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Oh no, not another boring space launch! Change the channel! Change the channel! | I can't! I can't! |
God, I wish there was an easier way. | Hello, is this NASA? |
Yes. | Good. Listen, I'm sick of your boring space launches. Now I'm just an ordinary blue collar slob, but I know what I likes on TV... |
How did you get this number? | Shut up. And another thing - how come I can't get no Tang 'round here? And also... hold on a second. |
Are you the person that called NASA yesterday? | No. It wasn't me, I swear. It was... him. |
Well, welcome aboard. I think you'll find that this will win you the respect of your family and friends. | Respect?! Nooo! It was me! I made the crank call. I do it all the time. Check with the FBI, I have a file. I HAVE A FIIIIILE. |
Uh... question for the barbecue chef: don't you think there is an inherent danger in sending under-qualified civilians into space? | I'll field this one. The only danger is if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes. ...Wait a minute, Statue of Liberty... That was our planet. You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell. |
No, not that far from shame. | Less shame? |
You know, Homer, when I found out about this I went through a wide range of emotions. First I was nervous, then anxious, then wary, then apprehensive, then kinda sleepy, then worried, and then concerned. But now I realize that being a spaceman is something you have to do. | Who's doin' what now? |
I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN MAJOR GENERAL / I'VE INFORMATION VEGETABLE, ANIMAL, AND MINERAL. | Aw, that's nothin'. Watch this. There once was a man from Nantucket |
I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN MAJOR GENERAL / I'VE INFORMATION VEGETABLE, ANIMAL, AND MINERAL. | I can't stands no more. |
I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN MAJOR GENERAL / I'VE INFORMATION VEGETABLE, ANIMAL, AND MINERAL. | Mmmmm. Mediciney. |
So Barney, we hear you're kickin' ass. | Ahem... I uh... don't think this contest is over yet, Buzz. If that is your real name. I believe there Is still a little something called the swimsuit competition. |
There's no swimsuit competition, Homer. | You mean I shaved my bikini zone for nothing?! |
Well, Homer. I guess you're the winner by default. | Default? Woo hoo! The two sweetest words in the English language. De-fault! De-fault! De- |
Homer, you already dialed. | Oh. |
But on the other hand, when you don't take advantage of an opportunity, you can end up regretting it for the rest of your life. | Ants! |
Mission control, this is Corvair, launch sequence initiated. All systems go. | Are we there yet? I'm thirsty. |
Some good news, gentlemen, we have quite a treat for ya. We've been able to coax superstar James Taylor in here at mission control to wish you well and play a little of his own brand of laid back adult contemporary music. | Wow! Former president James Taylor. |
All right, here we go: three, two, one, make hatch blow...now! | And that is that. |
All right, here we go: three, two, one, make hatch blow...now! | No! |
With that hatch open, we'll burn up on reentry. That's it! If I go, I'm taking you to hell with me. | Wait a minute Race! Wait a minute. Wait!...Ah-ha! Now I'll bust that pretty face of yours. |
With that hatch open, we'll burn up on reentry. That's it! If I go, I'm taking you to hell with me. | Stupid bar. |
Wait, Homer. If that bar holds, we just might make it back to earth. | I'll bash you good. |
Aww, they were just about to show some close-ups of the rod. | Stupid rod. I got gypped. |
Yeah, Dad. How many people have seen the ice caps and the deserts all at once, or the majesty of the northern lights from one hundred miles above? | Yeah, maybe I do have the right... what's that stuff? Anyway, thanks, Marge, Lisa. |
Hey, Dad... sell you these for fifty bucks. | Woo hoo! Sold! |
Those aren't tickets to the game, Homer. | What do you mean? It says right here: "Free wig with every purchase of large wig. Downtown Wig Center." Why you little... Hmmm... Free wig. |
Those aren't tickets to the game, Homer. | I love you, Homey. Heh, heh, heh. I don't need her at all anymore. |
That was Bobby McFerrin's new one, "I'm Worried, Need Money!" Okay, if you want two tickets to the big Pigskin Classic just get to a phone and be our thirteenth caller! | Get tickets. Must get tickets. Find phone. Yes! |
That was Bobby McFerrin's new one, "I'm Worried, Need Money!" Okay, if you want two tickets to the big Pigskin Classic just get to a phone and be our thirteenth caller! | Oh stupid sheep. |
Ned Flanders... | Not Flanders. Anybody, but Flanders. |
I'VE GOT TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE / WON'T YOU PACK YOUR BAGS TO LEAVE TONIGHT / | I'VE GOT TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE / I'VE GOT TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE... |
I'VE GOT TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE / WON'T YOU PACK YOUR BAGS TO LEAVE TONIGHT / | Excellent guitar riff. |
What's so special about this game anyway? It's just another chapter in the pointless rivalry between Springfield and Shelbyville. They built a mini mall so we built a bigger mini mall. They made the world's largest pizza so we burnt down their city hall. | Heh, heh, heh. Yeah they swore they'd get us back by spiking our water supply. But they didn't have the guts. |
Oooh, the walls are melting again. | God, if you really are God, you'll get me tickets to that game. |
Homer, that's not God, that's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there. | I know I shouldn't eat thee but... Mmmm... sacri-licious. |
Homer! | Huh? |
Are you planning to hit Ned Flanders with that pipe and take his tickets? | Y- No. |
Are you planning to hit Ned Flanders with that pipe and take his tickets? | Flanders, I decided I'd like to go to the game with you. |
Well, get out the Crayolas and color me tickled pink! Oh, what's with the lead pipe? Were you gonna give my noggin a floggin'? | Well, yeah. |
What? | Hi. |
Wow, these are amazing seats, huh Homer? | Yeah. |
Wow, these are amazing seats, huh Homer? | Hey everybody, here comes fun! |
Wow, these are amazing seats, huh Homer? | Heh heh. Ow. |
What the hell happened to my dogs? I want answers. | Well, I guess I should pay my share... |
Relax, Homer, I keep tellin' ya, you're my guest. | Ooh, you brought me a nacho hat. Thanks, Ned. |
Relax, Homer, I keep tellin' ya, you're my guest. | NACHO, NACHO MAN / I WANT TO BE A NACHO MAN. |
Relax, Homer, I keep tellin' ya, you're my guest. | If anyone can pull it off, it's Stan "The Boy" Taylor. |
Stan, Stan, he's our boy, if he can't do it, no one ...will. | We won! We won! Flanders, we won! |
Heh-heh, yeah. | Losers! Losers! Kiss my big Springfield behind, Shelbyville! |
Heh-heh, yeah. | I am invincible! Invincible! |
Heh-heh, yeah. | Ow! |
Hidilly ho, Stanster. | You know Stan Taylor? |
Know me? Ned Flanders saved me. I used to party all night and sleep with lingerie models, until Ned and his Bible group showed me that I could have more. | Professional athletes. Always wantin' more. |
Sure. Anything for Neddie. Here you go. | Wow, thanks. Now I have four children. You will be called "Stitch-face." Wow, Flanders, this is about the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. |
Ooo, I guess it's time for me to duck again. | No! I want everyone to know that this is Ned Flanders... my friend! |
Homer, that's our wedding photo. | Marge, quit livin' in the past. |
Uh, be careful there, Homer. That is sort of a new table. | Watch this, Ned. They don't call me Springfield Fats just because I'm morbidly obese. |
Uh, be careful there, Homer. That is sort of a new table. | Now you got a law suit on your hands. Just kidding. |
That's all well and good for sheep, but what are we to do? | Boring. Let's watch something else. |
Now, boys, Mr. Simpson is the guest. He gets to decide what to watch. | Yeah. |
Now, boys, Mr. Simpson is the guest. He gets to decide what to watch. | Hey what gives? I thought you had a satellite dish. |
Good night, Daddy. Good night, Uncle Homer. | Aw, Uncle Homer. Ned, since you've let me spend time with your family, I want you to get to know my family. |
Honey, I'm so glad you're home-- | Can't talk... see Flanders... later sex. |
...Bless the grocer for this wonderful meat, the middlemen who jacked up the price, and let's not forget the humane but determined boys over at the slaughter house. | Hiya, Flanders! Oooh... dinner! May I join you? |
Homer, I-I'd love to chitty-chat, but tonight's the night I do my charity work. | Oh, yeah. A judge made me do that once, too. Stupid lack of public urinals. Hey, just so you don't have to suffer alone, I'm comin' with ya. |
Oh, you poor, unfortunate man. Let's get you out of those clothes immediately. And we'll do whatever we can about the smell. | But... all right. |
Oh, you poor, unfortunate man. Let's get you out of those clothes immediately. And we'll do whatever we can about the smell. | C'mon! We've been here for fifteen minutes. Can't you see they're sucking the life out of us? |
Homer, maybe you'd have had more fun at Moe's tonight. | Ah, for some reason, Moe's is always closed on Wednesdays. |
...And then they realized they were no longer little girls, they were little women. | Come on, come on, just give 'em the slop and lets get out of here. Oh, I can do it faster that that. |
Homey, I'm very proud of you, but don't you think you're spending too much time with Ned? Your family needs you too. | Oh of course you'd say something like that, Marge. You've hated Ned for years. In fact, you wanted to bash his head in with a pipe. |
That was you! | Love, Marge. Don't hate. Love. |
WELL\WELL\WELL...W-W-W-WELL\WELL\WELL... | Ha, ha. You know something, he did say 'well' a lot. |
How are my boys doin', Homer? | They're fine. |
We're headin' back. Todd's got Zesty Italian in his eye. | Okay. But at least let me take the boat out for one last spin! |
Oh, I don't know... | Too late. |
Oh Lord, please give me the strength to endure Homer Simpson's friendship. | Humph, your car. Boy, what are the odds, huh? |
Oh! Almost. Boy that was close. | Hey, what's up for today, Neddie? |
Ah, uh, Homer, we're gonna visit the boys' grandmother. Family only. You know? | Right, no reporters. |
No, I-I mean just the Flanders family. | O-okay. |
I can't, it's a Geo! | Hmmm. Guess he didn't see me. |
I think we should leave. | Hey Flanders, over here. I got us some kick-ass seats. |
Before I get started on today's sermon entitled , "What Ned Did," I'd like to publicly congratulate Homer Simpson on his recent charity work. | I live to give. |
Thank you. Thank you so much, Homer. You really are a you're a true friend. | Right back atcha, buddy. |
Thank you. Thank you so much, Homer. You really are a you're a true friend. | Now how 'bout that game at the Pitch 'n Putt? |
Hi-diddly ho, neighbor. | Get lost, Flanders. |
Okilly-dokilly. | See, I told ya. There's nothin' to worry about. This place isn't... |
Hi, Mom. | Hi, Mom. |
Uh, it's hard for us to leave when you're standing there, Mom. | Push her down, son. |
I think you'll find that escape is impossible. Now each one of you take a floor and get started. | I call the basement. |
Amen, Ernie. | All done. |
You're not done. I want you to throw away these old calendars and TV Guides. | Are you mad, woman? You never know when an old calendar might come in handy. Sure it's not nineteen eighty-five right now, but who knows what tomorrow will bring? And these TV Guides... so many memories. |
You're not done. I want you to throw away these old calendars and TV Guides. | "Gomer upsets Sergeant Carter." Ooooh, I'll never forget that episode! |
Shazam! | Shazam. |
Stop remembering TV and get back to work. | What's the point of all this cleaning? Are we so vain? |
Wah-wah. | "Use only in a well ventilated area." |
Wah-wah. | Shove it, buddy. |
Homer, what's going on down there? | Nothing. |
Then stop screaming so loud. | Okay. |
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