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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
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</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">175 lb</td>
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</table>
<br><br>
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<!-- Start Body -->
I tried LSD for the first time at age 14. Peer pressure was the reason for doing so. I was with friends at a party and took the hit. After about an hour I was feeling a bit anxious and jittery and I noticed my visual perception was heightened as well as my hearing. It seemed like I could here someone sneeze from a block away. It was interesting to look at things and laugh at everything.
<br>
<br>
After about two and a half hours I started feeling really wierd and warm. I was soaked in sweat and started taking my shirt off and pants off in the middle of winter,(i am in canada so it's cold here), without having any sensation of being cold what so ever. I thought the sweat was rain and it felt like summertime.
<br>
<br>
Then I started feeling very intensly paranoid. Everybody was staring at me and watching what I was doing. I thought my friends were whispering bad things about me. I even thought people in cars driving by knew I was on acid. I was panicking very badly and didn't trust anyone I was with. I felt hopeless and out of control.
<br>
<br>
I felt like I was going crazy and the feeling or highness was never going to end. It seemed like it was going to last forever. At the time this feeling was the most horrible experience I had ever felt in my life. Everything that I looked at seemed magnified and distored. I looked at my face and eyes in a mirror and panicked because my eyes seemed to be floating in different directions and I could see every impurity and pore so intensly in my skin, and every little sound seemed so intense.(ie, water dripping from a tap). I was fearful, hopeless, nervously shaking and almost called an ambulance to come and take me to the hospital.
<br>
<br>
I tried to stay calm but everything I looked at seemed as if it was breathing. A curtain covering a closed window seemed as if it was blowing in the wind. Wrinkles on a sheet seemed to swirl around like snakes. I didn't actually see anything that wasn't there, but thing that were there seemed to be moving around intensely especially from the corner of my eyes.
<br>
<br>
After the trip was over I seemed to be ok. About a month later I was just in the mall to buy a pair of shoes and all of a sudden out of nowhere I started panicking and feeling as if I was on an acid trip. My perception was enhanced, sounds became louder, I felt nervous, uncomfortable and very paranoid. I dropped everything at the shoe store that I was going to buy and rushed out in a panic. It was as if I was running away from something but I couldn't figure out what.
<br>
<br>
I was too scared to share my feelings with anyone because I thought they would think I was crazy so I lived like this for about two years that I can remember all on my own. Now my life and mindset are more at a relaxed state and I look at my traumatic experience as a lesson learned well. I personally know for a fact that my 'LONG LASTING flashback' was definately due to my previous LSD use. It was not worth the trouble that it caused me and my family.
<br>
<br>
I don't remember ever feeling negative about anything before and since my LSD use (1 time) , it has destroyed a part of me that is greatly missed. I have become negative and depressed and now rely on 100mg of Zoloft per day forever to keep my mind in a controllable and rational state. If it wasn't for Zoloft I would probalby be dead from suicide.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1990</td><td width="90">ExpID: 3168</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 17, 2001</td><td>Views: 11,361</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=3168&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=3168&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Large Group (10+) (19), HPPD / Lasting Visuals (40), Post Trip Problems (8), Depression (15), Health Problems (27), Bad Trips (6), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2)</td></tr>
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</table>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Before starting this, I feel I should give the reader a little background information. I had wanted to do LSD since I was 8 and heard about it on an MTV documentary (during which, my parents told me that if anyone gave me a stamp with a cartoon character on it, I shouldn’t lick it). Later, during the summer after my freshman year in high school, I was reading newsgroups on the internet, and found a link to the lycaeum’s LSD archives. I read everything in there, and began my path into drugdom, becoming a veritable encyclopedia on Psychedelic drugs.
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<br>
During my sophomore year, I began smoking marijuana, and when I felt I was sufficiently familiar with being in an altered state, I began looking for acid, though somewhat passively, and came close a few times, but nothing ever panned out.
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<br>
Then in my Junior year, I was discussing this subject with one of my friends in my chemistry class, and she told me that a friend of hers had a vial and was selling sugar cubes for $5 a hit. I told her to get me 10 (I wanted it to last me a while), and told her to drop them off to me when I was at work that weekend.
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<br>
That Saturday, while I was cleaning the deli, she came into the store and told me to come with her to her car. We went out to her car, and she handed me 10 sugar cubes wrapped in aluminum foil, and I gave her $50. She left, and I rushed to the back of the store and put them in my locker in a plastic bag. The next day at school, my friend C told me that his parents were going to be out of town for the weekend, so we made plans for me to spend the night Friday night, having him pick me up after work.
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<br>
During the week I packed for the trip. I listened only to happy, light, positive music (mostly Aphex twin and other techno), and forced myself into a positive mindset. I smiled and greeted people on the street, I smiled more often, and I read “The Psychedelic Experience” by Timothy Leary. I also learned that someone else in my chemistry class got acid from my friend, and had done 3 hits, and since I was packing and knew just about everything there is to know about acid, I decided I could handle 4 (a dose I later guessed to be about 250-300 micrograms).
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<br>
Well, eventually, Friday rolled around, and at 10:00 pm I clocked off work and went into the bathroom to change back into my normal clothes. Before beginning this process, however, I put one full sugar cube into my mouth and licked the foil it was wrapped in. Moron (who I thoroughly dislike) came into the bathroom. He was to be one of my companions for the night. We talked a little while I was changing, and I quickly surmised that he had smoked some cannabis earlier that night. We left the bathroom and met C (whom I did like) as we walked toward the exit. I stopped and purchased an orange on the way.
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<br>
We then proceeded to C’s mom’s car. C and Moron urged me to take another of the sugar cubes I was carrying with me, so I did… and licked the foil once again. We inserted Underworld’s Beaucoup fish into the cd player and drove to C’s house.
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<br>
When we got in, I popped the third cube into my mouth and licked the foil. At this point I was fully experiencing a coming on speediness, or maybe it was just my excitement. We sat in his room listening to some music while I took the last sugar cube (neither C nor Moron wanted any, they were set with smoking).
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<br>
(at about t+45 minutes)
<br>
Within about 10-15 minutes, I felt a large amount of energy amassed in my left shoulder, and I had to let it out, so I suggested we go for a walk. They agreed. Before setting out, however, we went downstairs to visit C’s older brother, a former acidhead and a big group of his friends. They screwed around with me for a while, while I wore a huge, gelatinous grin on my face.
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<br>
We went to a playground, and on the way back I began to see patterns in the light being cast on the ground through the trees, and at one point distinctly remember seeing a trail of long, flat, slightly geometric children on the ground stretching away around the corner. I wanted to follow the children to see where they went, but C and Moron wanted to smoke a bowl.
<br>
<br>
(at about t+1:30)
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On arrival at C’s house, C and Moron turned on a clip from 2001: a space odyssey (y’know, the one at the end where the guy’s going through all those colors.) I was completely blown away by this. It was amazing, I had never seen anything like it. I was still smiling. When it got to the part where he sees himself dying, I at first saw a maze in the wrinkles on his face, and then as the effect became more and more prominent, I started to watch in awe as entire sections of the room in which the man was in began to shift and move and bulge.
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<br>
After this, I was thoroughly enjoying myself, but C and Moron still hadn’t smoked their bowl, and they were starting to argue. I found myself suddenly in the unfortunate position of mediator (which really isn’t the greatest position to be in, in this state), and decided they both needed to calm down. I said something to this effect, so we went outside into the back of C’s carport so the two of them could smoke. We stayed there for what seemed like hours, and I felt slightly disgusted at the way these two potheads quibbled and inhaled a vile, sour smelling smoke from the bong and blew it out into the crisp night air. I thought ‘if this is what smoking weed is like, I don’t want to smoke weed anymore.’ This thought was further reinforced by the ensuing paranoia both C and Moron tend to get after just having smoked (though I probably would have done the same, were I not on acid).
<br>
<br>
(at about t+2)
<br>
By this point I was seeing some amazing visuals, especially in the grain of the curly maple dresser C has in his room, as well as amazing fractally, geometric patterns that were constantly separating and moving outward… I even saw these in the mirror. C, by now was thoroughly stoned off his ass and said that he was higher than he’d ever been before. He laid down on the floor, put the blanket over his head and started giggling in a strange, stoned sort of way, and began describing to me things that he was seeing, most of which I don’t remember now, though he did say he saw a “ghost with a white death around him… now there’s a fox. Oohh he poked him… now he’s running away. He was also talking a lot about things “morphing”. I however was seeing almost tribal line patterns on his face, and on mine when I looked into the mirror. This is when one of the strangest sensations I have ever felt took me. In looking at the ‘tribal’ imagery on our faces, and the colors that surrounded them, I surmised that C was associated in my mind with good and happy and light and airy things (his ‘tribal’ imagery was rounder and softer, and he was surrounded by blues and oranges), and the image of me in the mirror was associated… not with bad things, but more uncertain, strange, unknown things, and I was very surprised at the sensation of being strange to myself (my ‘tribal’ imagery, btw, had a concave round sharp look to it, and I was surrounded by black and blue).
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<br>
<br>
<br>
(at about t+3.30)
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At this point, I’m pretty sure I was peaking, in that I was getting some mild ego dissolution, just sitting on C’s bed, existing. We sat in C’s bedroom just talking about what we were feeling, and thinking that the other was experiencing the same thing. It was around then that C remembered about the orange. He ate most of it, and I had two pieces. The orange segments were the most amazing, paradoxical things I had ever seen. I just sat there, rubbing it, amazed at the texture and nature of this bizarre object in my hand. It was cool and slick like jet (the stone), and it was hard and soft at the same time. I realized that it was composed of hundreds of tiny sacks of water bound in a membrane, and it blew me away. C reminded me that it was food, and I put it in my mouth, where it seemed very meaty and chewy. It tasted wonderful.
<br>
<br>
(at about t+4)
<br>
We sat and talked a little longer, and then decided to go out into the living room where the tv and computer were. I must say that walking was a peculiar sensation. C’s older brother and his friends came up and screwed around with me again, which I enjoyed, and when they were done, C logged on to the internet and posted a message on a newsgroup about how he was on weed that he thought might have been laced because he’d never been this high before, and how his friend (me, surprise, surprise) was on 4 hits of acid, and then babbled for a while, while I laughed. The screen of the computer was an endless myriad of shifting colors, which favored green and red (I had been seeing those colors throughout the night for some reason).
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<br>
C turned on the tv to the cartoon network while I went to the lycaeum on on the internet to look for trippy things to look at, and was delighted to see that the image at the front of the website was just what I had been looking for. I stared at the mushroom stalks in the upper right hand portion of the image rising into oblivion, only to start again when I moved my eyes. I screwed around on the internet, and then went to the bathroom.
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<br>
This, I think is the second most interesting part of the come down of my trip. I was staring at the floor and suddenly all the little specs of dirt and pine needles on the floor started moving. “Hehe… bugs” I thought, and they instantly became bugs: thousands of ants crawling all over the floor and up the wall. Then I blinked and they stopped moving. Every little black spot and pine needle then acquired an electrical pink or green aura-esque glow and built in intensity until they exploded into swirls of black, viney, geometric swirls and patterns that integrated themselves with the pattern in the floor. I toyed with the concept that I was “seeing through reality”. It seemed like the floor was infinitely flat, and on the other side was “the infinity of reality” that was kept from us in our normal functioning, but this wonderful chemical had knocked my filters out of alignment, and now I was able to peek behind the curtain and see what reality was. It was then that C knocked on the door to make sure I was alright, since I had been in there for quite a while, and knocked me out of my contemplative state.
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<br>
After that, as I came down (and wished I could, but knew I wouldn’t be able to, sleep), I screwed around on the computer, watched more tv, and looked at the floor some more… and the ceiling (I forgot to mention that the carpet on the floor was comprised of fractals that looked like dogs and cats, spread-eagled, holding hands, that kept spiraling outward, and the ceiling was covered in escher-esque lizards that also were fractal and spiraling outward.
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<br>
Not much happened after that. C’s younger brother got up and I had breakfast with him (a bowl of frosted flakes), and then we (C, Moron, and I) went to go drop C’s older brother off at work and then go get breakfast (which Moron and I had already eaten, but I was still hungry, and Moron is black hole of a human being). We went to a mall that was nearby and got breakfast at a breakfast place. We wandered around, joked around a little, dropped Moron off, came back to C’s house, where I finished writing the first draft of this, watched some tv, then went home and slept for about 22 hours straight. The next day, I felt somewhat depersonalized, and wasn’t sure if I was reacting to some situations correctly. For the next couple weeks, I had incredibly vivid (and in a couple instances, somewhat disturbing) dreams.
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<br>
As a later note, this report was written in chunks at different times in the day, and that’s why the earlier parts of it are more poetic and playful than the later parts… still, all in all, I think I did a good job. The background info was written about a month and a half afterward. In retrospect, I wish I had been left in the bathroom longer, to allow that train of thought to continue. Even with what little I had, I was able to put together a coherent philosophy based on things I had come up with long before the trip (the filters that we see reality through), and things that occurred during the trip (like the “infinity of reality”), that, although far from finished, is very satisfying and makes a whole hell of a lot more sense to me than the philosophies of other, established religions.
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I also feel that having my mind knocked around like that has put me into a state where I must decide what path I want my life to take (I was torn between many things), and I’ve begun leaning toward organic chemistry and music (to satisfy both my obsessive aspects: analytical and creative), and I feel that when I do it again, I will have to follow the path(s) that I choose now.
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Overall, I have the say that this experience, while having some negative aspects involving the individual I have dubbed Moron, which I chose to omit, was overwhelmingly positive, and I look forward to the next time I get a chance to ingest that lovely substance again. I still have 5 hits sitting in my closet (I sold one), which I hope to be able to use on New Years Eve (you know what they say: the way you spend New Years is the way you’ll spend the rest of the year, and I would love to be able to do this on a somewhat regular, but well spaced out, basis).<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 4392</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 24, 2001</td><td>Views: 11,886</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=4392&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=4392&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I went to visit some friends in college, and had never tripped before. I had rolled on ecstasy, and that was pretty much the only drug I had ever done. Unless you count Yellow Jackets (Ma Huang). Which aren't really a drug, they're just fucking terrible. I don't even smoke weed or do legal drugs (drink). It's a power play in my mind, because those drugs are so much easier to get. But no one ever really understands, so I'll spare you all.
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<br>
I went to see my friends where they went to college, and a friend and I picked up some acid on the way up there. I'm not really sure of any of the times or anything, but I'll do my best to be relative. Anyway, my friend and I got to the college that night. We took our acid about 30 minutes after we got there. Before and after I took the hit, I was constantly meeting new people, and while I was tripping, I felt like I had the memory of meeting those people before I met them.
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<br>
At the first part of the trip, I just felt a little off, a little goofy. I was talking to people I knew, and their faces would kind of fluctuate in size. I always remained aware that anything weird was due to the drug though. I walked around with some other friends to different rooms, talking to people, and just watching them. We sat in one of my friend's rooms for a while, I attempted to draw, and I could direcly put what was in my mind on the paper as long as I didn't realize what was happening, once I realized I was drawing, I would fuck it up.
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<br>
I went to my other friend's room where they were watching the presidential election unfold. I just sat back with some headphones and listened to massive attack for a long while, it was really nice. I was having fairly bad cyclic thoughts... where I would think something, and it would just manifest until I realized it, and forced myself to think of something else. I could easily see how someone would have a bad trip if they got a negative thought. (analyzing that when I was tripping was pretty hard, because I had to think about negative thoughts, which had a tendency to throw me into a negative thought pattern. But I realized that whenever something is bad, it just gets better...) I was also experiencing massive time distortion, I don't know really how to explain it, but it felt like everything that was going to happen, everything that had just happened, and everything that was happening for about 3 seconds before and 3 seconds after where I was in time, was condensed into one moment.
<br>
A little diagram:
<br>
<br>
normal time
<br>
<br>
--before----|
<br>
|now
<br>
|---after----
<br>
<br>
acid time
<br>
<br>
--before----|
<br>
|now
<br>
|-------after----
<br>
<br>
Overall description of experience: Time distortion, slight alteration of things that were already there, no real hallucinations. More a psychological drug than a hallucinagen. Altered Where, How, and When I felt things. Things easily manifested in my mind, made it easy to get bad thoughts stuck in my head, but it made it easy to get good thoughts stuck in my head.
<br>
<br>
After effects: The next day everything seemed a little colder, and more distant. I still felt a slight seperation of my senses. Things still seem a little colder and more distant almost a month later, not near as bad as the first day after though. Also there have been residuals that last longer than normal in my vision from bright lights. It's similar to when someone takes a picture and I have the spot in my eyes for a while, but it lasts longer. I don't know if this is from the acid, but I don't believe it was there before, at least not to this extent. Plus there's just an overall feeling that *something* has changed, but I don't really know what.
<br>
<br>
Overall: I don't believe the experience was entirely negative, nor do I believe it was entirely positive. I don't know that I would suggest it to anyone else, but I wouldn't necessarily tell anyone not to do it. I'm entirely sure what I experienced, what I felt, and how it has affected me. But I do believe it changed something. As for if I'll ever do it again, only time can tell.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 4048</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 25, 2001</td><td>Views: 13,122</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=4048&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=4048&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">70 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I am touched by the stories I've read about LSD, a lot of the bad stories too. I have always wanted to express my feelings about this drug, but there was never a chance to do that in the past (thank those LSD-crazy hippies [not Gore :)] for inventing computers and the internet).
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<br>
The first time I tripped is almost a legendary story for me. It happened in Kansas in a trailerhome. I was there as an exchange student. A friend of mine (he later followed the Dead) gave me some acid to keep while he was going on vacation; he said he didn't mind if I took some.
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<br>
In Holland (where I come from) it's legal to smoke weed, so my craving for a relaxed drug experience after one year of Kansas skunk (one bud) was getting to me....
<br>
<br>
After I cut the trip into pieces (I wanted to build up), I took some pieces and some more.
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<br>
DETAIL: In the trailerhome where I lived, were at the time 5 people who had no idea that I was tripping. They thought I had gone to bed and sleep.
<br>
<br>
Then the acid kicked in and I passed out. Still after all these years I get flashbacks of what I saw that night.
<br>
Old computer graphics, surreal graphics, cartoons, images from books I read when I was young (a lot).
<br>
After 5 hours I became aware of myself. Before that I didn't even have an idea of anything anymore, only tripping; I discovered that there was a raging thunderstorm outside and I was thinking I was hallucinating those noises
<br>
<br>
When I became aware of myself I started to get a little frightened. I couldn't get in touch with reality anymore and when I looked at my hands I could see the bones right through them and broken glass was cutting into my back.
<br>
<br>
At this time I was becoming aware that my cd-player was on repeat (Sisters of Mercy) and that the vibe in this music was getting me down. I turned on the radio and heard the sound come out backwards, turned on other music but everything sounded like shit. I was thinking 'how can I listen to this shit'; in a couple of hours my complete musical tastes changed. My whole collection sucked.
<br>
<br>
In a last attempt I put a Jimi Hendrix cd on. The room turned pink and I was home again. I had this same experience with Hendrix a couple years later with 5 tripping friends (always have a Hendrix album in your basement).
<br>
<br>
But this was not by far the end of the trip. It was almost 6 in the morning and I had to take a piss. The trailerhome looked like a cubist boat from Picasso. When I entered the room there were claws coming through my curtains. I was shocked, it was too real, this was no mere hallucination. I heard something outside and approached my window. It was our cat, she wanted to come in. I was relieved it was for real, I was sane...only the cat was made of nails, but I knew that it was the trip.
<br>
<br>
Now I was coming down but not really - my mind was tired but the trip was raging on. Here came the bad part, I couldn't sleep and was trippng my eyes out.
<br>
<br>
I didn't sleep all night and had to act normal all day. How I managed is a riddle; they didn't notice anything but I kept on tripping. In the afternoon I called the dealer in despair. I wanted to know if it would ever stop, and he said that it would (it was the stupidest telephone conversation ever).
<br>
<br>
Somehow the trip wore off and I called my girlfriend. We went out and drove to the nicest sunset I have ever seen, it was like paradise after hell.
<br>
<br>
I hope when somebody is real deperate on LSD and reads: YOU ARE NOT ALONE, THIS WORLD IS BERSERK, THE FEELING IS GOING AWAY, MAKE FUN WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, he smiles and thinks it's true.... I have done L after this trip and some of the trips were bad and some good (scene, setting, friends).<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1991</td><td width="90">ExpID: 4794</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 4, 2002</td><td>Views: 15,469</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=4794&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=4794&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : First Times (2), Difficult Experiences (5), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">175 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Looking back over the last year of my life I have many conflicting feelings. I have grown and changed as a person tremendously, and one area in which my attitudes have most changed is my drug use. In high school I always had a reputation as a big partier, and I was a pothead. I would go to school high every day pretty much, but managed to pull off pretty good grades, this made me think that drugs weren't that big a deal. This line of thinking could have really screwed up my life, and this is what I want to say now.
<br>
<br>
I got into other drugs slowly, one at a time. I started with shrooms, then moved on to ecstasy. After using the two regularly I began experimenting with other drugs like ketamine, cocaine, etc. I was lucky never to get hooked on something real dangerous like coke, and eventually I grew out of my prescription drugs phase as well as nitrous oxide. I did coke once and never went back. But my real problem was trips. I did acid the first time during the fall semester of my freshmen year in college. I loved the experience. I saw new possibilities and new worlds, my mind was expanding. I discovered a newfound interest in philosophy, psychology, neurochemistry and other areas related to psychedelics. I consumed an enormous amount of drugs over the course of the next few months. I would drop two tabs of acid on school nights then go to class the next day, I would roll on a few pills of E and wake up the next day to binge drink. The drug combinations made a never ending parade of new ways to be out of my mind.
<br>
<br>
After a time I began to grow discontent with the experiences. Acid would barely faze me after dropping three tabs. One night I took two pills of fairly powerful ecstasy. I was rolling my face off when I started talking to my younger brother about how I thought he was doing too much drugs. I had noticed that he wasn't quite his old self. He was doing acid, ecstasy, and a lot of pot, plus drinking too much. It made me realize that my poor example was what caused him to embark upon the path he had chosen. I promised myself I would do my best to be a better role model in the future. I also have noticed increasingly frequent visual distortions like motion trails and that 'liquid' effect on floor tiles when I'm high and now when I'm not. While I feel just as smart as ever, I wonder if that was the next thing to be affected. I am glad I have decided to cut back on my usage.
<br>
<br>
From now on I will not take trips for granted, I will be sparing in my use of psychedelics and I have decided to take a long break from ecstasy until there is a very special occasion for it. Other than the occasional shroom trip, the very rare acid trip, one or two more ecstasy rolls, and pot I don't plan on dealing with drugs anymore. By the time I leave college I hope that the only drug I have anything to do with is pot. As for drinking, I've got that way under control now.
<br>
<br>
Basically, the point of this story is to say I that it's alright to take it easy on the drugs. Save them for special occasions in order to make them even more special, don't become a junky like me.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 5292</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 13, 2002</td><td>Views: 17,314</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=5292&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=5292&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Not Applicable (38)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">6 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/paroxetine/">Pharms - Paroxetine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(daily)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">130 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
What I am about to tell you is the most accurate description I can give of a night in December 2000. Most of the information is taken from a paper I prepared 2 days after the experience. I think about this experience every day, and it's been almost 3 months.
<br>
<br>
I went over to my friends house. He was having a party with about 60 people. We were smoking a lot of weed. Then someone brought acid over. I am an experienced user with acid, and it wasn't too big of a deal that I decided to take six, although the most I had ever had was five, which was a bad experience due to being on a camping trip. But I was with my friends, and there was always weed if I started to get tense. But what I've learned from this experience and many others, is that weed intensifies the trip significantly.
<br>
<br>
First, everything started to get louder about 20 minutes after I had taken them. I was experiencing a mild tripping feeling, with slight visuals and feelings of the adrenaline flowing. We started smoking out of a gasmask. I had a lot, like about 10 bowls. I was in my friend's bedroom, where there were only about 5 people. I started to quickly loose reality 1 hour after I had taken them. That's when things got crazy. All in a sudden, SMASH! I fell through the bed I was laying on, fell through the floor, and down to the next level in the apartment, in which the room looked exactly the same. (I only imagined this had happened). I was laying there, my friends still there. I looked at my chest. Guts were hanging out. I could feel severe pain. I didn't say a word. Things are slightly foggy from there, but I do remember knowing I was dead. I was thinking, what did I do to deserve to die? I couldn't move. People who I knew from school who were not at the party were looking at me, knowing I was dead, and saying things like, he was a weirdo, I never did like him, he deserved it. I was in total terror. So this is what death is like.
<br>
<br>
The ambulance and police came (in my head). I saw the flashers. The cops came in and looked at my dead body. 'Yep thats what acid will do to you' they said smiling. I didn't understand why the music was still playing. I never looked at the imaginary cops directly. My friends were talking about me, about old times. They seemed unusually happy that I was dead. This thought angered me. I kept thinking, what's my coworker, my mom and everyone else going to think when they find out I died when I was tripping. I was wondering when I was going to be dead completely, like going black or going to heaven, hell, or wherever. I was seeing myself almost in the third person, in a pile of blood. I finally got the strength to get up. I thought everyone would be suprised that I was there. My friend was like, 'Are you ok?' I said what the fuck is going on!!!? He calmly said, 'It's a party dude'. I repeatedly asked him what happened. He said I was just laying there that whole half hour I was on his bed. I looked at where I was lying. There was no blood. I was now experiencing the equivalent to a basic 3 hit trip. I got reality back sooner that I thought I would. The next day, no one will ever know how happy I was to be alive. To this day I am so thankful to be alive, even though I consider my life shitty. I wonder if some parts of the trip were due to Paxil, which I have been taking for months. The times I've tripped while taking Paxil seem to be more intense for a lesser period of time. My point of this story besides sharing my extremely odd and scary experience is, you can be with your best friends and still have a bad trip.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 5348</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 14, 2002</td><td>Views: 17,280</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=5348&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=5348&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Bad Trips (6), Large Group (10+) (19)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">115 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
After a long night at work and a few shots of Jaegermister my 18 year old sister came home to a house full of friends. We all had decided to talk her into tripping with us because it was going to be such a pretty day. After about an hour of coaxing she gave in and ate the cubes.
<br>
After about another hour or so it started to kick in. We were all sitting outside in the sun trying to see whatever we could move. I was starring at a rock and for whatever dumb reason I started moving my head back and forth to make the object seem trippy or whatever. I told my sister to try it, it was cool.
<br>
<br>
That was the beginning of the most horrible drug induced seizure I ever witnessed. After she moved her head up and down a couple times she began to black out. None of us knew what was going on. She began to wave her hand in the air and kept saying 'woah, woah' we all thought that she was swatting at a bee since there was a nest nearby. She then fell into the side of the house and began convulsing.
<br>
<br>
I could hear her teeth grinding together and I will never forget the way it sounded. We all ran to see what was going on when she started shaking almost in slow motion. Her arms were stuck straight out and turned upside down. We took her into the house and sat her under the air until she became concious again. I kept asking her what her name was and she just looked at me like she didn't even see me. I was horrified and will never, ever trip again.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1999</td><td width="90">ExpID: 5549</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 17, 2002</td><td>Views: 27,811</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=5549&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=5549&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Second Hand Report (42), Health Problems (27), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td><a href="http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.cgi?A=ShowAuthor&amp;ID=74" target="new"><img src="/experiences/images/authors/author_logo_default_grn.gif" alt="Author Home Page" align="RIGHT" border="0"></a>
</td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">25 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/5meo_dipt/">5-MeO-DiPT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:20</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">130 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Well, the other night I was very bored, so I went to sleep. That's when this strange dream started, that I thought people might be interested in.
<br>
<br>
-- Begin Dream
<br>
I was sitting around reading trip reports on the internet about Foxy, having just purchased some and trying to find something interesting to combine it with since I did not like it by itself. There was no combination mentioned in any of the reports with both LSD and Foxy, so I decided to boldly go where no man had gone before. The 5-MeO-DiPT FAQ suggested that LSD would probably overpower the Foxy and it would not contribute much to the experience... boy were they wrong:
<br>
<br>
25mg of 5-MeO-DiPT was measured out and ingested.
<br>
20 minutes later, when a tryptamine buzz was being felt from the foxy, 2 hits of fairly strong acid were placed under the tongue.
<br>
<br>
Within 2 hours, both drugs had fully taken effect. The normal world became very 2 dimensional in appearance, but photographs would become 3D. Around an hour was spent thumbing through old photographs and feeling like I was actually there again, remembering everything that happened at the time fully. OEVs were getting extremely intense, to the point where it was becoming very difficult to see straight at points. The ceiling turned to a metallic liquid, and everything just looked wrong. These visuals were much more intense than 2 hits of this acid would normally bring about. Text on my computer monitor became unreadable at several points.
<br>
<br>
Audio was distorted as well. There were extreme up and down shifts in pitch and speed of music to the point where I could no longer understand the lyrics during the peak. These shifts seemed to correspond to the visuals somehow but I could not quite place how they were related.
<br>
<br>
The mental effects were much like acid alone, but it seemed as though my thoughts were being 'slurred' somehow, much like the way a very drunk person sounds when they are talking, except to my internal dialogue. This was not the same blending of words that happens to me on acid alone, but more of a messup in the language processing units of the brain that was kind of annoying IMHO.
<br>
<br>
I was also horny to an extreme level, which I kind of expected considering either of these substances alone turns me into a horny bastard.
<br>
<br>
On the body load side, there was some mild nausea at the start and some loose stool at T+12h. Muscle tension filled the experience, as well as a hint of the 'overload' feeling I get on high doses of 2C-T-7. Overall, this was an interesting combination, although I described it to a friend the next day as something I would not repeat because of the body load, and I loosely quoted another trip report I had read a long time ago:
<br>
'I was dumped out of the experience sometime the next day not having learned much for my troubles and with the general feeling that I'd been insulted somehow.'
<br>
<br>
--End Dream
<br>
<br>
So anyway, according to that dream these substances definitely have a synergy, and a very strange one at that, but this dreamer did not find it particularly interesting.
<br>
<br>
Take care!<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2001</td><td width="90">ExpID: 5735</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 22, 2002</td><td>Views: 14,982</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=5735&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=5735&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), 5-MeO-DiPT (57) : Alone (16), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">130 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<br>
This experience happened in the early autumn of 1975. I had had a bad trip on LSD (4 hits) some months earlier (May). My brother had some friends over to the house, all of whom had just dropped two hits of acid each. One of these guys had never done acid before. And there he was, dropping two hits of purple microdot for his first taste. Oh well.
<br>
<br>
We all were sitting in the living room, on the floor, lounging in couches or recliners, whatever. One or two folks were beginning to notice some effects, trails and such. No one getting giggly yet. Suddenly, the first timer leaps to his feet from where he was sitting against a wall and announces, 'My God! I'm having a bad trip!' All eyes in the room focused on ME. After all, I was the only one here who had not dropped any acid at the time. I was also the only one who had ever experienced a bad trip before. I suppose they all looked at me as some kind of authority. Well, this was no time to disabuse them of such notions. I remained slumped in the recliner and smiled beatifically at the first timer. 'You're not having a bad trip, man.' 'I'm not?', he replied in bewilderment. 'No, you're having a great trip. Just sit down, relax and enjoy it.' God had spoken, or so it may have seemed to this confused first time psychonaut. 'Okay,' he responded, sat down and pasted a big smile on his face.
<br>
<br>
The rest of the trip was just fine for all my friends. They did not remain at the house, but took off for parts unknown about an hour after this incident. They told me about the experience later. The key point here is that the first timer, who thought he was having a bad trip, enjoyed himself. It could have gone otherwise. If I, or anyone else, had responded to his panicked assertion with sympathy or with concern, we could have fed his belief and reinforced it disastrously.
<br>
<br>
I am sure most of those reading these reports do not need to be told this. It is for those who have only limited experience with psychedelics who may have fortuitously stumbled on these vaults. Take heed. Always keep a positive outlook, especially if you are functioning as a guide to someone who is new to the psychedelic experience.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1975</td><td width="90">ExpID: 5793</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 4, 2002</td><td>Views: 11,797</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=5793&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=5793&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Guides / Sitters (39), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gel tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gel tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">135 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This one is a real kicker, and I'm not sure where to start, so I'll start from the beginning.
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Every year, Cleveland, Ohio holds a St. Patricks day parade through the streets. Two friends of mine take this opportunity to drive to Cleveland (2 hours) and drop acid. The reason for this is that everyone in Cleveland is drunk in the streets on St. Patricks Day, and we can act goofy and messed up and it's not that unusual. This year, I decided to join them.
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<br>
I'm not a heavy drug user, but I tend to experiment with a great variety of substances. I've done weed on many occasions, nitrous on even more occasions, PCP once by accident, Salvia four or five times with wonderful effects, abused prescription pills by eating, snorting, or smoking them, drank a couple times (dont like it), huffed ether and glade once each, and taken morning glory seeds once (EXTREME POISON).
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<br>
A couple days before the trip, we all went to a friends house to aquire the lsd. This went off without a hitch, and we each bought one geltab. The day of the trip, I woke up at 8:45, and had a light breakfast of coffee and doughnuts. I was anticipating a wild and fun day, so I was in a really good mood. I then got in my car and picked up my friends.
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I decided to take dose as soon as we left. This was about 10:15. Being my first time, I decided to take only half the acid at first. I let it dissolve under my tongue, and then went on with the car ride as usual.
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<br>
After 45 minutes had passed, I noticed a slight effect. Sort of like when I've been awake a long long time and my thinking all funny, but without the sleepiness and other bad effects. After an hour, we were half way there, and I was definatly tripping. It was nothing like I had imagined. I thought of tripping as like being on weed, but with hallucinations. This is wrong. When I smoke a lot of weed, I get paranoid and scared. Not with acid. The feeling is so incredibly strange, It's really a bizzar high. At this point, I decided to take the other half of the dose. We stopped at the McDonalds drive through, and all got O.J. But it wasnt just oj, it was O J !!! I felt so good, I couldnt wipe the smile off my face. Acid is not scary (but I see how it could be in the wrong situation) its a beautiful, strange feeling.
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<br>
After arriving at cleveland, we decided to go to the flats. This is an area with lots of bars and night clubs and craziness. By this time, I was peaking. Everything looked so strange, and all my sences were distorted. We stopped half way there, in the lobby of some law offices to warm up. The brick wall was made so that the borders of the bricks were uneven, some were square, some pentagons, ect. I stared at the spot where the bricks met the carpet, and lo and behold, the bricks were moving, and sinking down, pulling the carpet along with them.
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When we got to the flats, we pretty much wandered around the streets for several hours. It was great. Colors seemed brighter, patterns on walls moved. The greatest thing about acid, was that the hallucinations were an extention of my mind. If I concentrate on somthing moving, you can get it to look like its moving! It's kind of like living in a dream world, where anything can happen. Everything around me was strange and unfamiliar. Acid is definatly nothing like I thought it would be. It's very bizzar, and strange.
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<br>
That night, I couldnt sleep until 2:00 AM. I was still feeling funny at this time. The next day, I still felt funny, but it was managable. It's been about a week, and I have noticed that the acid has changed me. My perception of the world is different. Colors look better, music is more intreuging, and I generally am in a better moodI'm so happy I did it, it's really an experience to think about. The only word of caution I have is make sure you have ALL DAY AND NIGHT to do nothing but trip and recover. Personally, I wouldnt want to deal with authority figures even for a good 8 hours after it wears off, it lingered for a LONG time. Well, thats my experience, so be careful, and have fun!!<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2001</td><td width="90">ExpID: 5818</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 4, 2002</td><td>Views: 14,910</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=5818&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=5818&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : First Times (2), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">300 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">125 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
In 1964 my mother, a devout religious person, died of a debilitating disease. She had raised me in her religion, but on her passing I was stripped of all faith. If there was a God, how could he have deprived me, and the rest of the world, of the benefit of the most angelic person I have ever encountered? I was bitter and confused, and stayed that way until 1967. Then, on leave from military duty and visiting a friend in California, I had occasion to try LSD for the first time. I knew about Timothy Leary's experimentations, and the term 'religious experience' had loomed in my mind for some time. I was in need of a sort of restoral of faith, needed to know that there is some reason and rhyme to life.
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I was given a tablet to swallow by my friend, and sat back against a pillow to wait for the onset of I knew not what. Ravi Shankar's sitar music flowed from the stereo, the room was decorated with tapestries and oriental rugs, mellow lighting made the room warm and comfortable, and incense burned in a wooden holder. My friend and I were dressed comfortably in Indian gauze shirts and loose bell-bottoms and talked softly of times we had shared and things that we'd experienced since we'd been apart. Conversation eventually dissipated into a peaceful silence. As I sat there the room slowly faded from my vision, being replaced by visual memories of the day. Then I was remembering the day before, and the day before that, and every day of my life in vivid brilliance. Memories were not cluttered by experience. On the contrary, they were exact experiences of the original occurences. Emotions were repeated and the sensorial memories were in full detail. I relived every day of my life in reverse order.
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The sorrow of Mom's passing was replaced by the joy of her presence in life. I once more felt her gentle caress in my hair, heard her soft words of encouragement. I remembered being a small boy with a skinned knee whose pain dissolved with a kiss to 'make it all better.' I remembered her holding me in her arms and pointing out dewdrops on rose petals in the sunshine of a morning in 1947, the year I was born. I remembered the shock of coming into a world of cold and noise at birth. I remembered the pink and purple abstract swirls of light filtering through her flesh as I floated inside her, and the undecipherable sounds of softness and harshness that had been her and my father talking. I remembered the awareness of being. I remembered a little 'ding,' the sound of a chime, and a spark of light that was my transference to physicality. I remembered being free in the universe, stars and all of space around me, and I had the capability of being anywhere or everywhere all at the same time.
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I picked a star and focused on it, and found myself approaching it. You've all seen Star Trek's introductory scene. I don't believe the show was out yet, at least I'd never seen it. That star loomed larger the closer I got to it, and it dawned on me that I may crash into it. But somehow I knew that was the ultimate point, and with that, actually entered the star. I found myself in a place of pure light, a place where all power was centered and all souls were one. I was a creature of light, sharing light and love and power with all the universe. I was an individual part of the all, as a drop of water in the ocean. I was home. I knew that I was a part of the universal energy, love, and power. I had found God and knew that we all, and everything that is, are one. It is said that God is everywhere and in everything. Yes, I am. Yes, we are. Yes, all is. We are tendrils of light intertwining to gather pure experience for that to which we are all tethered, and so the universe is in constant expansion. Profound revelation! The first of many to follow.
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The room faded back into my vision, and I was cleansed and illuminated. My friend didn't understand all I tried to relate to him, but did listen intently and tried to fathom where I had been. We both slowly came down, munching on grapes and cheese. I had found the religion that I needed. I continued to take the sacrament (LSD) into the early nineties, and continued to have the cosmic experience, much more than distorted reality, the truly transcendental trip, until I had explored all the dimensionality of the universe. My last trip took me beyond seeing the galaxies merge into cosmic beings, to the point where all creation merged into a little pinpoint of light in the void. I realized that if I went further than that, I would lose sight of creation and be lost in the void. That's okay, if you want to be a lone God and create a new universe, but, hey, I got a life here. And a Purpose. You. I now live a serene life, have taught my children well, and cherish my faith and my memories. Maybe one more time, when I'm ready to check out of this hotel. I want to enjoy my grandchildren a while longer.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1967</td><td width="90">ExpID: 5842</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 5, 2002</td><td>Views: 16,075</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=5842&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=5842&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Mystical Experiences (9), Retrospective / Summary (11), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">90 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
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A few weeks ago I had an interesting experience during an overnight geology field trip to the New England fold belt in NSW, Australia. We were staying overnight in a little motel in a rather isolated area, and it seemed that everyone's plans for the evening involved getting drunk. I have never really enjoyed this activity very much, so I decided that some other form of chemical recreation was in order. Entheogens being in short supply, I had to make do with the single hit of acid and 1/2 gram of weed I had on me.
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Me and a friend decided to split the acid tab, for a relatively mild experience. I had taken acid a number of times before, but this was only her second experience. We dropped the acid after dinner, and patiently awaited the effects.
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After about 30 minutes I could feel the first effects of the acid, during a game of pool. We decided to head outside to the fire that had been set up, and as we left the pool room my friend indicated that she was also starting to feel mild effects, most noticably a perceived increase in temperature.
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We sat around the fire for a while, enjoying observing and analysing the behaviour of our inebriated colleagues (an activity which I find very interesting while tripping), and then wandered down to a little stream nearby. By now I was well and truly feeling the acid, and I was pleasantly suprised by the potency, given the small dose. Notable effects were the intricate patterns formed by the tall trees as a slight breeze blew through their leaves, and the various images visible in the reflections off the surface of the water. My friend pointed out something on the other side of the stream (I think it was a rock) that looked exactly like a monk sitting in a full lotus. The next couple of hours were spent moving between pool room, fire and stream, with pleasant, but not mind-blowing, entheogenic effects.
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At around 2am (I think), most people had turned in for the night, and we decided a joint was in order to help us get to sleep (we had to leave at 7 the next morning). I got the joint that I had rolled earlier out of our room and we took it down to the fire, sharing it amongst a few friends. I should mention that I have smoked weed while tripping on numerous occasions, usually with disapointing effect, ranging from nothing at all to an irritable tiredness, like coming down from a speed run. This joint, on the other hand, totally blew me away. I found it extremely hard to communicate verbally, or even to move. Looking into the fire produced an instant display of fluid images, and the drunken antics of those around me took on such an hilarious aspect that I could not refrain from occasionally breaking into hysterical giggles. One guy in particular was telling a story and it was the funniest thing I had ever head in my life. This effect was similar to my first few experiences with marijuana.
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Eventually we decided to go to bed to try and get a bit of sleep. There were 4 other people sleeping in our room when we got there, and we tried to be as quiet as possible (with very little success, I should add). It was when I lay down in that pitch black room that I had one of the strongest entheogenic experiences of my life. Closed eye visuals consisted of the typical swirling patterns and colours, but their intensity and richness rivalled my strongest acid experiences - all this off 1/2 a tab! More intense still were the physical and aural effects, no doubt aided by the weed. The sound of everyone breathing made me aware of a connection I had with each of them, in that we were all sharing each others' air. This gave rise to a feeling of physical connection, like we were all joined in a sort of spiderweb pattern. At this point I openned my eyes, and immediately became aware that I was no longer inside my physical body. I was a single point of conciousness, floating in a dome-like space. I (the point) started to emit music, of a very peculiar kind. I should mention that the previous day, during one of many long bus rides, the radio was tuned to some sort of '80's Marathon'. I guess I must have been heavily influenced by that, because the music I was making (inside this dome, not in the outside world) was sort of a hybrid of 80's new wave and psychedelic trance. This music was so beautiful, and its beauty was enhanced by the way it circled around the domed walls and returned to my point-conciousness with added singing, in some strange language I could not understand.
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Needless to say, I did not get any sleep that night, as the worlds I was visiting were far too interesting. As I mentioned earlier, this was one of my most intense entheogenic experiences to date, despite the extremely low dosage. The synergy of the acid and marijuana was undoubtedly responsible, as throughout the experience I could feel myself as a mediator between the acid's celestial energy and the marijuana's terrestrial energy. The experience was also enhanced by the setting, very secluded and relaxing, especially down by the stream. In all, this was definitely a 10/10 experience.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 3707</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 25, 2001</td><td>Views: 16,331</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=3707&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=3707&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : Glowing Experiences (4), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">66.6 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
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This may be a little hazy. I'd had a few mushroom trips and much acid before, but this time things got too crazy and started interfering with real life (altered it forever). I went with a couple of girls I knew up to a winter solstice dance party north of Auckland. We went in but it turned out to be more of a club thing, lots of people drinking so we went out to the beach. Teresa put a tab on my tongue. Driving down the hill it started coming on like the adrenaline you get from falling on a rollercoaster.
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Get out to the beach. It's a full moon and beautiful the sand's glowing. I'd been reading books and developing an almost obsessional interest in telepathy and psychic stuff and spiritual stuff. I am convinced there's some truth in everything. Anyway, along with the feelings of unity and realising the interconnectedness of everything I started noticing the barriers being blurred too much. I was getting my usual hallucinations of these changing geometric beautiful patterns. And the girls I was with (who I didn'Teresa really know that well at the time) started describing what I what seeing. So I changed the patterns. It seemed to me they described that too. Wow. This was amazing. It made sense that our thoughts could be connected in some way...other people had told me about telepathic experiences while tripping. Both of the girls kind of looked like witches under this desert moon, One of them turned to me and said 'your mind is like a jumper, it's unraveling and it won'Teresa stop until it's all gone'. I mean I can tell between what's real and what's not I try to be real scientific about it. I started having these telepathic conversations with them. Everything that was spoken was directly in synch to the 'silent talking'.
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We drove down to another beach while the sun rose. We had a smoke to send us off to sleep. Before Teresa fell asleep she laughed this maniacal laugh and said 'only normal people sleep in their cars don'Teresa they'. They fell asleep but the pot just made my mind go faster. Anyway 10 minutes later I hear this guy in the carpark, hell rough and swearing at his little dog -- hecomes over to the car stares in and says 'Only normal people sleep in their cars don'Teresa they!'. And me who's not tripping but mind racing's thinking what the fuck....I mean cooincidences happen...but did she make this happen? I'm trying to make sense of all these connections. I start seeing/noticing more and more connections. I went walking and tried to centre myself.
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Back to the city I'm dealing with life but my mind's going fast. A few weeks later I go away with some friends to a bach near the mountain. I'd been reading a lot of Zen stuff and thinking about the problems in the world. I concluded that basically what was wrong with the world was that people were selfish, too egocentric, so (this is so naive and stupid in retrospect) I went and practised this yoga breathing technique I'd read about where I'd hyperventilate then hold my breath until my body would shake. This technique in the book I was reading was supposed to result in union with the divine. I intended to throw my ego away. I heard this roaring wind and I was getting closer and closer to something, except it seemed cold and harsh, I was about to jump off into nowhere when I saw this flash in my head of me and Teresa in bed together (we'd been playing these mind games with each other for a while but I was more interested in a friend of hers). I got up walked out of the room and all the lights were out. The others were lighting candles and checking the fuses, which were alright. 15 minutes later the lights came back on spontaneously. Weird.
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The next morning I went outside and tried to channel this universal energy through me. All these little birds came and flew around me. For real... I went back inside and others were playing cards, I focussed my energy and won round after round after round, it was unreal, like these extra parts of the universe were being revealed to me. I guess I had a bit of a messiah complex, without taking things literally. To cut a long story short I ended up hooking up with Teresa, went back to Auckland, found out she was a junkie and tried to make her stop, one night she'd taken some more maybe too much and she would pass out from pain withdrawing, I tried to use my healing powers (cause I thought the mind can do anything) and tried to take the pain out of her into me cause I could handle it. Me whose mind's been speeding for the past two months. Anyway it was at this point I started hearing voices. Evil destructive shit. Trying to convince me I was evil and twisted. Despite my meglomania I'm real peaceful and nice mostly. These voices would try and take me apart.
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The relationship ended up being codependent and unhealthy and lifeless as my world got progressively warped. I stopped going to art school and stayed home to help her get through withdrawal and that. Heroin is fucking evil, I was curious before but having seen the bad side I'd never do it...anyway from somewhere I got this crazy idea she would die without me and being the stupid martyr I was , I have no regrets but I could have sorted it out if it weren't for my cerebral madness. Ended up going to the psychiatrist, on medication for 6-8 months. Pot brings the voices back. They are like fully-fledged humans (if humans had wings) I mean totally unique personalities. I still hear voices sometimes. Mostly they accentuate doubt and fear. But there are good ones as well. When I was younger I always wanted some kind of tragedy but when faced with it life is too precious and beautiful to discard. The relationship ended on New Year's Eve 2000. I lost a lot of my self-respect, cause I clung on a little too long because I was losing my mind and everything else.
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<br>
I miss tripping. Psychiatry doesn't really know shit, but if I was to trip again I could be opening myself up to a lot of trouble. On the upside I've learnt a lot, and there's this whole spiritual growth thing. Some drugs can help, others can hurt. And be careful what you wish for. I've experienced enough to be completely humbled and in awe of the universe, and convinced time and again in all the psychic stuff. Many layers of reality. These are things that will come naturally like a flower unfolding. If you try and force it open like I have done you can get a whole lot of pain. One good thing I've learnt from tripping is that you can feel really alive, everything sparkles with a kind of newness, vitality. But you can take this from your experience and cultivate it in the rest of your life. To receive the next moment fully you have to let go of the last moment fully.
<br>
<br>
Kia Kaha. Kia Maia. Kia Kahawanui.
<br>
(Stand Strong. Elevate your spirit. And hold firm)<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1999</td><td width="90">ExpID: 5935</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 6, 2002</td><td>Views: 16,165</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=5935&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=5935&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Mystical Experiences (9), Post Trip Problems (8), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">8 glasses</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Beer/Wine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/salvia/">Salvia divinorum</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(extract - 5x)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
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This last Saturday night, a few friends and I set out to do a little tripping... One of my friends was house sitting for a family that had a chill little house in the northern suburbs of Chicago. My friend R and I took two doses of blotter marked with a sunshine symbol at 9pm. We waited at the house for the other two, A and B, who were at a local bar finishing a pitcher. When they arrived, at about 10pm, R and I had already started to feel the acid. A and B both took three doses and we all started drinking beers and smoking bowls.
<br>
<br>
This acid was very good; the doses were not very strong, but very smooth and clean. We spent the first few hours of our trip listening to music, drinking beer, and smoking cigarettes and weed. The mood was light, we were all laughing and having a good time. I felt GREAT... I have tripped about 20 times in the past, taking 1-6 doses each time and this night seemed like it had the potential to be one of my best trips yet. At about 12:30, 3 hours into my trip, we smoked a bowl of marijuana with a big pinch of Salvia extract on top. We didn't intend to experience the breakthrough salvia trip, just add a little buzz to all the buzzing already in our heads. The Salvia had seemingly no affect on the group and we continued our drinking and smoking.
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<br>
At about 1am, the whole group was on the roof of the house smoking cigarettes and bowls. We were all talking quietly about the nice weather and how beautiful everything was, but R kept raising his voice. We asked him to be quiet because he would surely awaken the surrounding neighbors; R responded, louder than ever, that he understood. However, R just got louder... He started talking about how he wanted a pillow and a blanket so he could sleep on the roof. Soon it was evident that R didn't understand us and after a few minutes of trying to communicate with him, we ended up forcefully taking him off the roof so that he wouldn't hurt himself. We walked him into the house and sat him on the couch.
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<br>
Inside the house, R continued to get weirder and weirder... All he would do in response to anything that we said to him was yell 'exactly.' He went on for almost an hour, yelling 'exactly' and talking about 'the sounds, me and E (that's me) can control it.' We realized that R was now so loud that even from inside the house, his yelling was audible throughout the neighborhood. We decided that he needed to go into the basement. We had tried to talk him down for about an hour now and he was just getting worse. We couldn't get him to move, so we all sort of grabbed him and started to lazily push him to the basement. He fought us with everything he had (thank goodness he's a skinny fucker) but we weren't on guard for what he was about to do. He freed himself from our grip (which probably wasn't too hard considering we were all a little hesitant about having to physically restrain our friend) then he sprinted to the door. Before we could stop him, he was outside. A and I followed him towards the back yard but we stopped dead in the garage when we heard a woman's voice asking 'is he ok.' We saw two female figures in approaching the garage while we listened to R screaming about how he was going to die in the backyard. As the two women approached, it became evident that they were about 21, our age. They asked if he was tripping, and offered to help talk him down.
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<br>
The two girls (whose names I don't even remember, we'll call them Y and Z), A and I ventured into the backyard to retrieve R. At this point, he was completely naked, running around screaming that he was going to die. We fought him back into the house and this girl started trying to talk him down. He was still screaming that he was going to die so we decided it was time to try and take him to the basement again. We got him down there, and he was sitting between one of the girls and me. I had him locked in a half-nelson, my arm locked up in his shoulders, so that he wouldn't get away, but as soon as he started to relax, I loosened my grip. As I loosened my grip, R tried to get off the couch and run. I punched him as hard as I could in the middle of the face; he barely flinched. This was the first time I had ever punched anyone in the face... but I can honestly say that I was hoping I'd knock him out with that punch. In retrospect, this all seems so messed up, getting violent with a good friend but it reveals the desperate nature of the situation. A, B, and I were all really high and drunk and after three hours of dealing with this crazy kid, we were reaching our limits.
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We didn't know what to do... dropping R off at his house would have been ruthless - his parents surely wouldn't have understood... bringing him to the hospital seemed unnecessary because he seemed physically normal aside from an elevated pulse... but we all figured we'd end up in jail if he kept yelling. We decided to just wait it out; at this point he had been tripping for six hours so it couldn't last too much longer. The next three hours were bizarre. We all watched R, lying naked on this girl who was trying to talk him down. He did some super weird stuff like trying to hump the girl. He foamed at the mouth for three hours, urinated all over himself, and kept repeating bizarre phrases while playing with his genitals the whole time. He didn't look human at all... therehe wasn't R behind histhose eyes, just a blank confused stare.
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<br>
As the sun began to rise, R had become very quiet. Perhaps he had just exhausted himself, but the important thisthing was that he had stopped yelling. He continued to mumble weird stuff and couldn't communicate with any of us. Eventually, a sober driver showed up to take R to our friend’s apartment. We argued for a while about who would do the honors and put on his underwear so we could drive him around, then we carried him upstairs while he fought us. We stood him up at the front door of the house and attempted to dress him, but he fought his clothes off. He was standing, but he wouldn't move so we pushed him across the driveway and into the car. We drove about 10 mins to our friend’s apartment, pushed him into the apartment, and got him into a bed. We sat back and smoked a bowl, relieved at having finally ending the night. Just five minutes after going to bed, R emerged from the bedroom completely normal. He didn't remember anything about the night... he vaguely remembered us pushing him into the car and he remembered the girl's face on a turtles body, but he thought he was asleep the whole time. He smoked a bowl with us; we went out for a big greasy breakfast and passed out.
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<br>
This was one of the most bizarre nights of my life; yet, I think that lots of good will come from it. I have discovered that most of what I learned about drugs from school and the media was full of misconceptions and bias. This discovery has perhaps made me skeptical of any negative effects of drugs. Before this experience, I thought that only people that were really weird to begin with tweaked out on acid. I figured that if I had a bad trip myself or was involved with a friend that was having a bad trip, I could deal with it easily. Seeing my friend turn from a normal kid into what resembled a maniac mental patient gave me a lot of respect for the power of LSD. First of all, I decided that while drinking on acid had become common it is a big mistake because lowered inhibitions don't mix well with ego loss and hallucination. Second, I now believe in babysitters - a concept that I used to find absurd for relatively low dose trips. Third of all, for all of you who like myself, think that they can control the mind-bending of acid, think of your friends because you never know if they can. Monitor the people you're tripping with and look for signs that they might be loosing it, maybe you can stop it before it turns into the fiasco that I dealt with. Believe me, you don't want to be put in a situation where you feel that you have to try and punch out your helpless friend.
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<br>
A little side note... I have seen people having bad trips before and they looked nothing like my friend. R seemed inhuman, repeating weird stuff and fighting us; I really wasn't prepared for this - when I hear him say 'exactly', scenes from the night pop into my head. I have a little theory about R... I think he may have had a six-hour seizure (I dunno if this is even possible.) The last thing he remembers was mentally playing with the sounds of the music in his head, making them start and stop. I suppose this could have triggered some sort of brain wave disruption and a seizure - oh yeah, he was having convulsions for a while too... My theory is that going to bed for a couple of minutes in a dark room removed all stimuli and his seizure ended. Anyways, I’m not a doctor, just some ideas but I’d appreciate input from anybody else that has dealt with a similar situation.
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All of you, enjoy your drugs, respect your drugs, respect yourself, and always make sure you're equipped to deal with the worst possible situation.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2001</td><td width="90">ExpID: 6150</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 15, 2002</td><td>Views: 39,828</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=6150&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=6150&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Salvia divinorum (44) : Second Hand Report (42), Combinations (3), Guides / Sitters (39), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
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<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">105 lb</td>
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I am writing this report after reading one by <a href="http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php3?ID=796">Dave</a>, who described the same problems that I am having. Continuing long after last having taken acid there is this feeling of weirdness or 'the confusion'. Anyone else who can affirm this happening should submit a report as it is a very interesting side effect.
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Firstly, the curious thing about Dave's experience and my own are our ages. He writes that he is 15. I am 14. Maybe this has something to do with the haziness that's been affecting us and maybe not.
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Now for some background. Over the course of the past month and a half I have taken a total of 12 hits of acid. This has been an incredibly beneficial experience, bringing out amazing amounts of insight and a very definite motivation to become the most successful person I can be. Acid has played an important role in the course of my life.
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Now on to the side effect Dave and I have experienced. Ever since dosing, I have felt like there is a haziness to my perception of the world. Things seem different and confusing. Nothing makes any sense, even if I have found an answer and I know it is correct. When everything is explained perfectly, rationally I know that it makes sense, but I still don't understand. It is really hard to put this into words. Imagine the way that it feels when you are trying to figure out if there is a god (bad example, I know). No matter what you believe, even if you are sure you're right, it seems like there must be a deeper meaning to what you've discovered.
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I'll try to give a more rational example. Quite frequently I will think to myself, 'How did I get here? Why am I lucky enough to have realized that I can shape my life at such a young age?', to which the answer is 'You simply are. Whether it's random chance, or if you have a purpose, this is how it's happening.'
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Alright, sure. The problem is that this answer only leaves me wondering 'Why?' even more. Ever since I've taken acid (all 12 hits were done in the space of 3 weeks), NOTHING makes any sense. Everything seems to have a deeper meaning that won't show itself. Rational answers leave me absolutely baffled.
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I feel disoriented. I have no way to place myself and no perspective. Proportions seem bizarre and I feel simultaneously insignificant and completely empowered (let me remind you this is under the influence of no drugs and I haven't dosed in several weeks). Objects won't just 'be'. When looking at a vending machine earlier, it was completely unbelievable to me that it existed. Why does it exist? How does it exist? Well, someone invented it of course. Why did someone invent it? To make money. How is it possible that someone invented it? And so on and so on. My brain absolutely will not stop having questions and I can never feel settled on an answer.
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OK, finally words are coming to me to summarize it. Everything, no matter what it is, seems to have a deeper meaning. No matter how far I analyze it, I still can't figure out why anything is the way it is. I feel infinitely curious. Answers are never satisfying anymore. (if I've been rambling these past few paragraphs maybe you'll understand how my thoughts keep tumbling over each other)
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At this point, I'm not certain what recommendation to make about LSD. On the one hand, it has led me to completely reforming the way that I am and my life will be a much happier one because of it. On the other hand, this permanent lack of understanding is driving me absolutely insane. The possibility of it being an underlying schizophrenia brought out by the acid (my family has a history of psychosis) absolutely scares the hell out of me.
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What makes me satisfied with my decision to take it is this: If I had not done acid I would still be stuck in another type of haze -- not feeling in control of my life. Like so many other kids my age I was drifting aimlessly down the path of normalcy. Now I have taken first place in one of the largest debate tournaments in my state, have pulled up my grades, and am looking forward to my sophomore year. I will definetely continue to do acid, even if the consequence is this always-unsettled feeling.
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Hope this was helpful... It's important to document underage use of LSD, as there is currently very little on the subject. I encourage any other kids my age to submit their storys. Thank you to the Erowid team for making this site possible. Now I know I'm not alone in this problem.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2001</td><td width="90">ExpID: 6252</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 18, 2002</td><td>Views: 17,058</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=6252&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=6252&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Not Applicable (38), Post Trip Problems (8), Retrospective / Summary (11)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
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I had always heard people say that LSD often times leads to life changing experiences or profound prophecies, but I never believed them. I was one of those 'hey dude lets take acid for some cool visuals' kind of tripper. I would take as many hits as I was dared to just because I thought I was the king of LSD. All of this changed, however, when I had a true LSD experience.
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I was thrilled when my girlfriend came home with a vial one Tuesday. Even though I had classes the next day I was eager to try out the new stuff. I took pride in the fact that I was always the guinea pig, for the first trip out of the vial was always free. After she distributed all of the liquid onto sweet tarts, I took 4 of them plus the extra half hit that was in the vile. My friend who had never tripped before took two hits, and we waited like we were little boys eager to find the toy in our Happy Meals. I told him him not to ever panic, that it was only a drug. Irony, however, would bite me on the ass in the end.
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The first four hours of the trip were very normal. When it kicked in, I turned on some Aphrodite and danced to satisfy my increasing energy. The visuals kicked in very soon and I took my friend to the woods for a hike. I knew this was some good stuff and my journey had officially begun. We had a lot of fun and upon returning 5 hours later I was drained (I was still tripping very hard at this point). This is where the unexplainable happens.
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For some reason, before we even stepped foot into the apartment, I wanted to see my girlfriend really bad. I felt a strong emotional attachment like I had never felt before. It was like I loved her more than ever. When I finally got inside she was off to bed (she didn't trip) and I followed her even though I was still very much out of it. When I got into bed and shut the lights out, my life would forever be changed.
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I immediately had an out of body experience. It was as though I was dead and I was watching myself screw up in life through these unusual 'scenes'. I literally saw myself partying and failing out of school. I also saw myself not paying much attention to my girlfriend which would lead to a break up. I saw myself taking the wrong paths but I couldn't tell myself I was taking it. I screamed and yelled, but 'he' kept on going anyway. All at once I realized that I was 'he', and that I did have control of my life. I came to a realization that these prophecies could come true if I didn't change.
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I got out of bed to go and talk with my friend to see if anything unordinary had happened to him. Right when I got to his place, however, I suddenly became fearful. I couldn't say an intelligent sentence if my life depended in on it. I felt as though I was on the brink of insanity. Had I taken too many drugs and now my brain was fucked up? Was it too late to change my life for the better? Was I doomed? Ironically, my rookie friend talked me out of my fears. Acid had put me in my place. 'It' grabbed my ego from deep within my soul and threw it away forever. I realized I never had control of acid, rather it had control of me.
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Although some would say I had a 'bad trip', I look at it as the best trip of my life. My GPA drastically improved in one semester and my girlfriend and I are happier than ever. I also realized LSD probably isn't good to do every week, but doing it every once in a while is good to gain some insight into your life. You just have to be open to what you learn.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2001</td><td width="90">ExpID: 6935</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 1, 2002</td><td>Views: 18,324</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=6935&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=6935&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Mystical Experiences (9)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.25 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">155 lb</td>
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</table>
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I have always taken an interest into exploring the many facets of human consiousness, so naturally when I came upon the opportunity to experience LSD in a safe and controlled environment, I took advantage of it. Seeing as how my only prior drug experiences were with marijuana, I decided to take what I thought were necessary precautions to prepare myself for the trip. A few days before, a friend and I, who was also going to trip for the first time, conducted some research on Erowid to gain an unbiased perspective towards LSD. We both knew the power of this psychoactive, and decided to take a low dose, so as not to induce any negative occurences. We had also decided to abstain from marijuana until we had ingested the LSD.
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<br>
Anticipation ran high as we met up with two other trusted friends early in the morning on the day of the experience. My friend and I were the only ones who would trip that day. We all sat in the basement in a circle, then we proceeded to ingest half a tab of LSD. Approximately 15 minutes had passed, and we all decided to smoke a bit of marijuana; apparently it is supposed to quicken the onset of LSD, but I remained skeptical. A game of chess had started between two of us, and I watched intently. I shall attempt to spare some of the minor details from now on, as quite a bit time had passed before I noticed anything significant.
<br>
<br>
Nearly 1 hour had passed since the ingestion, and my friend and I concluded that 'something' within us was different, yet we couldn't put our finger on it. It was reccommended that we ingest another quarter tab, and so we both did. I could feel this strage feeling escalating, as if I were riding upon a roller coaster at very slow speed. I mostly figured that this was growing excitement, but I was unsure. Nearly 2 hours had passed, and the trip had commenced. I stared at one of my non-tripping friends, and could start to make out a purplish aura surrounding his body. I then shifted my glance towards another of my friends, and a smaller, less pronounced aura could be seen encircling him. It was at this point that I knew I was under the influence. I felt awestruck and exclaimed my visions to everyone with excitement. My mind was clear, my rational and logical thought was still intact, and I came to the early conclusion that LSD was not as powerful as I had thought.
<br>
<br>
Unknown amounts of time had passed; I was feeling quite pleasant, despite the bizarre undulating feelings within my stomach. I felt very connected to my friends, yet somewhat isolated at the same time. I knew that I was on my own with this substance, and only I could guide myself through it. It was at this point when my friend suggested that both of us trippers concentrate on something around the room; visions on LSD have to be induced according to him. My tripping friend and I, who was also feeling the effects of the drug by now, proceeded to lay down and gaze toward the stucco ceiling. I regard this vision as the most significant event in my trip. Before I could utter the words 'Nothing is happening', the ceiling appeared to be shifting, cascading over my head. This was an amazing sight, and I felt like the most privilaged person in the world. It reminded me of a waterfall, and soon enough, waterlike textures could be seen upon the ceiling.
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Just then, it hit me; I felt as if I had 'figured out' the workings of LSD. I was under the impression that visions had to be mentally induced; that the user simply does not 'see things'. LSD is a very intellectual drug; in my opinion, the more imaginative and cultured the user is, the more profound the experience will be. Continuing on, I was still staring at the ceiling, and some Pink Floyd was put on, perfect music for the occasion. I used my imagination in conjuction with the music to produce a sunset background upon the ceiling, then I could see what I thought were thousands of birds superimposed upon the sunset image, all flapping rhythmically with the music.
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<br>
This was just so profound, I had ceased all movement and talking for an unknown amount of time, my tripping friend was doing the same. I was snapped back into 'reality' when my non-tripping friend asked us if we needed anything to drink. It felt like quite some time before I tore myself away from the vision; I could have spent my entire trip gazing upward to the ceiling.
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<br>
I was unaware of how far into the trip I was at this point, time seems to mean very little. We all position ourselves in front of the television, and one of my non-tripping friends asks us if we wish to watch the Fantasia DVD. We all agree, and the disc is played. He proposes that we not talk throughout the show, that we experience this video on our own. To shorten this up, the Fantasia DVD was incredible. Never before have I openly cried during any sort of movie. I was very enthralled by it all; various emotions kept springing up at different times during the movie; exitement, sadness, longing, isolation, fear. Sometimes it was as if I was feeling more than one emotion at a time. I concluded that one's emotions are very unstable on LSD, and one must be very sound of mind so as to control this.
<br>
<br>
These were the highlights of my trip, which did not even occupy half of the total time I was under the influence. My tripping friend and I left the house during the afternoon, and slept over at another friends house for the night in order to be completely baseline when we returned to our homes. The trip was definately tapering off after we left in the afernoon, but we were still considerably altered. I did not have any more visuals after this point, and my friend and I became very tired and lazy during the final portion of our experience. Getting to sleep was very difficult for me; nearly totaling 3 hours before I could finally overcome the effects of the drug. My entire trip was estimated at 15 hours, however the comedown occupies a lot of this time. I do not think that the marijuana altered the trip very much, nor did it encourage the onset of the LSD. It may have, however, lessened the effects of the undulating feeling within my stomach, which accompanied me throughout the experience, but was fairly insignificant for the most part.
<br>
<br>
LSD is an incredible substance, in my opinion. I never had one negative occurence, and recovered quite safely from the experience after a couple of good nights sleep. I must say that I underestimated LSD earlier on into my trip. I was unaware of how gradual the intensity was. It is very mind altering, and I can see how easily it can be misused. However, when used properly, and with very good friends that understand you and the drug you are taking, I believe LSD can be used as a tool; helping one to delve into the outer reaches of human consiousness. I feel there is still much to be learned from psychoactives such as LSD; hopefully further study will unlock the mysteries associated with these substances, and mankind will take a different stand upon the usage of these gifts.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2002</td><td width="90">ExpID: 15505</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jul 2, 2002</td><td>Views: 30,852</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=15505&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=15505&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">130 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Im telling this story of my last experience on acid to warn other users (particularly new users) about the effects of this drug.
<br>
<br>
I was with my future boyfriend and our mutual best friend when i bought 2 tabs of acid off a guy who I had scored off before. He said they were double dipped and more potent. I looked at them and said 'what the hell.' I had only taken acid twice before and each time had only ingested half a tab, so my decision to take two was a BIG mistake. I swallowed them and then we went to this park we always went to and parked to listened to tunes in the car. After about half an hour I was starting to feel the effects and was feeling pretty good. Then my jerk-off friend (knowing Im phobic about spiders) ran his hands up my arm like a spider and told me that a big spider was racing up my arm. I screamed and started to cry hysterically. I jumped out of the car screaming and then I noticed a cop across the street giving a guy a ticket and that sent me further into the abyss. My friends put me back in the car and said we were going to go driving to get away from the cop and calm me down.
<br>
<br>
At this point I was out of my mind. I was fluctuating between hysterical crying and laughing. I could not control my emotions at all. As we were driving, the oncoming cars started to look very menacing. The grills became mouths with very sharp teeth and looked like they would eat me. We pulled over and I found a shard of glass and I refused to put it down believing it was somehow a link to reality. I was sure I was going insane. I was still crying and screaming and my boyfriend had to go to a guitar lesson and left me in the car with our friend. We were in the parking lot and he was talking to me trying to take my mind off my trip. For about 20 minutes it was working, but then his head turned into a big rat and I, again, lost it. For about 7 hours I was in that state of hysterics, sure I was dying or going to become insane.
<br>
<br>
When I finally did come down I was emotionally exhausted and my voice had blown out. I have never been so frightened before in my life and have not touched it since. I now suffer from a panic disorder. It causes long lasting panic attacks that mimic my trip in many ways. I, and my therapist, belive my acid trip caused this. Well, not caused but uncovered it. I wish every day that I had not taken that drug, as it was so traumatic that I now have this disorder and also other psychological symptoms that I did not have before my experience. I am not stating that LSD caused my problems in any way, just was the traumatic experience that unleashed a preexisting condition. However, my problem could have lied dormant and never surfaced at all if I had not indulged in this drug use.
<br>
<br>
I strongly urge that this drug not be taken, but if you choose to:
<br>
1) take with TRUSTED friends
<br>
2) ask people who have used it about what to expect
<br>
3) start with a low dosage<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1999</td><td width="90">ExpID: 15477</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 25, 2002</td><td>Views: 30,260</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=15477&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=15477&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Post Trip Problems (8), Health Problems (27), Bad Trips (6)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gel tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 cig.</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">175 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Background:
<br>
<br>
A few weeks before this experience we had procured some LSD from the same source and I had an incredibly visual experience on 1.5 geltabs. Thus convinced, we pooled some money and bought a sheet. The weekend before this experience I ate 2 tabs, spaced apart during an afternoon of relaxing and drinking beer, and while this made for an enjoyable experience it was hard to compare the effects to the previous weekend due to my alcohol intoxication. Assumedly the sheet we bought was the same quality as the original few hits.
<br>
<br>
Setting:
<br>
<br>
Tuesday afternoon at a friend's house. Three of us were present we'll go by X, Y and Z. Myself, X, have experimented with a variety of psychedelics over the last few years. Y just recently tried acid for the first time and has not really experimented beyond it, he was providing the house to trip at. Z has used DXM on one occasion but is a virgin to acid. X and Y got off work early (4 PM) and Z had the day off already. The location is comfortable for us all as we've partied and crashed there many times before.
<br>
<br>
The experience:
<br>
<br>
We all eat at around 4:30 PM. I eat 3 tabs since I'm worried about possible tolerance from 3 days before, Y and Z both eat 1 and a half. We all drank a few beers during the course of the evening. Note that I did include Alcohol as a substance, but based on the quantity versus time ratio of consumption I don't believe it played a significant role in the experience.
<br>
<br>
[T + 1:00] - It took us all about an hour to come up. Z reports that he's feeling very tense, not really enjoying it.
<br>
<br>
[T + 1:30] - It takes him about 30 more minutes for the visuals to come on full force at which point Z states that the tension is still there, but he no longer cares, he's having a good time. Y states that this is better acid than he'd had previously and he's getting good visuals. I on the other hand am slightly disappointed; upon relaxing I get a lot of movement from my periphery, but it never really invades the center of my vision like I was expecting.
<br>
<br>
The trip progresses as they should, peaking for a while and slowly coming down. Since my personal experience on this occasion was rather dull, I'll direct the reader to find another trip report if they're interested in the basics of an acid trip. There was however one interesting occurrence; a young girl came door to door selling candies as a fundraising effort to combat gangs and drugs! Of course we bought some.
<br>
<br>
[T + 7:00] - This is where my night got interesting. Y and Z had both come down quite a bit, we were sitting outside drinking beer and enjoying the residuals. I suddenly decided that a joint would be nice, I'd heard that pot and acid is a fun combination and thought I may as well try it since the night had been otherwise uneventful.
<br>
<br>
As background, I am not much of a marijuana smoker. I do very rarely and don't consider it much fun as a recreational drug. In fact, I truly hate being stoned around people and generally only smoke when I can throw on some headphones and descend into my own little world of music. Back to the story.
<br>
<br>
Y had some weed on hand, so I rolled us a joint. Myself and Y both smoked, Z abstained. I smoked most of the joint and was quite high, I think Y only smoked enough to relax a bit. Back outside we sat down and I was trying very hard to converse coherently (the reason I don't like being stoned around people) when I suddenly realized that there were rather intense lines crisscrossing my field of vision. Upon closing my eyes I was blasted into a world of awesome CEVs. Fractal patterns in hues of red, blue, green and yellow filled my mind and melted and morphed into bubbles, honeycombs, grids, wavy lines, on and on. At some points the figures themselves were multicolor and repeated infinitely, other times a repetitive image overlaid a rainbow like background that slowly waved and twisted. All in all this must be the most incredible CEV experience I've had, and I would recommend it to anyone.
<br>
<br>
I tried to share what I was seeing with my friends, but (as it is now) describing it in words came nowhere near the intensity of experiencing it. I used a few phrases such as 'rainbow Easter eggs', 'multicolored checkerboard', 'transparent fractal lava' and 'technicolor plaid' but none did it justice.
<br>
<br>
Eventually Z decided he wanted to see what I was seeing, so we rolled a joint, both he and I smoked it, but he never saw anything like I did (also he didn't seem to have any trouble communicating his disappointment, making me believe that he had smoked much less than I)
<br>
<br>
[T + 8:30] - Still intense, the conversation was boring compared to closing my eyes and watching the light show, so I went inside and lay down on the couch to listen to the music and quietly hallucinate on my own.
<br>
<br>
[T + 9:30] - At some point I had fallen asleep and awoke as Z prodded me, the visuals were quite decreased and I rode home feeling slightly stoned and very tired.
<br>
<br>
Thoughts:
<br>
<br>
I highly recommend this and will always keep a stash of pot around for future acid tripping. It would have been an altogether wonderful experience if I'd been able to enjoy several hours of exciting OEVs and after the peak, smoked a joint and enjoyed a few more hours and intense CEVs. I imagine it's also quite enjoyable to smoke while peaking and watch the CEVs overlay the OEVs, and I intend to try this approach soon as well.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2001</td><td width="90">ExpID: 7036</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 26, 2002</td><td>Views: 12,897</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=7036&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=7036&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 3:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I wrote down a theory and then when through an extraordinary experience. The whole thing is detailed in a 42 page thesis titled Psychoactive Dreams With the Philosopher's Stone. It is the first in a series of essays I am currently working. All of my work is freely available at <a href="http://individual.utoronto.ca/ajm/">http://individual.utoronto.ca/ajm/</a>.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2002</td><td width="90">ExpID: 19413</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 5, 2002</td><td>Views: 17,093</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=19413&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=19413&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Mystical Experiences (9), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">19 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/5meo_dipt/">5-MeO-DiPT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">165 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Right before NYE 2k3 LSD came into town for the first time in nearly two years. The market got flooded with three different type of blotter paper and the rave scene and everything else was frying hard. I managed to get my hands on a few hits and for myself and as did some of my friends. So about three weeks ago we all went over to one persons house and decided we were going to fry, after all it had been a few years and frying at parties had lost its luster. So I took my hits of LSD around 11 PM and then about an hour later was feeling some mild effects, (not what I had expected) other people were frying pretty good so my friend offered to break out some 5-MEO-DiPT and everyone said sure. My friend gave me a dose of 19 MG's (I took that orally) and within about five minutes I was frying hard (I do not think the 5-MEO could have absorbed through the lining of my stomach that quickly): Long story short I felt like I was on a candy flip all night long, (Rolling on Extasy and LSD both at the same time).
<br>
<br>
I experienced some of the most intense hallucinations that I have had in a great many years as well as heard very strange auditory hallucinations in which peoples voices were fluxuating with the melting and changing of their physical form. It was very clear to me that what was on was far more than just the LSD. I also had nothing on my mind except for sex and an extreme want to get off. As far as side effects I did have the often spoken about diarreah but I found it to be nothing worse than the diareah that I get from tripping on Mushrooms. I simply feel like hallucinogens help rid my body of caffeine and other such impurities that I put into my body for I have found that the less bad things I intake before doing mushrooms the less severe the diarreah and cramping are.
<br>
<br>
After this night I went home at 10 AM and could not get the trip to go away so I decided to take an anti Psychotic that my friend gave me and laid down and was sleeping within fifteen minutes.
<br>
<br>
That night/day I had the most horrific dream I have ever had and the strange thing about this situation is that they have not stopped in that three week period that has followed. Everything from being shot with a gun by Jesus standing in a robe and slippers and him telling me stories of how when he was a kid he would mess with other kids and make them blind or various other things for pissing him off, to going to a backstreet boys concert with my entire family including my grandparents and having a strange man come up from behind me and strangle me while no one notices and then my parents inviting him back to our house for dinner and not understanding why im upset, to actually downing a half vial of LSD and running around my dream having a bad trip. as well as having a dream in whch i fell asleep and 'Woke up' in the middle of an already happening dream in which I had no idea as to where I was or why I was there am being punched in the face by my best friend and he says Come on we are fighting and i say okay, and he hits me again and I have two teeth knocked out and they are both canine teeth. The list goes on as the above dramas clearly do not cover the span of three weeks.
<br>
<br>
I guess what I am wondering is this, is it possible that the designer drug 5-MEO-DiPT has somehow done something to my brain to fuck it up so that I might not ever be able to have a peaceful night's rest again?
<br>
<br>
I have spoken to others who say that they have had equally intense dreams either while directly on or shortly after doing 5-MEO-DiPT but never having it expand anything neyond a day.. maybe two.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 21018</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 4, 2003</td><td>Views: 14,716</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=21018&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=21018&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), 5-MeO-DiPT (57) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Post Trip Problems (8), Combinations (3), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">9 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gel tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">180 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I am a friend of the person who was in this particular experience. He has told me exactly what to write, and I will write from his 1st person perspective.
<br>
<br>
This story takes place in Atlanta. I am 18 years old.
<br>
<br>
I had done LSD several times before this occurance. Each time had been the most pleasing of experiences, I had ventured through my thoughts and each time come out happily, seemingly on top of the world. Little did I know, my next trip would not be so beautiful...
<br>
<br>
It was a Friday night. That week at school I had done poorly on a couple of tests and when my parents found out they gave me hell. They called me stupid and threatened to send me to military school, you know, all the shit. I had also been having problems with my girlfriend. She found out that I had been doing drugs(I had not informed her, as she was not particularly fond of them). I tried to reason with her, but she would not have it. Our relationship continued to deteriorate until finally we broke up on the Thursday prior.
<br>
<br>
Well back to Friday night, I obviously had not been feeling too happy, so I decided to meet up with a few friends as a sort of pick-me-up. I met three of my friends at the movie theater, and one of them told me they had scored some LSD. One of the main rules of tripping is to always think good thoughts and be happy prior to your trip. This was where I made my mistake. I was incredibly depressed, but I decided to just fuck it and down 9 gel tabs. Ohhh shit why...My friends also had some, I am not sure how much.
<br>
<br>
We decided to go out to my friends car before the movie and smoke a few bowls. I had four. We then proceeded to see 'The Ring', FUCKING HUGE MISTAKE. GOD DAMMIT I was a retard for seeing that damn movie while tripping. Everything started out normal before the movie started. I was watching previews and the colors on the screen swirled and twisted in shape. They were so beautiful. I was sure this was going to be a pleasant trip, I would be brought out of my depression. Haha, wow was I fucking wrong...
<br>
<br>
So the movie started, and immediately I am transported to a world of fear and horror. If you have seen the ring, then you know the part where you see the girl in the closet, and her horribly contorted face. When I saw that, my friends and I completely lost it. We sprinted out of the theater screaming. I am pretty sure I was crying. I had never seen anything scarier in my life, but becasue I was tripping, I kept seeing the image over, and over again, as if the girl was right next to me. We luckily spotted another one of our friends (he was sober tonight). We told him what was going on and he was nice enough to drive us to my friends house, as we were obviously incapable. I looked out the window and I saw shadows instantly twist shape and turn into perverse faced demons. One shadow looked like fingers, and it turned into an arm that reached out and attempted to grab me and pull me down to hell. This arm had a voice. A deep, mysterious, terrifying voice, almost like the one of Indred Cold from The Mothman Prophecies. I pissed my pants I was so scared. We finally arrived home.
<br>
<br>
I felt as if this feeling would never go away as we walked into my friends basement. It was extremely dark down there, and in the corner of my eye, I kept seeing a terrifying, demented, evil face staring its deranged, menacing eyes into my eyes. My friends had kind of cooled down, but not me. We decided to smoke some more bowls to lift our moods. When it was my turn, I lit the zippo and I saw the flame, twisting twirling right in front of me. I was perplexed by it, I had never seen anything more interesting in my life. But out of nowhere, all the sudden the flame just exploded in my eyes and was the length of the room. I then saw dark figures crawling out of the flame, obviously coming to take me away. I sat there, quivering in fear. My hands were shaking so hard that I dropped the zippo and it fell on my leg. I sat there and saw it burning a hole through my pants and burning my leg, but I could not feel it.
<br>
<br>
Luckily, my friend noticed what was going on and knocked the zippo off my leg and my other friend picked it up and started to stare at it in pleasureful wonder. I wished I could feel that way. I started to cry, just all out cry. Why were my friends so much better off than me? Why the fuck does God hate me? I then started to scream, just scream my lungs out. My friend came over and pulled his hand back and slapped me vigorously across the face. I watched the motion of his hand and it seemed like 50 hands were coming across and slapping me, one by one. I had to retaliate. I took the lamp off the table next to me and threw it at his head. The glass lamp shattered across his face and he slumped to the floor. The light had singed his hair and his face was dripping with blood. It made me happy to see him in pain, to see somebody else going through the same thing I was. My two other friends weren't even watching as I got on top of my nearly unconcious friend and started beating him senseless with anything I could find.
<br>
<br>
Thankfully, his parents sprinted down the basement stairs and saw what was happening. They stopped me from potentially and unknowingly killing my friend. My two other friends had know idea what was going on because they were over in the other corners of the dark room tripping hard. The boys parents flicked on the lights and I was blinded by the light. I jumped off the boy and started to sprint out the door, where I jumped through a window thinking I was a hawk. Of course, we were in the basement, so I luckily just landed on the ground in front of me. The boy's parents called 911.
<br>
<br>
All of us were taken to the hospital, we had mostly come down from the trip by now. My friend was lying unconcious, barely alive, I had just now realized what I had done. I just had a broken left arm and some deep cuts from jumping through the window, but nothing like my friends wounds. The rest of us were taken to the police station for questioning. I admitted to ingesting the LSD but not to beating my friend. My friends admitted to nothing and wound up getting out scot free, fuckers...
<br>
<br>
But I was charged with assault and battering, and I had some geltabs in my pocket, so they charged me with drug possession too. I have been charged as an adult, so I am currently in jail, my friend visited me and took down this story. I am going to court soon, where they will ultimately find me out, they already told me they know I'm guilty, I have no case. I am fucked, royally fucked. I am still suffering from psycological trauma. LSD has taken my life down the tubes, but its really my own fault. I hope, somehow, I get the death sentence, because death would be better than this lifestyle.
<br>
<br>
The moral of the story is, don't fuck up. Don't trip when you are depressed and always trip with somebody sober. I didn't listen to the advice I read on the net, and now look at me...please, give me your prayers.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2002</td><td width="90">ExpID: 20041</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Mar 9, 2003</td><td>Views: 46,948</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=20041&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=20041&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Police / Customs (60), LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Second Hand Report (42), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Bad Trips (6)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This was my second time trying acid and I must say it was not too much different than the first. The first time i tried acid i bought what was supposed to be 'real strong acid' and it was 2 hits dropped on a sugar cube. Since it was my first time, i decided to have a sober sitter stay the night at my house. I dropped the acid and i had high expectations of the trip. About 30 minutes after dropping, I look in the mirror to see my pupils are as big as pennies, so I was like 'wow, im gonna trip balls'. This however was not the case. After about 2 hours, nothing seemed to happen at all, and i was slightly confused becuase my friend bought some from the same guy with me and he said that he tripped like crazy. After 4 hours, i began to feel tired and i gave up and I knew that all i had bought was just something that made my pupils big. I was dissapointed.
<br>
<br>
About a month later, some other friends of mine who get their acid from a completely different source asked me if I wanted to get some. They had gone on camping 'trips' numerous times and told me how much fun it was. I told them that last time i got acid that it was fake, and they reassured me that what they got was 'VERY REAL'. So i bought 2 sugar cubes with one hit of acid dropped on each. Since i had nothing to do after work on the sunday i bought them, i decided to trip when i got home from work. I didnt have a sitter this time, and i was actually kind of skeptical becuase of the last time i got it. But they said it would work for sure. I dropped one cube at about 10 PM. I called a friend who talked to me till about 5 in the morning. By 12 in the morning, nothing seemed to be happening (although my pupils were large), so i decided to wait a little while longer before i took the other one.
<br>
<br>
About at 1:15 i dropped the other cube, knowing that it wouldnt work. My pupils became a little larger than before, and then i thought maybe it would work. My stomach started to feel a little wierd, and my friend on the phone told me it would work. Well i stayed up till 5 in the morning and not a damn thing happened. I was pissed because my friends said they took 2 cubes from the same batch and they tripped nuts. Nothing happened again for me. I will try acid again, i will probably keep trying it until i realize that I am either 1.) psychologically immune to it (i dont know how) or 2.) that Acid is real, it's just hard as hell to find some that works, or 3.) Acid isn't real, and I should just stick to smokin pot and looking for mushrooms. If anyone else has this problem, please post it because i dont think i am alone here.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 22951</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 14, 2003</td><td>Views: 9,072</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=22951&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=22951&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Various (28), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">170 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
About 4-5 months ago I had an acid trip that completely blew my mind. I had stopped at a friends house to say hey, and he asked me if I wanted any doses. I said yeah, and bought his last four. He told me they were really strong and clean, and to be careful.
<br>
<br>
Before I begin, let me give a little background that should make this trip a little clearer to anyone reading. I am 22 and until about eight months ago I was living in a house with four guys, going to school, and doing a lot of drugs. I have always enjoyed psychedellics, but never among many people. I was more interested in exploring myself with close friends, or even by myself. But a couple of weeks before fall semester my girlfriend revealed she was preganant. So I moved back home (30 mins. away) to where she lived and we moved in and began preparing for our child. This meant a big change to my way of life. While I didn't want to abandon my thoughts and beliefs, I realized that certain things had to change. The days of caring about nothing were over, that's how I felt and still do. But it was tough, and I was not willing to completely give up my psychedellic experiences. Well, as it turned out, my mind was stronger than the LSD.
<br>
<br>
Back to the experience. My girlfriend was about four months preganant, and I decided I was going to eat this acid. And while I have no good excuse for doing it, I ate all four hits, with the intention of tripping with myself for the evening. I ate the doses as we were getting in the car to go to the store (figuring I had plenty of time to get to the store and back before anything really happened). Well the store is only maybe 10-15 minutes away, and when we got there I was already tripping (my friend wasn't lying!). I said that we can't stay here, so we left. We had to get gas on the way home, and the whole time at the gas station (maybe t+35) I felt like I was going to explode. So we quickly got home. I felt better, more secure, being at home. But by now (maybe t+1:15) I was tripping harder than any peak i'd ever had. But I was fine, at home and at ease (somewhat).
<br>
<br>
This is where stuff gets out of hand. A day or two before, at work, I had threatened a customer who got out of hand with my girlfriend. They called the cops. They (the cops) came over later that night but I wasn't home, they talked to my girlfriend. So now there was a knock at the door, and all I could think was that it was the cops, they would want to talk (which I couldn't), search the place, find stuff, and my whole world I had been working so hard for would be over. I can't explain the horror I felt. My girlfriend took me in the bedroom and didn't answer the door. I was no longer in reality and couldn't figure out quite what was happening ( turns out it was just a friend coming over to say hey). By the time I got calmed down I was tripping so hard that I didn't really even realize I had eaten acid. I was in another world, I guess.
<br>
<br>
I'm sure that many other have been where, or gone much farther, than I was. But when you reach a point where you are tripping so hard that you feel like you're in reality, and have no conscious thought of taking any mind-altering substance, then you had better have a strong head (which I did not).
<br>
<br>
At this point my good friend called and wondered what was going on, and if I had any greenery. I was so thrilled to hear the voice of a good friend that it was almost orgasmic. I felt as though everyone knew what had happened that night, and we were all on the same level. I said I just wanted him to come over and smoke and hang out, like old times. In the meantime, I managed somehow to put on some Hendrix, and everything became peaceful. Stars were in my living room, and everything had become right. After worrying that someone was at my house, ready to take everything I've worked for, I finally felt peaceful. Thinking back, the crazy thought is that I hadn't even come close to peaking yet, and already so much had been processed.
<br>
<br>
My friend, along with one of his friends, finally arrived and we went to my basement to hang out. It was great, I felt completely connected to everyone, mostly my good friend who I normally feel real close to. But we began to smoke, and reality was no more. I can not even explain what happened for the next hour or two. Too intense. My friends left and I apparently had no idea I was alone. My girlfriend came downstairs at one point to find me dancing around with a bag of grass flying everywhere. I vaguely remember different, weird things.
<br>
<br>
O.K. now, thanks for listening so far, because this is the part of the trip I want, and need, to get out. At some point I came upstairs. I noticed I was drenched in sweat. I knew now that I had eaten acid. I couldn't account for the last hour or two or three. My girlfriend was in bed, and I was by myself. All of a sudden everything went from psychedelic and colorful to a nightmarish black and white. I noticed I was covered in sweat. 'oh my god, what has happened' ( I now realize this was my peak). I couldn't account for any time before right now. Had I 'whigged out'. Was I even in my house. I couldn't tell, and somehow I was aware that I could be imagining everything. Then i really did 'whig out'. I thought that I had gone crazy. I woke my girlfriend up and was screaming for her to get my friend over here, the one who was over earlier, to tie me up. I didn't think I was even in my house anymore. Even though I appeared to be there (warped as it looked), I thought I was in an insane asylum, or was I? Maybe I was just dying. Maybe I was in an asylum, or hospital room, and I was dying. I couldn't tell if I was talking to my girlfriend or what.
<br>
<br>
Listen, to spare many details that I barely understand, I'll just say this. In the end, the end of my trip, I thought I was in some kind of tank strapped down, everyone watching me go insane. I had one last twitch of energy, and then I felt my lungs explode. I just lay there, feeling that I was now dead and I would never see my child, or my girlfriend, both of whom I already cared so much for. But it was almost a calm feeling in the end. I felt it was over. Why struggle? But then I realized I didn't even have any idea or belief as to what the afterlife was. I felt for a while that my mind would live on, but that maybe there was a heaven and hell. I kept thinking I was already in hell, and that my punishment was to relive these last, terrifying phases of my trip forever. I had let down my child and the woman I loved and I couldn't imagine a worse hell than this, but somehow i was calm, everything was somewhat surreal.
<br>
<br>
If you have listened to all of my rambling thus far, I just want to say this to end. I was dead, not physically, but mentally. When I finally came to, and realized my friend did come back (after my girlfriend called him), and that everything would be fine, I was too overwhelmed. I cannot express the magnitude of fear and terror I felt, just after feeling so perfect for a while. I would never want to repeat this again, but now that it is over I wouldn't take it back. I faced all of my fears that night (failing as a father, as a person, as anything) and am still here. I felt I was dead and came to grips with that. Anybody out there who feels like they are superior to psychedellics are wrong. LSD, mushrooms, or any other psychedelic are powerful substances which bring the subconcious to the surface.
<br>
<br>
Even after this event, I feel this is a good thing. But I made two mistakes that night. 1)I took too much, and 2) My subconscious was not stable. Since that night I haved live my life much differently. I now realize that life is beautiful, and I have respect for it. You get one chance. To experience death without being dead is too dramatic for any words I can write. I now live my life to the fullest, and feel like I have a cause. I have a child, and a beautiful woman who I love and loves me, and that is it. I still refuse to give up psychedelics, but I have MUCH, MUCH more respect for them, and understand that they have their time and place. Hopefully, if you are reading this you also take them seriously and realize that they are not a 'way' of life, but a door to let you experience your life in a more complete way, for 'better or for worse'.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2002</td><td width="90">ExpID: 22310</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 22, 2003</td><td>Views: 15,221</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=22310&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=22310&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Bad Trips (6), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">110 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Yet another weekend, yet another sojourn down the lsd-brick road. Again, we have a more introspective experience, but hopefully still interesting to anyone not burdened by the need for sensationalism.
<br>
<br>
The night began in extremely banal circumstances. My fellow trip buddies and I sat around for several hours trying to work out what to do on a Saturday night in a fairly dead city. No idea seemed to satisfy, however, and we had resigned ourselves to a night of boredom. After awhile, though, someone recalled a party that may have been occurring that very night. Through a bit of remotivation we ended up deciding to go. At this point, the thought of acid was not even remotely close to being on the fringe of any of our conciousnesses. We arrive at the party, soft drugs in hand and proceed to smoke ourselves silly in an alienated pocket of the event. The gracious host, however, asked us if we wished for something more substantial and immediately had a vendor on hand to satisfy us. We bought more than our share, so we could maintain an archive, and munched one tab each to attempt to bring the night to life.
<br>
<br>
Nothing that odd happened at the party. Despite, at one point, a baby being brought in the house and left right where we had been smoking cones not minutes before. After awhile we decided to leave and drive back to a place of residence...the problem was, the drugs were already starting to kick in. Our driver undertook a sheer effort of will and managed to get us across the city at a constant 40km/h to where we needed to get. From this point we enshrouded ourselves in warmth and music and let the drugs take hold.
<br>
<br>
Timeframes from this point on are a bit garbled, so i shall relate different segments of the experience individually.
<br>
<br>
The drugs lasted for *ages*. It was an unrelenting trip that just went on and on, but never quite pushed my mind far enough to make me uncomfortable. In fact, quite the opposite, the familiar state of bliss was evident for most of the trip, just the overwhelming feeling of being 'at home'. It's like I was born in a lsd-candy land but can now only afford to take small journies back. When the electric tendrils race up your legs and arms into your brain, I swear acid is better than procreation. Mixing the two is a story for perhaps another time, though, since I didn't quite have that luxury on the eve in question.
<br>
<br>
Most visuals behind closed eyes were quite impressive. Impossible to describe except as high definition multi-coloured structures of patterns. I guess my vocation gives my brain alot of things to work with when things are slightly skew. One day I shall endeavour to draw some of these whilst under the influence, so to provide a much more vivid description. There wasn't very much in the way of open-eyed visuals, except in a couple of small cases as will be explained.
<br>
<br>
One particularly disturbing part of the evening was dealing with an overly affectionate cat. This cat had trouble breathing and thus made strange noises. In semi-darkness with this cat sitting on my lap staring up, it became quite disquieting. From my view, all I saw was a feline shaped object making 'snarling' noises at me. The trouble was the cat was completely harmless, and this I knew, but my brain couldn't communicate this and so I began to get quite skittish of this snarling beast. After having to move the cat to regain composure...it came up again and sat next to me. This time, though, it wasn't an aural illusion that made my uncomfortable, but a visual one. The cat appeared as normal, except as I gazed up its back towards its head, it became narrower and narrower till its head was extremely small compared to the rest of it. The best way to describe it was a furry pyramid with legs and a small head at the tip of the pyramid.
<br>
<br>
Outside in the garden, staring up at the sky, was an almost religious experience. Drifting clouds give the acid-addled imagination almost too much input to play with, especially with a starry backdrop. It was here I could feel many vivid realisations making themselves apparent. They were of quite a personal nature, but as an overview, revolved around people in my life and their positions. I almost called the people in question to tell them, but at 3am and undergoing acidic rigour, I doubted I could make much sense. I don't know whether to trust my instincts under the effects, but the ideas felt so poignant and real that it was very hard to ignore.
<br>
<br>
It was also outside; that the trip hit it's hardest off the evening. This was after several cones, quite late in the evening. I was leaning against a pole and had my eyes closed as the world felt like it was on an angle and I needed to lean on the pole to stay upright. The pole becomes more useful though, as I felt my brain gushing out of my head as multi-coloured soup, the pole was helping me dam the soupy tide and keep my brain in my head.
<br>
<br>
The rest of the evening was sitting in a chair in a darkened room, having my brain wracked by psychedelic assaults and having limited discourse and much laughter with my fellow triphounds. Noteworthy events included dealing with the concept of not being solid entities and trying to eat weird toasted sandwiches. I also made a firm commitment to spend my retirement fucked on drugs. You're gonna go old and senile anyway...may aswell enjoy the process. I reckon with the pension you could afford a couple of bags a week and a tab a day.
<br>
<br>
To sum up...a rocking good trip, but as always, to communicate the specifics is so very hard. Perhaps ill take notes next time. Next time....eheh<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 24594</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 22, 2003</td><td>Views: 11,405</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=24594&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=24594&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 drops</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Wow. Wow. Very crazy, yes. The expectations were nothing, the hope was small, the reality to come was a big surprise...
<br>
<br>
Upon certain times in a person's life, the nature around you takes you in. It envelopes you. It calls to you. Yesterday was one such day. Nature's display of weather was unignorable. The rains to be called down in summertime...and then I recieved a note from a friend with a graphic that truly captivated and inspired me. Let it be, children - let them play. I felt the call, it was strong.
<br>
<br>
To pursure the faint hopes of minimal expectations, while knowing all the while that we're prepared for an exercise in futility, we went through the motions. The empty bottle lay where it was put to rest after the last episode. It was there that I found it. Two swallows of water into the container, followed by a swirl and shake, and off with the top. Again, the expectations were that this would most likely be an exercise in futility, but the hope was there. The bottle was emptied into a glass and I drank one swallow, Rob drank one swallow. Then nothing.
<br>
<br>
Then something.
<br>
<br>
Then everything.
<br>
<br>
'This is a worknight for me.' - I expected to perhaps 'feel' something, or maybe see the stains of motion that the eyes allow. I thought we would have to 'try' and focus to 'gain' anything. To the contrary, there was nothing you could focus on that wasn't 'gaining' on you. Less than one hour after the sip, the squares on the ceiling came together and tore apart, furiously. The water that had rained from the heavens took on it's life, and danced. Everything was broken up, and together.
<br>
<br>
What I expected to be little bike ride through the park became a rollercoaster through the planets. This was a worknight, again. Extremely intense, way too much for a worknight. Alas, I was in for a ride, and held on tight.
<br>
<br>
The Simpsons carried us into a candyland maze of colors and cartoons, and inspired us to create a cartoon of our own, so we did. I had these glowsticks in my car, which I retrieved. There was two greens, a blue, and a red. Oh yeah. Lisa had just finished mopping the kitchen floor and cleaning everything...
<br>
<br>
And we got the scissors out. The glowsticks were parted by a single cut, and exposed. To hold on in your hand above your head like the statue of liberty, only to allow your arm to swing violently, releasing the glowing substance to land on and light up every inanimate object, only to animate it. Rob danced under the rain of color, and it stained him - his hat, his shirt, everything. Yes - 'let your children play'. Let them sing, let them dance, let them REJOICE! And so it was, the entire room glowed. Brilliant red, green, blue stars everywhere. The ceiling, the kitchen, the carpet, the walls, the furniture - and Rob...
<br>
<br>
So there we stand, hovering over a maze of colors and stars like Gods looking down upon a universe. And it was the universe, indeed. We would hover over a particular galaxy, and them shoot to the floor to investigate a particular cluster of stars. The stars would then become everything - clowns, faces, shaped, a fantastic kaleidescopic array of patterns, vibrant with glowing color. And the lights are off the whole time...
<br>
<br>
Needless to say, in REALITY - Lisa was not too pleased. But the children want to play, none the less. Let your children play. And we did. DRIVER 2 is a video game where we crash cars into each other, and crash we did. A burst of laugher not much different than that of young schoolgirls rang out every two minutes from the astronauts. They were bliss, and watched, as everything turned and twisted, through the night.
<br>
<br>
And then it was 2:00AM. The walls told the tale that this was not over, not by a longshot. I gaged the depth of my journey directly by the speed at which the walls allowed themselves to liquify and allow gravity to take hold of them, their appearance, their structure. And melting at a rate of 12 inches per 5 seconds was an indicator of where, in time and space, we were. It was time for the plants to try and bring me home.
<br>
<br>
And so we began to build clouds inside the house. We knew that these clouds would be the only hope of bringing the astronauts closer to the earth, as well as allowing a proper decent, without incineration upon entry into the atmosphere.
<br>
<br>
And success it was. Apollo 13 landed, and two sailors are left at sea, swimming. And so I laid my head to rest, still swimming, hoping that throughout the night, we would find shoreline. God bless the shoreline, huh? Well, in the middle of the night, the swimmers did, finally, swim to shore. With both feet on the ground - I awoke. It was 7:15AM. Rob lay on the couch, eyes closed. I'm sure he made it to shore, too. After all, it was quite clear early in the night that I had traveled a LOT further than he.
<br>
<br>
I closed my eyes again, and Lisa drove to work. I opened my eyes, sat down, and began to type.
<br>
<br>
And I type now. This is my story, this was my dance. The children's soft minds were soaked, and dried. As I look around me today, I feel a greater distance between my fellow man and myself than ever before. My coworkers - they are in place in this universe much different than I. I am further from humanity, and closer to God, or so that is the word I choose to use because it encompasses NATURE, the STARS, and the 5th dimension. People are funny, yes they are. I feel so detached from common man, and closer to the wonders of the world - it's unbelievable. To play...yes, to play.
<br>
<br>
Let your children play.
<br>
<br>
There's something different about us, different from the common man. No, sir. You are uncommon in such common land.
<br>
<br>
Let us play.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2001</td><td width="90">ExpID: 7674</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 24, 2003</td><td>Views: 13,759</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=7674&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=7674&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 drop</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Recently I had an experience with LSD that I will never be able to forget. It is the trip that all others will be compared to...the effects it has had on my view of reality are shattering, and I believe that, although it was a bit jarring at times, it was an invaluable learning experience..
<br>
<br>
First, a few thoughts on psychedelic drugs in general - I believe that everyone needs to experience a reality that is otherwise completely alien to the individual. There is absolutely no way to imagine the effects psychedelic drugs have on the brain without living through it. If we can exist in a completely different dimension for a few hours, we can objectively view 'normal' reality for the first time. It is freedom from the mundane, and it is a world where money, government, oppression, and all the pervasive aspects of the world can dissolve into the background completely and honestly.
<br>
<br>
So now that I'm done preaching, I'll get into the experience. Me and my friend were bored one night, and put 10 dollars down on a bottle of liquor before coming home, with the intention of getting pleasantly inebriated and laughing at the television. Well, this changed when a certain friend showed up with a vial of LSD. Interested in jumping down the psychedelic waterfall, we got our money back on the alcohol and bought a hit for each of us, which was dropped on our tongue. We quickly drove home, wary of drug effects hitting us while I was driving, and started to buzz a little as we arrived at my house. The effects I had experienced many times before had hit my brain, and we spent the next 6 hours or so laughing like idiots, smoking cigarettes and generally having a good time just looking at the curtains and house plants gently swaying in wind that wasn't there. About 7 hours into our trip, we figured the experience was pretty much over, and sat down to watch a movie. We couldn't have been more mistaken. At one instant, my friend was flashing the lights on and off, and I was laughing. The next instant, all hell broke loose in my mind. It was as if the switch that controls my perception of reality was yanked out of my brain. It must have both hit us at the same time, because suddenly my friend wasn't smiling anymore...he had the look that an infant must have on his face the first time he experiences a thunderstorm -fear and wonder. The conversation that took place at this moment will shed some light on our state of mind..
<br>
<br>
Me - Oh my god, I think I'm blacking out..
<br>
Friend - The light.. looks different.
<br>
Me - What happened?
<br>
Friend - I was turning the light on and now it looks different.
<br>
Me - Did we go somewhere?
<br>
Friend - I don't know...everything is different..
<br>
<br>
This kind of quiet mumbling continued for another two or three minutes, until we both sat down on the floor and faced each other solemnly. We were both so incredibly dumbstruck at the feelings that were pervading our minds that we could do nothing but stare at each other with a stupid kind of disbelief. I stretched my arms out and stated that my mind felt as big as the room. I had the very tangible and frightening feeling of melting into the floor and up the wall, and I when I licked my lips, it felt like I was licking someone else's. All of a sudden I got up and started to walk around the house, which was a chore. The walls were groaning and breathing with life, and it was difficult to recognize my family members or even myself in the pictures hanging on the wall. We wandered around my home of 19 years as if it were an alien landscape. I sat down in a chair and attempted to turn the computer monitor on, which I could not. The button was jumping from side to side so quickly that my finger couldn't find it fast enough. I looked at my arm, and it looked extremely distorted.
<br>
<br>
I could see red and blue and green lines pulsating up and down my arm in rhythm with everything else. Eventually I did get the computer on and managed to play a song. I laid on the floor and listened to the music, which seemed to be coming from all directions at once. As I closed my eyes, I felt my body rise off of the floor, and patterns and colors assaulted me. I ended up listening to an Eels song over and over again.. one of the lyrics was 'my skin is melting off, i'm mopping up the sweaty drops..' This drove me nuts, it was fascinating and real.. I felt like I was connected to the earth in a way that I've never been before, as if I was not an individual anymore, but as big as the universe itself, engulfing the room with my mind and body at the same time. For a while I got frightened, I felt like a deer with a rifle pointed at it; helpless and alone in a different dimension. Time didn't exist, and it is difficult to let go of yourself in that way.
<br>
<br>
I went and laid down on my mother's bed, thinking it would be comforting. I curled into a fetal position in the middle of the bed under the sheets, which was incredible. I could imagine what a baby must feel like in the womb. Within moments though, I had the very strong feeling that there were other beings in the room with me, entities about 3 feet tall making strange noises and surrounding the bed. This was frightening and I got up and went into the other room. I spent the next hour staring at the close rack with some pants hanging on it. The clothes were all swaying back and forth with such intensity. It was startling, I never thought one drop of acid could have such a powerful effect. My friend had laid down in my brother's room and was meditating quietly, and I did the same thing. I don't remember the hours after I laid down, but when I came to, the major effects were gone.
<br>
<br>
The next day I could barely talk. I was simply shattered from the experience. As I slowly gained my strength over the course of the morning, I began to realize the blessing that I had experienced; I had a new respect for my life, just *being* had a new meaning for me. As of now, I am exhausted, but I feel good for getting this off of my chest. I haven't had any experiences with LSD after that night, I feel like I've been there and felt the true effects of the drug. Future exploration is likely if I can find a good source, but where I live it is damn near impossible.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2001</td><td width="90">ExpID: 7708</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jul 21, 2003</td><td>Views: 9,927</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=7708&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=7708&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This is just a warning for those of you, especially younger folks ( who may have neuroses at the best of times ) that LSD should not be taken lightly, I enjoyed many a trip were the effects were mild and pleasant - laughing our asses off, and bonding with each other in our clique like never before and aside from the slightly unpleasant 'empty stomach' feeling and your head being scrambled slightly the next day all was well.
<br>
<br>
After about a year or so of occasional use and growing complacency I got a hell of a comeuppance around a month before I turned 18.
<br>
<br>
I was going through a bad spell slacking off at college arguing with my folks and my friends who began to resent me for always moaning and generally putting them on a bummer and getting a really chronic habit for the smoking of strong hash constantly that had me in a warped frame of mind and caused conflict with my parents, also coming up to such an important milestone in my life ( 18th Birthday ) I was growing increasingly anxious that I had yet to have a 'serious' ( you know what I mean ) Girlfriend when all my buddies, some of whom were even 2 years younger than me had, this was due to being naturally shy and lacking in confidence as I had been into Metal and had long hair wore black had a bit of acne etc and most of the girls in my area were preppy types.
<br>
<br>
Anyway all these neuroses had piled up and one night I was in a foul mood my friends had decided I'd become a real asshole and decided to bring me down a peg or two - I took what i thought was a single tab that when I was chewing seemed unusually thick, this later turned out to be four that had been UHU'ed together, at first all was well but the people in the house started using subtle ways of sending me on a bad trip gradually increasing until they were slinging full blown insults that left me violent and shellshocked, and drove me away. The night on my own and in a really bad trip was the worst of my life.
<br>
<br>
For the next six to nine months I was in a world of total isolation and fear that I had become insane. I was paranoid and found links and parallels to my life everywhere I looked. I became an insommniac and binged heavily on alcohol and food. This sounds like a nightmare I know but gradually on my own I began the healing process which I compare to a re-birth, like many tribes have rituals of pain, mysticism, bravery etc for the youth to emerge as a man, I believe this was mine, the teenager that entered into this was selfish, petty, spiteful, deceitful, greedy, insecure around girls, obnoxious, smug and many other bad traits. After about 12 months of sheer hell I began to heal.
<br>
<br>
The moral of this is never underestimate the power and don't automatically think its a cure to all ills. I could quite easily have been in dead through suicide, in prison for commiting a violent act against someone, committed to a mental hospital or simply wandering through life in miserable limbo - instead I am relatively successful, happily married, still enjoy to party with various substances from time to time and consider myself lucky to have gone 'through the rabbit hole' and come out a better person.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1993</td><td width="90">ExpID: 14047</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 1, 2002</td><td>Views: 24,992</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=14047&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=14047&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Post Trip Problems (8), Depression (15), Health Problems (27), Bad Trips (6)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td><a href="/experiences/exp.cgi?A=ShowAuthor&amp;ID=107"><img src="http://www.sangraal.com/images/mirror14a.jpg" alt="author logo" align="right" border="0"></a>
</td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">10 drops</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">160 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I've done a lot of drugs in my life, and i find that the most profound experiences and insights they've given me are the hardest to express. I believe they're even ineffable in a direct sense, though one can hint at them and convey at least some of the intended meaning. This is my attempt to share my most 'profound' drug experience for whatever benefit any readers can glean from it.
<br>
<br>
My best friend P. and I had been doing drugs together for a while, usually acid at varying doses. We learned over past experiences not to enter the trip with a goal, e.g. 'visuals', 'enlightenment', or even 'fun'.
<br>
<br>
We went to a friend's place to get acid. Our friend, C., had a dropper full of lsd, and we each bought 10 hits from it.
<br>
<br>
At 7 pm C. measured out the drops into our palms and we licked it out. The strange metallic taste lingered as it went down but was drowned out by the orange juice we drank to wash down centrum pills. We said our goodbyes and walked out into the city. We were both excited but didn't say anything for a while. The noises of the city were brash but exciting as we sat on the stoop of the apartment building while P. smoked a cigarette. We decided to walk to a coffee shop about half a mile away to chill out and watch all the people. I lost myself in my thoughts along the way, and when my attention shifted outward, my inner dialogue stopped. The lights, people, sounds, and 'vibes' seemed more real than they had ever before. It was as if the same two dimensional cityscape I passed every day had suddenly gone to 3D as it ought to be. A thought shot across my mind - its early, not even 15 minutes yet-
<br>
<br>
I looked at P. His face had become a complex interplay of pinks and whites, and an explosion of perceptions and associations of him flooded my mind. He turned towards me with a depth of sincerity and happiness in his face that people on entheogens, and in zen consciousness tend to have. I was startled that through his face, i simultaneously saw the universe and a total void. We talked for the rest of the walk, though I forgot the gist of it. As we reached the cafe, i pointed out that after only about half an hour I was already higher than at any time in my life, and that we'd be soaring to uncharted heights. The most acid i'd done prior to that was 6 blotter hits and he'd done no more than 4 or 5 at once. P. changed dramatically from innocently open and loving life to stricken with terror. He complained a bit, but I talked him down somewhat. I didn't realize I had a harmonious 'flow' of well-being up to that point until P. disrupted it on the surface level like rain on a pond.
<br>
<br>
I missed the cool night air as soon as I set foot in the cafe. I shot a look at P. And he seemed a bit tense. Ordering drinks was fascinating, above all in that I was acutely aware of all the undercurrents of feeling in the cashier and other customers in line. I desperately wished their silly masks of civility, false confidence, and comfort would be abolished. I walked with P. to the couch, hyper-sensitive to every sensory stimulus as newly shaven skin during sex. We sat and talked for a while about the things we percieved from the place and its patrons. People sat around us, pretending we didn't exist, and the jukebox started playing shitty 90's alternative - it all hit me like lemon juice in a cut. Of one mind, P. and I got up, and left. we talked about how we'd never learned our lesson that city tripping sucks, and went to a park.
<br>
<br>
As we walked to the park, my consciousness 'split'; more strongly than ever before. The 'more real' and 'aware' part was not confined to my body- it spread out, and in dimensions i wasn't aware of. Every detail of every thing held infinity, and vice versa. There was at once a unity to all, and a dichotomy of spirit and substance, almost as 2 sides of a coin. The less aware essence of me was talking with P.'s less aware side about people we know, and the way to get there. P. was becoming fearful, and I was ecstatic - we both felt 'something big' on its way in the near future.
<br>
<br>
We reached the park and lay in the grass on a slope for who knows how long. The usual time distortion I get on trips was stronger than ever. Deep relaxation spread through me in waves as I looked up at the sky through leafless tree branches. Orgasmic isn't quite the word for that feeling. Physically I melted away, and my 'less aware consciousness' melted away too. after that I percieved what I've only percieved a handful of times in my life (with and without drugs).
<br>
<br>
Classifications of this transcendant reality can only vaguely be compared to those of mundane life. Good and evil were irrelevant, there was only a greater good. Color, sound, etc. were irrelevant as well, just raw perception without limits. The words 'purpose', 'significance', and 'will' hint at what pervaded everything. Everything was as it should be.
<br>
(Describing it like that feels like I just drew a bunch of stick figures and told you that's what the sistine chapel looks like.)
<br>
<br>
As I 'descended'/'coalesced' i realized P. was having a bad trip. The look on his face was unforgettable - 'the pits of hell' - was what it said. He asked me to take him home and i did. We walked back in silence. My 'thought stream' was a sea, too vast and varied to remember. Deep concern 4 P. was side by side with elation, and a noticeable absence of words from my thoughts. It was the familiar trippy feeling of an absence of mental static, and being cleansed of the mental impurities that had built up over the course of my life.
<br>
<br>
We got to P's place and both reveled in the feelings of security and safety he was exuding. We talked about plato, buddhism, and psychology. Every insight felt fresh and pure, as if opening new doors. I told P. about what I saw in the park, or at least tried to, and we calmly shot the shit until dawn, and then crashed.
<br>
<br>
Incidentally, i had the only 'visuals' i've ever had when I was in the park. The trees danced and melted, and the sky knitted up over a shimmering whiteness as I was coming down.
<br>
<br>
I was reminded on this trip to:
<br>
beware crowds of sober people
<br>
beware sensory overload
<br>
beware the bad trip, especially when you drop 10 hits ;)
<br>
<br>
and i learned why Lao Tse said:
<br>
'those who speak don't know and those who know don't speak'<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 19394</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Not Specified</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 4, 2003</td><td>Views: 13,376</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=19394&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=19394&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/salvia/">Salvia divinorum</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(leaves)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 12:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 14:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/salvia/">Salvia divinorum</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(leaves)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">59 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br><!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
My experience with hallucinogenic drugs, by the time I smoked salvia divinorum for the first time, involved only LSD. But none of the acid trips I had before could compare with the intense effects this plant invoked.
<br>
<br>
My friends got salvia by ordering on the internet. It was in form of dried leaves of the plant (I can't really tell the exact amount). We decided to go on a kind of a psychedelic picnic :) . I was with 3 more friends and we went on a mountain place with panoramic view of a lake. It was a perfect setting, the nature was wonderful and intact. At first we split ½ hit of acid each of us. After couple of hours it was time for salvia. I didn't really expect anything, because my friends told me that it is difficult to inhale properly in order to reach the real effects of salvia divinorum, and what we had was a raw plant material and had only improvised bong. I figured out that probably nothing is going to happen. When it was my turn I took 3 large hits. When I exhaled the third hit, everything around me began to fade out, like in small waves. And the last thing I heard was the voice of my friend: 'Wow, that was a great hit' :) , fading out too.
<br>
<br>
Suddenly I found myself in a completely different environment, very strange to percept, everything physical vanished, there were only my own thoughts projecting in 3d images around me. I felt no body, only existence in form of a conscious thought. I was falling down an endless spiral stairway, which steps consisted of still frames of the last views I had from the 'physical universe', multiplying and repeating one after another by a different angle (this is a bit hard to explain; very bizarre, tough). I had no idea where I was, or what was happening to me, because at the time, I had totally forgotten that I had smoked something that induced that state, I only remembered doing acid. Some of the explanations that occurred to me were that I've probably gone insane or something, or transcended to some different level of existence or I don't know .. :) I'm aware that one must never let oneself be driven into confusion, fear or panic, so I cleared my mind and tried to adapt to the new world I was in (wherever that is :) ).
<br>
<br>
As the rush of positive thinking occupied my mind, some force got me out of the chaotic-floating-around feeling, and lifted me upwards with enormous speed. The surrounding became brighter and even more pleasant (higher astral I suppose :) ). It felt like the BEGINNING of something, all that whiteness around me. Then the most amazing part of my experience followed. All the events from my life, past, present and future were shown to me as on a fast forwarding film tape, but not only as images, it felt so real, so dense and detailed, like I'm re-living my life all over again. I was in center, on the beginning I was embryo, than baby, little girl and so on. I could actually *feel* the growth of my entire body, incredibly realistic. Everything around me was changing very quickly, I could see glimpses of my childhood, probably even the forgotten events of my earliest childhood. The changes continued and took brake on the exact moment it was for real; me sitting there with my friends. I looked at them but it seemed like I was watching from aside, I could see them but they couldn't see me.
<br>
<br>
I wanted to stay there, but I couldn't, the time accelerated again, showing the future and myself getting older and older. (I have to mention that for a moment I thought that I was in a process of dying, because it is known that near death experiences include vistas of the life fast forwarded like on a film tape. But there was no fear, on contrary, it was just the opposite.) A word appeared: enlightenment, enlightenment -- repeating all the time, I could hear my own (inner) voice saying it. I felt exquisite happiness and fulfillment, and began to climb and rise towards the white light I was seeing above me. After I reached it everything was filled only with light. And then something said END. And everything turned off. Blackness. Nothingness. (Death?)
<br>
<br>
The moment after, I came back into the 'real world'. And only THEN I realized that I had smoked salvia divinorum and that everything I had experienced was a consequence. I found myself standing (I don't know at which point had I stood up, because during the trip I was in no link with the 'reality'). I sat on the ground and yelled euphorically: 'I can't believe what just happened to me! So this is what salvia divinorum is about!' My friends smiled and said: 'She's back with us now' :) . Everything lasted only few minutes, but it didn't seem like that to me. I was left speechless and was still influenced by the intense experience, so I couldn't share it with them. I also wondered if something similar happened to them too, but it wasn't the case. My friend passed me the bong but I didn't feel like smoking again shortly after the first time, it would be overwhelming.
<br>
<br>
Some time passed after I returned to baseline (that is, baseline on acid :) ). During that time I was looking at the lake, it was very interesting how shadow and light played as my mood varied, dark and bright. Some conspirative thoughts occurred, for example that I'm able to increase and decrease the speed of passing time by my own will, or that I'm still not in everyday reality etc. But I know that powerful entheogens that deeply disturb the psyche can provoke such way of thinking, so I disregarded that kind of thoughts and didn't stick to them :) . I walked (it was somewhat narrow ground) and realized that my movement is eased, like I could estimate the correct spots I should step on with high accuracy. I was running around and I couldn't do that before because it was too narrow :) . It became chilly, so I sat down and covered myself with blanket. It felt like it was falling *through* me, and I couldn't feel my body properly, it was melted with the blanket. It was a very odd sensation and it just didn't feel comfortable to sit like that :) so I removed it. That sensation of passing *through* objects when in contact remained for the next few days (?!) only in my hands and fingertips.
<br>
<br>
Next morning we smoked salvia again, but this time it wasn't so intense. We ate pills couple of hours ago but that could not influence the effects because salvia is way more powerful. We were sitting on a beach, it was quite early, the sun was low over the lake, and everything was calm and peaceful. I took 3-4 hits, and the spiral falling down started again, but I remembered that it happened last time too, so I knew what was going on and I stopped falling and returned in normal position. The environment only slightly changed, and this time I was able to communicate with my friends and wasn't completely out. The texture of the objects around appeared like they are made of ceramics or kind of a plastic, very specific outlook that makes the world look weird and strange.
<br>
<br>
I noticed that two of my friends are having profound trips this time, and later they both told me they had encounters with other entities. I was looking at the sand and some pictures emerged from the diffused sandstones, first the faces of my parents, then I perfectly saw a head of a dog. But unlike the hallucinations on LSD, these pictures were of a different nature that I can't really explain, after they were born they expanded on all the forms of the objects around. After I saw the dog on the sand, a puppy appeared out of nowhere :) . I was seeing the whole scenery of the lake and the beach, and the puppy running across, as in a fairytale, expressing ideal harmony and calmness, which I was feeling inside too. I noticed that I'm able to control the hallucinations by my will. When I was looking at the clouds in distance, I could watch something like a cartoon on a wide screen. It was monochromatic, but not black and white, it was fluorescent purple and white :) . I could move the screen, zoom in and zoom out voluntarily.
<br>
<br>
In one moment, one of my friends said: 'Can you see those things in the air?' And the next moment we were all looking at the shiny particles floating around us. I suppose that was the static in the air that we percept in a quite unusual way, like the particles were magnified. I was also seeing some things that looked like cells, very detailed with fluorescent orange nuclei and purple cytoplasm :) . As they streamed in my direction, they became larger and larger and more numerous. I have never had similar hallucinations on LSD. I spent the whole morning in peace with myself and in enhanced spiritual mood.
<br>
<br>
Considering what I experienced with salvia divinorum, I think of this plant as a powerful tool for introspective explorations, that I would certainly like to continue in future.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 27352</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 6, 2003</td><td>Views: 17,941</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=27352&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=27352&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Salvia divinorum (44), LSD (2), MDMA (3) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9), Combinations (3), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
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<tr><td><a href="http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.cgi?A=ShowAuthor&amp;ID=44" target="new"><img src="/experiences/images/authors/logo_samanthe.gif" alt="Author Home Page" align="RIGHT" border="0"></a>
</td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">20 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(daily)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">123 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I dissolved a sugarcube with LSD in water with the intention of experimenting with very low doses during my regular work day. No clue about dose, “strength,” age, or provenance of the LSD –- my former roommate had found some cubes in the back of our freezer when we moved out of our apartment and gave me some. I kept the water in a clear glass which I covered with plastic wrap and kept out of direct sunlight during the 8 days or so it lasted. I took sips from the glass on 4 or maybe 5 days, some of the days consecutively, some with several days in between. Who knows how much LSD it was, but I’m wildly guessing that it was between 10 and 30 mics on any given day. I tried to make sure to keep the liquid under my tongue for at least 30 seconds before swallowing it.
<br>
<br>
My motivation for doing this was curiosity, and the desire to try LSD for its stimulant and anti-depressant effects, rather than its psychedelic effect. [I continue to be a champion of the low dose.] The idea came to me for two reasons. First, several of my friends/acquaintances had been taking daily low-doses [they estimate between 25 and 50 mics but who really knows] for antidepressant effects, for intervals of up to several weeks, with good results. Second, I am intrigued by early research with *daily* microdoses [10 mcg] of LSD for the alleviation of symptoms stemming from autism.
<br>
<br>
The effects were stimulating/antidepressive like caffeine but without the jitters. I have never tried amphetamine-like substances aside from Euphoria (4-methylaminorex), so I don’t have them to compare to. On most of the days I got an alert, a “brightening,” within an hour, and the alert was pretty much as far as it went for about eight hours, except for one or two days where I must have gotten a slightly higher dose. On all the days, I was more energized and motivated to do stuff, with a long peak around T+4:00. My mood was generally lifted and quite happy and confident. My body overall felt really good, like a tiny all-over MDMA flush. I came to really like the reliably pleasant effects. In fact, I imagined how nice it would be to have these effects every day. Not that I want that to become a habit.
<br>
<br>
The first day of the experiment, I was paying attention to whether I would get any anxiety feelings, which I have been susceptible to in the past. I got no such feelings [anxiety feels like lack of control, which isn’t really that fun when I’m trying to work]. I felt more focused and able to concentrate.
<br>
<br>
The second day I tried my microdose, I was feeling sort of blue. After taking the sip, I walked around town for a bit, and felt very independent and self-assured. Then I entertained myself all alone, with no desire to really interact with anyone else. I felt autonomous and grounded. This could have been an effect of the drug, or it could have been a coincidence.
<br>
<br>
The subsequent days that I tried my sips, they were like little afterthoughts in the day. I didn’t plan on them, I just realized some time during the day, “oh look, there’s my glass of dilute LSD,” and I was psyched to take some, but with about as much concern as having a latte. The final day of my experiment, I still got an effect, which means whatever drug was left didn’t suffer too much from a week of sitting out in room-temperature and ambient light.
<br>
<br>
On one of the days, I got muscle tension in my lower back, which is not where I generally hold tension. The tension faded once I got away from the computer, left the house, and moved around for a while. I did not notice any effects on my sleeping pattern or appetite.
<br>
<br>
It would be nice to continue this use of LSD, which fit nicely in my regularly scheduled life. I wonder what the long-term effects might be from doing daily microdosing, aside from the obvious problem of unreliable supply.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2002</td><td width="90">ExpID: 16655</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 8, 2002</td><td>Views: 42,609</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=16655&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=16655&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Various (28)</td></tr>
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</table>
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<tr><td><a href="http://treefingers.8k.com/home.html" target="new"><img src="/experiences/images/authors/author_logo_default_grn.gif" alt="Author Home Page" align="RIGHT" border="0"></a>
</td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gel tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
At the young age of 14 I dropped one hit of strong geltab LSD.
<br>
<br>
Before my virgin voyage, I read an interview with Carlos Santana. In it, he described the effects that LSD and mescaline had upon him, specifically upon his guitar playing. It was the first favorable description of any drug that I had encountered. Santana said that he had never played as well as when he was under the effects of LSD. It did something to his playing that he wasn’t able to achieve at any other time. And it wasn’t just his perception of the music. Upon hearing recordings of what he had played while intoxicated when sober, he was flabbergasted at his incredible playing. Myself being a musician in a sense, I decided to try to get some of this “acid” and try it in the name of music.
<br>
<br>
Don’t think I didn’t do my homework. I did. I read both the bad and the good about LSD. I found out as much as I possibly could. I ventured into my high school library for the first time to check out a book on psychedelic substances. In the end I came to the conclusion that it was relatively harmless, and at least worth a shot to satisfy my curiosity.
<br>
<br>
I told a friend of mine, D, that he should try to get us LSD. I knew that he had smoked marijuana before, and he was the closest thing to a drug user that I had ever come into close contact with (well that I know of). At the time I was also going out with a girl, G, who was actually threatening to break up with me because of my new-found interest. Surprisingly, one day after school she informed me that she had bought a few hits of LSD. Apparently, my musings on drug usage actually began to intrigue her, and G thought she would like to try it as well. She attended a different high school than me, and although it is only a town away, it was much more promiscuous in a drug sense than mine. While I was having trouble finding a source of any drug altogether, she found what I was looking for in no time at all.
<br>
<br>
It was a Wednesday night, and we had decided to drop one hit each while at home, and talk on the phone all night. We seldom had the opportunity to see each other (it was a rather odd relationship, one of which I could write several books about) and decided that this would be a good alternative to actually tripping together. We were both rather naive about LSD’s effects, and thought that we could spend the time commenting on how great music sounded and how cool our visuals were. There was a snag in the problem. Shortly after we both dosed, G’s mom came into her room and made her get off the phone. I expected her to call me back after a while, but apparently she fell asleep, missing the entire effects of the drug. I on the other hand, had an experience that continues to amaze me.
<br>
<br>
After getting off the phone with G I watched TV. It was all very funny. Suddenly everything was different. I couldn’t put a finger on it, but everything was just different. It wasn’t particularly odd or weird. It was just different. I had some mild visuals coming on, but they were nothing compared to the change that was occurring within my mind. What is going on?
<br>
<br>
Suddenly it came to me. I realized that there were two different parts to my psyche. There was the regular “me”. The guy who went to school everyday. The guy that I had gotten to know rather intimately in my 14 years in this body. And now, there was a new me, the me on drugs. It was totally different from the “me” that I thought I knew so well. I decided that I needed to write a letter to the regular me, and describe the incredible effects the “drug me” was feeling. After scribbling a few lines of gibberish and doodles I left my room and ran around for a while. I was becoming a little frightened. There was no way to control this drug. What happened to the pretty visuals? I thought this was just supposed to make me see colors and taste sounds and other trippy stuff? I didn’t remember reading anything about intense mindfucks! I ran into the kitchen and looked at a digital clock that was on my microwave. “Ok, only twelve hours. I can do this”, I reassured myself. After what seemed like an eternity I glanced at the clock again. A minute had yet to pass! This was going to be a long night.
<br>
<br>
I returned to my room and continued to lose my mind. After a couple minutes my parents came into my room. They had heard me banging around and were afraid that someone was breaking in. They seemed a little relieved that it was just me, and told me to quiet down. I giggled a response and they left.
<br>
<br>
Suddenly another epiphany sprang into my pried open head! This whole world was merely an incredible dream. I was finally waking up from my 14 year long slumber and I was going to return to my real self. Once I had gained this realization I said to myself, “well it’s a good thing I didn’t do my homework”. The thought of doing homework in a dream was intensely humorous and I laughed about this little joke for a couple thousand years and then returned to myself.
<br>
<br>
What is myself?
<br>
<br>
At this point, things get a little hazy. I remember nothing. Not that I don’t remember anything. I just remember feeling and seeing and becoming a vibration. I was nothing and I was everything. But mostly I was incredibly confused. During my research I had never encountered the notion of ego death, and actually didn’t find out that this was what I had experienced until months later. I lay on my bed and experienced a truly surreal moment. I don’t remember having any thoughts. Occasionally my mind would be jerked back into reality by a noise, only to return to this state of accidental enlightenment seemingly instantaneously.
<br>
<br>
Over time (somewhere between 4 and 6 hours as the sun was beginning to come up) I returned to myself. I was back in my body in my bed in my room in my house, although I had no concept of what each of these things were.
<br>
<br>
What am I?
<br>
<br>
My dog was laying nearby and I thought, “I am a dog”. Wait, what is a dog? I contemplated this notion for a while, and then came upon a suitable conclusion, a dog is that which looks and acts like a dog. And so for a few seconds I was a dog. But no, that’s wrong.
<br>
<br>
I tried again. I searched deep and thought of G. I’m G. I’m a human being. A female human. And for a few seconds I was her. Shit, that’s wrong too.
<br>
<br>
I eventually made it back to myself, whatever that is, and fell asleep. When I awoke it was 1 in the afternoon. I had missed school and all I could say to myself was, “what the fuck?” I was positive that I had taken some drug other than LSD. That surely must have been crack.
<br>
<br>
But of course it wasn’t crack. I had taken LSD and experienced the elusive ego death. A mystical plus four on the shulgin scale. Something that I have yet to achieve again. I don’t even know if I want to again.
<br>
<br>
Of course, I do. It was an incredible state, that while terrifying at the time, I feel grateful to have experienced.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1999</td><td width="90">ExpID: 29861</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 19, 2004</td><td>Views: 17,392</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=29861&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=29861&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : First Times (2), Mystical Experiences (9), Music Discussion (22), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
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<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">30 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/amphetamines/">Amphetamines</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">15 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/5meo_amt/">5-MeO-AMT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">215 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This story may be long, but it’s based on the night that I OD’d and nearly died so please read it full through before you throw it away or discard it. A lot of this is from the things that have started to come back to me, because for some of this story I was unconscious or unresponsive. I have had to learn what the whole story is because there are parts where I am hallucinating and cannot remember, but they are mostly at the end of my trip.
<br>
<br>
It was Friday and the last day of class for the semester. I got up at 9am for my 10am. Took my 30mg of Adderall for ADD and started walking to class, it would only take me ten minutes to get to class, but I wanted to take my time and enjoy the walk. I went to my classes and was done by 12am. I ate some lunch with whoever was around, because everything’s usually dead on the weekends. I hung out playing video games in my friend's room waiting for people to arrive so that we could go to where we were staying the night. It would be a great night; there would be drinking, tripping, smoking, and a blizzard outside. We knew we were going to be having fun and enjoying ourselves in a warm house. We wouldn't be able to leave for a while because people were busy doing stuff and there were all sorts of complications with where the alcohol was and who wanted to go stay the night. We finally got to the house and waited for the alcohol to arrive along with my fellow trippers. It was getting bad outside and we were getting worried about our friends being out in a blizzard.
<br>
<br>
It was around 10 or 11 when they finally arrived with the alcohol, 5 MEO AMT, and themselves. I was waiting for the trippers to get there so I could pop my pill and take my tab of LSD. Against the better advice of the friend who sold me the LSD [1 tab] and the 5 MEO AMT [10-20mg], I took them both at the same time. I had taken 5 MEO AMT several times before; so I was well aware of the effects that it would have on my stomach and that I would either throw up or wish I had thrown up. I waited for the nausea to kick in and it did and I felt really horrible. My friend told me to wait at least two hours for the LSD to kick in before I take the 5 MEO AMT. He told me that it was old and may not be very potent; plus I didn’t keep it well refrigerated so I figured it probably wouldn’t even work. Once I had started to throw up a little that’s when I noticed I had begun to trip. Everyone knew that I was taking LSD and 5 MEO AMT at the same time, so they were watching me carefully to make sure I was okay. They would follow me outside when I needed to throw up just in case I walked off into the nearby ocean or thought lying down in the snow would be a great idea.
<br>
<br>
The snow next to where I was throwing up started to move and shift in shape. It was different shades of white and grey moving around together in snake like patterns. The wind was blowing and I heard ominous voices that were not really there. I went inside and one of my friends tried to mess with me and immediately I flipped out and acted hostile towards him, by telling him not to do that because he knows full well the negative effects of messing with someone who is tripping. I quickly reclaimed my composure and assured everyone that I was not violent. Everyone there agreed that it’s not good to mess with one of the tripping kids; especially the one on Acid. I sat down in my friend’s room while Weezer was being played on the computer. I looked at the War Craft 3 poster in front of me, the characters were really fighting, and I could hear them fighting.
<br>
<br>
I turned around to discover a friend sitting on the bed behind me playing with her boyfriend’s cat all while listening to the music and having a good time. She was talking to the cat; very possibly about me I am not really sure. But their presence in the room made me feel a sense of warmth, love, and connection that I could not describe. These feeling were overwhelming with the sounds of Weezer and battle which were coming from the direction of the computer. I left the room and sat by the door between the kitchen and living room, while there I started feeling like people were verbally attacking me and I would respond with “Fuck you _________!!!!, but not fuck you ________” and this would go on for a little while, I would be in and out of conversations without even being in the conversations or even saying anything that made sense. I was tense about the fact that people were planning to leave, because there were still people who had not arrived yet. So I ran out the door yelling “NO, no, no, no, no!!!! No one is going anywhere!!!!!”
<br>
<br>
I knew I was tripping nuts, but I was still cognitive or so I thought I was to take control of the situation and prevent anyone from leaving. They wondered who had just run outside yelling and checked who left. Whoever went out to check came back and I told them that it was me who went out. They told me that no one was going to pick anyone else up, because everyone was already there. Friends of mine from back home started to show up, but I knew that they were back home and not really there, but I was talking with them and conversing with them as if they really were there. I began to answer a question that no one had asked me and try to get them to understand that I was tripping and was not capable of answering their question. I tried to explain to them that I understand Tool and Maynard. I told them if they looked hard enough eventually they would see what I was seeing and that their time would come.
<br>
<br>
This is around the point where things started getting bad and my trip comes to an end. I moved to a place on the floor in the kitchen and as I looked around I could see the music moving around me, it was as if I could see the energy and waves pulsing, flowing, and swirling all around the room. I was beautiful, I felt as if I had never truly experienced music before. I started asking them to play some darkness (turn off the lights) and play some Tool. I kept asking for darkness, but then when they started to reach for the light I quickly told them not to turn off that light, I was confused and didn’t know what was going on. They didn’t turn off the light, I don’t know if I was afraid to leap into the void or the unknown or if I was about to embark on a journey from which I would never return from or be the same again. I held the light close to me and embraced it. I began to see myself from the eyes of the disgusted outsider.
<br>
<br>
I am not sure what I became or how to clearly describe myself in this state, but I know that whatever it was has been locked away and is probably one of my worst fears. I had become a little half man half creature that was puking and snotting on itself, while everyone was looking at me as if that’s what I really was at that point in time. Then I also thought that I had gotten the cops called and that they were on their way to arrest me for public drunkenness or lewd conduct, and my friends were just looking at me and saying “Yeah that’s our friend Hans, the one who gets drunk and gets the parties broken up.” While others were saying “That’s the reason you don’t do a lot of drugs.” I didn’t know what to believe. I started asking for “darkness, play some darkness, just kill me now, just shoot me, put a bullet in my head, darkness, darkness, just kill me now, just shoot me, put a bullet in my head.” I then lay down and gave up and said one last thing to the paramedic and police officer who suddenly appeared out of no where “Fuck it I give up, yeah I’m the one you are looking for I’m the dying kid.” Then I blacked out.
<br>
<br>
While I had been seeing my friends from home, the creature in the corner, and the paramedic reaching out to me; I was non-responsive. My friends have seen bad trips before and knew some techniques on how to help a friend get through a bad trip, but I started having seizures and they immediately called the 911 for help. I had fifteen seizures on the way to the hospital, I was in a coma for a two days. My parents had to drive an hour and a half through a blizzard the next day at 8:30 the next morning, while under the assumption that their son was dead or dying in the hospital and that I may not be alive by the time they got there. My friends watched me nearly die on their kitchen floor, gave statements at the police station, stayed with me in the hospital until my parents arrived, waited around to hear if there had been any change in my condition, deal with my parents when they arrived (who were not happy with the situation, but happy that they did the right thing when it mattered the most), as well as visit me in the hospital.
<br>
<br>
I hope they can all forgive me for my selfishness and know how much I appreciate what they did for me. I hope they know how much they mean to me and that I love them for the good people they are. If someone asked me what made me a rich man, I would have to tell them “the friends that I have make me the richest man in the world.” The police told my friends that they may be held on manslaughter charges because I may not make it through the night. This night has taught me a lot of things never mix hallucinogens with Adderall, don’t trip alone, be aware of the negative aspects of hallucinogens and other drugs. I am lucky to be alive, but the only reason is because of great friends who acted quickly and called for help when they were the situation was out of their control.
<br>
<br>
Hallucinogens can be fun, but can also be very dangerous as well. You never know what can interact negatively with your normal medications. If you are going to mix anything just remember that you may cause yourself to end up having seizures, coma, brain damage, or death. It’s also not fair to let the people who care about you in life watch, you make that mistake. I am lucky to be alive and able to speak without brain damage.
<br>
<br>
<br>
<hr>
<br>
<br>
<b>Erowid Note:</b> A friend of the author's wrote to Erowid with the following in Aug 2004:
<br>
<ol>
<br>
I recently received the news about the research chemical websites that were <a href="/psychoactives/research_chems/research_chems_info1.shtml">shut down by the DEA</a>. It is horribly unfortunate. However, I found some discrepancies in the news reported by the DEA. Example:
<br>
<br>
'In December 2003, police responded to a call of a college student found unconscious, unresponsive and turning blue on the kitchen floor of a residence in Fairhaven, Massachusetts. He had been lying on the floor for 45 minutes before a call for help was made. This student was suffering from the ingestion of a substance he obtained from WWW.RACRESEARCH.COM. This overdose victim now suffers from chronic, violent seizures.'
<br>
<br>
I knew that person. He was a student of Umass Dartmouth (state school). Some facts:
<br>
<br>
He had mixed LSD with 5-MeO-AMT.
<br>
<br>
<!-- (I imagine around 35mg of 5-meo-amt -- the local dealer sold 7mg per hit)--> Also, he was on an Adderall prescription. The combination of these three drugs led to his overdose. Furthermore, he was not simply lying helpless on the floor for 45 minutes. His friends had been attending to him trying to help him, without drawing official attention. The student was in a two day coma afterwards, but does not suffer from 'chronic, violent seizures' now at all.
<br>
<br>
I have not been threatened with prosecution or anything by the DEA about these sites, but I was under investigation locally (though not charged -- I was expelled). I just think that it really, really, really sucks about these sites going under, and the DEA has to exaggerate to make it sound worse than it was. I hope some of the information I provide here is helpful.
<br>
</ol>
<br>
<br>
August 15 2004:
<br>
<br>
The DEA removed the mention of this overdose from their July press release in mid August, 2004. The person involved called several times to complain to the DEA that they had misrepresented the story about him.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 29591</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 20, 2004</td><td>Views: 38,762</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=29591&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=29591&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">5-MeO-AMT (104), LSD (2) : Hospital (36), Overdose (29), Health Problems (27), Bad Trips (6), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">10 kg</td>
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I've enjoyed taking a look through some of these accounts of 'Trips', the good, the bad and the ugly. I wonder if anyone else who's had a bad trip and read some of the other stories here has felt a loosening of the sphincter reading other people's nightmare episodes?! :)
<br>
<br>
It's been about eight years since I last took any form of hallucinogen , at this time I cannot say whether I ever will again. I tend to have the opinion that whatever path you take in life, one way or another we all reach the same conclusion and our experience then takes us across the divide to places where we won't tell the living our tales. Anyway, I digress.
<br>
<br>
Acid! The following account is an example of one very bad trip in around 30 good ones, but it's so far out there I thought I'd cover the bad stuff
<br>
before the good.
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<br>
About ten years ago I bought my third trip from a guy in my home town Norwich (UK) It was a 'Strawberry' and I was told it had been double dipped. The guy had a reputation for selling good acid so I happily gave him my cash . My being in Norwich was just a social visit over a couple of days and catching up with friends. On the last day there I decided to drop the tab and use my friends house as 'Trip HQ' He knew what I was up to, he had gone to work and left me his keys to make myself at home. I began to come up on the acid towards the lunch time. It was to be the first and last time I'd ever trip alone . Outside it was a glorious sunny day but I was happy enough in my temporary sanctuary to even think about going outside. The LSD rush started blazing up my spine and racing through my guts, I felt a little uneasy with it but had enough mind to allow myself to just go with it and wait until the rush plateaued. It did just that a little later , I'd decided to sit in the upstairs of the house and listen to music on the radio in a sunlit bedroom . I was having a wonderful time , watching floral Escher type patterns breathing over my skin , I enjoyed looking in the mirror looking at my grinning face with very distinct map contour patterns gently washing over my flesh . Its seemed like a great start eh ?
<br>
<br>
Well, I vaguely recall deciding to go downstairs again for some reason then the next thing I recall was awakening on the floor of the dining room alone. The first thing I noticed was that there were blowflies buzzing around a bowl of catfood on the kitchen floor (Which was in view) I remember feeling perplexed as to why both flies had two bright neon after images in red and blue . I sat up and tried to figure out why I was on the floor in the first place . Now its worth pointing out before I take you down my helter skelter that somehow because of my black out , I'd completely forgotten that I'd taken anything at all . Prior to tripping I'd also written myself a note of reassurance in case things got too weird. So, sitting up on the floor still, I found my note and tried to read it. Alas because I was acid addled the words made no sense to me . Instead they morphed like alien glyphs and danced around on the piece of paper. It was then that my last little link to sanity crumbled and I heard my voice utter the terrifying words 'I've gone mad!' I had a feeling that I had to be somewhere else which then got heightened by the digital watch I was wearing suddenly bleeping a time alarm at me but I had no idea why or what it meant .
<br>
<br>
So I left my sanctuary , I later found out that I left the back door wide open thus making the house entirely a burglar's free for all (Fortunately without that as a repercussion). I remember walking almost on auto pilot down a busy street heading towards town, I saw one of my old school teachers who also saw me, but the only thing I did was force a grin and keep on walking. I did indeed walk, not so much as a conscious effort or with any sense of intent, I felt utterly out of control. I collided with
<br>
someone carrying their shopping-vaguely heard them cuss at me as I continued in my stride, I turned down a passageway between two houses and strolled though the backdoor of a house I'd once lived in, past the new inhabitant and out the front door. I walked into the city center from there - I still don't know how I survived crossing roads but I did. I strolled into a city cafe where my friend's son was working, he saw me and said hello, but in my acid addled state of autopilot I just walked past him into the main cafe and sat down, then I stood up and walked out of the cafe without uttering a word.
<br>
<br>
Other than being completely out to lunch on LSD at that time in the trip , I don't recall hallucinating, moreover I was more a puppet on a string guided by some subconscious walking mechanism which had its own design on where I should be, there was certainly no cognitive thinking to my actions. After the brief cafe episode of the trip, the situation just went from bad to worse.
<br>
<br>
Somehow I'd navigated myself through Norwich during the busy lunchtime shoppers and begun to head in the direction of the city's central park 'Chapelfield gardens'. As a child I'd always felt a sense of friendliness and comfort there. Now in my fried state the familiar comfort of this park had shifted to its polar opposite, I was now hallucinating on top of everything else. The people in the park were all walking around but my perception had begun to distort their heads and faces beyond any form of human recognition. If you could imagine for a moment being surrounded by people in a busy place where their heads had been removed and replaced by Squids and Octopus you might begin to accurately picture the scene confronting me in the park.
<br>
<br>
Everyone had tentacles smothering their faces and dangling down their necks like fleshy snake beards, even the women and children were not exempt from this disfiguration. The octopoid heads were white in appearance and each person seemed to have baleful staring eyes where their ears should have been. Even in my state of auto pilot I felt nothing but sheer terror at the alien swarm of people walking around me .
<br>
<br>
My feet had obviously decided to make evasive maneuvers because I then found myself out of the park having crossed yet another treacherous main road and was now heading towards a multi storey apartment block. I recall that I got inside the building somehow and wandered in circles on one of the floors of the apartment block, I seemed stuck in a loop of wanting to get out, walking around a circle of short corridors and arriving at a janitors cupboard, I would open the door expecting to find an exit and be confronted by a dead end with cleaning products and brooms. I would repeat this several times like a fly that desperately flies in circles around a kitchen only to collide with the same window again and again. I don't remember how I finally broke the loop but I did.
<br>
<br>
The next thing that happened was the memory of walking around some side streets, into someones back garden via an alley way, I recall a middle aged woman looking a little afraid of me being in her yard and rushing into her house closing the door behind her. I left the yard and I think I walked between two garages, the gap between them was tight, perhaps I tried to go through it anyway, In my mind I was a being trapped inside an ever tightening spiral that I relentlessly marched along. As the spiral tightened my body would begin to crush, if I were to continue down the spiral I would surely be crushed to my final atom...
<br>
<br>
I must have snapped out of that little loop of fractal thought mental torture, I was now adjacent to a main road in Norwich called 'Unthank road' I was in a front garden of another house, the inside of my mouth felt like plant matter, when I tried to scream, my tongue shot out as a mix of flesh and thorny rose stem. The situation was utterly hopeless, and getting ever worse with each lysergic eternal minute. Over the other side of Unthank road from where I stood was a dental repair workshop, a discreet looking workplace that looked just as much part of the houses above it. I recall that I walked into this workshop to the surprise
<br>
of the men who were working there, I think they said 'Hey, where do you think you're going' etc, but I was too far gone and on my way out again still under the guidance of this momentum and hidden agenda of the auto pilot within me.
<br>
<br>
The adjacent side street began the final demise of my terrifying trip, you'll have to indulge me in this part and go with the flow of reality and abstract woven together. First off, like a lemming I walked across this side road, onto the pavement then promptly plummeted a good seven ft into someones basement flat, there had probably been a flight of steps leading down to this concrete pit but I didn't see them and wouldn't have known what to do with them if I had. I guess I clambered up to street level again and limped my way up this street which was a bit of a cul de sac. Part of my subconscious memory must have recalled that an ex girlfriend had lived at the end of the street. I found myself walking up to her old front door which was one of those aluminium framed, double glazed types. I recall my reflection looking somewhat like a Francis Bacon painting, a mixture of anguished flesh and black oils ripping like blood down my body .
<br>
<br>
I was falling in eternal darkness, like a fleshy sack of bricks. As I fell forever I would crash through intermittent panes of glass which would shatter and tear me in my never ending descent. With the sound of breaking glass was the wavering crescendo of the word 'Mad' repeating in waves...mad, Mad, MAD,MAAAD, MAAAAAD, MAD, Mad, mad...over and over as I
<br>
plummeted, ripped and torn in darkness with splinters of glass falling beside me.
<br>
<br>
Back on the street a voice was saying 'There is a way out of this, there is a word, and if it all ever gets too much you just say
<br>
'_____________' and a door will open to allow you away from here '
<br>
<br>
Back on the street I had staggered a few more paces then fallen. I was now a seven year old child lying on the pavement, my best friend's parents stood over me feeling concerned 'What happened', 'He's hit his head', 'Call an ambulance'. A disk shaped hole appeared above me with someones arm reaching down to me to try and pull me up into safety, I tried to reach the grasping hand but couldn’t. Then the hole disappeared.
<br>
<br>
I was staggering along the street again at the bottom of the cul de sac.
<br>
My gaze lifted to the sky and the sky's gaze fell upon me, each cloud was now a giant type of amoeba type organism, covered in dots which pulsed in colour like the skin of a cuttlefish, each giant amoeba had a giant blue human looking eye observing me. I could hear voices taunting me, telling me I was stupid, telling me how thick I was for looking for the answers , telling me I had spastic consciousness. The amoebas seemed to be singing a never ending song which was something like this...
<br>
<br>
'I'm an umpsquamadic peel and if I ever know what I feel, then I know that I felt like this before and I always knew what I was timely for...' (Repeat into infinity with a chorus of about 1000 people !)
<br>
<br>
I briefly saw existence as a giant clock face of a billion dots between each second , the dots were ticking forward in a relentless advance like the movement of a second hand. Each dot was the equivalent of someone's lifetime. The internal monologue described that living and dying was part of this eternal chain, It showed me that there was a gap of nothing at the point which marked 12 on the clock face and that was a one second break from the never ending cycle of existence that any soul would have. Then the monologue started laughing at my dismay.
<br>
<br>
In reality, I briefly became conscious enough to recognize that I was stumbling through a small childrens play area at the base of the cul de sac. It's worth describing to you a little about the geography of where I was. Adjacent to the cul de sac is a small path which leads to about four flights of stone steps leading to a street below. This street is called 'Park lane'. If you go through the gap in the fence at the back of the children's play area there is a steep foliage ridden embankment that leads down to a flint gravel parking area at the rear of a Park lane hotel. Guess which route I took!
<br>
<br>
In reality I passed through the gap in the fence, failed to notice the dangerous drop below me then tumbled down the embankment onto the flint parking area. I was crawling on my hands and knees by this point. A piece of flint had torn the palm of my hand making it look like a stigmata wound which was pretty appropriate to the following delusion...
<br>
<br>
I was in a place that looked like 'The sea of holes' from the Beatles' 'Yellow submarine' movie. This was a white void with an infinity of swarming black dots, I could hear air raid sirens and the sound of buzzing, In the sea of holes was a giant cross which had a festering bloody pile of guts and organs spread across it staining the wood crimson. The guts were smothered in wasps stinging the ruined flesh causing venomous pustules. It was an image of impossible pain. Then the monologue returned booming over the sirens and drone of the wasps 'This is Christ, he's still suffering for your sins, still paying the price...' More
<br>
laughter, then a fleeting moment of reality. I had crawled across Park lane and collapsed in the gutter on the other side of the road, my jacket was gone, there were cuts and grazes over my bare arms. A wasp had landed by my elbow and was making a snack for itself on one of my cuts. I remember trying to brush it away and it stinging me as I did.
<br>
<br>
Over the other side of the street I saw a woman pushing a pram and looking at me with concern but now I had returned to acid Hell again. My body was a
<br>
giant mass of green flesh punctured all over by cactus like thorns that had grown from within and broken my skin on the way out. I had no arms or legs, I was more like a mass of tendrils with an apple shaped mass at the top. My form was that of pain, nothing more and nothing less.
<br>
<br>
A brief flash of a police car pulling up beside me, someone getting out ...
<br>
<br>
I was pain , floating in the sea of holes, there were a billion holes, each one a passage leading to another identical ocean of swarming black dots. The monologue told me there was only one whole which lead away from here...
<br>
<br>
I was in a hospital, lying on a padded vinyl mattress with medics standing around me, I was human shape again. The doors of the room I was in swung open to reveal an idyllic country side scene of green hilly pastures, bathed in glorious sunlight and a friendly looking old Oak tree in the foreground view, if only I could crawl through those doors I would be safe, my soul saved. But I couldn't move, the doors swung shut then opened again, now I could see a hospital corridor instead of the fields, someone was being pushed past on a stretcher trolley.
<br>
<br>
Back in the sea of holes it seemed that my gaze in any direction would erase the back dots in their masses, for the first time in this nightmare trip I felt a sense of conscious hope. I began to wipe swathes of dots by sweeping glances into the void around me...
<br>
<br>
'What have you taken ?'
<br>
<br>
I was gaining hope by the minute, stripping the black dots away , removing these taunting false exits...
<br>
<br>
'What have you taken? Was it acid ?'
<br>
<br>
Surrounded by a self created white void of comfort I gazed at the final bunch of black dots and knew my release from Hell was merely held by these remaining few ...
<br>
<br>
'He's out of it still.'
<br>
<br>
I had gazed all but two of the black dots away, these two now had a bridge akin to a line seen in a dot to dot puzzle. In my mind my voice returned as I stared at each dot, I heard my own internal voice yelling 'One Two, One, Two, One one, Two...' Then, the two dots looked like my own hands with cuffs around them. The black line bridge had become a visible
<br>
chain, the white void had faded to become a hospital room. I was in fact on my back on a hospital bed with my arms trapped beneath me, I was looking through my legs at my wrists grazed with the rubbing pressure of police hand cuffs around them.
<br>
<br>
Then I yelled, 'Get these fucking hand cuffs off me !'
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<br>
In the room with me were a male and female police officer from the Norfolk constabulary, they had obviously been the people who had lifted me from the Park lane gutter and taken me to hospital. The male officer obliged my demand and removed the cuffs. The woman police officer asked me stuff like my name, If I knew where I was, but the best I could muster was a brief
<br>
groan. They both looked a bit frustrated and left me in the room on the hospital bed alone. I was rapidly regaining my sense of self and conscious of reality. I recalled that I had indeed dropped acid sometime earlier, my Hospital surroundings and the amount of cuts and bruises I had were confirmation to me that whatever I'd done, It had seriously backfired big time!
<br>
<br>
I sat on the edge of the hospital bed, noted a number of missing Items I had recalled having on my person prior to all of this . I found my pumps in the bedside cabinet and put them on. Then I took my first deliberate steps across the room I was in. The bizarre nature of this entire episode had one final twist installed for me. I recall walking to the door of my single bed room and opening it, a few feet away from me were the two police officers facing each other having an intense conversation about what to do about me. They were so engrossed in their discussion that neither noticed as I came out of the room and begun walking down the hospital corridor. There was a window that stood from floor to ceiling, the type that pivots in the central vertical axis, so judging that I could fit through the gap, I squeezed through it.
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<br>
There is little left to tell of this story, except to say my walk from the hospital to the train station was quite distressing, I was in a lot of pain . had stitches in my chin, my elbow and hand. My right forearm had swollen up purple making it look like Popeye's right hook. I was still semi-hallucinating but very aware of how I'd nearly died and how I had a lot of explaining to do when I got home to my girlfriend. There were no legal repercussions for giving the police the slip , I had caught a train back home to a village in Suffolk which was not in the jurisdiction of the Norfolk constabulary, however they had contacted my father who was in Norfolk , so I had quite a bit of explaining to do for him too!
<br>
<br>
If anyone is interested in seeing some of the visuals I had during that hellish day, I have (The last time I looked) a website partly dedicated to the episode which can be found at <a href="http://geocities.com/hellclouds4/">geocities.com/hellclouds4,</a> as well as an <a href="/culture/art/artists_h/art_hiab-x.shtml">artist's page</a> on Erowid.
<br>
<br>
In retrospect, it was the worst day of my entire life. It was the closest I can imagine to having full blown psychosis. I think it was nothing short of a miracle that I didn't end up over someones car bonnet or worse. Do I believe the monologues and symbols of that day? I'm not entirely sure I do, I now understand that intense adrenalin bursts whilst hallucinating are responsible for dragging the mind into the abyss of fear and worst possible scenarios. I kind of feel that I would have a very bleak outlook for life and reality if I believed for a moment that anything I saw in that trip was true. I've had some other trips which were glorious and the polar opposite of that day (You will find more of my accounts of these here soon ). So I tend to agree with Aldous Huxley that Heaven and Hell are both valid states of consciousness. It all depends on where the person is at and how we navigate through the psychedelic state which determines which destination we arrive at. If anything puzzles me at all about that day, It would have to be the black out I experienced early in the trip, I suspect that had I not lost consciousness I would probably have not forgotten that I took the drug and therefore wouldn't have panicked myself into an internal Hell fractal.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1991</td><td width="90">ExpID: 15729</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 5, 2002</td><td>Views: 31,059</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=15729&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=15729&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Various (28), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Bad Trips (6), General (1)</td></tr>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
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<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
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<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
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I have partaken in LSD many many, at least 100 times. Never had a 'bad' trip. Had a few where I felt nauseated, which was no cup of tea (is it ever) But never the typical 'paranoia' bad trip you can usually read about.
<br>
BUT this past weekend. WHOA. I am still making sense of what happened to me. The thing is, I can not find a similar 'trip report' anywhere on the web.
<br>
<br>
I took 2 hits of L about 5 pm. This is a very normal dose for me. I usually take anywhere from 2 to 5 hits. I had really been building up a tolerance lately, so I hadn't taken it for about 5 or 6 weeks, this time, I could tell right away (within 30 minutes, started seeing trailers and colors) that the effect would be stronger than normal (which I was pretty happy about, I don't want to eat 3 or 4 hits and barely even see visuals). I had about half a beer to drink but no other substances were ingested.
<br>
<br>
I was in a parking lot, waiting to get into a show, there were about 100 other people there partying, waiting. It was overall a relaxed, fun atmosphere, a nice day out; but looking back, I was very worn out from a week of long work hours and not enough sleep, and had a lot of stress about money and my relationship with my family in the back of my mind. Last thing I remember was talking to 2 of my friends, probably around 7:00, and feeling very confused, not being able to follow the conversation. It was getting cold out, we couldn't get into the show that we were waiting to see yet, So I went to sit in my car (I only vaguely remember this).
<br>
<br>
Next thing, I was coming back into consciousness, it was about midnight. My boyfriend was there talking to me, our friend was in the back seat. I remember the last few flashes of my 'trip dream' - that is what is was like, like waking from a dream. At first, I wanted to talk to the people there, but I was majorly disoriented, and I couldn't seem to form words. It took another hour or to for me to completely be able to think and reason. My boyfriend says that through most of it (before gaining consciousness), I was sitting there, twitching, couldn't talk (was basically out of it) but was madly looking around in all directions.
<br>
<br>
The last thing I remember before 'waking' was that I was 'inside a molecule, trying to master it'. I am a chemist, and have been trying to master some synthesis reactions (in real life, kids) so this 'kind of' makes sense to me. I also vaguely remember some other things, many images flashing very fast, all unrelated to one another. It was almost as if I had to rearrange every thought in my mind before I could come back to reality.
<br>
Until this happened to me, I was not aware that LSD could produce such a reaction. I have been researching this, and have not heard any other account of a 4 to 5 hour long seizure-type reaction. I am also pretty sure that until I find a scientific explanation for what the hell happened, I can never take the stuff again. (and even then, probably not) Shame, really, because it's one of my favorite drugs, and in the past has been more of a tool for thought and meditation than for recreation:(<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2004</td><td width="90">ExpID: 32413</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Mar 31, 2004</td><td>Views: 37,529</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=32413&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=32413&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Health Problems (27), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">180 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I had a bunch of friends who were crazy about acid, and they talked me into giving it a shot. So I popped a couple hits one night and sat back and enjoyed myself. My first expirience was awesome, and my second was amazing.
<br>
<br>
Then came the third and last.
<br>
<br>
I was in the same place that I had always done LSD, in my friend's very large bedroom. We bought a quarter sheet, and between four people, we ate the whole thing. I ate four hits of the stuff, as did two of my other friends, while my fourth friend, we'll call him 'Joe,' ate the remaining 13 hits. The most I had done was three, and it was mind blowing. I guess mind blowing just wasn't good enough for me though.
<br>
<br>
The first couple hours were fine--extremely intense halicinations and psycological effects, but no real problems. Then things got fucked up. Joe and I both began to lose our minds. Joe was very expirienced with LSD, and had taken more than 13 hits at a time on more than a few occasions and been just fine, but this time he couldn't keep it together. We were starting to realize that we had taken some VERY powerful acid. Joe sat in a corner, rocking back and forth, sweating profusely and mumbling to himself. He became extremely confused and disoriented, and soon he was completely unaware of anything around him.
<br>
<br>
I wasn't doing much better. I was losing it as well. I realized that my memory would only work for a few seconds and then I would forget anything that had just happened. This seemed to be the only thing that I could remember. I forgot my name, where I was, who I was with, what was going on, and to some extent, that I was on drugs. Though my other two friends, who were doing just fine, assured me that I was just on a hallicinogen and would be better in a few hours (which is exactly what you should remind someone on a bad trip, for all those tripsitters out there), I became convinced that something had gone terribly wrong and we we had all been turned into vegetables (not literally mind you--I wasn't THAT fucked up).
<br>
<br>
As the night progressed, I felt worse and worse. I tried to get my head together, but I couldn't manage it. Then came the blackout period. I don't remember anything that happened for about the next hour of that night, all I have are a few brief flashes, none of which are very pleasant.
<br>
<br>
All I remember is that Joe's mother was suddenly screaming at us to get the hell out of her house and to never come back... and I had no idea why, but I understood her and it was very real, which made it all the more scary. Next thing I can remember clearly is lying on a hospital bed with cops hovering over me. I thought the hospital walls were shaking and getting ready to collapse on me, though I kept that to myself.
<br>
<br>
In that blackout period, I harassed Joe's mother and damn near assaulted her, crashed my car, fought a cop, and passed out in the middle of the street with three cops and a fireman holding me down.
<br>
<br>
Fuck acid man. Sure it's a lot of fun. But just wait, all you who say it's good fun and you've never had a problem, JUST WAIT UNTIL IT TURNS ON YOU. Acid doesn't give a fuck about you, and it will show you the worst time of your life just as fast as it has showed you the best of times.
<br>
<br>
Fair warning.
<br>
<br>
Be safe if you are going to trip, though. Always have at LEAST one sober person present who knows how to deal with bad trips and never eat more than you think you can handle--chances are, you can't handle it.
<br>
<br>
Peace, love, and positivity<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 8916</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 13, 2004</td><td>Views: 26,998</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=8916&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=8916&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Bad Trips (6)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">12 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">200 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Ozzfest 97
<br>
<br>
First before i go to the expierience at hand i should give you some background of my use of LSD at that time. I took LSD practically every day at school for about 100 days straight. i would not be suprised if the following trip's frightful nature had something to do with this. I had also never had any visuals outside of small outlines on objects and minor trails. I had taken 10 hits of acid before but obvously it very weak in comparison to this stuff
<br>
<br>
And now onto the story of....
<br>
<br>
The worst trip ever (the best thing that has ever happened to me)
<br>
<br>
I was in the best mood of my life on this day. I had never been to a huge festival like Ozzfest. I was in the mindset that i would be going down in history like the people at Woodstock. I went down in history all right, but it was in my own book with a horrific chapter. As soon as my friend and I (we will call him C ) arrived on the lawn at Ozzfest we found our group of friends and started to search for our friend M, who was supposed to be bringing enough trip for the whole bunch. We found him but he could not obtain any before the show. We all (9 or 10 of us) were bitching about it when suddenly out of nowhere this hippie that looked like jesus with a gap between his teeth jumped down in front of us and said in a very Chong-like manner 'You guys wanna buy some L-S-D? Of course we were all like 'sure'! Each of my friends except for C bought 2 hits. But me and C each bought what appeared to be about a 12 strip. While Jesus was showing everybody his silvery nugs, C and I dropped the entire strip.
<br>
<br>
At that moment Jesus turned around and said 'Hey can you sell this guy ( my friend J)a couple of hits, i wanna hold on to this half sheet for that bunch over there' I told him i couldn't and he asked why.
<br>
'Cause i just took it all' i said
<br>
'You ate that whole strip?' (the whole group looked at me like i was crazy.
<br>
'Um...Yeah'
<br>
<br>
And with that Jesus was out of there like a lightening bolt. Within about 5-10 minutes i heard everyone else exclaiming about how they had never had acid come on so quickly and how beautiful everything looked. That's the last coherent thought I had that day.
<br>
<br>
Incubus had just come onto the stage and they started in on some odd brazilian-type bongo epic. I looked around me and noticed every blade of grass was individually colored. I felt a wave of anxiety come over me like i had never expirienced. I quickly lit up a cigarette to calm myself but it only made things worse. Every motion i made with my hands just created a wall of trails behind it that took aproximately 10-20 seconds to start to fade. C grabbed on to my shulder and stated that he wasn't feeling so good either. I forgot to mention it was about 90 degrees out with a heat index of like 110.
<br>
<br>
We both removed our shirts and proceeded to hold on for our dear souls. I looked at the guy in front me's back. He had a 'shroom tatoo and it appeared that the many freckles on his back were running away from the fungi, which symbolized a very powerful message to myself. Also above me I noticed a very pronounced Aztec meets tribal pattern rotating and flashing in the sky. At this point i could still see what was reality with what looked like a lysergic transperency superimposed over it. My friend R noticed the scared look on my face and asked what was happening i cant remember if i answered or not but he left to get us some whater. About 20 minutes later (40 minutes into the trip) I forgot he left to get water and C and myself decided to search for some liquid on our own. As soon as we got on the walkway down the lawn we both tumbled down like bails of hay, head over foot over arm over arm. We landed next to a couple who both had blue hair and they offered us their beverage which was also blue ( i found this extremeley confusing). They tried to ask us what was wrong. We mistakenely told them we took 10 gels. They offered to take us to the trip tent but we stupidly decided we could find it ourselves.
<br>
<br>
By this time none of the music made sense it was just a collage of whirs and spliced audio resting on individual notes just to be spat forth (or backward) into the oblivion of my head space. It was at this moment we determined we were having a 'bad trip' (biggest understatement of my life. I told C it would be a good idea to make ourselves vomit in hopes of getting what hadn't absorbed into our stomachs out. When i walked into the bathroom it seemed like everyone was groaning and staring at me like they knew what was up. This only increased my paranoia.
<br>
<br>
I found a stall as quickly as i could and proceeded to stick my finger in my throught. there was piss and hair all over the floor (or was there?) but i didn't care. I could only dry-heave, and every time i looked in the water i could swear i saw a reflection of my group of friends standing behind me trying to pick me up. I could hear the 'music' from the stage in the background, but it sounded more like a spaceship whirring through the bathroom. Suddenly the ship took hold over the stall i was in and proceeded to flash a bright light down. when the flash dissaipated so did all the crazy sounds and visuals and it was actually silent except for the buzzing of the flourescents above me. Then i remembered C was in there too in the moment of silence i called out his name several times, but the only response i got was the ever steady echo of my voice in time-space.
<br>
<br>
I left the stall to look for him, but as soon as i stepped out of the restroom i say an official looking figure so i went up to him and asked 'have you seen my friend C' he looked at me like i was an idiot (and i was). He said ' you don't look so good, are you okay?'
<br>
<br>
I figured this was my chance to get some help. I relized i was never gonna find C among the thousands of people there, so i said 'no idon't feel so good, i think i got too hot'
<br>
<br>
(2 hrs later)
<br>
<br>
As soon as I said that i blacked out. The next thing i remember i woke up laying on a pile of ice bags hearing someguy in the distance say 'this boy ain't suffering from no heatstroke, get him to a hospital.' 'Oh fuck!' I thought to myself and blacked out again.
<br>
<br>
<br>
I awoke to an interally dimensional dream of lucidy without so much reality though. I thought i was being pushed through a hospital on a gurney at about 90 miles an hour. Hands were shooting out of the rooms trying to grab me, and i could hear people moaning.
<br>
<br>
Slowly the moaning turned to reality into the wailing of the siren of vanbulance that was taking me to the hospital. Across from me was a guy with his leg tucked behind the other. At first it appeared to me that he was floating in the air in front of an out of broadcast (snowy) television picure, and that his leg had been cut off and the blood was floating around the back of the vehicle in amazing aztec like shapes. (i ask the reader to keep in mind i had never seen anything outside of a tracer on acid before so this was all very........well...something.) Then the nurse in vanbulance started asking me questions:
<br>
<br>
'Whats your name?' (her)
<br>
'I don't know' (me)
<br>
'C'mon you know your name, don't fuck with me!' (her)
<br>
'No I don't' (me)
<br>
'Whats your social security number' (her)
<br>
'xxx-10-9874' (me) (thats not my real # but i did remeber my real one at the time)
<br>
'Phone number' (her)
<br>
'xxx-8714' (me)
<br>
'Name of the person that is there' (her)
<br>
'I don't know' (me)
<br>
And then i blacked out again.
<br>
<br>
(4 hours later)
<br>
<br>
I woke up in a hospital bed with some device around my dick an I.V. in my arm and my mom's finger in my mouth, chewing on it. I suddenly became aware of where i was. the noises had stopped but there were still multicolored blobs sliming up and down the walls. I decided i could handle that. I asked my mom what happened. She said she didn't know. (they didn't know drugs were involved yet). But right at that moment the doctor came in and said 'We found over 10,000 micrograms of LSD in his system. '10,000' i thought to myself 'thats how much Jim Morrison took when he jumped off that speaker landed flat on his face, jumped right back up and started dancing with the 'indian tribe' on stage. My mom looked at me with greatest dissapointment i've ever seen in anyones eyes. I collapsed inside and began to cry.
<br>
<br>
To make the rest of this long story short: I was taken back home, grounded for 6 months ( and i mean grounded, my only sense of freedom was when i 'got' to mow the grass. I vowed to never trip on acid again. I have since then, but it has never been as good as it was before Ozzfest.
<br>
<br>
Now whenever i trip i get a fear in me and i have to take it with valium or Xanax handy, and almost always end up needing it. The main thing i learned from this situation was that if you do not respect a drug it will happily show you its power. I used to take tripping for granted doing it to deal with life on an everyday basis.
<br>
<br>
Now I take it about every 6 months and i make the perfect setting with only one other person, soft lights, and plenty of Beatles vinyls. My advice to the person who reads this wonder what acid is like is: don't let this scare you, if you go in with fear your ego takes over and it is not a good idea to bring your ego into the garden. Acid can be very beautful, and enlightening. If you take more than you can handle, then you will be shown more about your world than you are ready to handle. Thank you for your time. Happy Tripping<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1997</td><td width="90">ExpID: 8012</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 21, 2004</td><td>Views: 26,629</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=8012&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=8012&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Festival / Lg. Crowd (24), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">120 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
A couple of weeks ago, my fiance M and I were given two Necco candies with Lsd dropped on them. We took it the night we got it, after a nice, mellow dinner party with close friends. It was a very impulsive move; usually he and I make preparations such as location, purpose and general feelings about taking the drug. But that night we just decided to take them right when we got home, as it was already midnight.
<br>
<br>
We arrive home and then ingest. I feel I must also say that I am a paraplegic as of last Sept., and since the car accident I have tried MDMA, Cannibis and 2-CB, all with good results. This was to be my first LSD trip in my new body.
<br>
<br>
We begin to feel the effects within an hour. The usual giddy, absolutley goofy euphoria engulfs us, everything is made into a joke somehow. We mill around the apartment aimlessly, realizing that we have tripped in this house, with the same atmosphere, too many times. It is becoming stale, and why did we do this anyway? I began to feel kind of foolish and irresponsible, we did not have a purpose for this trip, we did it to get high. We are both feeling kind of claustraphobic so we go outside to smoke cigarettes.
<br>
<br>
By this time it is about 2 or 3hours into the trip. The steep climb of the high is evening out to its plateau. We hear a single car approaching on the nearby road, and it is pretty much the only sound that is around us right then, and we both tune our ears to it, listening to the nighttime driver getting closer to the round-about that is right up the street from our apartment complex. As we listen, we hear the tires suddenly start to squeal, and then screech, and then SLAM!, and with hair raising clarity we can hear the EEEEEEEE of the car horn stuck on. We look at eachother with the classic, 'Oh, SHIT!' faces. M pauses, then says, 'I have to call 911.' M runs into the house, gets the cordless phone and brings it outside. He holds the phone in his hand and stares at it, and I know exactly what he is thinking: Shit, am I coherent enough to do this? I'm so fucking high, but I have to call. So he calls. After M reports what we heard, the dispatcher takes his name and adress, and we hope that the cops don't come and try to talk to us. M hangs up the phone. The car horn is still stuck, but it shuts off after a few more minutes. I try not to imagine the reasons why it got stuck, or how it turned off. Soon we hear the approaching sirens, and tow truck.
<br>
<br>
Needless to say, this event took our trip and spun it 180 degrees. We discussed how strange it was that we took this drug on impluse (which was unusual for us), and after wondering why, we went outside and this whole thing began to transpire. We talked about how even though M was really high, he could not _not_ do anything, because when we got into our accident, people called 911 for us, people put out the fire we started, people dragged us up out of the ditch and saved us. We ruminated that this night might be part of some cyclical karma and in another, parallel world, we had saved our own asses.
<br>
<br>
We went back inside and crawled into bed and held eachother, we were both a little unnerved. After we had calmed down for a while, M asked if I wanted to make love. I said yes, and we began to embark on a very healing and spiritual, sexual journey. Those hours are so dreamlike to my memory. It went something like this:
<br>
<br>
I don't know if anyone else experiences this, but when I get tickled, I laugh and squeal, but underneath there is a real feeling of fear, like someone is coming too close to a sacred or private place, physically as well as mentally. M began to tickle me on my stomach, and I got that feeling, and I used the LSD to push past that feeling of fear (or let him into it). What I felt then made me cry, and then I would laugh again, and then push him away when I needed to rest (pushing past fear takes a lot of energy). After a minute or so I would let him back in, and this cycle of crying and laughing and gasping continued for about half an hour, and it began to bring up all this cruddy, phlegmy stuff that had been in my lungs for weeks (I can't cough like I used to), and I could breathe much better. Then we proceeded to take the energy we had built up into our hands, and our hands danced together, pushing waves of energy back and forth between us. Then we talked about some issues in our sex life that had been festering since we got into the car accident. And after all this, I felt so completely husked clean and light. M setteled down to go to sleep, but I was not so lucky.
<br>
<br>
I have always had a hard time sleeping after an LSD trip, and this was no exception. My mind started up with the circle of thoughts, over and over, and when I tried to go to sleep it felt like once I slipped over taht thin line between sleep and wake some vital function would stop, like my heart or breathing. I began to wonder if the LSD was having some sort of reaction with my other medications (Neurontin for nerve pain and an antibiotic). I would slip in and out of this paranoia, in which I though if I fell asleep I would die. I kept waking M up and asking him to tell me I was OK, but he kept falling back to sleep. I finally decided that since I was thinking I would die if I fell asleep, I just wouldn't
<br>
sleep right now. The logical part of my brain knew that things would be ok and all I had to do was ride it out, I figured I only had about two hours left until baseline. So I woke M up once more and asked him to set up the TV and VCR so I could distract myself and stay awake, which he gladly did.
<br>
About halfway into my movie I began to experience back pain, and I thought, 'Oh great, here we go,'. I tried not to think about too much because I knew that would make the pain worse. This was pretty much the only thing I was worried about with LSD and my new body, and it was showing up. On MDMA and 2-CB the only physical effects I got were increased spasms and stiffness in my legs. I got those on LSD too, in addition to back pain.
<br>
<br>
Despite me efforts to distract myself, the pain kept getting progressively
<br>
worse until I could not move. When I moved, or if the bedsheet was moved over my legs and feet, the spasms in my back would twitch in protest. But I had to turn myself over every few hours, and this was excruciating. By about noon the day after we dropped, I still could not move without pain. M brought me food in bed, and more movies. I began to worry when I found the back pain did not leave my body even though I was no longer high.
<br>
At about 6pm I was turning myself over again, but this time when I did it the pain in my back just about tripled. Now, there was a small part of me that was really intrigued by all this, especially when I found I could feel the shooting pain all the way down my right leg (read: I could _feel_ my right leg). But by now both M and I were really worried, and we tried to call all our friends that knew anything about muscules and massage but no one was home. We contemplated taking me to the hospital but we didn't know how, since every movement made me cry out in pain. So M got a cold pack out of the freezer and put it on one particularly nasty, spasming muscle.
<br>
By this time I had been awake for almost 36 hours, and despite the pain I found myself finally passing out.
<br>
<br>
When I woke up about 4 hours later the pain had lessened to the point where I could turn over again. Then I went back to sleep. All in all I was in bed for about a day and a half. The pain gradually let up, although it did take about 3 more days to feel completely normal again.
<br>
<br>
The whole trip was a incredible rollercoaster ride, and I have decided that because of the pain, I will never take LSD again. But I do not regret this trip. The spiritual awakening between M and I was well worth it. Plus, I got to scratch another drug off my 'first time in the new body' list. I am anxious to try salvia, DMT and I may be getting fungus soon. Wish me luck.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2001</td><td width="90">ExpID: 8757</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Not Specified</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 14, 2004</td><td>Views: 12,246</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=8757&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=8757&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Sex Discussion (14), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">6 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
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I wanted to inform you of my own experiences after reading your article, <a href="/chemicals/lsd/lsd_info6.shtml">'LSD and Color Blindness'</a>.
<br>
<br>
I am 23 and have been experimenting with drugs and pharmaceuticals since I was 9. However, the one drug that I have always shied away from is LSD. There are 2 main reasons for this. Firstly, I do not believe that I have a psyche designed to cope with psychedelics; and secondly, when I was 14, my best friend had a bad trip and shot himself in the head, infront of me and his parents. This latter factor, I believed would always mar any trip that I may undertake.
<br>
<br>
However, that said, I recently decided to indulge my brain in a little flight of fantasy. Admittedly, when it comes to drugs, I am a little impatient for the results and expecting an MDMA style 'come-up' (without the rushes, obviously), I got carried away and ended up having six tabs in the space of an hour.
<br>
<br>
Initially, the primary effect was the sense of being almost weightless with the combined impression that it was MY gravitational pull that was keeping the Earth in place. Because of the fact that I began my indulgence at two o'clock in the morning, the forest I was in was very dark. Therefore my visual distortions were not much greater than those experienced after three days awake under the influence of Methamphetamines. However, the arrival of dawn heralded the greatest visual experience I could have ever imagined; For the first time in my life, I saw colour.
<br>
<br>
I am at the extreme end of the colour blindness scale, not quite monochrome, but close enough for me to misinterpret all but the most vivid of colours. Yet under the influence of LSD, my colour perceptions began to heighten. At first, I put this down to mere visual hallucinations, but steadily I began to notice, for the first time a difference in appearance between the leaves of a tree and its bark. Attempting to study this difference was at first difficult, due to the fact that the leaves were consistently changing into birds, faces, cakes, kites, etc... Once I had become accustomed to the intensely visual nature of the drug, I started to explore my surroundings in more depth.
<br>
<br>
Until this point, I had always relied upon the shade of an object to determine its colour; placing it into a 'grouping', such as red/green/brown, blue/purple/pink, orange/yellow/light-green and so on. During my LSD experience, it began to determine between what I can only describe as the 'hues' of colour. My inability to be any clearer is not due to lack of observation, but due to lack of reference point. Indeed, during one moment of intense elation, I remember giggling wildly, weeping at nature's real beauty and talking directly to the colours saying, 'I can see you, but I don't know what to call you...!'
<br>
<br>
I then began to slip into a period of contentment and after a couple of hours of manic laughter, playing with the grass, the trees, the sky and my friends' face, I decided to calm down a little and begin a serious study of the effects upon my colour perception. Therefore, I initiated my friend into my experiments and we began testing with whatever was available. The most bizarre element to these experiments was the need to spend an hour learning all of the colours from scratch. One I had a visual reference point, he tested me with various items, such as coloured pencils, leaves and magazines. We even attempted an online Ishihara Test for Colour Blindness, once we had retired indoors, but this was not successful due to the fact that the dots continually morphed into one another.
<br>
<br>
After several hours, my friend, who has unimpaired colour vision, determined that I could indeed see colour.
<br>
<br>
However, due to the horrific and terrifying self-examination of the inner workings of my mind and the dark passages within, that occurred in the final six hours of my experience, I have decided that should I indulge again, I shall be a little more reserved with regards to my dosage.
<br>
<br>
I have also come to the conclusion that I do not like the colour brown...!
<br>
<br>
The only lasting effect I had with regards to colour sight was a deep longing to have it back...!
<br>
<br>
<br>
Ezekial Mordecai Kiss
<br>
<br>
P.s. I am able to spell, but here in the UK, we place a 'u' in 'colour'<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 28394</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 13, 2003</td><td>Views: 71,894</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=28394&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=28394&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Health Benefits (32), Difficult Experiences (5)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 6:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 7:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:59</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/chlorpromazine/">Pharms - Chlorpromazine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Too many people have been asking me, and I'm tired of just telling people, piece by piece, the story, so I'm going to get it all out. Please understand, this is really hard for me, because it is basically a recording of my innermost thoughts, feelings, and ways of life to the core. If you don't know what I'm about to talk about, let me give you some background...
<br>
<br>
On Friday, June 1st I overdosed on acid. At about 4 PM, I took three tabs (hits, or whatever you want to call them) of acid or LSD. Whatever you want to refer to it as. Later that night, I took another tab at 10 PM, and another at 11:30. That's five total. I had a life-changing experience/journey/nightmare/mind warp and here is the account:
<br>
<br>
I'm not exaggerating any of this, it may sound a bit unbelievable, but that's why it had such an impact on me.
<br>
<br>
At first I was just questioning reality. Which we will refer to as the 'it' for the remainder of this writing. I was thinking about the fact that I am in an endless game, or a puzzle rather. I realized it's a puzzle, because if it were solved, I wouldn't be here, in this reality, right now. And I'm stuck here at least till the day I die. Yeah, this doesn't sound like much, but I came to this SHOCKINGLY and fully understood it to the point where it was driving me insane because there really is no way to know what reality is. I experienced that. At the time, I was going off talking about it endlessly (don't forgot the drugs I was on) and then my friend Paul said, 'Yeah, if you say it's true, prove it.' I said, 'What?????' He said, 'If you're so sure that it's true, then prove it, pull the trigger.'
<br>
<br>
Let me tell you, in this state of mind, that statement went straight to the bottom of my soul. It got me into a psychotic method of thinking. I started talking about it more. I realized that if I REALLY understood reality, I would cease to exist. There would be no point in my being here. I also couldn't stop thinking about the gun. I soon realized that there's nothing before the gun. (Life.) There's nothing after the gun. (Death.) And there really is no gun in the first fucking place, because I couldn't do it. I couldn't solve the puzzle. It's the big unknown, going off the deep end, and without the knowledge of what will lie behind the gun (death), I couldn't pull the trigger. It's some scary shit.
<br>
<br>
The other most horrifying realization that I came to was that whether I liked it or not, this reality, this world, and everyone and everything in it is all in my head. Because there is no real way of knowing, I just kind of have to accept it. It's the whole 'Matrix' idea. Who's to say that we're not just some weird creature having a dream or some shit. Or that we're not just lying in an incubator and this reality is just our subconscious? I realized that it may or may not be all in my head. And that I may never know. So I just accept the puzzle. I accept the illusion. If I didn't want or even NEED to accept the illusion, I would just pull the trigger.
<br>
<br>
Also, you have to know that at the time, I was hardcore studying Buddhism to the point where I took a vow, and all this other stuff, and I was basically a Buddhist. If you're not familiar with Buddhist or eastern philosophy in general, just know that there is a HUGE emphasis on nothingness. The fact that nothing really exists.
<br>
<br>
This was something else I realized. Since everything is in my head, physical existence must be bullshit too. Therefore, physical shit ceased to matter. Everything ceased to matter. Nothing mattered. Because nothing existed at that point. All I knew was that my mind existed. Because when you take away physical possessions, even when you take away people whether they are made up by your mind or not, when you take everything away, even life, you are left only with your mind, naked and unprotected.
<br>
<br>
This is basically the Buddhist concept of Enlightenment or Realization or Awakening. The full extinguishing of deluding passions and material things. So BAM, I was a Buddha. (Buddha means enlightened person.) It's not that I THOUGHT I was a Buddha, I very much WAS a Buddha. I was the happiest I have ever been in my life because I realized that nothing mattered. That nothing existed. The concept of nothingness was fully understood.
<br>
<br>
But there was a problem.
<br>
<br>
It didn't last. I thought about it too much and then stuff started to matter. I started caring once again about material things and a lot of other shit and it all came crumbling down. I have climbed the mountain, stood on the peak, and then fell the FUCK off of it.
<br>
<br>
Shortly thereafter, I fully understood the meaning of life. I realized that the only reason human life existed was to be happy. I also realized something else. I realized that all of my (and the rest of the world's) actions and even drug use is only done to be happy. And then it came back to me. I said to myself, 'Wait. If all I really know is myself, and my mind, WHY THE FUCK AM I FUCKING IT UP WITH DRUGS???!!@#!' I realized that my mind was the most sacred and precious thing ever, because it is the only thing that I REALLY REALLY actually KNOW exists. Like I said, take away material possessions, and you end up only with your mind.
<br>
<br>
One thing I have to point out is that before I came to all of these conclusions (mainly between 1 AM and 11 AM), I was walking around and seeing the negative emotions of people come out. I saw people's fear, anxiety, all that shit, and it hurt. I compare it to the story of Jesus taking on the sins of the world. I looked at everyone, strangers, friends, whoever. And FELT their sadness, or their insecurity. And I've never felt so bad in my entire life. What was even worse was because I had realized that my mind was so precious, I saw my friends later that night that had just taken some acid, and that just overwhelmed me. And to this day it overwhelms me, because I just want to tell everyone that your mind is all you know, and why fuck that up??? That's horrible.
<br>
<br>
That's pretty much all the important stuff. Later on, I was actually starting to go insane (seriously) because I kept questioning reality over and over and I wasn't able to accept the illusion anymore. I was getting very psychotic and it started to get really frightening.
<br>
<br>
The rest of the story is just me having an extremely hard and frightening time trying to get back into reality and eventually having to take Thorazine (a drug hospitals give to people that have overdosed on acid) to stop thinking so much and get to sleep. (I couldn't sleep even when I was trying REALLY hard.)
<br>
<br>
That's pretty much it, but here's where I am now...
<br>
<br>
A couple days after that, while I was still recovering, I had to accept the illusion for good, while I was sober. I had to accept that I didn't know what reality was or is, and that all I know is my mind. And that I'm alone whether I like it or not. And when I realize that, it's frightening, and bad, and extremely lonely. And I broke down and cried for three hours.
<br>
<br>
So I've decided to get clean now. No more mood-altering drugs for me. I now have an amazing understanding of humanity or lack thereof, probably due to my connection with everyone's negative emotions during my experience. It still really hurts me to see everyone messing up their minds with drugs and shit. Especially my best friends. But there's nothing I can really do. They'll have to find out on their own. I just hope they don't have to go through what I went through. And all in all, despite it's good results in my life and mentality in general, I wish it never would have happened in the first place. It was literally hell and about half an hour of heaven. The best and worst I've ever felt in my entire life, all in the same 48 hours.
<br>
<br>
And that's the truth. That's all we, or I really know for sure. Myself.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2001</td><td width="90">ExpID: 8371</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 21, 2004</td><td>Views: 16,297</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=8371&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=8371&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Overdose (29), Bad Trips (6)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:40</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">30 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/2cc/">2C-C</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">16 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/2ci/">2C-I</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 6:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/diazepam/">Pharms - Diazepam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 7:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">40 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/fluoxetine/">Pharms - Fluoxetine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">190 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
These drugs are a beautiful combination! I'm very familiar with most drugs and feel I use them (relatively) responsibly, including the absolute necessity of knowing HOW MUCH I am taking, e.g. using a very accurate scale. Anyway, I prepared for the journey with 2400mg Piracetam, Ginseng, Gingko Biloba, 100mg 5-HTP, 1000mg Tyrosine, and 1000mg DLPA. Drove to the Getty Museum in LA with my girlfriend and as soon as I got there took 5 hits of extremely weak acid (probably closer to 2 hits?) followed 40 min. later by the 2C-C. Once I felt the effects of the acid kicking in, I swallowed the 2C-I so as to combine the peaks of the two drugs. My girlfriend took 18mg 2C-I only. Here's the quick breakdown:
<br>
<br>
+0:00 take LSD on chewing gum
<br>
+0:40 30mg 2C-C
<br>
+1:00 16mg 2C-I
<br>
+1:45 starting to peak? wow, great body feeling, colors!
<br>
+2:30-6:00 long, amazing, transcendent peak
<br>
+6:00 20mg diazepam
<br>
+7:30 residual effects of acid, nice mellow comedown
<br>
<br>
I've wanted to trip at this museum for a long time. For anyone not familiar, the Getty is amazing! First of all, its on a hill overlooking Los Angeles with beautiful architecture, secluded, and a garden that rivals many of the famous museums in Europe... These drugs were the perfect combination for experiencing the museum. I've done LSD plenty and 2C-I 3 times prior to this trip, but never in combination, and this was my first taste of 2C-C. Wow! The 2C's clean up the visuals of the acid so that color is super pronounced, but without much radical morphing (which can be fun, but I enjoyed the more subtle fluidity of this combination). Feels kind of like candyflipping, 2C-I definitely has the E feel, but much more clearheaded (I actually liked this combination better than candyflipping; seems closer to “reality” while equally intense). The rush of serotonin sometimes felt overwhelming, the same 'dripping' sensation as E, but I never felt anything in the way of anxiety, possibly due to the reported relaxing effect of 2C-C. How to explain this combination? I felt 'normal' while tripping very hard, which is perfect for a public place. The paintings jumped off the walls, and the impressionist paintings, Monet, Pissaro, Van Gogh !!! This is how these works of art were meant to be seen!! The colors so profound; glimpses into Eden... And the garden: wow! Laying in the grass, watching children and examining the flowers, talking with my girlfriend, closed eye visuals... many moments of transcendence.
<br>
<br>
Layers of mental filters were stripped away. The peak was relatively stable, very long lasting, and never became overwhelming. After taking a Valium to ease the comedown, I feel extremely hungry. Considering the intensity and beauty of these drugs, I wonder: is it too good? am I doing damage to my brain? I came down gently as the museum was closing for the day, and when we got back to the car me and my girlfriend both took 40mg each of Prozac, figuring it might protect our brains similar to Ecstasy (considering the 'similarities'). Before more is known about 2C-I, I'd like to be as safe as possible. Very tired afterward, but no negative side effects that I noticed. Overall, an amazing experience!<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2004</td><td width="90">ExpID: 34677</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 26, 2004</td><td>Views: 41,505</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=34677&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=34677&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), 2C-I (172), 2C-C (262), Pharms - Diazepam (115), Pharms - Fluoxetine (80) : Glowing Experiences (4), Nature / Outdoors (23), Personal Preparation (45), Combinations (3), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">60 oz</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Beer/Wine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:40</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">10 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:40</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(ground / crushed)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">159 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This day started off as any normal day. I had gone by my friend Ryan's work to see how he was doing. We chilled there for a bit then he asked me what are you doing tonight. I said man we can do whatever you want. He said 'Well man I'll call you and you can come over to my brothers house, we are going to get messed up over there tonight.' I thought to myself damn its going to be one of those nights. Little did I know what kind of night I was getting myself into. Me and my friend Ryan had been talking about doing acid for about a month now. I told him that I have done shrooms and it was great. His older brother Shawn said he had done acid, but it had been almost 3 years since. I was at my house when Ryan called on this Friday night, he said man you will never guess what I got, Acid he replied. 'Get your ass over here,' he said. I went over there that night, that was the biggest mistake I've ever made.
<br>
<br>
When I walked through the door Ryan handed me a six pack of beer. I drank five of them in about 30 min then out came the acid. I was very scared to take it, I kept thinking damn I have heard some bad shit about this, but I thought oh well who cares, so I took two hits, along with Shawn and Ryan. Directly after that this girl said I have some KB (kind Bud) lets smoke. I was all up for that , we hit that bong countless times. I would say somewhere around 8-10 each. It had been about 40 min since I had taken the acid. Around 10:10 pm I started to see tracers and just felt great. There was a girl named Laura with Shawn she knew of all these little cool things to do to enhance the trip. Things like reach for the devil, and running through the forest. How was I to know I would soon to be right with the devil. There were 7 people there, 3 of which I had just yet met. One of the girls pulled out about 25 tabs of X and I was like of man I have got to do one of them. At this time I was feeling the effects of the acid way over the weed and alcohol. I took one exctasy tab and waited for the effects from that. About 30 min after that tab I took one more, then another, then me and Ryan snorted one.
<br>
<br>
About 15 min after that, the feeling I had was the best thing I have ever felt. The acid made me see life in a whole new perspective. I could hear every little peep throughout the condo we were in. All colors were awesome to me. I just wanted to touch everything. I was like a little lost 3 year old in a new world. The 3 people I did not know stayed in the kitchen most of the time. Shawn , Ryan and I sat in the living room trying to describe what we were feeling. I could slowly start to feel a funny feeling. The sounds were starting to bother me and then the very sight of people started to mess with my mind. I remember people coming up and asking are you cool man, I thought they were all after me trying to hurt me. I just wanted to be alone. I went and asked someone is this what happens on this shit (acid), they said man trust me its the acid taken effect. While that girl told me that I was looking over her shoulder at a picture with a man holding a fork and a plate. His eyes were red with blood so I turned away just walking away from this girl while she talked to me.
<br>
<br>
At that point I could not talk to anyone or look at them. Everyone’s eyes would fill up with blood and then run down there face. The blood would come out from their noses and mouths also. I could not believe this was happening. Everywhere I looked I saw blood. I got out of that room trying to be by myself, I just wanted to be alone. The visual images I saw were so horrific that I honestly am in chills right now and my eyes are filled with tears, I am being serious. I am not tying to add drama so don’t think that. Anyway back to the story. I saw my friend Shawn lying on the couch, I crawled towards him on the floor so he could not see me, I was afraid he would try to grab me. As I peeked over the couch I saw Shawn gasping for air and then the blood came from his eyes and mouth again like before , I wanted to help him , he was suffering, but I was to scared to reach out and touch him. I jumped up and ran for help 'I said Shawn’s dying to everyone' they came running and looked at me and said man Shawn’s fine dude, he taking a nap chill out. The acid made me see horrible things. I kept trying to get Ryan to stay close because I did not want him to die. Then I knew everyone was going to kill me. I honestly can say that I saw the devil he talked to me while I sat in the chair in the living room. He was covered in blood. He was telling me I would be here for ever I could not respond to him I was in shock and torment. I really wanted to die right then.
<br>
<br>
Everyone was in the kitchen and I was the only one in the living room. Ryan said that I was freaking out so bad that nobody could stand to be around me, I just thought they were in there planning a way to kill me and hide my body. I tried to compose myself and watch TV. Bad mistake, I just saw people dying, blood, death, Satan, knives, sharp objects, look the best way to put it is that was having the most evil, and supernatural experience possible. It was probably 4 in the morning when Ryan got me stable enough to go up stairs and try to sleep, key word, TRY. I went in that room and sat the rest of the morning on the floor praying to God to end this for me, I prayed to God that if he would make it all stop then I would never do anything again ever. For the next 5 hours I laid there feeling things touch me all over, where I was laying on the floor was a huge pile of sweet and tears. I cried so much but I was so afraid to be loud because I thought the evil would hear me and come up to get me. I was left alone in that room to cope with the terror and depression by myself for 5 hours. I never said one word the whole time I was in there.
<br>
<br>
Since that happened 3 weeks ago I have found God , I have not even smoked a cigarette or touched one drug or anything bad since. I don’t want to do anything ever again. This experience cause me to lock all my doors during the day, I check behind doors and I have to keep all the lights on in the house at night. I have been over to Shawn’s apartment 10 or so times since that night but I am so afraid to be there, I feel a strange presence in that condo. I feel like all his pictures are still looking at me and they know what happened that night. I couldn't be alone at night for the first week afterwards. I asked Ryan if he would talk on the phone at night along with various other people, they did and I thank them for it , because I would not have made it with out them. That was my first and last time with acid. I should not have mixed so many hard drugs together. I felt the effects of the acid for two days later.
<br>
<br>
My advice to people wanting to try acid is that I wouldn't do it, although everyone’s body reacts differently, and I just had a bad, bad trip. Acid will take you to places you have never seen so I am not saying don’t try it, just know from my experience what could happen. I am a changed man since that night, that truly was a night I spent with the devil.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2001</td><td width="90">ExpID: 9838</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 3, 2004</td><td>Views: 38,815</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=9838&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=9838&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">MDMA (3), LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Post Trip Problems (8), Hangover / Days After (46), Entities / Beings (37), Mystical Experiences (9), Bad Trips (6), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">190 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It was two nights ago, having been awake for over thirty hours, very depressed, kicked out of my parents home earlier that day and desperately needing something to keep me awake because I had no place to sleep, I decided to take two hits of LSD with “Spider-Man” on the blotter. For a long time now I've told myself I'd never trip again because of how depressed I've been and how badly my life was thrown off track by taking too much acid before, but the other night I threw everything down and said, “Fuck it.”
<br>
<br>
11:55 (T + 00:00): I felt the body effects almost minutes after I let the blotters soak under my tongue and by 12:25 (T + 00:30) I was just inches off the ground. Watched Blade with two other guys, one also tripping and one falling asleep – had huge smile on face, feeling like a vampire; feeling like I was the night-life here to suck the blood out of the day. After a while me and my tripper companion P took off to two friend’s parent's house. In the car ride (with a sober driver) I was having the most intense closed-eye visuals ever, most likely from the lack of sleep on top of the drug. I was seeing a star-burst of five slithering, flowing, snakes, all having a spiral of flames circling around them in the most sharp, vivid colors of blue, green, yellow and red. They were pulling me up and giving me fuel and energy.
<br>
<br>
Out of the car to the most beautiful house I've ever seen. It was in the country, in the back yard D, A and another were sitting next to a glowing fire-pit sipping drinks next to an in-ground pool with many lights on the side and a horse-house with two horses way out back. I gazed into the glowing coals of the fire and saw the most stunning and breathtaking hues of flame-blue. Drank a few margaritas and stared at the empty wine-glass. Nothing but a drop of the drink and a little bit of salt in the glass I began to turn the glass. I noticed how the water carried the salt and dropped it. I started to make random droppings of salt all along the inside of the glass in a slow spiraling pattern, realizing that I was ‘creating stars . . . creating universes’ and that all we are just people, spinning around the salt that is residue from somebody who is just ‘spinning the glass.’
<br>
<br>
In the bathroom I stared into the mirror . . . I saw somebody whom I didn't even know, I saw his flesh rot off and decompose and then he began to re-evolve right before my eyes. The weird noises that the toilet made was definitely setting the mood of the situation – kind of a Nine Inch Nails-type thing. I was shaking profusely from the fatigue and the drug and I finally closed my eyes and stepped away.
<br>
<br>
After spending quite some time writing, staring at the stars and night clouds, thinking of my ex-girlfriend and how badly I was addicted to her, unable to pull myself away from her image, from the emotion she makes boil up inside of me. I slowly sank back into reality, realized I was in a place I haven't been before and didn't know where (in the city) it was. I asked for a ride to my parents house so I could go back home.
<br>
<br>
4:30 am (T + 5:35): I arrived home, broke in and went up to my bedroom to write a letter to my ex-girlfriend of two months who I was involved with for four years, very depressed, still tripping very hard from my second peak, I wrote, feeling that she was the essence of my life, that I would either die or commit suicide without her and that she was the only thing that I could spend my life with.
<br>
<br>
Staring at my ceiling fan with the light turned on I had the most astounding open eye visuals. I've never really had consistent full-frontal open eye visuals from LSD before and this was about my 17th time tripping. I saw that familiar 5 pointed burst but this time I was seeing patterns of words running down the points... I made out “grace”, “hope”, “future”, then I saw my name, changing into lightning bolts, veins, cartoon-faces and shapes, all in the most intense and clarifying colors I've ever witnessed with my eyes open; crying the whole time.
<br>
<br>
I thought at the time I wasn’t really on the drug because it was 6:00 am (T+7:05) and my trips are always relatively short. I thought it was something that I could see all the time, just never really noticed it – very weird. After I came down I had the note I wrote to my ex and I vowed not to rest till I read it to her on the phone. I went down stairs, talked to my mother about the being out of the house, talked about my ex, my loneliness, my hope-less future, my dead-end job and pretty much how I suck.
<br>
<br>
Trip end.
<br>
<br>
I’m not going to get into the personal aspect of my day outside of the trip, but I still wonder if I had a bad trip. The first half of it I was loving it... and I was happier than I can explain, but the second half of it I was in anguish... but I still loved it because it was how I was supposed to feel under the circumstances of my life. Either way the entire experience was very productive, I got a lot of emotion out.
<br>
<br>
The funny thing about depression with LSD is that my problems seem 1,000 times what they really are. They become the possible end of life unless I can find a solution to them, I guess this is a good thing though because it pushes me hard to find a solution. I know now though, I can’t say I’ll never take acid again, but I can say I won’t take it till my life is together. Sorry for the length, it was a very long night.
<br>
<br>
“I am love, I am hate, I'm a mortal without fate.” - Maynard James Keenan<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2001</td><td width="90">ExpID: 8024</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 19, 2003</td><td>Views: 14,033</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=8024&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=8024&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Relationships (44), Depression (15), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 bowls</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
One evening this summer, a friend (we'll call her Jan) and I went to visit a different friend of mine (and we'll call him Joe). Joe and I decided that we wanted to trip on acid. Joe had just bought about ten sugar cubes and decided that he would pop one right then, as we were sitting in the parked car w/ nowhere in particular to go. I chose to take one then as well, feeling comfortable w/ Joe as my trip partner because he is much more experienced with drugs than I am, and had tripped on acid before. This was to be my first time. Unfortunately, though, Joe's mom called him home about an hour after we popped the cubes so I was left to face the trip with the company of my extremely stoned friend Jan, who had no experience with acid herself. I wasn't too concerned, as I could feel that the acid wasn't going to be very strong (though I had not done acid before, I had experienced several incredibly intense mushroom trips, and knew that the effects I was feeling were minimal).
<br>
<br>
Jan and I went back to my house, and on the way I decided to take the second cube I had purchased. The rest of the ride was the most intense part of trip, but was limited to changing colors and an incredibly interesting truck, which vaguely resembled a spaceship, in front of me which we followed nearly all the way home. Upon the arrival at my house the effects were already more mild. I grew bored and decided to try dancing. Wow. Even though it wasn't strong acid, I clearly understand why people on acid like to rave.... so I danced, illustrating the music with my movements, feeling incredibly blithe and smooth. This was so much fun, I kept at it for nearly an hour before I decided to open my front door and see what it was like out there. It was cold (around fifty maybe), but since I'd been dancing my body temperature was very high and i was sweating profusely, so it felt really nice. I began running around, barefoot in shorts and a tank top, sweating and giddy and full of adrenaline, so very happy.... I stayed out there, exerting myself like an olympic athlete, for another half an hour or so before going back in.
<br>
<br>
I was flushed and extremely hot to the touch, and decided I needed some water. I drank about nine tall glasses without a thought, guzzled them down in extreme thirst. My body temperature began to drop at this point, or i had a fever.... I don't quite know... but I put on my sweater, noticing the cramping in my muscles, and just decided to chill out, assuming I'd be fine, that this was normal after such activities. I decided to keep a nice intoxication going as the acid wore off, so I smoked two bowls with Jan. I didn't start to worry about the symptons I'd been having until I felt an intense pain beginning at the top of my skull that wouldn't go away. It felt like the top of my brain was exploding, and I could feel the blood was pounding very, very hard when I touched my head. I began to feel very nervous, as this didn't feel like any headache I'd ever had. The pain grew worse, and I felt colder. I reclined on my bed and wrapped myself in a thick comforter. My heart rate at this point was so fast and yet sort of faint, like my heart was working very hard to pump the blood as fast as it could, and the pulse was light.
<br>
<br>
At this point, I am feeling very nervous. I start to feel like I'm blacking out. My vision goes very screwy, like electric looking and the stripes on my blanket, which are pale pink, appeared to be neon, highlighter green green, though I know this is not a tripping sensation, this is a scary phyiscal illness sensation. as the acid didn't cause much hallucination at all and I had taken the stuff hours earlier, and the trip was, for all intensive purposes, over. Thusly, I was now panicking. I don't know how to describe what I was seeing at this point, but it was as if everything was going in and out, going black and electric looking, the borders of things spreading in and out like trailing sort of, but not, like everything I saw was getting bigger and smaller and the borders were layering, the edges moving in almost a dizzy way. It was, I suppose, what happens, when you start to black out. The pain in my head was still there, and intense. So at this point, I was also having a full blown panic attack. as well. I decided maybe I was suffering from low blood sugar, and had Jan get me orange juice. I drank a bunck of that, and had something little to eat.
<br>
<br>
I found that sitting up eased the feeling that I was losing consciousness. Afeter a while, my body temperature began to come back to normal. Though I'd told Jan at one point that I thought I should be in a hospital, she just sat there stoned, so I was lucky I started to come back to myself. At one point, I found that being touched helped a lot, so I had her keep her hand on my ankle. I was terrified the whole time, and sort of angry at Jan because she started to say she had to go home to sleep when this was all still happening, though I didn't let her because i didn't want to be alone (and was really unnerved she'd even think of leaving me like that to begin with). Eventually I let her leave, as i started to feel a bit better and confident I was going to continue feeling better rather than worse. Once after she left I felt like I was blacking out again, but than I felt better. Never, never trip without someone you know you can trust. I think if i hadn't known how to basically take care of myself (based on sense) I could have fared much worse.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2004</td><td width="90">ExpID: 35940</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 18, 2004</td><td>Views: 16,044</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=35940&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=35940&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Bad Trips (6), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gel tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">160 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Thinking back over my experiences I feel compelled to submit this one in regards to my most notable LSD experience. A few years ago I'd begun taking LSD and very much enjoyed it. Unlike mushrooms I never felt 'weirded-out' or overwhelmed. Acid feels to me like I'm zooming around, alone, in my own mind without the 'E.T./higher intelligence/teaching' aspect that goes with mushrooms.
<br>
<br>
At any rate I aquired 5 green geltabs which were very highly recommended to me. I started with 2 of them at about 11:00 P.M. with a roomate who was coming down from MDMA and almost ready to go to sleep. The acid came on very intensely and I was quickly inundated with colorful geometric patterns that surged forth from everything around me. Quite enthused at this I gleefully took the remaining 3 as my roomate went off to bed.
<br>
<br>
The trip quickly progressed to outlandish proportions and I found myself writhing about on the floor in ecstasy--the somatic pleasure a large dose of clean acid can induce is remarkable! I had managed to turn on some electronic music before I became completely overwhelmed and as I lay there tried to get into it, however was unable due to the magnitude of the experience. I was tripping 'in between' the single moments of the music such that it had no coherence and the song was essentially unrecognizable. Between each note was occuring an enormous amount of visual and 'meta-cognitive' activity such that I was simply too distracted to hear the music.
<br>
<br>
Sometime thereafter I was flooded with massive, reveletory perceptions of 'eternal cosmic well-being' and began laughing uncontrollably and blurting out things like 'It's okay!!! Everythings going to be okay!!!' etc etc. At this point my roomate emerged and was upset as he claimed I was very loud and so he couldn't sleep. Finally I managed to get a semblance of a grip on myself and promised to keep quiet. This was nearly impossible and so I resorted to hiding behind the couch and smothering my laughter with a pillow.
<br>
<br>
Eventually the laughter subsided and I then (for some reason) grappled with the TV until it turned on. At this point the trip reached an intensity previously unknown to me and I began truly *hallucinating*. In my life this had never happened and hasn't since that day. What I was watching on TV was in no way what would be viewed by a 'sober' person. Giant Mardi-Gras style parade floats with dancing Japanese soldier's batons took the place of a typical scene and at this point the 'education' began. During the next couple of hours I watched as the history of humanity, and, primarily, the oppression of women was displayed to me. Alongside these fantastic, kaleidoscopic colored 'super-beings'(who seemed composed of light-energy or some such substance) were black-and-white scenes of horrible, disfigured masses of humanity racing along. The split was remarkable between the two. Intermittenly these female 'super-beings' with these outrageous tentacle-things coming out of their heads would appear and explain the course of humanity to me. It was explained that evolution was the 'name of the game' and that we were moving toward becoming these fantastic beings ourselves.
<br>
<br>
All this was occurring through the TV and not through some manner of 'channeling' of information through my mind (ala mushrooms). The beauty and 'awesome-ness' of the 'super-beings' was as intense as the horror and abject gruesome-ness of the black-and-white inmages that poured from the TV like a VCR tape running at 2X speed. It was like a massive cosmic crash-course in the past and (maybe) future path of humanity. I have since found that watching TV while 'tripping' is, invariably, a bad thing...
<br>
<br>
This is extra-ordinarily difficult for me to explain in this write-up what I experienced so try to make sense of it. The entire room was basked in a white-ish light and the feeling to me was that something MAJOR/HUGE was occuring right then. That THE 'big thing' was happening and I was totally overwhelmed with the cosmicity of it all. I'd shut my eyes and feel like I was flying toward/through a narrow evolutionary filter--which was at once frightening and astonishing to me. At around this time I also had rather serious revelations about myself and that I needed to resolve my own conflicts and issues--it all pointed back at me whenever I looked elsewhere for the causes of my misery and unhappyness in life. My ego was shown to be something that was 'in the way' of this.
<br>
<br>
Needless to say I was quite unsettled by this experience and it took sometime for the earth-shaking revelations to 'assimilate'. And no, I wasn't 'enlightened' from then onward and in fact found the magnitude of the revelations too large to incorporate practically in my life (coupled with a lack of desire to, among other issues). I haven't taken LSD since then and not because I don't enjoy it, but because it's simply too 'mind-opening', like cracking an egg with a mallet or some such thing. I find it to be too 'open-ended' and leaves me like a ball of yarn that's been unwound. This is for high doses though and I'm sure that more prudent amounts would be more manageable to me if I'm ever so inclined again. Other Tryptamines can have the same effect but I find that they often seem to bring me into contact with the aformentioned 'higher-intelligence-mind-info-channeling' thing that, although a bit creepy and 'weird' at times, can serve to guide and teach me in a more 'restrained' fashion...<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1999</td><td width="90">ExpID: 10013</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 29, 2004</td><td>Views: 9,902</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=10013&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=10013&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Entities / Beings (37), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">135 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I had tripped many times on LSD and had had the absolute most best experiences of my life. Then one time I took an unexpectedly strong dose and got a little too fucked up. After one bad trip I could never trip the same since.
<br>
<br>
My usual dose of acid was always just one or two hits of blotter if it was of decent potency. One new years eve though, some new acid came along and I had no idea how strong it was. I took three which was too much for me because it ended up being the most potent acid ever witnessed in the area. I took the acid and went out to get a few people to go to this house party for new years. What I first noticed was how incredibly quick it started to hit me. I started getting comments on my huge pupils and what not and thought to myself, 'what the fuck? Didn't I only take this shit like 10 minutes ago?' Anyways I was feeling wacked like 15-20 mins in. The realization that I took a little too much for my own good started to set in by the time I got to the party. It was only like an hour or so into it that I felt more messed up than I have ever felt before.
<br>
<br>
The party turned out to be a bad spot. A lot of assholes were there. Most of the acceptable people didn't show up. And to make matters worse the assholes were pissy for some reason, like they couldn't get the drugs they wanted or some shit. I started to get real bad vibes from the party. I should have left but I kept trying to cope and get over it. It just got worse and worse. I started to get drilled by these really intense waves of...hard to explain. Its like an overwhelming feeling kept fucking me up in a quick succession of waves. Some idiot found out I was tripping and started making these stupid faces at me and spinning a pool stick around at me. I wanted to kill him. With that I broke out in a heavy sweat and the nausea started. It started to get pretty crazy visually and the nausea was horrible. First time to get sick like that off acid. Made me as well as others confused. They knew I was in a bad state. No one seemed to ever hear of acid nausea like that.
<br>
<br>
I went in the bathroom to puke but just couldn't. Trying to barf just tripped me out. I was becoming so overwhelmed with awful feelings, fear, paranoia, betrayal(like the acid turned on me) and panic. I didn't know what to do! It was so intense! I made the mistake of telling one guy I wanted to call an ambulance to come help me, though I wasn't really going to. That would've made matters worse, I had to stick through it either way. So this idiot goes out to everybody and says 'hey guys! He's in there really fucked up, probably going to die! He says he's gonna phone the ambulance!' This caused a lot of alarm and left me to do some very unwanted explaining. Then the assholes started acting up and flicking the lights on and off and saying things like 'ha ha he's freaking out!' and one stupid bitch actually grabed me by the arm and said 'smarten up. You're not even sick, you didn't even puke. Get the fuck up and get you're act together!' I thought to myself, what the fuck is wrong with these people? They must not understand LSD. If they only knew how terrible I was inside.
<br>
<br>
The visuals became a little annoying, with massive strobing going on n shit so I kept my eyes closed only to be faced with other things. The closed eye visuals were scary, the patterns forming alarming shit so I was outta luck either way. And sound was so loud and annoying! I couldn't take it! The noise was going right through me! But there was no escaping the noise. Even if I plugged my ears or went out into the more silent outdoors, this very irritating flange was coming from inside my head. Auditory hallucinations were inescapable. I could hear fucked up shit no matter what. Could see fucked up shit no matter what. My body felt so incredibly flooded with the drug. Every speck of my body felt insanely altered. Physically and mentally. People offered me some pot to smoke but it was the first time I ever turned it down because I felt way too messed up. I think I could've managed the unusually high dose (for me anyways) so much better if it weren't for that shitty, sorry excuse for a party. Maybe it would've been an awesome trip like normal.
<br>
<br>
I ended up leaving the party several hours later to walk home by myself and when the fireworks went off I was lying in a snowbank a few minutes from my house coming down ever so slightly just waiting a little longer to go in because I was no state to be around parental figures.
<br>
<br>
Although as I was experiencing this I wished it would end, I think it to be quite fascinating looking back at it. Unfortunately I could never trip quite like I used to ever since. After multiple attempts with acid and shrooms since then, I've had some more not so pleasant experiences (though not quite so bad as that new years) and some trips were pretty fun but I could never get that original magic back. The possibility of another bad trip always rides the back of my mind. In a way I curse that night for permanently ruining my psychedelic fun, but it was a learning experience. I gained a lot of respect for that substance and realized just how incredibly powerful it actually is. People should be very cautious with that stuff.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 31517</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Mar 5, 2004</td><td>Views: 15,219</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=31517&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=31517&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Bad Trips (6), Large Group (10+) (19)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3000 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Back in my college days I had many chemist friends, who all knew how to produce different drugs. For fun they'd create some mescaline or what have you, and dose people without them knowing it. After a long lull of any acid circulation, I asked them to make some. After a couple months they came up to me with a rather large vial filled with LSD. For it I payed them $100, and asked the potency. They told me it was diluted to 100 ug a drop.
<br>
<br>
My memory of the events is rather hazy from here on in, but here's what happened. After about 2 weeks of daily meditation and constant yoga, I was ready for the experience. I decided to have a huge trip, not just the usual 3 hits or so. I counted out 30 hits, dropping them in a cup of strawberry punch. I had 2 other people in the room who would act as sitters in case something should happen, but death was unlikely.
<br>
<br>
It kicked in quickly, and hard. The moving fractals took over my entire vision. The TV screen poured out onto the carpet like a waterfall. The walls cracked and defused. Everything disappeared, even my body melted into the void that I was now in. All that was left was my conciousness, and the very basic thought process. Those who have read the Tibetan Book of the Dead or follow Buddhism at all know what I speak of. I forget the exact name of it, but it's the core of all living beings, the very essence of everything; in christianity it is refered to as the soul...but this is much too vulgar of a word to describe the transcendance I experienced.
<br>
<br>
There was nothing surrounding me, no floor, no sky, no walls, no people. Just my conciousness and the highest power that exists. The God of Gods. Everything transmitted to me was in tribal impulses that I could feel, smell, taste, see, and hear. Raw perception in all its forms. The laws of existance ceased to function, no time, no death, no birth. Every emotion you can conjur into your mind was felt simultaniously, and ten fold in strength. This transcendant state lasted for hours and hours. The sober sitters who watched said that I was pretty motionless the entire time. Alternating between rigid-looking and completely lifeless. Every now and then they said that I'd twitch or spasm, but that was it for my movement.
<br>
<br>
When my vision returned enough to make out my surroundings I was helped into bed by one of the sitters, since the other was asleep. Everything that I could see was oozing, melting, swirling, decaying, transforming. When I finally was able to form coherant words and not just grunts, I asked the sitter to put on a Ravi Shankar cd.
<br>
<br>
Total synesthia. I watched as the music came out of the speakers like a tidal wave, or like electrical mandalas floating in space. The words that I spoke randomly came out of my mouth as butterflies and other winged creatures. Things I touched were transformed into smells... an endless play on my senses ensued, relentlessly bashing my fragile concious.
<br>
<br>
The acid gave its final breath about 3 days after I first ingested it. To this day, I still experience visuals from time to time. Throughout typing this, I watched a red ball of energy bounce from key to key.
<br>
<br>
That acid trip has completely changed me as a person. I no longer view reality in any way that I did before. Since the trip I have devoted myself to Buddhism and the endless path to the ultimate truth. What I experienced was all too real to just be an effect of the LSD, it WAS the ultimate truth that does exist out there. We just need to find it somehow, we need to look past our futile perception of reality and past our basic senses. We can find the truth, but we can't find it until we start the path to it; it won't just find us, we need to find it.
<br>
<br>
'If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is - infinite'
<br>
<br>
-William Blake<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1999</td><td width="90">ExpID: 31950</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 18, 2004</td><td>Views: 15,137</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=31950&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=31950&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Multi-Day Experience (13), HPPD / Lasting Visuals (40), Mystical Experiences (9)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">16 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/2ci/">2C-I</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gel tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">145 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Mind setting: good nights sleep prior to experience.
<br>
Other prior additives: acid (extremely mild)
<br>
<br>
In beginning this night’s trip I had initially decided to start off with acid. My friend and I took equal amounts 1.5 blots each. However the acid was extremely mild. +2hrs my friend got no visualizations until he smoked pot and I got no visualizations since I am currently unable to smoke pot. I was extremely disappointed but I didn’t want to waste the night so I went over to my friends to pick up 2C-I. I had experimented with the substance before though I had never completely understood its effects.
<br>
<br>
The combination of acid with 2C-I brought about some intense visualizations.
<br>
<br>
+2.5hrs acid
<br>
+.5hrs 2CI
<br>
<br>
I am surprised to see how quickly the 2C-I seems to be kicking in. Normally it would have taken me at least an hour to get to this point on 2-CI however half an hour into it and I am definitely feeling the distortions created by 2C-I. At this point I am also seeing some intense visualizations due to acid. Though inadequate one way of describing it would be to say that the acid is changing colors and patterns to all of the images that are slightly distorted by 2-CI. My stomach definitely feels upset. I am getting some body vibes mainly centered around my stomach.
<br>
<br>
+3.5hrs acid
<br>
.1.5hrs 2-CI
<br>
<br>
My friend and I are walking around campus. It is an extremely nice day out, the moon is shining rather brightly and the sky is lit up with stars. Looking at autumn trees is incredible. I always thought that these trees had large huge tops with and always admired them without ingesting any drugs. However this is in no way prepares me for what I am about to witness. On our way back home I look down a sidewalk and see it tunneling (getting smaller to provide perspective but more quickly than ordinary day viewing). The sidewalk is lined with autumn trees (they really do exist in everyday life) however the trees have changed form. Their stumps are slightly shorter and their tops and grown huge. This makes them somewhat disproportional but at the same time makes them more beautiful. Acid adds color to every individual leaf. I think to myself that this is by far the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen.
<br>
<br>
+4.5 hours Acid
<br>
+2.5hours 2-CI
<br>
<br>
The colors created by the acid are incredibly intense. I can sort of control them but they are definitely taking a mind of their own. The shift in proportions and dimensions caused by 2-CI in combination with this fact prove to be too much new information for me to handle at one time. Though at first I seemed to somewhat control these hallucinations I am now beginning to loose control. Normally I would smoke pot but since I cant I figure that ill just have to ride the trip out.
<br>
<br>
+5hrs acid
<br>
+3.0hours 2C-I
<br>
<br>
I am feeling intense effects from both hallucinogens. I roll around the floor in delight. What seems interesting is that I seem to be back in control of both hallucinations. I go to get a glass of water to calm me down. My hands are slippery due to sweat and I think that the glass might slip out of my hand. As I think this I feel the glass slipping out of my hand, though I know for a fact that it is not. I can rationale that the strength with which I am holding it should be enough for it not to slip. However as long as I think that it’s slipping and convince myself that it might I generate a feeling of the glass slipping. It shrinks so I have to continually grip tighter. I put the glass down with fear that I might drop it. I decide to experiment around a little with this new found insight.
<br>
<br>
I hold my hand to the air blowing thorough the fan. I think that the air is blowing through my hand and not on it and to my delight this generates a feeling of the air blowing through my hand. I can feel the air inside my hand. Later I hold my head up to the fan and to my surprise I feel the air blowing right through my head!!! I am amazed. At this point I begin to feel as if I am controlling the feelings generated by 2-CI thorough thinking. The additional creativity that acid presents allows for some truly amazing experiences. Basically acid allows me to convince myself of anything and 2-CI immediately generates that feeling. My stomach still feels a little upset but I am able to ignore this.
<br>
<br>
+6hrs Acid
<br>
+4hrs 2-CI
<br>
<br>
The effects of the acid have definitely dropped but the effects of the 2-CI have now grown in intensity. I begin to wonder what it means if the hallucinations that I am creating are self controlled. I begin to wonder if these hallucinations are somewhat related to subconscious thoughts. The patterns have now almost totally faded though I can create them by trying really hard. I notice that one of my friends has slightly smaller legs in comparison to his body. Putting this and the fact that the tree stump was also smaller in comparison to the tree I begin to wonder if this is a general effect of 2-CI and decide to experiment.
<br>
<br>
I get in front of a mirror and look at my body. It is slightly distorted in many ways but this does not frighten me. I believe that I am in control of the hallucinations. I perform the following test to see if this is true:
<br>
<br>
1. I look at the mirror and examine myself thoroughly.
<br>
<br>
It seems the part that I am focusing on the most changes the most drastically.
<br>
<br>
2. I turn away from the mirror and try really hard to convince myself that I have a well built chest.
<br>
<br>
To my surprise the image in the mirror has now changed to verify this fact. I now have a larger and more built chest then before.
<br>
<br>
3. I perform more experiments involving convincing myself that I look ugly or good. Convincing myself that I have a small or large stomach and every time that I look at the mirror the image have changed to verify my conviction.
<br>
<br>
I later talk to a friend of mine that I have thought was pretty cute. We sit side by side and now not to my surprise her image is rather appealing. I am delighted at how much I can control my hallucinations.
<br>
<br>
Now I turn my attention to the images that I have been creating without prior thinking. Like the tree on acid. I believe that I created this image because I had always thought that the tree top was huge. So the tree took on that image. Since I had thought that the tree was also pretty prior to taking drugs the tree appeared in that way. What is interesting is that when I saw the tree appear really pretty I thought to myself wow that tree REALLY is beautiful. Hence the image changed to create a tree that looked even better then before. Thus through the creative aspect associated with acid and 2C-I combined I was able to create an image of what I thought was the most beautiful tree I had ever seen.
<br>
<br>
Below are some of the deductions that I came to during my trip. I wrote the above while sober (the next day) and the below while on 2C-I.
<br>
<br>
2C-I
<br>
<br>
2 c I is a very controllable hallucinogen. From my personal experience hallucinations are created through the following process.
<br>
1. The idea: Think of how something is. (How you know something to be)
<br>
2. The visual: Visual confirmation of the idea in “real life.”
<br>
<br>
For example
<br>
<br>
Take the following case. A person that looks at the mirror in everyday life (not on any drugs) may notice certain things about themselves. They may for example notice that they have a slightly well defined chest or that they have skinny or built arms. By using these simple inputs' they will create a “self image” of themselves. In some respect an image of what they think describes them in the most accurate manner to other observers. (The outside world)
<br>
<br>
Through controlled hallucinations 2C-I seems to enable one to single out and focus on any one of these desired inputs. In some regard it can be said that 2C-I seems to enable one to break down their wholly created self image, focus on any one of these simple inputs one at a time, then recreate an image that confirms their “idea” of what they look like. For example someone that believes that he or she is overweight will be able to focus on the fact that his or her stomach is large and consequently will be able form the image(hallucination) of herself with a large stomach in proportion to the extent that they believe they are fat. What is intriguing about 2C-I is the extent to which these hallucinations seem to be under the total control of ones will.
<br>
<br>
2-CI seems to give one extraordinary freedom of control in creating images. For example, if the very same person that believed that they were overweight in every day life were to focus on their stomach and convince themselves that they actually weren’t that fat, then they would create an image (hallucination) that would verify this. In other words one has to think of how something is or how something is happening in order to be able to see it. In order to be able to see any idea one simply has to be able to conceptualize it then convince them self that it is actually true. However since it is hard to wholly convince oneself of something’s existence prior to seeing it there are some inherent limitations to the hallucinations that can be generated. In this regard it can be said that hallucinations generated by 2C-I are bound by the realities of everyday life. Nonetheless, it is important to note that hallucinations that are completely detached from ordinary world are possible. For example, if one were able to be able to conceptualize shifting patterns on a carpet and convince themselves that they were true (real) then they would create an image verifying this.
<br>
<br>
It should be noted that images created by 2C-I can expand upon one another, i.e. one who is seeing patterns on a carpet can use these hallucinations in convincing himself that there are further patterns and thus will generate further visuals confirming the assumption.
<br>
<br>
Try the following experiment:
<br>
<br>
1. Stand in front of a mirror and examine yourself. Do not be shocked by the initial distortions, they are reflective of what you are currently convincing yourself to look like; they will inevitably be shifting as your conviction of what you look like changes through your inspection of your image.
<br>
2. Still standing in front of the mirror, look away, making sure that no part of your reflection visible.
<br>
3. Focus, in your mind, on any part of your body. (Parts that you have prior convictions on will work easier at first) i.e. if you think your chin looks big in every day life focus on how big your chin is.
<br>
4. Look back at the mirror, your reflection will have changed in proportion to your current conviction and you will thus have formed an image of yourself with a disproportionately large chin.
<br>
<br>
If that the above holds true, 2C-I enables its users to gain vast insight as to subconscious thoughts. Because basically if you are seeing something a certain way it is due to the fact that you believe it is true. For example if you see your friend with slightly shorter legs, then this might suggest that you subconsciously think that he has short legs. Or if you see someone as being particularly beautiful, then this might suggest that subconsciously you are thinking that they are attractive.
<br>
<br>
Another remarkable property of 2C-I is the fact that body vibes or rushes can also be controlled. For example if you hold your hand to a fan and convince yourself that the air is blowing not on but through your hand, you will generate a feeling that will verify this. You will feel the air blowing through your hand. Once adjusting to this you could just as easily feel air blowing through your head or body.
<br>
<br>
Try the following:
<br>
1. Take a glass of water.
<br>
2. Convince yourself that the glass is slipping out of your hand. (Think that it’s slipping)
<br>
<br>
You will no doubt be surprised as to how real the feeling of the glass slipping is and may even feel the need to put it down in order to prevent it from dropping out of your hand.
<br>
<br>
Body vibes generated by 2C-I may also be reflective of subconscious thoughts though they present themselves in less obvious ways and deserves further exploration.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 28153</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jan 27, 2004</td><td>Views: 16,921</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=28153&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=28153&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">2C-I (172), LSD (2) : General (1), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">130 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
One night, my friends and I decided and I decided that we wanted to trip, we had done so a couple of times previously already. I was really looking forward to it, and I thought that I knew what to expect. We had to go into town to get the acid from a friend of a friend, but this was ok with me. I wanted to trip so I figured it was worth the effort.
<br>
<br>
We got into town, and we walked to the bar where the dealer would be at, we tried to get in, they wouldn't let me in, because of the way I was dressed. This would have been sometime around 9pm I would guess. My friend Matt went in (the dealer was his friend) and Daniel stayed with me, so I wouldn't get too bored. We sat around outside for around 1/2 hour, after which Matt came out. He gave me and Daniel our share of the acid. I went into a stairwell took out my trusty razor and cut my two tabs from the strip, and immediately downed them. I then gave Daniel his share of the tabs. I sat down again, and Matt went back in, I wasn't happy about this, I wanted to go do something, but he had already promised he would. After about another 1/2 hour he finally came back out, by this time the acid was starting to kick in a little. After having done it a few times, I could feel the minor effects rather acutely.
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<br>
We went for a walk, Daniel and Matt wanted to go party, I didn't really feel like it, the acid was coming on pretty strong. We sat down in a park and Matt packed me a cone (bowl), cuz I was feeling pretty strung out, I knew this was going to be a strong experience. I smoked it up, and my two friends decided they were gonna head back into town, i decided that I was going to go home by myself (bad idea, but I didn't know it at the time). Matt being the good friend that he is, packed me another cone, in case I got really flipped out. I walked down to the bus stop, its a special bus that only runs on Friday and Saturday nights. It comes once an hour, and runs from like 10pm - 3am, you catch it to a major station, and then another bus, drops you off as near your house as they can get (very handy).
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<br>
I knew the next bus wouldn't be for like half an hour, so I had no choice but to stand around and wait. At this point the acid started to really kick in, I guess by now it would have been around 1 1/2 hours since I ingested it. There were rainbow coloured rings around the vision of each eye and I was feeling pretty out of it. There were some dodgy looking Aboriginals around and I was feeling rather scared, a few asked me for change, and I told them I only had enough money for the bus (which was actually true). I saw some high schoolers walk bye, from their Prom or something, boys and girls holding hands. I started to feel angry, I felt really lonely at the time, and I wanted a girlfriend badly. Here are these guys walking buy looking dressed up and very happy and I hated them. Some of them were looking at me, and I decided that if I heard one derogatory comment I was gonna start a fight. They passed by without incident and I relaxed a little and forgot about it.
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<br>
Finally the bus came, I hopped on board, and I was having a bit of trouble getting out my money and deciding how much I had to pay. The bus driver obviously knew I was out of it, and he was very helpful I was very greatful. As I have had drivers on this service try to rip me off on the change, cuz they probably figured I was too out of it to notice. I went and sat down around 3/4 of the way towards the back of the bus, the bus sat around for about 10 mins, waiting for other people to come and catch. Eventually though, we got going, on this service they play the radio, and they had some lovey dovey show on the radio, there were couples around me cuddling and kissing. At this point I was feeling so lonely and upset, I was on the verge of crying. I sat there for a while, and I felt so bad, I sort of withdrew into myself and zoned out bigtime. I have no recollection of about 1/2 the bus ride (a 45 minute journey).
<br>
<br>
Anyway, when I came back to reality we weren't two far away from Salisbury (the major stop that was my destination). About 5 minutes later, we arrived there. I got off the bus, and there is another connecting bus that you are supposed to catch, to drop you off near your house. I was messed up and this point, and I couldn't decide whether I had to catch it or not, by the time I had decided I should catch it, it had already left. This meant that I had no choice but to walk home. This is where the trip started to really go downhill. It's about an hours walk to my house from Salisbury, so I headed off. As I was walking along, a weird effect started to happen, I would feel a rushing sensation in my head, and my vision would start (over about thirty seconds) to become sort of fuzzy, everything looked like it was drawn roughly with crayons. After a few minutes I would feel the rushing sensation again, and my vision would go back to normal. Then it would happen again, this happened countless times.
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<br>
This was really freaking me out and I started to get really scared. I started to get really paranoid that a cop car would come by and they would notice I was acting strange and pick me up. I didn't want my parents to know I used drugs. Every car that came by was a potential cop car, and it scared me a lot, by this point it would have been just after midnight I guess. I was sweating like a pig and nothing I did would stop it (overheating is a common and unfortunate side effect of acid). I walked past a service station, and a few homie wannabes came out and started walking in my direction, they were probably 50 metres behind me on the other side of the road. I became really paranoid that they might try to jump me, after about another 5 mins of walking they turned down a side street, but I couldn't calm down. It felt like everyone was looking at me, everyone was out to get me, I was on the verge of crying. I felt like an insignificant little stick figure, up until this point in my life I had never really felt loved, now it felt like everyone was out to get me.
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<br>
I felt helpless all I wanted was to be left alone, I wasn't hurting anyone, I just wanted all the cars and the odd person or two to go away. I started to get angry, I was like, fuck everyone, fuck em all, if they wanna start something, I'll just kill them. This made me feel a little better, although I was still paranoid and very scared. I walked by a street, from there it was only a short walk to Daniel's house, I was feeling in over my head, and I decided that I might go and try to crash at his place. Then I remembered, that I had left him in town, and it was unlikely he would be home this early. So I knew that crashing at his place was out of the question.
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<br>
I kept walking and the whole time, this rushing sensation was still happening (although it was starting to become less intense). I was starting to feel a little less scared and paranoid, although I was still very much on edge. I was about 15 minutes walk from my house, and I was thoroughly sick of walking I just wanted to crash, then it started to rain. I got really pissed off again, bloody typical, I just want to get home, and its raining. Luckily though it was only a light rain, and then I arrived home. I made quite a bit of noise because I was out of it, fumbling the key in the lock etc. Though my mum wasn't home (I lived with her, my parents are divorced) and my brother sleeps like the dead, so I didn't wake him up. I go into my room and look at my clock, its 1:30 am, the walk that should have taken me an hour, took me 1 1/2, because I was so out of it.
<br>
<br>
I collapsed into bed exhausted and tried to sleep, but I kept hearing the sound of a car horn beeping over and over and over again, I just couldn't sleep. This went on for hours, and I eventually fell asleep when it was starting to get light, becuase I was just so damn tired. I woke up around 6 hours later, I felt pretty spacey and out of it, but not too bad, I generally feel messed up the day after a trip. I smoked the cone Matt had packed me and got up, said hi to my mum and my brother, my mum was cool I must have looked messed up, but she knew I had been to town last night, and probably figured I had been drinking. I swore that I would never do acid again, altough I ended up doing it again the next weekend, but that's another story.
<br>
<br>
The moral of the story is, if you are a relatively inexperienced tripper like I was, it is not a good idea to trip by yourself, this is an experience more suited to the experienced user. If you are having a bad trip, it is a good thing if you have at least one trusted friend with you, as they will be able to talk to you and calm you down. Probably not completely, but at least enough to keep you from flipping out. I found that out the hard way, although I apparently hadn't learned my lesson, and it has happened too me once more. Its a scary thing to have to deal with by yourself, please heed what I have just said.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 10659</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 6, 2004</td><td>Views: 12,893</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=10659&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=10659&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Alone (16), Bad Trips (6), Difficult Experiences (5)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Beer/Wine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">145 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
[I've enclosed the section of this report concerning the key part concerning my title in *****, since the report is long and I'd rather people skip to that part and read it if they don't find the tale as a whole intriguing rather than skip this report altogether]
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One of the standard recommendations for having a good psychedelic experience is, 'Keep an open mind.' The rationale behind this suggestion - a well-meaning one I personally support - is that a whole other universe of new experience awaits on the other side which a closed mind with preconceived expectations might reject with dangerous repurcussions. 'Go with the flow,' is an important psychedelic maxim because it instructs one to minimize the resistance that creates tumultuous friction between what's coming and what one is willing to permit.
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Once one is familiar with this vital concept of the open path with least resistance, he or she can begin to direct the manner of their perceptions toward investigating that vague territory called 'reality' or 'truth'. 'Investigating' is the key word here, because many glimpses we have of the beyond seem ephemeral and unrepeatable, yet we feel they contained some powerful mystery another deeper look might reveal.
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A bit disappointed by the vast number of disparate, inconclusive, and frightfully gone awry experiences reported on various websites, I feel compelled to provide here a 'systematic' method of perceiving what seem to me to be 'universals' that was revealed to me over the course of many trips, particularly this one. I have shown numerous friends (and been shown) during the psychedelic experience how to see in this manner. Much of that guidance is quite frankly telepathic, but I have been told that my verbal/linguistic capacities are particularly vivid during the experience. This linguistic capacity is one area emphasized by Terence McKenna that the psychedelic community can and must hone into, both during and after the experience for the sake of credibility. It is primarily syntactic, in my view, since timing and emphasis seem to produce the 'right words' almost of their own accord. I'm going to make a go at describing what I believe to be an important intermediate, transitional stage in the psychedelic experience.
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[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated or tripping is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it.]
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I went camping in the woods with 3 friends one evening and the 4 of us split 10 hits in the car on the way (I don't think this is a good idea, but we were 20 minutes away. Also I'd recommend mushrooms over acid, since acid can be dirty, but this stuff was pretty good). We were all kind of feeling something on our first trip of carrying stuff to our site from the car, but it was on the second trip that things unleashed ('trip' meaning 'walking' here, we were all 'experienced').
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We were in good spirits, a laid back bunch looking to have an eerie bit of wild fun in the woods. Well, as it went from sunset to dusk on our 2nd trip carrying stuff to the site (including a bag of firewood since we were in a protected national forest, and a cooler full of beer), our expectations came true as we got lost. As can be guessed, we argued, emit exasperated sighs, offered plans that filled our hopes only to be disappointed by the wrong route, then directed our condescension at the guy who'd convinced us that was the way. With much relief we finally found our way back to the site, but drenched in sweat along the way, we'd got fed up with carrying the firewood and dropped it. Two of the guys went off to get it, while I collapsed in the leaves with R. to look through a clearing at the stars.
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Something about the physical duress of looking for our site kicked the acid in heavy upon the soonest moment of rest. R. was claiming he'd never had a trip come on that heavy before, and as I chuckled at his exaggerations, I became aware of an overhead whirring like UFOs passing overhead. Bemused, I told R. to listen, and as he zoned in on the same sound, wide-eyed in smiling amazement he repeatedly asked, 'What is that?' interspacing his interrogations with keen listening.
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The other 2 came back around this time trudging through the forest like elephants, making jokes about how easy our site was to find and how dumb we were. R. began telling them about the intensity of the trip and the UFO sounds, upon which he was mocked and I was looked to for blame. Implicitly agreeing with R., we quickly arrived at consensus to make some light by building a fire before we were too wacked to accomplish the primitive task.
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<br>
Building a fire is a great lesson in cooperation - on levels that multiplied with every moment on this occasion. For the most part averting the 3 stooges bickering that characterized getting lost, we soon had a nice bright blaze and enormous satisfied grins. An MMW live tape kicked out funky grooves from the little boombox we'd brought along, and R. was much revered for his goofy dance and facial expressions upon hearing the unforgettable riff he dubbed, 'The Funky Marshmellow'. I wish I could hum it or play it for you right now, it's contagiously groovy. I remember his face looked so Renaissance to me for some reason in the firelight, like a character out of a Brughel or Rembrandt. god he was funny! legendary stuff.
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<br>
*************************************************************
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<br>
I think a bit of guilt at our indulgent giggling at the scene of R.'s jig probably spurred the more serious introspective period that followed. The four of us stared into the fire from our respective positions and listened to the cicadas mix with the MMW and the crackling flames. It was kind of like a slow exhale for us - we'd gone through hell finding our site after all! And we were finally away from campus in Nature. Aaaah, and tripping. I focused on the white hot coals in one of the crevices for some reason - I think because of this space's consistency compared to the flickering flames above.
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I soon became aware of that phenomena I'd discovered many trips before in which my eyes move out of focus in order to bring into focus psychedelic visuals. 'Normally' when I focus on a point in space sober, there's a kind of immediate boxing, or tunneling, or framing of the space around it. But on psychedelics this space is produced more slowly and requires greater concentration. One conceives this focus as a kind of peeling. Often, previously, upon the commencement of this peeling, I would be immediately distracted by its motion and transformations. Once that happens, it's absurdly easy to forget what produced the phenomena until it happens again the next time I try focusing. Another deterrent is the mind-bending feeling that accompanies the dramatic revisioning before me. 'Is something going wrong?' or 'Am I going too far?' are 2 of the questions I've thought in the past at these moments. But if I stick with it, moves through the process layer after layer, the rewards are extraordinary.
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The blazing alcoves in a campfire are prime spaces to develop this kind of focused vision while on psychedelic drugs. The ebb and flow of light in these spaces is far easier to follow than the dancing flames above. The intensity of the space is rivetting. The ancient, cosmic mysticism of the fire; its sheer heat and power - this primal thing actually in front of you! - is awesome to behold and wondrous to ponder. Throw some psychedelics in the perceiver and it's not hard to convince myself the fire holds secrets.
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While staring into this alcove as the peeling process began, I persisted to concentrate beyond the initial defocusing. This is when 'trippy' crossed over to 'sublime'. I began to see rotating motion in opposite directions at each layer of wood-fold leading in toward the core. I then chose to focus on these folds, almost sideways-like as it seemed I was still focusing on the hot coals in the core (I felt a physical shifting in my head as this happened). What soon emerged were a series of profiled, skull-like faces which I had become aware of in an earlier trip. The hazy, breathing visuals I always see tripping began to delineate themselves with an almost concrete structural clarity. If I continue to concentrate and continue to believe in what I am seeing, such imagery becomes ever more refined.
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The profiled cranial faces led all the way to the coals - my original focus - transforming in real-time with the ebb and flow of light in the fire. I almost forgot there was heat involved, this precise motion of light was so fascinating. Now once more focused on the coals, incorporating also the surrounding tunnel that had started the process, I became aware of prismlike shapes, as though they were actually octagonally cut stones illuminated by inner light. The notion of something very old and elemental about this new impression made me think of them as fossils or shells. Upon thinking this the prisms took on a segmented spiralling shape. I became aware of the fire's interconnectivity with the ground and the space we'd cleared for it. Integeration was so overwhelming that it hardly seemed there was anything 'burning' at all.
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Blown away I broke the silence and brought this to the attention of my friends, whose silence I suddenly became aware of with a sneaky suspicion they'd been waiting for me to talk all this time. I tried to coax (a very adamant NOT HOAX) them through the process of seeing what I'd just gone through. Intrigue was at every stop accompanied by resistance, as though seeing what I was telling them was either going too far, or demanding some type of responsibility on their part. It soon became ridiculously evident that once this vision was interconnected, it depended on mutual belief. A series of 'I got it's' and 'I see it's' and 'Woa's' encouraged each progressive step toward the integrational structure where I'd stopped previously alone. Yet, suddenly I lost the vision. I looked at D. next to me. 'What happened?' he asked me. 'I don't know, that's why I'm looking at you,' I said. 'It disappeared,' he said. We looked over at P. who'd heard us, 'Same here,' he said. In unison the 3 of us looked accusingly at R.. 'R.?' D. asked with obvious implications. 'What?' R. responds looking shifty-eyed like a little kid caught disobeying his parents. 'It stopped,' D. told him. Aware we're all looking at him, R. stammers out a denial of any knowledge or responsibility.
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A discussion ensues. We decide that we're either all crazy, or that some kind of mutual faith is needed for all of us to see these visions. We agree we're all crazy, but we all thought this was pretty mind-blowing, and it definitely helped integrate us as we were hitting the peak-levels at which ordinary speech is increasingly irrelevent and each man is an island. so we gave it another go, D. instructing R. to stick with it. It all happened again, but each time it was like someone pulled the plug. I even felt responsible at one point as the resistance aura built up and interfered with my system. Now that I 'the founder' had mis-fired, it was like a virtual frown where the gang threw up their hands and gave up. Now they were in general agreement this was too much, although they acknowledged they knew what I was talking about and had seen it.
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<br>
******************************************************
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<br>
A bit dismayed, I relented. I didn't want to go pushing my bros over the edge here in the woods. We were supposed to be chilling anyway, not 'thinking' right? But this left us with a void. A pronounced aversion to the fire became palpable. The desire was voiced to go visit the fire tower up the trail and look out at the stars (i just now notice the irony in this as I write. Hahaha! Read on.) I kind of wanted to go too and try out this experiment on the whole sky. But then the question arose, could the 4 of us leave the fire unattended? It had died down quite a bit in the hour since the MMW tape started and we hadn't added extra logs, but was this safe? A long unpleasant confrontation with responsibility ensued, and we were peaking massively in our 3rd hour. We had beers in a cooler for later when the trip tapered off to drink by the fire, so no one wanted to put it out and start it up later. I volunteered to stay, but then D. asked, 'Do you feel ok with staying here by yourself?' I paused and considered. A creepy crowd of druid-like figures seemed to emerge from the woods and recede. 'Hmmmm, not really,' I replied. D. grinned with understanding, 'I didn't think so.' So what do we do? I finally agree reluctantly the fire's ok, and we could all go.
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<br>
P. was already hanging about the trail with a headlamp like he was about to go coal-mining. R. embarked to the trail in what was later to be fiercely debated as a new short path from our site to the main path. It was definitely one of 2 pre-established paths from our site to the main path, but had we traversed it up till now? D. followed R. with me behind them. R. suddenly starts to seem like he's moving in slow motion and turns an odd sheepish grin back toward D.. I can see D.'s face in part from the side return a questioning grin at R., like 'what r u smiling at wiseguy?' Then D. starts to move in slow-mo too and a clutter of 'Whaaa's' and 'Hey's' transpire from them as R. starts falling forward with D. coming on top of him. It felt like we were pushing through some invisible membrane. I felt a kind of 'whoosh' at the end of which enclosing me I could feel congealing the membrane's broken edges. 'SPIDER WEB,' I said quietly, immediately turning to go back to the fire, resisting a thousand hallucinations that thrust in upon me.
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At the fire my hands felt over my body to confer that I could perceive nothing accurately, the hallucinations were intense and interference was everywhere. Fear sprung upon me at this no-man's land reality. Is there a black widow down the back of my shirt?! What kind of web would be strong enough to make R. and D. fall!? A big pissed off spider's. 'Come back to the fire!' I barked in sharp syllables of urgent fear.
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<br>
I ordered my aghast and bewildered friends check every inch of my upper body with flashlights. Luckily P. was composed since he hadn't endured the event, and provided a much needed calming, rational influence while almost angrily with a huge chip on my shoulder I interrogated R. and D.. Nothing could be agreed on. The spider web seemed plausible but not conclusive, and it seemed like R. and D. were actually hiding some dimly realized knowledge of the event from me. I couldn't tell if it was a big fat web and they didn't want to freak me out, or if they actually suspected what I was starting to: the 'membrane' kept us from leaving the fire, whatever it was. The words, 'bubble,' 'cellophane,' 'plastic wrap,' etc. were used to describe the strange entity, but its reality could neither be dismissed nor agreed upon. D. &amp; R. fell to the GROUND as they passed through it! Either that web had strands like steel cables or it was constructed mentally with greater strength than physical entities. It's still open to question.
<br>
<br>
D. ended up sticking by the fire with me while R. and P. went to the tower, and we took our turn later. Things calmed down and the rest of the trip was beautiful and contemplative, with a few beers to ground the 4 of us after our wild ride before sleep.
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<br>
The central portion of the story regarding the fire and higher perception is the major facet I wanted to convey here. I have since duplicated the process with others on various occasions, and I have no doubt if any of them desired, they could show other people the same thing, leading all the way to a crystalline structure verging on Buddha.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1997</td><td width="90">ExpID: 11148</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 14, 2004</td><td>Views: 7,558</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=11148&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=11148&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Nature / Outdoors (23), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">180 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
In high school I only dabbled lightly in drugs. A couple relatively moderate mushroom experiences, and one roll on ecstasy. Mainly I stuck to drinking beer and smoking pot. This all changed when I went away to school for the first time. Let me describe myself at the time I was going to college. I was fairly sociable while under the influence of alcohol, but otherwise reserved and timid. I was painfully shy at times, partially because of a childhood of rejection. I was often made to feel like an outcast because I was different, I was in the 'gifted' class at school and basically a nerd. Before I got to high school I had experimented briefly with marijuana and alcohol, as well as one experience with methamphetamine. During my high school days I stuck to drinking mainly, and didn't truly become a pothead until I became best friends with another guy, who we'll call C.B.
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So I went away to college and developed a pretty good network of friends and drinking buddies. I did mushrooms a couple more times, and became a pretty big e-head over the course of my first semester. I got to the point where I would roll every one to two weeks, but then get the 'terrible tuesdays.' During this time I became more socially outward, but inside I felt hollow, like I was missing something. Partially it could be that I was in Boston while my girlfriend was still on Long Island, but it was more than that. I felt that somehow there had to be something different... the feeling is very hard to describe in words but I think many people know what I mean.
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One night the mushrooms we were waiting for came through late, and expensive. I wasn't about to pay $45 for an eighth, even if they were the goods. The girl offered me a hit of acid for $5 and I agreed with some trepidation. I had heard a lot of bad stuff about acid, but I figured I'd keep it around and think about it.
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After much research on the web, in the library of my college, and through online psychological journal databases (I am a psychology major working toward a degree in clinical psychology and psychoanalytic training) I decided to drop the small, white piece of paper on my way to a party with my roommate. Suffice to say, the trip changed my life.
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I don't remember everything that happened, but the peak experience was something so remarkable I have yet to experience it since (and I have become something of a psychedelic devotee in the meantime). I asked my roommate to bring me home when I started feeling very strange at the party. I looked at his face and realized I could see through his pores down to the cellular level. Outside in the streets of Beacon Hill, Boston I was pelted by rain that was confusing as I tried to count each individual drop as it hit my skin and melted into me. I became liquid seconds before my mind erupted from my body, floating far above me. I was lost in some black place that was all energy and buzzing, in my mind's eye I could manipulate my visual field kind of like the smear effect on Adobe Photoshop.
<br>
<br>
At first I was frightened, but as my roommate led my blind body up the hill he later told me I said, 'I was scared, but I see it now. I see it! This is amazing!' I remember becoming conscious of the wave like pattern of reality, feeling the 'rolling of the world' in orbit around our sun. I became a snake, an animal I had previously had a phobia-like fear of (stemming from an incident with a snake getting into our house when I was a toddler in Texas, I now believe).
<br>
<br>
The trip was intense and amazing, I finally made it back to my dorm and met up with some experienced trippers who as luck would have it were also tripping on acid. The effects lasted about 16 hours from only one small tab, I suspect now that it was 'home made' because it had no graphics or logo of any sort. I don't know how much was on it, but I've taken substantial quantities of LSD since and not matched the intensity of the peak dissolution experience.
<br>
<br>
Afterwards I had a couple very dramatically visual trips, but then I found them settling into a more mental, contemplative, serene setting. The extreme release of tensions characterized by hysterical laughter and visualization effects was no longer present, instead I felt... well, good. Like I had found that warm center I knew was missing.
<br>
<br>
Since that time I have embarked on a spiritual journey that has led me to philosophy, spirituality, to understand and embrace my own Christian faith, further psychedelic experimentation, meditation, and a profound sense of doing something vitally important that I had previously not had. I became interested in the transpersonal/depth psychology of Jung, Rank, Maslowe, and Grof. Now I am on the path to becoming a certified psychoanalyst, and I attribute many of these changes to this life altering event.
<br>
<br>
My personality has become more serene. I used to be a more tense person, very pained and troubled. I can look back now at the me from high school and see him as almost a different person, certainly a previous chapter in the book of my life.
<br>
<br>
For a time following this transformative event I became overly enthusiastic about the drug and took it a LOT. Since I have calmed my usage of LSD and all other drugs down to a respectable amount. My life has settled into a domestic routine that brings me stability and happiness, though is somewhat unusual for a formerly wild, rowdy college guy. But, I like my life, and I like the glimpse of the divine that LSD granted me. It was not a miracle cure for my problems, but it was the catalyst to a process of self transformation that continues today. Thanks, Dr. Hoffman.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2001</td><td width="90">ExpID: 11285</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 17, 2004</td><td>Views: 13,130</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=11285&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=11285&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">165 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Many a time have I taken the plunge into Timothy Leary's magnificent pool. The difference is that no matter how many times I dive into that same pond, I never know how deep it goes.
<br>
<br>
A while ago, a friend and I each had about 4 hits of high-powered blotter acid. It was actually a birthday present from him to me. So the day we decided to drop, we had called Matt over to babysit us. We kept talking wonderful things about my birthday the next day, and it had put me in such a phenomenal mood. Matt arrives and we each put our 1/2 inch by 1/2 inch square on our tongues, and wait. Patiently we wait. So patiently in fact that we had begun to think the worst about the expensive paper that rested firmly on our tongues.
<br>
<br>
Then it began.
<br>
<br>
I walked over to the sink and remembered thinking that the draining water looked more than a little funny. I turned to Ben and at the same time, he turned to me. We gave each other that look of intimate knowledge that this wait had not been for naught. We smiled, walked outside, and smoked a cigarette. The sun was setting, but that word is all too common. The sun was no longer setting. The sun was dancing, playing, and surrounding us with its mighty warmth. It was embracing us with the colorful horizon. All we could do was lie down on the porch and stare. We stared for hours at the sky. Stars were slowly brought into view on the backs of other constellations. I saw Leo frolic with the hunter, Orion. Scorpio left the big dipper in search of the next hapless soul to walk by.
<br>
<br>
I could see things move, patterns shift, and new shapes envelope the world around me. However, this time I wasn't as interested in these beautiful visions as I normally was. This time I wanted more, I was getting more, and wished that all could feel how happy I was, then and there. Ben was the same way. I thought for hours we had been having conversations and listening to the most beautiful music ever played by man. Every word he said was in tune with mine. Our words played off each other like instruments in an orchestra, the perfect accompaniment to each other. Such peace, such blissful harmony.
<br>
<br>
Matt came outside to check on us relatively often, but he was never really worried. He knew the better safe than sorry rule. Just knowing that I had a friend who cared enough to be my babysitter was enough.
<br>
<br>
By the time the LSD had peaked, plateaued, peaked, and plateaued once more, I realized that my temporary bliss was finally coming to its halt. The motion around me slowed to a lull. The colors were no longer showing off their splendor, but had now wrapped themselves around me. The music had dwindled to a muffled tune, but never quite went away. Instead it kept repeating itself, as if searching for something yet undone, unheard. I could hear the rhythm, and feel it's drumbeat.
<br>
<br>
I closed my eyes and thought.
<br>
<br>
Words began to offer themselves to me from the mouths of great poets of long times past. Homer added his philosophy, Faulkner leant me his strength, and TS Eliot gave me his poetic grasp of our language.
<br>
<br>
I opened my eyes and found a notebook. I began to write these words with the fervor of the great men. They had become my muses. They inspired me to put down all I could think to say, because otherwise it would've been lost. An hour passes by going at D-Lysergic speeds and I read what I have written. A smile spans the entirety of my face. I race down the stairs and began to read aloud the poem that had just come forth:
<br>
<br>
Tonight, I walk the stars again.
<br>
Wander my way past heaven.
<br>
Throughout the skies and outerspace,
<br>
I step up to my lonely place.
<br>
Against the laws, and deep within,
<br>
I parlay into that wonderful sin.
<br>
Where truths are false,
<br>
And false is true.
<br>
And no one knows but you.
<br>
Where colors change and eyes will shift
<br>
and you can watch continents drift
<br>
<br>
I think, 'But is it real?'
<br>
I scream, 'It seems so real!'
<br>
<br>
My tongue burning from dots before,
<br>
But I cannot taste it anymore.
<br>
We think. We feel. We breathe.
<br>
We lie awake and seethe.
<br>
Can we feel it changing us?
<br>
Does it tear in half our minds' axis?
<br>
Then our mouth and minds dissolve,
<br>
Crying and flying and feelings resolve.
<br>
Purer thoughts and clean absolve.
<br>
Drive us to the point that we evolve.
<br>
<br>
And then faces change, one by one,
<br>
To the father, the spirit, his only son.
<br>
'It is a religion,' Timothy had said.
<br>
And now the sky turns red, and walls have bled.
<br>
<br>
Emily tells us, 'It is a cleaver of the mind,'
<br>
Something that excels beyond this grand design,
<br>
Through a dot, a plane, a space, then time.
<br>
<br>
Let me be the first to welcome you,
<br>
To a non-linear dimension, friend.
<br>
With this one tiny droplet I can send
<br>
A man to his furthest depths.
<br>
And he will come back again.
<br>
Through the fire sermon, a game of chess,
<br>
And a burial of the dead,
<br>
One can split in two halves, a thought in their own head.
<br>
'We should listen to what the thunder said,'
<br>
Thomas Stearns had told us.
<br>
<br>
So the spinning ends, the light is real once more.
<br>
We can no longer see our music as we could before.
<br>
And although we still may feel it, we still may know
<br>
We still may never discover how deep feelings can go.
<br>
<br>
I hear the approval come from the two members of my audience, and a deafening applaud by the poets who had offered me the means to say exactly how I had felt for so long. I bowed to them; they ought not bow to me.
<br>
<br>
I slept hard that night with vivid, pleasant dreams, because I guess that LSD-25 is the stuff that dreams are made of.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2004</td><td width="90">ExpID: 38273</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 4, 2004</td><td>Views: 9,424</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=38273&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=38273&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Poetry (43), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:59</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:59</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3.5 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(dried)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:59</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:59</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:59</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 10:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 13:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:59</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/opium/">Opium</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">175 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Set: feeling relatively confident about my ability to deal with hallucinogenic drugs after a series of eye opening and mind expanding adventures in cosmic consciousness. Happy to finally get to the weekend after a long week of college.
<br>
<br>
Setting: a small two room apartment that was habitated by my friend N and his girlfriend D. The apartment has a kitchen and living room that are basically connected with a bedroom door in the living room, a bathroom door in the kitchen. There is a bird in the apartment as well, I believe a parakeet.
<br>
<br>
Two of my friends had recently gone to a college for the weekend and returned with the nicest looking magic mushrooms I had ever seen. They didn't know the species, but the bags contained only caps, no stems. The 1/8 that I got was one giant wrinkly cap with golden sparkles in it. It was a bluish-grey color with earth tone highlights. This was during the time period that I was getting substantial quantities of acid, including UFO tabs and a bottle of Liquid Lavender. N and D, whose apartment we used for the trip, had never done acid. D decided to try some, N decided to stick to mushrooms for the night. My friend (and former girlfriend) S came with me, as we all had gone to high school together (though I didn't really know N or D until college). S and D took just acid, N took mushrooms, and D and I took acid and mushrooms together.
<br>
<br>
T+0: I drop a hit of liquid acid and eat the 1/8 of mushrooms at the same time. We're playing Dreamcast and generally relaxing at this point. N rolls us a nice blunt with the amazing hydro-chronic that we got for the night. I am excited about the evening, though still I feel some slight trepidation as I have never mixed acid and mushrooms or taken quite such a large dose as I plan to.
<br>
<br>
T+1: The effects hit us all at different times, but by now it would be fair to say we're all under the influence. S, D, and I each take a UFO tab.
<br>
<br>
I can't really recall what happened for some of the next period of the trip. I remember being in the next apartment from where N and D live talking to some very sketchy guys about ecstasy and how much it should cost. The whole scene over there was no good for my head so I went back to the other apartment to talk to S and drop another hit of liquid. We decide it would be a good idea to put on the Dark Side of the Moon and the Wizard of Oz (perfect tripping combination, whether the synergy was intentional or not on the part of Pink Floyd).
<br>
<br>
T+3 or 4: The movie is in progress at this point, maybe halfway through and things are getting weird. D keeps saying she is fine, then bursting into tears. We try to comfort her, which makes her laugh and then cry again. This cycle is repeated many times over the night. S spends a portion of time in the bathroom staring at the tiles. I keep telling myself I am close to sober, perhaps as a defensive reaction against the huge amount of psychedelics zipping around in my brain. My trip is definitely pronounced, but visuals are slight and the sort of 'mental clusterfuck' associated with tripping out doesn't seem that bad. However, my senses are definitely not normal, I believe that I am perceiving 'hidden' information in the auras of objects and people.
<br>
<br>
T+5 (or 6, but I'll stop second guessing now): We decide to go on a walk to when the movie is over, but not before having a massive smoke session. Things are becoming stranger by the second, and from the looks of my companions I am not the only one noticing this. Interpersonal dynamics at this point are quite amicable, as they usually are, but there is another level of openness that I do not usually encounter with other people. Dropping another UFO tab, me and S go outside first. Several minutes later N and D descend the long set of stairs and begin walking with us. At one point N says he feels like he is floating in outerspace. I look down at the sidewalk and all I can see is the blacktop, which looks like the cold distances between the galaxies.. I feel adrift in the universe. This feeling eventually gives way to a sensation of warm liquid running down my legs, and I feel like my skin is melting into blood. This sensation has returned in subsequent trips, but is not usually disturbing only odd.
<br>
<br>
T+7: Walking around the park for what seemed like years we observed a midnight ice skating event (it was still a little shy of midnight at this point, we had dosed early). We sat and watched small children and their parents having simple and unencumbered fun. The experience fills me with a sense of longing to create and nurture life, but luckily I do not run out and impregnate anyone.
<br>
<br>
T+8: Upon returning to the apartment we notice that the music has been playing the whole time we were gone, though not at a very loud volume. Instead of turning it off we pop in Alice in Wonderland and leave the movie muted. I watched the same movie with sound on my first acid trip and this helped to anchor me into a continuum of experiences that I had begun with that life-changing psychedelic event. My trip became very mental and introspective at this point, though startingly clear considering the drugs I took. S became wrapped up in the movie, identifying with Alice to the point of becoming quite upset when the movie was paused at one point.
<br>
<br>
T+10: Some time after the movie is over we are playing videogames and talking in general. The trip has levelled off for all of us, though not subsided. We smoked some more pot, which helped stir up some of the trip but mainly just had a calming effect. I notice that I am profoundly tired around this time.
<br>
<br>
T+13: It is the early morning hours as we smoke a final bowl laced with a small chunk of opium I had been saving. N and D retire to their bedroom to catch some sleep. S and I continue talking intermittently as we lay on a folded out sleeper couch. I drifted off to sleep at one point only to be awakened by the parakeet who landed on my head. I remember being confused and slightly frightened by this disturbance, and it took me a little while to fall back asleep. S was sleeping soundly by this point.
<br>
<br>
We all slept pretty late. I was awakened by D coming out of her bedroom in the midafternoon. S had already left to go back to her college. I walked back to my building which was about 10 minutes away, feeling a definite afterglow that manifested in the form of contentment and that familiar 'burned' feeling most acid-heads can tell you about. I slept pretty good that night and layed around like a waste all Sunday. By Monday I was pretty much back to normal, though a little fuzzy headed.
<br>
<br>
One interesting thing to note is the effect of psychedelics on animals. I don't mean we gave the parakeet any drugs (that would be pretty inexcusable, actually), but the bird still seemed to be able to perceive a noticable difference in us, even without us acting out any of the psychic turbulence. I have long believed that animals are very in tune to nonverbal communications of emotion through smell, body posture, etc. The bird very clearly knew something was up, because it seemed semi-agitated for much of the trip. This fact made me feel bad at several points as I didn't want to be contributing to the anxiety of another creature. Still, it would be interesting to see how a higher mammal such as an ape would react to seeing humans on acid or another psychedelic.
<br>
<br>
All in all, this trip was a mind bender, but in a subtle sort of way. A lot of the personal issues and ideas that were raised in this trip were a continuation of previous ones, and some of them continued into future trips, illustrating the cumulative nature of psychedelic excursions as explained in the philosophy behind psycholytic therapy (repeated ingestion of relatively low doses of acid for psychotherapeutic purposes).<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 12581</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 8, 2005</td><td>Views: 16,311</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=12581&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=12581&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Mushrooms (39), LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:59</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4.0 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(dried)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Previous experiance: My girlfriend and I have done acid once and mushrooms once, as well as Ecstasy a bunch of times, and special K a few times. We have combined ketamine and ecstasy as well. I have done cocaine, and massive amounts of marijuana, as long as tripping on dramamine.
<br>
<br>
Well my girlfriend and I definitely had probably the worst experience in the world this weekend. I had purchased 10 grams of dried mushrooms that we had previously done and 6 hits of liquid acid on sugar cubes, which I had heard was pretty weak. At 11:00 we dropped 3 cubes each...
<br>
<br>
T+1 hour: Visuals are minor, overall kind of goofy feeling with fun tracers and nice patterns on the ceiling, but nothing intense really, just as we had thought, the acid was weak. So we decided to ingest 4 grams of mushrooms each.
<br>
<br>
T+1.5 hours: Visuals are getting awesome, ceiling turning into brilliant multi-color patterns that are intertwining and melting into each other, an incredibly beautiful sight. The mushrooms had made me very immobile and as I couldn't see my body I felt like I had been unattached from my body and I was just a head sitting on my pillow.
<br>
<br>
T+2 hours: Foreplay is AMAZING, physical touch magnified 1000 fold, touching is so intense we actually have the ability to melt into each other both visually and physically. We were rolling around on my bedroom floor pretending, me, thinking I was a cat (purring and growling) and having the time of our lives. The feeling was so intense and amazing we were both in tears moaning on our floors as we licked each other and touched one another. It was so intense it easily beat Ecstasy-touch by 100 times. It was as if each cell in our bodies was having its own individual orgasm, I dubbed it body intercourse. Visuals never got too intense, but mentally it was amazing. We were able to actually lie on top of each other and melt into each other completely, as if we became one person. We felt as if we were intertwined so much that it was actually physically impossible what we were able to do, bending in impossible 'gumby' directions. Nothing I can say can even begin to explain the orgasmic feeling we were feeling. It was so intense we were actually crying. On top of this I was melting all over the place, I actually felt myself dripping... along with everything else (the walls, the floor, everything, it actually felt as if I was made of water and I was dripping on the floor as I saw my hands extend by inches.)
<br>
<br>
T+2.5 hours: All of a sudden we began to get kind of scared as the trip was getting too intense. We were both having massive sensory overload where it was if we were both being electrocuted, we could feel massive 'electricity' in our fingers especially. We didn't know what to do with ourselves so we went downstairs. (It gets a bit hazy from here, so I'll do my best to try and keep things in sequential order.) Mentally we were actually beginning to have skitzofrenic thoughts, everything was moving so fasts, and a minute felt like an hour. We thought about everything and we thought that we were dying. It was getting worse as my girlfriend was becoming unresponsive to anything I was saying to her. It was at the point where I was so scared and depressed that I thought all my body parts were crying (Yes, I actually said, 'my nose is crying'). We didn't know what to do, we thought we were in a permanent sycosis state where we couldn't remember anything and we thought we took too many mushrooms and we were going to die.
<br>
<br>
T+2.7 hours (approx): Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I ran into the bathroom and stuck my fingers down my throat and threw up a few times tossing up any extra mushrooms that hadn't entered my system yet, this act made me feel fairly relieved and I did feel better but still out of my skull scared. My girlfriend doesn't have the ability to throw up and she wouldn't do it, so the remainder of mushrooms began digesting in her system. On top of this she was almost completely unresponsive while I was getting violent trying to get her to say something to me. After I threw up we were both in tears because we thought we were actually going to be dead in the morning.
<br>
<br>
T+3 hours: I ran upstairs and dragged my girlfriend behind me and went into my parents room and woke my mom up. I told her that we had done drugs and it was way too intense. I explained the whole situation to her and she stayed fairly calm and calmed us down a little. It was still SO terrifying, beyond words. My mom called poison control and they informed her to bring us to the hospital, so that's what she did, I actually had to get my girlfriend's shoes on, as she was in worse off condition than me (I threw up, she didn't, so the remaining mushrooms were still entering her bloodstream). As we were speeding to the hospital I remember vividly seeing the road we were on split off into four directions (up, down, left, and right), and we drove in all four in all those directions.
<br>
<br>
T+4 hours: Once in the hospital my mom couldn't get a hold of my girlfriend's parents, which was a good thing, so she signed the papers for her parents. I was getting better as I was able to answer questions, but my girlfriend was still in as bad shape as she was before. She crying profusely and repeating to herself 'I can't remember anymore' (typical cliche thing to say from those movies with the crazy chicks, e.g., Girl interrupted). I was going crazy as there was this stupid guy rambling (I seriously thought he was saying completely incoherent sentences) on Jay Leno and I almost ripped the cable out of the wall to turn off the tv cos he was driving me insane.
<br>
<br>
T+6 hours: We have now been waiting in the hospital for 2 hours, but I guess our emergency wasn't important to the one doctor in the ER compared to the drunk driver who flipped his car, the hemophiliac who got a bloody nose, and an old women who had a heart attack. We already knew that once my girlfriend's parents got the bill for the ER visit we would never be able to see each other again (after being together a year and a half and being fully in love this was AWFUL). My girlfriend had calmed down to the point where she was having a conversation with me, and finally I go, 'mom, this sucks, lets leave, we're fine now.' My mom worked it out that since they did absolutely nothing for us that they shouldn't have to bill us and so the ER people labeled it as 'unseen' where we actually never came in!
<br>
<br>
This situation could have been SO much worse on every level, firstly if we had taken a full 5 grams of mushrooms each and secondly if her parents had picked up the phone then it would have been all over, and even if they didn't had they done any tests (blood tests, etc) i would never have been able to see her again. This has taught me a few lessons, one which is that I am NOT invincible, bad things can happen. And the second which is don't mix drugs, especially at normal doses. I always thought I could handle anything, and any drug, but I guess I was wrong. I guess overall though it has brought us much closer together to the point where we were confessing lies in the hospital bed (yes we were sitting on the same bed). The outcome was a positive one even if it was as scary as it was. And lucky for me my parents are cool!<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 40393</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 14, 2005</td><td>Views: 13,061</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=40393&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=40393&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Mushrooms (39), LSD (2) : Sex Discussion (14), Difficult Experiences (5), Hospital (36)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">225 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This is a two part report of my most dramatic experiences on LSD.
<br>
===========================================================
<br>
PART 1
<br>
<br>
Living in Ft. Worth in spring of 1999, my brother one day brought home a strip of purple paper, and gave me 'about 4 hits worth'. I still to this day have not been able to find out where he got it, what the name of that particular street paper was, or if that really was 4 hits. However about two days later I decided to give half the strip a go, since I had a day off. At the time, I had no alcohol in my system, nor any other drugs besides a couple of bottles of Coca Cola.
<br>
<br>
I took the paper at about 6 in the evening, keeping it in my mouth for 15 minutes before swallowing what was left. This was far from the first time I had used Acid, so I expected the trip to hit after an hour or so.
<br>
<br>
The first moment that I noticed I was tripping (my own personal test- if I look at a cigarette right out of the pack and it somehow looks kind of bent, I'm probably starting the trip) about 25 minutes after eating the paper. Soon my skin began to tingle in a familiar way, and my mind began to branch out in its thought processes. It was to be a very strange trip indeed.
<br>
<br>
After an hour, I was hallucinating lightly and my brain was beginning to process thoughts that I now cannot remember or fathom. At 7:30ish (thanks to my watch) I put on my combat boots, and started walking through my neighborhood. This in and of itself was a strange reaction to the acid- usually LSD makes me very introspective and reclusive. I began to hear a 4 bar melody playing in my head, one I had never heard before. The music stayed in my head, looping infinitely throughout the rest of the trip.
<br>
<br>
As I rounded the corner from my house, I noticed that the sun appeared to be setting in a most remarkable and amazing display of colors. Glancing at my watch proved that this could not be- the sun had set almost an hour beforehand. As I walked, I found it amazing that my own brain could hallucinate in such vivid color and realism. The colors did not bleed over into the nearby objects, such as houses and trees, but instead stayed perfectly within my view of the sky.
<br>
<br>
As I walked, part of my brain latched onto the fact that my brother was partying at a friend's house that night. I decided to see if I could find out where the party was. I had no idea what his friend's name was, where his house was, or what area of the city the house was in. However, as I walked I began to have images popping into my head (in a sequence that appeared to be random) - A big American Flag. A silver wristwatch (mine was black). A Super Nintendo gaming console. A four foot green glass bong.
<br>
<br>
At about this time is where my trip became very heavy. I often find that when tripping on good acid, my memories at the peak of the trip become a mixed jumble of hallucinogenic and fantastic concepts, most of which are also (in this universe, anyhoo) impossible. When I sober up it becomes hard to put them into chronological order. This is what I remember from that particular trip. Keep in mind that I am not insisting that any of this really happened- this is only what I remember in Dolby Surround Sound and Technicolor imagination:
<br>
- Running along the top of a wrought iron fence, not unlike a ninja in a kung fu movie.
<br>
- Walking through an alleyway where the brick walls were covered in odd graffiti. At first, the number 1 was scrawled across a dumpster. Then, in two separate places, the number 2. About fifteen seconds farther down the alley, three instances of the number 3 spray painted on the walls. Four 4's, five 5's etc. on up to 10. I have since visited the alley in question, and found nary a number painted there.
<br>
- Drinking a cappuccino at a coffee bar two miles from my house, and feeling the fluid actually get absorbed into my body on a cellular level. I also met up with my friend Brian at this time, and he has since put my arrival at the coffee shop at about 1:30 am.
<br>
- Being able to actually control the direction of the breeze for about half an hour.
<br>
<br>
There are more, but those are the biggest.
<br>
<br>
Sometime around daybreak, I began to come down. I could still, however, hear the music of the melody I had been hearing all night. Upon my arrival home, I drank roughly half a gallon of orange juice, sat down, took off my boots, and began to write down the notes to the melody. By the time I was done, I was no longer tripping at all- just very, very tired. My legs felt as if I had been walking all night. (I have since ascertained that this was exactly the case- I walked for about 10 hours, through back roads, main streets, around the empty parking lot of a mall, etc.)
<br>
<br>
Two very strange after-effects of this trip:
<br>
<br>
A) The song I heard in my head that night was actually very good. Four bar melody, almost Trip-Hop in style with an industrial beat. Any musicians reading this will understand my wonder at this: The song is COMPLETELY unlike anything else I have written. I am a heavy metal musician, and most my stuff is 8 bar riffs with aggressive feels to it. The song I wrote that night is WORLDS apart from anything else I have ever written.
<br>
<br>
B) When my brother came home, I told him about my mental flashes and visions from earlier. He told me that his friend had a big American flag on the wall of his living room, a silver Timex wristwatch that he always wore, and they had spent the evening smoking weed from a large green bong and playing Super Nintendo.
<br>
I am a hardcore skeptic. I do not believe in clairvoyance, per se, and think people who claim to be psychic are usually fulla shit. However, I am also convinced that for that evening, I somehow was able to remotely view my brother's habitat by merely concentrating on it.
<br>
<br>
As a footnote, I have done acid about 15 times in my life, in varying doses (once was tricked into eating a cube with 8 hits of strong liquid on it). I have experienced a mild recurrence of HPPD-like hallucinations at times (they are usually VERY faint), and also have had some rather strong flashbacks. It has been 2 years since I took my last LSD, and about 9 weeks ago I had a flashback so strong it almost felt as if I had done another hit. I actually look forward to the flashbacks at times- they are much more smooth than actually doing acid, and last only a couple of hours. The only bad side effect I have experienced is that during one trip, my skin broke out in a visible rash.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1999</td><td width="90">ExpID: 13144</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Mar 14, 2005</td><td>Views: 8,264</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=13144&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=13144&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Alone (16), General (1), Music Discussion (22)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:59</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:05</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:10</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:15</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:20</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:25</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:35</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:40</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:59</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">15 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">165 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
On many occasions I have used LSD to enhance the visual aspect of the event but always staying to a moderate dose to avoid any possible complications (police, other substances). However, I recently decided that I was going to do a little self-experimenation with some of the strongest paper acid I have ever taken. The purpose of this experiment was to find out if it is possible to waste my supply of LSD by taking too much. For instance, When I smoke Marijuana in a blunt or if I roll up a really fat hog-leg, I use more Marijuana but obtain the same high as if I had only smoked a bowl (minus the nicotine effect in a blunt).
<br>
<br>
Over the course of 2 months I ingested various amounts of LSD. Let me also add that my supplier was the chemist so there was no decrease in quality of product. The first dose I took was one hit. The trip was common and comfortable and lasted nearly eight hours. For the next three days I loaded my body with vitamin suppliments and ate very well to prepare myself for the next series of doses. My next dose consisted of one hit plus one hit+1hr. I noticed an increase in overall intoxication and visual patterns. The duration was around eight to nine hours. Again for the next three days I re-nourished myself and to save repetition of facts just know that after each dose for three days I reloaded my body with vitamins and minerals. My next dose was two hits at the same time. I noticed instantly that my trip came on a lot harder, was more intense and lasted a lot longer, almost 12 hours at this point. My next dose was two hits at the same time followed by one more one hour after noticable effects were reached. I noticed each time that the initial dose seemed to determine the intensity from the get-go and the secondary dose seemed to help continue the intensity. For two weeks I did no drugs and ate very well. I decided that this break would help in any tolerance and would also be benificial to my body considering what I had in store for my next round. I needed to do a larger dose to determine how much was being wasted since lets face it three hits isn't exactly a waste.
<br>
<br>
So I decided to start off with five hits at once then five more hits three hours after effects began. About 30 minutes after I took the first five hits I went into what I would call an instant peak. I was tripping very hard for only about an hour and a half when all of the intensity dropped. So I decided to take the other five hits and no increase occured. I thought for sure I would have crossed some kind of deminsions at this level but it didn't happen. I decided to wait a week and try again with a much larger dose. 10 Hits followed by 15 hits for a total of 25 hits. Now I wanted to time this so that I would get the maximum benefit of the LSD without wasting any. Basically I wanted to trip harder than I had ever before and get the maximum effect from each of these 25 hits. I had started to see a pattern developing also.
<br>
<br>
I took the first 10 hits individually one every 5 minutes for 50 minutes instead of all at once. I started into my trip by the time I got to my 6th hit. It was kind of slow and gradual with little spikes of reality leaving flashbacks. Then it hit me about an hour and a half into the trip. A hardcore peak that lasted for almost 45 minutes. During this time I only saw the colors purple, red, blue, and white. I lost all sense of time (thank GOD for stopwatches) and I could not determine what was real and what was fake. My coordination and balance were no more. I began to wonder if I really should take the remaining 15 hits. When I began to come down and I could hear without the echo again I closed my eyes and stuck the remaining 15 hits in my mouth and swollowed. What happened next was nothing like I expected (of course I was expecting death). I continued to get further from my peak and the intensity continued to drop. But what didn't stop were my visuals. I continued to have outrageous visuals without the peak for what must have been 16 more hours. I was just calm, but tripping.
<br>
<br>
So after a few days of recovery I decided to look back on my experience and make my final determination of what is the best dosage regimine for the greatest effect. I learned that taking 10 hits gradually gave me the same effect as taking five hits at one time, only taking ten hits over time made the trip last longer. I also learned that I am are going to do LSD I should decide how long I want to trip. 12 hours is the minimum when going over 3 hits. If I am going for a short trip then I take no more than five hits at one time since I also learned that I can only trip so hard. There is no other dimension to be crossed it is just a set dimension in my mind that I reach each time I trip, just how closely I examine it depends on me. If I want to trip for 24 hours or more and it is possible I might do a gradual increase to about 5 or 6 hits (one hit every 10-15 min) followed by an all at once dose of 5 or 6 hits at the four hour mark. This should get me to the 14 hour range where a ten strip will be needed to continue into the hardest realm of a trip. By the time I reach the 24 hour mark I will be tripping from the acid as well as the lack of sleep which is when the MOST VIVID AND INTENSE VISUAL WILL OCCUR!!!
<br>
<br>
So I guess I would have to say there is no such thing as wasting LSD but unless I want to prove something or change who I am I take my hits one at a time.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2002</td><td width="90">ExpID: 14549</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 15, 2005</td><td>Views: 14,950</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=14549&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=14549&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Unknown Context (20), Personal Preparation (45), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:59</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2.0 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/clonazepam/">Pharms - Clonazepam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 3:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 4:15</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis - Hash</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(extract)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">78 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Boring details of author: only tripped once before on LSD, had a month of beautiful chaos with MDA, have been jolted by 2-ct-7’s secrets a handful of times…and have taken a reasonable amount of street-grade ‘ecstacy’. 19 years old, university student.
<br>
<br>
It was 4’oclock and I decided that I should eat about 2mg of clonazepam (I get prescribed other pharmaceutical candy, though had unfortunately run out), thinking that I may have a ‘quiet night in’. A friend rang me up, it was about 7.30PM and the message basically was that some acid would be coming up that night. That was a very good thing, as acid has been nothing but scarce in my area for quite a time…. I was in an inhibited state, and thought that I did not want to experience the feeling of ‘wanting more’ when in the drug state…but didn’t know how strong the acid was… so, we ended up having some tabs in front of us, and thought… “lets to 2”. And we did.
<br>
<br>
About 40-50 mins later we were smoking hash-oil in my college room. I felt that I wanted to dance, and that I was aware of each sensory receptor in my body. My friend returned from the bathroom, and I was confused. I was on LSD. It took me a while to pick up on it…because the hallucinations and the experience came from things that I had suspected anyways. A phone rang, and it was a friend, we call him P. P met up with us at my friends, also very average middle class college room. We were smoking more hash-oil discussing how the universe was only what could be verbalised as ‘everything man..’ while also attempting to brutally simplify acidic conversational themes that always have a way popping up mid-sentence, paragraph or word. P came around, and he was noticibly intoxicated by the poison, Ethanol. But, all was good and we had another person born again with the Holy water of LSD.
<br>
<br>
So then there was three of us…tripping. Walking around the university discussing why it would be a bad idea to get caught smoking hash oil in a tree… amongst other things. Colour shifting was amazing, and I re-affirmed my love for psychedelic drugs. I had felt like until that point, my mind had been operating in a box. But upon taking the acid, it was though I became aware that the box’s walls didn’t really exist… they were not solid constructs that could not be manipulated…they were mere curtains blowing in the wind revealing a universe of infinite conscious states. Quite a revelation. The experience was completely unbelievable.
<br>
<br>
Kept smoking throughout the evening/morning, taking a backseat as I watched the ego drama unfold. I learned a lot during the experience, when looking out or simply sitting with my eyes closed…however, the things that I did learn are not expressible using our language. This disheartened me for the next day…asking what the moral of the story was. Then I realised that the revelations that I experienced were very deep and penetrated the centre of my being… and that everything that I think post that night, will be effected by the thoughts I was having on the LSD, many times more than any other twelve hour portion of my life. So, I have been permanently changed after taking the LSD, and that’s a happy ending.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2002</td><td width="90">ExpID: 17088</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 15, 2005</td><td>Views: 9,978</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=17088&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=17088&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">190 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I had an incredible experience with LSD at an electronic music festival.
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I had 2 triple stacks of liquid LSD (That’s 3 drops on an Altoid, I call them triple Xs(3X)) that I bought last summer that I was saving to take with. I knew the 3Xs were very potent and I had some more LSD on sweet tarts. Whenever I suggested dropping no one was interested in taking so much LSD so we ate up all of the weaker hits by the end of December. The 3Xs sat in a drawer, virtually forgotten for months. I was trying to find a job with my degree in a bad economy and making ends meet working at a restaurant. I was not in the mood to trip at all or do any other drugs for that matter for months; I didn’t even go to the bar.
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In the interim I was beginning to learn more about neurochemistry and depression. I had been depressed for most of my life and was determined to solve the problem without taking psychiatric drugs. I was already beginning to feel much better after I had eliminated dairy, alcohol, red meat and wheat products from my diet. I have become so happy and comfortable with myself that everyone I know has said something about the change. My mother was practically crying she was so happy that I was beginning to feel like I had power and control over my life and that I was starting to believe that I was worth something.
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In the last few weeks I have been focusing on eating foods that provide omega-3 fatty acids, niacin and b complex vitamins, as well as Tyrosine (which I respond very well to). I personally feel that the best solution for optimum chemistry is through food and I usually avoid taking manufactured supplements. I believe that food is living medicine.
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The week leading up to the festival was trying for me, I got stood up by 2 dates. In addition someone that I work with who I had been dating developed a crush on someone else that we work with and started acting very strangely. Most of my other friends were flaking out on my in very bizarre ways. The people who I was supposed to go to the festival with had left without me and I couldn’t get ahold of my backup. I honestly felt like no one liked me anymore because everyone was jumping ship on me all at the same time. I had bought a camelbak HAWG in preparation for the long weekend of dancing and tromping around hart plaza. The HAWG is a 1200 cubic inch daypack with a very well designed 3-liter water bag hydration system. The backpack was something that seemed invaluable to have with you when you plan on spending 2 days dancing and running around with your friends. In addition I had gone out and bought trail mix, apples, peppers, oranges and clif bars to have as snacks.
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Having done so much preparation I decided to go down to the festival anyway and see if I could run into the people I was supposed to go with. After all I had done all this preparation and taken time off from work and set this time aside to go to this festival. I had to at least try to find them. If I didn’t I would go back home and go to my folks house on Sunday instead of on Monday. I put my 2 triple Xs in my bag and left for the festival.
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I was at the festival for about 30 minutes before I ran into the people that I was supposed to meet. I was fantastically happy to see them after such a shitty week socially. There were the 2 girls that I work with and about 4 of their friends whom I had never met before. I was a total outsider to this group. It was important to me that we all get along and like each other so we could all have a great time. So I began making friends with them. One member of the party, Lynn, was a very pretty whirlwind of energy and smiles, she never stopped moving and always had something nice to say. This mix is very attractive to me; I had to flirt with her. All this time I was wearing my backpack with the hose running out of it. From time to time I would put the nozzle in my mouth and take a sip from it. Now everyone in the group was a little wary of me, I have presence. I have intense strangely colored eyes. I stand up with correct posture after learning the disastrous consequences of slouching. I once had back problems so bad that I had to go to a physical therapist to get things corrected. I practice yoga now and breathing and I stand up straight. Add to this the laconic, impacting, to the point style of my speech. When I say something it has weight and relevance. None the less I love people and had already decided that I liked these people, I knew that it was just a matter of time for them to accept me.
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I especially wanted to earn the trust of our little fireball. Lynn saw me drinking from the hose in my backpack and asked me what it was. I told her that it was water and asked her if she wanted any. She was cautious and wasn’t sure if she could trust me. But she was curious. I looked her in the eye and smiled and said “I promise you on my life that it is just water.” I smiled again and said “You can trust me.” Cautiously she took the hose and I told her to bite down and suck. She drank. Her eyes lit up and she smiled. “That’s SO cool. Oh my god that is so awesome. Hey, you guys. Look.” She looked at me and asked coyly if she could have some more. She was so attractive. I told her that she could have as much as she wanted whenever she wanted, that’s why I brought it.
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Eventually the conversation came around to drugs. They said that they were buying some pills and I told them what I had but I was reluctant to use it and I was not going to sell it to them. The problem was that the altoids would be really hard to cut in half. There were 5 of us who wanted to drop as well and I really didn’t see the point in only taking a hit and a half and leaving someone out. Besides we were at a huge festival full of people who were into drugs. Surely we would be able to find some drugs sooner or later.
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Eventually we did. Someone found a gel tab dealer and we bought 10. We waited until a little after sundown and ate the geltabs. Part of the geltab deal was that I would give a 3X to the guy that fronted the money. I had no problem with that because I would have one left to take later this summer at the beach. The hitch was that the geltabs were bunk. No one was getting off. I was getting irritated and it was getting late. I was tired of horsing around with shit drugs. I’m not one to fuck around. We waited to see if the LSD would kick in and and for our group to come together. I snacked on the food I brought.
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So by this point I had eaten a salad and a bunch of fruits and nuts all day. When everyone showed up we went back to the hotel. My drugs were not kicking in so I said to myself. “Fuck this, I’m going to trip tonight.” I got to the hotel first and went to the room of some friends who bought drugs from the same dealer. I asked them if they had taken any yet because mine were bad. This was 2 hours after I had eaten them. This was plenty of time. They got anxious and said no they hadn’t. They ate some immediately. I hung with them until everyone else showed up and we went up to our room.
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As soon as I got there I broke out the LSD and took it with the guy who had fronted the cash, Ray. I tore the baggie in half, giving one half to my partner we licked it clean and waited. We hung out with our friends and then it occurred to Ray that we should take some vitamins. He got out some multivitamins and L-Tyrosine which we took. We dropped at 12:30 Saturday night. Around 1:15 I felt the first indications that I was finally getting what I wanted. It was the standard LSD reaction for me: elevation in mood, confidence, intensity of colors. We started giggling a lot. When I drop I fall madly in love with myself. Not narcissistically but I find that I really truly like myself. LSD turns me into my ideal person. I feel confident, friendly, compassionate and strong. The ultimate expression of the person I will become in my sober existence. During this particular experience this feeling was extended and expressed much more than it has been before. I attribute this to the changes in my diet and the resulting differences in my psychology.
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We were asked to leave the hotel room by our friends who wanted to go to sleep. On top of that Rays cousin showed up with an entourage of 12 people. We went outside and sat on the patio behind the hotel, which was right on the river. Nice view but it was too cold. The entourage was not really mixing with us too well, they smoked in the elevator and one of them introduced herself as Rainbow Brite. I was not so happy at this point. My friends just wanted to sit there and their conversation was inane, on top of which we had the raver parade hanging around. I wanted to walk around and see the sights LSD had to offer me. That or have a real conversation about concepts and ideas. Eventually the raver parade left sensing that we were not really that interested in them.
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I was starting to trip very hard by this point. Ray got a call on his cell phone that some other friends of ours were out in the car in the lot so we went to see them seeking shelter from the cold. At this point I was with Ray, another guy who was a really whiny weenie and a girl who never said anything. There was only one seat in the car so we got into a Jeep that belonged to one of the people in the car. It was still cold. Everyone wanted someone else to get the keys to start the Jeep from the other car. Annoyed by the laziness I said I'd do it and got into the other car. As soon as I did I didn’t want to leave and I never got the keys. It was warm and comfortable in there. They were playing some kind of hip-hop that I experienced with my body in a really interesting way. I was beginning to trip very hard at this point. I could not focus on anything and I forgot what I was trying to say as I was saying it. I was having a lot of hallucinations and my perceptions were getting very distorted. I thought I was peaking but I was wrong. It felt like I was peaking on any of my other trips I had been on.
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I will take time now to define part of our vocabulary. When I take LSD there are moments where I feel completely sober, as if I’m not high at all, or at least I’m very clear and focused for a few minutes. When one of these moments occurs we call it a click because you feel like you just snap into them. One second you are spaced out staring at nothing, the next you are totally there and coherent. So as I was saying the trip was getting pretty intense and I thought I was peaking. I spaced out for a bit and then I clicked. The other occupants of the car were rolling a joint and packing a bowl, which I noticed for the first time. I started talking with them and made a few jokes and we smoked some pot. Then I started to go back up, faster and higher than the last peak. I felt premium. The pot had relaxed my body and smoothed out the few small kinks in what was already a very smooth and clean trip. I laid back and relaxed entirely. I was euphoric. The music was massaging me and sounded so interesting. Everything was fragmented. I told everyone that I had never felt this good in my life, which was true. Eventually Rays friends left and he joined us in the car so I had to move. As a joke I compressed my body down as much as I could and tried to make myself as small as I could, which I think I did to a greater degree than I normally could. I don’t know.
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At this point I was hopelessly gone, swept away by my LSD. I was tripping so hard that I couldn’t talk. I felt like I was a little sane man that was sitting in a chair in the back of my mind. Everything I sent out got hopelessly distorted and everything that was coming in was so warped that I decided that there was no point in trying to interact with anyone. I found this to be only mildly frustrating, and at the same time utterly hilarious. After a couple of attempts to speak which I am sure came out as incoherent gibberish I decided that it would be best for everyone if I just shut up and enjoyed myself. I don’t know how long it went on but I clicked again. This time I clicked down to about where I was at the last peak. Still riding hard but functioning a little better. I could talk if I was very deliberate and careful about it. I picked up a notebook and began doodling in it. Totally pointless stuff. I tried to trace the shadow cast by my hand knowing that it would move when I moved my hand. I was just drawing spirals and circles. Kind of tracing out the patterns and objects that I saw. I peaked again. I was doodling and at some point I stopped and just stared at the paper for I don’t know how long. I was enthralled by the most beautiful spiral I had ever seen.
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I was still getting higher and I was getting scared. I didn’t want to freak anyone out so I said very matter of factly. “ I have to get out of the car.” I got out. I was out of my mind. I turned around and I was standing in an immense acid cathedral. I have never had a hallucination of this magnitude. I didn’t see even a resemblance of anything that was actually in the alleyway where the car was parked. The walls of the cathedral were mainly a grayish purple, with blue and cream colored highlights. The walls crawled and those colors swirled on them. They had tendrils and windows grew and disappeared. Details on the walls were constantly evolving. It was a symbolic representation of LSD and it had a commanding authority. It had a conciousness and a personality. It was not impersonal, hostile, or compassionate. But I can’t say what it WAS exactly. It was LSD. The cathedral was utterly overwhelming and it owned my ass. I remember thinking that I didn’t want to go on with this and that I didn’t want any more. I was beginning to fight it. My resistance was making things worse.
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I remember the sensation of being in a windstorm. I felt a psychic storm raging all around me. Clouds of the same hue of purple as the cathedral walls were roiling all around me, but the clouds were thoughts. I was standing on a point of rock in this storm. I was my soul, I had been stripped of everything except my utter core. I was everything that I believed I would always be and would be destroyed if I lost. I was clutching to my personality. I saw it flapping madly like a handkerchief in the wind. My soul (me) was unaffected by the storm but the storm was pulling my personality like a kite in the wind. Since I was holding onto it, it was dragging me off of the rock. Suddenly I laughed at myself in the middle of all of this. I told myself that I didn’t have any choice. I HAD to let go. I had to surrender myself to the LSD completely. Otherwise I would be destroyed. I had to ride it out and let it be what it was going to be. I remember looking down at my shoes and seeing my feet only half on the rock I looked past them at the chaos and oblivion beyond them. I looked at my hand holding the flapping tatter of my personality and I told the hand to let it go. I had no reservations about it. It had to be done and so I watched it fly off flapping into the maelstrom.
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As it went the storm went with it and I was standing in the alley. Ray was there and he was peering at me oddly and saying “Hello, are you there? Hello?” I was very proud of myself and filled with confidence that I had been tested and found worthy. I knew that things were going to be weird for a while, but I could handle anything that came. I gave Ray a huge grin and said something to the effect that I was still unable to talk. We got back into the car. Our friends were all getting sleepy so we went back to the hotel room. Ray and I were tripping very hard and nowhere near being able to sleep. We turned the TV on. Ray and I wanted to run our damn mouths constantly. He kept making me laugh. I was still really out there and couldn’t trust my perceptions. I knew that I was unable to function, and was glad to be in a room full of people who would take care of us if we needed it. I felt like it was my responsibility to not wander off, make too much noise, or do anything to worry or bother them. Ray kept making lots of noise and I remember telling him often that we needed to keep it down so that they could sleep. I told him that we would need these people in the morning to take care of us, and that therefore it was important to have them well disposed towards us. Wow, logic. He saw the truth in it and we were not terribly loud.
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Eventually though it was obvious that everyone was out pretty cold and we could talk normally. Later some of the people told us that they would wake up now and then and listen to us. They said that they didn’t mind and that they thought we were pretty funny to listen to. I was glad; you might as well be entertaining. Ray began to peak. He was getting a bit freaked. I remember him reciting some Korn lyrics: “falling away from me, its falling away from me” He was looking for guidance. I could tell, I think. I’m not sure if I hallucinated him saying “Its only acid, its only acid.” I was having a grand time and he said that he wished he was handling it as well as I was. I said to him. “Just let go. You have to let it flow through you.” Later he told me that this saved him. By now he seemed quite impressed with me and made comments to that effect occasionally for the rest of the trip. We talked and joked around for the next few hours. I made up a game with the TV. I would click through the channels and the game was to call out the first color that grabbed your attention. This was great for getting Ray turned around when he got anxious. We were through the heaviest part of the trip by about 5 AM.
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Ray was making very complimentary comments about what kind of person he found me to be. I was very flattered. I found him to be young and in need of experience, but I think that he is a very good person. I very much forced him to trip in my way and he told me so. I asked him if he enjoyed himself and he said that it was incredible. At 5 I knew that my body needed food. The sun was starting to cast light into the atmosphere and the sky was lightening. I picked up my bag and went to the window and we looked out at the Detroit River. Recall that I had a backpack full of water that we were drinking through the entire night. We had the water and I broke out the red and yellow peppers and trail mix. I ate my last Clif bar and we got into the food. He was wary of food at first, but seeing me eating without a problem he tried it. He was delighted. Suddenly our mood was buoyant. The food was doing wonders for us. It revitalized us and we had a positively delightful time tweaking the flavors in our mouths by adding one morsel or another into the mix. We ate everything. As the sun came up we talked quietly and philosophized. We had some good visuals looking at the clouds and the river. We were beginning to click more and for longer periods of time. This was funny because we would be talking and then all of a sudden one of us would space out, or we both would.
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I don’t know about anyone else but I always break a sweat about ¾ of the way through a trip and this happened. I clicked and started sweating. I told Ray that I was sweating and he told me that he didn’t know what I was talking about. 30 minutes later he said “Wow, I just got my sweat.” It was hilarious. We laughed. After eating and sweating I wanted to freshen up. My eyes were tired from so many hours of use. I went into the bathroom and ran a towel under hot water and wiped off my face and head. That was the cherry on my sundae. Everything was great. I recharged the towel for Ray and gave it to him. We were coming down and in good spirits. I needed to lay down and so we did and played the color game and joked around for a couple hours. Jen woke up for a while and smoked some pot with us and went back to sleep. While we were talking with her we began using the past tense to describe our trip. Eventually Karen woke up and started getting her stuff together. Just when she got up my stomach growled horribly. I poked my head up from behind the bed and said “Please tell me you are going to take us out to get breakfast.” She looked at me and said “Lets go.”
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After breakfast, the sun was up. Ray convinced me to go and sit down by the river instead of going back to the room. We talked coherently for a few hours and allowed our friends upstairs to rest some more. The sun was wonderful and we continued to be in a good mood. The only problem was the gas and cramping in our stomachs. They worked themselves out eventually. We talked until we clicked again at about 10 and went upstairs. Everyone was up and happy to see us smiling and OK. Around noon we went to the supermarket and bought some breakfast and supplies for the day. We took more L-Tyrosine and vitamins. The afternoon rolled along and somehow it got to be 4 PM before we knew it. We went back down to the festival. It was a gorgeous afternoon. We went down by the river and chilled on the grass. I was very tired, but in good spirits. We broke out the strawberries and whipped cream and everyone really enjoyed himself or herself. Everyone felt good and we all agreed that it was the food. No one ever got cranky or tired because of the way we were eating and drinking water. I dozed in the sun for an hour or so.
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When I woke up I was in the best mood I have ever been in. I got up and danced with Lynn. I was smooth and flowing. We all snacked on fruits and drank water until 9 or so. Ray and I had lost our concern about the horrible crash that we felt was inevitable. We had just floated back down to reality and kept on going like nothing had happened. We were astonished because we had tripped so hard and so long. By 11 he and I were ready to go back to the hotel. I had been up for 40 hours by this time. I was tired, but only as a natural consequence of losing an entire nights sleep. I was beginning to get cramps in my body. When I boosted myself up onto a ledge my pectorals and triceps cramped up immediately. I ate a banana for potassium and felt better. But I still needed to rest.
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Back at the hotel I was at the end. I needed sleep. I crashed at midnight and everyone else stayed up on exstasy. Before I crashed I remember Ray saying that he was a convert to healthy eating. He couldn’t believe how wonderful he felt. They wanted me to party with them of course, but I had promised my parents that I would come home on Monday if I didn’t Sunday night. I woke up once or twice while everyone was partying. My throat was thick from all of the cigarette smoke. But honestly I was so tired that I slept right through it all and they were being very loud. I remember Lynn covering me with a blanket and telling me that she wished that I was up having fun with her and I said I felt the same and then fell back asleep.
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I woke at 7:30. I got up and wrote a thank you note stating that I was sorry to leave without saying goodbye but I needed to go home and clean up so I could go see my parents on memorial day. I drove home, called my folks and told them I was on my way. Had breakfast and went to my parent’s place. I washed my car and my mothers and then fell asleep again until dinner. Had a lot of fruit and veggies again for dinner. Went home and slept all-night and got up for work today early.
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I am astounded that I didn’t crash. I made a point of making sure that I was taking care of my body and feeding myself regularly. Only Ray and I had taken any real hard drugs but everyone was commenting on how much better they felt because of the food. The people who were not eating like us were having trouble. I think I can almost totally avoid the horrible acid hangover if youI do maintenance through the experience. Make sure you keep your brain chemistry balanced. Stay properly hydrated and fed. Omega 3 fatty acids are important for brain cell health. This is why we ate the Tuna. Vitamin C and B complex in the oranges and peppers. There is Tryptophan in bananas as well as potassium which is good for your muscles. Our diet was geared towards psychological health and it worked very well. I felt normal all day today. I was in a great mood I have been in a great mood ever since. I never crashed. Remember that food is living medicine. Please learn as much as you can about the chemistry of food and the ways it can enhance your life.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2002</td><td width="90">ExpID: 15019</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 9, 2005</td><td>Views: 9,993</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=15019&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=15019&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Vitamins / Supplements (231) : General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">170 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
My experiences with hallucinogenic drugs have been a mixture of positive and negative. I have been experimenting with them for years; sometimes with friends, in search of a high, and others with a more spiritual purpose. Always in the back of my mind has been a deep respect for the power of the drugs. The first time I tried LSD, I knew that this was special, but far from a toy. The enlightening effects carry with them endless insight into life, but can also produce an equally negative effect, if taken in a careless manner.
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My personality is such that I have, many times, gone the careless route. Most times I have gotten away with it, but it does come back to bite. It's like roulette.
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The story I want to share, however, is a glimpse into hope rather than despair.
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It wasn't the first time I had taken acid, but it was my fathers first. I had recently begun attending college, and had consequently been introduced to the world of acid. Always being comfortable with dad, I mentioned it to him. Surprisingly, he didn't offer any resistance. In fact, he had struck up a friendship with a well respected gentleman from town, who had been filling him with positive stories about his decades of experimentaion. In retrospect it nearly brings a tear to my eye to understand the way that it all played out. Like it had been written long before it happened.
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We decided on Saturday. Mom would be at work, and we'd have the house to ourselves. With great anxiety I waited for him to arrive home from morning coffee with his 'well respected' friend. Finally, at around 10AM he pulled in the driveway.
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Pink Floyd echoed from the speakers as we each ate a tab and a half, and began a shoot the shit session. The session began with some small talk (relatively speaking) about the coffee conversation of the morning. As time slowly disappeared, it was replaced with an overwhelming feeling of love. Our converstation drifted toward the time when he and my mom were divorced (5 yrs. when I was 4-9 yrs old). He began telling me of the mess he had made of his life during that time. He had been living with his drug addict friend and his family for those years untill one day, for some reason, he took notice of his friends son sitting on his daddies lap.
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I meanwhile am beginning to sense something very special, very near. An unspeakable and undeniable power was beginning to settle in the room. Dad continues his story explaining that he and mom decided to give it another whirl right after that.
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At this point tears began streaming down my face as I recalled to him a memory which chronologically seemed to coincide, with his 'son on daddies lap' epiphany. I clearly remembered grabbing the top of a Yahtzee box and all over the underside of the box, drawing crying, sad faces with the words 'I miss my daddy' coming from the mouth. I showed the box to my mom and we both began to cry. Right after this they decided to 'give it another whirl.'
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Now I am overtaken with a total release of any sense of despair and feel as if God himself had settled into the entire room, connecting my father and I in an otherwise unknowable way. For that short time I was fully aware of my connection to everything, but particularly to my father; interpretations of the word father are welcome.
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<br>
If the word God is a turnoff to you feel free to replace it with whatever you see fit. I know of no other way to describe what I felt that day. Anyway, I don't know if this story will help anyone else, but it is the first time I have put it in writing and it is kind of healing to relive it. My Dad passed away a few years ago, but it is a comfort to have shared that experience with him. Thanks for reading.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1999</td><td width="90">ExpID: 44601</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jul 15, 2005</td><td>Views: 24,340</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=44601&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=44601&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Mystical Experiences (9), Families (41), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 3:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 capsls</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/ghb/">GBL</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(capsule)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">135 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This experience that I am about to share marks the last time I take any kind of psychoactive, the reason is simple.
<br>
<br>
I've always been familiar with LSD and only had one bad trip out of around the 15-25 times I took acid. The bad trip was due to an unexpected trip, I was 14 and someone slipped me acid… to make a long story short: my favorite drug was, is acid.
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<br>
Two of my friends and I had planned to take acid at my house a week in advance. (We usually never plan it, and it always ends up at the same place and the same setting, so we all thought it would be better to have a ‘new trip’ at my house.)
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<br>
It was pouring rain and we had waited hours to get this stuff, by the time it had come we were so happy to have it that we each popped 3 tabs. (The 3 tabs were put into little gel capsules that we got from a pharmacy, so we did not have to endure the taste of the acid, and because we some how had a different onset when we did that that was much more desired.) We knew the tabs were strong but nothing prepared us (at least I wasn’t prepared) for the power of the acid we had taken.
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<br>
I live in New York City and we decided to take a walk through the park (central park), it was late at night and I was hoping to be tripping by the time we got to my house, and while we were still in the park. Unfortunately for me, it didn’t happen that way. I actually started tripping around 11 pm or so and I know we took it at 10ish. My two friends started to trip before me, and I took them around Lincoln center (a big theatre, primarily for operas and what not) because it had cool fountains and trees to look at, along with beautiful sculptures with a well-lit scene in the center where the main fountain was. At first the trip's onset was extremely fun, I had a huge smile on my face, and I was filled with a mega burst of energy (as usual). However I knew something was wrong, I never hallucinated that hard before, I mean I have, but not that early into it, I was still coming up and I was coming up a little too strong.
<br>
<br>
It was cold out and my friends wanted to chill out a little at my house before we did anything else, because it was pretty strong for them as well. So we headed back to my house.
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<br>
When we arrived I was totally bugging out - but in a good way, I was getting strong visuals and it was only about 11:45 pm. By this time how hard I was tripping was not on my mind, although normal tasks became ultra difficult (i.e. lighting my cigarette, taking off my wet clothes, and especially putting on dry ones). I noticed that my friends seemed to handle their trips a lot easier than how I was…it was also the first time I took 3 rather than my normal 2 and a half so I took that into account… I remember doing things like trying to play my guitar and forgetting how, and being completely entranced in the music that they were playing… I realized I was going to have a bad trip when I took a look at our current situation…
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<br>
It was about 12:10 midnight and I was tripping already harder than I was ever before, I then realized that we haven’t reached our peak yet. It scared me because I had no control over anything I was doing… I couldn’t concentrate and I kept going into little fits of negative feelings about the night. (i.e. how I wish it wasn’t so strong, and how badly my house was becoming a total war zone because of my ape minded friends.) It’s not that I wanted the trip to stop, it’s that I wanted just to sit on my couch and bug out…which seemed to be the hardest thing to do (sit still)…
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<br>
We started watching TV with no volume while listening to a few CDs, it was the first time that music sounded unwelcome to me while on acid…everything was irritating because my senses were too heightened.
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It wasn’t going right at all, and I just wanted to chill out, because I still had what my friends and I call 'the jitters' it was pretty annoying…
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<br>
I remember saying stuff like, ‘Man, I took too much’ and my friends replying, ‘Relax, it’s only going to get better’. I came to a realization then, that I didn’t want to trip anymore for a long time, or at least not as frequently, because the same reoccurring thoughts were running through my head with the same crowd of people around me… I also realized that there was very little money in my wallet compared to the amount I had before purchasing the acid and I was becoming more broke throughout the night because I prepared for the trip earlier by buying trip toys and what not.
<br>
<br>
It was about 1:30 and the trip had calmed down a little, but I was still having bad vibes about everything, about my own personality, and how I didn’t really want to trip anymore…there was nothing I could do. About a half hour later I was still sitting where I had been for about an hour, and I was hallucinating so bad that I was beginning to have a little fun. I got up and I felt everything out of place, and then the trip went sour again because I couldn’t think straight….by now I was like ‘Fuck it, I’ve got to calm down, I cant stop thinking negatively.’ Our motto was ‘think positive’ but the more I thought about positive stuff the more I thought about its negative counterparts…I was so pissed that I couldn’t control my thoughts that I asked one of my friends to let me smoke a little weed to calm me down… he packed me a bowl and I was about to take a hit and then I realized that if I took a hit, it would only make the effects more strong and I would just be more paranoid, so I turned it down, but nevertheless I was still desperate (but not freaking out) for something to calm me down.
<br>
<br>
My friend then offered me some GBL and I thought instantly ‘Oh, hell yeah I always feel good, and think good, and I am a lot more social,’ so I thought it would be a good idea…it was actually the worst decision I ever made.
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I took it thinking I would calm down, but it actually fucked me up to the point where I went completely catatonic and I lost my mind totally… I’ll explain:
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<br>
Upon consuming it I felt better, and awaited for the initial effects, knowing in my own mind that I did something good to save the night. It usually takes about 15 minutes for me to start feeling GHB and the 15 minutes that it took for the GBL to kick in I was getting re-dressed to go back outside. The reason was to get a new pack of cigarettes, because I was tripping too hard to find the others (which were in my pants pocket all along) my two friends were helping me out because I clearly was unable to get all my stuff together…the effects were starting to arise, but I wasn’t the one to notice, they were…
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<br>
It’s been said a dozen times that I talk too much and I act a little cocky when the GHB first kicks in for me, and I was doing just that; running my mouth and insulting my friends…I had little control of what I was saying…
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<br>
So let’s see what we have here:
<br>
<br>
- Total loss of ego
<br>
- Beginning to lose inhibitions
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<br>
I didn’t know it at the time but I was slowly beginning to lose my personality. As the GHB kicked in, my self was checking out.
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<br>
We got outside and proceeded to my local deli, where we got lost and ended up three avenues away to another deli… the whole time I was messing with my friends minds a little something that we call ‘mind fucking’ and it got a little out of hand, I actually convinced them that my whole life, and everything I do revolves around my cigarette addiction, and how even LSD contributes to it, and how I needed one to survive, so obviously they were bugging out.
<br>
<br>
They believed as much as I did that I was in a normal (let alone the acid in my brain) state of mind. I always had control when I tripped in the past. They had no idea that my consciousness was going straight out the window and neither did I.
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<br>
It was at the time when we went into the deli when they realized there was something wrong with me; I was making it really obvious that I was out of my mind. The clerk thought I was drunk (nothing new for him, I'm sure he gets a lot of drunks on Saturday night around 2 am.) My friends lost control of me. At this point I am solely telling the story from what I remember, and what they told me when I came back to reality.
<br>
<br>
I remember only the crazy thoughts that were shooting through my brain at cosmic speeds… I thought everything possible all at once, and completely went catatonic… but not like any normal catatonic, more like the babbling nutcase that needed a hefty shot of thorazine, a straight jacket and a padded room.
<br>
<br>
I was merely hanging on to reality at that point, I was controlling my emotions like I had switches and levers that controlled my feeling…for example, I remember feeling emotions of love, and sadness and then I switched so fast to feelings of hate and vengeance, then to nostalgia and value. At that point they said I took my wallet out and threw twenty-dollar bills around while tearing some of them up. (I lost about 100 dollars) I threw my wallet in the street and took my boot off. I was out of it. The hallucinations were completely controlled as if I was god and I made anything I wanted. I made things disappear and re appear, I had no sense of danger until the last second (I was standing in the middle of the street and wouldn’t budge until a car nearly hit me at full speed.) At this point my friends had lost me, I was running around the streets screaming nonsense and picking fights with random people…I don’t remember if the people were real or not.
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<br>
It all slowly came back to me when I found myself laying in a parking lot face forward wanting to die or fall into a deep sleep (not happening while I was still peaking on LSD) my friends, wallet and hat, and a few things I had in my pockets were all gone, and I was by myself. The thoughts are indescribable, but I made myself feel as though if were having sex, I felt it, but didn’t see it. I then began to have serious auditory hallucinations. I heard the sound of a grenade pin clicking off, and then a nuclear alarm ring, and then I thought I was lying on train tracks. The thought of danger then flew through my brain almost as fast as the other trillion thoughts and memories that I was thinking about. I just wanted to go to sleep and I believe it was the GHB that made me feel that way.
<br>
<br>
I then began to walk home, by pure instinct. So like a mindless zombie I made my way back home. No one was there, except for my sister who I kicked out of her bed to try and sleep in it. I remember thinking that my routine world was all a lie, as if I were the only being in the universe and everyone else was just a figment of my own imagination. I was completely nuts, and when I came out of it, I realized that the length of time that I was in that state was the length of time that GHB usually affects me (about 3 hours) so while the GHB was affecting me I was mumbling to myself, I remember urinating on myself on purpose because it seemed like a good idea at the time. My friends returned to my house completely worried, and they told me of what I was doing…I was still in the state of mind at the time, because everything they said to me, I repeated back to them in a barrage of mixed thoughts and complete insanity. They would say, ‘Are you alright?’ and I would say, ‘Alright? All right? Are you all right? Well I don’t know, shit if I know!!! All I know is mumble know? Know what? Know that you are all right? Maybe!’ I was nuts…
<br>
<br>
I came out of my crazy state and proceeded to make sense of the night with the little blips of memory, and what they were telling me. I felt like it was time to stop taking acid, because I felt that it is something that should be taken once in a while, I didn’t want to do it anymore because I felt like I have had enough…my friends still think otherwise, but I feel like I have made the right decision for my self. I still support acid, and any kind of mind-expanding drug, but I strongly advise those who use it to be careful with their decisions while on it. Even I who felt completely comfortable with acid messed up, and it will happen again someday if I am not careful. I should have just taken it easy and relaxed but I didn’t and I have learned a lot about myself that night. And I am happy for it.
<br>
<br>
That morning when the acid was wearing off, I found it incredibly hard to think straight. I slept for about 20 hours, woke up, and I stayed up for about 3 hours still without being able to think straight…sometime I found myself sitting down on my bed not thinking anything at all. Then I went back to sleep and it was Tuesday when I woke up. I actually went through so much mental strain that I couldn’t do anything physically or mentally other than sleep. So there you have it.
<br>
<br>
I haven’t even smoked weed since the incident, but it’s only been a few days since I had this experience, I’m just saying that I don’t think I will do anything anymore, I mean I have had my fair share of being a druggie, an E-tard, an acid head and a ‘drug addict’ so I figured it was time to stop and learn how to do other things. Maybe I will take acid in the future, but I know it will be completely planned out and I will not take anything else while I am on it. I will be more responsible than I ever was…right now I am just focusing on other hobbies.
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<br>
You don’t want to lose your mind, it sucks.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2002</td><td width="90">ExpID: 18217</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jul 21, 2005</td><td>Views: 20,238</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=18217&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=18217&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">GBL (89), LSD (2) : Hangover / Days After (46), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">210 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
While in college, I experimented with a multitude of different drugs. Most familiar to me was cannabis. I had been a pot-head even before I got into highschool. The effects were amazing, and I NEVER had one bad experience with it, other than the occasional overdose followed by regurgitation and dizziness. About midway through my second quarter in college, I had my chance to experience LSD for the first time. I had not done any research prior to my trying it. It was kind of a spur-of-the-moment situation when my neighbors just happened to be selling it. I bought one hit to test it out on myself. I had no idea what sort of drug it was, and which part of the brain it affected, so I decided to go along with the seemingly incredible experiences my roomates told me about while they, themselves were tripping.
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<br>
Needless to say, none of them told me about the potential problems that could have occured, and I had no idea that I was supposed to have been in a comfortable place with people I felt comfortable around. My roomate and her friends had always bothered me and made me feel very uncomfortable in a sort of hidden way since I met them. I could not explain it, but I just felt it. Not to mention I was under a heap of stress from class projects and work, which I subconsciously buried.
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<br>
Aside from the outside stress creators were the inside stress creators; the secret hell that lurked beneath the darkest recesses of my own mind, which I also had forgotten about at the time. I have struggled with mental illnes all my life. My diagnosis were bipolar disorder, manic depression, and severe anxiety disorder. I had also been weened off my previous medication because I had made outstanding progress, and was able to control these horrible demons. Upon ingestion of the first hit of LSD I felt nothing for the first 2 hours, understandably. After hour 5, though, my world flipped upside down. I felt like I was in a bad 80's movie that I couldn't get out of. My hands had begun to shake uncontrollably and my anxiety skyrocketed beyond the point of human tolerance. The worst part was yet to come. My roomate and her friends were trying to support me and help me through the situation, but they, themselves were in their own bad trips. Everybody was hopelessly fucked up in their own way, and I was aware of that.
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<br>
I then remember two of them wanted me to come with them to get some food. I really wanted to get out of the apartment, so I accepted the offer without hesitation. They told me they were going to get the car started and go talk to this dude next door, and they would come back to get me. Again, I said that was cool. The truth of the matter was that they both simply forgot to come back for me. My one roomate was very forgetful sometimes, and on any given day, I wouldn't have given it much thought. But the drug had hit really hard by this time, and things were getting worse. My mind started to play tricks on me. I began to think that they never liked me in the first place, and that they were just too cowardly to tell me up front. Then I began to think that they, and the rest of the world were all against me from the very beginning, and I was some sort of earth-bound reject that seemed to serve the purpose as 'thorn in the side' to every human in existence. I begain to feel like I was the lowest creature on the planet.
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<br>
When the two came back, I had gone so mad, I had a knife in my hand, stringy cassette tape wrapped around my neck, and bloody wrists from where I had a sorry attempt to slash them with an exacto-knife. I was really in hell. Definately at the bottom.
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They both ran like crazy next door and locked me all alone in the apartment. My mind wouldn't stop. It only got worse. I had begun to reason that they were conspiring to set me up to make me look like a 'bad guy' for their own purposes of hurting me. The entire world all the way from the air I breathed seemed to dislike the fact that I was taking up space and that I was unwelcome to breathe air. My roomate's friend (who was also a good friend of mine) came over to my apt and tried to comfort me. I desperately tried to tell him that I was sorry, and I wanted this all to stop. He sympathized. I tried further to explain to him that I could not control myself, but all that seemed to come out were words to make me sound even stupider. My own mind was against me and on a mission to make my life as miserable as possible. It wouldn't let me die. Each time I tried to committ suicide, my mind haunted me about how painful and agonizing it would be.
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<br>
My roomate later came in to see me crying my eyes out in sheer disgust at myself. I don't think she fully understood the agonizing horror that I had suffered, but she sympathized. We made up, and just the two of us joked around about kit-kat bars until morning time. My trip was mellowing out a little, but my health was declining. I began to sweat and freeze. I later passed out on the sofa. For a slight minute, I was so at peace as I welcomed the comforting hands of death embrace my soul. I had had enough. I began to think of my horribly abusive childhood, and all the pain I had gone through my entire life, and figured that I would never die; almost like my curse was to live forever and never get that chance to finally rest. I was literally willing myself into a peaceful death, or so I thought, but woke up later from a well-deserved nap.
<br>
<br>
There was one more time in which I tried acid. It was a little later. The same things happened, but not to the same extent. That was because I was alone most of the time writing poetry and playing music. I had one quarrel with someone, but that was it. It wasn't very pleasant; in fact, I was downright angry when my comment was ignored, and I had the door slammed in my face. I nearly killed that person trying to get the message across that I wouldn't tolerate anymore abuse from anyone. And that those who hurt me would soon pay, and if I were going to suffer, the rest of the world who punished me would suffer with me, or something like that. But trust me, the moment was VERY brief, as I lost my attention span, and went back into my bedroom to watch some TV. I remember fearing that if I slept with the lights out in my room, that my fears would materialize, so I slept with the overhead light on.
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<br>
These experiences were during my most stressful moments in my life. A lot was going on, adn I had a lot to reassess. I eventually dug down into the deepest recesses of my soul to solve some of these problems that were seemingly non-existant until now, and have also begged to be put back on my medicine. I think back now to how powerful LSD was to me and how one tiny hit took complete control and turned me into my worst fear. This is not a drug I recommend to anyone who isn't at peace with themselves, or has the same mental illnesses as I do. I still sometimes have flashbacks (very rare though). From now on, I stick to what I know. Marijuana seems so innocent compared to LSD. In fact, I still smoke it, but unlike LSD, it is a very pleasant experience.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 17644</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jul 22, 2005</td><td>Views: 14,134</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=17644&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=17644&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Difficult Experiences (5)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:50</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
A little background information; At age 15, throughout the 10th grade of High School, I dropped Lucy every other day and was able to even keep composure throughout High School while doing so. Never once did I have a bad journey or anything that felt remotely wrong at this point in my life. At this point in my life I was a worry free kid. The drought set in and my life changed drastically. I got into hard shit and became very depressed with my life. My last trip with Lucy (11 days before my daughter was born) was a rough one but I had my daughters mother who I was very close with at that point to guide me through. She had also been my chemical companion throughout various past experiences.
<br>
<br>
Alright so here it is all laid out. Not a very perfectly planned journey by any means but I did learn a few very important lessons about my life and life in general and all around it was a very good experience. Throughout the night before dropping I had around 4 or 5 beers. Around 4:25a.m. I decided to drop 3 hits of the blotter which I recently acquired from a loving brother. The first hour was spent in my room just laying down watching TV I don’t exactly remember what was on the TV at the time. When it reached 5:25a.m. I was feeling nothing so I decided to drop two more. Layed there and watched some more TV until it reached about 5:40 a.m. when I felt like I had diarrhea coming on from some little caesars pizza and crazy bread I hate ate a few hours earlier. My mother was just getting out of the bathroom and getting ready to head to work.
<br>
<br>
I got up and went into the bathroom and opened up the window nice and wide which faces to the east. While sitting there I could feel it coming on slightly and in my mind I got very excited and felt as if I was purposely purging out all of the negativity in my life. I felt nothing but good vibes radiating at this point. After getting out of the bathroom I went back into my bedroom around 5:50a.m. and sat back down and took a nice swig of beer and could still feel it coming on slightly. It felt like as soon as I sat down my mother called me from downstairs to print a report for my little sister because she couldn’t get it to print. I went downstairs with minor anxiety and printed it and headed back to my room.
<br>
<br>
At this point it was 6:00a.m. Upon getting back into my room I laid there feeling out Lucy and letting her get a good feel of me. Everything felt right at this point. Everything was beautifully coming together but I was not totally satisfied. Around 6:15a.m. I went to grab for the last 2 hits and my phone started ringing immediately as I reached. It was my mother asking me to wake up my little brother for school. I felt like this was an omen not to drop anymore because she had stopped me while my arm was outreached. I woke up my brother and went back upstairs. Sitting on my futon things were starting to take hold even stronger but I still was not satisfied and while looking at the last two hits I thought to myself “well I can either sit here and have a low to mild experience or I can see how far the rabbit hole will go with all of these”. Seeing as this has been my first experience in over a year I dropped the last 2 hits.
<br>
<br>
At this point it had reached 6:35a.m. The sun was up in the east but my windows face the north and the west so my room was fairly dim at this point. This is where things really started to go into overdrive. Laying on my futon I was watching “Funny Farm” because it was on HBO at the time and seemed suitable and non violent/threatening. At around 6:55a.m. it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was totally blown away. I laid completely flat on my back on my futon breathing deeply in and out keeping a good mindset and watched spots on my wall begin to swirl and take on what looked like a life of their own moving in various motions. At this point all was good and I was enjoying. I turned back to the TV and it was annoying me so I shut it off and laid back watching the ceiling. The visuals were utterly phenomenal. At first in a good sense but then they started to get a dark feeling to them. I brought my blanket up over my head and shut my eyes and inside my mind I was having some very wild visuals that I have never experienced to this intensity before. Things that seemed to look like skeletal figures with geometric lines forming their shape. Utterly amazing but at the same time frightening.
<br>
<br>
It felt as if “the demons” (how my mind put it at that time) were closing in on me. I felt like I was fading out and I became very claustrophobic and felt as if something was making it hard for me to breathe while under my blanket. Very overwhelming feeling. I pushed off my blanket and laid on my side staring at my futon gazing into what looked as if it was the fourth dimension. While gazing it became dark again and what looked like a demons face came before my eyes totally white face made up of total energy nothing physical with black eyes. This fucked with me bad so I sat up and tried to regain composure. At this point only a very small amount of time had passed. It went from 6:55a.m. to only 7:15a.m. I couldn’t believe my brothers and sisters hadn’t even left for school yet because I wanted to go downstairs where it was more open and bright. Things were very intense so I decided to try and give my daughters mother a call who used to be chemical companion and would guide me through when times got rough. With 3 back to back failed attempts at calling I think it set me off very bad.
<br>
<br>
I laid down on my back again and stared at the ceiling. The next visual was the most intense I have ever seen in my entire relationship with Lucy. Above me on the ceiling were physically lifeless forms. They were made up of complete energy with a light white glow. They were in a circular shape all connected at the head, arms at their sides, and legs spread out. They were moving in a circle in a counterclockwise rotation. I felt like fading out again and began to but things started feeling negative and I felt as if “the demons ” were grabbing for me (this is what was running through my mind).
<br>
<br>
I closed my eyes and I was seeing some very fucking cool but scary shit. Things that looked like ancient egyption pyramids and peoples of that time along with skeletal figures and demonic looking faces. All incredible and I'd do it over any day of the week but at that point where I was at right then it was a little too much for me. I needed somebody to be there with me and help me understand and comfort me. I attempted to call my daughters mother again with no luck and became upset and realized that it had only hit 7:40a.m. and that my little brothers and sisters were gone at school. At this point I totally lost track of time up until the end.
<br>
<br>
Downstairs I went and turned on a fan and pointed it at the couch and headed to the bathroom. In the bathroom nothing too spectacular happened. Just the usual off and crooked look to everything. I came out of the bathroom and laid down on the couch and watched the TV hoping it would keep me leveled off. This did not work and I found myself gazing off and getting an overwhelmed feeling of anxiety. I forgot the purpose of why I was journeying in the first place and only wanted to come down. Things felt off and not right and generally blue. I tried calling Erica one last time with no luck. The air from the fan started to annoy me so I turned it off. I stared out the window and became annoyed because I couldn’t go outside feeling that overwhelmed and not knowing the purpose of what I was doing in that realm and feeling like nothing was being accomplished and very overwhelmed of the intensity of what I was seeing.
<br>
<br>
I had to figure out something to do. Right in front of me was my answer. The computer. I walked up and hit the mouse and the screen saver shut off and Windows popped up. I looked at my desktop and it was distorted looking, the buttons seemed larger, the color was off, out of the corner of my eye the printer looked like it was lifting off the desk and coming back down over and over again everything on the desk out of the corner of my eye was floating and pulsing. The exact words that came flying out of my mouth were “Fuck That.” I got up and sat back down on the couch. Everything was just so very intense and I felt so lost after only a few minutes I jumped back up and made my way back to the machine determined to get online to talk with some people I knew would understand where I was at and be able to help me through.
<br>
<br>
The visuals were still intense and throughout my whole time on the computer it was very intense. I felt like I was inside the monitor at some point and others I just watched everything on the desk float. I made my way here with little trouble. I’ve been a computer nut since I was 11 years old. I went to my post where I asked earlier around the time I originally dropped for people to send me some good vibes. On the screen I read a post that I hadn’t previously read before dosing saying “It’s been a long time coming. You know what to do.” It’s like exactly what I had been thinking. That I had no clue what I was supposed to be doing. I had totally forgotten the purpose of my journey and why I was gazing into the astral plane. I have so much respect and appreciation for everybody who helped me out throughout that thread especially in the beginning. Everybody was throwing short and compact hard hitting good spirited punches at me. I will never underestimate the value of words even on a computer screen ever again in my life. Where I was at that point in time I was clinging on those words. I will also never forget what those guys did for me. They may not realize it but they truly helped set me in a good place. I have much love for them and I feel a much deeper connection with that forum then I previously had. Sitting with my face close to the monitor I felt like I had a connection with each and every one of them. It was absolutely beautiful. I could honestly feel their good intentions and felt like I was making a connection with their spirit through their words and avatar. It was like I have known all of them my whole life and they understood me and where I was at that point. I became very calm at this point. This is when I could not connect to the forums. I had just started to feel better and I felt like something very demonic was keeping me away from the love I was feeling while here. While here I felt as if all of the negativity in my body was being purged with the help of the vibes I was receiving.
<br>
<br>
I went back and laid on the couch and reached out and felt like I made a spiritual connection with me uncle who I was very close to growing up. He was like my role model and I respect him. He is a very wise spiritual man. I felt overwhelmed with good vibes again and once again felt like I was purging out the negativity in my body. I called him and when he heard me rambling about how I dropped 7 doses and was tapped the fuck in and didn’t remember what I was supposed to be doing here and I am totally lost and on and on and on he laughed. “He said Matthew you need to go outside. It’s a beautiful day and the earthly spirits will love you right now. Get up go outside and lay down in the grass and let yourself be engulfed with the positive spirits who will help you figure out what you are trying to do here.” I replied saying I cannot go outside. He shot back “It’s not that you cannot go outside it’s that you are setting boundaries for yourself as you always do. Let go of your boundaries and travel outside.” I looked out the window and it all looked so big out there (mind you I haven’t been out of my house at all in literally 3 or 4 months.. except for a few times with my daughters mother. I ditched most of my friends due to my anxiety that I have a hard time controlling) I just couldn’t do it. My uncle continued to laugh and told me that everything would be alright and to keep purging out the negativity and that’s the reason I had come to purge the negativity, the boundaries, the fear of responsibilities and maturity, and thinking to much of what other people think of me. It still didn’t seem to clear to me at this point. What he said made since but he cut me short because he was at work leaving me confused and sort of upset with him.
<br>
<br>
I got back on the computer and read back to see what happened from there. The pictures posted were absolutely beautiful. They produced some wild visual distortions and I had to close some of them because they were very intense. Especially one of a girl on the blotter. From time to time between posts and such I laid down on the couch. I watched the ceiling and many geometric patterns that looked like grafitie letters and designs were pulsing on the ceiling and changing form constantly. At one point the ceiling looked as if one big spiders web. I think the web represented many personal problems of my own that I have weaved. I could see it perfectly but became lost inside of it and lost my way.
<br>
<br>
At one point I tried to call Erica my daughters mother again and things were slowly coming down at this point. This time she answered and I tried to tell her where I was at but she didn’t want to hear me. She started screaming nonsense at me that I couldn’t understand. One thing I did understand was her last line. “How often in the past year have you been here for me Matt? I was there for you last time this time you are on your own.”. It made perfect sense to me and I needed to hear this from her. It helped me contemplate on many personal issues and set me back on track as to what I was doing and trying to accomplish.
<br>
<br>
Things slowly faded out. Visuals became less and less robust. The mind grip let go slowly. Around 1:30 p.m. The effects were totally gone for the most part. The afterglow is still upon me as we speak. From 1:30p.m. – 4:00p.m. I laid on my futon and contemplated many personal things. I have come to some conclusions and some things are still left unsettled.
<br>
<br>
All in all it was a very very good experience. It taught me a few valuable lessons and left me with a few questions to answer on my own.
<br>
<br>
I am anticipating my next meeting with Lucy with open arms which probably will not be for a while.
<br>
<br>
And this chapter comes to a close. Damn that was a long time coming.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 44974</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jul 27, 2005</td><td>Views: 6,712</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=44974&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=44974&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Glowing Experiences (4), Entities / Beings (37), General (1), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">14 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(dried)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">185 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This is an attempt to recount the details of my first experience using psychadelics. I realize the above-stated doses are extreme, but they are accurate. I took these quantities out of ignorance having no prior experience or knowledge of appropriate first time methods. I had this trip 7 months ago and am still recovering.
<br>
<br>
My mental state going into this was one of 'lets do it man, lets see what life's all about,' but below the surface I've always had a good deal of anxiety and depression. I took the drugs at an outdoor concert venue in Washington state. First the mushrooms (all) and then the acid within 10 minutes. I was with two friends that I did not know well and did not completely trust. Initially, I felt small changes in sensory perception, beginning with color changes and auditory variations in volume. I made my way to the top of a hill where I could hear the music, and look out over the Columbia river gorge. Shortly after sitting down I heard my friend mention something and I turned my head to talk back. This is when the drugs hit me. When I turned my head, everything smeared visually. I shook my head, but doing this just made the smears start bouncing around and morphing into one another.
<br>
<br>
Having no prior experience with psychadelics, this was insane and I began to have intense pulsations of fear. I started reaching out with my arms for someone nearby, but my arms would disappear into these smeared geometric patterns and come back to wrap around my face. I tried yelling, but I couldn't understand the words coming from my mouth. Then the panic hit me really hard. My heart was pounding, I was sweating heavily, and I suddenly couldn't feel myself breathing. I then lost all subsequent feeling in my hands, feet, and facial organs. At this point I was roughly 2 hours in. Things got so distorted that I couldn't tell which one of my senses was picking up what. The things I was seeing are unexplainable. Just radical morphing images in my periphery whether I had my eyes open or closed it didn't matter. The things I focused on would lapse into the periphery. I began to have the experience of living distorted memories again, and I was seeing and touching faces, shapes, and forces that were not there (technically). It grew from this into my being just morphing with the sky and the earth. I felt like I was physically coming apart and transforming into different parts of the universe. I felt strongly that I was sitting in front of my body, and my motions were independent of it.
<br>
<br>
At roughly 4 hours the fear rose to a new level for me. It was a new kind of fear that I've never felt before. I was just completely paralyzed and I knew that I was approaching death. I had wave after wave of panic attacks, but there were also new emotions that I've never before encountered. At this point I couldn't take the fear and the horror I was going through, so I began trying to crawl toward a cliff I had seen earlier in an effort to throw myself off. Fortunately my motor skills were so impaired I was physically unable to move. I remember at that point just crying and giving up control. I just said 'its over let it take you' and in doing so some of the fear left me and I just laid there thinking about my family and friends and trying to connect with them on some level to send them my love.
<br>
<br>
About 6-7 hours in, my friends had managed to get me to an ambulance crew. There is only one thing I remember during the following 4 hours or so and that was asking the Medic what time it was. He replied '6:30' after awhile I asked him again and he said '6:15.' I couldn't fully comprehend this, but I can say that over the course of the trip (lasted about 18 hours) I thought years had gone bye.
<br>
<br>
I honestly cannot recall anything from about the 7th to 15th hours of the trip. I have snapshot-like memories of some very unexplainable things. Coming down was very sad. I was just overwhelmed with empathy for every living thing. I felt extremely detached from everyone around me, and my view of reality and the world was very distorted.
<br>
<br>
For months after this trip I had severe panic attacks/flashbacks and depression, along with a major change in reality perception. For the first several weeks after I felt like I was drifting on the line of psychosis. I am not the same person I was before this experience. Although I have healed spiritually, I have a hard time relating to anyone who has not had similar experiences and I continue to feel like this reality is a cage that I have to escape from. A note to all: don't take doses like this, I found it very hard to reintegrate myself into reality after doing so. Drugs are not necessesary to reach answers for the ultimate questions in life.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2004</td><td width="90">ExpID: 42633</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 2, 2005</td><td>Views: 9,500</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=42633&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=42633&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Mushrooms (39) : Difficult Experiences (5), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">inhaled</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/nitrous/">Nitrous Oxide</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gas)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:45</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/bzp/">Piperazines - BZP</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 3:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">70 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This is a yarn about people getting really, really twisted. I've given my background in another report but Ill skim through again: Pot, Shrooms, Acid, Mdma, Meth, 2CB, Salvia, Nitrous, some real shitty coke. The most interesting part of this report is probably going to be the BZP, which where I come from (New Zealand) is legal and is sold under the brand names Frenzy, Euphoria and Nemi. TMFPP, which is another form of Piperazine is sold as Exodus, but there is BZP in these as well, not very helpful for serious experimenters.
<br>
<br>
The setting was at a New Years eve outdoor Dance party, and a better setting would be hard to find in my opinion. The various areas and campsites were nestled amongst tall hills, a beatiful and unspoiled natural environment. The vibes were amazing, the weather was sunny and my friends and I immediately felt welcome. This was to be my fourth time on E and my second candyflip, but I was soon to find out that the gear I'd got this time was far, far superior to those times I've just mentioned. I was filled with nervous exitement, but being among a large group of friends who I'd been tight with for ages meant that there was nothing approaching a negative thought in my mind.
<br>
<br>
We broke out the pot in large amounts to pass the time but some of my friends were getting impatient and had heard there were some legal pills for sale that had an effect similar to speed. They went to obtain some of these while I continued to chill. The ones they got were Euphoria which I think had 50mg BZP per pill or maybe 75. Frenzy certainly have 75mg, and are stronger which makes me suspect they were 50. After being responsibly(!) informed by the supplier that they would go well with an E my friends G, P and D each took four of these pills. My other friend (P also) took two. An hour and a half later they were all visibly mashed. I had tried Exodus, the ones with TMFPP, before, and did my best to warn them about the many negative side effects I had experienced (extreme jaw clamping, contracted gut and extended loss of appetite) but everyone just saw me as a spoilsport and didn't pay any attention. P1 (one of the dudes on four) said that it was almost as good as a roll.
<br>
<br>
At this point I dropped my half Acid blotter (T 0:00) and we all sat around in the slowly fading sun, enjoying the last few moments of relaxation before the big night ahead. As my acid kicked in (T 0:45) I had a balloon and this confirmed that it was a good half dip, some very interesting visuals were occuring already. Also, since Euphoria came in four packs my mate P2 had a couple spare, so I thought what the hey and joined the others in partaking of this strange chemical.
<br>
<br>
By nightfall (T 1:45) I was well charged and anticipating the E to really do the business. The countdown was a bit of an anticlimax, probably because none of us had dropped our eccies yet. We wanted to hold out as long as possible, but at one am we could no longer resist (T3:30) and dropped. We walked around for a while, to pass the time and soon I was feeling extremely strange. I have no idea when it happened but at some stage I suddenly realised that I was no longer on Earth. I don't mean this metaphorically at all, I was literally on another planet. I think it was Mars or something. I felt like I was completely lost, but in a good way. The time distortion was just unbelievable. Seconds seemed like hours. Me, P1 and G ended up at the Tribal tent and tried to dance for a while but then we looked at each other and came to the realisation that we were seriously, seriously twisted.
<br>
<br>
We made the wise decision to head back to base camp and have bizarre, in-depth discussions about nothing in particular. My mate P1 had a different pill to us called an X-files and he was convinced that he was seeing aliens. Since I was on Mars, this made sense to me at the time. It helped that all the hard-trancers were running around with glow sticks. I started raving on about evolution, (I had been listening to a lot of Bill Hicks) and we looked up at the stars which were bright in a way that you only get in the middle of the bush. We sat there for about two hours, until our rolls became a bit more manageable.
<br>
<br>
As the first light appeared, we headed out to the main stage to see what we had come for, a DnB set from 48 Sonic and Riddle. It was kinda weird seeing a whole lot of people as wasted as us in the light in the middle of a field. The set was awesome, they spun the hugely appropriate 'Morning Light' by Concord Dawn. After this we went back to base, where in my tent were a few Nos' I had been saving. I had a balloon, and this was when I found myself in a corridor of infinity, that was marked by web-like electric blue patterns. I could see in front of me and behind me at the same time! Weird.
<br>
<br>
Outside, the others were smoking a blunt that had two types of weed and generous amounts of hash in it (no tobacco, but it was still as big as a cigar). As we were partaking of this I had a bizarre and mystical experience. A small child (four or five yrs old) had wandered over to our group. I immediately felt empathy towards her. She was telling me something about how she had lost her friend although she didn't seem upset or concerned. I felt a queasy sense of guilt as I watched the hash smoke waft in huge clouds around her face. I wished to god that she wasn't there, but knew she had some kind of message for me. I couldn't interpret this hidden message though. It was just like a dream that I knew I'd forget when I woke up.
<br>
<br>
I was coming down now, so I sought the comfort of my tent. Unfortunately, so had what seemed like a dozen or more white tailed spiders (poisonous). I wasn't imagining this! I decided to sleep outside on a rug in the sun instead.
<br>
<br>
The next day I could still feel the chemicals in my system. We decided on a change of scene and went to stay in Hahei the next night. A few tokes of Pot brought me a sense of warm well-being and as I lay under the stars with my closest friends I felt truly blessed to be on this crazy planet, no matter how fleeting and strange my experience of it has been and will be.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 26974</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 5, 2005</td><td>Views: 15,317</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=26974&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=26974&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">BZP (101), LSD (2), MDMA (3) : Combinations (3), Glowing Experiences (4), Rave / Dance Event (18)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">7 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">160 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Well, I had been in a self destructive mode for a few months. Doing way too many drugs, way too often. I had done acid only about two to three times before and the first time had been life changing, I had the perfect first experience and decided that a bad trip was not possible for me after such a night. Boy was I wrong.
<br>
<br>
I’d just started reading a lot about existentialism and had just finished reading a decent amount about Zen Buddhism. Another piece of media that had influenced my trip slightly was a film titled ‘waking life’ but anyway I’m starting to ramble so I’ll get on to the bad trip night.
<br>
<br>
I’d met a girl just once and I knew a few of her friends but had not actually gotten to hang out with any of them before, I gave her a call and we decided to do something that evening. First we had to wait for her friend to get off work, he was a DJ at a really cheesy bar, so the night started off kinda strangely. After he got off work we met up with another one of her friends who suggested we get some drugs of some sort and go to his place to listen to him spin (a DJ who is into trance/hardhouse) she and I (I’ll call her X from this point on) and her first DJ friend (y from now on) decided to try to find some LSD. Y had never done it before and X had about four times never more than two hits. I had bought ten really, really weak hits the previous weekend and had about seven which barely caused any hallucinations, so I decided I’d like a normal type of trip for the night. So we left X’s car and hopped into the second DJ’s house who we’d be going to (from now on z) in search of some LSD. Needless to say we found some and I bought plenty for the evening (25 because it was supposed to be good and good stuff is hard to come by where I was living). And we headed off to Z’s house.
<br>
<br>
We stopped along the way and bought slurpies and candy (unfortunately) Z was spinning some psytrance on his amazing system and the rest of us were sitting on a couch listening and had taken two hits each and waited. WE waited about two hrs and about the only effect was that a ball with a smiley face seemed to be winking at me (things always wink at me when I take LSD or mushrooms, things like houses and toys, pretty much anything that has a face like structure) I had taken about three grams of vitamin c that day because of a cold I was getting over, and I think that may have been suppressing the visuals. I was getting giddy, and started thinking some strange thoughts, however I was feeling letdown thinking that I had bought 100 dollars worth of bunk ’cid. Y started to get pretty funny though but X was becoming quite irritated with the two of us, and was a source of some seriously bad vibes. I decided to pretty much leave her alone for the rest of the night. Now comes the turning point of my evening. For some reason (it’s something to do with the self destructive things I do, when things are going well for me I seem to throw a wrench in them) I found a pair of scissors and cut off a strip of five hits, I figured if this stuff is weak then that would be appropriate. (I hadn’t waited long enough, a mistake often made when people take drugs).
<br>
<br>
I put the five hits on my tongue and sat back down on the couch. X asked me to open my mouth, and when she saw the strip she smacked me and became quite pissed off that I’d done something so ridiculous. About ten minutes later I started feeling really high (the next five likely hadn’t done anything yet) and Y and I decided to go for a stroll. Z’s place was a two story duplex, and while in the stairway I lay down and completely lost track in my mind of which way was up. After about twenty minutes we finished putting our shoes on and went out into the beautiful Monday morning. We got out on the stoop and promised not to leave the yard for fear of getting lost. I was becoming quite high, without the hallucinations however. I noticed how large Y’s head was though and laughed about it for a good five minutes then when I wiped the tears off Y said he wanted to go back in.
<br>
<br>
We hadn’t left the stoop yet and when we turned around we were faced with an enormous problem. Because the house was a duplex there were two doors leading to two different living spaces side by side, and neither of us could remember which door we had just exited. HAHA, really funny. We laughed for about twenty minutes until our stomachs hurt too much to laugh, but then it became an actual problem, we honestly didn’t know which door to go into and they both looked exactly alike. We didn’t want to try the wrong one for fear of getting a pissed off neighbour on our case (by this time I was becoming extremely high and the absurdity of the world around me was becoming hard to ignore) Finally X came out making it look so easy to exit the right door (for her it was, but we forgot that) and another ten minute spell of hysterics began. We went back inside.
<br>
<br>
Now, somewhere between the door way and the basement, I decided that there isn’t anything in life that someone can want that they can’t have. (Thought it would make a great bumper sticker, and became quite annoying in stating that.) X became down right pissed off at my repeating and ranting and told me to go outside. Her anger set off something in me, and I went in sat in the stairway (I was afraid to go outside). At this point my bad trip started. I started thinking in circles, started relating things in ways that I felt were amazing coincidences, e.g. The way every man really looked the same but our mind made the physical appearance differences (I dunno, it seemed right at the time) and how Aristotle was right with his four elements, which I changed into the four colors in the windows symbol then divided them into halves, pretty soon the whole world was made up of only black or white, wrong or right, the dark side or the light side, Darth Vader or Luke Skywalker, one or zero. I then thought my life was so confusing and difficult because I couldn’t decide so I began to meditate. I ended up thinking that everything in existence was one simple mass amount of data and that we were simply a insignificant little part of it trying to take as much in as possible, in some sort of greedy way. Like all of existence were a wall, and we were just a short scratch along it’s side. (My first trip I was in a bar, and sitting and on a huge screen directly across from me they played Pink Floyd the wall onto for the first time I’d ever seen it.)
<br>
<br>
So I suppose I had the “Another Brick in the Wall” thing inspiring that thought. Anyway it was like I had an epiphany like existence became clear to me. Everything fit, except that I had to chose one or two, black or white, etc. So I went back downstairs and tried sharing this with my peers who were very unreceptive. (It probably sounded like rambling as I don’t have the best verbal expletive skills, although I doubt getting across what I was thinking is humanly possible even though I am now trying.) X started yelling at me, and Y was laying on the floor dropping a ball and expecting it to fall to the ceiling and then becoming disappointed when it didn’t. I decided on the dark side so I threw an expensive remote control to the wall and then laughed evilly.
<br>
<br>
At this point the idea of a black and white fractal started running though my mind and the utter pointlessness of existence hit me hard. From that point on everything that anyone said to me was a question, that the rest of my life had led up to, and I only gave the wrong answer. (What was really happening I believe is I was being asked questions on how to get home, and I was giving up only nonsense to which they would sigh and become annoyed with.) When they sighed it was like everything in existence had boiled up to that one moment, and that all of this absurd existence had been conjured up by some god like beings for eons never ending in hope that I would answer the question correctly. And I couldn’t. And when I didn’t (from now on I’m stating the experience as I thought it was happening not as it was because I was beyond reality), it meant that everything was doomed to repeat itself over and over until I did. The catch was that I was certain I never would, so we’d spiral off into eternity with no hope of ever knowing why we were there (the sad thing is that part is true, we never will know). All of a sudden X and Y were these omnipresent (because they were always near me to make sure I didn’t do something stupid) beings that were toying with all of mankind, like they had created us on a bet to see if I’d answer this question right, or not. I think at that point I truly understood Kantian idealism. For time and space made a lot more sense to me. I realized that every atom I was made up of had been going though time, and had been in space for ever as far as I knew and would always be as far as I knew.
<br>
<br>
By now X and Y were trying to send me in a cab, but I had no cash, so they walked me down the street to a sev to get cash, I only spit out the wrong answer to the nature of our existence when asked for my pin number so they couldn’t send me, not even on a bus which they would have (that would have been even worse). I tried to steal a car (I thought maybe that was the answer to the question of existence) that was followed by a lot of yelling and threats, then I ate a pepper that had been sitting for possibly days on the sidewalk, and they walked me back to Z’s house and they decided to wait till they could drive me home.
<br>
<br>
On the way home I decided that maybe sitting (in the Zen meditation type of way) was the only way to endure eternity, and kept trying to sit, which was always followed by more yelling. The next bit is hazy, colors were changing, I had visions of being on huge cliffs staring into vast empty space, it was all scary in the sense that I realized I’d never answer the question of why I was in existence. Next I got back into thinking about the black/white 1/0 thoughts, and decided that I was an electron, and these questions I always had to answer though life were really the random patterns electrons would travel along if given equal conditions for either way (I don’t know what the hell that means).
<br>
<br>
When we got back, I started lazing around on the front yard, and became ill and threw up a bunch of candy I’d eaten before and thought this was some sort of punishment for never giving the right answer. Then I thought about what a sick joke being stuck in existence for eternity was and asked X and Y why. Why had they done this to me. It was horrible. I felt the full responsibility for all of everything being stuck in existence, not being given a choice, which meant I was responsible for all war, famine, sickness, pain, boredom and uselessness life affords our universe. I relived my life. It actually felt like I relived my life, I remembered a lot of it, time was slowed down for me I reminisced about my life and realized it was all part of this setup, this sick joke these godlike creatures had set up to get me to answer correctly the information even they didn’t know (actually X and Y).
<br>
<br>
It hurt the most that I hadn’t noticed until then, and that the love I’d made to the girl the previous weekend had been not by choice, but just something set up to get an answer. But then something happened. I was feeling/seeing endless fractals as a representation of all these choices an electron went through, these ones and zeros it went from random chaos but then I had a thought (which I have heard in K-Pax the movie, but I hadn’t ever seen it yet as of that trip date) that each choice required the complete cycle of our universe expanding until it collapsed upon itself at which point the big bang happens and it repeats itself endlessly for eternity, but I had this revelation that each time it happened a slight memory in space of it happening caused things like people who can tell the future, or unexplainable feelings such as deja-vu. And that over these eons and eons a bit of refining happened. Over these countless years, where time measurements as we define them are so insignificant that I can’t even bother to state them, a sort of collective memory had formed like the birth of a new type of existence. One that in its early age could be represented by white noise, random patterns, and at its peak of evolution could be best defined as Buddha. This thought I had was that I was watching it happen, I was seeing it emerge from the chaos. Seeing the end of one divided by three, the end of pi, the rough edge being sanded into a single and perfect ninety degree angle. But before I completely understood it slipped away from me…and I felt the greatest pain I ever have, and it felt like the greatest pain possible any sentient life would ever feel.
<br>
<br>
At that point the feeling of free choice died, before I could choose my final choice…it all slipped away…and I came down rather quickly. I went home, and was the most suicidal I have ever been. Very close.
<br>
<br>
I will never forget that trip, ever. Existential writings are much easier for me to understand. Artists like Dali seem to have more meaning and existence has never seemed to have less meaning. I don’t know if that experience was a bad trip, or the best possible without figuring out a new science for existence explanation, but now I cannot take psychedelics, and have had some flashbacks. The flashbacks are not anywhere near intense, however while driving once I had the exact same feeling as when I sat on the stoops and couldn’t remember which door it was that I came out of. It felt like reality had done an exchange, I couldn’t decide which lane I should be in, or what side of the highway the city was on (was on the outskirts of a city).
<br>
<br>
One time I was on a cocktail of different drugs, and I developed a bit of a trip that was similar, but no where near it, just a few of the same ideas being circulated. A bit of a new thought that we don’t go though time, but that time is more like a hamster’s wheel, we’re always traveling, but going nowhere. I think I said something like ‘Man time/reality is slippery.’
<br>
<br>
Anyway I don’t know if I’ve ever written anything this long, and thinking about all of this again is kind of putting me into a mind state that is actually beginning to scare my as I type this. So it’ll end here. I don’t know if anyone will read this whole thing, but I’ll save it for my own use.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2002</td><td width="90">ExpID: 20047</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 8, 2005</td><td>Views: 8,934</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=20047&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=20047&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), HPPD / Lasting Visuals (40), Mystical Experiences (9), Difficult Experiences (5)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
My sophomore year of college I did a lot of acid. I did it to gain insight about anything and everything. It seemed and still seems like a miraculous substance to me, cleansing and empowering. I decided to take it in class, and astronomy seemed the best venue. It was in a large dark lecture hall with comfy seats and movies about the cosmos. I dropped a hit or two a few hours before the class so that I would be past my peak by the time I was there. I have a real tolerance to acid, and nobody can tell when I'm tripping, so I figured that it was worth a go. I was excited to learn what the acid might help me experience this time, and not nervous or uncomfortable at all.
<br>
The lesson was on the death of stars and the formation of their remnants. It was amazing! Pure serendipity that I tripped during a lesson where there was speculative physics involved!
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<br>
The professor talking about the slowing of time, and the warping of the space-time continuum sowed the seeds in my head for one of the best school experiences I ever had. I was amazed that my split acid consciousness could pay attention, take notes, and contemplate the universe at breakneck mental speed. Every thought seemed to 'glow'- to have a beautiful resonance, since my mind was freed of 'static'. The warm padded seats, general good 'vibes' of the room, and the lack of light other than that of the projector were all delectable, in ways only acid and deep meditation have given me. I think this is also due to the lack of mental 'static' which might have otherwise dulled and blurred my sensory perception. I left the class wishing it had been longer than an hour and a half. My consciousness digested the lecture and experience, as my inner, higher self stilled, and . . . well . . . I don't have words for what happened, but I bet you trippers and meditators out there know.
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<br>
I decided to trip again in class. This time it was the final. My friends thought I was insane to do so. My inner being knew that it would be good. I had perfect grades in the class up to that point, and I trusted myself and the acid. I somehow instinctually knew that I should do it, in a 'part of my gut' that's never led me astray.
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<br>
I dropped 5 hits of blotter a few hours before coming into class. Going up was fun, dancing and singing in my dorm room, letting emotions expand from me through my actions. It was beautiful. I was peaking as i walked into the classroom. I felt serenely confidant of the situation. It was as if I were God in mortals' flesh, playing their game, and I was going to show them a thing or two. The nerves of the other students and the strained expressions of the teaching assistants were like a boiling sea I could see from a cliff-top. The kids around me were talking about how much they'd studied, and they asked me if I had. I said 'Of course not, you know me.' and they seemed to cringe.
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<br>
The paper landed on my desk and it began. I observed the workings of my 'conscious, logical mind' as if separate from it. It was myself that I marveled at this class instead of the infinite universe. Numbers slid through equations in my head like kids in a slide at the water park. Memories bubbled up in perfect synch with my thoughts, meshing with them to form essays, and make calculations and charts. The removal of thoughts from their contexts that my logical mind was doing startled me. In the lecture all became one, as if I zoomed out on a picture. In the test, the zoom went in to the ultimate degree. I had the oddest sensation watching myself: the processes of my test-taking mind looked so easy even though I was working at full throttle. Suddenly it ended. I felt the mental equivalent of a runner's high. I raised my hand for the teaching assistant to take the test from me. She smiled weakly at me, and walked off with my masterpiece. I left the room aglow, and went to eat. (I'm the only one of my friends who likes to eat while tripping.)
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<br>
I felt my class trips had revolutionized the way I saw school, my mind, and the universe. I truly felt that acid is an entheogen - something that puts god within, or rather, I realized my inherent divine nature. I do not suggest that anyone trip in class per se, but that everyone find their instinctual core - the little voice of council inside that is never wrong. AND LISTEN TO IT! Incidentally, I got a perfect score on the final, and A in the course, and congrats from the professor ;)<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2002</td><td width="90">ExpID: 19534</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 15, 2005</td><td>Views: 7,313</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=19534&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=19534&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), School (35)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">75 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
After last night. I have come to terms with my spiritual self.
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3 double dose blotters. Dose.
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I wanted to go for that earth shattering experience. And I got it. I really wanted to learn about my spiritual side this time...and I learnt. And learnt and learnt. I had a peak religious experience.
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<br>
Comming up was rather chaotic and intense. I was with 2 other people. 1 one of them wasnt tripping, the other was on the same dose as me. I find being around 2 people a bit hard. I dunno. Once the 3rd person went to bed. Me and person 2 had such a better time. We put on some trance music. Had heaps of energy and started to dance. Felt good as usually. Decided to go into the dark bathroom and experience some sensory deprivation. This was kind of weird because it felt as though I was a voice with no body and head and I felt as if I existed in a spirit realm. Started to get really really good closed eye visuals. These were great. So many patterns and combinations of colour and light. Amazing. I didnt know this was possible. We went on our usual walk to the store to get some food. The world is breathing and humming and throbbing. Everything is alive and well at this point in time. We get back and start looking at some psychadelic posters with those kewl designs on them. This was kewl. I was enjoying this experience but it was nothing compared to what was about to happen.
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<br>
My friend has a sofa bed/futon fold out setup in the lounge room so we rolled that out and had a lie down. It felt as if the whole bed was a raft and we were floating on some great ocean. As the carpet was waving and morphing at this point. Like water. The boat was going up and down with the waves. We were both experiencing this. It was amazing. We could see animal life swimming in the carpet and I felt as though I was really on the open sea. Wind blowing us around. Bobbing up and down in the water. I began to realise it felt so good just to lie still on the raft. And if concentrated enough on being totally still, it felt as if I was sinking into myself? Or like I was melting into a mould? It's hard to explain. But it feels so right. After awhile I started paying closer attention to the carpet. Upon closer inspection the whole sea was filled with letters! Everywhere I saw letters of the alphabet in random patterns and combinations and spiraling in and out up and down flowing like water. I got closer and closer to the 'water' and I saw more and more letters. They got thicker and thicker. It was like those fractal things they use in math. Never ending. It felt amazing just drifting there.
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<br>
After that we start to lie on the other side of the bed and on the carpet on that side were cd's. All my cds were there and it totally changed the mood. It was like the cds reminded us of reality. We didn't like it at first. But then we started to ignore the fact that the cds were full of music. We started to notice the right reflections on the cds. And playing with them. It felt amazing seeing the light.
<br>
<br>
This is where it starts to get interesting : After my previous trip I'd become interested in Buddhism. I burnt some Buddhist and new age chant music onto a cd and stuck it in. I just wanted to see how it would be. And I realised instantly this was the best music I'd ever heard in my life! Ever. This was it. So simple. And soothing and relaxing. We began to lie there and a Buddhist chanter began singing. We BOTH at the same time started sweating! We felt so warm just listening to it. It was a really really nice heat. Comming from the inside out. It was bliss. Better then sex. Better then anything I'd ever experienced. We just kept sweating. It only worked with this particular chant though. It was really overwhelming...we slowly started to realise that we were in Tibet! It was like we were really there. I could imagine the monestary and the monks praying peacefully, not harming anyone. I felt so happy, and complete it was amazing. I felt nothing! No emotion but this pure bliss. Satisfaction. I wanted nothing but to be in a room, an empty room, just listening to that music. I wouldn't even have to see the speakers. That's all I needed! Nothing else mattered. Something as simple as a peice of bread was enough. It felt like an entire meal. The smell the texture was amazing. I could taste through my nose!
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<br>
We continued to feel as though we were in Tibet. We could imagine everything. I brought a book about Buddhism along with me as I was reading it at uni the previous day. I flipped open to a map of Tibet. And I realised as tears came to my eyes, that it was home!! I've never felt so drawn to a place before. It was like it was the home I've been searching for all my life. Even now it's hard to come to terms with this. The simplicity and the peace of Buddhism was just moving me so much. I felt so good! So emotionally flat line. If aliens came down into the room at that moment I would embrace them. Not fear them! Which is what I would normally do.
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<br>
We had been in our Buddhist world for 2 hours now. I felt like a chinese monk. I went and looked in the mirror and I looked chinese. I felt like eating vegetarian food. No meat. Simple foods.
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<br>
Over the past few weeks due to tripping I've noticed that my sex drive had decreased. It's very low now. But the thing is, I don't really mind. I'm kewl with it. It's better then being horny all the time and not having any release. After experiencing what I experienced, sex is put in perspective big time! Its not that big a deal for me.
<br>
<br>
The sun was starting to rise at this point and my friend's appartment is overlooking a major freeway here in Melbourne. And it was peak hour weekday traffic at this point. This was a wonderful view. We saw a almost empty freeway burst into activity. People going to work. It was like everyone was in a panic. Rushing rushing rushing. I felt like walking down to the freeway and just telling everyone to stop and relax and hug each other and realise so much more. We felt like 2 enlightened beings looking down on a chaotic world, however we didn't look at them as lower beings. We felt sorry for them. I began crying again. And I said. 'The world is so beautiful... why'? Why do people fail to see this? We are the ones that create the shit in order to avoid the so called shit. Its an endless spiral of self denial.
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<br>
All the while we were still in Tibet! We lay there and saw amazing visuals that played really well with the meditation music. As I closed my eyes I saw brilliant light. White and pure. I saw mountains, snow, valleys. Rivers. Nature. It was amazing. I was so relaxed!!! I can't emphasise how great this felt. This went on for 2+ hours. Meditation. We slowly began to drift into a deep peaceful sleep. The amazing thing is that when my non-tripping friend woke up he took a picture of me sleeping. And I had fallen asleep with a smile on my face!! I still feel really great right now. I feel contented. I feel I've had a peak experience. No more LSD for awhile because I wouldn't want to get bored of this because of repetition. It's so special. So so special. If everyone in the world experienced the same thing we went through, believe me. There would be no fighting. All I have to do is have an open mind in terms of my spirituality and LSD will lead me in the right direction. We as a world are beautiful. We are beautiful. There is no ugly. Only ugly thoughts. That is how I'm going to end this one. I hope I have had an impact on someone with my thoughts.
<br>
<br>
In the past few weeks LSD has done for me what psychiatry has been attempting to do for 10 years and was never nearly successful. I have been on anti-depressants, lithium and all sorts of other meds which never really worked. I've been to therapy groups and sessions. Spent countless hundereds of dollars for very little improvement. I imagined myself under clinical conditions when I took LSD. I wasn't doing it for a kick. I tailored my own treatment session. I designed the setting in my own personal way. And this worked. And I can't get over it. I have gone from being a depressed, anxious, angry, frustrated individual to being someone who is contented, happy, not anxious and calm. Each trip has made me realise that the world isn't as bad as it may seem. It has made me realise the true potential in my own brain and how amazing it is. It has made me become more self-confident in my abilities to learn, understand and experience. I have been able to concentrate and come up with better ideas at school. I show proper emotion now. I can relate to loved ones and family much better. I am finally living. It is truly amazing and I really don't understand why psychadelic therapy with LSD was banned. If taken for the right reasons the risks associated with LSD are no greater then the risk of taking an anti-depressant, which by the way are handed out like candies, which really messed me up. I can't even put in words how much I have improved. It's like I'm a new person. A person waiting for an opportunity to come out.
<br>
<br>
And LSD has done this. It was my miracle cure. Thank you Dr. Hofmann.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2004</td><td width="90">ExpID: 32307</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 23, 2005</td><td>Views: 14,614</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=32307&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=32307&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Health Benefits (32), Depression (15), Mystical Experiences (9), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
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<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1.0 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/amphetamines/">Amphetamines</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 drops</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">200 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It started off as a harmless birthday party. My friends, Nic and Cat, were extremely lucky to get the flat they did. It's a basement flat and an old deaf lady lives above them so she doesn't hear the noise. Even the noise of approximately 40 people partying hard with the decks at full volume.
<br>
<br>
I arrived at whatever time I arrived. I'm guessing that this was about half seven pm on the Saturday. I was one of the first to arrive, and indeed arrived before the hard-core drugs did, and before the music. So, smoking hash commences. So far it's not that jumpin a party, but then our guy arrives with some speed, pills, and for some reason a bottle of acid. I'm not sure why he thought the liquid acid would be any good at a party with forty people. Maybe he just happened to have it on him.
<br>
<br>
Anyway, I bought a gram of speed and three pills. I took two pills and had a few lines of base while I was waiting to come up. The speed was great, and the pills were fine. I'm used to doing speed and pills; I do them on a semi-regularly basis just for a bit of fun. Everyone was having a fantastic time, the people who were wasted and the people who were straight (most of them were working the next day). There were people fire dancing, which just looks so amazing when you're on pretty much any drug, and still looks cool when you're not.
<br>
<br>
I persuaded one of my friends to let me have a go of his pois (that's fire on chains). It's one of the most fun things to do while off your face. I'd recommend it to anyone, although you should definitely have several people watching you so that if you set your clothes on fire, someone notices for you, because you won't on you own! We have great photos of one of my friends totally covered in black slimy soot from the paraffin, but I digress.
<br>
<br>
The bathroom was one of the quiet rooms of the house. It's a really big bathroom with lots of floor space, and lots of fucked people, for some reason, just began to congregate there. I believe it may have started off just being the bath. I have vagueish memories of sitting in the bath with other people. We talked, we occasionally danced, we smoked hash, and we were all having a great time. There were a few people (there always are at big parties) who were a lot more fucked than everyone else. One girl was wandering about in a daze for most of the night, speeding off her face. There was a guy there who ended up spending almost the entire night unconscious on the sofa. His head bounced spasmodically from side to side. I'm sure in his head he was having a fantastic time dancing away and chatting to people, but he was in fact totally monged out all night. He only opened his eyes when the music stopped (which was rarely) and just sat there looking confused for a few moments before it started up again. Everyone kept half an eye on both these people all night, and both were fine by morning.
<br>
<br>
As the night progressed, those who were drug free left for bed. The remainder then separated into two groups. In one group were those for whom it had been enough. They'd either run out of drugs or were too knackered for the drugs to be working any longer. The first group was the one that I was in. We were the hardcore party animals who had been up for the whole night and decided that it would be a good idea to go and watch the sun rise. Eventually this was agreed on and we set off for the beach. It was cold and drizzling slightly. This was not a great environment for people who have been up all night on drugs. I think some of us were feeling that much more of this would simply lead to the dreaded comedown. We climbed the fence into the ruined castle, but we couldn't find a part of the castle that was sheltered enough to skin up in, so we just headed back. The sky was much lighter, but the sun was still not yet up.
<br>
<br>
We sat for a while in the living room, our remnant looking more and more depressed as the minutes passed. People skinned up and joints were created, but this was no longer enough for any of us. Then someone suggested that we all go on an acid trip. It seemed like a really good idea at the time. I'd done acid before, but only in very small amounts--enough for a mild trip, but no more--so I was eager to try it properly. Seven of us ended up taking a taxi to the house seven miles out of town where we could trip for six hours or so uninterrupted.
<br>
<br>
After sitting down and smoking a spliff or two, we got down to business. The guy with the acid reckoned that two drops of the liquid acid would suffice, judging on previous experience from the same bottle. There was one other person there who had never taken a big dose of acid. We agreed to keep an eye on each other. We were all experienced drug users, and expected just to have a laugh and ignore the hideous comedowns that had set in until we could sleep them off a bit later in the day. I don't actually remember what it tasted like now, but I remember discussing it at the time.
<br>
<br>
So that was it; the deed was done. All we could do now was wait. I remember wondering how long it would take. We decided that the curtains should be closed. The view outside wasn't very stunning, and the cold and the wet looked unpleasant, although the sky was starting to clear by then. I think it was about ten am on the Sunday, but I'm not entirely sure.
<br>
<br>
We sat and smoked up some more, waiting, listening to music. I have no idea how long after that we actually started tripping, but I do remember sitting on the sofa looking at the ceiling, fascinated for a while before I realised that it had started. The ceiling was made of pine and was full of knotholes. I'm not sure what drew my eye up there, but I noticed that some of the dark knots had started to move around the ceiling. I pointed this out to everyone, and soon we were all there.
<br>
<br>
It's amazing how quickly time passed and how far things degenerated. We spent a long time sitting and chattering amongst ourselves. My brain turned to putty and I kept saying things that I didn't mean to say. It wasn't that I didn't want to say them, it's just that my train of thought started coming out my mouth. I couldn't stop stating really obvious things like 'The sky is blue' and asking really mundane questions. It made people laugh and it was interesting to see what the LSD had done to my brain.
<br>
<br>
Going to the toilet turned out to be a bit of an adventure. That sounds slightly wrong, but it really was. I'd been in the same room the whole time and hadn't even tried walking or standing. When I did get up to go after a few hours of sitting on the floor, it was like trying to walk on the moon. My depth perception was fucked, and I could watch my legs bending and stretching out and shrinking and folding. It was great! As I hadn't left the room before, I didn't know what the rest of the house was like. I was very confused. There were stairs everywhere. Some of the staircases were really narrow and long. Others were wide, but only had three or four steps. I was very confused at the time. I couldn't decide whether or not I was hallucinating all these stairs. There seemed to be a set between every single room. I later on confirmed that this was the case. The house we were in had been built upon an old ruin and started off very small with bits and pieces being added over the years. It was a fantastic house for a trip. In the toilet on the window ledge there were some ornamental shells. There appeared to be lots and lots of spider web just on that shelf and nowhere else. I couldn't tell if it was real or not, but the spiders kept me from investigating further.
<br>
<br>
Back in the main room, the knots in the ceiling had turned into beetles and were running all around, but this was ok as the ceiling was where they 'belonged' and I intuitively knew that they would stay up there. I had a brief look outside the curtains, but the alien landscape outside was a bit daunting, so I decided to leave it alone. The joint-making had suddenly become very bad indeed. Everything looked wrong. All the dimensions were warped. I tried rolling some cigarettes, and that was difficult enough. It took an enormous amount of concentration. The result of five minutes' work looked extremely strange. Anything we rolled always seemed too short, but the length of the skins hadn't changed. It was a bit of a mystery. Smoking itself was great fun though. Occasionally it was hard to work out if we'd ashed the carpet by mistake or if something had fallen off the end of the spliff or roll-up, but usually after checking the carpet nothing had. Watching the smoke curl and float about was fantastic. At times it looked solid and so real, but then my perception would shift again slightly and I'd see infinitely deeply into the smoke and out the other side. It's a difficult thing to describe, but it was mesmerising.
<br>
<br>
After maybe four or five hours of this, one of us received a phone call to say that their flat was being inspected. The poor guy who had been phoned had absolutely no idea what to do. We were all far too fucked to be of any help cleaning up the flat. That was our first stress. I remember looking at the clock at that point to check how long it was until the flat inspection was supposed to occur. This was almost impossible. At one point the three different hands on the clock ticked in three different directions, even though there are only two directions (clockwise and anticlockwise) possible and only one direction they were made to go in. I realised at that point that my brain was fucked enough to be creating three dimensions out of two-dimensional object. I decided that now would be my best chance ever of imagining a hyper-cube (a four-dimesional cube for those of you who don't know), or better yet--as three dimensional representations of four-dimensional cubes are almost possible, making them easier to picture--a hyper-sphere would be really really impressive. I spent about five minutes doing this. My brain boggled and came close to leaking out my ears. I decided it would be better just to leave it for another time. I kept being destracted by the stress of my fellow trippers.
<br>
<br>
Our second stress, and first major problem occurred at about four o'clock. The guy to whom the house we were in belonged received a text message from his parents to say that they were coming home early (they hadn't been due back for a day) and would see him in about an hour. At this point things became really confusing for me. We managed to work out that we'd all have to leave. We also had to tidy up and leave no evidence of our being there. The problem was that we couldn't agree on where to go. I reckoned the best place would be to go back to the party flat that we'd started in. It would be safe there, and people would understand our predicament and leave us to come back down to baseline. Others believed that heading for the fields to look for magic mushrooms would be a much better idea. We eventually got the place tidied up, but it took a long time and a lot of effort. People started making toast and soup, thinking that this would help in some way. The windows were opened to let the room air, but this was confusing as the wind began blowing things around. I remember some of the observations I made at the time. One that sticks out was that we had been reduced to mob mentality. A person can be intelligent, but people are stupid. We were like people, I realised. Not just seven people. We were more like 700 all trying to do the same task. We got in each other's way, we drifted about aimlessly, and we did things that didn't need to be done. Eventually we got organised enough to think properly about leaving and where to go. I remember being really proud of our achievement at this time. I decided that we were like different facets of the same mind. We had had a goal, and we had achieved it. We'd done what we set out to do, and somehow the idea of a hive-mind seemed agreeable to me at the time. We were just deciding that it would be a good idea to get in a taxi back to town when a taxi pulled up outside. After a moment's conference we discovered that someone had already phoned one and forgotten about it completely.
<br>
<br>
Just a quick note here: at the time I didn't know that we were tripping more heavily and for longer than we'd intended. It was my first time taking this much acid, so I thought that this was all going to plan, except of course the early return of parents. I was very happy up until the point that we left the house. There were stresses and problems, but they weren't my worries. I could try and help, and just tried not to think about the fact that we had to leave the house. It made me feel a bit panicky, thinking about how we were going to get the seven miles back into town in a direction I didn't know and go somewhere we hadnt' decided, so I just didn't think about it until I had to.
<br>
<br>
It took us so long to get out to the taxi that he'd started to drive off, but one guy ran after it and stopped him. I have no idea what he said to convince the driver to let seven heavily-tripping people into his taxi, but it worked. I was sat in the back and the guy I was sitting next to started talking to me about stabbing a biro pen into the neck of the taxi driver to stop him telling anyone. I thought/hoped he was joking and went along with him for a bit. I couldn't tell how loud we were talking though and started to worry that the driver could hear us. We got back into town and the driver asked us where in town we wanted to go. Seven different voices stated seven different destinations. The taxi driver said that he'd just drop us off where we were so I shouted over them all and told the driver to take us to the street the party had been on. This was where the party had started, and it seemed fitting to me that it should also end there.
<br>
<br>
We got out the taxi and someone paid the driver. We'd almost forgotten.
<br>
<br>
We were all just heading down to the original party flat, when some of us decided that the pub would be better and our local was the safest. Apparently people were thinking that if we went back to the flat we'd get roped into cleaning up, which, in our hallucinatory state, would not have been easy. I remember asking everyone individually if they'd rather go to the pub or back to a nice flat where we could chill, and only one person actually wanted to go to the pub. However, the group mind had already decided and there seemed to be no way out of it. We walked into the pub at about half past five on the Sunday evening. Thankfully it was quiet. There were only about six people there, and I knew most of them at least vaguely. Perhaps this wouldn't be too bad after all. Some of us sat down, and some of us ordered drinks. I sat down and waited to see what would happen next. The general opinion seemed to be that we were going to have a drink here and then move on to the flat, but, of course, it really didn't work that way.
<br>
<br>
We were in the pub for almost three hours. Those were the worst three hours of my life. I think that I started really coming down off the speed from the night before about then. I started getting intensely paranoid. I remember trying to interact with some of the people there, but the attempt was futile. I'd hear them say half of a sentence that made no sense before they descended into what seemed to me to be complete gibberish, not even speaking words.
<br>
<br>
During those hours, I sat mulling over what course of action I should take; many thoughts crossed my mind. I considered killing everyone, or myself, or screaming at everyone to stop fucking with my mind. Words can't express that experience. I know now what a bad trip is be like, but I would still do it again. I was actally in hell for what felt like days. However, I pride myself on the fact that I didn't completely freak out. On the inside, I completely fell apart, but outwardly I was fine. I was told that my eyes were as big as saucers the whole time I was there, and my sober friends could tell that all was not well, but I didn't completely break down.
<br>
<br>
My thoughts were running in circles. Random thoughts were going through my head that I had no real control over. I felt my mind fracture and splinter, and it was such an effort just to keep myself in the seat, but on the other hand, I felt that I couldn't leave everyone else because I would then be truly alone and I was scared. I was terrified that I wouldn't recover and that I'd spend the rest of my life in this living hell. I felt so small and fragile. I honestly contemplated suicide and murder, and for a while I actually did think that I was already dead and that this was hell.
<br>
<br>
I don't know how bad that was, but I do know that things could have gone a lot worse. If I had lost my self control, I honestly would completely have freaked out. I had a long time to think about many things. I don't know whether or not the conclusions that I made during that time are correct or not, but I do know that I learned a lot about myself and the way my mind works. I survived.
<br>
<br>
I could tell myself that this was something beyond my control, that the tripping would stop at somepoint, and that everything would be normal again. I'm not sure if it would have been better if I'd left the pub or not. I do know that I couldn't though. I had to stay with the other tripping people. I wasn't ready to face the world on my own. I became extremely insecure.
<br>
<br>
I'm going to try and record some of the conclusions that I made while I was in this state. It's going to be hard to put into words though.
<br>
<br>
At several points, I could feel my mind fracture and spin off in different directions. It was a bit like the clock from before. The clock whose hands went in three different directions. I had more than one train of thought running at once. It's an extremely bizarre feeling. I couldn't focus on anything for more than a few seconds...literally. I don't know how many times I asked when we were going to head back to the flat, but I think it was quite a lot.
<br>
<br>
I remember feeling me trying to hide within myself, that is, my self awareness or my consciousness was retreating deeper and deeper. I think that this was some kind of defense mechanism. I was trying to get away from what I was experiencing, but I couldn't physically get out, only hide myself mentally. At the time, I thought that this might be how some patients at mental hospitals must live. It frightened me to realise just how much acid can fuck a person up.
<br>
<br>
I'm giving up on trying to describe this properly. I can't even remember it clearly and I really can't find the words to convey what it was like. I've spoken to some of the people that were in the pub at the time. I wanted to find out how much they had been trying to fuck with us, and it turned out not to be that much at all. I could have sworn that half of the time I was there, people were trying to mess with our minds. That, however, was just my mind messing with me.
<br>
<br>
Having experienced this though, I'd still say that acid is a really fun drug to use, but in future I'm going to treat it with a bit more respect and caution. I know that I have a tendency to rush into things without really thinking the consequences through properly, but at the same time I have an excellent capacity to look after myself.
<br>
<br>
I spent over a week dazed and confused from that experience. I later learned that our dosage had been misjudged. The fact that we'd been up all night partying hard and taking other drugs was not taken into account and what was supposed to be a mild six-hour trip became a twelve hour epic adventure. This is an experience that I will never ever forget, and something that I hope I can really learn from. I know that I have already gained a lot of knowledge about myself. I know it's a bit of an acid cliche, but it's one of those cliches that you really don't appreciate until you've been through it yourself. It takes a lot of strength to face yourself on a hellish introspective acid trip-gone-wrong. It's definitely not something that I wanted to experience, but I've done it and in a way I'm glad that I have.
<br>
<br>
For anyone that's taken the time to read this, sorry for the meandering aspect of this account. I have a tendency to ramble a bit. On the whole I reckon it really was a positive experience and it's definitely not put me off trying acid again in the future. I'm not really sure what that says about me as a person, but once again I don't really care. I'm happy being who I am.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 29556</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 16, 2005</td><td>Views: 47,522</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=29556&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=29556&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">MDMA (3), Alcohol (61), Cannabis (1), Amphetamines (6), LSD (2) : Large Group (10+) (19), Post Trip Problems (8), Hangover / Days After (46), Nature / Outdoors (23), Bad Trips (6), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), General (1)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">50 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/smarts/tryptophan/">Tryptophan - 5-HTP</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Vitamins / Supplements</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">40 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/smarts/ginkgo/">Ginkgo biloba</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.25 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">rectal</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 3:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/poppy/">Poppies - Opium</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(tea)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">38 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dpt/">DPT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">113 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">rectal</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dpt/">DPT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">sublingual</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/clonazepam/">Pharms - Clonazepam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 12:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">9.0 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/smarts/melatonin/">Melatonin</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">120 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Ever since the year started, I had been in a very dark place emotionally. A lot has been happening that is out of my control and has been injecting a lot of negativity into my life. I therefore abstained from taking any psychedelics this month. I have been stabilizing this last week, but I was determined to make it to Jan. 31st without taking any psychedelics. Well, as it turns out, I had been working on a book for my Mediterranean Studies class, and I was going to read it again in order to make a few connections. You have to understand that this is not an ordinary story – I doubt the author wrote it while sober. In case you are interested, the book is <i>Quarantine</i> by Juan Goytisolo. I wanted to read it the second time under the influence of a psychedelic. But waiting for Jan. 31st would mean dangerously approaching the deadline without having anything written down. And so, I have decided, on Jan 29th (the day of this report), to take a tiny dose of LSD and read at least half of the book while under the influence.
<br>
<br>
The day started with dosing my (somewhat new) regular regimen: 50mg 5HTP, 500mg L-Phenylalanine, and a Multivitamin tablet. I also decided to take 40mg of Gingko for no reason at all. The idea was to experiment with LSD via rectal administration. I was originally blessed with a 10-tab sheet of <i>powerful</i> blotter. I had previously taken half a tab sublingually, and enjoy a beautiful trip, by no means light. My ONLY problem with this magical substance is that it last way too damn long – I found myself exhausted (both physically and mentally) at the end of this trip. I have encountered the same problem with 2C-E. And so, I took the remaining half of the aforementioned tab, and cut that in half, giving me a quarter of tab. I decided to aim low – just in case. I was not aiming for a full-blown LSD trip, I was aiming for a semi-psychedelic mindspace to aid me with the book, and also to see how rectal administration would alter the LSD experience.
<br>
<br>
And so I take the quarter rectally at around 12:30pm. Usually, if I have a psychedelic in powder form I would dissolve it in water and take it as a microenema. But this was a *tiny* piece of paper. After a lot of work, I managed to actually get it in. I noticed that the onset was actually immediate – right after I finished washing my hands I started to feel off-baseline. However, the climb to the peak was just as slow as with sublingual administration – it took a total of a bit more than an hour since ingestion for me to be fully immersed in it. As I waited for the climb, I decided to rid myself of all sexual energy by masturbation.
<br>
<br>
Wow. This quarter rectally is about as strong as half a tab sublingually! In fact, I was surprised. I found there is a lot of stimulation – I found myself walking around the house aimlessly. There was a bit of a body load, but I attribute that to all the emotional stress from the previous month. There were no visuals to write home about – which is similar to my previous trip with half a blotter. But my thoughts were rushing at an amazing speed. I also felt great. Just like last time, LSD seems to give a very nice mood lift – but one which does not prevent me from flushing out negative emotions and experience them fully. That is the beauty of LSD.
<br>
<br>
I was walking aimlessly with thoughts rushing, and I suddenly stood in my living room, closed my eyes, and vibrated, “IIIIIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOO”. My voice was fantastic – perfect, consistent vibration. I was drenched with beautiful coloured light, and my body felt energized and I even twitched a bit. I felt so spiritually charged. At this point I decided I was in a good mindset to take that divine sacrament… DPT. Hmm…
<br>
<br>
I also still had the novel on my mind. I decided that my current peak, DPT or not, was a bit too intense to allow for reflective reading. So I decided to do two things in one. I have always wondered how psychedelics and opiates mix, and thought that the opiates will calm me down for the latter part of the trip to allow me to focus on the novel. And so my plan was set!
<br>
<br>
I had a few decent-sized dried poppy pods lying around (for decoration, of course), and so I took seven of them, ground them up, and boiled in water and a bit of lemon juice. Strain, boil again, strain, boil again, strain. Now I have a glass of bitter honey-coloured nectar. Hey, why not. Lets add honey. And that was a great move – the honey made it taste actually pleasurable. Down goes the poppy tea. There is a lesson to be learned when drinking poppy tea. Even if I use a coffee filter, there will always be some sediment at the bottom of the cup. The tea can be downed smoothly, but if I happen to get some of the sediment in my throat, it’ll trigger a gag reflex. Gluttony, tsk tsk tsk. Just don’t drink all the way to the bottom. Leave that tiny bit of liquid and sediment for the sewer faeries to drink – its not like its going to make such a difference in the effects.
<br>
<br>
Now with the poppy tea down, I know it takes about 2 hours to even start to take effect, the plan was set: I take the DPT, have a huge peak along with the LSD peak, come down from the DPT just as the opium was peaking, and use the peacefulness of opiates with the mindspace of psychedelics to analyze my novel. So, I run and prepare myself a miniature mound of DPT. In all honesty, I actually have no idea how much it is, but I am sure it is more than 100mg and less than 200mg, judging from the total amount of sacrament that I originally had. It did not matter. I find that above 100mg, the trip is intense anyway and 50mg difference does not affect the trip much. The battle between nose and rectum ensues: should I snort it, or should I plug it? I decided on snorting it, then going for a shower and letting the vapour help my nose. For some reason, snorting it this time created a very violent reaction in my olfactory system – I just couldn’t go on. Perhaps my nose was too clear? I was able to insufflate only about a quarter of the total to be taken. So, I decided that I will take the rest rectally, and I did.
<br>
<br>
I then went into the shower anyway. I must note that by this time my conception of time was totally off. Adding the DPT certainly did not help. I actually have no idea how many hours had passed since I took the LSD, but if my memory is correct, my watch had the fat arrow at the 4pm position. As I “showered” (it was a big effort), I realized that my mind – the LSD peak – has actually calmed down! But I knew that I was still peaking on LSD since showering had become an art and a science. From my experience, high doses of DPT have an effect of “the calm before the storm.” I realized, as “time” passed on, that I was feeling a “gravity” pulling me upwards. Interesting. During the middle ages, certain types of Sufi mystics were referred to as “Mjdhub” (s/he who is pulled by (God’s) gravity). This was used to refer to some wandering mystics who were either actually psychotic, or had Hashish as part of their meals, or both. I find that interesting since DPT always creates a sense of God-intoxication in me, and that is why I consider it sacred.
<br>
<br>
Now I was in the shower being pulled upwards. I was beginning to feel the DPT vibrations and my visual field was starting to become not-so-normal. I decide it is time to step (float) out of the shower. I manage to dry myself and put on some clothes, and then lie on my bed just in time when the music starts and I am blown away into divinity.
<br>
<br>
Lets see what we have for music… two servings of Enigma and The Mars Volta, with a hint of Muse and a dash of Radiohead. Perfect. I do not remember much of what happens next. I was lost. My jaws were rattling at OM speed in the typical DPT manner. I remember looking at the ceiling, and then seeing it shatter into particles to reveal a white (sometimes with a purple hue) light that permeated through and dissolved me in it. So much light! This is too divine… I would then snap out of it and get lost again in something else. Music was distorted in the most beautiful alien way. It seems like I could “transfer” pieces of music from one part of the track to the other. I could also “stretch” certain parts. Not only did I die, but I had fun doing it, especially that now I was beginning to lie on a bed of poppies. The tea was starting to kick in.
<br>
<br>
I then walked around, basking in the DPT afterglow. I noticed that there were muffled voices coming out of my speakers. I have no idea if this was a hallucination, or if it was a strong radio wave being picked up by the speakers. I suspect it is the latter, even though it never happened before. I have noticed that my body starts creating some electromagnetic disturbances as a reaction to the DPT experience. Lights and animals behave funny around me, and sometimes I pick up other people’s thoughts and feelings. I called my friend and tried to make a conversation with him about the voices on my speakers (I was still hearing them). The conversation was very hard, and I kept laughing at myself. I told him I will talk to him later when I am more coherent. He said I sounded perfectly normal, but in my mind, I was not. For some reason, the phrase “La Voix des vents” got stuck in my mind. I do not know why. It sounds so beautiful when pronounced properly. I finally recognized it as the title of a painting by Rene Magritte. I have not thought of Magritte since my short-lived high school crush on surrealism… But I looked up the painting, and found it very expressive of my state of mind.
<br>
<br>
Another interesting thing happened shortly after. I had what I think was a sprained ankle for the past week. It was beginning to heal and I was feeling some numbness at the spot (but no pain). At this time, it seems like the psychedelics exaggerated the numbness whenever I felt it, and at one point I felt like my foot was becoming gangrenous or something. This alarmed me much – but I managed to get my mind out of it by soaking it in warm water and then going out for a walk. No, make that going out for a <i>float</i> on the pavement. It’s a good warning though: not to take psychedelics if one has a physical ailment, because it will be exaggerated if it takes some attention.
<br>
<br>
The transition from LSD to DPT and back was very smooth. The synergy is golden. My only problem was that the energy from the DPT descent (normally pleasant) mixed with LSD’s energy to create too much energy that was not allowing me to experience the poppies fully. And so I decided to solve the problem with 0.5mg of Clonazepam sublingually. It worked like a charm. Now I was in the exact mindset that I aimed for: Opiate serenity and psychedelic mind-expansion. I was also able to feel LSD’s presence despite the Opiates and the benzos, and I was also able to detect it leaving. I would say the LSD was fully gone at T+8 hours, with the peak easing up at ~T+5 hours. Perfect! with sublingual administration, LSD lasted more than 12 hours!
<br>
<br>
Of course, the other drugs I took with it might have very well affected its duration, and I will probably be experimenting with the same amount rectally in the future without combining it with anything else. However, I was very glad to have fulfilled all the goals I set for this day. I read half the novel, and made more connections than I would have by reading it 5 times over while sober. Suddenly, much of it made much more sense. By the way, I do recommend this novel for fellow psychedelics users. I stayed awake, covered in a warm poppy blanket until about 1am, when I took 9mg of Melatonin and slept very well to wake up refreshed and full of wonderful ideas for the essay I am going to write.<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 40264</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 19, 2005</td><td>Views: 26,606</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=40264&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=40264&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), DPT (21), Poppies - Opium (43) : Combinations (3), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">6 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">6.5 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(dried)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">75 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
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<!-- Start Body -->
This report is not an ordinary report, but a story about my life, what LSD and mushrooms did to me, and how they affected me and my life. Hope you'll enjoy.
<br>
<br>
Losing My Religion
<br>
I was born in the Middle East in a very religious family. I have followed Islam since I was a little kid, but suddenly I decided to quit the religion back when I was 17, even though it was a very big part of my life. I can’t really put words on what happened in my mind, I just felt myself as a slave for a God whose existence has never been proven to anyone.
<br>
<br>
My mother hired four imams (Muslim priests) just to make me change my mind and reconvert to Islam. She was afraid that I would make a big mess in my life and then regret it. That’s a very typical thought for a Muslim - for a Muslim there is no other reality than the reality which Islam gives you when you are being raised with the religion. Once you quit the religion your life will be complete nonsense, both in your own head and in the eyes of others.
<br>
<br>
My mother is a very religious woman and has a very personal relationship to Islam; therefore she just can’t understand my thoughts because she is isolated from the world’s reality by the reality of Islam. I still respect the religion even though I decided to quit it and denied all of its allegations and theories on God’s words and the human existence.
<br>
<br>
When I decided to quit the religion I realized that religion is an important thing in people’s lives. A religion is something that gives people hope and meaning. Your life won’t be meaningless any longer when you have joined a religion. It gives you answers on what is going to happen to you once you die, and at the same time it has a law that tells you how to act in the world if you want to be a part of heaven. It makes sense to many people, but it just didn’t make sense to me. To me it felt very absurd and ridiculous to know that if I didn’t follow the law of the religion, I actually was making my way directly to hell. I didn’t like the feeling that took over my body every time I did something wrong, which is stamped as reprehensible in the religion. I was always afraid because I knew that God was watching me and my actions 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I couldn’t have a private life; I couldn’t be completely alone in the world, and that annoyed me a lot.
<br>
<br>
I also realized that religion was a way to control a community in the same way as the government does today. 1400 years ago you couldn’t control a country in the same way as today, because no one possessed the authority and power to make people act exactly as you wanted them to. In this case religion was a very effective way to control people: One “God”, the creator of the universe, was watching all of us. He knew what we were doing, and he was going to judge all of us. The humans created an illusion of a powerful God, and the citizens believed in it. They believed that someone (e.g. Jesus, Mohammed, etc.) had talked to God, and that God told the person concerned that the people of the world had to follow a law. If they did so, they would get access to heaven - the most beautiful and peaceful place in the universe. Otherwise, they were going to be thrown into the warmest and most horrible place in the entire universe: Hell.
<br>
<br>
That frightened a huge part of the world, and people believed in it. Since then religions grew and got more powerful than ever before. They were very effective, and every single person in the world simply had to believe in it if he didn’t want to be killed and be judged by God when he died… which would be a horrible ever-lasting experience.
<br>
<br>
After I got these thoughts, I was suddenly able to see through the religious system. I told my mother and the imams about my thoughts, and they then told me that I was possessed by an evil spirit - by Satan himself. It was very hard for me not to believe in what they said to me, but I never gave up. They kept telling me that the worst thing I could do was to quit Islam, because that was something that God just didn’t want to see his own people do - that would make him judge me even harder than anyone else in the world. I was very afraid, and for about six months I was considering suicide, just to get away from the effective religious brain wash. But I couldn’t do that… I couldn’t get away from my fear of God, either while I was living or when I was dead. If I committed suicide I could be wrong and then meet God, who would torture me forever. I was forced to live and suffer because of my thoughts. There was absolutely nothing to do about it.
<br>
<br>
I had a friend who told me that magic mushrooms and acid (LSD) were drugs that were able to put me into a mystical and religious experience which could help me out with my thoughts. I read a lot about these drugs and tried them in small doses, just to sense the psychedelic world. Some months later I was thinking of consuming a huge dose of both drugs at once.
<br>
<br>
I consumed the huge doses. In the trip I met a good spirit and an evil spirit who talked to me about my life, my family and my religion. They killed me so my soul could be free and fly into the enormous universe. I died. My ego died. I got detached from my body and my senses. I was lying safely in my bed and couldn’t move, smell, see, hear or anything. My soul had left my ego and was set free. I didn’t know who I was or where I was. There was nothing called “me”, and I couldn’t stop the experience and say to myself that I had ingested big amounts of two very powerful psychedelic drugs. The experience was 100% real and was hard to deny.
<br>
<br>
The spirits took my soul with them into outer space where “I” (my soul) saw billions of stars. I also saw a circle that looked like a black crack in the universe. The spirits had taken my soul to the circle and wanted me to fly into it… they would stay outside and wait for me. And I did that.
<br>
<br>
In the circle I experienced an indescribable divinity, which you just can’t describe in words. All of a sudden, without being told by anyone, I knew that “God”, as we humans call him, wasn’t a judgmental God… “God” was pure energy. God was mystical divinity. God was the vitality of our lives and any living things among us. God was us. Nature was God, animals were Gods, Mother Earth was God, and the entire universe was God. It’s incredibly hard to explain, but this is what makes sense. This is what people had to understand in this world. But the divinity was removed from religions, where power and control are essentials; they are the motive power in Islam, Christianity and Judaism.
<br>
<br>
I gained clearness, and suddenly I could understand everything. I could understand and see how the religion affected me physically, and I could see the way out of this brainwash. After this experience, which lasted for about 2 hours, I got kicked out from the circle and back to the spirits. The spirits made some kind of a conclusion, and, before I ever noticed it, I was back into my own body again. I woke up, and I was still lying safely in my bed. The spirits disappeared and left me behind.
<br>
<br>
Today, after my amazing experience with the magic mushrooms and LSD, I have found myself. I don’t have to be addicted to a religion anymore and be in need for it just to get some meaning in my life and existence in this universe. Today, after the trip, my life makes much more sense than it did before, when Islam was an active part of my life.
<br>
<br>
In the end my mother gave up, and so did the imams. They told me that I was going to burn in hell forever and that I shall consider reconverting. I remained as strong as I was after my trip. Every time my religion and the imams annoyed me using the religion against me, I just led my thoughts in the lines of what the spirits told me. Every time I remembered that, the religion didn’t have any form of effect on me anymore.
<br>
<br>
The imams told my mother that I wanted freedom to do whatever I wanted to in this world without being punished by God. In the eyes of my mother and the priests, this was a totally wrong way to live out my life. But that was my decision, and no one could change it.
<br>
<br>
Today I believe in karma, in Gaia (Gaia = Mother Earth is “God”) and some kind of reincarnation. I believe that everything a person does has some kind of consequences. I also believe that Mother Earth and the other planets are the real Gods in this universe - they will judge everything that happens in the universe. This also means that I think there’s some kind of parallel universes to our universe - I don’t think we are alone at all.
<br>
<br>
And last but not least, after my experience with the psychedelics, I believe that our ego will be dissolved somehow when we die. That means that nobody can say “what will happen to me when I die”. There will not be any “me”, and therefore no one can be judged and punished - the punishment happens while alive. So I think that our soul, the “invisible” energy (invisible for humans, not animals and plants) that keeps us alive, will be mixed with other energies among us in this world. The energy can then be used for many things; for example to form a new soul to go into other living organisms in the universes.
<br>
<br>
This is what I believe in, and this is my own thoughts I have come to by dropping out of Islam and by getting such an amazing experience on psychedelics.
<br>
<br>
Remember that these dosages are not recommended to unexperienced users. This might be a too intense trip so please be careful.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2004</td><td width="90">ExpID: 38280</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 30, 2005</td><td>Views: 27,854</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=38280&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=38280&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Mushrooms (39) : Combinations (3), Retrospective / Summary (11), Glowing Experiences (4), Mystical Experiences (9), Multi-Day Experience (13), Unknown Context (20)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dpt/">DPT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/herbs/damiana/">Damiana</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(dried)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">83 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
16.04 microdot swallowed. I walk around park area just beside the town and stop at a sightseeing place, where I could see glimpses of large lake and lots of forest.
<br>
<br>
16.34 First hints of alertness noted. Some middle-aged couple came to the same spot to talk about their marriage and I decided to move further to nearby cliffs.
<br>
<br>
16.50 Acid begun to go up. Views from the cliffs were incredible. Clouds and the landscape with the big lake were gorgeous and seemed to fill the universe.
<br>
<br>
I walked to meet my friend a bit after. Acid was taking on very hard while walking. This onset was a bit difficult part, I almost became nauseous but luckily I hadn't eaten for over 5 hours, so it passed quickly. We walked back to that same cliff to see views and talk. We decided to go back to town. An elderly lady driving by with bicycle was one interesting example of acid hallucinations. When the lady was far away, she looked like a typical old grandma with white hair and lovely, round face. She got closer and turned into a kamikaze pilot roaring along the road. When she went by, she had turned into a witch with vertically stretched face and an evil grimace. Some car that raced by near us scared me good time. The whole city buzz was very distracting. City parks with bright yellow trees had never seemed so beautiful and mystical. When we entered one such park, I felt like suddenly entering into a yellow world that consisted of us, yellow leaves forming the ground and the giants of this land, yellow trees slowly swaying in the wind.
<br>
<br>
After a few minutes of walking in the labyrinth of central city, we arrived into a friend's place where were many people that I didn't know. Reggae music was playing loud and it quickly turned into an uncomfortable, restless feeling. Not much because of those unknown people but more due to the too chaotic music. Me and my friend went back outside to have a walk along a river. Ducks were swimming in the river. Their swimming became a fascinating event to watch. They had complex paths in their swimming but the paths seemed to make all the sense. After some insightful talk it was getting colder so we headed back inside. I tried to play Propeller Island's My Beautiful VCA (which is a recommended piece of art for anyone interested in new experiences while on acid), but the stereo system didn't have good enough 3d stereo image and it didn't really work that well as it did at home. Namlook was the musical choice for most of the evening after that. I went to sit between the loudspeakers and tried to concentrate on my psychedelic state. I did sink into my thoughts and music from time to time. I also socialized and talked with a few people every now and then.
<br>
<br>
That was an interesting experience, since I have not tripped with other people very often. Especially not with people that I didn't know. People came and went, I mostly sat there in the same place thinking how they all played social games that are so very common in all social settings. Later, after the trip, I wondered if these topics came from the book I was reading, Steven Pinker's 'How The Mind Works', which tells about evolutionary psychology.
<br>
<br>
t+5h I decided to deepen my state by smoking a slight hit of weed and hash oil. So I did, but it didn't bring enough results. I also realized I didn't have nearly any normal visuals, like breathing walls, patterns or liquid ceilings. This was rather surprising considering how strong this microdot was in other aspects.
<br>
<br>
t+5h30min I decided to take a hit of DPT. So I took too medium lungfuls of damiana soaked in DPT freebase and sat down to see what would happen. First I thought that nothing would happen. I was already given up hope that I could get deeper than that, when I realized I already was quite a lot deeper than some time ago. I awoke from my reveries and realized I had not been aware of the surrounding events for quite some time. I felt very relaxed.
<br>
<br>
Again DPT took an extremely soft start and the whole transition to the deeper state of mind had passed unnoticed. It was getting very difficult to keep up conversation with people. One experienced girl had in fact suggested the weed to get rid of surrounding noise so I could concentrate on my trip, but DPT had done that job pretty well. With great difficulties I answered questions that some people asked from time to time (after all, I was a new person in their circles so they wanted to know about my background and I tried to explain myself). Music had become a constant and important part of my subjective universe. I had received quite a bunch of energy before smoking weed and DPT. Some slow, controlled movements were a good way to get rid of that extra energy. But after weed and DPT hits I became relaxed and there was no extra energy anymore, or at least I didn't feel it in the nervousness of my limbs anymore. Now I noticed an interesting phenomenon. When I touched my fingertips together, my fingers begun to glow with dim turquoise light. With eyes closed I felt the touching as an energy flowing between my hands.
<br>
<br>
At some point (I had lost the track of time completely by now) I could see faint figures through my eyelids. They were formed by sounds, exactly as if I had faint powers of Daradevil (the cartoon hero). When I heard a sound, a faint image of the cause of that sound was formed in front of my closed eyelids. For example, when some people walked by, I could see faintly their feet when they walked. When I heard clashes I saw glimpses of the events that caused the sound. This interesting feature was not strong, but nevertheless, very interesting. One of the people said to me that I should close the curtains, but I couldn't say how she said it. I asked from her about it and she claimed she had never said anything. I couldn't say if she was telling the truth or if I had imagined the whole thing.
<br>
<br>
The most remarkable moment happened at the end of DPT session, when I was already coming back to acid baseline. I was lying on a mattress and stood up quickly. I have experienced a 'black-out' phenomenon when standing up too quickly from rest (propably has something to do with brains not getting enoug blood momentarily). I always feel a bit disoriented and for a few seconds have no recollection who am I or where am I. This same phenomenon happened just then. Amplified by acid, weed and DPT, it was simply miraculous event. For a moment I was floating in eternity, seeing things that I couldn't say what they were, where they were or who I was. This moment felt literally a very, very long time. Slowly I begun to recollect what those things were that I was seeing. A table, some mobile phones, empty beer bottles, window, etc. Slowly I also gained knowledge of who I was and where I was. After I had become back to earth, I felt more sober and clear than in all my life. This only lasted for a second or two before I fell back to acid state of mind. I was stunned. I felt like a newborn. I was dropped here from nowhere and given life.
<br>
<br>
Well, it was not quite so profound experience as I may make it sound like. It was more an astonishing few moments of blackout. Other people were going to bars and I decided it was time for me to go home. After short walk in parks looking at those mighty trees again I headed back home. Next morning I felt very refreshed, even though my daughter woke me up early. It had been a rewarding trip and life was good. Next time I'll skip the cannabis and take DPT directly.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 27574</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 12, 2005</td><td>Views: 9,692</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=27574&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=27574&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), DPT (21) : Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2.0 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(dried)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">inhaled</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/nitrous/">Nitrous Oxide</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(gas)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Note: I'm lazy today so I'm going to give a thumbnail sketch of most of the day so we can get to the GOOD parts
<br>
<br>
So, not so long ago I hosted one hell of a fun psychedelic party at some rich person's house who I was supposed to be house sitting.
<br>
<br>
I started off the day with 1.5 Alex Grey blotters. Nice. After a couple hours of peaking on the Alex Greys with a few close friends a bunch of kids showed up, all of whom had been heavily dosed on sugarcubes on the ride over. I don't know if these sugarcubes were LSD or DOB/DOI or what, but they appeared to be pretty heavily dosed. (I think it was 8 hits per sugarcube!)
<br>
<br>
Anyway once it got dark out everybody was pretty spun. Some people were shroomin, some were dosed, some were drinking heavily and blowing yayo off the skis that were hanging in the garage. I made a fire in the firepit and we got a bunch of lawn chairs and chilled around there, talking about random tripped out stuff and having a good time.
<br>
<br>
Then I noticed a car come up the driveway.... but I wasn't expecting any more guests this evening. Holy shit it's [name removed to protect identity]! How did he even find this place? Is that...... good lord that is a 50lb nitrous tank and now he is rolling it into the garage.
<br>
<br>
Of course nitrous tanks aren't free, but he said I could rent it from him and we'd work something out later. Pretty soon he had to go chill with his girlfriend and I was left in charge of the nitrous tank.
<br>
<br>
Now, being in charge of a nitrous tank is fun at first, because everyone gets to do mad nitrous. But, then it becomes a pain when I have to start cutting people off for the 3rd or 4th time in a row because I was only supposed to use like 1/4 of the tank and people were reeeeeeal slow to pitch in.
<br>
<br>
But whatever, I was in a good mood still tripping on the Alex Grey LSD. And plus I'd had a few balloons.
<br>
<br>
It was around this time, maybe 9:30pm, when we brewed the first of several large batches of mushroom tea. I took about 3 grams worth of mushroom tea for myself and sipped it over the course of about half an hour.
<br>
<br>
Now, I was worried the shrooms would either, 1) barely work because of tolerance built from LSD, or, 2) clash with the LSD and create some evil psychic creature.
<br>
<br>
What actually happened was that I transitioned from a nice LSD plateau to a beautiful +++ shroom trip. Well, that worked better than I expected! I, along with everyone at my awesome party, was having a fucking blast. Some kids were extremely spun on the very heavily dosed sugarcubes and I took it upon myself to make sure they weren't getting any bad vibes from some of my other friends who were drinking, doing coke, and talking trash.
<br>
<br>
Talking trash all in good fun, of course, but these particular friends of mine are practically immune to psychedelics and therefore don't understand how the workings of a heavily dosed mind.
<br>
<br>
The most heavily spun of all the partiers asked if he could borrow somebody's hat for a while... ...now, I know *exactly* what it's like to really want a hat while tripping. In fact, I have had one particularly heavy trip where a hat really turned the whole thing around to a great trip. Nobody else would give him their hat but I gladly offered up mine, telling him I know exactly how it feels to be in his shoes.
<br>
<br>
Ganja was smoked throughout the night.
<br>
<br>
At perhaps 3:30am we were all still sitting fireside, occasionally playing drums, harmonica, guitar, and just chillin. Even though the nitrous tank had been 'cut off' hours ago, there wasn't much I could do to stop one of my best friends (who, in his mind, was 'guarding the tank' for me) from busting out the occasional round of balloons for everyone in his black-out drunk + coked up condition. Plus he ate an 8th of dank mushrooms which he claimed didn't affect him (and they probably didn't, he really is immune to psychedelic drugs, it's really weird).
<br>
<br>
In case you could care less about my sweet party and are interested in descriptions of intense psychedelic experiences, start reading from here.
<br>
<br>
Anyway he brought a fat balloon up to me. And knowing it was going to be the last balloon of the night I raged that far past the point of metallic wah-wah-wah world. It was like all of a sudden all the LSD and mushrooms I'd eaten that day hit me all at once, but 100x stronger. I've never smoked 5-MeO-DMT but I imagine it might be something like that.
<br>
<br>
Since I had done several balloons earlier in the night, I have no idea how this occured:
<br>
<br>
I was staring at the fire the whole time, and the flame became three dimensional and made of patterns. The rest of my vision went totally white. At first I thought, shit, I am gonna pass out, but I didn't. Instead the white part of my vision surrounding the 3-D rotating flame turned into bright red/yellow/orange extremely detailed patterns which took up my entire vision. I could see nothing else.
<br>
<br>
During this period I was fairly lucid, although I couldn't have spoken a word if I needed to. I could hear echoes in the distance which were clearly the people around me talking. Fortunately none of them were trying to talk to me during this period.
<br>
<br>
Slowly, the extremely vivid, full vision psychedelic patterning faded as outlines of the people sitting around me began to form. After another couple minutes my vision was back to normal and as soon as I felt confident enough to speak without spewing out complete nonsense I told everyone what I just experienced. They all seemed to think that was pretty damn intense although since they'd all been tripping and doing nitrous too they'd all had some pretty crazy experiences themselves.
<br>
<br>
Then I realized I still had 2/3 of the balloon left in my hand. So I went right back into nitrous space. This time, perhaps because I dilulted the balloon a little with my exhales, it was a little less intense, but still completely dissociative and like peaking on 7 grams of mushrooms at the same time.
<br>
<br>
After that whippit I decided I'd had enough drugs for the night. There was no way I could get any higher than that, so why try. In fact, I'll be impressed if I ever get that high again, ever.
<br>
<br>
So we rolled up a couple spliffs and passed them around.
<br>
<br>
By this point we were all extremely relaxed from having a long day of tripping and doing nitrous. The sun was starting to come up so I ate a couple milligrams of clonazepam, instructed people who were still pretty spun to watch over the fire until it burned out, and passed out like a champ.
<br>
<br>
.....
<br>
<br>
The moral of the story is, I throw the best parties ever.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 46863</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 4, 2005</td><td>Views: 18,034</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=46863&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=46863&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Mushrooms (39), Nitrous Oxide (40) : Combinations (3), Glowing Experiences (4), Large Group (10+) (19)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">200 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/ketamine/">Ketamine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">145 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I arrived home at about 12:15pm, I had dropped 4 hits of acid about 2 hours previous, and I was just beginning to peak. A little disoriented from the buzzing inside my head, I began to prepare for what I knew would be an intense night. I shut off all sources of light and noise from my room, blocked out the windows, pushed blankets under the door. I waited for about 7 minutes, enjoying the visuals until I was sure my eyes had adjusted and the room was completely black. I felt my way over to my desk and used a glowstick to find the line of K I had cut when I arrived home. I snorted the whole line through one nostril, stuffed the glowstick in a drawer and grabbed my CD Player/Headphones and jumped into bed. A mix CD of all my favorite Infected Mushroom tracks would provide the landscape for the night.
<br>
<br>
Halfway into the first track, I felt the chemical drip from the K, although it didn't seem quite as unpleasant as usual. I felt my bed tilt backwards, until I slipped and fell out of my own body, swirling around myself, then floating out, landing 3-4 inches above myself. My first thought was I had died. My second was Don't Panic. God bless Douglas Adams (Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy). Maybe I was dead, but that was no reason for concern. So instead I relaxed and waited for what was to come. My mind drifted back towards the music, which seemed to keep me anchored to the physical world. Every sound seemed a separate organism, I tried to examine each one as it went past, when my brain flipped around, offering me a new view, and I saw the music as a landscape stretched out as far as I could see, split along angles I didn't know exsisted. It was perfectly flat, yet was wrapped around me in the shape of rising and falling mountains, like a massive three dimensional oscilliscope.
<br>
<br>
Just as I was getting used to this new view, something I hadn't thought about before the trip occured. The track ended. Because of the way my CD burner works, there is at least 4 seconds between tracks, and those 4 seconds seemed to last for eternity. All of a sudden I was alone. I had no sensory input (I couldn't feel anything). I was nothing. I didn't exist. I was just a disembodied mind. I panicked. I had never been so lost in my life. I tried to get out of the bed but I couldn't move. Invisible points of space began to move towards me, I could see or hear or feel them, but I knew they were there. The next track began. Something happy. The invisible points were torn away and again my vision was full of light and landscape. The next track break wasn't anywhere near as bad, just alot of thinking. Half broken thoughts of disjointed ideas about nothing. This continued until the end of the CD, about an hour later. By this point the peak was nearly over and I found I could move again, I got out of bed and stood shakily in my room. I tried to walk and I collapsed.
<br>
<br>
I crawled to the corner of my room and found the lightswitch, I turned it on and stared at the most disfigured, twisted mockery of the physical world I have ever seen. The best I can describe it as, was extreme double vision, reflected away from itself then remerged. Nothing looked real. I ran into my bathroom, bumping into walls and doors along the way. The biggest mistake of my life. I caught a glimpse in the mirror of my face, distorted and fractured, eyeballs bulging out, melting. I nearly screamed. I went straight back into my room. I turned off the lights, took 4 caps of Kava and crawled into my bed. I couldn't get the CD player to work again. I tossed and turned for the rest of the night, speaking occasionally at nothing with words that meant nothing, and were cut off half way through. Eventually the Kava relaxed me enough to sleep, I do not remember any dreams I had, although I'm sure I dremt.
<br>
<br>
A powerful combination, it can be frightening. Next time I will plan it out a lot more. I wouldnt say it was a bad trip, just not the most pleasant.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2002</td><td width="90">ExpID: 13957</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 10, 2005</td><td>Views: 8,746</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=13957&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=13957&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Ketamine (31) : Music Discussion (22), Combinations (3), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">IV</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/heroin/">Heroin</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/cocaine/">Cocaine</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/tobacco/">Tobacco - Cigarettes</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">160 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
'Addictive personality' is how the patronising walrus of a counsellor described me in her report forms earlier today. I felt ready to gouge her eyes out with the plastic coffee stirrer I had at hand for using such a generalisation. An arrogant term coming from a woman who completely looked through my character and the actual facts to a textbook reference she'd committed to memory when her vapid brain had decided that it needed another buzz word. I left the clinic feeling dejected and miserable. As if I'd had an insult branded to my scrotum.
<br>
<br>
But, just to take a look at myself objectively, I think now that it's absolutely true. I become bored and destructive when I'm in my default consciousness, and strive to fill my days with at least one type of inebriation. But, as with information, facts or anything else the brain can assimilate, addiction is a learning curve, which, when it abruptly stops, lingers in the brain's and body's chemistry and composition but eventually fades, given the right circumstances.
<br>
<br>
Soooooooooo... This is another one of those stories about (drum roll, please) 'The Downward Spiral'. But underlying this, I think, is an important and valuable lesson, which gave me the motivation to write this: Even though addictive drugs (narcotics, stimulants, some psychedelics, etc.) can be an absolute bane to somebody's life, one can't just escape that addiction by taking a few trips from psychedelic drugs. This misapprehension took me from a slow, attenuating spiral to a perpetual corkscrew, before I plunged into a demijohn of insanity. Let's start over:
<br>
<br>
Back in 1999, I was a fresh-faced idealistic sixth former [equivalent to high school student] - clean and prepared to take my future to whatever soaring heights this education could attain. That is until I stepped into the teacher's toilets one day.
<br>
Two girls were slumped over one another in the cubicle, one was bleeding pretty heavily from her left arm and the other was just... staring. Four irises constricted to just leave pinprick pupils and bloodshot whites. Now I wasn't exactly ignorant about these things - I'd been to scads of parties and seen the effects of many drugs on people reckless or foolish enough to snort, swallow, shoot or take suppositories, and the bleeding arm gave away that last little telltale detail (I'd later learn to love that vinegar/chemical smell that lingers on one's clothes and hair). The Big Bad Horse had been released from its hypodermic stable and was now walloping a couple of kids' brains with its hepatitis hooves.
<br>
<br>
'What the hell do I do about this?' was my first impression.
<br>
<br>
I walked over and gave the non-bleeding girl a gentle slap on the cheek. She just rolled her head over and continued to stare blankly for a second before the facts hit home (another phenomenon I came to love) and her face whitened with shock. I'd known this girl for a couple of years, casually, and had pretty good reason to surmise that she really didn't give a shit about her education. The police, on the other hand, would have evacuated her bowels pretty quickly, despite the constipation. That meant she had at least a couple of wads on her. I rubbed my hands together as I prepared to be an absolute bastard to her.
<br>
<br>
'This is a pretty sticky situation, isn't it Rachel?' (names are changed, obviously);
<br>
'What?'
<br>
'Rachel the Rogue, having taken naive, impressionable Sarah in her sidecar to the test dummy site. Perhaps the old chromatograph will take your side at the test lab.'
<br>
'Don't tell anyone. Oh God...'
<br>
Sarah was now stirring a bit, but she just slumped right back over, shivering every once in a while.
<br>
'If I can't tell anyone, I'll have to blackmail you.'
<br>
(In case you hadn't noticed, dear reader, I was a bastard back then.)
<br>
'Whaddaya want?' How eloquent of her.
<br>
'I'm not asking for any high price. Let me think for a second...'
<br>
I'd wanted to try at least something for quite a while, but it never occurred to me that a hookup would just jump from the briny blue.
<br>
'You got any on you? Now, I mean.'
<br>
'I got one but I wanna keep it.'
<br>
<br>
'That's fine, fine. I'm a smoker, I know all about the misery of addiction. That's why I'm only asking for half of it. Just a taste.'
<br>
'Okay.'
<br>
I took Rachel and Sarah to a more secure, lavishly furnished broom cupboard across the site where we could sit with our thumbs up our arses until the cows came home. She cooked and shot her wad with some juice from a Jif lemon I'd recently stolen from the home economics kitchens before offering me the needle.
<br>
'I'm not sticking that into me. Got a clean one, or do I have to get one of those from the home ec labs as well?'
<br>
'My bag's back in the toilets.' Susan was still fucked out of her eyeballs, but she was starting to wonder how the hell she had travelled across the site in her dreary opiate-induced state. I told her to go back to sleep (which she didn't) and ran back to the toilets.
<br>
<br>
Long story short, here, as I'm rambling a bit, I took my first shot that day, and returned to my physics class bleary-eyed and, well (to use a charming expression) fucked. I felt completely amazing: I still had my steadiness and coordination, I could still think with the logic and accuity needed for the class, but I also felt completely carefree, unrestrained, slightly drowsy and completely at peace. I itched like fuck, and there were vomit stains on my tie from the regurgitation session I'd enjoyed in the broom closet shortly before leaving those two lovely lasses in peace, but... oh wow. Instant nihilism in a syringe, with very few of the absurdities that Nietzsche overlooked in his more insane days. And best of all, I thought I could still continue with my classes in this way, and, to an extent, I did. I kept my shooting strictly to lunchtimes. And breaktimes. And after school. Oh, and (still strict here) every once in a while, before shool.
<br>
<br>
Heroin, however, became number one on my 'most boring things one can do to one's veins' list (although I'd minimised other people's recognition of the track-marks by using an intravenous catheter and taping the syringe's barrel to my arm. I'd keep it taped / strapped there permanently and simply replace the hypodermic needles when the need arose. I'd obtained a wheel filter and fresh points from the needle bank, no problemo. It also made loading &amp; shooting the syring a hell of a lot easier, and, after adding a pipette-end to my syringe assembly, the injection rate was perfect. The bionic junkie. It also ensured that I'd only ever use my own syringe.)
<br>
Anyway, exit junk, pursued by a bear.
<br>
<br>
I was feeling low. Very low and strung out from withdrawal. I'd just about given up school (a temporary hiatus, I'd told myself, until the postman informed me that I'd flopped.) and sat around at home, drinking, smoking dope and wanking until my dick was sore. I needed uplifting. When, of all cosmic coincidences, whose path of fate should bissect mine but dear Rachel's, avec the world's favourite brain tonic - Mr. Coke himself. The other big cheese I'd been meaning to wrestle with for quite awhile (internet access is a wonderful thing - page upon page of useful druggy information). I was apprehensive after my little heroin debacle, but that all just seemed to disappear once the coke hit my nasal mucosa. Now this was cool. I felt dynamic, energetic, witty and sophisticated. I got my shit together and jittered like a jackhammer over to the old school house, appealed to the head of the science department and the head of the sixth form for reinstatement, on the grounds of depression.
<br>
<br>
So after I'd re-entered 6F, I managed to cram and cram and cram nonstop with charlie's aid, achieving exemplory results. The only repercussions being crashes, nosebleeds, heart palpitations, uncontrollable ataxia (shakes) and a 2000 cigarettes a day habit. No bother. The old ticker would be put to good use when it exploded from my chest cavity, as power for the entire city of London. I was just like schroedinger's cat - alive, dead, escaped from the box, and mutated into a horned incubus simultaneously. What a blast.
<br>
<br>
But, shock and horror. It stopped working. I'd used amphetamines before and as an alternative, they offered very little aside from empty, engine-driven stimulation. I needed to dry out, but I couldn't deal with all the crap that detox entailed. A different measure was in order. So, now our chalky friend disappears into the soul's heavy winds of memory. All for the best, really. My nose felt as if it had psoriasis treated with a fibreglass poultice, and my bowels were ready to evacuate themselves through my mouth and strangle me. So who else should enter, stage right, then our little pixie friend Rachel, with fifty blotters of recent acquiesence stuffed down her bra, and a playful grin embellished upon her face.
<br>
<br>
Blotters WERE the answer. They completely offset the withdrawal and posed existential questions that I'd never asked to myself before. I went on a blotter-fuelled tour of the realms of perception, Manson family style (except without the homicides). I began to believe that I was the golden child. No problems that I couldn't deal with, a religious guru in the church of extra-dimensional resonance, and that I could skip from dimension to dimension at will. This continued for five or six weeks, frying on five or six blotters as soon as any hint of a comedown. I was a self-created sollipsism, a God of my own universe. All I had to do was provide the matter, define the constants and watch as the visions proliferated. A complex delusion, but a delusion nonetheless. But the absurdity of that was easy to see when sober, it just merely returned when tripping. There was a delusion of the bigger picture as well: That I was fine and happy with the way my life was going.
<br>
<br>
The truth was, that I was absolutely miserable. I felt dysphoric whenever sober, I was broke and almost dying from anorexia. My sense of touch become a game of distingushing the jelly that composed the table and the jelly that composed the walls. Call it nuts, perhaps you could call it HPPD or peripheral / central nervous system damage from all the drugs I'd been taking, but the bottom line was that it was really shitty. With every consecutive trip I took, I became more and more despondent, more withdrawn from the outside world. I didn't like the crowd I hung around with, they were shallow and lived their lives for taking drugs, talking drugs, buying drugs and pushing drugs, and they loved the image that came with it all. I'd reached terminal velocity and hit the ground with a mighty whallop, before being mopped up by the professionals and reposited into a counselling session. In other words, I'd taken 10-12 heavily loaded blotters and enjoyed a schizophrenic outbreak in a town centre.
<br>
<br>
Whilst still tripping, I recounted the above story to her and absorbed her condescending word as if it were the grand unified theory. There's more in store, and I'm absolutely miserable about it. I've now been unemployed, anorexic and delusional for eighteen months and my body and brain have seen better days, let me assure you. I suppose optimism is called for, but right now, counselling provides all the homogenised optimism I could ask for.
<br>
<br>
So let me conclude this saga by getting back to my main point (this isn't just an observation in myself: I've read about, and witnessed people having the most profoundly stupid revelations while tripping, only to find in dismay that, despite their memories being shot to shit, they still remember) and that is:
<br>
Psychedelics DO (a lot of the time, anyway) seem to amplify any emotional response one has to a thought or idea, especially if it seemingly affects the whole outlook on life. I guess the fact of the matter is that I should take these profundities with a pinch of salt. Psychedelics may be fun, and I probably will take them again in the future, even after all this nonsense, but reality, whether it sucks or not, is still the only viable permanent solution outside the looney-bin.
<br>
<br>
If you've read this far through my pontification, I really do congratulate you, and hope that this message can prevent at least one person making an unequivocably stupid mistake. That'd make me happy, I think. Even though this is an anonymous report, I'd like to thank the people to whom I'll show this report if it's published. Thanks for supporting me, and enduring my undeniable selfishness through all this.
<br>
<br>
Over and out.
<br>
The tin of cranberries.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 21305</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 13, 2005</td><td>Views: 34,402</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=21305&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=21305&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Heroin (27), Cocaine (13), LSD (2) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Various (28)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">100 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/sertraline/">Pharms - Sertraline</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">170 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I experimented recently with SSRIs and psychedelics by undergoing a one month treatment of sertaline and trying different psychedelics at that time. I was curious as to see what the effects would be because I know that psychedelics (especially mushrooms) cause a rush of seratonin to the brain. My hypothesis was that the SSRI would lengthen or intensify a trip by inhibiting the reuptake of the released serotonin. I submitted a trip report for <a href="http://www.erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=48586">my SSRI/ P.cubensis trip</a> and I will note here that my trip was shorter but much more intense (especially the body high) than any experience I had without the SSRI.
<br>
<br>
The acid I got was from a friend. I was skeptical at first because it had seemed like ages since there was any good acid going around. However, he said he took two of these plain white blotters and tripped for over twelve hours. I had taken acid once (well more than once, but only once was it enough to have a noticable effect) in Spain and enjoyed it quite a bit. I had strong enough of a trip to get good OEV and could finally understand what my friends were talking about when they tried to explain how the visuals on LSD and shrooms are different. Anyway, I took the two blotters late at night. I had been drinking. I actually was planning on saving them for later, but when I have drugs laying around, I usually take them. So I had been drinking all night with my friends and I bust out the 8 blotters and suggest we do acid. Some of my friends were skeptical so they decided to only take one, while I took two, knowing that my friend had tried this same batch and said that two was a good trip. None of my friends had tripped before and the subtlety with which acid comes on caused one of my friends to eat a couple of grams of shrooms about an hour after taking the acid because he was convinced that it wasnt going to work.
<br>
<br>
However, at about 3 or 4 hours we were all peaking and we all knew something was up. I was listening to the beatles, yellow submarine and some doors watching visualizations on my computer. I kept waiting for the intense and great visual I expected from acid but they never came. I had very little visuals. At one point however we were watching a movie with Julia Roberts and I started ranting about how she was not that hot. Suddenly it flashes a close up of her big ugly face and I shot back out of my chair and fell to the ground in disgust, it was really funny and right then I knew I was on drugs, but I just wasnt getting any visuals (which are my favorite part of psychedelics). After the peak I couldn't sleep for a while and was a little dissapointed. I had been assured by an experienced tripper that 2 blotters would send me to another world. He laughed when I suggested I might do 3.
<br>
<br>
My conclusion is that the SSRI definately deflated the acid trip. It was fun and I felt the effects of the LSD but there was simply no visuals, no synesthesia or anything that I was expecting from this 'godfather' of psychedelics. I'm going to try to find some more now that I've been off the SSRI for over six months.
<br>
<br>
SSRI + LSD - subdued trip
<br>
SSRI + Shrooms - Shorter but more intense trip
<br>
<br>
These are my own personal conclusions and are by no means theories of the interactions between these drugs. There are obviously many other 'Z' factors that could have contributed my experiences. Hope people find this useful.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 48587</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Feb 9, 2006</td><td>Views: 7,901</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=48587&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=48587&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:20</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 5:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 bowl</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Well, where to begin.
<br>
<br>
I've taken LSD about 6 or 7 times in my life. So far, each trip has been very positive, and I've approached each trip (or rather, the proposition of partaking in each individual one) with a strait-minded care and attention paid to set and setting. But at this point, I've gotten so comfortable with the drug that the 'setting' aspect has become a little more flexible, and I find at times that I would feel more than comfortable (to say the least) to socialize, and talk to people.
<br>
<br>
Anyway, this particular night was unlike any trip I had ever experienced. It started off with me taking the last two hits of something I had left over from a new dealer, mixed with a third hit of some extremely unique LSD (and I have since concluded it could have not been unique in any way other than it simply being of a higher potency and nothing more). Let me take a moment to describe its “uniqueness”.
<br>
<br>
This third hit of LSD was taken from a batch that I had once sampled a couple months ago (bought this from a different friend). The last time I took the stuff he had from that same particular ‘batch’ (of which this was of the same 'clippings' [so to speak]), it was much more different. When I had taken two hits of this same stuff last time around, I reached peak visual experiences within a half hour, maybe 20 minutes. It was one of the quickest onsets I had ever experienced and the visuals were very strong (by comparison, I will now add was a result of prior experiences being the result of a slightly diluted dosage from other separate batches. Just like when you hear stories about gas stations dumping water in their tanks to sell more for less). It didn't start off quite right, however, as I had eaten some bad food (perhaps bad food, perhaps bad judgment of eating too much bad food before taking the drug). I vomited, and managed to get about 80% to its proper destination. The rest was on my arm/bathroom toilet.
<br>
<br>
Now, you can imagine that when you're under the influence of a drug like this that you sure as hell wouldn't be happy about throwing up allover yourself. But after asking my girlfriend (who has never taken the drug, she doesn't even smoke pot) to light some incense, and me taking a quick shower (which I was forced to think of as a 'birthing'-like ritual into whatever was waiting for me around the corner of the night) I soon made it back to my bed room. I was lying in bed with her, felt calm,…soon then energized, excited, animated, and in a mood talk talk talk.
<br>
<br>
Talk about what? Well, reality, using politics and daily routine/habits as a springboard for observation.
<br>
<br>
Anyway, I had a blast the rest of that night, and lost all of whatever audio of it I had recorded into my computer by accident, but so what.
<br>
<br>
So, back to what happened to me last night. To what I had never experienced before in my life on LSD that I did for the first time.
<br>
<br>
I started at about 10 p.m., dropping the two hits I had first, and then added the third one about 20 minutes later. And for about 5 hours after that, everything was very normal (in terms of a trip that consists of some overlay visuals and nothing more…with respect to a young-boyish sense of humor as always). But something profound happened towards the end (5 + hours AFTER I had first taken the drug) when I smoked a bowl of cannabis with my sister. About 5 minutes after I started smoking it, my body, almost suddenly, fell like it was being very-mildly electrocuted. But not exactly in the way that would make your arms go flailing around or something nutty like this. It was uncomfortable, at first, but that was simply because I was not familiar with it in the past, and I bordered on having a minor bad trip, as a result of trying to trick myself into thinking that there were long term side effects that would be with me for the rest of my life because of this awkward sensation (which the only thing I had ever read close to something like that could be thought of as, not LSD gripping a person for the rest of their days, but rather, post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of a 12 or so hour long ordeal of such an alien feeling).
<br>
<br>
I should also say that at the same time my body felt electrified, the visuals became profound on a whole new level. My dogs face took on a slight degree of human-ness to it, especially around his eyes. His whole face look very vibrant...almost mystically royal looking, if you could imagine a mut dog like mine looking like the Fire Fox icon on my desktop (the super high-resolution version of it, which you’ll be able to enjoy in an new Operating System, soon to arrive in a store near you…P.S….these newer operating systems are beginning to look more “real”, or potentially psychedelic…Anyway). I started to stare at my arm, and the next thing you know, my body looks like something Alex Grey would have painted on himself if he could wear it or bear the ability to have it tattooed.
<br>
<br>
I went to lie down with my already asleep girlfriend (in a partial attempt to sooth my nerves and relax, while I worked to understand what was going on inside my head. My jaw, for example, felt like it was sliding sideways without friction or drag or real ‘collision’ (physical, that is). My chin felt like it slid off my face, and then back into place from the other side. That didn't happen for more than a couple minutes.
<br>
<br>
Slivers of light from outside my bedroom would appear to have a lot of smoke passing through the light beams into the room, but when I asked if I were seeing what I was actually seeing, I would get this 'Nope, it's just you (no beams of shimmering light)'.
<br>
<br>
For about 30 seconds, at one point, my sense of touch was totally confused. I couldn't tell if my arm was extended away from me across the bed, or bent at the elbow towards me, but around my girlfriend sleeping next to me. And on one occasion, I followed a reflection of light bounced off my wall (it made my wall look like a mirror, for a moment, but only because the lights were off, and it was dim. Lots of room for visual play, in other words, and the size of the room felt different).
<br>
<br>
Now, the whole time into this, I said to myself, 'Oh my god (you know). I took too much!' So, you know, most of the night was me working out the following logic:
<br>
<br>
1. The effects of this substance will wear off (other than psychology, which is not necessarily something that's related to chemical intake, but rather, to mental (logical) stimuli).
<br>
<br>
2. Looking at a painting like something of Alex Grey's flavor, makes me go, 'Hmmm, he had to of 'fried' his noggin.'
<br>
<br>
Well, I would say that for a very brief moment of his life, he was actually “fried”, and the rest of it was him trying to remember and understand the 'fried' reality he was given, via visualization and activist/naturalist overlay hallucinations.
<br>
<br>
The bottom line is the drug itself, to me, has provided me with a positive experience each and every time. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I choose the times I take the drug, and places I take it, very very carefully. For example, who the hell would want to be in a bar full of drunken bigots? While on Acid! Ha ha, well, if you have the time it takes to think about how you could turn that into a fun kind of experiment, well...knock yourself out. I, on the other hand, will remain at home while on the substance, and enjoy the many east-Indian and Celtic tapestries I have on my walls to keep my eyes preoccupied will my mind drifts into the realm of true problem solving, based on a curious internal drive to learn more, and not take the easy routes out of a problem via habit or laziness.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2006</td><td width="90">ExpID: 50164</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Mar 8, 2006</td><td>Views: 7,985</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=50164&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=50164&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">170 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
My previous experiences include marijuana (was once very aquainted with its effects, but grew out of a desire for it), OxyContin (had two very very pleasant experiences), Psilosybin Mushrooms (had taken it three times, low doses) and one hit of LSD about 3 weeks before this night. The most intense experience was with marijuana, I had felt and seen things that I had not on anything else. I was disappointed with LSD and wanted to give it a better chance this night.
<br>
<br>
I should not have taken it that night. My mind was worried even before I took it and I was not in the mood to really just enjoy it like I would normally be in. That alone I believe ruined my night. I had two friends with me, one was taking one hit, and the other was taking none but acting as a supervisor for the night. I wrote him a note that said some weird stuff on it that he was supposed to give to me if I had gone completely sideways. I ended up accidently leaving by my computer where anyone in my family could find it. (when i remembered that is when the night went downhill) It started out great! we went hiking as it began to peak around 8, an hour before the sunset. It was GORGEOUS! the orange/blue sky wish the leaves above us and a flowing stream below us, I loved it. As the sun was setting we came across a field of waist high grass. We stood on the edge of it and it was as if we were looking out onto an infinite field of this gorgeous grass that was shimmering as the sun set in from of us. I had headphones on at the time listening to Brian Eno - An Ending, to me the most beautiful song I have ever heard, then we ran along side the field. In those seemingly 45 minutes I was sooooo happy and at peace it was incredible.
<br>
<br>
Then I sat down in an opening in the trees, with woods all around, and stared into the sky as its evening blue was giving away to a darker night sky. That was the most peaceful I had ever felt, I had forgotten about the LSD and I was in my own little world of peace. The kind of feelings I can only imagine while sitting on the computer writing poems and such. From here the night went completely backwards. I remembered I had taken LSD, and I remembered I left the note by the computer and I went straight back to my worrying state of mind I was in before we arrived at the park. This feeling started when we left. I did not like being in my own world then. My friends did not understand me. I deeply was feeling confused and scared but they did not understand that, they made more jokes. When we were thinking of places to check out I mentioned the highschool football field so we could listen to music and look and the stars without any trees around us, but instead they went to Kmart to meet my sober friend's friend. This was the worst part of all. They parked in front of a blue light special sign, and went inside, leaving me in the car. I told them I wanted to stay in the car but I meant I didn't want them to just leave me in there.
<br>
<br>
The LSD was at full blast and I was sitting in a Kmart parking lot. It felt like to me that car was shaking and the blue light special sign had blue and red lights flashing over it. I saw mothers coming out pulling along their kids, yelling at them, generally being mean towards them... I hated it. For some reason I kept seeing smoke coming from somewhere and lights coming from under my seat in the car. I felt horribly scared and confused but to my surprise it actually went by quickly. When they got back they still did not want to go to the football field. This really confused me, the day before we had agreed to go there to watch the stars, but now they had no interest at all in doing that. Instead they went to a cemetery, which actually helped calm me more than expected but not what I wanted to do at ALL. Again it seemed as if they were ignoring my opinions.
<br>
<br>
Eventually what I wanted as we were leaving was the drug to be gone. I had grown out of it in a sense. I had not had a completely enjoyable trip from anything in a long time because I had always wanted to come back to baseline, back to reality. To my suprise my friends said they thought I was acting pretty normal except when we got into conversations and some things I was saying were making no sense at all. They also said that when they came out of Kmart I looked the most scared and white that I have ever looked. We headed back to my friends house and popped in the Wall. I wouldn't say I enjoyed it because I really was still feeling empty and lost and I needed a caring friend more than an artistic movie.
<br>
<br>
The rest of the night involved us sitting in his room talkin about so much stuff, like life and death and why would someone commit a horrible crime like rape, and generally things that I did not want to talk about. I still felt as if no one was listening to me. I was calm but still felt alone and empty since no one would listen or be friendly at all. I was getting bad vibes all around from those two, except when we weren't talking about stuff or tryin to make decisions.
<br>
<br>
The highlights of the night were when we were driving down a road with the star wars theme playing, when we were outside, when we were staring into my friends mirror looking at slashes of water on the surface, and thats about it.
<br>
<br>
The only things I would want someone to know is that if anyone is having this intense of a problem the best thing you can do is listen and don't be critical. Especially don't be critical because it confuses the person and makes them feel like you don't understand them. Know the people you're doing it with. Know them so well and trust them. I messed up bad that night because my mind was already confused and lonely and I was stressed out, thinking that maybe this will help. It was not the case at all, if I am not already at a peace and in a comfortable spot in my mind I should not think about taking any drugs.
<br>
<br>
A timeline of the night would include-
<br>
<br>
7 PM - take the LSD in the car on the way to park
<br>
<br>
8:15 PM - reached a definite plateau in effects
<br>
<br>
9 PM - done hiking, still plateauing leave to drive around (tons of fun to sit in passanger seat and see everything go by while I listen to music)
<br>
<br>
10 PM - Kmart experience
<br>
<br>
10:30 PM - Leaving Kmart, more driving
<br>
<br>
10:45 PM - Cemetery, driving around slowly while sitting on top of car and looking at stars, still plateauing
<br>
<br>
11 PM - Back to friends house
<br>
<br>
11:30 PM -In with the Wall, still plateauing
<br>
<br>
1:00 AM till 7 AM - Hanging around friend's room, talking, music, just tryin to relax still plateauing until about 6 when effects decrease immensly, but still linger. I would like to add that for the next 12 or so hours I felt sick to my stomach and I had a bitter taste in my mouth
<br>
<br>
9 AM - Home took a shower, feeling very weird still with no sleep.
<br>
<br>
12 PM - Still out there. The world felt different,if I was not feeling so empty and some what scared and lonely it might have been really enjoyable
<br>
<br>
3 PM - went to a movie with mom and sister, I was feeling lonely and I needed someone to hang out with that I would not get bad vibes from. I didnt get bad vibes but I just didn't connect, still feeling out of whack and messed up a lil
<br>
<br>
7 PM - went to my cousins and watched terminator, my mind was still not completely straight, but I'm sure no one else noticed, at least very much
<br>
<br>
12 PM - came home and went to sleep, my mind did not completely get straight until about 72 hours after ingestion. The bad taste and upset stomach left when I fell asleep.
<br>
<br>
Thinking about that night still gives me a slight bitter taste and an upset stomach but I realized that it was very helpful to me. I had grown away from drugs and those friends. LSD truly touched something deep, and forced me to see something that I would describe as deeply true to onesself, but also it showed me that it was something I didn't need drugs to find. It's sort of ironic because I had always thought LSD would show me something no other drug could, and that's what lured me into wanting to try it sooo bad, but in the end it showed me that drugs are not needed. I actually genuinely would be happy not doing psychedelics again, Ive never felt this way, but I feel soo free!!! hope I helped someone
<br>
<br>
peace :)<!-- End Body -->
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<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 25008</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 6, 2006</td><td>Views: 6,316</td></tr>
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
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<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 tablet</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This might take a while to tell, but if you bare with me I guarantee a wild story
<br>
<br>
My buddy Shaggy and I were on our way to kick the summer off right. Without any advance planning, and with little in the way of preparation, we decided to go to a music festival featuring a dozen or so hippie-type jam bands. I can’t be any more specific because what’s written in this report could probably count as evidence against the festival promoters under some hidden provision in the Patriot Act. But I can say there were several bands at this festival that I was looking forward to seeing.
<br>
<br>
Our supplies were slim. I had $90 in spending money, about a gram and a half of Mazar (top quality Afghani indica), a hoodie sweatshirt, two canvas lawn chairs, my bubbler, and the clothes on my back.
<br>
<br>
Shaggy had perhaps $50 cash, nearly a full eighth of G-13 buds (even better than my Mazar), a tent, a sleeping bag, and a cooler filled with water, a bag of cherries, two bananas, and four skones.
<br>
<br>
Whatever, we were only camping there for one night. If we didn’t have it, we didn’t need it. Except drugs, that’s what the money was for.
<br>
<br>
So as we paid for our tickets and drove into the lot at around noon on Saturday, we both had huge grins on our faces. Maybe the bowl of G-13 we had just smoked had something to do with it, but there was so much more. Immediately upon seeing the old Volkswagon vans, Saab 900s, Subaru Loyales, and tie-dye buses which lined the lot I felt like I was home. And when I saw the people, I knew it.
<br>
<br>
So Shaggy and I grabbed our stuff and started off to find a camping spot. Awkwardly balancing our cargo, we walked pass the stage and the rows of vendors selling food and all kinds of fresh hippie gear. There were several trails heading into the woods and we headed down a random trail. The trail lead us though a pine forest of small rolling hills, covered with a thick bed of pine needles. In almost every manageable spot somebody had set up a tent, tarp, and whatever else they brought. Soon enough we found a spot and pitched the tent.
<br>
<br>
Then we smoked a bowl of G-13 and got very baked. We set up the canvas chairs and sat down in front of our tent, enjoying the fact that we were finally settled in at the music festival which we had been looking forward to for the entire 15 hours in which we even knew we were going.
<br>
<br>
I said, “This would be a good place to trip.”
<br>
Shaggy said, “This will be a good place to trip!”
<br>
<br>
We both cracked up, because it was so true. Of course we’d be tripping!
<br>
<br>
Right as we said that someone approached us and muttered something under his breath.
<br>
<br>
“Huh?” I knew he was selling something but I didn’t know what yet. He opened his bag to show me his wares.
<br>
<br>
He showed me some pot. “Headies”, he said. I checked out his bag of beasters and told him I had that covered. “Molly”, he said.
<br>
<br>
“Oh yeah? Lemme check out that molly.”
<br>
<br>
He took out a roll of about 10 pills, unmarked and white, and handed them to me. “Nice pills. Where’s the molly?” Apparently I had yet to learn that any MDMA-related product was advertised as “molly” as this particular festival. Anyway, I was looking for real molly, so I sent the guy off dispite his claim that “You can tell these pills are good just by looking at them”.
<br>
<br>
After that we got a visit from someone from the tent next door. It wasn’t hard to figure out that this particular tent belonged to about six people working together to sell pressed ecstasy pills. So this kid came over and immediately started giving me a bad vibe.
<br>
<br>
Immediately he started talking shit: “Yo what up bros. Fat festie huh. I can’t wait until fucking night time, you know, when its dark out. Then its time to dilate the pupils, you know what I mean? You gotta get your buzz on. Whatever makes your pupils go *boink*, you know?”
<br>
<br>
I though this kid was an absolute jackass, but he stuck around for a few minutes talking the same shit. Then another guy came over and said, “Rolls.” Well, I’m a curious person, so I asked what the stamps were. Then both of these guys started to gang up on me:
<br>
<br>
Jackass: “Yo they’re number ones, they’re good.”
<br>
Me: “A one with three stars above it?”
<br>
Jackass: “No they’re number ones.”
<br>
Me: “I thought he was selling them.”
<br>
Seller: “I am.”
<br>
Me: “So tell me about them.”
<br>
Jackass: “They’re good, you know?”
<br>
Me: “No, are they speedy?”
<br>
Jackass: “Yeah, the first two hours is like whoa.”
<br>
Me: “I don’t want a speedy pill. How much?”
<br>
Seller: “$20 for 1, $45 for 3”.
<br>
Jackass: “$45 for 3, that’s a good deal! We should go in together on 3 and save money!”
<br>
<br>
Don’t ask me why but for some reason I spent $30 on two of these pills. I guess I was ready to do some drugs. Mostly, I was baked, and those two guys confused me. I think they were working together.
<br>
<br>
But it was time to go for a walk and check out the entire camp grounds. The trails were beautiful and both Shaggy and I were still in the greatest spirits possible. The smell of fresh pine, pot smoke, and incense mixed to create the most delightful olfactory sensation. After walking for a couple minutes, and being offered more “rolls” and “headies” we heard someone ask if we’d like some mushrooms.
<br>
<br>
Well, yes we did! We asked to see them and Shaggy was handed an eighth bag of some excellent looking mushrooms. The guy wanted thirty bucks, but to our absolute delight handed us back too much change so we ended up only paying twenty. Our intent was to split these mushrooms once it got dark, but of course I was still keeping my eyes peeled for a certain something else.
<br>
<br>
We ended up on the concert field and caught the start of a certain band I’d never heard of before. I’d love to give them public props, but I can’t give away their name. Anyway, they were sick. The guitarist was busting out some clean and original riffs, the keyboard player had crazy sideburns and long hair blowing behind him in the wind (hey, I was amused), and the bass player kept climbing on the speakers and drums. Shaggy and I sat on the lawn puffing more G-13.
<br>
<br>
The G-13 high, by the way, is exceptional. It provides a powerful body high and mild mind trip which leaves my body feeling both relaxed and energized while putting the smoker in an instantly excellent mood. Two or three hits of the stuff is enough to get very baked, yet we smoked the stuff as if we had just discovered the miracle of fire and needed to keep that precious flame going.
<br>
<br>
We hadn’t tapped into the Mazar yet. We figured a pure indica like that is best used when its time to mellow out. Right now, we were just getting fired up!
<br>
<br>
So, as we sat there watching a nearly unheard of band rock out, with dozens of beautiful young flower-dress and no-bra wearing ladies dancing right in front of us, we agreed that life is indeed good.
<br>
<br>
After the band’s set was done we were ready to do some more wandering. We walked through the various trails checking out some of the crazy tents people had set up and constantly being offered “headies”, “rolls”, “pharmies”, and “mushrooms”. Soon we came to a river bank and sat on the shore to smoke a bowl of G-13. Very baked, again, we ran through the woods for a while enjoying our time in the great outdoors.
<br>
<br>
We went back to the campsite to grab a frisbee. Once again we took a look at the fine specimins of P. Cubensis mushrooms that we had. Each one was picked just before the veil was broken. Some people were gathered in front of our tent, and as we packed and smoked a bowl of G-13 we overheard someone say with no hint of uncertainty that LSD would soon be flowing through the festival.
<br>
<br>
And, after a quick game of frisbee, followed by a longer stretch of stoned “people watching”, I suspected the prophecy had come true. See, I noticed a group of ten hippies, ordered oldest to youngest, walking through the path as if they were Native Americans or a group of elves from The Lord of the Rings. I mean, as they walked by I could feel the vibe: serenity, peace, higher consciousness. I could tell there was LSD flowing through their veins, and that they were the ones responsible for whatever LSD might be available.
<br>
<br>
So, it was time to take another walk. We went back to the concert field at perhaps 7:00pm and I ate one of my ecstasy pills. We watched a band for a while. Initially I thought they sucked, but after about an hour I would catch myself getting into the music. Regardless, the music still sucked and no amount of MDMA would convince me otherwise, so we headed off for another walk through the woods. It was now dusk, and the trails took on a different feel to them. I knew once it got dark out all insanity would break loose.
<br>
<br>
And then, I heard it.
<br>
<br>
“Doses.”
<br>
I stopped dead in my tracks. “Oh yeah? What are they?”
<br>
“Dragons.”
<br>
“How much for a strip?”
<br>
“$100 a strip, $10 a hit. But it’s the only real stuff here, and its gonna go fast.”
<br>
Ouch. Well, I took a look at the sheets and they were for sure the Dragon blotter which I’ve heard is supposed to be good stuff. I couldn’t afford a strip at those prices so I grabbed three blotters.
<br>
<br>
Now, with LSD in my possession and MDMA increasingly infiltrating my mental processes, I was as happy as could be.
<br>
<br>
We got back to the tent and Shaggy asked how the ecstasy was affecting me, since he didn’t notice any really drastic changes in my personality or actions besides those which could be explained by the cannabis. This was a good question, as I hadn’t really thought about that yet myself. I felt I was fully up on the pill, and that it was clean MDMA, just that it wasn’t really a very strong pill. I’d guess there was 60mg of MDMA in there. I told him I had a nice buzz going, I had a push towards being in a great mood, and I was a bit more social than usual. I explained, had I double dropped, I’d probably be more noticeably fucked. But I didn’t want to double drop an unknown pill, especially if the contents of said pill could affect my ability to enjoy a psychedelic evening.
<br>
<br>
I looked at the doses. It looked like I actually had more like 4 hits. It was unperforated, but a generous cut indeed.
<br>
<br>
“So Shaggy, now that I’ve got this acid I don’t think I’ll be doing those mushrooms.”
<br>
“Yeah, I figured.”
<br>
“Do you want to eat the whole 8th by yourself?”
<br>
“I sure do! I was thinking that myself!”
<br>
“Cool. You owe me ten bucks.”
<br>
<br>
So Shaggy munched upon his 3.5 grams of mushrooms and then we smoked a bowl of G-13 and got very baked.
<br>
<br>
Some time passed, and Shaggy had come up on his mushrooms, and then we heard some music that sounded pretty good from the concert field so we walked over there and sat on the grass for a while. But I was really excited to have the doses in my pocket, so pretty soon we went over to my car where I cut off about ¾ of a hit and let it chill on my tongue for a while. I thought I’d start low to see how good the acid was, and to leave open the option of eating some more ecstasy later on. We went back and sat on the grass.
<br>
<br>
After about twenty minutes I noticed the earliest effects of LSD. First, I noticed that my vision had sharpened beyond my normally perfect vision. I could see clearly, even though it was getting dark, for a much longer distance than usual. Second, I was enjoying an unusual mental clarity. As a guitar player, when I watch a band on stage I usually pay close attention to the guitar, especially if it’s any good. Normally I understand most of what the guitarist is doing, and I am surprised by a few tricks or riffs that I never would have thought of. As I was coming up on that first ¾ hit of LSD, I understood everything. This is hard to describe, but it was as if I was able get inside the head of the musician to understand how and why he was playing that way. Therefore, climactic moments in the song felt like a shared musical victory. I was quite confident that I could have been on stage and had the crowd rocking. In fact, I wished I was. I believe the tab of ecstasy, which was still in effect, added an extra-emotional aspect to the beginning of my acid trip. The primary emotion was joy.
<br>
<br>
I noticed how clean the acid felt, and that I had absolutely no anxiety, so I dropped another half-tab or so of the Dragon blotter, bringing me up to about 1.25 blotters.
<br>
<br>
Meanwhile Shaggy was having a good time on the mushrooms. He complained of gut rot, and this made me glad I took LSD instead, because good LSD really has no negative physical effects worth complaining about. I was also surprised, considering how good those shrooms looked, that Shaggy was able to maintain his composure and keep a relatively coherent conversation. Of course, coherency is relative, and we were relatively high.
<br>
<br>
Soon another band came on stage, and this time it was the first night’s headlining act. I had never seen them before, so it was a pleasant surprise to see how much these guys rocked! I analyzed every note at hyperspeed, down to the finest details like the angle of the pick attack. Sometimes it is hard not to feel like a super genius on LSD when my mind is working on overdrive and thinking in totally new ways. The fact that this band was made of musical virtuosos combined with the fact that I understood what they were playing so completely led me to the euphoric conclusion that I had the capacity to do the same.
<br>
<br>
My intent gaze, previously fixated on the band, caught a glimpse at the sky. The sun was setting, and the scattered puffy clouds were intensely colored. The sky looked as if it were digitized, and pixels of color were seperating and regrouping to form solid bands of color. Ah, visuals! I looked down at the ground, and sure enough the grass was crawling around in some kind of repeating triangular pattern.
<br>
<br>
I looked around the crowd and was fascinated by the different people. There were hippies, young and old. There were Hell’s Angels bikers. There were people that looked relatively mainstream. What was really interesting is that everyone was fucked up. I noticed that MDMA seemed to be the drug of choice tonight, because it is obvious when someone is rolling. I looked around some more, and saw a few people who I was convinced were on mushrooms. I could see through to the organic, animal quality of their experience. But where were my fellow acid trippers? I looked around some more, until I caught the eye of the man dancing right next to me. He was perhaps 60 years old and looked a lot like Jerry Garcia. I looked into his eyes, and him into mine. We both knew, and without saying anything gave each other a smile, turned back towards the band, and returned to dancing at full intensity.
<br>
<br>
After a while I turned to Shaggy:
<br>
<br>
“This acid is great man!”
<br>
“Yeah? I think my mushrooms are starting to wear off. My belly still feels like crap though.”
<br>
“You should eat some acid. That will make you feel better. Hahaha!”
<br>
“Hmm… maybe.”
<br>
“If you eat a hit of acid I’ll eat another hit of acid.”
<br>
“Okay!”
<br>
<br>
See, previously Shaggy was under the opinion that mushrooms were superior to LSD. I felt this was because he had never had a worthy LSD trip, and my intent was to change this so he would recognize the true prowress of LSD. Besides, I knew my night was just getting started.
<br>
<br>
We walked (floated?) over to the car and got inside to cut the last bit of acid. In front of us was a field of tall grass, and then a forest made of short trees. It looked like the field turned into a weird ocean, and that if I drove my car forward I would get lost in the tall grass. Things were starting to move around quite a bit now, and I realized I was tripping adequately. So I cut off a slightly larger piece for Shaggy and told him to stick out his tongue as I dropped it on. I had another ¾ hit, bringing me up to two hits total.
<br>
<br>
As soon as I stepped out of the car, I was in crazy land. The ground, which was full of ruts and uneven spots, was moving all over the place. I stumbled on a couple ruts, which I thought was strange considering I was still floating. We got back to the field, and another band was playing but they didn’t sound as interesting. It was dark out now, and the vending tents were lit up. I swear they looked like candy-land huts. The buildings were swinging back and forth to the music, and they were incredibly bright and I could see the energy vibrating off of them. We walked over to one such vendor hut and bought a really nice blanket, for it was starting to get pretty cold out.
<br>
<br>
We decided it was time to go for a walk in the woods. Wow! What a different feeling they had at night! Nestled among the pine trees were hundreds of tents, most of which had a small light revealing a small group of people acting crazy. I’m sure this wasn’t just me projecting my own trip on others: the whole place was on drugs. As we walked back to the tent we heard people throughout the woods hitting sticks against trees, forming some kind of giant primitive drum circle.
<br>
<br>
We got back to the tent and sat down for a minute. Everything was moving around and glowing with the rainbow colored vibrations which are a characteristic visual of LSD. I closed my eyes and was blinded. All I could see were incredibly bright explosive fountains of every color at once. The CEVs were too intense and unstructured for now, but I knew later on in the trip they would start to take some fascinating forms. So Shaggy and I sat talking for a while, laughing almost constantly as we heard loud laughter breaking out throughout the forest.
<br>
<br>
The tent next to us, which was apparently selling lots of mediocre ecstasy, had sent some guy up to climb a tree. He had some kind of rope light which flashed at an incredibly high frequency and created a trippy strobe effect. After some time he finally got it up there and our part of the forest broke out in applause because that rope light was trippy as hell and everyone loved the show.
<br>
<br>
For the next ten hours I hallucinated people jumping about in the tree tops, no doubt caused by this guy climbing the tree in the first place.
<br>
<br>
Right after that one of Shaggy’s friends stopped by the tent. He had some molly (mdma powder). Since this, along with LSD, was what I was hoping to find that night, I asked him about it. After much confusion regarding the cash in my wallet (I couldn’t tell which bills were which, and I tried to buy way more molly than I had money for) I finally settled on 300mg of molly. Then I proceeded to nearly lose the gel caps because they blended in with my sweatshirt and my hand. This was a difficult purchase!
<br>
<br>
At the time I had no intention of eating any of that molly though. Lord, I was high enough, and didn’t want to fuck with a perfect trip! I just thought it would be a good thing to save for some time when I wanted to have wild sex with my girlfriend until the wee hours of the morning. I have since eaten the molly, and it was good. I never write mdma trip reports though, because, believe me, you don’t want to read them
<br>
<br>
Soon after that some one of Shaggy’s other friends stopped by (we will call him “A”), and had with him two of his friends (“B” and “C”). For some reason we were looking for some cabins where the late-night bands were supposed to be playing, so we set off on a walk with these guys to find them. On the way there we were delayed several times by the following events:
<br>
<br>
1. B and C wanted to eat some mushrooms. I guess each of them ate just under an 8th of shrooms each. So we stopped at their tend and they chowed them down.
<br>
<br>
2. Some Hell’s Angels stopped us and asked, in the lowest, scariest, graveliest voice imaginable, if we wanted to buy pounds of weed or mushrooms. We very tactfully turned down their offer. I tried not to freak out or crack up. I wasn’t sure which one I was about to do, but I was glad to be on my way.
<br>
<br>
3. A wanted to buy an ounce of herb, so we had to stop by some tent and wait around for what seemed like a long while. Meanwhile, waiting around, I had a fun time chatting with B and C. B, in particular, seemed like he was losing his sanity, to my great amusement. See, on LSD, no matter how fucked I actually am, I’m really convinced I have the mental advantage over anyone I’m around. I am the wittiest, clearest-thinking guy alive
<br>
<br>
4. We found a river and stopped to smoke a bowl. I smoked about four hits of the first cannabis I’d had since I dropped the acid. I was so high already that I couldn’t tell if the weed did anything. Actually, I think it gave me gas. Meanwhile Shaggy and A were sitting on a fence post, and the fence post broke and they both landed on their asses. I’m sure you can imagine the non-stop laughter that broke out.
<br>
<br>
5 through 43. Yes, there was quite a large number of times when we got sidetracked simply because we were all tripping balls and somehow ended up standing around before we remembered that we were on a mission of sorts.
<br>
<br>
Anyway, eventually we got to the late night cabins, but they were too packed to get inside, so we stood around outside for a while. There was one guy, who was quite large and wearing a fur hat with ear-flops, who offered me some Jagermeister. I turned down the offer because I was happy with my current mindspace. Then he stuck out his hand and I noticed a bunch of people gathered around him. I looked and saw he was handing out mushrooms like he had an endless supply of them. I admit, the mushrooms were more tempting, but I was still peaking on the acid and didn’t really feel like dealing with gut rot. This guy was fucked up beyond belief, and quite a large guy, and I thought it was halarious.
<br>
<br>
Then I bumped into someone behind me, turned around, and saw a huge black leather jacket with the famous Hell’s Angels logo. The biker seemed like he was harrassing some kid who he must have fronted a bunch of drugs to earlier on in the night.
<br>
<br>
“Hey Shaggy.”
<br>
“Yeah?”
<br>
“I’m feeling the urge to go for another walk in the woods. What do you say?”
<br>
“Allright.”
<br>
<br>
So our group of trippers took off once again. Walking back to our tent, we passed a string of three police officers walking the other way. I still had no paranoia, except when it came to the idea of getting harrassed by a 250 pound biker.
<br>
<br>
We arrived at the camp site and by that time B and C were rather fucked from their mushrooms. B, in particular, was starting to lose it. We had some African-type thumb piano (pardon my ignorance, I have no idea what this thing was actually called) and he only seemed to be happy when he was playing it. He was constanly muttering nonsense and he seemed really confused. At one point he ran across the trail to another tent and handed somebody three dollars, apparently thinking they were looking to break a three-dollar bill. Since I was having fun talking to this kid earlier on in the night I took it upon myself to make sure he was doing allright, especially once I had learned it was his first time tripping. He was totally disoriented, stopping people on the trail and saying, “What did you say your name was again?” and “Have I been bad?” and stuff like that. Thankfully we were in just about the best place for something like that. Everyone was very understanding and nice to him (even though many couldn’t help crack up at him anyway). He kept asking for “Neilson” and I had no idea who he was talking about. Perhaps two hours later I finally got him to describe “Neilson”, because I wanted to find him so B would mellow out. It turns out Neilson was what he decided the African thumb piano was called, so I got that thing for him.
<br>
<br>
We sat around smoking copious amounts of ganja and random people stopped by in various states of insanity and confusion and it was tons of fun.
<br>
<br>
At one point, Shaggy collapsed on the ground and started cracking up. Later, I asked him what the deal was with that, and he said, “That’s when the acid hit me!”
<br>
<br>
Now, at perhaps 5:00am, I was a bit tired of sitting outside in the freezing cold and listening to B continue to talk complete nonsense (I have never seen anyone affected by mushrooms so hard for so long), so I went inside the tent to wait until it got warm out again. I knew there would be no sleep tonight, because now, nine hours after eating acid, I still felt like I was peaking. We smoked a couple bowls of Mazar, and enjoyed the relaxing qualities of this fine indica.
<br>
<br>
Shaggy joined me and spent a lot of time moving about the tent, and I made fun of him for not being able to settle down and chill out. We knew the next four hours would be spent on the verge of sleep, but not being able to sleep. Even if the LSD would have let me sleep, the constant sound of chaos and laughter outside the tent wouldn’t have let me.
<br>
<br>
Over the next few hours several people decided to use my canvas chairs as a place to sit down and hold some seriously e-tarded conversations. Take this, for example:
<br>
<br>
Guy 1: “Yeah, you know how we do it, legit deals only man.”
<br>
Guy 2: “Word, there’s not enough people like us left these days.”
<br>
Guy 1: “You know, I work with like 5 other people and we call ourselves the monkey gang.”
<br>
Guy 2: “Huh?”
<br>
Guy 1: “Yeah, we like run around the forest acting like monkeys, it’s totally chill.”
<br>
Guy 2: “Huh?”
<br>
Guy 1: “You know, it’s like a joke and stuff. We run around and go, oooh-oooh, aaah-aaah!”
<br>
Guy 2: “Well that’s cool you can poke fun at yourselves.”
<br>
Guy 1: “Yeah its not meant to intimidate, you know, we figure we might as well have some fun while we’re working, you know.”
<br>
Guy 2: “Huh.”
<br>
<br>
I know there were several weird-ass conversations that I wished I had a notepad to write down, because the level of randomness and e-tardation occuring outside my tent that night was at an all-time high. But, since I knew I couldn’t sleep anyway, I thought it was interesting to listen to these oddball conversations.
<br>
<br>
Eventually the sun came out again. The sun shone through the trees and cast some fascinating shadows on the canvas of the tent above my face. I realized I was still tripping full force, and this must have been 14 or 15 hours after dropping the acid! Excellent, I thought. This is going to be a strange day!
<br>
<br>
I turned over on my side and looked at the side of the tent for a while. Slowly, the moving shadows caused by the sun and the swaying tree branches transformed. After a minute or so they had turned into a couple of three-dimensional people dancing inside the tent. It was totally realistic and maximally trippy! I couldn’t believe my mind was still being blown so long after taking the acid.
<br>
<br>
I stepped outside and everything still had the LSD vibration. Outside, some people were outside cooking breakfast. Some people were walking around looking strung out as hell. Some people looked like they had just taken a fresh capsule of molly and were still going strong. I heard people saying, “I’m still tripping!” and was glad not to be the only one.
<br>
<br>
Shaggy woke up (that bastard actually got some sleep) and we smoked a bowl of G-13. I looked down at the ground and had an amazing vision. The ground, covered with pine needles, turned into a completely flat surface. Then, all the pine needles started glowing and I could see each one, from below my feet to the horizon, in perfect clarity. I could see the entire network of pine needles across the forest floor, and saw that each one was placed with mathematical precision by the forces of nature. Then, the entire forest floor turned into what I can best describe as “The Matrix”. I will leave this to your imagination, because it is really indescribable. I will say, however, that it looked far more amazing than the green digital text of the movie “Matrix”.
<br>
<br>
That day we continued smoking bowls, and I found that even though I was tired, I wasn’t as physically exhausted as I might have been. I was hungry, out of food, and broke though! I will say that the LSD lasted 20 solid hours, because that was the point when I finally gave in to Shaggy’s insistance that I go for a quick drive to the ATM.
<br>
<br>
So, that is my introduction to the American hippie music festival, for those of you who have never been to such a thing.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2004</td><td width="90">ExpID: 46852</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 15, 2006</td><td>Views: 11,303</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=46852&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=46852&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Cannabis (1), MDMA (3), LSD (2) : Festival / Lg. Crowd (24), Glowing Experiences (4)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 cig.</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">240 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. <a href="/chemicals/show_image.php?i=dmt/dmt_contraindications1.gif">Don't do it!</a>]</span> <br>
<br>
I recieved a random call around 4 PM on a warm saturday evening. It was a long time friend of mine telling me that his parent's house was empty for the night, and his LSD contact had product to sell.<br>
<br>
This was great news for me and my beloved fiancee. We had both done low doses (2 hits at most) a few times in the past, but were always constrained by reality of life forcing us to keep sane. This time, we had the next 24 hours of our lives cleared. It was especialy great news for me, since I basicaly grew up at his parent's house, I knew that the 10 acre estate would be a wonderful thing to (safely) roam around in along with the light from a full moon. S (my fiancee), didn't like the idea so much since she has never been to J's (my friend) parent's place before.<br>
<br>
Beautiful land, rolling hills, and plenty of wildlife to watch. I couldn't wait!<br>
<br>
All three of us went in on a ten-strip of LSD, which came in a strip ten long, each being 1 sq cm in area, perhaps a little less. At 10PM we discussed things we should and shouldn't do, who to call if things get out of hand, and just about every aspect of what will or won't happen for the next 12 hours or so. It was thoroughly planned out in that aspect, perhaps not so much in the psycological aspects.<br>
<br>
I, for example, knew that LSD does one thing and it does it EXTREMELY well; it makes reality go bye-bye. Higher doses make it go even more bye-bye. I had done two hits in the past, S had done one, and J had done two as well. They had the general idea that reality was about to be a thing of the past, but I don't believe they truely understood the implications of that statement.<br>
<br>
I don't consider myself experienced with LSD or any psychadelics to be honest, but I've heard many stories from trustworthy people, and I've listened to every single one of them closely. I knew what to expect, and because of that, I was made the de facto trip sitter. It was my job to, at the very least, get a sober person involved should someone go too far down the rabit hole.<br>
<br>
At 10:20 PM, we ate our overpriced LSD. Me and S took three hits each, and J took the remaining four. I warned him that after three hits, things take on a more 'psychological' trend. He said that he was of sound mind, and down the hatch they went.<br>
<br>
I pulled out a nice big ol' bag of weed and rolled us up three joints, probably more than we would get around to smoking, and as soon as I crafted the last bit of perfection, disaster struck! We didn't have anything to drink! Just water from the tap, but we didn't want to trust ourselves to glasses (which can easily break and cut), so with the three hits of acid still in my mouth (along with the horrible taste) I took the short drive up to a nearby gas station. On the way there, S got the giggles really bad, but still went inside with me, laughing her ass off. I purchased the necessities, a carton of Camel Turkish Golds, and Pepsi.<br>
<br>
Back to the ranch we went. By this time, I was noticing waves in my periphreal, and a slight mental ... 'distance'. Nothing I'm not used to, and certianly nothing I haven't driven with. Suffice it to say, we made it back to J's place at 10:50-ish. The whole reason I wanted to use his parent's house as a setting was because of his gigantic back yard, and, well, neither J or S cared where we enjoyed our LSD, so it was to the back yard we all went!<br>
<br>
Beyond a bit of a garden, is a courtyard, with six 'spokes' branching off to what will soon be additional gardens and a very large shade tree standing proud in the middle. Off towards the east was a red and white barn, with plenty of rolling hills between us and it, along with man-made 'levees' of various trees and bushes that made a very nice pattern. I was still more sober than one with the universe at this point, so I ate a Jolly Rancher.<br>
<br>
I think at that point, is when my trip started. Suddenly the full moon burst into radiant colors (mostly taking on a dull washed out rainbow-esque hue) and the clouds transformed endlessly into growing fractal patterns that would make any mathematician orgasm on sight. The trees followed like suit, and then, the best thing happened as far as the visuals went... The grass took on depth. Each blade was infintely linked to the next in a sprawling geometrical patterns of the earth itself, each line winding itself to and from each other line. I could easily see how people might thing snakes are after them. Trust me though, they are quite friendly!<br>
<br>
J and S both had amazing auras of yellow and blue, and the trees were waving hello to us and showing me snowflake-like patterns in their limbs. The view alone was worth the price! I piped up 'Thank you for flying LSD Air, please enjoy the fractals and auras until we land, which is about 8 hours from now!', which was a whole other land of laughter.<br>
<br>
Around this time in the trip (nobody had a watch, sorry), conversation was difficult at best, and there was a lot of us asking each other 'are you seeing this shit!?!!' and going 'holy shit, look at that (whatever)!!'. S described the trip hitting her full on as 'Imagine falling into a giant tub of Jell-O. I feel like I'm just suspended, somewhere in existence', complete with a whooshing noise and all. J was still in a bit of a shock that he was on four hits of LSD, but was quickly being forced to come to terms with it. I knew to expect it, so I welcomed every sensation, sight, and sound with open arms. It was also around this time that everyone complained about feeling wet. It was damp out, yes, it was midnight-ish, but typicaly you don't feel wet from dew if you're clothed. It was slightly annoying at worst, and kinda neat at best. This wetness didn't stop until Monday.<br>
<br>
Someone eventualy sparked a joint and good conversation about the drug itself, what it was doing to us, how we felt, what we experienced, and then the idea of watching Allice in Wonderland sprung up. Inside we went!<br>
<br>
J's brother, M, was upstairs asleep. He's a bit of a straight-edge as far as drug use/knowlege goes, so we kept the volume down for the whole 2 minutes 32 seconds we managed to watch it. Everything was intensely impossible to do at this point, it (everything) required strict concentration and that was simply something that was beyond comprehension. Working the volume controls was completely impossible since LSD vastly enhances your ability to hear minute details in things, and with M being only a few doors away, we couldn't agree on a good volume level. S was also being somewhat freaked out being inside of someone's house watching a movie while on drugs, so we just called it quits and headed back outside after refueling on drinks and doing other various things that us humans need to do.<br>
<br>
On the way out, J's dog escaped, and simply since I was closer to where she ran off to, I simply 'made a connection and asked her nicely to come back inside with me'. With a little corraling and petting, she was back inside. I was amazed at how well she took to me since it's been YEARS since we last met.<br>
<br>
This trip out to the back yard was a little harder at best. The moon was covered up with clouds, blocking our much needed light, and J was really far down the rabit hole to the point of where he couldn't guide us, so once again I took the lead. Everyone was peaking right around this time, and all we could do when we got back was to just simply sit and admire the scenery. A few bats flew by off in the distance, so we all got a good half hour long laugh out of S referencing Fear and Loathing; 'Damn bats! No reason to tell him, he'll see them soon enough!'<br>
<br>
As soon as me and S started to come down off of our peak (which was a very rough ride, might I add. It wasn't very pleasant at all aside from the scenery), J got stuck in a loop. He also doesn't remember a thing about what he did or said, and his impression of what happened from there on is completely different from what actually happened. It was kindof fun for the first two hours, literally playing with his mind and seeing the links he would form between two or three ideas. Eventually, his loop ended up catching back up to reality, but at the same time he wouldn't keep his distance from me or S. I couldn't handle that one bit.<br>
<br>
I've been friends with the man for over 10 years, but I knew that due to LSD, he was simply NOT at ALL himself anymore. I knew he wasn't a violent person, but I also knew that all it took was a single thought to change that. On LSD, thoughts have more power than just about anything in existence. I did my job for the night and woke his brother up. I told him exactly what and when things happened, and what to expect. J still refused to keep his distance from me, and I myself was getting a little freaked out. This was around 3:30 AM. Me and S had come down a great deal since midnight-thirty or so, but very far from being 'all there'. I debated going ahead and driving home (bad idea) or staying until later in the day (good idea).<br>
<br>
I would've stayed, with the one exception being that I had driven each and every time I took LSD in the past. I knew that all I had to do was simply let my body go into 'automatic' and make sure that redlights were red, and whatnot. That was S's job. We made it home safely at a bit past 4 AM, cleaned things up enough to walk around, smoked a joint (which was an amazing experience, to say the least. Everything instantly became downright BEAUTIFUL), and threw in Chronicles of Riddick, of all movies to watch while cuddled up on the bed. I had a somewhat hard time seeing because things were staring out at me from the TV, but just feeling the bass vibrate every single molecule in my body was amazing enough.<br>
<br>
Sleep was impossible. S managed a solid two hours, while I just tossed and turned thoroughly enjoying the sheets and my closed eyelids. We called it quits around 11 AM and got up to shower and maybe head out for the day. I realized at this point that I was hungry as hell, and couldn't bring myself to do more than drink water. That was extremely unpleasant since I smoke cigarettes, and nicotine on an empty stomach is a really bad idea. S and me eventualy managed to split a ham &amp; cheese sandwich, which helped our stomach problems immensely. Then, heh, we went out shopping. This was payday weekend, it was now Sunday, and we had only spent about half of our alotted spending money.<br>
<br>
With LSD, colors tend to jump out at me in more ways than one. We headed over to a large retail store and picked up another DVD to watch, some food for later in the day, and a type of cactus. Named George. George was kindof rubbery feeling, but has very pleasant patterns, and is still sitting in our window sill. Aside from some interesting things to look at and engaging conversation with the checkout clerk, we got lucky and nothing bad happened.<br>
<br>
The rest of the day was basicaly uneventful, aside from the fact that I was very far from being 'all there'. S and I kept thanking each other for being there for each other, we didn't have to talk or even touch when we were peaking. We could feel each othere's presence, and that was good enough to keep us from being afraid of our own minds. Tripping LSD isn't always a wise idea to do with someone I love, since unconscious feelings can be brought up and made into worse things and whatnot, but this time, yeah, this time things turned from beauty to ugly to shear oneness with this beautiful universe.<br>
<br>
Monday came rolling around and back to work I dredged myself, still not at all 100% myself. It wasn't a big deal, my job isn't very demanding of my mental capacity, but I was tired all day despite the fact that me and S got a full 10 hours of (dreamless) sleep on Sunday night.<br>
<br>
I left all of my pariphenalia with J when I left, since driving while on drugs is a bad thing, and having drugs in the car is even worse, so me and him met up on Tuesday for some coffee and to talk over what happened (and to get my stash back!). He had some very funny insights into what he was going through, and we still respect each other despite the mental hell we all went through. He claims he won't do it again, at least, not four hits. I don't blame him. He scared me, and while I think I could handle it, I just simply don't want to. Three was beautiful, and that's what I wanted out of LSD.<br>
<br>
I'm done now.<br>
S is done.<br>
J is definately done.<br>
<br>
It's been a week as of today since we tripped, and I feel fine. I feel more connected to life than I ever have before, S feels the same. I have no regrets, nobody was hurt, and we all three still respect each other.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 46528</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Apr 19, 2006</td><td>Views: 5,465</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=46528&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=46528&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Glowing Experiences (4)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 cig.</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">170 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Well I had wanted to LSD for many years but at no avail until I was 17 when I got some trips called snowflakes.
<br>
<br>
There was 3 of in the group (a 4th friend who had a trip was to meet us later) and at one of my friends houses we all took a trip each.
<br>
<br>
We kept it under our toungs for about 15 mins and then proceeded out to a forest/river area nearby to chill out with a few beers after about an hour we found the conversation level rose quite a lot and we seem to laugh a little more than normal but I was sure that they wernt gonna work. I mean they are only little bits of paper after all arnt they?
<br>
<br>
So 2 of us took another one to see what would happen..Shortly after it started raining which we were all mad about I was saying things like...darn its wet! we're in hole and the nights ruined but for some reason it was really funny!! As time went on everything just got funnier..The whole situation just seemed ridiculous. Us..a bunch of apes...in this forest...tripping our balls off on paper.
<br>
<br>
Well after the 2 hour mark we stopped in the middle of a cobbled passage way with a dim errie orange light in the middle. To our right was the main road and to our left was back to forest well the 3 of us stood around debating what to do. I said we had to meet our friend near the main road my other friend said we should wait or maybe go left the problem was as soon as we got serious about what to do we would burst out into laughter..
<br>
<br>
One of us would tell the other two to be quiet as he would atempt to explain what we should do..but as soon at he would get anywhere we would laugh histericly. It was like as the LSD kicked in, our mental ages dropped and dropped and an hour later we were still there deciding what to do....It was like we were stuck in a group repetitve thought of what to do.
<br>
<br>
We would keep going over the same ideas and laughing...it was like our brain power was being reduced. I would say something like
<br>
<br>
'Right ok so we wil go right and we gotta meet X'
<br>
and a friend would say
<br>
'no we cant becuase we have to go back to forest'
<br>
and I would agree....
<br>
then id say 'No but we gotta go right and we have to meet X'
<br>
and the same left....right...left...right thing went on and on in a big loop until finally our 4th friend turned up.
<br>
<br>
YES! we shouted...our scout leader!!! We danced around him hoping he would take us out of the loop conversation but he got dragged into it as well it was like none of us could just stay where we were...we couldnt settle.
<br>
<br>
It was like we had to do something but we didnt quite know what.... Any how after a bit we all dicided to stay put and 2 of us smoked a joint at the 3 hour mark which short term seemed to do nothing Now here comes up the part that makes my trip way outta the ordinary and more powerful an experience that most people have had. All four of decided to go right out to the main road.
<br>
<br>
When we did we came to a roundabout with a bright light in the middle as I started to walk round the light I started to spin round in what was like a circle and all my friends spiraled around me as i walked around the light It was like the bigest whack ever.. it was what i now call a time circle
<br>
<br>
Basicly as I walked round the light time seem to change to slower/ faster this would happen for a few seconds and then I would come back to normal then 2 mins later another circle would happen.
<br>
<br>
Well this really freaked me out and I started getting nervous and a little paranoid from my fiends who seem to be laughing at me a litttle it took me 20 mins just to try and get everyone off the dangerous road back into the safty of the forest...
<br>
<br>
Well when we back in the forest we all lay down in the grass to chill out (night time by this point) and I was still freaked out. When I closed my eyes I could feel and almost see the tall grass erriely leaning over my face and my friends who were still laughing really freaked me out. It was like instead of me finding everything funny I thought they were all laughing at me as if I had fallen into somesort of evil trap by taking the LSD.
<br>
<br>
Their laughter seemed to echo in my head and I was sure they were laughing at me. Shortly later I walked off with my friend down this path and time started to really distort and skip like a scratched CD. One minuite I would be somewhere on the path and in a split second I would be 10 metres further down the path. I believe this to be because the is no exxternal time. Time is all in the mind meaning the universe outside of your mind is non-linier. Jumping in time can be scary...It makes me feel all alone
<br>
<br>
As we were walking my friend reminded my of the movie called werewolf where some kids were walking along a path...
<br>
<br>
They were safe on the path but if they went off the path the werewolf got them. shortly after I was mubbling things like wheres safety? wheres safety? saftys on the path...If I stay on path I will be safe...If I go off the path the werewolf will get me. Well that was a mistake for a start...Basicly I limited my safty to the path I was walking along.
<br>
<br>
Very shortly after things started to turn into 2D and when I was walking along I was tring to climb through what was infront of me as if it were a painting... Then the wierd bit. When ever I would run off the path I would run into circles of time. I would run off the path for a short time but would be gone in my head for hours and hours. It was like everything around me broke down into pieces in a big spiral as I ran off the path. It was like everything split into 2 then 4 then 8 then 16 then 32 etc. as I ran away from the path. When everything was in 32 pieces time would run 32 times slower than normal for me. Then hours or even days later after reaching numbers like 4096,I would run back out out of this circle/spiral faster and faster back to the path and ask how long I was gone. Just a few seconds they would say but for me it was a lot longer.
<br>
<br>
Then I started running into deep circles.....It was like being sucked in by a time cyclone of the mind...Like going down the plug hole in your mind...deeper and deeper
<br>
Trying to find the path or something?
<br>
<br>
At one point I ran into this circle and started to run out of it I think having seen the path and I started to shout IM ON THE PATH TO LSD! Then id get futher out the circle and I would feel this buzz then id run out faster and faster and this buzz of sheer euphoria would grow and grow until the high was like feeling all the love / exctacy in the world. I had found the path! It was like there was this path that I had to find and when I found it I would blow up with euphoria.
<br>
<br>
It would go higher and higher....It was like time was speeding up as I would run out of the circle... It was like some how on lsd I was runing in and out of time and getting extream emotions...like my soul was exploding with energy...Like I was running towards everything...GOD...safty...it was the biggest YES ever.
<br>
<br>
But after that I lost the path again and didnt know what the path was. Some time later in the night when the time circles stopped I suddenly thought shit ive got to pay the money for the acid to guy i got it off (I already had had done but I had to meet him earlier to pay him and paying him had been on my mind all night)
<br>
<br>
Suddenly I was walking down some road and he appeared as clear as ever infront of me. his hair...his eyes....everything about him was 100% acurate it was as is he was there....he said to me 'got the money?'
<br>
<br>
I got this money out (that i didnt even have) and gave it him Thing was this happen about 20 times, over and over again I kept paying this money.
<br>
<br>
Finaly that must of stoped but then the circle thing came back with a real temper.
<br>
I would run in circles again but this time there was something dark and nasty in the middle. A big black circle in the middle of everything. It was like there was a hole in everything and I kept being sucked into it.
<br>
<br>
Id be sucked faster and faster into this multi dimensional circle and my fear levels rose and rose as I got closer...
<br>
<br>
Id be pulled more and more and then this black bat would spiral down and the closer it got the more scared I got.
<br>
<br>
As the black bat was very near me I was feeling what could be described as all the fear on the planet...Absolute hell or infinite fear was meant to be at the centre.
<br>
Imagine the universal opposite of extream love/exctacy. Where you have lost the path.
<br>
I was running into (but never reaching) infinite fear...I was running from safty...perhaps I had strayed from the path again.
<br>
<br>
I was mubling things like I gotta find the time keepers......where are the timekeepers?
<br>
Then towards the end I was being torn betweed dark and light..
<br>
<br>
It was like I had to find the answer to everything. I had to choose between dark or light being the answer to everything and my decision speed would go faster and faster until I would be making 100000 decisions a second.
<br>
<br>
Eventually what was like 3 months of psychological torture of being trapped in my own head later I came round....
<br>
<br>
I still to this day think that I tapped into the ability to experience infinite emotion on LSD. Those time circles could bring infinite fear or infinite euphoria they were like cylones of emotion...Any how heres the point. IN the middle of some circles it was like I didnt even exist but I had the answer to everything...but as I would come back out of the circles I would lose the idea of what was at the end of it.
<br>
It was like I got some sort of infinite joke at the end of it and I felt fine when I knew the joke but if id lose the joke I would be scared out of my mind.
<br>
<br>
I have looked back on my trip and am thankful for the knowledge it had brought me. I now realise we are all gods and the joke is that we are infinitly powerful and on the path to heaven/nirvana.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1997</td><td width="90">ExpID: 49927</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 4, 2006</td><td>Views: 5,872</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=49927&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=49927&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
<span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. <a href="/chemicals/show_image.php?i=dmt/dmt_contraindications1.gif">Don't do it!</a>]</span> <br>
<br>
A devious plan is hatched. Supplies must be rounded up, the safe house established and checked beforehand for intruders, phones unplugged, locks secured. I must leave word for everyone that may seek to intrude, that I won’t be home, that I won’t be available until further notice. Arrangements have to be made with a diligence necessary to preclude any unforeseen interruption. Past experience with paranoia dictates the need for absolute privacy. Any deviation from the plot can result in disastrous consequences. One does not dare run out of cigarettes. More on those goddamn things later.<br>
<br>
I had spent all afternoon rounding up my conspirators, and even with prior notification, and the use of telephones, this can be difficult. Toni had to work, the poor bastard, that night at the bar he worked in, and Ronnie, did not have a phone and was asleep at 4:30 PM when I arrived at his house. This unemployed long haired white boy was always available for a Monday afternoon anything. He was prime pickings for a well laid plan. <br>
The plan had been for me to pick him up, and we would bug out for the thirty-five mile trip to San Antonio in my turquoise Mustang. The V8 would come in handy when time ran short, and in the haste of a dedicated drug frenzy this could happen sooner than expected. Delays would see to that. <br>
<br>
First Ronnie had to have beer. This was his domain. Large quantities of it would be procured with his expertise, and I don’t know how, he had no driver’s license, no ID, no chance of legally purchasing it, he was all of seventeen. Luckily the follicles of his unshaven face, and in those days the relatively low drinking age of eighteen, made it somehow manageable. By the second or third attempt, with me nervously chain smoking in the car, Ronnie emerged from a store with two cases, cursing me for not helping him carry it as he dumped it all into the back seat and issued the command for us to “jet.” Further stops (damnable delays) included pay phone calls to insure his grandmother, in fact, would be out of the house all weekend, it was there we would “trip.” Also, we stopped for Ronnie’s tape collection, which when coupled with mine, netted us over a hundred albums of rock music; surely enough to help us through the difficult journey ahead, not to mention the rest of the night, which promised to challenge our senses at every turn.<br>
<br>
A fallback position was my house, as my parents were away for a couple of days, but the modest residence was less desirable because of the eyes of neighbors who were fond of my parents and known to “watch” the house when they were away. Finally, after much wrangling, he issued the “thumbs up,” for use of his grandmother’s house. With no fan-fare we booked out of town for San Antonio, the Mustang’s triaxle JVCs blasting anthems from Deep Purple and Ozzy Osbourne. Ronnie was already drinking a beer, and I had tossed him my weed, so that he would begin rolling the short, tight “bombers” that smoked slow and lasted long. This he commenced on one of the cassette boxes from the back seat. We smoked one as he rolled more, “for later.”<br>
<br>
Our connection in San Antonio lived in a predominately lower middle-class residential neighborhood. He was Hispanic, as was the entire neighborhood, and always seemed to have a crowd on hand. Objects in his home, as well as artifacts adorning the walls told us he was at least part Native American. Some of his hangers-on did not speak English, or chose not to, and our host alternated between Spanish and English. The whole neighborhood, it seemed, was full of acid heads, a drug preferred by them because of its low price. On previous visits we had found that our man usually had acid on hand, and often pot, but some times the scene would be “dry,” sending us away disappointed. This late afternoon we shot a couple games of pool on his table in the back room, a den of red lights and felt rock posters, where there were often casualties of the failed drug wars expunged by political leaders and police officials. <br>
<br>
Our man had stepped away after asking how much we needed, and accepting the forty dollars I offered. He returned with ten hits as requested and I breathed a sigh of relief: The only remaining obstacle in our mission had dissolved revealing the framework for the “gnarly time,” in our plan. Ronnie separated two hits each for the two of us and offered two to the Indian, who ate his on the spot. Ronnie and I each took two hits and played another game of pool, and smoked a joint with the Indian and his other guests, before excusing ourselves, as we had to get back before the shit kicked in.<br>
<br>
The madness begins<br>
<br>
Upon reentering the car and making appropriate musical selections, we bugged out for the highway. We headed north, towards sanctuary, the stereo again blasting iconic songs of rebellious youth. <br>
<br>
Soon Ronnie had his ass pointed at the windshield, wrestling with and cursing the mess of beer and cassette tapes in the back seat. “What in the fuck are you doing,” I asked.<br>
<br>
“I thought you had some more sunglasses in here,” he said. He checked the glove box: No luck. “Mother fucker.” “Well you’re not getting mine.” I warned. Those Ray Bans wouldn’t leave my face for all the beer in the car, and he knew it. Planning. There is no substitute. I checked my watch. It had been forty minutes since we took the acid, and I wasn’t feeling anything yet; everything was cool, the only real concern was the fact we weren’t yet back in town, it was a few more miles yet.<br>
<br>
About that time the steering wheel of the car seemed to elongate slightly. “What the fuck...?” I suddenly realized I felt a bit strange. Ronnie was switching tapes, we had voted between “Nazareth and Aerosmith. Nazz prevailed. He glanced over, “It’s rewinding.” He had guessed I was wondering why it wasn’t “jamming” already.<br>
<br>
A highway sign came up, and I noticed simultaneously that it was five more miles to town, and that the sign was also displaying a streak of green that extended well past the sign and seemed to remain next to the car as we sped along. I increased speed to eighty: things were getting tight. I didn’t want to still be behind the wheel when all hell broke loose, and we had less than a quarter hour till that happened. I fired up another cigarette and saw I only had two left. How in the hell could this happen? “Did you see any more packs back there,” I shouted over the music. Ronnie looked at me again, but didn’t answer; he looked distracted, staring out the windshield. I said, “Well I’m going to have to stop, soon as we get there, I’m almost out.” My cohort shrugged, and then announced, “I’m not going in.” Crap be damned, it was getting serious now.<br>
<br>
I whipped the Mustang smoothly into the first convenience store at the edge of town. By my guess we had only minutes and a few short miles to go before we could move indoors to hide. If we were caught by unforeseen circumstances and in any way diverted or delayed, we would be captured and boxed off to rehab faster than you can say, “One toke over the line.” Ronnie let out a “whoosh,” as he appeared to be winded by the thirty-minute drive and relieved to be there. His face looked tense, his jaw tight, I didn’t want to look at him. There was something wrong with the man. He didn’t look right. I stepped out of the car. There seemed to be a lot of chug holes in the pavement of the parking lot, I hadn’t seen them when I screeched in, but now they led all the way to the door. One could twist an ankle, or worse, in this goddamn obstacle course. I started forward, ignoring the loud laughter now coming from my car, it told me I was doing something funny, walking wrong perhaps, but I would deal with the madman in the car later, I had to make it inside.<br>
<br>
Bad vibes at the counter <br>
<br>
Once in the store, I was hit with a terrible feeling of, perhaps guilt, or remorse, I couldn’t be sure of which. I rushed the counter, but was blocked from it by something, yes someone, it appeared to be a man, but as I drew closer, it was clearly not human, not quite. I had seen it before, in illustrations of early man in Anthropology textbooks. It was an early form of Australopithecus, or maybe just a Cro-Magnon, it appeared to be counting, (fifty-nine, sixty, sixty-five, was he counting that right?) and the change plinking on the counter did not appear to be American currency. What the fuck is happening in here, I thought. I was already desperate to leave, and here is some weird fucking activities going on. The clerk leaned on the counter watching the proceedings, glanced at me, and resumed his vigilance over the ape counting money. The clerk's face was a twisted mask, and grotesque. It might as well have been attached by a rubber band strapped to his skull. <br>
<br>
Suddenly I was at a complete loss as to why I was there, and only some forgotten desperation compelled me to stay. I struggled to remember, but couldn’t. I cowered behind the Ray Bans, at a loss to explain my presence. Suddenly it hit me, and in fact I did need a cigarette, one thing about a habit, it sticks with me despite myself. The animal cleared the way, shuffling out the door to presumably knuckle-walk to its car. I lumbered up to the counter.<br>
<br>
“Cigarette! Red... Marlboro Reds!” I blurted, gripping the counter edge until my knuckles went white. There was a mass of cigarette packs on display behind the clerk, all makes, brands, colors darted all over the place: I couldn’t read what they were. The clerk hesitated. “You want a box or soft,” he said.<br>
<br>
What? Oh god, what the fuck does he want? A box? Do I want a whole carton? Next he’s going to want me to sign something or fill out a questionnaire. I don’t have time for that.<br>
<br>
“Not a box,” I said finally, and the clerk plopped a pack on the counter. I handed him what I was sure was two ones, and he handed back what was surely some Australopithecus change, hoping I wouldn’t notice. But I had him beat: I didn’t care if I received change: I had an emergency elsewhere to attend. I grabbed the Marlboro pack and fled: In my mind the clerk was producing his undercover police badge and demanding some ID for the cigarettes. I slid into the Mustang’s seat dropping the cigarettes onto the console, and fumbling with the ignition. Ronnie asked if I had seen a large ape running from the store, but I jarred the stereo volume knob next to the ignition key and flooded the car with Nazareth at top volume. Ronnie screamed, and lurched at the knob, bumping it back down. I drove us out of there, back on the road, flooring the car whenever feasible. He asked if I had stolen the cigarettes. <br>
<br>
Meltdown was under way. The steering will ballooned until it was far too big and out of round to drive comfortably. We made it to his grandmother’s house, and Ronnie eventually found the key hidden outside and let us in. He activated a portable stereo unit on the kitchen counter and tuned it to a San Antonio rock station, and turned it up. We secured the house, then peered outside to check the status of the Mustang parked there, and to see that the police weren’t responding to our presence. <br>
<br>
I emerged from a bathroom break, during which I checked my face in the mirror. My eyes were saucerfied and I had a tense, menacing appearance. Best not to look in there again. I found Ronnie in the kitchen, in front of the refrigerator. He had it open and various objects from within were falling on the floor as he cursed and forced the rest of the beer from the car into it. He gathered what he dropped and returned it to the shelves. All this with one hand as he clenched an open beer with the other, it was foaming and dripping on the floor. Suddenly he set it on the floor, appeared to estimate his degree of balance, and slammed the refrigerator shut. “Goddamn, I bet it gets cold now! Do you want one?” He picked his up. “There’s cool-aid in there if you want that instead.” I opened the fridge and found the cool-aid. Red sugar water. I wouldn’t be ready for the beer for hours. I sipped from the container. This was the shit-phase. All we could do now was sit down, try to make ourselves comfortable, and wait for the real fireworks.<br>
<br>
In the Vortex <br>
<br>
The radio was going to be a problem. In fact, it already was. For one thing, I can’t have an unknown stranger playing DJ for you during all these sensitive moments, besides, who better than us knew what we needed. But as Ronnie unloaded an armload of tapes from the Mustang we soon realized that even the right music wasn’t ever going to sound right with the mediocre equipment on hand here, and we couldn’t move the Mustang’s stereo in here. For the time being we would try the TV, and we knew this would be only a temporary solution for the time being if at all. I surfed through some channels, but we were getting nowhere. I remember saying it would be a fucking miracle if something was on. Ronnie remembered some tapes he recorded on previous visits, and a miracle was at hand. <br>
<br>
He had a movie we both wanted to see, “The Vanishing Point” I knew the synopsis: A speed crazed pill head tries to break some kind of land speed record with a hotrod 1970 Dodge Challenger, by driving it nonstop from LA to Las Vegas, in defiance of all imposed laws in between. A good guy, someone we could root for. It would be a football game of road trips. That was the ticket. I pressed “play,” on the VCR.<br>
<br>
I can’t remember all of the diversions of the movie; it was a manic ride that I felt in my bones, at my core, the physicality of the car, the road, the racing. Insane laughter bouts. The movie played out in the room, overstepping the bounds of the TV, it involved the house itself, the roar of engines and sirens compelled us to occasionally check outside, to see that the coast was still “clear.” The white Challenger at times, was the only thing I could recognize, as it howled along, through dense jungle and under brush that grew out of the set and covered the floor of the house. In reality the driver was driving through desert, but I couldn’t tell. It all was happening all around, the TV only the main vortex of the harrowing plot. Hours of hysteria, manic laughing, I would have some sore fucking ribs when this was over, that’s for sure. It was a roller coaster of ludicracy, an intangible confused mental reasoning that moved too fast to keep up with. <br>
<br>
We held on to the movie with a death-grip, living it. At times I couldn’t remember what we were watching. It didn’t seem to matter; it had a continuance that kept us going, alive and excited, deliriously thrilled vicariously through a character we could somehow relate to. A hero blazing his way to infamy in a really cool car, to hell with cops, he couldn’t hear no stinkin’ sirens. Somehow we missed the mind-fuck they had set up for us: I’m pretty sure we were both having a laughing fit when he crashed the Challenger into the bulldozer road-block the cops had set up, and died. No worry. He was a hoot while he lasted.<br>
<br>
“HEY!” Ronnie bellowed, “That mother fucker crashed my goddamn car!”<br>
“Collect the insurance, we’ll get a better one!” I suggested.<br>
“The bastard is hamburger, or I’d kill his ass.”<br>
“He’s cooked on his own grill, leave that fucker alone.”<br>
<br>
We went outside after smoking another bomber and stood in the yard. It was dark outside by then, but I could make out the unmowed grass. It suddenly looked like there was miles of garden hose, all looped up and strung all over the yard, even obscuring from view the yard itself. Laughing, I told Ronnie, “Your grandmother sure has a lot of water hose.”<br>
<br>
“She sure does!” he returned, staring into it and evidently fooled by my suggestion. <br>
<br>
As I looked, the hose turned into coils of ribbon, having somewhere lost a dimension. A nearby pear tree looked like a hand, sticking out of the ground with extra fingers; it was a goddamn circus out there. We retreated into the house, to laughing fits about things we couldn’t articulate. There were many avenues, hundreds of venues, just no way to keep up, or remember them as they passed. The mind fuck would go on and on, with few respites, and usually during these we would smoke, or drink, or both. On some plateaus, I liked to drive, at night it was very serene, calming. The stereo I had in the mustang really paid off then, live concert sound during an intensely perceptive time when MY brain is attuned to it can be quite the moving experience.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1985</td><td width="90">ExpID: 41403</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 5, 2006</td><td>Views: 6,532</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=41403&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=41403&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">90 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It was July, in the summer of 2004, when I first tried acid. I had been using ecstasy, shrooms and speed for about a year, though neither at the time of this trip. The town I lived in at the time is not well known, except for its weed and summer raves, one of which is where my first acid trip began.
<br>
<br>
It was Friday afternoon, and there was a rave that my boyfriend, B and I were planning on going to that night. We knew how to get in for free, which was good as we had no spending cash, but I decided I wanted to try acid, which he had done three times before and I had never tried.
<br>
<br>
Living in a small town, however, doesn't offer many ways of making money let alone in the time frame I had. So I had resigned myself to going and having fun without drugs, unless I had an opportunity to get some for free. But while I was at home, I got a phone call from a friend, C asking if I could babysit her soon-to-be-two year old, and seeing this as a way to pass the time before the party I said sure.
<br>
<br>
I got to her mom's house around noon, said goodbye to her and proceeded to watch TV while the baby slept. By the time 1 rolled around, I was bored and the baby showed no signs of waking. She had fallen asleep just before I got there, and generally took three hour long naps which made for a boring time, so I phoned B while I searched the cupboards for food.
<br>
<br>
After I had tried several times and got no answer, the baby finally woke up so I got her ready to go out for a walk. The walk turned into a journey, and we didn't get back until 2:30. Shortly after we got back, her mother phoned to ask if I could babysit until 4, which I could. Another boring hour and a half later, C finally showed up to pick the baby and I up.
<br>
<br>
I asked C to drop me off at B's house, to see if he had any luck in making some cash, she agreed and then reached into her purse and handed me a $20 for babysitting. Awesome, thanks so much. Looking back, I'm sure she knew about the rave all along and had planned this in advance. So she dropped me off at B's house, where he was sitting outside smoking a joint.
<br>
<br>
I joined him and waved my money at him, grinning ear to ear. Suddenly, the rave was looking a lot more fun. While I had been gone, B had talked to M and S and they wanted to come to the rave also. So now we needed a ride, unless we were going to split up and hitch hike in pairs. B told me not to worry about it, he would figure something out. So I went to my house just down the road to get ready.
<br>
<br>
Had a shower, did my makeup and my hair. Being the only girl in the group, I'm always the one having to think ahead so I loaded a backpack up with a couple coats (the rave was on a beach) some chips and bottles of water. Then I socialized with my parents until 6:30, when it was time for me to go to S's house and meet up with everyone.
<br>
<br>
Got to S's house a few minutes late, but it wasn't a big deal. Everyone was just sitting around smoking. Of course, I was excited about getting acid at the rave, so I asked M and S if they too were going to join in. Neither of them had any cash, but S said he might have some inside his room. He left to check it out, and knowing M had no way of getting money I told him I'd buy him a hit, assuming the acid was only $5 and as B was going to do 2 hits.
<br>
<br>
S came out shortly after with seven dollars in change, went to his mom's car and rummaged around in there, eventually coming up with another 5 bucks. M told him I was going to buy him a hit, and S said he would do the same for M, who is well over 6 feet tall and everyone assumes bigger means more drugs are needed.
<br>
<br>
S had also asked his mother to give us a ride, and she agreed, so we all piled into the car. We left at 6:50, and the rave is way out in the middle of nowhere, 'secret location' rave that nobody is supposed to know about unless they are in the know. We didn't get there until 7:30, after being stopped by the police once and told to empty backpacks, coat pockets, etc. etc. Luckily S's mom is convinced we were good kids and being in good standing with everyone in the community, was able to convince the police we were just some innocent kids out for a drugfree, harmless good time. The weed was safe.
<br>
<br>
Mothers always seem to worry, so S's mom insisted that if we hadn't found a ride home by six in the morning she would pick us up where she dropped us off. S, seeing the wisdom in her words, agreed, we said goodbye and started our trek along a cliff to get into the rave without having to pay. That took another 15 minutes, but the party had barely started.
<br>
<br>
We immediately secured ourselves a spot against some bushes, where some logs had been placed to make seats. This was to be our 'home base' during our night, as well as the logs on the opposite side of the bush facing the ocean. Now that we were inside, M and I unpacked my backpack and stuck the coats in at the bottom, the water on top and started eating from the bags of chips I had brought.
<br>
<br>
As it got later, more and more people began to arrive, and the ones we knew would come over to see what our plans were for the night. At 8:30, one of the DJ's finally started their set. Somebody had set up these cloth things beside the stage, and projectors were aimed at them with trippy visuals and the such. It wasn't bad for an outdoor rave nobody was supposed to know about. By this point in time, there were probably 300 people milling about, with a dozen or so kids under 10, most of them dancing.
<br>
<br>
Now that people had begun to arrive, we all split up to talk to different friends, agreeing to meet back at home base at 10. B had all the money and was in charge of locating the acid. I met up with S, C and J and we headed out to the beach, where people were coming in with their boats to party. We met some people who had came from Vancouver in a houseboat, which was sort of cool. We probably talked to them for about half an hour, and then the next hour was spent shuttling between groups of people, C's truck and the beach. At 10, I left to meet the people I had arrived with.
<br>
<br>
I got back to our log to find A had joined our group, but B was nowhere to be found. M informed me he was talking to P about, as he put it, 'the hookup' which A was very interested in hearing about. M filled him in on the details, and A was impressed that S, being his age, should be hanging out with kids who actually did acid. Nobody bothered to inform him that it would be our first times.
<br>
<br>
S left to go buy a hot dog from a hippie who had set up some sort of shop thing, just as B was heading back with a forlorn expression on his face. He informed us P had lost half his hits and therefore was charging twice as much as normal-$10 a hit. As S and I were the only ones with money going towards it, he wanted to know if we were still down. S came back and discussed it with B, and although we felt bad that M would be left out of the fun, we agreed to go ahead.
<br>
<br>
B went back to P, made the deal and came back with three hits of acid on tiny pieces of paper. We all sat down on the log, and B told us he had heard if one sucked on the paper for several minutes before swallowing it, the high would be 'better'. I doubt this has any truth to it, but having never done acid before I decided to try it. So B and I sat there sucking on pieces of paper, watching people dance. It has a taste, not altogether unpleasant but unlike one I have ever experienced before or since. After five or so minutes, B said 'OK, swallow,' to which S replied 'Swallow what?' 'Your paper!' S informed us he didn't know he wasn't supposed to swallow it in the first place, and that was that.
<br>
<br>
Now 10:30 has rolled around, and its dark. There is a fire going off in a corner, and a girl wearing black clothes with flames on them is dancing around. Sometimes it seems like she is on fire, which amuses M especially. We probably watched her for ten minutes, until J came over and told us he had just snorted two hits of E and was rolling, having done three more before that. B tells him he's an idiot and to leave us alone, J gets offended and leaves.
<br>
<br>
The music is starting to get better, after the DJ's have switched, and we decide to go sit on the beach and wait for our high to kick in. We bring along our water and coats, as its getting cold. B and I cuddle up next to each other, M sits down beside me. S insists on standing beside the log. We are all watching out over the water. Some boats are driving around, and one of them has blue and green lights on the front. As I watch it, in the dark, the blue and green lights seem to detach themselves from the boat and start coming towards us. Focusing in on them, I notice dark shapes in the water which seem to be climbing up out of it.
<br>
<br>
I don't feel high, but what are these shapes? I tell myself they must be rocks jutting out of the water, but they are getting closer and closer, and the blue and green light seems to be moving further away. If I am high, everyone else must be too...except for M. So I ask him if he sees what I see.
<br>
<br>
He informs me that they are aliens coming out of the water. I tell him to shut the fuck up, and he turns his voice up into an extremely high pitch and starts making odd squealing noises at me. I keep telling him to shut up, which he will not do. Its starting to scare me, I think I actually wanted to be scared and brought it on myself. But I start to cry, and B and S start to laugh hysterically at me as Michael continues his squealing noises.
<br>
<br>
I turn back to the ocean and try to tune Michael out, but the shapes are coming out of the water! I grab B and he hugs me as S laughs even harder and finally tells me, 'Its just people that were swimming. I've been watching them the whole time, they came off that boat.' Now I'm pissed off that S knew and let me be scared, but its sort of funny too. S gets up and tells us he's going back towards the fire, B asks if he's tripping and S says no. He leaves.
<br>
<br>
A few minutes later, I feel something on my hand. I freak out and jump up, and M jumps up too. B asks us what we're flailing about, and M tells him there are bugs on the log. B jumps up, and shines a light, and sure enough bugs are EVERYWHERE. Although normally I would be disgusted, I think its sort of funny, and we move around the bush to our original log.
<br>
<br>
S and A see us and come over. S sits down beside me and gives me a look I know very well, the I-think-we've-been-ripped-off look. I shoot it back at him, and we sit together on the edge of the log huffy. Anything that takes over half an hour to work, we assume will not work at all. B notices our attitudes and asks if we thought we got ripped off. Not knowing anything about acid, we're reluctant to say no, but S does say 'It sure is taking its sweet ass time to work.' B laughs and tells us to wait for three hours, and we'll be laughing at ourselves.
<br>
<br>
Thats about the time M notices there are bugs on this log too, so we move once again. We go to the dancefloor, all the kids have vacated finally. We push and shove through the people, talking to random people we don't know, until we're out of the crowd. Looking back out over the people, I start to feel claustrophobic and say, 'lets get out of here.' Everyone agrees with me, and we head to a suspended bridge, leading to the ticket booth. S leads us onto the bridge, gets halfway across and just stops.
<br>
<br>
We all stop after him. Looking around, it seems like the bridge isn't part of this rave scene...its so calm, and peaceful, there are only the original 4 of us with no outsiders. Having been kicked out of our original two locations by bug infestations, we decide this is where we want to spend our time. Of course, the bridge being just that, soon enough people are struggling to get across and around us, which makes us feel uncomfortable. We go towards the ticket booth, where nobody bothers us. But we don't like it, so we head back to the rave and hang out for a while longer.
<br>
<br>
I finally look at my watch at 11:30. M sees me looking at my watch and asks what time it is, so I tell him. S and B overhear us talking, and we exchange glances. I don't remember any words being spoken, but it seems like we all mutually agreed to start heading back home, we felt uncomfortable where we were.
<br>
<br>
We go back across the bridge, past the ticket booth. Say goodbye to the people scattered about that we know, and start the long trek uphill towards the vehicle parking area. The walk is very vertical, and its sort of muddy even though it hasn't rained in weeks. We get about halfway up and stop, listening to the music and the occasional shout from people down below. Someone wonders aloud if we should go back, but B tells us if we start that we will be wandering back and forth all night, lets just finish what we started.
<br>
<br>
Once we begin walking again, J comes flying down the hill. He sees us and comes over, and starts laughing hysterically at us for leaving so soon. He then proceeds to tell us that he's done 8 hits, he thinks his brain is fried and he just shit all over the side of the cliff we had snuck into the rave from. He goes into rather graphic detail and makes us all laugh hysterically, and then says peace.
<br>
<br>
We make it to the parking area, finally, and rest under the power lines. There are four huge thick cables above our heads, and looking up I feel as though they will snap and fall on us, there being one wire for each of us. S feels the same way, and we are leery about being under them but feel moving would be cheating somehow. The wires hum and comfort us. I'm exhausted and want to sit down, but nobody will let me. Nobody is coming, and B is telling us maybe we should go back after all, it doesn't look like we'll get a ride anytime soon.
<br>
<br>
Just as he finishes saying that, firecrackers are set off beside a truck. Somebody screams up the hill not to light firecrackers, we don't want to burn the rave down and kill everybody. Two doors slam, the truck starts up and heads our way. It stops just before us, and G pops his head out to ask if we need a ride. We say sure, but he tells us we have to sit in the back of the truck as its only a 3 seater and J and A are already in the front seats.
<br>
<br>
We all pile into the back of the truck, and start our long trek back. Its ten to twelve. Its really fun, to be in the back of his truck out in the wide open. G drives fast, and we skid around a few corners. I am watching S, and around one particularly dangerous corner I see his mouth go open wide. I start to laugh, but then realize we could have flipped the truck and the four of us would have been dead. It sobers me up, but after a few minutes doesn't seem real.
<br>
<br>
G lives a few miles away from our houses, so he drops us off at his place at 12:15. He offers to let us stay at his place, but we say we want to go home. That seems to be the most important thing right now, GOING HOME. He apologizes for not driving us home, but he too wants to be in his own bed, and we don't mind. Start walking down the road.
<br>
<br>
We probably walked for ten minutes before the first car went by, and we didn't bother to try and hitch a ride. We wanted to walk the whole way home ourselves, which would be exhausting normally but we didn't even think about it. We came to this stretch of road, where one side had been clearcutted except for a single tree. As we walked by, I stared at the tree. It looked like it was spiralling upwards, and I could clearly see something climbing it. M noticed me staring at something, asked me what and I said the tree was tripping me out. M stared as we walked along, noticed it too, and pointed it out to S and B.
<br>
<br>
After we passed the spiralling monkey tree, as we named it, we came to a yard where a banana tree was growing over the fence. I told S to grab me a leaf, which he did. By this point he was wearing my backpack, so he stuck it between the backpack and his back and ran down the road hollering like an Indian. We laughed hysterically as he ran back and forth until we got to a corner. As we walked under the third streetlight we came to (most of the road doesn't have lights) it seemed to turn blue, and then went out completely. B told us to get out from under the light before we got cancer, so we ran away from the evil light.
<br>
<br>
Around this corner is a hill, and at the bottom of the hill lays a store with a pop machine out front. We had exhausted our water supply sometime before and needed a pop, but had no change left. S said he had heard if someone unplugged a machine and plug it back in it gives them a free pop, so the three boys decided to try that. I was somehow sure it wouldn't work, and so walked off by myself heading back home. Once I got to a corner though I stopped, because I didn't want to be out of their sight.
<br>
<br>
I had been waiting a few minutes when M came running out towards me, holding a pop in his hand. He gave me the bottle and I took a huge swig, and then asked how he got it. He stuck his hand up and wiggled his fingers and I laughed. S and B came running out with another bottle of pop, both were Sprite, and we started walking chugging our two bottles. By the time we got to the preschool, which is only a three minute walk away, the pop was gone.
<br>
<br>
I wanted to go play on the preschool equipment, but nobody else would join me so we continued. Past the firehall, two minutes after the preschool is a bridge, and then a restaurant which at the time was just being built. We got to the restaurant, and there was a huge pile of bricks sitting outside of the building. We stop and stare at the bricks. B says, 'maybe we should steal those bricks.' We were all thinking the same thing, but once he voiced it aloud we realized how ridiculous that would be.
<br>
<br>
'Why would you want to take those bricks? The police station is right across the street!' I tell him. He shrugs. 'I dunno. It seemed like a good idea at the time.' S laughs at him, calls him an idiot and goes skipping along the road, singing Metallica. We pass the cop shop and a schoolbus, and a few empty buildings but feel no need to steal or defile them in any way.
<br>
<br>
There's another steep hill coming up, and S is already at the top when we are just a third of the way up. S disappears, but then comes racing back to ask B how he would get all those bricks up this steep hill. B pretends not to hear him, and the three of us make it up the hill finally. S is nowhere to be seen, so we keep walking until we get to the community hall.
<br>
<br>
As we finally get there, M wonders aloud where S is. We hear S then, at the tennis courts, climbing the fence. M goes to get him. A few minutes later, all is quiet but nobody is reappearing. B and I go to investigate, and find them standing outside of the clinic with huge smiles on their faces. I know they want to break into the clinic and steal the pills and I agree. B's already took part in that same activity several times and tells us firmly no. Three against one, we whine at him but we know we wouldn't do it anyways.
<br>
<br>
Start walking down Pine Street, towards the trail that leads to S's house. As we are walking, a streetlight at the end of the road is also flickering a strange bluish hue. As we get to it, it goes out also. We take this opportunity to run under it, remembering the last 'evil blue light' we came across, and now we are in the trail. Somehow we've lost all lighters and flashlights we had, so we take this in the dark.
<br>
<br>
B tells us to follow him and promptly walks into a tree. M, S and I walk around him and get out safely, but B is still in there tweaking. I get impatient and yell at him to get out, he yells back that he's taking a piss. As we are standing outside of S's driveway, I ask him what he's doing. He doesn't know, but wonders if he can hang out with us. Of course he can, I tell him, and M replies he is going home to bed. We say alright, we'll walk you home. Start walking, get to the corner and B comes flying out of the trail yelling for us to wait up. We don't.
<br>
<br>
Walking up O street, M's house is on the corner of C street and O street. C street is where B and I both live. M is acting really grumpy, but S and I chalk it up to the fact that we are all high on acid and he is straight. Say goodbye to M at his driveway, and B finally catches up and grabs my hand like I'm a little kid. He leads us to his house, where luckily his dad is gone for the night. He lets us in, nobody is home. We go into the kitchen, B says he has to check something and disappears into the bathroom.
<br>
<br>
I grab a bottle and fill it up with water, bring it to S and fill up another for myself. We sit down at the table facing each other, drinking water. Bill blows his nose from in the bathroom, and we start laughing hysterically and spew water all over the carpet. Bill comes out and sees us laughing like that, looks at the clock. Its 1:15. 'I told you guys you'd be laughing at yourselves in three hours,' he gloated.
<br>
<br>
B disappears. S is staring at a wall. I wait for him to say something to me, but he is entranced. I finally ask him whats up, and he tells me to look at the picture. So I do. The picture is of a girl standing in the middle of a field of poppies. The poppies are spinning and breathing, and the girl is dancing. Its really intense, and S and I both simultaneously get up to see the picture closer. We stand there together until we hear B yelling, 'get up here!' from upstairs. Its 1:23 and we go upstairs, into the dark. I get up first, and shout 'Where are you?' There are no lights anywhere. S comes up and flicks a lighter he found downstairs, and we make our way to D's room.
<br>
<br>
A blue light is coming out from under the door, and we want to know what it is. Open the door, and B is sitting on the couch, with the TV on. We're supposed to watch a movie, he tells us. So we all kneel down and look for movies. S says he wants to watch Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, I want to watch Pink Floyd's The Wall. B listens to us bicker for several minutes, then pops a movie in. S and I shut up and sit down, pull a blanket over ourselves. The movie comes on, its porn. S and I get pissed off and yell at B that we don't want to watch this gay shit, and we all argue over what to watch once again.
<br>
<br>
B finally gets pissed off at the way things are turning out and screams at us that if we are going to fight we can just watch blue. So we watch the blue TV screen for a long time. It doesn't do anything. S is finally disgusted with B's lack of letting us watch anything, and says he is leaving. B says fine like he is mad at him. I tell S we'll walk him home, S says ok. B says he isn't walking S anywhere and I can just stay there with him, cuz S will be ok. I say no, this is his first time on acid he doesn't need to be wandering around by himself. S and I leave.
<br>
<br>
Once halfway down the driveway, I realize I forgot my coat. Go back inside to get it and B grabs me, but I push him away and say I need my coat. I grab it and run back out the door to S and B yells at me that if I am going to run away and fuck S I can stay away. S laughs at that, and we go off to his place. I walk S to his corner and say goodbye, and as I am walking up the hill I see someone. For some reason I think its M, but it is B coming to walk me back to his place.
<br>
<br>
We go inside and watch more blue. Its nice to just sit there on the couch with him, and not have to talk, just enjoy what is going on. At three, we finally decide to go to bed. B no longer has a room in this house and lives at mine, but we don't want to go there so we sleep in his sister's room.
<br>
<br>
K's room has pictures everywhere, and I am amazed by them. I spend the next three hours wandering around her room, looking at everything. B is just lying in bed, I don't think he's having a good trip but I don't care about him for once. I finally go and sit with him when the sun starts to rise. He tells me he doesn't feel good, so I rub his back. For some reason, I can tell through the way his back feels how he is feeling. We lay in bed together. I'm not really high anymore, but I can't fall asleep. B is pissed off that he hasn't slept all night, he keeps on yelling about it.
<br>
<br>
Usually I don't handle staying up all night that well, but this time I know I just have to stay calm so B can get through it, that is all that matters. He keeps on saying his dad will be home soon and he can't be in the house, FUCK! That is how he says it. Somehow we fall asleep, around 7. Wake up at 9, and his dad is home so we know we are going to get in shit. B goes downstairs and talks to his dad, comes upstairs and gets me up and ready to go to my place. He says he'll be there shortly.
<br>
<br>
I go home and have a shower so I feel better. Go downstairs and get changed into PJ's, then back upstairs to get some orange juice. I sit on the couch and watch The Today Show with my parents. They ask me how the rave was, I say fine. How'd you get there, how'd you get back, where'd you stay, when did you get there. I answer all the questions in a neutral tone, normally I'd get angry at them.
<br>
<br>
As I'm sitting on the couch, I feel detached from myself. I can feel, not see myself talking to my parents like I am an outsider, watching a different family's morning. Its a different perspective, and I have this sort of detached feeling for the rest of the day. Even now to this day, over a year after the fact I still have the ability to put stuff aside and look at it like its not happening to me, which never ceases to amaze me and I give full credit to acid. Its definitely remarkable.
<br>
<br>
On a different note, a few days after this adventure I talked to S about what he did after getting home. He said he got home and went to the bathroom, and as he was standing there the tiles and walls appeared to be moving around him. This disturbed him and he went to bed right after, and fell asleep immediately. A few hours later, around 4, he woke up went to the bathroom and puked. I've never heard of this happening to anyone else, but it happened to him which was strange I thought, and he never mentioned anything other than that it was fun and he'd try it again sometime, but apparently it didn't have the same effect on him as it did me.
<br>
<br>
For me, it was an awesome experience that I'm glad I had.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2004</td><td width="90">ExpID: 47273</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 9, 2006</td><td>Views: 10,678</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=47273&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=47273&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Police / Customs (60), LSD (2) : Rave / Dance Event (18), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 shots</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Hard</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 tablets</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/mdma/">MDMA</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 glasses</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Beer/Wine</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 bowls</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 drops</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">170 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Okay this is a long one. I'll start off by saying that I'm very experienced in the use of LSD among many other drugs. I'm 30 and I started experimenting with drugs in the late 80's. By the time I was 14 I had been smoking weed, eating acid and mushrooms, and snorting coke a few times a month. My drug of choice had always been LSD. During my 4 years of the military (USMC) I ate lots of LSD. There were times when I'd eat 10-20 hits all at once and would trip for a whole weekend. I did it mainly because it was cheaper than other drugs and it apparently rarely showed up in a urinalysis.
<br>
<br>
Anyways, I've had many bad trips in the past that were like God tapping me on the shoulder telling me I need to stop but I ignored the suggestions time and time again. This time was a punch in the face in comparison. I made fun of anyone who said they had an experience like this thinking they were just 'weak-minded' or already crazy. Little did I know, I was about to experience my own horrifying and near death experience. This is where I saw an image of God turning his back on me and letting one of Satan's demons have his way with me for a while to teach me a lesson that I apparently needed.
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<br>
It was 12-31-2004. I went to a club with my best friends and had a few RedBull Vodkas and a roll (mdma). I had the most wonderful time. I heard great music, danced my ass off, met a beautiful girl and went home with her. We had a great time and never went to sleep that night. The next morning I went over to my best friend's (we'll call him A) house to continue celebrating the New Year while mixing records and stuff. My other best friend (we'll call him P) came over with some wine. We smoked a couple bowls and drank a couple glasses of wine. Then I ate my 2nd pill. This was around 10am. We were contemplating how perfect our New Year's Eve went and were looking forward to our New Year's Day. Someone suggested we eat acid. I forgot that I had a vial I brought over from San Diego a couple months prior. P had grabbed it for me when he grabbed the wine.
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<br>
Now I had several friends (including P) who had taken this acid a couple months prior and said it was very mild. They each took 4 hits but they were taking 1 or 2 hits at a time. I had the vial in the freezer the whole time it was in my possession. I had taken the vial out of the freezer and brought it with me when I moved to Colorado. <!--I'm guessing that the condensation that seaped through the bottle must have removed some of the water in it leaving the remaining contents of the vile to be alot more potent which I failed to consider.-->
<br>
<br>
So, let's get back to the scene. I hadn't taken this particular acid but based on the reaction of my friend's who'd taken it before I figured it wasn't that strong so I ate 4 drops at once which was not uncommon to me in years past. A and P ate 3 drops. We all had been feeling great from partying the night before and were looking forward to an excellent trip. Now normally someone who eats acid might end up partying all night long but this was the first time I'd partied all night long and then decided to eat acid. So, the factors contributing to my experience with this acid were sleep deprivation, dehydration, malnourishment (hadn't eaten in almost 24hrs), ecstacy, weed, vodka and wine.
<br>
<br>
The acid hit me 10 minutes into it which seemed unusually fast. This was about 11am. It came on extremely stronger than usual. The good feelings I had from everything else I was on went away and things were feeling less and less enjoyable as time went on. The visuals were uncontrollably vivid and amazing but no more than some other intense trips I'd had. I started to get sick to my stomach so I went and puked in the bathroom but had nothing to puke out. Shortly after, P puked. I continued my vomiting with nothing coming out. I started to get tired from my stomach muscles contracting for about a half hour. By 11:30am I was tripping extremely hard but was feeling like I needed to take a nap which was really unusual for me. A and P kept asking if I was alright. I said 'Yeah, I just need to rest.'
<br>
<br>
So I went to sleep (so I thought) and had the craziest nightmare of a shadow demon trying to take over my body and making me speak a different language that I could understand at the time. I was dreaming that my best friends were trying to beat me and/or rape me. I was partially blind the whole time. I could only see things in my peripheral vision. It was horrifying. I kept trying to get up and run for my life while inside A's apartment. I felt like they were holding me down and were trying to take my clothes off. I was constantly fighting this shadow demon trying to take back my own body. Sometimes I'd succeed and was able to see and understand what my friends were saying temporarily and then the demon would pull me right back out of my body. I would look down at myself watching me scream and see my body contort in weird positions. I kept screaming 'WHAT'S HAPPENING!!!', 'PLEASE MAKE IT STOOOPPP!!!' and 'SOMEBODY HELP MEEE!!!' as loud as I could over and over again thinking no one could help me or hear me and that I was left alone to deal with this demon and these two individuals who resembled my best friends that were trying to do unspeakable things to me.
<br>
<br>
So I finally awoke from that horrible nightmare. I was laying down in a bright unfamiliar room. A blurry vision of a woman approached me and I asked 'What happened?' The nurse replied 'You're in the hospital.' It was late afternoon the next day. My forehead was hurting but I couldn't move. My arms and legs were strapped down to the hospital bed. She unstrapped me and I reached to feel my head and it was swollen. She gave me a mirror and I could barely recognize myself. I looked like sloth from 'Goonies'. Apparently throughout the whole nightmare I was fighting and thrashing about. I ran into the corner of a metal beam in the apartment trying to get away from whatever was trying to harm me and I cracked my skull causing my head to swell. There were numerous slices and puncture wounds up and down my arms, legs, and shoulders from all the broken glass caused by my actions. The nurse said 'I knew you weren't really a violent person.' I didn't realize that I had done anything. She said I was screaming, cursing, and trying to fight the cops and paramedics the whole time.
<br>
<br>
She removed the IV's and the catheter from my penis which was very uncomfortable. My wrists were in pain and cut up from trying to break free from the handcuffs. I was naked because I'd ripped my shirt off with one hand and the medics had to cut my jeans off of me for the IV's and stuff. I had completely destroyed A's apartment. There were holes in the walls from my head and fists. I broke the sliding glass door and a closet door by running right through them. I tried to jump off the balcony from the 2nd floor but didn't succeed. A's records and dj equipment were scattered everywhere and all his drinking glasses were broken from me falling and thrashing around on top of them. They told me that my eyes were the opposite of being dilated. He told me my pupils were like pin needles and almost non-existant. He said I had a blank stare with the look of extreme fright the whole time as if my soul was missing from my body. They said at times I'd speak odd jibberish that made no sense to them and my voice was so different that they couldn't believe it was me they were witnessing during this whole ordeal. P mentioned my body was maneuvering in awkward ways like I was trying to bend backwards to break my own spine or something. It freaked the shit out of both of them so much they finally decided to call 911. Thank God.
<br>
<br>
I thought I knew it all about LSD. It doesn't matter if you're the least or the most experienced person with this drug. We're all susceptible to horrible consequences. I was in a very comfortable and familiar setting with two of my best friends in the world. I no longer do that drug and have a $15,000 medical bill for 18hrs in the emergency room. I've got permanent scars all over my body and bad memories that will never go away.
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<br>
<br>
I wish I could accurately describe what I went through but no words exist that can do that. Please be careful.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 46911</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: May 13, 2006</td><td>Views: 14,652</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=46911&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=46911&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Difficult Experiences (5), Multi-Day Experience (13), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Hospital (36)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis - Hash</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(tar / resin)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 3:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">174 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
For the longest time I've been reading about LSD and its effects. It interested me and kind of scared me at the same time. Finally after some time a friend of mine got me a hit, my trip wasn't planned for that day, I knew we are about to get a hit and I was ready to do it very soon.
<br>
<br>
Friday night I gave him a visit. I thought we are about to just smoke, but he surprised me and gave me a small hit of acid. I thought 'what the hell' and took one 1/2 of the hit.
<br>
<br>
1:00 A.M - I kept the hit for a long time on my tongue, just sucking on it. We were listening to some techno and smoked some hash to just waste some time till the acid kicks in. it had a bitter taste, not unbearable though.
<br>
<br>
2:15 A.M - still nothing. I was just waiting and wondering when it will kick in. and the past hour I started feeling more energized.
<br>
<br>
3:00 A.M - no visuals. Still energized, feeling stiff all over my body, especially in the back and neck area, and later on the back of my head. Which is the visual part of the brain. I could really feel parts of my brain opening up and waking up to life.
<br>
Felt warm all over, like fever. Giggling and laughing, and more ambition to talk.
<br>
<br>
4:00 A.M - still no visuals. It was very hard to spot any effects. Still stiff. I had a feeling like something is cooking inside me and ready to just EXPLODE outside any second. Around 4:20 A.M I could notice that thoughts were running around my head more and more. I mostly thought about how I should let go and let the trip start, and I was concerned what if nothing will happen. We decided I should take the other 1/2 because I don’t feel anything yet. My body was not stiff anymore, and now instead of that I had some kind of a new feeling all over. Objects felt different. In the corner of my eyes I could see bright lights. My head just did not feel the same. At this point I was sure I’m tripping. The visuals started to kick in. I was looking at the wall while the room was dark, it had glowing start stickers all over it, they were moving around the wall, looking kind of alive. When I looked at his cat the shapes on her were moving randomly into other shapes and colors, the whole room seem to be somehow alive and breathing. Talking, standing and moving felt weird.
<br>
<br>
5:25am - Still no strong visuals. I was more aware to the whole body sensation. I knew that once it will be morning I will trip harder, and the thought of watching the sunshine right on the peak of the trip got me very exited. My friend called a cab for me and I was on my way home. In the cab I was very talkative and tried to open conversation with the driver, but he did not respond, which made me wonder if I was talking at all. I kept looking out side at the trails from the side of the car, and the street lights that were very strong and a bit colorful. He dropped me near my house, and I walked from there to the woody area near my house. It was still dark, around 5:30am. I set on a bench and just looked around, amazed to notice things are not as usual. The trees seemed to be alive, looking at me and move as I breathe. Slowly I could notice more and more visuals, such faces in the trees, eyes all over the branches etc. I sent myself a text message to my cellphone 'you got to let gogog0g0g0g0g0g0g0.....'. From that point I just tried to relax and watch the new world around me. Listening to the night sounds and I could still hear the music from earlier. I entered into a very weird thought that this is the best day of my life.
<br>
<br>
5:54 A.M -The night started to fade away, and the sky slowly turned from endless black to deep blue. The moon was between the trees looking alive and smiling. The sky turned brighter, and the birds were all waking up, singing and flying around, leaving trails in the air. I moved deeper into the woods to another bench were I had a better view at the sky. First there were very heavy rain clouds, and it was pretty cold, though I didn't felt cold at all. The clouds were moving as I was breathing. Changing into new forms and shapes and swirling in the winds. I could notice colors and small shapes in the light of the clouds. I felt like I need to think how to improve my life, and how to fix my problems. I snapped out of the thoughts and saw few crows flying around leaving trails behind. I thought I heard one of them call my name, and looked back, as I heard the crows laugh at me.
<br>
<br>
I stood up and walked away to a spot I usually like to relax at. On my way there I could hear some kind of noises coming from a small tree. It sounded like small pixies talking to each other, and I looked for them finding nothing. I got to my spot; it’s a tree that is shaped oval, and very comfortable to sit on. As I sat on the tree I could feel it breathing, and felt very protected and secure. The tree moved with the wind, and felt like it was hugging me, like it was trying to say to me that everything is OK, and it will be alright. It was hugging me in a way nothing human ever did. I was sitting there for a while, looking at the stones on the ground changing shapes and twist.
<br>
<br>
7:00 A.M - I walked back to my house, and I noticed I’m not the only one out side. There were at least 20 people walking in the street. I didn't know what to do and started laughing, trying to stop myself from drawing attention as people look at me. I walked faster and entered my house. My stomach felt acidic and hurt a bit, so I ate a slice of bread, looking outside the kitchen's window and see the flowers and plants calling me to go outside and watch them. I walked outside and could hear the flowers talking to each other but I didn't understand what they were saying.
<br>
<br>
I walked back inside, and went into my room. When I sat on the chair I could feel again like was sitting on the same tree, in the middle of the woods which felt very real.
<br>
<br>
I let both of my dogs into my room, and they looked at me like they knew I was tripping. I put on some music, and watched the clouds changing into people who were swimming in the sky. I went and looked at the mirror, my face was changing. First the eyes, moving to different directions, then my mouth and nose, and my whole face mixed up, blinked, and it was normal again. I smoked some more hashish.
<br>
<br>
The trip lasted for more than 13 hours. I went to sleep, and woke up few hours later, it felt like it was only few min of sleep, and I did not remember any of the dreams. It was a very nice trip, which changed my life for the good. It fixed a lot of mixed thoughts and feelings I had for a long time, and I can't wait to do it again. I was a bit disappointed that I didn't have very strong visuals, and it took so long to kick in. I guess it was because I took only 1/2 and another 1/2 few hours later. Next I will take a whole hit.
<br>
<br>
LSD changed my life.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2004</td><td width="90">ExpID: 32903</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 11, 2006</td><td>Views: 7,518</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=32903&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=32903&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Nature / Outdoors (23), Glowing Experiences (4)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">80 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/fluoxetine/">Pharms - Fluoxetine</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 bowl</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">65 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
We were planning on taking the Acid on Saturday night. I was more than excited to do it. My friend R wanted to do it with me and our boyfriends. It worked out so that we could get it for Friday night and be able to go to N's house (R’s BF) and his parents weren't going to be home for the night. I had to work until 8:30pm and they were there to pick me up as soon as I got off. At work I lazed around stoned, making sure I stayed in a good mood. The last time I did a hallucinogenic drug for the second time (Mushrooms) I had a really bad trip. I ended up taking around eight grams and thought my world was coming to an end. It was horrible, I cried for four hours straight.
<br>
<br>
So anyways, I was totally stoked and so was my good friend, R. We wanted to do it together and have good talks and a sweet trip. I wanted to do it with her and was stoked I didn't have to wait another day to try out Acid and get messed up. I was sure I could handle drugs and that I'd have a really good trip. We'd go for a walk and I'd realize so much about our world and realize my beliefs and more about the person I am... But nope, we ended up not even going outside but staying in N’s house the entire night. N is one of my boyfriend's best friends and one of my friends as well. Yah, I'm sure it could have been a lot of fun if the circumstances all worked out, but they didn't. My friend R wasn't feeling the hit at all. We had taken them as soon as we got into N's house and cut them apart. N took 2, my BF took 2, I took 1.5, and R took 1. (Not only taking the one and half hits alone but I am also on anti-depressants and pills for my eating disorders; 80mg dosage a day of Fluxotine).
<br>
<br>
The vibe I felt with R for some reason to me, wasn't so positive. It felt weird and she wasn't high when we all were beginning to be. We went outside to the smoke room and started smoking a bowl out of N's bong and then I went with R because she wanted someone to come with her to get her cds out of her car. When I ran outside it felt amazing and refreshing. I ran back in to get the last hits off the bong and then we grabbed some Buds from the fridge and went back into the living room. We drank beer and listened to NIN. I took my last half hit of Acid. I was loving it. I was turned-on and experiencing so many open and closed eye visuals. They were rainbow colored like the eye for Tool and they were streaking across my vision to the beat of the music when my eyes were open and they were so intricate when I shut them. They were in a kaleidoscope pattern that slowly rotated and swirled, faded and expanded. I sat on the floor away from my BF alone on one couch and R and N together on the other. I was closing my eyes and sharing with them all the things I was picturing. I began to feel like they didn't care and didn't understand what I was experiences. Whether they really did or not, that was how I was feeling.
<br>
<br>
I felt like they were looking at me as if I were a freak or something. I didn't like it at all. From then on I don’t really remember details. Thinking of it now I realized it was then that I went psychotic and starting raging, crying, and loosing it. No one could help me. They couldn't convince me that it was the Acid and I was only having a bad trip. I should have listened to them right away when they said to not listen to the voices in my head that were thinking all the negative thoughts. The next three to four hours were a blur. I remember being in the living room and then in the spare bedroom feeling so mad, scared, and upset. In the bathroom I sort of came too and they could talk to me for once. They kept saying that they would tell me what I did and what had happened tomorrow.
<br>
<br>
They wanted it to wear off first because I was unable to communicate with. Then I started to clue in. I pieced just enough together to realize that something bad had happened because of me that night. I had a bad trip and I ‘ruined all their nights’ so-to-speak because I scared them and frustrated them beyond the point of imagination because I kept forgetting and wouldn't listen at all. Once it hit me that I wrecked all of our nights that could have been fun and that I had SUCH high hopes for, didn't work out at all because of me, I broke down crying hysterically. I ran down the stairs into the rec room area and my BF came down after me. I kept remembering and then forgetting what I had done that was so horrible in my eyes. I was starting to slip in and out of my Acid trip on my comedown. I went back upstairs and read 1:33am on the clock in the kitchen and kept re-remembering the bad news and crying all over again. Then I started to see how bummed out everyone was because of my bad trip and having to deal with me and it made me even more upset.
<br>
<br>
I started to be able to figure more about how it happened once N asked me more questions and it forced me to think. I realized that when I talked to each of them I thought that the words being said in my head were their real thoughts in their head and I could hear them. Then once I was done talking to them it felt like a wave on information like I had blinked and read their minds. My trip was full of terrible paranoid thoughts that drove me insane. It was a hard, struggling battle to finally piece it all together, but it was worth it. I cried for so long, it was a depressing and brutal awakening. I thought that they were waiting until I was sober and then bringing me to my mom to take me to a mental institution or to a doctor right away. I thought this because I had told them that the reason why I was unsustainable and freaking out was because the Acid reacted negatively with something in my personality inside my brain, chemically... or something… It didn’t even really make sense to me or to them; we were all sooo messed up. I had totally forgotten that they were just as messed up as I was.
<br>
<br>
I was expecting them to be able to help me like I've had a sober person be there for me in the past. I cried so much trying to work it all out aloud with them, it was horrible. I was so messed up that they figured that the only way that they could get it through to me and tell me what happened would be by drawing it with pencil crayons and paper. Then they asked me if I wanted to draw and color... I felt soo belittled and it felt extremely condescending. That made me even angrier. I felt such a negative vibe with R all night for some reason it was so strange. I hated it. I just wanted her to have a good trip and I thought that we'd be able to become closer after it or something silly like that. Stupid reason hey, using drugs to expand a friendship... I didn't look at it that way, but that was pointed out to me after. Anyway before I go off topic some more... I washed my face and my make-up off because it ran so much while I cried and it was burning my eyes. I looked horrribbblle...I’ve always hated looking in the mirror when I’m on drugs because I never look like myself and it’s scary.
<br>
<br>
R and I talked and she helped me out a lot. I felt like I could trust her and she understood what I was trying to explain. But still the terms with me and my BF weren’t the best. N was asking me questions and R was trying to help but it put me in an even worse mood. I hated what was happening. I just wanted them to understand and not look at me the way that I felt they were. I felt like they were making fun of me and laughing at me. They said that they were because it got so annoying after a while that they just sort of had to laugh it off. It was becoming too ridiculous I guess. I just needed help.
<br>
<br>
I blamed the Acid for triggering my personality defect and it making me go ‘crazy’. Once I came too I slipped back in and out of it. I forgot so easily and it hurt so much to remember again. I felt like it was bad news of a death or something, that's how harsh I was taking it each time I remembered again. I had created a world of chaos and hell and I lived it out that night. I felt completely exposed to the world. I was extremely embarrassed even though they are all so close to me. I thought that the voices in my head were the actual thoughts of my friends and they were telling me harsh stuff and that it was all true. I felt embarrassed about losing it on them, and at the same time so afraid of them.
<br>
<br>
I had lost my ego entirely. I was apologizing and I was scared and worried at the same time. I thought that they were going to put me in a crazy place and I wouldn't get to be with my BF anymore, of whom I love soooo much!! That was hurting me way to much. I was feeling so much pain. It was by far the worst trip ever imaginable. It beats my Mushroom trip because I had my BF there to comfort me and he wasn't as messed up as I was. I learned from my trip that no matter how experienced a person thinks they are with drugs; sometimes people just have bad trips. It happens to all of us, even the best of us. I realized that I can’t control hallucinogenic drugs very well and that I have far too many paranoid thoughts. So I think I’ll just stick to MDMA, drinking alcohol, and smoking weed for my good times!<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 41671</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 16, 2006</td><td>Views: 15,732</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=41671&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=41671&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Combinations (3), Bad Trips (6), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Let me begin by saying that I have been put in a mental hospital three times in the past year for psychosis and depression. It is believed that my psychosis was triggered (not caused) by the use of LSD, the details of which I will not go into. After being prescribed with a myriad of medications with little help, and accompanying serious side effects (anti-psychotics will numb your life) I was becoming very fed up with the doctor's half-assed attempts to make me better. <br>
<br>
I had read some about LSD being used half a century ago to cure certain mental illnesses, one of them being depression. I had stopped taking my anti-psychotic secretly less than a week before and was beginning to taper off of my anti-depressant, also secretly. Since the depression was the principle enemy to my well being, I decided to give LSD a try, by myself, to defeat it, despite how it might affect my psychosis. <br>
<br>
It is usually quite difficult to procure acid where I live, but I unexpectedly made a new contact and obtained four hits by the end of the day. Looking back, this was Divine Providence. I was on my way home at about 1:00 a.m. and decided that, in order to time my trip so that I would not be tripping very far into the next day, I needed to do it then, so I took the four hits, roughly one half hour before I would be home. I had taken to doing pre-trip auto-hypnosis to ensure a good trip for my past few trips, <span class="erowid-caution">[Erowid Note:
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. <a href="/chemicals/show_image.php?i=dmt/dmt_contraindications1.gif">Don't do it!</a>]</span> but since this is awfully difficult to do while driving, I decided to forego it. My mindset was rather typical of that time of my life and was permeated by a mild to moderate sadness, apathy and profound sense of being alone even when amongst close friends. <br>
<br>
On a side note, I live with my parents and was 17 at the time. My parents knew of my previous drug use because of my hospitalization, but I had convinced them that this was a thing of the past. <br>
<br>
As I approached my neighborhood, I became increasingly aware of the growing intensity; within five minutes of first feeling the effects of the drug, I was seriously beginning to trip. I pulled into my neighborhood (thankfully, as it was becoming very difficult to drive) and stopped to talk to my gate guard (I live on a heavily wooded golf course, which makes for some rather interesting trips). Thankfully it was T., the young gateguard who has no problem with drugs. I told him after a moment of chit-chat that I was tripping and that I needed to get home, but if he saw me on the course that night to not worry. So, I pulled into the driveway and walked in the door, coming face to face with my mother in a well-lit area. Fortunately, I act weird enough normally so that tripping around my parents is relatively easy if made short, but I knew that my eyes were very dilated and the look on my face was one of fear, so I came close to panicking. Fortunately, I was able to keep the conversation very short, with few questions and only a little bit of evident confusion on my part (which isn't all that out of the ordinary for me). <br>
<br>
As I walked up to my room, my thoughts were of how to make sure I don't have to interact with my parents anymore that night. I decided on taking a nice long bath, which had always been soothing while tripping in the past. I got into the tub and tried to relax, as I was becoming very anxious about the rapidly accelerating intensity. The most LSD I had consumed before was two hits at a time, and I was alone then also. Apparently this new acid was of remarkable strength because I was quickly having extremely intense visual hallucinations and lack of physical coordination--much more so than on two hits, even taking into account doubling the dose. <br>
<br>
My bathtub is feaux-marble, which has lots of swirling patterns and such, so the there was much visual fodder for the trip. After what seemed like half an hour of this (probably more like 5 minutes), I was on the verge of panicking, so I decided the best route was to go to my room and go to turn off the lights and just lay in bed and listen to music. So, I got out of the tub, and started to dress. Quickly realizing that this was going to take a great deal of effort and time, I stopped after getting my boxers on. <br>
<br>
Normally I plan my trips music-wise, as listening to music is my favorite thing to do while tripping. I had planned an extensive list starting with Bach's Well Tempered Clavier and peaking with Rachmaninoff and Prokofieff Piano Concertos. As I got into my room I quickly realized that to do all this, I would first have to find the list, then find the CD's, then find the cases to the cd's already in the changer, and then switch them out. Way too difficult, so I just turned on whatever was in there and turned off the lights to go to bed. <br>
<br>
I had had audio hallucinations before but they had always been familiar sounds: applause, laughter, talking, hearts beating, car horns, etc. These hallucinations were sounds which did not even faintly resemble any sound I had heard before. In addition to that I had closed eye visuals of creatures and scenes likely induced by reading too much H. P. Lovecraft, though they were not scary in any way other than their intensity. The thing that worried me most though, was the thought processes I was having. I was quickly losing the ability to think about anything in way that would possibly warrant the term 'thinking'. I did not know what to think about human relationships, especially that of parent-child, specifically my parents and I. I spent God-knows-how-long trying to figure out what I might say if my parents came into my room and 'woke me up'. It was so intense that I panicked and grabbed a double dose of anti-psychotic to help fight the trip. <br>
<br>
Looking back, I have no way of telling what this did to the trip. The madness proceeded on for awhile and I completely lost track of time. <br>
<br>
I sat up in bed after about three hours (judging by which CD was on) with a terrifying revelation. I realized that tripping was a trap that had been set for me and, once released, I was the only person left on earth and I would be tripping until I died. This was an incredibly terrible feeling and it was accompanied by an intense rush of what I think must have been adrenaline. On top of that, the rush seemed to be screaming at me in a human voice, though I could still clearly hear the music. Although I was the last person on earth, the other's bodies were still here but were merely hallucinations meant to fool me into thinking that the trap wasn't real. <br>
<br>
I wallowed for a few fleeting moments in utter despair, but quickly decided that although it was a terrible fate, the way to go was to make the best of it, and go outside and enjoy myself. So I precariously marched downstairs and straight out the back door. <br>
<br>
I walked out towards the golf course and on the way contemplated the necessity of clothes in my unprecedented situation. I determined that they were pointless, so I took them off. Of course by them, I actually just mean my boxers. As I reached the golf course I realized that my thoughts about making the best of the situation stopped at going outside; I was very confused about how one goes about enjoying oneself naked and tripping very hard on a golf course in the middle of night. So, I did the first thing that came to my mind--I did a slow somersault on the still-moist-from-rain grass. I then proceeded to jump in a way that seemed to be dancing. I had run out of ideas at that point and then I started to have thoughts of what I should do while tripping and it occurred to me that I could get away with anything, even rape if I wanted. <br>
<br>
I quickly dismissed this idea for several reasons. <br>
1) Even if the people weren’t real, I still knew it was wrong <br>
2) I know from experience that sexual activity while tripping hard is damn near impossible <br>
3) I don't know more than three or four people in my neighborhood, and two are female and neither of them are attractive or under 40 and lastly <br>
4) some corner of my brain that wasn't tripping was screaming at me that this would be a VERY BAD IDEA, seeing as how I'm not cool with prison and all... I then decided to go for a walk down my street (which is always very moving in a slightly spiritual, completely intangible sort of way). <br>
<br>
I am now walking, stark naked, down my street at somewhere around 4:00 am. The intensity and severity of the trip, perceived trap included, was still building, so I decided to take a short rest and lay down. That’s when a car pulls up. I look up, and its T., the gateguard! I know he's just a hallucination, but I decide not to let him know that I know, and just play along. So after the initial astonished remarks, 'I thought your were going to walk the trails...How many did you take again? Do you know you're laying in the middle of the street naked?' And some arguing, he got me to get into his car. <br>
<br>
We talked for a while as he drove to my house about how he never did the whole 'naked tripping' thing and how it’s a good thing that nobody looked out their window and saw me. At one point I said, rather off-handedly and non-chalantly that I should kill myself (with the thought in mind that it didn't matter since nobody else was around to mourn my death and I was gonna be tripping until I died). He assured me that I should not, that everything was going to be fine, and when I told him that I was going to die, he said with complete confidence that I would not, which was probably all I needed to hear right from the beginning, anyway. I was very reluctant to leave his car, but he eventually convinced me to just go to bed. I went upstairs, still butt-naked and crawled into bed and went to sleep, just like that. <br>
<br>
I woke up the next morning to my father telling me that I had to pick up a family friend from the hospital that day, which I totally hadn't factored in the previous day. After the initial conversation, I realized all that had transpired the night before, and had a profound thankfulness to be alive, and for every person I knew that loved me, and for music and for absolutely everything. I had been brought to the utter depths of complete despair and solitude and had been redeemed against all impossibility. I almost got in a wreck about ten times getting my friend from the hospital to home, and I ended up crashing and sleeping a good twelve hours at my cousins' house. <br>
<br>
Although it seemed like a perfect revelation, my depression returned in a couple of days, nearly unscathed. However, I had a talk with my best friend less than a week after, and though she knew about the trip, she knew no details. On the subject of drugs, and life and suicide, she gave me a beautiful, powerfully moving oration and said many of the same things I had thought after waking up *verbatum*. I was nearly moved to tears, and felt clearly that God was telling me something, something I could not ignore any longer. I decided right then to turn my life around and quit being such an ass and constantly feeling sorry for myself. It has been several months since then, and although I have occasionally felt shitty like everybody does sometimes, the yoke of depression and constant dwelling on the thought of suicide has been lifted completely, after many years of suffering under its ever-growing tyranny. <br>
<br>
As for my psychosis, it feel either that it has diminished somewhat, or it has simply ceased to be important, though it is still occasionally troublesome, but well within tolerable bounds. I realize that I still have a long spiritual journey ahead of me with many trials, but I know now that I can survive anything God puts me through... unless of course it kills me.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 44018</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 16, 2006</td><td>Views: 7,205</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=44018&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=44018&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Depression (15), Difficult Experiences (5), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2.0 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/alprazolam/">Pharms - Alprazolam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">20 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/diazepam/">Pharms - Diazepam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2.0 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/alprazolam/">Pharms - Alprazolam</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 2:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/5meo_dmt/">5-MeO-DMT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(powder / crystals)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">180 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
My life just took a horrible turn for the worst. I am not at my lowest point, however, thanks to being out on bail and away from the hellishness of being confined to a jail cell.
<br>
<br>
Where I fucked up, on a warm saturday night 10 days ago, was with the choice to eat the benzos, xanax and valium. I do not have benzo tolerance and rarely use them. I had finally come across some, and decided to eat a few. At around 5pm saturday, I ate 2mg of alprazolam and 20mg of diazepam (2 blue pills of each), figuring this would mellow me out after the hard week I had at work. I had no plans that night and the next day, so I made plans to get intoxicated. I had a small collection of acid and 5-meo-dmt, which I had not touched in months; but I did not specifically plan to trip.
<br>
<br>
Around 6pm, I am definitely intoxicated in a drunken-like way but with less euphoria, and some slight depression and confusion. I stumble to my small substance collection and eat 2 more blue xanax. I wanted to be a little bit more into oblivion, because I was feeling slightly depressed (which was from the benzos in the first place, but I didn’t realize it at the time).
<br>
<br>
From 6 to 7pm, I spent my time stumbling around out in my yard feeling almost like a kid. I ran around and rolled in the grass some. Then I got up and took off running into the house and back to my room. I pushed on the closed door thinking it was open a crack and my face whacked right into it. I could definitely feel the pain despite my intoxication.
<br>
<br>
I got into my room and got into my drugs. I pulled out a 5 strip of futurama blotter acid somewhere around 7pm, and ate it. I got really excited, thinking I was going to blast off to some wonderful psychedelic reality that I have read about but never had the balls to attempt. I then got out my aluminum foil pipe and threw an eyeballed amount of 5-meo-dmt in (it was what looked like 20 grains of salt). This would definitely not be something I would do sober, same with the acid.
<br>
<br>
I inhaled the rough tasting substance and held my breath. Soon a 'wangwangwang' noise surrounded me, like nitrous but much more menacing. A tense feeling spread through my body. I felt my heart get squeezed then break, and I was bleeding all over myself internally. I was so scared but knew there was nothing I could do so I just tried to accept that I was going to die for sure. I saw a bright white light and I couldn't see anything else. I do not remember what else happened.
<br>
<br>
The next thing I know, I am outside laying in my yard twitching all over violently, but not quite seizure-like. I see the clouds morphing shapes and colors, I see all imaginable colors floating through the sky. The sun was setting so I guess this was around 7:45. I also hear voices and a strange music that could never be synthesized. It sounded very alien and started to frighten me. I got up off the ground and started to stop twitching. I thought I was coming down from the acid, since I was confused. At this point I don't think I remember smoking the 5-dmt, I only think I am coming down from the acid already. Maybe its because the 5-dmt trip seemed to last many hours when it only lasted minutes, but I can't be completely sure.
<br>
<br>
I go in the house, which took a lot of effort because I was very uncoordinated. Everything was liquid, and I became convinced this was actually the real world, and that my experience of sober reality before this trip had illusioned me into thinking solids existed. Everything seemed so real; clearer than ever before, despite the melting, fractals and distortions.
<br>
<br>
I remember trying to figure out how to open a beer can. I sat on my kitchen table pressing the tab in wrong directions and could not do it. I ended up cracking a whole in it with a juice can opener and sipping through it. I kept hearing the strange alien music getting louder, and I heard voices in specific directions that startled me. I do not remember the specifics of what the voices said but suddenly it became apparent that I MUST get out of my house or something horrible was going to happen to me. I remember running out my front door in a panic... most of what happens next is pieced together from my neighbor's account, who was an acquaintance, and the police reports. I do recall some flashes of the events but most are clips that are a few nanoseconds in length that I can't accurately describe.
<br>
<br>
I ran to my neighbors house across the street and past a big yard (houses are spread out a good bit around here). I went up to his mailbox and dug my hands inside. He must have saw me run up to his door because he came out right away, and said 'Hey, (myname), what the hell are you doing?' with a slightly threatening but confused tone. I do remember him saying this but barely.
<br>
<br>
All I did was stare at him. He said I looked like a frightened, insane animal ready to pounce. He took a step back and balled up his fists. 'You don't look so good, how about we take a walk back to your house'.
<br>
<br>
I yelled 'HE TOLD ME TO COME. HE TOLD ME I WOULD FIND MY ANSWER HERE' I then sat down and curled up in a ball. 'Do you need me to call an ambulance?'
<br>
<br>
Then, I snapped. I don't know and can't guess what the fuck was going through my head at this point. I screamed in a non-human way, as it was later described, and tore into my neighbor. I beat and kicked at him with all I had. At first, he acted defensively and put up his arms to defend himself. Then he ran back into his house and came out with a can of mace. I ran away, sensing danger. It came to me again, apparently, that I must get into my neighbor's house, it was extremely important to my survival. By this time it was night.
<br>
<br>
My neighbor had gone back inside to call the cops. I walked around back of his house to his sliding glass doors. I remember touching the glass and wondering what was stopping my finger, because I could see right through the door. I thought of it as a force field of some type that was a test. If I could pass the test of getting past this freak, but purposely placed occurrence, I would find what I was looking for. I picked up a small metal table and whirled it into the glass force field with all the strength I had. It broke the glass and kept on going about five feet. I walked through the destroyed force field and felt like I had accomplished an important step of some kind of goal I was going after (which I unfortunately can't remember). I heard footsteps coming fast from the other side of the house. I sensed danger and leaped up the steps that were to my left. I went into a dark room and saw a glowing clock. (Its red letters burned into my memory, and now I cannot look at digital clocks without getting intense anxiety and confusion).
<br>
<br>
I picked up the clock and held it. Then my neighbor run in, flicks on the light and unleashes hell onto me. I remember thinking something like I was being attacked by supernatural forces. I couldn't breathe or see, my upper body was burning and I literally thought I had caught on fire. I fought for my life and thrashed into everything with my fists. I stumbled around and fell down the steps I had walked up. I screamed so loud many neighbors arrived before the cops did, keeping distance.
<br>
<br>
When the cops arrived my neighbor was on the ground holding his head. I was in the house breaking things and screaming. Cops rushed in with guns drawn. 'GET DOWN ON THE GROUND NOW!'
<br>
<br>
I couldn't understand language, everything was just sounds at this point. I didn't know what language was so I was unable to follow the pig's instructions. Then I felt a stab and my body seize. It was the most painful thing I have ever felt, and I can't imagine anything worse. They had shot me with a taser. Two darts stuck in me, blasting me to the ground in a silenced, choking agony.
<br>
<br>
The paramedics came and treated me on the scene (now in my neighbor's yard) with saline for my eyes and a bandage for my hands, which were badly beaten. They gave me an examination of blood pressure and heart rate, then said I was OK to be put into police custody. Apparently they repeatedly asked me what I had taken and finally I had answered 'shrooms'.
<br>
<br>
I rather not go into detail about the jail cell because it will induce unpleasant flashbacks, as writing this has already done. I will just say it was hell, to understate it. The cops were real assholes to me. When I got to the police station they literally threw me in my jail cell and said 'You are fucked'.
<br>
<br>
I was charged with assault, public intoxication, disorderly conduct, vandalism, trespassing, and possession of a schedule IV substance (I had 5 xanax pills in my pocket). I was bailed out by a close family member who was severely dissapointed and upset with me. The bail was set at 3500$.
<br>
<br>
It was a hell of a journey to hell. I will never trip again on anything; I have lost all desire for altered states, plus I now will face jail soon and a long probation. My lawyer says he will try to negotiate a 30 day sentence but he can't promise it will be that small.
<br>
<br>
My neighbor was cool about it; well not cool but as cool as someone could be in his situation. I called him and apologized, and he told me what happened. He didn't lecture me at all about drugs or my actions. At the end of our somewhat brief conversation, he said 'good luck' and hung up.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 43716</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 18, 2006</td><td>Views: 59,105</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=43716&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=43716&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Police / Customs (60), Pharms - Alprazolam (98), Pharms - Diazepam (115), 5-MeO-DMT (58), LSD (2) : Alone (16), Post Trip Problems (8), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/salvia/">Salvia divinorum</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(extract)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 1:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dmt/">DMT</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(extract)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">145 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Let me take a timid peak
<br>
Into deaths
<br>
Other kingdom
<br>
<br>
How is one suppose to describe the indescribable? There is truly no way I could ever account to anyone what truly happened. I myself cant quite come to terms with the heights I reached that night. but ill try, ill try my damn harderst.
<br>
<br>
I’ve done drugs before. I am very experienced with acid, enjoy shrooms and DMT, and have used Salvia on a number of special occasions. I found that even though DMT is amazingly intense and powerful, I can still keep some perspective of what is happening. even in a full blown DMT hyperspace journey I find that there is some nerve in my mind still connected to reality. This does not apply to salvia. I have lost myself in salvia before, an experience I am both eager to do again and yet I am terrified beyond all belief at the sheer intensity of the experience.
<br>
<br>
I have done a LSD and DMT mix before, to profound and utterly mind blowing results. and on one other occasion I smoked both Salvia and DMT together. It was tricky at first. I had to have enough salvia on top of the DMT crystals in order to protect them from the open flame. I think deep but narrow bowls work best for this. The heat of the flame will vaporize the DMT while burning w/e is on the surface.
<br>
<br>
Anyhow I stared things off by coming to the realization that I wanted to go somewhere I doubt many people go. What would happen to one if they unleashed the three most powerful psychedelics known to man on their own mind. Would they snap? Self destruction would be a likely possibility.
<br>
<br>
Anywho I put my fears away and embraced this as some sort of spiritual orgasm in which I will ride all the way to the almighty peak and back. First things first, I needed the acid, lots of it. Then I needed some DMT, an easy thing to do in California at 5 forty 4 on a warm Saturday midway into the summer. But salvia was tricky. Odd, seeing that it was the only legal substance in the list, and I couldn’t find any, a number of websites wouldn’t ship to California, and the only too known headshops weren’t equipped with the drug. Anyhow I ran into a 'sub'friend who had a gram of salvia 15x. very potent.
<br>
<br>
I arranged for a good friend to sit with me. He would remain somewhat sober, avoiding the acid and sticking to good marijuana.
<br>
<br>
I think ill skip all the preparations. all that’s necessary is I had a pre made and specially arranged mix of salvia and DMT already prepared for me and already packed in a bowl (in a bong). I thought I could probably get a good two rips before I was completely twisted.
<br>
<br>
The acid was medium in strength, and after one hour of riding out one hit I decided that if I was to do things they must be done right. So I dropped another blotter. That did the trick. The waves and spider web thoughts were intense, the patterns and visuals were of profound beauty: it was time.
<br>
<br>
We were in my room of my apartment, a warm comfortable place. I propped myself up on my couch and my bud held the bong and lighter for me. I positioned it and held the carb shut. I gave him the signal and he began to light the mix as I took my first rip. it was long, and I held it for a good fifteen seconds. As I exhaled I could slowly feel the rushing sensation of the DMT pronounce itself at the same time the odd 'salvia gravity' sensation became noticeable. I knew that in order for me to break through I needed to take a monster rip, and I needed to hold it. So that’s what I did. I dragged that fucker for the longest time, advising my friend to hold the lighter a little further away from the mix so that the flame wouldn’t touch the DMT crystals arranged at the bottom of the bowl. the salvia extract started making funny sounds as it burned.
<br>
<br>
As I held my breath a loud whining sound soon enveloped me. I never exhaled. My friend said that I closed my eyes and entered a trance as I fell back onto the couch. Good thing he was there or I would of dropped the bong.
<br>
<center><i>
<br>
<br>
let us peak
<br>
into deaths
<br>
other dream kingdom
<br>
<br>
'and alice followed the rabbit down into the rabbit whole..'
<br>
<br>
<br>
jjjjjjjjjjjkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk jjjjjjjjj kkkkkkkkkk
<br>
*&amp;*&amp;^&amp;**&amp;^^*&amp;
<br>
<br>
<br>
?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?CC
<br>
and that is C minus four
<br>
z?
<br>
no
<br>
D?
<br>
no
<br>
8?
<br>
yes.
<br>
eight what?
<br>
bannas
<br>
what was happening?
<br>
it took me a while to figure out what I was seeing.
<br>
I still cant quite say.
<br>
some say it was a mass of needles
<br>
I was looking for the hay
<br>
the needles all smiled
<br>
weren’t that bad in the end
<br>
I was stuck without reality
<br>
the goose without his friend
<br>
</i></center>
<br>
<br>
I was peaking over from the edge of some great peak of (mountains? Or was it the warted body of some massive toad..) Something, looking at what seemed to be a pulsating valley. Take the intensity of an acid pattern, the rushing sensation and fucking amazing breakthrough high of DMT, and add salt, pepper, stir, and yes, add some salvia. I wasn’t sure of what I was seeing. I wasn’t sure what it was.
<br>
<br>
It was a valley, incredibly real, yet it seemed to spiral out in front of me like some, well, big spiral. The valley walls stayed still but the matter of which they were made of seemed to be sliding and melting. as I stared at the valley I saw it elongate and slowly I took off. Was I peaking? wasn’t I already at the peak? Holy fucking Christ if this isn’t the peak then where the fuck am I going?
<br>
<br>
Idk where I went. The valley lost all shape and form and simply became something else. it was some sort of warped tube at which I was traveling down at amazing speeds, invincible to all aspects or forces of nature. Suddenly, I know because before it happened I could feel that I was about to take a step to places no one had been to, suddenly I detached. The best way to describe it is that what I thought was the peak was magnified ten fold, and I lost it. The trip itself became the reality at which I was judging the current reality on. Normal wasn’t what I was when I was baseline, normal was now defined as the first thirty seconds of the trip. What I had just entered was a place beyond time.
<br>
<br>
The spiral went white, and what I saw was a white space. Sort of like a negative shot of the space we have come to know. What should of been glowing stars were big balls of black matter. I think I looked down at my feet and realized that this whiteness was infinite. Spaced fairly evenly throughout this white space were the big balls. At first they seemed alien, then they became somewhat more placid, a little crispy, too much pepper, then suddenly all the balls exploded in vibrant colors and once again I was rushing. The DMT was coming in hard, what had taken it so long? Hot fucking Christ almighty I still hadn’t peaked. Never had one minute seemed so incredibly fucking long. slowly the white place melted into blackness and I was indeed space. The stars were indeed stars.
<br>
<br>
Then I blacked out. I can’t remember anything clearly after that, too intense.
<br>
<br>
What I can remember was one thing. At some point I was very high in space, I was 'close' to the edge of space. If I was to reach out with my arm I would exit space and enter the beyond. It was then I saw the great machine, the interworkings of the universe. It was literally a great machine. I had turned away from the edge of space and was looking down at everything, and hot damn it was a machine of which the knobs and levers on it were of sizes unheard of. I don’t know why this single image of the peak has stayed with me while most of everything else has simply faded into one astonished wow.
<br>
<br>
It was like my mind took one desperate snap shot of the single highest point during the trip, and that is all I have to hold onto, the last fragments of something so amazing. there is really no way I could describe the feeling that I was part of that machine, yet even though I already new that my part to play in the machines workings was planned out, I could see that I didn’t have to follow those rules. What would happen if I strayed? Chaos.
<br>
<br>
The very last memory of the peak I have is of looking at the machine and realizing that it was breathing, then, well, I don’t quite know. Perhaps the peak continue to grow, perhaps I entered the beyond. What happened still clouds me, two days after the experience. Perhaps a few hours of meditating will bring back what happened.
<br>
<br>
All I know is that when I opened my eyes and saw a mass of pink pixels staring at me I was amazed that it seemed so ordinary. As I came back to acid baseline I swore that this was real and that I am finally normal. That’s how high I was folks, so high that when I came off the DMT/Salvia mix the acid seemed mundane. I was amazed.
<br>
<br>
I then began to go dance in an effort to try to explain to my friend what happened. After that I simply sat down and enjoyed the acid as it did odd things with my carpet. Idk if it was some lingering side effect of the previously consumed combo, but I could swear that all the patterns I was seeing afterwards were somehow magnified and intensified. Even two hours after I had blazed and was slowly coming off the acid I could swear that the patterns and visuals were more 'real' than they should of been. Didn’t bother me though, it gave me a feeling that I had been left with something from that experience
<br>
<br>
I don’t think ill ever understand what happened there is no way I could really describe the utter horror/fear/amazement/aw at what happened. I think the best way to put it is that I had sex with my mind. My mind took me and completely fucked the shit out of me. She threw me on some invisible bed and for 8 minutes we fucked harder than any animal. Sick yes, seeing that I was technically fucking myself, but it was incredible. Will I ever do it again? yes, I probably will. it was so amazing that I think I will prob have to live it again. Perhaps ill push it a little further, up the dosages a little more, go into the beyond...
<br>
<br>
I will be honest, the entire time I was twisted on the three drugs at the same time I had an intense fear that I had finally taken my mind on a ride that I couldn’t afford. But fuck, why do people ride roller coasters anyways?<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 44002</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 18, 2006</td><td>Views: 69,418</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=44002&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=44002&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Salvia divinorum (44), DMT (18) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2.0 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/mushrooms/">Mushrooms</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(dried)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">150 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
While this was not technically my first acid trip (I had tried a single square of the same print months prior with some minor psychological effect, but no visuals) this would be the one that I remembered clearer than anything else.
<br>
<br>
A lot of this trip stems from ideas presented in the movie The Matrix. While I wish my life changing experience hadn’t been based off a Hollywood blockbuster, the associations made are fine by me.
<br>
<br>
To establish this trip, I will provide a summarization of some events in my life which I feel shaped the trip. I had begun my first year at university, a feat that took me an extra year of high school and some substantial money saving. It was in November that this event happened, and at that point in time, I was incredibly depressed. I had been dealing with the idea of whether or not to break up with my girlfriend at the time, as I had been cheating on her, and felt terrible about it. The girl I was cheating on her with was, at the time, nothing more than a booty call whom I really showed little appreciation towards. On top of this, my financial situation was horrendous, as I had managed to blow through thousands of dollars on alcohol alone. My life was in a downwards spiral, a testament to the very notion of excessive living.
<br>
<br>
A few friends had been searching for mushrooms, which thankfully, I had a reasonable quantity at the time. They were to be doing them for the first time. Initially, my roommate John and I had planned to do acid I had purchased earlier on in the year, but he decided against it at the last minute, opting for the mushrooms instead. I believe it was around 7 when I dropped the 2 tabs left, and I also ate 2 grams of dried mushrooms. The potency of these mushrooms were very high, as 1.5 grams had given trips for the full 4 hour range before dying off. Initially, not a whole lot was happening. We sat in our room watching visualizations thanks to milkdrop in winamp, listening to some QOTSA and Nas before finally deciding to go smoke a joint. It was after this joint that the effects began to present themself.
<br>
<br>
I have always been a fan of science fiction, a technophile of sorts, and it was upon entering the darkened residence, with a foamy green carpet and white walls that the effects began to make themselves known. I reached towards the door handle, and suddenly the green carpet began to present itself entirely in the matrix code. My hand sliced through the falling text, rippling waves cutting through the very fabric of reality. I remarked to my roommate that I felt as though 'I was falling out of phase with reality.' It was after this initial hallucination that we went to play Halo 2. The guys fired up Ivory Tower and hit the lights. Sitting roughly 3 feet away from a 27 inch tv, the graphical prowess of the Xbox made itself known. It felt as though I was plugged in to the character on the screen, although I was not playing. Somewhere in my head, I could feel the visual stimulus being converted into raw neural inputs.
<br>
<br>
My eyes began to stare into the television, captivated by the thought of direct neural interfacing, feeling as though Microsoft was on the verge of something huge (this would later lead to some scary schizophrenic conspiracy theories.). I was handed the controller, and initially I tried moving around, but found myself unable to process the motor control skills necessary to play at the time. Earlier on while playing, my friends began to use very specific jargon relating to the game, and the nature of one of my friend's voices (it's a baritone, very resonating and official sounding) made it seem as though they were in some form of military intelligence and the like.
<br>
<br>
When I searched through my mind, I find myself able to communicate with them, without saying a word. I was able to channel myself into a telepathic state of mind, transmitting words wirelessly and carrying on a full conversation. This, of course, was not real, but at the time felt so. I felt like I was on the verge of uncovering a huge conspiracy, one that revolved entirely around the movie the matrix (damn Hollywood.) It felt as though I was hacking the neural inputs placed down the vertebrae, I was accessing things I wasn't supposed to. My friends played dual roles in this, in one hand, they were experienced hackers, waiting to show me how to do this properly. On the other hand, they were agents, forcing me to stay away from this phenomenon, distracting me (it turns out they were distracting me, because they could tell I was going insane). It was at this point in time, that we decided halo was simply too intense.
<br>
<br>
We returned to my room, watched a few more songs and proceeded to pack up the hookah and go outside. During the hookah session, I felt myself converging on something huge, an impeding invasion of sentinels. I justified to myself that they were just signs that the controlling forces were onto me, showing me that they knew what I was up to. I began to experience delusional paranoia, worrying about the information that only I had inside of my head somehow being known. Being in a capital city at the time, the sounds of the night were mostly helicopters and sirens, which only aided to my feelings of paranoia. I decided at the time, I could not trust my friends at this point until I was able to actively sort everything out. Especially when I felt as though they were talking to me inside of my head.
<br>
<br>
I returned to my room with my roommate. I believe the feelings I was about to experience stemmed from a line by nas which stated “I never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death.” I should also note that throughout the night it seemed as though the controlling forces (the machines from the matrix) wanted me to die. And now, I was there, in my room, feeling the incredible urge to sleep (I am thankful I tried, even though I realize the futility in sleeping while on psychedelic drugs.) I stripped myself down to my underwear, as my roommate was present, and climbed into bed. It was there that I pulled myself into a vessel, sheets wrapped tightly around me and eyes closed tightly.
<br>
<br>
Suddenly I was there, in the tanks were bodies were kept (in the matrix). I could feel the fluids surrounding me, the ebb and flow of warmth. I could feel the dermal implants imbedded along my spine, the sharp pain of needles. Suddenly a cold feeling washed over me, the warm fluid began to drain, and I could feel my life slipping away through my spine. I knew that I was dying, and at this point in time, I began to reflect on my life. I can not describe adequately the infinite sadness that I felt, the regret that I had for my previous actions in life. My thoughts went to friends and family, to the girl I was currently cheating on my girlfriend with. I could see her face, I could feel the pain that I had caused her, and I knew that I wanted to tell her that I was sorry, that I had never truly intended for her to feel that way. I had so much regret, but I was coming to terms with it. I wanted to die being at peace with myself. And as I grew colder, I found myself free of the limits I had put on myself, I was one with everything. My death occurred, and no longer was I bound to the earth by my body.
<br>
<br>
I was able to transcend every psychological barrier I had put in place so I wouldn’t have to deal with problems stemming from my life. I destroyed them, I asserted them so fully that by the time I was no longer dying, I felt as though my entire life had changed for the better. At this point in time, I spoke to my roommate. He acted in analog to the oracle of the matrix, I felt he possessed such a full understanding of things. Once I was able to piece together the notion of the matrix, I began to come to terms with the system in which we were placed. The consumer fed machine that leaves nothing in it’s wake. I understood the role of the machine; it was not to harm us, but to protect those who were not equipped to deal with the fact that we were controlled. The corporate entity provided our daily lives with a meaning, as shallow as it may have been that the majority were content with. The sheep were well tended, as they should be.
<br>
<br>
At this point in time, the nature of our existence was clear. I will not go on explaining that idea, as I can’t readily verbalize how I felt.
<br>
<br>
We went on a walk, to a rural area. In my head, I felt as though I was able to contact the ones that had been talking to me before, so I sent them a few messages, letting them know that I was not an enemy of the system, and that I would aid them if it meant happiness for those controlled. The walk was rather uneventful, but it did provide me with a beautiful memory of staring over the city with the full moon hanging over it.
<br>
<br>
When I returned to residence, at this point in time it was near 3 or 4 in the morning, I searched out the girl whom I wanted to see so badly one last time while my life slipped away. I wanted to talk to her. We talked, we talked until my jaw fell off, in an intimate position afforded to me thanks to a rather ergonomic chair. It was not sexual at this point in time, but our bodies pressed together and I felt a great understanding for her. No longer did my feelings for her seem base and empty, she had become a fully developed person. A person that I felt strong feelings towards. Part of me wanted to voice those feelings, but I knew the credibility of my words at that point in time were undermined. By the time we finished talking, it was 8 in the morning. We had talked for 5 hours, straight communication. She went to bed, and I followed.
<br>
<br>
I didn’t sleep, instead I watched her, I reflected on everything she said. I ran my fingers through her hair. My trip was coming down at this point in time, but I still was having minor visuals that I was playing with (I managed to figure out how to focus my iris so that I could look at images that were normally blurry. Specifically, the fabric of the pillow I was pressed against.) When she did wake up, after a solid 4 hours of voyeurism on my part, we made love.
<br>
<br>
It may be an odd notion to those reading this, but it was the first time in my life that I have ever felt so close to anyone. We spooned, and our bodies pressed together. I could feel her fully, and our bodies moved in such a rhythmic fashion, that I would later comment that it felt like an orchestra. I could, in my head atleast, see myself sliding into her, I could see us joined together in an internal view. She was beautiful, the definition of perfection. We had become one, a perfect union of soul and body. The sex that night was the best of my entire life, and my orgasm left me feeling completely drained, in every sense of the word.
<br>
<br>
I decided after that night, that I would never push the boundaries of my own existence so far, not for a while. Acid is an incredible drug, and this recollection does not fully illustrate the negative feelings of being nearly schizophrenic and delusional. At times, I felt as though I would end up a conspiracy theorist, forced to live on the streets on a cardboard box.
<br>
<br>
In case you are wondering about the girl, it has been only a month, but I feel as though I have met someone who is my equal in everyway. It is the first time that I have felt so close to someone. It is the first time I have ever been in love. All it took to realize how I felt about her was for me to die.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 49064</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 19, 2006</td><td>Views: 12,856</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=49064&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=49064&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Mushrooms (39) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Sex Discussion (14), Glowing Experiences (4), Combinations (3)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">140 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I’ve done my fair share of drugs over the past two years. After experimenting with drugs like DXM and mushrooms, I began to get curious as to what other hallucinogenic drugs there might be. I’ve done vast amounts of cocaine, molly, and an E-pill cut with Special K. A friend of mine brought up the subject of acid some time ago, and it had been something of a light switch I flicked whenever I entered that particular room from the night he mentioned it and a certain music festival to which we were planning to attend. I consider it an answer to whether the chicken or the egg came first. We spoke of acid for a good chunk of the three-hour ride, as he felt confident we would find some that day. We parked the car and found a sheet of acid within 10 minutes. We were told that it was going to make us trip “for fourteen hours, like it should.” I admit I was slightly skeptical, but I have been told that the experience is never what some expect it to be. (Keeping myself from ever hearing or reading what it had been in the eyes of others made that rather easy.) What I did not hear, however, was that it was Fluff family acid.
<br>
<br>
It has been more or less confirmed that it was not in truth from the Fluffs. Clearly some entity was watching over me that day. We each immediately took a single hit and retreated back to my car to blaze a few bowls. I believe that it was somewhere between 1:30 and 1:45 that afternoon that we dropped. We proceeded into the concert grounds at around 2:30. The concert was being held in a park spanning 666 acres of land, though we were restricted to only around twenty, with three stages. The two main stages were set up on the east and west sides so we could watch the sun rise and set against each stage with the passing of the day. We began to wander through the tents, and smack in the middle of them stood a single monolithic tent. I had just begun to start tripping and had left my phone in the car so inevitably I began to lose track of time, though the concept of time seems so trivial in retrospect. We wandered into the tent, and much to my amusement the entire hut was lined with framed blotter art.
<br>
<br>
We continued to wander around the festival. We had hardly eaten anything since early that morning, but neither of us could really decide if we were hungry. Our urge to continue walking dissipated almost instantaneously, and we began searching for a place to rest and blaze again. It didn’t take long to realize we didn’t have anything to smoke with, or to smoke for that matter. We decided to lay down in one of the few shady spots on the grass, behind the tents and near a small lake. The music was loud, and coming from two directions as we were a median between the sunstages. I had been keeping rather quiet and was becoming incredibly introspective.
<br>
<br>
I had been quietly observing each and every one of the people there as individuals, and suddenly that concept vanished and they became one living seething mass of energy. As they danced and went about their own ways, each one’s soul seemed to pass directly through the other’s. My friend and I looked over at each other, and knew exactly what we needed to do. We both rose from our crushed cloven patch of ground and began to walk. This was the first of many times that I felt that our souls crossed. It seemed to me that there was no other reasonable explanation for these curious episodes. I felt that this was how people should be communicating, that if the rest of the world could just understand each other as this group of people moving before me.
<br>
<br>
I felt unusually refreshed standing up after having been seated for any given amount of time, as if I was able to drink upon the energy of the earth like some twisted form of a vampire. It wasn’t so much that we were tired from walking as much as we grew equally tired from either one after a particular amount of time. We forded our souls across the river before us until we reached the northern shore. Here we found a barren and frigid land, inhabited by natives in the form of concrete, security guards, a long row of tightly packed food vendors, and portable toilets. We had not decided that it was time to get food just yet, and we were wary of the unusual amount of guards posted here on these shores.
<br>
<br>
We decided that it was time to smoke, but first we needed a bowl. As we gradually descended into the mass of people, I felt the need to turn my eyes skyward. Jutting above the tents and people was a flag adorned with a brilliant red and gold design. As soon as the beacon seemed as though it was ethereally connected to something in a place I could not entirely grasp the concept of, it appeared to be struggling to stay afloat this close to the northern shore. I noticed more across the tops of the island tents and began to feel as though this was sanctuary, a sort of “home base.”
<br>
<br>
My friend bought a bowl, and we decided to smoke at a picnic table in the far southwestern corner near the lake and the sunset stage. The music felt as though it had always been there, like it was just as much a part of nature as myself, and the river of souls in front of us. We smoked our bowl and had a short conversation about the band that was playing. After that we decided to make another visit to the artery of earth we had been drinking from earlier. We arrived, and I lay down on my back. This was the first time that I had really truly concentrated on the sky. The sun was just far enough on its course to make staring at the sky pleasing to my eyes. The sky before me was rent open as easily as rice paper but as peacefully as a monk engrossed in calligraphy.
<br>
<br>
What happened next will forever be a part of who I am now. It is something that gives definition to one of the shards of experience that comprises the mirror I look into within myself. I still find it difficult to adequately express what was in that moment, though I shall make an attempt nonetheless.
<br>
<br>
The world of my peripheral vision was suddenly whisked away and I felt as though I had been absorbed into this rift that had appeared before me. I was ensconced into the sky, my elevation interrupted only by a lone soaring crow, and even the time and space behind him appeared as though it was being slowed by the rift. I was suddenly held hostage by an alluring pair of eyes, made only of color and light, peering out from their hiding place in the abyss. A pair of hands gripped the edge of the rift from whatever world was beyond, and a somewhat human form began to descend upon me. As the color and light began to transfigure into more visible form, I realized that it had a woman’s figure. She was composed of the purest energy from her waist down, which was extending like a snake back into its lair.
<br>
<br>
Although what I was witnessing had left me at a total loss of both word and thought, the energy that this woman was showing me lit a fire in my mind. “You were the one watching me earlier,” I felt. We continued to move closer to one another as if she and I were a star collapsing into its self. Suddenly she was with me, and I could feel the wave of pure energy moving up my left side. The goddess was sliding up the left side of my abdomen and around to the top of my back. I could sense her eyes above, watching me, as I felt her hand touch my face.
<br>
<br>
And just like that, she was gone. It felt like seeing the end of a fairy tale, which made me feel almost as if I was just a child, though I was well a
<br>
ware that I would not have been measured as such by today’s standards. All children are told fairy tales, then one day that all stops. But the tale never disappears, it is only hidden deeper and deeper inside us as we grow older.
<br>
<br>
Instinctively I knew that I had just crested the peak of my trip. My friend and I once again looked at each other and began to swim the river again. Throughout the rest of my trip, I was able to see this goddess in everything around me. For that matter, the remainder of the trip felt almost mundane compared to what I had just experienced. I began to feel trapped inside this park with the music, seeing the same things and people over and over. Were it not for the music I might have sought my escape. We stayed until around 8:30 that evening, then left with a fairy tale safely tucked away behind the mirror.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 49904</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jul 14, 2006</td><td>Views: 7,308</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=49904&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=49904&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Festival / Lg. Crowd (24), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 hit</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">135 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
A friend and I hopped our bikes, dropped a trip each; he had one of those miscellaneous trips we get with a coctail of unknown substances, normally speed or pseudoephedrine -based, I had a clean acid tab. We'd been waiting to drop together for some months. We didn't have a chance to utilize the mushroom season to its full potential back in August, so it has been a good year since we've had a good trip together. So the anticipation was high, and our minds were open for the reception of whatever was to come.
<br>
<br>
We rode along walking trails that follow a creek for some kilometers. It was after dark, park lights were spotting havens for rest...not that we needed it, and the spirit descended as the peddling pumped the blood carrying chemical catalysts through the body's gnostic antenna, the nervous system.
<br>
<br>
It was a moderate dose affair that proved strangely enough to have dramatic psychological ramifications, and which brought back the usual torrent of profound insights, which I haven’t experienced to such depth since I gave up weed not long ago.
<br>
<br>
I was surprised at the lack of body-heaviness on this occasion and this is my reasoning for calling it a lower dose, coupled with the fact that patterned visuals (open or closed eye) were mostly absent. In fact I was full of energy. I felt like I could ride my bike at any speed for any distance without feeling any tiredness or lethargy. While I was riding I said to my friend “I’m gonna feel this in the morning.” Surprisingly, I didn’t.
<br>
<br>
Perceptual enhancement was exceptional from the kick off; bright, vivid, multidimensional colours made brilliant halos around street and park lights. My body and the entire environment surrounding me seemed to buzz with energy as if I was perceiving the various vibration levels inherent in the subatomic particles of different types of matter: the creek seemed to vibrate like a trillion dominoes cascading in every direction at once, the purest perception of fluidity I’ve ever experienced, whereas the vibrations of tree trunks were stifled and muffled by the density of their wood; and every type of matter in between had its own distinct level of subatomic vibration that determined whether it was hard, soft, fluid or gas.
<br>
<br>
The times I stopped to take a breather from riding I would meditate (open-eyed) so that a full psychedelic trance would engulf my consciousness, and these were the richest moments of psychological/spiritual/mystical revelation and perceptual enhancement. (The following is an aggregate description of the 3 or 4 times we stopped).
<br>
<br>
Sitting, staring blankly ahead, removing any intentional thought from my mind, I began to receive the bombardment of information that almost always accompanies these states of mind. At first I noticed that I could actually watch beams of light being emitted from the park lights, and I could follow their propagation through space without moving my eyes or head, using the eye of my awareness alone. It seemed like my entire Being had ‘slowed down’ to such a degree that for once my mind had the time and space to actually process the speed of light. Of course I could be delusional. Or just tripping. Whatever the case, it confirmed to me, in ways I know not how, the simultaneity of the reality of physical science and the validity of subjective human perception: and this realization opened the flood gates.
<br>
<br>
Everything I saw from this point on took on qualities and expressions of life and mystical symbolism. Everything was living, moving, growing, changing, and displaying deeper meanings than surface appearances.
<br>
<br>
I realized that plants are a manifestation of things totally unseen. A healthy plant is just an indicator of the ‘right’ soil, the ‘right’ climate, the ‘right’ location, the ‘right’ neighbouring plants and animals: this goes for any living thing, plants, animals, humans, even atoms, molecules, stars, planets and galaxies: we are all expressions of the things that surround us and have surrounded us since we came to life, the things that we consume and interact with, physically and psychologically. The miracle of a living entity is that it is not an autonomous entity at all: a tree is merely the representation, a sign or symbol indicating that a whole range of seemingly unrelated factors and conditions have coincided in the same place at the same time. Nothing stands alone – all is one – and the one displays the all.
<br>
<br>
One cannot judge the meaning of human life on Earth without understanding the ups and downs of our history, because we must know who we are in relation to each other. And one cannot understand the meaning of human life in this place without understanding the cosmological history of the Universe, because for this we must know who we are in relation to this Universe, and what we can offer it. The same is said of animals and plants in the environment: I cannot explain what this or that animal is without including information on where it lives, what it eats, how it survives, and even what animals preceded it in evolution.
<br>
<br>
One cannot judge a person without understanding where they have been, what they have done, who they relate to, how they see things, and why, as well as what they want to offer the world. Every thing in existence is the expression of its environment, which means that literally everything is interrelated, and no thing can be separated from another, the Universe is a single entity, one whole organism; and we do have a role that exceeds the meaninglessness inherent in the evolutionary 'fluke of partial chaos': we are an organ of the Universal body.
<br>
<br>
People forget that we are part of the Universe: there is no separation. We are made of the same stuff; we exist with the Universe and interact with it at the same time that it interacts with us: we are the Universe, just like that rock, or my bike, or our solar system. We are not ‘in’ the universe, we are this universe. Everything is this universe. Consequently, what people rarely realize is that when we speak, the Universe Speaks. When a person speaks we say they are speaking because meaning-encoded sounds are coming from a part of their body. Our bodies are just as much part of the universe as rocks and bikes and stars, so that when we speak, meaning-encoded sounds are coming from a part of the body of the Universe. Therefore we represent the speech – and the thought and the emotion and the action – of the Universe. Of course there may be other races of beings who are contributing to this voice, but that doesn’t reduce the fact that intelligent human life is the brains of the Universe.
<br>
<br>
During the whole experience my friend and I were on a similar ‘level’. We always knew where each other were, mentally speaking. We both spoke few words but somehow communicated a great deal. I guess gestures and facial expressions helped a lot, but at times there did seem to be a kind of mutual understanding which we laughed at a couple of times in amazement. At least I was amazed. Though there is always the sceptical thought that maybe we’re thinking totally different things and we’re both just tripping, but generally actions or subsequent ‘conversations’ confirmed that we were both very aware of each others state of mind. I should note that this mutual understanding related to our level of intoxication, and also how our personalities work, so to speak, not so much in terms of insights or gnostic information. It reminded me of when I first started smoking weed with my mate Rick. After we’d both finished our first bowl, Rick would always ask with a laugh, “you stoned yet man?” And it always helped get us in the same frame of mind.
<br>
<br>
All in all it was a deep thinking, high energy experience that was very smooth and containable. The next morning I was physically a little groggy, but no more than a usual late night. I was mentally alert and in a glowing mood after the grogginess went, and four days later I am still high, feeding off the infinite insights opened to me by a chemical relative of Gaia’s most profound gifts.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2004</td><td width="90">ExpID: 30570</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Jun 20, 2006</td><td>Views: 5,650</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=30570&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=30570&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Glowing Experiences (4), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">150 ug</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">0.2 g</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">60 kg</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I was prompted to submit this report after reading of an experience which seemed similar in some respects, pertaining to the fractal patterns.
<br>
<br>
I had obtained a tab of LSD from a friend of a flatmate, and I was able to choose from which part of the sheet my tab would be cut.
<br>
<br>
The picture printed on the sheet was of a Dali painting, 'Torero Alucinogeno', or 'Hallucinogenic Bullfighters', and the sheet seemed to have been unevenly scored, so that a lot of the squares were of an uneven size. Thus I chose one of the largest available squares, which happened to coincide with the part of the picture where a uniform field of flies disappears into perspective. This was the first time I had taken LSD from this batch, although I had taken acid from other manufacturers on 6 other occasions.
<br>
<br>
I should note that I had been smoking hydroponic skunk fairly regularly (1g per day average), and I could feel the effects of the various cannabinoids near constantly, although I had not smoked that day.
<br>
<br>
I put the tab under my tongue, and sat on the front porch of my flat, talking with two other flatmates for about 20 minutes, until I decided I would like to go for a skate. I'm careful to avoid planning out a night using psychedelics, I like to be free to follow ideas as they come to me. I retrieved my camera bag (I've found that it's best to keep things like keys, change, stash, lighter etc all together, and my ABC is to Always Bear a Camera!) and skateboard and skated off down the road.
<br>
<br>
I found immediately that my balance was slightly better than normal, and I could adjust my weight distribution very exactly, close enough to almost ride on the back two wheels (a manual). This may not sound amazing, but I skate only for travel and adrenaline, and I skate very basically, one foot on the board all the time, and the other pushes now and again. I enjoyed the ride until I got into the inner city, and the smell of cars became stronger. There were drifts of fast food wrappers everywhere, and I knew that I had to keep moving and get past the city centre, as I felt rising disgust at the drunken hordes, shambling animals looking for food/a fight/a root. Each to their own, I thought as I dodged a drifting Coke cup.
<br>
<br>
I threw my skateboard over the Botanic Gardens fence, and immediately regretted making so much noise. I jumped the fence and wandered slowly towards the trees, marvelling at their size and complexity, and the strength of their frames.
<br>
<br>
I began to notice more and more hallucinations very soon, some of the trees appeared to me as groups of bearded dog-like creatures, leaning down towards me. I found concrete to be too harsh on my bare feet (I had stashed my skateboard and shoes safely, as I had done in the past) and I moved from the path to the grass of the archery lawn. As I walked between the two rows of tall trees I felt coldness lapping at my feet, and I became convinced that I was walking in two inches of water. I looked at my feet for a minute, and they seemed to be covered in darkness up to the ankles. I had to put my hands down into the shadow to realise that it was only shadow, not water.
<br>
<br>
I kept moving through the gardens, without direction, idly observing the forms and hallucinations, until I realised that I hadn't had a drink all day, and I was becoming somewhat dehydrated. I started searching in vain for a drinking fountain, slowly getting more and more agitated when one wasn't right around the corner. I felt worried, as some part of me knew that there were at least six drinking fountains spread throughout this half of the gardens (which span about 10 acres), and yet I couldn't find one!
<br>
<br>
I began to feel despair, and sat down. Then I noticed a light far away, and felt compelled to walk towards it. It was very dark, but I could see better as I walked onwards, until I started to recognise parts of the gardens I had been through earlier. I skirted the archery lawn and continued towards the light.
<br>
<br>
I stopped some distance from the light, and looked around. As my eyes adjusted and chased away the retinal ghosting I realised that I could hear water running . . . I looked to my right and saw a drinking fountain, continually running. Christchurch is built on a series of artesian wells, and if you dig and hit a spring the cleanest water in the world flows continually out.
<br>
<br>
I knelt down by the stone fountain and drank deeply.
<br>
<br>
From there I moved to a small hill in the centre of a ring of very tall pine trees, and lay between a two large oblong plates set in the ground, one white, one black. I took off my bag and prepared a small pipe of weed. As I smoked it I felt a bubble expanding in my lungs, pressing upon my throat, sliding into my head.
<br>
<br>
The bubble grew, spreading through my limbs, and slowly through my brain. It seemed to stop, completely filling me with gentle pressure, until I felt what seemed like a drop of water on the very top of my head. It was almost like there was suddenly a hole on my 7th chakra, and what had just filled my body was flowing out, running over my skin, spreading to envelope the grass, trees and bushes until it was an even field which was still a part of me.
<br>
<br>
I lay back, and watched the stars slowly circle and the trees sway. After a time it seemed as though the trees were fractal generations, a single line splitting and multiplying until it merges with the air, taking air and water and spreading to continue the formula. The stars also seemed to be carefully arranged in patterns spelling out the flow of gravity and expansion. I was still hallucinating myriad faces in the clouds, and they started to become larger and talk more actively, smiling and communicating with each other, although I was unclear as to what they were saying. They seemed to merge until there was just one face, as large as one a few feet away from me. She (I'm very sure that the face was feminine) laughed once, before I looked too closely in wonder and the clouds were clouds again.
<br>
<br>
Many other visions came to me during that time, many of which I can't recount with language written or spoken. However, one thing that really stood out was a the feeling that light was hitting me with energy that I could perceive as groups of particles. I could see the grain of light, except on sources of light or direct reflections where it blended into the image. I felt at the time that this was more than a visual illusion, as I know that the human eye is sensitive enough to register single photons.
<br>
<br>
Particles moving in waves, the theory actually meant something!
<br>
<br>
My photography has since come a long way, I can now explore optical oddities and tools with a greater understanding of the underlying physics. This experience and the mental exploration over the next few days gave me insight into things I would otherwise have never found. I'm now studying for a degree in Physics, and I hope to follow on with String theory study.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2002</td><td width="90">ExpID: 31388</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 16, 2006</td><td>Views: 6,009</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=31388&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=31388&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Cannabis (1) : Entities / Beings (37), General (1), Alone (16)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">4 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">190 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
There are moments in my life, where I remember myself as the person before, and the person after an experience, I had one of those moments one evening late in the summer of 1996.
<br>
<br>
Myself and a group of friends had gathered at a buddy's house, his folks were at their summer home and we used to have get togethers there to party, have bonfires, and listen to music... it was always a good time. But this one night has stuck with me, I remember it as if it had happened yesterday, the vivid image burned into my memory.
<br>
<br>
My friends and I had come across a vial of liquid LSD. We had done it many times before, see colors move and wave, things seem more alive, make cigarette trails and circles but never in my life have I had an experience like I had that night. I tear up even retelling this story in print, not because anything horrible actually happened that night, but I, still to this day, feel that I was given some insight from God, as to what's to come.
<br>
<br>
We had dropped the acid at about 8:00 pm, they were on the large sweet-tart rolls that have the dimple in them. Each one had two doses on them, and always anxious to start the fun, we were getting disappointed after about an hour with no effect. So after about an hour had passed, we took another. In retrospect, I think this may have been a big mistake, because as the night progressed, I can only say I was taken to a place that living humans shouldn't visit.
<br>
<br>
To this point in my life, I was not a very spiritual person, not a religious person and had no advance knowledge of the stories of the history of the Bible, the events of the night would surely change that. Anyways, on with the story...
<br>
<br>
More people had shown up, some that we had partied with before, some that I've never seen before in my life, it was a friendly atmosphere, and at about 10:00, I began to feel the effects of the LSD. It began as a normal trip, things began looking not quite normal, flowing wood grain, things that I could associate with my previous experiences with this drug.
<br>
<br>
Then, my friend invited me to come up to his room to look at the fractal generator on his computer, which he referred to as 'god'. I played along, it was neat, but he continued referring to this piece of electronic equipment as god, and as he did so, I began to have a feeling that what he was doing was VERY wrong. After several minutes of listening to him, I stood up, and calmly said to him that 'That is not God'...
<br>
<br>
I got up and walked out of the room, and started to make my way down the stairs. I got about halfway down, and began to feel dizzy. I sat down on the stairs, put my head in my hands and closed my eyes. I remember having a short conversation, like an argument, with who I could not tell you. I said 'No, not yet' and they agreed with me, that it was not the right time.. and suddenly, I felt as if I was being pulled from my body. Further and further back I was pulled, I could see the house and then the city, then the state... but stranger still, I was aware of all the people, things, animals, and that they were all interconnected, like a huge puzzle fitting together in perfect symmetry... and then I stopped.
<br>
<br>
I could feel a presence over my shoulder, not intimidating presence, but felt such a love from this being that I can really not begin to explain it in words. It told me that it needed to show me something, and that it was the most important thing in the world and asked me if I was ready. I said yes, and then all of these images began to flash through my mind, slow at first and then faster and faster, I would later realize this as images described in the Bible, from Adam and Eve, through the present time, history flashing so fast that I couldn't grasp all that I was seeing.
<br>
<br>
What I did get from it is that God is in all things, no matter how miniscule, no matter how insignificant. I couldn't tell you how long I was there, a second, a minute, an eternity, but as quickly as it had started, it ended. The presence then told me that I'd been shown the most important thing the world has ever known, and that I was to remember and tell as many people that I could. The feeling that I had seen this once before was strong in me, I later likened it to what people are shown, before they are born into this world. I remember nodding my head, and then I was told that I was going to be put back into my body, and was reminded once again to remember and pass on what I had learned. And then 'BAM' there I was, standing outside the house on the front stoop.
<br>
<br>
Standing there with me, was another one of my friends, Wolfy, he had also dosed with us that evening. The conversation we had was chilling to me, to say the least.
<br>
<br>
He looked at me, cocked his head, and said 'Where'd ya go?'
<br>
<br>
I said, 'Wolf, you're never going to believe what just happened to me.' He kind of smiled and started to walk around me. I then told him that I thought I had just met God, and started going into some of the details of the experience.
<br>
<br>
He continued to pace around me, and again, smirked at me, and said 'You know, all that stuff you were just telling me... You don't want to remember that. The people and the Garden..' his speech began to speed up, '...the this and that.. You don't want to remember that' Every time he made a revolution around me, I felt as if I was forgetting a little bit more of what I'd been shown. Then suddenly, I felt this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I looked at him, and said 'Oh my god Wolf... you're Satan.' Again he smirked, winked at me, and walked into the house.
<br>
<br>
I stood outside for a bit, then myself walked into the house, most of the people at the party had wandered outside to the bonfire in the back. I went down into the finished basement, it was empty save me and I sat there for awhile... then I had this thought, that a girl I had met earlier in the night was going to come down the stairs, and say something about 'freaking me out'... and click... the door to the basement opened up and down the stairs the footsteps came. Sure enough, the girl walked around the corner and the first words out of her mouth were 'Hey Jeremy, I hope this doesn't freak you out but I know your ex..'
<br>
<br>
I said, 'I really don't mean to be rude, but you are freaking me out, I have to go.' And I walked up the stairs and began to make my way to the back door of the house, see if I could find some normality with the other party goers.
<br>
<br>
Just before I opened the sliding glass door I thought... 'Wolf is going to make a comment of peeing his pants'... I opened the back door, and as I stepped out onto the porch, Wolf stood up and wiped his leg, and said 'Oh my God, I think I just peed myself.'
<br>
<br>
I was beginning to feel very afraid, a sense of impending doom began to make a knot in the pit of my stomach, like the world was going to end. I kept looking out to the horizon for signs of a mushroom cloud or something, and I couldn't shake it. Then one of the girls sitting around the fire walked over to me, looked at me and said 'Don't ya get it?'
<br>
<br>
I said, 'Don't I get what?' It suddenly felt like she was making fun of me... She tapped another party goer on the shoulder and whispered something to him and giggled. I began to sense the presence of Evil at the party very strongly. She then looked at me again and said 'You really don't get it, huh?' Then another person stopped next to her and repeated the same thing.. 'Jay, you don't get it?' I had the sudden need to be far away from this place... The question began to travel through the party... 'DON'T YOU GET IT?' I could hear it as I walked back into the house following me, and no, at the time, I can honestly say that I didn't get it...
<br>
<br>
I called my parents house, and got my Mom, I told her that I needed someone to pick me up, told her where I was and that I wasn't feeling well, I needed to be around people I knew loved me. The question was still floating in my head... don't you get it?... I walked out the front door and was sat down next to my car.
<br>
<br>
The front door of the house opened, and my friend walked out, the one that was referring to his computer as 'god'. He asked how I was doing and I told him that I had called for a ride. We had some small talk and I was actually starting to feel a bit more normal. I was thinking of calling back and canceling my ride... and then a thought came into my head and told me that if I kept partying, I would die. I shook it off and began to get up, and all the hair on my body stood on end. My friend looked at me, and asked what was wrong...
<br>
<br>
I said, 'Don't you see it?'
<br>
<br>
He said, 'See what...?'
<br>
<br>
I said, 'Oh my God! Oh my God!' and began walking to the street... It had to of been in my minds eye, but I saw a fire in the sky, and pointed to it... it was growing, and growing... I dropped down to the ground and covered my head.
<br>
<br>
It passed over head with the sound of a thousand locomotives, and disappeared into the distance... At that moment, I knew that I had witnessed the end of the world. I turned an ashen white, at that moment, a car pulled up, it was my brother and his girlfriend. My Ma had sent them to come get me. I left the party that night, a changed person. I started going to church, something that since I've stopped as the church centered a lot around giving to get, and I didn't feel that was right, so now I just pray, and look to God to find the answers.
<br>
<br>
I don't really know what happened to me that night. It wasn't like any other trip that I've ever had before, and I had always had a good experience... I still couldn't tell if what happened that night was a good experience or not, but good or ill, it did change me. It was also the last time, that I took a hallucinogenic drug. I realized that there are some things, that us living humans are just not meant to experience.
<br>
<br>
I pray for the world, and hope that day, that is so sharply burnt into my memory, never comes to pass...
<br>
<br>
God Bless you all...<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1996</td><td width="90">ExpID: 53036</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 23, 2006</td><td>Views: 5,893</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=53036&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=53036&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Entities / Beings (37), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">3 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">180 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
The year was 1991 and it was the end of summer vacation before my Senior year in high school. A friend of mine in Santa Cruz had gotten a hold of some really potent LSD and invited me down. So I took a bus from Berkeley to go finally go on a 'real' trip.
<br>
<br>
Some background first. My friend, four years my senior, had been by neighbor since I was one year old. He introduced me to pot and LSD. Years of psychotherapy later I recognize him as having basically psychologically abused me through most of my childhood. His primary methods were physical dominance and verbal derision.
<br>
<br>
Anyhow, I arrived in Santa Cruz and quickly took three tabs of 'triple dipped' flying eyeballs. Aside from my friend there were two other roommates at the house, one a completely fried LSD lifer. It was nighttime.
<br>
<br>
Within an hour pattern hallucinations kicked in hard and I started getting really uncomfortable. I went for a walk with my friend and my anxiety levels started shooting through the roof. At one point I heard a nonstop stream of muttering coming from my friend saying what a loser I am, how I am a failure, on and on and on... I told him to stop it, and he acted like he didn't know what I'm talking about. I've no idea if it was entirely a hallucination or not.
<br>
<br>
We got back to his house and turned on some Bob Marley. He laid down on his bed and I in my sleeping bag just next to it. Immediately the music began to speak to me. There was a giant bubble of energy in the music and we were both connected to it by beams of energy from our solar plexus. I got really uncomfortable, this didn't make any sense to me! I realized that the last thing I wanted to do was be in communion with my friend whom I actually detested! Meanwhile good 'ol Bob was telling me 'I like it like this, I like it like this'.
<br>
<br>
It was too much for me to handle. I looked over at David and he immediately looked at me, like why did I break the connection? Then I saw him for what he really was, a giant rat person who had been feeding off of me for my entire life. Overload!
<br>
<br>
I laid back into my sleeping back and tried to go to sleep. I felt a gigantic bubble of consciousness overtake my small bubble, it assimilated me into it and took over. Suddenly I lost control of my body, my arms moved up across my chest and formed a cross like a mummy. My skin dried up as I decayed thousands of years in a few seconds... my sleeping bag became a sarcophagus. I died. Then suddenly I violently cringed into the fetal position. I was in the cosmic egg, surrounded by infinite layers of rainbow colored shells radiating out from me.
<br>
<br>
After this things get a bit hazy. I vaguely remember floating around the 'ether' talking with all sorts of different beings. I specifically remember meeting a group of people seeking the meaning of life, and some sort of guide who was with me asked me if I ever wondered what the meaning of life was.
<br>
<br>
This went on for some time. Eventually, a voice came to me and said 'don't you feel like screaming?' 'just let it out'. And yes, I did feel like screaming... this energy started growing in my solar plexus and I let out the loudest banshee scream humanly possible... ear shattering and throat tearing! Once it started I couldn't stop it, I just kept screaming and screaming at the absolute top of my lungs. Through all of this I was 99% unaware of the physical universe, I must have been so deep in my unconscious that my visual input was miniscule compared to the deep perceptions I was experiencing.
<br>
<br>
Then David, my friend, came up to me and told me that if I screamed one more time he would hit me so hard. This of course was a suggestion for me to scream again... and he clocked me square in the jaw. Then things got really interesting... in a bad way.
<br>
I fell... not just to the ground but into someone else’s body. I found myself inhabiting the body of a filthy, homeless black man who was high on heroin stumbling through some urban wasteland. This man walked down a street and eventually into a building. Walked up a flight of stairs where some people were playing cards. They commented on how 'fucked up that dude is'.
<br>
<br>
In my new body I proceeded down a hallway, opened a bathroom door, tripped and reached out to catch my fall. My hand landed on a heater that scalded it, I then fell over onto a small garbage can that was full of broken glass which deeply imbedded itself in my side. Then pain was as real as anything I had experienced in my normal life. I lay on the floor as blood oozed out of me into a pool. Someone opened the door behind me and it hit my head... I heard a woman's scream.
<br>
<br>
Then things changed again. I was surrounded by a red light and some shadowy figures came around me, propped me up and told me that what they were about to do to me was for my own good. They proceeded to break my neck, ripping my head off, kick me repeatedly, drop an anvil on my head, stab me, and basically murder me numerous times. If that wasn't enough, it happened all over again! Just like pressing rewind on a video tape I was the homeless guy again walking into the bathroom only to get impaled by the glass all over again.
<br>
<br>
Then the figures began murdering me over and over again. This cycle continued about a half dozen times. In desperation now, I had to get out of this situation. I figured out that by moving my teeth against each other I could control the entire experience like a VCR. I knew that if I could get my teeth to touch by a single atom that I could be rescued. During this time I found myself inside an ambulance and eventually in a hospital bed. I could hear the heart monitor beeping by the bedside.
<br>
<br>
After fiddling with my teeth for a while I gently woke up and found myself back in the house where the whole night started. I noticed there were only mild pattern hallucinations remaining and only about four and a half hours had passed.
<br>
<br>
I actually soon forgot about the entire ordeal. It wasn't until 3 weeks later when I took some mushrooms that GOD spoke to me through my solar plexus and told me that I had to return to that violent place, that it was my penance.
<br>
<br>
That was over 12 years ago and I still live with a fear of that place. I've been in the hospital a couple of times to manage what has now become a mild psychosis. I pretty much have permanent mild visuals all the time and a fair bit of anxiety.
<br>
<br>
I know I've felt alone for a long time... but with love and a lot of Yoga I've been able to make at least some peace with the whole ordeal like I never thought possible.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 1991</td><td width="90">ExpID: 30744</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Aug 27, 2006</td><td>Views: 9,583</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=30744&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=30744&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), HPPD / Lasting Visuals (40), Entities / Beings (37), Bad Trips (6)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance">Pharms - Lithium</td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(daily)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/dxm/">DXM</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">125 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It was after finishing my exams, I was getting ready for Christmas vacation, was tired from studying but very relaxed and happy to have the chance to trip. I had a cold, I'd been taking over the counter cough syrup (Nyquil and Dayquil) which had apparently elevated my Lithium levels (I didn't know there were certain over the counter drugs I was not supposed to take with Lithium). I took two hits of LSD that within 5 minutes it led to grand mal seizures that put me in the ICU for 3 days.
<br>
<br>
I personally don't remember the majority of the event, I remember taking the acid, feeling like something was wrong (anxious, a helicopter like booming noise) I thought it was my first 'bad trip' but luckily I didn't isolate myself but instead quickly went to a group of friends in a nearby dorm room. I sat back on their couch, tried to relax, things quickly swirled into unintelligible nonsense, noises sounded like the Charlie Brown teacher, and that's all I remember.
<br>
<br>
I've been told I stopped responding, fell off the couch, and starting seizing uncontrollably. I'm not sure how long the seizures lasted but from the ambulance report I was still having them all the way to the hospital and in the ER. I was given a spinal tap, cat scan, EKG, various drugs to stop the seizures, and admitted to the ICU where I stayed for 3 days. I remember bits and pieces from the ICU, and bits and pieces of the week following my release from the hospital. I had a lot of bruises, trouble walking, a very swollen chewed up tongue and was quite a mental and physical wreck for the next month, though conveniently it's not well remembered.
<br>
<br>
Within 6 weeks of the event I was mostly recovered taking classes at my college again, going to work, etc. though I was physically sore (bruises healing, hard to walk) for about 12 weeks total. It was diagnosed as a drug overdose in the reports from LSD though I think it was more the combination of LSD and elevated Lithium levels (dehydration goes with elevated levels as well as the possible reactivity with the LSD), and fatigue that lead to the seizures.
<br>
<br>
I have now (3 years later) been cleared as perfectly fine, though I do have some voltage asymmetry on EEGs it's nothing out of the ordinary. As the neurologist said 'I have a very healthy brain.' A month after the seizures I stopped taking the Lithium and have not taken any kind of prescription psychologically related drug. I am fully functional academically, socially, etc. without the use of antipsychotic drugs (Lithium). It turns out the prescription for Lithium in the first place was a misdiagnosis and a mistake on the part of the Doctor. Needless to say, I have not done any sort of illegal drug since that event.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2000</td><td width="90">ExpID: 31861</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Sep 1, 2006</td><td>Views: 20,979</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=31861&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=31861&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Pharms - Lithium (91) : Health Problems (27), Combinations (3), Hospital (36)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1.5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">8 bowls</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> </td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">10 shots</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol - Hard</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(liquid)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">103 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I have been a pretty big 'stoner' for about three years now. I had experienced some minor bad trips before, mostly in the form of delusional paranoia. When I first started smoking weed I always had great experiences, but after smoking heavily for an extended period of time the paranoia began to set in. I usually love the 'highs' I get from smoking weed; it makes me feel good, happy and comfortable with myself. I love when the smoke fills up my lungs and my mind goes somewhere else.
<br>
<br>
I'm from Colombia and I have to mention that it is pretty easy to get any kind of drugs down there. I was a really pot head for about a year and half, I used to smoke every single day after breakfast, lunch and dinner. I have also tried X, shrooms, acid and a bunch of Colombian herbs. I stopped doing any kind of drugs for a while, that was when my parents found out and put me into rehab and psychiatry sessions. (Which I think messed up my head even more).
<br>
<br>
When I got to the U.S. two years ago, I told myself that I was going to try to quit drugs but this idea didn't last very long until I met my friends (all pot heads, drug dealers and psychos).
<br>
<br>
Now the worst experience I had was on June 21st, 22nd, 23rd, 2003 a month ago. It was a Saturday night when we were all partying at G's apartment. M, E, RJ, G, me and C were tripping on acid and the others J, BB, B were just smoking. The hardest I have ever tripped was with 3 tabs last year but this time I took 1 and I was going insane. I took the first hit of blotter paper at 9:30pm and I shared the other one with C at 11:00pm. When I shared the last half hit the first hit was already kicking in and then we started to drink some orange juice.
<br>
<br>
RJ was our drug dealer and he used to get everything from N. (RJ's 'best friend', drug dealer, depressed guy, self-employed, 23 yrs. old) I've seen N maybe 4 or 5 times, we all have partied together and I've had maybe two conversations with him. So, back to Saturday night, we were all tripping, especially RJ and E they were tripping really hard. We were all taking Wild Turkey shots and smoking like crazy. By 3:00am I was on my 10th shot.
<br>
<br>
It was maybe 3:15 am and we decided to smoke another bowl in the living room. I started to feel really paranoid and because I was tripping and smoking since early in the afternoon my face and legs started to feel numb. I closed my eyes and laid on the floor, and then I had all these funny sensations. Funny pictures, they were all in beautiful colors. Greens and reds and yellows and they looked like Picasso's pictures. Doors opened up at triangular angles and there were all these colors' an unreal world. My head was going into crazy thoughts, I wanted to cry but I couldn't. We were listening to The Doors 'I can't see your face in my mind' (my favorite band and one of the best songs) but it lasted for ever, it felt like eternity, the same song over and over (this scene now comes up to my mind like flashbacks). I flew out of my own body and I could see myself in a way weirder than an out-of-body because I could see my body on the floor and I could see my soul floating above my body all from a different perspective.
<br>
<br>
Everything shifted into cartoon form and looked really fucked up. Everything became 2-D and flat. The part of me that was floating above my body changed form so it was in 2-D. One of its eyes became a spinning spiral while the other became a flickering eye, which shot occult symbols out (the symbols were constantly floating around the head). Then the soul's head began spinning. Finally the face stayed the same, and I realize that it was my best friend's face from Colombia and she was trying to hug me but she couldn't.
<br>
<br>
<br>
Then it became my 'soul's face' again and it jumped back into my body. After that all I could hear was Jim Morrison's voice going 'Insanity's horse adorns the sky, can't seem to find the right lie, carnival dogs consume the lines, can't see your face in my mind' over and over and over'I stood up and went to G's room and laid on the couch while G, C, E, M, D and RJ laid on the bed.
<br>
<br>
Suddenly the door opened and it was N, he was crying, nervous and shaking. He went to the room were we all were talking and laughing at ourselves. He slammed the door and started to freak out. 'I can't deal with this anymore, I can't handle this, I'm going nuts, my head it's all fucked up' etc This is when my trip turned absolutely crazy. I was in the couch and I was upside down, my feet were on the wall and my head was sort of tilted. I felt my eyes coming out of my face, I moved and then I sat normally. N started to yell at RJ 'you got to get up, you have to help me with this they went to the bathroom but the door was open so we all saw what was happening in the bathroom. N took a huge ass bag out of his pants, it was full of everything, little plastic bags full of weed, crack, pills it had everything and he gave it to RJ. 'Sell this for me; you're going to have to call a bunch of customers.' and he gave him the bag and a phonebook.
<br>
<br>
They got out of the bathroom and RJ was freaking out, N took out a gun and started to pointed at himself, he was crying 'I can't do this anymore, I'm way too fucked up, I want to die' RJ didn't know what to do and he tried to tell N to give him the gun so he could be killed by a professional killer. N was going crazy and he pointed the gun at everyone of us, screaming at each other and crying hysterically. At that moment I had a feeling that someone was sticking their high-heeled shoe into my hand. But I couldn't feel it. I moved my hand and they were wet (that's what I felt). I was seeing fire and N's face looked all blurred. I was freaking out. I tried to tell C what I was feeling but I couldn't manage to articulate my words enough to do so.
<br>
<br>
RJ and N were arguing for a while. I think it was 4:10 when they left. We all decided to smoke a blunt at 4:20am and play traffic lights (where you can't exhale until the blunt gets back to you)' I went to sleep at 4:45am I had to sleep on the floor, I was still tripping really hard and I felt really uncomfortable on the floor so I started to think that I was sleeping on a cloud, it felt so good and nice, I wasn't cold or hot, I wasn't happy or sad, I wasn't here or dreaming, when all of the sudden I began to cry, I was bowling my eyes so hard that I had to go and wake C up.
<br>
<br>
I hugged her and told her how bad I felt for this kid N. We were sitting on the closet in front of G's bed we were crying so hard that he woke up and gave us a hug and something to drink. We fell asleep probably at 5:30am. I had the weirdest dream ever. I woke up at 11:00am on Sunday and G was crying in the bathroom. Everyone woke up, RJ never got back. We didn't know what had happened the night before until M told us that N killed himself. It was sad, crazy and unbelievable.
<br>
<br>
D, B, J, C and me went to Denny's to get something to eat. When we got back to G's apt. the police was waiting for us. I was so scared because I'm 17 yrs old, my mom didn't know what I was doing that night and if the police would've found any kind of drugs in G's apt. they would definitely send me back to Colombia and messed up my residence papers. They took us and asked us a bunch of questions individually. Nick (N) committed suicide on June 22nd while he was on acid, crack, xanax, alcohol and weed. Rich Bonet (RJ) saw him shoot himself. The police found the gun in the pond because RJ panicked and threw it in the lake.
<br>
<br>
That whole entire week (June 21-June27) was the craziest and fucked up week I have ever had in my short life. Now every time we smoke a blunt, joint, bong or we take a shot we do it in memory of Nick. We all went to the memorial which was pretty sad. All that I can remember now is his face when I was in the couch upside down. I could see really weird shit. Like the bullet from the gun penetrating my brain and blood all over. I saw everything and everyone in cartoon form. When we were smoking our last bowl at 4:20 I felt how the smoke intensely filled up my lungs. I remember every single detail. I have also had flashbacks, trails, and mild ego dissolutions since then, that was the last time I tripped.
<br>
<br>
RJ left and E became our new drug. G got kicked out from his apt. and he's now living with at E's house. The rest of us keep smoking and trying to live.
<br>
<br>
I sincerely hope this will help somebody in some way. Know yourself and your environment. Don't do too much shit! Enjoy life and be happy or die trying.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 25547</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 9, 2006</td><td>Views: 63,216</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=25547&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=25547&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Alcohol - Hard (198), Cannabis (1), LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Train Wrecks &amp; Trip Disasters (7)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/alcohol/">Alcohol</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 24:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b> </b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 48:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">145 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
Hi, my name is Cheryl, I'm a 31 year old stay at home mom. Prior to this time I had done one hit of LSD five years ago and had a good time with it...it took forever to come down-I felt the effects the next day but otherwise good. I had smoked pot maybe 5 times in my life, I liked to drink to have fun...I don't believe you have to do drugs to have fun. I had suffered from depression on and off throughout my life and in the last 10 years had experienced some panic attacks. This is my story:
<br>
<br>
In the end of August 2003 my husband and I went to Jamaica for his friends wedding. I was anxious about the trip...leaving my kids (a boy 6 and a girl 3) but he really wanted me to go. Two weeks before the trip I started taking an antidepressant and decided not to take it the week we were in Jamaica. The day before we left I had a really bad feeling about the trip and left a letter for my kids in case something happened to us, telling them how I loved them, etc. (I wish now I had just stayed home...but listen..)
<br>
<br>
The first day in Jamaica I got really drunk on their Banana Daquiris and the next day I had the worst hangover of my life. So I decided I would smoke pot (very uncharacteristic of me) all day since I couldn't drink. Then the next night I made the biggest mistake of my life. My husband and his friends were sitting around the pool and offered me some acid. I was on vacation, I figured what the hell. Well his friend gives me two hits of acid, one brown, one white. That is when my Hell began.
<br>
<br>
After taking the LSD and sitting around for a while I remember walking around with him and a couple of his friends and everything feeling out of touch. When we went back to our room and layed down it was like I went inside myself and I felt different personalities emerging and I felt that my husband was trying to pick the one he wanted. I was overcome with a fear that the real me was dying and that my husband was evil and the devil was coming into me. That was the first of many hallucinations I had for the next 3 months.
<br>
<br>
We got home safely from Jamaica and I was still out of it... 2 days after getting home I was admitted to the Mental Ward for 10 days. I was assigned a Pyschiatrist and he diagnosed me with LSD-induced Psychosis. That was the first of five trips (each was about a week long) to the Mental Ward from September through the end of November. The time I spent there was an experience in itself too. Many different kinds of people there-drug addicts, suicidal people, severely depressed people. It was not what I had always believed-people wearing the white jacket.
<br>
<br>
I was on three different antipsychotic drugs...one, I think it was Haldol...made me a zombie and I was so depressed becuase during all those months I couldn't take care of my children (had to go to daycare during the day), I couldn't even drive a car-it came to a point that I just wanted to commit suicide. I couldn't do that though because the love I have for my children carried me through. My nurses can attest to that - I forgot my own name one time I was in the hospital but I knew I had my kids.
<br>
<br>
Well here it is May 2004 and I have not went Psychotic since the end of November and I have been off anti-psychotic meds for 6 weeks. Right now I am just on Zoloft (anti-depressant) and Depakote (controls mania). But I have been severely depressed and have no energy and have gained 24 pounds in the last 5 months. I have been living in fear of relapsing and disrupting my children's lives again and being locked up in the mental ward again. Last night I had such a vivid nightmare I woke up and had a full blown panic attack...It was like reliving my ordeal in Jamaica with my 'personalities'. My pyschologist made me feel much better today. She said anyone that has lived through a tramatic experience will have times that are tougher than others. Its kind of like I have post-traumatic syndrome now.
<br>
<br>
On top of all I've mentioned above we have hospital bills totalling about $2000 (insurance only pays 30 inpatient days) and the added cost of daycare for my children for the 3 months I couldn't take care of them. It ended up being a VERY expensive 'trip'.
<br>
<br>
Sorry this is such a long story but I have wanted my voice to be heard on this subject and I have found an outlet here. I don't believe anyone should try LSD. There is also the fact I quit taking my anti-depressent and smoked pot the day before dosing that may have added to the damage LSD caused me. But I believe and more importantly, my pyschiatrist believes, this wouldn't have happened had I not done the LSD. I'll never underestimate anything that can have an effect on my mental stability and I warn everyone that reads this to think about it too. Even if the chance is one in a thousand of this happening to you...do you want to gamble with your mind?
<br>
<br>
Thank god I got mine back...I'm just praying my brain chemicals are back where they are supposed to be and stay there.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 33340</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 11, 2006</td><td>Views: 11,786</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=33340&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=33340&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : Depression (15), Post Trip Problems (8), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br></td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">145 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
I was planning on taking a hit of 2C-I at this show in NYC. A friend of mine brought it down in a big bottle of vodka, so I transferred it to small, airplane sized plastic bottle. Unbeknownst to me, the bottle's cap was cracked, and the whole thing spilt out into my pocket. I was pretty bummed. But we got to the show, I was having a good time, and I decided to hunt around for something else I could do, maybe a hit of shrooms. Me and my friend searched the entire theatre, but everybody came up dry. Eventually, we stumbled upon this man, perhaps in his 40's, who my friend began to chat with. The guy didn't have shrooms, but liked my friend enough that he decided to rip of a few hits of acid from his own stash and give them to us for free. Unlikely, but it happened.
<br>
<br>
I wasn't really prepared to do acid, I hadn't thought I was going to, but I figured I wanted something to do, and although I didn't know exactly what the dose was, it was sure to be low, so I dosed it. This was approximately 9:00, just after the first set. We had orchestra seats, but the sound was better up in the balcony, so we headed up there to trip, with a few of our other friends. I was a little nervous, but I wasn't feeling anything, even by the end of the show. I realized I had trouble holding my cigarette, but wrote it off to excitement (I was grooving the music pretty hard). Remember, this is my first experience with acid, or even any hallucinogen for that matter. I noticed a energy boost, a mood elevation too, but like I said, I wrote it off to just having a good time at a good show. I didn't have any visuals, so I didn't think I was tripping.
<br>
<br>
So the show ended(11:00), and to tell the truth, even without thinking I was tripping, I felt more connected to people. Lots of friends from my school were there, and I just felt like saying 'hi' and hugging all of them. Anyway, when I got outside where the lights from the show weren't flashing and the atmosphere was a little more stable, I started to feel something. It was somewhat like the feeling you get when you've been in a room with a strobe light...kinda zonked. People began to tell me my pupils were HUGE and I accepted that I was tripping. I still didn't really have any visuals, but things did look a bit different.
<br>
<br>
Lights shimmered a little and seemed brighter (makes sense if my pupils are big). More than anything else, I noticed a good deal of confusion. Trying to get into the subway with the ticket machine broken was ridiculously difficult. The door some people walk through to get OUT of the subway opened...and somehow I ended up on the other side, and not getting caught by the cops (lucky me).
<br>
<br>
Also, I couldn't stop smiling or laughing, non-stop. I felt good...I felt...spun. I was tripping. I was a real head trip, no visuals, but I was really in a different state of mind. I was waling around New York City, looking at the sky, the sky-scrapers, and just talking to people on the street, having a good time. I smoked a lot of cigarettes too, it felt good. So that was good, I guess...but it was also a little uncomfortable. I had so much energy I didn't know what to do with it. It was good at the show, but on the train and trying to go to bed for two and a half hours was pretty annoying. I ended up reading Dostoyevesk's Crime and Punishment, which was pretty awesome, especially while tripping.
<br>
<br>
When I woke up the next morning, I was kinda burnt. I wasn't really tired (I was later in the day) but I was different. I saw things differently, so it seemed. I was thinking differently and I felt a stronger connection to reality. It's really hard to explain. It wasn't a bad experience at all, but it wasn't 'glowing'.
<br>
<br>
So that's it. It wasn't awesome, it wasn't terrible, it was good.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2003</td><td width="90">ExpID: 28869</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Oct 21, 2006</td><td>Views: 6,887</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=28869&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=28869&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
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</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2) : First Times (2), Festival / Lg. Crowd (24)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">5 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 3:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> </td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">120 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
It had been decided. The five of us would trip together. My not yet husband and I, and 3 close, experienced babysitters. We didn't see them that way, but that's what they were.
<br>
<br>
We drove up a familiar dirt road, into the mountains. Mr. K lotted out the acid (on blotter strips) about a half hour into the drive. Ten hits a piece for he and Mr. B, seven hits for Ms.C and five a piece for my husband and I. Five hits was a healthy dose. Especially for a couple of first timers, but our conditions and company were ideal so intensity wasn't a worry. Like I said the others were experienced and respectful trippers so they dosed according to their known tollerance and personal whims.
<br>
<br>
(6:40am ish?)
<br>
So we've eaten the acid. For some reason I was a bit nervous and wouldn't swallow the paper. I chewed until it simply disapeared from my mouth. It took about thirty/fourty-five minutes before we found a place everyone was happy with. Far enough a way from the road to avoid anyone disturbing us (or vise versa), and on a slope with an appropriate view of the city. The view was really quite spectacular and the sun was about 20 minutes away form rising.
<br>
<br>
As soon as we had set down our orange juice, and weed and whatever other little things they brought, Mr. B and Ms. C began to set the mood of the trip. I don't know if they did it on purpose or if it was just their keen acid instinct, but they knew exactly how to focus our attention on the rise of the trip without really focusing us on it at all. Rather than letting the acid hit us like a ton of bricks (which it tends to do) they suggested that we see certain things.
<br>
'Look at the tracers the grass makes...'
<br>
'If you can look at the sun...'
<br>
'Do you see the different colors in this bush?...'
<br>
<br>
At first no. Not really. But this process of looking for differences in my perception before the trip started was a gentle glide into the experience. It was like a subconcious little meditation that they were privy to.
<br>
<br>
The sun was amazing. I saw it as a ball of fire. Not just a bright yellow circle. Pulsing, throbbing, pure energy. So I start playing in the dirt a little. (+ 1hr) Just poking at it with a stick and pulling up tiny roots. I saw how the spruce were one big organism. Not seperate trees, but individual sproutings from an ancient root system covering the entire mountain range. Seperately, individally experiencing parts of one mass.
<br>
<br>
Our friends kept us focused on some of the more amusing aspects of LSD. The hightened visual experience. The goofy nature of reality. The hysterical laughter that seems to accompany the trip. The way time feels. Or doesn't feel. Thinking back they treated us a little bit like children. Which is good for the newbie.
<br>
<br>
Every possible reality opened to me. Some scared me and some thrilled me. Sometimes the idea of more than one reality became quite frightening. Other times it felt quite spiritual. Our babysitters stood infront of the negative and eminated positive. The way you might save a child from a horror movie until they are mature enough to understand it isn't anything to be afraid of. The movie still exists, but not to the child. They saw the importance of the initial positive experience.
<br>
<br>
My trip was mostly mental. I did have visuals. For example, there were a lot of jets out flying that day. Military, commercial, whatever. We would all stare at the sky together when they flew over. I could see the air split in front of a little fighter jet...the way it pushed throught the sky. It looked like the under side of a speedboat in the water at a few hundred miles an hour. Brilliant spirals of translucent color trailed the engines of a banking cargo plane.
<br>
<br>
When we were all very still and quiet, I would watch the wind splash against the foothills and follow its tide up the mountain for about fifteen seconds before it reached us. A bee. Glistening pollen. I could see every spec on the tiny legs. It had a fuzzy body that I really found funny. I threw a couple big sticks and watched them crash. I admired the crystals on some very nice buds before we smoked them. The weed tasted fantastic (+3 hr?)and it gave you quite a head high. The orange juice we brought would give a nice boost. The citris was really pleasant tasting and I could feel a little vibration in my spine for a few minutes after each swallow. A lot of color...not so much seen but percived. Like direct infusion to the brain without wasting time with the eyes.
<br>
<br>
I wasn't sure how to act around the other trippers. It was like being a loud drunk at wine tasting at first. I could sense that there was a way to deal with this, but had no concept of how. I just reacted. We laughed in a merry-go-round for quite a while on several different occations. I cried once. Time didn't mean anything. I gave up caring when I asked the time after what seemed like an eternity from the first time I asked and the minute hadn't even changed. The second time I asked, it had been two hours in what felt to me like two minutes. I marvled at the concept of it for a moment and mentally moved on.
<br>
<br>
Like I said, my trip was mostly mental. Or psychic I guess. I came upon bits of infused knowledge. Simple things that an older, wiser person could have called common knowledge, but to a twenty year old was a great time saver. A lot of the things that came to my mind were confusing at first, or even in direct contrast to a (childish) firmly held belief that I thought so superior. Most of what I recieved durring the trip didn't process until later. I mostly saw how wrong I had been. I saw what a spoiled little primadonna I had become. How I DID judge despite my rightious belief that I was a fair person. Where and how I took advantage of people. And the result of continuing life in this deluded way.
<br>
<br>
In the end the whole thing was wonderful. We stayed on the one mountain and talked and laughed for about 8 or 9 hours. The trip was very safe and private and nurturing. Ms. K even went to work at six that evening and did just fine.
<br>
<br>
Acid opened my mind to everything. The fall of ego can be terrifying to SOME people. I see it as a healthy realignment of perception. Even if I had a bad trip...who cares? Could anything that bad actually happen to me? Or would I just whitness to the greater workings and possibilities of the mind and the universe? When a kitten is kept in a back room until it is an adult, the sudden introduction of the front yard may yeild two responses...
<br>
<br>
fear and retreat to the saftey of the known.
<br>
or curiosity and intrest in the possiblities in the unknown.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2002</td><td width="90">ExpID: 37631</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Female</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Nov 28, 2006</td><td>Views: 8,263</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=37631&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=37631&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">Guiding (184), LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Guides / Sitters (39), Nature / Outdoors (23), First Times (2)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
|
<div class="report-text-surround">
<table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" align="right" border="0">
<tr><td></td><td width="15"> </td></tr>
</table>
<!-- DoseChart -->
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#224422" class="dosechart">
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right">DOSE:<br> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">20 mg</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">insufflated</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/pharms/oxycodone/">Pharms - Oxycodone</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(pill / tablet)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">1 bowl</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 4:30</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center">2 hits</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">oral</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/chemicals/lsd/">LSD</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(blotter / tab)</b></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td width="90" align="right"> T+ 0:00</td>
<td width="90" class="dosechart-amount" align="center"> repeated</td>
<td class="dosechart-method" align="center">smoked</td>
<td class="dosechart-substance"><a href="/plants/cannabis/">Cannabis</a></td>
<td class="dosechart-form"><b>(plant material)</b></td>
</tr>
</table>
<br>
<table border="2" cellpadding="4" cellspacing="0" bordercolor="#444455" class="bodyweight">
<tr>
<td width="110" class="bodyweight-title">BODY WEIGHT:</td>
<td width="80" class="bodyweight-amount">130 lb</td>
</tr>
</table>
<br><br>
<!-- End DoseChart -->
<!-- Start Body -->
This all started with Spring Break. I went to visit one of my buddies in a neighboring city a few days before the start of Spring Break. While I was visiting I ended up purchashing an Oxycontin 80mg. I snorted roughly 60mg while I was in town and saved the last 20mg for a 'rainy day.' Well this happened Thursday night and I arrived home Friday midday.
<br>
<br>
Warning - Drug combinations don't always turn out pleasant.
<br>
<br>
At around 3pm after I'd awoken from my nap I decided to snort the last 20mg I had and then smoke a bowl of chronic. I had also purchased 5.2 grams of dank while I was out of town. I snorted the oxy and then smoked the bowl. Around 5 minutes after I smoked the bowl I was pretty wasted. I have had a high tolerance to opiates in the past but for some reason this small dosage really got to me.
<br>
<br>
I ended up leaving my house at around 5pm and hung out with my friends D and W. D told me, after we'd been driving around for about ten minutes, that he'd sell me two hits of acid. Well, I do love my acid so I bought them both and dropped them at around 7:30pm. Now, the really weird part about all of this is what happened next.
<br>
<br>
I could still feel the oxycontin for some reason. It usually wears off in about 3 hours or less but even after I ate the acid, I could still feel it. I felt the acid start hitting me at around 8-8:30pm. But the come up was different than it usually is, instead of feeling the 'up' and giddiness of LSD, I felt the oxycontin kick in again. It was probably the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me on an acid trip. It was like I had just gotten done snorting it all over again, like the LSD re-activated the remaining oxycodone in my system. Pretty soon I felt like I couldn't walk.
<br>
<br>
The acid I'd gotten from D was fairly strong and soon I was tripping my absolute nuts off. The oxy feeling wore off at about 9:30pm, finally. It was then that the confusion started. Acid has a way of getting into my head and making me think crazy thoughts. I was sitting in my friends room smoking tree and watching television when all of a sudden a car pulled up to his house. It was a relative, and we had to hide the pot before he came in. Once he left, I couldn't find my bag. I was totally convinced the people in the house were fucking with me and hiding my weed. As it turns out, it had just been misplaced. While we were in the house I felt the first waves of visuals and emotions that usually hit me on acid.
<br>
<br>
A blanket of rainbow-colored lights descended on the carpet and the titles of books seems to beam out like halos from the shelf. The faces on the TV shift and collapsed in on themselves. The walls twisted and made waves like an ocean. Finally, when it was time to leave the house, I looked at the stars. The moon was particularly bright and the stars looked an erie shade of green. As we drove away, the trees rose out of the ground to meet the sky and I felt very small and perhaps insignificant.
<br>
<br>
My sober driver transported me across town to a neighborhood that was fairly quiet. At least, it's a place where you can get high in peace. And that we surely did, I noticed later that I had easily smoked a gram that night. So after that I decided I might as well go back home and ride out my trip. I arrived home to find the house empty, my parents were obviously still out and as I was in college anyway it didn't really matter. I started to walk around the house and noticed that it felt like I was wading through some kind of muck.
<br>
<br>
All of a sudden I had a vision in my head of all of my childhood problems. The muck represented all of the bad things that had happened in this house when I was younger. I had been going through a lot emotionally and I figured this was just the acid getting in my head again. I sat out on my porch for a long time smoking cigarettes and trying to maintain. I pulled my stereo onto the porch with me and put on some moe. to try and calm me down. Eventually, at about one am, I went back into my room. It had only been about four hours since I started tripping and I knew I still couldn't sleep.
<br>
<br>
I watched TV for a good three hours trying to stay sane. Every once in a while the thoughts in my head would gain a voice of their own. It felt like there was someone else invading my skull and trying to shout down my opinions. It was a very odd feeling. Every time I drop acid it only reinforces my original opinion about the drug; that it makes you go crazy.
<br>
<br>
I'm not sure why the oxycontin and LSD reacted to each other the way they did but I don't recommend that combination to anyone. Coming down from oxycodone and coming up on acid at the same time will fuck with your head. You feel the shitty after-effects of the opiate along with the coming up effects of LSD and it all leads to confusion and frustration. LSD and cannabis is probably your best bet if you're going to combine anything.
<br>
<br>
I thought it might be useful for some people if I wrote what I had combined with acid and its results.
<br>
<br>
LSD+Cannabis - makes the trip more bearable and amusing, tends to intensify visuals and takes the edge off
<br>
<br>
LSD+Alcohol - can be fun on the come down, although being drunk in the middle of a trip can be really disorienting
<br>
<br>
LSD+Cocaine - tends to make people megalomaniacal and can be very dangerous, because you can feel every individual drug you do on LSD, you also feel the come down from cocaine, and the LSD only intensifies the craving for the drug
<br>
<br>
LSD+Opiates - see above
<br>
<br>
LSD+Valium/Xanax - Although this does take the edge off of a trip, it can also lead to more problems, coming down from valium and xanax while on an acid trip can make you extremely irritable
<br>
<br>
LSD+MDMA - candyflipping can be fun and it can be intense, I don't recommend it but I did have a good time
<br>
<br>
All in all, I think LSD is best when it is taken by itself or with cannabis. All other drugs seem to get in the way of the wonderful experience acid can be.<!-- End Body -->
<br><br style="clear:both;">
<table border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="footdata">
<tr><td width="700">Exp Year: 2005</td><td width="90">ExpID: 41565</td></tr>
<tr><td>Gender: Male</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Age at time of experience: Not Given</td><td> </td></tr>
<tr><td>Published: Dec 7, 2006</td><td>Views: 44,535</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2" align="center">[ <a href="exp.php?ID=41565&amp;format=pdf" type="text/pdf">View as PDF (for printing)</a> ] [ <a href="exp_pdf.php?ID=41565&amp;format=latex">View as LaTeX (for geeks)</a> ]
[ <a href="#" onclick="expChangeColors(); return false;">Switch Colors</a> ]
</td></tr>
<tr><td colspan="2">LSD (2), Oxycodone (176) : Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)</td></tr>
<!-- <img src="/images/new.gif" alt="May"> -->
</table>
</div>
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