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"Oh, gosh.
Oh!" And he's slipping, and the anesthesia hasn't kicked in fully.
- Oh, my...
- So you're feeling it all, and he's like, "Oh, no!
What's happening?"
And inside your brain's just going, "Oh, God!
He's cutting my penis!
"Oh!
He slit the side of it!
Oh, it's all n..."
Now the doctor's freaking out, right?
The doctor's freaking out. "I got to hide the evidence!"
- Oh, no.
No.
- No, it's not gonna get...
You... he's... don't listen to him.
Your dick gonna get chewed.
Hey!
Don't you dare listen to this bro-life propaganda.
I don't know, that could happen.
I did my research.
It's poppycock is what it is.
I don't even know.
I don't know anymore.
I mean, I-I don't even know if I'm bro-choice, dude.
You can't back out now, man!
I've already made so many plans with the new penis, all right?
I've already got an appointment over at sears.
I'm gonna take some very, very tasteful nudes, and I don't want to jinx it, but they might be our Christmas card.
You got a choice to make.
You either keep your dick, or you keep your friend.
- You pick your dick.
- I don't know.
- How am I supposed to decide that?
- Think about it!
- You make... what?
- Keep your dick.
Karl, here's $100 from our budget, if you do it.
- Oh, hell, yeah.
- Thank you.
That's great. $100.
Have you ever seen this amount of money in your life?
Best of luck in there, pal.
Thank you, Ders.
Thank you.
Thank you, Karl.
I can't wait to have...
your dick.
You're gonna love it.
First day of the rest of my life.
So you know that I don't support this in any way, right?
- Yeah.
- But I really hope you don't die on me, man.
Thank you, Adam.
I'd like to get hard for one last time.
- Makes sense.
All right, boys.
Let's give him a little space here.
Mom from Home Improvement.
Mother from Home Improvement.
Oh, she's so freakin' hot.
Oh.
Wow.
Holy moly.
Jill Taylor.
She'll chub you.
Hidy ho, patients!
Karl, you're fully prepped.
Let's get you into surgery.
Dead dick walking!
- You can back out now!
- It's gonna be yours.
- I'll be right back.
♪ Been looking for ♪
[Shrill laugh] Oh, my God!
I can't believe this is happening.
This is real life right now.
Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
I go everywhere Dr. Johnson goes.
Ah, well, how about we go where my Dr. Johnson is?
- In my boxer briefs...
Except for I'm not wearing any right now, 'cause I'm out of detergent, so I didn't even do any laundry.
God, as soon as I met you,
I knew we were gonna be sucking each other's dicks.
Totally.
Oh, wait.
Oh, hold on.
Wait.
Sucking each other's...
I-I'm one of Dr. Johnson's patients as well as his assistant.
I'm female to male transgender, so I haven't gotten my boobs removed yet, but downstairs, it's New Dick City.
Yeah!
New Dick...
New Dick City?
New Jack City.
I love that movie, but I don't know if I would see new dick city as a film.
I don't know if that's up my alley 'cause, you know, I'm not into...
I'm not into dudes.
Oh, I... the way you were eating those hot dogs, I just...
It was a homosexual way to eat hot dogs.