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I haven't gone on here in awhile and I wasn't planning on coming back until my OCD got better, but I'm freaking out and I need help. I was in CVS trying to buy earbuds and a micro usb and I took my company bike there. There was a truck in the parking lot, so I was worried that it would get stolen, but I decided to leave it outside anyway. I was very paranoid in the store and tried to get everything as fast as possible, but once I grabbed the earbuds, my OCD told me to bolt over and check if the bike was stolen. I did it again after that when I grabbed my micro usb, to a bit of a lesser extent. I was very close to running under the alarm out the door, so now I'm terrified that people will check security cameras and think that I'm a suspect and get me arrested and fired from my jobs. I didn't trigger it, but I feel like the people at CVS will report me to the police and the police will scan my face and get my ID and track me down even though I technically didn't commit a crime. Will I be okay? | OCD |
Since being diagnosed about three months ago (and finding this reddit forum) I'm beginning to become more self aware. I'm noticing that I can see signs of my next obsession beginning. Is there a way to stop it? Can you break your focus away from something and move on before you exhaust it or should I just let it go.
It's kind of embarrassing though because I do so much research on a topic, constantly talk about it to my husband and then completely drop it and forget all of the facts I learned about it. | ADHD |
OCD Questions
I have chronic emetophobia and my mom has been thinking it might be an expression of OCD, I’ve always thought that my rituals were Autism but there could be a co-morbidity and overlap of the two.
I have certain behaviors I express over the contamination of foods, I hyper check for mold and expiration dates, if someone is sick I will freak out and panic, any sign of nausea or stomach discomfort and I spiral, I can only eat safe foods most of the time. If I touch someone or something I think is germy I feel like I can feel the germs like a dirt or slime on my hands. When in public everything is dirty or germy and I heavily rely on hand sanitizer. I avoid people in public. Public restrooms are a no go, I never go into them.
I have other things too, I really like even numbers and keep my Pinterest boards and Spotify playlist on even numbers. But not six or two don’t like six or two.
I would appreciate insight. Thank you :) | OCD |
I have Asperger. Have my 15 year aniversary with the diagnosis next year.
They say asperger gets easier with age, but I am now 23 and still struggle. I have been fixating on a woman for 5 years, we went out for a year, lived together 2 years, then she decided to just be friends. She has since moved in with her new boyfriend. I know everything is over, but, I still keep my life on hold for her. Every time she calls I pick up, every time she is nearby I drop what I am doing to be with her.
All I want to do is to not be with her, she makes my life worse. But the rest of my life is really shit, so being with her is the best part of a miserable existence.
How can I solve this? preferably without hurting her, although I know that objectively she is a bad person. | aspergers |
So I’m gonna be 25 soon, quarter life crisis time! Yeah I’m not sure what my true passion lies if I’m being honest. Working as a therapist is alright, but eh. Could be better. My off time is mostly games, YouTube, anime and being on here. I guess besides getting an apartment with a friend, I don’t have that much in terms of achievable life goals, or I don’t feel the motivation. Would love to have enough money to always be finically stable, but that’s not gonna happen anytime soon. Would love to travel the world with friends, more obtainable but not anytime soon (covid). Going camping or being around nature a lot is another one, none of my friends want to and I don’t want to do it alone. Besides that, I just really don’t know what I want from life, and that kinda bums me out. I feel like adhd affects this, therefore why I’m here. Anyone feel the same? Anyone got any useful advice (medicated, therapy, exercise, and yes even mindfulness)? | ADHD |
I am hoping to hear other people's experiences on starting Adderall XR.
I am restarting Adderall XR because I want to give it a serious chance for a few weeks/months. I tried once before and while it has very positive benefits that helped alleviate my adhd symptoms, its also incredibly stimulating and make it hard to sleep. Im on 10 mg only and it makes me feel like I am low-key high on coke/meth. Like sure it feels great. But I don't want this to be my life every damn day. It flat out feels like it cant be good for my health.
Does the over-stimulating high from Adderall ever go away as your body adapts and just leave you with the good stuff like being able to focus and have a functioning reward center? Because the benefits are wonderful. Its like my brain is finally in gear and I can actually *do* things. But the over-stimulating feeling is uncomfortable. | ADHD |
I know that its just in my head but this shit is literally has made life hell for me ;
whenever i'm with a girl and i happen to know we would go to bed the night , i get this overwhelming thoughts that what would happen if I wouldn't be able to get it hard enough for penetration and boom it happens everytime .
so everytime instead of enjoying the company of her i suffer from fear of having ED ,
to the extent that i must take a blue pill before the possibility of having sex with someone .
These thoughts has lingered in my head to the extent that i think i can't be alright anymore and i think don't deserve having normal sex :/ ;
and goddamn , they all started from one simple thought 3 years ago that what would happen if I couldnt get it up ;
Just imagine how my world has been for these years , i'm literally crippled,
it someone have had the same experience please help me out. | OCD |
My husband has extreme ptsd. The VA is no help, of course, they give him pills but no actual therapy. So basically, it's on me, and I need help. They changed his pills and things have gone nuts, to put it shortly. I am the reason he has a future career. I don't say that to brag, but to emphasis that if I were not in his life, he would be back on the streets. He skated homelcuteessness once, he will again. A big part of his ptsd are the flashbacks and mistreatment of women. At that point, someone with commant must tell him to be at ease.I can't,it has to be a man.I am at a loss. | ptsd |
I have to be here for my family. My friends will be okay, but my family needs me. But why does it have to be so hard? When will I want to stay for myself? I’m so tired and angry and sad. I’m so, I’m so, I’m so tired. | depression |
you know what sucks? having pure ocd (the taboo shit) but also worrying that other people can hear your thoughts. and i know that "they cant" but my brain is like "oh but what if theyre just not telling you bc it'd hurt your feelings" and im just like {:\[ | OCD |
How do you rebuild relationships with people who trigger? Is it even possible? I'm not really sure if I want to get too into my trauma at this time. To give reason for asking, though... it's been a bit over a year since my traumatic experience. Have lost many of my days since it occured to bursts of anger, lost sleep, severe anxiety etc. been through therapy since and started medication a couple months ago. Starting to finally feel like things are looking up.
One of the most conflicting things for me right now is that the event (sexual abuse) was, in a way, inadvertently caused by my closest friends at the time. My family I considered them essentially, as I don't have one anymore. The two of them, they did do something that on its own would be objectively judged negatively by the majority of people. On its own, I believe the three of us could have communicated and found resolution as family does, but that was interrupted through the occurrence of sexual abuse I experienced. Because of the sexual abuse, I was very vulnerable the following months and coupled together there was major fallout from me towards them. I went a period of time (~6mo) without communicating with them and focused on healing from the sexual trauma. Progress with that has been good, but because the events are so intertwined in my mind, my gut reactions today around them are very bad. I get severe anxiety, etc. I would like our relationship to heal but they are such great triggers to me it feels impossible. I avoid them quite a bit. I know my worth, I know these people still care about me greatly, and I know what they did was something they regret. I know they want me to heal.
I haven't really told them that they are triggers, however they know I was abused and our fallout was caused by it. Is that something I have to tell them to have a chance with forming relationships with them again? Or is this a lost cause, will they always be triggers to me and therefore something I can't shake? What do I need to do to truly accept their companionship and feel safe around them again? If it's possible
Thanks | ptsd |
I was curious as to how some of you experience difficulties with social scenarios.
Imagine someone is frustrated or upset about something.
A) are you unaware of their feelings
B) are you aware that something is wrong, but unsure about how you should react
C) aware of how you should/could react, but remain unsure of how to do so
I’m sure there are other options as well. I’m interested to hear how you experience these situations, as most descriptions are quite vague. Also, I imagine many people will have different iterations, considering the how broad the spectrum is.
Thanks for your time, looking forward to hearing from you :) | aspergers |
I'm genuinely curious because if I ever have a wedding, I don't know how it would be organized and say who my groomsmen would be, etc. Not that weddings have to be like that or that people even have to have weddings. But it seems like a rough thing to do for the person in the relationship who has ASD | aspergers |
My partner quite often has panic attacks after a very traumatic car accident. He is having ongoing therapy, but he is still having panic attacks when he drives (I think it has turned into a panic disorder). I try distracting him with music (something he knows so his brain can focus on the lyrics), and he sometimes tries breathing techniques, or getting out of the car and walking if it is safe to do so. Is there anything else anyone can advise on helping overcome a panic attack (particularly while driving) or even help prevent them. Thank you in advance! | ptsd |
I got OCD initially because of COVID and and wouldn’t touch anything I thought had COVID on it and would wash my hands so much they would have scabs. Now it transferred to my sister during a summer trip. Probably happened because she kept intentionally triggering it and my therapist told me it’s also because of the trauma she caused me throughout my life. Right now I’m 14 and she’s just turned 17. Now I can’t touch anything she’s touched, it’s gotten so bad, I can’t even have my own mom touch me because she would obviously touch anything my sister has touched, like door handles etc. I used to have depression a couple years ago and now it’s come back, I’ve even started cutting my self and I really just want to get this over with so I don’t have to deal with this anymore. I know it’s stupid but it causes me just so much, too much anxiety and just everything. Does anyone else have ocd towards another person, does anyone have advice, please I’m begging. | OCD |
I’m 25 years old and unfortunately have been dealing with depression/anxiety/pureOcd my whole life, except once I graduated college my OCD decided to take a turn for the worse. Since then I have been battling this illness and it’s so fucking hard. I’ve gone through ups and downs, days I can really try to get my ocd behind me, but then there’s days that I can’t even think straight because all I am doing is worrying that someone or something is going to kill me.
The first scenario that came with my OCD is picturing I was going to get in a car crash every time I’m in the car.
Then, It turned into not only that but derealization/depersonalization.
Then it turned into not being able to walk alone without picturing someone robbing me or jumping me or harassing me.
Then it turned into the fear of getting every illness known to man.
Now I have the fear that I am going to get a call every morning when I wake up that a family member suddenly died.
Every day is a mix of these things. I feel like even though I’ve gone through periods of success and being able to calm my thoughts, I am once again stuck in this rut. I’m terrified these new ocd “tendencies” are going to reinvent themselves and give me more and more problems. Luckily enough I don’t have any serious trauma that ever triggered these harmful thoughts, it’s more the idea that they can happen any day.
Any advice is appreciated. I go to therapy and I’m on 50mg of clomipramine and 300mg wellbutrin. the mix of these meds have been helping me over the past 2 years but I’m at a time that my ocd is taking over these meds even helping.
Idk man. I feel like I’m on a never ending rollercoaster that I can’t get off. | OCD |
Teva? Adderall seems to be out of stock most places and the one I have been taking is teva and works the best for me. I have found two places that have some adderall ir in stock but they have north gate, aburdino or lannett how are those? Is there a different kind that works well or similar to teva I should look out for? Thanks! | ADHD |
Anyone else completely given up? At this point I'm just alive in the hopes that I get the courage up to blow my fucking brains out. No other reason | depression |
for those on here who experience periods~ does anyone else's ocd get significantly worse during pms? i'm 3 days out from starting my cycle and have been stuck in thought loops all day to the point that i basically stared at a wall for 2 hours earlier and then canceled plans to see friends because i was just too exhausted. | OCD |
Oï.. I am pretty much at loss about my own person. I've been in depression since i'm a teenager and things didn't went better, doesn't help that i'm neurotypical too.. I've basically nothing and almost everything seems bland, except seing some people and my love for history.
I've been homeless pretty much since i'm 19, left my parent's place because they just broke me and my long struggle in school didn't helped. Got some place to live alone here and there paid by the social aids of my country but that's that, trying to live the day. RN i finally have a proper place to live for at most 6 months thanks to an association. It should be to help me land on my feet but.. now what ?
Have just enough energy to eat and do some basic stuff even if the pleasure isn't there, the administrative tasks needed from me are overwhelming so i'll be soon in trouble. And i have nothing to strive for or to do. Can't see friends and comrades because they're busy or they don't want to see me since i'm not a good person (in 2 rare cases *i* don't want to see those 2 guys because they didn't accept my coming out) Can't work because of my initial difficulties, and me trying only resulted on bog shutdowns at the place of work (and getting fired the first day because of it), already tried to go back to school but that failed because i'm just too unwell and to begin with the scolar system isn't the most adapted. I have just enough money to eat so even if i tried to do some consumerism that wouldn't be good.
I just don't know.. | depression |
I'm always somebody's first, never the last. I'm easily forgotten by people and they stop checking on me. Whenever I have girlfriends, I always feel like somebody else is meant for them; probably a close friend, or someone they've known longer than me. Never me. I'm in a happy relationship right now but this is still etched at the back of my mind and I can't help but watch myself from a third-person point of view. | depression |
Tw: suicide,self harm,alcoholism,etc
Im hurting myself. I think for 5 minutes and I start getting awful headaches, catastrophizing every single situation, getting panic attacks, thinking Im gonna die and go to hell and my lifes gonna fall apart and I wont be able to survive it, thinking all my friends are gonna leave me and Ill be alone forever and kill myself
I used to be able to keep myself busy but I catch myself overthinking no matter what Im doing. I cant even sleep right and I keep the lights on at night like its gonna stop me from dying in my sleep
Im just so fucking tired, my family is tired, my friends are tired. I keep torturing myself and its become so compulsive and so severe I dont think its ever gonna stop
Theres nothing of me left its just overthinking. I wish someone would give me a fucking lobotomy. Im tending towards alcoholism and people are getting worried about that too. This is so much worse than when I self harmed and I cant turn it off
I just needed to vent I dont think theres anything anyone can do, or maybe yall are going through or have gone through something similar. It feels like a tumor growing on me and its gonna swallow me whole and Ill live as an overthinking mess making everyone around me exhausted
I just need so much help idk hope you guys are okay | OCD |
Has anybody found that jogging or working out has helped them deal better with their OCD? | OCD |
I’ve recently discovered that MOST of my ocd is rooted in my fear of being rejected. So if I do something that in my head is completely normal & with good intentions, yet someone looks at it a different way or questions me, I immediately side with them & think I’m weird. Which leads me to not trust myself or any of my actions because they can be misconstrued. It’s like I’m obsessed with how things look rather than how they actually are | OCD |
I’d just like to say that I am not therapist of any sort but I just want to see if i can help even just one person in this sub. Also I can’t guarantee that my help will work and I may not be able to help you all but I will definitely try my best. So please comment away! | OCD |
I am exhausted. my heart is always beating so fast, my hands are clammy, and I sometimes feel like I’m going to pass out because of how physically and chronically anxious I am. Even though I have solid proof that everything is fine, I cannot convince myself otherwise. my brain always creeps in with “what if?” It’s to the point where I can’t even change my clothes or take a shower because I’m afraid of seeing my body, for my obsession is about my health. every little new pimple, stretch mark, etc. freaks me out. every day I think I have a new kind of cancer. I honestly believe I am too far gone at this point. This has been the absolute worst time of my life ever. I am quite literally at rock-bottom all alone, as my best friend just left me. on the bright side, I got a new prescription today. I have only been on hydroxyzine before, and I am now about to start buspar. I started crying during my appointment because I am excited to see if this will work for me and take away my mental agony. I can’t do Zoloft unfortunately because I am bipolar 1, so after we see how the buspar works for me, I will go on Abilify. I hope I can get better. My blood pressure has literally gone up from all of this stress for the past five months, thanks to the PA who traumatized me :( | OCD |
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Just getting out of a 2+ week burnout.
I feel like the hard thing about ASD is that it's rare to have a group of NT friends. My friends are a combination of talented and funny and great , but sometimes I notice they all seem to hit their rock bottoms at the same time. Many are olderish and got diagnosed ASD in their 20s but also got diagnosed in the 00s with mental health issues (depression , bipolar) which is still kind of controversial in the ASD world.
* I could feel it coming. Best friend of 10+ years is heading into depressive state. He's not suicidal. But to get him to do a simple task is near impossible. He's going to go into hiding pretty soon and that'll suck. When he gets depressed it's like watching a family member go through an illness.
* Other friend from the same circle becomes pretty self destructive. He becomes a contrarian when he's lonely or rejected by others.
* Other friend is manic and has been for a month. Sometimes he gets manic and doesn't have a depressive episode after. But he's def not following "his own rules" which is worrisome.
The worst part is that I do feel like they're going to lean on me a bit as I'm trying to get everything together. Don't feel like ghosting or abandoning them in these times but it might be on the schedule. | aspergers |
Pretty much just the title.
I’m in college and I’ve spent the last 3 years since I was diagnosed trying to nail down a medicine combo that fits for me. I finally tried Vyvanse and it makes me feel so much better than other stimulants have in the past because my anxiety isn’t an issue here. It’s super exciting! The only problem is I’m on academic probation now and the semester outside of the couple of weeks I was on vyvanse was horrible, also, my long term relationship was blown up because of my constant executive dysfunction/“airheadedness”. That’s not all, but you get the idea.
How did you guys handle the life catchup that was required when you finally found something that worked? | ADHD |
Hopefully someone reads this and can give me some input on what they think 😬
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TL;DR- I know I shouldn’t necessarily discredit a doctor, but I wasn’t even at the doctor's appointment when my mom was told about my diagnosis. She (my mom) called me on the phone to tell me about it and sent me a photo of a conner's chart from the doctor that I think shows I have an upper rating for inattention. Though even looking at the chart, I still question it and there’s nothing on the chart that explicitly says “Lyric has ADHD” but maybe just learning issues and need to improve my habits. I ended up being able to get accommodations at my university from the Disability Resources Center (DRC). Even in this case though, I’m not sure. Should I get rediagnosed? Or am I overthinking it?
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Longer version:
Though I don’t quite feel like elaborating/typing out, my mom and I decided I should go to my pediatrician (keep in mind I was 17 at the time and now I’m 19) and figure out if I have ADHD. I think it was on my birthday or around that time that I was diagnosed with it, but what gets me is the fact that I’ve been denying it. To my knowledge, my mom was the only one who filled out a questionnaire about me and I don’t remember even filling out one about myself. I also don’t think one was given to my peers or teachers. I know I shouldn’t necessarily discredit a doctor, but I wasn’t even at the doctors appointment when my mom was told about my diagnosis. She called me on the phone to tell me about it and sent me a photo of a chart that I think shows I have a upper rating for inattention. Though even looking at the chart, I still question it and there’s nothing on the chart that explicitly says “Lyric has ADHD” but maybe just learning issues and need to improve my habits. I ended up being able to get accommodations at my university from the Disability Resources center (DRC). In that case, I guess nothing is “fake” since the DRC has to probably have proof for the diagnosis to give me the accommodations. Even in this case though, I’m not sure. Should I get rediagnosed? Or am I overthinking it? | ADHD |
So, At the beginning of 2021 I got diagnosed with General Neurodiversity consisting out of ADHD, speaking like an autistic person but not being autistic, and OCD thoughts. Someone on reddit told me that my headaches during wierd thoughts could be linked to OCD.
1. Can anyone else confirm that, cuz just one redditor is not enough for me to be sure.
2. If it is OCD, how to cope? | OCD |
I know I have ADHD because I have every symptom listed on the NHS website but my mum won’t let me go to the doctor. I really want to get diagnosed because I’m really struggling at school, socially, and in everyday tasks but she says no one in my family has it so I can’t have it. Only 75% of people with ADHD have a relative with it. There’s so many more things that I want to say but I can’t think rn. | ADHD |
This is my second day on Vyvanse and I love it. So much better than Dex. Yesterday I took it at 9:45am and today I took it at 8:45am.
I work 9-5 the next three days. Given it takes 1-2 hours to feel good and for me to feel like I can do stuff, what time should I take it?
Like I’m unsure what time I should get up to take it too. Should I take some dex to work with me too in case it wears off and I crash?
So for the people who work 9-5, what time do you get up and what time do you take it? | ADHD |
I don't really know how to start this, so I'll just tell it the best way i can.
*TLDR at end because I wrote much more than intended.
As an adult, was originally diagnosed with general anxiety and prescribed medication. It helped a lot but, over time, it worked less effectively.
I was less anxious generally, and so I'd procrastinate even worse because in hindsight, the overwhelming anxiety never kicked in to "trigger" me to action.
My gf, a psych major, believed i may have adhd, and so I watched an adhd symptom video, and felt as though they told my life story without ever knowing a thing about me.
Warped time perception, check. Constantly late, check. Horrible memory, check. Horrible, at times crippling procrastination, check. Bouts of hyperfocus, brain fog, inibilty to retrive information quickly, the whole nine yards.
Apparently, I may have had ADHD for so long, that the very tips provided in many videos, i had, at some point in my life, unknowingly incorporated into my daily routine. Clocks in every space i frequent, timers, designated spaces for frequently used items, to do lists, calendars, anything that switched the responsibility of tracking/remembering to something external and preferably in my line of sight.
It was pretty emotional to find out that everything that's so difficult for me, was not because of *me* at all. You go through life oftentimes failing, getting back up, failing less, over and over again, that you eventually internalize this as a fact of life for yourself. At least i did.
You think to yourself, what kind of person would I have become today had I been diagnosed and treated earlier, considering the incredible amount of effort you've put into becoming who you are today. Imagine the results of that added effort, without the barrier of ADHD.
Coming to terms with that was, still is, hard for me, considering I was diagnosed in adulthood.
Now, here's where the title comes in. I've been on medication for two months now. Initially placed on 10mg adderall XR in the am when needed. Then, was put on 10mg adderall XR twice a day, am and noon when needed (usually during the work week for me, occasionally on weekends if i have a lot to take care of).
Initially it felt the way an exciting day does, nothing profound. My attention improved, and taking care of tasks didn't feel like you had to wad through mud first. Memory still bad, don't feel much sharper, while still occasionally becoming hyperfocused.
The improvements from the medication felt like they wore off by noon.
Doc puts me on two 10mg adderall xr when needed, and things remain the same for a while, but then become inconsistent, and eventually, i was able to occasionally nap/sleep in the afternoon, even after having taken my noon dose.
Visited doc after month two, and they suggest I try implementing priority lists, etc, while maintaining same dosage. Bigger dose doesn't always lead to bigger results i was told, and since it can be habit forming, I agreed.
Now, a two weeks into month three, and i feel like i need to take the meds just to feel slightly better than the way i did before i was diagnosed. Otherwise I feel much more tired and sluggish than normal.
Im getting discouraged.
Im not sure that medication works as I expected? Or if a higher dose will help, since it seems like I'll eventually tolerate it the way i think i've built a tolerance for my current dose?
Was hoping someone could provide some advice, encouragement, guidance, anything honestly.
TLDR: On medication for ADHD. Slight improvement on 10mg Adderall XR taken twice daily. Improvement fading, and not sure what to do or if higher dose is the answer. | ADHD |
Does anyone else have an almost constant identity crisis on if they actually have adhd or not. I think this recent one is stemming from the fact that ive been able to organize and actually use a to do list for the first time in my life. But during that literal entire time I've been able to use it (its only been like 4 days) Ive been on medication for adhd as prescribed by my doctor. So clearly my dr thinks I have it and so many other people including my brothers have told me they think I have adhd. And yet despite all this Im not convinced that I actually have it. And to top it off due to the fact that calling people and making appointments is the hardest thing ever, Im almost out of my meds, and now that im on a lower dose (For the sake of making it last a little longer) Im struggling more then on pervious days to stick to my to do list. I guess I just want to know that If anyone else can relate to this. | ADHD |
Do you ever get those thoughts of criticism against loved ones? Is that OCD? | OCD |
**Terminology** \- null value = incoming thought that doesn't accompany an impulse
positive value = thought that accompanies a positive impulse
negative value = thought that accompanies a negative impulse
**Intrusive thoughts**
It's pretty straightforward, as you can see.
It may seem obvious, but sometimes it only appears so after you've thoroughly thought about how your mind is trying to connect and rationalize certain actions in the present. The basic idea is, any incoming thought must be assigned a null value, which serves the purpose of eliminating the incoming impulse that the mind is trying to apply automatically.
Example: I tend to toy with myself by assigning negative values to thoughts, they are irrational and serve no other purpose but to annoy myself, or make fun of myself. Those thoughts can also be positive, but in a self-deprecating kind of way, like, thinking of yourself highly due to completing an insignificant task, that anyone else could've done as well, with ease.
By automatically halting the statement my mind gives the incoming thought by assigning no value to it, I render it completely meaningless and I can move on, which as time went on, it has now become virtually nonexistent due to rendering all the multitude of impulses as worthless.
\- What else does this reveal?
**Observation**: In people with OCD, to my perception, functions of the subconscious have shifted into the conscious, and now overwhelms that given person, since nobody is really taught to manually control his impulses until you're actually confronted with the problems of a system running rampant and you are actually forced to create your set of axioms/rules of the mind that are aligned in a peaceful manner with your thoughts.
In a nutshell, this is supposed to be a self-built filter of the mind, it's technically not defeating OCD, but trapping it in a loop until it eventually disappears due to it not serving its purpose of stimuli, anymore.
For whatever it's worth, it may help someone. - Strider, out. | OCD |
Sorry, I know this is probably a common question. I'm just feeling very very concerned, losing sleep over it. I'm a 19-year-old male. I work a part-time job night shift which warrants a very bad sleep schedule. I also have bipolar disorder type two which causes fast but mainly depression-leaning mood swings. I also honestly have a hard time committing to taking my meds (lamictal and trintellix). Lastly, I have DPDR which runs my life basically - I have to call into work sometimes, I feel like I never exist, I feel like my hands are moving slower than I am, etc.
Recently I've been having some bizarre experiences I haven't had before, and I'm worried that it could be OCD. I don't want to assume, especially because I didn't expect to have this, but I just want to seek help, and I don't have a psych appointment for another month.
Firstly, I have been terrified that I'm hallucinating for the past three weeks or so now. Schizophrenia runs in my family, but I've never had hallucinations before. At the same time, though, I always feel like I am and that I have to double take, or I think that my reality will give way when I'm doing something important like working or driving. Secondly, I have a pill phobia, but this has increased into me not being able to drink or eat. At first, whatever I drank to take my pills became undrinkable because it reminds me of taking them, but now whenever I eat, I feel like I have tons of pills caught in my throat and chest. I could honestly gag while writing this. Lastly, I've started thinking about my organs and body health, but in a very bad way. I'm borderline overweight, but in the past two months I've had this fear that the unhealthy food I eat sometimes is going to make my organs swell, or that I'm going to drown in my own body fat.
I also have intrusive thoughts about things of a sexual or violent nature, but I always just attributed that to anxiety or something.
Thanks for reading all of this, any tips or help is appreciated. | OCD |
I have been diagnosed with Aspergers and my siblings (one older, one younger) have not. My siblings and I remember our childhood very differently.
I remember being on the receiving end of several beatings and my mother losing control and screaming and yelling. I remember her going into the kitchen and getting a wooden spoon to belt my brother with, she didn't hit him with it, she just hit him on the backside with her hand while my sister and I cried in the other room.
I have an infant son and mentioned casually to my family that I didn't want to raise him the same way that I was raised.
My brother seemed to be pretty offended by this and questioned what I meant.
He is a couple of years older than me but did not acknowledge that we were hit in any significant way. He said it was nothing, but I remember being absolutely terrified of getting beaten, or watching my brother or sister get beaten. I can still picture it and remember that fear quiet easily.
It wasn't a regular occurrence, maybe once or twice a year. And it was never a closed fist or more than a smack on the backside, except one slap on the face for me that drew a small drop of blood from my mouth, which my mother vehemently denies doing.
It's not something I think about, or consider even a significant part of my childhood, I have a lot of good memories. But I do acknowledge that it happened and don't remember it fondly.
Does my aspergers have any impact on the significance of this violence to me vs my siblings? Am I remembering it worse than it actually was? Is it just worse for me because of the aspergers? I don't think my brother is denying it happened, only that it's meaningless and not important.
He did become extremely defensive and called me dilusional for even saying it though.
Thanks in advance if anyone has any advice or experience with this kind of thing. | aspergers |
Hey guys I was just wondering if any of you have noticed yourself doing repetitive movements. Like I keep tensing up my neck and back muscles and whenever I stop I get this weird uncomfortable feeling until I start again. It's causing some serious neck and back pain for me lately. Does this sound like OCD? I've been diagnosed with OCD for other things (intrusive thoughts, constant checking things, repeatedly having to say words over and over again but with the same H sound, etc..) I've just been really wondering if these repetitive tensing/flexing movements are to do with my OCD or if I should start looking at other things with my therapist? Thanks! | OCD |
This is probably a weird complaint because it’s literally why I’m taking it, but it’s so unusual for me to focus on one thing at a time. I feel like taking Vyvanse forces me to do this, and it makes it harder to multitask. While before I couldn’t focus on one thing for an extended period of time without having to sum up a massive amount of energy, now I can do it fairly easily but it feels almost too single-minded. Can anybody else relate? Is this the right med for me? | ADHD |
I’m wondering if anyone has advice for this?
My partner gets upset when I don’t respond sometimes during an argument. I can’t bring myself to say anything and he thinks I’m “giving him the silent treatment” and trying to manipulate him.
I’ve told him multiple times that I just can’t respond but every time it happens he thinks I’m doing it on purpose.
Is there something I can do instead of talking when this happens? Have you found anything that works for overcoming this issue? | aspergers |
Help :(
Back in March I started getting pocd intrusive thoughts, groinal response etc.
I had no idea what it was and for 2 weeks I thought I was a monster. Later I found out that what I was experiencing was pocd.
I’ve been having this groinal response thing constantly since March. Every day. It’s horrible. At some point I’ve been suicidal.
I know that I’m not a pedophile, which makes this situation even more frustrating - I just want this to go away.
I’ve been told that this groinal response would go away and that I just had to wait. I’m tired of waiting. It’s every day. Every fucking day, and I can’t do this anymore. The only break I have from this, is when I sleep. I’m extremely depressed too, and this shit makes my situation worse.
I’m only 14 years old, this is ruining my life :( | OCD |
I'm 22 years old, ever since I was probably 9 - 10 I've suffered pretty heavily from OCD. It started as magical thinking OCD (every 11:11am/pm in any time zone I had intrusive thoughts to make wishes, sometimes they were negative and I would be scared) and health-related OCD. For the longest time I thought I was 'crazy', and I remember telling my mom in high school that I thought I have OCD. She just laughed because she thought OCD was being really clean, and I really wasn't a neat person. I never received treatment until 12 years later, and I only ever really found out it was OCD after my first therapist appointment. I do wish I received proper treatment in my childhood because I feel like I would have been far better off than I am now. I learned to deal with it for so long but I reached my breaking point. After all these years, I am annoyed with what happened but I can't be mad because it's really the media's fault. Even when I told my current partner, he thought I was joking at first because again, I'm not that neat of a person. | OCD |
I've struggled with depression since I was a child. I recently started taking lexapro 4mths ago. I got kicked out of highschool, don't have any friends. He's the only real friend I have, and now he doesn't care about me anymore. I just wish I we were kids again and laugh the same way. | depression |
I am currently 13 years old and has no purpose in life whatsoever,
My family member keeps reminding me of how useless I am and for whatever reason I decided that I wanted to be part of the military because I thought that it was my only purpose in life. I decided to play some game to make me feel better... didnt work...
My depression got worse to a point where I can no longer feel sad, happy, or angry at times...
I also often compare myself to others who are also depressed. When I compare myself to them I think of myself as garbage and not even worth comparing to anyone. I also think that people have suffered more than me like abuse and other traumatizing events.
I also planned that if I k!II myself eventually I would donate my organs to unfortunate people and grind the rest of my body for fertilizer.
Sorry if my grammar is bullshit, I also apologize if some of the content in this post offends you. | depression |
My family doctor doesn’t believe I have PTSD. I have always suffered from depression and anxiety, but last month was the tipping point.. I found my father dead at home before going to work. I was devastated. I could have done more and didn’t to help him. I have night terrors, fits of rage, anger outbursts, suicidal thoughts, and flashbacks in my head daily. I can barely stand being in the house as it reminds me of him.. I can still visualize him dead in that room every single time I walk past it.
My doctor responded by taking me off Xanax, saying I don’t need medicine and that I need to “deal with it” and not let it consume me.
It’s gotten to the point where out of sheer anger and rage, I feel like going after people... this desire to cause harm to myself and others.. it’s not normal and my doctor doesn’t want to hear any of it.
Since she doesn’t believe in benzo drugs (or most drugs period) I’m stuck on lexapro, and that medicine is making me more and more irate and irritable by the day.
The only advice I’ve been given by a family member is to find a “cash only” physiatrist that will likely keep me on Xanax.. it’s the only medicine that helps me function. | ptsd |
Can I have an honest conversation with a depressed friend who keeps inviting, making plans and then cancelling at the last moment?
I have a friend through several years whom I used to visit more than once per week. That was in the college years, and for a period as I started work I couldn't visit as often. But then he moved and sorta... shut himself in. He was always a little depressed but after that I was lucky to come over to his place maybe once or twice per year.
I've invited him at least thirty times in the past four years, and he'll say yes, and then quit at the last moment. He has this weird tendency to escalate an invite, where I invite myself over for coffee, he'll try to make it a bigger thing. Almost as if he wants to catch up on lost time. Or invite more people. Then when the day comes he cancels "I'm sorry I haven't slept in the past four days"
And I get that, and I definitely don't want him to force himself through with it, if he hasn't slept. I worry about that tendency of his. I'd start out with small hangouts, maybe going for a walk together (he also cancels those). Little mini-hangouts, instead of making it big "old times sake" levels of hangout.
Now, all of the sudden he wants to invite me over for the New Years Eve we used to have together, and its gonna be a big thing.
Would it be wrong for me to talk to him honestly about whether its a good idea? I don't want him to get overwhelmed the day before and shut down from too many expectations. I don't care if its not a big thing when we hang out, I just miss my friend and I don't want him to get hurt. If instead we just have 1 coffee hang out in December that'd be the world to me.
Am I an asshole for slowing him down in his enthusiasm, and wanting to talk about whether its a good idea? I don't want him to emotionally hurt himself. | depression |
I spoke to my therapist the other day and she recommended I do intensive out patient treatment. Had anyone tried this before and felt some success with this ? | OCD |
I’m going to tell everyone the truth, im completely exhausted from the guilt and remorse that im asking for help now. Recently, I developed a new theme which is the extreme guilt and feeling less of a person from my consuming ‘out of character’ porn in the past.
Long story short, I used to be addicted to porn growing up, but then there was that certain time after every time watching I would feel immense guilt and couldnt look at any one in the eyes, the feelings keep persist for a while so I had to give up porn for a long time and I became AFRAID of anything sexual related. The thought of masturbation again would for sure cause me even more panic attack, I admire myself for not feeling anything since giving up all that. OCD gives me too much tension and trauma. (I have no background religion but I’m a female and that prolly makes me feel even worse) i know i sound crazy LOL.
Going back to my recent OCD theme. Well, I actually enjoyed watching group sex or gangbang porn before. (Now I feel so disgusted-of myself talking about my secret.) Every time I walk into a public place the intrusive porn memories would pop up in my mind out of no where, I got super panicked and feel like my chest would explode and people will feel disgusted about me as they might know my ‘secret’. I don’t know why but that feels so out of character for me, i wanna k!ll myself from the guilt everyday. Not only that but other lustful porn memories would come back too makes me feel so sick. It’s just the guilt that I HAVE ACTUALLY VIEWED IT. I wished i would never touch that porn genre or watched any hardcore porn in the past. I know I sound so dumb but the guilt is k!lling me everyday.
Can someone help me get out of all this? Please. | OCD |
So I’m a 17 yr old (m) and I was diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year
I started treatment and found I could focus better and my mind was more in control. I still feel like it wasn’t the answer like something is missing.
Ive been looking into the comorbidity of autism and ADHD and Ive been stressing hard over whether I have autism or not. Growing up I always did feel kinda awkward and bad at making and keeping friends. In social situations I sometimes feel like I have to plan out what I do (but not all the time).
I feel like I understand social cues and emotions( but yet again I feel I might’ve gotten good at recognizing them) and I overthink eye contact hard. I do not have special interest, meltdowns, or a strict schedule. For some reason though my mind is convinced that ADHD is not the only thing there.
If anyone with diagnosed autism knows some tell tale symptoms or anything that could give me some closure it would be greatly appreciated. | ADHD |
Will it ever end? It really seems like it won't, or that if it does, it is so far in the future that it isn't even worth entertaining that hope. The walls keep closing in, and I don't know how much longer I can live with the fear. I'm not even particularly vulnerable, but it is driving me mad. Having worked in retail - food retail - the entire time certainly makes it worse. I've struggled with depression since I was a teenager, 20 or 25 years now. I took this job on the advice of my therapist at the time, who suggested that working with the public would be a good way to address the social anxiety I developed as s reasonable reaction to growing up a gay kid in a small town. Turned out to be the worst advice anyone ever gave me, not just because of current events that couldn't have been foreseen. Putting someone with social anxiety in a position where the general public are encouraged to treat them like shit, and they have absolutely no way to stand up for themselves, borders on malpractice. Anyway, I am totally trapped. I can't leave. I don't know what other job I can do, and can't afford to be uninsured in the case that I fail at whatever I try. I want to end it, but don't have the spine to do it. | depression |
Past year I finished uni, have wife, kid and dog. Got my self a decent job. But feel like I am worhless all the time.
I have had this feeling from time to time since I was a kid. But never ever have I felt this bad as I felt past months.
I know that taking care of myself by going to the gym, eat healthy, sleep regularly and meet friends wold help.
Because I've done it.
But now it feels like I am not willing to make things better for me.
I would for some reason would rather be self pity myself and resent everyone around me.
I really hate my parents how they raised me. And I blame them for how mentally ill I am. And the worst part is, they did there best. | depression |
Now I know the doctors at Reddit have all the authority to diagnose someone, but I’m genuinely curious if I have OCD. I’m not a clean person. My room isn’t too bad but it’s not clean by any means. Which is why my parents think I don’t have ocd, however, I definitely have compulsions I have to follow. I’m in my mid 20’s now, and I have memories as far back as 5 years old where I had to do things 4 times. That’s my number. One of my earliest, and still burned into my brain, memories from when I was like 6 years old, was when I was walking with my family, I accidentally hit my knee on a bench, and had to go back and tap my knee on the same spot 3 more times. When I looked up, my family was gone and I had to run and catch them. When I drink from a water fountain, I always do it in either 4, 8, 12, or 16 sips. It’s gotten better and worse throughout the years, kinda like episodes. When I walk up the stairs, If I start on my left foot, I have to end on my right foot so it’s even, even if I have to step on the same step twice. Luckily, it hasn’t actually seemed to effect my life in the way I’m reading most posts on this sub. But is this ocd? | OCD |
For the frist time in my life my thoughts are finally quite. I buried the coffin that I tired to lay myself in. I told my body no today . I refuse to write another obituary in my journal. I spent 19 years slicing and reopening wounds and I called it healing.... in 8th grade I met a friend. She had beautiful olive skin and hair almost the color of chestnuts. On Thursday she wore eyeliner to help conceal her bruises and misery. Everyday after school we would walk around the neighborhood and she would sing me her blues. I always in awe of strength. So much so that when i saw her laying on the bathroom floor in a pile of blood. I couldn’t help but wonder why! I made 4 hospital trips that year. And my brain re-wired itself in a way I never knew. She taught me how to do more than just makeup and my brain hasn’t stopped ticking since then. But today it’s quite. No whispers. I feel dead why | depression |
I was at McDonald's with my family and I was 8ish years old. I had myself a nice mcdouble that looked so especially good, I decided to forgo my usual routine of eating all my fries before eating the burger and eat my mcdouble first. Gobbled it up like a beast and it was pretty dang good. And that's when it happened.
I somehow forgot that I ate my mcdouble immediately after I ate it. So, when I looked down at my tray of food, and saw that the burger I had eaten was gone, I thought it had just disappeared. Cue a huge freak out in the middle of the McDonald's asking what tf happened to my mcdouble and my parents trying to reassure me that I had just eaten it and it was thus in my tummy...
I was diagnosed ADHD and aspergers a year later btw lol. | aspergers |
Anyone else feel super self conscious when they're out in public? Like people are looking at them and thinking "what a fkn wierdo"? | aspergers |
i’m 14 and i was sexually assaulted when i was 11. only late 2019 did the memories start to come back and i realised what happened. since then i developed ptsd and i’ve been able to fight it for the most part but i’m not sure if i can anymore. i’ve been trying for so long and i want to live but it’s getting so hard. today was really bad. i don’t know what to do because i want to stay alive but i can’t keep going through this never ending cycle of trauma. i just want it to go away but it’s always there. i don’t know what to do. | ptsd |
My parents love me and spoil me rotten because they think expensive things replace friends (ffs idk) and are really ignorant of my health issues. I have really bad insomnia and a few other parasomnias and they don't believe me because it's always "all that coffee" or "that damn phone" *(I use a flip phone)*
I'm really good at stealing things. I've stolen lots of shit from different local Walmarts without raising an eyebrow *(trust me, I don't get caught)* and I think I'm going to get some sleep aid. Melatonin doesn't work because I'm tolerant to the high amounts I need and I just want to use something that will work which is Ambien. My mom refuses to get it so if I don't steal it (which I have to) I will further live a shitty life of miserableness and sleep deprivation.
The reason I have to steal it is that I don't have a job because I don't even have my permit. They never brought me to the DMV because they're fucking lazy even two years ago and now they blame me. They are seriously some of the most mediocre and ignorant pieces of shit this planet has ever seen.
I have to live in their shadow for another two years before I can gtfo and leave forever and never talk to them again. They left me to rot in those evil isolation rooms at that school for two years and always try to play it down to make themselves feel better. They don't want to confront the fact that they are stupid, ignorant pieces of shit. Whatever, call me the teenager who thinks he knows everything but hear me out for once in my life holy shit. | aspergers |
I graduated with my BS in Nursing (not my best idea) and tried to pound a square peg into a round hole as a neurosurgical PCU nurse and then an ICU nurse on the other side of the country.
Now my thought process is that while nursing might not be for me I can transition my ultra-focus/fine attention to detail (finally AS has 2 ways that can benefit me) to the CRO industry.
I'd be traveling, working remotely and oddly enough I like working with people - I'm just not confident in myself that I'm always good at it.
I know that this may very well be a shot in the dark but you're in research and on the spectrum I'd love to hear your story :) | aspergers |
Unfortunately I have to lie on resumes and choose to either refuse to identify or identify as not having a disability to ever receive a response to any job offering and always receive a declination email or letter if I choose to self identify. Who else experiences this routinely? | aspergers |
I started seeing a new therapist recently, and now that we're through the awkward first visits getting to know each other I opened up to her today, and at the end of the session she talked in depth about a diagnosis she believes would benefit me to know about.
Its a form of PTSD, and she calls it the silent death. Which, thanks for the scary as shit nickname. Basically the way I was raised with back to back severe traumatic events makes me unable to do, well, anything that involves trust, love, or relationships. Which explains a lot.
It makes it extremely difficult and nearly impossible to form any connections to the people or environment around me because I'm constantly expecting trauma or sudden change.
It explains why I haven't felt "at home" for years, why I don't truly value or trust anyone, why I'm so dependent on things going wrong to feel "safe", and why I react to any form of trigger in an all or nothing fashion.
That makes six or so diagnosis.
At what point do the diagnosis not even matter anymore and people just accept that I'm never going to be "fixed" and just leave me the fuck alone so I can have my ONLY dream of living by myself with a dog | depression |
I have a lot of inspiration to do things but when the time's there I end up not doing them.
Also I don't forget tot take my second dose of meds but it takes me an hour or more to actually to so. If I actually manage to take them again.
Anyone else? What to do?
Ironically I have just been sitting here feeling all shitty about being inactive, didn't take my second dosage yet, have to eat still but have no interest in doing so but I have to... Everything is just a chore. | ADHD |
hey i kinda feel lost because i used to study psychology and educational sciences but they both triggered my existential ocd so much that i had to give them up... and now i really have no clue what i can study... everything about humans triggers my eocd but that was more or less the only real topic that used to interest me... especially educational sciences was a love of mine but i tried it 2 times and it just doesn't work with my eocd... any tipps? or what do others that have the same type study? | OCD |
Tw domestic abuse
Hey y’all I experienced something weird to me last night and just wanted to talk about it and see if anyone had any advice. I have ptsd from domestic abuse and haven’t really had any major flashbacks in about a year. However yesterday I got triggered and ended up uncontrollably shaking for hours and scared that my current boyfriend was going to kill me. Honestly made very little sense to me since I haven’t had anything like this in such a long time and the thing that triggered me was pretty minor. I was just wondering if anyone has any advice on how I can calm myself down if that happens again or just how to deal with experiencing symptoms you thought were mostly done with coming back? Thanks :) | ptsd |
(I have used strong language in this post, just a heads up. If you find that uncomfortable, you don't have to read this post.)
I just had a long rant with one of my nt friends.
We talked about nicknames for friends and he said that he called one of his friends something with downs syndrome (I can't remember the exact nickname). He said that there was a girl on his school who got offended by this (my opinion, understandably so) and told him to stop, since it would hurt people with actual downs syndrome.
I said that I agreed with the girl, which he didn't understand. He said they meant it as a joke and that there were no people they meant to harm and not people with downs syndrome would ever know of it.
Which I think is a little wrong. For multiple reasons.
We then talked a bit about my diagnosis and how draining it is for me to hear when people joke about autism, even if the joke isn't directed at me.
I don't know if I'm the only one, but I get upset when people use autism (or other diagnoses for that matter) as a slur or as a joke.
Having autism isn't a joke!
In my country, it's very normal for nt's to say "oh you're so autistic, you're so incompetent" which, when I'm near, hurts me so, so much, because it confirms that I'm not what society wants and people view me as a disabled person who can't take care of themselves. Which I think is wrong.
I told him that it hurts even when strangers say that thing to each other. It hurts that they think those things about my diagnosis. Even if the joke isn't directed at me, I still feel like the joke is targeting my diagnosis and who I am.
Am I overthinking this?
Afterwards he told me that he thinks he's allowed to joke about this in public. He said that he has his freedom of speech and is allowed to joke about what he wants, whether it be sexuality, diagnoses, memes, etc.
He also said that I shouldn't be allowed to go up and tell him to stop those jokes (which I think takes away my freedom of speech).
Am I in the wrong for getting hurt about my diagnosis being used as a slur? Am I overreacting?
I felt so crushed when we talked and I felt like he didn't respect me at all..
If anyone has something to say, whether it's me being a little incompetent child or me being right about something, just comment.
I'm truly shocked about what he said to me.. | aspergers |
Hey to whoever is reading this. It's been a tough time for everyone around, I believe it, I just had to get this off my chest, maybe someone will read it too.
I've been suffering from overthinking, anxiety, social anxiety, OCD, and mostly depression really since 2019. It's been hard dealing with that kind of stuff, knowing that I was verbally bullied since elementary school, I've been carrying that since then. Most of us escape from those kind of problems through music. I started writing music, started drawing and writing my own texts, and that would impress some people that were around. That helped me, until some point of time where I felt so useless, worthless. Have you ever got to the point where you are sooo down, that you're afraid if this is not the deepest I've been, what's deeper than this? I cried every night, and I'm not afraid of saying that, nor am I ashamed. I'm bout to turn 18 in less than month and a half, I'm a guy. I'm seeing people celebrating their birthdays and enjoying their times, their best moments, posting it on socials and stuff, that just breaks me, cause I never was happy when my birthday came around. I tried deleting socials to try becoming better and I doubted myself too much. I doubt myself now as well. It helped, until some point where I know that I need attention, cause I never felt real love, I never felt real friendship, cause most of the kids in elementary and high school right now don't want to hang out, cause I'm too weird. I'm just trying to be myself. I don't let out my problems to any of my family members cause I don't want them to know anything about my mental health. To be honest, the only thing I really wanted is a little bit respect, love, attention and someone that will take me for granted, for who I am. I'm dying inside cause of it. I don't get support, I don't feel emotions, I don't want to smile, don't want to talk nor be here anymore. I never had suicidal thoughts, I never wanted to kill myself, I just want some rest from everything around me. I've stopped writing music and texts, can't draw anymore, I just feel like I've been coming down to the point where I'm going to stop doing anything and crumble and fall even more into it. Although I still have something telling me not to quit. I don't want to quit, and yet, I do. The only thing that's keeping me into this "hope" that I barely feel is around is a person that I love and that came back to my life after I messed up, she gave me another shot and that made me think some things through. I have problems with that too, cause I just want some time with her, but it's hardly possible, and that comes to my questioning, if she cares, she'll make a little bit of time. It's to the point where I overthink these things as well. Too many problems. I don't want to act cold to anyone, I don't want to show no emotion, to show my pain, I just want myself to be normal like I was before. I miss being myself, I miss being loved and a lot of stuff too. My birthday is coming and I just want it to pass by, cause I know that day, I'll cry my soul out until I fall asleep and stop crying.
Thank you for reading this, for anyone reading this, I just wanted to get some stuff off my chest and it kind of helped. | depression |
I'm wondering if this is correct.
I believe I have ADHD. I feel unmotivated and can't stay at a single task for more than 5 minutes at a time. I pick up a guitar to learn a song, within 5 minutes I'm on another song having not learned the previous. This can be with any task and is just an example.
I also have a sound sensitivity to sudden or quiet noises. It makes me 'flinch' internally (Best way I describe). Loud noises are fine. However when I have caffeine or a stimulant this dampens. I get a massive mood boost, become productive and can concentrate easily and longer. Because of this I've started self medicating with nicotine vape and caffeine.
Now comes the OCD part. I have a bad perfectionism complex. And if I'm reading/listening/watching something and I get this startle I get a sudden rush of anxiety and want to re-experience it (re-read, re-watch, re-listen). Because I feel I didn't perfectly experience this, then it gets stuck in my head and I remember that moment I did something and it wasn't perfect and get anxiety from that.
(I know I'm crazy).
Anyway just wondering if anyone knows about this or has experienced it? | ADHD |
I hate how much sensory issues upset my ocd. Or my OCD upsets the sensory issues. Either way I'm a grown woman sitting in my bra and undies in front of the a/c trying to use some herbal help to calm down. It always starts with trying to leave the house, it's like I'm agoraphobic but only because I'm scared of putting on clothes.. and/or those clothes later making me panic in public. (I've literally gone to my car and took off pants to stop panicking before). But as I was saying, it starts with needing to leave my home, then I don't like the way something feels, I change, change again, then I start getting sweaty and dizzy and usually end up about where I am now.. hugging the a/c half nude.
I guess I'm off to try again. | OCD |
Okay well my Best Friend of 4 years/ Best friend from Primary just dumped me ig because I wasn't doing enough to keep our friendship going. I hadn't texted her in a week because I thought she was mad at me and I was waiting for her to respond so I knew she was okay again.
I know I'm a fucking piece of shit for not talking for a week. I get it. I was busy and I couldn't talk. Yeah I could text her after her screen-time was on so she could respond the next morning which I couldn't because, I have an hour of Cystic Fibrosis related meds (Lung condition which I've been really struggling against all year). And then straight to school (which unsurprisingly I've been struggling with all year as well).
It all started cuz I said my humor has changed and she got pissed and said "Ofc. And I'm just here"
I said no because she wasn't. Then she said that I made her feel alone, because I hadn't texted her in a week.. and yeah. I responded with "Glad we feel the same" and she got even madder. We argued and now we're not friends anymore.
I helped her overcome depression, I have tried so hard to do as she pleases. I text her when I can. I went on as many sleepovers and playdates as I was allowed. I always really try my hardest. But it's never FUCKING ENOUGH
\---------
I've been struggling with life because of CF, and Pre-Diabetes, Anxiety and Depression. And school has been too difficult and I can't do it. I've self harmed. I've considered but too scared to commit. I've never been enough for my family because I haven't been a "Girly Girl" like they really want me to be. I am never pretty enough or dress well enough for anyone (Except my highschool BFF and my Bf).
I hate me. I hate the way I'm treated. I hate the way I act. I hate how I'm not a perfect child anymore
​
EDIT: I texted her all week. I did. She didn't respond for 2 days. And I only didn't respond yesterday
EDIT#2: Yeah, it's been 4 hours and I've gone into a deeper state of emotionlessness | depression |
TLDR: I suffered with OCD my whole life, I managed to OCD myself out of my physical compulsions but it hugely backfired as now I have no coping mechanisms when my intrusive thoughts happen and they’re getting more graphic and scary as the years go on
Lme explain. When I was a young teenager (im 20F now) I suffered with bad bad ocd. I didnt know what it was, I’d always lived that way, but combined with generalised anxiety, horrific social anxiety & a few other things it rapidly got worse. I dont exactly remember when I learnt it was OCD and I never recieved any help for it. But my compulsions got to a point where I couldnt breathe without needing to count every breath I took, I couldny leave the house bcus the basic human things I needed to do to survive that would be disturbed by outside life got too much. So I OCD’d myself out of my OCD. Instead of “if I dont count in beats of 4 my family will die” (this is just a basic example my intrusive thoughts have been much much worse) I changed the narrative to “if I DO do this my family will die.” And you best believe it worked. Over time most of my compulsions vanished or became manageable, essentially they no longer controlled my life. But what I didnt realise is that even though the compulsions were destroying me from the inside out, they were actually keeping my intrusive thoughts sane in a whole other way. Now as a 20yoF when I have bad intrusive thoughts, they last weeks and I have no way of controlling them. They get horrificalky worse, I cant sleep, I cant do anything but keep my head in a show so that I cant be left alone with my own brain. It’s been about a month now and my current obsession is death/depression. Its like my ocd wants me to to want to kms and I literally just have to ride the wave. Times like this is when I miss my complulsions bcus they were time consuming in a whole other way. They’re honestly as bad as eachother and I wouldnt wish this shit on anyone | OCD |
Hoping this is okay to share since I don’t want to be political at all,,, but I’m finally fully vaccinated from Covid! I’m hoping this helps me feel safer and potentially help with PTSD symptoms. My PTSD is related to the pandemic because my traumatic event involves me and my family having COVID and losing my father to COVID at the same time.
I struggle mostly at work where no one wears masks and I constantly feel unsafe because of it. I was hesitant to get vaccinated because I was so scared of feeling any type of way I did around my traumatic event, but I was able to overcome my fear! It’s such a relief and I hope it gives me to comfort to be able to have some of my life back. I’m not expecting miracles. Just happy in general. | ptsd |
I am bipolar and i also have ptsd. I have years of trauma that I have avoided. I was diagnosed with ptsd almost 4 years ago and I kind of ignored it and denied it. I have gone to therapy for the past few years with a few therapists going from not talking about my trauma at all, to saying I have trauma but not going into it, to saying I have trauma and being very vague or general about it, to recently actually saying what the trauma is and talking/reflecting minimally about it. I really want to process it and my psychiatrist told me that I can learn all the coping skills I want, but I won't get better until I talk about it. I have been in and out of the hospital because of these issues in the past 4 years, so it is really important to me. Does anyone have any advice for good ways to start opening up more? | ptsd |
Hi everyone, I want to stop masking my autistic behaviours to placate NTs.
I’m finding it hard because I’ve been masking so much for years, that I don’t know how to be myself anymore.
What are your natural autistic behaviours? For me, I know it’ll be easier to make 60% less eye contact. But I’m still masking even when I’m telling myself not to! | aspergers |
I’m a 21 year old male with ASD. Lately I’ve not been seeing why life is actually worth living. I’ve posted this on other forums, but I get the best feedback here. What do you guys see as reasons for why life is worth living? | aspergers |
I’ve prayed to you multiple times every day for most of my life, but you never help me or my family.
I’ve suffered from severe depression, anxiety, and OCD for most of my life, though probably not severe for most of it, but right now, and for the last couple of years, it’s been severe, and you haven’t helped me. Some of the reason why I prayed multiple times every day was because I had to because of my OCD, but sometimes I did it because I wanted to, but you haven’t helped me. Fuck you. I stopped praying for months to help my OCD, but yesterday evening I prayed to you because I wanted to, and because I hoped that you’d try to help my family and me, but you didn’t. None of the problems I needed help with, did you help me with :( Fuck you, fuck me, fuck my life. | OCD |
since my pocd started couple months ago i can't stop noticing underage girls, its like they're eveywhere in the street.
i always try to guess if they're adult or not and if i get a groinial response.
Its automatic and it seems that i have no control over it | OCD |
I posted this diagram I made on r/aspergirls and it helped quite some people. I hope with this diagram you can see that autism can have positive sides.
https://i.redd.it/eas9uu1xao171.jpg
This is my view on my personal autism traits that I think are positive. Everybody is different so don't feel discouraged if you don't have the same positive traits. There might be quite some overlap between neurotypical and autistic people. The difference is in the intensity and combination of all traits.
My positive autism traits might not be compatible to everyone. Meaning I think something is great but others might not. That is fine. As long as I see it as a positive thing.
One last note is that these positive traits can also become an obstacle. For example perfectionism can be very exhausting. Open minded can get you into socially awkward situations.
I am very pleased with these positive traits. It makes me, me. | aspergers |
like for 21
) It can be very intimidating for me to talk to more than one person at a time.
True now and when I was young
True only now
True only when I was younger than 16
Never true
i would answer never as true because i could mask myself by not having to stress myself of awkwardness of not continuing the conversation
but i dont think the answers truly mean that | aspergers |
Hi all,
I'm curious if there are any Canadians here who've been prescribed Desoxyn in Canada for ADHD. I realize there are quite a few hoops to jump through before a prescription will be approved, including going through Health Canada to get special access, which requires proving you have exhausted other options.
My problem is that I have exhausted *many* but maybe not *all* options re meds. Tried all mainstream stimulant groups, tried non-stimulants, tried combinations of stimulants and non-stimulants with mood stabilizers or anti-depressants. Nothing affects me or makes a noticeable change in my life, although I think the mood stabilizers are helpful but only for what they're good for (mood-stabilizing). So I'm curious about others who have maybe experienced the same/similar situation and have been able to try desoxyn. Was it any different? Was it helpful?
Additionally, I've read a little about pharmacogenetic testing to determine genetic markers for how I interact and metabolize medication. Does anyone have any experience with this either?
I am going to talk with my doctor about both of these things but was curious about community experiences from other ADHD folx as well.
Thanks in advance. | ADHD |
Disclaimer: Conservative doesn't mean racist, sexist, or whatever label. Let's face it, everyone in the world is Conservative.
I would like to state that yes I'm a conservative. You know what, so is everyone else.
Like everyone you know are conservative about there money, circle of friends, and transitional value.
Even liberals are conservative too. They talk about idea of being friend with everybody and yet you see them with the same circle of friends. | aspergers |
Well my thoughts are kind of like this I’m going to use food as an example because my thoughts can be graphic so I just need help knowing what the hell is going on
Now let’s say you hate carrots, carrots are disgusting and you’re allergic to them, you hate how they look and wouldn’t go near one and now your OCD convinces you you like them
Your OCD presents you with a thought of a carrot on a plate your brain says “I know you want to take a bit cmon, you know you want it” and you’re just like no that’s disgusting and the more times your brain shows you and tries to tempt you with the carrot on the plate you get confused on whether you actually want it until one time your brain does it again “I know you want the carrot, cmon eat it, doesn’t it look nice” and for a slight second you say “maybe it does look nice” and maybe even an urge to eat it, now you snap, why did I have that thought? Do I actually like carrots? How can I think like that? You get anxiety and start replaying it, did I actually say this to myself? And you replay the thought again but now since you’ve replayed the thought it gets worse to the point where you’ve actually eaten the carrot as an intrusive thought now you have that on your plate as well and you start being convince you like the carrot
This is what I’ve been going through and I don’t know how to deal with it anymore | OCD |
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA | OCD |
like the title says, i sometimes get intrusive thoughts about people dying, like family, celebrities, i would say friends but i dont have any, and its making me then have the intrusive thought that i want them to die, or expect it to happen soon, i blame my mdd cause when i get out of a daydream is when my intrusive thoughts and imagination is most active, so that's when these thoughts pop up.
i hate having them its kinda like, easiest explination is sometimes when something or someone is trending on twitter i somehow get anxious and expect there to be something about death of some celebrity or idol, its very weird but i guess i just expect the worst of things sometimes,
or like i expect to hear about some sort of car crash or heartattack, or someone in house attacking my family. and i hate having these thoughts like i expect it to happen today, and how would i react to it.
i feel awful cause its like im imagining someone dying, and i dont want them to die. but my intrusive thoughts just popped in while writing this part, and it was saying how it would be easier if they did.... FUCK OCD.
why does this disease make me think of myself as a monster, or have these thoughts i hate this
is this some weird form of harm ocd?
EDIT: added some things | OCD |
A family member managed to get me a job in a pallet repair factory. I think I like it here, but I'm supposed to repair a minimum of 200 pallets each day. Which usually leads to me being highly distressed if they're too broken.
I tend to feel really overwhelmed and angry, and since I have trouble hiding it, I feel like I'll eventually get fired because of it. Sometimes it gets really bad and I feel like walking out and quitting. There's times where I have to hold myself back from crying from all the stress.
I also have to deal with my really bad social anxiety
Does anyone have any advice for how I can cope better? | aspergers |
I feel jumpy and startled mostly at work. My coworkers can be unexpectedly loud, or something falls on the floor. I work in a kitchen and many predictable things still make me jump or startle me. No one seems to notice. I even become startled if someone approaches me to say something to me.
Is there a way to tell that one coworker “hey can you not scream every time you talk?” Without being an asshole? It’s starting to make me irritable and I don’t want to direct it towards them on accident.
I also just wish people would be like “hey,___!” As they approach me. Quietly of course.
Is this too much to ask for or do I just need to learn to cope with the reality of everyday living. I don’t want to come off as rude or somehow like I’m superior for asking them to accommodate my needs? | ptsd |
It's been years and years since I was on any ADHD medication. Then Ritalin was the big deal ADHD drug so that's what I was given. So I don't remember how I should feel or what.
Anyway.
Last Tuesday I was prescribed 40mg of Vyvanse. I was really hoping everything would be awesome as soon as I took that first dose and I wouldn't need any changes, but I don't think that's the case here.
The first day on my pill I didn't feel much of anything until around 3PM when I started to feel like a zombie. It did upset my stomach and made me vomit a couple of times. With the zombie feeling I thought the dose was too high. The next day I felt decent until around 4PM when I was extremely tired. Every day has been the same since. Incredible tiredness that starts between 2PM and 4PM. Oddly, this past Monday was a great day. No nausea and I felt how I thought I initially would. I tried to replicate everything I did food and drink wise on Tuesday, but I still crashed around 4PM.
I have tried eating when I get tired, making sure I eat throughout the day, caffeine, making sure I'm not taking Vitamin C or anything that would interact close to the time I take the pill. I do take Rybelsus 30 minutes before I take Vyvanse. Not sure if that would have any effect.
Anyone have any suggestions? I see my doctor the 22nd to discuss how I've reacted to the drug this far. | ADHD |
I am a mom to a teen with aspergers. He’s an incredibly gentle soul, he’s intelligent, and he works really, really hard. He has to work even harder than most of his peers in order to achieve what they might consider mediocre results. He has executive functioning delays, so online learning has been a huge challenge for him. He struggles with self-expression, so classes that require personal thoughts and opinions are incredibly frustrating to him. But he’s determined, always, to get it done to the very best of his ability, even if it isn’t quite what a NT kid might produce. Things that come naturally to an NT kid are not natural to an aspie.
Which is why I hate this time in the school year when awards are given out. Because you already know who gets skipped over. Nobody seems to acknowledge how much work and effort it takes for a kid up against those things to succeed. Nobody else sees that kids like my son have to work 3 hours on an English assignment that would take an NT kid 20 minutes to do. He earned every bit of that A- and had to work harder than anyone else for it. But because it’s not an A+, well, sorry, you’re not our favorite? Please.
So, as an aspie mom, to all of you who get skipped over for awards and feel ignored despite what you’ve had to overcome to get where you are, I want you to know that I see you. I see how hard you have to work. I’m proud of you. I see how discouraging the world can be, and most NT people couldn’t endure that kind of frustration on a daily basis. And if I could give every single one of you an award for what you’ve had to overcome, I would. I truly am in awe of you, that you get up every day and keep at it. And I’m sorry the world wasn’t cut out for people like you. I think you’re amazing. You are my favorites. | aspergers |
I don’t have any friends the one friend that I had moved away to another state we still talk on the phone but as far as hanging out with anyone I don’t have that I had a lot of friends I guess you could call them friends I don’t know I got sober to you’re sober now they stayed doing do drugs and other things going back-and-forth to jail I chose not to do that life so I don’t hang out with them anymore I don’t like hanging out with other people or sober that I’ve met because they act like they’re high and mighty and life is just too fucking awesome Idk what to do
The holidays are coming up and I don’t have nobody I can talk to | depression |
I doubt this’ll help anyone else, but I’ve seen a couple people on here saying they named their ocd and imagine it as a person, so I’ve started imagining mine as Ebony from My Immortal. I get some pretty weird obsessions, but it’s so funny to me to imagine it as stuff she just says to be angstsy and dramatic. Helps to rephrase the thoughts with the bad grammar and authors notes, too.
I’d be curious to know if anyone else has a character or person they imagine their ocd as. | OCD |
Its so crazy how fast my life went to shit. In the last 4 years almost everything has been taken from me. I’ve been through lifetimes of stress and I recently just went through a huge financial loss that is just almost unbearable. I’ve been sick to my stomach for weeks. I had issues with mental health but I had the money to support myself and my mom and try to get better (I’m 23 and live w her).
Now that is gone too. For the past 4 years I’ve lost something very important and valuable to me every year. Things that I care deeply about seem to just be all slipping away. First it was a bad acid trip at 19 which started it all, I’ve been severely depersonalize and derealized since then, then i found my father who suddenly died while I was sleeping, then my dogs legs suddenly stop working, now the money that my dad left me is now basically gone and I can’t even afford rent and bills. I just don’t have the energy anymore. It just feels like there’s such a heavy weight on my soul and I don’t know how to lift it.
It’s been hard for so long and keeps getting harder. I used to enjoy life and be a happy kid, now I’m so far from that , that’s what depresses me the most. I just can’t do this for much longer, I feel my life is already ruined, I’ll give it a year or two but if shit keeps getting worse I’m done with this shit. | depression |
A general practitioner suggested I have ADHD. They are not the first to suggest this. I fit almost all of the symptoms (and have since I was a kid) and my little sister was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I have thought about getting tested in the past, but have never been able to cut through all the red tape. Now, I am deciding to make a really big push to try to get help. However, I am having a really difficult time finding a provider.
I am in Los Angeles and on a budget. I have found PyschologyToday and ZocDoc to look for doctors to see me as soon as possible. But it feels impossible to find someone that (a) has availability soon (b) is within my budget and (c) does not have horrible reviews online.
What was your strategy for finding a psychiatrist? Are horrible reviews common in psychiatry? Do/Should I have to suffer through a few more months to see someone good? | ADHD |
(F22) I remember as a child being bullied a lot. In this case we were 5 years old. One of the girls wasn’t doing it a lot; she seemed the nicest in the group. It was her friends mostly doing it. I think she laughed along, carrying on the bullying w her friends, but she was probably kinda ignorant to the jokes and stuff going on. One day she invited me to her birthday party, bc her mom made her invite all the girls in the class. She had a super nice house and I was jealous of her life: friends, parents, etc. I had a horrible time at the party. When we came back to school the next week, she said something to me. I don’t remember how it happened, but I remember going up to her and explaining in detail how I will kill her parents. Maybe as a threat if they bully me again, or I just said it. I was 5. I used to be super mean to my younger sister growing up too, whom no longer talks to me now. And I resented my most recent ex so much, I made him absolutely miserable. I know I’m manipulative. But idk what this part of me could be. I’ve never gotten diagnosed for something besides Pure O/severe depression/anxiety/bipolar. | OCD |
So for a little while ago, my little sister (f14) got diagnosed with OCD. This is something my mom told me, not my sister herself. She's not that type of person to be very open with everyone, about everything anyways. It kinda feels like she's ashamed of herself..
I really care about her, and can absolutely see that she is battling hard against her struggles. She cant keep up with school anymore, isolating herself from friends and family, and prefer to be in her room 24/7 all the time.
As Said, this is something my mom told me, and i would like to keep it that way. I think my sister would felt disrespected if she knew, that I knew about her diagnose. I think that if this is something she wants everyone to know, she would've told it herself. But she didnt, and i respect it!!<3
But anyways, what should i do instead to help and support her? Should I learn more about the diagnose? Any type of support you guys think would help her situation?
All love, thanks<3 | OCD |
My OCD had several waves, just like COVID waves.
When i was 13-14, it was at an all time high, it consisted of me obsessing about my health, about heart health, as well as a fear of others dying and myself included, these obsessions took about 8 hours off my day, at 15 i had terrible POCD, it got to a point i felt like i was a monster. Suddenly around 16 it went away, i was shocked, no more OCD for me, before at around age 18 my symptoms started reappearing, and after a traumatic event, it got to a full blown crisis, i had a mental health breakdown, eventually i was prescribed medication and that helped me, up till age 21, where i had a 2nd mental breakdown so my dose was changed, i had about 3-4 sessions of counselling, i again hit remission till age 23 (my age now) before it returned pretty hardly a month ago, and a dose adjustment sorted that out. But i have learned so much about this disease, it is the harshest most strong doubting disease ever, it destroys your life. and will be with you forever, you need to get to know the monster and what he does | OCD |
I love to draw, sew, knit, make miniatures, but I can't really get started unless I have something *juuuuust* the right amount of engaging in the background.
If this is you too, what do you watch? I need more!
#Here's my ideal background noise:
- Interesting subject, but it doesn't really matter if I tune in and out. I like creepy mysteries, true crime, movie & tv analysis, internet mysteries, non-alt right qanon-esque conspiracy theory stuff, internet subculture or hobby drama type videos, etc. But I'm suuuuper open to other stuff that's worked for you!!
- **Videos not podcasts & audiobooks please!** I listen to both, but for whatever reason I also like to have a visual element to occasionally look at while crafting. Movies don't work because I have to be able to look at what I'm doing. Therefore, youtube.
- The longer the better, it's hard to focus if I have to keep trying to find videos to watch, putting down what I'm doing, getting distracted by other things on my phone etc. Long playlists will work too! I'm serious, bring me your 8 hour videos!
#Examples of some faves:
- Sarah Z: [A Brief History of Homestuck](https://youtu.be/ohFyOjfcLWQ) & [Tumblr's $6000 Scam](https://youtu.be/J5BXUDxpDug)
- Wendigoon: [Conspiracy Theory Iceberg Playlist](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLfeWBGty_481haNoS_ozOVdIyOpyXMjUC)
- Twin Perfect: [Twin Peaks Explained ](https://youtu.be/7AYnF5hOhuM)
- This 7 hour [Unsolved Mysteries That Cannot Be Explained](https://youtu.be/7KvOtAl8cec) video
Thanks guys ♥️
Also, if this is you, consider the above my recommendations! | ADHD |
I've suffered with depression for years and I'm only 11 you probably think I'm attention seeking but I'm not you still won't believe me but I've starting to give up on school and trying to be healthy I've had 4 failed attempts but now I have to take vitamins and that bc I'm not sleeping I'm not eating healthy | depression |
I’ve seen lots of videos of interviews where celebrities claim they have OCD then say they enjoy having it and it is a part of them. Well, OCD is a part of you - if you have it - but there is nothing to like about it. | OCD |
One time I saw a really kind person stream on youtube today. It was a rather wholesome moment and I said "I hope you don't die in a car crash" and I start worrying that they will. This happens to me when I get in touch with anyone. Family members, friends, internet personalities I watch, etc... My care for a friend or family gets so overbearing.
It's kinda awkward and worrying that I am overbearing.
This happens all the time. I am also worried that I might injure someone. Like I might lose control of my body and shove someone. Does anyone have the same thing? An overbearing OCD if that's what you call it | OCD |
I've recently found this sub-reddit and has spent some time reading posts and comments. While for the most part the posts are fine a lot of the comments and '' response'' posts are really defeatist with an amount of apathy towards the poster' s situation. This in combination to a minor trend of bitterness to so called NTs. Makes it seem to me like this place could do with a bit of a refocus on how we should veiw ourselves.
I think that we should view ourselves as just different no better no worse than NTs. There is a balance between self acceptance and social acceptance and thinking yourself to be '' diseased'' or although less common ''smarter'' As if we don't veiw ourselves as equal why should others? | aspergers |
It's happened to me all my life, but it's especially troubling at work. I'll be midway through a particular job or task and suddenly start thinking of something else (such as another task or something unrelated to work), causing me to completely forget what I was doing in the first place. If it's another task I'm thinking of, I often end up leaving to go do it, both forgetting and leaving my original task unfinished. It's made my boss upset and I HATE IT!!!!
I don't know if it's necessarily related to Aspergers, but I needed to vent somewhere. It's caused me a lot of trouble. | aspergers |
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