README.md

metadata

title: Tend & Send - The ARI Toolkit
emoji: 💜
colorFrom: red
colorTo: purple
sdk: docker
pinned: false
license: mit

Tend & Send - The ARI Toolkit

ARI (Assistive Relational Intelligence) is a suite of tools built around TEND - designed to help you show up more fully in difficult conversations.

These tools exist to support YOUR relationship. ARI never becomes the relationship - it augments human-to-human connection.

The ARI Toolkit

Express

• SEND - Send your message to your partner
• TEND - Transform your message with clarity and warmth
• PRACTICE NVC - Guided I-statement builder

Regulate

• SOMA - Body check-in. What does your body know?
• LOVE - Slow down, breathe, return to presence
• GROUND - 5-4-3-2-1 senses. Orient to the present

Understand

• FEEL - Identify feelings in the conversation
• NEED - Extract underlying needs
• STORY - "The story I'm making up..." Own your narrative

Reconnect

• REPAIR - Craft genuine repair after ruptures
• APPRECIATE - Catch the good. What's working?
• WISDOM - Draw from sacred texts and grounded wisdom

Practice Conversations

• Choose attachment style: Anxious, Avoidant, Disorganized, Secure
• Set difficulty level: Gentle to Crisis
• Partner responds like a real person (not a therapist)

Clinical Foundation

Informed by:

• Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg)
• Gottman Method (5:1 ratio, bids for connection)
• Attachment Theory
• Brené Brown (vulnerability, "the story I'm making up")
• Somatic awareness practices
• Trauma-informed design principles

Created By

Jocelyn Skillman, LMHC

Reflection prompts only - not therapy. If in crisis, contact a professional.