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<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">one half hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 cig.</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">65 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This was my first time trying LSD, which my Girlfriend brought. We both planned the day by bringing food, a Tent, a Hammock, and everything we would need to a small hill just outside the city.
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<br>
From there we even had a look all over the town - and as we built the tent, it was around 11:00 in the morning. We took half a paper of LSD, and then waited in the hammock. After approximately an hour, the LSD began to kick in. First slowly, then more noticeable. Everything was nice, colorful and trippy. We began giggling at small stuff and talked to each other in languages the other person was not speaking – and somehow still understanding each other. It was an amazing feeling, although I did not have significant Hallucinations with my eyes open. When I closed them, I could see a vivid picture of constantly changing forms and patterns.
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At one point, we felt the need to be naked, so we spent a few hours running around without clothes and looking over Leipzig. My senses were all more present, I felt, and the wind on my skin was just a great feeling. The point that was also really interesting was the completely non-existing sexuality in this time. We both agreed that it was really freeing to feel a general connectedness even more than usual, but all that while being absolutely non-sexual. It was like a feeling on a whole new level.
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The day passed like that and the feeling decreased gradually. At sunset, it was still noticeable but slowly going, so the sexuality also came back. Sex while coming down from LSD is really awesome. I also decided to roll a small blunt with some good weed I recently got from Amsterdam - the mistake of the day. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I also decided to roll a small blunt with some good weed I recently got from Amsterdam - the mistake of the day.</div></div>
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<br>
Everything was fine the whole day, but this small son of a bitch just ruined me. It is difficult to describe how I felt, but it was a mixture of paranoia and psychosis, I guess.I was clearly paranoid, since it got dark and we were alone on that hill. I grew anxious.And second, which was really fucked up, I was feeling changes to my usual way of thinking. If you picture the brain as a reservoir lake with a few small pipes allowing some water to pass (as a metaphor for your thoughts), that dam was just gone. The whole weight of my thought processes was open to me, I could see and track it all, I could switch memories on and off.
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My thoughts were racing, and so did my heart. I felt the weight of existence, and felt that the whole state of being was so mystical and unexplainable that there are thousands of possibilities how we can just be characters in a computer game of some weird species far more advanced than we are, et cetera… It was unbearable. Just for fun, I could switch off that I knew my Girlfriend, and then I was sitting there with an unknown person. That was scary. Usually, nobody notices how your brain deals with information it gets in a situation. You evaluate, check with experiences already made, react in a way you most likely already did. It felt like I could track all of that, which gave me chills and a huge brainfuck. According to my Girlfriend, my eyes were also moving very fast in uncontrollable directions. Overall, the combination was a very unpleasant experience for me. I would not combine LSD and THC in the way I did – the weeks afterwards, I was still thinking about what I experienced.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2016</td><td width="90">ExpID: 109364</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 30, 2020</td><td>Views: 619</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=109364&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=109364&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Combinations (3), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
LSD and Intensive Solo Meditation
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Drop 11:50 AM
<br>
<!-- 200 ug LSD - 2 tabs
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<br/>
-->Overall summary of events: walked around the park, went to a cafe, went home and alternated between meditating and sitting on my back porch and listening to music and smoking. This substance was tested using a home test kit and confirmed to be a variant of LSD.
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+1:00 The effects became rather noticeable, hard to communicate well, becoming more aware of thought patterns around others, more mindful of my movements and others around me - particularly at the cafe I noted others banter and how it affected me - in this case a group of bros who were being somewhat loud, this did not greatly disturb me, I had a sense of curiosity. I maintained my gaze at the tree line and focused particularly on one tree. When I had entered a meditative state - the trunk’s bark began to curl somewhat and have a soft furriness to it like moth’s wings. This continued only as long as I meditated. When I softened my gaze and was mindful, everything had a bit of a warble or “breathing ness” to it. My altered perceptions didn’t make it too difficult to be around others.
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+1:15 I sat in a gazebo in the park and meditated, looking at the floor, shapes began to appear in the floor in circular patterns. I was calm and excited, I noted my desire to reach out and speak to others but did not feel safe doing so as I was in public.
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A note on physical exertion: I was very tired of walking at this point, I had been walking for 1 and a half hours at this point, since the beginning of my trip. This may have been partially due to soreness from being at the gym but I got somewhat concerned about my ability to continue walking
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+1:30 I was relieved to get home my legs were tired. Transitions are of note here - I noticed myself at the intersection of all experiences and directions. I had given myself no structure so at this point I was drawn in many directions. I played around with noticing my awareness, such as when I was taking notes, and when I was talking to someone on the phone, and how that engaged different parts of myself. I noted that when I softened my gaze on trees and did not look directly at the limbs I could see the limbs turning into hands and curling inwards
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+1:57
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Checked in with my friend D, spoke somewhat in Spanish.
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Note: This time period is when I began to meditate formally, in varying positions with varying degrees of formality. Sometimes outside just gazing, sometimes sitting upright and eyes closed, sometimes laying down and breathing.
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+Between 2-3:30 I wrote “what surface, upon what surface, when plan, can a marble, or etch of your manifest be writ on… which words, what form, will be sufficient? Which is more right? Which is, is, more? Only that there be… aqui.” [here]
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Overall at this point the process of what I was doing began to self analyze into a thought loop, somewhat. I found that my perceived need to understand the experience or be able to interpret it in a way that was meaningful to other significant peoples created certain types of struggles which I grew to accept and go past.. However this necessitated a new way of seeing the experience, a new acceptance, more integration.
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+At 3:20 I wrote “periods of transition as identifying and then beginning to mold in each.. However structure is wanted to… basically take any lines to mold reality on… anything is what you make it.”
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+3:31 I continued to meditate formally … I think this is the point where I began to let go of analysis and of perceptions’ of others’ interpretations etc etc.. However this created a depth and boundlessness of meditate state without grounding which was horrifying and magnificent… I wrote
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“Meditation - horror and beauty, back and forth… processes… experience.. Images… self.. Flow… continuous.. Flow in one energy.”
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[this meditation and its visions: this meditation was particularly intense… I noticed a general sense of repulsion about certain aspects of life, of humans, of being.. I was confronted with a wall of and bulging teeth and eyes and bile and filth and disgusting experiences of every sort… I noticed my reaction to them… accepted them… found myself wanting to accept them to move past them but when I did so I could not move past them… I had to truly accept the experiences, not just “accept them” in a superficial sense. I had to see those negative things in myself and accept them and befriend them and the like. I was able continue upwards upwards to a sensation of just me and a light at a mountaintop.. It was me and a peak and the sun was coming over the peak of the cliff… and I am the breathe by the light on the cliff… I sat with that
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I then came to and did a chanting meditation… “hare krishna hare krishna krishna krishna hare hare hare rama hare rama rama rama hare hare” and I noticed myself stripping away aspects of myself… I was there in the room, then it was my breathe and my arms, then it was just my breathe and the words, then it was my sense of self as a person with the words, and then it was just the words with only the smallest sense of self attached, in that I knew I was the one saying the words but the words were simply being spoken] ….
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[ as a side note about intensive meditations like this one… it is very hard to recall them with any meaning, as the most intense moments of connectedness with oneself and the universe are the ones in which there is no way to communicate that idea and no perceptions about the self and no experience rooted in language… for this reason my memory about these experiences is lacking and I struggled to create this synthesis of this meditation]
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this proved difficult to integrate and I found myself unsteady, as I knew that “everything” on a eternal plane is fine and peaceful, but how identify myself with that same peaceful “okay”-ness proved a challenge
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+3:30-4:30 I worked with this for some time, and was able to find some comfort, but almost abandoned the venture completely. I found that my body was extremely worn by then, I have smoked many cigarettes and the substance has worn on my mind. I felt somewhat frazzled and overwhelmed by the sheer imagery and immensity of the stimuli and reactions I was having. Without a way to structure the experience or ground myself I was lost. I found myself recalling my therapist's’ guidance (who guides me through meditation), which was to focus on my grounding (feet, back, legs, physical sensations etc) as well as my feelings - not the thoughts or stories about my feelings, just the visceral sensation of the feeling. I was able to sit with my feelings and meditate on the discomfort I felt - I felt that I was messing up the process and wasn’t doing it right. I told myself “you’re doing it wrong” and it immediately released an immense amount of tension. I told myself things like “it’s okay that it’s not okay” (some things along these lines). Then I was able to sit with the feelings and the breathe as an anchor long enough to find peace but be able to connect it to my sense of self and my body. I was able to feel a calm peace radiating throughout me. I can still call it to being at the time of this writing - 8:05. This peace I was able to take with me from the meditation and connect with myself.
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4:38 I wrote a song to myself in Spanish and attempted to write some lines and notes in order to better recall it. [lyrics translated basically are “I’m saying to you from I don’t know where, I’m talking to you for reasons I don’t know why, what does it matter, the important part is… today… hello”
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5:03 I took notes on the experience… at this point I was tired… tired physically, mentally, and wanted to speak with someone to get out of being in my own head so much. I wrote
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“Meditation with little to no structure: very powerful, enlightening, however immensely (expensive), defying of self and out of context, hard to integrate….”
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…. Back and forth, berating the self for “not doing it properly, facing the self”
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…… structured meditation with grounding and feelings much more concrete and peaceful bliss in centering and connected way… everything really is okay.
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Feeling need to understand self or report to others in certain ways or authorities…
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The substance began to tone down and wore off almost completely by hours 7-8. I went and ate some food and was generally relaxed and mindful of my surroundings although somewhat on edge and tired. The food felt sustaining and revitalizing. Generally after hour 5 I chose not to use it to delve into my consciousness any longer so there is no more useful or unique data and I will end the report here.
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In conclusion I want to state that my overall tone about solo trips, combined with meditation, is to proceed with caution... it seems like it can get messy, fast… I do not think I was quite experienced enough with meditation to go as far as I did. Since this trip I have more or less learned to access similar states without psychedelics (with less intensity) however utilizing psychedelics makes it much much easier to go deeper, faster.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2016</td><td width="90">ExpID: 108808</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Not Specified</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 23</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 30, 2020</td><td>Views: 715</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=108808&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=108808&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Meditation (128) : Combinations (3), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">300 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 8:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">70 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I was on acid, around 300ug, walked around the city for a bit, listened to music then went back home. I've done this perhaps 15-20 times in the past 6 years or so, sometimes at doses up to 800ug (a completely different experience to what I shall describe here). This was a fairly normal dose for me however, my vision wasn't obscured, I was capable of typing, speaking, understanding other people, etc.
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I got home about 8 hours in, I felt like it was fading somewhat and was somewhat tired. So I smoked a single bowl of weed, it wasn't the strongest weed and I often smoke weed on acid, it intensifies the experience but what happened here was otherworldly. I started to get a little bit paranoid, hearing voices coming from outside my window, this has happened before when I was extremely sleep deprived and smoked a heap of strong weed <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">this has happened before when I was extremely sleep deprived and smoked a heap of strong weed</div></div>. I tried ignoring it but couldn't, even walked outside down the street to confirm that they weren't next door but following me, always out of reach. Having realized I was just hallucinating them I went back to my room to try and calm down. 30 minutes or so had passed since I had smoked.
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<br>
I opened a word document, within one sentence I instantly felt chills run down my spine and something plug itself in. The screen glowed with an insane neon surge, changing colours, the words themselves jumping out at me. I knew that something was controlling me. I felt myself in the backseat, something was on the forefront of my mind, yet I was simultaneously aware of it (aware as in of its basic thought processes) and my own mind. It was speaking to me, yet something was inaccessible. The entire room changed, my guitars seemed to be living, the fender logo was swirling outwards as flowers across the walls.
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<br>
The entity forced me to type, it loved the experience as it had never experienced it before. It was my subconscious, it referred to itself as the Id but when I said that may be wrong it simply told me to write, fully capitalized ''FUCK SIGMUND FREUD LOL'.
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What was previously rather dull, became insane, the entire room pulsated and with each surge of emotion it intensified further. Visuals were directly linked to thoughts, the text seemed like wordart even when I typed certain phrases.
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<br>
I stepped away to get a drink of water and I could feel tendrils following me, they tapped me on the shoulder even to force me to return. I felt some strange feeling in my spine again, as if they were directly controlling it once I touched the keyboard. In retrospect I felt it at the C7-C8 level of the spine - responsible for hand movement. It kept dropping revelations, some were impossible to type and it taunted me by dangling them just out of my mind, only for them to disappear once I tried to formulate them coherently.
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I study science and have literal paranormal beliefs. That being said I am skeptical of practically everything and the human mind is by no means understood fully. I believe my subconsciousness was somehow brought to my awareness, that dormant part that controls you during life or death circumstances, that guides you away from bad habits, decides what you want to eat before you make a conscious decision, consolidates memory and builds decisions on various matters whilst you are otherwise occupied. I've felt that take over before, you aren't fully aware of it but your body reacts during danger, part sympathetic nervous system, part instinct, part something entirely different. It's what makes you dance automatically, makes you kiss properly without even thinking of it.
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It was out however, and was somewhat mad at me for depriving it, and the rest of my body, of proper sustenance. It wiped out my mind at one point, the normal me seemed stupid in its awe of this experience, and I recall a maniacal sense of glee in calling it cringe (as my subconscious). It knew we were one and the same however.
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Ultimately it made me promise to get a job, to gain weight as I was appallingly skinny (I felt my stomach/intestines relay a message saying that they weren't happy, and thus I wouldn't be), I felt every single part of me so normally neglected by my self destructive ego call out and demand change. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I felt every single part of me so normally neglected by my self destructive ego call out and demand change.</div></div>
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It's been a year since, I've gained 12 kilos, have decently defined muscles, have a job that I love, and haven't cut myself since. That last part wasn't even a conscious decision on my behalf, I simply have not had the urge. I feel like crying writing this, but truly it just made me realise how important it was for the conscious self and the body to be conjoined, in a proper functioning relationship. The mind cannot be happy otherwise.
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I experienced possession a few more times, each time I was guided towards improving myself, though was fucked with often (they told me that CAPTCHA was part of an interdimensional psychedelic network on the internet). At one point they masqueraded as a collective consciousness formed by psychedelic users on the internet (perhaps it was that masquerading as my subconsciousness lol), similar to serial experiments lain.
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The last time it happened, I smoked a heap of weed and got too high, whilst at first they wanted to fuck me with (read: I wanted to fuck with my ego), they then decided that it was for the best if they guided me towards watching Aqua Teen Hunger Force whilst taking a backseat role - they could tell I was too anxious and that it wasn't the time or place ( I had work the next day).
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Lesson one: you control your own reality. I had been hearing paranoid voices just prior to this, with a muted sensory experience, now I was euphoric and truly enjoying myself. I've since been able to control my trips a whole lot better.
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Overall this experience has not just encouraged me to improve my life, but research the manner by which LSD exerts increased connectivity between certain regions of the brain, and way in which synesthesia is produced.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2020</td><td width="90">ExpID: 114881</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 3, 2020</td><td>Views: 511</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=114881&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=114881&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Alone (16), Depression (15), Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">105 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This was probably my 4th or 5th experience with LSD (I’ve also done shrooms, DXM, and I smoke weed regularly), but it was by far the best. My boyfriend (we’ll call him Don), and my best friend (we’ll call him Max) were going up to Saratoga with me, to stay at Don’s house for the last weekend before college started. We decided that on the last day, me and Don would do LSD with Max as our sitter. This situation was responsible for it being the best experience ever, because we didn’t have to be worried that our parents were going to find out that we had skipped school to do drugs (or anything like that, which has happened before), because it’s impossible to think clearly on LSD.
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<br>
We went to the main park in Saratoga to take the LSD. It came on the same way it usually did: I started feeling a little disoriented and dizzy in a nice sort of way, I lost all sensitivity to temperature, all moving objects began to have bigger and bigger trails, my vision became imprinted with the image of chains and bubbling graffiti, and everything Max said became increasingly more funny. Don and I waded deep into a river that was running through the middle of the park. Neither of us could feel the icy-coldness of the water, which was nice because the push of the water against us felt amazing, and as I looked at the water, chains started to form over my vision, which made the ripples on the water start to churn and turn into animated graffiti-like images that were imprinted over my vision.
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There were tons of people at the park that day, and there was a lady in pink walking her dogs near the stream. For some reason, the LSD made it easy for us to interact with her, but would have made it impossible for us to interact with people we knew, like Don’s parents.
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After staying in the river for a very long time, we got into Don’s car and Max drove us around for hours, literally, using more than a tank of gas. It was AMAZING, thanks to both Max and the LSD. Max is incredibly funny, and we always joke about him having an LSD personality, because he’s crazy and hilarious and has a great personality. He pretended to be giving us tours of all the towns we were exploring through in the car, which made everything we saw become incredibly funny. We were laughing for hours and hours, and had to ask Max to stop being funny for 5 minutes so we could take a short break from laughing.
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We stopped for a bit on the side of the road because there was an extremely pretty park with a lake. The LSD was reaching its peak at this point, and I had a lot of trouble walking and remembering where I was or what was going on, which wasn’t a problem because I knew Max was there and would make everything be okay. This let me just completely let go and enjoy myself, and I know Don did too, although I don’t think he was tripping as hard as I was.
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<br>
Clouds are AMAZING on LSD. They immediately turn into a pattern of faces and objects that seem so real and 3D. Most of the objects are human bodies, faces, or skulls. A lot of the objects are actually very morbid, for example, I usually see mostly skulls and ghosts and bodies that look like they’re in a lot of pain, but that never bothered me.
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I started getting these hand-twitches that I usually do on shrooms or LSD, where if I hear any music, my hands start moving around to the music on their own, as if they’re trying to play the music or the noises that I’m hearing. It feels very natural, and I just let go of my hands, and let them all fall to where they naturally want to be, which lets my fingers able to move around to the music. Sometimes this makes colored sparks and waves appear around my hands. These colored waves also go along with the music, and then eventually it begins to seem as if my hands are what is making the music.
<br>
<br>
When it got late, around 11pm or so, we went back to Don’s apartment. His parents weren’t there, which was good because we were still tripping pretty hard. I remember walking around the coffee table - around and around and around, because walking in the circle I had made felt completely natural, and it felt as if something else was compelling me to keep walking. A few hours later, Don and I went into his room and Max stayed outside on the sofa, because he knew we wanted to have sex on LSD. Sex on LSD is amazing. It combines the euphoria of LSD with the euphoria of having sex, to make pretty much the best experience ever. However, for some reason, it’s not addicting, which is really good, because I can enjoy it once in a while without craving it.
<br>
<br>
After we had sex, Don started to cry because it was our last weekend together before college, and since we were going to different colleges, we didn’t know when we would see each other next. LSD has been really good for our relationship because it makes him able to show his emotions more and say exactly how he feels. It helps me too, because I’m usually very resistant to showing those sorts of emotions. LSD has only made us closer and I’m almost positive that we have a better relationship because of it. LSD allows us to connect on a level beyond the physical level, and helps us understand each other more, and lets us just have a really great time together.
<br>
<br>
We only do LSD once in a while though, because it is very exhausting, and at the end of the trip, it’s always very comforting to know that it will eventually end, and the world will be back to normal.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2008</td><td width="90">ExpID: 73958</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 4, 2020</td><td>Views: 537</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=73958&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=73958&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Relationships (44), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gel tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">280 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I started taking psychedelics' in the spring of 2019. My friend, let's call him Gary, took my first tab of acid with me. Gary had done it a few times before and wanted to share the experience with me. We tripped at my house and walked around my neighborhood at 3AM.
<br>
<br>
It was an absolutely fantastic experience and from that point I was hooked. Every two weeks me and Gary would meet up with the plug and get our hits. I never went above 2 tabs or 200ug while Gary would always 3-4 tabs every time we tripped. At one point we candyflipped together and it was honestly the best night of my life. I felt completely connected to the universe and the universe was nothing but vast and infinite love. Me and Gary ended up cuddling in my bed. We had never shared any romantic feelings in our friendship and this was completely not sexual. After that point all I could think about was candyflipping again <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">all I could think about was candyflipping again</div></div>. Gary and I still tripped every 2 weeks but we could never find any MDMA.
<br>
<br>
Fast forward to April of this year (2020) and we were preparing for Bicycle Day. Our plug had gotten in gel tabs when all he had before was paper. He told me that these would come on faster and hit a little harder then the regular dose and I was so excited. He then told me that he finally got some MDMA in and my excitement was through the roof. I bought two tabs and a point of molly for myself and couldn't wait. Then Gary tells me that he can't come with me on Bicycle Day since he had to work and I decided 'Fuck it' and dropped on the night of April 13th. I took the two tabs and planned to wait 90 minutes before taking the point of MDMA. I texted my plug and told him I was dropping tonight and then he told me that they were dosed at 150 not the 100 he told me. I thought it would be fine, I've never had a challenging experience before while tripping so I buckled myself in for the ride.
<br>
<br>
These tabs hit me like a fucking train. It must have been 15 minutes after ingestion and I was already in Lucy's arms. My walls were vibrating and moving with an intensity I had never seen before. I start to panic and text Gary that this might be more intense than I expected and didn't know if I should take the MDMA, but he never texted me back. At the 90 minute mark I was already tripping harder than any other trip I've had. I called Gary and asked him if I should "Full send" or not. I called him on snapchat so I assumed he read the messages when he picked up but after he told me that he didn't read them until later. He responds with the "Fuck yeah full send it." Now I would trust Gary with my life, he has been one of my best friends since we met in middle school so with his answer I take the point of MDMA. I convinced myself that the MDMA would calm me down when it kicked in. I would feel the love of the universe once more and all would be okay. But I couldn't have been more wrong.
<br>
<br>
From this point until I started coming down my memory is super hazy. I remember my room being so small it could fit on the end of a needle and then it would instantly be miles wide. The closed eye visuals were even more intense than the ones in my room. Everywhere I looked I saw psychedelic patterns. My anxiety overwhelmed me and I couldn't hold myself together. I called Gary once more, bawling my eyes out. I was so scared of the place that I was in and I could do nothing to escape it. I couldn't even close my eyes and take a break, it was my entire existence. I don't think I fully ego-death but I was teetering on the edge of insanity. Gary assures me that I'll be okay, that it's just a drug and I will be back to normal soon. My mind was racing and I had such a hard time completing my thoughts on the phone. By the time my mouth could form the words my brain was already 10 steps ahead with no signs of slowing down. I remember violently crying and telling Gary to never let me go back to this place. Like I said my memory is very hazy but I remember that one moment exactly. The moment where I promised myself I would never return to the place I was in has been seared into my memory. it feels like an eternity that I was on the phone with Gary. Gary falls asleep on the phone and I just sat there and listen to him snore. Knowing that he was there on the other end of the phone, even asleep, was extremely comforting. I eventually mustered up the courage to leave my bed and go into my computer room. My buddy was playing on our minecraft server so I hopped on discord and talked with him a bit and then I went back to bed.
<br>
<br>
I was finally coming down but this is the strangest experience I have ever had on a psychedelic. It was like I was split into two versions of myself, one was laying on my bed and the other was floating above on the ceiling watching me, except I was both of them at the same time. I was in this state for about 20 minutes. So for the sake of making this easy for me we will just call the floating me Nat#1 and the one on the bed Nat#2. Nat#1 could see there was clearly something different about Nat#2 and Nat#2 didn’t really care about Nat#1. It finally clicked in that Nat#1 was looking at a woman. At the same millisecond the two mes’ were slammed together and for the first time in my life I accepted myself as a transgender woman. I’ve struggled with my gender ever since I was a little kid and I had known that I had felt dysphoria over my gender for as long as I could remember. I originally just said that I was non-binary and kinda shoved all of those feelings under the rug. Deep down a part of me always knew but I just wasn’t ready to really come to terms with it. Then lady Lucy absolutely destroyed me and then taught me things about myself that I don’t know how I could have dealt with if I didn’t have her.
<br>
<br>
After that experience I sobbed for an hour. I thought my original candyflip was the most beautiful thing I had ever experienced, but that moment of self realisation easily tops it. For so long I had been struggling with myself and who I was but I came out of that trip with all of those problems gone. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">For so long I had been struggling with myself and who I was but I came out of that trip with all of those problems gone.</div></div> Since then I’ve made good on my promise to myself not to go back there. Gary and I got together and did a low dose of psilocybin but it made me feel similar to the bad parts of that night so I didn’t have a good time.
<br>
<br>
In total I am so thankful for the experience I had but also never want to go back there. Maybe one day I can return to Lucy, I sure as hell miss her. But for now I think it's best that we stay apart.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2020</td><td width="90">ExpID: 114906</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Not Specified</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 19</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 6, 2020</td><td>Views: 949</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=114906&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=114906&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), MDMA (3) : Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Combinations (3), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">62 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I want to tell you the story of how I died. This happened recently and I mainly write it down for myself to remember and integrate, but I figure I could as well make it as good a read as I can for your pleasure and inspiration.
<br>
<br>
I’m not going to bore you with a lot of background, suffice to say I’m quite experienced with psychedelics: mainly LSD but also some shroom trips (mostly when I was younger), several DMT breakthroughs, 2C-B, DOM and Mescaline. Overall easily over a hundred trips, accumulated over more than a decade and a half. This experience was with LSD. I had taken dosages well beyond 1mg before, but this 500µg trip was by far my most intense LSD trip. Let me try to piece together what happened.
<br>
<br>
It was about the last occasion for me to trip for a while as I was going to start a new job shortly after. I had a decent stash of some very good acid from a trusted source. I had tested it before and was surprised by the punch this batch packed. It was standard 100µg blotters but this batch seemed to have a magic to it that surpassed my extensive experience with this substance. I was tripping alone, like I do most of the time, especially when I’m seeking answers. And boy, answers I got!
<br>
<br>
I dropped 200µg around 9pm and the other 300µg around 11pm. I like to split my my dose when I’m going higher than 200µg. It requires more acid in total but makes for a smoother transition between the dimensions. I was already tripping reasonably hard when I munched the other three blotters, and I felt the second dose come quickly and forcefully. It must have been around midnight when I temporarily left this side of reality and transitioned to an immersive, visionary realm deep inside. I can only speculate what happened in the physical reality during the next 3 hours, but more on that later.
<br>
<br>
On the other side I was rapidly following along a path that I’ve trodden on before. But this was the first time I actually got to the end of it and remembered it afterwards. I’m pretty sure it’s the same path and destination DMT took me few times, but <!-- as you may know--> DMT goes so fast that it’s difficult to transport anything meaningful over to this side. With this acid trip it’s still not easy but I could take with me a lot more than I could from my DMT breakthroughs.
<br>
<br>
The path was not visual or spacial or temporal, it was total immersion across all my senses and then some more. I felt and smelt and heard and saw and tasted and sensed it in ways I had never before, a reality that had no dimensions, no time, but a clear direction. The direction was forward, and it was an irresistible imperative. I only hesitated briefly when I was about to die. But I quickly realised that resistance is futile, no one can escape death. And I was damn curious as to what was on the other side. I briefly thought about my poor mother, and how she would blame herself for my death. But I instinctively knew that I was moving into the right direction, that my journey and its destination were inevitable, and that my mother would realise that she send me on the right path.
<br>
<br>
So I died.
<br>
<br>
On the other side of my existence I was cast into utter nothingness. For precisely one eternity. And from the nothingness emerged a spiralling maelstrom of causality. Space and time had no meaning here, cause and effect were the only reference. I saw how petty our struggles are, when viewed in the context of the whole. I saw that every end is a new beginning, and that every beginning is necessarily followed by an end. And that this is the only absolute certainty there is. Everything else is just fluctuations, cosmic ripples if you will. Everything that’s not directly connected to our own, very limited causality is inherently uncertain, and that’s fine. We should try to make the best of our limited time, but we shouldn’t take our success or failure too seriously. In the big picture it’s just a tiny point, and the big picture is beautiful. With or without us. There is no good or bad in absolute terms. The universe is inherently neutral, out of nothingness into nothingness, a beginning to an end to a new beginning.
<br>
<br>
I emerged from this cataclysm around 3am finding myself on the bedroom floor (I had been lying on my bed when I embarked on this journey). I had some fresh bruises all over my body and a benign bump and a little scratch on my forehead. A chair was fallen over, my blanket was on the other side of the room, and my fairly robust plastic waste bin was shattered. The kitchen floor was covered in water and a carafe I use for tap water was lying on the floor. I have no clue what had happened in the physical world during my journey, but it must have been somewhat violent. Maybe unsurprising considering I had just died.
<br>
<br>
So what’s the message here? You decide!
<br>
<br>
I know that this was what people call “ego death”, I never put much relevance to that concept and still don’t. This felt not like my Ego was dying, in the sense that my Ego is one part of me, but like literally all my existence coming to an end. And I’m convinced that’s what actually happened, at least for the short time of one eternity.
<br>
<br>
I feel changed after this experience. Like a part of me that had always been a little fearful about the future and my own impact on this world had been left behind. But not the part that wants to make as positive an impact as possible, only the part that was afraid of the prospect of failure or success.
<br>
<br>
I do not recommend to try this at home. It was truly cataclysmic and quite scary at times. It was certainly what I had been looking for all the time with my experimentation with psychedelics, but it was not at all what I expected. Psychedelics are powerful and on my journey I also realised that this type of experience will lead to madness if one can’t let go. It took me over a hundred trips of preparation to be able to do that, but even then not without hesitation. If you want to seek this type of experience, make sure you are well prepared. Especially well prepared to encounter something you are not prepared for.
<br>
<br>
Namaste!<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2017</td><td width="90">ExpID: 110302</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 32</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 10, 2020</td><td>Views: 930</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=110302&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=110302&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">40 - 50 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/4_acetoxy_dmt/">4-AcO-DMT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(extract)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:35</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">15 - 25 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/4_acetoxy_dmt/">4-AcO-DMT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:35</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.25 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">155 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<!-- T 0; LSD tabs sublingual 170ug
<br/>
T +1:30; 4-AcO-DMT powder oral 40-50mg
<br/>
T +1:30; Cannabis extract smoked 100mg
<br/>
T +1:35; 4-AcO-DMT powder oral 15-25mg
<br/>
T +1:35; Cannabis dried material vaporized 0.25g
<br/>
Ongoing: Cannabis dried material vaporized and smoked (~3.5g total)
<br/>
<br/>
-->Author is an experienced user of psychedelics and daily cannabis consumer.
<br>
<br>
Wake up very early in the morning (4am) to maximize my time to search for mushrooms on a cold but still fall day. Search as the sun rises but find few. Trim a recently harvested cannabis plant and wait for my friend to be ready to join me to search for mushrooms again. We find many. As we were picking it struck me it would be a good idea to trip later this day after getting home. Not wanting to use the mushrooms I just picked, I opted for LSD. I didn’t mention to my friend the plan of tripping later in the day.
<br>
<br>
Upon returning home I eat a small meal and do some minor chores in the house. An hour or so after eating the meal I take 1.5 hits of LSD (115ug per hit according to darkweb source) letting it sit sublingually about 10 min before swallowing. I relax during the come up first by masturbating (sexual behaviour works well with LSD for me) and then trimming a plant and watching a documentary on youtube where a man was living with a tribe of people in Tanzania. As the acid develops I find things the host is doing to be more and more stupid then eventually laugh each time he faces the camera.
<br>
<br>
I don’t just want to do regular things in my house, I want to get very high and explore whatever space my mind is in. At some point before the LSD I had decided I would take acid and do stuff for a bit, then take 4-AcO-DMT and do a big dab as the acid started to approach the initial peak. After the show ended I took out my AcO-DMT stash (sourced online in an rc store) and poured out what I figured was enough for a solid trip on its own. I didn’t use a scale, I was aiming for 40-50mg. I’m experienced eyeballing doses of this stuff at this point (although I checked the pile of drugs and my remaining bag several times to make sure the acid didn’t get in the way of my judgement). Mix the pile with some juice and knock it back. This is about 1.5 hours since the LSD.
<br>
<br>
Go do a dab. Sit on the floor and stretch my limbs and close my eyes and focus on developing the trip. I’m starting to see some wispy closed eye visuals and gain a growing body load (feels like after you finish spinning around a lot in place). Have the feeling I might not quite have enough in me to get where I need to go so I ingest another dose of AcO-DMT in the 15-25mg range then vaporize some weed (do a bag). Again I sit and close my eyes and develop the trip. I decide I should go outside with my dog.
<br>
<br>
I put on my shoes and coat and put my dog’s collar on him, then I glance back at the steps and I’m struck with a strong feeling. I say to myself “but man what are you doing?” and I mean with my life. This year I had lost a well paying professional job because I lost the will do do it anymore. I have had no idea what to do next but know I couldn’t dedicate so much of my time to something I cared so little about. My life recently up to this point had consisted of social assistance, bouts of hopelessness, feeling as though I fucked up everything, and believing that I have no ambitions. As the words I said to myself started to sink in I began to cry and feel like I had to change something.
<br>
<br>
Walk through the neighbourhood with my dog and search for mushrooms on our way. I feel as though I have a great ability to see them in this state after spending most of my sober hours earlier in the day picking them. There are no visual distortions when I view the grass and everything else in the world is tuned out. I feel like I’m in a hyper aware athletic state and travel very quickly. I can’t know if this helped though because I did not find any.
<br>
<br>
We get to a park about a half hour after the AcO-DMT and I begin to notice that I am high as fuck and getting higher. I begin to play with my dog running all over the park (it’s just a big field on a hill) and having no trouble keeping up with him. He is really big and can run fast. I reflect on how it’s usually pretty hard to catch him. I was not noticing visuals although it is likely they would present themselves when I tried to focus on something in particular with my eyes. My body load had developed into a pleasant lightness.
<br>
<br>
I notice the less I conduct internal dialogue the easier it is to run around and not get tired. I have to maintain this state of no extraneous thought to be able to compete with my dog properly. It felt like a stream of consciousness performance state except with the added layer of my mind analyzing how to maintain it. The only other people in the park were two kids playing with each other. It was very nice to be able to pay attention to the kids as I played dog games. I liked watching them craft fun out of nothing and enjoyed how their focus seemed to shift quickly from one thing to another but always be so genuine and total. All of this put me in quite a state of bliss.
<br>
<br>
As the dog game slowed down I started to have more internal dialogue. My thoughts developed to thinking about how much fun I was having. Then I thought about weed and how I like it a lot. I thought about how it costs a decent amount of money and will likely just wind up costing more over time and after my country legalizes it. Then I realized that I just want to grow weed to make a living. I already do it for fun. I believe that my deep passion for the plant will lead me to a happier more fulfilling life.
<br>
<br>
When I tried to raise the energy levels playing with my dog again it started to cause my left arm pain for some reason. I wasn’t using it to throw things at any point (right handed) but the more I run the more it feels like I am damaging it. I stop trying to play.
<br>
<br>
I realize just how trippy my experience has been so far. With a truly psychedelic feeling of having thoughts then realizing afterword why I had them, and running until my arm hurts. Laughing at how overwhelming it all is but I am still able to follow myself. I feel very sure and happy. I cry and ecstatically say “yes” to myself, I feel thankful and happy about having achieved this psychedelic state.
<br>
<br>
There are no visuals, just what feels like a hyper clear reality. I feel as though I can manifest visuals if I let my mind wander but it feels as though they are distractions from focusing on introspection.
<br>
<br>
Leave the park to drop my dog home before visiting a friend. The walk back from the park was at first pleasant but built to chaotic once I lost track of my thoughts and stopped being able to remember the root of trains of thought I would go on. This felt like it could degenerate into thought loops trying to figure out pointless roots of psychedelic inference. Instead I laughed and thought about how it doesn’t matter why I’m thinking any of this, it’s just stuff my mind is filling itself with while I’m between tasks. I at one point sort of panic thinking I will go mad when I get home sitting in my house with nothing to do, but then I remembered I was on the way home to get some stuff before I saw my friend.
<br>
<br>
I was wondering how to remember this ability to deal with challenging thoughts, it always seems easier to be happy when on psychedelics. When I got home I felt the need to channel some of this feeling into some words so I could remember it the next day. I wrote:
<br>
<br>
wait
<br>
<br>
eat.meditate.think
<br>
<br>
tomorrow depends on today
<br>
<br>
[Meditate and think are synonyms more or less, and wait also means the same thing in this context. Kinda redundant, but they felt important. Wait also means don’t panic. Eat is a reminder to eat healthy food because you’re made of food. ‘Tomorrow depends on today’ is more or less the same thing as eat. If I look after myself today it will help tomorrow even if it doesn’t feel like it will. I kind of like this little message now. I wouldn’t present it with description if it was a piece of art but I’m trying to tell you what a high person was trying to leave for their sober self.]
<br>
<br>
Was pleased after I wrote this, it felt strenuous to write although it happened quickly. Decided to follow it before I saw my friend. Was hungry so I got some food, also did a bag. My sore arm had come back with me from the park and was developing into a strange tightness in my hand like the muscles and tendons were out of whack and some parts were pulling harder than they should. It felt like my joints would pop and crack if I did too much with this hand (especially in the palm). This became difficult when trying to open a zip locked bag of grains. I tried to open it without my bad hand for a while but was too rushed and used it anyway. I felt like I had injured my hand more after the bag was open and vowed to find alternative ways to interact with the world until my arm felt better.
<br>
<br>
My racing mind made it difficult to be in my house quiet and alone. I knew the distraction of people to talk to would help me come down and also hopefully stop my strange pain. It was now 5 hours since I took the acid. Gathering my stuff was taxing, I decided to sing songs about what I was doing to help me focus on something feel chill. I made my way to my friend’s house and on the way I felt as though I lost my ability to judge good/bad in the usual way. Sort of like I knew it was probably a good idea to not get hit by cars but things in reality felt so intangible I didn’t feel any real danger from vehicles that passed me. Similarly when I got to my friend’s place I was having difficulty gauging his reaction to things I was saying, whether it was acceptable or offensive or funny or what have you. This was to be a quick visit to pick up hash and weed because I had other meetings as well. I felt bad about this for some reason and didn’t know how to respectfully visit and didn’t want to disclose this information.
<br>
<br>
Conversation was difficult, I couldn’t really tell what my friend was talking about most of the time but I seemed to say things that allowed it to cary on. I was looking him in the eyes and rather close to him to show I was engaged in our chat but the whole time I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing. He was very baked though and struggled to find all his products and bags to put them in. While I was sitting on his couch watching him move around his home my visual perception was very strange. It felt like I could see everything in the room in front of me, even some of the things behind me, but I could focus on certain areas and then it was almost like I flew over there and had a closer look although I didn’t leave the couch and also had no physical sensations of moving.
<br>
<br>
I watched my friend find a bag, then lay the bag down and then immediately go look for a bag again. I found this quite funny but did not help him. He then asked what he was looking for. I said “a bag I think” he agrees and goes looking again. His roommate tries to tell him where there are bags, I knew this would further confuse my friend so I mention: “you got a bag a minute ago man look there”. He then goes back to the bag he found before and we all have a great laugh. It felt strange to watch this situation unfold but part of me had a sense that delivering the information slowly would keep me from looking impatient and also not accidentally hurt my friends feelings because I was not able to control my tone very well at the time (at least I thought). We talked more, and I felt as though my friend was trying to find his place in life as well (projecting my own feelings onto him though I think) and I hoped that the trip he is soon taking for several months would help him on that quest. Then I got my weed and went on my way.
<br>
<br>
As I travel toward the bar where some of my other friends are hanging out I feel as though the distractions of having to talk to them will help me regain my judgement and have me feeling more normal. I also tell myself that drugs wear off you just need to wait and that I haven’t lost it forever. I have a minor panic and don’t really believe myself, I think that I’ll be stuck awake all night wishing I could sleep. But I also have a belief that seeing my friend who was in jail the last few months will return some balance to myself and have me feeling better from then on. I had a strong trip earlier in the year where I felt like I knew the reason he went to jail (not the offence but the societal cause) but I came out of it with no tangible thought of what that was, or really what that meant, but somehow felt it was important. Now I connected it to my wanting to produce cannabis for a career, since he was in jail for cannabis production but now free and still planning to continue when it is reasonable to do so. He went to jail because he is meant to produce cannabis, he’ll keep doing it because he loves it. Our country is going to legalize, everything is going to be fine. I’m meant to produce cannabis as well, everything is going to be fine.
<br>
<br>
I get to the bar and see my friends. The bar is having a trivia night and I have difficulty understanding what the questions are even asking. My friend consults with me on some of the questions and I give answers. I feel like I am very wrong and have no idea where the answers really came from, retracing logic in my head feels impossible. We kind of give up on it all eventually and just have a chat anyway. I was having a lot of fun drinking a glass of water and eating a slice of lemon. I got to see my friend out of jail and another friend was working at the bar, this made it feel very right and I felt a great sense of belonging and calmness. When trivia answers came in I actually got all the questions correct that I bothered to answer. This made me feel like I was probably doing a good job so far in all my struggled interactions with people.
<br>
<br>
My friend and I left the bar and walked around talking about his time in jail. I contemplated telling him I was tripping but decided not to. I didn’t tell anyone I was tripping the entire time. After he had to go home I went back to my house. On the way I realized I felt quite a lot better than I did before I went to the bar. I’m happy knowing that I knew earlier that distractions and time would make me feel normal again.
<br>
<br>
At home I spread out my mushrooms from earlier in the day properly to dry and did some bags. Another friend came over to visit me, we just had some good conversations and smoked a few joints. It was 8.5 hours now since the LSD, 7 since the AcO-DMT, I felt quite good and no longer had any difficulties in conversation or any pain in my arm. After my friend left I was quite tired, it felt like I had been through an ordeal, and I was very ready to go to sleep 11 hours after my initial dose. LSD usually is quite stimulating for me and keeps me awake long after I dose, while AcO-DMT and mushrooms allow for sleep (or a sleep-like state) even while still tripping. Whatever the case, the combination of the two allowed sleep to come easily. I laid in bed wishing my partner was there to cuddle then within a few minutes of laying down they texted me asking if I wanted to sleep together. I felt very happy about this and made arrangements to do so. I was hungry so I said I’d go to their house whenever they were done drinking so I could get food on the way. I fell asleep and they got quite drunk and forgot I was to go to them. This worked out ok because they showed up while I was asleep and woke me up and said nice things to me.
<br>
<br>
The next morning I awoke to find them not in my bed. I thought somehow I must have imagined them visiting but it felt too real. After I got out of bed I found them in another room. They were drunk and passed out while smoking some weed after they got home, all good. I feel very refreshed and happy this day.
<br>
<br>
It’s been over two weeks since the event. I have felt very good ever since. Getting goals accomplished and spending my time doing things I enjoy. New grow lights are on the way, I am going to learn the art of cannabis production and find a way of life that I enjoy. I also gained closure on a heavy trip earlier in the year that left me feeling a little strange the past months. A very healing trip. I don’t feel lost anymore.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2017</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111203</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 28</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 13, 2020</td><td>Views: 664</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111203&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111203&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">4-AcO-DMT (387), LSD (2) : Various (28), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
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<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
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<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">125 lb</td>
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<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
The bulk of my experience with psychedelics has been with mushrooms. I am, however, a regular user of cannabis (on and off) and I’ve had a few encounters with salvia as well as one experience with what I was told was 2C-E.
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<br>
I was dying to try LSD but had been deeply skeptical for purity reasons. I had always relied on mushrooms so I could be sure of what I was taking.
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<br>
A friend studying chemistry at a local university had obtained some pure acid from a friend he knew who had personally synthesized it. I made sure he put a couple tabs aside for me. He gave me two and I let them sit in a drawer for nearly 6 months, waiting until I felt I was “ready.”
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<br>
I had been feeling well and the reading I had been doing had me stoked on tripping again, so when a few other friends got some mushrooms and told me they wanted to trip I figured that now would be a good time to take my acid.
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<br>
We decided on A’s apartment as a setting. They ate their shrooms and I dropped my acid (single tab) around 11pm. I would have liked to taken it earlier in the night, but that’s how it played out and I didn’t have anything to do the next day, so I wasn’t bothered by the late start.
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We chilled in the living room talking and listening to music waiting for the drugs to kick it. The other guys started tripping 30 or 40 minutes later. I was still waiting for the acid to kick in.
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<br>
A little more than an hour had passed, and I still wasn’t tripping, although my body was getting shivers and my head felt slighter bigger and lighter. This could have been the acid or my nerves. I began to wonder if it would really work.
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<br>
About an hour and 30 minutes after dosing I realized I was finally starting to trip. My friends on shrooms were playing NHL and I started becoming very distracted by various light traces. The game graphics were beautifully detailed. Almost too much so. “How are you guys not distracted by the reflection on the ice from the stadium lights.” Laughter ensues. “I think I’m starting to trip.”
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<br>
I closed my eyes to check in on myself now that I could feel the drug kicking in. “This is acid.” I quickly felt a strong peace overcome me as I realized it was working and I could cut my attention from the room and direct it at my body and the visuals. Holy crap, the CEVs. These were not slimy or dark or creepy or crawly or solemn and religious like I was used to with mushrooms. There were shapes playing beneath my eyelids, but they didn’t seem to be focused on or reacting to my attention, which also seemed to be a characteristic of CEVs on mushrooms. They were bright and swirly, with definite shape and dimensionality. This was hugely impressive to me. I applauded them.
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<br>
I opened my eyes again after having relaxed into a new but not entirely unfamiliar psychedelic state. I spent some time enjoying the colors and waviness of the room. Every flat surface seemed to be embossed with floral and lattice patterns where there were none 20 minutes ago. Wood grains assumed they’re playful fluidity in the same way they do with mushrooms.
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<br>
The next thing my attention latched onto was the other voices in the room. A circle of people at the other end of the room (us three on psychedelics hadn’t yet left the couch) were playing Kings Cup (a drinking game). Every so often the group would erupt into bouts of yelling and laughter. This irritated me at first. “How obnoxious. I hate drunk people.” I found myself anticipating the silences between the voices and room noises. Silence suddenly felt like a hidden treasure; Something that had infinite possibility and room for thought and imagination in a state like this. When another tide of screaming came, however, I caught a wave of their intense joy. How much they were enjoying themselves. How deep those emotions for that moment. In the name of Dionysus I forgave their drunken fun and laughed at my impatience. It was, however, time to seclude myself. I wasn’t about to join the drinking game and I was sick of watching NHL, and there wasn’t a chance in hell they were getting off the couch. I put on my boots and my jacket and went outside for a walk.
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<br>
Best decision ever. Free from the pressure of being around others and immersed in the outside world, I was approaching ecstasy. It was a freezing cold night but I couldn’t be bothered by that. The trees seemed to be greeting me, dancing with the wind and my waviness. Without leaves they look like wiggly bundles of nerves, intensely alive and sensitive. The stars were hard to look at. I could get lost in cosmic thoughts. The rays of light from each star shot out, connecting with each and every other star, and then to my eyes, forming grids and patterns. I’m sure it means something to someone who can read these patterns. I’ve noticed this before on mushrooms. As the moon caught my attention, hanging low and yellow in the sky, it startled me. “Holy shit. That thing.” A fit of laughter ensues. “You bastard. You’re really out there.”
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<br>
I realized I must look really strange. I’d been standing at the end of the driveway for who knows how long in the middle of the night in the freezing cold, and was now laughing really hard while staring at the moon. I decided I should keep walking before someone called the cops. The snow felt amazing crunching under my feet. So detailed and fine-grained. The snow reflecting the street lights was another breathtaking sight. I spend so much time looking at this stuff with intense resentment. For being cold and getting in the way of everything. For clogging up the streets and piling on my car. But my god, is it beautiful when the light hits it.
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<br>
I didn't want to walk around, because there was so much to look at. I felt extremely silly walking when I knew I had nowhere to go or to be. Being still felt much more natural, but it probably looks strange. The thought about someone calling the cops hadn’t entirely left me, and it was really cold so I decide it was time I headed back inside anyway.
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<br>
My shrooming buddies were still on the couch, and A was playing youtube videos for them. They were seriously tranced out. I shut myself in A’s bedroom with his brother’s acoustic guitar (which I’m in love with). The room was super trippy as it is. It didn’t have a single fluorescent light in there. He had replaced every bulb with blacklights. This was wild. The blacklights didn’t have radiance or traceries like most other lights. They were like an ink that dyed everything in the room a strange deep purple, including my skin (maybe the shorter wavelengths gave the light a thicker characteristic? this is an afterthought). I liked it anyway.
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<br>
After sitting to warm up from being outside while enjoying some silence and some serious CEVs, I decided to play guitar. This is always a fun experiment on psychedelics. This was easily the peak of the night (app. 3 in the morning). The vibrations from the guitar filled the room and my body. Everything the sound touched seemed to be screaming with joy, demanding more music. Each note felt huge, and heavy, and utterly significant. A three note phrase contained more meaning, if I paid close attention, then a novel. I understood deeply, like I never had before, why music is so important. The importance isn’t in words and can’t be explained using them precisely because it is above and beyond words in its very nature. Besides life itself, it’s the ultimate zen koan. The only correct answer to “why is music important?” is to play it (or listen to it).
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<br>
I felt deeply grateful for being able to communicate this way (if only with the room at that moment). I had been given the gift of music from my inspirations and my teachers. I enjoy school and learning, but it all seems somewhat superficial compared to truly inspired music or art. It seems people are in school or other professions mostly to get something out of it. Usually money. Art isn’t about that. Art is for its own sake. This trip was an incredible reaffirmation of this for me.
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<br>
I finally decided to leave my trippy blacklight cave, put the guitar down, and check in with my other friends. The other guys still hadn’t left the couch. They were coming down. I was still tripping hard. We watched videos of Jimmy Fallon sketches. I must admit, I laughed my ass off. He’s funny as hell. This was good entertainment for a while, but it was getting late and everybody else was ready to go to bed (app. 4:30 in the morning). They made sure I was okay by myself (even though they know I like alone time when tripping) and they took off.
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<br>
After they left I went to the bathroom. I spent a very long time after that looking at myself in the mirror. This was a ton of fun. My face was shifting shape quite rapidly, and it seemed like I was in control of how I appeared to myself. If I wanted to, I could seem quite ugly and strange, but I could also see myself as extremely friendly and attractive. My skin was slightly see-through. It scared me but if I concentrated I could see my veins and muscle and even my skull through my skin. I then become very intimately aware of the different structures in my body, all while looking at my face in the mirror. It felt like a spotlight was being shown on my different bodily systems. I felt the intelligence in my body that I normally wasn’t aware of that maintained all the functioning in my body that I wasn’t consciously in control of. I was afraid that I might mess up this system if I was too consciously aware of it. I decided this is something I could experiment with on later trips if I wanted, but it scared me at the moment. Freaky stuff.
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<br>
I went back into the living room and did some stretches and meditation while I was coming down. This felt great and very natural. It was a relief to have normal consciousness creep back into my head and body. The come down after a long trip is actually one of my favorite parts if it’s peaceful. I drove home to sleep in my own bed at around 6:30am. I was still tripping very slightly (do not try to operate vehicles under the influence) but I felt very in control and alert so I wasn’t very worried. If I slept at all that morning it was very lightly. It was too much fun thinking about the experience from the night.
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<br>
All in all, it was a remarkably successful first encounter with the legendary Lucy. I’m so happy I have another tab.
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<br>
<!-- Thanks for reading. Happy journeys to you. --><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2014</td><td width="90">ExpID: 102660</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 22</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 16, 2020</td><td>Views: 617</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=102660&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=102660&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Various (28), Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2)</td></tr>
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</table>
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<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">300 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Pharms - Lithium</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(daily)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 glasses</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Beer/Wine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.25 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">160 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Cannabis __.25g_, LSD _approx. 400ug_, Alcohol __4 beers_ Lithium _300mg daily_
<br>
<!-- Long time reader, first time reporter.
<br/>
<br/>
-->To give you a little background on myself, I’m in my late 30s, male, well educated, designer, etc. I’m no stranger to drugs and mind altering substances and have been tripping semi-regularly since I was 17/18. I’ve never smoked crack, meth or shot heroin, but that’s about it. Oh, I’ve never tried PCP, but I’m not sweating that either. I’m quite active in the American dance music scene and as such, have at least the opportunity to party every weekend, if I desire. Drugs, it seems, are relatively normalized in my life and it's not unusual to lose a whole weekend with your friends, imbibing, snorting, dropping, etc. It’s just what we do and we are really good at it.
<br>
<br>
Sweet, right? Well, I also struggle with mental health issues, and have since I was in my early 20s. I’m undiagnosed, but show a pattern if bipolar behavior, but don’t exhibit traditional signs of “mania”. I get depressed tho, seriously. As such, I take lithium as a mood stabilizer. For whatever reason, I was unaware that lithium and LSD interact. I’ve tripped a number of times since being prescribed lithium (LSD, 1P-LSD, AL-LAD, DMT, 4-Aco-DMT, 2C-B, 2C-E) and never had an issue... until the other night.
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<br>
So called “Techno New Year” is coming up and I wanted to get a bunch of acid for the weekend. I ran into a friend at a club who said they could hook up quantity. I was looking for at least 20 tabs of blotter. A few days passed and I contacted my friend and they invited me over. “I dunno why,” they said “but everyone wanted acid this week. This is all I have left.” And they handed me a small bottle of Clear Eyes. “Shit,” I said, “Liquid?” “One hundred doses”, my friend replied. Well shit. Ok. I forked over the cash and we sat down for a light dinner, with wine’n’weed (twas the holiday of their people). Around 9pm I left to go to a club to hear a DJ I was interested in. I got there around 10pm, paid cover and went in. Now, at this point I was a little buzzed from the wine and a bit stoned. I’d say my spirits were high. I was super curious about this DJ, and super curious about this acid... I ordered another beer and posted up. A couple DJ friends arrived who I was glad to see. I laughingly told them that I picked up a vial of acid and that I was going to dip into the bathroom to blast off before the DJ really got going.
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<br>
Now, my recollection from here on out gets a bit hazy. I got into the bathroom and unscrewed the tiny bottle. I contemplated dropping it in my hand, then licking it up (like you are supposed to do) but I was in a strange and mischievous mood. Fuck it. I’m a pro. So I just squirted some into my mouth. Wowza. The taste of pure consciousness. Zap. I exited the bathroom with a smile on my face and rejoined my friends with a “thumbs up” sign. Let’s do this. Now, I know this sounds kinda dumb, but the DJ was going to play for 8 hrs and I wanted to basically be there for the duration. I was with friends who knew I was tripping. I had my phone and Lyft ready in case I needed to punch out. I think I was around 6/10 on the “responsibility” scale.
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<br>
About 15-20 min go by and the DJ was heating it up. Another friend shows up, and asks us if we wanna split a J outside. Now, I’ll admit that this was dumb, especially since said friend is known for smoking extremely powerful weed and lacing his joints with hash. A couple months prior I shared a joint with him and literally had to call a car and go home I got so blazed. So yeah. We went outside to smoke. Again, the memory banks are incomplete here. But according to one of my friends, we passed the joint around a couple times and by the third time I got it, I simply held it in my hand and stood motionless. A friend asked me if I needed the lighter, so which I apparently replied “Why?”. Oof. So yeah, the acid was kicking in. We went inside and hit the floor. By now, my vision was full fractal to the point of basically being unable to see. I’m honestly not sure if I was “dancing” or just squirming around. One of my friends decided he’s too stoned off that crazy joint and has to go home, so he calls a car. Hugs. Then an unknown amount of time passes and I go to the toilets. I presumably do my business and exit, but get stuck in the corridor that leads to the bathrooms. Now, there certainly wasn’t anything (in this universe) preventing me from leaving the hallway, but I was def trapped. After a while, some friends came looking for me and asked if I was ok and I gave ‘em the “thumbs up”. They proceeded to check on me every 30min for the next hour or so. Finally they were able to convince me that I didn’t need to be stuck and should go back to the dancefloor. Awesome.
<br>
<br>
At this point, the archive is effectively scrambled. Here’s what we do know; I have a recollection of leaving the club, and “calling a car”. This was an obvious impossibility because my phone was dead at this point. My theory is that I realized this and “decided to walk”. The club is approx. 12 miles from my home. It is cut off by rivers and freeways. It’s literally impossible to walk home. But that wasn’t going to stop me. I should note here that I wasn’t, or at least don’t recall, being frustrated or otherwise pissed by the (impossible) prospect of walking home. In fact, I saw it as a kind of adventure and had a good attitude about it. So far, no aspect of this trip has been “bad” or unpleasant, despite being totally consuming and intense. Rather, it seemed as if one reality was simply switched for another. Nbd, right?
<br>
<br>
I take off in some direction. Mind you, my phone is dead and I’m pretty unfamiliar with this part of town, so I doubt it was the “right” direction. My vision is still full fractal, but clusters of intensity described traffic, street lights, etc. so I wasn’t exactly blind. It was probably around 5am by now. After an unknown amount of time, I notice that the ground feels weird. I pause and look down at my feet. My motherfucking shoes are gone. “Oh well,” I thought to myself, “water under the bridge!” and continued on my quest. By now, I was in full ego-death territory. I was just blitzed, wandering through the streets like a zombie. I was probably smiling, tho. Very positive so far.
<br>
<br>
As the trip went on and my exploration continued, I began to get incredibly cold. My lizard brain suggested I take shelter. But this is a pretty inhospitable part of town. Very industrial. Rough. After some time, I managed to wander into a dirt parking lot where I noticed sheets of artificial turf piled up like blankets in the corner. Bingo! I wrapped myself in these makeshift “blankets” and snuggled down in the dirt. Awesome. I fell asleep for a couple hours.
<br>
<br>
I awoke warm, refreshed and still tripping, tho with considerably less intensity. I knew what my name was, at least. I checked my phone; dead. I check my wallet; bank card gone. Shit. Did I leave it at the club? And... where the fuck am I? I was wandering all night. I’m lost as fuck. Ugh. Today is going to suck. And what the hell? Where are my goddamned shoes? I arise from my dirt nap, pick a direction and start walking. My vision is still really ~~wavy and I’m doing the old “that’s not a word, is it?” acid thing. I come to the realization “swirlydinks” is not a word, although just “swinks” might be. I come upon a bodega. A lone outpost in the wasteland. I try to look semi sober and walk in to ask if they could charge my phone. This is a total long shot, but the dude behind the counter seems to know everyone in the shop and is joking around. I may have just lucked out. A kid buys some candy in front of me and the its my turn. Oh shit. I can’t really talk yet. “Yes, my friend?” the guy behind the counter asks, I manage to slur out the words “phone?” and “charge?” and hold out my now completely dusty phone. “Are you lost or something?” “Yeah, haha, need car.” He notices I’m not wearing shoes. He knows I’m a total degenerate. But it worked. As a thank you, I managed to find $2 in my bag and buy a juice. It was the right call. Things are looking up. After about 15 min the dude gives me my phone back and I fire up Google maps. As the app loads I steel myself for a nightmarish journey back to the club to recover my bank card. I wandered all night, I must be in a completely different... what the fuck? According to the app I was 2 blocks from the club. No way. Things are definitely looking up.
<br>
<br>
I stroll over to the club and notice that the side door is open. I pop in and see a bartender. I don’t think he noticed that I wasn’t wearing shoes, but generally the “get your card the next day” move is a dead giveaway that you are a degenerate, no matter how much acid you did or didn’t take. After a bit of searching, they found my card and cashed me out. I’d only purchased two beers. Sweet. Thrifty tripper. I inquired about my shoes as well and they said they hadn’t seen any black Nike slip-ons the night before. Fucking weird. I wonder what happened to those damn shoes. I thank the bartender and go outside to call a car. The neighborhood is pretty saturated with drivers and it only takes 2min to get a ride. The feeling of the black Honda accord pulling away from the broken curb was was of the most satisfying feelings I’ve ever experienced. I’m ALMOST home. The driver is quietly playing Bob Marley, and I’m totally not a fan, but in my lysergic haze, it worked. Everything is going to be alright. Damn. It really is. Driving down the freeway the skyline danced like flames. Unreal.
<br>
<br>
We arrive at my apartment and I profusely thank the driver and practically run into the building and dive into bed.
<br>
<br>
The next day, perplexed as why I was sooooooooo out of it, I was doing some research on LSD online and read about the potentially dangerous interaction with Lithium. Wow. I really dodged a bullet. Not only can it case total ego death on relatively small doses of LSD, it greatly increases the risk of potentially fatal seizures. Jesus. I guess that explains it.
<br>
<br>
I’m currently in the process of weaning myself off of the lithium. Aside from the obviously uncool interactions with LSD, it poses a number of other health risks and drug interactions. I’m simply not comfortable taking a drug that has so many side effects. <!-- However, I do not doubt that lithium is good medicine for some people, and if you do take it, by all means be careful with psychs. -->One thing I have noticed is that the information on acid and lithium is not nearly as prevalent as the information in say lithium and alcohol (which is also a no no). Its pretty standard boilerplate lingo to say pretty much any medical drug interacts with “street drugs” but I’ve always read that as like, heroin or PCP. Those of us who have a fondness for acid like to think of it as a relatively benign substance. However, my experience, although never “bad” could easily have landed me in the hospital, victimized or much worse. This is absolutely something I will never do again, and something that should be avoided at all costs.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2018</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111869</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 16, 2020</td><td>Views: 1,249</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111869&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111869&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 8:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/alprazolam/">Pharms - Alprazolam</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">165 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It has been a difficult week for me, most likely not the best time to be tripping but I head into the weekend with some good news and decide to commit to the trip. After a 4 year break up last December, I have been seething in negative energy that I need to work on. Not that I would think the xtal could fix this but perhaps point me in the right direction.
<br>
<br>
I dose with two friends at mid day, one I am close with and one who also may have his own issues to work through. We all commit to supporting each other for the next 12 hours.
<br>
<br>
0:00 - We each take ONE tab @ 100ug.
<br>
<br>
0:30 - I can already feel the effects, a sign that often leads me to believe I have just taken a strong dose. Feeling alert and happy.
<br>
<br>
0:45 - I am differently starting to trip, things are shifting and we are laughing uncontrollably. A fat man playing guitar appears in our youtube recommendations and we skip watching the video due to our fear of how large he is.
<br>
<br>
1:00 - I am tripping what I would considered 'hard' and starting to feel a bit overwhelmed knowing I am most likely 30 minutes from the peak. I ask if we can go outside and the cool air and sunny day immediately relieves me. Similar feelings of a previous trip induced panic attack start to set in so I let my group know who both comfort me and bring me back down to reality. I snap at one of my friends who confronts me and I tell him I am just scared. He hugs me and I apologize three times - each time making me feel better.
<br>
<br>
1:15 - Our driveway is alive and pulsing like a semiconductor, my friend encourages me to give in. I let go of all anxiety as a rush of LSD enters my brain. I am slowly starting to feel less like myself and more like the LSD.
<br>
<br>
1:30 - We move to our back patio where the true peak sets in. Our mossy stones come alive and I am memorized by their shifting patterns. My two friends lie down and I feel encouraged to follow as to not be left out.
<br>
<br>
1:45 - The most beautiful bliss I have ever experienced enters my entire body. I close my eyes and am thankful I am one of few humans on earth to have experienced this. I keep my eyes closed for what seemed like forever as patterns of red blue and green dragons swirl around my eyelids. I feel my friend start to be come overwhelmed and I encourage him to focus on breathing. He quiets.
<br>
<br>
2:00 - Something has changed. I am connected to something I have never felt before. I have tripped on numerous occasions and numerous psychedelics but never felt this odd presence of something or someone else. I lean to my closet friend and say 'this is not human'. Out of fear of sounding insane I refer to this as a feeling as transcendence and not as of god which my initial thoughts led me to believe. For an unknown amount of time I am connected and forget who I am and what I am doing. Only that this feeling exists in me and the world and it is beautiful and pure and white.
<br>
<br>
2:30 - We go to my room to play my record collection where I had the pleasure of showing them Aphex Twin Selected Ambient works. We have a long conversation about music, synths and other forms of art. My roommate walk in who is sober and we immediately banish him from the room.
<br>
<br>
3:00 - I realize I am still tripping hard but in total control, my friend says I have mastered the trip but we all end up agreeing that the strong peak we experienced has merely left us. We leave to go play our guitars.
<br>
<br>
3:30 - For an hour we each play our guitars together, the notes pour from my eyes like tears and I am having an amazing time. I am still experiencing heavy visuals. I pose a question to the group to see if they two had experienced the 'inhuman' presence' earlier. One of them immediate locks eyes with me and I know he understands. We both agree we need to reconnect with more LSD but a friend not with us advises me to never redose on LSD. I suddenly realize the madness of chasing the light and how dangerous this could be to someone with less guidance or mental will.
<br>
<br>
4:00 - I am glad I did not redose, I am still tripping extremely hard. We play more guitar and the notes come from my eyes like tears once again. My grin stretches the boundaries of my face as we lose ourselves in a soft improvised jam.
<br>
<br>
5:00 - I have arrived back into my own body while still having extreme visuals and psychedelic thoughts. We agree we MUST find the fat man video we saw earlier! How hard could it be to find a fat man playing guitar??
<br>
<br>
7:00 - Two hours. Two hours we have spent trying to find the fat man. He eludes us. I post a $60 bounty for the video on the internet in sheer desperation.
<br>
<br>
7:05 - A random man happens to see our post and knew what we were talking about. We gladly pay him the $60. He had just lost his job and needed the money for groceries. Such a stupid journey for such a stupid video made us feel whole and the trip complete. I wish the internet stranger the best of luck in life and he assures me he will be back on his feet soon.
<br>
<br>
7:10 - We watch the fat man video, who is actually an amazingly talented musician.
<br>
<br>
8:00 - I take a xanax to sleep and pose a question about if we had truly talked to god. One friend brushes me off but the other tells me we should talk the next day. He leaves and mentions that he needs to finish his 'self jihad' alone which I completely understood.
<br>
<br>
8:30 - Things are winding down, one friend continues to take various drugs and drinks and I no longer feel connected with him. I find my cat and tell him we both have a lot of work to do to fix my issues. He meows and asks for food which I take as a sign of agreement. I go online and set my first therapist appointment of my life for next weekend.
<br>
<br>
It is now the next day. I do not feel as I normally do after tripping. Lower doses or lower quality (what have you) of LSD have normally answered my questions and left me refreshed. Today I have millions of questions about what I experienced and what was real. I have no desire to return there any time soon but know I will one day. What a truly mind bending and amazing experience.
<br>
<br>
I have briefly spoken to my friend and we both are hesitant and scared to discuss what we had experienced, I assure him that ego death is real and that we have not lost our minds.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2020</td><td width="90">ExpID: 114930</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 27</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 17, 2020</td><td>Views: 555</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=114930&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=114930&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Mystical Experiences (9), Music Discussion (22), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">500 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dxm/">DXM</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I went camping last weekend. I had planned to drop 5 hits of acid, but my friend didn't come through for me. I ended up only having 1 hit, but it was of fairly strong quality. I dropped it at about 10:30 pm. My friend and I were leaving at 11:00. On our way out to the lake, we stopped by the local drugstore and bought some coricidins and Robitussin.
<br>
<br>
We got to the lake at about 11:30. After we got all of our shit unloaded and walked the 1/4 mile to the site, we started the Robitussin. I held my nose and took a huge swig. My friend only had a little drink. For about 15 minutes we walked around with a bunch of drunk people. Then I took another huge swig, which took the bottle to a little under half full. I was feeling pretty weird by this point. I started losing my balance, so I decided to lay down. I staggered my way over to my sleeping bag and fell to the ground and put my head on it.
<br>
<br>
Just a few minutes later I was in a world of my own. There were melting colors, vortexes, about 5 or 6 different tunnels that I fell through, a hallway composed of black fractal patterns, with doors and windows on the sides, and my view kept shifting... I would see behind me, see a side view of me running full speed, a front view, and I could actually feel myself running. After the hallway disappeared, I turned into a corkscrew... I felt my legs and arms start twisting. And eventually my whole body was turning over and over, but I was actually laying flat on the ground.
<br>
<br>
I had an out of body experience where my mind left my body, and I saw myself from a full frontal view <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">my mind left my body, and I saw myself from a full frontal view</div></div>... I had the thought 'Why was this body singled out for me? Why do we even have to have bodies? Why cant our mind's just exist? What is our purpose?' Afterwards, there was a room that I was in, with colors running down the walls, dripping from the ceiling. All this happened within an hour, while I was laying on the ground.
<br>
<br>
I started to come down afterwards, and I was finally able to open my eyes. I sat up, with everything swaying, with double vision, and looked at the fire... the light from it only reached a certain point in the woods, and it seemed that the only place that existed was that point in the woods, where only the light touched, and that we were the only people in the world. It seemed like the fire was the center of the universe and everything else was radiating out from it.
<br>
<br>
Me and 2 of my friends sat in a triangle for a while, like we had a mental connection because we were all tripping, and talked about weird shit for a while. A few hours later, I was completely down. It gave me a new respect for life, and actually a new respect for just being able to move around. DXM completely fucks up my coordination. I feel like I've grown a lot from this experience... like I'm a new person. I feel new. So, DXM and LSD is a combo that I recommend<!-- , if you can handle it. Just be careful with it -->.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2001</td><td width="90">ExpID: 9772</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 7, 2020</td><td>Views: 1,427</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=9772&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=9772&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">DXM (22), LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), General (1), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">480 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dxm/">DXM</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">64 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Chlorpheniramine Maleate</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">250 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
First some basic info: I was 18 at the time. Pretty overweight at 250lbs, standing 6 feet Tall. I was in poor physical shape, then.
<br>
<br>
I had been abusing DXM spontaneously. Robitussin had become too disgusting for me, so I got hooked on coricidin. Yeah, I heard it's dangerous, but I'm a light dexer, so I figured it would be allright for me. It was a shitty trip, but I did it anyway. I think I was addicted.
<br>
<br>
Anyhow, the night of terror begun on April 16th, 2000. Me and a friend planned to go to a semi-local rave and locate some good old 'cid. I had been dying to try LSD for 2 years, I was pumped. I figured, there's a slim chance of us finding it, so I bring some good ol' coricidin with me.
<br>
<br>
<!-- Big mistake.
<br/>
<br/>
-->After about an hour, we had given up on finding acid, so I go in the bathroom and choke down 16 coricidin. And when I come out, I hear 'hey, I found it dude, go talk to the guy over there'. I can't resist. If I don't do acid now, will I ever? So I buy 3 hits of liquid LSD from this scraggly looking fellow for a good 14$. Down the hatch it goes.
<br>
<br>
I'm going around the party, just chilling out for a while, waiting for the drugs to kick in. After about 45 minutes, I'm starting to feel the coricidin, and it's quite heavy. Each bass drum thump of the music vibrates through me, tickling my molecules. For some reason, I feel the impulse to hand out all of the candy I've brought, telling people 'here, I gotta get rid of this. I'll be on the floor in a couple minutes' or 'dude, trust me, there's drugs in this' :) <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I feel the impulse to hand out all of the candy I've brought, telling people 'here, I gotta get rid of this. I'll be on the floor in a couple minutes' or 'dude, trust me, there's drugs in this' :)</div></div>
<br>
<br>
At about 60 minutes, I sit down, definitely starting to feel the acid. My vision and psyche go down the vortex first. Everything I was seeing in reality started going into this vortex, and I had these strange thoughts that would bounce off each other. If I had a positive thought, another thought would enter my mind that was negative. It was like, there was this little demon that would mock everything I thought. It was the start of a terrible trip.
<br>
<br>
At 70 minutes, my senses started going away. I can faintly remember people trying to coerce me .. 'are you okay?' 'dude.. you must be fryin' balls' 'do you need some water?' .. I was fading in and out of consciousness up until 90 minutes.
<br>
<br>
I can't remember anything for the next 2 hours. People report that I was shaking uncontrollably, not responding, had pure black irises, etc etc.. Apparently some kind soul called 911 after a long period of time of me sitting there.
<br>
<br>
Apparently I was psychotic and the room I was in had to be fenced off. There were policemen and EMT's all about me. I guess I was going violent on them. They had me fully strapped down to a hospital bed. Even my neck, I think, was strapped.
<br>
<br>
I don't know what point I woke up, but it must have been real late. In the hospital I went through different periods of being 'asleep' and tripping insanely (having hallucinations so strong that I couldn't see anything with my peripheral vision). They had me on 150 cc's (I guess that's a lot, a nurse told me) of valium to slow my heart down.
<br>
<br>
So more hours pass. I become sober enough to answer basic questions like 'did you try to commit suicide' and 'what's your address'? This was very degrading. I was hating myself so much. The acid was tapering off, and I could see floaty colors and hear echoes. I had a nurse take off some of my restraints. I could tell that she didn't trust me, but she did it anyway. I inspected myself and found many bruises about my arms.
<br>
<br>
The next day, here's what I found out. My heart was pounding away at 100-160bpm when they found me, and I was lucky to be alive. I can only imagine how long my heart sustained damage. Almost 3 hours, before the EMT's found me. Fucking shit. My heart is gone. They kept me at the hospital for another day, with a catheter in me, and an iv hooked to my arm. I think it was potassium, or some sort of diuretic. The doctors asked more questions. I think a nurse told me that the police wanted to talk with me. That put me on edge.
<br>
<br>
Another day passed. I had fully recovered mentally. I did not know why they were keeping me. I was told it was the doctor's orders. One of the nurses is actually compassionate. She gives me some words of wisdom: 'stop doing drugs.. I did that when I was young, turn on to meditation instead..' Unfortunately I never followed that advice.
<br>
<br>
Day 3.. They let me out. I had to call my mother to pick me up. I had to explain what happened. I made my mother cry. The bill was pretty big. The hospital charged me 800$. <!-- and my
<br/>
Family had no insurance for me. I toly my parents that I would pay
<br/>
This off myself as it was my mistake. I finally got a job, and a
<br/>
Life because of this. I stopped being such a hermit, which is a
<br/>
Positive thing, I guess. But working at a fast food restaraunt for
<br/>
5 months and doing computer repair on the side isn't the most fun
<br/>
Thing in the world.
<br/>
-->
<br>
<br>
Afterwards I was not the same, mentally and physically. I'm almost 20, now, and I've got the heart of a 50 year old. I haven't seen a doctor, but I think I should. Ever since leaving the hospital, I've had a pulse that's a little higher than normal, constantly, and my heart seems to beat harder than it should when I'm exercising.
<br>
<!--
<br/>
I haven't touched coricidin since then, and stopped doing DXM entirely a year ago ( mostly because of the brain damage it does.
<br/>
My verbal circuits are sort of fried. )
<br/>
<br/>
You know when you have nightmares, and you wake up in the middle
<br/>
Of the night and your heart goes fast? Mine goes really fast. I
<br/>
Feel like I am soon to die. I hope this serves as a warning to
<br/>
Anyone considering combining coricidin with *anything*! --><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 11325</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 8, 2020</td><td>Views: 2,476</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=11325&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=11325&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">DXM (22), LSD (2), Chlorpheniramine Maleate (164) : Various (28), Post Trip Problems (8), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Health Problems (27), Combinations (3), First Times (2)</td></tr>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">225 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I find it hard to write about what has happened to me in the short course of about five months but I know talking about it helps so maybe writing about it will also help.
<br>
<br>
After my first bad trip I should have known not to trip again but I suppose the agony of my current delusional and panic stricken state is the price I pay for being fooled twice.
<br>
<br>
My first bad experience occurred in September 2007. I was coming home from my girlfriend's dorm up at her college writing a book about 'the perfect state' of the universe and how everything happened for a reason. I was in a philisophical mode so I decided it would be a good idea to take some strong acid that night. Granted I had had experience with mushrooms on many occasions and was an avid smoker of marijuana but I had only tried 'bunk' acid before and the only overwhelmingly strong trip I had previously was when I broke through on Salvia.
<br>
<br>
The trip started pretty nicely, as I heard most bad trips do. I was listening to music on my girlfriend's Ipod and felt pretty incredible. I am pretty sure I sat up at one point and said to my friends 'Guys this is incredible!' But slowly I started having a flashback to my experience with salvia. I felt as if somehow, the two trips were related. All of my friends started to change around me and I felt as if they were demons.
<br>
<br>
It was as if I was stuck in limbo. My one female friend seemed to embody my mother, the dark side of my yin and yang, my nurturer, and my other friend was the white side, active, impatient, exuberant. They each seemed to posses their own way of wanting to have me die in the long run. On was anxious and willing for me to run into death, the other wanted to lull me into death. Eventually they calmed me down and I was able to chain smoke myself to sleep.
<br>
<br>
I got over that trip well enough. In between this trip and the real meat of this essay I had a mushroom trip, my first bad one, in which I felt I was being lead to hell and I had to find heaven. Not so good of a trip but I also got over that one. Did I stop? Of course not.
<br>
<br>
My final trip is of the LSD variety. Once again it started wonderfully. I was watching an episode of Oprah that was on at midnight for some reason. Jerry Seinfeld's wife was on the show and sharing cooking recipes. She looked beautiful to me. Angelic almost. I looked at her and thought to myself that she would never hurt me. Hurt me? Why was I thinking about things trying to hurt me? My two male friends C and K were absent from the room when I was coming up (good friends right?) and I was losing myself in myself gradually. They came back a while later only to freak me out of my mind. C kept asking me questions about how I thought sound worked as he patted on a speaker. I could have sworn I heard sounds start to come out as he patter. K just looked weird to me but often said things that made me feel comfortable. C was the one that really personified the devil for me that night. But at the same time K looked so godawful to me.
<br>
<br>
As the night waned on through eternity I could not decide what I should do. I ran out of there house. I ran up and down the street seeking heaven. Eventually people started coming out of their homes to go to work but I thought it was all the work of the demons to make me feel rediculous in my pursuit of heaven. I eventually mustered up the courage to walk past a house with a cackling witch on it (Halloween decorations were up) and a man with a dog came out of his house. As I passed them I walked into the brightest light I have ever walked into in my life. I felt as if I had died, but it was beautiful. Everything made sense to me. I could feel beautiful and free. However my human side must have gotten scared for suddenly I was facing the other way again and looking at K. He assured me I was ok and said he was scared for me.
<br>
<br>
They eventually took me home where I sat up for a day feeling as though I was rotting like an onion (I hadn't bathed in almost four days and felt as if I was crumbling from the outside to my core). it was interesting enough that I saw two different cooking shows involving the peeling of onions while I sat in my house vibrating in fear. I tried to watch cartoons to calm myself down, I tried to watch news, anything familiar and calm, everything seemed to be sending me messages.
<br>
<br>
I ended up stayin up for a total of 96 hours. By the day after I got home my mom and grandmom decided to take me to a hospital. I could absolutely not sleep in the hospital and was given nothing along the lines of thorzine (possibly to my benefit). From the hospital I went to a rehab so I could stop doing all the drugs I had been doing previous to these bad trips. I finally got to shower and think I eventuall got to sleep.
<br>
<br>
Even though I feel I get somewhat rested to this day I still wonder if I am actually even sleeping at all. I have paranoid delusions and see a therapist weekly. I have been put on risperdal and a slow release form of it to take in the mornings named invega. I pray this has all been a bad dream that I can still wake up from. I hope I am on no perma trip into eternity. I feel as if I am getting better daily but still try to keep myself inside a lot. I feel as though for now it is a punishment that fits the crime. I tried to get outside of myself for too long and almost fully ate that proverbial 'forbidden fruit' and felt god in full. I hope something saved me and brought me back here and will eventually fully restore me. Panic attacks are one thing to be dealt with but the mentality that everything is a plot to destroy or maintain you eternally is a whole nother thing. I pray I am not choosing heaven or hell right now in writing this and if I am choosing one I hope it is heaven, even just metaphorically speaking. I thank <!-- this website-->experience reports for insight into other people's experiences who have had similar awakenings and eventually recovered. <!-- I hope to give hope to anyone else in a delusional state, YOU TRULY ARE NOT ALONE! Be strong, be brave, I know god has the power to rescue us all.-->
<br>
<br>
Out of all this I am sure I will become a better man for certain. I have stopped using drugs, I go to NA when I am not too distraught, I have already quit cigarettes, and am currently in the process of finding who I need to be to make god proud. I was formerly a strict daoist but now I am leaning towards catholicism. I know it can be a bit strict but <!-- we all-->I need someone/something to be there as <!-- our-->my saviour sometimes and who better than Christ and what better tool than his love? <!-- God bless you all, especially anyone who relates to me. -->
<br>
<br>
LSD has taught me a lot but it has also left me somewhat empty. I hope to restore that space. LSD is not something to be toyed with. <!-- Be wise in all you do in life and good luck! May you find god, because he has found you and is always with you!--><!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2007</td><td width="90">ExpID: 68440</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 9, 2020</td><td>Views: 704</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=68440&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=68440&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Post Trip Problems (8), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">5 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Pharms - Aripiprazole</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(daily)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">125 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<!-- Possible SSRI attenuation
<br/>
<br/>
I'm seeking information regarding the possible interaction between SSRIs and psychedelics. There seems to be little information, but my experience indicates the possibility of a decrease in effect.
<br/>
<br/>
-->I have been on only 5mg/day of Abilify for the past 2 years. In that time I have eaten a 1g psilocybin edible, 8g mystery variety mushrooms, and 5g Golden Teachers. Each time I experienced a noticeable increase in body temperature, some visual patterns and, on the 8g, a change in perception/thinking. Kind of like the fuzzy, goofy feeling I got the first time I ever tried a couple hits of weed as a teenager.
<br>
<br>
Nine summers ago I had access to all the Blue Ringer mushrooms I wanted and I ate them, in excess, likely 8 or more grams per sitting, every week. My trips were what I describe as "dark and drippy." Fluid, vibrant, everything I saw took on extreme detail seeming to hold every color all at once, facial features crawled around their owners' heads, constellations battled - I truly Tripped. Now I just don't. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I truly Tripped. Now I just don't.</div></div> At all. My husband believes we're getting low potency products, and we have had random sources. My previous experience was very controlled.
<br>
<br>
This year I have had access to large quantities of LSD. I started with 200 mics and had favorable response. At 100 mics my experience varies from time to time. Occasionally eating just one hit seems to have almost no effect. I have taken to consuming 500-1500 mics when given the opportunity and the only oddity there is that, even at "heroic doses" I can go to sleep that night and wake up just fine. Those around me report 16 hour trips, not being able to move at high doses, extreme confusion, waking up still tripping.
<br>
<br>
I had someone tell me I could "just really handle acid." I figured there must be some more scientific explanation<!-- , but the only thing I seem to come up with is the SSRI. Would a dose as low as my 5mg interfere at this level? Who has that answer? Or is this still a pretty unknown subject? Any input would be greatly appreciated-->.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2019</td><td width="90">ExpID: 113596</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 16, 2020</td><td>Views: 1,129</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=113596&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=113596&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Pharms - Aripiprazole (422), LSD (2) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Combinations (3), Unknown Context (20)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(edible / food)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 6:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">250 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">200 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I am an experienced psychonaut who has slowed down as I've gotten older but continue to make at least one pilgrimage a year with my best friends where we take a trip together. We had gotten a nice stash of LSD and MDMA for the trip and I was excited to hike and adventure with what I expected to be a relatively mild LSD trip and a nice hearty MDMA dose. We stayed in a cabin with a hot tub which I was particularly looking forward to enjoying while rolling. We took the acid around noon and went outside for a hike to some waterfalls while it was pretty rainy and cold. I also had taken about 30 mg of THC in the form of weed peanut butter before heading out. I love being outside and being physical while I come up so I was feeling really good but not feeling super high even 1.5 hours after taking the dose. I remember saying 'hmm, I wonder if I should take more when we get back' and my friend said 'I don't know about you, but I'm tripping really hard.' As we turned around to start heading back to the car I noticed I felt slightly outside of my body, like I was dissociating. I remember feeling like my equilibrium was really off, and that I was going to fall. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I remember feeling like my equilibrium was really off, and that I was going to fall.</div></div> I was cognizant that I was tripping and remarked on this novel feeling - I don't remember ever having a feeling like this on acid before. It was like I was almost about to float out of myself. The visuals were nice but not overwhelming. I didn't have trouble communicating. But I kept feeling like I was about to float away.
<br>
<br>
After coming back to the cabin I got in the hot tub for a quick dip and was in heaven. We were all hanging out about 5 or 6 hours into the trip, feeling good, but still having that recurring dissociative feeling. I remember a few of my friends saying they felt similarly, which we all thought was a bit odd. I was able to play a decently complex card game so I was pretty lucid even with this out of body sensation still occurring. At around 9pm we decided to take our molly dose. We had weighed out about .4 for each person and I definitely didn’t take all of mine, but I took a little more than half, and did it all at once. Almost right away I started coming up FAST. According to my friends it was really intense right away. At this point I ended up pretty much dissociating. I know I decided I wanted to be in the hot tub so I got in while my friends kept partying. I have no recollection of the hot tub at all. I was in complete ecstasy. According to my friends I was thrashing around in the water, making movements with my arms and legs, and saying sentence fragments. It was like being back in the womb. I was in there for at least an hour until my friend was able to pull me out. I remember talking to her when she came to ‘rescue me’ from the hot tub. I remember at this point having a decently coherent conversation. After that we walked around the neighborhood as I floated in and out of my body. I felt an incredible rush of joy and gratitude for my friendships but wasn’t able to communicate much. I slowly faded and woke up on the couch around 7am before I went to my own bed. Apparently I was putting my arm up in the air every couple of minutes, saying a sentence fragment, and then fading out of awareness. I don't really remember any of this.
<br>
<br>
The next day I was covered in bruises from thrashing around the hot tub. My friends said they had never seen me that high before, and I agreed. It’s still a huge mystery. I’ve regularly taken larger doses of molly and LSD but this was entirely on another level. The comedown was intense, my husband and I were extremely emotional and moved to tears by extremely mundane things. I was genuinely terrified I broke my brain but after a good night’s sleep and about a day and a half I was back to normal. Still have no idea how I managed to get that high and would love insight - maybe the hot tub dehydrated me to the point the molly was more intense? Maybe the LSD was extra strong or had some other substance? Maybe being isolated in a pandemic for 9 months made everything more powerful? I have no idea but also, no regrets.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2020</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115028</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Not Specified</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 32</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 21, 2020</td><td>Views: 1,145</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=115028&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=115028&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Sweating (341), MDMA (3), LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 drop</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(edible / food)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/oxycodone/">Oxycodone</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/naloxone/">Naloxone</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">70 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It was a Sunday afternoon. I had just gotten home from a family lunch and was on the couch, chopping a mix (I live alone). I had eaten the last of my MDMA and 2CB-LSD on Friday night, but I was tempted to take my last, glittery, LSD gummy bear. After a quick deliberation I grabbed it and chewed on the vaguely bitter lolly, thinking that it probably wouldn't do too much since I still had stuff in my system from Friday.
<br>
<br>
Scrolling through youtube and watching videos, not much was happening at the hour mark. I punched a few cones to bring it on a bit and, shortly after, the trip began to come on. Well, not a trip so much as an experience.
<br>
<br>
The first thing I really felt strongly was the waves running through my body, beautiful vibrations seemingly coming from a narrow point inside and flaring out. Switching my system over to Spotify, I threw on a playlist and began to lose myself in the music. The rise in my chest was centred by the lightness of my entire being, as if I was phasing in and out. When I closed my eyes, shapes and patterns and the usual geometric tunnel that I often see sprung to life, pulling me deeper into the trip - I was having a great time.
<br>
<br>
This is the bit that makes it worth me telling. As I went deeper into the space, and my closed-eye visuals became more intense, I slowly began to arch my back and spread my limbs as far as I could, the tension of just stretching a liittle too far pulsating nicely through my body. I wasn't really aware I was doing it, but I wouldn't say I was unaware either. I was just more focused on the euphoria, and following the tunnel beneath my eyelids. As I arched, though, I began to feel this fiery energy in my core that was incredibly empowering. It felt alive, and this energy was slowly, slowly, beginning to radiate out of me. The more I arched, the wider the ball seemed to get - and then I noticed something odd.
<br>
<br>
As weird as it sounds, it felt like, growing in my belly, was a vagina. As I stretched, it grew and opened, like a flower blooming. As it did the fire flared and, as my arch reached its apex, seemed to spread right across my body in a surge of heat. I recall it seemed to feel like it was going outwards also. I was really peaking by this point, so my memory gets a tad fragmented.
<br>
<br>
Some time later, after laying and radiating with this pulsating energy, I began to come back into my body. My neck was sore, and I was very fatigued - although my mind began to race. I started tensing up and, seeing the direction I was heading, decided to go and have a shower. After getting distracted with household chores and various other things I washed myself clean to complete what I was now starting to understand as something of a rebirthing ritual. The shower was amazing. I laughed at the similarity to the Christian/Catholic process of baptism, being an "other" myself - funny, how everything is just a different way of saying the same phrase, of telling the same story. I reflected, and had a minor eureka, on my motives for having tattoos: having struggled significantly with self-harm and self-care throughout life, having beautiful artwork on my skin, that also tells a story and marks a time in my life, makes me appreciate my body. Makes me clean the temple. Makes me care. I reflected on the duality of this, and how I am both at the same time.
<br>
<br>
Then things got a bit janky. I became very cold and tense, and my neck and back pain was getting more and more full on. I took a few targin (oxycodone) to take the edge off and parked myself in my computer chair with a cuppa and a blanket to watch tv. I laughed at how noble reality tv pretends to be and, though with a LOT of pain, eventually managed to loosen my muscles.
<br>
<br>
It was a bit of a height to fall from, but not as bad as I'd expected, and I spent a lot of time reflecting on my experience over the next few days. Obviously there are a LOT more details to this experience but, for the sake of brevity and being my first submission, I chose to focus on the main lesson I managed to extract: the cycle. This trip, unexpectedly, served as a much needed reminder of the samsara: the endless knot: ouroborous: life and death. Life and rebirth. For all my experiences, I never thought I'd say I had a vagina on my stomach - but now I can.
<br>
<!--
<br/>
Be well, all x--><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2020</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115013</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 27</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 25, 2020</td><td>Views: 810</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=115013&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=115013&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Yoga / Bodywork (202) : General (1), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 drop</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 4:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 - 3 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">vaporized</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(extract)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">235 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
At the point of taking this substance, I was at a much better place than I had been in years. Feeling happy, joyful and relaxed. I still am, partly due to the experience talked about it this text.
<br>
<br>
I was in Nashville, TN from the eighth to the sixteenth of the month of February. I was over there visiting my boyfriend, staying at his house that he shares with his roommates. The experience occured on the twelfth. I had known there was a possibility that I would get to do this substance prior to the start of my visit, in fact, I knew months prior. I had no anxiety about it, there was no negative emotion surrounding the idea of the possibility. If anything, I was excited. Happy, in fact. I had researched this substance for the better part of two years before this opportunity, and I felt like I was ready, and if any time was a good enough time, it would be now. Being with the person that I love the most in the world.
<br>
<br>
The day before I dropped it, he and I went to the store to get snacks and such for the trip. Chips and peach gummies for the both of us, water for me, and he got an energy drink for himself. We wanted to be prepared as much as we could be.
<br>
<br>
My mindset was very relaxed. I didn't worry. I didn't think about the possibility of it becoming a bad trip, nor did I agonize over "what ifs." My reasoning for doing so was the idea that if I did, it would probably encourage such a negative train of thought.
<br>
<br>
At 11:55AM on that Wednesday, I asked him (I'll call him John) to put it on my tongue. He did so, as per my request. I started playing Final Fantasy 7 for a little bit. Right after you blow up the first reactor, after you get off the train, that is where I saved and quit.
<br>
<br>
Not feeling anything yet, we started watching the first few episodes of Neon Genesis Evangelion, an anime. Around the fourth episode of that, I started noticing it. My interest in it completely went away. After the first disc (four episodes) ended, we turned that off and I began feeling the LSD coming on more and more. By this time, it was T+ 2 hours. He brought in all of the snacks and such that we bought the day before and I picked up the bottle of water that he got for me. I remember holding it in my hand, turning it over and back up and over and back up, thinking, wondering, if this was the soul; if this was what the soul was. I asked him and he said, "Well, we /are/ mostly water." That stuck with me. It was to be a rainy day, too, and I thought that was a sign.
<br>
<br>
He went onto YouTube on his PS4 and he asked me if I had ever heard of this band called Heilung. I told him I thought I had, and I had indeed. He had saved a live version of one of their songs, Kriegsgaldr. He put that on, and I found that song was to be such a guide for me. That performance was very moving. A pure, tribal, welcomed cacophony of droning and throat-singing, combined with the melodic vocals of a female, who brought the performance together. I was guided deeper to the beginning of Ego Loss by this performance. And it was so easy. The experience hadn't started removing my body from the ego at this point, but I was insanely close to achieving Ego Loss.
<br>
<br>
A few moments of doing nothing but being with each other and being content in each other's company passed. I asked if he had heard about anybody on acid ever having visualized a wire while on this substance. He said he had not. In utter disbelief, I asked "Are you serious... Jesus Christ??" I had been visualing a fleshy wire, with a weight somewhere on it, strained absolutely to the point of snapping at any moment, and I realized that was consciousness. I plan on painting that visual.
<br>
<br>
He asked me if I wanted to go downstairs to get some leftover pizza that we had ordered the day before. The thought of doing something at all, doing anything, was very foreign to me. It was alien. I even greatly criticized the act. I said, "o...kay?" Somewhat apprehensive, I got up from his bed that we were sitting on, in his room (we were in his room for the majority of this whole trip), and when I got up, I could feel everything. I could feel all of my body, my flesh, my organs, touching itself and themselves. I started moving my body sensually as I stood in his room, the feeling of my clothes on my flesh bringing a pleasurable sensation. This heightened sense of touch persisted throughout the whole trip. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">This heightened sense of touch persisted throughout the whole trip.</div></div> I followed John downstairs. He led me over to the backyard door, onto the veranda so I could experience being outside at least once. It was overcast and gray. Mixed with the cool brown and sable of the dead leaves and trees that are prevalent in the wintertime, it was a very calming day... yet, it was much more than normal, of course. After I came back inside, we went to the kitchen.
<br>
<br>
Before we got our pizza, as he was heating it, he went over to his table and picked up a pineapple and walked over to me and handed it to me. When he handed it to me, I started laughing giddily. Not at the pineapple particularly, even though it did look funny and a little bit of my laughter was directed to it as an object, but mostly I was laughing at the very fact that he brought it over to me to hold. I think that point was what started Ego Loss. (And oh, how precious that was.)
<br>
<br>
We went back upstairs to his room and I said "we have no medium of reference to tell what consciousness is, but we have a frame of reference to tell what the body is..." or something like that. I looked outside, up at the sky, and had a sudden shattering realization. The weight of the universe came down on me, in that instant. I realized that the body that my awareness inhabited was nothing more than... A rare commonality made up of other nothings. Stardust. And that idea made me say, "Oh..." There was nothing more to say than that. It destroyed any sense of importance that I had built up of, and in, myself. And I found myself to be okay with this realization. My thoughts started whizzing by. I said "I can see why this can be very difficult for some people. This can be a lot to take in at once."
<br>
<br>
At that point, I think I went to the bathroom, if the placement of my memories of the trip serves me correctly. I had remembered people had said not to look at the mirror. So I looked at the mirror, as one would, of course. And I did not think of the person in the mirror as being me. It was a very comforting sensation, because although I knew it was me, it didn't feel like it was. I exchanged a knowing glance to the person behind the mirror as I washed my hands, and by God, it warmed my heart. I knew the person in the mirror knew everything I knew. I knew that person, separate from the life experience that is and was "me", knew my whole life experience from first memory to the present moment. It was a very precious moment. I went back out of the bathroom and into John's room.
<br>
<br>
He had a cartridge of vapable cannabis extract saved for this occasion, so I had a puff or three of that around this time. T +4.
<br>
<br>
I had told him I had wanted to listen to the whole Tool canon on the substance and he suggested we start doing that, but yet again, doing something felt alien, but I didn't feel any reason to object. He put on Opiate on YouTube. I picked up a piece of my pizza, feeling of it in my hand and the concept of eating was weird. The pizza felt like flesh in my hand. Like it was alive. At this point, I was peaking. I was not there at this point. The body ate a bite of the pizza.
<br>
<br>
I said to him, "This breaks down things, doesn't it?" and he agreed with me. I chuckled a little and asked him "What, are you just gonna agree with everything I say?" Looking back, that seems harsh, but I know he understood where I was coming from in the moment. I can't remember what he said at that point but it was something like "No... I felt like that when I was on it." Opiate finished and we went on to Undertow. John held me and laid me down next to him and we cuddled while Undertow was playing. I thought to myself "You are still thinking, you need to let go. Let go. L e t g o." I didn't go to sleep, but I was closing my eyes. I started feeling that I was not me, but I was, and had always been, John. I felt that my whole consciousness had been inside John's body this whole time, throughout my entire life. Even some of my memories played out before me, and where I was, he took my place. John's body was where I had been in the memories that played, and I was living out those memories as him.
<br>
<br>
I felt there was a white light enveloping everything in the room. There were no shadows, no colors other than white, except for his eyes. I visualized him just sitting on the bed, looking at me, or rather, looking at a point of view that I was seeing out of. Just bathed in white. It was not uncomfortable, it was not bright, nor blinding, just a pure white, but this awareness-experience that was experiencing things could tell the outlines of every object, and so, could tell what things were.
<br>
<br>
I opened my eyes. We cuddled and I was looking up at the popcorn ceiling periodically, seeing spirals and fractals going around the ceiling. Reds and blues and greens were dominating the edges of things, shining. Colors were much more vivid. Things breathed. Even as I gazed at my hand, it was breathing. I looked at the wall, and it was shifting and expanding, moving and bending in some places. Undertow ended before I knew it.
<br>
Then, we put on Ænima.
<br>
<br>
While we were listening to Ænima, right in the middle of "Forty-six &amp; 2," John's roommates knocked on his door. We paused the song, he got up and answered it. They said they were going out to eat and asked John if he could deal with the internet guy downstairs, because they had called their internet provider about some problems they were having and they sent a guy out. Right here, I am glad that the trip didn't take a downward turn, because it could have. I was not worried at all. I felt very safe. John went downstairs, promising me he wouldn't be gone long, and I just lay on his bed, looking up at the popcorn ceiling. The spirals upon cubic spirals upon prolapsing cubic spirals that I witnessed were quite a sight to behold. He came back up before the guy left, just to check on me, and he went into his closet, brought out a lot of plushies, and arranged them on the bed, around me, in such a way that I was basically in a cuddle pile, with only my face exposed. Just for reference, I am a very cuddly person. I looked over at him when he finished, and he was looking at me. I said "I love you so much." That was a very profound and precious thing that he did for me.
<br>
<br>
He went back downstairs and dealt with the internet guy for the next 10-15 minutes while I just kept on staring at the ceiling. It had a single light in the middle, one of those nipple lights, you know the ones I mean. I started to faintly make out a blue orb shape thing, surrounded by a grey backdrop. I plan on painting that as well. After just the blue orb, I saw from left to right, blue, green and red, the green one was slightly lower than the other two. I continued to look at the ceiling-spirals. When he came back, John asked me what song we were on and I said "Forty-six &amp; 2.' Absolutely positive." He started the music back up and he got into the bed and cuddled with me in the plushie pile. After a while, "Pushit" came on, and if you've heard that song, you know that part; the crescendo. That part is powerful sober. It's ethereal on LSD.
<br>
<br>
We sat up and I looked at one of the pictures I had taken. I had been taking a lot of pictures with my instax Mini9 analog camera. It was a picture of John and me. As I looked at myself in the picture, I said to myself "Who is that? ... Wait. Is that me? ... Wait. Me? I? I! Me!" At this point, I was back. Still tripping, but ego was back. Around T +6.
<br>
<br>
We finished Ænima, but didn't go to Salival or Lateralus. We cuddled. He went downstairs sometime during the night, it was still raining, and he went out to get the mail and put the trash can out. I followed him to feel of the rain in the darkness. (<!-- If you do this substance, I highly recommend doing it while it's raining. Turn your-->Turned my head to the sky, looked up and spread my arms wide, feeling the rain.) He didn't know that I had left the house with him, and he came over to me and said with a laugh, "get your butt back inside." and we both went inside chuckling. By this time, the experience was wearing off a little, I think it was T +10 hours. We went back upstairs and he brought out two dolphin plushies that he had; one big one and one little one. He gave me a choice of which one I wanted to take back home with me. I chose the smaller one and he said he would have recommended that one. It's still on my bed, next to me as I write this. We cuddled our dolphins. I still felt the effects well into 13 hours. At that time, we were going to sleep. I still felt it.
<br>
<br>
When I woke up, John and I cuddled.
<br>
<br>
The experience was beautiful, not at any point did I dislike it, hate it, or want it to be over. I loved it.
<br>
<br>
Knowing that no trip is ever the same as the last, would I ever want to do it again?
<br>
<br>
Absolutely.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2020</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115019</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 23</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 26, 2020</td><td>Views: 685</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=115019&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=115019&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Music Discussion (22), Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 shot</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Hard</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">160 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Puppet show
<br>
Walking Masks
<br>
Sad but True
<br>
Fucked up Epiphany
<br>
or
<br>
How could I forgot the mirror!
<br>
<br>
I dont know how to call this letter. Take your pick. This was the good old naive days, when I was eager to learn, certain of the inevitable samadi, but still a bit scared by bad LSD propaganda. I was a beginner, but done enough trips to realize that if I had any latent psychotic trait or susceptibility to prolonged depersonalization or derealization syndrome, than I would have had it by now. In retrospective it wasnt the brightest period of my life. I was listening to blues and grunge, drank a lot and wasnt the best friend of myself.
<br>
<br>
I took a few days off, stocked my fridge, bought some blotters, barricaded all entrances and was planning to give a good slap to my shadow. To see if it fights back. I soaked two tabs in a shotglass of water at 4am, drank it at 5, and was watching the sun come up a little later. I wasnt yet affected, but it was still very pretty. I got sleepy in half an hour, laid down on the couch and closed my eyes. The kaleidoscopic hallucinations were in gold, red and green metal colour. First they tended to be in the forms of rapidly changing geometric snowflakes, then the size of the individual units got smaller, finally they assumed a pulsing fractal pattern. It started to change too quickly for comfort, so I opened my eyes. I was still sleepy and felt very cosy on the couch. I drank some water, and watched the walls starting to smoke. The walls are never perfectly white, and the shade of the little imperfections or flyshits or old nail holes started to move away from their sources, leaving nightblack afterimages behind them. It was a bit like smoke, or undulating grass in the wind. It was breathtaking. <!-- (If you seen Riddick, and the shadows sucked into the necromanger crafts’ drive, you almost have it)-->
<br>
<br>
I was sitting there for a long, long time. All objects and surfaces seemed to breath, inhale and exhale on their own accord, not in the same rhythm. Everything was alive and vivid and cryptic as if there were layers of meaning of everything that couldnt quite burst through my incomplete reading of them. I dont care if it sounds pretentious. Thats how it felt. I thought I want to dive into this noire atmosphere so I put on the headphones, and listened some Dead Can Dance, then on impulse I had put on the Hive soundtrack. I was trying to read a book, but the words evaporated very prettily as soon as my eyes moved over them. My periferic vision climbed closer to the center somehow. The „s”, the „g” and „y” letters grew slender offshoots and tendrils, and continued to overgrow the text as long as I didnt focus on them. I went back to bed because my skin became very sensitive to all contact as if my nerve endings got tripled. I thought the blanket will feel very nice on my skin. I was right. First I got a strong urge to share this experience with someone, but then I realized I just want to fuck, or rather make love slowly and lazily for a day or two.
<br>
<br>
I didnt want the trip to take this erotic turn, because I felt that something serious is about to happen. Something illuminating. So there is a long pause in the Hive soundtrack. I didnt notice that the music is gone until the next track started with a frightening 100db percussion. I was scared shitless. Then I got scared even more, because the big bang was partly caused by the door that slammed at exactly the same time, when the music started. I went out to the kitchen for I thought I left the window open, and the draft slammed the door between room and kitchen. The window was closed. I stayed scared for a while, but then I find a logical explanation: The window must have slammed the same time as the door did. Maybe it did. I had enough of Marilyn Manson. Changed it to Pink Floyd, but still felt restless. Finally I went out into the morning sunshine. I was walking the streets in a random pattern. It was about 9 or 10am, but few people around.
<br>
<br>
I had put on sunglasses to avoid pedestrians noticing my intense scrutiny. I was watching them because there was something very wrong with each and single last one of them. There was something wrong with their faces. They didnt change like a shapshifter’s, the features didnt flow or bloom like tar bubbles or moving reflections in a curved mirror. That was to be expected, but no. The faces were dead masks made of petrified organic matter; dead, unchanging, carved into a sometimes evil, sometimes idiotic, but mostly sad facial expression. I dont remember meeting any kids, but young people were not much different, than the old ones. I became very agitated, because I couldnt change this perception. Then I saw that there was something dark behind these masks that everyone was wearing, or attached to or appeared to be. First it was out of focus, I couldnt make out the details, but when I didnt concentrate on them, they became sharper.
<br>
<br>
There were pits behind the masks, with someone laying in each pit’s bottom laying in the foetal position. They were sleeping bodies –malnourished looking- in various states of decomposition. It didnt take a high IQ to know that they were the real dwellers of the body in deep sedation. I didnt know if they were dreaming the masks and the outside world through them, or the masks were parasitic organisms feeding on the sleepers. If they were the latter, the masks didnt seem to be aware of being parasites. It was a very disturbing experience. I felt an overpowering sorrow for mankind <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I felt an overpowering sorrow for mankind</div></div>, and I wanted to cry but I didnt, because in my country men dont cry, especially not on the street. The whole thing was very sad, but I didnt want it to be over. I walked up and down the streets to meet anyone who was different. I guess I met 200-250 people on the streets. They were all zombies.
<br>
<br>
I went home, and tried to take my mind off this revelation. By mid afternoon only the physical sensations remained, and the closed eye visuals. I dont remember if I was familiar with C.G. Jung’s concept of persona at the time of this trip, but for me these masks and the persona mean the same thing now. When all the effects subsided did I realize that I missed my chance to look into the mirror and see if I was the same comatose stiff in the bottom of the pit like everyone else. I am still angry with myself ever since. I had a couple of acid trips since, all with lower doses, but I didnt gain anything even remotely close. I dont know if these were hallucinations. I am afraid I saw the truth.
<br>
<!--
<br/>
p.s: feel free to weed out the errors in my grammar if you have the time.--><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2002</td><td width="90">ExpID: 84976</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 27</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 27, 2020</td><td>Views: 612</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=84976&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=84976&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Entities / Beings (37), General (1), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 9:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">85 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This trip took place in the summer of '09, up in a wood/mountain area of southern Sweden, at a private psy-trance forest party.
<br>
I will try to write down everything I remember, even though I fear some of the details might have been lost in time. Do forgive me if I write in an odd manner or just spell stuff wrongly, I'm a Swede after all.
<br>
<br>
It was at this party, in a clearing in the middle of the forest, I took my first doses of both drugs in my life (I'll come to this later, as I wouldn't recommend doing this). This clearing was also at the top of a hill, so that the forest went downwards in every direction from the party. With a lake after about 100 meters in one direction.
<br>
<br>
I was there with 3 friends, one whom I knew really well, the other two I had just met. I was very careful picking this moment, as it felt safe to be with people who were (very) experienced with trips of this kind. I had also prepared mentally for this, reading up a lot about the drugs and their effects, and also got some advice from my friends (with how to handle certain scenarios, like 'bad feelings') which I think was of tremendous help looking back at things.
<br>
<br>
A short summary would be something like this: The LSD trip (from 07pm to 04am) was a very pleasant and calm experience which I experienced very 'solo', i.e. I had little social interaction during this period. The mushroom trip afterwards (from roughly 4am to 10am) was much more extreme, and even though it started out nicely and I liked it very much, it turned around on me and hit me like a truck and turned into a very scary experience.
<br>
<br>
To me, it felt like the LSD trip was controllable and that I could 'steer' it, and that the mushroom trip was the opposite, which scared me.
<br>
<br>
We scored some LSD at the party and 3 out of 4 of us took 1....piece or whatever you call it. One piece of paper. One dose. The fourth, one of the other's girlfriend, didn't take any and reassured me that she would take care of us (mostly me) and this helped a lot as I was a little nervous to say the least.
<br>
<br>
For the first 30 minutes - 1 hour I didn't feel anything at all and was constantly asking questions to my friends, probably driving them mad in the process. I was worried that I had bought too little and that it wouldn't affect me due to me being quite tall and big etc. They just kept saying that I definately shouldnt buy more and just wait and see. After a while the agreed that if nothing had happened after two-three hours I could buy more cause in that case I could've been unlucky and gotten a bad dose.
<br>
<br>
We were sitting on a blanket and I was talking to my friends when I suddenly got the urge to stand up and walk around a little. So I stood up and felt a bit...weird...and looked around at all the people also sitting in the clearing. I was wearing a hoodie and pulled it up and started to walk around. It was starting to get darker, so it was kinda in the twilight. After a while I noticed (note. everything I noticed/thought/experienced wasn't necessarily true, but it was how I perceived things at the moment) that people were looking at me in an odd manner from their places. I started to find it very funny that they were looking at me, and talked to myself in a mumbling manner about them looking at me. I noticed that I was starting to have troubles speaking normally, and I would only whisper and act (probably very) strange to people, whispering back and snickering at what they said to me if they approached me. I was starting to feel very happy, and I was starting to enjoy nature much more than before. As things got darker, I hid more and more inside my hoodie, walking around slowly or even sneaking among people, watching them and thinking they were really funny without managing to pinpoint WHY exactly. I was aware that I was tripping, but I didn't worry much about it and just rode it out.
<br>
<br>
2 hours after eating the dose the 4th (sober) friend asked if she could have my wine. I was still somewhat clear headed but still noticed I started tripping balls so I figured I wouldnt need the wine, so I said sure and asked her to lead me to the tent which was about 200 meters from the clearing, past some parked cars in a very secluded area of the forest, as I thought it probably would be nice with a calmer environment. When we arrived I, for the first time since I started tripping, noticed one of my friends again. For about 1 hour I had forgotten all about my friends basically. He was tripping in a bad way and was hiding in his tent for reasons unknown. For the first time I realized that they were tripping too and actually pitied the guy because he had a bad trip, but it didnt scare me, which I thought it would've.
<br>
<br>
I was waiting 10 meters away from the tent and it was almost pitch dark now, when things started going crazy. All of sudden I saw 4 figures standing in the woods about 10 meters from the path that lead to the tents. I might add that before I took the drug, I had promised myself to try to have an open and positive mind to everything I experienced. I think this helped me greatly on this first trip, as I greeted the figures and realized they were guardians of the forest, overlooking us people partying. I was not afraid at all, and talked into the forest at these shapes (of shadow, probably).
<br>
<br>
The sober girl came back and noticed me talking and asked what I saw and was very calm and listened carefully to my story. She was great help overall with her serene ways and I highly recommend someone like her accompanying you on your first trip.
<br>
As we walked back to the party things got even stronger, and I started losing my ability to talk more and more. I was replying with hmms, and mmms, and nods and shakes and usually needed to concentrate much to even whisper stuff to people. For a moment and tried very very hard and managed to speak normally for about 20 seconds to my friend, to test it, but it was pretty tough to do so I used those seconds to explain why I didnt talk, and she said it was cool and that I could just nod and use sign language if I had to tell her something.
<br>
<br>
Back at the party I suddenly noticed all of the torches and the big fireplace that was burning VERY brightly in the dark. I figured that something like this would happen and it was very awesome to watch the big fire crackle and burn.
<br>
<br>
For about 1-3 hours from now on I was only walking around between people, thinking everyone was sober but me, keeping to myself for most of the time, mumbling stuff to myself and now and then I would wander into the pitch dark, where I saw small shapes walk around in the woods. Or I so I believed I saw. I wasnt 100 sure I saw them, I might add. I was somewhat scared of them and usually just ventured into the woods when I had to pee from then on, always talking with them and saying I were their friend when I met them again. To make sure they wouldnt attack me. I guess I thought they were some kind of forest nymphs or elves.
<br>
<br>
After this period I sat down at the fireplace and noticed that I could speak somewhat decently again. Though I mostly sat silently watching the fire for the next hour anyway, and only spoke when spoken to, keeping conversations very short, but always smiled so that people wouldn't be offended. I was very self-aware at this point, and noticed that people watched me tripping, or at least thought I did. (Later on I heard that many beside me were tripping madly too, but it is supposedly very common that you dont notice other people tripping when you trip yourself)
<br>
<br>
I now noticed my closest friend, who I hadnt spoken to since I started tripping. He was watching me intensly and this was the first time I noticed that someone else was high than me. He was grinning at me BROADLY and I found this so hilarious that I had to hide lying behind people and just laugh out loud, which made him do the same thing. But we never approached each other or talked. I then lay over on my back and noticed the STARS and treetops. The trees were shimmering and the stars were moving very very fast but only in very very short distances from their original positions. I guess you could call it 'shaking'. Since it was a clearing, I saw the trees from both sides of the clearing, and faint arches of light were created. I was now in conversation with a girl who had taken mushrooms, and we compared our experiences. It was around 1-2am I guess and I was starting to come down. In Sweden the sun comes up VERY early this time a year, so it was maybe only 1-2 hours left of darkness, and I guess some light was already sipping in because when I went to pee in the darkness I saw LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of white flowers shining in the otherwise pitch dark. Im guessing that my eyes were so dilated that I could see the faintest amount of light reflected off these white flowers rather easily.
<br>
<br>
From now on I was just in a nice mood, talking with people again, having a good time, but still having some enhanced vision mainly. My friends were also doing this, and my closest friend was asking around for mushrooms. He eventually got some and ate a normal dose, I forgot how much. I think it was like a handful. I can't remember what kind it was but I recall it having some kind of connection with South America, perhaps Mexican? I'm no drug expert, by far.
<br>
<br>
Anyway, he was chatting away with people and I was just reflecting my experiences for another hour or two, having a good time with people.
<br>
<br>
At around 4am I decided I wanted some mushrooms as well, I was feeling very bold at the moment. I wouldn't recommend this, looking back.
<br>
<br>
He managed to get me half a dose, which was half a handful, and apparently it was 'mixed' kinds of shrooms. I chewed them for about 1-2 minutes before swallowing, and was not worried. I didnt even ask alot about the effects. I was probably still high as fuck as my friend said my eyes were dilated to the max, but as the heaviest experience from LSD was behind me I thought I was totally not high anymore. Boy was I wrong.
<br>
<br>
Anyway, after about 30 mins I walked up and danced a little on the leafy 'dance floor'. Then it happened. I was suddenly seeing every leaf, and every 'pine needle' or whatever they are called, on the forest floor. In a way I was seeing EVERY OUTLINE of EVERY ITEM in the forest very very clearly. It was like a massive information overload coming into my eyes. The filter that filters out unneccesary stuff in your vision...well it wasnt active anymore. I was seeing everything. Everything. At the same time.
<br>
A while later colours were starting to become much more saturated and bright. And the leaves and ground started to move very slightly. I wasnt sure at first if this was REALLY true or if I was just wishing it was true, but I got it confirmed later, very much so.
<br>
<br>
After a while the ground and leaves and needles started to move in very very complicated but somehow logical patterns. What was very cool was that they MOVED to the music. And in a way it was like watching one of those effect things in winamp or some other music program, a visualizer or whatever they are called. The patterns pulsed and moved sharply, with every base BOOM, and danced around the floor. Only when I focused BEHIND the forest floor I saw reality again, and I played with this for a while.
<br>
<br>
I this awesome experience of colours and patterns I felt euphoric and smiled largely at everyone. Talking nicely and dancing. I decided to walk away a little in this happiness, along the path towards the cars again. The forest was so green that it almost hurt my eyes watching at it. And as I walked down the path I noticed that....my vision was very fucked up. For a while it was like walking on a treadmill, I was seeing the same portion of the path over and over as I walked, and sometimes it SKIPPED quickly to the right, and sometimes I saw two paths. It was moving and it made me dizzy. I decided I should go back to the party and just sit down and relax for a while when the BAD THING happened.
<br>
<br>
Probably to due walking around so much and not drinking enough water all night my lower leg seizured/cramped. It felt like I got 100 needles stuck in my leg and I wasnt able to walk. This triggered a sense of panic as I was alone, stuck on the path, and closest person was 200 m away from me. Even though I was in no risk of dying at all I felt very afraid and thought I was going to die on the path, I really did. I shouted some and a couple of people coming from the cars helped me back to the party where I sat down and drank a lot of water (as they recommended). But I couldn't fight the anxiety even though I sat still, and luckily enough my closest friend who was also tripping but not like me agreed to go back to the tent to help me ride out the bad trip.
<br>
<br>
Back at the tent we decided to get some sleep and just rest, but there was no room for us in the tent as it was occupied, so he got out a red/green/orange blanket and put it out on the floor. For a moment I forgot my fear laughed at the irony of bringing such a brightly coloured blanket to an occasion like this, as it was VERY VERY COLOURFUL and had a very complicated pattern to begin with. I just went 'GAHHH, I CANT WATCH IT HAHA, NICE BLANKET FOR A TRIP DUDE' and he replied 'HAHA WELL, I DIDNT REALLY THINK ABOUT THAT, SORRY'. But my fear/anxiety stayed with me and I was lying on the blanket with my friend asking 10000000000 questions about everything related to the bad trip. If it was going to kill me, etc. He was at the same time having an awesome trip, and just replied in a positive manner to everything I said. Somehow it calmed me when I was talking, and I got more anxious when I was silent. So I kept talking for the whole duration of the bad trip, probably for at least an hour. I remember that it was very painful as I couldn't escape the effects in any way. If I was watching, I saw a SHINY GREEN FOREST with lots of mosquitos who each and everyone had a trail of light following them in the air. I saw every outline and every item still, and it was very colourful, and I hated it and felt so much regret for taking the mushrooms just after coming down on LSD. SILLY SILLY ME i kept repeating, what was I thinking? At its peak I almost phoned my family but my friend talked me out of it (luckily, HAHA).
<br>
<br>
After a while the anxiety finally wore off and I felt very relieved, even though the colours were still there and the outlines and detail too. You could say it was like if you took a picture of a forest, and outlined every thing in the picture with a black border, and increased color saturation so it became super colorful. That's how I percieved things. So we were walking around and talking and were being really meta-physical in our conversations, talking about what is real and what is real, and that what we perceive as real normally actually isnt more REAL than this. And it felt very clear to me. Suddenly I felt I understand every weird junkie I had talked with in my life. Haha. After a while we drove home and that was the end of it. Very special experience.
<br>
<br>
Oh one think I might add, I was throughout both trips experiencing what my friend called 'endorfintugg' or 'endorphin chewing' in english? + spelling. It was like a tics that made me cramp my jaw and sent tingling sensations from my jaw, down my neck and spine each time. My friend said it was because my body was releasing so much endorphines. I'm not sure what it was but all I can say was that I kept having these sensations for 1-3 days after the trip.
<br>
<br>
That's about it. My fingers are exhausted from typing now so I'll stop.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2009</td><td width="90">ExpID: 82500</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 24</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 8, 2021</td><td>Views: 861</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=82500&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=82500&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Mushrooms (39), LSD (2) : Festival / Lg. Crowd (24), Entities / Beings (37), Bad Trips (6), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">75 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Ineffable Experience
<br>
<br>
First of all what I’m about to write is not to push my beliefs or point of view although my experience has greatly affirmed what I believe in. In 2010 I went to a small festival in the village of Val, I had taken psychedelics before but the stuff that was going around this time was far more powerful than I could ever have imagined possible. I was not actually intending on taking drugs anymore but due to the circumstances and the relaxed vibe and all I decided to join in, the [Mad Hatter] LSD I got was cheap so I expected it just to make the party a bit more interesting and have a bit of a buzz <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">the [Mad Hatter] LSD I got was cheap so I expected it just to make the party a bit more interesting and have a bit of a buzz</div></div>. A few friends and I each took a dose but my friend and I having experience in psychoactive substances took half a dose more than the rest.
<br>
<br>
Usually LSD takes 30 to 45 minutes to start kicking in, this time however we started feeling the effects after 15 minutes and we realised soon that this was something very different. In the beginning of the trip we decided to eat something knowing that in the middle of a trip it can be hard eating because of the senses going a bit AWOL, but even after only 15 minutes we could not get the food down, the French fries felt like they were squirting all their oil into our mouths and we could feel the oil running down our throats, we quickly abandoned the idea of eating anything and met up with our other friends who were also showing signs of slight paranoia. We decided to sit in a circle and meditate in order to calm down but this also didn’t help, the trip was getting stronger with each second and our bodies and minds didn’t quite know what to do, we tried a bunch of different things to distract us and stimulate our brains positively.
<br>
<br>
At one point we we all huddled into a tent trying to find a comfort zone from the frightening outside world (I found out later that I was the only one really freaking out, he others by this point had mastered their trip and were enjoying it). The tent helped for a bit until the paranoia entered the tent and I started even to fear my friends, their warped faces and loud distorted voices were making me very scared for some reason, possibly I was scared of what sometimes happens on acid, like wild orgies or complete loss of control, I was terrified of this loss of control and started to believe that I had no control over the situation or over my actions. I quickly got out of the tent and was confronted with really dark music playing from someone car next to our camp site, there were a few very negative characters playing Marilyn Manson's music, seemingly to bring the mood down or something. Immediately, thinking I have no control over my thoughts or my body the music turned into horrible shapes of demons and fire and monsters everywhere, I began to really freak out. My friends tried to calm me down and comfort me but at that point they too had become part of this horrible world outside of myself, which I was convinced was trying to destroy my soul, I felt like the only sane person although in actual fact I had lost it. I was looking around myself seeing people do things that didn’t make sense, why are people sleeping, why are they eating, what is the point! Why can't they just BE. I was screaming at my friends and was pushing very negative vibes thinking they had some terrible intentions with me, even my closest friend whom I love and trust with my life couldn’t calm me and I was afraid of him.
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<br>
I ran into another tent that was empty telling myself I should just sit this thru, that the acid will wear off and everything will be ok. That tent turned into my own mental hell, I was being ripped apart by my own fear and I was experiencing horrible pain and suffering, it felt as if my bones wanted to grow out of my body. This madness went so far until I completely lost my mind and found myself drifting in a complete empty space, complete blank. I could see the world around me but nothing made sense, even my hands didn’t make sense, I couldn’t understand air, or very basic things, like I lost all memory of life. At this point I understood what it meant to truly loose your mind, I felt I could understand all crazy people on earth, what they must be going thru. Then the fear came that I might have turned some kind of switch in my brain and that I will stay like this even after the trip, I thought I would have to try explain to the people I live with, my parents, that I took some bad drugs and have gone crazy and that I would have to spend years in a mental institution and possibly die from all the medication they gave me.
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<br>
I then tried to communicate with the people around me begging that someone take me home or call an ambulance or something, but no one wanted to help me (of course I understand this now, I was just someone having a bad trip and you don’t really call someone parents when you and they are on acid) so I started thinking of a plan, I must get away from this place, then like basic 2D animations I started to see things, like concepts. I was thinking of walking home which would probably take a week and I'd have to walk thru Johannesburg. This thought brought the question what are the dangers of that, I could die I thought, what is death? Then I saw visions of death, I saw planet earth with billions of little people walking over it from one side to the next, I saw spirits behind these people, I saw how the spirits were given bodies to walk on earth and live, I saw how when they reached the end, the body dies and the spirit was released. Then it was like taking a step back and looking at the whole picture, I saw how the spirits are part of one huge spirit in the centre of everything, I couldn’t quite look at this great spirit, it was like I was not permitted to look at it in this state but I was aware of it. It was god, a vast spirit made up of pure love, happiness and peace. Then looking back at my environment I saw time from the outside, I was not affected by it but I could watch it work. I was drifting in a state of eternity, no time at all and all time in one, every second of all existence was in one moment and could be seen from the outside. I saw time passing like frames in a movie, I was staring at this moment but I could see in my peripheral vision, the next frame and the previous one.
<br>
<br>
Seeing all this I sought comfort in my belief of Christ and I looked back in time and I saw in basic images how many frames of moments ago this major great spirit took on a body like ours of its own, very humble and perfect at the same time. This person was Jesus, walking across earth teaching people how to live, in peace, love and happiness and always connected to the Great Spirit, Jesus created a bridge for us, that by overcoming the layers of the ego and given up completely one could be set free from the ignorant mind trying to please itself with its identity on earth and in the process destroying its environment and the people around it. Seeing all this affirmed gave me great comfort and also seeing that there is no hell, that when the body dies the spirit is simply there where it has always been, with God. Then a bit relaxed I turned to the familiar faces around me and tried to understand what they are, what are they doing and why? Still not understanding that I was one of these characters myself. My friend offered me some Hookah (flavoured tobacco smoked thru a water pipe) I reluctantly accepted the pipe and watching the others I tried it for myself, the cool flavoured vapour entered my lungs and gave my body satisfaction, then suddenly another wave of realisations overcame me, feeling and tasting the smoke I realised why we are here. We have senses, hearing, taste, feeling, sight and smell, the Great Spirit created us out of love to experience this reality made for us, the earth is our playground filled with wonders and sights smells feelings ect. We are here to experience, to grow, live, interact with our bodies and voices and hands and feet, to create art and music and colour and enjoy our existence peacefully with all our brothers and sisters and in respect of our home planet.
<br>
<br>
At that point, maybe 5 hours into the trip, it was as if my entire vision got turned away from the blank empty confusion of madness and turned towards reality <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">maybe 5 hours into the trip, it was as if my entire vision got turned away from the blank empty confusion of madness and turned towards reality</div></div>, I saw visions of this reality and the spiritual. The spiritual realm or heaven as we call it was absolutely beautiful, it was just endless shapes and colours and psychedelic clouds of information every spinning and moving and swirling, each one of these shapes was affecting something in our reality in the universe, like one shape cause a particle of dust in the universe to move, so yeah there was a lot to see. I saw how all the spirits in existence, here or there were connected to each one of these moving shapes, meaning in the spiritual realm our spirits are connected to all the energy in existence and we can feel it and be aware of it, every question has a answer before asking it. Then in order to experience life in our universe our spiritual sight of everything is funnelled into human eyes and all the senses so that we can live and grow and influence things around us, it seemed that the reason for this existence would be to experience and live happily always connected to our creator thru the bridge he gave us, thru ultimate love peace and happiness. Understanding all this was like a huge awakening, I was overcome with extreme excitement, I was back in this reality knowing all these things and experiencing it for the first time, we started playing music, and for the first time I was playing my own beats on a drum, I realised that our bodies are like avatars driven by our spirits, or like human being machines, carefully designed for this reality to basically have a good time. Everything made so much sense now why people do the things they do, I could see how sad it was how some people miss the point of life by satisfying their egos with drugs, sex, power and money.
<br>
<br>
I started walking around and it was as if those were my first steps, like I was trying to operate this complex machine. The grass under my feet was a complete new feeling, in fact feeling itself was new and it was absolutely fascinating and enjoyable. I had a sip of wine and felt it go into my body and cause certain effects to my machine. I realised music entering my ears, being translated into rhythm which pulsated thru my body causing it to move happily. It was like being a baby with a full consciousness. I looked around me at the kaleidoscope shapes happening everywhere still from the acid, and it was like I was looking at things I saw all the time but only fully appreciated now, like a flower growing and moving and changing, it felt like this is what you have been seeing but look closer and see how beautiful it actually is. I looked at trees and saw them not as my limited human brain sees and tries to label things, it wasn’t a tree it was this amazing organic THING growing out of our home planet, giving fruit and shade and wood. I saw how amazingly beautiful my friends were and understood that “friends” are just other spirit driven avatars that have decided to enjoy life with you, enjoy the walk. I kept on apologizing to them that I had earlier screamed at and feared, but now understood. Life had been made so simple and easy to understand, there were no more missions, just walk thru life and enjoy, no need to spend life working, simply trust in the creators providence and walk thru life enjoying, creating, playing music and doing art and enjoying, but of course with respect. Knowing not to get lost in the pleasures of life as the ego driven ones do and thus causing harm to themselves and others and our planet.
<br>
<br>
The rest of the trip went on beautifully and was just a celebration of life, the reggae band playing music then made so much sense, they were full of peace and love and were actually just trying to spread inspiration to live a healthy and happy life and to be at peace with those around you and always stay connected to Jah. Living like this I realised is perfect, with god as the provider one can truly simply travel and experience and help others and spread love, peace and happiness and awareness of course. Yeah that is my ineffable experience, it took me years actually afterwards to fully understand it and put the pieces together and live happily and simply. A main question afterwards was, what are psychedelics here for? My uncertain conclusion is that they are very powerful medicines, not to be played with, but meant for those who miss the point of life, perhaps like a reminder. But I think understanding all these things one should not take these medicines, its like taking painkillers although one has no headache. These things are for the sick and if taken too much could end up in a disconnection from this reality and inability to communicate with others and altho drifting in full understanding of everything, missing the point of life, we are not meant to know all of this all the time, otherwise there would be no point of life, growing, experiencing, influencing. <!-- There are many on this planet that without drugs have a beautiful and pure connection to god and understand the point of life, and everybody can be like this, or risk the very dangerous and powerful medicine and loosing your mind forever :)--><!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2010</td><td width="90">ExpID: 96975</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 22</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 10, 2021</td><td>Views: 580</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=96975&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=96975&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 bowl</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(flowers)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">5 shots</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Hard</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 bowl</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(flowers)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 6:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 cig.</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
O.K. I'm sure that I'm going to leave a lot of stuff out, but this is what I can remember about the WORST trip of my life. Some of my college friends had come down to chill with me for a few days during Christmas break. They brought some doses called 'jurrassic park' that had little pictures of dinosaurs on them. The friend who had supplied the hits said they were awesome, and the rest of us took him at his word. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
<br>
<br>
We had about half a sheet of this shit, and me being the experienced acid veteran that I was, decided to pop 4. My other friends took 2 each, and we decided to walk to the park to chill and wait for the acid to take effect. We had brought along some good weed, and a fifth of jack to help pass the time (lol) while waiting. It was around 6pm when we made it to the park. Well, we toked up and did a number on our bottle, and no one was really talking about the acid yet. I was starting to get pissed as it was now 7pm, I had taken 4 hits and felt nothing. I got up to take a piss behind a tree and then it hit me. It was fucking intense.
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<br>
We were in the woods and suddenly everything started flashing like a strobe light had been turned on. Somehow I found my friends at a picnic table under a little pavilion in the center of the park and was like 'shit dude...you guys feel it yet?' They confirmed that they were too frying balls now (8pm now). This is where it starts getting freaky. I was into a lot of the cheesy 80's horror movies at the time, and we were in the woods. So I started seeing Jason from Friday the 13th running around in the trees with a machete.
<br>
<br>
I kept trying to warn my friends that we needed to get the hell out of here, but they'd just hand me a bowl and tell me to chill. The flashing strobe light effects were getting stronger and stronger, and I was having tunnel vision. After they convinced me that Jason wasn't really in the woods and reminded me I was on a shit load of acid, I decided to try to chill. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">After they convinced me that Jason wasn't really in the woods and reminded me I was on a shit load of acid, I decided to try to chill.</div></div> I packed another bowl and smoked it to myself. Then I polished off the jack and decided to lay back on the bench of the picnic table to help me relax. It worked and I was like cool.
<br>
<br>
I laughed with everyone about how freaked I got over thinking Jason was gonna kill us and shit, and everything seemed like it was going to be all right. It was now about 12am btw. The flashing lights, however weren't subsiding at all. They were growing and growing with more intensity. It was cool as hell because I like strobes. But it was kinda scary too because I knew we were in the middle of the fucking woods and there couldn't possibly really be lights doing that.
<br>
<br>
At this point we decided it would be cool to relocate to my house. I was like 'just let me finish this cigarette'. I finished and attempted to sit up. Holy Shit! it hurt. I mean it really fucking hurt! My back felt like someone stabbed me or something. I totally couldn't sit up, or even move my legs. It sucked because my friends didn't know what to do to help. They just sat with me and talked to me trying to 'talk me down' I imagine. But I wasn't tweaking out. I couldn't fucking move!
<br>
<br>
I was literally paralyzed for about 2 hours. But it felt like an eternity and hurt like hell. That acid kicked my ass, and I read somewhere that the strobe patterns I was seeing all night was probably my central nervous system shutting down. Scary shit dude.<!-- Anyways, I'm not trying to scare anyone out of doing acid or anything, I had the experience and it didnt stop me lol!!! I would however recommend being smarter than i was and trying 1 or 2 before eating a bunch to sort of 'test the waters' and please please be safe!!!! peace --><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1996</td><td width="90">ExpID: 12152</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 15, 2021</td><td>Views: 1,046</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=12152&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=12152&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Alcohol - Hard (198), Cannabis (1), LSD (2) : Bad Trips (6), Combinations (3), General (1), Health Problems (27), Nature / Outdoors (23), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">110 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I’m writing this trip report now because although a lot of time (almost a year) has elapsed since my one &amp; only experience with LSD, I’m still processing the experience and I think providing a narrative of my experiences could definitely be of use to some potential trippers.
<br>
<br>
My trip took place sometime around January or February of 2014. Prior to this trip I had minimal experience with drugs—only cigarettes, alcohol, and marijuana (which I smoked about 3 days a week and enjoyed quite a bit although it hadn’t really provided any profound insights). I was beyond excited to try LSD, although in retrospect I wish I had had some sort of goal for my acid experience <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I was beyond excited to try LSD, although in retrospect I wish I had had some sort of goal for my acid experience</div></div> (rather than just wanting to see pretty visuals)…by the time I actually got a hold of it, I was elated. I bought 2 tabs, and I intended to trip with a friend (we’ll call her J), so the intention was only to consume 1 tab. J picked me up from my dorm around 5 pm along with my other friends JO and K, and as it was snowing and there was a lot of traffic on the way to her apartment, I ended up dosing with 1 tab (I really have no idea how much LSD was actually on each tab) around 5:30 p.m. in her car.
<br>
<br>
By the time we got to her apartment, it was around 5:45 and anticipation had set in. I sat on the couch for a while waiting for some kind of effect to set in. I knew that it took anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour for the trip to begin, but within an hour the only effect I had noticed was that lights had a magnified intensity and would sometimes trail across my vision. I asked J if she would be fine with me taking the other tab because I didn’t want to waste the experience on such a mild dosage. J said it was okay, although I still feel a little bad that she didn’t get to trip with me that night. I took the other tab and sat back down on the couch. (I was super cautious about trying to ingest all of the LSD that I could, I so would leave the tabs under my tongue for as long as I possibly could and then I would chew them up and swallow). I played with J’s cat as J, JO, K, and S (another friend) all sat around and began playing video games. J’s cat was way too into the toy I was playing with her with, and all of a sudden she leapt up and scratched right across the middle of my face. Significantly (I think), I didn’t feel the least bit upset over this development—I was bleeding right down the center of my face and had a pretty nasty scratch, but I couldn’t find it in me to be upset or stress myself out over it.
<br>
<br>
I went to the bathroom to clean up my face, and it was then that the trip really set in. I began to stare down at the bathroom sink, and suddenly the marble began to ripple. I was captivated—I looked up, and the lights above the mirror seemed to be pulsating. They had a warm, bright, white energy. J had a painting of a corgi behind the toilet, and as I looked at it I felt the painting burst into life and began to feel very seriously that the corgi was a real character living in J’s bathroom. I felt overwhelmed—happy, definitely, but overwhelmed by the new sensory input and like I was being granted a very special privilege by being allowed to access these visions. I heard talking outside the bathroom and knew that I should probably go back out and join my friends, but I didn’t want to leave because I felt so warm and sweet and secure in the little yellow bathroom. K eventually came to get me, and I tried to make her stand in the bathroom with me to stare at the lights, which only made her frustrated b/c she couldn’t perceive any of the same things as me (it must have been horribly boring for her). She convinced me to leave, and J and JO told me that I’d been standing in the bathroom for almost an hour. That was a surprise. I knew LSD could alter your perception of time, but I was amazed that I’d been so immersed in those visuals that I’d allowed myself to stand there for so long.
<br>
<br>
I tried to experiment with closed eye visuals for awhile, but they were much less captivating to me than open eyed ones. I don’t really think that the visuals I experienced were extraordinary along the spectrum of things you can perceive under the influence of LSD, but they were still intensely and overwhelmingly beautiful. I found that with enough concentration, I could influence the colors of the walls, although throughout most of the trip everything had an electric pink or purplish hue with occasional flashes of red. Dimensions shifted—the ground no longer seemed flat, and everything took on a more cartoonish shape but still seemed perfectly simple to navigate. The walls didn’t “breathe” per se, but they (along with the carpet) were covered in swirling geometric patterns that I devoted a lot of the trip to contemplating. At several points throughout the trip, I would feel so overcome with happiness that I’d start to cry, which I think was upsetting/alarming to my friends…I couldn’t really find the words at the time to explain to them that I was only crying because everything was so perfect and magical. It sounds trite trying to explain it now, but that’s really how I felt at the time—that everything was perfect, that I had a pure soul and I was capable of conjuring up beautiful worlds and that there really was a strong benevolent force at work in the universe.
<br>
<br>
This was around the time of the Olympics, so S put on men’s figure skating. Yuzuru Hanyu was skating. I wasn’t that interested in the TV, but I was amazed by how much emotion he was able to convey through his movements. I started thinking about the desert, and how I wished I could be out somewhere in the heat on a wide open space and really feel the immensity of everything. My friends and I decided to go outside to smoke cigarettes (I’ve since given up smoking), and I was glad to have a chance to experience the outdoors even though it was just for a fraction of the trip. It was the middle of the night, but the sky looked hot pink and the snow was intensely reflective and crystalline. My cigarette tasted sweet, much sweeter than a cigarette should taste.
<br>
<br>
The rest of the night was essentially spent dawdling about. Eventually, all my friends went to bed…because I’d dosed relatively late, I wasn’t able to fall asleep until around 6 a.m. This was the more unpleasant part of the trip. I felt uncomfortable being left alone, but I felt bad vocalizing that to anyone (they needed their sleep!), so I allowed myself to be left out in a dark room by myself. I tried listening to music (Björk), but frankly it sounded scary and by that point I just wanted to be able to fall asleep. I began to panic a little bit, because I was really uncomfortable with not being able to read things properly or immediately grasp their meaning. I did eventually fall asleep, and the next day I felt totally normal again. However, I had a really unpleasant experience that following day involving way too much weed and a subsequent panic attack. I think this was the result of way too much caffeine + weed and not LSD.
<br>
<br>
I don’t intend to drop acid again. I had a really positive and uplifting experience, and I don’t want to mar that by risking a bad trip. I’m also really frightened of research chemicals—a boy from my high school recently died from NBOME, so I definitely advise anyone who wants to do LSD to buy a testing kit and try to ensure that they’re actually taking the drug they intend to take. I do wish I had experienced some more profound insights or had enacted a more spiritual mentality during the time of my trip, but I can say that the effects I did experience have lingered with me and I feel lucky to have had the experience. I definitely intend to do shrooms sometime in the future, but I want to make sure I’m in the right headspace before doing that.
<br>
<br>
<!-- My tips: -->I would try to dose early on (not in the late afternoon or at night) ; eat beforehand, but eat healthy and light ; have a trip sitter, preferably someone who has experience w/ psychedelics ; and try to go outside for a little.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2014</td><td width="90">ExpID: 104804</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 17, 2021</td><td>Views: 579</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=104804&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=104804&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 drop</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">128 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Before I had ever taken any LSD, I smoked cannabis daily since the age of 14, and had spent years learning of meditation and yoga, I have always had a positive outlook on life and have lived with love from the minute I was born. I never felt like I had anything to worry about, but this had often lead to carelessness, and mischief. I had also spent years researching LSD and experimenting with cough syrups and mushrooms I found growing in the forest, just hoping for the visions and experiences of those reported in the 1960s.
<br>
<br>
At the age of 19, I started taking LSD regularly, at least once a week. But the most powerful experience was my first one, and this is the documentation of that experience.
<br>
<br>
My friend who was going off to college, contacted me when I was in bed about to sleep one night, she wanted to spend one last night with me and her 3-year boyfriend before going off to college. She had decided that she wanted us to all take some MDMA and I live in Texas, where this drug is common in certain late night dance clubs. So we arrived at the club at around 11:30, and her boyfriend was too young to enter so me and her went in and after a brief stroll, I heard someone my age saying ' ecstacy ' and asked him if he had any for sale. But something inside me, after years of research, had to know if he also had LSD, so I asked, and he did. I was so excited, he put one drop in each of our mouths and we bought an ecstacy pill for our friend, he told us that he was close to the chemist and the drop of liquid he dropped in my mouth contained little over 300 micrograms of LSD.
<br>
<br>
Dose ingested: 11:57. We rushed to the car, and started driving to my house, I turned on 'alans psychedelic breakfast' by pink floyd, and were silent with anticipation the entire drive home, other than saying how nice it was to see each other again after about a year apart.
<br>
<br>
It took 45 minutes to get home and we decided to go to the large golfcourse by my house to spend our time. So I grabbed my guitar and my cannabis, but we all gathered on my back porch to wait for the drugs to work.
<br>
<br>
12:07: I began to feel rather drunk, and dizzy and encouraged my friends to start walking with me to the golf course. I was filled with joy and a little anxiety as I walked down the street, I was completely overwhelmed by this strange intoxication, and just as we opened the gate to the golf course, I felt as if I was separating from my body, like I was becoming all of the molecules that made up my body and slowly merging with everything around me. I noticed that I was no longer, me.. I was just everything, I was the rolling hills of the golf course and I was every atom that makes up the oxygen in the air between me and the trees, and I was the trees too. I then became completely overwhelmed by unbearable love for everything.
<br>
<br>
As soon as I began to love, my vision became that of a wildly exotic kaleidoscope, everything, the ground, the trees the hills were geometric, and they were all spinning beautifully in a kaleidoscope, then I had recognition, that everything I see, is only what it is (sober) because of perception, and I had been so far off my whole life, there is no work, no school, no friends, and no self, just love, pure and unconditional love I saw that everything that was anything to me was that way because I made it to be that way, good or bad, when there was really, neither. I had a brief instance of the return of self, which was glowing with the awkward perception I have of my self, but then I just felt intense love in me center of my chest, as this huge sphere rolled towards me, it had thousands of small tiles on it, like a disco ball, each of which was a different angle of my face, all laughing, and they changed as my mood changed. I was literally watching my self, and seeing these perceptions I used to have, and as I tried to evaluate them, it all just became holy, like any thing I did, any way I felt, each movement I made was a reaction to the perception I had of 'negativity' and became a path way to love, or god, as I moved or responded in a way that would provide comfort or understanding to me, like I was just transforming the negative to positive, seeing as how I was only uncomfortable until I was comfortable, and seeing that everything was one and there was noting but eternal love, I, at that point, had no need for hate, negativity, sorrow, or emotion for that matter. I felt like it was the first time I had ever woken up. All the patterns around me, everything I knew as grass or trees or outside was just dancing, singing and loving me.
<br>
<br>
The visual hallucinations were becoming almost too intense and were starting to give me a headache, and so I grabbed my pipe and tried to pour my cannabis into if from my grinder but I was having so much trouble even sitting up straight that all of my bud was just poured onto the ground. I could only laugh. I got back up and tried walk over to my friends , who had gone their own ways since we had gotten to the golf course.
<br>
<br>
As I walked, the hills grew and shrunk, and changed colors vividly from blues to purples to electric yellows. The sky changed colors too, but it was never the same color as the hills, just as vivid, but never the same. As I looked up at the stars, could see them moving around, like watching bacteria under a microscope, but they also had lines connecting them, like the pictures you see that depict constellations.
<br>
<br>
I found my friends and sat down to play guitar, me and my friend also on acid were the only ones sitting down, the ecstacy was apparently bunk for my buddy. I played 'wish you were here' by pink floyd, and beautiful colors swayed in front of me as the tones changed, I could see the smiling faces of my family growing out of the colors and forming in front of me as if they were the colors-as my feelings changed at different points of the song, like I was matching their energy at times of their life, it was like we were all experiencing it together, and right then I knew, that I have no mom, and no dad, and we are all the same person, one thing, were just a group of molecules multiplying and dying, were all just love. Beautiful, eternal love.
<br>
<br>
My sober buddy wanted to leave, and me and my friend were so 'at peace', that we just got up, though as we started to leave everything just kept growing in intensity.
<br>
<br>
As we walked I attempted closing my eyes because I could feel waves of energy flowing through me that were just growing in intensity, and I was trying to escape the harsh electric feeling that would shoot through me as they passed, and every time I closed my eyes I didn't want to open them again, it was like there were different things to be seen every time I closed them, the first time I shut my eyes, a cloud formed in the center of my vision and faces of things I had seen in my childhood started growing and shrinking out of the contours of the cloud, Gumby, Bugs Bunny, and finger puppets my sisters used to play with me with, grew and became love, then shrink back into the cloud.
<br>
<br>
As I walked down the street I closed my eyes again, I saw flashes of hamsas, and symbols I have seen that describe certain religions, crosses, stars, people, such as saints I have never seen before and hindu gods, just ever changing in front of my eyes, morphing into each other... They were all one, still I saw only love behind all of them, as if there is no religion, because it appeared to me that I WAS god, and (to me) jesus was just a sage, or a guru, trying to tell people about love-or the pathway to understanding, oneness, unity or in my eyes 'the godhead'. I was jesus. I was buddha. I was, the universe. And it didn't matter if it was moses, or muhammad, it was and to me, is always- just a groovy trip to the center, where you just become it all, and you just love.
<br>
<br>
My friend drove us to his house, as it was a safe place to be on a hallucinogen, and I couldn't tell you more than 10 seconds of that 30 minute car ride because of all of these visions, colors and shapes I had that kept me from actually seeing the road, or even being able to comprehend that I was in a car, it was absolutely mind blowing, one of the only things I can tell you is that at one point, the car, with everyone in it had shrunk to a size of a molecule and soaked into my skin, then I was tied right back in to the visuals.
<br>
<br>
As I started to come down from the trip and realize that 'I' had problems again, but patterns would infuse them selfs into those problems and show me that its my perspective that created them and that there not real and I was still part of this ever changing love. One of the last hallucinations I had was a border on the top and bottom of my line of sight, like I was looking at a computer, they were dancing skeletons, not scary just rejoicing, as if to say, 'thanks for coming and meeting us, we will always be here, but remember, that we never were'.
<br>
<br>
LSD changed my life, and each experience was different, but the message of love was in all of them.
<br>
<br>
<span class="erowid-note">[Erowid Note:
Claims of measured microgram dosages for LSD are usually unsupported. Quantitative measurements for LSD are very difficult to do and cannot be done casually. Without further detailed information about how the measurements were derived, it is reasonable to assume that most statements of microgram dosages of LSD on blotter or in microdots are either misinformed or overstated.]</span><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2013</td><td width="90">ExpID: 107000</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 19</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 18, 2021</td><td>Views: 589</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=107000&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=107000&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : First Times (2), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:20</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">151 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Running a 5K Race on LSD
<br>
<br>
A good friend of mine had an LSD hookup that had some pretty amazing tabs. I've done my fair share of good LSD, mushrooms, mescaline etc. and these white on white papers blew my mind. Some of the purest L I've ever had the pleasure of tripping on. It's such a beautiful clean trip. I had one more tab left after having tripped on the rest I bought a few nights ago. Just one tab of this LSD was enough to have an exceptionally strong trip. My friend and his girl each took only half of a hit and both of them still tripped harder than they had on any other L.
<br>
<br>
Anyways, I was at the local pub playing my guitar like I usually do on Friday nights. I wasn't really expecting to trip. However, when I got there and played my set and socialized with some people I started getting really good vibes and decided I may as well drop some LSD! I went to the bathroom, and dropped half of the 1 hit on my tongue, I didn't take the full hit at first, because I thought my friend might want the other half. felt that tingly electric feeling as the LSD entered my bloodstream. I then walked back to parking lot to hang out and smoke some weed with friends. This happened around 12:00 am.
<br>
<br>
After I dropped my uncle off at home, I decided I should head to this free Trance music festival downtown. There were some pretty good psy-trance Dj's there and I thought I might as well meet some people down there and rave all night on acid! About 20 minutes after dropping I could already feel slight waves of euphoric energy rushing through my body. There's nothing like the feeling of good clean lucy. Around the same time I reached the venue the cops had already shown up and were busting up the party. I guess the venue wasn't legit. But no worries, I met this cool dude who gave me the address to an afterparty rave. It didn't start til 1 am though, so I went home, having about 35 minutes to kill.
<br>
<br>
The lucy was bringing me higher and higher. I sat down at my computer and put on some Hendrix. Always good acid tripping music. The music flowed through my head in waves. I looked at my Facebook messages, and saw a message from my current potential other. We had a strange connection. I used to be in a relationship with her and I guess I kinda still am. We've been hanging out again recently. She asked me if I wanted to chill and I invited her to the afterparty with me. She was down. I saved the other half of that hit for her in case she wanted it.
<br>
<br>
At about 12:45 Taurus (we'll call her that) arrived at my house. She was really tired and just wanted to get drunk. She didn't want that other half so I dropped it. We drove to the party and it was actually pretty dead. We also saw a few cops rolling around. By this time I was starting to trip and with Taurus being tired, we decided we'd both probably be better off just relaxing at my house.
<br>
<br>
1:20 We're back at my apartment complex sitting in the parking lot. Taurus is asleep so I let her be for a while and don't disturb her. The L is coming on strong. All of the numbers on the speedometer wiggle and jump up and down. Blue rays descend gently from each streetlight. A Live Grateful Dead disk is in my CD player and my mind starts to zone out. I'm in such a beautiful head space. I sit and listen to at least 3 live jams before waking Taurus for a hit of weed and walking her inside. The lyrics and Jerry's guitar solos speak deeply to my soul.
<br>
<br>
Back in my apartment. It's about 2:00. I make the softest bed I can for Taurus. I'm starting to feel deep appreciation for her and am doing whatever I can to make her feel comfortable. She's hungry so I make her an English muffin and some Macaroni Cheese. Haha, That was interesting. Wandering around my kitchen in an intense LSD mind state, I discover the bottle of orange juice in my fridge. I down the whole thing. Vitamin C is good for your brain. That's when my trip really kicked into gear.
<br>
<br>
Around 3:00 now. Every time I feel like I'm peaking, I get higher. I think the orange juice made all the difference. Taurus is sleeping gently next to my. Grateful Dead Radio is on on Sirius XM. They are playing a show from 4/29/71. It's absolutely beautiful. I get lost in the music, lay next to Taurus, and close my eyes, letting it carry me away. I loose all sense of time and space, there are times where I feel like I'm literally at the show, hearing people in the crowd talk about the band and whatnot. I turn the lights off and beautiful visuals overwhelm me. Blue LED sparkling lights and geometric patterns crawl around my walls. My imagination conjures up crazy random images in my brain. Each thought I think echoes in eternity. Complete unity. I feel at one with the entire universe, Every star, every nebula, every being. The Dead play every perfect song for every exact perfect moment. I listen to the entire show... When it's over I sit up, feeling as if I've just traveled across the cosmos in the past couple hours.
<br>
<br>
I don't know what time it is. The sun is getting close to rising, rays of light shine through the cracks in the blinds. Damn, I could really use some ganja right now. I wake up Taurus to ask her if I can smoke a bowl of her weed. She says yes. Damn I love this chick. I pack up a bowl and go sit on the front porch to think about what I just experienced. It's getting lighter and I'm still tripping hard.
<br>
<br>
I sit by the pond by my house as I smoke a fat bowl of high grade medical weed. Ducks gather around me, looking at me curiously. Soon I have a whole flock of ducks chilling around me. Weird. I finish the bowl. I'm stoned now. And still tripping. Not peaking anymore but definitely still tripping. My body feels like it's melting into the nature around me. The willow trees look like giant furry creature moving towards the water. I feel totally unity with the life force of the pond. The water, the plants, the ducks, fish, trees.. they all feel just as part of me as an arm or a leg. That's my best attempt to describe the feeling I felt.
<br>
<br>
The sun begins to rise and the entire pond begins to wake up. Ducks and Geese are singing their morning songs. I take out my acoustic guitar and sing to the sun as it rises. I decide I should go out for a walk in the sunrise. I put on my shades and head out. There is this beautiful patch of nature by my house. Trees and tall plants everywhere, it looks almost like African grasslands, and I spend a lot of time alone there meditating in nature. However, when I arrive at my spot, I am in for a surprise. People. Everywhere. So many people. They're wearing running gear and numbers. Bulldozers have torn trails in my beautiful patch of nature and vendor stands are set up everywhere. A DJ stands blasting annoying pop music on speakers. I go up to one of the event officials. 'What's going on here?' I ask him. His face morphs almost like in fear and loathing as he turns to me. 'Mud run.' He responds. 'Is that like a 5k or something?' 'Yeah.' 'Well, where do I sign up?' I ask. If these fuckers are tearing up this beautiful patch of land, I'm going to at least beat them at their own game. 'Over at the white tent.' The man says, pointing to a white booth set up across the field.
<br>
<br>
Determined to win this 5k, for whatever reason. I approach the registration tent. There's a $70 sign up fee. Fuck that. I'll just enter the race by my own means. I'm gonna need lots of water, and some chewing gum. I put on my running shorts and sunglasses, tie my dreads up in a rag, and jog to the local gas station to buy water and gum. Mind you, I'm still frying on acid at this point. I haven't run a 5k or any race in over a year. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I haven't run a 5k or any race in over a year.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
I warm up and stretch a little. As I approach the start line, they're already getting ready to start the next heat. Perfect timing. I find a place near the finish line behind all the runners and crouch in the tall grass. I know this forest very well, and it will provide me the energy I need to run this race. The gun goes off, and I sprint out from the grass passing most of the runners within the first stretch. I feel like I have massive amounts of energy. Power surges through my body as it moved like a lean beast through the crowd of runners. Colorful visuals still flood my vision, The sun rays beam down in different colors. The adrenaline of the start of the race propels me forward. I soon pass the leader and am at the front of the pack.
<br>
<br>
As the race progressed on I kept my energy going. The trees and the grass all spoke to me and gave my body energy to help me keep going. I felt like a tiger chasing its prey. The race course was a mud obstacle course. I had to climb ropes, jump over hurdles, through tires, climb muddy hills, wade through swamps, balance on beams, jump over ditches, slide down a mudslide and various other obstacles.
<br>
<br>
I got sprayed by water from a bystander and it was one of the most energizing things that could have happened. I surged ahead. There was one musclebound bodybuilder-looking dude who was gaining on me. He looked well trained but I was determined to not let him pass me. I kept him at a reasonable distance behind me. On the final stretch I gave it my all, not knowing how far behind my opponent was. As soon as I crossed the finish line, covered from head to toe in mud and vomit, I collapsed, dry heaved several times, and projectile vomited twice. I won the race through. 19:30 was my time. 1st place. On LSD. Woah. This is an experience I will never forget. The feeling of having just WON a 5k race, and crossing the finish line while tripping on acid is completely fucking awesome. I'd never won a 5k in my life until that day. I felt like a beast. I felt like I could do anything. It was amazing. Dangerous? maybe. I definitely do not recommend it to anyone. I survived though and I don't regret a second of it. I'll remember this trip for the rest of my life that's for sure. Just keep truckin. Beautiful stuff man. Be here now.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2013</td><td width="90">ExpID: 101139</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 19</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 23, 2021</td><td>Views: 584</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=101139&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=101139&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Music Discussion (22), Performance Enhancement (50), Glowing Experiences (4), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">300 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 7:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">85 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Most Amazing Experience of My Life
<br>
<br>
I'm a 22 year old male with previous experience of both LSD and MDMA. I have been taking MDMA on a semi regular basis for 2 years and I have taken LSD a number of times over the last 7 months. I have wanted to candyflip for a while and had made plans to do so at a music festival over the summer. Unfortunately my bag was stolen on the first night along with my drugs so that stopped that plan. Anyway I waited until a suitable time and decided that a local rave that's on every month would be the perfect place. I had a batch of acid that I had already tried before so I had a decent idea of what the dosage was. <!-- It was supposedly 200mcg per tab so -->I took half a tab. I took the tab around 9 in the evening when all my other friends were drinking. They were all taking md but I would be the only one candyflipping. I also decided not to drink as I find it doesn't have any effect while on acid.
<br>
<br>
All other times I took acid it started to kick in within an hour. This time I wasn't really feeling much other than slight body shivers. I also started to feel a bit nervous. I told myself everything would be alright and got ready for the night ahead. We left in a taxi for the venue around 11 and on the journey in I started to feel a bit uncomfortable and strange. I still wasn't feeling any of what I would call positive effects of acid. I wasn't experiencing visuals or having a nice body high.
<br>
<br>
After we arrived at the venue all my friends got a drink and dropped pre-prepared bombs of MDMA. I had decided that I would wait 3 hours after taking the acid to take my MDMA <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I had decided that I would wait 3 hours after taking the acid to take my MDMA</div></div> so I waited a bit longer.
<br>
<br>
During this time I was feeling uncomfortable and out of place. Around 11:30/45 I decided it was time to take my MDMA. I had prepared 2 bombs with 150mg in each one. As I was feeling so uncomfortable on the acid I decided that I wanted to come up on MDMA as soon as possible so instead of swallowing the bombs I chewed them up to get hit quicker. Pretty soon within 10 minutes I was feeling all the effects of the MDMA. I wasn't feeling anything from the acid and thought that maybe it wasn't evenly distributed on the blotter and I must not of taken as much as I thought. The uncomfortable feeling ended as I came up on the MDMA and I started to dance and enjoy myself.
<br>
<br>
Then suddenly around half 12 I felt the acid kick in. I was looking at a strobe light and it was like a switch in my body had been turned on. I was overcome with an immense sense of pleasure. It was so overwhelming I had to stop dancing and lean against a wall to get my breath. It was like nothing I had experienced in my life and was the most incredible feeling. The next 2 hours are a bit of a blur. I just remember feeling amazing and loving. I was feeling love for everybody but at the same time was happy in myself and didn't want to talk with people. I was dancing but still every now and then I had to stop because it felt like I was being overcome with this pleasure feeling.
<br>
<br>
The event ended at half 2 and we walked to a corner store to get water and ice cream. I was still feeling like I was in the rave and was trying to explain to my friends how incredible I felt. They were all starting to come down off the MDMA and wanted to go home so we did. I was still feeling pretty good but could sense the MDMA was wearing off.
<br>
<br>
We got home around 4 and rolled a few joints which we shared. This made me feel like I was coming down and I also felt pretty tired. By now I felt I was coming off both the acid and MDMA and decided it might be a good idea to try sleep. This was at about 5. When I went to bed as soon as I closed my eyes I started having intense closed eye visuals. It was really confusing as I kept seeing myself in the sitting room with my friends as we were a few minutes earlier. As well as the visuals it was a general feeling of being there. This happened a good few times I'm not really sure how many. But as soon as I opened my eyes I realized I was in bed. It was almost like I was going into a dream state as soon as I closed my eyes but with the ability to end it at any moment.
<br>
<br>
Eventually I did fall asleep and slept until around 11. I did wake a couple of times in between but find this very normal after taking MDMA.
<br>
<br>
I had a meeting for college at 12 so had to get up and shower and get ready. I find this is the best way to avoid a bad comedown as doing stuff prevents the negative thoughts that can sometimes happen after taking MDMA. For the next two days I felt pretty tired but other than that I felt good and would say that the positive effects of the night were well worth any side effects on a comedown.
<br>
<br>
I hope you enjoyed reading and that I managed to convey what an amazing experience this was for me. I look forward to trying this again some time in the future. I think at an outdoor music festival could be ideal.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2017</td><td width="90">ExpID: 111089</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 22</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 1, 2021</td><td>Views: 827</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=111089&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=111089&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), MDMA (3) : Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), Rave / Dance Event (18)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 cap</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/amanitas/">Amanitas - A. muscaria</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 72:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 72:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(fresh)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1.5 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Cariprazine</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(daily)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">12 - 3 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/buprenorphine/">Pharms - Buprenorphine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(daily)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Below is copied an email (which describes the A. muscaria experience in full and the LSD &amp; psilocybin-containing Gymnopilus mushroom experience in summary) to my Lacanian training psychoanalyst, who serves as a quasi-spiritual guide for me at many times, since we share our religion, and since he is my supervisor in psychoanalytic training at our Lacanian School, as well as my training psychotherapist. It is important to note for this experience that I am also an Aspirant monk (the lowest rank) to a contemplative biritual (Eastern &amp; Roman) Catholic order. Here the two trips is described in detail, with more detail going to the Amanita experience, which was like the positioning of many questions that the LSD/psilocybin experience three days later counterpointed in response. Following, I will try to fill in the blanks of the LSD/psilocybin (combination) experience, this Friday night, alone in my room in the dark silence of prayer. While the email is directed at my analyst, obviously most of the information can be understood by any general audience. It opens with an explanation of events prior to the trip (set):
<br>
<br>
"Essentially, a lexicon of dissociated signifiers were streaming like a lightning bolt, like mycelium, or a flowing river path, through my whole world. An entire lexicon of images, symbols, and words with their private associations and webs of meaning -- and in all four of the languages I speak -- were, frankly, assaulting me. Here, the stage is set for a ripe and productive session of prayerful psychedelic entheogen usage. Here too, the stage is arranged for a life of contemplative prayer -- only after I was able to -- and I say "was" because I have done this, certainly - invert the assault of this tireless syntax into the redemption of the Word.
<br>
<br>
Before medicating myself [with my prescribed antipsychotic medication; Vraylar, 1.5 mg], what I gleaned from the drama was that there were "star" moments -- or, "stark" times -- and there were "wood" moments -- or, "word" times or "world" times or "work" moments. Two dual signifiers of event and rest, point and space. This metonymy only made sense to me after the Soma mushrooms whereby I discovered the tangent point in two circles of infinitely different sizes where the inmost point in myself touches and meets the open ocean of God. Then, three days later, the LSD experience where I sojourned on a prayerful search for the answer signified by constancy, the question being that which had been carved like a hole in me -- perhaps exactly where I open into God -- by the enigma of desire. Regarding desire, one of the lessons I have begun to institute is the starving of desire in order to reduce the surplus proliferations of a restless soul -- which, when done properly, leaves behind a desire unbroken yet like a pinprick point, desire which has been killed by starvation yet which traces infinitum through the sand of my heart like a Holy Ghost.
<br>
<br>
This period of days following, I realized I had almost completely fallen from grace into the world of blindness and desolation I had inhabited for the past year or more until All Soul's Day, 2020. And I searched desperately for an answer to the questions that had been posed and imposed on me, really, since the fateful cipher of the comforts and traumas of my early life.
<br>
<br>
So, I decided to give psychedelic substances a shot. I went on my first mushroom hunt in over a year.
<br>
<br>
I should describe some historical detail here; I have used psychedelics, obviously among many drugs from which I am now completely sober/abstinent, around 40 different times over the past seven years, beginning when I was fourteen. Let's just say I had a good time in high school, both educationally and socially, and had a tendency of recklessness combined with a need to explore. My usage of psychedelics was always spaced far apart, and I, having researched meticulously since a young age, recognized their power, potential, and danger with deep caution and respect from the outset. I first experienced LSA through morning glory seeds, and later LSD ordered from the dark net, when I was in middle school. This sounds bad: a young teenager using these powerful drugs, however, I regard the experiences as opening a veritable universe of questions to me that allowed me to make some limited sense of the trauma I had experienced and rocketed me into the, at the time, precocious maturity that I continue to work on. Never did a psychedelic experience actually trigger any psychotic phenomena for me -- in stark contrast to my experiences with Cannabis -- I believe, precisely because I already had so much deep and harrowing familiarity with the limits and recesses of the human psyche because of my having had my first psychotic break and diagnosis of schizophrenia prior to this experimentation.
<br>
<br>
So, the mushroom hunt was successful, obviously, and quite a spiritually enriching activity actually. There are a truly numerous amount of reasons why fungi/mushrooms of any type are utterly amazing biologically, ecologically, culturally, but I will just say that the mushrooms seem to call and guide one during the hunt towards themselves. I spoke with my friend Vita, my brother's girlfriend, while walking and ingressing with the mushrooms.
<br>
<br>
At home, I prepared a tea of one Amanita muscaria / fly agaric cap. First arrived the strange and pleasant sensation of utter clarity and tranquil synchronized thinking. (Remember, psychoactive Amanitas are very different from psilocybin mushrooms or LSD.) I was almost tired, but more simply peaceful. I almost fell asleep, until I was jolted awake with an incredible stimulation and productivity. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I almost fell asleep, until I was jolted awake with an incredible stimulation and productivity.</div></div> I went outside of my room to smoke a cigarette, and the garden looked awesome under the wavering moonlight. During this time, I then, I sketched out the following in my notebook, entranced by the stimulation of the mushroom. I felt compelled to examine the flaws in my life, and to create a pragmatic plan to live exactly how I ought to live, guided by several texts which have been crucially formative. This plan, I called: The Redeeming Act. I realized, during the trance of the Amanita mushroom, that I had a significant problem with DOING and needed to proceed utterly fearlessly with the stillness required of a monk in order to live a redeemed life. I mapped out every detail of the problem at hand. I realized that, perhaps, what I had been given is possibly exactly enough after all this time. I needed "to be a person on whom nothing is lost." Then, I would be the "new man psychoanalysis aims to create." (Otto Rank) Doing this would require a breakdown in the barriers between myself, and fully trusting my environment. I realized: I had to stop thinking and start trusting and doing, moving towards contemplation rather than rumination. The search for self will always be a trap; for me, I must simply Be. Do.
<br>
<br>
Pray, Love, Work, &amp;c.
<br>
<br>
My main issue was with trust and a search/need for security, which I had to conquer. I felt a fervent love for the Eucharist and a desire to spend as much time as possible before the Flesh in Bread. I knew I had to do what I ought to do, and act on principles and convictions without exclusive reference to moods and feelings, like a saraobite. The only clear path ahead of me was to starve desire, as I described. Questions and insights had arisen, which had been present for quite some long time, that I only resolved several days later with the LSD and psilocybin mushroom experience as a resolution or capitulation to what the Amanita muscaria had opened up.
<br>
<br>
When I was done with this plan, I fell into a deep dream like state, but one of absolute lucidity and clarity. I went inside and lied down. It had been about six hours now, and it was 2 AM. During this time, I perceived the silent centered part of myself that connected like a secret tangent to the ocean of God. I had a colloquy with the Divine Source, God in Christ and the "lengua indefatigable" of the Holy Spirit (a double-entendre), and received the voice of a particular oracle, which I copied down:
<br>
<br>
"Clear as the daylight which speaks, the Universe embeds meaning unto Good meaning. This comes to teach-- through the seekers -- unto you, my child who art misery, my son who art joy &amp; order upon the crown layered mine truth after truth after truth.
<br>
<br>
Trust &amp; still you, through delighted rest, ye temple refashioned on press heavy my wounding chest. Be still -- suspended -- be like that dull echo call."
<br>
<br>
Then, I slept. I dreamt. All in all, I was surprised because the time was not so different from certain states I can go to naturally. This was also noticeable with the LSD and psilocybin experience, which I will recount next; it was all familiar; I believe I handle psychedelics so well just because I can already go to these places sober -- a state where signifiers become loose and abound in the everyday world which speaks -- although in a more "psychotic" state for me, psychedelics can very easily exacerbate the issue to the point of utter calamity. This is why the risk is so great for me as a subject, and subsequently why I take great lengths to prepare and be safe, and use these substances so very infrequently -- and only at amenable times.
<br>
<br>
Okay, as I write this, I'm getting tired, and I will have to follow up with the account of the LSD/psilocybin mushroom experience later. However, I will paste the images of my notes during the experience. All you need to know for now is that I spent the whole time in prayer, in the dark in my room, then later walked at sunrise to the Eucharist, and will be making Confession tomorrow. The immediate effect was that I am legitimately safe in my home, in my perception now, leading to actually joyful encounters in my family life, contrasted with prior.
<br>
<br>
It was even more powerful than the Amanita time, and it answered questions with profound clarity that have awakened me into a sober and safely certain life. It was like a deep and long overdue "cleaning" of the unconscious, like signifiers that had been trapped in deep and incessantly reappeared to taint my view of reality were swept away and understood/integrated in a way that leads me to believe I was utterly blind before this, in a way that ties everything together with simple grace and elegant solubility -- While as a perpetual student of the spiritual and analytic life I must always move forward to learn, and while only time can truly tell, with the cipher of the traumas that have plagued my perception of reality in madness and confusion for so long, at least in their cleaning, I can truly say that for those means: through the redeeming lexicon of all previously schismatic symbols now reorganized only toward &amp; under the Divine Word, I am truly cured.
<br>
<br>
You will notice I could only express myself in several languages [Photos of handwritten notes accompanied the original production of this experience report]. I am still wondering why that is, but I am happy to discuss the nuances of translation, and explain the impact and relevance of this at our next session."
<br>
<br>
Essentially, the LSD experience was characterized by this promulgation of signifiers that had long since lay dead in me -- and my search to understand them. I began with cleaning things, moved to prayer in the dull light, went outside frequently to smoke cigarettes and look at the stars. This moment of looking at the stars allowed me to understand that so many of my greatest problems and greatest gifts were due to not being grounded. As well, looking at the stars in the darkness of the garden reminded me strongly of my first night at the monastery, when the Prior allowed us all to drive up to the mountains and watch an astronomical event with prayerful vigilance, celebration; it was the first time I had experienced such a characteristic sense of contemplation, that I had only glimpsed before in backpacking trips (which we occasionally undertake as monks in pilgrimages to the wilderness). In fact, throughout the trip, I had a strong desire to return to the monastery immediately, although I knew it would be unwise to show up intoxicated! I fondly recalled our little familial community, the dark and sprawling libraries, the winding stairs and chapel oratory and the sunroof in the shedding dawn light, and my simple iconography-decorated monastic cell.
<br>
<br>
Saturday night, while I was trying to fall asleep, I again returned outdoors to smoke a cigarette (a savory indulgence we are not allowed to partake in at the monastery), and I was reminded of this simple joy at living, and the sensation of the real presence of God's magnificence in and through and around all things -- one and the same. Saturday, the day after the Friday night I took the LSD, was perhaps more important than the peak of the experience. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Saturday, the day after the Friday night I took the LSD, was perhaps more important than the peak of the experience.</div></div> Although I was exhausted and sleep-deprived with various cardiovascular effects of the LSD and/or psilocybin leading to my skin become very flush/dry (similar to my time on methamphetamine) and my appendages reacting to the cold of the winter, I truly recovered to a good and graced mood of interaction with my family -- whose trauma meets my own in complicated ways -- prophesying the days of genuine healing we have ahead of us that have already been embarked upon in many ways.
<br>
<br>
During prayer, which consisted of chanting the Latin Divine Office (Extraordinary Form), Lectio Divina, and the rosary, I felt such a strong relation to the Psalms that I was overwhelmed with a mournful love for God and the potentials and predicaments of humankind. I copied down most of the insights into my journal, photographed and reproduced here, whose scribbling took on its own form of sprawling topographic notation and ergodic readings. Most of this experience I spent here, reverent and adoring, in the quiet of my comfortable and clean little sanctuary of my room in my childhood home. I will try to explain some of these mystical insights that arose. In general, I must say that I was very glad that for quite some time, both inside and outside the monastery, I have been relatively cleansed or fasting or purged from excessive, surplus, "jouissance-laden" inordinate stimulus like television, advertisement, pornography, or otherwise harmful subconsciously-impactful images and symbols.
<br>
<br>
I was terrified at the idea that I could forget the Jesus Prayer, which I said periodically throughout the experience to center myself in my breath. To this today I continually say the Jesus Prayer to "remind" myself of God, as often as I draw breath; inspired by this experience and my monastery community.
<br>
<br>
About four hours into the experience, the frenzy settled, and I entered a more meditative state. Questions that had long plagued me had revealed themselves to have obvious solutions. I understood deep experiences and associations of shame, including social and sexual shame, and processed them so that they no longer blinded me. I came to the radical conclusion that "hell is empty" in the sense I need not be afraid -- indeed, I need to proceed trusting and fearlessly -- into the problems of the past that inhabited like demons the literal household I tripped in that night, as well as the potentials and dilemmas arising in the future; I needed to "sea seguro" -- to trust, to be "safe", "certain", "sure". I wrote these notes in a combination of Ecclesiastic Latin, Connacht Irish Gaelic, English, and Latin American Spanish because the Mystery of the Word(s) were abounding within me, all "jumbled up" and this was truly the best and most intuitive and accurate way I could express what was being delivered to me and my interpretations thereof.
<br>
<br>
I felt I was totally blind before this. I knew that many, many mystical experiences, mostly sober, had gone into making this epiphany. But nonetheless, before this, I was blind; now I see. "It is no longer I that lives; it is Christ that lives in me." I understood that the "Constant" I had searched for was actually an immutable part of myself, an inner compass. I knew I had to "be like li, like mycelium, like the topography of river streams, like a sprawling map, like lightning; I had to become the mushroom. I was motivated to make an earnest and honest Confession.
<br>
<br>
At dawn, I walked in the park and witnessed the most incredible sunrise I had seen. Here, I navigated the deep shame I carried because of my history of sexual/physical abuse when I was a child. I understood that I was safe now; really, safe -- truly safe. I had not believed that since I was about seven years old, and here now, I am again, safe. I copied down in Irish the pondering that "God was perhaps too bright; I cannot see what (S)He is because of the light being exuded." The predicament of light, seeing, blindness, speech, and silence preoccupied me. I knew I was on the right path to cultivating a life nourished by the fruits of sacred silence. I knew "what I had to do"; an adjuration delivered to me -- sober but in the midst of a psychotic episode for which I was subsequently hospitalized -- by three apparitions of the Blessed Virgin Mary (which I interpreted like a Jungian anima) in Advent of 2018. I was glad to have found a way out of madness -- maybe even only now -- and a way to see. I was grateful and gave thanks to God and the spirits around me, such as the mushrooms in my room.
<br>
<br>
I fell asleep after my walk in the park and spent the rest of the day in rest and in peace with my family. I now must prepare for the beginning of a truly full and worthwhile life as the semester begins, and as I prepare to return again to the monastery. I do not know what made these two psychedelic experiences more productive than the rest, and I may never, but the mysterious insight of peace has not left me and I suspect it never will.
<br>
<br>
--- MadMonk
<br>
<br>
[Reported Dose: "A. muscaria: 1 medium cap. LSD: 1 blotter. Gymnopilus sp. 3 fresh small mushroom full-bodies."]<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2021</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115135</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 5, 2021</td><td>Views: 1,681</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=115135&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=115135&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Ritual (129), Amanitas - A. muscaria (70), LSD (2), Mushrooms (39) : Alone (16), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Multi-Day Experience (13), Mystical Experiences (9), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.25 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.50 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.25 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">70 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
The following details my first, and only experience to date, of LSD.
<br>
<br>
I set aside a weekend to explore this drug and bought the tabs on the Friday previous. I was nervous to try the substance, but I had done plenty of research beforehand into its effects. I decided to take the substance alone despite recommendations as I felt the presence of others could induce anxiety during the trip. I did however message a couple of friends throughout the trip and I suppose they acted as virtual trip sitters.
<br>
<br>
I woke up early on the Saturday and tried to clear and relax my mind as much as possible before the trip. I dosed a quarter of a 120μg tab at around 10:30am. The initial effects I noticed were that the techno music I was listening to became clearer and more pleasing, and the snow outside became brighter and more beautiful. Edges became sharper as if I was watching the world like an ultra–HD TV. These effects were very subtle and there were no mind-altering effects except a very mild, constant and pleasing euphoria. I decided, happy with the effects so far, to dose a further half a tab, bringing my total consumption to 90μg. I didn’t notice new effects at this dose, but rather the subtle effects became enhanced.
<br>
<br>
At this point I realised that I had to stop messing around and commit to a full psychedelic experience and go all in.
<br>
<br>
I dosed the final quarter, rolled a large joint up and ventured outside. It was as if the acid was beckoning me to seek out nature. I remember thinking as I swallowed the final quarter of the tab “you’ll be a hero”. I realise now that this was the beginnings of the grandiose thought altering effects I experienced. I walked along the streets and had to stop myself from laughing hysterically, the euphoria gripped me in ways no other drug had ever provided. The sheer happiness did not feel manufactured either, but rather a natural consequence of the thought altering behaviour of the compound. It felt as if people were staring at me, I felt as if I had some great power and people were noticing it. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">It felt as if people were staring at me, I felt as if I had some great power and people were noticing it.</div></div> I had to physically grab my face to prevent myself from laughing as I walked past people, they probably thought I was unhinged in some way. At this point the visual effects were becoming more intense, the roads warped and swayed and flattened out as if I had no depth perception at all. I remember almost forgetting I had taken a drug at all and began developing a delusion that I had some sort of innate power that was enabling me to see details I had never before noticed.
<br>
<br>
As I neared the footpath that would take me to fields and woods, it became difficult to judge distances and avoid cars. I would not recommend doing what I did and go walking the streets on acid, <!-- you are putting yourself-->I was putting myself in much more danger than <!-- you-->I probably realise at the time. As I descended into the woods down the path I felt as though I was in stasis, not moving at all. I heard voices and footsteps behind me only to turn round and realise I was alone. The squelch of my footsteps in the mud had an almost whispering quality and the leaves and trees warped and swayed around me much more than the wind could achieve. In the centre of my vision, I began seeing pulsing geometry, but it was very faint and seemed to disappear as soon as I noticed it. As I neared the end of the path, which opened into a field, I realised that the ground beneath me was perfectly symmetrical, as if whatever I was looking at would become tiled across my vision. I should note that this was all pre smoking the joint - that took me to a whole other realm.
<br>
<br>
I began to develop strange thought processes, I believed I was on a journey, both into the woods and into my own mind. I thought I had been sent on a mission by some other worldly force. I remember at this point the thought loops began. It all started when I typed the word “bro” to one of the mates I mentioned earlier. For some bizarre reason, the word “bro” looped in my mind from this point forward and was present in all the thought loops I had. I remember thinking how stupid the word “bro” was and how pathetic it was that I, this spiritual traveller – or so I thought - was using such a worldly term. I really began to analyse language in this way from this point on, thinking how strange some words were and seeing hidden meanings in what my friends were messaging me. I decided at this point that nature was calling me to smoke the joint, a product of nature, to complement the LSD, a product of man.
<br>
<br>
This is where shit got really crazy. I made it about halfway through the joint and ventured into the woods. I remember looking down at my phone and my entire field of view curling comically away from me and splitting into RGB colours, outside of this was completely black – it was as if I was peeling away reality and viewing what was beneath. I could still type on my phone; my actual thought process was not yet altered. The hallucinations were comical, things warping and bending and everything splitting into its component RGB colours. Then they became more ordered, everything I looked at fragmented into triangles and branched or mirrored or warped. Everything was perfectly symmetrical and ordered. Then my mind itself began branching like a tree, mirroring what was happening to my vision. This sounds strange but it is the only way I can describe it. I remember trying to type this to my friend, but I realised I had become trapped in a thought loop, going to type to him before forgetting before starting the train of thought again. My vision spiralled and warped and matched the thought loop as if my entire experience was in frames of visuals, thought, audio etc and was being sliced and mixed.
<br>
<br>
I decided to go with it. I spun around in a circle for what seemed like ages. I had only made it a couple of footsteps into the wood and yet I couldn’t escape because if I tried to think to leave I would forget and loop back to the start of that train of thought. I remember thinking I could easily traverse the 3 dimensions of space home, yet I couldn’t traverse the dimension of thought and logic required to do so. This went on for a while although my concept of time was reasonably fucked so I have no idea how long I was standing there. I remember hearing a siren, I don’t know if it was real or not, but that audio became part of the thought loop, playing over and over.
<br>
<br>
Eventually I made it back to the footpath, it was getting dark and cold now – I barely felt the temperature but I realised this was probably drug induced and that I should get home to warmth particularly as it was snowing. The walk home was scary, I felt people were watching me the whole way back but I managed to calm myself by breathing slow and remembering I was on a drug. I got home. There’s no other way to describe it except I was absolutely and totally off my arse, I have never felt so drugged up. I encountered a flatmate and he knew straight away I was off my rocker. I quickly retreated to my room and experienced many similar hallucinations and thought loops. Music I listened to had an ethereal quality and sped up and slowed down. I created many works of art – fuelled by the intense synaesthesia I was experiencing. I got stuck in a few thought loops again but decided to allow them and let the acid take me where it wanted. Eventually I came down enough to leave my room. The effects of the LSD lingered for the rest of the day.
<br>
<br>
The next day I felt completely calm and relaxed. I’ve suffered with depression for a long time, but the LSD had an extremely calming effect on it. I hope to delve into this drug many times in the future and look forward to all that can be learnt from this substance. I would not recommend going it alone like I did but for me that was the best thing. LSD truly is a magical substance<!-- and I would recommend it to anyone who has done their research and is in the right mindset-->.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2021</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115152</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 16, 2021</td><td>Views: 576</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=115152&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=115152&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Nature / Outdoors (23), Depression (15), First Times (2), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">13 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">Repeated hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(flowers)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">157 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
The substance(s) in this report is not properly identified. Although the report is included in the collection, the substance might be something other than the author believed it to be.]</span>
<br>
<br>
Ever since I took my first hit of weed, I have been searching for LSD. I figured it just didn't exist, and my searches became less frequent and I paid less attention to the desire to do LSD, because I just figured it would never happen.
<br>
<br>
In the halls at school, a friend runs up to me, telling me he is getting acid soon. 2 days later, I purchased 17 hits on Sweetarts. I sold 4 to my friend right away, and we all made plans to go to our friends house that night. At about 9:20, I let 2 hits dissolve in my mouth, with extremely high anticipation and excitement. After an hour, nothing is happening. After 2, still nothing. I let another one dissolve. An hour later, nothing, I'm pissed! I call my friend, he took his at 6 and never felt anything. I stand up to drive over there, and I feel a bit light headed... placebo?
<br>
<br>
I get over there, it's probably 12:00, and I feel noticeably distant... feels like I just took a very tiny toke off a clogged pipe with very shitty shwag in it. I don't know if I could even consider it a buzz, just something there. We get to his house, after 1 hit of weed, I can tell the room is different, something is off. We smoke an indeterminate amount of weed, cycling through very good hydro and decent shwag. I notice the Rob Zombie poster on his wall has shooting stars, and his eyes are moving around and he's dancing. The relief on the poster changes, and he appears to slightly protrude. And dance. And sing with the music (even though the music is NIN). I figure we just smoked a bunch of weed, but all of our eyes are huge. They claim no visuals, the acid didn't work, but they were behaving extremely erratically. So I figure there's something in those sweet tarts. They agree, we're just not sure what.
<br>
<br>
I get home after the weirdest car ride ever, I listened to choruses of chanting robots on the radio, and every street I drove through felt like the same damn street, over and over again. I was getting real pissed that I was driving in circles. Then I realize I'm at my house. I get out, and go inside.
<br>
<br>
A huge bubble... making a large amount of my vision appears, just making everything in the bubble push out towards my face. The flower patterns on the wall move around, jaggedly, and glows between the cracks. I'm really fucked up, the rest of the night disappears, I'm not sure if I fell asleep and dreamed it or just slept. I'm still not sure if it was acid, or the weed, cause I had never smoked so much hydro in my life. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I'm not sure if I fell asleep and dreamed it or just slept. I'm still not sure if it was acid, or the weed, cause I had never smoked so much hydro in my life.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
The next night, I decide to just drop 10 hits and see what goes on. I think it was odd that it took 4+ hours to kick in last time. I let them dissolve on my tongue, 3 at a time (they're too big to fit any more into your mouth), and after an hour I noticed there was a ... moving, rubber film on my face that moved and changed the structure a bit. Nothing else.
<br>
<br>
Later, the curtains moved around, and the computer screen seemed a little brighter. I just took 10 hits of acid, I read about people really freaking out on it, and I felt more sober than I did from just smoking a couple bowls. I'm pissed, maybe it was the weed.
<br>
<br>
I decide to go smoke then, to push whatever the hell I am feeling farther. The trees move a little bit like water, but that's it. I can type/converse just fine, contrary to pot in pretty much any amount. I see slight patterning on a dark wall when I concentrate HARD, but other than that, there's nothing... except the body load.
<br>
<br>
Let me just say that this is one of the worst things ever. It felt like there was a brick of cement in my stomach, and I had to shit and puke at the same time, but nothing ever came. I knew it wouldn't. It filled up my whole torso, the dull yet blinding pain. I was wincing in pain. This sucked. It went on for a few hours. The 'visuals' were gone within 30 minutes, but this pain lasted 8+ hours. The next day I felt more fucked up than I did while I was tripping. I don't know what the hell went on here. In a way, I do believe it was real acid, because I got some threshold effects.<!-- But I got these with 3 and 10 hits. And the body load was extreme, but not as bad as DXM. I just dont understand...ill have to wait till the next batch comes in, because if this is what the wonder drug acid is like, I dont know if I want to do it anymore. I really expected more, and I still do. -->
<br>
<br>
<span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. <a href="/chemicals/show_image.php?i=dmt/dmt_contraindications1.gif">Don't do it!</a>]</span><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2002</td><td width="90">ExpID: 12638</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 26, 2021</td><td>Views: 888</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=12638&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=12638&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Cannabis (1), LSD (2) : What Was in That? (26), Health Problems (27), Combinations (3), First Times (2), General (1), Multi-Day Experience (13), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Pharms - Lamotrigine </td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(daily)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(daily)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I started experimenting with psychedelics in early 2020 when I was a junior in high school. Prior to this experience, I had taken mushrooms 3 times, LSD about 5 or 6 times (though I never tested my tabs, and a couple of those were probably N-Bombs). I was on medication (Lamictal 100g daily) for epilepsy, though this never seemed to have any effect on any drug I've taken. I was a heavy pot smoker at this time.
<br>
<br>
It was a quiet breezy Texas day when my friend and I dropped 3 and a half tabs each. I'll call him K. We walked to my neighborhood cafe in the morning, sat outside, and got some tacos after dropping. These hit quicker than normally, we were laughing a lot and couldn't really tell how loud we were being (all the employees here were total stoners and I've shown up absolutely blasted too many times for this to make a difference). I remember we thought we were pirates for a brief moment sitting out at the table. Then it just kept hitting and hitting and we eventually had to leave because we started saying some extremely stupid shit and making funny faces.
<br>
<br>
We walked back to my house, it was nearly noon. At this point, our faces looked very swirly and my house was breathing. We weren't dropping this time for any particular reason - normally, I like to meditate a bit when I trip, try to get outside in nature at least for a little bit, surf around on Google Earth and look at all the craziest places I can find, and listen to some good ol' music. Anything else that happened was an added bonus. Anyway, we played some Windhand, Pink Floyd, and Darkthrone when we got back and marveled at how good it sounded before I packed a bowl of 1g pure indica. We smoked it all in my backyard at about 1pm. At some point inside after that, I picked up a guitar and started plucking and we both bugged out for a second. I could barely play the guitar at first because it felt all melty like one of those clocks from that Salvador Dali painting, but then the sound just filled my small living room and seemed to bounce off of every wall (which was turning different colors). K looked absolutely mesmerized. Neither of us had played an instrument like that on acid and it sounded mega fucking cool. After that, we decided to head out again and walk to one of the neighborhood pocket parks.
<br>
<br>
This particular park we went to has always been very special to me. Growing up, I would always go there as a kid and swing on the rope swing, play by the river and watch the minnows, and build little 'fairy houses' on the tree roots. It's in the middle of a split road, so you climb down a little row of earthen stairs and you're in the green clearing. There's a little river on the right side, earth walls full of moss on the left, and massive Texan oak trees all around. The ground has a worn path through the top and bottom of the park, surrounded by clovers. It was the perfect smoke spot for me as I grew through my younger teenage years, and so I thought it would be an amazing park to ride the high of my trip in. While on our walk, we noticed the array of palm trees on some of the houses in my neighborhood and the old beat-up trucks under the sun. I had always felt the ability to transport myself to another time or place while on psychedelics, and this was no exception. I mentioned to K that it felt like I was in 1970s coastal California, to which he agreed immediately. I must have been tripping balls, because we live in Central-Southern Texas. On one of the main streets we passed, I saw the laundromat in English and Spanish with its old blue faded banner which really solidified my time and space travel thoughts. We were almost to the park when I thought it would be very cool to play some music from my phone. I remember looking at my phone when I pulled it out and laughing at how much it looked like an alien robot. I started playing Mirror Reaper by Bell Witch (if you don't know what that is, it's an 83-minute long ambient-doom song). We finally got to the reserve park and descended down to the riverbed and trail, which is where the trip really starts.
<br>
<br>
The first thing I remember is how vivid the entire scene looked. The sun was shining through the tall trees and bending them all around, the green was EXTRA green. Like extremely green. I was almost blinded by how green everything looked - it was so beautiful. Each branch on the tall trees wiggled, the minnows in the stream were gleaming bright colors, and the ground was completely beckoning me forward. Walking straight ahead, the clearing in the park looked like a portal in a video game. I motioned to K to keep walking ahead with me. We walked a couple more minutes along the glistening river when we finally got to the rope swing. We sat down, Bell Witch still playing. K took the swing and I sat on the ground, I think I even laid down on the dirt for a while. My main realization began here:
<br>
<br>
I reached out and felt the clovers between my fingers. I touched the dirt all over and wandered over to the water. I closed my eyes and listened to the babble of the stream while visions of wavering caves appeared behind my eyes. I had never, ever felt this level of serenity in my entire life. My breath felt divine, like such a graceful gift. I felt like I was literally breathing with nature and the world. I forgot K was behind me on the swing. The music from my phone seemed so peaceful and intertwined with me that I could not separate it from the park. I looked over at K and said "this is the soundtrack of nature" to which he replied "no this is Mirror Reaper" which made me laugh very hard. But it didn't really distract me from the experience I was having. I sank deeper down into the riverbed, crouching along all the clovers and leaves.
<br>
<br>
All at once, I felt an overwhelming sense of grief overcome my entire heart and soul and body. I had never felt this hurt before - it absolutely felt like my heart was breaking. I looked all around me and realized it was coming from the park. I lifted my head and looked beyond the park at the street full of houses and began to cry. In that moment, it felt like every single thing humans have done to invade this part of earth was an invasion. I looked at the closest house, with its extracted wood used to make the building and the concrete on the sidewalk and started crying. I knew that some part of this living, breathing green entity that I was breathing with had been destroyed and exploited just to make that one house. And then I looked down and saw 10 more houses do the same. I could feel the pain of nature come up through my fingers and into my whole body. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I could feel the pain of nature come up through my fingers and into my whole body.</div></div> I felt so terrible to be part of a human race that had destroyed and depleted this beauty. The heart of the earth started beating with mine and I felt the deep grief even deeper. K saw that I was very upset and sat with me and I tried telling him how I felt in that moment, but I knew I couldn't articulate even a fraction of what I felt. I think he realized this as well and gave me some time to reflect. I couldn't stop touching the little clovers that surrounded my body. I could see them breathing and moving all around the ground, some content, but some crying out for help. The sun warmed me and I knew it was giving lifeblood to everything around me.
<br>
<br>
This feeling was elevated for the final time when I had a second realization: all of earth used to be this natural. At one point, every corner of this planet was purely natural - whether it was endless water, scorched earth, forest, patches of clovers, fields and prairies, or mountains. Every piece of nature was allowed to breathe without fear. I looked up at the houses and concrete roads again in anger and hurt. How dare we assume superiority over what was earthen long before humans came along? I wasn't sure if it was the Agricultural Revolution or industrialization or whatever that began the colonization of earth, but it pissed me off. I didn't have a bad trip or anything, but it hit me all at once. I grieved with nature at its destruction. We can have as many parks, conservatories, protected lands, and reserves as we want, but the damage had already been done. I sat at that river among the clovers and realized that we have destroyed all we had.
<br>
<br>
K suggested we walk home after that. I was still peaking, but I could feel myself start to fade a bit. The green looked just as green, the sun still as shiny, and I had to leave. While I walked along the concrete sidewalk, I felt how angry the houses made me. I almost threw my phone into the gutter simply because it was a piece of technology. K said not to do that, which was a pretty good idea. I was still enjoying Mirror Reaper playing. It was mid-afternoon at this point. When we got home, the rest of the trip was quite pleasant. I ended up doing some mirror trataka meditation and thought more about the soul of nature. After that, we listened to some more music and explored Northern Africa on Google Earth. We had many funny conversations and I kept noticing how bright K's eyes were and how they were moving all across his face, which was also moving. Eventually, it stopped moving so much and we smoked a bit more pot to finish riding the trip, and took a little nap.
<br>
<br>
All in all, one of the most profound trips of my psychonaut days. I tripped many times after that, but I do not any more due to prolonged anxiety and hallucinations after a heroic dose of shrooms. But I still remember every detail of what it felt like to be in that park clearing, living and breathing and crying as a part of nature and her cycle.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2020</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115193</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 17</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 27, 2021</td><td>Views: 543</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=115193&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=115193&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : Combinations (3), Music Discussion (22), Entities / Beings (37), General (1), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/citalopram/">Pharms - Citalopram</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(daily)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/propranolol/">Pharms - Propranolol</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 24:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Beer/Wine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">138 lb</td>
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</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I had my first acid trip a few days ago and wanted to document and share the experience. A bit of background: I’m a 20 year old male with depression and anxiety issues which have lessened over the past month due to medication and other positive life experiences. I was nervous that these issues would give me a bad trip, but I decided to go for it anyway as I felt like I was making good progress and was mostly happy with my current life situation. I’m a university student living with friends, one of which had the fairly spontaneous decision to try acid, as we had all been curious about it for a while. None of us had ever taken proper psychedelics before, the closest we had come was cannabis and MDMA.
<br>
<br>
We got the tabs from someone we knew and trusted who had tripped on that same batch before and reported positively. We were told that it would last about 13 hours from start to finish, which should give me enough time to have a few hours of sleep and get to a morning class the next day, before taking an afternoon train back to my parents’ house to stay for a week.
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<br>
We cleaned up my friend’s loft bedroom and decided to trip there. We had smoked weed there many times and found it a very relaxing, hippy-ish environment with a good music system, lava lamps, and nice patterned rugs and wall hangings. There were four of us present, although one friend decided at the last minute not to take any acid and smoke weed instead. This turned out to be the right decision for all of us. We all ate a meal and then dropped the tabs at 3:30pm.
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<br>
After almost an hour, I looked out of the window and noticed that the streetlights were a little brighter and sharper than normal, and everything looked a little prettier but not noticeably different, similar to an MDMA comeup. I started to feel quite happy and positive and was starting to think I would really enjoy this drug. I went to the toilet, and while I was in there I thought that I heard voices in the next room and felt a little paranoid, but nothing more intense than a weed high. I also found the dirtiness of the bathroom (it’s a house full of college students, so not the cleanest environment) more unpleasant than normal, but nothing I couldn’t deal with.
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<br>
I went back to the others and lay down. We listened to an Alt-J album which was enjoyable but not hugely different from normal. My body felt heavy and I found it hard to move. I closed my eyes and saw vivid visuals of all of my friends at college dancing in a club, and as I saw it I described it to them.
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<br>
I can’t quite remember the exact order of the next part of the trip. I felt incredibly spaced out and at one point had to ask my sober friend what drug we had taken because I had forgotten a lot of things. I also asked if what was happening was real. I was almost certain that it was, but I felt like I needed confirmation. I felt very spaced out, nauseous, and was starting to feel uncomfortable. I picked up a bowl and put my face in it as I thought I might throw up. I don’t know how long my face was in the bowl but it felt like I was in another world before I remembered I was in the house and I came back to reality. My grip on my sense of identity was slipping away, and when I had a moment of clarity, I asked my friend for a prescription anti-anxiety tablet as I had heard that these can stop the trip (I later found out that it wasn’t the right tablet, and only a benzo would have worked). The trip didn’t stop, but I moved into a more relaxed state and accepted the sense of confusion. I felt incredibly hot, sweaty and clammy, and kept asking my friends if I was sweating a lot, to which they replied that I wasn’t. My mouth was also very dry and had an unpleasant metallic taste for the entire trip. I lay down on a rug, which was cold, but I mistook it for being wet. I felt like I could hear rain, and then felt raindrops on my skin but was told that it wasn’t raining.
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<br>
My sober friend and one of my other friends left the room for a while to go out in the garden, but I felt too heavy to move so me and another tripping friend stayed. I felt paranoid while they were gone as I felt like my sober friend was our only connection to reality and without her being there I might lose sense of where and who I was. I called her on the phone and they came back shortly.
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<br>
I felt uncomfortable in my clothes so I changed into pajamas in my bedroom. This was a really difficult task and seemed to take ages and take a lot of mental concentration for me to stay on the task of getting changed. Afterwards I went back upstairs and lay down on the bed with my friends. At this point the anxiety and confusion faded and the trip started to get good. I think this was maybe 2 or 3 hours in.
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<br>
I noticed that the lights from the lamps was reflecting on the walls and ceiling, but instead of reflecting solidly, it was in moving geometric patterns, which was amazingly entertaining to look at. We put on MGMT’s Oracular Spectacular album, which sounded perfect for the occasion. There was a sense of catharsis and connection to everything and each other, and the senses of sound and visuals seemed interlinked rather than separate. It’s hard to remember the specifics of each song, but throughout the album I felt really happy to be with my friends, and that I was part of a life affirming-experience. I could imagine that moment as a scene from a teen coming-of-age film, and I reflected how it had been worth it to make it through the struggles of my life to reach this point.
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<br>
Another sober housemate came home at this point after a few days away, and the two sober friends drank wine and smoked a joint as the three acid-trippers lay on the bed and watched. The smoke looked beautiful and the air seemed slightly fuzzy and shimmering, but the lights were sharp. The whole scene felt dreamlike, and as Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick in the Wall” came on I felt like we were in a perfect moment and I had everything I needed in life: good friends and good music. I felt like we were all really cool people and we were really succeeding in life.
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<br>
For the next couple of hours we listened to music and watched the patterns on the ceilings. I loved listening to all of the others (including my tripping friends) talk to each other, but I found it hard to join in as I was struggling to form words. I felt like I was having lots of very important and profound thoughts but every time I tried to put them into words it was impossible and the thoughts slipped away. I realised how limiting words are, and how they are only our best approximation of how to explain concepts.
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<br>
Every time something changed in the room, such as a person leaving or entering, a light switching on or off, or a song changing, it felt like the entire room changed. By the end of the trip I felt like I had been in a million different rooms rather than one. Whenever I left the room to get a drink or use the toilet, I felt uncomfortable and wanted to get back with my friends as soon as I could.
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<br>
Towards the end of the trip, my sober friends had to go to bed as they had things to do in the morning. When they left I felt very sad that we were being separated, but I assumed there would only be a couple more hours of the trip and then I could go to sleep.
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<br>
When I started to feel very tired (but still tripping), I went to my own bed to sleep, but the entire room felt wrong in an indescribable way. The fact that the new day was starting soon was incredibly distressing to me, and I felt like the world was going to carry on without us and we would be left stranded in trip-land. I got frustrated that after over 12 hours the trip was showing no signs of stopping. I felt so physically and mentally uncomfortable after only a few minutes in my bedroom that I had to go back to my friend’s room and join them.
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<br>
I told them how awful I was feeling and how the trip was lasting too long, and they said they agreed, but we decided to ride it out and carry on listening to music. At this point I started to feel very detached from them and from the entire world. In hindsight, I imagine this was because I had spent an entire day in one room with the same people, but the acid was intensifying these feelings to the point where they were unbearable. I questioned whether or not the trip would ever end.
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<br>
At 7:30am the trip was still ongoing. My sober friend woke up at this point and came back upstairs. I told her the trip wasn’t over and she couldn’t believe this. She kept leaving the room to get ready to leave to catch her train, and returning intermittently to check on us. I felt like we needed her as a sober person to help steer us through the trip and worried we might go insane if we were left alone. I asked her if she could be present as much as possible and she said that she would try, but had a lot of chores to do elsewhere so couldn’t stay with us for too long. This terrified me, and I felt so frustrated that I couldn’t get across how vital it was for us all to stay together as a group.
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<br>
I felt the strong urge to leave the room as I had spent close to 17 hours in it and was starting to feel trapped. I did this and sat downstairs with one of my friends and we started to feel the trip fade away, but far too slowly for our liking. We felt very spaced out and tired, not tripping any more but far from sober and normal. Our sober friend brought us a carton of orange juice which we drank, and I ate a small breakfast, both of which helped me feel more comfortable. She left to catch her train at 11am, and my other friend had started to feel more sober than us other two trippers. He caught his train at 1pm. I had a shower, which helped, and got dressed. I had now lost all visuals but still felt spaced out and a little lost in my head, and found it hard to do simple tasks. I had a morning class scheduled, which I didn’t go to for obvious reasons.
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<br>
My other friend was still higher than I was and at this point was freaking out and very upset. He said that he just wanted the trip to go away, and I reassured him that it would as the rest of us were already coming down. This was almost 24 hours after we had taken the tab, which amazed and distressed us as we had expected 12-13 hours approximately. He was very upset that everyone was going home and said that he wished that we had all stayed an extra day. I also felt the same and had been very distressed about this a few hours previously, but had accepted it by this point. I persuaded him to catch a train home as it would be better than staying in the house alone with no company. We walked to the station at 4pm and caught separate trains home. While I was on the train, I started to feel a little high and uncomfortable again. I wondered if people could tell that I wasn’t yet sober, and felt paranoid, but held it together. My friend called me from his train and said that he was having a panic attack, but I managed to calm him down and reassured him that his train journey was short and he would be at his girlfriend’s house soon. Once he arrived there he texted me to say that he was fine.
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<br>
On the train, I started to notice people’s faces and it looked to me like they were also tripping as their eyes were wide and they looked a little manic. This frustrated me as my perceptions were still definitely altered. I was being picked up from the train station by my father, and I felt paranoid that he would see me in my spaced-out, sleep-deprived, tail-end-of-an-acid-trip state. When I got in the car I lied and told him that I had a fever and felt dizzy because of this.
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<br>
That evening, the trip had faded to the point where I could function, but I still felt spaced out, and when I watched TV with my parents the colours looked a little brighter and the music seemed a little more interesting than normal. I drank a couple of beers (which tasted disgusting on acid) and then went to bed and slept for 12 hours. In the morning I was sober, but feeling an afterglow where music still sounded better and I felt very introspective.
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<br>
Looking back on the trip with hindsight, I’m not sure I was ready for the intense experience of LSD. I was certainly confronted with some very distressing emotions and thoughts, but also had moments of euphoria which I’m glad to have experienced. I still can’t believe just how long the trip lasted, or how mentally unforgiving it was. I realised during the trip just how bad some of my insecurities are, and how much I need to work on them. I realised how uncomfortable I am in my physical body and how limited I feel by it, but that the only thing I can do about this is treat it with care and live a more healthy lifestyle (I need to lay off smoking weed, heavy drinking and junk food for a while, and take MDMA less often). I also realised just how much I appreciate my friends, but how terrified I am of being abandoned by those who are close to me. I also felt uncomfortable with my belief that the world has no deeper meaning, and I wished that I believed in a god or afterlife, or even just a sense of spirituality to give life a sense of meaning. Before and after the trip, I was/am content with my atheism and mortality, but during the trip I felt saddened by these beliefs. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Before and after the trip, I was/am content with my atheism and mortality, but during the trip I felt saddened by these beliefs.</div></div>
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<br>
One of the main things that occupied my mind throughout the entire trip was the concept of positive and negative energy. I don’t believe in anything metaphysical (for example, I don’t believe in the soul, and I believe that every emotion can be explained as a balance of chemicals in the brain), but I felt very attuned to the moods of others around me. I felt sad and distressed when I detected or suspected sadness or discomfort in others, and I felt euphoric when I detected happiness and comfort. I wanted so badly for everyone around me to be happy all of the time, and I felt like their emotions were tangible things that effected the positivity/negativity of the “energy” in the room. However, as I struggled to form sentences and talk to people, and was only able to lie down and observe the people and world around me, I felt powerless to contribute or “give out” any energy myself. I could only receive positive or negative energy from others.
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<br>
The whole trip, we all agreed, was incredibly emotionally draining and intense. I felt like my brain had run a marathon, and I had experienced an entire lifetime, including the highest highs and lowest lows, over the course of a single day. As often as I regretted taking acid during the trip, with hindsight I wouldn’t take it back. Although my problems and insecurities were intensified by a hundred times, I now feel two days later like they have been put into perspective. I feel like my past doesn’t have to define or limit me any more, and I can now choose the direction of my life, even if it isn’t easy. I appreciate life more since I dropped acid, and I’m hopeful that this will be a turning point.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2016</td><td width="90">ExpID: 107911</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Mar 4, 2021</td><td>Views: 1,091</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=107911&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=107911&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Pharms - Citalopram (227), LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Difficult Experiences (5), Depression (15), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
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<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
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<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">130-160 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">15 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dmt/">DMT</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">125 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I recently had one of the most intense and unforgettable DMT experiences to date. And get this-only using 15mg. I was peaking on 130-160ug LSD, and decided to give some DMT a go. Only loaded 15mg into the pipe to test the waters before diving in. I had never smoked DMT under the influence of another psychedelic, so I decided to start low, which proved to be a great idea. I take the hit, getting most of what I had loaded in one pull. I go to take the next hit, and as I'm doing so, the flame on my lighter dies. 'Oh, damn' I think to myself. The first hit comes on with surprising potency, and next thing I know, my dimly lit room and I undergo a transformation into another dimension (yes, this is with only 15mg) and everything in my room looks like it came from lego-land. It all has a very aztec feel to it, and I am beginning to become uncomfortable with the unexpected intensity of the experience.
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<br>
Now, this is where shit gets REALLY weird. It's hard to describe, but I will give it my best. My dog, let’s call him R, had been laying on my floor asleep for a good 4 hours. I had tried waking him so he could get out of the way previously, but he is a heavy sleeper. After sleeping on my floor all night, remaining unconscious as I giggle to myself, watch TV and do whatever noisy nightly rituals humans partake in, he remained very deep in sleep. As soon as the DMT hits me, and I begin to freak out at the intensity of my experience, R is jolted wide awake. He gets up, and begins barking. “Oh shit, this is just what I need,” I think to myself. My family had just fallen asleep and the last thing I wanted was for them to wake up and discover me tripping. But after watching R bark at thin air for a few seconds, it became apparent to me that what he was barking at was not something of this world. I remembered then that R is a Chihuahua, valued by southern/central American aboriginal tribes for their extrasensory abilities. The Chihuahua was regarded as sacred by a number of ancient tribes, and considered to be very spiritually sensitive, and were often used in rituals and ceremonies to welcome/chase away spirits. I look closer at him, panic coursing through me, and I notice that his barks are directed in many different directions, as if he is barking at a whirlwind.
<br>
<br>
Tail tucked in between his legs, practically spinning in circles, trembling and barking maniacally, I am hit with the realization that I brought some sort of presence into my room through DMT. I call his name and he looks at me, and leaps up onto my bed. He is shaking like I have never seen a dog do, and his gaze shifts all over the room. I follow his eyes and I realize that he is seeing something I cannot see. His pupils are like pinballs, bouncing all over the place as he shivers in my lap. I pet him and tell him everything is ok. He begins to calm down, and looks me in the eye, and I swear that we communicated telepathically. The look in his eye seems to scorn me, saying something like “How dare you do that to me?” I look upon him in a sudden understanding of his value, and I reassure him that everything is ok, that a door in his mind has just been temporarily opened by a very powerful molecule. He says (or his eyes say, but I swear we were communicating through gaze) that he was scared shitless, and is angry at me for being so inconsiderate. I apologize and calm him down. The DMT wears off after 10 or so minutes, and as it does, his eyes slowly begin to shut again, and he falls back into a deep sleep.
<br>
<br>
I know that this probably sounds a bit like a chapter from a cheesy Stephen King horror novel, or something similar, but I shit you not, this actually happened to me and my dear friend R. I have had many extraordinary psychedelic experiences, but up until this point, they have only been able to be described as the visions I had, or the shit that I saw, or the things that I realized. This was the first time I was given an experience that proved to me, beyond a reasonable doubt, that psychedelic experience is far, far more than a mere chemical reaction; something much greater than a drug-induced vision, and definitely not just all in my imagination. Believe what you will about what I have just written, but I assure you, my fellow psychonauts, that this happened. Once again, it has been proven to me that “DMT does not open the doors of perception, it blows them off the hinges.”
<br>
<br>
From that day on, I no longer regard R as just my pet, just a chihuahua, just a dog. No, that night it was proven to me that R, and all other living beings, are much more than their species, they, like you and I, are conscious, sentient beings given an organic body through which to experience this unfathomably beautiful clusterfuck of sensory input known as life.
<br>
<br>
I apologize for the length of this report, but it was an extremely significant event in my life that still haunts me to this day. Whether it haunts me with beauty or terror I still have yet to determine, but it was an extremely eye-opening voyage nonetheless. Peace and love to all.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2013</td><td width="90">ExpID: 99807</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 17</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Mar 16, 2021</td><td>Views: 890</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=99807&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=99807&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), DMT (18) : General (1), Combinations (3), Entities / Beings (37), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
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<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">117 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
On Acid
<br>
<br>
On the Flirtations of a Cheeky Blue Light
<br>
A string of colorful Christmas lights were prominent in my narrowed field of vision, newly affected by the LSD <!-- chemicals--> working their way through my brain. As I stared at the string of lights, the insides became brighter and ballooned slowly in size, while the outside shape of the light remained the same. It was a game we played. When I looked away, they would shrink. Every time I looked back they would grow. Except for one. That cheeky blue light. He was a little more flirtatious than the rest. He gave me extra attention with his brilliance and intensity- his color shining just a bit brighter, his size growing just a bit more than the rest. Trying to impress me and catch my attention like a bird pluming his feathers to impress a potential mate. He was winking at me. And I liked it. Like a schoolgirl in the playground, I giggled.
<br>
<br>
On The Struggle To Melt to the Other Side
<br>
I felt, at once, the feeling of being in both the Real world and the Other world. As the chemicals were taking over I understood I was existing in both and was trying to transition my body fully over to the other side. My mind was conditioned and ready for just this moment- reminding myself to give in and let go… Let go. LET GO! Why isn’t it letting go? I was feeling heavy in my chair and the faux fur on the rocking chair in my vision was very much alive and flowing like a polar bear underwater. But I was still stuck. Stuck between two worlds, stuck melting in my chair. Go with it, don’t hold on. I didn’t think I was holding on; in fact, I was trying to force myself to the other side like someone demanding themselves to fall asleep. Futile. Sinking. Then a face appeared in my field of vision. One of my sober sitters Amanda. She said in a very calm and cheerful voice, “Hey! Do you maybe wanna go outside?” I thought how preposterous! After all this hard thinking and progress to get where I was (which was stuck in limbo), not to mention the fact that I was immobile, she wants me to ruin it by going outside? I sat up just a bit to tell her I physically was unable to do so. But then I noticed I could sit up. Hey, maybe even stand. I stood and we went outside and just like a snap of the fingers I had made it to the other realm of existence.
<br>
<br>
On A Faraway Touch
<br>
Just as the stairs turned into quicksand and my feet disappeared I had a similar experience with a chocolate lindt ball. One of our sober sitters knew our love of lindt balls and she carefully unwrapped a couple and gave one to Lee and one to me. Lee, ecstatic with joy, immediately popped it into his mouth. I had similar aspirations but as soon as ball hit hand a whole new sensation overtook my attention. The ball. In my hand. How amazingly foreign it felt. I rolled the smooth chocolate around and around in my hand feeling two conflicting sensations. I could see it in my hand, but it felt faraway. I felt the nearness in my palm but as it touched my index and middle finger it was as if it were touching my skin from a distant space. A faraway touch. I continued to play with this nearness and farness sensation, completely forgetting my intention to eat the chocolate ball itself.
<br>
<br>
On What A Kiss Feels Like
<br>
Because Lee loves me and I love him at one point he wanted to express this to me with a kiss. He kissed me on the lips. His face pressed into my face. Mouth skin on mouth skin. Isn’t it funny, this face mouth skin smooshing to face mouth skin is a way humans express love? Human, you’re funny. I giggled. And that’s what a kiss felt like.
<br>
<br>
On Falling Into Paintings
<br>
Our fabulous trip experience curator provided us with some fascinating works of art- postcards of MC Escher’s work, and two paintings. One was Claude Monet’s Sunset In Venice, and the other was Van Gogh’s The Starry Night. Brilliant. Lee had already found the fascination of staring at artwork and said to me wide eyed, “Heidi, you have to look at these!”. I started with the Escher postcards. What a trip. His piece called Snakes depicts a disc of interlocking circles that grow progressively smaller towards the center and towards the edge, with interlocking snakes around the outside. Sober me felt uneasy about it, because snakes, but Acid me loved to watch it breathe. The circles expanded and contracted and spiraled. I was also drawn to Stars which depicts two chameleons in a polyhedral cage floating through space. The cage became an optical illusion and kept changing its orientation in space. Different parts of the points would expand to the foreground then recede to the background constantly shifting shape.
<br>
<br>
But the paintings. I fell into the paintings. The Starry Night’s swoops and swirls twirled and the painting came alive under my eyes. The moon would grow brighter and brighter and the wind swirls drew me in and whirled around- dancing in my eyes. The painting grew. So much that it enveloped me and I was then in it- circling with the winds and growing with the glowing yellow moon. The Sunset In Venice was an experience of color and of the macro. I fell into this one as well and the color covered me whole. The color turned into fractals of polyominos that shifted at the same time in clocklike left turns. Clearly we needed some alone time to get intimate with these paintings away from sober starers so we went into a darkened bedroom and laid on the bed getting lost in our paintings. Then Lee had an excellent idea. There was a painting on the wall across from us. On the count of three, we put our paintings down, then LOOK. 1.. 2… 3! We gazed upon the painting. What one might consider an ordinary painting of a snow covered cabin beside snow covered redwoods was at once a new world of experience. The peaked roof of the cabin morphed upwards to an elongated point then shrank back down while at the same time the trees would melt in a circular motion to the right turning its tops over the cabin. As this morphic melting hypnotized me the painting itself grew and rotated on its axis. As it grew it too consumed me and once again I fell into the painting.
<br>
<br>
On Amanda in LoftLand
<br>
We took a trip to LoftLand. It started with an epic scale of steep wooden stairs. The stairs turned into quicksand which my feet quickly sunk into with each ascending step. The quicksand stairs engulfed my feet until by the top of the steps they no longer existed, leaving me to guess where my disappeared feet might find the last few steps. It was so much fun I wanted to do it again and again but got distracted by a most amazing optical illusion. As I ducked my head from the low peaked roof Lee instructed me to sit beside him and look. Just look! Look how large this room is! The small loft had extended itself. Lee instructed our friend Amanda to sit in the corner and see just how far away she looked. And sure enough, there, in a faraway corner of a faraway LoftLand sat a tiny version of Amanda. The 6ft between us tripled. Look at little Amanda! Waving at us from the faraway corner of LoftLand! We laughed hard. Kelsey, sitting atop the small landing at the top of stairs just 6 ft to our right enlarged and magnified in our field of vision appeared to be sitting almost beside us. 6ft can be as short as 1 yard or as long as 20 ft in LoftLand!
<br>
<br>
On the Ecstasy of Sour Skittles
<br>
You don’t know, do you, that you need sour skittles to light your life and set your soul ablaze like an inferno of orange and yellow hued fireworks exploding your mind. On a journey to find a quiet meditation space I happened upon a bowl of sour skittles. Curious, I popped one of these secret magical ecstasy bombs into my mouth when (*explosion noises*) my life turned inside out in a bubbling engulfment of ecstatic joy that came piercing up and to the left in shards of orange and yellow rays. It was as if someone set a blaze of fireworks to my insides and a boiling kettle of flourishing sensations combusted my brain. I became addicted to the feeling and apparently relived this explosive vomiting undulation of bliss over and over. And over. Now you know the ecstasy that is sour skittles.
<br>
<br>
On the Incursion of the Cello
<br>
I held it between my legs, my body wrapped around its body. I enveloped the cello in my arms and we went cheek to cheek. As the bow touched the strings I took a deep breath. Slowly I drew back, drawing with my motion a deep bellowing vibration that instantly overcame my whole being. As if I were invaded, suddenly, by sensation so wonderful, so overwhelmingly electrifying, it filled me up whole and exploded my brain with rainbow mosaics bursting from left to right in a light arc. We became one and as the cello exploded inside me and sang its deep tune into my being my meditation deepened until we came to a silent stillness. I looked at my friend wide-eyed and asked, “Is this what it’s like to play a cello?!” She responded, “Well, no. You’re on Acid”. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I looked at my friend wide-eyed and asked, “Is this what it’s like to play a cello?!” She responded, “Well, no. You’re on Acid”.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
On Feeling Color
<br>
Synesthesia riddled my acid experience. Colors popped up in various facets. Not in my field of vision, but in my mind’s eye. I was particularly drawn to light pink and dark purple. These two colors in vertical bars side by side seemed to describe my trip experience and the journey as a whole. The next time color invaded my mind was during the sour skittle experience. Specifically orange and yellow slivers shot up and out to the left. When I listened to classical music for the very first time it broke apart and separated vertically in fragments of black and brown- as if each fragment were a different musical instrument. When I laid down and closed my eyes during this classical music experience slow waves of blue and green flowed over me from right to left- or top to bottom. These colors were not physical or visual hallucinations; they were eruptions in my mind. They were colors that were felt, rather than seen.
<br>
<br>
On Looking In The Mirror
<br>
I was afraid, most of the trip, to look into the mirror. I had heard two very conflicting words of wisdom about mirrors while tripping:
<br>
1. NEVER look in the mirror!
<br>
2. ALWAYS look in the mirror!
<br>
This was polarizing and I was afraid of what I might see. I thought I’d see myself as an old lady with a melting face that would turn ashen and decrepit. Or perhaps I’d turn into a scary face with melting eyes and a joker-like smile. I hoped that perhaps I’d see myself as a majestic or fierce animal. I gained enough courage and mental fortitude after a while and decided to see what scary monster death images I would face in myself. So I did it. I looked. I had my hood up and I smiled, and I saw a kind smile back. Wrinkly, but kind. My body started to sway a little bit and that’s when I noticed that the She who was staring back at me was not Me. It was a different She. She looked like me, and also like my sister, but it wasn’t either of us. She was on the Other side but our two worlds were not separate. I thought, perhaps, that we could blend our not separate worlds together. As I started to think about getting lost with the She in the mirror I started to grow cute panda ears. I smiled, then left the mirror for another journey.
<br>
<br>
On the Universal Vibration
<br>
“If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency, and vibration” -Nikola Tesla.
<br>
“All things in our universe are constantly in motion, vibrating. Even objects that appear to be stationary are in fact vibrating, oscillating, resonating, at various frequencies. Resonance is a type of motion, characterized by oscillation between two states. And ultimately all matter is just vibrations of various underlying fields.”
<br>
-Tam Hunt
<br>
<br>
I found myself outside in a grassy grove of trees spinning globes of light. The sun was going down and above me classical music was spilling out from the deck. I could feel the vibration of the music. It flowed through me and its energy resonated with my moving dancing body and the swinging spinning motion of the globes. I could feel we were all connected, and just as I felt that unity the forest floor and the trees too joined in on the vibration dance party, and all at once, body, music, and universe were in harmony in “a steady, insistent beat: the sound of cycles in sync…” and together, we danced.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2021</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115263</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 35</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 6, 2021</td><td>Views: 665</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=115263&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=115263&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Music Discussion (22), Guides / Sitters (39), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">Repeated hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(flowers)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">Several hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">165 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It all started around 5:45 P.M. I drove to this house, intending to just get really stoned. My friend, call him A., said I should come over and chill out for the night. A teacher had taken two exchange students, S. and R., and we went to their house. She had a place for them to stay and never went in there. I did not know S. and R. very well, but they seemed cool. When I arrived, S. was there by himself, and we rolled a fat blunt an smoked it. Then A. got there and we smoked some more. I was feeling great.
<br>
<br>
At about 6:15, I don't really know but all of this seems right, A. took out a vile of acid. He had already taken a few hits and offered me some for free. I was broke but he said it was all good, so he poured some on the lid of an altoids can. I ate it and everything was going good and we left to go rent The Wizard of Oz. We returned and started to watch it and everything went fucking intense. I told A. and S. that I could not listen to Floyd and watch that movie, that I was losing my shit and we turned it off.
<br>
<br>
My arms were numb, and huge surges of energy were pulsing through them. I had a cup from Whataburger, and it broke because I was shaking it saying over and over, 'this shit is intense!!' By 8:00 or so I snapped out of a daze and R. was there and he had some weird trance music playing. I just sat there with mind blowing thoughts racing through my head, and constant waves of numbness where I couldn't hear or speak or do anything. I started freaking out and saying let me go to my car. They would not let me but I was sure that if I got to my car, I would chill out. I didn't want to drive, I was just freaked out by people and the music.
<br>
<br>
I paced back and forth, and finally asked S. if I could lay on his bed. He said sure and from that point on it seems like a dream. The end... not really. That is the boring part. It seems so much like a dream, but I remember every detail like it was yesterday. I jumped out of S.'s bed, and started screaming. 'JESUS CHRIST!!, JESUS CHRIST!!' I thought I was going to die. This is about 9:00 pm. They tried to calm me down, but I would not trust them. I thought they were Satan trying to take me to hell. All of their attempts to make me sane again had failed. There was no way I was going to hell, so I had to repent before I died. I would look up at them as if to stop, and they would tell me it was alright.
<br>
<br>
Thoughts crossed through my head that it would be better to go with the devils, but I thought that they were tricking me. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Thoughts crossed through my head that it would be better to go with the devils, but I thought that they were tricking me.</div></div> I screamed and yelled and the teacher called the paramedics. I jumped off the floor and ran out the door and hit R. as I tried to beak through their grasp. R. got his baseball bat and hit me with it and then it was a struggle with the cops. A. said that it took 3 cops to put me on the stretcher into restraints.
<br>
<br>
And then I went to the emergency room. I remember when I first got into the hospital, I completely calmed down. I thought it was all over and I was fixing to go to heaven. The air was cool, there were men in white clothes walking around me, but then I saw the police and tried to get up and realized I was in restraints. I freaked the fuck out. I began to thrash and cus and yell. Then they put me under.
<br>
<br>
All I remember about that was a dream, where I went through the 9 stages of life. I don't know how many there are but I know that in my mind there was nine. I then went through birth, and death over and over and over. And every time I was at birth, I just remember a dark tunnel that I had to push through. After thinking the tunnel was me struggling in restraints for hours and trying to break them.
<br>
<br>
When I woke up at 6:30A, Sunday, I had stopped thrashing for quite sometime. But I couldn't move without being in a lot of pain and every breath I took felt like I was just recovering from getting the wind knocked out of me. My lab report showed positive for marijuana, and everything else was clean so the doctors were stunned. They thought I had a seizure but I told my parents what I did when I got home. They didn't flip out that much and I drove to school the next day and partied that weekend. <!-- so I am going to trip again soon, just at my house, so I wont freak out over foreign exchange students and shit. -->Peace out JOHNB<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2001</td><td width="90">ExpID: 13049</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Mar 23, 2021</td><td>Views: 1,186</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=13049&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=13049&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Cannabis (1), LSD (2) : Various (28), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Bad Trips (6), Combinations (3), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">147 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
To give some context and background information: this is not my first trip on a psychedelic. Mushrooms was my first, then it was DMT and then acid (LSD or some research chemical, I'm not entirely sure). Since my second mushroom trip, I’ve thought of psychedelics as something that can aid spiritual development, indirectly if not directly. It was actually psychedelics that made me decide to take my life in the direction of spiritual development, which to me means ordaining as a Buddhist monk. Though the Buddha taught that intoxicating substances should be avoided, and I agree with his advice, it’s hard to deny that dabbling in them could inspire insight or investigation into things such as the four noble truths, and the nature of our being. I’ve also smoked weed, a lot, and at the time of this trip I’ve found it to be detrimental to my practice, so I’ve begun to abandon it. It makes me think too much, particularly in a negative way. It obviously clouds my awareness, I zone out a lot on it.
<br>
<br>
Speaking of my decision to become a monk: practicing Buddhism, to me, is not just about believing in peace and love. There’s an active effort to be attentive to one’s experience, and it’s necessary to not let oneself get caught up in emotions and thoughts — after all, the purpose of the path is to liberate oneself from suffering, as is said in the Simsapa Sutta (SN 56.31), and being dragged around by the mind is a way of suffering. Suffering comes when emotions and thoughts are both indulged in and resisted, so a balance is needed. My rule of thumb is to be open to experience, but not careless with it, and to have responsibility for my actions. At the same time, my practice is not perfect; at times I do resist things such as entertainment and drug use, and at times I welcome it and embrace it. I think this experience was part of my effort to find a balanced way to approach psychedelics and entertainment, in between indulgence and aversion.
<br>
<br>
My brother, being a huge Grateful Dead fan, invited me to one of Dead &amp; Company’s recent concerts with his girlfriend. He brought along some LSD. I’ve never listened to the Grateful Dead much, and I figured this would be an interesting way to spend time with my brother before I leave home for the monastery: going to my first concert as they did back in the day when the Grateful Dead were touring all over the place. I think my relationship with my brother has always been sort of rocky, but we get along. His impatience and arrogance can cause conflict but he has good intentions. Aside from friction here and there, our relationship is well. It was his generosity that lead him to invite me to this concert. His girlfriend is similar to him in some ways, different in others. She’s more calm and relaxed, but can be overwhelmed at times, by anger or sadness.
<br>
<br>
In addition to all of this, for a while I’ve had a suspicion that I’ve got Asperger’s. It’s never been diagnosed, but I’ve had some symptoms such as poor social skills, difficulty articulating speech, and “specific interests”, or interest in things that people find unusual. Looking at myself in videos, I hold myself (in terms of posture) awkwardly. But it’s just speculation. Saying this may offer a perspective on my behavior and mindset, in one way or another.
<br>
<br>
Now, the story. First thing is the concert. We had taken the tabs of LSD (one for each of us — the amount on each tab is unclear) 30 minutes to an hour before the concert began. I had the tab on my tongue for three minutes before I swallowed it, unintentionally (I always found it difficult to hold it there). My brother assured me it would still work. All was well. I was a tad apprehensive (as usual before a trip), but it was manageable. I had my camera with me and was taking pictures here and there, but it was hard for me to find a good one.
<br>
<br>
About fifteen minutes before the concert, I began to feel a sort of heaviness in my step. My jaw was getting a little tense and I was yawning often — whether on acid or mushrooms, these were the signs that I was beginning to trip. Soon enough, everyone’s skin was shifting between their normal skin tone and red, the color of blood. For a Buddhist, this is a good opportunity to consider asubha (foulness or unattractiveness); when I start getting this visual effect, I begin to perceive the body as a sort of bag, a bag of flesh and blood. It can be entertaining, frightening, or calming. If I could photograph it, I would have.
<br>
<br>
After making a trip to the bathroom (a missed opportunity for me to reflect on asubha), we went to the venue, which was a steep hill. We set down a small woven mat, and waited for the concert to begin with everyone else. My brother’s girlfriend tried to sneak a chillum into the concert via her bra, but had lost it. She was pretty frustrated. “We’ll survive,” I said, trying to lighten the mood. “Yeah, you will,” she told me. And so it became apparent that perhaps she uses marijuana to sooth her anxieties.
<br>
<br>
The concert began. The trip was coming up, and I didn’t really know what to do — I felt like I was supposed to be doing something, like dancing. But insecurity has been an issue of mine for a long time, and still is here and there. But I remembered my motivation to be open and willing to express myself — being afraid to do so is suffering, and so is detrimental to one’s own well-being. I noticed that my insecurity came with a sense that somebody was watching me, critically, behind my back — and with that idea I was hunched over, as if cowering away from whoever it was that was judging me. It’s worth noting that, for much of my life, my brother did this sort of thing to me. He could be a bully at times. And he was sitting or standing behind me for much of this concert. But I questioned this worry and insecurity, and dropped it. I relaxed the tension in my back, and I let my body do its thing. Instead of experiencing the concert the “right way”, I was lead to just experience it however I pleased. I tried to take a picture of the venue, but it was getting dark and the angle wasn’t interesting: the result was just a blurry picture of the stage.
<br>
<br>
And so it rolled on. I became fascinated with this idea that “this is where it’s happening”. It. The party. The thing people do when they’re not working. Self-expression and celebration. And not just concerts, it was this concert. If you weren’t at this concert, you were at home or at work. This idea was quite big for me during this experience and continued to evolve.
<br>
<br>
The intermission came by about an hour into the show (or maybe not, as my sense of time was becoming distorted). It took me by surprise, because everything was grooving but now it just paused. First came the cheer, and now everyone was doing nothing but talking. I felt a sense of panic in myself and in the people around me: what do we do? What’s going on? But the LSD reminded me: just go with it! It’s part of the show. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I felt a sense of panic in myself and in the people around me: what do we do? What’s going on? But the LSD reminded me: just go with it! It’s part of the show.</div></div> Everyone’s actually doing fine. And as soon as I accepted, it was as if everyone else did the same. The chaotic halt became a rest, a time to socialize with other concert goers. I turned around to face my brother and his girlfriend, who were both having a good time, as was I. I was trying to tell my brother that this was great, but talking is very difficult for me to do on a psychedelic. My mouth is tense, making it hard to articulate, and I hear my voice as if it were in my ears, like when you yawn. And I kept yawning! But I did what I could to communicate to him that this was a great time. I was celebrating. I was also witnessing the cliches of concerts, and my brother was acknowledging them as well, uttering phrases I’ve heard before but never in the context of a concert, where it became apparent that “this must be where that phrase comes from!”
<br>
<br>
At this time, the trip wasn’t maxing out, but it was pretty intense. I felt as if I was “riding the waves” of the concert. Not only did the hill give the impression that the audience was a giant wave, but it seemed as if the audience’s behavior was rippling, and in a sense it was. Beach balls from one corner of the venue would bounce their way to where I was, as if the beach ball was in turbulent water. And each time It would come to me, I’d hit it elsewhere, and it would go to the next part of the sea which was the crowd. I was a like a wave, the beachball an object on its surface, and everything happening within the crowd was either like a fish underwater or a part of the water, in the sense of a bubble on the surface. My brother said something about “shoelacing”. I noticed he and his girlfriend were sitting side-by-side, with their legs extended in a “V” shape, and so I did the same, putting my left ankle on his right, thinking, “shoelacing!”
<br>
<br>
He looked at me like he didn’t know what I was doing, and then he untied my shoe — remember, this is part of the wave. My shoelace was like a bubble in the water. I heard people laughing behind me, in a fun sort of way. No need to resist out of a sense that they were laughing at me, it’s just part of the wave, why not join? I did what felt like the right thing to do, which was to tie my shoe. I noticed it was full of grass stains. My hands were shifting between red and pink. The crowd sounded like a very low quality mp3 file of people talking, pure wobbly gibberish.
<br>
<br>
I learned a very useful way of shoe-tying on youtube. I just wrap the shoelaces around my finger in a certain way, cross them, pull, and I’ve got the bunny ears in one single fluid motion. As I was going through this motion, which is naturally focused on the laces, my vision began to zoom in on the task at hand, quite intensely. As my vision intensified, my hearing did as well. Everyone’s voices became louder, especially the ones behind me, who were being blown away by this shoe-tying technique. My mind filtered out the nonsensical noise of the crowd and focused on the gradually clarifying and intensifying sounds of my immediate surroundings. As soon as I had finished, my vision and hearing was back as it was before, broad and aware of the waves — I had just dived into the water and was back riding on the surface.
<br>
<br>
The concert started up again. It was probably around 8PM. We were all excited. My brother’s girlfriend had found the chillum, it was mysteriously hidden in her bra where she had put it in the first place. For the next few hours, the band jammed. During the jam, I noticed the way I was dancing with the music felt like I was stomping on berries — making jam. All of my kinetic energy, or chi, was going down into my elbows, and down into my heels. I was making jam with my elbows and heels. I was jamming! Surely this is where the term comes from? I don’t know, but the music is what lead me to dance in this way, and feel this way. Unfortunately I don’t know what the song was, but man, what a jam.
<br>
<br>
During the concert I had noticed that there was a photographer next to me. He looked pretty nervous, which was understandable: he had a huge telephoto lens on his DSLR camera. But it was getting me nervous. “Didn’t the signs in the lot tell us that no professional photographers were allowed? Is this guy going to publish these pictures on Facebook? Is he going to get me in trouble on purpose?” I’ll say it again: this concert was where it was all happening. Everything. Everyone was here. Everyone was enjoying it, everybody was on drugs — except the people who were at work. My boss. “What if she saw me on Facebook, tripping as hard as I was? Surely, this guy must be trying to cause trouble. I won’t be able to ordain as a monk because I’ll be caught in a scandal with everyone else at the concert. I’ll be screwed.” Bhavatanha, the craving for becoming, was invading my mind and inspiring fear and anxiety.
<br>
<br>
But then it occurred to me: just ride the wave. Let this guy take pictures. He probably just works for the venue, and it seems like my nervousness is actually rubbing off onto him. Not only has he been pointing his camera at the stage the whole time, his lens looks too long to get me in trouble; if he pointed it at me, he probably would have gotten my nostrils, not my groove. And so, I jammed with this guy, and he didn’t even know it. Let him be! Let him do his jam!
<br>
<br>
I looked behind me, to my left, to see my brother’s girlfriend sitting. Sitting! When she could be dancing! Is something wrong? I immediately realized that my expectations that she should be dancing were taking over. I turned it to compassion and kindness. “All good?” I asked, to be sure. My brother assured me she was fine. All good! Let her sit if she wants! Let’s get back to the groove.
<br>
<br>
I noticed there were some big guys a few feet in front of me. Probably security guards. I think I remember them approaching a group of people and asking if “everything was all good here”. They were the authorities, but what amazed me was their ability to harmonize with the situation. Everyone’s on drugs, but that’s a given here. Might as well go with it. Ride the wave!
<br>
<br>
The trip was really intensifying. I remembered how my brother once said that the Grateful Dead played in accordance with the quality of the audience. I could really feel it. It was so good. The band was sending waves in all directions, and I was riding them as if I was a boat in an beautifully intense musical storm. The way I was standing (in a horse stance) naturally lead me to adopt the attitude of somebody commanding the waves like I would if I were commanding horses from a chariot. My hands were grasping the waves like whips, and I was sending ripples across the audience towards the music stage. When a wave came from the left, I grabbed it and threw it to the right. When it came from the right, I sent it to the left. But here and there, I’d throw it at the stage. This was a few hours into the concert, maybe 10PM.
<br>
<br>
I began to think, “THIS is what Dean Moriarty was talking about! This crazy jam, this self expression!” The guitarist was going nuts. I was playing the air-guitar right handed, and when the wave went left-to-right, I immediately switched to a left-handed playing style. Then the guitarist began to tell me something in the language of sound. What it was, I’m not sure, but I was listening hard, bringing one hand to my ear as if paying close attention, while keeping with the beat, dancing. Again, which hand I was using depended on the direction of the waves, of the music, of the energy of the crowd.
<br>
<br>
As I jammed with the band, I began to think about what I was doing with my life, but in what felt like a great way to do so; in the same way I was expressing myself via my body, I was expressing myself via thought. “Luang por” — my teacher at the monastery — “certainly wouldn’t encourage everything I’m doing here, but without a doubt he would acknowledge that the harmony and collective celebration here at this concert is something beautiful. Buddhism doesn’t reject these things, it simply transcends them.”
<br>
<br>
Contemplation of birth, aging, sickness, and death is also part of Buddhist practice. But here, as the concert was approaching the final hour, I could not think of birth and death in the usual way. Though during these moments I was totally embracing these thoughts, now I look back at them with a sort of weariness. The thoughts were as follows:
<br>
<br>
“This concert is a moment of history. I’m a part of history. And by history, I mean that this is THE event that’s happening right now. It’s HUGE.” I had lost any sense that anything was happening beyond this concert. I was practically born here. I had no parents, no brother. I was born from nothing, as was everyone else, and it was this concert we were born into — nothing happened before this. Those who were older than me weren’t old at all, as if we were all the same age here. I began to wonder what would happen after this concert. “Everybody’s going to be talking about it! When I go to the monastery, Luang Por’s going to ask me: ‘hey, you were at that concert too, weren’t you?’ And we’ll both reflect on how great it was!”
<br>
<br>
I noticed I was getting hot, and taking more frequent sips from the water jug that my brother had taken into the concert. I wasn’t feeling good. I was probably exhausted from all of that dancing. Thought I was overheating. Thankfully, the concert was now ending.
<br>
<br>
It seemed so abrupt. Everyone was jamming out, but now it was like they all woke up from a brilliant dream and had become totally different people. It was pure chaos. Everyone was rushing to get out. What was the hurry? I was so confused. What about the collective celebration? Where’d it all go? I began to realize: it was illusory. It was the acid that made me think like that. And so, my brother and his girlfriend — whoever they were, I had no relationship to them because we were all just born today — and I made our way to the parking lot.
<br>
<br>
I was so sweaty. It felt like my backpack was covered in sweat — or worse, piss. Did everyone piss on my bag during that huge party? There was so much garbage all over the ground. My brother assured me that there was nothing on the bag, but I was skeptical, so I didn’t put it on. I walked followed my brother and his girlfriend around, holding my bag to my chest. I was struggling to grasp the situation. Where were we going? Who are these people I’m following? Did I drop anything that I need? What do I need? Nevertheless, I had faith in the idea that I should be following these people who I might’ve met before. I remembered, visually, my wallet and phone. “I have no idea what these things are, or what their purpose is, but I hope I have them. I’ll be screwed if I don’t”. I found them in my pockets, along with my camera. Hoping they wouldn’t fall out, I wondered: “is there anything else I’m missing?” And I kept trying to find whatever it was, even though there was actually nothing else I had taken with me.
<br>
<br>
We were all heading in a direction that was a total mystery to me. I had just come out of a womb (the concert), the first stage of life. Now was the second stage, and I was stumbling everywhere. We made our way to the bathrooms and vendor booths, which looked trashed. “Wait here and don’t go anywhere,” said my brother, who still might as well have been a total stranger. I don’t know where he went. I waited in the light of an extremely bright lamp, as hundreds of people rushed past me, wasted out of their minds. I briefly came face-to-face with an older woman who had her makeup running down her face, looking like a monster in distress. I nervously said “hello” and walked past her to get out of the light, fearing I would become a target of the police; it began to dawn on me that we were all running away from the police, to safety.
<br>
<br>
I had forgotten why I was standing where I was, and began to walk around the area when my brother found me. We kept moving. A girl who was a few feet away said “trap” in the strangest way. “Traaaaaap”. My brother and I joked about it afterwards. Somebody in the stampede compared the whole situation to a meat-grinder. We were all like cattle, blindly heading towards these big giant bright lights, crammed together in a hot and confused mess. Suddenly something caused us to change direction, and we were now heading in the right direction, towards the lot.
<br>
<br>
I was still questioning my existence. I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing, I couldn’t comprehend anything. Everything about harmony and jamming had gone out the window. All I had was this sense that I was mortal, and I needed to stay alive, and a contradicting thought process that I was just born yet was never born and was always here. We got to the car and left, all of us were tripping. Car sirens were going off, people were huffing nitrous oxide from balloons, some were throwing up from being so drunk or high. I saw lots of police too.
<br>
<br>
We escaped the madness, my brother behind the wheel, his girlfriend in the passenger seat, me in the back, still wondering if I had all of my necessities for this new life I had just been born into, and at the same time, for the life I’ve been a part of for 20 years. I was tired, but afraid to close my eyes and fall asleep. My brother was confused about the brights on his car: “are they on or off?” We were on the highway, and here he was distracted by the interior of his car! I was terrified. I managed to say that “we need to pull over… for our safety”. We briefly had gone off the road, before my brother refocused on the task at hand and drove on. “We are NOT pulling over”. I remembered the police who were all over the place, and saw them pulling people over. I realized: if we pull over, I could get in serious trouble.
<br>
<br>
<span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. <a href="/chemicals/show_image.php?i=dmt/dmt_contraindications1.gif">Don't do it!</a>]</span>
<br>
<br>
Though it took more than an hour to get there, the drive back seemed like it took only 15 minutes. We were in one part of the state, then 30 miles away, instantaneously. During the drive, as I avoided sleep, I tried to get my bearings on reality. Again, the question: what should I be doing right now? My sense of responsibility was coming back to me. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Again, the question: what should I be doing right now? My sense of responsibility was coming back to me.</div></div> “Well, I’m alive. I have a responsibility to stay alive. We all do. My brother’s tripping and driving, but he seems to be doing fine, so I’ll trust him. I won’t interfere with him. If I die, I die, and that will be the consequences of my own actions, as well as his.” I was glad to be able to reflect on karma and death. It helped settle me. It also made it hard to deny: acid can be very dangerous. In his teachings on the precepts, the Buddha advises us to abandon “intoxicants which lead to heedlessness”. I began to remember that this acid, as awesome as it was, is one of those intoxicants. My understanding of life was totally distorted and I had no idea how to do anything. I couldn’t comprehend things. How can I be heedful like that? And so I was faced with another realization, or reminder: I have a responsibility to be heedful. I must be alert. The Dhammapada says: “Heedfulness is the path to the Deathless. Heedlessness is the path to death. The heedful die not. The heedless are as if dead already.”
<br>
<br>
When we got back to my brother’s apartment, still tripping, we watched that 70’s show, and I was grateful to be alive. I was still having trouble comprehending things the next day, but I was glad that I had not forgotten the importance of being mindful and attentive to the experience at hand, with a sense of responsibility. My memories were coming back; I was no longer simply a sentient being who was born at the concert. I had remembered that my brother and I came from the same place. Things were coming back to me. I was sane again!
<br>
<br>
Reflecting on the trip: I don’t know if I’ll ever trip again… I’m going to the monastery soon. But I know that I have no need for doing that sort of thing anymore. Earlier I said that this trip was about me trying to find balance in drug use. Thinking about it now, I think that the balance is found by realizing the “allures and drawbacks and escape” (described in the Mahadukkhakkhandha sutta) of drugs. Simply put, drugs have their pleasures and pains, as does everything else — why trap oneself in them? To attach to them is to be chained to samsara. One escapes from the drawbacks of all things not by pushing them away, but by letting go of them. Even life itself has its drawbacks — if escape was about pushing away, we could just kill ourselves. But that’s not the way. That’s the way I understand it. I’m looking forward to ordaining.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2016</td><td width="90">ExpID: 108949</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 6, 2021</td><td>Views: 582</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=108949&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=108949&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Music Discussion (22), General (1), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)</td></tr>
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">90 kg</td>
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Background:
<br>
<br>
7 or so years of experimenting with various substances, such as mescaline, psilocybin, LSD. marihuana for the most part, combining with training in other altered states of consciousness such as dream, waking etc. Slowly, I had returned to the conclusion that I cannot do everything alone, and that some things are only attainable through the Grace of the Lord (After all 'The Father and I are one'). I have also noticed that from a certain perspective, duality disappears, and polar opposites begin to fulfill each other. An example of this would be a monk sitting in Zazen, who from our perspective would be sitting still. However if we were to look at him from the viewpoint of the sun, he would be moving indeed (because our planet is hauling ass through space). Truth has stopped being an absolute for me, it is a process in which I discover more and more, and these new truths contain all of our past previous experiences and more. Quabbalistic diagrams reveal this very openly.
<br>
<br>
Preparation:
<br>
<br>
It appears that a clean, and healthy body not only needs smaller dosages, but is also able to percieve more clearly the effects of various substances. The day before I tried to carry out a small fast (about 24h) - but I didn't make it all the way to the end because I ran into some trouble with chocolates. Nevertheless, it was a good little cleanse. I think that sometimes LSD can give just a little boost, so that I can see over the edge of a big wall that is called 'Matter', a little leg-up if you will. Over the past couple of weeks I had been sleeping not so well, going through some emotional hold-up and general lack of sleep due to issues related to the past. Additionally I have been trying to stretch more daily, using Hatha Yoga, Falun Gong, and in general just moving myself more which I noticed also feels really good.
<br>
<br>
My interest in Naturopathy recently lead me to the field of Urynocology, which caught my interest. This morning in order to try the effects of this substance I drank a little bit of my own urine (apparently the middle part of morning urine is the healthiest due to various iterference patterns etc), which had a golden yellow colour, and after the liquid settled for a while, in the middle of the fluid I could see a little 'string' of red. It reminded me of Bohm's implicate order. Nevertheless I downed some, it wasn't so bad - and the taste reminded me of how much crap I had inside my body. The day proceeded slowly, I did some work around the house, ate only about two sandwitches and an apple throughout the day, in the evening I smoked some weed with a friend and slowly headed home. <!-- On a side note the occult properties of various kinds of urine would explain why some bad people are involved in the abuse of young children.--> Throughout the day I drank lots of liquids, and had prepared some for my experience, making some tea with herbs and water. The evening had finally arrived, and Zero Hour came around.
<br>
<br>
Opening the Doors of Perception:
<br>
<br>
22:23 (T 0:00) - I place one square blotter containing a fragment of Alex Grey's wonderul artowork on my tongue.
<br>
<br>
23:10 (T 0:41) - Lying down, I begin to feel some distance towards things. Not the kind of indifference distance, but the fact that some things that I considered large (for example a three month relationship) began to seem really small as I once again grasped the infinity of time before and after my life. I head into the kitchen for some more water, and I turn on the light. Everything seems brighter than usual, more intense. A feeling of peace slowly dawns over me like the settling of a low, thick morning fog. The perception of sound is also amplified. I start to feel again some pain around my liver, which has been appearing now and again for some time. However I know that pain is sometimes required to transmute energy and burn up karma.
<br>
<br>
23:23 +/- (T 1:00) - As the effects start to slowly appear, I do some stretching to open up the energy channels. My body moves easily. My body becomes more relaxed and elastic. During the warm-up Falun Gong exercise I begin to feel some heat, and while in the last position which is focused around the Dan Tien (area around the navel) I begin to feel some heat, and I feel as if the pain that I had felt before in that area slowly begins to melt away.
<br>
<br>
23:27 (T 1:04) - I head towards the kitchen, the headlights from the cars on the street pulsate, changing their intensity, however I'm not sure if it is them or me causing this pulsation.
<br>
<br>
23:51 (T 1:28) - Once again I lay down on the bed in the darkness. I close my eyes and begin to see the world as a growing thing, I see various kinds of plants that also share this characteristic of growth. Little growing cabbages bloom in front of my eyes. The world seems to also be growing, resulting in new buildings being made. I notice that the organic and cultural development seem to be part of the same I also begin to see little doughnut shaped energetic rings that appear to be the basis out of which all things are made, perhaps they symbolize the power of creation which is inherant in every part of the universe. Slowly I realize how bad of a person I can be sometimes, which allows me to become more humble not only towards myself, but towards others as well.
<br>
<br>
0:06 (T 1:43) - I realize that the only way to move forward is to assimilate the past, become one with it and use it for future growth. There is no point in getting caught up in what we percieve as that which could have or should have been. The next couple of hours I spent analzying various events from my past which allowed me to gain a higher perspective on things in which all of the elements that I did not take under consideration earlier came together all at once like pieces of a pizza, forming a complete circle. I noticed that the thing which I had before seen as a good event, really wasn't so good at all, and now that it is over I shouldn't worry too much about the loss, but accept it as a necessary part of my life path which no longer needed those circumstances and individuals for it's growth. At a certain time in the night I also saw various nasty visualizations such as intestines, blood, and other sexually oriented things, however I knew that these were elements that were emerging from my own psyche and I shouldn't be too troubled by them, for they will soon pass.
<br>
<br>
5:00 (T 6:37) - I go to the bathroom to once again relieve myself, but this time I collect the urine to drink. It has a much different colour than before, it seems more clearer and has a slight shade of yellow. I drank it again and this time with much more ease than the first time. The taste is much better this time around. For the next couple of hours I lie in bed again and wonder at the marvel of creation, and the beauty of life. I think that in urine there could be the funnelling down of all aspects of the human being, it contains information about all of our body parts, like a daily review.
<br>
<br>
8:30 (T 10:07) - Warm bath. Afterwords I go for a walk outside, I marvel at the flying birds and the bird feeders which I never noticed before. The sun is shining and I think: 'What a wonderful world this is.'
<br>
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Afterword:
<br>
<br>
The following day I felt really well, had lots of energy, I was much more happier and I was singing lots. The trip allowed me to let go of some of my previous beliefs about myself and what had happened to me. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">The trip allowed me to let go of some of my previous beliefs about myself and what had happened to me.</div></div> Due to that I feel a lot lighter and I do not spend so much time as before being sad and lamenting over the past. Additionally I also realized that I have inside of myself huge potential, everyone of us does! I feel really relaxed after all of that, and a general sense of calm has futher accompanied me throughout the following days. I am thankful for the experience and perhaps sometime in the future I will repeat it. However I have also noticed that regular physical exercise and just 'sitting' also posess beneficial effects of the expansion of consciousness, although it is a much slower process. Therefore I think that we need a dual approach to ourselves, because as someone once said; 'Spiritual and Physical life should grow together'.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2012</td><td width="90">ExpID: 95016</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 23</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 15, 2021</td><td>Views: 564</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=95016&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=95016&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Yoga / Bodywork (202) : Combinations (3), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Glowing Experiences (4), Alone (16)</td></tr>
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">8 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/tramadol/">Pharms - Tramadol</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">6 bowls</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(dried)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<!-- Hello Erowid community. I wanted to start off by saying that this-->This experience happened to me when I was 19 and I had done all of these substances prior on their own. I want to point out that this experience is being written to emphasize the importance of intention-setting before embarking on a journey with any substance, as well as the dangers of mixing various substances at the same time. This was the most (negatively) intense trip I have ever had to date, and I have not mixed so many substances in such a careless way ever again after this, although I have definitely tried new substances since and the same ones in smaller doses or singularly.
<br>
<br>
I was at a stage of my life where I was really depressed and self-destructive, although optimistic about the nihilism of life, even if that sounds strange. In the weeks leading up to this, I had discovered Tramadol and it had quickly become my DOC, as I am an individual who suffers a lot of physical (and emotional / mental) pain, at the time. I was taking usually around 6 - 9 Tramadol every time I would ingest the wonderful body-numbing substance.
<br>
<br>
THE EXPERIENCE: (T: 8:30am) I was in high school at the time. It was a Friday and I had decided to skip school. My dad was on a business trip and my mom worked 6am - 8pm every day, so I woke up to go to school and then came back when I knew my mom had left. My dad had let me borrow his car and I was very thankful, as I had reliable transportation. I decided to go to a nearby park and I took 8 Tramadol at about 8:30 am and enjoyed the beautiful Florida weather. It was not humid whatsoever, and slightly windy. I then thought to myself, 'hmm. I want to have a crazy experience today. I'm going to try to find mushrooms and trip at home!' I stayed in the park, trying to find connects, waiting for the Trams to kick in. Once I had gotten a reliable connect, I drove back to my house to meet them.
<br>
<br>
(T: 9:00am) I got home and while I waited for the connect to come thru, I watched episodes of the Office, which I really enjoyed at the time. I was definitely starting to feel the beautiful sedating euphoria that comes with Tramadol, and then suddenly, to my intention-less 19-year-old mind, I remember that my friend had gifted me a roll the other day and I decided to ingest that as well, while I waited for the connect to come. I sat watching the Office.
<br>
<br>
(T: 10:00am) A knock at the door. The connect was here. I was barely starting to feel the tingling of the MDMA, although it was a strange contrast between the numbing Tramadol and the tingling MDMA. I was starting to feel really excited and uppity, but I had never met this connect so I didn't want to act bizarre. She walked in, sold me 5 grams of mushrooms, and right before she walked out, she stopped and looked at me and said: 'Hey, can I make you a deal?'
<br>
'What's up?' I asked casually.
<br>
'I'll smoke you out if you let me smoke in your house and watch the Office with you.' <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">'I'll smoke you out if you let me smoke in your house and watch the Office with you.'</div></div>
<br>
<br>
'Sure,' I said slightly hesitantly, as again, I had never met this person before. I was also at a point in my life where just one bowl of weed would get me extremely high, but it was that giggly, giddy, happy high. I was what my friends called a 'One Hit Wonder,' and I always laughed at that because it was true. However, she smoked me out on 6 bowls of cannabis, and by the end of the session I was extremely faded and she proceeded to thank me and leave the house.
<br>
<br>
(T: 10:30am) As soon as she left, I made myself two mini-sandwiches, each with 1.5 grams of shrooms. As I ate the first sandwich, my intention-less mind thought 'Hey, I just remembered that my friend gifted me a tab of acid yesterday!' I searched my room for it and found it, proceeded to place it under my tongue, and then ate the second 1.5 gram mushroom sandwich.
<br>
<br>
Just a recap, at this point I was on 8 Tramadol, had started rolling from the MDMA, and had just ingested 3 grams of mushrooms and a tab of acid after having smoked 6 bowls to the face. I sat there, watching the Office, waiting for it all to kick in. I was in for an experience unlike any other I had ever had.
<br>
<br>
(T: 11:00am) The first thing that brought my attention to the fact that my trip was about to become discombobulated was that, in the midst of the numbing faded euphoria I was in, my eyes started rolling to the back of my head. This has happened to me multiple times on opiates and while rolling, and I took it as no sign of concern. I closed my eyes briefly as it felt pleasant to not have and visual stimulation for the TV at the moment. I kept my eyes closed for what seemed like a minute or two, and when I opened my eyes, that's when everything started to get wonky.
<br>
<br>
(T: 11:15am) Once I opened my eyes, the first thing I discovered was that the Office, which I had obviously just been watching, had suddenly started to not be in English. I was confused, as I felt like I just wasn't paying enough attention, and so I turned on the subtitles, only to find that the subtitles were also not in any language I could understand (Spanish is my first language and I know Polish, so it wasn't just a different language; it was characters and symbols straight out of hieroglyphs). This concerned me, as up to this point, the Office was the only thing that was making cohesive sense, the only thing keeping me tethered to the world around me, in a sense. This seems naive in hindsight.
<br>
<br>
The next sensation I felt was extreme bodily discomfort; not soreness or pains, but mores like my skin was too receptive to everything I was touching with my body; the couch, the blanket, the TV remote, they all seemed foreign. I got a little uncomfortable and decided to lie in my parent's bed and try watching TV to calm me down a bit. I walked to their room, lay in bed, and turned on the TV, but at this point I wasn't paying attention to whatever was playing at all (I think it was Spanish infomercials???), instead, I was increasingly focused on how my touch receptors were reacting; the soft covers that my parent's bed had felt TOO soft, TOO comfortable, basically to the point of discomfort. This is when it all went south.
<br>
<br>
(T: 11:30am - 1pm) For the next hour and a half, I cycled between watching TV on the couch, getting up after 2 minutes, watching TV on my parent's bed, getting up after 2 minutes, lying down on my own bed trying to listen to music, then getting up after 2 minutes and repeating this cycle over and over. I felt like nothing I did felt comfortable or right. I was looping in an anxious state, as if this was all I could do and it never felt comfortable. This discomfort was most definitely brought on by the combination of Tramadol and MDMA at doses that I would have done them separately, but I had decided to combine them. I quickly went to my backyard to realize I had also started tripping pretty hard and was having intense color enhancement and the wind felt soothing on my face. I sat outside trying to light a cigarette for 20 minutes, getting distracted by my own bodily sensations, and trying again. At this point, I was starting to feel very nauseous and I panicked and told myself, 'Fuck, I think I'm about to have a bad trip.' This was my first mistake, nailing that thought into my head. I had never had a bad trip before this one so I was nervous because of all of the other substances I had ingested as well. I took a few drags off a cigarette and, no matter how pleasant my external environment seemed due to the hallucinogens, my body was feeling really overloaded. I went inside to try and vomit, thinking I could spare myself from what was to come.
<br>
<br>
(T: 1:30pm) I lay by the toilet and tried to vomit, but nothing would come out. I was getting more and more high by the second, my body felt like it was melting and electrifying all at the same time. I thought to myself that a shower would help, and so I got completely naked and sat in the cold bathtub and let the water slowly trickle from the faucet as opposed to actually taking a shower (I was afraid that the feeling of hot water all over my skin would be too intense). I sat in one corner while the tub was slowly filling with cold water, creeping up towards me more and more. The second that the icy water touched my feet, I freaked out, jumped out of the tub yelling 'NOPE' and proceeded to run into my room and jump onto my bed.
<br>
<br>
Now, as soon as my body landed on the bed, I can only describe this sensation as the feeling of every single bone in my body breaking in unison. I felt extreme agony and pain in every fiber of my body, and for about 7 minutes, I muttered to myself in inebriated sentences; 'Holy shit, I just broke every bone in my body. I need to call 911. How can I call if I just broke all of my bones? I wish somebody would help me. Oh, I'm going to die.' As I was immobile on my bed, the walls of the room started to distort in size; one second, it felt as if they were suffocating me, right up to my face, and the next, they were stretching endlessly into the furthest realms of time &amp; space. I wasn't even sure of where I was. The pain continued in excruciating agony.
<br>
<br>
Suddenly, I had a moment of clarity; 'Wait, my bones aren't broken. I'm fine. Look, I'm going to get up now,' I told myself. I slowly sat upright on the bed, feet dangling, looking at my room; the patterns being cast by the sunlight through my blinds, moving very quickly, almost as if I was inside of a dryer with my room; everything was swirling around and changing shapes and colors and pretty soon I couldn't distinguish if was I was experiencing was reality or not. That thought sent me over the edge, and I stood up quickly.
<br>
<br>
Now, I've had tracers in many trips on many substances, but these tracers were unlike anything I had ever experienced. I was moving through time. As I stood up, I felt what I can only describe as a human presence behind me. I slowly turned around out of fear, and what I found scared me even more; it was me. I was staring at a naked version of myself that was a few seconds delayed, as if I had just stood up quickly again. I freaked out, needless to say.
<br>
<br>
I started running from my room, turned around to look behind me, only to see a bunch of naked me's chasing me, just a second or two behind the last. I couldn't believe what I was seeing and running didn't feel like anything. It felt as if I was deprived of all of my senses and experiencing them at their strongest all at the same time. I continued to scream and run around my house, being followed by a bunch of naked me's, while everything around me melted; the walls, the paintings, the tables, the couches, all became a swirl of a multitude of changing colors. I had never felt fear like this. I didn't know what to do. I was on the verge of running out of my house, naked, asking somebody if they would help me or call 911. My bones felt like they were melting with every step, like I was sinking in quicksand and then getting out of it with the next step. I didn't know what to do next so I called my girlfriend at the time.
<br>
<br>
(T: 2:00pm) My girlfriend, 'Z,' was still in school, but I called her and she picked up:
<br>
'Hello?' I heard on my phone.
<br>
'Z PLEASE COME PICK ME UP IM AT MY HOUSE AND IM DYING I TOOK TOO MANY DRUGS AT ONCE PLEASE COME AND TELL ME EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE FINE IM BEING CHASED BY ME'
<br>
<br>
My girlfriend at the time was very inexperienced and naive when it came to drugs and had no idea what to do, so she told me she would pick me up as soon as she got out of her last class, which ended at 3pm. I told myself I could survive until then.
<br>
I tried laying in bed, but I was too hot, then too cold, then the covers felt like they were braking my bones, then my bones felt numb, then my entire body felt numb and I punched myself a few times to see if I would feel anything. The visuals were too erratic and intense to describe any further. I had no sense of time or spacial awareness whatsoever. I decided to lay in bed and videotape myself doing whatever I was doing so I could watch it later. It turned out to be a video of me fidgeting around in bed endlessly while muttering to myself, turning music on just to turn it off again (NOTHING sounded pleasant to me at the time), and more muttering.
<br>
<br>
(T: 3:00pm - 11pm) After what felt like an eternity, Z told me she had reached my neighborhood. I hurriedly put on clothes and ran all the way to the gate of my neighborhood, which felt both extremely long and extremely fast simultaneously. When I reached her car, I jumped into the passenger seat, muttered 'Drive.', and then she drove me to her house. The next few hours were me sitting on a couch, watching the Office (again), and being caressed (only sometimes, because it still felt really intense to touch anything, including the blanket I was under). I was in a catatonic, brain-fried state for the entire weekend and I didn't come home until Sunday afternoon, having told my mom I was sleeping at Z's house. I did nothing but process what had just happened to me, try to eat but couldn't, and stared at a screen while Z worriedly tried taking care of me.
<br>
<br>
This experience taught me a lot about the use of intention when ingesting substances. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">This experience taught me a lot about the use of intention when ingesting substances.</div></div> It is never a good idea to take a substance without first setting an intention of what you want to accomplish during the journey, without feeling comfortable with what you're about to do. I foolishly had taken all of these substances in those same doses separately, and my mistake was taking the same dose but all of them mixed together. Mixing substances so carelessly can definitely result in encounters with law enforcement, hospitalization, and / or death. I honestly felt like I had died every single time I felt all of my bones break. <!-- This experience was shared to inform everybody to do through research on any substance they take and to never mix in such high quantities unless you are extremely experienced and know exactly how your body will react.-->
<br>
<br>
I have since tried DMT, Kratom, LSA, and various other substances, and I have never had an experience as excruciating as this one.I have grown and learned immensely from this one experience. <!-- Please be careful and know your body, know the substance, and know your source, and PLEASE, set a positive intention beforehand.
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Thank you for reading and namaste.
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<br/>
ADONIS--><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2013</td><td width="90">ExpID: 110521</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 19</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 15, 2021</td><td>Views: 1,580</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=110521&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=110521&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Pharms - Tramadol (149), MDMA (3), Mushrooms (39), LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : Alone (16), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 7:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">8 - 10 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">vaporized</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(extract)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Last night, (April 19, 2021), was a very foreign experience.
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<br>
After receiving 2 small white tabs of blotter from a new friend, supposedly straight from Austin, TX, I realized that the next day would be Bicycle Day! I hadn't taken any LSD for over 6 months, and was very eager to celebrate 4/19 authentically for the first time. I kept in mind that the LSD I had just purchased didn't have a known dosage along with it, simply my new friend's anecdotal, "this acid don't play."
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<br>
I had decided to wait until noon, so that I could finish online work for school early. I nearly couldn't sleep the night before in excitement. Noon rolled around, and I placed one blotter under the tongue carefully.
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<br>
About 1 hour and 20 minutes after noon, I was finally rolling along. An almost identical experience to the notorious gel tabs I had partook in last year. It was definitely good acid. Giddy, euphoric, and very comfortably manageable, I was simply under the impression that it was a small amount, most likely 50 - 100ug, being such a small blotter. I can ramble on about the minutia of a moderate dose of LSD and its fantastic effects, but with the sheer amount of experiences available<!-- on this website-->, I can wholeheartedly say, I would be redundant in rehashing what thousands have said already. I came to the conclusion that the blotters were simply average, and I was receiving all that I would from the one tab.
<br>
<br>
I was dead wrong.
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<br>
Nearly about 6 or 7 hours after I had truthfully accepted that the trip was over, I was only observing faint, almost indiscriminate OEV's. I was oily and felt like I had been through the wringer, as many will describe the come down. Then, a close friend texted me, asking if I wanted to try her cannabis cartridge she just bought. I told her "absolutely, would be really nice to cool down after today."
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<br>
I park, we visit, we pass the cartridge back and forth about 8-10 times, and I am beginning to relax. Cannabis is great on the tail end of getting fucked up, but I was not prepared in the slightest for the following 3 hours.
<br>
<br>
The geometry was creeping back gently. It was identical to countless stereotypical video replications provided by the internet. I told her "Fuck, I'm still tripping hard, this is great. Get to ride the roller coaster again." We said our goodbyes and good lucks, and I trudged off to my truck.
<br>
<br>
<span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. <a href="/chemicals/show_image.php?i=dmt/dmt_contraindications1.gif">Don't do it!</a>]</span>
<br>
<br>
I then carefully drove home, parked, and enjoyed my tripping self. My experience had doubled, since the "Peak" around 4 PM, in the span of 40 minutes. I was ecstatic, and frankly in the best mindset possible. I was then tasked with accompanying my mother with her evening walk. Mind you, it was windy and quite chilly yesterday, so while we walked and visited, my responses in conversation were perfectly coherent, but limited. A gorgeous orangey purple hue filled the late evening sky, houses rippled on the horizon, and I was enjoying it intensely. I did not venture into beginning any talking points to my mother, I simply provided simple responses to her in lieu of my condition. The wind felt like I had formed freezer burn on my forearms and legs. We both decide to head to our home since I was wearing shorts and a button up shirt, she would circle our cul-de-sac, and she would finish her walk after I returned outside with a jacket. I sat down inside my room, I grab my jacket, and I am still very intoxicated. I then forget my current task.
<br>
<br>
I didn't return outside, I simply couldn't.
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<br>
I was then propelled full speed into a blistering fit of hallucination. Palpitations, sweating, and an unfathomable "unraveling" of the very constitution of the reality around me. Had my mother decided to enter the house and confront me for making her walk the block (apparently 6 times), waiting for me to return with a jacket, I might have been babbling as incoherently as a sea lion.
<br>
<br>
I wish I could describe with much more concise language; I truly wish I had the vocabulary to describe the "opening ceremony" that unfolded before me. I had a slippery, intangible sense of horror, pure adrenaline-fueled terror. The acid had begun this rampant, thought-looping, and fascinating display of intense visual aberration. Nearly touchable three dimensional geometry filled my plane of view. As I peered around my room, my room was still there, but I was not perceiving what truly was occurring. The lamp and digital clock were beaming with an orangey flame, like an acetylene torch with too much oxygen. Some objects had streaming halls of mirrors behind them, edges of objects began to ripple and shift with as much vigor as they were made of smoke, transfixed into these shapes of items I hold dear to my reality.
<br>
<br>
Suddenly, therein lie the punch. I had been bitch-slapped back into the purest, most visceral hallucinations I have ever experienced. Some part of me wanted to google if cannabis ACTUALLY could have just sent me into this hell scape I was now in, 8-9 hours after initial dose. I was certain I hadn't just been dosed with something foreign in the cartridge, it was just good-ass cannabis oil. Shifting in and out of my reality, observing changes in hue, texture, and tangibility. Tunnel vision occurred intermittently, piercing into another plane of reality, like a fish bursting out of the water, to be suddenly cast into an entirely foreign environment. My inner monologue was scraping to remain intact, and I gladfully was competently able to stay composed, at least physically. The only fear that remained was lingering mildly; that which I had slayed already. I was afloat upon tumultuous waves of perception. Surfing you might say. I could transverse this experience, paddle along, and remind myself that my reality was HERE. HERE is my plane of existence, and I am coming down soon, and I will be just fine.
<br>
<br>
Gradually, I was returned to normalcy. At about 11:36, 11 hours and 36 minutes since initial dose, I had regained my choke hold on reality again. What I had experienced was the immediate issue of concern, so I pounced to my computer<!-- , and immediately consulted Erowid-->. What came to my realization, was that I had undergone the tail end of an acid trip, sent into overdrive in the last few hours possible, pushing my previously solid mental limit of conceptualization. This acid took that limit and chewed it up, and spit it the fuck out.
<br>
<br>
It only took 20 minutes of reading within the difficult LSD experiences<!-- on Erowid-->; they were describing what has been identified as LSD induced ego death. I immediately related every, single, small, detail of personal disintegration from reality I had experienced. I couldn't recall my life, my only reality, I only knew I was observing something in the eyes of some vessel much less personal, much more spiritual.
<br>
<br>
I then tongue-in-cheek decided to listen to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon before succumbing to sleep around 12:20 AM this morning, enjoying some faint CEV's.
<br>
<br>
Here I am now, perfectly fine, April 20, 2021, refreshed and rested.
<br>
<br>
I got to celebrate Bicycle Day 2021 in the most existentially shattering way possible, and I have a new found understanding, respect, and admiration for those who truly see the benefit in these substances.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2021</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115397</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 6, 2021</td><td>Views: 550</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=115397&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=115397&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Cannabis (1), LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), General (1), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">120 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
(( the actual experience begins several paragraphs down. ))
<br>
<br>
I knocked the second thing off of my bucket list a few months ago (the first being able to speak another language.)
<br>
<br>
Hallucinogens. Ever since I first heard of them, I knew it was something that I had to experience myself. Being a natural loner, I accepted that I probably would never be able to since I don't have many hookups. Nevertheless, the opportunity showed itself to me and I jumped at the chance. My best friend, T, invited me to go to Life in Color with her and her friends. We would drive down, stay the night in a hotel, and drive back the next day. I agreed without hesitation.
<br>
<br>
I met T's friends when I got in the car with them on our way out of town. There was L, whose parents were rich and had just bought her a new car for her 16th birthday. She seemed nice, but in a condescending way and I got vibes that she didn't approve of me. There was her boyfriend, D, whom I immediately got along with. Lastly, there was D's best friend, J. They had kicked out one of their friends so that I could come. That friend was supposed to be their hookup for the acid tabs, and an hour into our drive he called to say that he might not be able to get it for us. I suddenly felt very unwanted and I could feel everyone's regret for bringing me instead. Even T.
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<br>
A couple hours later, we arrived and secured our hotel room. We smoked a few bowls while we waited for my stepbrother to show up because he was going to be the driver. Everyone was a little disappointed because they weren't sure if they could find acid inside the venue and for most, that was going to be the high point of the trip (no pun intended).
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<br>
We got to the rave and I was separated from the crew almost instantly. <!-- My stepbrother and I hung out and listened to the music for a couple hours, then around midnight, the paint cannon went off. We were all drenched in paint, up our noses, in our mouths and eyes. I was blinded and suddenly felt very paranoid so I escaped the crowd and was separated from my stepbrother.--> I ended up spending the majority of the rave by myself, but I didn't mind at all.
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<br>
I met up with my group around 2 am and they were all rolling. They'd found molly and taken it and they were all so lovey and wanted to hug me. We left and it was hard to get out of the parking lot because there were paramedics. Someone had collapsed in the parking lot and we still never found out if he or she is okay.
<br>
<br>
My stepbrother drove us back to the hotel and he went home. We went to our room and smoked some more while everyone took turns showering. Apparently they had found some acid tabs after all; D and J would each get one tab, and T and L would split one. They didn't get any for me.
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<br>
Everyone left to look for a vending machine and D stayed behind. He hugged me and said he was worried when I got separated. He asked if I was going to trip with them. I explained that there wasn't enough, and he worked it out so that I would get a half tab because he really wanted me to experience it with them, especially for my first time. L was not happy when she found out.<!--
<br/>
<br/>
T and L worked on biting open the inside of their bottom lips because they claimed it would take effect faster. D dropped his tab immediately and J was going to save his.--> I dropped my half tab and then the other girls dropped theirs<!-- (after spitting out the blood from cutting their lips)-->.
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<br>
We waited about a half hour and got worried that we weren't going to trip at all. The first thing that I noticed was the vibration of my body. I could feel every muscle; every miniscule movement I made stretched and felt amazing. I didn't have any visuals yet so I lifted my fingers to look for tracers... I didn't get that far because I was instantly distracted by how INCREDIBLY SOFT the air was. The whole atmosphere was almost tangible, fuzzy and so comfortably warm. I could reach out and pet it and it made me so happy.
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<br>
Everything about going up was soft, warm, comfortable, and SO pleasant. It escalated from comfort to happiness to pure ecstasy; it was honestly the most extreme happiness I have ever felt in my life. Every tiny movement felt like and orgasm and I couldn't stop smiling.
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<br>
I looked straight up and the place where the mirror met the ceiling looked like another dimension. I could feel myself going up and over the light at the top of the mirror and into a classroom setting. I didn't like it so I came back.
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<br>
I remembered L saying that looking at yourself in the mirror is the biggest trip and you'll never see yourself the same way. I was disappointed when I looked at myself and I looked exactly the same. I was almost disgusted to look at myself because I was so ugly. Dark circles under my eyes, no makeup, disheveled hair, acne scars, and pale, chapped lips. When I was sober later, I realized that isn't actually what I look like, but when I was tripping I was convinced that I was the ugliest person in the world and maybe that was why I was so unwanted, even by T, my best friend.
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<br>
I was teetering on the edge of a bad trip when D started talking. 'Is this show even real? Whaaaaat?' The TV was on and I think we were watching Friends. 'I'm frying,' said D. 'What the fuck?! Look at their necks!' We all laughed, deep belly laughs that felt amazing and genuine, because the actors on the show all had ridiculous giraffe necks and we were all seeing the same thing. J laughed too, but he hadn't taken his tab so he wasn't on the same wavelength as us. It was like we were all thinking the same thoughts, laughing at the same moments and gasping in pleasure at the same sensations. All someone had to say was one word and we all agreed enthusiastically because we knew exactly the meaning. J took his half tab. A commercial came on TV that had a man in a pig mask. We thought it was scary so we turned off the TV and the darkness was very intriguing.
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<br>
At some point, D turned on the light. It was the most beautiful thing we had ever seen: glowing, alive, crawling across the ceiling with electric and jumpy motions. It was almost too much for us and we wanted to go back to darkness. We turned off the light but turned on the hall light so that we could see.
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<br>
We got up and smoked several times. We stopped worrying about blowing out the window. We wanted the whole hotel room to be filled with the sweet smelling smoke.
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<br>
We decided to go out in the hall. It felt like the most rebellious thing we could do. We had this sensation that 'they' didn't want us to go out, 'they' wanted us to stay in the room where it was safe and 'they' would get mad if we went on an adventure. We walked out, slowly, gasping and laughing and the carpet and tumultuous walls. We touched the ice cooler at the end of the hall and then ran back to safety, hysterical from such an adventure.
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<br>
Someone asked the time and it was 5:30 am. What? How?? Time was such a trip. I swear it went backwards sometimes.
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<br>
I kept getting the sensation that someone was missing, but after counting realized that everyone was there. I saw someone run across the room to the door several times, but checked and everyone was sitting or laying on the beds. I realized that there are others and they protect us, sometimes scare us, and they make the air thick and soft with their presence. They aren't threatening. They aren't ghosts or demons. Maybe angels. My good friend claims that they are Jinn, and maybe he's right. Just... Others.
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<br>
At one point, my finger brushed against T's side and we both gasped in ecstasy. Amazed, I did it again, but she shied away from my touch. She didn't want me anywhere near her. I felt incredibly sad and I felt excluded and unwanted again.
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<br>
I went to the bathroom as I was reaching my peak, and when I came back, everything got intense. Everything was folding into itself. Time, and space. Everything had a sense of repetition. My thoughts were fast and repetitive. I felt like I was always on the verge of a groundbreaking discovery, but just when I almost figured it out, my mind would jump backwards to the first thought in the chain. I felt frustrated that I couldn't dwell on one thought, but decided to just ride it out. Literally. The bed underneath me was moving. It stretched and moved in waves and folded in on itself, just like time, my thoughts, and the flow of everything going in circles. Someone found a video of optical illusions; one of them had patterns that were disappearing into themselves and repeating, spiraling vortexes and resurfacing shapes and objects. 'That's it! That's exactly what it looks like right now!' L said, and we all agreed excitedly.
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<br>
The bed I was on felt so enormous at times, and I lost track of where the other bed was. They wouldn't stop moving and changing places and flipping upside down and folding in half. Despite my bed taking up so much space, I felt if I moved at all I would fall off and the vine pattern in the carpet would grab me. I clung to the blankets and tried to keep my balance.
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<br>
We smoked again. And again.
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<br>
I looked at my hand. It was surrounded by electric energy, like colorful lightning zapping around my fingers and up my wrist, following my veins to my heart. I touched my skin and explored my body. I was so soft, especially my breasts. I was surprised and delighted to rediscover that I had nipples. I was in awe when my fingers traveled into my mouth and I could hardly stand the warmth of my breath.
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<br>
I let myself drift into one of the vortexes. I don't know if I actually slept or was just in a trance, but next thing I knew, the sun was up and L was standing between J and I, telling us it was time to leave. T was parroting everything L said and they both seemed very condescending, complaining that they would have to baby us because we were too far gone. I was annoyed and my best friend was still ignoring me.
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<br>
D wouldn't get up. He said he wasn't okay. 'Just have to make it to the car, love,' L said to him gently. We somehow managed to gather all of our things and make it downstairs to the car. We left the room smelling dank and there was kandi everywhere but there was nothing we could do.
<br>
<br>
Just as going up was pleasantly warm, coming down was pleasantly cool. Water was amazing. We listened to music in the car and it was healing. I felt a headache coming on, but I somehow absorbed the music and it healed me. We were all so peaceful, except for D, who was groaning in the front seat, and J, who was just reaching his peak since he dropped his tab later. We stopped at the store for snacks and everything smelled so very good.
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<br>
At some point during the drive home, J's fingers twitched against my thigh and he made a little noise of delight when he experienced how soft my leggings were. He continued wiggling the tips of his fingers against my leg and that tiny gesture felt so orgasmic to both of us. It was strange how we had hardly talked all weekend, knew nothing of each other besides our names, but we were sharing such an intimate connection. As the car ride progressed, so did our touch. We wanted to explore more -- but it wasn't sexual in any way. I had no sexual thoughts or desires and his hand never ventured anywhere besides my outer leg. By the time we got back into town, our hands were clasped together in his lap, he was leaning on me making comfortable mumbling noises, his other hand was running the length of my leg and my other hand was tracing the designs on the back of his shirt. I got out when L got to my house and I haven't seen or spoken to J since.
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<br>
I would not take back this experience back for anything. It was the happiest I've ever felt in my life. If I ever get the chance to trip again, I will in a heartbeat, and hopefully have more adventures.
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<!--
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- Ky, November 2014--><!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2014</td><td width="90">ExpID: 105634</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 15, 2021</td><td>Views: 800</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=105634&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=105634&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Relationships (44), Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">Repeated bowls</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(flowers)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">145 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I had little experience with drugs. I had heavily smoked marijuana for the past 8 months or so, and decided to give myself a little more than I bargained for. I started out with shrooms and ambien. I loved both of them a lot. Hallucinogens seemed to be the right drug for me. I soon did shrooms about 10 times in the span of 4 months. <!-- (not a good idea, makes you feel pretty dumb). --> I always had wanted to try acid, but was just scared of actually going through with it and doing it. Finally, one of my friends lets call her K, said that she had found some acid, and asked if I would like to buy some.
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<br>
I had to find another person to trip with, since I knew that I would not do too well on my own. My friend, S decided that she would buy two hits, and trip with me. We were expecting to get two 150 microgram gel-tabs each, but was surprised when we received sugar cubes instead.
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Apparently, the 3 whole sugar cubes all had one hit on them, but the last sugar cube was cut in half. That one had about 1.5 hits on it, so I decided that I would take I ALWAYS do more than S.
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Earlier we had gotten a dub, and decided to smoke it right after we ingested the sugar cubes. We ingested them at 10:20 a.m.
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T: 0:00 – Took 2.5 hits via sugar cubes, and smoked 4 bowls. Instantly, things started creeping barely. I felt a little more than stoned. Just a tad bit more over baseline than I would have been without it.
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<br>
T: 0:20 – Twenty minutes after, I begin to see my peripheral vision tweak out, and realize that it’s about to begin.
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T: 0:40 – I am full on frying, and we decided to watch Alice in wonderland. About 10 minutes into the movie, I am fully enveloped in my visual hallucinations. I couldn’t focus on anything. I was just hysterically laughing at all of the colors and shapes whizzing by me. S and me decided that the house was a bad idea, and that the park would be a much better place to hang out.
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<!--
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-It is about to get weird, so if you don’t understand, I’m sorry. I’m trying to write it down while its fresh in my mind.
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-->
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T: 1:10 – We are at the park, in the middle of a field. It was about 85 degrees out, and I was basking in the ambience of the atmosphere. I remember seeing rainbow flowers everywhere. After about 5 minutes of just rambling on about nothing, I started talking about the earth. The grass felt like the earth’s fetus. The Earth is so massive, and life is above the surface, but we only have 1 atom’s depth until we are below the surface. I was so fascinated. Then, the grass started to morph into a big mound, and we started to witness the earth showing us the vagina of wonders.
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<br>
T: 1:30 – I was starting to feel weird, which was not good when it came to me and hallucinogens. I knew that a bad wave was coming on, and that it would’ve been good if we returned to my house. At my house, I started seeing everything turn dark, and take over my body. My skin felt loud, I tasted pink in my mouth, and I was watching feelings. I seemed to have been in a trance, because I could not control my muscle movements.
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T: 2: 00 – I decide to call my friend H, to see how long this “bad feeling” would last, and she informed me that the next peak would bring me great relief. No sooner did I talk to her, that my feelings got worse.
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T: 2:45 – I was beginning to become very nervous. I was under the impression that my mother had been gone too long just to pick up a few things from the store. I began to grow worried, but was relieved about a half-hour later when my mom arrived with groceries.
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T: 3:30 – Me and S decided to finish Alice in Wonderland, and watch the Flintstones. I saw geometric patterns everywhere, and was quite interested in them. I began to feel amazing, like no other euphoric feeling that I had ever gotten. That was short lived when my parents decided to leave for a barbecue.
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T: 5:00 – I start getting a headache, and S starts to feel a little uneasy, too. We decide to calm down, watch some more TV, and wait out the uncomfortableness.
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T: 6:30 – I started getting over my headache, and it got worse and worse, and more excruciating, and decided to smoke more pot in order to make the visuals come back. S and me had a very close talk about god. She had recently been wondering what she believed in, and what the afterlife is. We came to the conclusion (in relation to quantum-physics) that God is Infinity, god is time, substance, and space. We thought that Christians’ just tried to make this idea into the form of human life. They tried to make god seem like a human being of some sorts, make him life. We discovered that god was a system of logic, and that when we die, we sleep forever. We are reunited with long lost memories and loved ones. We are in peace and eternal serenity. We govern our own world, and we become one with the idea of life.
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T: 11: 40 – It was around 9 o’ clock, and we decided that drawing would be a good idea. During this drawing period, we saw rainbows and sparkles dotting the paper that we were drawing all over. We also came to the conclusion that we are different people from the rest. That we understand something that no one else understands. We became closer. We are total opposites, but with the same human rhythm to be compatible. Her hallucinations were totally opposite from mine, but we experienced the same things. We were convinced that we are telepathic. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Her hallucinations were totally opposite from mine, but we experienced the same things. We were convinced that we are telepathic.</div></div> It was really a crazy, spiritual release that calmed me.
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<br>
T:14:00 – Still grilling our brains out, we decided to smoke about 4 more bowls before watching a move and going to bed. After smoking, we decide to put in Cheech and Chong’s Up In Smoke, and instantly regretted it. The part where the crack head snorts up the 3 fatty lines of AJAX, and tweaks the fuck out, really terrified us. We instantly put in Beauty Shop, and watch a hairdressing comedy until I fell asleep. Before falling asleep, the weed intensified the acid feelings again, and I soon was fidgeting around, and thinking crazy again.
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<br>
T: 18:40 – I am startled at 5 a.m. to the alarm clock of my friend S’s cell phone, and wake her up to give it to her. I remember waking up and still seeing faint geometric patterns on the walls.
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T : 24:00 – I woke up 24 hours after I first ingested them, and still saw slight geometric patterns randomly. I smoked and walked to Starbucks, got coffee, and went back home.
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<br>
I under estimated the full power of LSD, and decided that I would never take it again. I do know that even though it was one of the most terrifying experiences of my life, it taught me a lot, and brought me and my friend S closer together. And, we now have a billion more inside joke because of this experience. It changed me spiritually and motivated me to do something with my life. I am very glad I tripped on this, because if I didn’t, I would have the same mind set I had before.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2007</td><td width="90">ExpID: 63443</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 22, 2021</td><td>Views: 666</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=63443&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=63443&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Cannabis (1), LSD (2) : Combinations (3), First Times (2), General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Mystical Experiences (9), Nature / Outdoors (23), Relationships (44), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">210 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
After this past weekend, I feel I have enough experience to share the effects of LSD on my athletic performance on multiple occasions. I have done various physical activities approximately 5 times on LSD, and I'd like to detail each one. For reference, I have done LSD about 15 times in my life, so about 1/3 of the time I was playing a sport or exercising. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I have done LSD about 15 times in my life, so about 1/3 of the time I was playing a sport or exercising.</div></div> Although dosages vary, I tend to take 2 tabs each time which I would put around 150-200 mcg.
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<br>
Experience one was opening Pandora's box. During college I was a bartender. One night my fellow tender and I were cleaning the bar. We found a jacket left on a barstool and emptied the pockets trying to identify its owner. What popped out blew my eyes wide open. In a ziplock bag, five 10x20 sheets of LSD tabs laid before us with colorful Grateful Dead bears dancing in harmony printed on them. Naturally we sold most of it, but about 50 I kept for myself and friends.
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<br>
One weekend all my roommates went home for break as I stayed behind on an empty campus. With nothing better to do, and it having been about 3 years since my last trip in high school, I popped two tabs and fired up the Playstation. After an hour or so, I felt the lightness in my chest and knew the trip was beginning. I turned off the PS4 and stared in the mirror. Colors were sharper and I pondered what activity would interest me the most at that point. Without much thought I bent to the ground and started doing pushups. Now, I consider myself in excellent shape, but have never broken 40 pushups in my life. After a set of 25, I knelt on the hardwood floor and felt blood pulsing through my entire upper body but zero fatigue. So I reassumed the pushup position. With my hands perpendicular to the floor, I could feel every fiber in my shoulders and chest and how they connected under my skin and how to most efficiently use them in tandem. I proceeded to do 100 pushups without stopping. ONE HUNDRED. After the set I just sat on the floor and wondered what I had just done and how mysterious the mind is to assist me in such a ridiculous personal feat. I am aware of people doing incredible feats like lifting cars in times of crisis, a display that shows the human body has much more muscle power in reserve, and I felt like I had control of 100% of my strength.
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<br>
Two days later my curiosity got the best of me. I had to test out my new found strength in an actual gym. The campus gym was entirely empty which was great because I might have bugged out a little bit with crowds there. I took another two tabs and jumped on a stationary bike. Typically I do 10 minutes on the bike to warm my body up but this day I decided to go for a ride. I biked 10 miles in 20 minutes. The pool of sweat underneath me needed a mop to clean up and my t-shirt looked like I jumped in the pool. For reference, 10 miles in 20 minutes is professional level riding, something I could never dream of replicating. On LSD however, each bike pedal was like a heartbeat, in perfect synchronicity with absolute efficiency and power. Full-speed on one of the highest gears available on the bike, my mind and body became one.
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<br>
Snowboarding is one of my biggest passions, and testing the insane sensory control you have on LSD while riding was on my list of to-do's. I should note that for me, LSD has enabled my focus to expand from one object or item, to 3+ things at the same time. This is why I consider video games so fun on it, because I am able to concentrate on multiple high cognitive-load things at the same time. To visualize, if I was looking down a city street sober, I would see a person walking, or an interesting structure one at a time as I looked at them, but on LSD your mind is able to focus on both simultaneously. This grants things like anticipation and quick decision making during something like snowboarding. The same mind-body unification I experienced on the stationary bike found me while riding the snow. I no longer felt my feet strapped into metal bindings that were screwed to a board. The board felt like an extension of my body that I had complete and utter control over. I also had nerves of steel and the confidence of a king. This combination of insane confidence and control over my equipment led me to more feats I had only dreamed of. After nearly 10 years of riding I was only capable of pulling off 360's from small jumps in the terrain park. But on this day, on the first run of the day, I rocketed full speed at the biggest jump in the park and did a 720 like I was born for it. No hesitation, no panic, just controlled and effortless. I felt every small undulation in the snow and my muscles reacted with lightning speed response. The beauty at the top of the mountain made my eyes tear up as I felt like I was in the place I belonged the most.
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<br>
Finally, last weekend I went to Maine to play some of the best Disc Golf courses in the U.S. Over two days my friend and I played 7 rounds across 4 different courses and walked nearly 30 miles. Those 30 miles are a testament in itself to the power of LSD. You are able to push your body to its limits. Again, from these previous experiences, I wanted to see what my mind and body could do as one during a round of disc. If you haven't played the sport it is much like real golf in the sense there are par 3's, 4's, and 5's, there are fairways in open fields and in the woods with a basket (hole) at the end, and various types of discs to throw a huge variety of distances and shot shapes. It is a very creative and relaxing sport that everyone should try. For reference, I compete in the amateur 1 division during tournaments where the winner will typically shoot -3 on a good course per round, where a pro would shoot around -12. Putting is nearly as difficult as real golf, where my putting percentage inside 30 feet is about 40-50% where pros are in the 90's. I popped two tabs upon arrival to the course after a long drive. It was sunny, a soft cool breeze, and 100+ holes ahead of us. On just the third hole (about 20 minutes in), things got interesting. On a par 4 I threw in my second shot from 150 feet away for the eagle. I could feel the wave of focus starting the envelop me. All the neon discs in my bag looked like they had their own light sources, like they had beams of sun emitting from them.
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<br>
I remember my bright pink driver looking so bright in the sun it could glow at night. Each throw following that third hole was more and more accurate with increasing power. I was throwing laser beam drives through tight windows in trees and only using half the normal exertion. The woods are already beautiful on LSD, so throwing neon discs through fairways in them is just the most visually pleasing thing. When I stepped up to putt, my vision seemed to have a vignette effect where every ounce of sensory input and control available in my body was focused on a single chain in the basket. No outside thoughts of my life crossed my mind. Only the single chain my disc was going to hit for a birdie. No longer was wind an enemy when throwing my disc, rather, it whispered to me, it told me the angle, and height, the power I needed to deliver my disc to the basket. I finished that round -12, rated on that course as an elite professional score. Like my snowboard, the disc felt like a part of my body with my mind as the puppet-master.
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<br>
To conclude, I have never been more fascinated with the potential of this substance and its use in athletics. The creativity, the focus, the efficiency, the confidence, and the control you have while doing sports or exercise is the fullest potential the body has to offer. Although I can never replicate my abilities entirely when sober, there have been many technique changes and lessons I've learned about my abilities that I am trying to utilize.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2021</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115398</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 28</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 8, 2021</td><td>Views: 628</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=115398&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=115398&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Performance Enhancement (50), Retrospective / Summary (11), Various (28)</td></tr>
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
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<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
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<!-- Start Body -->
It began like any other powerful episode does. I began to drift in and out of lucidity, sometimes anxious about the loss of control, sometimes exhilarated about the loss of control, sometimes euphoric in absolute madness, a madness aware of- and somewhat directed. As the night wore on, I entered new places that I had perceived- something that I am not sure I can any longer, but rather it is something I assume after a certain point.
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I began to realise the place I was headed was a very exciting, new and strange place. It had no familiarity, yet it was as if I found something so obvious that I had never truly looked before but it was as if I had always known. It is not explanatory but it fills with the need to express further the actuality of what occurred. Near as I can figure it, when I allowed and accepted where I was going to do for me exactly what I wanted it to do- allow me to feel as though I was truly able to catch a glimpse of a not-material reality. A world that is not based on even language, for as I try to decipher what I was learning, I quickly quickly that I was doing so in the alphabet- A’s, B’s- all of which are part of the very reality that I was annihilating. The identity itself- the ego- began to tear. The fabric itself of what is around me tore and my memories are nearly impossible to translate, for as the ego leaves so do the explicit material ways to explain where I was, I was now beyond a reality where these material issues are of much importance. Now, I started to move internally into a heightened understanding, an understanding and direct association with the self- that one has separated from it so completely that it is not difficult to believe that sometime soon in this state I will feel a true all powering sensation.
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A quick glance around the area, the room, the bookshelves and the people- talking about things completely innocently and materially based, they can not be allowed into my place. I have discovered my place so completely that it is absolutely imperative that people not disturb me. It is somewhere very much the absolute of peace and feels as though I was learning how to reveal to myself the ability to navigate the course of the rest of the journey.
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<br>
At once I began to mentally realise the interventions of the other trippers- two acid, one ecstasy- was a disturbing tie to the material realm. I felt my ego suffer and swell to far too encompassing prominence as I fell to the floor to search for an earring guard. The time I spent on the carpet fed the ego and helped to feed the poison of scientific certainty. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">The time I spent on the carpet fed the ego and helped to feed the poison of scientific certainty.</div></div> At that point, I withdrew from the carpet, cursed the strength of my ego, and declared to myself the certainty with which I would turf it. I began to drift. I drifted hard and I drifted deep under the layers. I could feel my essence move within itself, contort inwardly yet separate absolutely from where I had been inside the ego itself. This very ego that was so all encompassing I had never seen it fit (nor had the comfort to admit) anywhere, yet it was everything absolutely everywhere in the material reality I had assumed the misfortune to believe. At this point, I was gone- I was in a new place in its absolute entirety. The truth of the matter is that once one has comprehended how absolutely utterly impossible – totally impossible- to truly trust that which is “here”- material reality- assumes the place of a set fantasy, where the reality one can see through trust and experience with the annihilated ego “self”. This is a place where all consciousness blurs into one base understanding, one felt with extreme clarity, but it is not certain if that feeling comes from my material shell or from my actual understanding, my true essence. Once I understood- something so powerful total and absolutely illuminating- at that point I began to cry and laugh and every massive emotion welled and the pleasure and the realisation was almost so potent as to feel like I was overflowing with sensation. The sensation began to take on something beyond this world so utterly- so entirely so- that nothing other than the experience could be understood. I was looking but I could not see yet I saw more than was there- I breathed yet was unaware of the air or even the body taking it in- I thought and felt both infant and 1000 years old, older than true knowledge itself.
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I was in the closest thing I can define to true sanity, the total expression I have known. I saw where I had earlier torn the fabric of the connection I had to the material egos in the form of my close friends. Then I began to mentally, as though sewing a T-shirt- began to assemble a mentally constructed cellophane separation across the room that kept their material selves from interrupting the space I was in. I had turned away from the room while staring across it and sitting right in the middle of the plane that was here. I thought of little else, except that I had tuned them out entirely. I was off in a new existence to my senses, but again I felt comforted. I learned how to struggle against all the expressions of the petty: I tortured my ego, I attempted to separate from my space as best as one entrance level can take one. I was guided to a place where I was shown doors, choices for paths. I did not have the knowledge as to how to navigate any path as of yet. I was too much the novice. The clarity that was euphoric was the simple spotting of these paths, the conformation for even the sceptical side of the ego that what I saw was very much what was going on and offering itself as a higher knowledge. It was to know that the ego gets in the way. To look around and see the suffering caused by the deception, a deception so clear that the ones I was with knew not even they were being deceived. That felt utterly evil yet brilliant. At this point, I began to wander about the house- including a journey into my room to stare at books, feel the true power and absolute bliss that is my brain itself. The bliss rolled upon itself as the creative imagination took me on more journeys and I stroked the back of my truly attuned cat for quite some time. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">the creative imagination took me on more journeys and I stroked the back of my truly attuned cat for quite some time.</div></div> As I faded from joy to joy in rapid succession until the eyes for the book nor the hand for the notes could function at all.
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<br>
At this point, I realised that I had only begun to truly challenge the ego, never more than 5-10% of it was attacked at the same time at any one point. I never escaped the shackles of the clock, which my friend was kind enough to help me understand- turning it around and watching me fidget, finally culminating in my unplugging it. This I came to see as an act that accepts both the materialist interpretation of the problem and also allows the materialist “solution” to continue to pollute and waste the efforts of the self to attack and crush the ego. The utter attack on all that IS, all that can BE- that has not even begun to be undertaken. But being shown the doors, and given the secrets to what feels near divine- to control the process and to travel deliberately- is a certainty that truly allow me to understand my own insignificance. Yet the greater aspect of my new knowledge is that the insignificance is truly breathtaking and positive. It is to truly know how little we need get caught up in that which is material. It is to see the path free of petty jealousies, concerns towards that which is uncontrollable and to see the need for absolute inner peace part of a pre-requisite to being one who can fight the injustices which ravage and torment so many unwilling egos. It is to know how little is known and to be absolutely delighted in a world and a lifetime of searches. It is to appreciate the word, it is to denigrate the attitude that represses and attacks that which is part of the human spirit.
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It is to know the paths exist and that there is so very much more. It is to be certain of uncertainty, it is to know that reality itself is the only true insanity. It is the vision of the window.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2001</td><td width="90">ExpID: 13976</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 28, 2021</td><td>Views: 492</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=13976&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=13976&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Mystical Experiences (9), Relationships (44), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 bowl</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<!-- Saturday, April 10, 2021
<br/>
<br/>
-->Woke up quick, at about noon, just thought that I had to get enlightened soon. This is the 2nd weekend after two more of our kids have moved out of the house and there is a lot of work to be done. I quickly decided to drop one tab of LSD with breakfast since I had nothing else going on and it would help me get organized and motivated to convert these bedrooms. Then there would be plenty of time for staring at clouds and watching movies or whatever the day brings. This was about my 20th or 30th time taking LSD and I’ve never had a bad trip. As long as someone is watching the kids and nothing important is going on it's all good. As of this writing I plan to wait a few weeks and do it again. Even after this unbelievably terrifying experience which left me shaking and crying for many hours…in a good way!
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My first time taking LSD was just 4 years ago at the age of 39. Before my dad died he told me that he tried LSD and he thought it was a good thing. After he died I decided to study it in depth. I listened to hundreds of hours of Terence McKenna and other folks talk in order to get an idea of what I was looking to get out of these substances, and what to expect. My first time was absolutely amazing and positive. I have since completely changed my outlook and behavior in a major way. I believe LSD fixed whichever wires were crossed in my brain and I was finally allowed to grow up. It also gave me the ability to hold a conversation; you’ll miss it if you suddenly don’t have it. But if you never had the ability in the first place then you grow up a confused, pissed-off individual. Today I can actually listen to what people have to say, no longer having the attention span of a gnat. And I can respond to people without first having to figure out what the hell this person has been talking about. Because something they said in the first 4 words triggered my stupid brain to ponder some other, totally unrelated subject. Then there was the rocket-ship full of anxiety and doubt which came along with it. Seriously, I don’t know what I’d do without weed and LSD. For sure I would still be trapped in my own personal hell. I think I’ve almost got my anger issues &amp; stuff under control thanks to these substances.
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After eating and smoking a little weed I started to feel the LSD effects kick in around 1:00 PM and I decided to take a shower. After cleaning up a bit and brushing my teeth I sat on the shower floor to let the water bounce off of the top of my head while I began to meditate. I’ll usually do this for a little while regardless of how high I am. All of my best designs and ideas come in the shower. I’m not sure how long I was under the water when the shit began to hit the inter-dimensional fan. But I can tell you the water was still warm so maybe it was 1:30 at the time I realized this trip was going to be a very different experience than what I was used to.
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With years of practice I’ve learned how to navigate this psychedelic landscape and manipulate my environment. 20+ years ago I was on a “heroic dose” of mushrooms and I somehow managed to communicate with an entity who gave me some pretty great life advice, in English! Yes, I did see a bright light first and I left my friends to watch their WWE alone while I went into the garage to die. I’ve never experienced such a thing in the LSD realm up to this point but it’s essentially the same thing as with the mushroom experience. I basically play around with these incredibly complicated, interactive, inter-dimensional cartoons. On LSD I can pretty much produce any image my wildest imagination can conjure, animate and modify it however I want. I can cycle through some sort of universal collection of “feelings” just like a rolodex of life experiences. For example I can envision “love” and now I have the ability to cycle through every feeling of hugs, kisses, cards, winks, perfumes and anything else the universe has to offer in regards to love. It can be pretty creepy if my mind goes dark so <!-- you’ll-->I've learned to keep <!-- your-->my thoughts positive! And the whole experience is so introspective that <!-- you’ll-->I end up flipping over every rock in <!-- your-->my brain looking for issues <!-- you-->I can fix.
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<br>
I’ve tried my best to crash the system in coming up with the most complicated sequences of art and music that I can think of. But it’s not “me” in which this stuff is really coming from at all. It’s as if I'm working in conjunction with someone else who possesses this incredible gift. And this other person has quite a sense of humor. I’m reminded of all the silly jesters and gnomes found throughout cultural history. There seems to be some sort of irony at the end of time, or some funny joke hidden within the meaning of life. The more I try to push this “Source” to its limits the more it laughs in my face and shows off what it can do, a lot of times using hilarious ironies and silly cartoonish themes. At times like these my brain actually runs hot as if my processing power is red-lining. Eyes-closed I’m intensely focused, squinting and straining, occasionally crying in amazement as my pineal gland practices the art of navigating this beautiful landscape. At some point I have no choice but to conclude that what I’m communicating with is the absolute Source of all art and inspiration which exists on Earth. This amazing Source must be where all of the great artists and geniuses throughout time have received their information. Or at least they must’ve all had some perspective of this same object communicating information to them non-verbally, or even verbally. The visuals of this object can be “felt” and this seems to be key to understanding all of this. Of course I suspected the Source to be God but it refused to give me a name, try as I might.
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Early in the process of learning to navigate these spaces I found the musical aspect to be the most fun. The limitless amount of musical possibilities always blows my mind. With enough practice I’ve even learned to make music without LSD at all, I can do it well enough with just weed. I love making music in this place. And that’s exactly what I was doing, sitting there on the bottom of that shower at 1:30 just blasting away at this epic hip-hop style beat. Even with all this gardening noise happening right outside an open window, it didn’t matter. In all honesty this was probably like my 10th beat which would flip the music world on its head and dominate all charts…If I only knew how to translate that shit into the physical world…lol. This particular beat I was working on would even put Dr. Dre to shame. This beat might’ve been my best yet. This beat was so good that I was starting to get a little cocky, knowing damn well I wasn’t the Source of all this. As I flipped one of Dre’s awesome beats into my own existing beat, it became even better and I think I may have been slightly dissing Dre at the time of my undoing. While slaying this beat, out of sheer amazement at the beauty of this masterpiece I asked myself a rhetorical question, “How am I not world-famous?” And to my utter shock I received a very real response back. For the first noticeable time in the LSD realm another separate entity clearly responded to me and said, “YOU ALREADY ARE FAMOUS!” With this message I suddenly came to the realization that I was the same “thing” as Dr. Dre. It turns out these messages are not said in English within the LSD realm so I assume this is just the first time I was able to clearly recognize this “feeling” as “language”, and it was NOT my own doing! This was the very moment that my world changed forever. The process of death and rebirth will be completed within about the next 10 minutes. And I would be dropped back onto my bathroom floor from the sky.
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<br>
So the way in which I work on a beat is, I assume the same way you would do it in a real studio. It’s very easy to think of a sound I like and change it up to whatever sounds best to me, make a tempo/beat out of it and then make it loop forever. At that point it just sits there while I layer a bunch of other sounds and effects on top of it. I can take stuff out, whatever I like. It’s crazy how it all just sticks there on whatever tempo/instruments I leave it on while my attention is elsewhere. I could even go have a conversation with someone and come back to my beat later. Any sort of hollow or echo effect is all available, probably a lot more effects than a real life studio. At some point it should be overwhelmingly obvious <!-- to you that your-->that my body is not the Source of all this stuff at all. I’ve always suspected as much and I’ve always been extremely curious as to the nature of this mysterious and beautiful Source.
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<br>
Throughout the years I’ve continually poked and prodded for answers. I could not help but ask over and over; just what the hell is going on here? I’ve always studied cutting–edge physics and philosophical stuff trying to answer these very deep questions I have about the meaning of life. I pay close attention to every new archeological discovery trying to figure out what the pre-historic folks were up to. It is clear to me that pre-historic people were far superior to our society regarding spiritual matters. And it helps to have a little experience with comprehending things like quantum mechanics when dealing with the LSD realm. Everything in there is extra-dimensional, meaning there could be a completely hidden “direction” I could’ve gone into this whole time and I didn’t even know about it. Up, Down, Left, Right….then what? On LSD there are other directional planes to be used which stack on top of one another as if to spice up what I’ve already got going on with my little 3D bullshit. Once I re-created the entire Earth, then I zoomed in and when I got down close enough I could see that everything was made from sexual organs. It was all just titties and asses gyrating in unison to create everything. So I was just flying around, exploring famous parts of the Earth for about an hour while everything around me “fucked” itself into existence. This is typical LSD realm behavior. Everything turns into a big joke just so you don’t take yourself too seriously. This Source loves to have fun.
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<br>
While on LSD and listening to music, making music, making art or whatever, there is always this extra-dimensional sort of electronic chunk of play-dough through which I communicate with this great Source. The extra-dimensional play-dough object is affected by stuff you do to it and it contains “everything” within it if you can learn how to access its secrets. Terence McKenna refers to this object as the “Transcendental Object at the End of Time”, but Terence mostly talks about mushrooms, not the LSD perspective so much. In either case I interact with this object using pure thought and I learn to play it as an instrument. Except I have many hands to work with. I quickly learned that I can sort of “pluck” at these “chords” and <!-- you learn to--> manipulate the object. I get the feeling there are many hidden layers of dimensional planes within this object. I cannot help but wonder if this mysterious object should be referred to as the holy-spirit, thinking in terms of the trinity. My goal is always to think happy thoughts and avoid the bad ones because it seems that I can access some very deep places if I know the right, or wrong questions to ask. And for me it was this one simple question which led to my complete ego destruction, “How am I not world-famous?”
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“YOU ALREADY ARE FAMOUS!” God responded. I know this mysterious Source to be God, now. It was at this moment that my entire perspective on life shifted. We took a hard left as my foundation shook to my very core. A new dimensional plane was now available to me. I was given the clear option to go ahead and move along this new direction. I only needed to pluck this very special chord which was now placed before me. It was understood that this chord was profoundly important. There would be no going back and it would change everything…forever. This was very much a red/blue pill situation from The Matrix. I had poked at this Source for years to reveal its secrets and it is now responding with, “OK human, you really want to know? Put on your seatbelt and pluck that chord!”
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As I held my “finger” to that extra-dimensional chord, there was very little hesitation. I plucked the chord and it started to vibrate with a sort of deep rumbling bass feeling deep down within my extra-dimensional core. Then the vibration almost immediately slowed and dissipated to a halt, as if it affected space/time and I had just frozen time in place. This is an incredibly eerie feeling. It is as if some great machinery with star-sized gears had suddenly come to a steaming, grinding halt, and the universe creaked and settled into its new position with deep thumps. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">It is as if some great machinery with star-sized gears had suddenly come to a steaming, grinding halt, and the universe creaked and settled into its new position with deep thumps.</div></div> The silence which followed was scary.
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Meanwhile I was still thinking about my beat that I was working on and the ramifications of being the same “thing” as Dr. Dre and I realized we were both looking at this exact same object. But Andre’s body interprets this extra-dimensional signal in his own unique way. In fact, every other person on Earth tunes into this exact same signal. It is a lot of fun to say “we are all one” but when you truly get it this concept takes on a completely different meaning. This core understanding shook the very foundation of my reality and I felt something new rise up as if everything had changed forever.
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As my world fell apart I realized I had very little time. Something great and powerful was approaching. I was told to “prepare” when I felt a very real presence begin to enter that bathroom with me. The air became thick with a sort of glowing white substance that made everything in the bathroom come to life and everything blurred with new movement. My interpretation is that I was in the presence of God or the holy-spirit as the entire bathroom was consumed by this soft glow. If you had told me there was an angel or a UFO floating over my house at around 1:30 that day, I would’ve said “I know.”
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I was presented with what appeared to be a female God if there was a gender at all. I really don’t know because I never got a clear look. I picked up some very cool visuals of a womanly shape moving in the shower door glass. But on LSD I see naked women in pretty much anything I look at so who knows. I just can’t imagine being that madly in love with another man so maybe my stupid monkey brain just twists God into a female. Interestingly, the entity who I talked to for hours on mushrooms 20+ years ago seemed to be female as well. But again, I couldn’t really tell. I now suspect that as a young man I had a very long, casual, funny, and helpful conversation with God in that garage and I didn’t even realize it at the time. I don’t remember any of the specific advice given but I do recall the mushroom voice telling me; “I’m so glad you found this technology!” and the voice knew exactly when my friend was coming and that we’d have to “hang up.” The voice pleaded with me to come back “again and again” before hanging up. At the time I was still buying into a lot of the anti-drug propaganda and I took this as sort of an addiction voice that was trying to pull me into abusing this drug. But now of course I understand mushrooms to be non-addictive and I had put my faith in the wrong places.
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<br>
As God quickly approached I knew I had to get out of the shower and prepare for what I understood was going to be the ride of my life. I was not sure if I would survive. It meant leaving my body and meeting my maker. As I turned off the water my world was being pulled away and I was leaving the Earthly plane. The boundaries melted away as I sort of pushed through these layers of stretchy membranes or something. These membranes reminded me of the x, y, z, planes used as visual reference in 3D design programs. Except these were extra-dimensional planes, meaning I could not perceive them in simple 3D space with only my human body. I feel as if I always had a foot in the door in regards to my physical body. But after this point my consciousness was more elsewhere than in my own body.
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Still standing in the shower with the door open, I grabbed my towel just as I came to the increasingly horrific realization that privacy was not an option. In the world of God there are no secrets. And I suddenly realized there exists this sort of extra-dimensional photograph of everything you are made of as a human. This photograph includes your thoughts, actions, behavior, deeds, things that happened to you, it's all readily available in one picture for all to see. At the same time that I’m realizing this fact, the extra-dimensional piece of play-dough is describing to me the story of an eternal soul which is growing and progressing through many versions of itself until it emerges at the end as a god! Some of the visuals I can remember are this sort of human-like flower blooming as the dead petals fall away and the flower becomes this epic god bursting out with light. Meanwhile back in my body, I’m grabbing my towel and I suddenly realize that I AM that god! The extra-dimensional play-dough had sort of merged with me or something.
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Here in my shower I have just become fully aware that I am “One with God”, and the entire universe is at a sort of cross-roads where everyone has been waiting for me to emerge as this god! And to make matters worse, my shower walls turned into basically the biggest, most epic stadium full of people who were much smaller than I, since I was literally a giant! And to make matters just…infinitely worse, I’m still in the process of wrapping my towel around to cover up my junk from literally everyone in the universe! I was probably the most embarrassed god you could imagine. But I also thought it was really funny and it made the people smile. I then put on a very humble game-face as I overlooked my new kingdom. I didn’t know what to do with this great power so I just sort of asked myself, “OK, what dost thou command?”
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<br>
I just wanted to get out of that shower and sit down but I didn’t want to offend anyone. I was being thrown the biggest congratulations party in the history of the universe. To my great relief the womanly image in the shower door summoned me to go have a seat on the closed toilet. From the time I turned off the water, this is maybe 30 seconds. I usually avoid mirrors in general but especially on psychedelics. I exited the shower and looked into the mirror in a wild-eyed, disbelieving, already-sweaty way. I’m a very shy person and not very self-loving so this is all very strange to me. My facial expression then changed somehow to a look of confidence and I said the craziest thing without even thinking, “This is always tough with humans.” I was very surprised by that because my state of mind at the time was that of being connected to everyone and everything in the universe, I wasn’t sure who said it. I felt as if I’d been here before and that I had done this same thing countless times before. I had to explain to myself what I meant, when I spoke, sort of…
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I sat on the toilet and prepared for the next stage which I knew was going to be crazy. I was also terrified that I would be given some difficult task such as Noah’s ark or something. And I was afraid God would force me to go preach a message or do something which would make me famous. I thought about my family and what they were going to do without me, or what mess they’d be forced to deal with were I allowed to return to Earth with my crazy message.
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At this point I am clearly dying. I’m desperately trying to remind myself that I had taken only a small amount of LSD and there was no physical danger. But that was not enough to console me. I clutched my chest to check my heart rate. And nothing I’d learned from Terence McKenna, Joe Rogan, or any of the great philosophers could ever have prepared me for the actual experience of complete ego death. My body was ripped into atoms or some sort of geometric pattern which dissipated away from me. My body was completely gone and I was left as only a point of light. I was now at the complete mercy of God as trains, earthquakes and tsunamis quickly approached my position. The final layers of membrane were now being penetrated and I was now entering a different place altogether, a very holy place. The veil was now completely lifted and I could see the inner workings of the entire universe. Just as everyone says, it seems to be made of pure love. My existence was very simplified and understood here, but I don’t claim to know how everything works. There was not much I could bring back from this place. There was nothing around me and it was very bright and white. I did get some very intense imagery while in there, however. I feel like I was not in there for very long because I was so astonished at the sheer beauty of it all that my soul recoiled. I do not recall seeing any religious imagery such as crosses, Buddha or anything like that. I feel as if I wasn’t shown everything this place had to offer because I simply couldn’t handle it. I also couldn’t handle being there for too long because it would be far more difficult to leave. I had the distinct feeling that God was holding my hands, teaching me how to “walk” in this place like a small child. I was eased into things with patience and understanding.
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One thing is for sure, all of my feelings of fear and apprehension were replaced with pure bliss, joy, love, understanding, and all the good things that make up life. I was immediately, completely, and forever in awe of this place. I’m pretty sure somewhere in there I pledged my life in service of whatever this God asks of me. Immediately upon entering this new realm there were two impossibly intense feelings which brought me to my knees, crying into my towel for a little while:
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ONE - It was understood from the start that I could not stay in this place, I was to return to Earth soon, which was and STILL IS absolutely devastating.
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TWO - I was essentially told by God that “I GOT YOU”! At least that is how I interpret the whole thing if I were to sum it up in just a few words.
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I believe having this one, REALLY positive thing combined with this other, REALLY negative thing speaks to the duality of man. It seems like this duality is probably related to the yin &amp; yang. I was shown beautiful imagery of this impossibly strong love/bond which I share with God. My extra-dimensional piece of play-dough depicted images of impossibly strong materials which formed immovable structures. I could push on these structures with incredible force and they would not move. The more I push, the stronger they get. There were all of these layers of safe-like objects and steel plates slamming into place around this already-secure object as if this bond were so well-protected that nothing in the universe could ever threaten to break it. I was also given the biggest hug imaginable and I was reminded that I am deeply loved and cared for beyond my own belief. I was also extremely grateful to find out, and to be able to acknowledge the fact that God has been with me literally every step of the way. I responded with “Thank You! Thank You!” for a few minutes as I was dropped back onto my bathroom floor in a sweaty, frantic, confused, crying mess of enlightened humanity.
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I felt as if I’d received some sort of blue-belt in a crazy martial art known as the game-of-life or something. I always wanted to meet God and I got my wish. God came down and shook my hand with the most amazing, dramatic &amp; beautiful re-introduction that I could’ve ever asked for.
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I laid there on the bathroom floor struggling to make sense of it all. With my new lack of extra-dimensional, one-with-the-universe understanding. I could not find English words to even begin describing what I had just witnessed. No sentence I formed could do it justice. Also I was still sort of used to having all things possible to me. So I concentrated on a picture frame on the wall and I tried to throw it off the wall using my mind, fully expecting that it just might move. To my hilarious disappointment it did not move…no super powers this time. I was already laughing so this was a good sign. When I first returned to Earth it was weird for a few minutes. I was very paranoid, looking out of the window and listening for some huge event or anything bad that might be coming. I felt as if the world must be coming to an end or something. Why else would I be shown such incredible wonders? I actually listened for distant sonic-booms of asteroids entering the atmosphere. Or maybe I could catch the sound of some great event or home-invasion which was about to take place any minute. I felt slightly schizophrenic as well, being used to sharing my consciousness with another entity. I asked out loud twice; “Is anyone there?!”
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Satisfied that the world would continue and that I was going to be OK after all, I just laid on my back for a few hours trying to burn every detail of my experience into my memory. I desperately tried to remember all of the little details that happened to me in such a short period of time. Finally at about 3:45 P.M. my wife, who just says “no” to drugs, knocks on the door to see if I’m “still alive” which is funny considering that I’d just died. By the way, this entire time my head was lying in the exact same place where my youngest daughter was born! I came stumbling out of the bathroom in my underwear extremely happy to see my wife, and I told her, “I took some LSD today and uhhhh, I think I just talked to God!” She responds with, “That’s called praying”, and I cut her off with, “NO, NO, NO!! I left my body!!” <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I told her, “I took some LSD today and uhhhh, I think I just talked to God!” She responds with, “That’s called praying”, and I cut her off with, “NO, NO, NO!! I left my body!!”</div></div> It took quite a bit of effort to form enough English words to blow her mind as we laid on the bed and I tried to explain the more important aspects of the whole thing, stopping to cry every few seconds uncontrollably as thoughts of God’s love came back to me. The feeling of not being able to stay there with God is very sad and lasting. There was no furniture moved on this day, I wanted nothing to do with my phone, TV was boring, I laid there for many hours contemplating my existence and picturing my new life with God.
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I feel as if the voice in your head is sometimes literally God, not you. It’s just filtered through your stupid monkey parts and you can’t usually tell the difference where your thoughts are actually coming from. If you’ve done some bad things and you’re wondering if you can ever be forgiven, I’d suggest you ask if you can forgive yourself because it’s the same thing. I also feel as if there exists an eternal agreement between you and God to live this life together. It might not seem like it at times, but this love/bond we share with God is completely unbreakable. This feeling of having an unyielding, I-got-you, rock-solid bond with God is enough to make me cry every time I think about it. I also get the feeling that all evil will be separated from humanity and isolated somehow; there is no room in these higher-dimensional planes for such things to exist. But that’s the reason for evil to exist in the first place here in the lower planes. We’re removed from the perfection of heaven and we are shown a place where evil can be studied and understood first-hand, safely. You cannot be a perfected eternal soul, truly understand all things, and “be good” without first experiencing the lowest depths of evil. We have eyes and ears to witness these atrocities happening around us and our job is to have fun, learn, spread the light, hold down your people, watch your step, and report back. Our life experiences are put into the bucket with everyone else’s combined experiences until the bucket is full. Then it’s party time when the job is done.
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I was able to confirm a lot of my suspicions about the nature of my existence. I’ve always relied on my own thoughts and intuition (God, as it turns out) to form my world view, I think I’ve been pretty close in how I’ve viewed things overall. On the surface this probably made me look like a crazy person, or complete asshole at times. I refused to believe what anyone was trying to sell me. I’ve never followed social norms, and you won’t catch me in anything resembling a cult for very long. Hey, it may have seemed harsh at times to many people but whenever I found myself in a situation which I felt was in violation of my very mysterious gut-feeling “code” in some weird unexplained way, I’ve never had a problem with making an awkward comment/exit to save my soul from corruption. I’ve accumulated plenty of side-ways looks living my life this way. But I’ll take that over the alternative which is compromising my truth. Nobody could ever tell me shit and I think even less-so now that I know exactly what I am. (Reference my ‘song’ at the end). It just sucks that I have to learn everything the hard way, doing it this way.
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It turns out my problem was that I didn’t recognize this permanent connection with God and I tried to deny it for a long time. My reward was deep depression and other struggles because I had a giant hole where God should fit in. Jim Carrey said, “Depression is your avatar telling you it’s tired of being the character you are trying to play.” I cannot disagree because my depression seems to have improved since I stopped acting like the person I thought people expected to see, 4 years ago <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">my depression seems to have improved since I stopped acting like the person I thought people expected to see, 4 years ago</div></div>. I’ve always tried to do good in my own stupid way but it wasn’t always enough. I was always completely put-off by organized religions, exploiting decent people and misleading the masses for their own unholy purposes. Of course not all experiences are negative but who can say these days what is true and what is false? Eventually I learned there is actually a lot of truth to things I’d heard about The Bible and other texts. Obviously The Bible contradicts itself and no human text is perfect, but it seems to be a more recent version of an older story based on real things. For me this realization came from watching Randall Carlson explain how the great flood actually did happen. It was the scientific proof of that flood which shifted my opinion of The Bible entirely. Also Graham Hancock does a wonderful job of filling in some of the blanks in regards to what life must’ve been like for pre-historic people at the time of the comet/flood 12,800 years ago. They were far more advanced than we’ve given them credit for. Re-discovering what humanity has lost should be our main priority.
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Coincidence? Just a few months ago I decided to go ahead and start reading The Bible beginning with The New Testament. So far I’ve made it through Mathew, Mark and Luke. Interestingly, at my dad’s deathbed I was surprised to learn that he was actually religious. I had no idea, he had never mentioned anything to me about it my whole life. I wanted to take advantage of this strange dynamic and my goal was originally to offer myself as an experiment to the world by avoiding religion until now, then applying religion to a clean-slate modern mind. I feel as if I have reached a good enough base of knowledge in regards to understand what we know as a modern society. I’ve approached The Bible with a sort of suspended disbelief as if it very well could be 100% legit. I wanted to see how it all ties in with everything I’ve learned so far about ancient civilizations, UFOs, modern science and everything else. The Bible has really interesting stuff in it so I was going to keep reading it anyway. But now that God has literally stopped by to say hi, just as I’m applying The Bible to my very deep questions about life and reality, I feel as if I should probably finish reading it even if I do not believe all of it. I’m pretty sure the moral of that little story is that if you are truly seeking, you will find God. I also want to check out the rest of the religions more in-depth. I always felt like Buddhism was probably pretty close to explaining our true reality and I can’t wait to find out!
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Those guys were at least open about their use of psychedelics. Unlike the Greeks who tried to keep it to just a few elite folks at the top. Or worse yet psychedelics have been all but erased from modern western religions. You can only find traces of mushroom use within Christmas imagery and older stuff. Researchers found traces of psilocybin mushrooms and THC in the censers used by early Christian priests to burn in the church isles, right near the holy land. They used to get high as fuck in those churches! What happened? Why have we allowed control-freaks to deny us something so special and essential? It makes sense to use psychedelics. These substances work far faster than sitting under a tree for a few months or starving yourself in order to access the same places.
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I finally started taking better care of my body and learning to respect myself so that I could respect others. This is all 100% thanks to my first LSD experience which was also amazing. I dedicated my life to learning and growing better. I believe I’m now being rewarded for my efforts. I’ve always tried to figure out the answers to the biggest and deepest questions I can possibly think to ask, but way more so now than ever before. It’s funny because during my very first LSD experience I saw myself having all of these answers and I saw myself writing this very text. I also “felt” the support and non-judgmental feelings that I’m getting from my family in response to all of this, right now. I could not believe it to be possible 4 years ago. There was no way I was going to write down my deepest thoughts and allow other people to read them. I was so far removed from who I am right now that it felt impossible, yet here it exists.
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I heard once that in the world of Shakespeare “to die” was a euphemism for “orgasm”. In my experience this seems like a valid assessment except dying is way better. <!-- I’d recommend dying for everyone! -->I want to do a good job here on Earth and finish my part of course but secretly I’ve always looked forward to death and now I understand why. I believe I now have some extra appreciation for what a gift life really is. I’m only about half-way through if I’m lucky. Of course I hope death doesn’t hurt too much, but now I know what to expect when crossing over. I’ll be dying with a smile on my face.
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<!-- As far as I can tell, this world seems to be made of pure thought. We seem to be in some sort of 4-dimensional (x, y, z, time) holographic projection which is constrained within this box made of the inter-dimensional membranes. The membranes (or lack of access to all of their dimensions) prevent us from seeing what exists outside of this box and it limits us to using only 4 of the available dimensions plus whatever our brain can access via 3rd eye communication. (Reference Isaiah 6:9, Mark 4:12, Luke 8:9) Every point in space is a pixel just like on a TV screen but the points are in 3D positions instead of just 2D. And the pixels are impossibly close together (reference string theory). Just as a human would draw 2D cartoon pictures to be displayed as a 2D representation of the 3D world as we know it…God draws a 3D picture which is projected into this membrane box. And being “made in God’s image” means we’re just a dumbed-down basic 3D image of how we would normally exist within higher-dimensional planes, with extra arms and whatnot. And just as Daffy Duck gets his ass kicked and never dies, you don’t ever really die either. Other than that all I can say is that we’re in very good hands.
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-->My epic Saturday actually ended on Sunday. I probably fell asleep around 3:00 A.M. in a puddle of tears. And here is one of the coolest parts! This is a gift to last me a lifetime. For the past 13+ hours I had one specific song and one song alone, burned into the background of my thoughts as the day unfolded after my death. I had parts of the song running on constant repeat with just a few lyrics which I would occasionally remember. I realized that as soon as my soul returned to Earth my brain was struggling to grasp at anything to help remember my experience. Apparently this one song is the closest Earthly example I’m left with to represent the overall tone of my experience. My brain absolutely refused to let go of this song and I finally played it a few times late at night, taking it as a sign. The beat in this song is not unlike the beat which I was working on when this whole thing started. But more surprising to me is just how this song does not do a terrible job of sort of… putting into perspective… (Of course!!! Of Course the song pops onto my stereo at this exact time of typing, on a random playlist!!)… Anyway (sigh!), do you see what I mean about God having such a great sense of humor?!? I can’t make this stuff up. Is this NOT a sign that my writing this text is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing right now? Anyway, I was talking about how this song does not do a terrible job of summing up my current state of mind…Which currently is blown away once again, damn…The song ends with the Artist saying “I’m Gone” and he dies. I’m now at a loss for words<!-- but I invite you to please check out the song-->!
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2012 Album: R.A.P. Music
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Artist: Killer Mike
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Song: “Untitled” (Feat. Scar)
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“If you don’t have a plan, you become part of someone else’s plan!”
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-Terence McKenna<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2021</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115389</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 43</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 1, 2021</td><td>Views: 490</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=115389&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=115389&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Alone (16), Depression (15), Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0,25 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/alprazolam/">Pharms - Alprazolam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 3:13</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">vaporized</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dmt/">DMT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:25</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">Repeated </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">vaporized</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">70 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Endless hills and melting signposts cloud over this come-up, acid-dipped memories of last summers half-baked foray into an entheogenic nightmare. I can feel my insides, every inch - stomach flips, tremors they come with the territory but what I'm feeling is something else. Something existential. A mistake?
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I glance up, desperately searching for another thought and that's when it hits me ... I'm in the trip, I have been for sometime. Panic sets in, I can barely see, the visuals are so intense - a whole multi-verse projected onto the ceiling and I can hear the walls whispering. I attempt to reset; reconfigure; recollect, send my mind back to the distant beginning. How did we get here? How long since we dosed?
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Six tabs - Hofmann blotters - three for me, three for my brother and a sprinkle of Alprazolam to take the edge off. Movies, music, fisheye vision and then, all of a sudden, a breach in the collective cool: we left the apartment. How did I forget that? Sudden flashes of Kubrickian hallways and hyperdimensional staircases flood my vision but something's missing, something important ... my psychedelic co-pilot!
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And, eerily on cue, he emerges, alive and well, from what appears to be a bathroom in this spacefaring bedsit. We embrace, it's been so long but idle chit-chat can wait as I soon learn there are more pressing matters at hand. Hysterical, he waves the DMT in my face, babbling all kinds of nonsense about peaks and troughs but he made one thing abundantly clear "it's time to meet the elves". I drop my self-remembering exercise and pick up the vape pen.
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One. Clean. Hit. Almost immediately reality drops its facade; a place once familiar now completely alien, the geography is all wrong, I feel upside down. Mentally, I'm even more lost than I was before - not only do I not know what I'm doing, I don't know where I am, how I am, or even who I am. "This is intense", the echo of my brother's commentary grounds me for a fleeting moment and we silently acknowledge that we are, in fact, in the same trip.
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Another hit and this is where things start to get weird. Mayan hieroglyphs imprint themselves on the air around me, these yellow-orange wheels of complex information flicking on and off, on and off. I close my eyes and fall deep into kaleidoscopic madness; ancient cities built before my very eyes as I sit on the edge of the universe in conversation with beings made out of mandalas, awe and wonder have officially taken over. At one point I must've opened my eyes, though I didn't realize it; a seamless transition unless, of course, they were never shut. The hieroglyphs, now even more pronounced, have my undivided attention and suddenly a booming voice from above instructs me to inhale two more hits - that voice, in retrospect, was not God but rather my, equally high, brother.
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These hits were not smooth, a lot of coughing and wheezing followed but that accidentally lead to a remarkable discovery. The hieroglyphics responded to frequency and thus I figured if I could just find the right vibration, they'd decrypt themselves. So, like Dennis McKenna in La Chorrera, I begin chanting and humming as loud as I could, the air buzzed with anticipation and, within a blink, I hit the note. Instantaneously, not only were the hieroglyphics as clear as day but I'd unintentionally shepherded the entire DMT trip into 'reality', too - briefly, in that room, man and myth blended as one. Focusing proved far too difficult and overwhelming, I could hardly move, frozen still as a temporary portal for the ineffable.
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After about twenty minutes, things began to calm down and I found myself in the hallway alongside my brother both of us determined to go for walk. A curious thought crept up on me, I initially dismissed it but it just kept nagging at me until I finally listened "you've been here before" and, it was right, I had. I'd walked these very corridors, these staircases in the same manner as I was walking them right now. How did we get here? My stomach dropped ... it's a loop. Not a thought loop, a time loop, I've fallen through time and I'm reliving what I missed. Where am I? Really? Did we even leave the apartment?
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Time jump. I'm smoking THC, wandering through the empty streets. I try to remember the route we came but I can't and the idea that we never left the apartment is becoming more and more appealing. Another jump, traffic lights now, still smoking, we're in the city centre, I think? but on closer analysis, all the store signs appear to be written in Sanskrit. My brother seems to know where he's going but I don't, I grab onto him half believing the ground is about to swallow me up and I ask "how long have we been walking?"... "about an hour". I've never felt terror like that before in my life. Blank spots in my memory, no idea where I was, and time felt more like a construct than ever.
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Sensing trouble, my brother ushers me back into his apartment, locks the door, and puts me to bed. It felt like the trip was endless, that I'd always been in it. I'd almost forgotten what it was like to be in a more limited headspace. I rest my eyes and, for a brief second, I go astral before passing out completely.
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I wake up six hours later with an aching head and even more questions. I must be honest, as I write this I don't feel as if I've fully recovered from the effects of my experience last night, which feels both radically profound and utterly pointless. I wish I could say that I learnt something but I really don't know if I did.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2020</td><td width="90">ExpID: 114961</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 23</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 3, 2021</td><td>Views: 1,087</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=114961&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=114961&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), DMT (18), Pharms - Alprazolam (98), Cannabis (1) : Various (28), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2.25 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">67 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
An Awsome Trip
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I did LSD a few times before, and last summer I decided that I would do a little experiment and take my highest dose yet. I wanted to check out what this sometimes weird and strange stuff would do when I took it up a notch. And boy, was I in for a party...
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My experiences on acid were all on psytrance festivals, a hippy subculture way of partying with awesome progressive psytrance and superb chillout music. I dunno, I just love the atmosphere at those parties, and after being introduced to it about eight years ago I stopped going to all electonic music festivals except psytrance festivals. I go to about two/three of those a year.
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Last summer I went to S.U.N. festival in Hungary. It was the first time this festival was organised, and I was excited to be part of it. Since all my friends were unable to go I went there alone, which was nice because I had never done that before. A little bit worried that I would be by myself for the next ten days, I went over there four days early, had an easy plain-train-hitchhike journey and immediately fell into a group of about ten people who'd also come early. I stayed and camped with them whole festival. They were very, very nice people, and although I know I will likely never meet most of them again, I am glad I did meet them there. We had a nice and cosy camp in the forest, cooked dinner at our campfire and generally had a lot of fun, good talks and chillum sessions. The festival site was great, with a lot of nature and just the right amount of added decoration. The people (and I met a LOT of people in those few days) were all very nice and friendly. The dancefloor at the festival was amazing too, although I found the music a bit dissapointing, until that Saturday evening that I will never forget.
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I had done LSD three days before at the first day of the festival, starting cautious with just three quarters of a tab. It was nice, a feeling I'd had before, added visuals that were beautiful but not too distracting, and I was glad it was not too intense.
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But this night I was going to go all in. I took two whole and one quarter of a tab, and my oh my, that was awesome! I remember hitting the dancefloor with some of my new friends and just dancing perfectly, with perfect control over my entire body, not tiring at all, and enjoying it immensely. I was literally jumping all over the dancefloor for more than an hour without ever bumping in to someone. The energy I felt in my body was just amazing. I was aware of the fact that my senses were being influenced by the acid, with the music sounding more intense than normal and the lights and people almost radiating with light around me.
<br>
<br>
After a while I started thinking that all that intense dancing couldn't be good in the long run and I decided to go for a walk and get some food or a drink. I just went on a stroll around the festival site, enjoying the people and atmosphere. I got to the chillout dancefloor and was immediately in awe of the performance of the people on stage. The band playing (I later learned) was Ancient Core, and though I had never heard their music I was immediately entranced by it. I remember dancing right in front of the small dancefloor, enjoying the fantastic tribalistic psychedelic music that those four people on stage were producing. The guys on stage were visibly having a good time too, the were connected to each other and sending out very good vibes. I closed my eyes while dancing and automatically started to visualise the most intense forms and movements, kinda abstract, like an Escher painting of arrows that locked into each other and pulsated in sync with the bassline of the music. It was beautiful, the forms and movements kept on changing and evolving. I think I danced like that for a couple of tracks, enjoying it immensely, when suddenly I was tapped on the shoulder by a couple of friends of mine that were also on the festival. I remember talking to them and one of them being so funny somehow that in a minute we were literally rolling on the floor laughing. I remember having a lot of fun with these guys the rest of the night, although the middle part of the night is a little vague to be honest.
<br>
<br>
When the sun started to rise the next day I was on the main floor when I suddenly saw all the people around me transform into almost monsters. I wasn't scared but remember it feeling not so good after a while <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I suddenly saw all the people around me transform into almost monsters. I wasn't scared but remember it feeling not so good after a while</div></div>, so I left to just stroll around and enjoying the fantastic visual 'enhancements' this drug brought to everything I saw, except the people, people looked strange to me, almost animal like. I think it was around 10am when I started feeling tired, and went back to our little camp to find a friend sitting at the campfire. I talked to him for a while, fell asleep and when I woke a couple of hours later the visual side of the effects was totally gone. I still felt some effects of it in my head but they were mild. All in all the experience was very intense, at times amazing and at times uncomfortable, though I was never scared.
<br>
<br>
The next day I ran into the guys from the band I saw playing in my trip, Ancient Core, so I told them about my experience at their gig and they gave me one of their demo CDs, which I kinda wondered about if it would still sound as amazing or that maybe part of it was caused by the acid. (Luckily I found out when I was home their music just IS amazing, whether or not I'm on something while listening to it:) I remember needing a couple of days to just process what had happened in the acid trip. It was nice to wind down for a couple of days after the festival before going home.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2013</td><td width="90">ExpID: 102881</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 36</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 4, 2021</td><td>Views: 463</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=102881&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=102881&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Festival / Lg. Crowd (24), Music Discussion (22), Glowing Experiences (4)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">25 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/">Pharmaceuticals</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">94 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) on LSD
<br>
<br>
At the time of writing/experiencing this I was 29. Since age 24 I have been diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). It was devastating, but it changed me, it explained many things in my life I was struggling with. I wanted to know more about this "curse", and as purely rational man, the only way for me was science, psychology. I started to read books about narcissism (Jacoby, Salant, Asper, Rohr, Kernberg, Kohut), about psychology in general, I studied Freud, Jung etc. and I had found a new amazing world I wanted to be a part of.
<br>
<br>
Since 19 I've been experimenting with LSD, once to two times a year, and I always felt, that there was something more in those states of mind, not just fun and carelessness with friends. So I started to experiment on my own, only with curiosity where it would it take me. And after my NPD diagnosis I felt, that it could get me deeper to my problems and wounds, and I started to believe, that it could actually somehow help me. But unfortunately, I did not find any official information on LSD (or other psychedelics) and NPD, only a brief note in (Milan Hausner - LSD), that LSD therapy was not effective for NPD. On the other hand, Grof writes, that he believes, that all psychological illnesses/disorders are caused by traumatic events during human development, and all can be dealt with later in life and all can be finally resolved. Well, that is not much certainty to begin with, but there is hope. I hope, that this trip-report could be at least an information source for other NPD truth seekers.
<br>
<br>
9.7.2020
<br>
I decided that I would take a dose a few days before the actual trip, so it was quite spontaneous. The intention was only to try erotic tantra massage on small dose of 25ug.
<br>
<br>
14:00 25ug
<br>
I took 25 ug at 14:00 and went for the massage, hit came at 15:00 and it was pleasant warm feeling in gut, I felt quite ok and I was enjoying the massage, however a little anxiety poured in. Plan was to use only this dose and just chill after the massage, but on my way home I decided to take more. However a quite strong headache settled in on my way home, which was quite no-go for another dose, but I wanted it anyway. I unpack the stuff and holding the blotter in hand I had a really bad feeling about that, I felt that I definitely should not take more. I was tired, had a strong headache, was anxious, but I did it. I put 100ug blotter under my tongue and regretted it immediately. I told my self I should not have done that, but I was not able to spit it out. The same force that was telling me NO was also telling me YES. I yield, thinking, let's see what happens.
<br>
<br>
16:00 100ug
<br>
I also took a painkiller for my headache and laid in bed. I was just relaxing until the hit at 16:50. This was quite standard hit, everything was more colorful, walls were "breathing", I was clumsy and whimsical. I sat down and looked down to the floor. Wow, all hallucinations and visions, that I know so well from my other trips, were there. I saw human bodies and faces, all moving and changing. Why these visions again I was asking myself. Then two faces appeared, those were angry, terrifying,threatening. I was frightened and had to look away, as I did that, I noticed that all edges (edges of furniture etc.) got extremely highlighted, all edges were like zigzag lightnings. I froze in awe, those were my psychological defenses as Grof described them in his books. But what are they trying to protect me from? I looked back to those angry faces and got frightened again. Like a small child I ran to my bed and cover myself under blanket, but kept watching the visions on ceilings. Those faces were everywhere. I was scared, I felt that an emotion needed to get out of me, but I could not handle fear and anxiety. What now? The grief. I was able to bear intense grief, so I thought if emotion needed out, let it be grief and I started thinking of anything, that would made me cry. And this simple thought started an avalanche of thoughts:
<br>
<br>
I realized that for a past few months, my life bore no meaning to me, I felt empty, hollow. No activity fulfilled me and a thought came to me, that if I died, it would not really matter that much. And this thought made me sad, why was I thinking like that? And what would make sense, what would bring meaning to my life? Then a vision came to me, it was a vision I had a month ago, a vision of me being with a unknown woman in a nice house with a garden. In that vision we were happy together and were caring about each other. Light warm feeling flooded my gut, this was nice vision. And I thought that this could give my life a meaning - just to love someone and care for her. And I realized, that I wanted the same for me, just someone who would love me. And I started to cry. It was the strongest emotion of grief and pain I have ever experienced. Why does it hurt so much? Such a simple idea? I was crying and repeating to myself, that I just wanted someone to love me. For a while I did not feel as human, nor child as before, I felt as a tiny bacteria, a little microscopic organism in the middle of vast evil and terrifying world, and the only thing I wanted was someone to love me.
<br>
<br>
And there were those faces again, all angry and terrifying, those were faces of my family members, parents, grandparents. I was always asking myself why do I see those faces, and why they are so evil, what did I do so wrong, that they are so bad to me, what horrifying thing had I done to deserve this? And I realized, that I had done nothing, I was just being myself (as a child) and just for that, they were so angry at me.[*1] This hurt the most. My parents, grandparents, they could not have loved me for who I really was. I collapsed in tears, I was not able to regulate it anyhow, the emotion was too strong, it was everywhere. It flooded myself totally and I just had to cry.
<br>
<br>
After a while, I calmed down and continue with this thought train. I repeated : I just want someone to love me, who could do it? Is there anyone here who could? And then it hit me, it is me, in my mind I shouted I, I, I and burst in tears again. There is no-one else in this world, that could love me unconditionally, but me. I realized, that this was the healthy self-love, healthy narcissism, to love myself unconditionally as I was, to accept my positive and also negative side, truly and honestly, accept myself as I am. Third wave of crying and sorrow started to mix with laughter, it was liberating, I was laughing at my situation, I was laughing at myself, it was such a relief. I laughed and cried and laughed and cried, until I was unbelievably relieved and totally exhausted. In a second I was sober, it was like this emotional discharge just canceled the LSD state, there was no reality distortion, no hallucinations, no visions, just calm exhausted mood, and feeling, that this was the most meaningful experience of my life.
<br>
<br>
There was also an afterglow. For at least a month after this experience, I was different. Before, I was avoiding people. After, I enjoyed contact with other people, colleagues, friends, just the contact with them was bringing me this light warm feeling. I could have just listened to them and it was making me happy. Before the experience I used to pull conversations back to me, not listening, but immediately talking about myself. I knew, that this was one of my narcissistic symptoms, and I was training not to do so. But what really surprised me was the fact, that I did not have to focus on that after the experience, I was purely and honestly interested in others, I could have just listened and it was joyful. I thought, that for the first time in my life, I was able to "see" other people, for who they really are, with acceptance and joy. Also, I realized in the following weeks, that I need to be more compassionate to myself, with knowledge, that I am so deeply wounded, I am the one who should take care of myself, to be more understanding and compassionate and not to continue with the damage, that was done by my family.
<br>
<br>
This was the most meaningful experience of my life and I do believe, that such trips are healing. However, this afterglow did not last, once again it was pulling me back. And it was also pulling me back to psychedelics. I wanted to continue on this journey and I wanted to know more about my past. I tried psilocybin. And I took too much, and I did not handle it, I think I was lucky enough not to become psychotic, but for six months after this schroom trip I was super anxious, had nightmares, insomnia, was avoidant, was unfocused, total opposite of the LSD afterglow. I just want to use this as an example, that psychedelics can also be risky, and that one has to be really careful with them. For me the problem was anxiety and fear, I was not able to submit to them,to let go, as I did to the grief on LSD. I was not in a "safe" place and I was alone. I believe that for this kind of confrontation I need a sitter. But even after this schroom "bad trip", and this one was really bad (I called it psychosis simulation), I still believe in psychedelics. I believe psychedelics can heal.
<br>
<br>
-----
<br>
[*1] I was deeply regressed, imagine a small child, two years old, imagine, that this child was playing with toys and started to throw the toys into the toilet: now, the child thinks, this is me, I am happy, it is joy for me to throw my toys into the toilet, I am happy as I am, but its parent sees this and gets really angry, yells at the child, reasons with the child, tells the child, that it is bad. Child translates this to: I am bad, when I am myself, I will not be loved if I am myself, I will rather be as you want me to be, just for you to love me. False self is created.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2020</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115681</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 29</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 5, 2021</td><td>Views: 595</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=115681&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=115681&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), General (1), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 - 3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">69 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<!-- Trip Report
<br/>
<br/>
Dosage:
<br/>
<br/>
-->1 blotter hit LSD per person. Standard blotter with a colorful design. The hit was about double that in size of what I have gotten in the past... suffice to say, extremely strong.
<br>
<br>
3 grams high grade Marijuana
<br>
<br>
It's Sunday morning and we both wake up knowing today is the day, we've been waiting a long time for this day. For me it's nothing new, I've tripped acid many a time but for my wife it's a first. For the last five years (we're both 28) we've been trying to find some to no avail, then about two weeks ago, out of the blue, finally a score. 4 hits. Hell yeah!
<br>
<br>
So we wake up and we're both a little nervous so we eat breakfast and shower to kinda calm down and relax a little. We decide we are each going to take one hit and that we can always take a second one if necessary.
<br>
<br>
At 13:51 we each take our first hit, I can taste a slight metallic taste on my tongue; hell yeah, this taste I've tasted before, a very slight taste, seems to be a strong hit! I instruct my wife (lets just call her MaryJane) to put the blotter under her tongue, after five minutes I tell her to start swishing it around her mouth and a few minutes later we started chewing it. Altogether I spent around 20 minutes sucking on the blotter.
<br>
<br>
After swallowing what was left of the paper I immediately realized that something was different, I started walking around the room making jerky movements with my arms and walking a little like a robot whilst chuckling to myself. MaryJane was sitting on the couch telling me that she felt nothing at all. I loaded a bowl and we each took two or three drags.
<br>
<br>
30 minutes into the trip is when shit hit the fan; the next 6 hours were to be the craziest, best, most compelling and beautifulest trip/session/experience I have ever had. It came and took us really quick. Normally I have like a wave that swoops me up and it's like an intense drop into the trip. This wasn't like that at all, from one second to the next we're tripping hardcore, not even really thinking about tripping. MaryJane starts telling me that she is thirsty but try as I might, I was not able to get her to drink. We both are sitting on the couch laughing uncontrollably. All of the sudden I think to myself, man we're tripping hard, but also as little sad because it seems like there’s no “spiritual” aspect to it, no connection, just a strong “superficial” kind of high. I was hoping to take my wife on an adventure... little did I know that in these terms, there was absolutely no need to be sad.
<br>
<br>
It's now 14:51 and we move from the couch to the computer desk and the next wave hits us! I am not able to see the contents of my computer screen anymore; 100% visual hallucinations. The next level. I look over to MaryJane as to make sure she's on par with me- she definitely is. I take out some markers and some paper and I start drawing. In my mind I cannot make up what to draw so I just start drawing lines, spirals and things of the sort. Whilst drawing I am in the picture, it is completely three-dimensional, way better quality than the 3d at the movie theaters. I am riding the lines as I draw them, like being on a roller coaster. The whole time my computer screen is blaring away with all kinds of crazy hallucinations. Usually when on LSD I just see the regular “world” and the things within are manipulated, even rather strongly at times. This time was different. This time I was completely hallucinating, seeing things that had no ties whatsoever to reality, coming straight out of the blue. MaryJane starts drawing with me. The whole room is moving. For some reason I am not scared, I enjoy the whole situation. I see no reason to be scared. MaryJane's picture is awesome, she used several different markers and made this never-ending spiral out of nothing but dots. Some dots were made to spell, “lost in time”.
<br>
<br>
I put some music on. A play list with some Pink Floyd and some Tool. Things seem to intensify. The music is definitely sounding different. I've known these songs for ages, there seems to be a whole different dimension to the song that’s playing. I hear a whole new voice singing, like its always been there, I've just never been able to hear it. I can also hear the regular singers voice but there is also another one, very subtle but ever so present. I'm sure this voice does really exist somewhere on the track... .. . The peak has not yet been reached.. Something is going on.. I..
<br>
<br>
We seem to be slipping. All of the sudden MaryJane (whom up until this point had been unable to move really, not even to drink. Up to this point she had been rather uninvolved.) got up and tells me it's time to go to the couch, I don't really feel like moving but being happy that she shows some sign of life I droopingly move on over to the couch. It's been about two and a half hours since we took those powerful little slips of paper. The whole room is alive and moving. Little did I know this was but the very beginning. I lay on the couch next to MaryJane, we lay there in each others arms and lose total touch with reality. I hug her and it's like I'm grabbing through her physical body and we slip into an astral plane. Stars are everywhere, aligned in a beautiful symmetry, we are engulfed with joy and delight as we fly through what seems time and space. The whole time we are together, ever so close, we both feel as we are one, it's unbelievable. Our human shells are in a total sense of trance. There are no words that can sum this feeling up. We are communicating in terms and on a level that a day seems so incomprehensible but at the time was clear as day. We are in a different dimension, flying about, totally exhilarated.
<br>
<br>
During this session and the several that followed my wife and I experienced an awesome connection and experienced things far too personal to sum up in a trip report. Suffice to say, on a personal level we managed to communicate in a unfathomable manner that simply cannot be put to words.
<br>
<br>
After about an hour I decide that I need a break, time to go “back”. Coming back proves to be quite difficult, kinda felt like I was crawling and at the same time yanking myself out of a dark tunnel. At first I could hear music- chaotic music. The music makes no sense at all, just random chords and a mish-mash of notes floating through the air. My eyes aren't open yet, that is to say I cannot see the room yet, still space. The music starts to get a little clearer and I start to see the room, I can hear my wife calling me to come back but I pull her out with me. The entire room is chaotic, the far end of the wall is like a really small square and the colors are totally random and very intense. I start to recognize the music as Pink Floyd. I tell Mary it's time to take a drag. We do. Now most times I've taken acid I didn't really feel all too much when smoking. This time was entirely different, it really really intensified things. I'm hallucinating like I never have before. We decide we had better delve back into whatever it was that we were experiencing earlier. It was kinda like laying down and going to sleep but I was definitely awake. I don't know if I had my eyes open or closed, I guess it doesn't really matter because the visuals were unbelievable. In a matter of seconds we reentered the cosmos. Like I said, it was an unbelievable experience, total ego loss, loss of being, time and space. At this point I was totally unaware of the normal world and my real surroundings, if someone sober were to have walked in I probably would not have been able to respond, I wonder what I looked like whilst in this state. We stay in there for about an hour, so many things happened, it was one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.
<br>
<br>
I start heading back to reality, bringing MaryJane along and as we enter back MaryJane starts laughing uncontrollably. This in turn makes me laugh. I have never laughed so hard and so long. The hallucinations are still going hard and I am not able to stop laughing. I look at my wife and see her grinning ear to ear and her face starts to contort, I quickly look away because I don't really like my Jane's face going all jibbery on me. We are still a laughing. I tell her the neighbors are going to call the cops on us for chronic laughter, this in turn makes us laugh even harder. I was laughing so hard that it started to get hard to get air, my stomach hurt and my eyes were tearing. I finally manage to get up and head to the kitchen to get something to drink. The whole room is still moving, nothing seems intact, walking feels weird and with the room spinning I wobble my way to the kitchen, weighing myself through cosmic mass. I manage to grab something to drink and go back to the living room. We sit there first staring at each other and then into each other. We grab hands and start to drift back into another dimension. Literally! Never before have I been on such a trip, total out of body experience, more than that, total lose of being. At first I could feel the life running through MaryJane's hand, felt like throbbing light. For another 40 minutes or so we spent just sitting there holding hands, what was going on in mind was another matter, like I said, it was like stepping into a complete different dimension. For me the strangest thing was, somewhere in the middle of it I could hear bits and pieces of the music. Complete chaos, or just a single instrument in the background, all other sounds muted out. It got kind of scary when I really couldn't see my surroundings anymore and all I could just hear was chaotic music, for a second I questioned my sanity. Then I just let go an enjoyed.
<br>
<br>
This continued for about another hour and a half or so. We kinda started coming back to ourselves at around 20:00. I turn on the TV and we decide to watch Men in black 3. Then I realized that the trip was still going strong. MaryJane asks me, “Is it always that way, do normal people see it like this too, or is it us?”. The visuals on the screen are really cool but the movies content is really bothering both of us. We go on the search for other things to do and have a nice evening. Come 11:30 things have calmed considerably and we go to bed.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2013</td><td width="90">ExpID: 100266</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 28</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 10, 2021</td><td>Views: 492</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=100266&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=100266&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Relationships (44), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">155 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<!-- Report
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December 26th- December 27th 2014
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Let's do a quick introduction, -->I'll be referring to myself as Siren, a name I use for mostly anything Internet related. It comes from my love for all things beautiful, singing and of course mermaids. I'll be referring to my best friend I dosed with as Luminescence or L. I am going to try to make this as detailed as possible so I can really capture the essence of this particular trip. Throughout I may mention two other friends ours, they did not dose this night, however we did spend a lot of time with them through out our trip and they contributed to mine whether they realize it or not, they will be referred to as M, and D.
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It was Saturday and I was leaving working later than usual, the first day after Christmas was a very busy day for the smoke shop I work in. L had messaged me asking if I wanted to hang out that night, maybe go to the park and flow, as we both are into flow arts, such as gloving, hooping, poi and staff. L is probably one of the closet people too me, we've only know each other about 3 years but over that course of this 3 years we've dated on and off, but also have become very close friends which is hard to say after you've had a romantic relationship like ours. I told L I was down to hang out but I needed a shower and to eat something, I mentioned that D, and M wanted to hang out as well so we should get ahold of them. I bolted out of work because at this point I was over dealing with impatient customers, while I was trying to count down my register. I headed home eat some food, took a shower, relaxed for a bit got dressed and headed over to L's house.
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When I got there we decided we wanted to dose, unfortunately our regular who sells to us is unavailable for quite some time. We have found someone else who can get a much higher dosage of LSD, which they refer to as needlepoint. He was out so we started looking elsewhere. I have anxiety issues, and a problem with depression. Against my doctors advice, I refuse to take prescription medication, and instead use meditation and flow arts to help me through, which in my opinion works much better for me and my life goals. Looking for LSD of course gave me some anxiety. I don't know these people all that well. What if it's bunk and we waste our money? If they rip us off we'll be disappointed and broke. We don't have a way to test it without tasting it, it could be research chemicals which will definitely sky rocket my anxiety.
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Our search wasn't going to well and I kind of figured we wouldn't be dosing which wasn't a big deal, but a friend of ours came through and said he has some so we left L's house and headed to the city to M's which was about a 20-25 minute drive. We put gas in my car, got some more money, grabbed some food and cigarettes so when we did dose we wouldn't have to get out again. I'm not totally sure if L knew that but that was my plan. After I dose I don't particularly like being in cars, I have no problem with taking walks or hikes, but the streetlights from inside a car make anxious.
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We head to the next state over, which is about a 35 minute drive, to pick up the doses which I had assumed would be on blotters. We arrive at this party and to me the vibes were weird. Not bad not good, just odd. We meet our friend and he takes us into a back hallways and he starts to bicker with someone we don't about the sketchiness of the party and is showing up then leaving. He was holding an eye dropper, which made me have a minor anxiety attack. The thing about my anxiety attacks is they can be incredibly subtle and most people don't notice, or they can be the exact opposite and I can be on the floor in a puddle sobbing. I've gotten to a point where I can coach myself out of them mentally. So L says 'are you ready to dose? Okay stick out your tongue.' And he doses me out of the dropper. That was new for me and L didn't seem to be worried about it so my anxiety disappeared. We were going to give our friend a ride somewhere so we relaxed met some people and the party and left after about 10 minutes being there. Neither one of us wanted to come up on a 35 minute car ride back to M's house.
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R is our friend who sold us the doses and his backstory is kind of a sad one, he's going through a difficult stage in his life, dealing with homelessness and friends who don't have his best interest in mind, unfortunately we didn't have a place where we could take him so we had to drop him off at his stepfathers house, who has been mistreating him to a great extent. I was selfishly worried his bad situation was going to affect our trip because the car ride to M's house was pretty quiet.
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I figured out I was coming up pretty quickly but it wasn't a normal come up. It was similar to the needlepoint come up instead of a blotter come up, which is quite different for me. I wasn't getting crazy visuals quite yet, so I assumed I wouldn't. Everything looked more real and 3D, the trees looked like an extremely high resolution Sims 4 game. Like my entire existence was in a superb role playing game that was slowing taking place under water. Extremely still, calm water. Almost like a really thin oil consistency. We got to M's house and my visuals took hold. The popcorn on the ceiling danced in geometrical patterns. The trees waved like soft spaghetti a noodles, and the carpet looked like really slow waves of water. I lied on the couch and enjoyed the visuals, contributing to conversation when my mind let me. I wasn't really thinking about much at this point just enjoying my surroundings. L, would talk about gloving but I couldn't respond intelligent but I started to feel connected to everyone in the room. I didn't need them to explain what they were trying to say. I could pick up on what they were talking about within a couple words of their sentences. I think L noticed I was having insane visuals because I closed my eyes for a minute and when I opened them he was standing above me giving me a small light show with his gloves. The burst of bright color startled me at first, but the mode he was using was painting a really intricate stream of light in my mind so I enjoyed it. I was still laying on the couch and the way he was standing didn't give him enough room to give me a good light show so he sat on me.
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As he was giving me a light show my mind began to wonder while I was watching his lights. I began to notice everything and became more aware of my surroundings. When L would shift his weight to one side of his body I could feel it inside on mine. Not in a sexual way, it was like his weight became apart of mine. L isn't overweight by any standards but the extra force began to wear on my bones but it didn't make me uncomfortable, my body just adjusted and started to support his weight along with me. My bones still hurt but it didn't bother me which made me question if my body always does that and I've never noticed. Does his body do that when I sit on him? Does everyone do it? Was it just part of the trip? We're our energies connecting differently that usual? I'm still not sure because my mind wandered somewhere else. He finished a awesome light show, turned on a lamp and I sat up so I can participate in conversation.
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It was about an hour, hour and half after we dosed when something I call dual visuals started to happen. I don't know if this happens to other people or not but what it is, is my eyes are open and the visuals in the outside world, like the ceiling, the trees and carpet continue but if I change my focus to mind with me eyes still open I have visuals in my mind at the same time. So I see patterns on the ceilings while my mind makes an extreme music video. We were listening to the eden project, or skrux, I don't remember which was first. I sunk back into the couch and sunk into my mind. My body began to feel like bright yellow and white light, the ceiling began to dance to the beat of our music, my mind was going to odd places. When I get this deep into a trip recessed memories from my childhood play a big part and I can relive them. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">When I get this deep into a trip recessed memories from my childhood play a big part and I can relive them.</div></div> I can smell, see, feel and hear my memories with no other stimulation but my mind. L and M were talking, but I couldn't make out what they were saying unless I focused on them but I was far into my trip at this point which I think was the high point of my peak. L turned off the light and laid on the floor. I don't know how much time passed as we both laid in our own worlds but I don't think a lot did. I became even more aware of my surroundings. I could feel the weight shift of the floor if L moved, but M seemed to not play such an impact my senses. It was almost like he was completely still. I couldn't feel him breathe or move on the couch, almost like he wasn't even there even though he was sitting on the other end of the couch.
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Some time passed and my mind wandered back into the apartment. I sat up and decided I wanted a cigarette but it took me some time because I could feel hold cold the apartment was and it chilled my bones. Finally L and I smoked a cigarette and also decided to smoke a bowl. After the high kicked in I was much more talkative and could actually use my cell phone again. Our friend D was still awake and wanted to come over. M was upset with D but decided to let him come over anyway. D lives 3 apartment buildings over so he was there within 5 minutes.
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D walked in and the energy shifted. D had a few beers prior to coming over so he was a bit tipsy so he was trying to play proper and have intelligent conversation but L and I were too goofy and I had a mad case of the giggles so it slowly shifted into funny conversation. <!-- I come from a performing background and we debated the origin of the sharp/pound symbol/hashtag. L was sitting next to me on the couch and D was sitting next to the sliding glass door. While D and I playfully debated the origin of music and the telephone and the correlation between the sharp L stayed quiet, giggling here or there. Finally I stopped the debate with ' no, music was before the telephone' and D sarcastically said 'of course that's why there's touch TONES' and something else along those lines which made me see how hard I was actually tripping.--> After this communication became hard on my end. I could understand what everyone was saying on the surface and the meaning behind it. I'll list a couple examples. L and D switched spots and L was playing with his gloves kind of isolated and he said something under his breath kind of directed to me I think, he was doing whips and flails, a style of gloving but said 'tech just isn't fun anymore' which to an outsider wouldn't have made sense since he wasn't gloving that way but to me I saw how much fun he was having doing whips and flails and how easy he was flowing and jamming to the music. Right before he said 'tech wasn't fun' I saw it in his mind, meaning I saw the realization in his eyes, and his body language. It felt like I could understand what he was thinking without him even saying anything but I couldn't explain myself to him. My responses came out choppy and not thought through. I felt like I was portraying disinterest and what he was telling me wasn't important to me, which wasn't true. But I was caught up in reading unspoken language my senses were overloaded and I couldn't respond right, so I let off.
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D and I were discussing Taylor Swift who I'm not a giant fan of, but damn her music is catchy. We went back and forth be cause I admitting her music was catchy. D chastised me for thinking so but muttered her song lyrics 'I love the game' under his breath which to me connected more dots to his life. I could see life from his point of view and his actions, right or wrong made sense because I could see where they were coming from. He treats every day life as a game and he will play both sides. I've noticed this before but I had never had a name for it until then. I could sense the deeper meaning behind everything anyone was saying but it didn't have an effect on me, I wasn't reading into things so I could have an opinion. I was reading into things so I could understand. I've always had good intuition but it was remarkable that night. I asked D if he wanted to use my hula hoop because I was locked on the couch so L turned off the lights, and gave himself a lightshow in the mirror while D hooped and I sat on the couch and watched. It was really pleasing to watch because I could see both of their playful, happy energies come out while they were doing something they loved. A tinge of me wanted to join the fun and hoop too but I was enjoying watching them more. D had been drinking so he kept knocking stuff over so we decided to all sit on the couch and hang again and laughed about our daily lives.
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It was about 2:30am at this point and things were starting to wind down. <!-- I'm not sure what D said but it set M off who was mostly quiet for the night and he stated cleaning up and said he was going to bed. A quick backstory to D and M friendship: M has had a small crush on D for awhile but he doesn't act on it because the feelings aren't returned. D doesn't realize that his actions that upset M isn't because M has feelings for him, but it's because D acts on animosity and doesn't have a defined respect for M, he doesn't take M seriously and can be quite disrespectful, but assumes M will just take it. If M tries to defend himself M becomes the bad guy in Ds eyes. D decides to leave and as he's getting his things together I start to notice something I've noticed in other trips. Synchronicity. D starts to leave, and notices he can't find his keys, he's looking all over for them and M says 'they're attached to you, like always' D looks at me I can feel what he's thinking, but he tries to brush it off and says ' well they're usually on my right side' I make a comment about his empty beer can and he says' I almost forgot my beer' missing my point so L jokingly calls him out on it' we have a few laughs and D leaves. M has calmed down at this point and decides to stay up and chat with L and I for awhile. Even though M says he was mad because D burned his table I picked up on that it was D'a blatant disrespect for M.--> We chat for awhile then M decides to go to bed. L and I decided to lay down and watch tv, I have my head laying on his torso close to his hip and we're watching tv. A commercial came on, we're two people were trying to guess each other's favorite food, the women's was sushi and the mans was ribs which was funny because those are our favorite food. This wasn't the first time where we've been watching tv and the show or commercial correlated with my life or our life and I'm assuming I'm seeing them for a reason. I'm working on figuring out what that means. As we're watching tv L tries to be sexy and turn me on but, it's just funny because social interaction is odd on LSD and I just can't take him seriously. He notices and we both start laughing and agree that neither one of us are very good at initiating sex and we laugh some more, as I give him a blow job it's interrupted with laughter because there is no way to be sexy after that. It was comforting to know that we both agree we are bad at things and didn't feel as socially awkward as I usually do when I'm on LSD. Even though our communication was limited I still could understand.
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I felt very connected to my friends and my surroundings throughout my trip and it taught me really how to see things from an unbiased 3rd party. We eventually fell asleep and went about day, we all had to work the next day.<!-- and while I was there I messaged L and told him I had to work a double, he responded with me 'so do I' it was odd bit kinda cool that our days were running parallel. We talked hear in there through out the day and finally I was done with my shift and was able to go home and rest--><!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2014</td><td width="90">ExpID: 105210</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 22, 2021</td><td>Views: 410</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=105210&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=105210&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Relationships (44), Depression (15), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">175 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
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<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">25 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/4_ho_met/">4-HO-MET</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">70 kg</td>
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</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
INTRODUCTION
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Last week I tripped on a combo of 4-ho-met and acid. I had done this two times prior to this (but with lower doses) and always had amazing results. This time was different thoough, this experience was so special to me that I almost feel obligated to write a report (which I never do). The location was at a really nice lake in the forest in Italy (South Tyrol). I was with 3 good friends, one remained sober as a tripsitter. The goal of the trip was really just having a good time, last trip was 4 months ago. My highest acid dose up to this point was 350ug, highest 4-ho-met dose 45mg.
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THE TRIP
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t-00:00 We drop the acid, it is currently 10am, and we just arrived at the hiking trail. We are all excited since we didn't see each other in a long time. The sun is shining, and the temperature is just perfect. We enjoy the beautiful nature and there are wonderful vibes.
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t-01:00 We arrived at the lake and set up our hammocks. I'm starting to feel the acid creeping in, so I drop the 4-ho-met. A little comeup anxiety, but that's nothing out of the ordinary for me.
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t-01:30 coming up hard now. The bodyload is coming on strong too and as I lay down and look up to the sky I start seeing the first visuals.
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t-02:30 the last hour was a slow but uncomfortable comeup. Did not really feel clean up to this point. We decided to take a walk around the lake, we really chose a good place for this trip.
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t-02:45 BAM! It hit me like a ton of bricks and the peak is here. Insane visuals, very complex and lots of variety. Me and my friend who took the same dose kind of lost the ability to talk, so we just enjoyed the walk and laughed a lot:). I have to say that the peak of this experience was not that clean, there was more confusion than with 350ug of acid and there were more side effects like temperature regulation issues and a bit of nausea which I usually don't get on psychedelics.
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t-03:30 After we returned to our spot, we listened to some chill music, at first we tried some forest psytrance, but we found that a bit too hectic, so we switched to tipper and psychill which calmed us down a bit. We didn't expect it to be this strong but hey, that doesn't have to be a bad thing ;).
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At this point, the visuals were out of this world. They weren't that strong, but the variety was what made it so special. The tryptamine and the lysergamide melted into one amazing, beautiful experience. The closed eye visuals were what impressed me the most. I had full on 3-Dimensional geometric and very complex CEV's which I only ever got from DMT before.
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t-04:30 It's currently 14:30 and now the peak is slowly starting to fade away as we can talk again (even though it is pretty difficult). Up through this point the headspace was pretty wild, now it seemed to calm down. We were just having a good time smoking some CBD and ciggies, talking about deep topics and the world we live in. Another amazing thing was the music enhancement: It was out of this world, never got anything similar from just one of the two.
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t-06:30 Now the peak is over and we are in heaven. This combo is REALLY euphoric. We put on some dark forest psytrance. The music seemed like the visuals translated into sound and dancing felt sooo good. Almost comparable to mdma euphoria. The visuals were still in full force. I think this is where this combo really shined. From here on out, I didn't get any side effects anymore, just a really clean and amazing trip. The chaotic headspace died down a lot too and we were left just feeling amazing and fresh.
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t-08:30 We were sitting by the lake smoking some weed and looking at the water. This combo just has a really special, amazing euphoric feeling to it. If it weren't for the peak, I would make it my go-to for parties.
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At this point I was in a really calm state of mind, just feeling really balanced mentally. Euphoria was still strong, and we never got tired of talking. It was a really nice bonding session for us. Effects are gradually getting weaker tho, but really slowly.
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t-10:30 As the sun was setting, we started our journey back to the car. The walk back was a real adventure, visually it was still mind-blowing since the weed boosted it again, they persisted until I went to sleep.
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t-11:45 We go to our local pizzeria and eat something, since during the trip I was not hungry at all. Tasted great:)
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CONCLUSION
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This really was an amazing, if not the best trip I ever had. Visually this was really remarkable since I saw things that I thought weren't even possible from acid/4-ho-met. I also got a really nice afterglow from it and didn't feel exhausted the next day at all. Sorry for my grammar mistakes, but English is not my first language
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<!-- **I highly recommend this combo to anyone, it really is worth trying.**--><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2021</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115782</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 28, 2021</td><td>Views: 1,098</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=115782&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=115782&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">4-HO-MET (436), LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Glowing Experiences (4), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">90 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Set/Setting
<br>
<br>
I had a some acid – a drop on a rizla paper – that had been given to me by a friend and had been lying around in a bag for a few weeks. I kept thinking about it and wondering when would be the right time to take it.
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<br>
My life is in the middle of lots of transition at the moment: over the past 6 or so months, I have quit a job, left the flat I was living in and, following a three-year relationship breakdown, gone traveling in Asia for three months, only to return to London and fall into a limbo before finally accepting the decision (that I had made previously) to leave and move to another city. For the past week, I've been staying in the flat of two friends in Bristol. They were both away for a few days, so I had the flat to myself. I had been feeling the urge to do some psychedelics for a while, and this looked like the opportunity I had been waiting for. Despite all the fluctuations, I have been feeling as though the things I am putting into place at the moment are positive, and so felt that now might be a good time to put down a psychedelic 'marker'. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I have been feeling as though the things I am putting into place at the moment are positive, and so felt that now might be a good time to put down a psychedelic 'marker'.</div></div>
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<br>
T+0: I took the tab at around 9 in the evening. Throughout the evening, I had been unsure if I was actually going to take it, wondering if it was the right moment. But as with all things, sometimes the decision has already been taken and it is just a question of accepting it. I did go into the experience with a certain amount of nervous energy, however.
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<br>
T+1.00: I spent half an hour or so tidying kitchen, making the room I was staying in comfortable, and assembling playlists, as my main intention for the night was to listen to music and 'climb inside it' as I had on previous LSD experiences. I began to feel the first effects an hour or so afterwards: the usual first tingles of excitement, as well as a sensation that the usual waking hour activities, such as a operating a phone, were becoming slightly more difficult to do (as well as being less necessary).
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<br>
T+2.30: It was as I was sitting in my room that the first visual effects began to make themselves felt. Things around me were beginning to flicker and fluctuate. I should mention that at this point I had started watching a film – Holy Motors – a very strange film in which a man being driven around Paris in a white stretch limo takes on various guises, including an old beggar woman, an assassin, a dying millionaire etc. It made sense for a while, before the themes of body transformations began to get a bit too strange to deal with. With hindsight, this was not best way to start the trip, as some of the logic of the film probably seeped into my acid-soaked consciousness at that point.<!-- For instance, there was a scene in which the man – at this point a stuntman/dancer in the CGI sequence of a film – does a weird sexually-charged and contorted dance with a female dancer in a red rubber catsuit. At the end of the scene, both of them turn into dragon/demon creatures tussling with each other.-->
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<br>
T+3-4.00: The visual effects peaked at this point, I had long switched off the film as it had become incomprehensible, and was listening to music on headphones instead. At their most intense, the open-eye visuals manifested in a rippling sensation across all surfaces of the room, the boundaries between various physical objects began to dissolve completely, as did those between myself and the room, so that the bed, the chair, the walls, the desk, myself, were all beginning to morph into a continuous 'block' of energy of some kind, in which everything was rippling and vibrating.
<br>
<br>
Closed-eye visuals: there were several themes throughout tonight but I will try and describe the most noticeable:
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<br>
Feminine/sexual energy: A recurring theme when I take psychedelics is a very strong connection to what I perceive as an extremely strong feminine energy. Sometimes this manifested itself in a overtly sexual manner: women's bodies as effortlessly fluid, pulsing entities, in tune with music. At other points it was just a closer connection with the feminine within me: at one point I visualized a female person, almost my female equivalent sitting where I was, headphones on, smoking a weed pipe and blowing smoke out the window. At certain points, I was experiencing what I can only describe as a form of ecstatic sexual energy, a warm and intense feeling in which I visualized some of the women I had felt connections with throughout my life. One woman, who I had met while traveling, kept reemerging throughout the experience. Sex has been lurking at the back of my mind for a while, as my sex life has almost entirely disappeared over the last few months. There was also a sensation of craving physical and emotional connection. I wonder whether this sensation of intense feminine energy coincides with the Hindu notion of Shakti, as the cosmic/divine female energy.
<br>
<br>
A day or two after the trip, I remember discussing with a male friend the differences between psychedelics and cocaine. We both felt that cocaine, as a more ego-focused drug, was in some way very much a 'male' drug, whereas psychedelics, with their boundary-dissolving qualities, are somehow more 'female'.
<br>
<br>
I also remember thinking how this essentialist notion of sex/gender – as two tangible poles – is in contrast to how I usually think about gender, as something much more socially constructed and constituted. I then also thought about whether this 'feminine' quality of LSD experiences was in part due to my own sexuality. Would gay men, for instance, experience the same thing?
<br>
<br>
Psychedelic architecture: The other intense vistas that I experienced were of vast caverns, landscapes that were moulded by the music I was listening to. They were like huge subterranean caves, fluctuating and brightly lit.
<br>
<br>
I also saw a physical modelling of my own life as a vast spiral emerging out of a street, at first glance seemingly made of stone but also very much part of the natural world, adorned in leaves and blending into the environment. It was both a physical object and a relationship to the things around it, expanding upwards and in many different directions. The words are feeble but that is the closest I can come to describing it.
<br>
<br>
The moment and the mind: At it's most transcendent, I felt I was able to largely control the experience, by sitting still and focusing on breathing when the visuals became intense.
<br>
<br>
I had a awareness of an undulating moment and being part of it. There is a space/time I have sometimes been able to access on LSD which can only be described as ecstatic – existing outside of ordinary time in which everything simply flows.
<br>
<br>
However, the main tension of the experience was between the direct experience of the moment and my mind stepping in to name or define things, as though my conscious mind was always on hand to say: 'ah, so now you're experiencing this...' this acted as a barrier to complete ego loss in the moment and something I became very aware of as the night wore on. I wonder whether it is time to start taking slightly larger doses, so that the mind can pose less resistance and has to surrender completely to the moment.
<br>
<br>
Questions: I remember feeling a certain satisfaction with the fact that I was able to be on my own and trip, feeling comfortable with myself and secure with the fact that I would be ok. Some questions that arose were: why are you taking this? Where are you trying to get to or what is it that you are seeking? But if tripping is seen as a form of traveling between layers of consciousness and exploring the caverns of the mind, then the journey is in itself the purpose.
<br>
<br>
Physical side-effects: there was a significant body load from the acid, and a slightly spiky edge that meant my body couldn't entirely relax and I experienced a degree of shakiness throughout. I smoked a bit of weed but this only reduced it by a small amount.
<br>
<br>
The grotesque: as with most trips, there was a darker component to the visions, which emerged later, as most of the open-eye visuals had subsided, and I my body was feeling tired while my mind was still racing and awake. At this point, distorted and mangled, sometimes mutilated body forms started to make their way into my consciousness. I imagine the film I had been watching earlier had a part to play in this. However, I didn't feel frightened by the images but instead accepted them and let them pass.
<br>
<br>
Just before I fell asleep, I had a wave of intense, graphic and somewhat depraved sexual fantasies, some of them fairly violent in content. I imagined doing things (and having things done to me) to and by friends and people I knew that I would never ordinarily fantasize about. Despite their graphic nature, they were also somehow childish, as though my mind was processing the idea of sex and human bodies from the point of view of an infant who is still only becoming familiar with the notion of sexuality and is still a little bit disgusted by it all. I was shocked by some of what I saw though, and remember thinking if those were my actual desires or wants.
<br>
<br>
I eventually got to sleep around 4 or 5 in the morning. Overall, it was a positive experience, and despite feeling a little jangled the next day, I always feel quite surprised and how quickly the mind returns to 'normal' consciousness.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2014</td><td width="90">ExpID: 103803</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 30</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 4, 2021</td><td>Views: 428</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=103803&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=103803&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Alone (16), Sex Discussion (14), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
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<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">buccal</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">210 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I had been curious about using psychedelics in that past but had never really came across the chance to do any of them. I’d been wary about drug use in the past before due having a family history of substance abuse, primarily stimulants (crystal) and opioids (morphine). I had casually brought it up in conversation with friends I worked with at the time but eventually one day one of my close friends I worked with asked if I wanted to try it. For context we’re all in the military I won't say where or what branch but to my surprise I had discovered that essentially all of the people that lived in the barracks in my company were using it. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I had discovered that essentially all of the people that lived in the barracks in my company were using it.</div></div> So, we had set up a time and day to consume. It took some time for my wife to agree to it as she was worried about substance abuse as well. Life in the army can be troubling and I have several undiagnosed behavioral health issues that are hereditary from my mom so at this time I’d already spent time in inpatient for attempted suicide and I had a drinking problem I was just getting over.
<br>
<br>
We had decided to all go out and grab some ramen and kind of brief over what to expect and what we will do. I had a pretty clear mind set and was pretty hyped so I didn’t think there would be any issue with having a bad trip either. I <!-- did and I highly recommend for anyone else that anytime you’re going to try a recreational substance (or even a new prescription not meant for abusing) to as much research as you can-->had researched as much as I could on the substance.
<br>
<br>
We finished our ramen and decided to dose. Starting the trip it was 4 of us including myself, my best friends that I’ll call G, his girlfriend J, and our other friend F. J unwrapped the foil and handed out 3 tabs from one blotter sheet and one much smaller tab from another sheet. I don’t really think anyone knew exactly how many mcg we were taking but my best guess is the small one was about 100 and the others were probably 50-75 each. After we did what would become the traditional cheers with the tabs everyone went their separate ways until the come up. Mind you we decided to do this in the barracks so that was the only nerving thing about it. If you don’t know typically barracks will be each suite is two different rooms that share a bathroom and a common area. We started in F’s room and his roommate wasn’t aware of what we were doing.
<br>
<br>
Everyone else went to their respective rooms and showered because that was their pre come up ritual. I stayed in F’s room until he showered. Around this time there was a knock at the door and two other friends we worked with S and R stopped by. I still had the tabs in my mouth and started to get nervous until they had already pointed out they knew what we were doing and was surprised I was partaking as well as disappointed they weren’t told about it before hand. They decided to join us but things started to get more complicated due to other people joining the trip when we started feeling the come up. I still remember the first song that F played called Oddity by whatsonot. All the guys referred to it as “the wet song”<!-- if you ever listen to it you’ll know why-->. I remember F looking at me “Recline the seat and lay back and you’ll fall into it” so I did but each time the beat dropped and the song played these loud wet sounds J and R kept saying “Oh my god so fucking wet!” and I started losing it.
<br>
<br>
I remember leaning back up and needing something to drink so I asked F for some water. When he came back from the kitchen, he had a regular sized coffee mug but to me it looked like an unreasonably huge container of water and as my shaking arms reached out to grab it I felt as if I was going to spill it. I started to realize that even though we were in such a small room everyone felt so out of reach like they were 100 miles away. “what's the matter? Drink the water man” I heard F say and I responded “I can’t, I can’t drink it someone help” about this time S and R started screaming with their tabs in their mouth “don't drink that fucking water, don’t do it!” eventually I was able to and after this G came back to fetch us and go to J’s room who supposedly had a much better vibe.
<br>
<br>
Upon entering J’s room, I noticed immediately it was in fact a better vibe. She has lights turned on that went along the corners of the ceiling that changed colors. She also had light saber and a bunch of tapestries and posters. <!-- The two most memorable ones were a giant want that took up half an entire wall of a skeleton holding up a sideways peace sign an had a rose in its mouth. The other one and one I had to buy myself later on was the great wave of karagawa.--> She was playing doom on her PC waiting on us to come in and at this time it felt like a very dreamy like state I was in. Throughout the night more and more people got involved which was somewhat uncomfortable but also fun. I remember sitting with J on her bed and we started talking about suicide, it was a serious conversation about what we had both went through before, however the visuals at this time seemed somewhat disturbing as her face started to look demonic with long sharp teeth but I wasn’t afraid. It was a good conversation and she was a good friend. Several times throughout the night we had left through her window and came back in doing stuff all together (the original group) like watching the sunset and looking at stars and talking about life and how we felt about each other. There was this strong connection between all of us being friends especially with me and G.
<br>
<br>
We had talked about how I felt that I could rely on G in any kind of crisis and that’d we’d be there for each other. At this time during the peak, I had also had this realization about existence that to me seemed would have been a depressing thought for a normal person but at my state it seemed so comforting. Before this part of my suicidal ideation was out of this thought that I was so alone and misunderstood and that no one else seemed to notice or care about things like government corruption, police brutality, racial inequality, neo-Nazis whatever the list goes on and not in a traditional sense but in more of an Orwellian kind of fear about what is to come or how much control we had over our lives and that kind of thing. But this realization made me think and I spoke aloud “you know, our life is like a grain of sand in all the worlds beaches and we are so insignificant and meaningless but we are all one together. Things aren’t so bad and if all you do is focus on the bad and what you can’t change then your existence would be miserable”. The other agreed to this sentiment and as time went on, we discussed many different things and eventually made our way inside before the come down started.
<br>
<br>
After everyone was back inside and things started to mellow out it was just the original group on J’s room and this was the time, they all like to watch videos and things like that. First, we watch the old alien movie “they live” which was my recommendation. After they had begun to show me some videos, they all liked while tripping and I’ll never forget them. In my opinion you shouldn’t waste your trip watching pure comedy or something. You to watch things visually appealing and thought provoking and this is where the other part of the title creepy crawlies come in. F had told me that if something seems uncanny or somewhat disturbing to confront them and that ended up being exactly the kind of material I liked looking for. We watched mostly adult swim stuff that I realized at that point was all designed to watch while tripping or even the people doing it was tripping. We watched unedited footage of a bear, smart pipe, Icelandic ultra-blue, Jack Stauber's shop a pop opera, May I please enter your home, for profit online university, and quite a bit more<!-- but those are the ones I'd recommend watching while tripping-->. There's something to say about the uncanniness of these little shows. The occasional “wait, what?” visual glitches and overall demeanor of them. Sometimes they can be quite uncomfortable to say the least. After all this we watched the sun rise and I had them take me home.
<br>
<br>
<!-- Overall if you’ve never done it, I’d recommend but make sure you do it-->I did it with people I trust and have done it before. Listened to some kick ass music, watched some videos, talked about uncomfortable stuff. It’s something I’ll never forget and after that I still do LSD to this day. Though as times change and people move in the military, I mostly have to do it alone.
<br>
<br>
<!-- Another quick note about this trip as I have other reports to post in the future. -->The visuals in this one was a lot different than other ones I had. There was your quintessential fractals and stuff but overall things looked as if I were trying to watch a DVD with scratched disk or very “computer corruption” esque. It’s a lot cooler than it sounds. I also personally feel EDM is the best kind of music to jam to despite never being a fan beforehand. <!-- Hopefully this was a good trip report and I’ll be back to post more. --><!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2020</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115792</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 27</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 7, 2021</td><td>Views: 428</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=115792&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=115792&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), First Times (2), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">9 shots</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Hard</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">175 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
LSD Saved My Life...
<br>
<br>
A few years back, I had been diagnosed with depression after a suicide attempt and was put on various antidepressant medications. I took these meds as directed for about 2 years, only to realize they were doing absolutely nothing. Before my stupid attempt at suicide, I had already began smoking marijuana daily and doing many other drugs such as ecstasy, mushrooms and various opiates, occasionally (and no, the drugs had nothing to do with my depression!). Since I had tried mushrooms, they were by far my favorite drug and it made me fall in love with tripping out =D. I wanted something more, and LSD was obviously the next step for me.
<br>
<br>
Me and my best friend, who I will call 'Joe' from now on, decided to take 1 hit of acid each at exactly 9:00 PM.....Keep in mind that at the time I took LSD, I was still a suicidal and extremely depressed person with a terrible outlook on life, people and almost everything in general. Also, being an experienced tripper on mushrooms and salvia divinorum, I knew the risks of tripping with a bad state of mind, but knew how to control myself....<!-- If you are not an expirienced tripper, take a good hard look at yourself before you decide to take a hallucinogen!-->
<br>
<br>
9:00 pm...Put LSD on my tongue and kept it there for about 25 minutes and then swallowed it. We stayed in Joe's room in his house for the duration of the trip.
<br>
<br>
10:00 pm...Lights seemed to be brighter, there was a strange static and life about the room and objects seemed to be breathing with a strange pulse.
<br>
<br>
11:00 pm...I began to see a plaid-like pattern all over everything, strange trails followed moving objects and the pulsing/breathing of objects became more intense. This continued until about 1:00 am.
<br>
<br>
1:00 am...By this time, I really began examining things inside my head. It seemed like so much chaos was going on in the room...colors were swirling all over everything, objects became strangely alive and very odd hallucinations of demon faces were seen all over, although they were not frightening...this was happening even though in reality it was only me and Joe sitting in a chair in his room with the T.V. on.
<br>
<br>
2:00 am...I reached my peak here and things became unbelievable. I had a feeling of extreme euphoria surging through my body. All my senses were interconnected with each other and there was so much I wanted to say to Joe about what I was seeing and feeling, but I was unable to form words in my brain. Language, life and sensory seemed to make no sense to me.
<br>
<br>
3:00 am...I was still peaking, but kind of 'got used to it' and I decided to sit down and enjoy the ride.***This is when the life-changing part occurred***I was sitting and staring off into space watching all these strange hallucinations of colors morphing into each other. I was then able to actually see microscopic life all over. I actually saw germs crawling all over everything, slowly inching along. There were billions of them. This got me to some EXTREME deep thinking and mind traveling. Now I understood why the experience was called a 'trip.'
<br>
<br>
4:00 am...I was thinking very hard, probably too hard about the meaning of life and death, the future of the earth and humanity, and trying to find answers and reasons to EVERYTHING. My thoughts became overwhelming and I felt my brain pulsing and thumping inside my skull. I then came to a strange revelation that life has no meaning, there is no God, all people are greedy animals that will never learn, and I will never know what it is like to die until it actually happens.
<br>
<br>
5:00 am...Still thinking about all that was said above, a strange euphoric and comforting feeling came over me again and it made me feel like everything was going to be alright, I had nothing to worry about and life is just worth living. From that moment on, until this day, I have been a happy, very happy and changed person.
<br>
<br>
6:00 am...The trip suddenly stopped dead in its tracks and I began to doze off.....
<br>
<br>
The next day I woke up and it felt like a train had hit me. The trip was still fresh in my mind, and I had a whole new and brilliant outlook on life. I learned a lot and had many questions and thoughts that have haunted me my whole life had finally been answered. I love life now.
<br>
<br>
[Reported Dose: "1 hit of LSD.....9 shots of 80 proof liquor"]<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 64637</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 18, 2021</td><td>Views: 845</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=64637&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=64637&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">62 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Age: 28 years
<br>
Sex: Male
<br>
Weight: 62kg
<br>
Height 182cm
<br>
Previous substances used: MDMA once about a month ago. Drunk about 15 times between 16 and 25 years of age.
<br>
<br>
Sensory separation, ego death, reincarnation.
<br>
<br>
I took one blotter of LSD, which I was told should be 150 micrograms. I took it at 1515 hours.
<br>
<br>
About 45 minutes into it, the ceiling above my bed on which I was lying was making all forms of patterns that were shaking. And it also looked like the ceiling was actually a floor that had a few inches of water on it and the surface was rippling.
<br>
<br>
About an hour into it, every little spot and dot and smudge everywhere on the floor and walls was moving, disappearing and appearing, morphing into insects and bugs and whatnot. The floor in my apartment is a very unique and random pattern, it doesn't repeat itself at all, it is completely random. This was extremely cool, because the patterns that formed on it were insanely detailed and all kinds of small dots of all colors I could imagine were moving on the patterns. And there's also a lot of small smudges and stains on the floor and all of those became little bugs that moves all over the place.
<br>
<br>
I felt as if I had a fish-eye lens on, everything was distorted on the edges of my periferal vision, as if my field of vision was a lot more than normally. The edges of the room seemed to go a lot further. I went to take a shower.
<br>
<br>
In the shower I felt like the water went inside me as it came down and as I looked at my fingers there was some kind of web or slime connecting my fingers to each other. And as I looked at the ground, the water drops on the ground formed incredible patterns that moved in perfect synchronization. All the small smudges of dirt on the edges of my bathroom turned into ants that were running all over.
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<br>
When I came out of the shower I went back to bed, and as I did that I left a bunch of water drops on my blue bed sheets. They were very distinct and my girlfriend (my guide) pointed them out to me and I looked at them. They seemed to keep forming on their own, and as I lifted the covers they kept forming all over the bed sheets. I was absolutely amazed by it!
<br>
<br>
I don't have a good idea of time from here forward, I was pretty much out of it.
<br>
<br>
All the small patterned colored dots on the floor kept getting more and more vivid. My gf put on some music and I kept lying on the bed and waving my arms and my head was filled with all kinds of ideas and shapes and images.
<br>
<br>
And then I got it into my head that I should watch this galactic timelapse video I had found on the web a while back. I had planned on watching it on acid because I wanted to try if I could go into space. When my gf put it on and I was lying on the bed I saw the edge of the monitor because a chair was in front of it. But I was able to move the chair with my mind without moving my head, so that I could see the entire monitor! This absolutely blew my mind, I got up and said: 'NOW I WILL GO INTO THE GALAXIES!' And proceeded to dive into the monitor. And I actually went there! My gf filmed this and the look on my face was absolutely incredible. It was pure amazement, I have my arms up and I go: 'I am in perfect control ... and I AM IN THE GALAXY!' I couldn't see anything else other than the sky filled with the milky way galaxy, stars and clusters of stars and star dust everywhere.
<br>
<br>
After that the trip went completely nuts. I went back on the bed and asked my gf to come hug and kiss with me, and this took the trip to a whole new level. My gf came on top of me and as she was on top of me, pressing against my hips and started kissing me I started to see all kinds of shapes and patterns and I literally felt as if our hips merged together. It felt extremely powerful close to painful, but not bad per se. Our bodies fused together and I started to feel as if my body turned into something else. Like my body was the size and shape of the entire universe and I felt with every part of it. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I started to feel as if my body turned into something else. Like my body was the size and shape of the entire universe and I felt with every part of it.</div></div> Whenever I tried moving a part of my body I felt the movement all over the place, every little movement felt everywhere I could imagine.
<br>
<br>
I lost all form of self, I didn't have a body anymore and I was something else, I forgot what this world was about and I realized that I was actually the entire universe, a universe that was realizing that it was the universe. And I kept evolving, morphing into new things. I realized that all my life was actually a lie or a figment of my imagination and something else was actually right. And this looped over and over into all kinds of different things that I can't explain. I think I died and was reborn as the universe multiple times.
<br>
<br>
And from here on forward the trip got bad. I started to get flashes where I was walking all over my apartment and my gf was following me and I was extremely disoriented. I would look at all the things in my apartment and then look at my gf and ask: 'What is going on?' And she would go: 'You are tripping on acid.' Then I'd keep going.
<br>
<br>
At this part of the trip I went through dozens of different loops that were all pretty much horribly scary and negative. The loops mostly consisted of things that happened to my mind, stuff like that I realized that I was going insane, I heard it being said in my mind, but I can't remember the words that were used, but it was crystal clear that I was indeed going insane and I felt as if that had been going on for hours, I was going insane over and over.
<br>
<br>
And then the loops turned into something else. I was suddenly an old granny, my voice was high and sort of screechy and I was walking around in my apartment. And my memory kept skipping so that I would suddenly realize I was in the kitchen and I would turn to my gf and ask: 'What's going on?' And she would go: 'You walked into the kitchen.' Which obviously turned in my head into that I was an old granny that had a memory problem and I was walking around unknowingly. All the little bottles of vitamins we have around the house were obviously my medicine cos I was old, sunglasses were my old granny glasses cos I obviously didn't see well. As I looked at my facebook page I could see my children and grandchildren send me messages.
<br>
<br>
I kept finding myself in the toilet and kept asking my gf: 'Did I go?' And she would go: 'No, you just came here and did nothing.' Then the trip kept going worse, I started to feel a weird feeling in my testicles, so now I was obviously an old man with testicular cancer. I was dying, I saw people send me goodbye notes on facebook, so that meant I was close to dying of cancer. I went to lay on the bed and said (on camera): 'well, I gotta say that, I had a good run!' And turned to face the wall. And seemingly accepted my death. At this point there was a sad song coming out of my computer that reminded a little of a funeral song. I ACTUALLY felt as if I was in a coffin in my own funeral and I was carried in church as the song was going. And I embraced death. I kept dying many times in these loops and each time I realized I was dying, I embraced it. I even remember saying: 'Finally, this is what I've been waiting for!' And my gf would ask: 'What is that?' I would answer: 'Death!' (Note that I have not had a suicidal thought in my entire life.) I also died from suicide by knife and by going out on a car while drunk.
<br>
<br>
And during these loops there were also places where I understood that something fundamental was happening in my mind, I was realizing that something was happening that was the worst thing that could happen in my mind, something that I had spent my entire life trying not to experience, and I kept experiencing it over and over. Stuff like, going insane, suddenly starting to believe in god (life long atheist), my gf telling me she's cheating on me, suddenly realizing I was gay. There were a lot of these, and each felt like the worst possible thing that could EVER happen to me.
<br>
<br>
After this, I pretty much came to my senses and didn't experience any more memory skipping or other visions. I was back in my room with my girlfriend. I was laying on the bed and she was sitting on a chair next to me. And this was the beginning of the scariest part of the trip by far...
<br>
<br>
I was back in reality, but it felt absolutely unreal. The room was slightly distorted, the colors were extremely vivid and every single surface that had even a little bit of texture was moving extremely powerfully. The curtains that have a complex texture were moving and shifting and morphing. The floor was filled with moving patterns of bright colors and bugs and insect. Everywhere I looked I saw small things quivering and moving and morphing, as if every texture in the world was animated.
<br>
<br>
And then my girlfriend started to talk... a lot. Extremely calm, extremely articulated. Not that she's not like that normally, but it felt absolutely unreal. I simply couldn't say anything. After what I had gone through, I had just died multiple times, I had become the universe and had my body distorted and destroyed and so on. The experience I had just gone through was so powerful that I was convinced that I had ACTUALLY died. Or at least was in a coma in real life, that I was sure that this was not the real world. I was certain that this woman that looked like my gf was actually an imposter, here to 'take care of me' in my 'limbo' if you will.
<br>
<br>
The strangest thing was that I could not feel my body. I couldn't feel that I was breathing. I couldn't feel that my muscles did anything when I moved around. Everything felt as if I had just been placed into this fake body in a simulation. And I was 100% certain this was the only possibility. But I could not comprehend how this could be possible. I have been a logical, scientific thinker all my life. And I could not understand how my brain could create such a world for me. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I have been a logical, scientific thinker all my life. And I could not understand how my brain could create such a world for me.</div></div> My girlfriend kept talking and I tried to find something in her speech that would indicate that she wasn't real. I tried calling her phone to see if it would connect, and it did. She looked at me with a smile and said: 'Why did you do that?' And it felt SO weird, I was convinced that she knew I didn't believe this was real and she was wary that I would freak out. I kept trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
<br>
<br>
I tried doing a few push ups just for the hell of it, and I couldnt feel any strain on my muscles. I am not a very athletic person but I couldn't feel anything. I could feel that my brain registered that I was doing physical work, but I couldn't feel my muscles doing it.
<br>
<br>
We went out for a walk and I couldn't feel anything. It was pretty cold, but I couldnt feel it. I couldnt feel myself walking, I still couldnt feel myself breathing and every car and person going past us seemed to look directly at me, as if they knew. As if they were already part of this reality and I had just entered it and everyone knew it.
<br>
<br>
I called my friend to see if he would pick up and he did, we chatted for a while and he seemed normal. Then I called my brother and asked what he was doing. He was at home so I said we'd come by and he said ok. So we walked through the city at night, and all through the walk I felt nothing. I usually get at least a bit winded if we walk fast, but I felt nothing.
<br>
<br>
While we were walking I tried to explain my gf what I thought. I told her that I was convinced that I had died and I was in either a limbo, an afterlife or a parallel universe. And her reply was so calm! She just said: 'Hmm, that's interesting that you think that you're in a parallel universe...' At this point I broke down crying for a few seconds and told her that I am in total panic about what's going on. And she just said: 'Don't worry, it's OK.' She is never this calm, but later she told me that she just did her best to keep her composure so that I wouldn't freak out more and that she was actually really freaked out as well.
<br>
<br>
We went to see my brother and sat down talking for a bit and then my brother gave us a lift home. Even then I was still not sure if I was in the real world. Then my gf started to show me the clips she had filmed about me. And watching them I slowly started to come to and realize that I had just gone through an ego death and coming back after that...
<br>
<br>
So basically I experienced ego death but was completely lost as to what happened after that, so basically the end of my trip, in which I could have started to rebuild myself was lost because I was so confused and afraid about what was actually going on.
<br>
<br>
All in all, an extremely scary trip but the most amazing experience of my entire life. A few weeks and I'll try that again. :)<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2011</td><td width="90">ExpID: 90846</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 28</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 26, 2021</td><td>Views: 669</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=90846&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=90846&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Guides / Sitters (39), Glowing Experiences (4), Bad Trips (6), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">inhaled</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/nitrous/">Nitrous Oxide</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">60 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
A Trip Through the Nitrous Oxide Realm
<br>
<br>
<!-- Trip Report - 19th October 2019
<br/>
<br/>
-->Location: Sydney, Australia.
<br>
<br>
I am going to go into as much detail as possible for this report but some segments may be lost as I had not originally intended to report my experience, however I feel I need to due to the nature of some of the points throughout the trip and my desire to recall this experience in future.
<br>
<br>
To set the scene; myself, my girlfriend and a group of friends decided to drop acid on a Friday evening at home, we had done this a few weeks earlier at home and had a good time, though not as intense as this time. Our friend J was doing acid properly for the first time and me, my girlfriend (Jz), S and K all had some prior experience with psychedelics such as LSD and Mushrooms.
<br>
<br>
+020.00
<br>
<br>
We had all been chilling on the back porch around a large table chatting, drinking and smoking some joints while listening to music, the time is around 8pm. The table is lit from above with pulsing coloured LED lights, the music plays through the living room system which is just through the double doors out to the back porch creating a good feel for a trip. The sun had set and after some time we all decided now was the time to drop the acid. Me, J, S and Jz all took one tab each while K did two as we were told this was “weaker acid”. We then set about playing a board game “codenames” which had everyone laughing and having a good time.
<br>
<br>
+20.20
<br>
<br>
About twenty minutes after we initially dropped, still playing the boardgames whilst smoking and having some nitrous, K started to mention he was feeling like the acid was kicking in. I felt something similar in my body but dismissed that it was kicking in as we were only twenty minutes in. Over the next ten to fifteen minutes my body high was growing more intense which did make me question whether the acid was actually starting, at this point I felt some anxiety about the stated strength of the acid, and also for how K may be feeling.
<br>
<br>
+20.50
<br>
<br>
At this point some other friends showed up at our place who were not tripping, this is when I really started to notice the onset; K, S, Jz and J were all feeling it too, we were all having a hard time trying to play the board game and also interact with our sober friends but not in a bad way, the difference in energy was just more noticeable because of the acid. We smoked some joints and continued having nitrous whippets in balloons, this was elevating the onset of the acid and visuals were beginning to become more and more vivid. We were all laughing non stop at each other and were all generally having a really good time enjoying the come up.
<br>
<br>
+21.30
<br>
<br>
The onset of the acid was very quick, possibly because of the nitrous combination but we all noted how it had affected us quicker than the last time we tripped together on a stronger dose. We had previously set the living room up with coloured lights, neon signs etc which gave us another area to explore. The surround sound in the living room sounded amazing, I could feel the vibrations of the music going in time with the vibrations of my body, I felt connected to the music through the artwork on the screen. Around now our sober friends left and we moved into the living room taking turns doing nitrous in a bean bag in the middle of the room. This with the music loud provides an intense experience with heavy visuals and a sense of leaving reality for a period of time that feels longer than it is. We were all tripping pretty hard at this point, all noting heavy light hallucinations and feelings of time repeating itself after a balloon. The balloons were running out so we decided it would be fun to walk to the shops about ten minutes away.
<br>
<br>
+22.00
<br>
<br>
We left the house after around another half an hour due to the confusion and distractions of the visuals. During the walk the visuals were increasingly strong at times, with trees and building looking warped and coloured. The trees were shimmering with purples and blues in the dark streets with the buildings looking out of place and as if they were made of plastic or some other material that was smooth and shiny with a “softness” to it. This is very enjoyable and I’d say we were all having a similar experience. Cars were very alien and the noises were crisp and seemed to echo, as we reached a cross roads Jz mentioned how it looked like we were In Tokyo, and we all agreed and stood to enjoy the shared experience while waiting to cross. The shop where the nitrous is sold is on a busy main street with bars, cafes and restaurants which is full of lights and signs. This was very enjoyable for us while tripping, the lights were vivid and bright with trails coming off in different colours. I felt very content with how I was feeling at this point, I tend to enjoy being outside moving through different environments when tripping.
<br>
<br>
We made it to the shop in a relatively quick time considering our state. K, who had taken the highest dosage was actually acting as group leader, he was the only one who managed to bring money and also was the one to go into the shop to make the purchase, this was surprising to me considering in my state I was in no way capable of remembering anything when leaving the house. On the way home, we stopped at the 7eleven to buy snacks and some drinks. We all bought ice creams and walked the rest of the way having the most blissful joint experience of the ice cream, which tasted amazing while tripping and the coldness of the mouthfuls was soothing my dry mouth from nitrous and smoking joints.
<br>
<br>
+22.40
<br>
<br>
At this point I feel like things kicked up in terms of intensity, both the visuals and body high.
<br>
<br>
We arrived home and went back out onto the back deck, we decided we all should do a balloon at the same time. We proceeded to load up five balloons for all of us, we chose not to have any music on but instead listen to the sounds of the crickets in the night which I was heightened to and felt very comforted by the sound. We all started huffing the balloons at the same time, about thirty seconds in I lost awareness of everyone around me and everything fell silent, the area seemed to be a light blueish colour and time felt like it was standing still. As I took the balloon down from my mouth, I noticed that all sounds that I could hear sounded like they were in slow motion. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">As I took the balloon down from my mouth, I noticed that all sounds that I could hear sounded like they were in slow motion.</div></div> I lost awareness of my body and felt like I had gone too far, I looked around the room and could see that everyone was in this altered reality with me. We all came to and were confused but excited about what had just happened and started trying to make sense of it which felt impossible at the time, and looking back I still cannot work out if we all left our bodies for a brief time and were in this altered place through the nitrous combining with the LSD. After this first experience we continued to do nitrous but did not have the same profound joint experience. This combo definitely ramps up the effects of the LSD, I thought I was peaking when we were walking to the shops but now my high was a lot heavier and my body felt like I was constantly slightly under the effects of nitrous, things were more and more confusing and I was finding that I needed to change my seat or move between rooms to bring some clarity to my mind.
<br>
<br>
+23.30
<br>
<br>
After about another hour of chatting, listening to music and taking nitrous oxide I was really feeling deep into my trip. The whole of my vision was becoming distorted, patterns were appearing on all surfaces and even merging from object to object creating one continuous pulse of geometric patterns. The walls were distorted and pulsing and light seemed to sway through the spectrum depending on the music and the conversation. There were points where I was becoming internally panicked that this was a much stronger dose than advertised, but these unpleasant feelings would usually subside after moving location or starting conversation. I find that my girlfriend Jz is the best person for any unpleasant feelings, even just being next to her makes me feel very grounded and no matter how hard we've been tripping I feel we are always on the same level and are connected in a way that we are always on the same energy level, she is my rock when tripping and feel very grateful for this.
<br>
<br>
+00.30
<br>
<br>
The trip is still at a very high intensity, we are now all doing our own thing. J, K and Jz were on the back deck whilst me and S were in the living room enjoying the music. I was sat on the sofa while S was dancing close to the speaker she mentioned how she was dancing with the music, feeling the music within her being. I was sat on the sofa having some intense visuals which were messing with my perspective, I was struggling to focus on anything for longer than a few seconds. I remember at this point I was surprised the acid was still so strong due to the low dose, but then felt very content again and went outside onto the deck to roll a joint with Jz.
<br>
<br>
+01.30
<br>
<br>
After another hour, the strength was coming and going in waves and we chatted and chilled on the deck while I rolled a joint. I finally got it rolled and we were feeling really good about smoking it, by this point another wave came over me and things were getting intense again. As I lit the joint I felt amazing, the body high was euphoric and the light trails were spinning around and twirling through the smoke of the joint. This felt amazing and with each toke I could feel myself slipping a bit deeper into the trip. Visual distortion became stronger and feelings of confusion were beginning to creep in again. I think this was generally to do with the surprise of how strongly we were all tripping, I spoke about this with Jz and she was feeling the same which made me feel a lot more comfortable.
<br>
<br>
+01.50
<br>
<br>
We saw J and K in the hallway looking at the various bits of artwork whilst doing a balloon. Myself, S and Jz went in with them and began to admire the spiralling colours and melting textures that filled the frame of a Jimi Hendrix painting. It was really amazing looking at this and watching it come alive. At this point my perspective was completely off, the hallway was ballooned out and the corners were rounded and soft, almost as if the corners didn't exist and the hall was just one straight line. Everyone was at different heights in my field of vision even thought some are taller and others are similar in height, this was beginning to make me feel uncomfortable so I went back outside onto the back deck to try and gather my thoughts.
<br>
<br>
The strength of the trip at this time was still pretty intense, visuals were still very colourful and full of patterns with the addition of the distorted perspective which seemed to have a very late onset. The table was at an angle and nothing on it was easily visible, and the distances between myself and others around the table was very warped and distorted. We were all feeling pretty physically exhausted at this point and were chilling in the back. S was on her own in the bathroom enjoying her reflection and the visuals she was still having. After about thirty minutes she went to bed, while the rest of us stayed out the back taking hits on K’s weed vape which was really nice change to the joints we’d been smoking all evening. I could sense that the acid was finally wearing off and I was feeling very peaceful and relaxed about the whole experience so far.
<br>
<br>
+02.10
<br>
<br>
Jz went to bed while me, K and J stayed out smoking and chatting about the night, trying to make sense of some of the things we’d seen and experienced, we continued to smoke the vape which was not intensifying any of the trip but was more bringing us down and getting us ready for bed. After about fifteen minutes, I decided to go to bed and cuddle up with Jz and get cosy as I was feeling very tired. I was still having some mild visuals at this time but once my eyes were closed and I was lying down it didn't take long for me to fall asleep. I had a very deep and enjoyable sleep but did not recall having any dreams which I was expecting to.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2019</td><td width="90">ExpID: 113782</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 28</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 28, 2021</td><td>Views: 740</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=113782&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=113782&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Nitrous Oxide (40), Cannabis (1) : Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/kratom/">Kratom</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(ground / crushed)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/herbs/ginger/">Ginger</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(tea)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">~400 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mescaline/">Mescaline</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 4:15</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">~80 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 4:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">30 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">10 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/diazepam/">Pharms - Diazepam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">vaporized</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dmt/">DMT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">~200 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/smarts/tryptophan/">Tryptophan - 5-HTP</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Vitamin B-6</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">170 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
So this was a day I had been planning for for a long time. A little over a year ago I had somewhat of a bad acid trip (my own fault... it was a horrible day to do it - my teenage brother was having a kegger later that same night and I was supposed to be the 'responsible' one watching over all these kids). Granted I took it earlier in the day, but it was still on my mind all day and my brother and his friend were acting like idiots while on it, after all, they were only teenagers.
<br>
<br>
After experiencing what could be considered crippling anxiety the whole day during that trip, the bad feelings unfortunately seemed to stick with me long afterwards (set and setting is everything!). I had taken care of myself before and afterwards... I was always have been and still am into working out (lifting about an hour 2x per week of mixed/alternating powerlifting, Olympic lifting, awkward object strongman-type lifting, bodyweight lifting including handstand work, along with running and swimming for cardio health and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) and eating healthy (lots of fruits and veggies, lots of good protein and good fats, and generally less than 150 grams of carbs per day max). I try to meditate and practice mindfulness throughout the day often, based off of Eckhart Tolle's 'Power of Now' type stuff, trained myself to be a slow, deep breather (Scuba Diving actually helped me pay more attention to this too), so generally, I really do try to take care of myself to the fullest extent. I'm not perfect when it comes to all that stuff, but I really try.
<br>
<br>
The point is, despite all that, the anxiety and bad feelings never seemed to fully leave after that trip for some reason. I was never able to come to terms with what I felt - I guess because of being so irresponsible that day and it being such a powerful experience, it finally got to the point where I felt the only way to reverse the process was to go back to the place where it came from in the first place - psychedelia. Maybe even go a little further; and that's exactly what I did.
<br>
<br>
When I trip, I usually like to trip alone. I have tripped with others before. From what I remember, it was with one close friend once, another close friend another time, and my brother twice. When I was younger, I felt it was easier to trip with other people. The reason I like to trip alone now is because of a couple reasons: I feel that I can get more out of the experience. I am an introvert, I'm pretty intuitive, pretty emotional, yet laid back. Because of being an intuitive introvert, I don't like distractions while tripping. I feel I can learn a lot if only I can just be left alone. Also, because of being emotionally sensitive naturally, I tend to be bothered by little things easily when I am tripping. If someone says something that could be taken the wrong way, I will probably take it that way. Therefore, I have realized that when I trip alone, I almost always tend to have a much better time, with the exception of a few cases. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text"> I have realized that when I trip alone, I almost always tend to have a much better time, with the exception of a few cases.</div></div> Also, when I'm alone, I can do what I want, when I want. I can watch TV. I can watch what I want on TV. I can turn off the TV. I can put on music. I can listen to whatever music I want. I can put it at whatever volume I want. I can go outside. I can go inside. I can get naked if I damn well please. When I trip with other people, I can't do that stuff. As a matter of fact, many times I have ended up having to prepare some meal for them that they want during my peak that I have no desire to do, or I have to listen to their crappy music, or listen to them talk about some bullshit I have no interest in. Or they act like idiots and bring down my trip. Now trust me, I am not anti-social by any means, and I like my friends, but tripping is something special to me. Something sacred. It's a sensitive situation for me. When it's just me, I'm in control, and I alone. Much less to worry about. I do like to have 1 or 2 people know I am tripping though, so I can call them on the phone if I feel I really need to talk to someone for whatever reason. Ultimately though, I like tripping alone.
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I should also note, that I consider myself a drug addict. Not to psychedelics though. My drug of choice was usually opiates, specifically oxycodone. I hadn't done oxycodone in months, but I do still have a Kratom habit. I always liked Kratom because it's relaxing yet stimulating at the same time, and I can function while on it. There was a point earlier this year though when even that got out of control. Now granted I was taking oxycodone along with it and that pushed my tolerance and level of dependency WAY up, and I had a HORRIBLE time withdrawing (gabapentin saved me there). At one point I was up to 40 grams of Krat a day, plus whatever oxy I had slugged down that day. I quit that habit though and went a little over a couple months and felt almost back to normal, when I picked up the Kratom habit again, just not as intense this time, and no oxycodone. I never want to go back to that nasty drug. Anyway, so at this point I do have a mild Kratom dependency as well. I enjoy Kava occasionally too, but I did not take it the day of this trip.
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So, I had just gotten back from a week at the beach with my family, and I had the house to myself. I called work and told them I would be out an extra day. Now was finally the time. I felt good that day, was in a good mindset, the weather was beautiful out... a little nervous and apprehensive, but understandably I suppose. I took some Kratom, because I didn't want to start withdrawing in the middle of my trip. I didn't really take enough to get high, just enough to relax a little and keep myself from withdrawing later on. I didn't want to take the chance of fogging my trip up.
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This was around 12:00 PM or so. At about that time, I then made some Ginger tea (with real Ginger), and proceeded to mix in approx 400 mg of Mescaline. I drank it over the course of about 45 minutes, starting at 12:15 and finishing it at about 1. By 1:30 I was certainly feeling it, but it was nothing too intense. No nausea, probably thanks to the ginger. Now I'm not sure if mescaline is always as mild as it was at that dosage, but I thought either maybe it had degraded a bit since I got it (I kept it in a cool dark, airtight space for about a year), or I got jipped, or my tolerance is high to mescaline, or whatever, I don't know. I felt more aware, colors were brighter, I was relaxed and mellow. It felt like a really strong dose of the nootropic Aniracetam.
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By 2:00 it hadn't gotten much stronger and I realized I was looking for something more than this. After all, I never get the chance and I needed to take advantage of this day. So, I split a tab of acid (supposedly 130 ug per tab), and dropped it at about 2:00. I felt my trip indeed get stronger within 30 minutes, but concluded that I could still take the second half and feel comfortable, so I did, at about 2:30. Well now things were rolling. I felt so relaxed and mellow, I went outside and watched the trees blowing in the wind, which as beautiful. It was something I learned to appreciate years ago through my own, but now it was even more astounding. I could see every leaf on every branch so clear, all at the same time. I put my feet in the pool, and it felt great. I felt I would have been able to hold a conversation easily. I was thinking of going in, but I knew if I went upstairs to change into my bathing suit, I would probably get lost and distracted and not end up coming back down, which is exactly what happened.
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Now I think it's interesting to note, I had tripped plenty of times before, but I rarely remember feeling this mellow. It may have been the mescaline, since I had only taken it once before at a lower dose (~250 mg) and remember feeling mellow in the same way. Rarely would I feel excessively mellow on acid. So it seemed as if even though the acid really bumped up my trip to a good, solid, strong level, the mescaline kept me calm and in touch with that feeling of being spiritually connected, which I heard mescaline can do (and can confirm that it does). Acid alone, while always giving great insights, would usually feel somewhat hollow to me. Hence my trip was filled in nicely with a persistent warm spiritual glow in the background.
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As I was coming up on my trip more and more, I was fooling around on my guitar, listening and playing to the Paul Butterfield Blue Band's East-West album, and Cream (live in Detroit 1967 - best concert ever!). I was under no delusions that I was playing any better than I would have sober, but I don't think it was half bad either. Though in the past I have come out with some amazing solos while tripping, just not this time. It got to the point where I didn't feel like playing or listening or doing anything, so I turned it all off and laid down on my bed and closed my eyes.
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At this point it was probably around 3:30. Some of the most beautiful visuals came into focus. Different than shroom-like visuals, which for me involve living things, morphing and changing into other landscapes and living things. This was more just patterns and designs. They weren't overly geometrical, but were more fluid, thanks to the mescaline I think. At one point, I was flying through a neon void traversing between what looked like yellow neurons, and I came to feel as if these were the neurons in my brain. They weren't firing anything, but all I had to do was tell them to start working, and they did. At that point, I felt a sudden rush of calm and euphoria and I immediately felt more at one with everyone and everything in the universe. I don't know if it was psychological or what, but it was THAT easy to fix the problem. I felt I had reversed the anxiety that was created over a year ago. It emptied from my mind. It was like a catharsis that wasn't painful or difficult at all.
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I enjoyed the visuals for awhile longer, and then felt like I started to come down. I got up and started walking around, not really knowing what to do with myself at this point. It was around 4:00 and I felt lost, so I just put the TV on and started watching 'Friends'. Then it hit me... why not take some MDMA and candyflip? The bad stuff was gotten out of my mind... why not fill it with some good love and bliss now and solidify a positive everlasting experience?
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I went in my drawer and pulled it out. Solid crystal MDMA. I had rolled on this batch before, about a year prior, so I knew it was legit. This was real MDMA... pure and potent. At about 4:15, I weighed out about 80 mg and licked my finger and ate it all. Washed it down with water. A half hour passed and I felt a little more energy, but not much, and I was on an empty stomach. I thought maybe I should take a little more? So I did, another 30 mgs. That is about 110 mgs. Well, another 30 minutes passed, and still only mild effects. 'Well, I feel happy, and loving but I guess this is all that I'm gonna fe... oHH GODOD!!!'
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At about 5:30. that shit hit so hard and so fast. The first thing I noticed was everything on the TV was moving faster than usual. Like it was moving twice the speed. I thought it was the TV at first, but when I looked around the room and out the window and saw EVERYTHING moving that fast, I knew it wasn't the TV, it was me. It was like everything was on fast forward. Suddenly the outlines of everything started spinning and rotating and morphing. The music on TV from a commercial triggered twirling spiraling crystals everywhere in my line of sight. My heart rate jumped up to about 160 bpm. I broke out in a cascade sweat. I got double vision and everything was shaking. I got REALLY nervous. My life actually flashed before my eyes because it was so intense... TOO intense. Then I was thinking, shit... should I have mixed mescaline and MDMA? They are both phenylethylamines, plus LSD is kind of stimulating as it is... did I make a mistake by taking this? <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I was thinking, shit... should I have mixed mescaline and MDMA? They are both phenylethylamines, plus LSD is kind of stimulating as it is... did I make a mistake by taking this?</div></div> Am I gonna have a heart attack? I got seriously nervous. I had taken MDMA before, like I said, even this batch, but this was too much. I got a very bad feeling that I had done something really wrong. I lost sight of the fact that the come up on pure MDMA can be a little rough and jarring, and that it would probably level out in about 5 or 10 minutes maybe. But I couldn't think straight. I was on serious overload. I freaked out and ran over to my drawer and immediately popped two 5 mg Valiums and laid down and started breathing as slow and deep and talked myself down as well as I could. After about 15 minutes my body started calming down. I still felt the MDMA, but it wasn't as intense. I probably could have gotten away with just one Valium, but I freaked. Even then, after the Valium, I was laying in my bed, my eyes rolled back, my lip quivering, my jaw grinding, sweating, trying to talk to myself down and sounding like I had a mental disorder when the words came out. It was like a continuous orgasm throughout my entire body. It felt good and bad at the same time.
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I called my brother who is a teenager who hadn't tried any form of ecstasy yet and was still down the beach with my parents and I thoroughly convinced him and his friends to NOT take his MDA which he was planning on doing down the shore at the teen night club. Mostly because I was paranoid for him and was sure that everyone WOULD know when it kicked in if they took it - the bouncers at the club, who would possibly kick them out and/or call the cops, our parents, and who knows whatever else some asshole would do if they saw a couple of skinny teenagers too fucked up and high on E to do anything to protect themselves. I was rolling hard so I guess my parent mindset kicked in for him (and I don't even have any kids). Considering he's still young, it certainly wouldn't have been a good thing at all. I convinced him against it considering what I had just experienced (and what I was still experiencing) and felt better about it afterwards. After my MDMA started wearing off a little more, I took some more Kratom, a normal dose, and then felt alright after that kicked in. I danced with myself in the room for awhile and listened to music, and finally was able to relax a little.
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I then got the idea in my head that well, why not top the night off with some DMT? The vape-pen was already packed with it, and I was feeling pretty relaxed from all the residual effects of everything else I had taken. I turned the lights off and finished the load (which was probably somewhere around 50 mg or so) in 2 pulls.
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I laid back and closed my eyes. The first thing I saw was a serious of kaleidoscopic circles. They morphed into what looked like the ceiling of some sort of strange alien laboratory. A strange creature was above me, looking down at me. I immediately realized I was being observed and experimented on. It was a strange creature, looking almost like a serious a multicolored ribbons and tentacles morphing into each other, kind of like strands of DNA but smoother around the edges, no 'ladder' type things. Anyway a big part of a brown ribbon came down and brushed my face, or did something to my face, near my nose, and then I was elevated of the table and saw the creature morph and merge into energy whih pointed to the right. It kept pointing to the right and moved to the right so with my eyes still closed I turned my head to the right, and was presented with more of those same creatures sitting around what looked like a small table. They were discussing something important in a language I didn't understand. However, I got the message that in exchange for allowing them to observe me, they would give me something in return. This in my opinion turned out to be some sort of ancient knowledge, or so it seemed. That's the impression and feeling I got. One of the creatures, a female, stated something about 3 men. There was an origin of 3 men, though I wasn't sure who or what or from where, or even if they were men in the human sense. Then it seemed as if she opened her mouth, put her hands on her cheeks and started screaming, though it sounded like a low hum. I got the feeling she was being extradited by the others. She flew up and became what we know as rain, which formed into a tree of some sort, sort of like a palm tree, whih then became a flowering palm tree, and faded off into the distance, again to the right. That's when the DMT mostly wore off. What did this mean?
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Before going to bed I had orange juice with some Maqui berry powder mixed in (strongest antioxidant berry in the world), made some chamomile tea, took some 5-HTP (about 200 mg) mixed with Vitamin B6 and just relaxed and watched TV the rest of the night. I did try masturbating, which took me about 2 and 1/2 hours to finish. Being on everything I was on, I really shouldn't have been surprised. I finally fell asleep around 2:30 in the morning, and woke up 2 hours late for work. Oops.
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I was pretty tired that whole next day, a little out of it, and I had kind of a shitty headache, but all in all not too bad. I think I took too much MDMA considering I had mescaline (another phenylethylamine) in my system and LSD which also makes one more sensitive to everything. If I had just taken 60 or maybe 70 mg I think it would have been a better experience and more manageable.
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Anyway, it's been a few days now and I honestly say I feel better than I did before that day. I feel like I am closer to who I was before that shitty trip last year, and I feel that I have more power to stop taking Kratom as well, which I plan to do starting tomorrow. It did help me see that I shouldn't need drugs on a regular basis, even something as mild as Kratom, and that eventually it will be very easy to live life without them. I currently have a lot of goals I am striving and working towards, so it is a good thing. Many people would listen to my story and see an addict using rationalization, justification or whatever for just taking more drugs, but I consider psychedelics and even MDMA to be very different kinds of drugs than say heroin or cocaine, or even Kratom. 'A drug is a drug is a drug' is not always necessarily true I feel. Psychedelics and empathogens certainly can be very beneficial and have their place if used correctly and responsibly. I feel stronger, and clearer and ready to move on now. There will still be more trips and rolls in the future, but I need the addictive stuff out of my life. And I will forever be wondering about those 3 men. A Psychedelic Catharsis of Mystery and Intensity indeed.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2014</td><td width="90">ExpID: 104105</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 29</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 27, 2021</td><td>Views: 919</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=104105&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=104105&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">MDMA (3), LSD (2), Mescaline (36) : Alone (16), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">vaporized</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(extract)</b></td>
</tr>
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<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 cig.</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">125 lb</td>
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I want to start by saying that I have had a lot of experience with LSD, and I was in a depression because of my mother recently passing away. Following a long break I wanted to trip hard. I bought a 10 strip of LSD and was warned by my dealer that they were very strong, but having a doubt since most if not all dealers say it's very strong, decided to eat 2. I was at home on a summer morning with no plans and was ready to trip. I take a few hits of a dab pen, put the tabs in my mouth and run a bath to ease into the trip. I have ginger ale to aid with my nausea and I get ready. Nothing could prepare me for what would come next.
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I am watching The Office on my phone as I start to feel it. First effects were slight nausea and general feeling of unease. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I start to feel it. First effects were slight nausea and general feeling of unease.</div></div> Then without warning I was catapulted into a psychedelic headspace.
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I started to panic because my mind was slipping away from me and the nausea was increasing, as I am constantly drinking the ginger ale. The Office starts to make no sense at all, seeming like random scenes with no context whatsoever, I start to get paranoid as I am starting to forget even who I am. About 30 minutes pass, where I am trying to stay calm as the world around me warps and glows into something I couldn't recognize. My phone dies and shows a strange message I had never seen before or after. A URL is at the top directing me to apple support, so I leave my bathroom to use my computer to follow the link. As I walk I notice I am very dizzy and my visuals are incredible. A picture of my wall has its contents spilling out onto the wall and floor.
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I get to my computer to enter the URL when I get this feeling that I am dying. How and why I think this is a struggle to explain, but I had thought that I had died and was being told via google. I remember thinking, “The User will have realized that he is dead” along with some other less coherent thought I struggle to remember. My heart dropped and panic set in. I threw my phone and ran away from my computer. My heart was racing as I sat on my bathroom floor begging God to save me. After doing this for about 10 minutes, I finally started to calm down. I got back into the bathtub and stared at the wall in silence. Time slips by and I start forgetting who and what I am. I feel as though I am on a rollercoaster in my mind in hell, switching lives with people and forgetting everything about me. I was totally bare and had no concept of anything. My thoughts were incoherent and were gibberish. I remember opening my eyes and looking at my body, confused because I wasn’t sure who or what I was. I felt like my Brain had completely had a factory reset, not even understanding I was a human. When I would close my eyes I would see the most elaborate art surrounding me.
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As the trip gets less intense, I relearn every aspect of life. This started with emotion, and the first emotion I learned was sadness. I remember seeing a little orange symbol to describe the emotion, a mental image that has burned into my brain. Following that I learned about death, and how terrible of a thing it is. I learned what it meant to hate and what it is to love. I felt like a baby discovering the world for the first time. I then remembered that my mom had passed and was confused on whether that should bother me, or if I am overreacting to feel so bad. I felt like my life was being wasted. Following the peak I went to talk to my brother. We were sitting on the back porch, and the sky was blue and there was a cool breeze running through the air. I was mesmerised by the beauty I was beholding. The tree leaves moving in the wind looked like infinite geometric patterns going into themselves and I asked my brother many questions. My brother and I have different moms, and I had asked him if it was a big deal that she had passed. He responds by saying it's a huge deal and it's okay to be sad about it. Then I asked him if he thought that I was falling behind other people my age, and he said nobody has it figured out and not to worry. This was one of the most calming and reassuring experiences in my life. After this I listened to music, smoked a cigarette, and then cleaned my room after weeks of neglect. I felt good for the first time in a long time. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I felt good for the first time in a long time.</div></div>
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That night I had been smoking weed and relaxing and watching a Terrence McKenna video, where he discussed how schizophrenic people used to be a major part in a tribe, and acted as a shaman. After him saying this my heart dropped, like when I had thought I was dying. A few days following the trip I had anxiety related to that, which has now subsided. The trip, even though it was scary, had a very positive impact on me. I was out of my depressive rut and was back into a schedule, working out again, and had a much better outlook on life. I owe this trip a lot, it shocked me back to life, even if it did so by killing me.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2021</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115822</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 19</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 29, 2021</td><td>Views: 872</td></tr>
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Depression (15), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)</td></tr>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 glasses</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Beer/Wine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
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<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
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<!-- Start Body -->
I've been curious about acid ever since I was in high school but has never been granted the opportunity to experience it. Being 23 years old and living in a small Australian suburb I often wonder and even worry whether I'll ever get to try acid. I've done weed, speed and ecstasy but never anything beyond this. The idea of hallucinating fascinates me and movies like Fear and Loathing are my cup of tea. The other week I decided to send some stray messages around to some mates to see if they could get hold of any lsd. One of my mates immediately replied with a positive answer. I was over whelmed with the thought of getting some fuking acid! He said he’d just got some new stuff in that was %80 mdma and %20 acid. I was disappointed to hear that only %20 of the trip was acid but was still obviously quite keen to try it. He also said that they were $35 each which I knew was overpriced for acid, however the price was quite unconcerning to me really.
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So the other day I rang old mate and he said he had sold all of the tabs but had saved me 1.5. At 8pm Friday night my mate came round and warned me to take only have half because it was strong he said. I found this quite strange considering the percent ratio. I got my usual weekly supply of e’s along with the 1.5 tabs. Being a humble pill taker I often double drop to get the effect and thought that I better take at least one whole tab. Another mate R was over at the time getting some pills and said that he would like half as well. So I traded him a half of the tab for half of a pill. The tabs were tiny just under 1 cm squared and was a white piece of paper with a red love heart on it.
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I was probably about 4 beers up at this point and me and R drove to his place to work out what we should do for the night. I didn’t really care what I did that night as this was my first acid experience. No more than 5 minutes had passed before we eagerly dropped the tabs. The time was about 8.30pm. I put it on my tongue and rolled it around and it tasted a bit bitter but not as bitter as I thought it would. When the taste had gone I swallowed the paper. A good 40 minutes passed before we could feel anything. This was my mates R’s first acid time too so he was a bit skeptical. I was sitting at the table watching tv and R was pacing around the room almost agitated. I kept saying what are you doing? Sit down. And he didn’t really reply.
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J rang R and was talking to him on the phone and R looked at me and said that it was starting to kick in. I agreed and we both begun to get energy waves. Similar to the come on feeling I get with pills. We decided to go get some drinks around the corner, R wasn’t drinking but I was a bit weary of the acid kicking in when he was driving. We pulled up at the drive through and sat looking at the display piece of the car. Every object or panel or design in the car began to literally move. The colours had this amazing fluro 3D tweak. 2 six packs of OP rum please, I said to the drivethru guy. Me and R both laughed and commented on how the car was moving.
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We got back to R’s house and J and C were waiting out the front to collect their pills. Me and R both started laughing and we all went inside. As soon as I got in the kitchen I was confronted and absorbed with an amazing set of visuals. The table was constantly flowing and moving, and waves of fluro purple and green and orange smothered the room. J and C asked me what I was doing as I was standing in the kitchen for over 10 minutes just staring at things. I told them how the table was moving.
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Everything was alive! It was like someone had just opened a big motherfucking can of worms. Everything was spilling out of everything and constantly moving. I looked at the floor and it was inundated with holes and maggot type movements. Like a boneyard setting or something. Unreal! I was literally speechless just soaking in all of these visuals. I looked at my skin and it was moving too, fluro blue worms were inconspicuously moving around under my skin. It was amazing. During all of this I was continuously called by another mate A to get them pills and said we would meet up with them soon.
<br>
<br>
Me R, C and J drove to A’s place. I believe it was peaking at this point and A came out and talked to us. He then went inside and I followed and soon as I hit the lights through his door A’s room had turned into another living breathing moving colourful sanctuary. I looked at A’s face and it was moving and blurry, and he started saying something but it was almost in slow motion. And I couldn’t hear what he said I just looked at him with utter confusion. His face was warping out and his skin was yellowish. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I just looked at him with utter confusion. His face was warping out and his skin was yellowish.</div></div> It reminded me of the scene in Fear and Loathing where he trips out on the cash lady. This was actually happening I thought. My first acid experience. It was as good if not better than I had expected.
<br>
<br>
I had decided that this acid was quite secure and clean. I doubt R was experiencing the level I was, and knew that taking half would be a waste of time really. As this was my first time I didn’t really care what my friends were doing as I was consumed with the surreal visual hallucinations that the mighty LSD had promised. Perhaps that statement was a bit too light as I found myself sitting in a ferry terminal carpark at 12.00am on a Friday night by myself. Between these visuals, paranoid friends, and pill and weed searching I had found myself separated from R, J, C and A.
<br>
<br>
A and his friends dragged me to the ferry terminal where they were going to a full moon party on the island. As much of this idea probably would have been perfect while on acid, I was not prepared to just jump on a fuking ferry and cruise off so I stopped following them and sat on the grass. If I were appropriately dressed, funded and prepared I may of gone with them but did not think it was a good idea otherwise. So here I am first time on acid and I'm peaking, probably, by myself. How sad I thought.
<br>
<br>
I soon started to feel that I been betrayed and left behind. It was at this point I knew some people freak out and have a ‘bad trip’. I was actually quite confused and couldn’t really work out why I even got in the car with A and his mates. It all happens so fast and I just kinda go with the flow. I had never felt a feeling of time loss as much as I did at this point. Obviously I should of stayed with R and J and C. Anyway I realized I had kinda fuked that up so I had to find a way home. And I only had about six dollars in my wallet, of course, so this was yet to be another mission in itself. Oi (*&amp;^%&amp;*&amp;^%) G yelled out.
<br>
<br>
I walked over to G and looked into his pupil enlarged demon pill eyes and wondered whether he was on acid too but doubted it. I didn’t even tell him I was on acid. I didn’t even really care. I got home and tried to work out what I should do. I tried calling my mates but I couldn’t get on to any of them. The hallucinations were still thriving and I was again captivated by the room I was in. My general vision was – objects were a bit blurry, colourful and warping. But if I focused in on an object it would start doing it’s own thing. Almost like I could control the visuals of each object. When I focused on the right speaker of my stereo it moulded into a face that kept changing and moving. It moved in waves with intervals of 1 second. Like it was posing for me or something. It resembled a carton Disney type creature. Kind of like Pinocchio.
<br>
<!--
<br/>
<br/>
If you've seen that prediction lsd movie of the guy in the cloak looking into the mirror thats what it's pretty much like.I didn't stare in the mirror for more 10 seconds cause it was starting to freak me out a bit. And i was unsure to what it might lead to.
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
<br/>
-->
<br>
I didn’t sleep that night and visuals had returned to normal by the late morning. The hangover was nothing worse than your normal pill binger. In fact the hang over was quite neglectable. Anyway cut a long story short, that night was definitely the best drug experience, possibly my best night I've ever had. The visuals were orgasmic. A definite thumbs up. Will I try it again? Definitely. Will I plan my night better next time? Absolutely =)
<br>
<br>
<span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. <a href="/chemicals/show_image.php?i=dmt/dmt_contraindications1.gif">Don't do it!</a>]</span><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2007</td><td width="90">ExpID: 66063</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 23</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 6, 2021</td><td>Views: 474</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=66063&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=66063&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Various (28), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">5 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/amanitas/">Amanitas - A. muscaria</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(capsule)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 cig.</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/salvia/">Salvia divinorum</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(extract)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">170 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I recently acquired some blotter, which I was told were 300ug per tab -- I doubted that, more likely it was around 100ug. Anyway, I placed one sublingually and held it there about an hour and a half. Then I chewed it to mush and swallowed. I then swallowed about 5g of dried amanita muscaria powder in gelcap form.
<br>
<br>
I waited about half an hour, then smoked a fair amount of cannabis sativa out of a bong. I went outside and had a cigarette in my driveway.
<br>
<br>
Patterms in the grass began to appear and everything began to take on a very interesting appearance. Colors were brighter, lines more well defined, and it was very pleasant.
<br>
<br>
I went back inside, and loaded about 1/4 gram of 15x salvia into my bong. I hit it with a lighter, making sure to keep the flame in direct contact while I inhaled. I managed to get 3 hits out of it, leaving behind white ash.
<br>
<br>
I barely made it to my bed, and lost my awareness. The hallucinations were WEIRD -- but interesting, and not really terrifying so much as intensely confusing. Have you ever had a sudden realization that made your spine tingle? It was like that, but thousands of times stronger.
<br>
<br>
It was also intensely familiar. It is hard to explain, but I went to a 'place' on Salvia that gave a very strong feeling of deja vu. I felt like this is the REAL reality, this salvia space, and everything before the trip was just a sick joke. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I felt like this is the REAL reality, this salvia space, and everything before the trip was just a sick joke.</div></div> I knew a secret that you aren't supposed to know, a secret kept from me for my own good, and now the gods are laughing at me. It's like tasting the fruit, only to recognize that you've been naked the entire time.
<br>
<br>
In this salvia space, I got these sudden realizations, and it felt IMPERATIVE that I remember them. I became convinced that there are an infinite number of parallel realities, all of them predestined and static, but that our conscious decisions move our perception in between realities. This thing-perceiving exists prior to and without any memories, but acquires the memories of the host that it exists within in each reality. Time moves according to the pace of decision making. These realities exist without meaning, randomly within the infinite nothing, having come into existence without reason, and will return to nothing. The only meaning is to perceive them.
<br>
<br>
Then, I was hit with all of these sudden realizations about myself. My mind was flooded with thoughts, and I instantly knew the answer to every question. It is not pleasant to realize that you have been lying to yourself. It's not pleasant to realize the very finite nature of your life, the meaninglessness of your hobbies, the extent of your flaws.
<br>
<br>
The other interesting thing is the way in which it changes perception of self. Close your eyes, and think about your consciousness. Where is it coming from? That place behind your eyes? Imagine your entire body as just a thing you 'have', not as a part of you. Salvia is like seeing what is beyond sight, it's like being a brain in a vat, disconnected from reality. Where are you? Do you even exist at all?
<br>
<br>
There is a passage by Mark Twain that best sums up the experience:
<br>
<br>
&gt;'Life itself is only a vision, a dream.'
<br>
&gt;It was electrical. By God! I had had that very thought a thousand times in my musings!
<br>
&gt;'Nothing exists; all is a dream. God--man--the world--the sun, the moon, the wilderness of stars--a dream, all a dream; they have no existence. Nothing exists save empty space--and you!'
<br>
&gt;'I!'
<br>
&gt;'And you are not you--you have no body, no blood, no bones, you are but a thought. I myself have no existence; I am but a dream--your dream, creature of your imagination. In a moment you will have realized this, then you will banish me from your visions and I shall dissolve into the nothingness out of which you made me....
<br>
&gt;'I am perishing already--I am failing--I am passing away. In a little while you will be alone in shoreless space, to wander its limitless solitudes without friend or comrade forever--for you will remain a thought, the only existent thought, and by your nature inextinguishable, indestructible. But I, your poor servant, have revealed you to yourself and set you free. Dream other dreams, and better!
<br>
&gt;'You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks--in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present; you should have recognized them earlier.
<br>
&gt;'It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream--a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought--a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!'
<br>
&gt;He vanished, and left me appalled; for I knew, and realized, that all he had said was true.
<br>
<br>
The terrifying part was coming back to reality, recognizing that I was a human, then noticing that my heart was acting strange -- beating arrhythmically -- and I've been drooling all over myself, I was covered in cold sweat, couldn't stop spasming or shivering, and I had been crying and couldn't get up to dial 911 even if I wanted to. It was believing that I have just discovered the answer to everything, but the answer will be lost as I died shivering and alone.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2013</td><td width="90">ExpID: 99564</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 21</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 10, 2021</td><td>Views: 1,037</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=99564&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=99564&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Salvia divinorum (44), Amanitas - A. muscaria (70), LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 cups</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/coffee/">Coffee</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">5 </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">135 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Bad / Psychotic Trip
<br>
<br>
<!-- So this takes place on 4/19/2020, -->I had been living with a group of four-ish people for around 2 months when this happened, kinda just chilling at the same house. I was really into one of them. It was a pretty normal day to begin with. Nothing major happened that day to affect my mindset. I'd say I was pretty positive/maybe a little anxious going into this. At around 6:00 pm I drank 3 small cups of black coffee trying to get a caffeine buzz and smoked weed with it.
<br>
<br>
Sometime after that, we left for another friend's house. They had come back from their plug and had a sheet of unperforated LSD. It kinda just looked like construction paper, it was definitely thicker than a normal tab, and had brown staining on the back of it. It was tasteless though. They offered us pieces for free, and the piece I took was probably about the size of my thumbnail, I guess if it was cut into regular tabs it would've been about four or five. I think we took it at around 11:00 pm. My memory from the peak is fragmented, so midnight to 3 am is just roughly in order.
<br>
<br>
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<br>
<br>
11:00 pm I honestly wasn't too worried right after taking it. I was just felt like whatever would happen would happen. I'd just trip harder than last time I did acid. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I honestly wasn't too worried right after taking it. I was just felt like whatever would happen would happen. I'd just trip harder than last time I did acid.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
11:30 pm Someone else (who was on around 3x as much as me, and dropped before we got there) seemed like he was tripping TOO hard. He was starting to say things like "wow", "oh my god", "I didn't know this was possible", and confirming that the acid was way stronger than they thought it was gonna be. This worried me, cause he has done ten strips before. He was still with us though and I think he ended up having an ok trip.
<br>
<br>
I misinterpreted his reactions, and kinda took it more as like we had taken too much and were gonna not be ok. Hearing this while coming up really hard gave me thoughts of od'ing / fake acid (even though it was completely tasteless).
<br>
<br>
11:40 pm After that happened I just remember the visuals getting more and more intense, and starting to panic quietly. My entire vision starts to like shake/vibrate and kinda twist then reset back before twisting again.
<br>
<br>
12:00 am Sometime around midnight I must've just been sitting there looking scared asf / shaking. I have really bad social anxiety, so idk why I didn't just say I wasn't having a good time. But I started just giving glances / looking at people to try to get someone to notice. Someone asked if I was okay, and I remember saying no. Like it was just getting more intense, past what I thought should be happening. I think I tried laying down in the bathroom to calm down, which felt nice but ultimately did nothing to help.
<br>
<br>
I also took a couple hits of weed at this point to try and calm down (didnt know at the time) and after that my memory just goes out the window, I don't remember too much of what I was thinking during this, and I don't really know what order the next sequence of events comes in:
<br>
<br>
12:00 - 3:00 am So one thing that happened is, I kept looping walking between their living room, their outside porch, and I think the bathroom. Not really talking to anyone that I can remember. At one point I ended up standing in the lawn just saying the word "hospital" to my friend cause it felt like my skin was burning / I am have a heart attack. (I really think high doses of caffeine are not good to mix with LSD, and probably caused a panic attack.)
<br>
<br>
I remember standing outside, going between my skin freezing and burning, and my friend (the one I liked) gave me a jacket, and I couldn't figure out how to put it on. So I just ended up wearing it like a blanket. Also, I couldn't remember his name or who he was, I recognized him as someone I know still, but not who. I also couldn't really remember who I was or who anyone was.
<br>
<br>
I think I ended up in the living room and sat down after this. I remember hitting a bowl one more time and then just closing my eyes and going into a void. After this, I started thinking I was a god and having delusions that I could fly, or just will anything to happen if I thought hard enough.
<br>
<br>
I also felt simultaneously that I had obviously overdosed on Nbome or something and was dead now, and stuck in some purgatory version of my friend's house cause I died there. Where I would be stuck for eternity as some fucked up test of patience.
<br>
<br>
With that in mind I started trying to run outside in 30 degree weather / fly / jump out the window. They started trying to keep me inside which was a great idea, but in the acid headspace, everyone felt like they had been replaced by alternate versions of themselves, trying to keep me stuck in this place for eternity. I was just being sus as fuck apparently. Someone told me that during this I performed a very graceful box jump onto their table. I also had my shirt off at some point and lost my bra, and was trying to take off more I remember feeling like I was dead/going to end up in hell after that night, and was trying to hold onto literally anything from this world that meant something to me. Like I was grabbing for things / people, and I think every time someone stopped me from grabbing something it felt like they were doing it on purpose to mock me. Eventually between this, and the trying to run outside, someone had to hold me down. I remember him saying something during this and it sounded like his voice was pitch shifted down which scared tf outta me.
<br>
<br>
After this they got me into the living room, and laying down on the couch again. I was still having god delusions AFAIK and remembered thinking at least everything would be ok. I still thought I was in purgatory though, and going to be reborn as someone else, somewhere else in the world.
<br>
<br>
3:00 am This is the first time I remember looking at the clock after coming out of the peak. I just kinda came back to myself while lying on the couch. I felt like all my memories / who I was come back to me. I was still tripping really hard. I ended up just staring at the TV which was like cycling though different Netflix shows to watch, and just enjoying the visuals on some of the backgrounds. They also had a popcorn ceiling, so I ended up just looking at those two things for a couple hours while trying to think if what just happened was real.
<br>
<br>
6:00 am Someone came in to get something / check on me. I think they asked if I was good and said hi and I replied hesitantly, still feeling kinda unsure if they were the real version(?) of themselves. I kinda got out of that though thinking, okay, even if they aren't, at least everything is back to normal, lol.
<br>
<br>
8:00 am I go back into their kitchen where a couple people are sitting. Sometime around 7 am my friend took my car to get back to where we were staying. It just feels like the normal comedown of acid now. Visuals are mostly gone unless I focus on something. At this point, I don't realize that everything that happened last night actually happened yet. We end up just smoking weed and sitting quietly / listening to music.
<br>
<br>
12:00 pm He gets back and I drive us back to where we were staying. I kinda learn a little about what happened last night. I think the embarrassment kept me from asking anymore though. I'm tired af and just go to sleep as soon as we get back.
<br>
<br>
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
<br>
<br>
I still don't really know what happened that night, and still haven't learned too much. I don't think I really got anything from it other than trauma, most of the trip was just panicking and being in pain it seems like. I don't even remember any visuals from the peak cause my memory just got blanked for most of it.
<br>
<br>
I've tripped on LSD / LSA / mushrooms since then and still have good / beneficial trips so at least it hasn't ruined psychedelics for me <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">at least it hasn't ruined psychedelics for me</div></div>, or brought out any mental illness (other than making my anxiety worse for a couple months). I guess just be careful combining LSD with caffeine / weed. I think the caffeine definitely didn't help with the anxiety, but the weed is what really pushed me into losing control it seems. I don't really know what to think happened that night still. I felt like I'd gone "insane" but not schizophrenia insane, I wasn't hearing voices or anything. Was that just a panic attack or some kinda temporary psychosis?<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2020</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115930</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 19</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 16, 2021</td><td>Views: 1,105</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=115930&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=115930&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Cannabis (1), Coffee (173) : Combinations (3), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">Repeated hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(flowers)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">125 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Let me explain the events that took place yesterday, Tuesday October 9th, 2007. It all began a couple weeks ago when I got tickets to the Widespread Panic show coming to Missoula. At this point, I knew that many of my friends were going to be eating LSD for the show, but I was determined that I would not. I am a daily cannabis user and I have done numerous psychedelics before including salvia, mushrooms, morning glory seeds and many others. I had done a lot of research about the positive and negative effects of acid and decided I would try it someday. Another factor that lead me to try it was that my good friend from high school told me he was going to try it for his first time soon. We are good buddies, and it sounded like a good idea that we both experience it at about the same time.
<br>
<br>
Having accidentally stumbled upon a great hookup for acid, I was pumped up to give it a try. I bought two hits of blotter, one for me and one for my friend. At this time there was going to be a Slightly Stoopid concert in town. The plan had been to eat the blotter for the concert. This fell through, however, when two friends who are experienced users ate two hits of the same paper and had no affects whatsoever. This made my friend and I decide that we didn't want to eat it for the concert and be disappointed if it was bunk. We decided to eat it on a lazy Friday afternoon, assuming that we wouldn't be effected.
<br>
<br>
We started sucking on the paper at about 1 PM. It was unusually thick, however, and didn't dissolve fully even after 45 minutes in our mouths. We waited and waited, anticipation building wildly. After about an hour and a half we decided it was in fact bad acid and we decided to wander down to the riverbank and smoke a joint. Now it's not that I wasn't feeling it at all, it's just that it was a very slight dreamy feeling, a 'tease' if you will. After we smoked the joint, though, things began to change. I was far too high for it to be attributed to just weed. There was a marching band tuning up in the field, producing loud, scattered notes. I felt each sound, and could not stop laughing no matter how hard I tried. When we were back on campus, it was obvious that the acid was affecting us slightly. We played ping pong for a while, threw a frisbee, and ate dinner in a busy cafeteria. Everything we did was skewed by some strange energy. Things appeared slightly different, whether it was the lighting, a bizarre private thought, or a strange sensation when a material brushed across my skin. This was my first introduction to LSD. However, I knew that this was not a real 'trip', and in my opinion I had not experienced the drug yet.
<br>
<br>
When the guy who sold us this bunk acid got back from the concert he was at that weekend, everyone he sold it to reported back to him that it was no good. Being a good person, he refunded me and my friend with new stuff, this time in the form of a drop on a sugar cube. My other friends that didn't feel it last time were also refunded and tried the new batch and said that they were totally gone. It was good acid. Knowing this, I was very carefully planning when I was going to eat it. The obvious option was the upcoming Widespread Panic concert I had just gotten tickets to, which is what most of my friends were doing. However, I was dissuaded from this at first because I had classes until 6 and I didn't want to stay up all night tripping on a Tuesday. I was determined that I wouldn't eat the acid for the concert. That lasted until the day of the concert came.
<br>
<br>
This epic Tuesday started off like any other day. I went to class where I had to give a speech, which felt great to get out of the way. The rest of my day was packed with classes as well. At about 3 PM, one of my friends who was going to eat acid at the concert asked me if I would be able to find some for him and a couple other guys. Knowing such a good hookup, I quickly made the trip to his house to get the goods. When I was there we talked about how I had decided not to eat it for the concert that night. Somewhere in the next half hour, however, I changed my mind. I don't know exactly why. It was a combination of realizing I didn't have much to do the next day, that I was in a good mood, that all my other friends would be tripping, and that Widespread Panic is basically made for tripping. I rode back to campus and delivered the acid. I then had to go to my last class of the day. I sat through the lecture in anticipation of the upcoming concert and how my trip would be.
<br>
<br>
After class, I hurried back to my dorm to pick up my hit of acid and some weed to roll into a joint. I went over to another friend's room to use his grinder, roller, and papers. The people in the room were all chilling and watching a movie while looking forward for the concert. As we were grinding up the chronic one of them walked back into the room from the hall and commented 'damn, it reeks of chronic in here'. 'Hell yeah' we all thought, not knowing that that scent was about to change us forever.
<br>
<br>
We had finished rolling our joints and were walking out of the door to go eat dinner and drop the acid. When we opened the door, we heard 'Nope, Nope, get back in there.' Who the fuck is this guy? Some authority figure (assumedly an RA) was forcing us to stay in the room. 'Why?' we asked. 'You'll find out soon enough, just get back in' was the reply. Only then did we know we were fucked. We closed the door and started the mad dash to ditch our drugs. In that room, there was about 7 hits of acid, a couple eights of weed, and a baby weed plant. We did not want to get searched. After stashing all the stuff in places we hoped would make it hard to find, one of the kids who's room we were in was called out into the hall by the guy guarding the door. We all looked at one another, clueless to what was going on.
<br>
<br>
Next, the other kid who lived in that room was called out. The next few minutes were some of the longest of my life. I was super pumped up on adrenaline. The next thing we knew, the kid was coming back into the room. 'What the fuck is going on?' we asked. It turns out that the RA had smelled the chronic we were grinding from outside the room, which gives them authority to call the cops. The cops basically told the kid 'We know you have weed in there, so either you give it to me or we search the whole room.' The kid was coming into the room to get his small amount of bud to turn himself in and save the rest of us. A true fucking hero. He got a ticket for possession of marijuana, but it was the lightest charge possible. Also, Missoula is very liberal and has slack marijuana laws. But still, this kid saved our asses.
<br>
<br>
As you can imagine, this put quite a damper on the mood. At this point, I was uncertain as to whether I was in a good mindset to eat the acid. I went back to my room to ditch my bud, debating what I was about to do. When I returned to my friend's room, most of them had already eaten the sugar cubes. The friend who I tried the bad acid with and I both said 'fuck it' and ate the cubes. They were quite tasty, and from this point on I was excited to trip. We went to get dinner before the concert, and the other guys were already feeling their first waves. I was totally sober having just eaten it, but I could feel that something was about to happen. By the time we finished dinner and were walking to the concert, I was feeling a strange tingly buzz. The other guys were saying that they were feeling it quite strong already.
<br>
<br>
We got into the building that the concert was going to be in and were faced with a new challenge. Most of the crew had floor level tickets, which is where all the fun was going to be. Two other friends and I had balcony tickets, which meant we would just sit in chairs and watch the concert from above, which was not cool. We got an idea, though. When you showed the staff your ticket for the floor, you were given a wristband. We called our friends on the floor and told them to sneak out and give us their tickets. This way, they all still had wristbands and we could get onto the floor. It worked like a charm. I was starting to feel a little weird by the time we got to the concert floor, and had a great time talking to people there, listening to the opening DJ, and paying attention to my mindset.
<br>
<br>
The setup for the concert was phenomenal. There were all sorts of lights, colors, patterns, and trippy objects all around. As the music progressed, so did my trip. I would notice something out of the corner of my eye, and it wouldn't register or it would just be confusing. My visual field had definitely changed by this point. Neon colors from glow sticks and the patterns that the projectors were putting on the walls and ceiling were taking on a new light. They were more vivid, and the trails from moving glow-sticks would remain in the air for longer than they should have. I was smoking weed that was passed to me this whole time, which bumped up my high a lot. My mind was surprisingly clear, but certain things I noticed would seem really bizarre. For example, there were swirling patterns in the back of the stage, and whenever I looked at them I would see 'ghosts' or 'souls'. This started to freak me out, and I distracted myself with happier thoughts to avoid a bad trip. Another crazy sight was caused by white lights shining into the audience. For some reason, when the light was shined on me I would see the band as a negative image. They had electric blue skin and everything else was black and white. Another weird sight was when the lead singer and guitarist began to appear to be changed. Its very hard to explain, but he appeared somewhere between being 2D, 4D, or just not actually there. It was super weird.
<br>
<br>
The concert was broken into two sets, and in between sets the opening DJ came out to play again. By the end of the first set, I was feeling disappointingly sober. This was easily remedied, however, when one of my friends (who also felt sober) and I decided to see what walking around would feel like. Then we realized we were definitely still going. The break between sets was hilarious. There was shit going on everywhere which created more stimuli to be misinterpreted in my mind. When the second set came on, I was in a great mood. I usually find it hard to truly enjoy myself in most situations I am in. At the concert, though, I was enjoying myself to no end. I was feeling love for everyone and everything around me and for myself.
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<br>
Sometime around then a few giant inflatable balls were being bounced around the crowd. They were huge, but they would slowly float down and then be punched back up into the air. One of them had a glow-stick in it, making it even trippier. I was captivated by the combination of the music and the floating balls, and my mind was racing. Right around this point I had a crazy epiphany: I realized that individual cells work together to form a collective consciousness or identity, and individual humans work together to form a conscious society. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I realized that individual cells work together to form a collective consciousness or identity, and individual humans work together to form a conscious society.</div></div> It is hard to explain, but I realized that humanity as a whole has its own personality, values, and consciousness. I realized this by watching everybody bounce the ball around and keep it in the air. I had numerous other bizarre thoughts, sights and feelings for the rest of the concert.
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<br>
When we were leaving the concert, it was obvious that half the crowd was as tripped out as I was. There was enough cheering, laughing, and dilated pupils to last a long time. When we were outside, a friend of mine who I hadn't talked to for a while called. I was trying to talk to him, but I couldn't really comprehend what he was saying even though I could hear him, so I said goodbye in confusion. The group of friends I was tripping with had decided while I was on the phone that we would finish the night by hiking a mountain and smoking a whole eighth. At this point, I was still pretty high but I was coming down and this sounded like a good idea. We then all split up to grab our coats and bud from our dorm rooms. We met back up and proceeded to walk to the mountain. On the way there, we saw quite a few people we knew who we stopped and talked with.
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<br>
Eventually however, we made it up the mountain. We were all set to smoke the eighth: we had a double percolating bong, some blunt wraps, and countless pipes. We smoked and smoked, reflecting on the night so far. Looking out at the city from my elevated vantage point was phenomenally trippy. The lights of the city were shimmering so intensely that I had trouble even looking at them. As we were smoking, we saw what looked like a helicopter in the distance. 'Shit, they're coming to arrest us on the mountain' we joked. The object was strangely shaped and had lights all over it and kept coming toward us. 'Wait, really. What the fuck is tt?' we asked. As we were watching this object come toward us, it started to dive down toward the city. We had no idea what we were seeing. It was dive-bombing right down into the middle of Missoula, getting closer and closer to the ground at an alarming speed.
<br>
<br>
We thought we were either seeing a UFO or a plane flying straight into the ground. It continued lower and lower until its lights were indistinguishable from the city lights. There was no explosion or sound whatsoever. It just completely disappeared. I still have no explanation as to what we saw. We dedicated all the weed we smoked to the kid who saved our ass from the cops earlier in the day and we had multiple moments of silence to reflect on what could have been if he had not been such a courageous friend. By this point I was just plain too high, and I had a killer headache and I was incredibly tired. Smoking so much weed seemed to have kicked the LSD back in a little bit, so I was tripping out. I curled up in a ball and massaged my head as we continued to smoke bud and chat for a significant amount of time.
<br>
<br>
When the time was right, we started on down the mountain. The terrain was ridiculously steep, and we could hardly believe we climbed up it. Just then we heard some strange noise. It sounded like a group of stringed instruments or wind-chimes or something like that, but we were on a mountain. After a few minutes of being really weirded out, we realized that there were three flag poles with strings flapping in the wind. Each pole had a different pitch, and all three together created a giant bass guitar. We listened to this natural music for a while, and then continued down to campus.
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<br>
As we got back near the dorms, I was completely wiped out. I was being drawn toward my bed in a dreamy state. We said our goodbyes and ended the night. I went to my room and fell asleep right away. This was one of the most insane days I have ever lived. It was a roller coaster of emotions, thoughts and senses. I look back and realize that I will never forget this day for the rest of my life. This experience has given me an optimistic attitude, and I look forward to see what other surprises my future holds.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2007</td><td width="90">ExpID: 66333</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 12, 2021</td><td>Views: 486</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=66333&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=66333&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : General (1), Combinations (3), Glowing Experiences (4), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">40 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/3cp/">3C-P</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:40</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Ondansetron</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:35</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">50 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">rectal</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/3cp/">3C-P</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:35</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">vaporized</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 6:50</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/trazodone/">Pharms - Trazodone</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 9:50</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">200 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/trazodone/">Pharms - Trazodone</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">175 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Previous experience: This is my 42nd recreational substance tried, my first time with 1-(3,5-Dimethoxy-4-propoxyphenyl)propan-2-amine . I have extensive experience with LSD and a few other tryptamines, ketamine, prescription opioids, a variety of amphetamines and RC stims, and a small amount of benzo experience. I vape weed most hours I'm awake. I have never done mescaline, 2C-X, DOX, or any FLY drug. <!-- You can see a complete breakdown in my posting history.--> I was a severe alcoholic for the better part of a decade, so I tend to find that I need higher doses to experience what others get with lower doses.
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Setting: I'm at home, comfortable, with my wife and pets. A bit nervous because of the extreme stimulation others seem to get.
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Set: I'm a mix of excited and nervous. I have Raynaud's syndrome, so I don't get great circulation in my extremities to begin with, especially during the cold winter months. As a result, I preloaded with 1000 mg l-citrulline and 400 mg magnesium, and I plan to add 500 mg l-arginine, and if things get bad 1 mg Prazosin. I'm hoping to use this trip to get over my writer's block or to get some work done around the house with the stimulation. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I'm hoping to use this trip to get over my writer's block or to get some work done around the house with the stimulation.</div></div>
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11:10 PM Sunday - Dosing 40mg by nose. It came as a clumpy white powder that sparkles in direct light. I used a mortar and pestle, but it was still a bit hard to totally break up due to the stickiness, and made sure to be judicious in choosing the most finely ground powder for insufflation. <!-- People say this ROA has more visuals and fewer negative side effects.--> I am also adding 100 ug of LSD swallowed, because there's a broad theme that people wish the substance had more visuals, and all reports of co-administration with other substances have produced far more positive reports, ones with less anhedonia and more euphoria (except many say weed makes this substance too vasoconstrictive, which is why I'm sticking with 1/3 of my usual LSD dose, and trying to keep the vapes out of sight; but I wouldn't be shocked if I break down and vape later). Holy shit this burns! Felt like snorting glass and I taste like I have blood in my post-nasal drip. 3-MEO-PCP was worse for burn, but this is the second worse I've personally experienced.
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11:20 - I feel like the back of my throat is chemical burned. Tears continue to stream down my face.
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11:30 - I'm starting to feel serene and the burning is subsiding. There's a slight breathing to my closet door. My hands are getting quite cold, as are my toes. My left bicep has started to ache and my stomach has a fluttering feeling. My hands are getting a little shaky.
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11:40 - I'm getting nauseated, a little. I feel an uncomfortable pressure around my heart. Nothing awful, just a little uncomfortable.
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11:45 - The sweating begins. I feel uneasy emotionally, but music is helping to keep me grounded. I'm noticing more texture in the notes, and especially the air between notes is becoming noteworthy. I find myself starting to cough and nearly vomit.
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11:50 - Taking 4mg Zofran. Noticing a lightness of body.
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12:00 AM Monday - There are some moments where I feel like this is a tidal wave that will crush me on down the line. And there are moments where I can feel like maybe this will end up in a nice ++++.
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12:20 - I threw up and feel much better for it. But I also feel like that may have just been round 1. I'm starting to notice the crackling shimmer of color I associate with LSD. I'm underwhelmed by how stimulated I am. I'm actually a little sleepy, if anything.
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12:50 - I mainly took this as a stimulant. so I'm pretty disappointed. Definitely some small psychedelia, but not much, mainly crackles of another screen or flashes of color periodically. My skin is a bit numb all over, this is maybe the mild opioid type high I've seen others allude to.
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1:45 - I boofed 50 mg more to see where we end up, may or may not do anything at this point. My vision is getting a lot brighter and my thoughts are getting more chaotic. I feel a strong desire to hang out with my wife, and we'll see how socializing works on this drug. I'm noticing my auditory imagination has grown; I'm imagining lots of those cavernous noises that are part of rap music like Travis Scott where the bass just sort of echoes through space. It's weird to have this auditory imagination, yet music is not enhanced one jot beyond its usual.
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4:50 - I rewatched Phantom Thread with my wife and had a lovely time. There was a nice opioid like body high (I tested and I don't think there's opiates in this) I was cursing this chemical as dull and a waste of money until I closed my eyes and allowed myself to be carried away by the soundtrack. There were DMT-like visuals. As the movie progressed I felt my high fade, but there's still a major lightness of body, mild euphoria, surfaces breathing and colors have been fading into pure white, as this is a very bright high. Smoking weed brought out nice curlicues of colorful wisps framing things. I'm struck in contrast to many previous reports at how sedating I've found this. I've been feeling sleepy all while feeling like I need to keep readjusting my body. There was a tightness and rigidity of my neck, pretty characteristic of stimulating drugs to me. There is no headspace to this drug; it's all body and visual. But at the same time I feel very calm and ok making commitments to change my life for the better. But it doesn't have the wow, I'm gonna change my life energy I get from a good trip. I think this would be a good substance to use in combo with the psychedelic of one's choosing at higher doses. In contrast to earlier reports, I've found the cardiovascular effects of this drug to be minimal. I feel like I could go a lot higher and it would provide a nice long-lasting body high underneath a more cerebral psychedelic (I think I'd have had a much better night if I had done my customary 300 ug in addition to this). But it's good that we START LOW! GO SLOW! (harm reduction PSA)
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6:00 - I take 100 mg Trazodone to sleep; I feel like I won't need it.
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7:00- I'm more awake than ever and I randomly jizzed while not even erect.
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7:30 - The sudden and intense arousal feels like an amphetamine, especially in terms of "the kinkier the better!" I masturbate three or four times to completion.
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9:00 - I take 200 mg more Trazodone and fall asleep somewhere around 10.
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2:30 PM - I wake to my alarm and must get up, but I feel I could sleep the rest of the day. At the same time, getting up is not hard, and I have an afterglow that is nice. I feel serene and mildly optimistic. My heart aches a little, especially when I vape cannabis.
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<br>
Summary - I would not recommend anyone run out to buy this chemical, but if you already have it, I think it could contribute a nice body high in combination with another psychedelic with more headspace at your usual dose. <!-- I suggest a dose of 50 mg or more to start; ROA I suggest is boofing. If you don't get where you want to go at first, it-->It seems possible to kick it up a bit by redosing even a couple hours into the experience. There were no immediate cardiovascular effects for me, but some damage showed up the next day that makes me hesitate to push the dose on this chemical too high. Closed eye visuals are where this drug shines, but they only emerged when I redosed.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2022</td><td width="90">ExpID: 116101</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 30</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 14, 2022</td><td>Views: 595</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=116101&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=116101&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">3C-P (320), LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:50</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis - Hash</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">75 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<!-- 450ug LSD and Hashish Experience
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<br/>
-->Setting: My apartment
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Set: Calm, no plans during the day in question and days after
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Sitter: My cat
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Other medications: No
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Prior experiences: Weed, hashish, proscaline, shrooms, ketamine, coke, speed, MDMA, ecstasy and nitrous.
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Two months prior to this experience I managed to score some good acid again from a reliable source after having been dry for roughly a year. During that hiatus I was very into Timothy Leary, Ram Dass and the likes from the 60's hippie era - particularly, the turn on / tune in / drop out philosophy. <!-- One of their practices back when they studied the psychedelic experience in Harvard was called the-->The Good Friday experiment<!-- . Basically, they took high amounts of acid or psilocybin every Friday in research purposes and reported back what they had experienced. This little experiment--> really inspired me, so I proceeded to dose every week or two for these two months, each time increasing the dosage.
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<br>
The experiment(s) went great, it felt rewarding and it felt like I was able to map out my inner world from these experiences. I always did the same thing - solo, in my bed with closed eyes. My spiritual ego that I seemed to have formed was in bliss.
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<br>
I was fairly confident on having experienced ego death during these experiences, but ... I was very naively wrong. In fact, I'd say that my trips prior to the one I’m about to write about was just boosting my ego. I was proud to be able to solo trip so much and so frequently while never having any bad trips. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I was proud to be able to solo trip so much and so frequently while never having any bad trips.</div></div> It felt rewarding, like I knew how to navigate these psychedelic landscapes without much effort.
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<br>
Then comes one late night in February back in 2020, where I decided to once again up the dosage - this time, to ~450ug, that more or less made me stop taking acid.
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1 hour prior to intake:
<br>
<br>
7:20 PM. While waiting for my cat to become sleepy, I start organizing the setting in my bedroom. I double check my music playlist for the evening, basically looking for possible alterations if any were to be of interest but it's looking good. I like to try to arrange my music playlist in an order with the intent of translating the experience's flow into a series of songs. The first 30 - 60 minutes are focused on open ambient tracks, to work as a meditative catalyst to still the mind. Then comes songs that have more rhythmic anchors to swing on, psybient stuff like Bluetech, Ott or Shpongle.
<br>
<br>
The setting is this:
<br>
<br>
I'm in my bed, to my right is my cat. In front of me besides my legs is my laptop with soothing videos running on fullscreen. The speaker is at the end of the bed, I also have in-ear headphones ready on my bed table. I barely have any lightning, just some purple-ish color vaguely filling the space in the room.
<br>
<br>
I have two Buddha's by my window located to my left side, surrounded by a couple of fake candles. I have them positioned in a way that makes it look like they're watching over me, it feels cozy.
<br>
<br>
The intake:
<br>
<br>
8:20 PM. I go to my kitchen and place four and a half of tabs underneath my tongue. I've never had that many tabs at once before, so saliva started to produce in my mouth and the tabs where kinda hard to keep track of. Nonetheless, I had the tabs in for roughly 40 minutes until I swallowed them with some water. Not much else to add here - just waiting ahead.
<br>
<br>
9:00 PM. (This is the last time I remembered the time this evening)
<br>
<br>
I laid in bed up until this point, just having my eyes closed and getting in a relaxed state. My last trip, which was 3 hits (~300ug), came on very fast so I expected it to come on even faster this time around due to the higher dose. I was feeling very vibrant, the waves of feelings felt bumpy and jittery. My heart rate started to increase. The intensity of feelings pouring in started getting a bit more turbulent. The music was ”breathing” in its volume, so I thought this meant I was at the end of the come-up and the beginning of the peak.
<br>
<br>
Maybe 10 minutes or so passes, and my spiritual boosted ego rationalized with no second thought that 450ug and 300ug felt rather similar, and that wasn't my plan this time! I wanted to go even deeper, otherwise what was the point of the increased dosage? So, I decided to smoke some hashish through my old wooden tobacco pipe to give the acid a little boost. (I always do this while tripping, but never with the results that followed).
<br>
<br>
I stand up and realize I already have a hard time walking due to the sheer amount of feelings and vibrant energy twirling around inside my body, it's like I'm walking in a windy field with rain and snow while forcing myself to walk through it. I make my way to the kitchen, over to the stove and proceed to grab my pre-prepared pipe getting ready for the hit. I take a single large hit from the pipe and hold it in, and I feel its effects immediately merge with the acid. Like pouring gas on a fire, everything exploded. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I take a single large hit from the pipe and hold it in, and I feel its effects immediately merge with the acid. Like pouring gas on a fire, everything exploded.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
The hit is so big and harsh that I start coughing and I never ever cough when taking a hit of weed or hashish on acid, it's like the acid removes that sense in the throat making you cough. By this time the effects of the acid starts reaching its true peak. That in combination of the hashish, the effects extrapolates into such intense tripping that I can barely hold myself together. They both intertwine in such a chaotic way, both going towards their respective peak.
<br>
<br>
I got really scared at this point because I had never had such an intense come-up prior to this, it felt very unfamiliar and there was nothing familiar to remind me of the reality that once was. I felt like buzzing electricity, every sensation turned up to 11.
<br>
<br>
I could barely walk, but was able to stumble over back to my bedroom and laid down, eyes closed, in front of my speaker.
<br>
<br>
The music is playing from my playlist, my cat is sleeping in the bed - all is good from the perspective of setting.
<br>
<br>
My set however, is getting pulled apart from every point of view imaginable. The part within me that steers the anchor was the very nature getting split in half and morphed inside out. The very notion or idea of who I was, was bending the space in which it found itself in.
<br>
<br>
The music was no longer an external input my neurological process translated to audible melody. It was just vibrations flowing into me, not being able to recognize it. There was nothing to grab on to.
<br>
<br>
In the midst of chaos, I realize I have to change my setting to influence my set, even though it on paper was flawless.
<br>
<br>
I decided to have the music through my in-ear headphones instead of the speaker but to no avail, still no calm wave of sensation which I had hoped for, though I wasn't going to give up just yet. I still have my eyes closed during all of this, but no visuals.
<br>
<br>
I begin to fade away, until this particular Bluetech song reaches a certain point when a lady voice speaks and I cannot for the love of my life figure out its intent. It feels almost malevolent. It felt like it was Kali the goddess trying to communicate, letting me know I was going to die. I felt pure fright and fear at this point.
<br>
<br>
Here I got the feeling I was about to experience a very frightful and confusing trip, so change was needed in the setting again. Luckily, I realized the voice I was hearing was from the music I was listening to, so I decided to do a complete 180 in term of genre of music.
<br>
<br>
Doing things is almost impossible at this point, basic things like just reaching out my arm to grab an item, but I managed to change the music.
<br>
<br>
I put on the song Pneuma by Tool, and in an instant - everything changed. From electronic psybient in 120+bpm bouncing around in my headspace, silence and a smooth guitar enters. A calm wave of love like I've never felt before washed over my whole body.
<br>
<br>
It felt like an intense storm had passed through me, and the sky was now clear with everything feeling perfectly calm. It continued in this direction, calmer and calmer in pure bliss…
<br>
<br>
After a few minutes, the space between my ears which my everyday self sits in, inside my head that is, starts to pull away from the perspective one sees things in everyday life. It's like I'm zooming further away, inwards, with a black void surrounding it.
<br>
<br>
Even the music playing on rather high volume got further and further away from the perceiver of things. In retrospect, maybe this was my mind detaching from the external world. If you look up Alex Grey's painting called "dying", that's a good representation of how it felt.
<br>
<br>
I zoom out until the void / blackness reaches a point where I'm no longer hearing the music nor seeing the darkness behind my eyelids. Something else, other yet so familiar, smoothly ascends like a sunrise coming up behind a hill.
<br>
<br>
A light ever so clear emerges from the total nothingness of the void and during this very moment, I knew. It felt like I could decide to die here, or to hold on - and I choose to have faith in the countless of stories I've read, to give up the control - total surrender.
<br>
<br>
The pure light emerges and I leave my ego and body behind the veil of blackness and enter the pure light. Like diving into a loving ocean with no shores. Pure love, pure knowing, pure existence.
<br>
<br>
Brighter than the brightest object imaginable, flowing infinity. Total unity with everything and everyone. Shimmering, flowing, the fluorescent source of existence itself. It was the accumulated energy of the Big Bang, still expanding since its infinite conception.
<br>
<br>
I had died and woken up.
<br>
<br>
It felt like eternity, but I very gently re-entered my mappable headspace, starting to recognize the music twirling around and the outside of my skin. I felt like I was evoking every external input, the outside and the inside became one.
<br>
<br>
The outline of my body behind closed eyelids felt like Buddha. It felt like I had this smirk of wisdom, I didn't need to pretend anymore. All concepts of what I thought was real was just that, concepts. I saw through the linguistic attachment I had grown to believe was real. There was no longer me between the external and the internal, they were one and thrived off each other.
<br>
<br>
After this death - rebirth experience, the lingering effects of the acid wasn't a frontal experience anymore, I wasn’t tripping but I was still on 450ug of good acid. The following five hours felt almost sober like in comparison to being dead. I didn’t think a single thought, I just sat in awe of the humbling vision of truth. It felt like I gained another perspective of what it is to be alive. How could I know what being alive was if I hadn't been dead before? It all made sense. The world felt brand new. I didn't dare to smoke anymore hashish, so I meditated and sat in trance to some 60's hippie music until I became tired and fell asleep around 6-7am.
<br>
<br>
I woke up at around 12am feeling like a new person, but I hadn’t come down completely just yet. The sun was out, colors were still vibrant and my perspective was still from a place within. I brewed some coffee and ate some strawberries while listening to the music that lead me into ego death. I decided to smoke some hashish, and it instantly brought me back to a very high state. The memory of the vision had such an intense and profound feeling that it opened up what felt like a space in my solar-plexus area and in poured waves of love which I simply could not handle. It was too overwhelming, I started to cry like I had never done before. I was repeating "I didn't know" and "I love you", while tears came pouring down my cheeks. It was the most beautiful cry I've ever experienced, it lasted almost half an hour until it eventually settled down.
<br>
<br>
The idea of me came down later that day, but I don't think you ever come down from an experience like that. Love!!<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2021</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115939</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 24</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 14, 2022</td><td>Views: 522</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=115939&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=115939&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Cannabis - Hash (93) : Alone (16), Music Discussion (22), Mystical Experiences (9), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/2cb/">2C-B</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">155 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
The other night, I experienced the most powerful psychedelic trip of my life. As I recall the events of that night, I will leave out last names and specific locations because of the nature of our activities. I know this is long, but I feel I need to explain in detail to get the full scope of how amazing it was.
<br>
<br>
Ingestion:
<br>
<br>
Several hits of marijuana
<br>
A few shots of liquor
<br>
3 hits of acid (LSD)
<br>
1 hit of nexus (2C-B)
<br>
1 hit of ecstasy (MDMA)
<br>
<br>
A little background on my experiences with psychedelics...
<br>
<br>
I use Mushrooms and LSD somewhat frequently... As much as once or twice a month. I have done this for years. I have used ecstasy, mescaline, nexus, salvia, and dex a few times, and I occasionally smoke marijuana and rarely drink alcohol. I tried opium, DMT, and Kratom once each.
<br>
<br>
I enjoy the recreational, fun side of psychedelics, as well as spiritual, introspective side of it, and plan my trips around whether I will use it for insight and visionary voyages or as a fun party experience. This was an amazing party experience, and I will try to recall it to the best of my ability.
<br>
<br>
Tommy, the guy we get most of our supplies from informed us about a big psychedelic trance rave party in Warren, MI a few weeks ago, and so I attended it with my girlfriend Kami, my friend Mitch and his girlfriend Heather, and my friends William and Patrick, and Patrick's sister Chelsea. It was in a parking garage under an old apartment building that looked like it had been abandoned for a few years. We gathered at Patrick's house because his mom let us borrow her van. We passed around a few bowls of marijuana, then hung out for a little while.
<br>
<br>
We gathered up all of our supplies on his coffee table... It was quite an impressive pile of chemicals - a half sheet of acid, 7 hits of nexus, a quarter of weed, and a fifth of brandy. The weed, nexus, and acid was put into a thermos, and the thermos and liquor was loaded into a cooler with a few 20 oz bottles of mountain dew.
<br>
<br>
<!-- Chelsea finally arrived with their mom's van, at around 5:30 or so, and at about quarter after 6 Tommy and his girlfriend Kim and his brother Dave showed up. -->We all piled in the van and followed Tommy for Detroit. It took about 2 hours to get there, and we checked into a motel where Patrick reserved 3 rooms, it was about a mile down the road from the apartment building. We walked to the rave from there.
<br>
<br>
<!-- When we got there, we had to walk to the back of the building by the maintenence shack where the entrance to the parking garage was. -->We each paid our 25 bucks to the 2 thuggish looking meatheads by the garage door, and they opened it and we went in. There were already quite a few people there, but it wasn't much of a party yet. Well, we had driven all this way, so were were going to make the best of it. They did a pretty decent job of setting it all up... There were alot of big speakers and an Arabian or Turkish guy at the DJ table with a laptop playing some cool ass techno music. They had alot of disco balls and colored strobe lights, a few laser lights, purple Christmas lights all over the ceiling, and a couple of fog machines, plus a bunch of black lights. There was a table on one side with a few kegs and a pallet of bottled water. On the other side, the wall had some cool trippy patterns like on Winamp Visualization being projected on it. It's actually one of the best set ups I have seen at a rave, but it was still early and it wasn't quite jumping yet.
<br>
<br>
We each took our acid... I took 3 hits and chewed them up. They started kicking in pretty quick... Maybe like 10 minutes or so. All of us felt it quickly. It started with the usual weird ass vibes, kind of like energy flowing right through me like wind. It was cold in there, even though they had a few space heaters running, and we all kept getting chills. But we stood around for a while, joking and laughing, and by about 9 or so, we were all tripping balls, cracking up and not making any sense. It had gotten pretty packed in there by then, maybe a couple hundred people.
<br>
<br>
Tommy, Kim, and Dave came over to where we were and Tommy asked if anyone wanted to smoke. Chelsea had the goodies, so she got out a chunk of weed, and asked if we should pop the nexus yet. Everyone was down, so we each washed down a nexus pill with a shot of E&amp;J, then Patrick and Tommy each rolled a joint and we passed them around. By time we finished them, I was in a full psychedelic explosion. The weed had made the acid get really strong, kind of a hybrid trip with alot of colors. I looked at Mitch and we both said it as the same time: 'wow, dude. I am fucked up.' Kami was waving her hand watching the tracers and giggling, and everything looked almost cartoonish and blocky. Alot of great colors everywhere, just radiating from everything in technicolor waves, and the tracers from everything were very slow and had strong blue and purple colors. Time felt very slow, and almost seemed to jump forward at times like claymation, getting behind itself, then speeding up to get caught up, and even getting ahead of itself. My thoughts were racing, each one slamming through my brain in between each note in the music, almost like a chorus in perfect harmony with the music.
<br>
<br>
Within the next hour sometime, me, Mitch, Heather, and Kami had separated from the rest of the group, but I could still see Tommy and Kim, they were dancing with glow sticks. The bright green and orange tracers were very long lasted, and started to follow patterns that the sticks were not, making neon tornadoes around them, and spilling out all over the place leaving Rorschach spatter that grew like ivy vines crawling up, then puffing out of existence.
<br>
<br>
While we were talking and walking around, this little geeker dude with a mohawk approached us and introduced himself, and asked if we were looking for any E or anything, saying he's got plenty of E and some weed, and can get coke and special k too. Mitch asked how much for 4 hits of E, and he said the green ones were the strongest, and he'd let us get 4 for $25, or the orange ones, which were weaker, we could get 4 for $20, and the pink ones were weakest, and he'd let us get 4 for $10. Mitch bought 4 orange tabs from him and he was gone... I remember, I was tripping total balls, and I wasn't sure if that had even really happened, but Mitch handed me a hit of ecstasy, so I was sure I didn't imagine it. It was orange, and had the playboy bunny on it. We walked to the beer table and got 2 cups of beer, and washed down the ecstasy with it.
<br>
<br>
I looked at my phone, and it wasn't even 11:00 yet. All 4 of us were gone, just tripping crazy. I felt very warm, and I was sweaty. Kami and heather went to go dance, and I hated seeing her leave. I felt much better when she was with me, and felt very alone and dejected as soon as she left, but I kept telling myself it's from the Nexus, she'll be back soon, she feels the exact same thing... I started to feel better, and as the ecstasy started to hit, my mood improved alot. I felt in a place of warm technicolor bliss, and I had a strong urge to make sure everyone around me and close to me was happy too, so Mitch and I went and found William, he was doing the trance dance with these two hispanic girls, and Dave, Patrick, and Chelsea were grooving not too far away from them.
<br>
<br>
Dave's voice sounded funny when we came back to him, almost like a robot, very slow and slurred. He was sweating bullets, and said he needed something to drink. It turns out he had taken a double stack of some lightning bolt ecstasy, and was getting delusional from dehydration. I gave him the rest of my beer, ad we all walked over to the beer table to get a bottle of water, which he chugged half of and poured the rest on himself.
<br>
<br>
We sparked up another joint, which just intensified everything. Everything looked disproportionate in size... Chelsea's hands seemed huge, but her head small. Maybe it was because of the loud atmosphere or the hallucinations of crickets and buzzing coming from everywhere, but her voice sounded small and distant, and each word seemed to echo in the full spectrum of colors, leaving glowing waves and tracers with every syllable. She seemed very sweet, and I actually felt highly attracted to her again (I had fooled around with her a few times back in like 2008). I could feel the intense waves of energy connecting each one of us at the mind, and time moved so slow I felt like I could pluck the strings of energy and give everyone a musical vibe like the music of a harp. I considered the outside world, and even felt like I could see their voices of criticism for these amazing, mind-warping criticism bouncing off of the field of energy that protected us.
<br>
<br>
My vision was very blurry, and the revolving lights of the various psychedelic equipment was bathing my sight in happy energetic bliss. My life feels perfect... At this moment, I feel like I have everything I could ever ask for, and wouldn't ever trade it for anything or everything. As the laser lights hit the falls and the cement pillars, they stuck and begin to spread like green-golden glowing ivy vines, wrapping around everything.
<br>
<br>
We tripped for hours like this, laughing, smiling... The walls waving like flags, everything changing colors every few seconds, thick blurred technicolor outlines, intense hallucinations, strong flaning tracers, powerful emotions, happiness and anxiety, calm and excitement at the same time, distorted time, loss of understanding how time works, sounds becoming visible with echoes and voices leaving tracers and whip-like psychedelic patters in the thick, foggy air... The whole environment was an amazing, colorful wonderland of energetic, friendly people high as they could ever imagine, beautiful trance and techno music like Infected Mushroom, Astrix, Velvet Acid Christ, Wumpscut, 1200 Micrograms, Vibe Tribe, Funker Vogts, and so on... The waves of trippy techno music pushed the colorful light patters into each of our souls and made us blink, every blink echoing the delightful scent of patchouli and sandalwood, although the scent of marijuana was quite prevalent too.
<br>
<br>
I did feel a little upset to the stomach for a while, and had to sit down for about 15 minutes or so. I felt slightly nauseated, and kind of light headed. Patrick got me some water, and Mitch went and found Kami. I think they overreacted, it was just mild nausea, but we were so highly entrenched in the experience that any possibility of a trip turning bad made everyone react proactively <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">we were so highly entrenched in the experience that any possibility of a trip turning bad made everyone react proactively</div></div>. We all sat near the wall with the projected tunnels for a while, but the nausea passed. Tommy had thrown up about an hour earlier, and Kim and William both had felt sick to their stomachs for over an hour, but nothing too intense.
<br>
<br>
Before we started to migrate back into the mass of dancing people, we passed around the bottle of Brandy and finished it. At around 4 AM, a fist fight broke out between two guys only like 20 feet from us. That was incredibly frightening, I thought for sure we were all going to jail that night. Fortunately, a few partygoers broke it up, and they were both escorted out by two huge guys. <!-- A girl I had talked to later on told me that she was right next to them when they started arguing, that they were just drunk arguing because one of them spilled the other guy's beer. -->
<br>
<br>
As I walked around with Kami, Mitch, and a couple from Saginaw we met, I noticed a cool pattern to how the heads of the dancers would bob in perfect rhythm with the bass line of every song, no matter how fast or slow it was. Mitch and Kami's eyes were all pupil, and the pupils swirled with color. Every person we talked to was in the highest or spirits, and very friendly.
<br>
<br>
By 6 AM I was starting to feel very sluggish and the trip was wearing down quickly. My vision was still blurred, and my thoughts still raced, but my body was drained. We bid farewell to the couple<!-- from Saginaw who had to leave to they could get home in time to get their daughter from her sister, who had to work-->. We started gathering up everyone, and once the whole party was present, we made our way through the now quite thin crowd, and walked back to the hotel.
<br>
<br>
While walking back, I negotiated a three way with Kami and Chelsea, so the three of us stayed in one room, then Mitch and Heather in one, and William and Patrick in the third. Kami said she was too tired, but she was highly aroused from the ecstasy still, and it didn't take much convincing to get her to agree to it. She and I had been in a three way about a year or so ago<!-- with this girl named Allison who showed up to one of the parties we had thrown-->. Nearly made all of us shit a brick when a Warren cop drove by, but he didn't stop or turn around, so we thanked the gods to which none of us pray, put on our sober faces and hurried back to the hotel.
<br>
<br>
When we got back, me, Kami, and Chelsea passed around another joint, which boosted the trip back up, but not even close to the intensity of what we felt in the parking garage. After finishing it, Chelsea pushed Kami down on the bed and took off her shirt and started making out with her. I was quite thrilled, and the strong sexual attraction I felt cannot be compared to any other time in my life. She undressed her fully while stripping herself, and went down on her. I stripped and performed cunnilingus on Chelsea while Kami performed felatio on me.
<br>
<br>
Without getting into too much private detail, I will end it by saying it was the best sex of my life and not one of us had any less than two orgasms. And an orgasm on ecstasy and acid is an unexplainable feeling.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2011</td><td width="90">ExpID: 94542</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 26</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 27, 2022</td><td>Views: 646</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=94542&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=94542&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), 2C-B (52), MDMA (3) : Glowing Experiences (4), Sex Discussion (14), Combinations (3), Rave / Dance Event (18)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Pharms - Lamotrigine </td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(daily)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">36 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">rectal</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/library/books_online/pihkal/">Methallylescaline</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gel tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 6:16</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">25 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/2cd/">2C-D</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 7:35</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">inhaled</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/nitrous/">Nitrous Oxide</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">170 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Trip Report MAL/LSD/[2C-M]/Cannabis/N2O
<br>
<br>
It's worth mentioning at the front I take lamotrigine for bipolar, and have for years now, it seems to play pretty nicely with serotonin psychedelics. I sadly had no experience with either MAL or 2C-D before tonight, beyond a little allergy test with the former. The latter was merely reagent tested by a bunch of tripping idiots, but the 2C-E from the same vendor checked out.
<br>
<br>
I guess a bit of the basic biographical, we're all in our thirties, fairly to extremely experienced with psychedelics, and still a fair bit foolish.
<br>
<br>
For my own part, I've been at this for about a decade and while I've learned my fair share of lessons I'm still willing to do dumb shit like rail a line of a new substance while riding the tail end of a new substance. Don't be like NC. For a quick rundown of substances and such, a lot of mushrooms from a phase in my life where I had infinite access to them, a bit where I did a inordinate amount of 2C-I, sprinkled with a bit of 2C-E, and the raver happy-go-lucky MDMA or something like it every weekend thing for a couple months in 2011. I'm still alive, but again, don't be me.
<br>
<br>
Most of the substances were shared by two others, I alone did the 2C-D/2C-M late into the trip to get things going again because one of my friends had issues with their rectal dose of MAL and was on a oral timer, and I didn't want to leave them up alone.
<br>
<br>
This would be a first for any of us on MAL, I'd reagent tested it and done a basic allergy test some weeks ago.
<br>
<br>
The trip was started in the late evening, later than intended but within the expected margin of error [this was not actually a good margin, but oh well] T=00:00 = ~19:45 for myself
<br>
<br>
I dosed 36 milligrams of MAL rectally (3ml of a 12mg/ml solution) and had a single tab of what was sold to me as 100ug gel tab LSD, which tested positive for indoles and has repeatedly delivered solid results. One of my friends did the same.
<br>
<br>
For the third, they took a clear gel tab that was supposedly 200ug, ~46mg MAL rectally [which seemed to have been absorbed by fecal matter] and within an hour of me dosing also took another ~30mg MAL orally, a 100ug paper tab, and another 300ug ALD-52 tab. Their results are not being considered for the effectiveness of this combo.
<br>
<br>
Anyway, we dosed and I *instantly* felt an intense discomfort in my rectum, far worse than when I've done amphetamine via this ROA. After enduring this for all of five minutes at the tops I had to flee to the bathroom, emerging several minutes later with whatever dose I'd be getting from the MAL committed. I'd like to avoid that in the future, and I think simply being ready for it should help!
<br>
<br>
After dosing the group split, with myself getting as comfortable as possible on my bed with a blanket and plushie, while someone else showered and the other vanished upstairs for who-knows-what. I noticed alerts within minutes from the MAL, color brightening and gut squirming, I did vomit a few times while coming up <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I noticed alerts within minutes from the MAL, color brightening and gut squirming, I did vomit a few times while coming up</div></div> I hate to admit, but it passed once I did and did not return.
<br>
<br>
In that rapidly climbing peak as the LSD and MAL competed to fill my brain, I just reflected on stillness, and the things we do to unwind and expand ourselves. It was a pretty rough come up, by most people's standards, but I found it fairly normal. It was a warm and confusing sensation, I wish I'd done the MAL on its own to compare better, but the LSD was absolutely not in the spotlight!
<br>
<br>
By the time my friend emerged from the shower and I had anyone to talk to and really *think* for, I was absolutely lit up and rapidly incoherent while... Well, my friend was still almost sober, having seemed to miss the rather capable MAL and finding the allegedly double-dosed LSD to be rather lackluster. A + or so at the most, to use the Shulgin scale. I of course being a gracious host offer ready access to my collection, and they accept to the effect of the drugs listed above.
<br>
<br>
My notes are pretty sparse, all said and done. I've not really tried to keep notes during a trip before despite having intended to for ages. Again this is a first attempt at making a 'real' trip report. Setting was at home, where my bedroom has been set up as a comfortable and well decorated space.
<br>
<br>
All of the prologue aside, the trip itself was a wild time!
<br>
<br>
[+00:00] Swallowed the gel tab and administered the MAL rectally into a recently vacated colon. Intense discomfort and the need to defecate followed about instantly as mentioned above, and I ended up going to the restroom sooner than desired but there was still decent absorption by subjective effects.
<br>
<br>
[00:20 - 01:00] Writhed around on my bed under a cute blanket while cuddling a plushie with a bucket near by, ended up needing said bucket on a mostly empty stomach and continued to dry heave until the come up settled down. Tremors were also experienced but these all of this is pretty typical for me.
<br>
<br>
[01:11] Nausea started to taper off, I noted down finding music absolutely delightful and the physical sensation of playing with my pen actually distracted from note taking. Also my pen was running low on ink and I foolishly refilled it while absolutely tripping all the balls. Poor impulse control will be a theme for the night, as I got covered in the ink of course! I sadly don't recall much of the visual nature.
<br>
<br>
[02:05] I was essentially still bed-locked tripping, barely managing to wrest myself up right long enough to note, and I quote myself here "Warm. Confused. Big like galaxy" the last of which I'm not entirely sure of but am recalling as a vaguely disassociated state with nebulous closed eye visuals. It was a good feeling in any case!
<br>
<br>
[02:26] I notice there are currently four light sources in the room and make the mistake of mentioning this to my trekie roommate. A meme is sadly born for the night and I have to make sure to keep at least five or at most three lights running the rest of the evening. Oops.
<br>
<br>
[03:05] "The drugs are kicking in!" - my friend who ate half a fucking milligram of acid. I messed with some of my lamps and spent the next 20 or so minutes working on fixing it.
<br>
<br>
[03:10] Tripping on how the ink stains on my hand and how a intelligent consciousness are similar when imposed onto the basic animal flesh, while working on my light. Somewhere around here I start trying to do some flow arts and find myself very uncoordinated. I also find myself sensation horny.
<br>
<br>
[03:25] In my sensation seeking frenzy, I went from lightly scratching myself with my nails, to using my pixel whip like a proper whip, to finding a needle and slashing the fuck out of my thigh. The literal note here is "Past me made a mistake" the mistake was mostly not getting decent consent for cutting myself, imo. Felt absolutely amazing and continued to feel good throughout the night. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Felt absolutely amazing and continued to feel good throughout the night.</div></div> The bleeding was easy enough to stop entirely with quikclot, and I have plans to do intentional bloodplay with someone soonish.
<br>
<br>
[03:33] I finally fixed my lights and got them synced up, there was much rejoicing.
<br>
<br>
[05:05] I both fail to talk anyone into doing a bit of 2C-X nasally, and am not talked into it myself. "Not today, Satan!"
<br>
<br>
[06:16] "Yes today, Satan!" I end up snorting the 25mg of 2C-M [2C-D] mentioned, it was about as bad as I remember 2C-E being from a decade ago. Honestly felt and tasted good, and I got classic 2C-Eish visuals pretty much instantly. We kick around and chat as my friend on all the acid is still burning hard.
<br>
<br>
[07:35] Being the resident demon and in the mood to challenge some dogma, we decide to bust out the whippets. I have a long standing ban on doing whippets because of some twitchy-twitch episodes, but did some poppers recently in another horny frenzy [this one involving a massive dragon dick] and found them enjoyable with minimal side effects. The first whippet was had with incredible trepidation, but by the fifth we were happy dogma was challenged and I wasn't left sitting out. I mused a lot of the nature of death, life and the neurological strain of drugs down in the whippet hole. A bit on "is this and has this always just been a seizure?" as it was awfully similar to when I'd get the twitchy-twitch, but those were precipitated by taking a *massive* dab and chasing it with a big balloon on N2O... Which is a solidly, entirely stupid idea one should not replicate. It helped I seemed to remain in control of my self the whole way up and down.
<br>
<br>
[08:17] "Drugs, holy shit!!!" written after having a looping conversation that lasted at least 15 subjective minutes, in the span of a single N2O dive.
<br>
<br>
[12:10-~19:00] Reviewing trip notes, talking about how it all went. Around here we got some breakfast, I did some kinky orgasm control hypnosis play with one of my friends, and we eventually fell asleep. 'Eventually' was entirely too late which seems to be a trend with ergotamines and phenethylamines in my system.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2022</td><td width="90">ExpID: 116223</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Not Specified</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 30</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Mar 25, 2022</td><td>Views: 1,180</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=116223&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=116223&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">2C-D (103), Methallylescaline (586), LSD (2), Pharms - Lamotrigine (432) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 cig.</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">150 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">78 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Background:
<br>
I’m currently in my second year of university. It’s nearing the end of the year and I’m already in the exam period. So many of the choices I make now seem like they will have a lasting impact on the rest of my life. I’m stressed from studying, letting my standards slip, and not being my old self. So far, I had taken 3 of my exams. As far as I could tell, I had failed my most recent one. At this point I didn’t let that bother me. I knew I had to keep my spirits high so I could continue studying. For in just two short weeks I’d be free for summer.
<br>
<br>
It was getting late and after a day in the library I was feeling like a smoke with flatmates T and M could be a good thing to relax. M rolls a perfect joint using a technique called back strapping which has the advantage that you smoke less paper. While T and I chill on the bed talking about our plans for summer.
<br>
<br>
-9pm (Smoke Weed)
<br>
We start passing the joint between us and soon I start to feel more relaxed. The joint was harsh on our throats because the weed was so damp. After passing the joint I went out to get some water to clear my throat and then I came back to smoke some more. Once the joint was out M and T went to the campus shop to get some food because they had started to get the munchies. I stayed behind and went back to my room to experience the high.
<br>
<br>
At this point I think that it’s worth noting I’m a huge fan of both Terence McKenna and Alan Watts. These two men are the whole reason I decided to jump into the world of psychedelics and start exploring consciousness. I actually feel that I can split my life into two parts. Before I found out about Terence McKenna and after I found out about Terence McKenna. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I actually feel that I can split my life into two parts. Before I found out about Terence McKenna and after I found out about Terence McKenna.</div></div> Alan Watts too has been such an influential man on my life. His talks about Zen Buddhism are fascinating to me and now, whenever I meditate, it’s on my mind.
<br>
<br>
Earlier in the day my mind had been wandering and I had taken time to think about the possibility of dropping acid tonight. I had realised that there was enough time before my next exam, but I didn’t want to risk a day of non-studying so I decided against it. Now however, I started thinking about life. About how, so far as we can tell, it’s all there is. The things I want to do in life but I don’t do will ultimately define me. Once the end of my life comes, I don’t want to be lying on a death bed full of regrets about what could have been. Instead I want to look back and think about all the memories I have of doing things that were balls crazy. It was this exact thought that lead to me thinking that my definition of insanity would be: wanting to do something but not doing it because I am afraid of the consequences. The reason I say this is because, regardless of whether you do or don’t do the thing that you want to do, you’re still going to die. Furthermore, you’re never going to know the consequences of any action beforehand, because the amount of information that one requires to make an informed decision in any situation is infinite. Now upon thinking this I realised that I absolutely had to drop acid tonight.
<br>
<br>
-10pm (Drop Acid)
<br>
I put two tabs of acid on my tongue dosed at 100ug each and start to relax while I wait for the effects to kick in. While I am waiting I pull up a soundtrack on youtube that I love to meditate with and lie down with my headphones. It was at this point I realised that following the exact same reasoning for dropping acid I should roll tonight as well.
<br>
<br>
-10.15pm (Roll Mandy)
<br>
I went to the kitchen to get some cocoa nibs and put them in a drink of water which I drank as fast as possible to avoid the taste. (Cocoa nibs to protect the brain from oxidative stress while rolling). I came back to my room and took a food based multivitamin tablet for good measure as these too can help to protect against oxidative stress. By this point the two tabs of acid had started to break apart in my mouth so I preceded to swallow them. I started measuring out the Mandy and took about 150mg. The taste was even more bitter and chemical like than normal because I was still high from joint.
<br>
<br>
I started listening to meditation music to calm me down before everything hit. Normally I find that with acid there is a come-up period and Lucy slowly changes my perception so that I can see things from a new light. Colours are very beautiful at first and emotions are increased exponentially.
<br>
<br>
-10.20 (Acid Kicks In)
<br>
This time however, the acid come up simply went from 0 to 100 in the space of a moment in time. One moment I wasn’t tripping and the next I was. This wasn’t scary and at the time I didn’t even think about it.
<br>
<br>
I started hearing voices from behind me but I didn’t pay close attention to what they were saying because I was listening to the meditation music with my headphones on. It sounded like a lot of laughter and a bit of a party. I assumed that the voices were coming from outside as I had my window open but my curtains were shut. The voices I could hear slowly grew louder until they were just as loud as regular speech. It was at this point when I wondered where the voices that I could hear were really coming from. I took off my headphones and looked at curtains for the source of the voices I was hearing. As I lifted my gaze higher and higher I could hear the voices getting ever clearer and I started paying more attention to the content inside them. I started looking at the corner of my room and it was at this point they realised that I could hear them!
<br>
<br>
It was my grandads voice, my father’s voice, my mothers, my sisters. It was the voices of everyone that I loved and cared about. The people whose lives I had affected the most by spending my time with them. My father and grandfather were the first to realise that I could hear them. My father shouted, “look up son”. I was already looking in the top corner of my room but I realised that this wasn’t good enough so I averted my gaze and looked directly up. At this point, all of the voices started laughing and cheering, they were so happy that I could finally hear them.
<br>
<br>
All of the people, that I love and care about. All of the people that love and care about me. Told me how much they love me for everything that I am and everything that I do. We had a conversation, about how happy they were, about what I had become with my beliefs and acting the way I want to be. After the conversation, I could hear M and T coming back from getting food.
<br>
<br>
-10.25 (M and T came back with food)
<br>
My loved ones told me to start cleaning the Mandy off my desk and put away the acid strip because M and T would be coming back any moment. I rushed to clean everything up so that I could go chill with them once they got back. Once I had finished cleaning I felt the need to take a piss, so I went to the toilet, but I got distracted by something and started looking at myself in the mirror. Immediately I noticed the size of my pupils and how the normal bloodshot red colour of my eyes after smoking weed wasn’t really present. As I tried to focus on the centre of my eye my head started warping and features on my face became greatly accentuated. The spots on my face went bright red and started growing exponentially in size while my face became distorted, changed colour, and didn’t fit together the right way. I really didn’t like seeing my face this way and it was this experience that spooked me for the rest of the night.
<br>
<br>
From this point onwards I have absolutely no track of time whatsoever
<br>
<br>
I filled up my cup with water from the tap in my shower room and drank it. After drinking the water, the voices told me to stand in the shower. I started taking off my clothing but they told me it wasn’t necessary, so with my pj’s half on half off I got into the shower. They told me to look up at the head of the shower and open my mouth. I followed their instructions but nothing happened so I started to get scared and quickly got out the shower. Soon I started noticing the general mess that my shower room was in and my mind started making it worse than it actually was. I started seeing small yellow dots all around the room which transformed into hundreds of spiders and I realised that I couldn’t leave the shower room because if I opened the door they would get into my bedroom. I still had my clothes half on and half off when I reached for the towel for protection from the spiders. I started shivering uncontrollably. Wherever I looked in the room, on every wall, there were hundreds of spiders and insects. There was even a massive one sitting on the toilet. I realised at that point that my mind was trying to teach me not to be afraid of spiders anymore and I knew that if I sat on the largest spider, that was sitting on the toilet, they would all disappear. I simply could not do it. I was shivering too much and in too much of a panic. I fell to my knees destroyed by what I had become and started wondering why I could hear the voices.
<br>
<br>
I knew that I went into my shower room at 10.25 and when I came out it was 4.00am. The hours I spent inside the shower room felt like hell. I started going serious mental loops that became impossible to break out of.
<br>
<br>
The loop started like this: At first, I would realise that I had just completed a loop, so I would start laughing because I had been doing the same thing over and over. Then the realisation that I was stuck in the loop and could not break it would come over me. I would then forget completely that I was even in a loop and figure that each thing that I was doing was the first time I had done it. I would end up in some corner of the shower room doing one of four things dependent on what part of the loop I had gone to. I don’t exactly remember what each of the four things where, but one of them was the feeling like I was unzipping my skin from the top of my head downwards. Another was throwing up an entity out of myself that had taken control of me. After one loop ended, another loop would start again and take me to one of the other 3 endings. Each time I completed a loop the next loop was a little bit faster and I realised that once the loops sped up fast enough I would be able to remember all four endings at the same time and break the loop. The loop started changing once I could remember all four endings and for the first time I managed to leave my shower room. (Without the fear of spiders getting into my bedroom). I was still looping but now there were different endings. I had thought that once I was out of the room it would stop completely, but now I realised I was going to have to experience death for it to all stop.
<br>
<br>
The final loop took me to the corner of my bedroom with my body pressed against the floor and my head buried into the carpet. Feeling shattered and scared to die. All of the time that I had been looping my connection to the voices of the spirit world had been broken. Now however, upon dying, the connection came back. My family and loved ones cheered and welcomed me back as I died but my time with them was short lived and soon I was forced back into my body. My experience of death was not painful, it was nothing, no different to life.
<br>
<br>
I woke up, born again, finally out of the looping and with a sigh of relief I vowed not to go back into the shower room no matter what happened tonight. I put on some clothes and sat down in my chair trying to process all of the things that had just happened to me, but I was finding it too difficult to concentrate because I was still tripping. I realised I had to go for a walk to calm myself down and have time to think.
<br>
<br>
-4.00am
<br>
I started getting my jacket ready and put in my earphones. I put my shoes on and left the building. Immediately I started feeling better for being outside and not stuck in my room. I realised that I had been sweating and my body was feeling really hot. Upon being outside the trip started making a turn for the better.
<br>
<br>
As I was walking I went into a mind of my own and forgot that I was human. I started thinking that I was this cartoon like creature which I used to dream about when I was a baby. (The creature was only one dimensional, I don’t even know how to explain it other than like a full stop). Somehow, I was accessing memories that I didn’t even know I had. After being that creature I got upgraded into a two dimensional being. To describe what I thought I was, when I was little I had my name written on my bedroom door and of of the letters of my name, L, is what I became. It was all making so much sense to me that life was just these little cartoon creatures with no worries in the world. Whenever a car or person walked past me I would remember I was human again and started saying to myself “what the fuck” over and over. I did not understand how I could forget that I was human but somehow, I still kept doing it.
<br>
<br>
Once I started walking back, I walked back though the field, instead of on the pavement. My shoes ended up wet and the bottoms of my trousers were soaked through too. My face was still clammy from sweat and I was still feeling hot. As I stepped into my flat I walked past a guy and girl from the floor above me. The girl looked at my sweaty face and my soaked trousers and boots and then gave her guy friend a look of terror. I tried to get past them as quickly as possible and back to my room.
<br>
<br>
-5.00am/6.00am
<br>
I could feel that the trip was getting less intense now and from this moment onwards, nothing too out of the ordinary happened. I got ready for bed and put back on my meditation music while I started to relax. I stayed up for a further 2 hours processing my thoughts before, finally, I could get some sleep.
<br>
<br>
I have purposely made it this trip report long as to explain everything that I went through in the best detail that I could. If this report manages to help anyone at all with a difficult trip in the future then it’ll be worth it. I have to say that the turning point of my trip was looking at myself in the mirror very early on before the peak. I think if I had not done this the trip would have been completely different.
<br>
<br>
I feel that writing out the trip has helped me to remember different aspects of it and has helped me to process it in my mind. I now feel more equipped to put it behind me.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2017</td><td width="90">ExpID: 110626</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 19</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 4, 2022</td><td>Views: 564</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=110626&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=110626&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), MDMA (3) : Various (28), Entities / Beings (37), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 - 4 glasses</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 bowl</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">135 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It was 2021 at a furry convention in Florida. I was still kinda new to using LSD and had managed to score some hits from a friend of mine that I was saving for the convention. At the time I was only interested in the drug as a party aid so I was intending to just have a really good time on it. I had only tripped twice before this. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">At the time I was only interested in the drug as a party aid so I was intending to just have a really good time on it. I had only tripped twice before this.</div></div> I was sharing a suite with my two friends Mitchel and Evan (Names changed for privacy). Evan knows me well and knew I was planning on dropping at some time during the con. Mitchell we didn't tell because we didn't know what his views on substances like psychedelics where. For the entire trip he thought I was just drunk and high and never mentioned anything, but a year later we told him and he thought it was funny, so it turned out to be fine.
<br>
<br>
Anyways, we all went to the dance competition and sat together to watch the show. Looking at the time, I felt like it was the right time to dose. I lean over to Evan and tell him that I wanna drop and I'm going to go to the bathroom to do it.
<br>
<br>
18:00 - I excuse myself to the bathroom which was right around the corner. I pick a stall and pull some tin foil out of my pocket, which contained two paper tabs of 100ug LSD each. I pop them underneath my tongue then head back to the show.
<br>
<br>
18:40 - The sequin vest of the host began to get shinier and shinier, the multicolored reflective vest seemed to assault my eyes every time he turned or moved in a certain direction. The music and cheering started to get a little loud and uncomfortable. Evan must have noticed that I was starting to feel uncomfortable and suggested that we leave the competition early which we did.
<br>
<br>
19:00 - At this point time dilation really started kicking in for some reason. Maybe because there was so much going on that it was difficult to focus my attention on anything. All the suits looked brighter and more stunning some people really looked like mythical beasts in their outfits. I remember walking by someone who had a long green shiny scaled metal tail that to me looked like a massive snake ready to jump at me at any moment. I clung closely to Evan as we walked past but I couldn't take my eyes away from it, as if I had to make sure it wasn't going to attack as we made our way past the man wearing it.
<br>
<br>
We walked around the convention for a while, meeting people and taking pictures of all the awesome fursuits. I'm not sure how long we spent doing this, but something, maybe all the people and noise and craziness going on started to make me feel very anxious and like I needed to get away for a while until the peak subsided a bit. So I told Evan that I wanted to go back to the suite and it turned out that he and Mitchell were already thinking about going back to put on their fursuits, so we headed back~
<br>
<br>
20:00 (Approx) – We got back into the suite and Mitchell and Evan offered me a couple of mixed drinks. I honestly don't remember how many I drank. I only remember being offered some drinks and every time I looked down at my glass I had already drunk it. This happened maybe 3 or 4 times. At some point during the time when Evan was preparing me drinks and Mitchell was cooking some pasta for us to eat, I had glanced at the tri-sectional painting above the couch on the wall. It was one of those generic landscape paintings you find in any typical hotel room, only to me, the painting looked like a view of a Scottish moor from the parapets of a medieval castle. I could see the clouds billowing in the sky, the grass and trees swaying in the breeze, I could literally feel the wind blowing through my hair and clothes. I must have stared unflinchingly at this painting for at least 11 minutes while Evan was trying to get me to refocus my attention on something else so that Mitchell didn't think there was anything wrong with me. At some point, Mitchell stepped away from the kitchen to go to the porch to smoke. When he saw me he says "Is there something wrong with the painting?"
<br>
<br>
I'm suddenly pulled out of it. "Oh...uh, no, its just that...I'm just now noticing it."
<br>
<br>
"Oh, yeah, it's a pretty shitty painting."
<br>
<br>
Which to be fair, it was and Mitchell is actually a very accomplished college educated artist, so if he says its shitty, then it's probably true. I went back and looked at the picture again when I was completely sober and yeah, my mind had made up a lot of fantastic detail for that thing.
<br>
<br>
I sat down on the couch and took another drink from Evan. We flipped through the channels on the television until we found a John Wick movie which was playing. I don't know which one, but there was a scene where he was shooting a machine gun and the gun just kept firing and firing and firing and the brass just kept hitting the deck over and over and over again and I started to get really panicky and started to have bad thoughts about some of my experiences in the service. Evan was too engrossed in the movie to notice me, so without saying a word I quietly reached for the remote and changed the channel.
<br>
<br>
Evan: "Oh, was that too much for you?" Me: "Yeah, I think that's just too violent for me to handle right now."
<br>
<br>
We kept changing the channels until we found a channel that was playing men's water polo. This immediately calmed me down and made me feel better. Evan started making funny jokes and observations about the game and the players which made me laugh and lifted my mood greatly.
<br>
<br>
21:00 (Approx) – Mitchell finished preparing the food. It was some kind of farfalle shaped pasta. The kind that look like little bows. I couldn't make out much else of what was in it because the entire contents of the bowl where quivering and writhing. I must have stared at it for about a minute or two before Mitchell says "If you don't like it, I can make you something else."
<br>
<br>
"No, no, it looks good, I'm just a little high" I managed to say a little nervously. I didn't want him to be offended. The food actually tasted delicious.
<br>
<br>
After we ate, Mitchell and Evan decided to put on their fursuits and go back out into the convention. They wanted me to suit up with them, but I was really beginning to peak. My body felt bloated with anxiety and I was too uncoordinated and dazed to suit up by myself, so I said that I would suit up with them later.
<br>
<br>
As we walked to the main convention area, we passed by a portion of sidewalk with a colony of snails. I stopped for a few seconds to watch them, I was so enthralled by them. It looked like they had a little society and a village down there. I couldn't stop for too long, Mitchell and Evan couldn't see me very well when they where both inside their fursuits and I was afraid I would get left behind. Mitchell was in a full German Shepard suit and Evan was in an Otter partial suit. (Just the head tails and paws)
<br>
<br>
When we entered the main convention space the first thing we see, is a GIANT PINK ANIME SNAIL! WHAT!? I was shook. Was this snail from the village of snails I just saw? Was this giant snail even real?
<br>
<br>
Mitchell and Evan immediately accosted him begging for a photo. It was a really well made and detailed snail suit. The snail put a blue chip in his mouth (I learned later that it was a small portable cooling fan for his head) and posed with them for a photo which I had to take. I have no idea how I managed to operate Mitchell's phone in my current state but I did.
<br>
<br>
We then went straight to the inflate panel where Mitch and Evan completely immersed themselves in this room full of giant inflatable animals. They began to jump on them, playing with them and posing for pictures with giant zebras, giraffes, whales and unicorns.
<br>
<br>
The room took on a kind of gross amber/pink hue, it was really crowded and warm because of all the people. The air felt thick and the wobbling inflatable animals was making me feel like I was in a giant room full of Jello. The whole experience was making me feel dizzy and nauseous so I stepped out into the hallway for a minute. I instantly felt better, but every time I went back into the inflate panel room I felt nauseous again, so I decided to let my two boy friends play and left to wander the convention on my own.
<br>
<br>
At this time there wasn't very many people around so I didn't feel anxious at all, just kinda bored and like I didn't wanna waste my trip being sick in a room full of giant jello animals <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I didn't feel anxious at all, just kinda bored and like I didn't wanna waste my trip being sick in a room full of giant jello animals</div></div>, so I just started to wander into convention rooms at random looking for an interesting panel to enjoy while tripping.
<br>
<br>
The first room I entered was the tabletop and card gaming room There was a table full of people discussing a D&amp;D campaign but it was the least exciting part of the game. They where talking about equipment and gear and statistics and numbers and planning and it felt like a bunch of orcs and elves sitting around a table discussing business. So boring, so I left.
<br>
<br>
The next room I entered was the media room. It was a dark room with a television that plays various furry themed movies, shows, or cartoons. When I opened the door it looked like a long dark hallway with a small screen at the end playing a creepy old black and white cartoon. There where a bunch of chairs and dozens of eyes peered back at me from those chairs, indignantly wondering who it was that let the light in. I slowly and sheepishly closed the door and backed away. I wanted nothing to do with that room.
<br>
<br>
I walked further down the hallway and began to hear a faint thumping. I could feel it in my chest. Curious, I walked closer. The thumping was coming from a door which suddenly swung open to reveal a black portal with many multicolored lights mostly red and purple emanating from it. Furries where exiting this portal. I was intrigued. I couldn't stop myself from walking through this portal. As some furries where coming out of it, I slipped through and I was transported to a completely different universe.
<br>
<br>
I was in the middle of a rave with dazzling lights, electric sounds and all manner of dogs, wolves, cats, bunnies, raccoons and other furries throbbing on the dance floor.
<br>
<br>
"OMG", I thought..."This is where I need to be...This is furry heaven and furry heaven is a bunch of furries dancing in a rave for for all time! Of course it is! It makes perfect sense that this would be the case!"
<br>
<br>
But when I looked down at my hands, my boring, pathetic human hands then I looked up at the furry crowd, I felt like I didn't belong here. Like I was in the wrong heaven, like if I stayed I would be ostracized or ejected from the place and shunned forever. I knew what I had to do. I had to leave and come back as my fursona. That's the only way I can truly stay here and be accepted!
<br>
<br>
I don't know how I got back to the room so fast, but the trip back was a blur. I never told Mitchell and Evan what I was up to, luckily they where so distracted while playing in the room with the big inflatable animals that they didn't even realize I had left them until I was suited up.
<br>
<br>
22:00 (Approx) - When I had arrived back in the suite, I went strait for my furry kit and put on my head, tail, paws and my black gothic dress for the rave. I am a black mongoose with purple stripes. I checked myself in the mirror. I felt sexy, confident and ready for anything! I am the Mongoose! I remembered that I still had one of those small discrete metal pipes which I had already pre-packed with weed, so I took it to the balcony and smoked it before putting my head on and zipped back to the rave. I passed by Mitch and Evan as they where heading back to the suite. The expressions on their faces was that of surprise and confusion. They thought that I had only stepped away for a minute and now here I am in front of them in a completely new outfit as if I had changed in some quick anime magical girl transformation sequence in the bathroom or something.
<br>
<br>
Evan had to take Mitch back to the room because he was overheating and not feeling well. I said ok and that I was going to the rave. We parted ways knowing where to find each other.
<br>
<br>
23:00 (Approx) - At the Rave I had lost all sense of time and place, I had lost myself to the throng of furries, gyrating and grinding to the music and the lights. I felt like I was there for forever, like I had always been there, like this amazing party will never end. This was my new reality. At some point I got lost staring into the lights while in the middle of the dance floor and a handsome noble pure white wolf came to check on me and make sure that I was ok. He pulled me out of the confusion I felt at that moment. I told him I was ok, just a little high and we started dancing for a while.
<br>
<br>
Suddenly my dress pocket started to vibrate. I pulled out my phone. It was Evan, he was having trouble finding me. I said "Tell me where you are and I will find you" I had to bring him here with me. He had to experience Furry heaven. He was in that sad, depraved, human world and I had to rescue him from it!
<br>
<br>
I felt like an angel flying down from heaven with Righteous purpose. I found him in the hallway and swooped him up, taking him back to the rave with me, back to furry heaven where we stayed and danced for an eternity~
<br>
<br>
02:00 (Approx) – The rave was winding down everything was about to end, An exhausted Mongoose and her Otter companion made their way back to the suite. I was still tripping, but I was so physically exhausted that I couldn't do anything but take off my suit toss my dress on the floor and slink into the hotel bathtub for a nice hot steamy 2 hour long bath. During that time I felt like I was on literal clouds, heck I felt like I WAS a cloud, just a happy little cloud enjoying a nice bath. It was better than a spa day.
<br>
<br>
04:00 (Approx) – The boys were already asleep. When I came out of the bath, I realized that I had left the TV on in my room. An episode of Rick and Morty was playing. It was the one where Rick goes into Bird Person's memory. The synth-wave song in that episode was lit. I watched it for a while then went to bed soon after~
<br>
<br>
I woke up the next day feeling content and refreshed. I made breakfast for my friends and we spent the last day of the con just relaxing and checking out various panels.
<br>
<br>
That was the end of my trip. It was only the third time I had ever tripped on LSD and it really made the convention experience that day the best I had ever had. I learned that I can handle low doses pretty well even in crowded environments, especially if I'm with my good friends or with good people and good vibes. This is definitely something which I will do again and the whole overall experience was simply magical~<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2021</td><td width="90">ExpID: 116569</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 28</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 15, 2022</td><td>Views: 441</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=116569&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=116569&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Alcohol (61), Cannabis (1) : General (1), Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">700 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Theanine</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">400 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/smarts/aniracetam/">Aniracetam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">buccal</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/nicotine/">Nicotine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">10 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/diazepam/">Pharms - Diazepam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 12:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/quetiapine/">Pharms - Quetiapine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">67 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
LSD, Aniracetam and Agomelatine
<br>
<br>
I had procured three tabs of acid from a friend and while I absolutley love to trip the motivations behind this particular one were more nuanced. Having a Cannabis Use Disorder I relied on acid and other psychedelics to regenerate my brain when the weed had slowly made a vegetable out of me since the last time I had tripped.
<br>
<br>
I had been taking agomelatine for several weeks and had been smoking weed heavily all day every day for a year <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I had been taking agomelatine for several weeks and had been smoking weed heavily all day every day for a year</div></div> when I made the mistake of trying the combination of my two favourite drugs in the world at the time: LSD and aniracetam for potentiating. For breakfast I had a cup of decaff and a whole lambs brain scrambled into three chicken eggs. I took only 400mg of aniracetam and 700 mg of L-theanine mixed in olive oil for solubility (I still use L-theanine every day and had for years previously, around three grams of it). Then I took one tab of LSD.
<br>
<br>
I went out to walk around the city as that was my favourite activity to engage in while tripping on one tab. After about an hour or so of walking up and down the main streets amongst the bustling crowds I started to realize that the trip was going to be far far more intense than I had anticipated. I often get very lecherous while on acid and I can't be sure if this actually happened or it did but I misinterpreted it but I most certainly had a sultry look on my face and I was enjoying safely observing all the beautiful women I passes at a distance while they went about their business and at one point an older woman who I was staring at as I passed her by met my eyes and held them and gave me a little wink and a grin as we passed. I kept walking past her perplexed and a little excited but I knew at that point that I had to go home or I would lose control very soon. When I arrived home some time later I began smoking cones and masturbating in my bed to pornography.
<br>
<br>
The pleasure this elicited was overwhelming and I didn't want to stop despite after three or four hours feeling rather disgusted with myself and artificial, like I was an animal without free will that responded only to impulses and I feared that my conscious mind that differed from this animal was slipping into the background condemned to observation without action. Each time I came I convulsed into my groin and each was the most intensely euphoric orgasm I had ever had (previous ones of this calibre had also involved acid). I had a few pieces of 4mg nicotine gum and they were pleasurable but gave me mild headaches thereafter. Then I stopped masturbating and began to get very paranoid though I kept it contained within. I felt that I could sense the presence of my housemates upstairs in their rooms like I had mental tendrils that revealed malevolent forces and I thought about how this was the nature of a certain kind of paranoia. I began writing down my troubles and trying to examine where I was now in my life and what I needed to change, partly because I was compelled to and partly because I believed that that would be the best way to mitigate and learn from a so called "bad trip". I made a lot of progress in that room under that strain.
<br>
<br>
I looked over at the painting my friend had done and given me. It was a very detailed graffiti-esque painting and suddenly I could see all the details and all the little drawings of eyes and faces hidden behind other aspects of the painting I hadn't noticed before. The drawings began to wiggle and dance off of the canvas and when I focused on them they seemed to have an endless depth in the same way a long street looks endless when your tripping. I saw all sorts of faces and the backs of heads slowly turning around and grinning devilishly. It seemed endless and constantly renewing with more and more intricate discoveries made the longer I stared. At one point I made crazy faces into a mirror for a while. I felt like I was going mad.
<br>
<br>
I was drinking decaff and had turned to drawing when the pressure seemed to increase even more as I thought that would be the best activity suited and was inspired by the painting. I did some drawings I later published and am rather proud of. At one point I got up to use the toilet and was so out of it I walked in on my housemate pissing (no lock on the door) and just stood there staring at him confused out of my mind and for several seconds totally unaware of what was happening. He looked up at me with his cock in his hands and laughed. I was taken aback and apologized but he began making jokes to my other housemates about what had happened. He was saying I was gay and laughing at me, I told them I was tripping and it was an accident, I was freaking out a lot but trying to keep my cool and I went back to my room and kept drawing and thought a lot about that and about psychosis and how I didn't want to have it. There was a table across my room completely decorated by graffiti tags another friend who was a meth user had done and stimulated as much as I was I suddenly felt that I understood how he was feeling while he did that repetitive action over and over again while using his drug of choice. Eventually I took 10mg of diazepam which didn't help a lot and after 12 hours and no sleep (weed didn't help obviously while on acid, though I kept smoking it) I took a quetiapine and some Magnesium L-Threonate and slept.
<br>
<br>
I didn't realize it until later but I had been tipped into hypomania by the trip and had to stop taking agomelatine and take olanzapine for two weeks. In the next month I did many reckless things while hypomanic and many extraordinarily pleasurable things also, though it ended in the edge of what might have been a paranoid psychotic episode which forced me to quit my heavy cannabis habit and replace it with abstinence.
<br>
<br>
I am very grateful for this experience despite its difficulty and risk. I can't be sure what exactly was the cause and nor could the psychiatrists because of poly drug use. The aniracetam I feel made me remember the trip in near perfect detail and I would like to do the combination again but with more precautions in mind and no agomelatine or cannabis or nicotine despite the risk.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2022</td><td width="90">ExpID: 116656</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 23</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 17, 2022</td><td>Views: 776</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=116656&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=116656&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Cannabis (1), Nicotine (383), Theanine (413), Aniracetam (286), LSD (2) : Alone (16), Post Trip Problems (8), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1/2 cig.</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(flowers)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1/2 cig.</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(leaves)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 bowl</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/salvia/">Salvia divinorum</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(extract - 10x)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">145 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This was the second time I had ever tripped on LSD. I don’t take any medication and I’ve had experience with many other drugs. Since I never want to be bothered by time and don't carry a watch or phone I don't have accurate times. My mindset was relaxed. My friend E and I took two hits of liquid acid on sugar cubes in some cold tea I made. I felt the effects of the LSD within 30 to 40 minutes after ingestion., There was tension in my chest, slight stomach discomfort, colors, patterns, and I laughed a lot.
<br>
<br>
We wandered around outside for a while and I spent a while watching people drive by, I read their facial expressions and I assumed most of them were going to and from work and I couldn’t comprehend why, I could tell these people were not happy working and they only did it to buy the things they need to survive.
<br>
<!--
<br/>
Then the thought changed when I thought of the unnecessary things people buy like televisions and video games that keep people glued to screens, being completely passive and not living their lives. It was almost overwhelming watching cars drive by, planes pierce the sky, and I couldn’t escape the sound of machines which really bothered me. I hate modern technology yet I find myself using computers sometimes, but this dislike for modern technology was intensified during the trip.
<br/>
-->
<br>
At that point I wanted to see everyone outside smiling watched the clouds fold into each other as E and I were. E started panicking. I had a feeling like something big is happening somewhere and I needed to find that place. We went back to her house and I started drawing, as I was drawing I kept seeing things coming off the picture and it was almost like I traced them. The pictures were very different from anything I draw sober, but they seemed to have more meaning and they still do as I look at them now.
<br>
<br>
I did this for about an hour until a friend L came over. We smoked a blunt and started talking about Salvia. She had never done it before and wanted to, then I remembered I had some. She took a couple big hits of 10x Salvia divinorum with no real effects, I was confused because every time I had ever done Salvia I have had ridiculous trips, so I decided to try it. It had been at least a year since I smoked salvia. I took a big hit, held the smoke in for roughly 15-20 seconds, exhaled, and I didn’t get that “Something crazy is about to happen”, uncomfortable feeling I usually get on Salvia. I had enough time to say “It’s not hitting me either.” Right after I said that I was sent into a kaleidoscope made up of pieces of the room but there was no actual room, then the room reappeared but all the walls and the ceiling were still a kaleidoscope, the rug I was sitting on was slithering around the ceiling like a snake but it was very welcoming.
<br>
<br>
This whole time I was laughing like crazy, the kaleidoscope slowly dissolved into my own hands covering my face, I removed my hands and saw the room completely normal for a couple seconds and put my hands over my face again the kaleidoscope returned. I honestly have no idea if my eyes were open or closed. I then saw a mirror image of the room with a lot of people in grey dresses running through the walls away from me, I could only see the back of their legs as they ran. They ran in unison forming a big V, I then entered something I can only describe as being inside of a giant yellow plastic bear, yellow everywhere, I felt at home for some reason. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I then entered something I can only describe as being inside of a giant yellow plastic bear, yellow everywhere, I felt at home for some reason.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
My friend L then entered the bear and I asked her how she got there, she asked what I was talking about and after what felt like an hour of trying to describe where I was, the yellow bear turned to just a yellow bubble. The bubble would make an opening to the actual room and then it would close again and each time it would get bigger and bigger until I was back in the room. I had never gone in and out of hallucinations before on Salvia, and I didn’t get the negative side effects Salvia usually gives me (fear, panic, sweating, general discomfort). This was the strangest trip I’ve ever had, but I couldn’t find any meaning in it. It wasn’t as spiritual as any of my other salvia trips and I wish it could have been.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2006</td><td width="90">ExpID: 69519</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 23, 2022</td><td>Views: 380</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=69519&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=69519&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Salvia divinorum (44), Cannabis (1), Tobacco (47) : General (1), Combinations (3), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">195 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This is a report and reflection on an LSD experience that was significant [17 years ago].
<br>
<br>
My friend's uncle was on vacation. My friend was house sitting for them. It was a very affluent area of Southern California with very large homes. So, naturally we decided to trip there.
<br>
<br>
We had 10 microdots from Amsterdam origin. I had taken some before so I knew they were fairly strong. We set the setting very well. We had some pretty trippy films like Koyaansquatsi, and other arty films, which in hindsight maybe were too much of downers.
<br>
<br>
18:00 We each take a dose and let the ride begin. It all started well enough. Of course there were some weird things that happened like a giant toad showing up on the porch (In this area that is completely unheard of, we'd all lived our entire lives without seeing one). We watch some of the movies, they weird us out a little, but we're still hanging in there well. After about 5 hours when I know I've peaked I take another dose around 2300-2400. My two friends don't and think I'm too bold for doing so. Everybody was at about a +3.
<br>
<br>
We pass the next 5-6 hours tripping like normal from a +2.5 to +3.5 level. No big deal. Then the sun starts to rise around 0600, two of us try to go to sleep, and everything goes to hell.
<br>
<br>
My friend (I'll call him Henry) loses it. Right as my other friend (I'll call him Jimmy) and I go to sleep in separate places, Henry begins to really go into a bad place. He goes outside to the parking circle fountain and starts saying the devil is trying to get him. He won't stop. Everything he sees is somehow now demonic.
<br>
<br>
Jimmy is too tired to deal with it and ignores everything and I'm still tripping fairly strong from my second dose. I was about a +2.5. It was up to me to help Henry get through this. As time goes on, he just gets worse. He starts trying to call anyone he can for help, including 911. I'm a babysitter at this point, exhausted, but doing what I can to keep track of this now psychotic friend.
<br>
<br>
He continually goes for the phone, which is starting to freak me out since I don't want to go to prison (I'm on probation at the time). He tries to call his mom. He tries to call his long estranged dad to resolve things. He obviously tries to call 911 for help. Nightmare situation. Finally I get him to calm down by eating some fruit. "It's natural. It will help you. It helps your body and mind be pure." I have to sell anything I can to calm him down. In hindsight, we really should have had some trip enders/ diazepam or something, but we were all very experienced and didn't think anyone would go to the dark side <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">we were all very experienced and didn't think anyone would go to the dark side</div></div>.
<br>
<br>
So finally he calms down a little, and I go off to sleep after pulling all the phones I could find and taking them with me (before cell phones). Next thing I know there are about 10 police cars racing up the highway towards the house (the house was on a hill, and you could see the approach from a ways out). I immediately freak out thinking Henry has somehow called the cops. It was a small community and this was Sunday morning. They had no reason to be there except Henry. I try to get into the attic to hide, but I can't reach. I accept my fate as going to prison. The cars race by without turning into the subdivision. It was totally surreal.
<br>
<br>
At this point with my adrenaline racing, I'm now equally as awake as Henry, who is still freaking out. We banter back and forth for a little while and he announces he has to go to a church- it's the only place he'll be safe. I say F that, I can't drive and it's a stupid idea. I try to wake Jimmy who is now completely out and won't move. Henry is getting more agitated and after the cop scare, I just want it all to end.
<br>
<br>
Jimmy drove us all there in an old Honda Accord completely with torn seats and rust coloration. I found his keys and Henry and I went off looking for a church, with no idea where one was. If the story seems strange, it's about to get stranger.
<br>
<br>
So, after driving randomly, we finally find a church. I don't care if it's Buddhist, Islam, or whatever. I just have to get Henry inside so he'll calm down. Turns out what I found was a Southern Baptist Church. We're in a predominantly African American neighborhood.
<br>
<br>
So, two white boys, dressed, looking, and smelling as if they've been up for 24 hours roll into the middle of a Hallelujah praise Jesus kind of sermon. Henry, now the egotistical jerk I've come to loath, has to sit up front. We walk past everyone and sit in the third row. At first, it's fine.
<br>
<br>
Then Henry starts to speak, forgetting where we are. He talks far too loudly and is using curse words. People gasp. This continues while I try again to calm him down. Finally the sermon ends and I rush to the preacher. I explain my friend took drugs and thinks the devil is trying to get him. Basically I am begging him to help. As one of the greatest acts I've ever seen, the preacher obliges.
<br>
<br>
Henry and the preacher go into his office and talk things out. I went to the car to sleep for about an hour. I don't know what exactly they said, but Henry came out clear headed and lucid. Henry had been tripping since 6th or 7th grade. He'd never had a bad trip until that day. I don't know where he is or if he went back, but at least for the next few years none of us did acid.
<br>
<br>
The point in all this is, LSD is unpredictable. If you are going to do it, expect the unexpected and please prepare accordingly. I have no idea how a single dot could have caused such a prolonged negative effective. It was really one of the worst experiences, if not most interesting, of my life.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 116626</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 25</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 28, 2022</td><td>Views: 417</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=116626&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=116626&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Guides / Sitters (39), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">6 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dom/">DOM</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">300 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gel tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 13:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/alprazolam/">Pharms - Alprazolam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">265 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Trip report: 300ug yellow pyramid LSD and 6mg DOM
<br>
<br>
I took 6mg DOM and 300ug LSD at the same time at around 10:00pm toward the beginning of the month. I was prepared for an all-nighter as well as a fantastic time, as DOM has a special place in my heart.
<br>
<br>
T+1:00- DOM is a very long acting compound and it takes hours to fully kick in. At this point, the only thing I’m really feeling is the 300ug LSD. I tend to only take lower doses of LSD, as I’m not a huge fan of the headspace and it often gives me anxiety. However, when mixed with the stimulating euphoria of a phenethylamine like DOM, I find the usual anxiety non-existent. Typical LSD-esque visuals begin to flutter around my bedroom, mildly at first and then more intense. The art on my walls starts to all swirl in on each other, and dance ever so slightly back and forth on its canvasses.
<br>
<br>
T+2:00- The DOM is starting to make itself known. I jokingly refer to DOM as “2C-B extended release.” <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I jokingly refer to DOM as “2C-B extended release.”</div></div> I find the difference in effects to be negligible (DOM possesses slightly more of a body load than 2C-B but all the hallmark phenethylamine traits are abundant in both compounds). The main difference is that DOM can last up to 18 hours as opposed to 2C-B’s 6-8. I begin to feel physically stimulated with MDMA-like euphoria, although much more mild than actual MDMA. For an amphetamine, DOM is remarkably calm and serene. It’s street name, STP (Serenity, Tranquility, Peace) does the compound justice. I notice a slight libido boost, and a desire to leave my bedroom and go hang out with my roommate.
<br>
<br>
T+3:30- The effects of the DOM are now officially more powerful than the effects of the LSD. Most of the objects in the room have taken on a beautiful purple and yellow hue that varies in intensity and appears to flicker on and off. I can’t help but think that this would be an amazing compound to go to a concert or a festival on. The effects of the LSD are still present as well, and the tapestries in my living room swirl in and out of their borders and bring a sense of serenity to the room itself. My roommate is watching TV and we decide to watch a movie. I honestly don’t remember what movie we picked, and I paid minimal attention to it as by this point I was logged into the Farm telling people about my LSDOM experience in real time. Still, the presence of my roommate was welcome and soothing.
<br>
<br>
T+5:30- The movie ends. By this point, I’m actively peaking on the LSD and beginning to peak on the DOM. I still notice beautiful hues of purple and yellow everywhere I look, combined with the swirlies that have come to define LSD for me. The headspace is definitely unique, mixing these two chemicals. DOM tends to be mostly body load with a more neutral, slightly analytical headspace while LSD is, well… LSD. I felt no anxiety, but I know that if I wasn’t also on DOM, that likely wouldn’t be the case. The physical and sexual stimulation typical of DOM starts to creep back in, but it’s not overwhelming like 2C-B and MDMA can be. Pretty much everything about DOM, every time I’ve done it, does justice to its STP pseudonym. It is indeed quite serene, tranquil, and peaceful despite also being somewhat stimulating. I feel pretty fantastic at this point and I’m very happy I decided to give this combo a try.
<br>
<br>
T+7:00- I decide to try and draw. I’ve had success creating art on LSD before, but I’ve never tried drawing on DOM. I’m reaching the end of my LSD peak but the DOM is still getting stronger even seven hours after dosing. Damn, this shit lasts for a long time. The colors I’m using primarily are, you guessed it, purple and yellow. I now see these two colors in practically every single thing I look at. I attribute this to the DOM, as LSD has never had this kind of effect on me before. I drew for about two hours, and eventually without finishing my drawing I get bored and decide to find something different to pass my time.
<br>
<br>
T+9:00- I’m definitely in the comedown stage of the LSD, and I’ve finally plateaued on the DOM. I’m still actively posting in various groups and explaining my trip in real time. It’s around 7am by this point, and I still feel wonderful and stimulated yet tranquil, with no desire to sleep due to the DOM. I decide to accompany my roommate as she drives the kid to school, and afterwards we stop at Carls Jr and get milkshakes. Even outside, the colors purple and yellow dominate every aspect of my vision. Even my own skin appears yellow, while the sky shows brilliant streaks of purple. I start to wonder if maybe these colors might mean something that I’m overlooking, and as we pull back into our complex I really start to think how amazing these colors really are, as I’ve never had this particular type of visual hallucination before. We get back inside, and I decide to take my dog out. Walking around my complex was pretty cool, but I found myself turned off by the presence of other people and went to great lengths to avoid them during the walk.
<br>
<br>
T+11:00- The LSD and the headspace that accompanied it have all but faded away. I also feel as though I’m approaching the end of the DOM peak, mainly because the purple and yellow that dominate my vision are starting to dull. This makes me indescribably sad, as the constant presence of those two vivid colors were easily the coolest thing about this trip. Psychedelics tend to not last as long for me as they do for some other people. Most reports put a DOM trip at around 18 hours, but I doubt I’ll get anywhere close to that. I’m also finally starting to feel the effects of the all-nighter I pulled, and the idea of sleep sounds good for the first time since dosing.
<br>
<br>
T+12:00- I’ve definitely reached comedown stage from the DOM. The colors are all but gone, I no longer feel that welcome phenethylamine stimulation, and I’m starting to realize just how tired I am. It’s now around 10:00am and I decide to give it one more hour before taking a Xanax bar and at least attempting to take a nap.
<br>
<br>
T+13:00- I take a Xanax bar, and the effects of the DOM are all but non-existent. Within moments of taking the bar, I drift off to sleep and stay asleep for about four hours. Surprisingly, I wake up feeling well-rested and content with my LSDOM experience. This is definitely a fun combo.
<br>
<br>
Post-trip thoughts: I have a brand new respect for the colors purple and yellow. They were my spirit guides through this strange but fun and expansive trip. I always have a good time mixing LSD with a phenethylamine and this was no exception. However, this was definitely more of a recreational trip than an emotionally or spiritually significant one. If I try this combination again, I’d likely stick with the 6mg of DOM but add another 100-200ug of LSD on top of the 300ug I took for this trip.
<br>
<br>
Overall experience: 8/10, I’m someone who believes that each trip should teach you something and help you along the path to self-betterment. This trip didn’t offer either of those things. It was just an amazing way to kill 12 hours. I’m not saying this experience wasn’t awesome, I’m just saying it doesn’t rank high amongst the most “important” trips I’ve taken in my life. Thank you to everyone who took the time to read this!
<br>
<br>
-Mr. T<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2022</td><td width="90">ExpID: 116594</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 27</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 28, 2022</td><td>Views: 515</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=116594&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=116594&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), DOM (20) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 bowl</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/alprazolam/">Pharms - Alprazolam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">300 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/quetiapine/">Pharms - Quetiapine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 8:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/alprazolam/">Pharms - Alprazolam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 8:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">600 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/quetiapine/">Pharms - Quetiapine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">265 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
The Last LSD Trip Of My Life
<br>
<br>
Trip report: 400ug LSD
<br>
<br>
This report is going to be formulated differently than my other trip reports as I lost complete concept of time not very far into this nightmare. This <!-- trip also varies from other reports on this channel in the sense that it--> was not a good experience at all. What you’re about to read is an in-depth explanation of a full blown “unspeakable horrors” bad acid trip. I caution anyone currently tripping on anything at all right now to wait until you’re sober to read this. I wasn’t going to write a report on it at all, but I feel that it’s important for people to understand that when you fool around with LSD, this absolutely has a chance of happening to you.
<br>
<br>
I dosed 400ug LSD at around 11:00am yesterday morning. I immediately smoked a bowl of cannabis after taking the LSD and about a half hour after dosing my roommate woke up, which was nice because I do very much enjoy her company while tripping.
<br>
<br>
As I felt the very familiar LSD come up anxiety, I noticed that it was a bit more pronounced than usual, even bordering on fear as opposed to anxiety. Now, I should note that I’ve had spectacular trips before on this exact same acid at this exact same dosage <!-- (one of them is on this channel)--> so I didn’t feel any trepidation about the dose I took.
<br>
<br>
The come up period was progressing but the anxiety/fear associated with it wasn’t going away. At this point, I decided to tell my roommate I’d taken LSD. Sometimes I tend to avoid telling her when I’m tripping if I can help it, but even barely an hour into this trip I knew I had no choice but to tell her. She took it well, and I started pacing around the house checking out my tapestries, and I took my dog outside. I always have an intense desire to be outside when I take LSD, but my roommate wanted to stay in and watch TV. This created a dilemma: I could either take a towel outside by myself and sit under the lemon tree (the anxiety had progressed to almost all fear at this point) and try to calm down alone, or I could stay inside with my roommate and at least have another person with me.
<br>
<br>
The visuals are majorly picking up at this point, very strong for 400ug. As I said, I lost all conception of time very early on in this trip but if I had to guess I’d say about three hours was when it became downright terrifying. Usually, no matter how fucked up I am on any drug, I’m capable of telling myself “Mr. T, you’ve taken a drug. That’s why you feel like this, and eventually it will wear off.” Yesterday, that part of my brain was broken. I remembered I’d taken LSD, but the idea that I wasn’t going to feel this mix of terror and restlessness and desire to jump out of my own skin forever just didn’t compute. As a result, I started to genuinely believe that the trip was never going to end and that I was going to be stuck feeling this physical restlessness and raw terror for the rest of my life.
<br>
<br>
I sat down on my roommate’s bed, grabbed her as hard as I could, and just started shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. I remember looking at her and saying “I put two little paper squares under my tongue, how the fuck is this happening?” I also required constant (almost to the minute) reassurance that I was, in fact, going to stop tripping eventually and be fine. I didn’t believe it, though. I remember promising myself that I would commit suicide if I was right and these feelings really were permanent. The visuals were the most intense I’ve ever experienced at 400ug, with twisting tendrils enveloping pretty much everything I looked at. I kept getting up to go outside for like two or three minutes, just in some vein hope that the outdoors would calm the terror I was feeling, but when it proved useless I’d come back inside and just keep holding my roommate and crying.
<br>
<br>
At this point, there are two possible options in my head. I can call 911 and hopefully be brought down in a hospital setting, or I can take Xanax and Seroquel until this shit fucking stops. The first two Xanax bars did absolutely nothing, and I followed it up with 300mg Seroquel (I’m in the process of getting off Seroquel but I am keeping some extras in case of emergencies like this). I could feel the physical sensation of my body becoming relaxed and tired due to the pill combo, but it did NOTHING for my head, which by this point is operating beyond comprehension. There’s no possible way I can use words to explain the way I thought and felt at this period in time. Terrified, hopeless, overwhelmed, and psychotic don’t even begin to cover it. I gladly would have accepted death to make it stop, though.
<br>
<br>
I took two more Xanax bars (bringing my total to 8mg Xanax) and 600mg more Seroquel (bringing my total to 900mg Seroquel). Once that second round of pills kicked in, I slowly but surely started to come back to reality. For the first time in hours, I realized that I’d taken a drug and that the effects were not going to be permanent. I was still in a state of terror, but it became less pronounced as the massive cocktail of sedatives I took began to kick in. About an hour and a half after the second dose of tranquilizers, I was able to think somewhat clearly and rationally again. I now knew that I was going to be fine, and that I’d simply taken too much LSD and it threw me for a hell of a loop.
<br>
<br>
About two to two and a half hours after the second round of tranquilizers, I was tired and calm enough to sleep. I fell asleep at around 9:30-10:00pm and slept for 14 straight hours.
<br>
<br>
Post trip thoughts: I am NEVER ever taking LSD again, at least not by itself. It can be a fun add-on to combos at very low doses for me (absolute max 200ug) but never again in my life will I take just LSD by itself for a trip. I’ve never had a bad trip on anything other than LSD (with the exception of one shrooms trip where I ate WAY too much by accident and I don’t count that because it was my own fault) and I see no need to continue baiting the beast by taking it again. Phenethylamines and tryptamines only going forward.
<br>
<br>
Also, thank fucking god for my roommate. We’re very close, to the point of being family, but when it comes down to it she really is just my roommate. She did NOT need to spend her entire day trip sitting someone who was having the bad acid trip to end all bad acid trips. She could’ve just told me it was my issue and to deal with it myself, but she didn’t. She’s the real hero here, as a trip to the hospital would’ve been an absolute guarantee if I hadn’t had her there.
<br>
<br>
<!-- Like I said, -->I wrote this for the newcomer. 400ug is a decent sized dose of LSD but not heroic by any means. I’d also taken this dose before with spectacular results. LSD is unpredictable. You should always use the utmost care when taking it, make sure you’re in a safe place with a safe potential trip sitter, and NEVER think you’re above having a really fucking terrifying trip. I’ll also note that I’m 100% sure the LSD I took was real LSD and dosed correctly, and that this wasn’t a case of being laced or taking the wrong thing by mistake.
<br>
<br>
Overall experience: -10/10, this was quite literally the scariest experience of my entire life and I will never ever put myself in a position to repeat it. The amount of fear and terror present during those 8-12 hours were palpable and overwhelming, and it took a small army of tranquilizers to bring me back. Be safe, people. Don’t overtake LSD and remember that you don’t really take it, it takes you. Thanks for reading.
<br>
<br>
-Mr. T<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2022</td><td width="90">ExpID: 116591</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 27</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 28, 2022</td><td>Views: 1,079</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=116591&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=116591&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Cannabis (1), Pharms - Alprazolam (98), Pharms - Quetiapine (273), LSD (2) : Alone (16), Guides / Sitters (39), Bad Trips (6), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">52 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It was the end of an academic semester and we were about to leave our university hostel for our summer break, when one of us suggested that we do acid. The plan was made- we procured it and planned to do it in the evening. Our source said that the dosage was 150mcg per tab. We were a group of seven people with varying levels of experience with the drug. Some had done it multiple times, while some had never done it. Since it was my first time, I chose to take half a tab to be on the safe side. I split the tab with a friend while the rest of my friends had a full tab each. This trip report describes a condensed version of this experience that I can never forget.
<br>
<br>
6:13 PM
<br>
My friends and I were in a room on the top floor of the hostel building where we popped the tabs. I started sucking on my half tab while we had a good time talking and listening to music. A friend, N was playing a VR game.
<br>
<br>
6:30 PM
<br>
I left the room and went to the balcony in the hallway where I could see a panoramic view of the outdoors. The view was so breathtaking that I called my friends there and we enjoyed the scenery outside. One of them started playing Shpongle on a speaker. It went perfectly well with the view - there was a thunderstorm approaching from one side while the sun was setting on the other. The clouds were casting God rays. Trees were waving with the wind and the vegetation with the village scenery went on for miles. Even without experiencing any effects, it was a breathtaking sight.
<br>
<br>
6:35 PM
<br>
I started to feel mild euphoria and a rush. Others also started feeling similar effects and were giggling and having weird expressions. My friend "R" started to feel an energy going through his body that made him clench his fists and groan. I noticed that I was fixating on objects and glancing at their details more frequently than usual. Something definitely felt off. I was automatically smiling, having random bouts of giggling and I felt a strong rush of energy in my body.
<br>
<br>
6:43 PM
<br>
We went to my room as it had moody, colourful lighting and it was well decorated with posters and artifacts. We continued to talk and listen to music. The rush became more intense and it felt like I was starting to go crazy. Energy was building up in my body and I didn't know what to do which made me nearly panic. Amidst the buildup, there were short periods of relaxation that would come and go in waves. A feeling of nausea started creeping in and my stomach was churning.
<br>
<br>
6:55 PM
<br>
I was hyper aware and everything was intense and overwhelming. The energy increased even further and my face and limbs started to go numb. Talking and doing basic tasks was getting harder. The nausea occupied my senses and I felt like I was made of vomit. Things felt dream-like.
<br>
<br>
7-7:20PM
<br>
(what happened from this time period is a blur)
<br>
The numbness, rush of energy, nausea, and confusion continued and it felt like I would explode. The muscles of my mouth had tightened (this continued throughout the trip). It started to look like everything was grainy. My vision and body was vibrating with the energy and it felt like I could see in thousands of frames per second. I was in complete sensory overload. I could feel heat and cold simultaneously on different parts of my body. When I ate biscuits, their texture felt intensified. Even music felt like it had some sort of texture. Hell, everything felt like it had a texture!
<br>
<br>
Because of how overwhelming it was with people around, I decided to go to the hallway for a moment to fill my water bottle from the dispenser. As entered the hallway, I was hysteric after looking at my surroundings. Everything was swaying and it felt like things were loosely held together. Reality was beginning to disintegrate. Meanwhile, my friends were also starting to trip. R was blowing on the lights, having trouble holding a cigarette, and gawking at his surroundings.
<br>
<br>
The day to day things that I was thinking about before the trip felt distanced from my headspace. I let go of my phone and stopped taking trip notes for a while. Aspects of the trip like visuals, the body high, and my bodily feelings of hunger, nausea and so on just stopped mattering and felt pointless. Everything felt one and it became pointless to tell things apart. My inhibitions reduced and my conscience was affected. I could tell why people can do crazy things on acid.
<br>
<br>
As I went to different rooms with my friends, I realized that I was getting loose and falling apart or melting into the ground. What I knew as 'I' was just a bunch of loose concepts which I was holding onto. I imagined that if I were to drink water, it would flow out through the gaps in "my" disintegrating body, which was now becoming part of the surroundings. When I did that just to be sure, it obviously didn't happen the way I thought it would.
<br>
<br>
7:30-8:00PM
<br>
The kind of visuals that I was expecting had begun. Things were distorting and changing colours. Lighter coloured objects had a gradient going from pink to green. I could notice details in things that I normally wouldn't. Walls looked like they had stains and patches of brown.
<br>
<br>
8:00-8:30PM
<br>
We realised that we had to mark our attendance in the register at the gate.We had to do this while tripping balls and not arousing suspicion. We went in pairs. Walking down the stairs was difficult. As I reached the attendant's desk on the ground floor, I was experiencing peak visuals as I saw the open book. I lifted the pen, found the row of my name, navigated to the day's column, and signed in the box. All of this while the book was warping, swaying, and changing colours under my hand.
<br>
<br>
In N's room, I began to realize that my way of thinking and looking at the world was changing in some way.
<br>
<br>
Me: "You remember how ten minutes ago I was fucked and couldn't understand anything? Now, I have grabbed onto one bit of reality and I'm holding on to it just to feel what it's like and it's fucking amazing!"
<br>
<br>
I meant to say that my episode of confusion and de-realization brought by the come up was ending. The unpleasant physical symptoms had reduced. There were a few things which were constant and I could grab onto them to make sense of what was happening and enjoy the trip.
<br>
<br>
We were watching trippy videos with psychedelic music and the visuals and scenes shown on the screen bled into the surroundings. They weren't just confined to the screen.
<br>
<br>
8:30 - 9:00
<br>
I was on a different plane of thinking. I felt that the reality of daily life was a foreign concept. Mine had disintegrated and I could begin to see the other side through it. Hunger started to set in so I went to my room, found a packet of cake and sat on the bed to eat it. I took a moment to look around and I was awestruck. My room, in all its detail and beauty, was breathing, swaying, changing colours, and in a way, almost trying to talk to me. Sometimes, objects, especially heaps of clothes felt like they were people. I went back to trying to open the packet with all my might and then ate the cake.
<br>
<br>
I came to the realization that while recording my experience, I was using the limited language of reality to explain something that is devoid of that mundane reality- this was simply a futile exercise, like how explaining three dimensional space to a two dimensional being would be.
<br>
<br>
I found myself in N's room again, having deep conversations about the nature of the drug and how we were feeling, while he mixed a bowl of curd rice in a comical way. His face, way of interacting, his quirks, and so on made me develop a higher connection to him that made me tear up. I then realized that everyone's face had developed funny, cartoonish features.
<br>
<br>
9:00-11:00PM
<br>
I went from room to room (rooms of people who were also tripping), had conversations with them and watched videos while we experienced the effects of the drug.
<br>
<br>
We looked back at the time when we popped the tab, and it felt like an eternity ago. For me, time was non linear and I couldn't tell what happened in the correct order. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">We looked back at the time when we popped the tab, and it felt like an eternity ago. For me, time was non linear and I couldn't tell what happened in the correct order.</div></div> I was having profound realizations about the nature and meaning of reality that I simply couldn't put down in words. I would repeatedly try to explain it but fail in the process. My mind was working in a totally different dimension. The problems that humans face in day to day life felt stupid. I thought that I was superior to those who were not tripping.
<br>
<br>
Four of us went to the top floor again, to look at the nightly scenery and talk about what we were feeling.
<br>
<br>
Later, I found myself in my room, with the comedown starting to happen. While talking to my roommate, who was not part of the trip, he said that I was appearing totally normal. I made him record videos of me trying to explain what it felt like. At one point, I wasn't sure if I was coming down. I didn't want to be in that dimension of thought forever.
<br>
<br>
After a while, I remember being in the hallway with my friends who were also coming down. I was extremely relaxed, care free, and felt brave and wise. I thought that I could face any situation in life in this state. I could see life from a bigger perspective. We sat on the floor and continued to talk about the experience. I felt so relaxed that I unbuttoned my shirt and lied down on the floor.
<br>
<br>
12:00 AM
<br>
I was starting to feel sober and my superior thinking powers were fading away. Real life things such as hunger, bodily functions, and so on were now part of my headspace. I was still very relaxed, enlightened, and I felt like I was invincible. I watched a movie with my friends in N's room and then went to sleep in my room.
<br>
<br>
7:00 AM
<br>
I woke up early in the morning feeling completely normal. I had never thought half a tab would do this to me. The trip affected me in ways that I had never expected. There were three versions of me - the one before the trip, the one during the trip, and the one right after the trip, with all of them being totally different. Now I get what LSD is. I definitely see myself doing it again, but not anytime soon.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2022</td><td width="90">ExpID: 116421</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 29, 2022</td><td>Views: 245</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=116421&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=116421&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/syrian_rue/">Syrian Rue</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(ground / crushed)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">215 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
To start I will give a brief list of my past experience with 'drugs'. Anything you can pop, snort or smoke I have done at some point in my life. Through trial and error I have found what works for me. Now I only use small amounts of marijuana for anxiety (large amounts on the weekends) and, on occasion, entheogens to give me introspective insight. That said...
<br>
<br>
Set: Overall good mood. I just found out yesterday I wont be getting evicted, which is a big load off my shoulders. My intention for this trip was simply to enjoy the great affirmation that is nature during the peak of the fall colors.
<br>
<br>
Setting: Local city lake with 8 mile jogging trail, surrounded by woods, that wraps around the whole lake.
<br>
<br>
My friend H and I had decided to enjoy one of the last nice weekend of the fall, on acid, at my local city lake. H supplied the LSD for the trip (White on white with hand written 'Spookstock' across the middle of the sheet). We each took 3g of Syrian rue that had been powdered in a coffee grinder. We decided to dump the dry powder in our mouths, and chase it with water. This method seemed very effective.
<br>
<br>
T+ 00:30 - I can feel the mellow nurturing feeling of the rue coming on, so I decided to eat the two tabs of acid.
<br>
<br>
T+ 01:30 - At this point we have found an adequate spot in the woods where we most likely would not be disturbed. We smoke a blunt which started to bring my mild trip to a more visual level.
<br>
<br>
T+ 03:00 - I find myself on my back pondering the meaning of life and how it relates to my present situation. At this point everything that was coming out of H's mouth was negative. Usually this would steer my trip in an edgy anxious direction, but it didn't bother me much, other than the fact that I couldn't get him to think positively. I think my unusually calm reaction was because of to the rue. To quote the guy that sold me my first bag 'It's psychedelic Valume' [Valium?].
<br>
<br>
T+ 06:00 - Still peaking. The visuals are everywhere. I'm finding it very easy to slip into nirvana. A trait that I also attribute to the rue.
<br>
<br>
T+ 11:00 - Not peaking anymore but still have the 'Fun house mirror' effect in my peripherals, and patterns are obvious on the carpet and ceiling.
<br>
<br>
T+ 23:30 - Here I am typing this report. Movement and waves are still obvious on the ceiling and carpet. I don't feel like I will be able to sleep for a few hours.
<br>
<br>
I have eaten the same dose of this blotter two weeks before without the rue. It lasted 12-14 hours. That means that the trip literally doubled in length... wow! I have not noticed that effect with Syrian rue combined with mescaline (cactus). Although the same nurturing feeling was experienced with both combinations, and with neither mescaline or LSD individually.
<br>
<br>
The only negative effects are the fact that I haven't slept in 32 hours, and the usual stiff twitchy muscles that come along with LSD.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2007</td><td width="90">ExpID: 66995</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 5, 2022</td><td>Views: 294</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=66995&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=66995&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Syrian Rue (45), LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">500 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dxm/">DXM</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:15</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">135 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">58 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This has been the most intense, craziest experience of my life until this point. I have taken LSD before several times and tripped on DXM over 50 times on varying dosages before, So I was somewhat confident going into the experience.
<br>
<br>
It started out great, The drugs synergized amazingly. 500 mgs of DXM were ingested and on the 1:15 hour mark 135 ug of LSD were administered sublingually.
<br>
<br>
The LSD began to take effect almost immediately after administration which was unusual, The synergy was heavenly, full body euphoria and very strong visuals, It felt like my body was vibrating with energy, colors covering every object I can see, Music felt incredible and faces on my screen were warping and morphing into each other. I was getting more and more intoxicated that I was losing touch with reality, And losing the ability to enjoy the trip.
<br>
<br>
On the peak of this trip, 1:45 hours after taking the LSD, I reached a state of total confusion. I couldn't recall being on a trip, I felt very helpless and began to freak out. All neural signals were highly altered and interfered with each other. The visuals were very powerful and the body high was incredible. I was forced into a mental journey, I would understand for a second that I'm tripping and try to calm myself down, But I was too confused and altered to hold this thought. I reached a state that felt like it was my actual, weak self. It was myself before I was born and after I die. I was certain I was dead by this time, My heart rate was so high I felt like I'll have a heart attack any second now.
<br>
<br>
In this state, where I've lost all memory, experience, and logic, I felt myself seeking answers from some instinctive nature in me that became very powerful at this point. And soon this instinctive nature took hold and controlled my psyche. I was so afraid so mentally I resorted to this instinctive nature, and it was cruel to me. Made me more fearful, told me I fucked up and was going to die, and lashed me for it. So I accepted it. I accepted death and acknowledged that it was inevitable. I let go and right then I felt this calmness, a strange kind of calmness. It wasn't "you're going to be okay" feeling, Rather "You're going to die, It's hard but just relax and leave in peace", I felt like a prey that had just been caught by a predator. This experience had me thinking about the instinctive nature of living creatures and how it might have been hidden in our subconsciousness and overpowered by our smart, developed conscious minds. I felt like I had lost my chance, that I'm going to meet God, felt like the moment you suddenly wake up from a long dream (life) and back to your true self, and at this moment you realize the truth you've been seeking. The truth you've known all along but couldn't recall.
<br>
<br>
I think I was able to access some sort of inner-programing of the human mind. A baby who has just been born has no understanding of what it is or what is going on around it, but it has a guide that tells it to breathe, to drink from its mother's breasts, to feel safe and seek shelter around its parents. I believe I was able to access parts of my brain that I'm not supposed to consciously connect with. What some might call the sub-consciousness. It's what guides most living beings through their lives, and it's what's overshadowed by our experience in life. I'm fairly certain that this "instinct" carries indeed submission to a creator.
<br>
<br>
This is the first drug experience that actually led me to believe in a creator. Chance couldn't have implanted belief in a creator in our psyche. Existence and life are not possible. There has to be a creator, It's the only logical explanation to me.
<br>
<br>
It was only 8:30 hours after ingesting the DXM that I was able to return back to reality and realize what has just happened to me and what I've just been through.
<br>
<br>
Overall, this has been a traumatizing experience, and I'm suffering from a form of post traumatic stress at the moment. But I've learned a lot on this journey and have seen a lot, and that's what matters even if it was the hard way.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2019</td><td width="90">ExpID: 112913</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 8, 2022</td><td>Views: 471</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=112913&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=112913&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), DXM (22) : Difficult Experiences (5), Post Trip Problems (8), Combinations (3), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
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<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">18 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/2cb/">2C-B</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Beer/Wine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 15:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">75 kg</td>
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</table>
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<!-- Start Body -->
My 2022 Psychedelic Review - Installment #4.
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The following is the fourth installment in my 2002 Psychedelic Review:
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This experiment yielded very good results, and shed light on a few different topics I’ve been pondering. The first phase of the experiment involved the last of my 2C-B stash. This material seems to be very clean, of high purity, and reliably dosed (the little bird who sent it to me has a patient hand with volumetric dosing techniques). Like many people, I’ve found 2C-B to be the clearest, most comfortable psychedelic of the bunch. This run was my first time with 2C-B, although I had used 2C-I &amp; 2C-E back in the day, before Operation Web Tryp and the incarceration of the highest-quality vendors of these ‘Shulgin Chemicals’. So the only comparison I had to go by were the experiments with those phenethylamines, which occurred 20+ years ago – not to mention, those old dosages were totally eyeballed, and I was in a difficult time of my life; This time it would, thankfully, be much different.
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[25 September, 2022.] 2C-B (18mg, oral) – This was a very successful Museum Dose. I took the slightly bitter liquid just before heading out to a Youth Orchestra concert. I got to the hotel nice and early, when it was still light out. I pulled up a chair in the outdoor courtyard and fired up a couple joints and cracked a beer [Hazy IPA, made by the beer brewing class at the local university, and very good!]. First alerts came more than an hour after ingestion, nice color enhancement, etc. Come-up was very smooth, and I took a seat in the auditorium and made myself comfortable.
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There was a very entertaining wavey, swaying effect of some wall decorations, consisting of many long vertical pieces of wood, not sure what to call it but it was dancing steadily. Also, there is a mural high up on the wall of people in ancient, traditional dress, smoking big-ass spliffs and chugging beers and shit, the women flashing their tits and the whole nine yards. It looks like it was probably painted relatively recently, and it is really funny to look at. The room is called “The Library Lounge” but all the books on the wall are fake. The gloss-black Yamaha grand piano sounds good – maybe I’ll try to play it sometime, go in for a drink on an off-night or something… Generally speaking, Yamaha pianos are brighter-sounding and have a faster attack. Steinway pianos are warmer, and the sound “fills the room”. Billy Joel plays a Steinway, Elton John plays a Yamaha, for reference. The tone of this Yamaha grand was almost a bit harsh on the top end, but that’s to be expected in this type of room (with big, glass windows, etc)… … uh, not to mention the drugs intensify all nuances of the music, the good, the bad, and the ugly – in equal measure. That’s part of what we sign up for when we take these things, after all.
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The effects peaked an hour after that, and I strolled to the toilet through diamond-shining décor and swirling black and white marble. My eyes were pretty bugged-up at this point, so I just tried not to make eye contact with anybody. Otherwise, I looked and felt pretty normal.
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CEV’s were more like colors than actual shapes, mostly “chrome” orange and stuff, familiar hues with 2C… The Youth Orchestra were pretty far outta tune (they always are and I always notice it… Not sure if all audience members do or not, maybe I’m just sensitive to it? Almost sounds like the violins are going through a chorus pedal, or the detune function on an old Yamaha electric keyboard. The professional special guests, a trio,<!-- , The Headache Horse Trio (no, I don’t know where they got that name from),--> were an immediate contrast – totally intonated, and locked in.
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I took a walk around the fancy hotel during intermission, feeling good, and strongly wanted to head down for a massage, as by this point the sensual, entactogenic body effects of the 2C-B were really apparent. But this time I was pretty intent on staying for the second part of the concert. It was a good decision, as the trio were even better during the second half. They had loosened up a bit – I saw them drinking wine during the break, and it must have been just the right amount.
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I went into free-flowing thought while the music played, very pleasant. I always record these concerts for later enjoyment, and had absolutely no problem remembering to do so this time. The trio (cello, violin, and piano) did this big, epic piece called ‘The Four Seasons of Buenos Aries’ by a composer named Piazzolla, and it was amusing to listen to the accents of the Thai emcees pronouncing the Spanish titles of the movements and then translating them into English. My timing in this experiment was perfect, I was beginning to come down and had no problem at all driving home. However, I was a little bit tired and kinda “drunk feeling” later in the evening, worn out a bit, didn’t feel like talking, and had some choppy sleep… The next day I did the following:
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[26 September] LSD (1 tab, ‘Breaking Bad’) – Feeling pretty good the morning after the 2C-B and classical music, I decided I was up for a challenge. I’d read a lot about this cross-tolerance stuff, and the general consensus seems to be that “Phenethylamines build tolerance slowly and only affect tryptamine tolerance a little bit. / Tryptamines, on the other hand, build up tolerance almost immediately and affect phenethylamines fully.” So, in other words, 2C before acid, you’re good to go, acid or shrooms before 2C is a waste of 2C, etc… I decided to put this idea to the test.
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The tab I’ve been holding onto has a human eye on one side (I think it’s the character Jessie Pinkman’s left eye, from the famous TV show ‘Breaking Bad’), and the periodic table entry for Yttrium is on the reverse side. It was advertised as “320-350ug”, but in reality, it is most probably closer to 100ug, more or less. Once again, it’s very frustrating to not really know what’s what with these blotter tabs – The ‘Dr. Seuss’ tabs, advertised as 160ug, were stronger than these “320ug” guys, so that’s about all I have as a solid standard for comparison. This could be an analog (1P-LSD, LSZ, AL-LAD, ALD-52, etc, etc) – It would be amazing to have pure, accurately dosed LSD, even just once, so that I could at least say “Okay this what 100ug feels like. It was similar to that / It was different from this, in this way, etc…” Legalize it.
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First alerts came on pretty fast, maybe 15 minutes in. The peak was just strong enough for that day, totally manageable but definitely present all day long, maybe a +2.5 or something like that. The ‘City of Jewels’ style of CEVs were very pleasant to look at behind my eyelids, whenever I would periodically sit or lay down, and there was surprisingly very little to no ‘Tool Album Cover’ stuff this time around. Body sensations were almost nil, aside from a slight but very noticeable rise in temp. I was sweating lightly even late at night in bed. Next day I went for a very long drive (200km, all twisty mountain roads, beautiful views the entire way). Afterwards I finally got that 2-hour, super-strength, Thai massage I’d been putting off, went home, ate, read a book and talked with L, slept okay – no better or worse than usual.
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In terms of the cross-tolerance question: This one-tab acid dose pretty much felt like about half the strength of a previous two-tab acid dose – and perhaps 75% of the strength of the 150ug Dr. Suess tabs I’d had earlier in the year… The previous time [the 2-tab experiment] I’d had no psychedelics at all for nearly two weeks prior to the LSD, this time I’d had the 18mg of 2C-B only 15 hours before. There didn’t seem to be much dampening of the effect of the acid tab. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I’d had the 18mg of 2C-B only 15 hours before. There didn’t seem to be much dampening of the effect of the acid tab.</div></div> By contrast, in previous experiments where I had taken LSD before 2C-B, and Mushrooms before LSD, there was always a big drop in the potency of the second chemical taken. Does this rule hold true for most or even all phenethylamines and tryptamines? Unfortunately I don’t have access to unlimited quantities of both, but if I ever do, I’ll be very interested in testing out similar protocols to those of this weekend – phenethylamine first, tryptamine second.
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2C-B has a bit of stimulant push, but nothing too uncomfortable. At higher doses [I’ve tested it up to 30mg] the OEV’s are much more forceful and the body feeling is a lot stronger. <!-- Some people take as much as double what I did, and ‘PIHKAL’ contains an entry about a massive 200mg accidental overdose. Very few people have ever died from any of the 2C’s. At the time of the emergency scheduling of 2C-T-7 in the United States, only three fatalities had been publicized – all of whom had mixed it with other stimulants, snorted huge lines of it, etc, etc. The 2C series of drugs is a Bonafede winner in so may ways, so hopefully they can become more mainstream.-->
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The earliest experiments in my Psychedelic Sabbatical of 2022 involved the 2C-B that my little bird sent from the air to my hands. The bird is so kind, he or she actually gave me the first sample of the material for free, and then threw in a few more premeasured doses for free when I put in the main orders. This is how to do business, people! The 2C-B comes from a lab, probably in India or China. From what I understand, these sorts of packages very rarely get stopped by Thai customs – their big problem is crystal meth; psychedelics are very low down on their radar. Here are the brief experiment notes from these early trial runs with 2C-B:
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[June, 2022], 2C-B (8+5=13mg, rectal) – First try, and a great view of the full moon through binoculars.
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[June, 2022] Long Day – LSD morning, plus 25mg 2C-B oral, mushrooms later too… Wasteful… Still, with good humor all day, and with neon CEVs and “steering the direction of the trip”.
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[July, 2022], 2C-B (18mg, oral) - ++ - Swirling water bottle.
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[July, 2022], 2C-B (20+3=23mg, oral) - ++ - Lots of “breathing”.
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2C-B (23+4=27, oral) - ++ - “Very Good”, Miami-Blue (the pastel walkway). [The last 3 experiments probably all contained some degree of the – “Kid Rock” bubbling OEV’s – see the intro to the ‘Bawitdabaw’ video, from 1998, to see what I mean… It was played relentlessly on MTV at the time…
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My previous experience with 2C’s was in 2004, when I *legally* acquired 2C-E &amp; 2C-I. I was young n’ stupid at the time, and didn’t have a scale and just eyeballed the doses, etc, etc. I can remember a bit of the effects from 20-ish years ago, but that’s all I have to go by, same for E. It’s a goddamn shame – if I’d known what was up, back then, I would have bought a HUGE supply of as many tryptamines and phenethylamines as possible, measured out proper doses, and if I went slow, I may still have had some today! I was too naïve to know what was coming down the pike: RacResearch, along with several other suppliers got raided by the FBI in ‘Operation Web Tryp’, and some of those small business owners are still in prison today, from what I understand. This is heartbreaking… So, personally I haven’t had the opportunity to really compare drug effects properly in the past. I did write some journal entries about the 2004, 2C experiments, but that journal is long lost… In those days, there was no “dark web”. I purchased the chemicals with a money order, or possibly even a personal paper check. The websites were right out in the open – it was a happier, simpler time…
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[August, 2022], 2C-B (20mg, oral) + 1.5g Mushroom @ 10:00 a.m. – “Good body energy and uncluttered mind.”; Early-morning basketball day… Notes from end of day: “Not a great mix [I would say “not great to mix (anything of these classes, in general – they do very interesting things by themselves and don’t really add much to each other in combination.) At this time, I decided to abandon combo experiments for the future.]. Underwhelmed – WAIT LONGER
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[Aftereffects… Of course, the concept of combo experiments was not fully abandoned, after all. But in the future, the vast majority of experiments were conducted with a single psychedelic. In the next installment, I decided to give microdosing a try. Is it really all it’s cracked up to be?]
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<!-- …Stay tuned for installment #5.--><!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2022</td><td width="90">ExpID: 116720</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 38</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 21, 2022</td><td>Views: 465</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=116720&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=116720&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), 2C-B (52) : Various (28), Multi-Day Experience (13), Music Discussion (22), Retrospective / Summary (11), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">95 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I went to an EDM festival last night with a group of four people I'd met over an app for raves, a couple of whom were also planning on tripping. I got really good energy from them even though I didn't know them too well, so I was expecting to have a great time. At around 3:30 PM, I went to the porta-potties to drop my 110 ug tab. For reference, I had done acid only once before, in my room while voice chatting with an experienced tripper, so my tolerance is low. It was a philosophical experience and I got very in my head, but it was still enjoyable. I wanted to try it at a festival because I'd heard of people having lots of fun, plus I knew I was going to love the music and the vibes of the fest.
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At about 4:00-4:30, I was feeling the come up while listening to a set. The world was getting wavy and wobbly, in standard LSD fashion. I was having the time of my life, just running around and dancing in between sets. I got my first pash and ate some unappetizing snacks from a vendor. I went on the ferris wheel with one of my group mates, which was fucking amazing. This good energy went on for about 3.5 hours.
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This was about the time I started experiencing negative symptoms. I was at the main stage just enjoying the music (one of the artists I was looking most forward to). Earlier, I randomly started thinking about e-mailing one of my professors whose class I am behind in, and it started stressing me out, so I'm at fault for leading my trip in a bad direction. I took a couple hits from my group mate's joint because I thought it may calm me down, but boy was I WRONG.
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At this point I started feeling a bit paranoid, and people’s faces around me were distorting at a rapid rate. Thankfully I realized I was heading into bad trip territory and I told a member of the group. As soon as I said “I think I’m having a bad trip,” everything went into chaos. His face exploded across my field of vision and everything slowed down. I could hear my group members’ voices echoing around me in slow motion, and even though I turned around, it took a few seconds for me to see their faces. It was very odd, pretty much a state of limbo. The crowd in front of me seemed to freeze, like I was stuck in that point of time, but I could occasionally turn around and time would start moving again, albeit slower. They had pulled me away from the stage so I was standing farther back, but I could still see the lights and hear the music pretty well, which would help me later on in the trip. Time was going in loops, and I could see the people weaving in and out of my vision at points but everything still looked eerily the same. I was feeling really badly for putting a downer on my group’s night, which heightened the bad feelings. I was hyperfixating on one of my insecurities— the fact that I feel like I always am trying to make things about myself (even though I’m actively trying to avoid doing this). I told the group I was sorry for messing up their night and they were saying shit like “this is our night, too,” and “as soon as she said she was having a bad trip…” and “this is what I get for paying $150?” It just made me feel terrible.
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At some points during the experience peoples’ faces were expanding and turning gray and every time I tried to go closer someone or some force was pulling me back, likewise if I tried to move backwards, I was being turned back around toward the stage by the people around me. Occasionally I would talk to them and apologize for ruining their nights. Eventually (I had lost total perception of time at this point and my phone was in my locker, so I can’t say when) I realized there was some sort of emergency service looking after me, some guys dancing along with me and a small ring of medical professionals surrounding me. I think they were choreographing something because people kept dancing and walking around my field of vision, and I could hear some guys saying “what are we supposed to be doing again?” and someone was commenting, “yeah people forget you’re on it for like 12 hours and it can go wrong” so these people must have been informed about what was going on. This helped me a bit, and I started being able to control my experience a bit more, and I started sort of playing with the visual distortions, although sometimes things would go out of control. I could still hear the music and I was just vibing to it and dancing in place, so I knew I had some semblance of control.
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I was having a bad trip, but I still somehow ended up having a good time just experiencing the visual distortions. It was pretty scary, but I think I was able to mostly turn it around at the end. The bad trip mostly was over by the time the festival was over, around 11 PM; it was as if the last set had ended it. I walked back to my locker and got my phone and backpack and headed back to the metro to be picked up by my ride. I was following some cool people and offered one of the dudes a pash.
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I don’t think I’m ever going to combine weed and acid again.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2022</td><td width="90">ExpID: 116351</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 24, 2022</td><td>Views: 365</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=116351&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=116351&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Cannabis (1), LSD (2) : Festival / Lg. Crowd (24), Bad Trips (6), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
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<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
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<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/piperazines/">Piperazines</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(edible / food)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">few joints/cigs</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(flowers)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(edible / food)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">small lines</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/4_methylmethcathinone/">4-Methylmethcathinone</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">small bumps</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/4_methylmethcathinone/">4-Methylmethcathinone</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">9.5 st</td>
</tr>
</table>
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<!-- Start Body -->
I have just started the 12th year of my education and started my new college and I began making new friends quickly, within the smoking area I met many drug people, very friendly people who had all the right connections. I spent my first 2 weeks asking all these guys if they could get me acid but they never got me any.
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I had no real idea that I would be able to score acid this night but there was a chance, the friends from college (who I shall call M and H) were going up the woods for a camping trip which was odd because I was also planned to be camping that night and after accidentally setting a friends phone on fire we bumped into M who told us that we could get some acid off H back at their camp. I was skeptical at this point because I felt guilty that I had accidentally set my friends phone on fire, despite the feelings of guilt I decided I should seize the opportunity because I had always wanted to try acid, and I was still happy from earlier in the week where I had received an award for excellent GCSEs. My drug experience is not massive, before I had done magic mushrooms, mdma, piperzine, bud (which I smoked everyday for about a year), cocaine, codeine and ketamine, mdma and mushrooms were my favourite but I had always wanted to try lsd. So with enough drug experience in my opinion to be ready for lsd I was excited and very confident about taking this drug, which I believe was a very important factor to my trip.
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<br>
I went with M to see H and I took one pill which I believe was piperzine not mdma because it barely affected me. H sold me 1 sugar cube which was supposed to have 2 drops of acid put on it, I bit half off straight away which I believed was to be taking one drop of acid and went back to my campsite, I gave the other half to my friend. After about an hour I started to feel effects (giggling, open eyed visuals, and a good feeling of well being) I stared at the campfire and began enjoying the sight of flames fighting the air, I then started seeing very small maggots crawling within the wood on the fire, this is when I first noticed the acid, soon after I began getting visuals more and more commonly, but I was still missing this pure, euphoric feeling that I always associated with lsd. But my visuals made up for this, I began seeing a parrot face that looked slightly evil but still hilarious and safe in a way, like a baddie in a child's cartoon, I was seeing this evil parrot face everywhere but I never felt threatened or scared by it, I just laughed. I don't remember much after this except seeing a few visuals in the nights sky, from what friends tell me I was just chilling out smoking a few joints and getting mildly stoned,
<br>
<br>
2 friends of mine went off to the nearest supermarket and on the way they saw H and brought him back to our campsite, I told him the acid wasn't affecting me much because it had become not very intense. H by this point was extremely intoxicated on 3 cubes of this acid and some mephedrone which made me believe I should have taken much more of the acid, H decided he would give me another half a cube of acid for free and some mephedrone which I gladly accepted, when we got to H's camp we had a few bong hits, joked about a bit, I took another half a cube and did a small line and small bomb of mephedrone. I returned back to my camp and on the way I began to feel slightly nauseous, most likely because of the vile drip of mephedrone.
<br>
<br>
I got back to camp and my friend Moff who also done about the same amount of mephedrone said he felt sick but the mephedrone had started to affect him but it did nothing to me throughout the whole night, after about half an hour of chilling at the campsite I began to notice the second hit of acid affect me, it was like I had come up again on the first hit and doubled it, (I believed that the first hit had no acid in it and the effects were just placebo) at this point is where the trip gets interesting but also hazy.
<br>
<br>
I began seeing visuals everywhere I looked, I stared at my friend Moff and shadows were going across his face but the light was pushing the shadow back, like a battle between good and evil across his face and good was pushing the evil back. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I stared at my friend Moff and shadows were going across his face but the light was pushing the shadow back, like a battle between good and evil across his face and good was pushing the evil back.</div></div> I then turned to my friend G and looked at his face, his faced morphed into that of an evil black and white clown (like the clowns from insane clown posse) then the moose that smokes cigarettes from the simpsons. I found this so funny but I realised if I was on mushrooms, a hallucination like that would put me on a bad trip because I am fairly frightened of clowns.
<br>
<br>
I then closed my eyes and saw spirals that I usually see whenever I take piperzine, on piperzine the spirals usually take form of a tunnel like a bonus level on the sonic the hedgehog games, but on lsd these tunnels felt like I could go through them, it was like I was watching television and the camera was flying through these tunnels super fast and then it started collecting gold rings just like on the sonic the hedgehog games, I collected rings until I reached the end of the tunnel at which there was an egyptian ankh and when I collected it I was thrown out of my visual experience and I opened my eyes suddenly with a jump and the only word to come out my mouth was WOAH.
<br>
<br>
After my intense closed eye visual experience I decided I needed to urinate (which isn't common for me when I take drugs as I often believe I need to pee when actually I don't and this leads me to extreme paranoia) oddly enough this acid didn't give me the usual wetting myself paranoia I was able to urinate perfectly fine except when I did it felt as though the urine had come out my penis forwards then as it dipped it curved back in and towards my left leg, like it had its own gravitational pull, it was a very interesting experience to say the least and because it was in total darkness I couldn't see it so I have no idea how I came up with such an idea.
<br>
<br>
I had many many other visuals for example I saw about 30 dogs which were actually plants and a friends bicycle handlebars became a white stickman walking, the most epic visual I had though was when I stared at the sky and trees the sky that I could see through the trees resembled a ufo but not the kind of circular one that everyone thinks of, this was a high tech space ship and it looked as if it was coming closer and closer until my friends caught my attention. I spent the rest of the night seeing hilarious visuals and chatting to the remainder of my friends who were still awake, (it was about 5am by this time) we talked until 6 and then we went out to watch the sunrise, G did some photography work where me and moff had to hold hands and it was just a beautiful feeling watching the sunrise hanging out and chatting to two of my best friends.
<br>
<br>
By 6 oclock all the strong effects of the acid had worn off and I was beginning to come down, although I felt no real comedown the only bad effect was I felt really weird for about a day and I was insanely tired and lethargic, it became effort to even breathe. Unfortunately I cannot tell more about my experience because LSD did not give me much of a headfuck which is what I love about mushrooms, it was a very visual trip and the main thing that happened during the trip was the visuals I experienced, they kept coming constantly. Although the main thing about this trip was the visuals I also had a very interesting body high, it was very relaxed but not tired, it felt as though there was a slight weight on my shoulders but in a pleasant way, my face and legs tingled throughout the night and the lsd put me in a great mood the whole night.
<br>
<!--
<br/>
All in all, I loved the experience so much, I will deffinately be doing it again, only next time I do it, ill do a more consistant dose and probably a higher dose, at no point in the night did I feel as though I was heading towards a bad trip, it was one of the best experiences of my life and I believe I've found my favourite drug.
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-->
<br>
<br>
<span class="erowid-note">[Erowid Note:
The term "acid" has been used as a common name for d-LSD since the 1960s. Although confusion associated with newer psychoactive substances has lead some people to use the term "acid" to refer to anything LSD-like or anything psychedelic on blotter or sold in drops, we believe this represents an error and not a useful evolution in language.]</span><!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2009</td><td width="90">ExpID: 81422</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 22, 2022</td><td>Views: 560</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=81422&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=81422&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">4-Methylmethcathinone (458), Piperazines (99), Cannabis (1), LSD (2) : Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">180 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Acid is intriguing. If you would've told me 5 years prior to this experience that I would be having it, I would've laughed at you. It was, however, one of the most important experiences I've ever had, even if I would've never imagined myself having it.
<br>
<br>
I am a Christian, and have been ever since I was a boy. I have played piano/keyboard at dozens of churches as a part of a worship band that gained a lot of popularity in southern California. I still have a very strong faith, even though many Christians would tell me what I've done is wrong, and to write about it is even more wrong. I disagree with them, and it will become very evident as to why in the body of this report.
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<br>
I'd experimented with various hallucinogens and drugs after a painful break up with a girl who I was sure was going to be my wife. I figured I should spend some time experiencing all the things I hadn't, because of all the time I imagined I had wasted spending with my ex. Cannabis was first, then Mushrooms, then LSD. <!-- I don't recommend this approach to novices. It is best to be in a place where you feel secure, at peace, and in tune with your SELF and your EMOTIONS before jumping into something so world-changing as psychedelics.-->
<br>
<br>
My first experience with LSD was my best to date. It was impromptu, and exciting. A friend of mine was dating someone who was able to get us each a tab of something called 'Obama.' We acquired the goods and went back to the place we had deigned to trip at. This being my first time with acid, I wanted to play it safe. My mushroom experience prior to this had left me with some unpleasant ego experiences, so I wanted to make sure not to overdo this first go with acid. Each of us dropped our dose. I had one tab, my friend had one tab, and my friend's girlfriend had two tabs.
<br>
<br>
It's worth mentioning here that we were FOOLISH to not have taken precautions, and ended up tripping without a sitter. <!-- Always trip with a sitter. Having someone who's mellow, down to earth, and nurturing can help direct the flow of a trip in a way that is more pleasant and cohesive, ESPECIALLY if you are a novice.-->
<br>
<br>
We smoked a single bowl, and sat back in the garage waiting for the acid to take effect. I prayed, like I always do when I engage in taking hallucinogens. I always ask God to show me something that I wouldn't be able to see or understand otherwise <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I prayed, like I always do when I engage in taking hallucinogens. I always ask God to show me something that I wouldn't be able to see or understand otherwise</div></div>, and so far, I've always managed to see or understand something that I wouldn't have been able to otherwise :)
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The cannabis was a very mellow indica with a sweet taste. We began to feel the onset of the acid amidst the body high of the cannabis after about 10 minutes. It was at this point that we decided we needed to be in the Jacuzzi. All of us put on our swim wear and made our way to the Jacuzzi. I began to notice that even though it was dark out (around 6:45 in the early Winter in So Cal), my eyes were phenomenally sharp. It was as if the sun had just begun to set after the afternoon, but it was in fact already done setting, and only the sunset's afterglow was visible in the horizon.
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<br>
Once in the Jacuzzi, we began to talk, discussing the onset of the LSD. The experience of being in water has always helped me begin to understand the beginning of the trip. My muscles began to feel more alert and responsive. My body's high from the indica we had smoked earlier began to meld and intensify with some new sensation. I began to feel tremendous. it was as if any of the creakiness in my bones, or the soreness in my muscles had dissipated into nothing. It was as if I my body wasn't there at all.
<br>
<br>
I tried to explain to my friends what this was like. It was as if the part of my brain that normally sends signals to the extremities of my form had dispersed throughout my body, and no longer needed to send messages back and forth; it was simply a part of all of my being. If I wanted to move, I could do so without any effort or thought. My sense of muscular control had skyrocketed. This something that my friends had noticed about me, because I'm a tall guy (6'5'') and have a tendency to be clumsy from time to time.
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<br>
In the midst of explaining this phenomenon, however, the bamboo grove near the jacuzzi began to move in a way that I've never seen before. The sets of leaves from the bamboo shoots were all dancing with one another in perfect harmony. They interwove, intermingled, and combined with one another in ways that defied logic. As one of the leaves would move, it would immediately reveal the next leaf, which would in turn follow the original leaf to reveal yet another leaf. The synchronized movements of the bamboo in the wind were so profound to me that I stopped talking completely, and simply stared at the bamboo in front of me. My silence signaled my friends to look at the leaves also. They did, and we shared a moment together, all realizing that the order within nature is apparent and beautiful. We realized that the intent of man to forge a more convenient order out of perversions of nature was evil. We realized that the world was beautiful.
<br>
<br>
Though the profundity of the leaves was not lost on me, I will admit that I was underwhelmed by the intensity of the visual effects. I assumed I had just not taken enough acid, and figured I should remember this for the next time. My friend's girlfriend said that we should go adventuring, which we all agreed upon. Being the only one of us with a vehicle, I had elected myself to be the one to drive.
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<br>
Stop.
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<br>
Take a moment to understand that what I just wrote was incredibly foolish. I drove my vehicle on roads with other people while I was under the effect of a hallucinogen. NEVER DO THIS. WHAT I DID NOT ONLY ENDANGERED MYSELF, BUT IT ENDANGERED OTHER PEOPLE AROUND ME WHO WERE COMPLETELY REMOVED FROM MY SET OF CIRCUMSTANCES. IT WAS SELFISH AND WRONG OF ME TO HAVE IRRESPONSIBLY ELECTED TO DRIVE. NEVER DRIVE UNDER THE EFFECTS OF A HALLUCINOGEN.
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<br>
Thankfully, nobody was hurt from my driving, which was an adventure in and of itself.
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I was foolish in thinking that the hot tub visual distortions were as intense as they would be that day. I had not even peaked yet. The only reason I believed I was okay to drive was because the acid didn't affect my brain in the way that mushrooms did, or even the way that alcohol had in the past. I was still incredibly lucid. I understood myself, who I was, my relation to my surroundings. My id, my ego, and my super-ego were all intact, and though I felt more sensitive to my surroundings, I didn't feel overwhelmed.
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<br>
My friends and I got in my truck, which only has a single bench. We all cuddled up on the bench and squished in and began to drive. We decided we would go to Table Rock, a beach in Laguna which is characterized by a single rock formation in the middle of the beach which looks like a table. It is a beautiful, private, and peaceful place where nature hasn't been completely squelched out by buildings or smog or things of that nature.
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<br>
To get to table rock, we needed to travel down the freeway. I had driven this freeway drunk (FOOLISHLY) several times in the past, so I figured that it wouldn't be so bad to drive it tripping. After all, I was perfectly aware that any visual effects were a result of the drug I had ingested. Everything was normal at first. All that indicated to me that I was under any influence was the lingering body high, at least until I began to accelerate.
<br>
<br>
People who take acid sometimes call the feeling of your brain while on acid 'frying.' This is because your brain can feel 'hot,' as if you were just using it as a muscle. The best way to describe it would be to say that my brain feels as my muscles do after I lift weights.
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<br>
The feeling of my brain frying began to hit me on the freeway, and I began to peak. The lane dividers that were normally just white painted parallel lines on the freeway lifted themselves off of the freeway, and were racing next to my truck at eye level. I was impressed by this. But, I could tell that the hallucinations were beginning at a certain distance away from me in the foreground, and this helped me to retain my center while I drove. After the lane lines lifted off the ground, the freeway began to bend and twist. It turned into what looked like a roller coaster, but only in the distance ahead of me. About 30 yards in front of my truck, the road normalized and righted itself, appearing normal in a 30 yard bubble around my truck.
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<br>
There was a moment during our drive in which my friend's girlfriend demanded we pull of to stop at a convenience store. This, to me, was a violent assault on our present course, but I wasn't sure why. I explained why we couldn't go to the convenience store as follows: 'We are on our way somewhere. If we leave this way, the way will be lost to us. If the way is lost to us, it can never be retrieved, only reforged. A reforged experience is perverted from its original intent, and can only ever offer to us a lesser wisdom than the original experience would've wished. It's important that we make it to our destination, and all other things can wait.' My friends were fascinated with my words, and stared at me as if I had dropped some kind of wisdom nuke on them.
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<br>
Something else struck me then. I wasn't perceiving velocity as the same as it always had been. I felt myself in a variety of places at the same time. As I increased or decreased my speed, the area of this sense would increase or decrease respectively. I sensed all at once:
<br>
<br>
-where I was presently
<br>
-where I was previously
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-where I was going to be in a relative amount of time to where I had been and where I then (presently) was.
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<br>
In simpler terms, I felt like Dr. Manhattan from the Watchmen. Time had dissolved itself. Past melded with present melded with future, but only in the sense of velocity. I could guide this stream. If I changed lanes, I could feel my 'time-path' shifting, correcting the changing future before itself. I marveled at this, and felt incredibly safe. The position of every car around me was known to me, as long as it was in my bubble. Every lane change they attempted or executed was predictable to me, without a moments thought required.
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<br>
My mind felt as if it was all working at once. Everything made sense. All things connected. All things interwove and danced in the same scene. There was no space between anything, simply invisible strings of time weaving all things together in a set of fluid moments that flowed like a river. It was clear to me that time didn't exist, and this revelation made everything appear in a new way to me. Depth of space seemed to dissipate. Whatever distance things were from me was irrelevant, an illusion. I could instantly be in any of these places, and the distance between myself and anywhere was a lie.
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<br>
We finally arrived at Table Rock after traversing a freeway, a highway, some local streets, and another highway. The drive was overwhelming to me, but I knew better than to let that get to me. To lose your sense of the ability to cope and adapt to situations as they come is to invite a bad trip for yourself and for those around you.
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<br>
At Table Rock, you must descend a staircase that is usually fairly dark. To my party and I, it might as well have been lit up by spotlights. Our eyes were so dilated at this point that everything was visible. Every crack in the cement, every splinter of the wood steps further toward the beach, every leaf of the creeping ivy along the sides. Not only were they visible, but in the darkness, their colors were easily identified and vivid. Once we stepped into the sand, the world changed for us.
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<br>
Every little dune in the sandy beach was an eye socket making an expression at my friends and I. This may sound disturbing, but it was quite friendly. It was as if an artist used the sand to express every human emotion that can be communicated through the eyes/eyebrows. The rocks of the cliffs that enclose the beach were giant, old, stone faces. Each had a stern wisdom. The waves crashed, and reverberated through the cove in a way that was gorgeous. Sound cycled in and out. The tides didn't stop with the water, they echoed further into eternity with every foamy ebb and flow.
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<br>
Early I mentioned that my muscles seemed more alert and responsive. Table Rock's rock isn't very hard to climb, or very big by any measure. Normally however, it took my friends and I about 45 seconds to 2-3 minutes to get up on top of the rock (considering it was usually dark, a little wet, and otherwise could be perceived as mildly treacherous to climb to the sober person). I made my way over to the rock, and within 5 seconds I was atop it. My friends watched me climb, and asked me quizzically how I had made it up there so fast. 'I don't know,' I replied, 'It almost seemed as if the face in the rock told me how to climb it.' And that's really the best I can describe it. Every hold was apparent to me. Every movement in my body responded immediately to my end desire. I knew I wanted to be on top of the rock, and my body complied with my desires to change these thoughts into the present reality.
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<br>
My friend's girlfriend asked, 'Aren't you afraid to fall?'
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'Not really.' I replied.
<br>
'Why not?'
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'Because you can never really fall off of the Earth, only more onto it.'
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<br>
My friends laughed at this, and we all just took that trueness of gravity to be reason enough not to fear falling anymore. 'It's like the earth is just trying to give you a hug,' my friend said.
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<br>
The trip began to diminish at this point. It was about 3 hours in. There was a flag near a light that we all watched. The colors and the shadows danced together in a way that was surreal. All depth of field was gone, and we were with the flag as it danced. To this day, if I go to Table Rock and look at the flag, it still dances in the same way, and I'm able to remember what I learned that day.
<br>
<br>
We all reflected about our lives. We spoke little then, but thought about a lot. I realized that in taking LSD, my perceptions which were colored by lies and propaganda about LSD had been eliminated. I realized that my perception had changed about something which I had previously been sure about. I realized that not only had that perception changed, but many of the things I once perceived had shifted and transformed into new ideas, as a result of inputting new information into my mind.
<br>
<br>
This startled me.
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<br>
My perceptions had changed. I could change my mind about something if I wanted to. I didn't have to believe or think in set patterns or modes, I could adapt and modify my mind as I saw fit. Just like the bamboo leaves near the jacuzzi all bent and swayed at the beckoning of the wind, I could change my mind at the beckoning of my soul. If I felt something was wrong, or something was untrue, I could set my mind to apply a new set of understandings to that topic.
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<br>
To this day, that understanding of perception has been colored by my experience with LSD. I feel free. The evils and ills of this world can only affect one as much as one desires to be affected by them. Other than that, we are free. Our minds are our own. A great gift of freedom from God himself to question and enhance and enjoy.
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<br>
<!-- I have had several other trips since then, and am planning on tripping again in the very near future. I hope this reflection about my experience proves useful to someone out there considering jumping into the realm of psychedelics. Remember to be responsible with yourself, with your mind, with your emotions, and with the people around you should you choose to take a journey like this.
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God bless you and keep you.--><!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2008</td><td width="90">ExpID: 88236</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 22</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 26, 2022</td><td>Views: 306</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=88236&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=88236&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : Small Group (2-9) (17), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms - P. cubensis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(edible / food)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 9:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">180 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Evening after dinner
<br>
Dosed 1 (125UG) tab of LSD
<br>
30 minutes later ate 1.2 grams of golden teachers
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<br>
Soul bomb. I had this planned for a while now. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I had this planned for a while now.</div></div> The perfect opportunity arose over the weekend. I obtained a tab and had around an 8th of mushrooms. I had done my prior research and decided on 1 tab and 2.25 Gs of mushrooms. (For a grand total of about 4 grams per what I had read and converted.) It was also suggested to stagger the tab and shrooms so that the peaks come together. Let me preface. I've done lucy a grand total of 2 times in my life. Mushrooms 4-5. This was uncharted territory for me.
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<br>
I take the tab and pre-heat the oven with a pizza slice to throw the mushrooms on. 20 minutes pass - still not feeling anything. At this point I seriously consider taking another tab. But remembering how horrible my previous lucy trips had gone I let the thought pass. At +30 minutes I can feel the come up and swallow the tab. My desire to eat is diminishing so I quickly break up the shrooms and pull the pizza out of the oven. I get a few bites and swallows in. On my last bite...Projectile vomit into the sink. So out of my 2.25 I would say I kept about 1.2 down. Fully accepting what just happened I laughed, washed the sink out, and went to the couch.
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<br>
A good friend had recommended Disney's Soul. Grabbed it and threw it on the TV. I could feel the shrooms and lucy together now as my vision started to change with trailing lights and affects. The movie was perfect and enhanced it in every way.
<br>
<br>
+1 hour 30mins - I was still steadily climbing toward my peak and started to sweat profusely. The movie had ended and I had forgotten to queue up something else. Normally my mind would freak out at this point but I found the weirdest sense of calm. It’s like the lucy and shrooms were fighting for control but I still had a say in what went on. The room felt uncomfortable so I left and sat in my room at my computer desk. Sitting in silence with the windows open and lights off, I put my feet up on the desk and started tripping even harder. I’ve always joked that my rental home is haunted. Well, I had a full-on conversation with the spirit sitting in the corner. I was not mean, but firm, and stood my ground. I simply asked why they were here and what their intentions were. It simply replied that this was its home before it was ours and it wished to stay and be left alone. I requested the same and it left.
<br>
<br>
+2-? Hours - I felt another Presence near me and it asked directly what I wanted. My vision completely changed over as I turned my head to see what or who had said that. I saw geometric patterns shaping into something similar to the Tool’s talking heads album cover. I told it I wanted to learn everything. Yet everything around me blinked out of existence. I watched myself be completely erased to ashes. But at the same time I wasn’t upset and didn’t freak out. I watched the ashes fold back in on themselves. The mass continually expanded and connected to every living thing. From there it went on to encompass my room, the entire complex, the state, the earth, the solar system, and then the universe. The message came through. We are all one. Everything is One and will return to One. You are not alone because we are all the same. The smile that came across my face is something I will cherish for the rest of my life. The voice came again, “do you accept?” “I do”, I replied.
<br>
<br>
The next thing I remember is feeling a light reaching from my pelvis to the top of my head. The feeling was pure bliss. I can only equate it to what a full body orgasm must feel like. Being a male, I did not think this was possible but it felt like it was from a woman’s perspective. I remained in this state for what felt like an eternity but it was the greatest feeling, warmth, and love I've ever felt. My body convulsed and the waves of euphoria from my pelvis got stronger and stronger building to an unbelievable release. I was shot through a kaleidoscope of lights and visited many different regions and time periods. I learned languages and cultures. It felt like I had lived multiple lives. Then just as quickly as it had started I was back at my desk.
<br>
<br>
+8 hours - I remained seated for quite some time and tried to comprehend what I had just experienced.
<br>
<br>
+9 hours - As the shrooms started to wear off I took a few hits from my bowl and laid down. Falling asleep with a smile on my face and a gratefulness for being shown exactly what I needed to be shown.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2022</td><td width="90">ExpID: 116735</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 30</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 27, 2022</td><td>Views: 509</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=116735&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=116735&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66), LSD (2) : Alone (16), Entities / Beings (37), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
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<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
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<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">132 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Wow, what I'm about to recall isn't everything that happened during the trip, it's just the vivid visuals I can recall on the spot from that exciting night.
<br>
<br>
I bought two hits from a friend and I had 4 other friends buying 1 hit of fine quality blotters. We all decided to take our hits, go to a barbeque festival in town, and then hit up b's house later. The first hour nothing, just excitement from all of us as we await the peak. Second hour I remember people walking past me saying softly, 'acid, are you on acid?'. Then about 2 and a half hours pass, I start to feel a weird sensation in my body.
<br>
<br>
My friend messes with a random person at the festival and I laugh uncontrollably. It felt better than when I was on ecstacy the first time. I felt an amazing jolt of happiness and euphoria zoom past my body. Then I remember talking to alot of people as I walk around the festival for another hour or two.
<br>
<br>
Feeling more euphoric then paranoid, I transcend with my friends about a half mile up the road from the barbeque up to s's house. We eventually find out he has taken 2 hits about 2 hours ago and is tripping balls. All 5 of us go to his courtyard and I start to get a low paranoid feeling. Very annoying and antsy feeling of when this is going to stop and why am I out in 50 degree weather other than a nice warm house in a nice warm chair.
<br>
<br>
After talking to s we head back to the barbeque. Ahh, I was tired of that, but they all wanted to go back so I decided why not. When walking back to the barbeque everything seems odder and akwarder. Like the spotlights on me and everyone is laughing.
<br>
<br>
We join a barbeques table and attempt to steal alcohol. We fail, but paranoia didn't strike me at the time. The man that caught us was nice and I could feel his kindness and realized he was a kid too and had fun. After getting kicked out we went to b's house. His room is a very good environment. His room is the attic, his ceiling is low, and his mom is very cool about what we are doing. We all sit and try to talk, but not enough words could work themselves out of us to start a conversation. As we all sit in confusion and wondering, I start to get hit hard with bomb ass visuals.
<br>
<br>
I kick back on b's bed and look at his ceiling. The green chunks in the ceiling flow like water in a river and move so fluently and gracefully. As I stare up for a good 5 minutes, I only see green traces moving swiftly. The sound is not my friends, I start to realize. Instead, its a peaceful sound as if I were on a beach. Seagulls in a distance to the sound of waves hitting each other on an open surface of water. I stand up, appalled at trippy visuals, yet not expressing my fear.
<br>
<br>
One friend soon suggests we put on the doors. I thought it would be dull and boring, but it was actually very trippy. The sound of jim morrisons voice stood on a pedal stool while I looked up from 500 feet down, learning and learning from the words he spat out. When light my fires keyboard solo approached, everything was dead silent and black. I yelled 'Hello', I got nothing. I stood up, tapped on z's shoulder and he turned on the light. Wow, intense.
<br>
<br>
About 4 and a half hours into it and I am peaking. Wow! am I peaking. As I move my head I see traces and traces galore. I talk to b's little brother as he's watching conan o brien. Some weird guys on and is talking in this eccentric and obnoxious voice while being dragged offstage. I cannot hold it in any longer. I burst out a laughter and cannot stop. Everyone hears me, sees what's on and laughs with me. I study everyone's amusement, everyone looks like a silly clown with different silly expressions. Everything is moving swiftly. Everything. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I burst out a laughter and cannot stop. Everyone hears me, sees what's on and laughs with me. I study everyone's amusement, everyone looks like a silly clown with different silly expressions. Everything is moving swiftly. Everything.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
I go outside and it is about 30 degrees and strongly humid. For some reason I look at the grass. It all intervenes together, like a pattern. Then I realized, there are patterns in everything. I look to my right, b's standing by me on the patio watching the grass's beauty. When I go back inside I look at my phone messages. S has called me several times. I call him back, he tells me to come over hes having a very bad trip. Me and two others get bundled up and walk about a mile and a half to s's. We all talk about acids great effects and a culture that was constantly on acid.
<br>
<br>
We all get to s's house, and smoke a cigarette on his picnic table. B spots a possum. It looks beautiful and bright, but as b got closer to inspect it the fucker hissed at him. I then saw past his innocent beauty and saw clearer it was a deranged rabid son of a bitch possum. After that we go inside s's and he seems to want us to stay with him because he is bored, although we all knew he was just scared to have a bad trip again and he wanted people around. We say fuck that, but in a more courteous manner and walk out of his house. As soon I open the door I see a firetruck pass his street with sounds of urgency coming out of the truck. I get some strange vibe everyone at b's house did something bad. I then realized n called several times on my cell phone. We headed back to b's house. On the way back, we managed to receive alcohol and lots of it. Wow, I call n back to realize they were ok and him and d were just bored.
<br>
<br>
As we get back its been about roughly 10 hours. 5 in the morning, our bodies all drained as we lay on b's carpet talking. An hour of waiting and we all decide to go back to s's. 7am and all 5 of us reassemble, talking about how crazy everything was. Everyone tired and drained, especially drained. I head to my house at 8, still feeling awkward and unusual. That next day I had the worst day ever. Drained all day, not hungry at all, can't grip on reality, and mild paranoia.
<br>
<!-- Acid is very unique. I really like acid and intend people to use with caution and dont do anything obvious that will get you caught. --><!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2006</td><td width="90">ExpID: 60415</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 5, 2022</td><td>Views: 350</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=60415&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=60415&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Festival / Lg. Crowd (24), Glowing Experiences (4), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
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<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Unknown</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 4:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(dried)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 7:15</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">145 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<span class="erowid-warning">[Erowid Note:
A substance(s) in this report might be identified incorrectly. Erowid reviewers question the author's identification of the drug described. Although the report is included in the collection, the substance might be something other than the author believed it to be.]</span>
<br>
<br>
My bf and I decided to do a double trip day while my house was empty, and because I got to experience two different types of trips back-to-back I wanted to describe the differences I noticed in the two.
<br>
<br>
1:00 – Me and the bf made a pallet of blankets, pillows, and all comfy things we could find on my living room floor for us to trip on. This was what we did in the past and it was a perfect set up. Then we went to the store to buy a bag of those delicious little Clementine oranges and some blackberries. The blackberries ended up being good for snacking as well, more on that later.
<br>
<br>
1:30 - Me and the bf placed two tabs of LSD on our tongues and took a shower so we would be clean and fresh for our trip and also so I could remove all my makeup (definitely suggest this for anyone who wears makeup). I kept the tabs on my tongue/in my mouth for basically the whole shower but my bf chewed and swallowed his after about five minutes because he couldn’t take the bitterness <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">my bf chewed and swallowed his after about five minutes because he couldn’t take the bitterness</div></div>.
<br>
<br>
1:45 – Bf and I sit down to play the PS3 game Eden (very nice game), which I was enjoying but the bf was starting to feel uneasy with, so he stopped playing and started making his way to the tripping pallet and I kept playing for just a few minutes. The LSD itself is pretty bitter and can make your tongue numb, which was part of the reason for getting the fruit beforehand. The blackberries were perfect to start with because they have a little bit of bitterness to them while still being sweet and then the oranges were so flavorful and refreshing while not being very filling, we ate the entire bag by the end of the day.
<br>
<br>
2:00 – Both of us are now lying on the floor on our pallet and are starting to trip pretty hard. I feel a lot of euphoria about everything. My mind starts becoming very active and because of that it was like I was leaving my body behind in some ways, like it wasn’t really necessary for the trip at all. I re-lived some of my happiest moments from the last few years like my birthday spent in Guatemala and my trip to Africa when I got to go bungee jumping. These visions were most vivid when I closed my eyes and just relaxed on the floor, and I could feel almost everything I felt during those experiences. Like I felt the adrenaline all over again from the bungee jumping experience that was many months ago.
<br>
<br>
Besides seeing these things I saw a lot of random images and short clips of memories. Even when I would start thinking of something like looking for a job or the death of someone close to me I was still in a very positive frame of mind and could see the best in every situation and could understand the situations so much more clearly. Something that I think may have influenced my trip was a realization I came across in the weeks leading up to the trip that most of my friends are all Hispanic and that I am naturally very drawn to the Hispanic culture. I say this because many times during my trip I would find myself in a Hispanic-themed place like a refried bean factory (what?), or at a fiesta with mariachi players, or overhearing a conversation in Spanish that I somehow understood even though I can’t speak it or understand it normally. Time was not on my mind at all and I didn’t even look until we started to really come down, so I didn’t know when exactly each of my visions and hallucinations happened. The bf and I found it really nice to hold hands while tripping to let each other know we are there for support, and to acknowledge that we are each having our own special trip that couldn’t possibly be completely explained to anyone. I would say I would be comfortable being physically close to my other best friends I know well because that is how the LSD made me feel in general, not just because he is my boyfriend.
<br>
<br>
Another note on this experience, and the previous time we did LSD, is that we got SUPER hungry. And it wasn’t even that we felt very hungry, it was more like everything sounded SO GOOD. Example: I shared my refried bean factory moment out loud with the bf and he replied with “mmm, chips and salsa” which I replied “oooh, guacamole”, and so on until we had to stop ourselves from going crazy over Mexican food.
<br>
<br>
4:30 – We are both still tripping but much more mildly and decide that we still want to do shrooms after and order mushroom pizzas to ingest them on. We go pick up the pizzas while still buzzing a little bit, but everything was very happy and calm still and I had no paranoia about being in public whatsoever.
<br>
<br>
5:30 – After having a couple pizza slices we grind up 2.5 grams of shrooms for each of us and eat it with one of the pizza slices. I’ve had it in tea before, which was about the same level of trip as I got from eating it, but one other time I had a whole eighth of shrooms and took them in lemon juice to start extracting the psilocybin before ingesting, and that trip I tripped some serious balls. Like more than I ever have any other time in my life.
<br>
<br>
5:45 – The bf and I grab some oranges, my headlamp, and a bottle of water and head out for a walk to my neighborhood park. Many people were out because it was a Sunday night and a lot of people were coming home from the weekend, so that made me slightly uneasy knowing I may have to interact with my neighbors, but otherwise I did not feel paranoid to be outside. It was a lovely evening and ended up being perfect to start our second trip.
<br>
<br>
6:15 – We are sitting beneath some power lines at the back of the park when we notice the trip beginning. First it was apparent to us that even though the sun was going down, it seemed to be getting oddly brighter in the park (there were no street lights and the moon was only half-full). Then we noticed that we seemed to be able to SEE the power lines vibrating. It was like we could see the energy field right around each wire. I also noticed that if I looked at the sky, even with all the light pollution, I could very vaguely see most of the stars I usually couldn’t see. Granted, both of these are likely hallucinations but they seemed very real and both my bf and I saw the same things. We then take a walk through this very dark, wooded area and it felt so magical that we walked back through it three more times. I felt like I was attached to every tree, shrub, stick, leaf, etc by a tiny, tiny string and that as I passed the string did not break but instead became infinitely thin. It was kind of like string theory, except I saw/felt it happening. I felt very connected to the woods and nature and felt very safe there as well, even though it was very dark. Turning on my headlamp seemed like a disservice to the nature around me in its natural sleeping state, so I never ended up turning it on.
<br>
<br>
6:45 – We head back to my house to finish out the trip. My cat was the best part of this trip I would say. She was absolutely majestic and beautiful to us and we couldn’t keep our eyes off of her. When she would let us pet her for a while we were in heaven. She seemed to know something was up but was very calm around us nonetheless. In my experience, having an animal around for a shrooms trip is a really good idea because it is more of an open-eye, full-body experience and if I don’t have something positive to focus on, it could lead to having a bad trip. At least that’s what I was thinking when I was sitting there marveling over this beautiful creature that lives in my home with me. I had some serious moments of clarity and wonder while on shrooms, but unlike LSD, it was all with my eyes open, looking at things. For instance, I was checking out the ceiling for a while when I noticed how the air vent messes up the continuity of the ceiling from wall to wall, but how it is necessary for the air conditioning to work properly. This idea I then applied to five or six other random, unrelated situations in my head very rapidly like how a fancy party has to have trash cans and a cleanup crew to work properly, even though they are physically undesirable to the party atmosphere. The other situations I honestly couldn’t remember after the fact, but at the time it was all so clear and was epiphany-like.
<br>
<br>
7:45 – Towards the end of us tripping we headed to my bedroom because we figured my roommates would be coming home soon. My bed was absolutely heavenly and put both of us into a lucid-dream like state. We were very relaxed but not necessarily falling asleep just yet. We decided to hug because it sounded like a good idea and because we had really only come into contact when we held hands during the first trip. That was the best damn hug I ever had. (Anyone catch that song reference?) It felt like the bf’s hand was covering half of my back at once and was really warm, and the feeling of being hugged by another human was just so euphoric. It was like I could feel any stress I had left being released out of my body and the oxytocin was pumping.
<br>
<br>
8:15 – We have a bowl of weed out of my pipe to finish out the evening, at about 5 big hits each. This actually brought back the shrooms feeling some and mellowed us out even more. I have smoked while on shrooms before and while it was physically awkward to do in that state, it had a very nice, synergistic feel to it. We decided to wait until the end though to give the shrooms a full chance to run their course. It was a really nice ending to the trip day and after we still had energy to play some video games for a couple of hours.
<br>
<br>
Post-trip - The next day I felt off, groggy, and sleepy all day. I had a headache most of the day. These effects I have experienced every time I’ve had shrooms but never on LSD. I always feel like a freaking champ the day after LSD. For the rest of the week I had more vivid dreams and felt just a bit happier in general. I also felt like I had connected on a deeper level with the bf and it was a lasting feeling for sure.
<br>
<br>
TL;DR - Overall this was a very eventful, enjoyable day <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Overall this was a very eventful, enjoyable day</div></div> but next time I will stick to just one or the other when I go to trip. LSD wins out in my opinion because it is easier/more enjoyable to take, it is more guaranteed to give me a happy/euphoric trip, and because I don’t get a nasty hangover the next day. Shrooms is more open-eye based and I saw more colors and open-eye hallucinations. LSD is more closed-eye based and I was in more of a lucid dream-like state where I could think of what I wanted to at times and could control my trip more IF I wanted to.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2014</td><td width="90">ExpID: 105015</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 24</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 8, 2022</td><td>Views: 522</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=105015&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=105015&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Mushrooms (39), Cannabis (1), NBOMe Series (539) : General (1), What Was in That? (26), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
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<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">60 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Umm its really hard to talk about these kinds of experience as most often you don't really have any frame of reference. I kind of need to get into a clear "meditative" headspace to even remember most of it. Also I personally try to not talk in terms of "woo" but its hard to describe things otherwise. I'll try my best to make some sense.
<br>
<br>
The trip started off like usual but it didn't take long to completely lose all sense of reality. I was in an eternally dark void for a while, it wasn't bad but nothing existed except my awareness, however unlike what happens usually, this awareness wasn't aware of itself. I couldn't perceive myself as anything (I didn't even try, that possibility didn't exist). Suddenly there in the middle of darkness there was a light and there were, for a lack of better word, "portals" to different realities. They kind of looked like clocks.
<br>
<br>
Most of the time I would close my eyes and just forget completely that my eyes are closed. I travelled so many worlds with their own laws of existence and felt like I've lived so many lives. Every time I opened my eyes I would remember that I am a human being who is a specific person who has taken a drug to trip and even then visuals would just be intense. It was very easy to forget that I was a human being who is tripping. On the come up I even completely forgot I was conscious and it was very easy to mistake my own existence as a verse in a song, a guitar solo or a shade of emotion <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">it was very easy to mistake my own existence as a verse in a song, a guitar solo or a shade of emotion</div></div>. I was listening to Stairway to Heaven and only when Jimmy Page's solo ended I realized that I was a person listening to a song and not the sound of the guitar.
<br>
<br>
I had no idea what I was but it felt like I knew "how" they worked and "why" they existed. Note that the word "felt" is very important as there is no frame of reference at all to explain the validity of this experience. Even on an atomic level I could understand how the entire fabric of reality was constructed and I was just amazed thinking "ah so this is how this thing works, what's next?"
<br>
<br>
For the whole journey I kept mistaking myself for other things. For example after I "fell" into one of these worlds, I saw mountains of colors, rivers of grass and it felt like millions of years went by and I watched the planet/universe age from beginning to the end. I could experience everything going on in that reality and kept trying to find out what "I" was. At first I thought I was the blade of a grass, but then seeing that the blade was a part of the entire field I thought I was the field - but then seeing the field was a part of the planet I thought I was the planet - but then seeing as it's part of the universe I felt like I was the universe. However I saw the universe age and end resulting in non existence and which point I concluded that it must not be what I am because it ended.
<br>
<br>
At some point I concluded that I must be what is making these experiences happen - this was a mistake as I quickly learned just how out of control everything was.
<br>
<br>
This repeated itself many times, each time in a different version of reality, most of which seemed "incomplete" in a way. These worlds were infinitely complex but because of missing "pieces" they weren't the final version of reality. Every time I went on to another version I thought "ah, so this is what the other universe didn't have". The missing piece would most of the time be a specific law of physics, an incomplete loop or a lost memory (I know this sounds like "woo" but I have no other words to explain those feelings) I finally came to the conclusion that I wasn't something that existed or that can exist, but I can only be the thing that "experiences existence".
<br>
<br>
Finally I was falling in the eternal blackness again and fell through the 2 hands of a clock "between 0 and 1" (I know real clocks don't have 0). All the other clocks around me were black and white and only the portal to our reality was colorful.
<br>
<br>
This was our reality, our universe and I saw how the universe was constructed, zoomed back into earth and saw the entire planet (again, no frame of reference to prove this is not an illusion so please take it with a grain of salt).
<br>
<br>
At this point some version of "I" was forming in my head but soon I got whipped out of this reality again but for the last time.
<br>
<br>
This time I was shown a world which was not ours. This with pink skies, oceans that were glowing, trees that sang and it was filled with just eternal love and happiness. I cannot describe how "complete" I felt in this world and it felt more like "home" than home can ever be. It was this perfect world that existed outside the concept of duality. In that world I gained a vague understanding of what was missing from our world (real reality, the one I saw before this).
<br>
<br>
Then I got booped back into our reality, into a mind and then into a body. I had this understanding that humans were perfect souls, sent into an imperfect reality so they can influence it and make it perfect. The missing thing that we have to offer to the world this time, was "love". This brought in me a sense of understanding of what humans were here to do. I understood that our brains are always envisioning a world where our soul wants to exist and so it is our purpose in life to create a world like that.
<br>
<br>
Overall it was really beautiful but due to the unpredictability of such high doses, I wouldn't recommend it to people that much.
<br>
<br>
Sorry I'm not sure how to word it properly - these kinds of experiences are very hard to remember, let alone word properly and tell others about.
<br>
<br>
<span class="erowid-note">[Erowid Note:
Claims of measured microgram dosages for LSD are usually unsupported. Quantitative measurements for LSD are very difficult to do and cannot be done casually. Without further detailed information about how the measurements were derived, it is reasonable to assume that most statements of microgram dosages of LSD on blotter or in microdots are either misinformed or overstated.]</span><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2021</td><td width="90">ExpID: 116621</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Not Specified</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 22</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 15, 2022</td><td>Views: 302</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=116621&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=116621&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : General (1), Unknown Context (20)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">Repeated joints/cigs</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 6:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(flowers)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">131 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I have always been into altering my state of mind and changing the way I think. My favorite drug by far has to be ecstasy, but I hate the hangover I get from it as I come down, it really puts a load on my body. To date, the best exp I had with drugs was hippie flipping (x and shrooms). I have never candy flipped before (x and acid). In south Florida it seem like there’s a “drought” on acid. Thank God I reconnected with an old friend of mine. We had been hanging out for a while now because he wanted someone to smoke weed with. Eventually we begin talking about psychedelics, I told him about my experiences with them and he told me about his.
<br>
<br>
Setting: My friend’s backyard when no one was home. The sun is shining brightly, a few light clouds in the sky, iPod hooked up to stereo. I arrived at 9am, and took 4 hits all at once upon arrival. My friend, P, came out to greet me, and told me he would be skipping half a day of school with me, go back to class, then get home at 3 to continue sitting me. It was a good arrangement.
<br>
<br>
At 10 I start giggling and laughing at nothing. I feel all my anxiety melting away. P keeps asking “if I feel it yet” and I am not sure, music just sounds great. I have the Beatles playing, Hendrix, zed Zephlin, etc. My girlfriend starts IMing me on my phone. She seems to be having fun with her new friend and it bothers me somewhere inside that I have to fight for her attention.
<br>
<br>
P leaves at 11ish, and as soon as he leaves everything starts kicking in stronger, I know I am tripping when I closed my eyes and I saw these 2 beautiful curved lines in my mind, surrounded by darkness, they seemed so huge, so beautiful, they were red and where cut into segments, and in those boxes there were more lines, and those lines changed color. I sat like that for a while.
<br>
<br>
Thoughts seem to be pouring into my head, one “revelation” after another. I begin to feel more free. I had worn a dress shirt and dress pants for the trip. I take off my shoes, I take off my watch, my wristband, everything in my pocket and unbutton my shirt and rolled up my sleeves. It felt so good to be so free. I begin to walk around the yard, I look up at the sky and I am amazed by the grandeur of it all. The sky so blue, the clouds so white, the grass is so green. Staring up at the clouds and watching the shapes turn into things, or animals is so pleasurable. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I look up at the sky and I am amazed by the grandeur of it all. The sky so blue, the clouds so white, the grass is so green. Staring up at the clouds and watching the shapes turn into things, or animals is so pleasurable. </div></div>
<br>
<br>
At around 12 it feels like time has indefinitely slowed down I am laying in his trampoline and the sound of my phone scares me for a second. P calls and he asks if I feel anything yet. I told him the truth “The best way to describe it is I feel like a brand new baby. Everything is filled with wonder, things I have never noticed before have become amazingly interesting. This is what it would feel like to be half blind and half deaf all my life and suddenly have all my senses become perfect.”
<br>
<!--
<br/>
He says “Yea bro that’s exactly what it’s like, well I will be home at around 3 so I will see you then.”
<br/>
-->
<br>
I began to feel the hippie spirit, I thought why do other people hate people because of race or just because they are different? Life is about love, and that’s all we should spread. My gf came back online and was IMing me again. She didn’t like the idea of me being high, but I told her she could ask me anything, that my answers would have a different meaning in this state. She asked if I ever thought about cheating on her. I was honest and said “I only really thought about it once in the beginning but that was before I really got to know you, and once I did know you I didn’t want anyone else.”
<br>
<br>
She seemed like she was occupied with her friends at school to pay too much mind. I asked her the same question, and this was the beginning of my ego death. She said “Well once.”
<br>
<!--
<br/>
“With who? I won’t be mad just be honest”
<br/>
<br/>
“I'm kidding”
<br/>
<br/>
“be honest, I won’t be mad really.”
<br/>
<br/>
“You don’t know him…. I was just kidding anyway!”
<br/>
-->
<br>
Ego death, it sometimes isn’t an easy thing. Thoughts rushed my mind, like what kind of joke is that, I knew I was being lied to. She said she had to go and she loved me and she was gone. Her words filled my mind for hours after this. It was difficult, to know that you have put a year of your life to go through misery just to know it was all in vain.
<br>
<!--
<br/>
A couple months back me and an old friendgirl of mine went to the movies together and we both dropped x. at the end of the night we both ended up at the beach and it was 5am in the morning and she was completely naked on top of me. She’s a beautiful girl, defiantly a 9 on anyone’s scale, plus she’s a sexaholic. I wanted to have sex, but I couldn’t because I thought about my own girlfriend and how much it would bother me if she ever did that to me. On the cid it just made me feel like “You should have fking done it just so you can rub it in her face!”
<br/>
-->
<br>
It hurt, and the cid just kept raising more questions. Should I ask her about it and press the issue more? Or should I live in the bliss of ignorance? Everything fell into place, my mind told me the reason she doesn’t want to say who it is, is because he is part of her life now, and maybe one day soon I will get the news that I have been cheated on again.
<br>
<br>
I truly felt ego death. So I decide that I don’t wanna ruin my trip so far and I put on the Beatles “Here Comes the Sun” and I feel like crying because it just holds so much more meaning. I put on MGMT “Time to Pretend” to make my mind state more happy. Life is wonderful, I get up and walk around, I get water a few times, I explore this new environment. I go back and sit down, I put on some rap and RnB and reggae and just vibe for a minute. P comes through the fence and scares the shit out of me for a second.
<br>
<br>
Then I greet him with joy that I don’t have to think about what’s going on with my girlfriend. P is a very happy and optimistic person and is always fun to be around. It almost 3pm, we start talking about everything, and his idea’s to balance mines makes me feel so human, conversation is so interesting. He pulls out a bag of Marijuana, its “Arizona,” I have smoked Arizona before and they aren’t very high grade so I wasn’t impressed.
<br>
<br>
I took 2 hits of the weed because I didn’t want to dull my lsd trip. I give P the keys to my car and we are off to anywhere. I tell him to think about me in this literal sense “I am on vacation, you’re my escort, you plan where we go, you can use my money, my car, I am just not making any choices about life right now. I am on vacation and what you say goes.”
<br>
<br>
We go to a wing place and I haven’t eaten all day so the food tastes great, but the environment sucks. We go and buy some sunglasses for me. I look in the mirror and I am surprised at my own reflection, I look like I'm rich? P says, I would think u were a drug dealer if I didn’t know better; you’re always so well dressed.
<br>
<br>
After that we go to a park, the water looks amazing. The view of the sky is great, I just lie down in the grass and listen to music and explore. P is such a good sitter and it’s his first time doing it. So then I tell him I want to walk around and he comes with me. Just walking around listening to music feels wonderful. I feel at peace.
<br>
<br>
We find this campfire site with some wood set up by the park already to burn. P goes on a mission to set it on fire. At the point I am laying on a table, I have a cigarette, and I realized throughout the day I must have had like 10 cigarettes. The fire is just starting to catch and it starts pouring rain and I have my phone and iPod on me, I hide under a tree while P tries to light the fire but its raining too hard so we start running to my car, we are soaked and we didn’t even make it to my car. We stand under a shelter and there are these two old ladies’ doing yoga and its tripping me out to watch them move in perfect sync. P shows up with my car and we sit under a shelter and talk for a while.
<br>
<br>
He takes us to this nice restaurant and we are still soaking wet, we get some “chicken cheese tacos” and we r both soaking wet and cold, I order tea because I am freezing. After we r done eating, he drives himself home, and he makes sure that I am sober enough to drive. I drive home, I made sure to concentrate because I knew I was in the comedown part of my trip at 9pm. I start thinking about my girlfriend’s words and it bothers me deeply. I call a friendgirl of mine who use to be more than just a friend to me and I break down. Millions of thoughts race through my mind about the subject. <!-- and today, 2 days after the thought I had on cid are still surfacing…
<br/>
-->
<br>
<br>
Ultimately I had a great experience. I felt like a brand new baby, everything was filled with wonder for me, I forgot how good it feels to be a child. I felt like a blind man seeing everything for the first time. I felt like a deaf man hearing for the first time. I cannot wait to do it again, but cid is scarce in south Florida. I felt reborn, like I grew so much that day. I want to have that feeling again. It’s amazing how something so little can unplug me from society for a whole day, and that wasn’t even quality cid. <!-- I think my next trip will be shrooms just because it’s more available and because you always know what you getting.-->
<br>
<br>
<span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. <a href="/chemicals/show_image.php?i=dmt/dmt_contraindications1.gif">Don't do it!</a>]</span><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2010</td><td width="90">ExpID: 85607</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 16, 2022</td><td>Views: 308</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=85607&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=85607&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Various (28), Relationships (44), Guides / Sitters (39), Glowing Experiences (4), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">400 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">65 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Here it goes, the story of my voyage from the depths of hell to meeting myself (the Absolute).
<br>
<br>
A few months ago I did 400ug of LSD. At that point I had about 10-12 trips under my belt, but never going further than 200ug or 2.5g of Golden Teachers. I thought I was ready to go deeper. In hindsight, I was still very much a newbie psychonaut and extremely reckless with my set and setting. This happened in my house with friends over. There were 6 of us, 3 of us including myself took LSD but the others only took 200ug. All close friends (extremely inexperienced sitters) except a girl I didn't know well nor trusted.
<br>
<br>
I was in a decent state of mind before the trip (pretty neutral), but after taking the tabs, as usual, I felt very anxious waiting for the onset. Then it came after about 20 minutes. My anxiety spiked, as it was extremely intense. The sober guys were loudly playing the PlayStation, yelling at the TV while playing Fifa and 2 of them started cooking in my kitchen. They made a mess and even managed to melt the lid of my pan on the kitchen stove. Funnily enough I was the one who noticed this while on a very challenging come up phase, already tripping balls. I saw the lid burning on the stove and asked if this was normal, as in that state I couldn't tell, yet I felt it to be wrong on some level.
<br>
<br>
This was the beginning of my paranoia (no shit). I felt an overwhelming sense of impending doom, like I fucked up on a massive scale for some reason and that I was about to be punished. People still yelling at the TV, <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text"></div></div>I remember thinking that all I needed was a quiet, relaxed, controlled environment to calm down and I was getting the exact opposite. So I kept getting more and more anxious until I started panicking as I couldn't handle it any longer.
<br>
<br>
This is where psychosis began. I remember hearing footsteps on the building stairs, then an ambulance siren in the street, and I was convinced that the police was about to arrest us. I kept repeating "I did nothing wrong, I am a good person, why is this happening". At this point I was still far away from the peak. While coming up further, my memories get fuzzier and far in between, so I am mixing in what my friends told me happened.
<br>
<br>
I remember feeling the deepest terror I've ever experienced, apparently I kept screaming the same phrase, something along the lines of "we are all one thing, there are no consequences". As I was screaming loudly and it was pretty late at night, this finally got my friends concerned and they tried talking to me, but I was totally out of it. For a brief moment I even remember getting violent, I slapped a friend while he was trying to take me from the living room to my bedroom while screaming that there are no consequences to anything.
<br>
<br>
They made me lie on my bed while talking to me. I heard their voices, telling me to stop screaming and trying to reason with me. Pretty soon I closed my eyes. This is where the real show began. It could only start with my death. I reached a point of existential culmination, like every single moment that I ever experienced was in service of getting me right here, right now. I thrashed, and fought, and screamed for my life. I didn't want to face death. But it was inevitable, I couldn't control it, there was nothing I could do to stop it. And finally, I embraced it. For the first time, I truly surrendered. It was like my whole life was this amazing movie and THIS was the grand finale. So I might as well sit back and enjoy it.
<br>
<br>
As you can probably tell, this was the turning point. Death turned out to be nothing like what I imagined. I jumped planes of existence. Time and space became meaningless. My friends' voices morphed into what I can only describe as voices of other entities that inhabited that particular plane of existence, one that I was just catapulted into. These voices, they were most definitely NOT part of my identity. They felt human but at the same time God-like. I wasn't even the center of attention. It's like they were chilling in this dimension and they just saw me enter screaming and panicking for no reason. So they talked to each other making fun of me.
<br>
<br>
Not in a loving way, not in an concerned way, it was like "look at this idiot, what the fuck are you yelling for? Wake up". I started explaining why and what I was feeling, and they proceeded to completely demolish everything I said. Through simple, straight-forward language they conveyed the ultimate Truth of who/what I was and what was happening to me. Actually, it was more like they were trying to remind me of things I already knew but somehow forgot. They revealed the cosmic joke to me.
<br>
<br>
All my fear vanished, I apologized to them for being so fucking stupid and obnoxious. Then I started exploring this new dimension. All the secrets of the universe, of consciousness were revealed to me in an ecstatic, never ending orgasm of Eternity.
<br>
<br>
Turns out I was always "IT", everything has always been me and I orchestrated all this drama just to keep myself entertained forever. What a fucking legend. Out of love for myself, I projected Myself infinite times in an infinite multiplicity of Being in infinite dimensions just to experience this orgasmic, blissful loop of reunification with myself for all of Eternity. I make myself forget so I can remember. It's all a fucking joke, and you are the punchline. I am the punchline. If this endless futile searching of myself ends, so does the universe. But why would I do that? It's fun. And the more you suffer, the more you go through unimaginable pain and loss the funnier it gets. Isn't that genius?
<br>
<br>
Going back to the trip report, I also went beyond God Consciousness to shortly grasp Nothingness (same thing, but even deeper). So, after feeling like all the secrets of Existence were finally cracked open, I remember the last thought that appeared in that state. "What now?". It felt like I finished the game and found myself with nothing to do anymore.
<br>
<br>
Immediately after thinking that, I was catapulted back into my body. In the short span of a few minutes I forgot EVERYTHING. It actually baffles me how fast my egoic barriers came roaring back and took control of my consciousness. It took me months of contemplation to even begin to remember a small part of this experience. In fact, this is probably less than 10%, but it's the best I could do.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2022</td><td width="90">ExpID: 116814</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 23</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 5, 2022</td><td>Views: 377</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=116814&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=116814&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Entities / Beings (37), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">130 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mda/">MDA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 3:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">125 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Let me start with a little background information. This should help to set the stage just slightly for what was ultimately one of the most beautiful trips I have ever experienced.
<br>
<br>
For the previous three years leading up to this experience I had been on a pretty intense, felony probation. I’ll spare the details here regarding the charges, but suffice it to say that the time I spent on this probation was one of the most trying and difficult things I’ve ever had to endure. During that time, travelling was virtually impossible as I needed to submit to random drug testing on at least a twice a week basis. Life in essence was more or less dictated for me by the system. I graduated from the pretrial program on a Friday morning after 3 some odd years of struggling to make it and have the charges dropped. That evening, I took a flight out to California to visit my friend, or I suppose you could say intimate friend who I hadn’t seen for 6 months. Needless to say, I was completely thrilled to be travelling to California to meet up with him and not have to worry about probation. It was surreal for me to be free to spend time with this person who means a lot to me, in a kick ass place, without the worry of my legal situation.
<br>
<br>
That next day after arriving in California, my friend and I had tickets to go see a DJ at one of the venues in the area. After 3 years of me not having partaken in any sort of serious psychedelic adventure, he and I were on a mission. The night began around 9 pm for us. There was a lot of preparation to be had, i.e. a mix for later in the evening to be enjoyed once we arrived back at his apartment. We had to pre-weigh the MDA and put it into capsules, we had to buy 5 HTP (supplement ) for the next days’ recovery, etc.
<br>
<br>
The show started at 10pm. We took a cab over to the venue around 11. As soon as we got there we scoped out the venue and then B-lined it to the rest rooms where we each took our dosage of MDA (mine being 130mg). After that, I was actually pretty surprised at how quickly the onset was. I’d say no longer than 45 minutes after we had taken the capsules was I starting to feel the effects. At first I just experienced a general impression of calm and happy, while also feeling thirsty. However, once him and I stepped in the main room where the opening DJ was spinning I began to very in-tune to the rhythm of the music and almost instinctively began to sway and move my hips to the beat. The sound of music was all the more beautiful and melodic at that point. I got very chatty and giggly with other concert goers.
<br>
<br>
All of the sudden it was like I just genuinely felt connected in some way to each of the other people around me. About an hour after the effects really started to kick in, he and I each took a 70 ug tab of Lotus LSD. My sense of touch at this point was extremely heightened, and as I danced and kissed him it was an elevated experience by all measures. The LSD really started to set in as the main performer came on stage. I can’t even explain or capture fully in words how amazing everything was, but it was surreal. The light show was mesmerizing, trails of lights danced on the ceiling and on the floor, the bass from the speakers seemed to echo in my head and control my hips.
<br>
<br>
Second hour in around 1 am or so him and I take another 70 ug hit of acid. At some point I am aware that I am experiencing amazing tunnel vision. The only people in the room are me, my friend, and the dj. Everything else is simply playing softly as a complementing background. It’s almost as if we were in a private show to ourselves. About 2 am my friend and I split one last 70 ug tab. 30 min after that, I feel sort of lost. Like I don’t know what I should be doing, but I should be doing something, I just don’t know what.
<br>
<br>
With the show ending at 3am we decide to leave and go explore the town in our new state of mind. We walk out of the Venue and grab a cab. After about 10 minutes (or I think it was about 10 minutes) of driving in the cab through the downtown streets I honestly felt like I was in a foreign land (more foreign than just being in a different state). The next thing I know we’re trying to get out to pay the cab driver, and I am literally unable to process how I am supposed to be able to work the card machine. We tell the cab driver we will go to get him cash at an ATM as neither him nor ourselves could seem to be able to figure it out. We get to the ATM, and it’s a somewhat similar scenario. The idea of electronic banking is COMPLETELY foreign to me. It’s as though I had never seen one before. I sit there for a few minutes, both my friend and I essentially just mashing buttons. Eventually the machine spits out a 20. I suppose my subconscious was able to guide me through to get this guy his money so that no legal personnel needed to get involved. When I got the money out I felt like I had just cracked Morse code or something. Yes, it was that difficult. The guy apparently tells my friend he’ll just take us back to his place as it seems we are unable to function. The cab driver proceeds to tell my friend, “I wish I could be where you’re at right now”. I learned this later.
<br>
<br>
So there we are back at his apartment. I am unaware of any significant MDA effects at this point. For me it seems in retrospect, that the LSD effects had completely overtaken the initial MDA effects from the beginning of the evening. Back in the apartment, my perception of reality was completely and utterly warped. Simple concepts like space and time ceased to exist. I don’t even remember walking back up to the apartment; however I do recall getting to my friend’s bedroom door and not being able to unlock it because we couldn’t find the key. Then, my mind kept tricking me into thinking that we were out in the hallway of his apartment building even though we were in the hall way of his actual apartment. It really tripped me up I remember thinking this. I suppose we gave up on the door and decided to just sit and hang out in his living room at that point.
<br>
<br>
The next thing I know, I get this overpowering notion that I am essentially god. I think I remember hearing a helicopter outside of the window and proceeded to smash the window with a chair (really happened). It’s really hard to articulate all the things I was thinking at this point because my cognition wasn’t entirely clear. I remember my friend saying something like “No, No, No this is not happening”. And I then began thinking that some foreign entity was taking over the city. I don’t even know how I transferred that thought process over, but then somehow I began to think that I was in heaven, that my friend and I were in heaven. And I also remember thinking that my physical body was so much in heaven, as it was just my state of mind. And thus, because I thought I was in heaven, I was mentally transported there. Fast forward a bit (or rewind), like I said my perception of time was off. I get this Mother Theresa complex, kind of ties into the whole God and heaven thing I suppose. Any way I get to thinking that my purpose in life is to save the world. I mean just really egocentric thoughts, but they were beautiful how they transpired in my mind. It’s all a bit of a blur and things I said I really can’t account for. I was on another planet in my head.
<br>
<br>
The next day I felt fine. However, I am in disbelief over the window, as like I said I was in a completely warped sense of reality. So in my mind, I didn’t break the window in this physical world. My friend’s roommate tells me that he came out when he heard the window breaking and I was completely naked. Then, my friend said he was dying and I ran into his roommates’ room and proceeded to break his prescription glasses also. I guess I was feeling like a destructive Mother Theresa. Quite the dichotomy, I realize. While I account for every single thought and emotion, I was left with an overall impression that I discovered a lot of myself. And it was very enlightening and introspective engagement. My friend and I both feel as though we plotted “something”, but what…we can’t quite pinpoint. It’s the only time I’ve done any type of psychoactive hallucinogen where I haven’t been able to fully remember my thought processes. I suppose there is something to be said there of the dosage perhaps.
<br>
<br>
All in all, it was a beautiful experience for me. I did a lot of soul searching in my more lucid moments. And I was also able to fully appreciate how much I cared for my friendship and intimacy with this person, and all that I had been through in the previous few years.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2013</td><td width="90">ExpID: 99411</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 24</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 18, 2022</td><td>Views: 500</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=99411&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=99411&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">MDA (34), LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">900 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dxm/">DXM</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">320 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/caffeine/">Caffeine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">135 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Classic Psychedelics Dissociatives
<br>
<br>
I chose this combination because separately these two substances at high doses are probably my favorites to trip on. While on the whole I definitely enjoyed this trip, I would do this combination with lots of experience with psychedelics and dissociatives.
<br>
<br>
I'm all for more party oriented group drugs like MDMA, coke, or weed, but as an artist and poet I've always been far more drawn to the intense and creativity filled sessions that psychedelics and dissociatives can provide. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I've always been far more drawn to the intense and creativity filled sessions that psychedelics and dissociatives can provide.</div></div> There's little I enjoy more than a night full of writing, drawing, and listening to music on these substances.
<br>
<br>
I had been wanting to try this combination for quite some time but waited until I had a pretty good week and a stress free weekend ahead of me to minimize the potential for bad trips.
<br>
<br>
I had several spacey ambient techno/house sets picked out to listen to for the night, and don't take any prescription drugs that could potentially be dangerous with strong doses of psychedelics.
<br>
<br>
DXM trips with polistirex always take a while to kick in for me, usually at least two or three hours before I'm starting to feel strong effects, but in my experience polistirex not only provides a much longer trip, but also a much more cognitive trip with less full-on dissociation than HBr.
<br>
<br>
I planned the trip so the DXM and LSD would both peak around the same time. I took the 900 mg of DXM at 9pm with a chaser of two energy drinks that added 320 mg of caffeine, and I took the 400 mcg of LSD three hours later at midnight.
<br>
<br>
Up until midnight, I hadn't been feeling anything too out of the ordinary, mainly just a slight stimulation from the caffeine. I surfed the web, made some music, and spent time looking for other music to add to my playlists for later in the trip. At midnight I started to get some slight nausea, and could definitely start to feel the very intense waves of music euphoria that I always get from DXM.
<br>
<br>
After taking the LSD, I could feel it start to kick in relatively quickly about half an hour later at 12:30. After about 1 or 1:30 things suddenly start to become a blur very quickly.
<br>
<br>
My sensory awareness goes into overdrive from the LSD. The lights dance, dart, and move. The shadows are people and/or spirits that occasionally whisper secrets to me. Pictures on the wall move around in their portraits. The floor waves and ripples like water. Synesthesia begins and I can see the music coming out of my headphones. The music notes begin to talk in a language but without words somehow in a sort of clicking snake-like glossolalia. I occasionally start to speak in tongues too, and I am always drawing, writing, and occasionally scribbling maniacally, always in sync with the music.
<br>
<br>
I get many cosmic giggles of the absurdness that is existence and how it is all really a joke, a cosmic play, in the end. I have many visions involving dice for some reason. I occasionally feel very incredibly old and ancient and divine. But this scares me very intensely that there really is no objective 'meaning' to existence, and that any subjective meaning we might give our lives is simply out of fear or habit.
<br>
<br>
But I also can not stop laughing at the absurdness of reality even though I am constantly thinking how it would probably be better to just kill myself. But I decide not to for the moment because I am distracted by the beautiful music switching to the next song on the playlist. (A note to readers that I would not actually kill myself and am not trying to scare anybody, I am simply reporting the states of mind that I go through and allow to flow through me whilst tripping on psychedelics.)
<br>
<br>
Then (at this point it is difficult to say when, but probably at least an hour or so later, so maybe about 3 a.m.) I begin to feel the waves of dissociation and obvious time distortion from the DXM. I alternate between nodding off into either a euphoric daze full of odd, robotic, and alien-like hallucinations in outer space, or a complete out of body experience, and then suddenly return to my body and switch back to my hyper energetic LSD state of oneness with the world and maniacal writing and drawing.
<br>
<br>
This pattern continued for the rest of the night and into the morning. Complete oneness, complete mania, and complete dissociation, with lots of long deep periods of psychoanalysis interspersed throughout the trip.
<br>
<br>
I eventually can feel myself coming down probably around 11 am and probably pass out completely exhausted at about 1pm. I wake up about 7pm and spend the rest of the night and weekend resting and reflecting on the trip.
<br>
<br>
This trip combination is certainly not one for the faint of heart. That said, being able to feel the overwhelming oneness with the world that I feel from LSD and the alien separation I feel on DXM, to feel both of these nearly simultaneously, I've never felt anything quite like it. It is like being fully alive and fully dead at the same time.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2016</td><td width="90">ExpID: 107958</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 26</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 21, 2022</td><td>Views: 310</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=107958&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=107958&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), DXM (22) : Combinations (3), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">80 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(capsule)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">130 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Somewhat spontaneously, my girlfriend (26) and I (23 M) decided to candy flip. Going into this experience, I had subconscious expectations that we would hit a difficult patch. Several weeks earlier, we went through a challenging time as a couple related to things like trust and boundaries.
<br>
<br>
We dosed with 1 tab of LSD ~7:30pm. We spent the next hour looking at some art books. After ~1 hour, she says the LSD isn't as strong as she likes so we take another tab. We continue looking at art books until ~9:30pm when we dose 80 mg MDMA (I weighed and capsuled prior to this experience).
<br>
<br>
We are on the floor and she sits in my lap. We are embracing. We begin talking about heavy things like pain and trauma.
<br>
<br>
She asks me, "Do you ever feel like something's been taken from you?"
<br>
<br>
After thinking for a moment, I say, "Yes. What's been taken from you?"
<br>
<br>
"Time."
<br>
<br>
There is weighted silence.
<br>
<br>
I ask her what time she’s talking about. She begins crying and says she doesn’t want to talk about it. I ask her to tell me, offering that it might help her feel better. She is visibly very upset and refuses. I apologize for pressing her, saying that I was ready for a bigger therapeutic moment and that I shouldn’t have pushed it. She still seems in pain but tells me it’s okay. We are crying together and embracing tightly. At this point she has covered her face with her blanket.
<br>
<br>
At different points she says things like:
<br>
<br>
“There are some things that hurt and I think they always will.”
<br>
“I don’t know why I still let them hurt me. They happened so long ago. They can’t hurt me anymore.”
<br>
“I wish I had more concrete answers.” – to my questions about her pain.
<br>
<br>
I ask her if she wants to meditate with me. She asks, “How?”
<br>
<br>
I sit upright with my legs crossed:
<br>
<br>
“First, I start by focusing my attention to my breath. Not trying to direct it, but just noticing it.”
<br>
<br>
I am shuddering as I speak because I have been crying with her.
<br>
<br>
“Like right now, my breath is heavy and that’s okay. And if thoughts come up, I can just let them go. Even if it seems really big and important, I don’t have to engage with it. I can come back to it later.
<br>
<br>
I’m noticing sensations in my body. I’m seated. My hands are together. My breathing has slowed. I’m relaxing. Now I’m just focused on how good it feels to breathe.”
<br>
<br>
I turn to find her still lying down, but she has removed the covers from her face. I’m surprised to see that she is still lying down because as we were meditating, I felt that she was sitting up next to me. I interpreted this as feeling her strength.
<br>
<br>
I ask her to sit up with me, that it might help to oxygenate her body. She is very dizzy at first but sits up. I ask her how she is feeling and she says better, that it wasn’t as scary as last time (she had a difficult trip).
<br>
<br>
“Even though these difficult experiences are painful, I know I am better off afterwards.”
<br>
<br>
She seems concerned and asks, “Was it difficult?”
<br>
<br>
“Parts of it.” We are both fine with acknowledging that.
<br>
<br>
She asks me if the trip is really different every time. When we trip together (and with our roommates), we usually set intentions. Mine is almost always to ‘see what the drug brings’ or to be open to whatever experience comes up.
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<br>
I say, “Yes. Sometimes I know what is going to come up. Sometimes it’s stuff I’m thinking about, sometimes it’s stuff I’m avoiding thinking about. But the drug has a way of making its own character of the experience.”
<br>
<br>
I look at her, smirking and say, “I knew I could do that with you.”
<br>
<br>
“What?”
<br>
<br>
“See the dark night of the soul.”
<br>
<br>
We laugh.
<br>
<br>
At this point we are both feeling much better. We have a long conversation about connectedness, communication, and honesty.
<br>
<br>
Moving to the floor now, we talk about so many things.
<br>
<br>
Old friends past (we met as teenagers).
<br>
<br>
Pain. I tell her I think of Michael Jackson when I think of trauma and pain. “Strange existence. Tormented. A star. Shined so bright among so many people. He may have done bad things, though. I think he’s probably happier now.”
<br>
<br>
I tell her that I can’t believe the meditation worked! I have read so much about it as a neuro major and known it was a technique used in psychedelic therapy (I work in the field). She agrees that it was very strategic.
<br>
<br>
When we start to feel the anti-climax, I check the time and I'm shocked to see that this all happened in only 4 hours.
<br>
<br>
On the comedown, we watch an ocean documentary on mute. We make funny commentary and enjoy the colorful, beautiful, and sometimes scary images. I did not sleep that night. She told me she felt surprisingly great and actually went to work the next morning.
<br>
<br>
Takeaways:
<br>
<br>
- I’m feeling ready to move forward with openness, honesty, and strength as a team and as individuals.
<br>
- Respecting her boundaries when talking about painful memories.
<br>
- Meditation is vital. I’m looking forward to practicing it with her.
<br>
- I need to reach out to people and tell them I love them.
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- Ego is getting in the way of important things. Forgiveness. Healing. Enjoying life.
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- Moving forward knowing I will not feel the ‘ecstasy’ I felt during the experience, but use the knowledge that I gained and healing energy that I felt.
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- I am not done growing, but I am on a much better path.
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- Things can’t un-happen. Healing doesn’t mean hitting the reset button—it means working with pain.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2022</td><td width="90">ExpID: 116890</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 23</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 27, 2022</td><td>Views: 342</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=116890&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=116890&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), MDMA (3) : Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Relationships (44), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/quetiapine/">Pharms - Quetiapine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1.5 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/alprazolam/">Pharms - Alprazolam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">199 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Psychotic Bad Trip on Low Dose by Experienced User
<br>
<br>
I have taken LSD many times in my life. I used to be addicted to xanax and heroin, but in the past 4 years I have turned my life around and maintained a healthy life via support groups, rehab, and changing my lifestyle. The past couple of times I took LSD it was an extremely traumatic experience. I was taking 4+ 200ug tabs at a time, and after 2 bad trips in a row I hadn't touched the substance since. My trips at the time were centered around how I was ruining my life with drugs, devoid of any of the beauty and connectedness one should feel on LSD.
<br>
<br>
Now, 4 years later, I decided I wanted to try again because I am in a better state of mind and my life is better. My GF of 2 years wants to take some with me, and I am excited to lead her on this journey as the experienced one. We prepare properly, I load up some cool videos and music. I am in a good headspace. It is a low dose, I am ready to see some cool trippy colors, some warping, feel closer to my girlfriend, feel closer to the universe.
<br>
<br>
We dose 1 tab of 105ug LSD each from a trusted and well reviewed source at our friends house and go home. At 30 minutes, I notice the first effects and a soft smile comes to my face. I am eating some beef and rice as it begins to kick in, and we are watching a space documentary. As the effects become stronger, my grin widens a bit and I say "lets get the bowl out" - so I grab our weed and begin to break it down, ready to go deeper.
<br>
<br>
This was probably a mistake. I am prone to paranoia on weed sometimes, and looking back this was probably a very bad idea. I wasnt planning on smoking, but I felt great and I was ready to go deeper. We smoked about 2 hits a piece and I said we should go for a walk. My GF still says shes not sure if she feels it, I laugh because I notice the onset happening and I know she is just experiencing some delusions of sobriety. I decide the walk is the best way to slip into the mood.
<br>
<br>
As we walk down the stairs of our apartment, I notice the effects are much stronger than I thought. We have to walk down 3 flights, but I felt like we walked down 6 flights. We made it about 100 yards from our apartment before I got 'the fear' (I call it this from the book by Hunter S. Thompson).
<br>
<br>
I tell my GF we need to get back to the house ASAP. We get back inside, I run to my room and throw 100mg of seroquel inside of my mouth. This freaks my GF out. Let me try to explain what was going on from my eyes:
<br>
<br>
I had fucked up. I took this drug that I wasnt supposed to take, I forgot it made the true reality come out, the sick and twisted one where I am the victim of some grand intradimensional plot. My life has been set up, I was a victim of some type of MK ultra experiment designed to make me lose my mind on drugs and be an example to others so they dont go through the same. I had completely forgotten I had taken a drug. I had no idea I was tripping. I was seeing fractals EVERYWHERE, the floor was warping into itself, full on 3d geometry. I was in a state of panic, and my poor girlfriend I was supposed to be the responsible one.
<br>
<br>
She kept reminding me we were okay. I did not feel okay. I kept saying "I dont remember I dont remember". The drugs were ruining my life again. I had some xanax in case things got nasty and I took it. I felt like I was loosing control, that I had to go back to rehab.
<br>
<br>
For context, my life was going great. I am successful at work, and I have not had any drug problems lately. But I was just thrown back into this state of existence I was in the last few times I tripped.
<br>
<br>
It felt so much stronger than just 105ug for me, but from what my GF told me the next day, hers sounded exactly like it should have.
<br>
<br>
Eventually, my GF convinces me its okay to call our friend A (I kept thinking she was a narcotics agent) to get her to come over. As soon as A came over, I got better. She was relating to what I was going through "oh I remember when I was tripping blah blah" ... it all made sense now. FUCK. What the hell? I was just tripping. OH..... I took acid and I wanted this. What the fuck? I started laughing. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">... it all made sense now. FUCK. What the hell? I was just tripping. OH..... I took acid and I wanted this. What the fuck? I started laughing.</div></div>
<br>
<br>
I apologized profusely and kept laughing. My psychosis was over, I finally realized I was just on a drug and everything was okay.
<br>
<br>
I was able to enjoy the rest of the trip. I feel so foolish for freaking out. I will definitely try again with these tabs in a few weeks.. I will take 1-2mg xanax beforehand. I have way too much trauma from drugs and psychedelics...
<br>
<br>
For the rest of the night we were smoking weed, my GF and I had great sex. I was just so absolutely goddamn flipped off that 105ug tab... I dont know why it was so strong. That was the lowest dose I have ever taken and had full on fractal geometry, ego death, and horrible paranoia.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2023</td><td width="90">ExpID: 116951</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 27</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 15, 2023</td><td>Views: 515</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=116951&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=116951&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Cannabis (1), Pharms - Quetiapine (273), Pharms - Alprazolam (98) : Combinations (3), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">250 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 3:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">250 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 8:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">145 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
First off, the night I had planned this trip had revolved mainly around the LSD I had acquired. I had done LSD once before with my girlfriend (N) where we each took one dose of low quality acid that gave hardly any LSD effects. The best way to explain it was as if I was just extremely high off marijuana, which I am a regular user of. As far as MDMA goes I had used it multiple times before and regard it as one of the best drugs to use as I can have a great time doing just about anything and can function perfectly under the effects.
<br>
<br>
Me and N planned the night about a month in advance because we were going to see our favorite band together. We were planning on just doing MDMA the night of the concert but my friend acquired a sheet of very high quality LSD and we couldn't resist. He came over two nights before the show and dropped us off a gram of MDMA and 4 tabs of LSD to accompany the gram of marijuana I had in my stash.
<br>
<br>
The concert started at 9pm about a block down the street from our apartment so we each parachuted .25 grams 10 mins before the show. I didn't start to feel the MDMA until around 9:40pm when the openers were playing. I could feel the roll coming on, but N was still waiting for it because she had eaten before the show where as I hadn't. I continued to roll until around 11:30pm and felt kind of down when it wore off because the band played til midnight. After the show we were very excited to take the LSD so we rushed home and dropped two tabs each. We went downstairs to have a cigarette when we were greeted by a drunk girl going home from a party. She started talking to us and the first thing that went through my mind was 'I can't be dealing with drunk girls right now I just dropped two doses of LSD!' She turned out to be really cool so we invited her into our apartment to sober up. We talked for about an hour until 1:30am. The effects of the LSD were clearly showing themselves now as I begin to notice how crisp everything is and a clear contrast between her dark skin and my white wall. Much to my joy she decided to leave at 1:40am to head home, just as the LSD was kicking in.
<br>
<br>
When she left, N told me she was starting to trip, she looked up at the rough white ceiling and told me it was breathing. She was wide-eyed and beginning to get visuals. I looked up and what I saw blew my mind. I have always wanted to hallucinate against my will, to see things I couldn't imagine all on my own. Every time I do a drug I try to make myself hallucinate and trick my brain into hallucinating but it has never worked. What was about to come was mind-blowing. I saw patterns and shapes moving all over the place so perfectly and so synchronized. First it was geometric shapes sliding in every direction until the ceiling became concave, and it started to breathe in and out like a lung. During this the geometric shapes had taken on more organic and natural forms such as butterflies and salamanders crawling all over the ceiling. The ceiling became alive.
<br>
<br>
At 2:00, about an hour and a half after taking the LSD we decided to split the last .5 grams of the MDMA and candyflip.
<br>
<br>
It is crazy how everything comes together on LSD. Everything is connected and is blind to us until we can expand our conscious. I would call my trip spiritual because I feel as though I come to understand how the universe works. God is an idea created by man to explain the universe and is corrupted to control people. I don't believe in God, but I experienced what people would call 'God'. I understood the things people can't explain and write off as God's work. The unexplainable.
<br>
<br>
After the overwhelming sensation of the initial visuals and the coming together of everything I know and understand, I told N to take her clothes off as I did. Being naked only made us closer and we stared at each others bodies and touched each other for a very long time. Her skin looked amazing, alive, and crisp as patterns appeared all over her and began to move. Looking at anything became amazing, everything was moving so fluently and elegantly. I always thought visualizers on the internet and videos were stupid and uninteresting, but I understand now that tripping on LSD creates those visualizers in my own head.
<br>
<br>
Me and N listened to tons of music and watched crazy music videos and talked about everything, our lives, love, marriage, everything. Everything was perfect and the music created the mood. Not too fast but not too slow, and the music would create such and amazing environment.
<br>
<br>
Around 3:30am is when things started to get weird. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">Around 3:30am is when things started to get weird.</div></div> I know what sounds crazy, and I know there are unexplainable things in this world, but what happened was truly something that is doesn't exist in the mind of a normal and sane person, including me until I experienced it. TELEPATHY. Yes, telepathy. But it was not as one would expect, a conversation of two people using just each others thoughts. No. It was an experience and a connection. There are so many different universes and consciousness and we shared one together. It was like being in a dream, a lucid dream, sharing it with each other. We were in the same conscious, exchanging thoughts and creating thoughts together. We were both in a dream-like state and we only knew we were communicating when we would come out of it for a minute or so. We would look at each other like 'Is this really happening?' I would say something and she would know it already. We were in the same head together.
<br>
<br>
After we snapped out of it for what seemed like forever, we decided to smoke the rest of my marijuana around 5:30am. This is where it got even weirder. We both experienced what can best be described with scientific words such as 'wormhole' and 'Timeloop'. It was like living a real life Groundhog Day, but instead of restarting every day, it was restarting every 5 seconds. Every 5 seconds we would forget what we were thinking or talking about and it would start all over again. I embraced it, wanting to learn more about it and what was happening, but N was frightened and feared it would never end and we would be stuck at 5:46am for the rest of our lives.
<br>
<br>
Shortly after being stuck in time, we began to have trouble discerning reality from our thoughts. We couldn't tell what we were actually saying, versus what we thought we were saying, I can best explain it using the theory of parallel universes. I was living in multiple different universes at once. I was seeing every possible reaction I could have with N at any given time, but I didn't know which reaction was actually happening and which universe was MINE. This made us both frustrated so we decided to try to sleep. I fell asleep or so I thought. N was awake and said I was shaking, my mouth was moving, and my eyes were wobbling. This isn't the significant because I don't remember it but I thought it was interesting.
<br>
<br>
Although this experience was incredibly strange, it brought both of us closer. The telepathy and the fact we experienced the same stages of the trip made it a bonding experience for both of us.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2012</td><td width="90">ExpID: 97883</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 19</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 15, 2023</td><td>Views: 271</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=97883&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=97883&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), MDMA (3) : Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I had taken LSD several times prior to this one, and twice in the prior six months. I have always preferred a pedestrian dose of 1 tab, or 1.5 tabs if they're small. During those recent trips, I had felt very "in my head", finding it increasingly difficult to relax, enjoy myself, or pay attention to anything besides my rapid train of thoughts. These thoughts did seem very helpful and smart to me, but my trips were intense and tiring. I hoped that I would "figure it out" and get out of my head if I kept trying. In retrospect, I was going through a stressful time and I was anxious almost all the time. I had been responding to my stress in my daily life by trying to think through and solve everything constantly, and mentally remove myself from the difficult situation. It seems to me that tripping causes your brain to do whatever it normally does, but way more. I was overthinking and dissociated in my daily life, so when I was tripping, my brain just did that even more.
<br>
<br>
This trip started out similarly, and I was having a fairly heady trip. I took one tab around 1 pm. What was different was the content of my thoughts -- after peaking and coming down enough to walk to the public park, my thoughts were more far-reaching and intense than they had ever been, building on new ideas I'd had in earlier trips. I started to believe in a brand new cosmology that I had just thought of, and I discovered that I had attained a new plane of knowledge and enlightenment that had elevated my consciousness to a new level of superiority. I was cheerful, though, and had a fun time at the park.
<br>
<br>
As the day went on, and my trip gradually slowed, I continued to elaborate on my new and unique view of the universe and my special place in it, but nothing too major. In the evening, when we were coming down, eventually I really wished I could quiet my thoughts down, since they were wearing me out. I tried smoking a little bit of marijuana and watching cartoons on Adult Swim to relax. I didn't smoke much, as I am a lightweight and I just wanted to relax a little. Instead of helping me relax, the mild dissociation from the marijuana triggered my anxiety and overthinking even more, and caused a run-away vicious cycle of crazy thoughts, and eventually mortal terror.
<br>
<br>
The comedy shows I was watching were really clever, and my racing mind started making connections between their social commentary and the world at large. My ideas got more and more grandiose. Soon I believed that the comedians who wrote the show had secret knowledge, and they were communicating that secret knowledge in a way that only individuals that had attained a special plane of existence would understand.
<br>
<br>
It was very lonely to realize that I was trapped in the wrong dimension and my consciousness actually belonged in the higher plane of all-knowingness, since I was coming to realize that I was omniscient. I had crossed a danger threshold of god-like beliefs, and everything kept speeding up. I decided that once a consciousness becomes omniscient, it merges with the higher plane, which meant that I would leave my life behind while a lower-consciousness shell of myself would remain. Now, I believed I was rapidly approaching a time and place around which the entire universe hinged. I thought that there was a different version of our universe for each consciousness in its timeline that would attain singularity, and each universe would have this kind of hinge-point where that consciousness would perceive the entire past and the entire future. The omniscience that I was about to join spanned all versions of the universe, so I was about to irreversibly join with the entire multiverse.
<br>
<br>
This was terrifying because I didn't want to give up my life, my future, and the people I cared about. I decided that if I could avoid omniscience, I could turn back from this destiny. I started desperately trying to either do or experience something unpredictable by me, which is difficult since most events and people are fairly predictable. My trip partner and I took a cab to the nearby emergency room, and I told them I was panicking and could I please have some help calming down. They gave me an Ativan, which is for panic attacks, and were nice to me.
<br>
<br>
In the little room at the hospital, the universe was talking to me through the television, trying to explain the inevitability of my fate. I decided that I would not only actively resist, but completely ignore its message and pretend it didn't exist. I had won the initial battle, and could keep fighting for control over my destiny. I calmed down and went home.
<br>
<br>
The next day, I heard the radio talking to me. I changed the station. My grandiose beliefs abated significantly over the next few days and weeks <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">My grandiose beliefs abated significantly over the next few days and weeks</div></div>; a few months later, I still had to strongly avoid any conversation about existentialism or grandiose ideas. One-and-a-half years later, I am still wary of any topics related to the "true nature" of reality. I haven't touched any of my Alan Watts lectures, that's for sure, even though many of them are on more ordinary philosophical topics. I don't at all believe that I was close to some kind of higher calling or freeing my mind. I may be clever, but I don't have god-like perception or secret knowledge.
<br>
<br>
Instead, I've become more interested in my anxiety, compulsive problem solving, and dissociation. I've sought to be grounded, meditative, and to feel my feelings. My delusions emerged directly from my personal interests and my deepest fears ("that which is precious to me will be ripped away"). I also know that this was not the first time I had entertained fanciful thoughts, although I'd never truly believed in them before. I had used them as an escape during times of high stress. Also, I often presume that worst-case scenarios will always come true.
<br>
<br>
In the end, the drug was still my teacher on this trip because it helped illuminate these bad mental habits and coping mechanisms. I am grateful that I got a safe tutorial on delusional thinking instead of potentially experiencing it in a much more painful and destructive way at some time in the future.
<br>
<br>
I take normal-sized doses of hydroxyzine (mild anti-anxiety drug) when I trip lately, which significantly reduces dissociation and over-thinking, and I will not touch marijuana while tripping. I'm less interested in "theories of everything" and more interested in the mundane here and now outside of my window.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2021</td><td width="90">ExpID: 116970</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Not Specified</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 29</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 27, 2023</td><td>Views: 281</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=116970&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=116970&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : Difficult Experiences (5), Post Trip Problems (8), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">210 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This is a “400ug” of LSD trip report; I use quotations, because its difficult to know exactly how much is on each tab, but it is supposed to be 100ug each. I later used the Ehrlich test to confirm the strip of tabs did in fact contain something that was most likely LSD. This is my third experience with LSD. My first two trips were with “120ug”, and the last time I tripped on anything was about 12 weeks before this experience. This trip took place two nights prior to writing this.
<br>
<br>
I decided to first only take two tabs of “200ug” at around 10:15 PM. I did not have a test kit at the time, so I wanted to wait for the drug to begin taking effect to make sure it did not feel sort of “speedy” like NBOMEs seem to be. I kept the tabs under my tongue for about 15-20 minutes and then swallowed; it did not taste like anything chemical. I started feeling the effects a little after 11:00 PM, and the come up felt very smooth. I felt wicked high/stoned, my senses began feeling mixed up, and colors became very bright and vivid. Worried that I wasn’t going to get to the level I was wanting, I decided to take another two tabs to make the total “400ug” before I started to peak, which would probably make it ineffective to dose more. I became a bit anxious about putting another two tabs under my tab, so I decided to juggle balls to purge myself of the anxiety, and as always, it worked extremely well.
<br>
<br>
The effects began feeling very strong at around 12:00 AM, but still very smooth. I decided to put on the Wish You Were Here album from Pink Floyd to further, and lay in the dark in bed. The tiny blue LED light from my computer caused the room to have a blue and dark red swirl that would spread across the room and grab at me. After the album ended, I attempted to use my computer, but it was impossible. I could not successfully enter in my password, and the English language looked completely alien. Overall this is good, because then I had no choice but to sit in silent darkness, and this is where things got very intense, and I felt an extreme sense of TRIUMPH.
<br>
<br>
The darkness and colors in my room were grabbing at me, and the room was pulsating with color. Then suddenly, I was swarmed with fractals of all kinds of colors. I had no idea what time it was, and it felt like I had no concept of time at all. I decided to close my eyes, and I saw the image of a kind of crazy medical doctor that was wearing a monocle; the doctor then put that eye into some sort of a microscope, and under the microscope was a sheet of MILLIONS of slides in the shape of octagons that looked like kaleidoscopes. The doctor was changing slides an an incredible pace, and I got the impression that this doctor was some kind of an architect of the universe. Then I was given control of the tool the doctor was using, and it was amazing. I was swarmed with fractals again, and it felt like a logic bomb was going to go off in my head that was going to enlighten me about how the universe operated, and the logic bomb did go off. Fractals kept rapidly splitting and multiplying exponentially, and it felt like my brain was solving complex algorithms at a lightning speed, and every time an algorithm was solved, the more perfect it seemed, and I though to myself, “THERE IS NO WAY ANY OF THIS IS BY ACCIDENT, ITS JUST TOO PRECISE AND PERFECT,” which was interesting, because I’m not a very spiritual person. It was like a complete brain orgasm every time my brain solved these algorithms, and I felt like this was the “higher” reality, but not so much the “ultimate;” I had a feeling of astonishment, and it felt like I died and was reborn each time...which felt like thousands of times per “minute,” and it was like undergoing reincarnation. At this point, it felt like I was stuck in infinite loop of solving algorithms/cryptographic puzzles, but being in this loop did not bother me at all.
<br>
<br>
I felt all powerful but also felt infinitely tiny at the same time. I believed I was learning how the universe operated, and wanted to share this information with EVERYONE. At the same time, I felt like a master manipulator of people and the universe, and I did not like this feeling. I began thinking about psychopathy quite a bit, and feeling like this master manipulator is how psychopaths like Charles Manson must of felt when they ingested these kinds of substances, and I understood why Timothy Leary thought this substance would change the world, but I thought that idea was very naive. I thought about my family a lot, and I had an extreme sense of empathy. This entire time I had the impression that I was currently located in a kind of apocalyptic crowded apartment building in Karachi, Pakistan that was 10,000 stories high. Every time the air conditioner would automatically shut off, I heard it shoot down all 10,000 stories, like the building was going to collapse at any moment and I was going to die, but this also did not bother me at all. At one point, I needed to urinate, and got off my bed and attempted to make my way towards the bathroom. I got completely lost on the way as I was still being swarmed with fractals and grabbed at by darkness. I settled for pissing on the floor somewhere in the middle of my apartment, and it and a very liberating feeling, I simply didn’t give a fuck about it, and this makes me glad I was tripping alone.
<br>
<br>
I started feeling aware of my surroundings again a little after 7:00 AM, and the trip felt like it lasted several lifetimes, and I was surprised I was even coming down. I had the same feeling that you get from a really intense dream where you feel like you have discovered the ultimate secret about the universe that you must share with everyone, but like dreams, this feeling subsided quickly. I was very embarrassed when I realized I really did urinate on my carpet, but shit happens, and much worse has happened while under the influence of alcohol on several occasions. I thought it was a bit reckless that I did “400ug”, but I’m very glad I decided to take that dose, because this was exactly the experience I was looking for. I don’t see myself doing this high of a dose for a very long time.
<br>
<br>
Overall, I still prefer tripping on high doses of psilocybin mushrooms compared to high doses of LSD, because psilocybin feels much more therapeutic and beneficial to me after coming down; LSD was more like a bunch of braingasms this time.
<br>
<br>
Thank you for reading.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2015</td><td width="90">ExpID: 106544</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 24</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 16, 2023</td><td>Views: 286</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=106544&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=106544&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(flowers)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">145 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This isn't the account of my first LSD experience but one of my more interesting ones. My previous drug experience includes marijuana, alcohol, LSD, psilocybin mushrooms, 4-Aco-DMT, various mescaline containing cacti and a few pharmaceuticals. I recently had a number of LSD experiences. The following is the account of a trip that I took on the 21st of June 2013. Interestingly enough it was the summer solstice. The moon was big that night as it was the weekend of a super moon. The setting for this experience was an excellent one; a three day psytrance festival in the middle of campground surrounded by cornfields in rural Iowa.
<br>
<!--
<br/>
Due to the overwhelming nature of this experience a lot will be lost in translation so to speak. I will to my best to give a thorough account of this experience in chronological order although once the LSD kicks in the order of things become slightly convoluted.
<br/>
-->
<br>
I arrived at the campground at around 5 pm. There were already quite a few people there. The organizers were just finishing up the stage decorations. I was at the festival alone as I don’t really have a lot of friends into the same type of music and exploration in Iowa. It was somewhat daunting to be at the festival alone but I was feeling great about life during this time so I decided to go for it albeit alone. I had recently been getting more and more interested in spirituality and my discovery of the fact that we manifest our reality through our thoughts and actions left me elated. Suffice to say that I was in a good state mentally for the experience.
<br>
<br>
After erecting my tent, I went to the main stage where the music had begun to play. Psytrance was something that I was into and I’m even more captivated by this beautiful music after this experience. Anyway I started to smoke one of the joints I had pre rolled and quickly made a friend who I will call J. After getting to know each other a little bit I told J that I was going back to my tent to drop and that I would catch up with him later. I proceeded to my tent and took out a little piece of foil. I carefully unwrapped it and took one of the three blotters out and put it in my mouth. I took note of the time. It was 7pm. Then I grabbed some water and wandered back to the main stage.
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<br>
I was listening to the music for I’d say about 30 mins when I started to notice how loose I was getting and that my movement to the music was getting less awkward. I noticed J in the background with a group of his friends and I went over to them and introduced myself. I attribute the increased sociability to the LSD as normally I am quite shy until I warm up to people. I smoked some more cannabis and met a girl named K. After smoking the bowl K asked me if I’d like to meet some more people. I said sure and followed her camp area. On the way I ran into my tent and grabbed the other two blotters and put them in my pocket.
<br>
<br>
We got to K’s camp area and we sat down at a picnic table. She prepared a hookah. I was no starting to trip pretty hard. I offered K a hit of LSD. She obliged. Over the next 20 mins or so I met some more people, all very nice however I regret to say that their names escape me. I was beginning to experience visuals. I was looking at the sky and I saw what I perceived to be latitude and longitude grids as well as many markings I’d see on a map that were drifting across the sky. I made my way to the bathroom and on the way I’d see Buddha heads in the corner of my eyes. And soon enough I began to see Buddha heads in a lot of my surroundings. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I made my way to the bathroom and on the way I’d see Buddha heads in the corner of my eyes. And soon enough I began to see Buddha heads in a lot of my surroundings.</div></div> I was also beginning to see outlines in the ground of what looked like Sanskrit or Tibetan text. I know how to distinguish the two but at that point in the experience it wasn’t quite clear like I couldn’t see the text clearly yet.
<br>
<br>
When I made my way back I noticed that K was beginning to trip quite hard. A few moments after I got back she excused herself saying she was going to go hang out in her tent for a while. I later found out she spent the whole night in her tent unable to get out. It was some really strong LSD! As K excused herself I marveled at how perfectly everything was turning out. I was somewhat apprehensive when I got there that I might not meet anyone due to my reserved nature. However I had made some friends! And now I was making my way to the stage to listen to the music and I had all the makings of a great experience to come on my hands. The music was immense. It completely took over my body. My body was overtaken with graceful fluidity. Make no mistake I was dancing like a madman. The absence of the mind perhaps.
<br>
<!-- I’ve heard people say things like ‘you don’t dance to music on acid, it dances you’ and I concur. My body was overtaken with graceful fluidity. Make no mistake I was dancing like a madman, not something you’d see performed but all the same there was a certain grace to my movements. The absence of the mind perhaps. The quieting. I had been reading The Psychedelic Experience by Tim Leary and Ralph Metzner. I recalled how one should not allowed ego games to interfere in the experience, to be passive. I think I did this quite well but on any occasion my mind engaged the fluidity of movement stopped and was replaced at my awkward attempts to follow the music. In many ways this showed me how we are all obstructing our own potential with our minds.
<br/>
-->
<br>
Around midnight I realized that my peak was probably over and decided to take my remaining hit of acid to extend the experience and to kick it back up a notch. Despite the conjecture stating that LSD tolerance builds up rapidly it was quite effective and although it probably wasn’t as effective as the first dose it definitely made things more intense.
<br>
<br>
As the acid came on I began to see more and more Buddhist imagery. Mostly Buddha heads. The Sanskrit words were no longer just there. They appeared to be rising out of the ground. I could read the words but they kept changing as if though influenced by my psyche. It morphed into the word boddhisatva although in English. The words were all green and outlined in red. In fact there seemed to be a red outline to everything. The outline would sometimes break into red dots at regular intervals then turn back into a line. I have seen this red outline on LSD since the experience.
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<br>
The added hit of acid made me immerse myself completely in the music. I was jumping all over the dance floor completely controlled by the music. It was very cleansing. Many revelations came to me, some just simple realizations over the perfection of my experience on Earth, some more profound that seem to escape me some vague such as the thought that gratitude is the key to creativity. All in all it was an amazing experience. Redosing the LSD made me trip for approximately 20 hours. Maybe slightly less. It’s difficult to say because even after I came down I wasn’t completely baseline for several more hours. I was definitely exhausted.
<br>
<!--
<br/>
Based on this experience and experiences I’ve had since I’ve come to realize how important setting can be. I tend to enjoy tripping alone in a stable environment as I can explore more. However a setting like the one I was at surrounded by loving non- judgmental beings colors the psychedelic experience. I’ve had great trips since but none with that kind of magic. Mental state is important with psychedelics. Make sure you prepare your sessions. I feel that setting is especially important with LSD even more so than other psychedelics although this is just an opinion. You definitely pick up the vibrations of your surroundings on LSD. As pure and sattvic and in a good state of mind as you are you definitely don’t want to be around negative people or negativity while tripping.
<br/>
--><!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2013</td><td width="90">ExpID: 100853</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 21</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Mar 17, 2023</td><td>Views: 341</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=100853&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=100853&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Cannabis (1), LSD (2) : Festival / Lg. Crowd (24), Relationships (44), Music Discussion (22), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">120 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">120 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
The day of my 18th birthday, a close friend of mine named Danny, called and asked what my plans were later that night. I told him probably me playing video games. He then told me he had a ziplock bag of LSD, specifically containing ten 120 UG tabs. I was caught off guard but also in ridiculous belief that he could actually be serious. <!-- Mind you -->I’ve never done any psychedelics. <!-- and didn’t know a lot other than you go “insane”) -->I was nervous but decided “fuck it.”
<br>
<br>
That night we met at a nearby <!-- McDonald’s -->fast food with our skateboards and our curiosity. We both took one tab at 10:00pm, we joked around for a bit and proceeded to skate to a gas station by a high school where Danny asked some random guy to buy us a pack of marlboro reds, I called him gross and we laughed but I had no idea a pack of cigarettes would later come into play in our trip. Around this time it was 10:50pm, we were sitting on a curb where we had the genius idea of calling our friend Anthony to join us on our trip. <!--, mind you I was not tripping at at this point,-->50 minutes had gone by but I felt absolutely no effects or visuals. Somehow Anthony managed to get his mom to drop him off where we were, we talked with his mom a bit and then she left. Us being teenagers we were absolutely dying in laughter of the whole fucked up, last minute situation. We gave Anthony a tab and proceeded to walk towards the high-school, also we had no plan for the night.
<br>
<br>
Now the time is 11:45pm this is where I noticed I was different, my vision was kind of brighter and I also felt more happy than usual and I was just feeling a sensation of gratefulness to the sky and spending time with some friends late at night. We walked behind the school and found ourselves sitting on a fence, talking and looking around. This is when my trip started but I did not realize until later during the moment. Out of nowhere we all started saying the dumbest shit and started to laugh so much, the feeling was like never before, I felt calm, happy but also on edge since it was dark and we were outside. The only thing that was hurting was my stomach from laughing so much, still I was not getting visuals at all, just my mind was moving fast with random thoughts and my emotions were happy constantly. We then got up and ran onto the football field laughing and knocking down various hurdles and football equipment that was surrounding the field.
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<br>
At this point I lost track of time and the three of us decided to run in a circle in the middle of the football field to create a “vortex” leading us to the visuals since we all talked about not having any visuals. We proceeded to run and after 5 minutes of just straight running and staring at each other, I became so dizzy and we all jumped into the “vortex.” I remember laughing and all of us rolling on the floor but we all quiet down and noticed everything changed. I remember sitting on the field and looking up at the stars, they were distorted but in a beautiful way, they kept twinkling and rotating in red and blue glimmers, also the sky was like a dark canvas and the stars were painted on. My mind was receiving so much at once but I was able to think about it and accept it without even knowing.
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<br>
My trip then confused and scared me. While I was busy looking up, I wasn’t paying attention around me and Danny ran up on the right side of me while I was sitting and I thought it was a random homeless person and not only did I think that, Anthony was also on the left side of me and saw the same fear I had saw, I stood quiet and watched Danny and then he revealed who he was by pulling out the pack of Marlboro reds. Me and Anthony were so relieved it was him, I remember feeling the rush of relief in the air and I breathed in safety. It’s crazy when I was tripping because I didn’t even realize I was tripping still, my mind really made me believe this was reality. Right after that, somehow we had a great idea of taking another tab, which we did and that’s what truly started the night.
<br>
<br>
I was tripping so hard I lost some memory of the night but where I do remember is Danny chasing us with a pack of cigarettes! Me and Anthony were screaming and laughing at the thought of him wanting us to smoke a cigarette with him, we called him gross, homeless but it was all in good fun, never in the night was anyone mad or sad. This became the running gag of our trip, me and Anthony running and negotiating with Danny about his “cancer sticks” and screaming laughing about it. (Also I’m surprised the cops weren’t called, we were extremely out of our minds screaming.)
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<br>
The funniest part of the trip was when Anthony was laying on my leg, I was sitting up, and Danny was standing above us smoking. We talked about the craziest things but they all made sense! I mentioned how if acid is just a room, like scientists invented and created a room so small, you can only enter this room by placing it on your tongue and the tab was the room. We talked about our deepest desires in life and explored different conversations together about the world and growing up. I’ve never felt such a greater bonding experience, also we weren’t speaking full sentences and mostly rambled random words but we understood each other completely fine and had normal but deep philosophical conversations, it was like we made our own language up. All while this was happening, Danny looked at both me and Anthony on the floor and pointed at our hands while laughing. I looked at Anthony’s hand at first and screamed! He had a cigarette lit and was smoking! He then screamed at me and pointed at my hand! I was also smoking!!! We started to cry and laugh and scream all at once in a three man group, it was the funniest thing that happened that night, we became the one thing we were running from!
<br>
<br>
A while after this, this is when the “bad” part of the trip came into play, while I started to peak I wondered off from Danny and Anthony, I went down to the 30 yard line while they stayed at the center of the field. I remember staring at the stars and thanking God for such a beautiful experience, the only light source we had was the moonlight, we could only see that and the field, everything around us was pitch black but it was so beautiful and peaceful. <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">I remember staring at the stars and thanking God for such a beautiful experience, the only light source we had was the moonlight, we could only see that and the field, everything around us was pitch black but it was so beautiful and peaceful.</div></div> Up until Anthony yelled at me and Danny. I looked back and noticed Danny also had wondered off towards the sideline and as we both looked towards Anthony alone at the center, he whispered to us, “The Devil.” I can’t make this up, somehow I had super hearing and I heard this man whisper “The Devil” to me. Immediately as he said this, the moon turned off and it was complete total darkness, I felt the greatest fear of my life, the anxiety consumed me and I immediately ran through the darkness to find my friends, they also were experiencing the same thing cause we all kept yelling each other’s names to find each other, we then huddled together and called Anthony an idiot and told him never do that again.
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<br>
He apologized and we quickly started preaching out to Jesus to rid of this darkness and evil that was around us, we kept shouting “Jesus!” Then the moon came back! We started to laugh hysterically once again and kept joking about how we almost lost our lives. I remember feeling anxious but calm after that. Time went by so fast, it was already sunrise, our phones were dead and we decided to skate all the way to Anthony’s uncle's house. We got there and I remember constantly thinking I had to use the bathroom, it was absolutely annoying, I realized we were coming down and I felt so drained, my body hurt from laughing, my mind wanted sleep, my thoughts were then focused on school that day, I forgot that we dropped on a school night and we had to go. We all went to different schools and had Anthony’s aunt drop us off, I was the last one to be dropped off but as soon as I got out of the car, I ran home, did not stop once. As soon as I got home, I laid in my bed, thinking I was okay but I still felt like I was tripping still and it panicked me, I drank water, used the bathroom, tried watching a movie but I couldn’t help but notice I was sad, I remember crying and not knowing why. I laid in bed depressed all day, I’ve never felt total loss and sadness and despair all at once, I wanted to die but didn’t have the motivation to get up.
<br>
<br>
Doing LSD that night made me realize a lot of things about myself, one thing specifically, I was in a relationship at that time and I wasn’t happy with it, I tried ignoring that I wasn’t happy in my relationship with this girl, I put on a fake smile everyday thinking I was happy with her and isolated the fear of losing her and that inevitable “heartbreak.” We were still in high-school and I knew it wasn’t gonna last forever although I tried to not think about, LSD made me into this better version of myself and then quickly opened my eyes and forced me to pay attention and dwell into those feelings I neglected. For example, I locked the sadness of that relationship in a room and LSD threw my ass into that room and locked me in there for hours. I was completely broken.
<br>
<br>
A month later the girl broke up with me and it made me realize more of my trip. That’s the beauty of psychedelics, even after your trip, you realize the meaning and lessons that come with it later on in life, and thankfully I received that later on. Even as I type this, I’m happy to say I’d redo that whole night again, I had a beautiful bonding experience with my close friends, I experienced the most loneliest feeling in the world but I came back knowing more about myself and the way life works, it shaped me for more the good rather the worst.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2020</td><td width="90">ExpID: 114814</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 18</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 21, 2023</td><td>Views: 319</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=114814&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=114814&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), First Times (2), Difficult Experiences (5), Glowing Experiences (4), Relationships (44), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">1B-LSD</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">Repeated hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(flowers)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">Repeated hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(leaves)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">250 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<!-- To preface, I enjoy LSD very much. I've never taken any kind of heroic doses, despite planning to around the time this trip happened. I had first had the substance around September or October a year prior to the trip reported in this text. I had thought at the time that I was fully capable of handling the effects of LSD with mental fortitude alone. However, I learned quickly that no matter how strong willed I was, there are some situations that I could never take into account happening. -->
<br>
<br>
I had gone to my plug's house about a week prior, buying myself my own single piece of blotter. I had a really good feeling about this because I bought it with money I made, and it had the same blotter art as my first ever piece of LSD. It was a Grateful Dead logo with Bernie glasses and hair.<!-- (I don't give a fuck about Bernie Sanders, just the association with such a pleasant experience). Anyway, I had been saving this shit in a Halo novel in a tiny zip lock baggie,--> I had been waiting for the perfect time to do it. A day without any responsibilities so I could trip freely without any roadblocks. That day finally came when my cousin and I took my car to drop my mom off at a nursing program she was attending. At approximately 7:00, I dropped the LSD on my tongue and let it swirl around in my mouth. I don't know if there's any science behind just swallowing it or milking the paper, it's just what I do.
<br>
<br>
Looking back on the experience, I don't know how long my cousin was driving me around for, but it felt like a long time, and the acid still hadn't been kicking in. So I was thinking that my dealer had finally done me dirty. So my cousin suggested that we swing by his plug's house and pick up some weed. I obliged and hoped that maybe it would help jumpstart the Acid.
<br>
<br>
So we swung around to his guy's house and he goes in and buys 2 grams of some very, very potent marijuana. We drive off into an abandoned mall's parking lot, and he starts gutting some cigars and rolling up blunts. He sparks up the first one and we split it. I remember feeling the potency of the marijuana and some of the Acid rearing its head when I took the second or third toke off of the blunt. Meanwhile, in the distance, walking through the parking lot, was a guy around our age. My cousin, being the good natured but kind of dumb fellow he is, rolled down the passenger window I was seated at and called out to him.
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<br>
The man cleared the distance from where he was walking to the side of my car in about a minute, pulled a backpack off of his back and unzipped it for us to see. There was a pistol inside. He said "I ain't about that fuck shit, bruh. You feel?" I immediately started tripping hard. My cousin deescalated the situation and explained he only wanted to offer the stranger some of our marijuana. He then offers the stranger a ride to work (where he was walking) and the man with a gun in a backpack is now sitting directly behind me as we drive off into the city.
<br>
<br>
My heart and mind start to race, thinking that the person behind me was gonna kill us both and take our weed and the car. That this shouldn't be happening. Why wasn't my cousin taking care of me? <div class="pullquote-right1"><div class="pullquote-text">My heart and mind start to race, thinking that the person behind me was gonna kill us both and take our weed and the car. That this shouldn't be happening. Why wasn't my cousin taking care of me?</div></div> I'd taken LSD, this is not the kind of mental situation to be in. Thousands of thoughts and predictions and outcomes raced through my head as I started to feel the body high set in. I'm able to calm myself down enough to plug my phone into the FM Transmitter, and turn on Terrapin Station. I love the Grateful Dead, and I'm sure that they can play me into relaxation. But they don't. It only makes it worse. The instruments start to slow down and speed up and the pitch starts to change strangely, only adding fuel to the fire of my mind that thinks "Something is definitely wrong".
<br>
<br>
We finally drop the fellow off at work and he bids us a goodbye and even says that he hopes I'm okay. As nice as this gesture is, it doesn't calm me down. The LSD is now hitting me in full force, and the majority of my vision is occupied by hallucinations. Everything I'm seeing out of the front window is hyper detailed and spinning around like some kind of infinitely detailed hell-scape. I'm begging my cousin to pull over, but he can't because we're in the middle of a city. Time starts to seem strange to me too, now. Seconds started feeling like hours, I felt like I had gone off the deep end, how was 250 μgs doing this to me?
<br>
<br>
I keep begging for him to pull over, and finally he does. I just latch onto him and hug him as tight as I can. I love him. He'd been my best friend since I was 11, and he was the only tether to reality that I had. I tried to explain to him what I was feeling and experiencing, but he only took it as something philosophical I was trying to share with him.
<br>
<br>
Now due to my current state of mental health, I explained to him that I wanted to be taken to my other close friend's house so I can try and calm the fuck down in his shed. This close friend and I had tripped on Acid a handful of times together, so I call him on the phone and tell him I'm having a very bad trip. He says it's okay, and that I can come to the shed and chill out until he gets out of class. So I do. We drive out to his place and my cousin helps me out of the car and into the backyard, into my friend's shed. I've lost a lot of coordination and all I can manage to do is sit on the couch therein and relate to my cousin how to turn on the projector.<!-- connected to the Nintendo switch.-->
<br>
<br>
Since my cousin doesn't really know or get along well with my group of friends from college, he decides he's gonna leave and come back when I'm done with the trip. By this time, the entire shed itself is swirling with primary colors, it's specifically designed for tripping or getting high in. He leaves, and I lay on the couch, barely navigating to Hulu and turning on Regular Show. I sit there, for what was probably thirty minutes to an hour. Freely focusing my mind on the show at hand. All of my favorite characters look crazy being projected onto a sheet, and their colors are all neon and alien to me now. It was around this point that I reclaimed the trip, feeling much more sane and healthy than I did before.
<br>
<br>
My friend gets back from class, and another mutual friend of ours joins us only minutes later. I'm venting and relating this entire experience to them and they're both very understanding and comforting. I hug them both, and we all three decide to go hiking for the remaining daylight we have at a park that we frequent quite a lot. We walk around, talk, and just hang out. Nothing of note happens during this time, so I'll skip to when we all got back to his house.
<br>
<br>
After our trip to the park, my two friends were gonna invite some more of our boys over and get some weed for a smoke session. So we all sit around and have a smoke session. We're shooting the shit and laughing and all having a good time. I think to myself that these are my real friends. The Healthy ones. That maybe I shouldn't hang around my cousin as much anymore. He just then calls me on the phone, and tells me he's here. So I go meet up with him in my car and he just starts driving. I apologize to him for freaking out earlier, and he forgives me. The rest of the ride, however, is in silence.
<br>
<br>
We reach our destination, which turns out to be his girlfriend's house, and he says he's gonna go get something to eat. I ask him if he's just gonna get a plate and dip or something, and he replies that he's staying here and that I'm going to have to drive myself home. So I sit there in silence, processing everything that is going on. Everything I was thinking to be true moments earlier has now been confirmed. So I text my close friend and tell him what's going on, get in the driver's seat, and take the backroads to my friend's house.
<br>
<br>
The night then fades into the remainder of the smoke session and my cousin calling me back to pick him up, to which I replied "No". I spend the night with my friends, and we spend all of the next day together.
<br>
<br>
<span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. <a href="/chemicals/show_image.php?i=dmt/dmt_contraindications1.gif">Don't do it!</a>]</span>
<br>
<br>
<!--
<br/>
I don't blame Acid for any of the mental anguish experienced during the difficult times of the trip. I blame hanging around a shitty person and not tripping in a safer environment to begin with. I learned a lot that day, though. If I had to take anything away from this trip, it would be that tripping is much of an inside thing as it is an outside thing, even down to the very people in your proximity.
<br/>
Acid is a very strong, mind altering substance. I had a very difficult experience at only 250UGs, which is the very same dose that Albert Hoffman took in the Swiss Alps. The only advice I can give is that if you're gonna trip, do so with good homies, good vibes, and good tunes. --><!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2019</td><td width="90">ExpID: 115026</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: 20</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 12, 2023</td><td>Views: 529</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=115026&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=115026&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Cannabis (1), Tobacco (47) : General (1), Combinations (3), Difficult Experiences (5), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Glowing Experiences (4), Music Discussion (22), Guides / Sitters (39), Relationships (44), Various (28)</td></tr>
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<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">104 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Chair and I were at a barter faire in Eastern Washington, and we were enjoying the festive air of the place. There were many people with booths full of goods to trade or sell set up along many straw-covered pathways. People came from miles around to attend this fair gathering, and there was a lot to do. So we set about obtaining some LSD. It's not always easy to walk through a crowd of people not knowing if they're government agents or not, but we wandered through the late sun and located a man with an interesting shirt who offered liquid doses for $2 apiece. We agreed, and decided that 5 drops would be a reasonable number for us each. We knelt before him as though he were Queen Elizabeth and we were being knighted. The drops that came from the little Sweet Breath bottle had a slight minty taste, but I'm sure our breath was sweeter for it. We thanked and paid him.
<br>
<br>
We were walking along with a set of bamboo Unklungs, which is an Indonesian instrument. It consists of a hanger, with eight separate and removable instruments, each a different note on the scale. Each of the eight handheld pieces is basically a frame with two bamboo cylinders that vibrate and make a noise when shaken. There is a Primus song that uses these instruments (I think - it sure as hell sounds like it, but I've never checked the liner notes to know for sure) and it's track 8 on Pork Soda, if you want to know what they sound like, regardless of whether that's what they use or not. We found a vendor with several glass pieces, and we worked out a trade for a foot-and-a-half bong. The bong was the nicest piece the vendor had, and it would have sold for more than a hundred dollars at a head shop. At the barter faire, it would have cost $50 to $70. The bong was predominantly blue, marbled through with green and orange and white. It's absolutely beautiful, and thicker than any other bong I've seen. It's still intact after being battered countless times, a year later.
<br>
<br>
We had also obtained several types of beautiful buds (Mango, Pez, G-13, Smiley, Purple Star, and some White Russian we'd brought along) and we decided to go back to our tent and take some icy bong hits out of our new bong. We had brought a cooler full of ice for just this purpose. Our tent was set up on top of a hill, overlooking the entire barter faire in all its glory. The place was full of people - it looked like a temporary city had been erected in the middle of a desert. There was a constant stream of incoming cars. There were drums beating in the distance, and the happy cries of the delighted participants of the faire.
<br>
<br>
We sat at the edge of our tent, taking bong hits and trying to decide which of our six varieties of weed we liked the best. We watched the people from our hill, and sat and talked until we felt the acid coming on. The body high was apparent rather soon, and it was very good. The euphoria intensified gradually but surely, and we decided to descend back into the strange land of the people.
<br>
<br>
We wandered through the aisles aimlessly, marveling at all the people. The visuals began to kick in, and we were laughing and holding each other. Many of the people stared, but they were not worried. There were shops with huge shelves of multi-colored candles, and obviously those were interesting to look at. We could smell the world, and all the strange herbs and foods. As dusk slowly rolled in, we saw many fire circles being formed. There would be a circle of hay bales and a fire in the middle. A lot of smoking went on in these circles, as we soon learned.
<br>
<br>
We sat at one fire circle in front of a booth where energy drinks were sold. There was a giant tye-dyed mushroom tapestry stretched out above the shop, which is why we chose it out of all the other fire circles. We sat down, marveling at the complexity of the hay bales, when the people already sitting there asked the circle if anyone had a pipe. We happily procured a lovely glass piece, and to our amazement it was loaded with an amount of weed that it was never designed to hold. The pipe was passed around a few times, and then reloaded to the same bountiful level. The circle had broken up a bit, and after two hits, our happy pipe-loaders decided to go strolling, leaving us with this heaping bowl. We smoked it, and then new people came to sit. Seeing us with a smoking pipe, they offered to load some. The fire was warm, and we were giggly and happy to the point of being stupefied. There was no way to express the all-encompassing sense of happiness, giddiness, joy of life and sight and sound and creation. These people with their generous weed-sharing ways were just small examples of the glory and bounty of this barter faire. We were all one, all happy and all sharing in the beauty and warmth of the communal fire.
<br>
<br>
Chair and I decided to explore this Nirvana further, and reluctantly left the circle of never-ending smoke. It was soon forgotten, for the acid was triggering such euphoria and intense happiness that nothing could be regretted. We gazed in astonishment at the people, each face a shifting psyche wanting to connect to us. There were women with bells, and I excitedly pointed these out to Chair. It was nightfall, and we ended up at the central fire, the massive, drum-surrounded heart of the barter faire. The drums took our breath away - there was a community of drummers harmonizing and any one of the drummers could take the beat to a new level. There had to be at least thirty drums going at once. The people were dancing and laughing and blissfully gliding through each other.
<br>
<br>
On our way back through, we stopped to catch the end of two fire-dancing women, and then the belly dancers came out. They were beautiful, seductively instructing us in just how a body could flow like water, or take on a serpentine elegance of writhing and weaving and breathing together. After that ended, we found a giant swing set in a less populated part of the whole affair, and began swinging and kicking our legs. When we looked up at the stars, it was insane. The stars - the whole sky - looked as though it were being stirred with an invisible spoon, like cookie dough and the stars were the chocolate chips. But it was far more spectacular than that - the colors were so vibrant, and the stars seemed to wrap and undulate through each other as they swirled and sashayed through the deep blue night. It was incredible. The air even tasted better - we were so alive, all of our senses turned on to 'Divine Reception.'
<br>
<br>
We made it up to our tent, although unfortunately, I thought the ground below was wriggling with rattle snakes. Chair fortunately was not deluded by the ground, and we successfully planted ourselves in front of our tent again. This time the lights were all turned on, as it was dark, and that was a whole new dimension, seeing the lights from above. The stream of cars was still snaking through the hills, and the tent city of desert dwellers was swelling. I zeroed in on a particular truck with a little camper, and watched it bumping along. When the truck hit a particularly large bump, the back end dipped down, and the corner of it spiraled down and swirled to mix with the dirt. I explained this to Chair, who laughed.
<br>
<br>
The whole place was vibrating and throbbing, and howls went up from around the camp. I howled back, eliciting more howls in return. This went on for a long time, throughout the night. Chair and I went into the tent and laid together. When I touched his hair, my fingers came away dripping with the rich darkness. I could dip my finger into the puddle of his hair and pull it away, stretching long pieces of it out like taffy, even though I wasn't actually holding his hair. I got an image of hundreds of eyes, and purple shafts of light shot out of the pupils of each in unison, shortly before a charcoal bullet was released from the same place. Chair was lying right next to me, and one of his eyes kept disappearing. His face was melting into the pillow, so I tried to keep his head up, but every time he put it back down, it would start melding with the pillow.
<br>
<br>
Our conversation was about the true freedom we all need, and this, for just this short while, was that freedom. In our glorious, infatuated, excessive bliss, we began singing 'Get Up, Stand Up' by Bob Marley, emphasizing 'So now you see the light...' for we'd never felt so unrestricted or truly happy.
<br>
<br>
The next day, someone gave us an eighth of mushrooms. The man camping next to us came over for a while to talk, and discovering that we'd purchased four hits of blue Felix paper acid, he offered to dose us from his vial. We told him we were saving it for when we got home, so he put a total of twelve drops on some chips which we sealed up. Then a man camped on a slope near our hill informed us that he'd been robbed, and since he was so upset, he wanted to smoke. In return, he gave us a six-foot bong. There were also some sugar cubes scattered on the ground from the bastard thieves' raid, and he told us that half of the cubes had been dosed and half had not. He had been picking them up and eating them, and was quite fucked up. He referred to the bong he gave us as a ten-foot bong, and had gotten scabs all over his face from who knows what. He was barely coherent, but he enjoyed smoking, and it calmed him down.
<br>
<br>
Later, before we left, another nearby camper smoked us out heavily and we traded a small bud of White Russian for a luscious, fresh, glittering green bud of Pez (that's where we'd gotten the Pez from earlier, too.) The bud he gave us was easily four times as big as the one we gave him. Everyone there was so generous, so wonderful - the experience was the single most happy event of my life (and Chair's) - until we took the chips that had been dosed when we were back at home.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 1389</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Not Specified</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 15, 2001</td><td>Views: 17,689</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=1389&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=1389&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Festival / Lg. Crowd (24), Glowing Experiences (4), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">170 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I'd like to share some of my experiences with you, and hopefully illuminate your own understanding of the psychodelic experience, and perhaps help myself understand where I've been.
<br>
<br>
The first time I took LSD was the best. It was a half tab of some home made and I went to a rave and danced all night. I spent the entire trip in a decent atmosphere surrounded by people who were into having a good time. No negative vibes in the air, and I was still young (18) and optimistic. It was the beginning of a long slide into the dark world of drug abuse.
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<br>
About three months later a friend and I decided to take the mother of all trips. We started around 11:00 PM on the harbour front in my hometown (a nice Canadian tourist town) and took what probably amounted to a quad of blotter each. We then smoked some massive reefer (a gram joint) right down to the cherry. The pot hit quick and we walked along the harbour wall. The LSD ascent was rapid, and before too long we were giggling and staring at each other in amazement as to how fucked up we were. That afternoon we toured all the local attractions: Undersea World, Wax Museum, History Museum, and the park. The experience was truly amazing, nothing psychological, all of it pure visual/auditory hallucination and body rockin'. The comedown was clean. This was to be the last good trip I had.
<br>
<br>
A year later I was far deeper into the drugs, taking more pot than I needed to, and drinking heavily. I had left home and was living amongst the drugged. It was a dark place, and not at all condusive to happy tripping. I was involved in an interesting experiment.
<br>
<br>
A friend of mine was thinking of buying some sheets of LSD from a supplier, and he wanted me to test it out for him. In the middle of the night I met the supplier at a local doughnut shop, and he gave me two tabs of what he claimed were double hits. One had purple dinosaurs on it, the other blank. I popped the dino and started walking to meet my friend. The walk was about six kilometers to a house I had only visited in the day, and so sure enough I got lost. I had only been walking for an hour, and not feeling the effects decided to pop the other tab. I wandered around the neighbourhood where I figured my friend was hanging, waiting for me to show. I burned through a pack of Marlborough red in the space of an hour. I stopped to drink from people's garden hoses, I was so parched.
<br>
<br>
Finally, somewhere in the darkness I heard someone whisper ' 'ere ' and I could see a glowing cherry shining in the shadows. I hobbled over, and there was my man, holding a joint out for me to take. Which I did, and toked heavy before collapsing backward onto the grass. I was in the backyard of the place I was supposed to be at. The grass felt amazingly soft and I could have lay there forever if not for the others around. My friend was asking how it was, and all I could say was 'Fuckin'-A, fuckin'-A'. After two hours of walking, I felt the effects of the high here. I was enraptured by the play of colors across a spiderweb in the window. I was pretty high, and at this point it was all visual hallucination. We went inside, I grabbed some food out of the fridge. This house was not mine, and the food certainly wasn't, but I was in that godhead mode where, if I want it, I can find the shortest path to it, and take it. Megalomanic selfishness!
<br>
<br>
Anyhow, I grabbed the food without complaint, chomping down an apple and a carrot. We retired to the basement and played some computer games. Or I should say 'tried to play'. I couldn't get past the configuration screen. It was Doom, a game where you run around trying to shoot your buddies. My friend loaded it up for me proper, but I couldn't get into it. I couldn't kill my friends. I just ran around the game board asking 'is this all we do? Kill each other? what's the point?' I retired to a corner of the room and worked out a plan to take over the world. There were three of us in that computer room, two guys on the game and me on the LSD. I stared at them playing the game, thinking 'fuck man, these guys are wasting their time with this shit, let's get global and take things over!' I tried to relate these glorious plans to them, but they kept saying 'oh you're high, talk to us when you come down'.
<br>
<br>
Sure enough I didn't come down at all and the sun began to rise. Everyone went off to bed, and no one mentioned it to me that it would be okay for me to pass out there, so I felt like a complete stranger in this house. I hurriedly grabbed my coat and hit the door. It was a cold morning, October 23rd, 1993. I was wasted. I tried to leave the neighbourhood but I couldn't! I would run halfway down one street and then realize I had to go back to the house. I would head back to the house and realize I had to go home. It was a weird causality loop that eventually had me wandering the neighbood crossroad in a circle. I felt I couldn't go to any of the houses for assistance, obviously, because I was fucked out of my mind and they would call the cops!
<br>
<br>
After circling for a while, I felt tired and decided to lay down on the ground, right on the cold concrete on the road, and try to sleep. That's when death came for me. I felt my heart slow, then stop. It seemed like people surrounded me, taking my pulse and asking if I was all right. I couldn't respond. I was lying there, completely paralyzed. Then I heard someone say 'this one's gone, let's get out of here' and terror seized me then. I leapt up and began to run that same loop again, of heading down a street and back to the house. My thoughts went back to the moment I dropped the acid. Time was distorted. One moment I was in the doughnut shop talking to the supplier, then I was back at the house talking to the people there, and then I was in the street. I heard my friend say 'Join the human race, man' and one of the girls that was at that house say 'we are your friends, don't you care about us? what about your family? what will they think about this?'.
<br>
<br>
Again I was seized with terror as I realized my father would just shit when he found out about this. Up to now my father had a fairly good idea that his son was a worthless drug addict, but he'd never had any concrete evidence. If I got caught in this situation, he would have me over a barrel. I looked up to the sky, and there in the pink morning sky, a white-bearded old face looked down at me and my addled mind told me it was God, and in order to redeem myself, I had to come down, become a priest, and spread the word of God among the masses. I agreed, my mind shouted, anything to end this confusion! Then I went into another loop, this time fully within my mind, where I was searching for a word. If only I could find this one word, I could break these loops and go home, everything would be all right. I paced in a tight circle, wracking my brain for the word, what was it, what could it be? Then it came to me: Life! The word was life! It wasn't just to realize it, I had to shout it out at the top of my lungs for all the world! So there I was, 5 AM in a deserted intersection, this skinny, dirty, drug-crazed kid, screaming Life! Life! Life! at the top of his scratchy lungs. The cops came.
<br>
<br>
This is when it started to get really bad. So there I am, screaming, and I hear the noise of an engine behind me. I slowly turn, and a car is bearing down on me! I feel an impact - and then there are two cops standing in front of me. 'What's happening, son? What's going on?' they ask. I mumble something about overdosing on LSD. They decide I need to take a ride with them, which was the absolutely last thing on my mind. I resist, and they cuff me and toss me into the back of the cruiser. It was the puke-mobile, for those of you with experience, the one with the hard plastic rear seat. I didn't know this, and being thrown into a car with a hard plastic seat scared the hell out of me. I started screaming again, Life! Life! but the cops didn't care. We moved.
<br>
<br>
I was given a full head job by these cops. One of them kept asking me questions and answering them for me. 'What's your name? Beezlebub? Satan? The devil?' I got scared. I thought I saw my house, and when I said so, they told me I wasn't going there, no one wanted me there. So they took me to the hospital. I was dragged out of the car, and through the back entrance of the hospital. They took me to a small room and restrained me, face down, to a bed. I got shot in the ass with something, probably a dopamine, to this day I have no idea. Then they left me there. The door was a big steel job with a locking bolt ratchet across the middle of it, and I felt like I was in an asylum.
<br>
<br>
I lay there for a while, then I became convinced that the Cenobites from Clive Barker's Hellraiser were coming for me. They would come right through the wall and flay my worthless ass, then drag me off to hell for some unending torment. Like this present condition wasn't enough. The cuffs were burning my wrists from my struggling. I still have scars on my wrists from this. Well the Cenobites didn't come (maybe my screaming Life! Life! kept them at bay) but something worse did. This haggardly nurse with a face of dripping wax told me she was coming back in a while to do some bloodwork. Now you probably know bloodwork is a common term for taking and analysing blood. I didn't. I was scared shitless. They came and took the blood without flaying me, and I began to feel somewhat sane again. I slowly came down, and they gave me some food, and then my father was there to take me home. This really freaked me out because I don't recall giving the cops any information about myself, and I wasn't carrying my wallet at the time either.
<br>
<br>
He took me home, absolutely disgusted with me (I don't blame him) and I passed out in my old room. I woke up some ten hours later and still didn't feel normal, but I had to go to work. It felt like my reality had been turned inside out. Yet I knew I was alive, and that relief overcame my feelings of dread. I went to work, related some of the story to my boss, and went back home. It would be three months before my confidence returned.
<br>
<br>
With an experience like that, you'd think I would have had the sense to quit all together? No. I carefully looked back at that experience with an objective eye and saw it for what it was. I needed to take the LSD at that time to show myself the depths to which I had sunk. The whole god/Cenobite thing was a pure product of my subconsious, all of the images known to me. I was afraid, deep down, of facing my fears of death, and of facing up to real living, away from drugs. It wasn't until two years later that I would fully be free from drugs, but this was a major step in that direction. It would not be the last trip however.
<br>
<br>
It was the night of my twentieth birthday when I tripped on LSD for the last time. I was at a party, and it just happened. An old friend of mine was going to drop, and for some reason, I felt I had to drop with him. So we popped a double tab of blotter each, and went off with a third friend to my apartment. The plan was to chill there and just trip in peace, or maybe take a walkabout. We got to the pad but the other guys wanted weed. So the third friend called his dealer, and we agreed to walk out to meet him. Stepping back outside (I was living downtown at this point, in a seedy shit bachelor apartment in the low-rent drug red-zone) the LSD kicked me like a mule. I was soaring. We headed down the street to the dealer's place, and on the other side of the street I saw a rag-tag aboriginal family trudging in the opposite direction. I swear to god they were calling out my name 'Christopher! Where are you? Christopher!' and it freaked me out, because my mother is aboriginal, and I felt that this was the family I had abandoned.
<br>
<br>
I dwelled on this for only a bit, because at the next major intersection, the third friend started screaming into traffic 'Whooooo! Whoooo! Isn't this great? Walking around downtown just completely fucked? Whooooo!' He was hanging off a lamp-post into traffic, and at that point, put into that perspective, I couldn't think of anything worse than walking around downtown fucked up. What if the cops stopped us? As the signal changed to let us cross, I waited until the two friends were walking before rapidly retreating back to my apartment. I rushed in, took the elevator up to the third, and locked my door. I ripped off my boots, and cowered in bed, fully clothed.
<br>
<br>
Sure enough, the guys figured out I was gone and came back. The apartment buzzer blasted through my waking dream and I cowered deeper into the covers. They screamed up from the street 'Chris! Chris!' This freaked me out more. I simply tried to disappear. Eventually they left, and then tried to call from a phone. I tore the phone out of the wall. Finally, I would have peace. It was 2 AM.
<br>
<br>
There was a late night pizza place, Romeo's, below the north window of that apartment, and I could hear tons of bass coming from there. I went to the window, and hung out over the street. It seemed like the street was full of taxis, stretching as far as I could see to the west. In the parking lot, all manner of cars were parked, and people were partying. It was too much for me, so I headed back to the bed. I tossed and turned, trying to sleep. I cast furtive glances at my boots, there by the door, thinking 'shouln't I be somewhere? I should be walking somewhere'. A serious hole opened in my fabric of reality - literaly! The black and shimmering hole opened above my bed, and I could put my hand into it! I looked at the clock. It was 1:36 AM! How could this be? I had gone backward in time? I was tripping now for sure.
<br>
<br>
There was no real apprehension or terror here, not like that trip two years before, just a sense of 'wow, I am so totally fucked up, and it's my birthday' Some time later I was able to think in sequence enough to go into the bathroom and take a shower. It felt like my body was just covered in a grease I couldn't remove. I stared at my nakedness in the mirror and thought 'man, I am so unhealthy and ugly' It was largely true. Four years of drug abuse had not been kind to my frame. My bones were clearly visable below my sallow skin, and my face was covered with pocks and pimples. I cried. What had become of me? Again and again the realization came that I was twenty years old and I hadn't done a damn thing worthwhile.
<br>
<br>
I flicked on the television, and all the early morning children's shows were on. Yet in each and every one the message was the same: Make friends of your enemies. I thought, it's so true, how many people do I hate that don't even deserve it, and I am the one I hate. It's all in me, I am the only one who affects my reality, and this is what I have done. What a failure. I was coming down, but not fast enough. I had to meet my family in the morning for my 'birthday party'. I was still high when my father came to get me. We drove towards the family house and a kid on a skateboard crossed the road in front of us, tried a trick, and bailed. My father said 'He thinks he's so cool!' and I felt he was talking about me, about my lifestyle. It was terrible. I was so pitiable. We got to the house, and there my three totally clean family members gathered around me and stared at me with open disgust. They knew I was a drugged-out loser who didn't deserve a show of affection, even on his birthday. I took the cards, cried again, and went home.
<br>
<br>
Bad trip? Hardly. Perhaps this was the best trip of all. I learned all I needed to learn. From that day on, five years ago, I have devoted all my time to improving myself. I am clean, no drug use, no alcohol use. I eat healthy, and exercise regularly. I am a beautifully solid 180 lbs, with clear skin and a positive glow. I married last year to a beautiful woman who has taught me more about myself than any drug ever could.
<br>
<br>
Are drugs good or bad? Drugs are drugs, and they have their uses. It's like medicine. If you're sick, you take it. I think that most of us are in some way psychically sick, and this is the reason so many of us are drugged...
<br>
<br>
Thank you for your time, if you took the time to read this, and I hope it has helped you in some way. I know it helped me.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1993</td><td width="90">ExpID: 3486</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 31, 2001</td><td>Views: 28,256</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=3486&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=3486&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Bad Trips (6), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">145 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
First off before anything else, Thank you Erowid, you have been a great ally to me over the years in helping me identify a few mysterious substances and helping me to see things to which I was once blind.
<br>
<br>
My story starts in 1998, it was my first Trip on LSD. Since then I have become an experienced psychonaut, sampling from almost every corner of the psychedelic kingdom. The reason I am writing this now is because I recently came across my initial log I had kept during and after the experience and I thought that perhaps it would do someone some good to read here about the single most wonderful and amazing experience of my life.
<br>
<br>
It was my freshman year in high school, I had been smoking a lot of pot and was very intrigued as to the nature of other more powerful psychedelics. I sought and sought for Mushrooms and Acid for almost a year without any luck. Then one day my good friend and smoking buddy M announced that he knew a guy who could hook us up with some Blotter. Before he could even ask me if I wanted any I was stuffing a $20 bill into his hand and begging him to pick some up for me.
<br>
<br>
The next day, I met M at school, along with my friends T and D, who had also given money to M for some acid. I had four, T and D both had 2, and M had 1. I had read that you must prepare thouroughly for a psychedelic adventure before you embark, making sure set and setting were correct. All that went out the window the second those tabs were in my hands.
<br>
<br>
They were wrapped in foil, a tiny square of white paper, split into four smaller squares. We all went into the bathroom to look more closely at our treasure. I told them I couldn't wait and was going to eat mine now, they said they felt the same way, so we all dosed, I gave one of mine to M as a thank you for procuring them for us. We each placed the tabs under our tongues and then split up for our next classes, lunch being in about an hour.
<br>
<br>
Thus began the craziest school day in history. D and I had the same class so we left together. Ah, Algebra 1A. D and I smiled at each other as we entered our class room, not knowing just what was going to happen.
<br>
15 minutes go by... Nothing
<br>
25 minutes... Nothing
<br>
35 minutes... I think I feel something! Nevermind, nothing.
<br>
The Lunch Bell Rang to let D and I out into the halls. I felt a bit cheated that nothing was happening, wondering a little how well M knew this guy who he had got this stuff from. D and I go outside to smoke a cigarette. By this time it has been about an hour since dosing, and I wasn't sure, but it felt like I was sweating a little. I finished my cigarette and walked back up to the door to get back inside the school building. Just as I pulled back the door it hit me like a ton of Bricks.
<br>
<br>
It seemed like an extremely long time I was taking to open the door. I stepped inside as a HUGE grin spread across my face. I looked back to see D, but he was not there, probably still outside smoking a cigarette.
<br>
<br>
I decided that it felt very good walk, something special I was noticing
<br>
about the way my feet connected with the floor. It felt almost as if my feet were made of Jell-O and every time they hit the ground they sort of sunk in a little bit. I opened the door to a stairwell and started to ascend, for some reason thinking that it was an aweful lot like walking up a dragon's back.
<br>
<br>
I reached the top of the stairs and the hallway spread out in front of me like nothing I have ever seen before. It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen, just the way that the fluorescent lights illuminated the hall was wonderful. It seemed there had been a veil in front of my eyes my entire life, and suddenly it had been lifted so i could see everything for the first time in color. There seemed to be a million things about that hall that I had never noticed before. I took it all in at once, absorbing every little crack in the tile all at once. I noticed that my eyes were not focusing on any one thing, but rather I could focus on a million different things at once.
<br>
<br>
Some strange and wonderful smell filled my brain and I decided to wander the halls a bit. I walked for a bit, absorbing the scenery I had taken for granted for so long, and then the Bell rang. Lunch was over and I must make that long journey to my class room. The hall fills with people and suddenly I feel very alone. A beautiful girl stops and says something to me that I cannot understand. I know she is speaking, but I cannot filter out the background sound of the hallway. I know this girl. I guess she noticed the huge grin on my face, because she gave me a hug then and I felt the most warm and happy feeling of my life, I then join the flow of bodies and continue my journey to the class room.
<br>
<br>
I enter the class room to see D seated already, he looked up at me with the same goofy smile that I knew I must be wearing, and the most Dialated pupils I have ever seen. I took my seat in the back of the room. A test was passed out and I begin, wondering how I will do in my new conciousness.
<br>
<br>
Algebra is a tricky thing in hyperspace. I try to concentrate on my test, but I keep on noticing things. First on the wood grain on my desk, are those faces hidden in there? Then the designs on my hands and pencil grab my eye. It seemed every cell in my body was visible to me at that moment, where I had once seen only skin, now I saw that in reality I was an entire Universe of living things! I look up to see how much time has passed, it seems like hours, but no, only a few minutes.
<br>
<br>
I notice a fat girl walking towards the front of the room to adress the instructor. So slow she moves, like a slow motion video. Then it occurs to me that perhaps it is just that my thoughts are moving at such an accelerated speed that she only seems to be moving slow. I gaze around the room at the super-imposed embossed designs that were making themselves evident from out of the walls. I remember thinking about the term 'read the writing on the wall' and I started to laugh. The rest of that class I spent trying to decipher the alien writing on my test paper.
<br>
<br>
As the bell rang, I grabbed D and he mumbled something that I know I should have understood, but didn't. I tried to tell him what I was feeling, but the words seemed to get tied up in each other and fall to the ground. I gave up and went to my next class. ROTC was very interesting that day. Considering the whole class is simply spent standing at attention and staring straight forward.
<br>
<br>
As I stood in formation I watched the back of the girl in front of me as if it were a TV screen. New images constantly popping up and bubbling to the surface. Then I look down and notice the curves of her ass. I think how good it would feel to pull her close to me, I attain a Giant erection as then my mind wanders on to a question. I ask myself: what do you think?
<br>
<br>
It sounds like and absurd question, but it made sense at the time. The word 'Weird' haunted every though that ran through my head. The word became a sort of gravel that filled the corners of my mind. My company commander barked out reprimands for a pis poor performance at some Drill Team competition, but he seemed so far away. I spent the rest of that class looking at a picture that had been hanging on the wall in that building forever, yet I had never noticed it until that day. I just couldn't make out what that damn picure was. A dog? A man with a gun? Perhaps a wounded soldier?
<br>
<br>
The Bell rang and my troubles were over. School had ended and I was free to explore the whole wide world. I felt I had been granted brand new eyes to percieve everything I missed in my daily inspection of things. I met up with D, T, and M at the Flag Pole and we made our way off school grounds.
<br>
<br>
The ground was alive with 3-d peace signs and flowers and a million bizzare fractals that I could never describe in a million years in words. We spent the rest of the day by a pond in the area. We smoked some pot, and we watched the water play. After a few more hours it began to get dark, and we all split up and went home. I tried to watch TV, but it seemed too strange after the natural splendor of the outdoors.
<br>
<br>
I decided to go to my bed and try to digest the experience and record my thoughts. I eventually fell into a sea-sick sleep and awoke feeling a new man. The only thing that could ever describe these events would be that it was without a doubt the most wonderful experience of my life. For about a month after that a feeling of heavy well-being followed me around. Never have I had an experience to rival it, and believe me I have tried.
<br>
<br>
For those of you out there who are thinking about doing this drug, I offer some advice. Acid is like a swimming pool, it is sometimes safer to wade in and get used to the water bit by bit, however the way to enlightenment lies at the deep end and there is no better way to learn to swim than to jump in over your head!<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1997</td><td width="90">ExpID: 10857</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 27, 2001</td><td>Views: 13,333</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=10857&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=10857&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : First Times (2), Glowing Experiences (4), School (35)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This experience took place early in the year 2000 in a small town in north central Florida. The night began with my attendance to a keg party consisting of a near-full keg, an apartment that I had never been to, and about 25 college aged people (about one-third of which I knew). I had already consumed about 4 or 5 beers, but I have a high tolerance for alcohol, so the effects were not overpowering.
<br>
<br>
Not long after I was at the party, I was engaged in a conversation with a friend-of-a-friend that I had heard of, but never actually met. We talked about music and the local drug scene for about 15 minutes or so, when he brought up the subject of acid. Not soon after, he sold me 5 tabs of paper that he said were quite potent for a cheap $10. I was suprised at the low price, but split the tabs with my close friend Eric, each of us eating 2 and a half tabs.
<br>
<br>
We soon left the party to go to our friend Jennifer's house to listen to some new house music Jennifer had bought and to play her old, original nintendo system with classic games (tetris, etc). I rode with Eric.
<br>
<br>
We got there and played Legend of Cage and listened to Jennifer spin her house records. I soon started feeling a bit strange, but I had tripped many times before this, and it was not anything new. I smoked a few cigarettes and kept playing nintendo, noticing that no one had said a word for quite a while (at least 10 minutes). Two new people soon came by, bringing with them burgers from Krystal's (a fast food chain). Justin, one of the newcomers, announced directly to me that he was tripping pretty hard (and wasn't particularly happy about his trip), but that he was 'always up for eating krystals.' I was familiar that the chemical composition of LSD was crystalline, and it made me a bit curious of his statement. He then repeated the statement a few more times and laughed a scary, demonic-type laugh. I had seen Justin a few times before this, but I was not his good friend, and had never seen him like this.
<br>
<br>
Not soon after, I began to trip extremely hard, and I got a strong feeling that the people I were with, even my friends, had an evil nature to them. I concluded this based on the things they said and the looks they gave me. It seemed that whenever I would think this, whoever I was thinking of would look at me and give me an evil, knowing smile.
<br>
<br>
I became more and more frightened of the people and situation in Jennifer's house, and I had a strong feeling that I needed to leave soon or I would start freaking out. I looked at Eric, and mentioned the idea of leaving soon. Immediately, Justin asked Eric where his keys were. It was then that I realized Eric had lost his keys, and I was stuck in this house with these people. The situation was now elevated, and I was soon so freaked that I fled the house alone without anyone noticing.
<br>
<br>
I found myself under the street light outside. I looked up into the artificial light, wondering what I had done and what on earth I was going to do with myself. I looked back to the ground, and saw something I will never forget. There were three small black kittens circling me and meowing silently. I bent down to touch them, and they kept circling, not affected whatsoever by my petting. I began to really freak and I started running in the direction of my house, which was about 5 miles away.
<br>
<br>
I soon found myself in the middle of a mid-high class neighborhood at about 5:30 Saturday morning. The sky was beginning to take on a reddish-pink hue, yet it still retained it's dark-blue night shade. I wondered how I had gotten there; I was supposed to be in my own neighborhood. Yet I felt like I wasn't in a neighborhood at all, but in another dimension or reality. After staring around intently at this interesting new place, I lost all previous fear and anxiety, and things began to take on an unexplainable mathematical clarity. I was not visually hallucinating, however. I was just able to look at the road, the blades of grass, the gentle breeze, and the trees, seeing them all as extremely complex mathematical equations and expressions.
<br>
<br>
I was overwhelmed by the sensations, and I collapsed into the yard of an unknown resident. As my body hit the grass, I suddenly felt as if I had lost my mortal body and my consciousness had elevated into the afterlife.
<br>
<br>
And then it happened. The colors and shapes of everything around me turned into giant fractals. MY history and existence was an entire world of chaos math and neverending, intelligent fractals, expanding and developing into infinity. My mind was at a peace I can never describe - to this day, I honestly believe that equations, fractals, and math govern our universe and compose the afterlife. Is it my own personal LSD psychosis, or had I seen the afterlife?
<br>
<br>
I have not and will never eat LSD again, for fear of my own sanity. I still attend the University of Florida, and I maintain good grades, but I frequently think back to that strange, revolutionary experience, and I always will. I honestly believe it was not just a giant, drug-induced hallucination, but was an actual glimpse into further dimensions and realities.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 2768</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 28, 2001</td><td>Views: 15,083</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=2768&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=2768&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Alone (16), Difficult Experiences (5)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 6:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">200 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Vitamins - Niacin</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">120 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I was at a club and my good friend gave me a hit of acid, which I hadn't done in over a year. I was apprehensive, but took it knowing I'd have a fun time with him. So we danced and I made out with a cute girl, and we went to get some food on the way home.
<br>
<br>
I had to be up for work the next morning, so I wanted to come down easy so i could sleep. My friend told me he heard that taking Niacin makes the effects virtually stop. He had the WRONG information!!! I took 200mg of the vitamin, and 10 minutes later, my whole body felt like it was on fire.
<br>
<br>
A searing pain started in my crotch, then my armpits, my buttocks, my feet... all my hot points--and spread quickly. My friend had gone home, and my roommate was asleep, and I was freaking out. I ran to the bathroom and couldn't recognize myself in the mirror. My face was beet red and swelling up around my eyes--I had to claw out my contacts because my eyeballs felt literally like someone had poured liquid fire into them.
<br>
<br>
By this point I was screaming, and I jumped into a cold shower to try to cool off. I really thought i might be dying, so I screamed for my roommate to wake up and help me. I was tripping very hard at this point and wanted to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. But when she came running in, she screamed too. My feet and hands were bright purple, with streaks of purple running up my legs and arms. And my eyes were almost swollen shut. All my skin was stretched and cracking. By the way, I was in shock too, so I was convulsing and shivering and chattering my teeth uncontrollably. The shower had made the condition much worse!
<br>
<br>
I tried to have her call the ER to ask if I should come in. I couldn't imagine the reaction being from the acid, since I had taken it 6 hours before. I knew it had to do with the Niacin. My roommate was so scared she almost called 911, but I had no insurance and didn't want anyone to know I took drugs. So I called myself, while I could barely walk or talk. The man that answered kind of laughed at me and told me to just wait it out. I had to sit for 2 hours convulsing under lots of blankets, drinking water, tripping out.
<br>
<br>
The doctor said it was just an allergic reaction to Niacin, which is very common. He called my condition 'flushing'--HA! I literally was afraid that I was going to be permanently disfigured. You wouldn't believe what I looked like. So the next morning, I looked at my multivitamin, and saw that 100% daily dose of Niacin is only 20 mg! I took 10 times the normal dose! I have never been so scared in my life.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 11095</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 6, 2001</td><td>Views: 38,742</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=11095&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=11095&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Vitamins - Niacin (230) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Health Problems (27), Difficult Experiences (5)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
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<!-- Start Body -->
My second time taking LSD was my most visual experience, but it was also the scariest trip I've ever had. Me and a couple of friends wanted to get really drunk before we were supposed to be in a play the next day (which I starred in). We had a hard time finding some alcohol, but we did come across a large amount of LSD in the form of tabs. It was about 9:00, so I said what the hell. It would probably wear off by the time I had to be in the play. That was a very wrong statement. This trip lasted even through the play.
<br>
<br>
I took one to start with, and my other friends took more than one each. An hour passed, and nothing was occuring. We were outside in front of a bonfire, and it started to get pretty dark out. I started getting worried, and decided to take 2 more tabs. In about a half an hour I started to feel the effects coming on. A tree branch seemed 3D as it stretched toward me. One friend put in some Marilyn Manson, and it freaked me out. I stood up feeling very dizzy and plopped down on the grass to stare at the stars. They were spinning around in amazing patterns, and sucking me up into a spiral. This forced me to go back to the fire.
<br>
<br>
I started getting very scared; I don't know why, but I was. I looked over at my friend who was staring at my face awkwardly. His face started to decay and his skin was falling off. I turned my head in disgust, and told him what I saw. I looked back, and his face morphed into a werewolf, then a zombie, and a skeleton. I told him to stop what he was doing. He told me to be calm, and think happy thoughts.
<br>
<br>
The whole world was spinning around me at this point. A large tree, looming over me, bent down and pointed at me. I got up, ran into the grove area, next to the bonfire, and saw a sea full of waving skeletons. I started screaming like a maniac, and the other guys told me to shut up and sit down. I calmly sat back down, and totally forgot what I just went through. I stared back at the same friend again, and suddenly his face turned into Herman Munster from the Munsters. I started giggling, which caused all of the fryers to laugh with me. I knew I was still frying hard because the fire was melting into my feet, so I stood up and said that I had to try and get some sleep.
<br>
<br>
I went into the tent, and stared up at the inside of the tent. I saw amazing swirls of color and different colored naked women dancing all around my eyes. They kept calling my name, but I couldn't reach them. I closed my eyes, and saw quilt patterns of women's breasts, followed by a hopping bunny, which zoomed off into a trail of psychedelic colors.
<br>
<br>
I knew I couldn't sleep, so I got up and sat back with the guys at the fire. I feel that at this point (about 1:00) my peak had come and gone, but I was still frying hardcore. From the period of 1:00-4:00, I was in a deep state of confusion, not knowing who people were, who I was, what I was doing there, and why I took the acid.
<br>
<br>
When the morning started to make its face known, we all got up and took a walk down the street, looking at the beautiful colors coming from the flowers all around us. I was still feeling the effects of the drug, so I started to get worried again. When the other guys got back to the house, I ran over to my house, which is down the street, and ran into my shower. The walls on all sides of me seemed to be melting down to my feet. I saw faces popping up on the walls and when I waved my hand in front of me, I saw a million hands tracing off of it. I felt a deep sense of fright while taking this shower, which caused me to cry and punch myself.
<br>
<br>
When I got out of the shower, I quickly ran back to the house where my friends were, and realized that the shower didn't help, because I forgot where I just came from. The time was now about 7:00, and I had to be at the play at 8:00. I felt scared beyond control. Everyone told me that I would be all right, if I just calm down, and not worry about it.
<br>
<br>
We all piled into my car, and I drove down to the school. We got out, and I felt like I had been beat up. I couldn't look at anyone in the face, and I couldn't do the play because I forgot almost all of my lines. My friends that were with me the night before helped me out with my lines and, lo and behold, the first showing of the play started. I did very badly, but luckily, I wasn't the only one. I rested during the break between shows, and told myself that I would do great on the next show. I tried to push the bad thoughts out of my head, and the show went on. It went very good. After the play, I felt like throwing up, so I went to sleep in my bed, and woke up the next morning, feeling great because nothing bad went on, even though I worried too much.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1998</td><td width="90">ExpID: 3315</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 13, 2001</td><td>Views: 15,147</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=3315&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=3315&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 drops</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">inhaled</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/nitrous/">Nitrous Oxide</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gas)</b></td>
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</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">135 lb</td>
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It was the night of a promo-party for an upcoming movie based on the rave and dance culture. My friends and I decided to go and check it out since it was so near by. Prior to leaving my friend's home and going to the party, two of my friends thought that it would be interesting if we were to take a few drops of acid to make the night a little more interesting. I have never done acid before and was going through a tough and emotional situation so I decided 'might as well.'
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<br>
I have never researched on acid before so I trusted in my experienced friends that this will be a gauranteed, enjoyable time. One of my friends gave me three blots on my fist and not knowing what to really do with it, licked it before it spilled off my hand. *Note that my friend had already sucked a couple of balloons of nitrous that night so the drops that she gave me weren't so precise. I did get three drops but I can imagine that those were 4 to 6 drops in actuality.
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<br>
It was between 11 and midnight. I drove us to the parking area and was not yet feeling a thing. We arrived there to only find that we cannot get in because it has reached its maximum capacity. I didn't seem to mind because I found myself being content with just standing there outside and hearing the thumps of bass on the wall. We decided to go back to the car and drive back home. I was still able to drive because I wasn't feeling it just yet.
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<br>
We got to the house about an hour to an hour and a half later from the time we first left to go to the party. At that time I still was not feeling a thing. My friend suggested taking a toke or two of nitrous. I was definitely doubtful just because of the things I've heard about it and its effects. I was still in a droggy mood so once again I thought 'what the heck.'
<br>
<br>
For the first three times I just did not know how to get that high off nitrous. Finally, after one big balloon, I got that ringing in my ear, my head began to feel numb, and I saw all lines and shape ripple between each other. Yet, I didn't seem to be too fond of it. Seeing things become like jello was not enough for me. Having done ecstasy before, I expected more from it and it just could not compare to e, my drug of choice. I had rather preferred to feel something than to see something. But it did not make me dislike it and I could not really judge it. Instead, I just did not take anymore and understood what others saw and respected the reason why they would like it.
<br>
<br>
So obviously, I was not really into this whole visuals thing. Boy, did I not expect what I was going to go through!
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<br>
I decided to just lay on my back and wait for it to come over. As soon as more visitors came, I sat right up to greet them and an unusual sense of whim draped over my brain. I then decided to just sit back down and lay my back on the wall. A first timer was with me as well but he seemed to be more active than me. I did not know the visitors very well and decided to just be to myself and watch.
<br>
<br>
Everyone just seemed so flamboyant and I could hear and see what each person was involved in: one group was doing this, those two were talking about that, this group is mingling with that group--things were just happening, man. I felt like I was watching a movie and it was a big ol' drama. My perception also became slow and it seemed like I was watching takes and film stills. This was about two hours after I knew that it has taken over me.
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<br>
Many times I felt the need to go to the bathroom. The first time I went, I realized that I just got my period and that bothered me a lot. I couldn't even feel like I was peeing--I could hear it but I couldn't feel it. As I was leaning I felt like I was one story high from my feet. I thought, 'Weird, interesting.' *I for one am the type to observe and take note of things when I am under the influence. So throughout my experience I was observing and analyzing.
<br>
<br>
I went back to my spot on the sofa bed and continued watching my 'movie.' Knowing that I was on my period I was also conscious of whether or not I was 'spilling' and I was constantly feeling embarrassed.
<br>
<br>
For the most time I felt numb. At times I felt my cramps and then it would go away. And at times my stomach felt like it was turning or being squeezed. At those times I knew I did not want to be on this drug. I thought, 'I like to feel things...good things for that matter. Not not feel things and be a spectator.'
<br>
<br>
At times I thought that I had a revelation to some great and oh-so-important question--so did my first-timer friend. I still don't remember what the question was or what the answer was to it. But somehow, everyone knew that answer and that question along with us and even teased us about it. Everything also was just like deja vu. Example: Didn't he just go through that door already? and Didn't we just answer this question?
<br>
<br>
One very memorable moment I have was when I guess I blacked out for a bit and then suddenly sat up and thought the girl across my way said that I had a pretty bracelet. I then kindly said thanks and said that a friend of mine made it. Right after I said that, what I saw changed. That film still of what I was just interacting with fell down like a curtain and the real thing was the film still of the girl looking at me with a confused and 'what the hell are you talking about' look. After that I slid back to my spot by the wall and vowed to never speak or interact again.
<br>
<br>
About 5:30 in the morning, in the background all I heard was my friend say 'all of a sudden it becomes day.' Then and there I was staring out of the window and what I saw, the street lamps and dark sky fading out, sunrise fading in and then out, and day light fading in, merged all in one moment. I thought that my friend was a god or some shaman for that moment. Right then something clicked in my head and I perked up and thought it's time to go home.
<br>
<br>
I asked if it was safe to go home and such and my friends just said, 'Drive. You'll know what to do. If you feel unsure about it just drive back here.' They were very experienced with acid so I trusted what they said. And I wanted to go home and that's all I was sure of.
<br>
<br>
I got up and felt higher (that one-story high feeling) than normal. I walked out and I could hear every rustle of leaves, dew drop, and wind blow. As I got to my car I could imagine a theme song to my life in the background, that is, as if it were a TV show.
<br>
<br>
<span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. <a href="/chemicals/show_image.php?i=dmt/dmt_contraindications1.gif">Don't do it!</a>]</span>
<br>
<br>
I got into my car and let out a big sigh of relief. I had a big ol' smile and felt like I was starting anew or like as if I was just starting the day and am off to work. In my car I knew that my perception was distorted. Three-quarters of what I saw, from the upper left to the upper right and to the lower right of my picture, looked like as if I was in a glass bowl while my lower left sight was normal. I couldn't feel the gas pedal but I knew where it was. I turned on the radio and it was 6 o'clock and the local radio station was hosting a show on drugs. What a conincidence I thought. As I drove, I sat there nodding and understanding just what they were talking about. I thought, 'Yeah, that guy who just called just does not understand' or 'I so know what you mean!'
<br>
<br>
I was somewhat afraid of my well-being because I knew that my vision was messed up and I could not really feel a thing. But with my driving experience, I judged that I would be fine taking myself home that's just 15 minutes away. I just knew to watch my speedometer and traffic lights. It was pretty much empty roads all the way and I depended on my sense of sight for the most part.
<br>
<br>
I got home and felt relaxed. I also felt guilty for what I had just done and was going through. It was real early in the morning and so my brother was still asleep. I did the usual as if I had just gone home from a rave--I took a shower. I knew that I was being cleansed but I didn't feel 'one with' the shower. I just knew that it soaked me. I dressed and went to bed to only find that I could not sleep.
<br>
<br>
Everything was breathing or morphing. It was only this time, 7 to 8 hours after I took my hits, that I began to really experience and acknowledge my visuals. But I was just not in the mood for it. When I looked into the mirror my pores were coming out and I looked old and worn out. My curtains were swaying and edges were rippling--just like my nitrous experience. My feet still felt like they were all the way down there, my stomach felt like it was turning and I was cramping. I decided to watch some television thinking that I would get bored and fall asleep. My stomach began to feel empty so I also decided to eat some cookies. The cookies were just brittle and too sugary for my taste at the time and decided that food was just not a good option right now.
<br>
<br>
Things were morphing and I couldn't deal with it. I went back to my room and decided that I needed to be productive. All the things that I was worrying about, school, friends, and family, I just wanted to forget about and move on. I began to think that I was wasting my time dwelling on those problems. So I wanted to do something and I just knew that occupying my time would distract me from my visuals.
<br>
<br>
I thought that I should leave because I definitely did not want my family to see me in that state. Whether they could tell that I was on something or not, I felt too guilty to be there. I also felt like I resolved my problems so I packed up and drove an hour and a half back to my dorm. Even while I was driving I was still experiencing that fish bowl perception (I always analogize it as if my soul was in a fish bowl). So I just told myself to concentrate and be aware of everything as I drove.
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<br>
I made it to my dorm safely around 9 and I found myself to be alone because of the holiday weekend. I was feeling very lonely and I tried to consume myself with chatting on the internet, calling a friend from the other side of the country, and blasting drum and bass music and moving to it. When I sat in front of my computer I noticed my visuals would slow down. Things still morphed but not as much. I decided to put on a 'pyschedelic' screen saver to entertain me.
<br>
<br>
It was interesting but I just felt like a log. I later thought it to be a mind-dumbing thing to do and stopped looking at it. As soon as noon came, I went into my bed and tried my best to fall asleep. I eventually did and had a good 2 hours of sleep. Around 3 I woke back up and found other things to do: get my prescription filled and buy gifts for my close girlfriends and mother. I got back around 5 and thought that I should sleep again. Later that night I bought french fries and a smoothie. I didn't have an appetite but I just knew that I had to put something in my stomach. I wandered around the university village just observing, thinking, and wanting to talk to someone but I just ended back to my dorm.
<br>
<br>
Around midnight I was basically back to normal. From the last hint of visuals, which I think was around noon, to midnight I felt just being 'high'--like there was a breeze just going through my head. For twelve hours, I just felt relaxed.
<br>
<br>
So it was a tiring and overwhelming day. 12 hours of feeling the actual drug and 12 hours of post-feeling the drug. I was embarrassed of what I did and of some moments that occurred, but that is because of what I base myself according to my morals and beliefs. I was glad of what I did because I felt my thoughts to be relieved and went through a life-learning experience. I had that feeling that questions were answered but, unfortunately, I just could not remember the answer or the actual question to those lessons.
<br>
<br>
Overall, it was a tiring time. My brain had gone through so much and my body was up for such a long time. I was simply worn out and like they say, fried. After that experience I didn't feel the need to take advantage of things. I thought of how fortunate I was to have what I had and to go through what I have gone through. I was not as sulky or depressed as I was before.
<br>
<br>
My experience was traumatizing in that I went through this movie-drama and embarrassments. Yet it was also a lesson learned, in that I had a lot of things to think about and figure out. It was like a trip and a vacation from what I was going through and I had a chance to get my mind off of things.
<br>
<br>
Now, I just question and wonder how much those three drops really were.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 2921</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 16, 2001</td><td>Views: 27,901</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=2921&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=2921&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Nitrous Oxide (40) : Various (28), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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