to focus well, but only to receive everything I was seeing and hearing. However, the way I was able to see the world, and the amazement I felt in response to that new vision, was a profound experience in and of itself, even without specific, meaningful thought. It was truly a powerful all-sensory experience—which makes sense because it was infuenced by the X.
<br>
<br>
In most ways it was an ideal first acid trip. What made it so was the music, the X I took beforehand, my friend’s cozy house, and her kindness—she’d get up to change the music or get me water every so often, and otherwise she was happily tripping on a sofa nearby and always had a smile for me, so I felt very safe. I’ll feel more comfortable taking acid alone now that I have a sense of its effects.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2006</td><td width="90">ExpID: 57677</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 1, 2019</td><td>Views: 1,060</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=57677&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=57677&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">MDMA (3), LSD (2) : General (1), First Times (2), Combinations (3), Music Discussion (22), Guides / Sitters (39), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(edible / food)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">100 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<span class="erowid-warning">[Erowid Note:
The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]</span>
<br>
<br>
It was about 10 at night and I was with my two roommates. We were completely bored so my boyfriend and I decided randomly to take some LSD. The other roommate doesn't really enjoy tripping that much but he was completely ok with just hanging out with us for the night. My boyfriend and I both had a 3 hitter sugarcube and we had the remnants of a vial left. We had been saving this vile for sometime but didn't know quit what to do with it. We just decided to go for it. We then cut it open and licked out the remaining liquid in it. Stupid move, but we thought it would probably be a fun night. After the trip had ended I would say that it felt about like 9 hits total for the night? That is a complete guess but just for the sake of trying to put a number on it, I think that's it.
<br>
<br>
Just for the record we are both very experienced with LSD, although we had never taken quite as much as this we have taken 5-6 hits on a regular basis. We have never had bad trips either, maybe rough moments but that's about it.
<br>
<br>
It was almost instantaneous. Most likely because of us licking it out, I don't know. I would say less than 20 minutes we were very much coming up. Everything was going awesome though. We were both feeling really great and decided to go down to the basement to play some music and just hang out. My boyfriend, lets call him John, was playing guitar and I was playing piano, and it was awesome. Ha. Playing music while tripping is the most awkward yet satisfying thing. I became completely entranced in it. For full minutes at a time I would just go off on my own little solo and feel as though it was my soul speaking in music form.
<br>
<br>
I then decided to do some painting which only turned out to be bright colors and squiggly lines of weird faces and things. My other roommate, Frank was just playing drums completely happy watching us playing and painting terribly. I would find myself just staring at the tapestry on the wall as the butterflies would almost fly off of it and around the room. I could feel their souls, they were real. The picture I was painting was real, the man's face I was drawing was speaking to me. Sometimes good sometimes mean things. My spirits were still high though.
<br>
<br>
After about an hour of this we decided to go upstairs, it wasn't quite as intense as we were expecting so we decided to smoke some weed. If there was anything we shouldn't have done, it was smoke weed. We usually do quite a bit but almost instantaneously after smoking the other three hits from the sugar cubes brought us to our knees. We were just sitting on the couch listening to Tom Waits and my world collapsed. The room fell over on itself. Frank told me afterwards that I said I'm going crazy, the world is falling apart. With each second the room would collapse on itself then the next second it would do it again and then again. I would close my eyes and I had no idea what was going on outside of my mental head. I had no idea if I was standing, sitting, laying, nothing. All I could feel was pure terror. It was the biggest mind-fuck I have ever experienced. I remember looking up and seeing my roommate and being scared to death of him because he wasn't tripping with me and had no idea what I was going through. I curled up in my boyfriend's lap (who at this point later said that at that moment almost the same thing happened to him) and cried and kept repeating I'm going crazy, I'm going crazy. After what seemed to be an eternity (I'm sure it was only a minute) I regained sight of what was happening, I was just tripping, it is only a drug. We decided some fresh air would do us good.
<br>
<br>
I think sometimes walking is the only way to go, so we walked. The world was dark, not new and fresh like I had experienced in every other trip. There were demons lurking around every tree, every bush. Just keep walking, just keep walking. My heart was racing. I would close my eyes and my body would disappear, my lip ring was the only thing that still existed. (It was really weird, but I think because I was biting it constantly that that's why I thought this) My body was dead. All that was left was my beating heart, I was a walking dead. I asked several times if there was any way I could die from this drug only to have my boyfriend reassure me that there was no way on only 9 hits.
<br>
<br>
We talked and talked, mostly about theology. We were completely unhindered to talk about religion, spirituality, and how we think the world should be. God seemed utterly ridiculous. Religion was ridiculous. Culture seemed ridiculous. I didn't even know why I even wore clothes.
<br>
<br>
At one point during the night we saw a train go by. We ran full sprint until we were about 5 feet from it. It was the most amazing thing I had ever seen. The only thing that was real at that moment was the train. Everything else was some sort of foreign world. The train was almost comforting. The sound of the whistles, the way the wheels sound on the tracks. It was so large and so loud it took over my world for those few minutes. It was one of those moments that you are so overwhelmed that you just want to cry, not out of terror, but out of awe. The wind from the train was absolutely breathtaking.
<br>
<br>
From there we decided to go inside we were feeling a little better after that. The house was so foreign. While walking up the stairs I felt like I was entering new worlds. If I looked at anything I could see a fourth dimension. It's really hard to explain, but it was definitely nothing like a 3-d world. The walls were more than breathing, they were alive. The door would move so much that it could be on the other side of the wall. Everything had a spirit, everything had a voice talking to me, some comforting, some not so comforting. I eventually had to lay on the bed, which is where I stayed for the rest of the night and closed my eyes. I had to just let go of everything holding me back from having a good trip. Every anxiety, I just had to let go of. The world was swimming in itself. It was almost like the world was dancing. For the last couple of hours that is all that we did, lay there and let the music and the world dance with us.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2007</td><td width="90">ExpID: 64349</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 17, 2019</td><td>Views: 932</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=64349&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=64349&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Music Discussion (22), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(edible / food)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/clonazepam/">Pharms - Clonazepam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">145 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Spring was here, the snow melted, the temperature started to rise and freedom from being shut in from winter gave its yearly relief. Some friends of mine and I planned on going to a festival in late May. This was my first festival and I was quite pumped for drugs and live music. Because I was quite excited and had to work late the night before sleep was something I had little of. We were running a little bit behind schedule but we made it. My friend (we’ll call him Ole) was excited as I was and because he was excited as I was he too had little to no sleep. We struggled to set our tents probably and in the end I am glad it didn’t rain like it was supposed to because my tent totally would have been soaked inside.
<br>
<br>
When I arrived and saw everyone else on various drugs that were going around my first feeling wanted to get on the same level as them. After watching the main band that we went there for it was roughly 12:30 am. During this time my other friend (we’ll call him Sven) had gotten some Oreos that had two hits on each Oreo. We went to our tents and got some more Oreos. I took one Oreo and both Sven and Ole took two Oreos.
<br>
<br>
We sat in the tents, smoked Cannabis and visited with the guy we got the Oreos from. After he left my two friends and I decided to take a walk. My guess is that it was around 1:30 am. I started to feel the affects around this time. It rained quite hard earlier so the night was cool and damp. In my head as I walked through the mud I imagined it as the area labeled between two trenches during WW1 called “No man’s land”. This is a place where I don’t want to be. Not sure why No man’s land was in my head, it could have been the cool and foggy weather which is quite similar to European weather and the mud reminded me of trenches. While I was in No man’s land another feel of worry swept over me. The dark realization came in my head that I was in an unfamiliar place that I have never been to.
<br>
<br>
By this time I would say it was around 2:45 am. I was kind of paranoid of giving my friends a bad trip so I never once said anything about No man’s land or being worried about being in an unfamiliar place. I would about twenty minutes later manage to tell myself to calm down and that I was in an unfamiliar place but it definitely was not a hostile one. I have taken LSD a few times before so I learned the ability control and ease my worried tripping mind.
<br>
<br>
My trip started to turn good at this point. I became mesmerized by the trees as they swayed in the air. The branches seemed to sway in the wind so harmoniously that it was as if I heard music and the branches were dancing to the music. I did notice that someone was playing some electronic music by their tent. This made me laugh pretty hard perhaps because the idea that whoever was playing music had no idea that he was helping in my trip and that amused me quite a lot. We decided to take our stroll towards the outhouses to empty our bladders. I’d say when we went to the outhouses it was around 3:30 am. I stood in a pitch black outhouse urinating while directly at face level there was a hand sanitizer dispenser. Since it was dark enough the only thing I could see was the shape of it. I started to contort faces I saw on this dispenser. I was going between smiling and frowning. In my head after I contorted the face to frowning for about the fourth time I looked a little above the dispenser and there was the most evil demonic looking smiling face with triangle shaped teeth. This face was huge and it took up most of the wall I was standing in front of. I quickly looked down, shaked and walked out of the outhouse. I took a deep breath and said to Ole as I was laughing “shit dude it’s fuckin intense in there”. He agreed as he looked back the stalls (I have no idea what he saw in the stall he went in). We walked around more and at this point we didn’t really have a whole lot to do so we decided to go back to the tent and smoke some more Cannabis.
<br>
<br>
When we got back into the tent we smoked a lot of weed mainly because it was something to do and we had plenty of it. There was this extremely annoying security golf cart that drove right by our tent because we set up our tents right by the path (there were slim pickins for tent spots when we got there). The light flashing was a little nerve wracking. But we learned to deal with it. Ole humorously told me that this is my castle and I have complete control of it. Ole is quite a big guy with a deep voice. As I looked at him looking out of the tent at other people he reminded me of this large goofy medieval general that was in charge of an army that was protecting this castle. It was very cartoon like and extremely funny. We continued smoking and thought it would be funny to shine our flash light at people walking by. One guy with a UN helmet came walking past and he dropped everything and said in a much panicked voice “Im cool man, Im just looking for the bathrooms”. The even funnier part of it was he was walking in the opposite direction of the bathrooms. Right now I can admit that I feel a little bad fuckin with the dude. It was probably the Cannabis
<br>
<br>
It was starting to get light out by now. Ole then assured me that if it rains I will get wet. I am sure it was true and that was something that made me a little uneasy but at this time I was laying down in the tent staring at this red line through on the tent roof noticing that it was getting light out. I knew that this would bring on new hallucinations so I popped my head out and enjoyed looking at the branches while admiring the colors of green in contrast with the whitish gray milky color of the sky. The time then was probably around 4:30-5:00 am.
<br>
<br>
I sat back up and realized that Sven has been a little quite. Right after me noticing that my buddy was being a little quite I noticed that red line on the ceiling of the tent again. That red line distracted me. I looked at this line and noticed that the red inside the line started forming what kind of looked like D.N.A. As I was completely staring at the line I listened to Sven and Ole talk. Sven was getting a little worried about the tent and it not being waterproof. I told him not to worry. I had no reason to give why he shouldn’t worry but at this time I was too enthralled by the red line and honestly didn’t at all care about the rain. Ole assured Sven that it would be alright and he should calm down. Sven then said “no its not, it’s not alright”. At this point t was obvious that Sven was having a bad trip.
<br>
<br>
Ole and I tried talking to Sven again. He was unresponsive. We asked him again still with no response. He was in this total vegetative state for a good few minutes. Ole then humorously said “dude your tripping balls”. Sven then just got this horrible look on his face like he was just rejected by the girl of his dreams or something. We asked him if he was alright. Sven then finally replied “I am just losing my mind”. I humorously retorted “right, isn’t it awesome just relax and go with it” in an attempt to lighten the mood. My eyes were still fixed to this red line and watching all the different shapes flow through it like a river. Ole then looked at Sven and asked “dude are you crying, do you need a hug”? Ole replied with “no, I fucked up”. Okay, I must vaguely explain background of this. Sven has some legal issues and he is essentially looking at 15 years in prison. He thanked Ole for being such a good friend and I thought maybe these negative emotions were leaving him.
<br>
<br>
We sparked up another bowl and Sven told Ole “I get it now”. Ole and I were trying to figure out what he gets but we never really did. He would not respond to the question “what do you get”? He said it again “I get it now”. We asked again “what do you get”? He looked at Ole with a very angry look and said in a stern voice “why are you doing this to me”! We asked Sven what Ole was doing and he wouldn’t say. I tried to calm him down and I offered him a cigarette. He replied to my offer “no I am turning my life back to Christ”. I knew Sven was a Christian so I encouraged it and maybe thought it would calm him down or at least bring some kind of light in his head. Sven then said “dude I am never doing acid again”. When he said this I had it my mind that it was almost a mission or something of Ole and I to calm him down and turn his trip around. At this point also I stopped paying attention to the time but it had to be at least 6 am and we all were still tripping pretty hard. Sven then proceeded to speak in tongues and call out for Jesus to save him. This to say the least freaked the fuck out of Ole and I. I then said “dude we have been in this tent for way to long, lets go for a walk”.
<br>
<br>
Sven got out first, then Ole and me. When I got out of the tent (which was quite the challenge) Ole told me that Sven stared at him as he was hiding behind a tree right by our tent and then ran away. Ole then started freaking out. He said “dude this is not good, some crazed hippy with his knife on him running around thinking that people are trying ‘to do something to him’”. Ole has some anxiety issues and has told me before that he is a paranoid schizophrenic. He literally thought that Sven was trying to kill him. I calmed him down and we walked around and discussed this crazy situation. Maybe a half hour later we saw Sven being carried away by two Sheriffs and some security while he was screaming on the top of his lungs ”JESUS IS MY SAVIOUR, HE’S IN THE WHITE VAN”! I had all these thoughts racing through my head. I have no problem with the whole Jesus thing but when it turns into a snitch thing then it’s no so cool. If he spilled the beans in detail Ole and I might get into trouble for harboring a fugitive. I began to panic. All these thoughts were racing through my head. We walked by a tent of some early risers one of them said to Ole and I “hey you dropped something”. We were obviously confused and looked on the ground. The guy then said “your smile”. I knew this guy had no idea of what situation we were in or the seriousness of it but regardless I found my smile again. When he said that the uncontrollable smile I gave felt like a surge going in face then into my brain of utter happiness and relief. In my still tripping mind I told myself whatever happens, happens and there is nothing I can do about it. I can be all freaked or try to enjoy the rest of my LSD trip. This took a lot of will and mental power. I was going to title this report “Triumph of the will” but unfortunately that is the name of a Nazi propaganda film.
<br>
<br>
My buddy Ole on the other hand couldn’t achieve the apathy my brain had towards our current situation. He wanted to try to sleep and asked if he could share my tent because remember he still thought Sven was trying to kill him. As Ole and I walked Ole kept on reminding me what was going on as I was noticing all the tents breathing or looking at some pretty girls. I wanted to just walk around more until the LSD wore off but Ole wanted to sleep as he told me “its time to go to bed”. Being the good friend I am I decided to try to get some sleep. My good friend was tripping and he thought someone was trying to kill him. If it was any other situation where we had two tents and he wanted to stay in mine I would have felt a little awkward. I lay down and tried to sleep. The distractions left and the only thing I had was my mind and my thoughts. I started to lose my smile again and became panicked. I asked for a Klonopin pill that Ole was prescribed to. This helped me calm down but I sure did not sleep. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the patterns that my brain produced. I dozed off eventually.
<br>
<br>
The next day Ole saw Sven sleeping in a cot by the security tent. Nothing happened, the Sheriffs were allowed to be there in order to help security if need be. The park was on private property so it turned out that the police really couldn’t do much. I doubt they even knew of his current legal situation. In the end this trip made me much of a more mature tripper. I have learned that sleep is very important the night before dosing. I will not trip with anyone having something extremely heavy over there head. Sven and Ole were much more mature trippers then I. This experience also has let me learn that even mature trippers can have bad trips. I don’t want to know what kind of hellish crazy world my friend Sven was in but because of what I learned from this event hopefully I will never be there. As freaky as this was this is something now I can laugh about.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2011</td><td width="90">ExpID: 91651</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 23</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 24, 2019</td><td>Views: 760</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=91651&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=91651&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Nature / Outdoors (23), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">180 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Obama had just won presidency, and I was moved to tears by his emphasis on America's greatest assets being truth, democracy, and egalitarian relations (instead of conquest, military force, and wealth). I celebrated all night, dancing spontaneously at numerous parties on my college campus, shouting 'here's to humanity, here's to our mother earth!'. I got blissfully drunk.
<br>
<br>
Once inebriated and back in my dormroom at 4am, I took 3 tabs on a whim. The duration of the experience happened in this room.
<br>
<br>
The trip was a rollercoaster: at points I contemplated suicide matter-of-factly (absent of terror and anxiety), while at other points I was seeing a divine eye and matrix overlooking me.
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<br>
For this report, I want to focus on the 'negative' experience, as I think it highlights the possibility for 'unwanted life-changing experiences.'
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<br>
As the LSD came on strong, I was staring out my window. I saw beautiful trees, greenery, and thriving life (including groups of students merrily walking), but this beauty was CUT and MARRED by the numerous roads and cars streaking like dirty death bullets through my campus. This led to the realization that I was in the city, deeply desiring a natural habitat but unable to access it.
<br>
<br>
I have always been a huge fan of human rights. While not religious, I firmly believe in the human spirit. This experience undermined and questioned what I thought to be a guiding force in my life.
<br>
<br>
I lost my ego to the force of 'human conquest,' strangling every last living beauty from this earth. I realized that no matter what I did, there was no way to escape being a firm member of a destructive civilization. The notion that an environmentally destructive civilization is the 'natural evolution of humankind' became imprinted on my cosmic view.
<br>
<br>
Since returning to baseline, I have re-questioned my unwanted awakening, and do not plan to change my course in life (guided by love for both the planet and humanity). However, it was a deeply disturbing experience that irrationally stays in my psyche to this day.
<br>
<br>
Here's some unfiltered, free-associated thoughts I wrote down while tripping. I recommend skimming it, as only a few passages are worthy of keeping, but I am including all of it for a wholistic stream-of-consciousness (note: 'fungus' refers to the exponential human population growth on this planet since the industrial revolution):
<br>
<br>
<br>
'ahhh, a further degree of technological relation. self to self! mode: conscious express uninhibited happening.
<br>
<br>
flowing through. pulsating. everything is electric! electrified!
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<br>
To think that this existence, this ability to sit around and take acid, to mobble bobble, all this free time, to think its based off of the industrial revolution....the pillaging and raping of the earth...the species dying, the population rising, two roads cut through like dirt on this computer screen, cringing at my being, two roads cut through what should be all unified grass and green... oh civilization is a strange thing.
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<br>
Somehow, it really HIT IT when we got MACHINES to start doing the WORK. WooooooW, we can't sustain this shit man! the earth is getting fucked! (resemblence of holding onto consciousness, no but let it go. ability to express clear. functionability. clear. (why delete anything)
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<br>
up against all this political stuff, yes i'll put fourth my part to change, but i also can't help but feel that i am like a fungus, a colonizing force meant to choke this planet of life yet somehow fully realized and capable of doing it
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blaahaahhahhhahahahh!!! fuck the industrial blah. throw up. blah. FUCK THIS CITY.
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<br>
FUCK <!--COLORADO SPRINGS--> THIS CITY. BASED COMPLETELY OFF POLLUTING CARS. UGLY CARS. CARS THAT CUT THROUGH MY SPACE. CARS THAT CUT OFF THE TREES. CARS THAT MOVE AT GREATER SPEEDS, GOING TO DISTANT UNKNOWN COLD EFFICIENT LOCATIONS, than any human being walking relaxed in harmon;soiefjsa;lifh
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<br>
beauty is all around us.
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<br>
all around us.
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all around us.
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psychadelic drugs are worth our time and contemplation.
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we need to accept the current levels of global pollution are necessary to sustain the current levels of population. gotta fuck less.
<br>
<br>
get crazy after while in city.
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<br>
nasty. gritty. grimey. pollution. blah.. blah...blahh....
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<br>
hey sustainable technology used for GOOD CAUSES. like this computer and the internet. but wait. i'm connected to the fungus again.
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<br>
if you might as well just shoot yourself to stop the fungus spreading on the earth and choking it of all its life, then BOOM LIFE IS MEANINGLESS AND ABSURD.
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<br>
what happened to the music man?
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<br>
HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY NOT BE THE FUNGUS IN A FUNGUS WORLD!?!?!?!? FUN GUS!!!
<br>
<br>
well, you can eat local only waht your hands have put in on \produce takt eh tiem to walk places or even bike yeah okay
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<br>
STOP BEING THE FUNGUS STOP THE FUNGUS STOP THE FUNGUS STOP THE FUNGUS STOP THE FUNGUS STOP THE FUNGUS
<br>
<br>
bounce bounce bounce!!!
<br>
WE GOTTA STOP THE FUNGUS ON THE PLANET ATAAAHAHHH! F UNGUS ON MY SKIN!!! HS;LFKHJASG;LHASDF;LJASG;LASHF;LSDJADSDOIHSA;FLJ!
<br>
<br>
lost lost lost
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<br>
wonder how long you'd stay dead in this room? before they discovered your body.
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LOST IS THE CITY!
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lesser population timeless evolution social quality interaction
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<br>
simply having fewer people around to get to know, or having to relate again and again in a community to the same peop
<br>
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when we're all kids we're running around making sense making sense hahahaha IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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<br>
looking back over
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I WANT OUT! I WANT OUT OF THE SYSTEM!
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free everyone in the street
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YOU CHOOSE you choose you choose information overload information overload YOU CHOOSE YOU CHOOSE (that sounds exquisitely robotic - FUNGUS!)s
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<br>
reflecting from a slightly less enlightened? (not inebriated, not intoxicated, no, just wanting to run nonsense and play, throw big balloons against the wall). loss of ego during this experience was to human/population growth, colonizing the planet like a 'fungus.' (industrial revolution is the innoculation (on a human population vs time graph, we start to show unrestricted growth right after the late 1700's to mid 1800's). quite a nasty greater-ego. felt helpless, and therefore figured life is meaningless, as no matter what i do, civilization will continue doing its thing.
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<br>
BUT THERE ARE WRITERS SPEAKING UP EVERYWEHRE! COURAGE IS COMING FROM EVERYWHERE! YOU NEED TO SAVE THIS PLANET! (ah, returning to self)
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<br>
but you're surrounded with consumer shit, everywehre, and you're not living according to your beliefs.
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you are not living according to your beliefs.
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<br>
keep pressing as you are, but PROMISE YOU WILL CHANGE my friend, after this degree, you will forevermore LIVE BY YOUR BELIEFS FULLY. (to continue meaningless fungal force is to live DEAD (by golly that's what a fungus!))
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<br>
uplifting. uplifting.
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need to change asap. asap.???
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no. its fine.
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<br>
simply no more acid until fully living according to beliefs?
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<br>
ideally, this stuff should be taken in a space of FREEDOM!!!!!!!'<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2008</td><td width="90">ExpID: 74840</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 24, 2019</td><td>Views: 981</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=74840&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=74840&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Combinations (3), Difficult Experiences (5), Bad Trips (6), Unknown Context (20)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">30 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/mirtazapine/">Pharms - Mirtazapine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(daily)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/buprenorphine/">Pharms - Buprenorphine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(daily)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 oz</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Beer/Wine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(daily)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/carisoprodol/">Pharms - Carisoprodol</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 7:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">5 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/zolpidem/">Pharms - Zolpidem</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 15:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">6 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/alprazolam/">Pharms - Alprazolam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 19:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">6 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/alprazolam/">Pharms - Alprazolam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">200 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
LSD Remeron Disaster
<br>
<br>
While there is documentation on the interactions of SSRIs, tricylcic antidepressants, and lithium with the usage of LSD, not much exists in the line of research of personal experience indicating that Remeron, a tetracyclic anti-depressant could cause problems. Now I am not sure that there was a specific interaction and have even read some research that Remeron can stop a trip, however the experience was such that I felt a report was merited.
<br>
<br>
I am diagnosed with major depressive disorder and am on a stable dose of Remeron (30mg) which I take once in the evening. Standard dose was taken around 1AM in the morning with no unusual side effects, just the oh so drowsy feeling that is typical with the drug, hence the evening dosage. I have previously taken LSD on Lexapro and had no issues. I did my research and decided to skip the evening dose, but I assume that the Remeron was still in my system.
<br>
<br>
I also want to state that I am on Subutex (4mgs) therapy for an ongoing issue with opioid dependence. Due to my appointment being a few days later than my script was able to hold me I had no taken the drug in three days or so. No noticeable opioid withdrawal effects were occurring and I have found that at this point in my Subutex treatment that it takes approximately 5-6 days for any symptoms to present. Again, I mention this due to the long half life of the drug.
<br>
<br>
LSD was consumed around 10PM the next evening. I consumed a very negligible amount of beer, perhaps 1/3 of a 12oz bottle and noticed slight nausea setting in. After one hour no desirable effects were felt from the acid by me and my friend. We were watching a DVD streamed off of Netflix and it was difficult to discern if we were seeing some slight visual distortion or perhaps it was just video quality. Assuming it was weak blotter, we each consumed another hit.
<br>
<br>
At this point things took a turn for the worse for me. Waves of nauseau set in. My friend felt amped and a little jaggy from the come-up, but I was starting to get severe dry heaves. I hadn't eaten anything in several hours and was only throwing up what I suspect to be a combo of bile, stomach acid, and mucous. My legs started getting twitchy at this point. Each of us took a Soma to attempt to chill out. Soma is something I am regularly prescribed and have never had such reaction to. The stomach irritation increased and the twitchiness in my legs exacerbated into full blown muscle spasms. In addition to the spasms, I experienced an akathesia type reaction from the knees down. I can only describe it as the most unpleasant, restless sensation. My legs felt like the bones themselves were itching and could not sit still. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">My legs felt like the bones themselves were itching and could not sit still.</div></div> I would have frequent jerks and twitches where one leg or both would just kick out as if pulled by puppet strings.
<br>
<br>
At this point I informed my friend I was really not doing well. We turned off the movie, smoked a bowl, and he did what he could to provide comfort and emotional support. However it was back to the bathroom for more dry heaving. I noticed that even 2 hours and two hits into the night there was no pupil dilation in either of us. While sitting on the bathroom floor I began to get mild visuals, a blurry and disorienting disturbance in my field of vision. Absolutely no euphoria was felt.
<br>
<br>
Generally I find acid to be fun as well as deeply thought provoking. There were no such mental effects. Everything was closed in and focused strictly on my physical symptoms. Pain in the legs was reaching the point of becoming absolutely unbearable. My friend administered massage and could feel the muscles tensing up and contracting in my calves. He convinced me to try and walk it off to see if that would mitigate the pain. With his help I was able to stand up and walk around the house a bit. I essentially felt like I was having a non-stop charlie horse. My mood took a turn for the somewhat angry and I maintained vigilant watch over my vitals.
<br>
<br>
At three hours, the stomach discomfort tapered off to a nominal, but still noticeably level. The cramping and pain in the legs diminished in terms of the akathesia/restless leg syndrome type reaction and strictly went into a state of sheer pain. Mental state still remained hyper vigilant and focused on just getting through. At several points I considered just going to the hospital the pain was so bad and I wanted to abort whatever trip I was on at any cost. Given the fact though that other than the pain everything else was relatively normal, I decided to wait to see if the symptoms would dissipate. Note that during this period my friend was experiencing no such symptoms other than the slight onset of a trip. In fact, he smoked even more pot than I and reported feeling pretty good, though upset I was having such a rough time.
<br>
<br>
Approximately four hours in the pain reduced dramatically. I could not speak and could only mutter 'huh' and 'what' while making feeble attempts to gesticulate. I was obviously on something but it had none of the characteristic hallmarks of an LSD trip. If anything it reminded me of a time I accidentally took too much Benedryl in an attempt to get to sleep. Wavey field of vision, delirium and hardly desirable.
<br>
<br>
With the sunrise rapidly approaching and not being fond of day tripping, and certainly not fond of this experience it was time to call it a night. At this point, we each took a 5mg Ambien and decided to lay down. Felt normal enough to fool around a bit and my friend was able to sleep. I was still amped up and additionally began to experience awful bouts of sweating, followed by chills. My legs were still occasionally spasming and I was feeling residual pain due to the duration, intensity, and severity of the leg cramps from earlier in the experience.
<br>
<br>
I experienced mild visual distortion until about 1pm that following afternoon. At this point I was on a mission for benzodiazapines and sleep. I tracked down some Xanax and immediately took 6 milligrams. After it kicked in I no longer had any residual visual distortion. I was able to hold down water and begin re-hydrating. Four hours later I took another 6 milligrams of Xanax and went to bed.
<br>
<br>
The next morning I felt fine mentally and was able to resume eating normally. However, at the time of this writing, 8 days after tripping, the pain in my legs has remained <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">8 days after tripping, the pain in my legs has remained</div></div>. I did resume my Subutex therapy so I am sure the leg pain is not from any sort of withdrawal type symptom. Really the only way I can sum the experience up is that it felt like I had taken poison. Perhaps I just got really unlucky with side effects, the drugs were not pure, or there was an interaction. There is really no way of knowing at this point. However, I would caution those on Remeron or other psychiatric medication to consider mixing your therapeutic medication with your recreational medication. In retrospect I probably should have sought some sort of medical attention because the pain really was absolutely unbearable and I am sure indicative of a very undesirable response. I acted irresponsibly consuming the drugs without doing much research prior, though a few weeks prior had no problem taking psylocibin mushrooms and my standard medication.
<br>
<br>
Again, as to what occurred, I can only speculate, but proceed with caution as always.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2010</td><td width="90">ExpID: 91482</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 28</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 3, 2019</td><td>Views: 1,574</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=91482&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=91482&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Depression (15), Health Problems (27), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
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<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
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<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">105 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I have always been a spacey and whimsical sort of person, and LSD (although illegal and potentially dangerous) had always been a fascination for me, even at a young age. I knew it was something wanted to try. After copious amounts of research and reading, I decided to tell my brother (who was experienced in these matters) that I wanted to try acid sometime over the summer, when I wouldn’t have to worry about anything. He agreed to help me and we decided to wait for the perfect time to come.
<br>
<br>
Here’s some of my past information: I had been smoking cannabis for about 6 months before my experience, on a fairly regular basis, as it had become a cure for my deep suicidal depression and social anxiety that I had been in for the previous two years.
<br>
<br>
When the perfect time arrived, we were ready. We had heard particularly good things about this batch, and I was excited, happy, and bubbly, careful not to let any negative emotions slip in and taint my mindset. I was very focused on not having a bad trip, and I felt safe taking LSD with my head in a positive place. I felt only good things could come.
<br>
<br>
My brother and I dropped (1 hit each) together around 4pm at a safe mutual friend’s house and walked towards the ocean and a large secluded park. This park was a place I was very familiar with, and the place we settled down in was the spot where we would often go to smoke cannabis. After about 10 minutes into our walk I began to feel a strong metallic taste in the back of my mouth, in between my tongue and teeth. The walk was more or less uneventful, but by the time we reached the park (approximately 40 minutes later) the ground started to shudder around my feet, and the field of dry grass looked beautifully golden. The afternoon fog was just starting to roll in, and it looked like the sky was lit up by a lavender blacklight, making the high fog simply glow. I was lost in a strange and beautiful world. I didn’t talk much, but I remember asking my brother multiple times “where is we?” I knew exactly where we were, but I meant this other place, with the blacklight sky. He didn’t understand, and would repeat the name of the park instead. My body felt tense but delicious at the same time.
<br>
<br>
When we arrived to our spot (at this point it had been about an hour) I was peaking, and my brother pulled out a pipe and a sack of the healing herb (cannabis). My peak became a blur, almost like stop motion, of smoke and laughing and intense hallucinations. I remember feeling like I was riding the edge of a huge gulf of fire-energy, pulling strings for the perfect balance, feeling the joy and the power fill my body when I was successful. Looking at my brother’s face for a while, I saw the stars and flames and another world in his eyes. I could see him in profile and front view at the same time. His curly hair was whisping into feathers, and his eyes grew large, and he became an owl-man, with the pipe of knowledge in his hands, which I hardly remember smoking.
<br>
<br>
Suddenly, these men started walking through our spot, to settle at a nearby spot where they could see us (this is about 2.5 hours in to our trip). We immediately knew they were tweakers, and got really scared when more and more kept showing up. Feeling unsafe and watched (this was the only negative feeling of the whole trip, but this was a downside), we left to go to a new spot, where my owl-brother and I connected with our fellow tripping friends (they had dropped a few hours earlier and went surfing) via phone. They called my phone first (the more reliable one) and I got so confused and thought the phone was so silly my brother had to take it for me. We met up with them and ran around by the beach, having silly tripping adventures for a few hours. I could tell who was on acid because they were all owls. In fact, while we were walking around, I saw another owl man, and we had a brief moment of connection as he passed; the connection of the owls.
<br>
<br>
So the night went, but by 3.5 hours most of my visuals were gone (except for the blacklight sky and the owls, that stayed the whole time).
<br>
<br>
The next morning (after a fitful night of contemplative introspective sleep) we returned to the house we were staying at with huge soft beds and slept a beautiful sleep for some time. My brother and I reflected on our trips (he commented that the LSD was the strongest 1 hit he had ever done) and decided that this was an overall positive experience. Looking back, I would rather have peaked in a more private spot, not somewhere with public access, and maybe with music. Nonetheless, something I enjoyed, and something I will enjoy again.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2009</td><td width="90">ExpID: 81486</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 16</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 30, 2019</td><td>Views: 827</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=81486&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=81486&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
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<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
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<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Of the Greatest Experiences of My Life...
<br>
<br>
My whole life I have been increasingly fascinated by drugs, more so lately psychedelics. I knew for my 18th birthday, I wanted to trip. Acid seemed like the perfect thing to me. I've had some expirience with drugs before this including: mass amounts of weed, hyrdocodone, oxycodone, dabbled in cocaine.
<br>
<br>
It was a friday night and I had three friends along with me on this excursion. We had to pick it up from a friend of a friends work and he put the liquid on sweet tarts candy. We waited a while to take it due to anxiety. I wanted to take it all together when we all felt comfortable. Once we all took it, I immediatley felt jittery and excited. After about a hour and a half we still were not feeling any different. Maybe a slight body high, but it could've been a placebo effect. We called the person we bought it from and he was concerned because that night several people took the same batch and were tripping just fine. But he agreed to give us another dose. We went back to one of my friends (who were also tripping) and set up her room with all different lights and some amazing dubstep to set the mood (kind of like a sanctuary of only colorful lights and music).
<br>
<br>
When we went back to get our 2nd dose, we were to bring one back for a friend. The acid was placed on a tortilla chip. And we took a really long time to bring it back, we were in a frenzy of weed and hookah smoking. We were calling the person the chip was for for a few hours and he never called us back. (probably due to our extensive absence.) and since it was my birthday, my friends let me take the third hit.
<br>
<br>
****ACTUAL EXPERIENCE
<br>
This acid turned out to be somewhat mild<!-- compared to previous batches-->.
<br>
It started off when we all went outside, layed in the middle of the street and looked up at the moon, stars, and clouds.. Everything just seemed so much more meaningful. Everything had a purpose and everything was beautiful. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Everything just seemed so much more meaningful. Everything had a purpose and everything was beautiful.</div></div> We went inside probably about an hour later and we all became very talkative.
<br>
<br>
I preceeded to use the bathroom, the persons house I was in had clouds painted on the bathroom walls and they were moving, and the walls were breathing. I looked over at her magazines and on one of them Eva Longoria was on the front in a red bikini. She looked extremely menacing and her eyes were red. But for some reason I wasnt afraid.
<br>
<br>
I looked in the mirror, and for the first time in my whole life, I SAW MYSELF...every line on my face, every pore. But when I looked at myself and saw my gestures in the mirror I felt very disconnected to it (my body). When I blinked, or breathed, or moved it felt irrelevant. I realized right then, I have a spirit, and I have a soul. And our bodies are temporary and meaningless.
<br>
<br>
After I left I went into our light sanctuary. I layed on the floor and found this crystal ball with lights in it and set it on top of my head and gazed into it. I saw every shape and pattern as individuals. Short after, my friends joined me and we were all arguing about whos turn it was to look inside the ball.
<br>
<br>
We all got up and went into the kitchen and were talknig. Everything was SOOOO FUNNY!!! My friends mom had a chicken defrosting in the sink and we all thought it would be a good idea to take out aggression and beat up the chicken (dont ask me).
<br>
<br>
We live like 2 minutes from the beach and decided to go watch the sunrise even though there was a good two hours before the sun was to come up and its the middle of January...needless to say it was cold. We sat on the edge of the pier and gazed out at the water. It looked like the earth was being swallowed over and over again because water doesn't look like water at night. Once the sun was about to come up we moved over to the rocks facing the east. We looked out towards the sea and I knew that there is more than just earth. The universe is limitless and profound. I knew right then (and I've been struggling with this concept immensely prior to this event) that there was no doubt in my mind a god. I dont know yet if its the traditional 'Christianity' god, but I know I have a creator.
<br>
<br>
After tripping for a good 13 hours we preceded to smoke some weed to fall into a sleepy state. It was perfect to mellow out before sleeping.
<br>
<br>
All in all it was in the top 2 best experiences I've ever had. Maybe even number one. Because for the first time in my life I felt 100% safe, tranquil, and content. And for the first time I saw the world and myself for who they really are.
<br>
<br>
** I didnt exactly hallucinate except for the walls and Eva Longoria<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2011</td><td width="90">ExpID: 89643</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 17</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 11, 2019</td><td>Views: 778</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=89643&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=89643&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/alprazolam/">Pharms - Alprazolam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(tea)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 24:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dmt/">DMT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I went camping with my friends R, H, and G at Leo Carrillo in Malibu. It definitely was a spiritual journey. I learned that love is life is God, everything is connected through a consciousness that relies on love, and that life is just the way it’s supposed to be; with all of it’s downfalls, it is perfect.
<br>
<br>
We took the acid in the early afternoon. It was my first time taking acid, so I took 1 tab, my friend H took 1, R took 2, and G took 4. It was sunny and mild and we were all lying in the sun, taking our time, drinking our tea, waking up. The first realization I had was when I was gazing at the tall, sunny, bird-filled trees. I saw a few crows that which gave me bad omens, but there was also a flock of loud colorful green parrots which gave me good omens about the trip I was about to have. I looked up into the sky and saw a high flying seagull, which reassured me that it was all ok.
<br>
<br>
Anyways, as I said, I was gazing at the large pretty green sycamore tree and it suddenly appeared much more alive than I have ever noticed before. I showed the tree love and I received love. I realized that everything was connected, the people, the trees, the grass, mountains, dirt, flowers, all through a consciousness that relies on love, which I will call God.
<br>
<br>
We walked across the road to the beach. Everything was so beautiful, it was like looking through a shiny glass. There was a certain watery white shine to everything. We stepped onto the beach, and it was almost nostalgic. Everybody was on the beach together; everybody was family. There were children playing, and people sitting on blankets. We ran along in the shallow water, swirling around, continuing its energy.
<br>
<br>
Eventually R and I swam out deeper into the water with all of our clothes on. So cleansing, so refreshing, so relieving; I couldn’t stop smiling, I had to laugh and cry. R and I were laughing together with the waves, and she pointed behind me and said, “Watch out, there’s a wave behind you!” I laughed as it washed over me. I was experiencing the truest beauty of life and love towards R and the ocean. The ocean reminded me of life. Some of the waves sent me swirling more than others, some sent me farther off, and right before we got out of the ocean the waves became so gigantic an powerful. The huge waves reminded me of the power of the earth and all of the energy that flows.
<br>
<br>
I looked up at my friend R’s face, and I remember feeling like she was the most beautiful person on the earth. The colors of her dress blended in with the sky, and her robust brown eyes shone like stones. The sky was 1 million shades of blue.
<br>
<br>
I experience social anxiety, and it was still definitely apparent at this point into the trip. I read too deeply into things that I should have been able to brush off, and made it uncomfortable between myself and this group of guys. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I read too deeply into things that I should have been able to brush off, and made it uncomfortable between myself and this group of guys.</div></div> I didn’t know how to make it better. The perfect metaphor at the time was having sand all over me and not being able to get it off. I took some Xanax. My friend’s H and R were understanding of my situation, and helped me through it with kind hearts, but G didn’t. He is deaf, and before I haven’t explained how this happens to me sometimes. He abandoned me with a cold heart. He told the others that he wished he could make a movie so he could show me what I was doing wrong. He said, “everything is yours.” It made me upset. The way back wasn’t as bright. I dislike him truly now but I still love him because he is my friend.
<br>
So we got over that.
<br>
<br>
We got back to camp, and there we met some hippy people who were also on acid who came into our camp and hung out a bit. I really wish I could have been over my coldness and been able to seem normal and friendly, but they understood to a degree. Hippy guy J told me that once I get into the habit of not talking it’s hard to break. I was walking in circles around the camp and said, “I don’t know what I’m looking for.” They said, “whatever it is, we have extra.” <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">“I don’t know what I’m looking for.” They said, “whatever it is, we have extra.”</div></div> J and I looked into each other’s faces as we spoke. He asked me what I liked to do, and I showed him some of my drawings. He said just keep on drawing, but you probably won’t die rich from doing it. He told me that I was good-looking and that life will be easy for me, he said has to walk around his whole life looking like a skeleton. He said he had probably just given me the worst advice ever, but whatever! I feel like I had known those beautiful people, or met them somewhere before. Maybe in a dream. They left to hike without us because we were taking too long to go with them. We hung around camp. My friend cried and was able to feel suppressed feelings from her past. Our other friends came and set up camp and all was well.
<br>
<br>
When it became nighttime, we sat and stood around the campsite some of us including myself, drinking mushroom tea. For most of my mushroom experience, I was leaning over the fire pit of burning embers. I spoke to them, I told them I loved them and they got brighter, I told them they were dying and that it was ok. I was there with them to appreciate them and watch them pass. I looked into the face of death, and he told me that dying is just a part of life. And that life is perfect. My friends K and B were in their tent giggling, which made me giggle, which made them laugh, which made me laugh. Many times this hysterical laughter happened. Looking back on it I feel bad about it because it was around 2 in the morning and other campers were trying to sleep. Oh well.
<br>
<br>
At one point, while I was climbing into the tent, I became aware of my body, and let go of some of my ego. I go both ways about my physical appearance at times, but then I realized that it really doesn’t matter. G was making me feel bad about my problem, about his problems, and he told me that we live in a world of shit. I believed him for a while, so I cried and it felt good.
<br>
<br>
Looking back, I believe that the crows I saw symbolized the social anxiety parts of the trip, and the high flying seagull said to me that it was all ok anyways. This reinforces my belief that life is perfect, including all of its downfalls, because that is the way it is supposed to be.
<br>
<br>
The next morning, R and I smoked DMT at the beach. That was my final psychedelic experience. I really feel like I experienced the meaning of life, which is love. I loved the ocean, I loved the birds, I loved my friends. Everything was connected. The ocean made a strange electrical buzzing sound. I had a deeply intense feeling of love, happiness, and it was also sort of melancholy because I realized that all things pass. As the drug wore off, we walked back to the car. I turned to the ocean one last time and said goodbye, to the ocean, to the spirit of the drugs which had helped me see things through a new perspective, and to the whole trip. And then, we were on our way.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2014</td><td width="90">ExpID: 102436</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 4, 2019</td><td>Views: 944</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=102436&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=102436&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Nature / Outdoors (23), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
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<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">85 kg</td>
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<!-- Start Body -->
The Night I Accidently did <!--1200mics-->4 tabs
<br>
<br>
Prelude
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The experience was amazing, scary, exciting and definitely life changing. I spoke about my LSD experience with a couple of good mates. Excited to tell them what happened that night I soon learnt I need to choose who I tell carefully. I feel it shocked and scared them and I think it affected our relationship negatively from then on. They struggled to comprehend or understand what I was telling them. I think it shook some core ideals and life beliefs. They are good mates who know who I am as a person and know what I told them actually happened to me and I think this is why it scared them so much.
<br>
<br>
It has been nearly 4yrs since it occurred, I still remember it well but the emotional connection has lessened over time. For a long time just remembering it and talking about it brought back all the emotions I felt during the trip <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">For a long time just remembering it and talking about it brought back all the emotions I felt during the trip</div></div> like I was there all over again. I think that is also why it scared my friends they could see and feel my emotional connection as I told them. They saw how real it was for me. I can still see their faces stunned lost for words and struggling to process what I was telling them, unsure how to feel about it and not sure what to say afterwards. Eyes wide open lost and confused.
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<br>
I think I am a rational thinking person quite level headed in most situations, I also consider myself quite mentally resilient a positive thinker with some self-belief. I have an open mind to lots of different concepts and ideas of what life and reality is both scientific and religiously. I think the mind has more power than we know and psychedelics could be a key. I did not know a lot about LSD just that it connected and expanded your mind and perception of reality. I also thought it to be possible to control the trip to some extent. Do and be whatever I want. Maybe even think about things and find an answer or understand what I couldn’t before. A short cut to a controlled meditation journey of personal discovery where there are no boundaries and endless possibilities. This is something I was keen to try and do if I got the chance.
<br>
<br>
Well I got the chance all right……... down the rabbit whole I would go thinking I was a real super hero only to find out I was like a child in a costume playing super heroes. Unaware of what I was doing, where it was I was playing my game and that the big kids would soon teach me where I was.
<br>
<br>
LSD isn’t something I came across very often and was usually not in very high doses. So, I would take the opportunity when it came along. I had tried LSD a few times before the night that I am about to talk to you about. First trip I ever did was mild couple of little visuals nothing exciting it did open my way of thinking a little as well nothing exciting. Others I took had also been like this, some a little stronger. TABS - 20 mics- threshold. Some slight euphoria and body high.
<br>
<br>
However, the next time I did LSD was with a good mate one Christmas eve and my first real trip. Had lots of visuals that made my surroundings change colours, melting and morphing of surroundings as well as lots and lots of laughing and more laughing. Also, some strange but good experiences that occurred. Like feeling stuck in the mirror trying to work out which side I was meant to be on. My friend finally found me and yanked me out when I told him what was happening. I marked the kitchen tiles with a cross using a texter because they were shuffle boarding around so I was trying to track them. And lots more things during the 5hr trip. Was left feeling exhausted but very excited and exhilarated by the whole experience at the end it was all good fun. SUGAR CUBE - 110 mics- A hit of some really good LSD. Visuals are getting a lot more obvious now. "Ripples" over laying my field of vision. Patterns from all different cultures seen on walls, surfaces, faces etc. Closed eye hallucinations become more apparent.
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<br>
The night I did <!--1200mics-->4 tabs of LSD
<br>
The night was like most nights at home with my wife and 2 young kids. The phone rang it was one of my best mates I have known since high school, call him “J”. Hey bro got some wicked acid if your interested man. 2 Tabs and you will be flying bro and hugging the unicorns. I thought yeah ok why not its only 8- 830 on the weekend. Would love to trip like I did xmas eve again.
<br>
<br>
A little excited I headed around to mates place he was at. I knew the 2 guys who lived there and got along with them well. When I got there the house had about 3 people I didn’t know at all and they were all tripping pretty hard! Have been for a couple of hours. J was also tripping but still holding a coherent conversation with me. Everyone in the house was pretty high after dropping 2 tabs. J gave me a bag and told me to tear away 2 tabs. I looked at the sheet saw the perforated lines running down. J said 2 are yours 1 is mine. I saw 2 perforated lines 3 tabs. Knowing I shouldn’t touch them with my fingers I tore them apart in the bag. Pulling down one of the lines leaving my 2 joined and his separated. I pulled my 2 out and put them under my tongue and gave J back the bag. He walked off while I sat on the couch letting the tabs dissolve under my tongue. I was watching the others in the house. One mate is walking around the house stopping leaning on his front foot lifting his back leg pointing at people randomly while dropping the words “Naaahhrrrnn Bread.” Another guy is sitting at the end of the couch in his own world I didn’t know him. Had one mate next to me talking random stuff to me about his day telling me to get ready to trip hard he was just starting to come down after having 2.
<br>
<br>
It had been about 5 mins tabs were mush and I had just swallowed them and waiting for them to start. J comes back into the lounge room straight up to me and says urgently, bro how many did you have holding out the bag I said 2 as I pointed to his saying that’s yours there. He stood up looked at me and said man there is 2 there. Wholly shit man you have just taken 4 Tabs. I said no there is the line I tore down your tripping man I had 2. To which J replied man there is a line running the other way in the middle look. As I looked closely I could just see the other perforated line running across the middle of the rectangle making 2 squares. Wholly shit bro you just had 4 of these tabs wholly fuck man!!!! Get ready you are in for a big night. By this time the others heard what we were talking about and responded just like J did. Still tripping but on the way down knowing how hard they had just tripped on 2 were all in disbelief I had just taken 4 and said to me your fucked holly shit….. Wow get ready man……... holly shit gets ready. I thought to myself not many people I knew had tripped like I did xmas eve. And normally tabs are not as good as people say they are so I thought and then replied it’s all good I will be fine I have tripped hard before. To which they all replied Nah man get ready. I shrugged and said oh well to late now. So, I sat back and waited.
<br>
<br>
J came and sat next to me and asked how I was doing. Good I am starting to feel it now the room is feeling different. By this time my other mate was back to randomly dropping the words Naahhrrnn Bread again and everyone went back to doing their own thing again. I was starting to see things differently and starting to comment on things and began being a little bit obnoxious, starting to get louder. I felt like I wasn’t part of the group and they were annoyed with me being here especially the guys I didn’t really know. They were on the way down and I was heading up. I looked over to the guy sitting on the edge of couch. He had long ginger hair and a bushy ginger beard. All I saw was Dr Zaius from planet of the apes. He morphed into Dr Zaius right in front of me. I nudge J next to me and said man I think its kicking in bro. Hey Is that Dr Zaius on the couch bro. J laughed as I sang the song Dr Zaius, Dr Zaius. I was now seeing things in the room begin to change and morph. I started asking J about things I was seeing as if to confirm I was tripping. Things started moving and changing colours. J asked how I was going? looking concerned I could tell he was keeping an eye on me. I told him I was ok and I was starting to trip. The others wanted to turn off the lights turn up the LSD trip music with the TV playing geometric shapes and colours. I was just starting to see stuff in the room melt and change and wanted to keep the light on so I could see it more and interact with them. But they were ready to relax and watch the colours as they came down. The lights soon turned off music a little louder.
<br>
<br>
I sat back into the couch and took a moment to assess myself and the effects. I was well and truly starting to feel it. I thought I need to settle in I felt it was building so I repositioned myself and really got myself settled in a comfortable sitting position on the couch. The bright colours moving and changing on the walls from the tv playing a LSD trans music video really kicked in the visuals. Colours got bright and vivid moving and forming shapes. I soon closed my eyes to not watch the lights. I felt I had a dry mouth and needed a drink, I opened eyes and asked for one the room rushed past as my eyes closed again. I had a drink I think?????? I soon got a rotten taste in my mouth it tasted disgusting. Opening my eyes, I was not able to see the room or my body in front of me. No matter how much I moved my head around trying to see the couch or J next to me nothing. My body feels the couch I’m sitting on and the lounge room it’s in. I can feel the space of the room but not view it or hear it. I wondered if I had just drunk from ashtray or can with cigarette butts in it????? Confused??? Thoughts of my body interacting in the lounge room from a third person view I saw me chewing horrible things from around the room. I then thought I need some chewing gum I started chewing it was like I was chewing on something rotten. I started thinking if the others were messing with me or if I was eating things not edible and being that weird guy in the room. My mouth felt very real texture while chewing with a very strong bad taste. This passed by quickly. I now saw a room again it was dark, music was loud I’m in a nightclub lounge with neon lighting effect. I could feel something had changed? I noticed it was that it not only looked different it no longer felt like mate’s lounge room. This all happened within 20min it pretty much went from reality to some slight visuals to reality gone.
<br>
<br>
I was gathering myself and accepting the new room I was now in. I could hear the others making comments like, I need to settle down, Yeah, he is messing this place up hope he figures it out soon. It took me back for a moment. As I started to look around where I was the room became more focused. I was there now I could see 3 people from in the house. Ok you are here with us now settle down and enjoy being here one voice said in a relieved way. It came from my right. It was the guy at the end of the couch. I felt it was still the same people in the house but they were different now they felt more real and I could feel their emotion projected onto me. I felt to be meeting the higher consciousness state of them also I could feel their emotional state of annoyance but then acceptance and happy. If you can project your emotion to someone they soon understand and stop. When you interact based on emotion you can feel the intent behind the interaction meaning you don’t wonder if a comment or action was done in a nice or bad way because you can feel their emotion when they do. Even though they were saying negative type comments I didn’t feel judgment from them it was from kindness <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Even though they were saying negative type comments I didn’t feel judgment from them it was from kindness</div></div>. I was not hung up on social norms or insecurities, the fake show we all put on is gone this is why I felt it was the real them. Even though music was on I realized how clearly, I could hear them over the music while on the other side of the room. This place was nice but they wanted to just sit in this space and be left alone. Conscious interaction with other people and the clarity of the room and sound was perfect and I was able to isolate and pick up a noise across the room like headphones. They kept going about with what they were doing before I got there. I didn’t really interact with them at all they were not interested.
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<br>
I looked at the room giving it more attention. It had no doors it felt like a small retro night club lounge lite up in neon club lights. It felt like it was its own place with nothing outside the room but an empty void. I remember thinking wow this is amazing. Am I really in this place I ask myself? I feel like I have arrived somewhere. I now understand I have left my reality and I feel different? Strong not physical body strong, my being. I had projection of a me but it didn’t feel any weight on it or interaction from room like a breeze or temperature. I realize where I am and have grasped what is happening and it was incredible.
<br>
<br>
OK now it’s time to play I thought what can I do in this place. Feeling this energy about myself I thought how strong I might be and what I can do. I stood up and sort of prepared myself to muscle flex I guess is best way to describe it. Exert my energy of self-outwards. I built up and released. A huge energy shockwave pulsed out of me and the room bulged out around me as I flexed and then came back in as I relaxed. Holly shit I couldn’t believe that just happened. It was like realizing I have super powers. Still in awe of what I had just done so excited. I started to realized how much power I might have. I barely exerted myself. This place felt like I had found the real me and my reality is a show shutting all this off. I thought wow is this what we truly are. I felt excited and really happy still grasping with what was happening and accepting it yet not afraid in any way. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I felt excited and really happy still grasping with what was happening and accepting it yet not afraid in any way.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
I was now feeling strong and centred as I stood there embracing the moment and this feeling. I heard this voice, He thinks he is powerful have a look at him. This was followed by sniggering and laughs. I look across the room and see these dark figures standing around a table in a dark corner looking over at me talking about me being intimidating. I now notice I am in a completely new room. I was standing at a bar by myself no one else was there except me and the entities in the corner. This room was like a VIP room or a nightclub owners room. For a couple of minutes, they messed with me being a little friendly then insult me. I was starting to feel intimidated and not sure what to do. Then I said to myself no I won’t be intimidated, I wouldn’t let that happen in my reality so I ignored them.
<br>
<br>
I stood up proud and faced them. This didn’t go down well. The figure that seemed the ring leader of the group crossed the room towards me in a sort of shadowing motion appearing then disappearing crossing the room in 4 motions finally appearing in front of me. He was an evil looking person. He had slicked back black receding hair, a sharp pointy face and nose with 2 little thin moustaches. He was thin and hunched over a little wearing a silk smoker’s jacket. He said to me, you think you are strong and in control. Yeah, I replied. You’re not in control. He had this ability to be nasty but then he would be nice and I would see him as nice. I did not care about the threats or intimidation from him like it didn’t happen. Come with me he said I will show you something. I started following him. Then all of a sudden, I was seeing myself from an outside view but was feeling and experiencing as the me I was watching. Understand what I am saying? You ready this is when people freak out!!! I feel so happy enjoying what I was doing. I started to come back like I had been removed and no memory after following him to now. I become aware and back in my body I see what I am doing I was naked slicing through a body's abdomen with a butcher’s knife covered in blood. I look around to see butchered bodies and blood everywhere standing amongst them the evil man also naked covered in blood laughing hysterically. I started trying to process what has happened in disbelief I had done this and I felt the enjoyment I had. Then it hit me the realisation at the possibility that I may have just tripped out and killed everyone in the house. Hoping I had not done this a news story plays out in my head. A man on acid has killed and butchered 6 people. Found covered in blood wandering the streets. No way, I said. It didn’t happen they are ok. I was instantly back in the retro night club lounge. The other oblivious still doing them.
<br>
<br>
All I wanted to do was get back into that room with them. It took a little while to calm down and get back to that room. Finally, I was standing at the bar again, I hear them all laughing at me. Telling me I’m a puppet and they are in control. Again, the evil guy appears in front of me being all nice again and eventually says come over here. I told him I’m not going anywhere with you and he will never do that to me again. He vanished back to the table at the back of the group.
<br>
<br>
They all start telling me its ok we are just playing with you its ok come on your ok. Another figure crosses the room becoming a rich gangster wearing gold jewellery, purple pimp suit and a fur coat and hat to match. He talks to me and before I know it, I am driving in a Ferrari going to parties living large. Feels like a couple of months had gone by of me living this way. I finally stop and say I don’t want this, this is not what’s important to me not while I'm in the place. Bang back in the retro lounge room. It doesn’t take me very long to get back to that room this time. Again, they snigger and are being all smug. See we are the ones in control. I had a thought maybe people like Brittney Spears other celebrities and people that started behaving strangely it was these things taking full control of them. I couldn’t believe how they were able to manipulate me to forget, to hypnotise me so easily. From making me feel shit and attackers towards me to them being friends and me going with them.
<br>
<br>
I stood at that bar tall and facing them not backing down to them. Then a sexy Burlesque looking woman is next to me all over me I realize it’s another of the figures from across the room. Somehow, she gets me to leave with her. I don’t know why or how they were able to trick me into going each time but they did. Was like being spellbound by them. I’m now surrounded by gorgeous women having every sexual fantasy and desire I have performed to and for me. She knows without me asking, it would just happen. Again, I become aware and choose this to stop. I love my wife and we have crazy awesome sex, this has no value I have her and love her more than I want this. I don’t want this. Back into the retro lounge I went. Now I am able to go straight to the VIP room.
<br>
<br>
This time however I tell them I don’t want anything from them you have nothing I want and I do not want to go somewhere with any of you. They were agitated and unsure what to do trying to approach me but I say no go away. Finally, I said you are not allowed to control me ever again. Another entity starts towards me NO, I said go away I don’t want it. What happens next was something I will never forget. The feeling was like nothing I had ever felt before it was so overwhelming.
<br>
<br>
Two huge pure white energy beings entered the room they stood 2 stories high and had a Hulk-like build. They had no features just white energy in the shape of a Hulk. I look over to the table and see them all huddled in the corner in fear. No longer the tough bullies they acted like before, now scared and in disbelief. I herd some comments from them. How did this happen he brought them together? These 2 have been kept apart for eons. How can he have done this? They have both been waiting for this moment the opportunity to come along to find one another like something big between them happened or they would get something is what I felt. The POWER I felt from these 2 was intense just so much POWER!!! I can’t describe it for you to understand. It made me feel so small and weak like I have no choice or ability to stop anything they wanted to do. It hits me from the inside and pushes out and it is intense and constant. They were taunting each other pacing the room like fighters sizing each other up taunting and building up to battle. I remember how excited they seemed to get this opportunity to finally get one another. So small I was and being constantly kept in the middle of them as they circle around back and forth. I couldn’t help feeling like they were fighting over me in some way. Like Good and Bad, but I could not say one felt like the bad one. Was just what I thought might be happening. I said no way I’m not strong enough for this, their POWER was too much and it never eased off me. I was standing in between them the whole time. Imagine standing between two Hulks ready to fight. It was too much I said I am not doing this nope this is too big for me. I shut myself down and thought get me out of here.
<br>
<br>
I then found myself in this endless loop of no space forming for any longer than 2-3 seconds no train of thought would hold construction. Then I realised a loop had started again. I was 2 dimensional and would slide across a space. I was standing on my front foot back leg bent and foot in the air pointing my finger. And I would hear Naaarrnnn Brreeaad… and back to chaotic visuals like thought was not able to construct a formation. Was like all alternate realities flipping past like channels trying to tune in but unable to hold it.
<br>
<br>
What is amazing to me is that the whole time my inner voice or thought was always still me <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">What is amazing to me is that the whole time my inner voice or thought was always still me</div></div> like I’m sitting here now and any other day. Even though I have no body or container my thought is always present and very sober and me. While in this loop I started to think I might have broken my psyche am I going to be institutionalised stuck in this state because this had been continuing for what felt like a very long time. Am I in the foetal position rocking like a crazy person. Is this going to end? I started thinking about my kids and how I need to be there for them and I can’t let them grow up without me and how I am going to miss seeing them grow up. I have to find my way back from this for them I can’t let this happen. Then I thought about my wife and her not having me there to help with the kids. I thought about how much I would miss her and how much I will hurt her being psychologically broken or dead. Then I just managed to pull in and hold onto an emotional connection I felt for my wife. I remembered how much I loved her and the love I felt. As soon as I felt that love take hold of me in the distance a green light shot up from the ground into the now violet sky above me on some plane of existence it had stopped on. It exploded high in the air and spread around the entire planet slowly a veil fell down to the surface. At the moment it exploded the feeling of love was powerful and totally immersed me. Total love and happiness washed over me. It felt euphoric with a strong safe protection from everything. I wanted it to stay forever I couldn’t hold it though. As it fell down to the ground it weakened until it went away.
<br>
<br>
After that everything slowed down things started to construct again still spaces changing like new construction of reality passing by me. I associate it to trying to tune back into my reality of earth. I did find the lounge room again music off lights on and quiet, but could hold it this happened probably three times. Each time I struggled to accept I was back to my reality and it was real. It didn’t feel or look right. I finally got back and stayed there, I questioned it was real again it no longer felt real it was just like all the other places I had gone past. But I felt the familiarity of it then I sat forward and realised I was back I found it yep I was back. I saw J which confirmed it and then the others.
<br>
<br>
J was there next to me. Fuck man how you going? Holy Shit. Fuck me. What the Faaark. Shaking my head putting my head into my hands running them over my head as I threw myself back into the seat Fuck Fuck Fuck I stood up quickly and said I need to get out of here and went straight outside. J followed me out to the brick letter box. I leaned on it and just kept saying Fuck, fuck, faarrk wholly fuck man. J stood on the other side and leaned down. I looked at him I could see he was worried. I just shook my head saying holy fuck bro I went to this place I met some beings I left this place and I didn’t know if I would find my way back, I was in this loop for so long. I proceeded to walk around in disbelief and processing it all. I was still able to feel their power when I thought about them it would nearly overwhelm me to the edge of control.
<br>
<br>
I called my wife to come and get me I told her what happened she was amazing I mean concerned about me as I walked around the house in disbelief rambling and talking while processing what had happened and that it did actually happen. It was as real as sitting here right now except I know I was sitting on mate’s couch for like 3hrs while this happened. It's still a memory for me no different to any other life experience memory. I began having these ideas of connection and the flow of everything around me its all a dance of interactions. And if you don’t resolve an issue or let go it won’t go away it is just on a loop always coming back around to conscious thought. The more unresolved issues the more loops the messier the flow of your song for your cosmic dance. Like hitting the wrong note in a song causes a misstep to the dancer. Handle your issues or let go of them.
<br>
<br>
<!--1200 mics-->4 hits ~~ Impossible, astonishing things <!--will always happen at this dose--> happened. <!--[That doesn't mean it will always be what You want.] --> ~ Extremely vivid time lapses. [experiencing past, present, and future events happening all at once] - Body movements were extremely confusing / disorienting. Trails were so intense. I could see what I was/am doing in my past / present / future; the transition between each moment blended together. I could no longer really see my own hand in front of my face. My intellect and observations become one. ~ <!--You will loose your ego, no matter what, depending on Your karma. -->I lost my ego, depending on my karma. Total loss of visual connection with reality. The senses ceased to function in the normal way. The loss of reality became so severe that it defied logic. Extremely profound loop / thought lessons. Harsh teachers arose [metaphorically speaking...or not].<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2014</td><td width="90">ExpID: 112805</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 34</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 13, 2019</td><td>Views: 1,748</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=112805&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=112805&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Entities / Beings (37), Relationships (44), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
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