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curator of large mammals? | Marge have you seen my lunch box? |
We need the money, and my life is pretty boring. Last week some Jehovah's Witnesses came to the door and I wouldn't let them leave. They snuck away when I went in the kitchen to get more lemonade. | Yeah, lemonade is good. |
I think it's wonderful. Mom and Dad side by side at the power plant. You'll be just like Marie and Pierre Curie. | Wha dey do? |
I'll just be a minute. I have to finish this paperwork. | Marge, Marge, Marge, let's file this under "R" for arrivederci. |
But, where does it go? | Don't worry, baby. That tube'll know what to do. |
That woman -- she's so captivating. Smithers, my heart's pounding like a jackhammer. | Marge, get my gun. |
It's working! It's working! And the healthy snacks are on their way. | You can't take our donuts! |
Springtime fresh, winter white... what could be better? | Oh, man, I really gotta... |
Homie, what's wrong? | I'm used to seeing people promoted ahead of me... friends... co-workers... Tibor... I never thought it'd be my own wife. |
Well, maybe you'd get promoted if you worked a little harder. | Are you kidding? I work like a Japanese Beaver. |
Oh really? I came to see you three times today. Twice you were sleeping and once you were kicking that ball of electrical tape around. | Well, I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy. I'm gonna go right down stairs, unfold the couch, unroll a sleeping bag... Eh, goodnight. |
You know the problem here was water leakage. If you just buy a fifty cent washer -- | I've got a better idea -- get the hell out! |
Well, I guess that's it. People like us can't afford justice. Come on Homie, let's go before he fires you too. | No! Mr. Burns, I'm not leaving until you say you're sorry for what you did to my wife. |
You love her, too. | Damn right! |
Homer, I want you to show this woman the time of her life. | Gotcha. Marge, we're gettin' some drive-thru then we're doin' it twice. |
That medicine's not for you. | Come on, Marge. Maybe I'm not getting enough ...estrogen. |
Set sail for "The Fryin' Dutchman." | Aye, aye Captain! Marge, we're going to that restaurant. |
But I think I'm allergic to seafood. The last time I ate shrimp, my throat closed up and I went into convulsions. | Mmmm, shrimp. |
I guess I should explain. Laura's father and I divorced two years ago. Oh, they're so sweet when you marry them, but soon it's just career, career, career. | My hammock! Do you understand? Mine! Don't look that way. |
Hurts, don't it? | ...All you can eat, ha! |
Daad! | Shut up, you little monsters! Hello, I was wondering if you'd like to baby-sit my little angels. |
I'll send Laura over to baby-sit as soon as she gets home. | Great. Oh, uh... and there was something else. Something I was supposed to tiptoe around... |
My divorce. | That's it! Whew, I'm glad one of us remembered. That could have been embarrassing. |
I'm not. | Right. Me neither. We're talkin' about sex, right? |
Right. | I hear you loud and clear. |
Excellent choice... and for the gentleman? | All you can eat. All you can eat. |
Six bells, time for closin'. | Can't talk... eating. |
Fairly warned be thee, says I. | Hey, hey, hey! |
Fairly warned be thee, says I. | But the sign said "All you can eat." |
Oh, please don't. For me? | Sorry Marge, this is my quest. I'm like that guy -- that Spanish guy -- you know, he fought the windmills... |
Don Quixote? | No, that's not it. What's his name? The Man of La Mancha. |
Don Quixote. | No! |
I really think that was the character's name... Don Quixote! | Fine. I'll look it up. |
Well, who was it? | Never mind. |
It's not working! | All right. Hit the change of venue button. Now! |
Mr. Simpson, this is the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since my suit against the film "The Neverending Story." | So you think I have a case? |
Homer, I don't use the word "hero" very often. But you are the greatest hero in American history. | Woo hoo! |
Dad, I have some questions about women. | Uhh... can't you see I'm reading the uh... |
Dad, I have some questions about women. | ..._______ calendar? Hmm... Ooh, Mostly Mozart is in town. |
Homer, Bart's at a very curious age. As his father, I think you should have a frank and earthy discussion about...hmmm, you know. | But Marge, I think he should learn about it the same way I did. |
Are you sure...? | Maybe you're right. Now, if you'll excuse us, this is a sacred moment between a boy and his father. |
Dad, if there's a really special girl and she likes some clod who's beneath her, what should you do? | Son, a woman is a lot like, uh... ... a refrigerator. They're about six feet tall, 300 pounds... they make ice and ... Oh, wait a minute, actually, a woman is more like a beer! They smell good -- they look good -- you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You want to drink another wo... |
Dad, if there's a really special girl and she likes some clod who's beneath her, what should you do? | So I says, "Yeah, if you want that money, come and find it 'cause I don't know where it is you baloney..." You make me wanna retch... |
Good luck in your trumped-up law suit, Dad. | Thanks, that means a lot to me. |
It was a moonless night, dark as pitch, when out of the mist came a beast more stomach than man. | Hey! |
Uh, there's a pizza here for... | Right here. |
You're dead weight, Marty. | Ohh. |
You're dead weight, Marty. | Well, I got him as good as he got me. |
Now, before I give you the check, one more question: Uh, this place "Moe's" you left just before the accident: this is a business of some kind? | It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography. |
She'll go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene. | What country is this car from? |
This exhibit is closed. | The Batmobile! |
This exhibit is closed. | Adam West! Hey kids, Batman! |
Michelle Pfeiffer... ha! The only true "Catwoman" is Julie Newmar, Lee Merriwether or Eartha Kitt. And I didn't need molded plastic to improve my physique. Pure West. And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore? Remember the Batusi? | Nice meetin' ya! Just keep moving. Don't make eye contact. |
Michelle Pfeiffer... ha! The only true "Catwoman" is Julie Newmar, Lee Merriwether or Eartha Kitt. And I didn't need molded plastic to improve my physique. Pure West. And how come Batman doesn't dance anymore? Remember the Batusi? | Wow! Just think what I could do with that plow. |
Homer, I've got to sneak these viable artworks out of the White House. But I can't get out of my driveway because of those protesters. | Mr. President, those young people are about to get a dose of reality. |
Homer, I've got to sneak these viable artworks out of the White House. But I can't get out of my driveway because of those protesters. | Eh, I can't afford it. |
Pally, this doesn't cost money, it makes money! You make the payments by plowing driveways on the side. | Well... I really should discuss this with my wife. |
Your wife? | What? You think I'm going to buy a twenty thousand dollar truck just because you make that noise? |
I can't believe you bought that plow. We can't afford it. | If you're gonna get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things. |
Good. | Fine. I'll never ever do another stupid thing. Good night! |
Oh, Homie, didn't that hurt? | No. |
And now, to read from the Epistles of St. Paul, Homer Simpson. | Dear Lord, in your infinite wisdom, you know the number to call when you need a plow is KLONDIKE 5-3226. |
Homer, this is really low. | Not as low as my low, low prices. |
Homer, this is really low. | Uh, huh, that's Mr. Plow. |
Act now and get a bonus CD: "Hornpipe Fever." Arrgh. | Hmmm. |
Act now and get a bonus CD: "Hornpipe Fever." Arrgh. | Almost time for our commercial. |
Dad, who's watching TV at 3:17 a.m.? | Alcoholics, the unemployable, angry loners... |
Look! There we are! | It may be on a lousy channel but the Simpsons are on TV! |
That's right! I fill your driveways with ice and snow! What are you gonna do about it? Nuthin', that's what. | Stop! |
Mr. Plow! | Get out of here, you lousy... season! |
Uh-huh. | Then call KLONDIKE 5-3226. Call now and receive a free T-shirt. |
Uh-huh. | He could still surprise ya! |
But I'm a real tightwad. Can I afford this remarkable system? | Absolutely! My prices are so low, you'll think I've suffered brain damage. |
You are fully bonded and licensed by the city, aren't you Mr. Plow? | Shut up, boy. |
You are fully bonded and licensed by the city, aren't you Mr. Plow? | So remember... |
You are fully bonded and licensed by the city, aren't you Mr. Plow? | CALL MISTER PLOW, THAT'S MY NAME! THAT NAME AGAIN IS MISTER PLOW! |
You are fully bonded and licensed by the city, aren't you Mr. Plow? | Well, John Q Driveway has our number. Now we play the waiting game. |
You are fully bonded and licensed by the city, aren't you Mr. Plow? | The waiting game sucks. Let's play "Hungry, Hungry Hippos." |
I wish I was a hero. | Well wishing won't make it so. You've got to pull up your diaper, get out there, and be the best damn Barney you can be. |
Here I come world! | How do you think he'll do, Moe? |
This might sound silly, but just for a change, would you mind... | Cutting my nails? Brushing my teeth? |
No. No. Could you wear the Mr. Plow jacket. Just uh... for fun. | Oooh. Heh heh heh. |
No. No. Could you wear the Mr. Plow jacket. Just uh... for fun. | CALL MR. PLOW / THAT'S MY NAME / THAT NAME AGAIN IS MR. PLOW. |
No. No. Could you wear the Mr. Plow jacket. Just uh... for fun. | Ah, white gold. |
No. No. Could you wear the Mr. Plow jacket. Just uh... for fun. | What the... What happ... uh... oh no... |
Hi ya, Homer! Say hello to the Plow King! | Barney, you stole my idea! |
Thank you, Plow King-a-lee-ding. | Flanders, I thought I was your plow man. |
Ah, Homer, why don't you plow it again? | Forget it pal. I don't need your phoney baloney job. I'll take your money but I'm not gonna plow your driveway. |
Hello, I'm calling from Delinquent Accounts at Kumatsu Motors -- | Oh, you want the Mister Plow who plows driveways. This is Tony Plow. You know... from "Leave It To Beaver"? Yeah, they were gay. |
Hello, I'm calling from Delinquent Accounts at Kumatsu Motors -- | Oh, what am I gonna do? |
I think you should do a new ad. One that's fresh and original. | I know! I'll do a rap. I'M MR. PLOW AND I'M HERE TO SAY: I'M THE PLOWINGEST GUY IN THE USA / I GOT A BIG PLOW AND I MOVE A LOT OF THINGS / LIKE YOUR COW IT YOU HAVE ONE. |
Promise you'll never do that again. | All right. |
Dad, was that your commercial? | I don't know. |
These look like teeth marks. | I thought there was chocolate inside. |
These look like teeth marks. | Well, why was it wrapped in foil? |
That's great Arnie. | Hmm... |
That's great Arnie. | Hello... Plow King? I was wondering if you could plow my driveway on top of forbidding Widow's Peak. |
I don't know. I'd be up there all day... I wouldn't be able to plow any other driveways... | There's a $10,000 bill in it for you. |
Oh yeah? Which president's on it? | Uh... all of them. They're having a party. Jimmy Carter's passed out on the couch. |
Well, I guess you can plow my driveway. But I wonder what happened to the Plow King. | Well, I guess he just doesn't respect his customers. |
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