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Hey, you lost your money fair and square. I didn't scam nobody. | Oh-ho, put down your stick. We're here to work. |
Aw, now don't worry. That's just to scare off thieves. | Hmm... |
Aw, now don't worry. That's just to scare off thieves. | Yeah, he's telling the truth. |
Aw, now don't worry. That's just to scare off thieves. | Thanks for the food, Mister... |
Ah, there you are. You two ready to work? | Yes, sir! |
So what's our first job, huh? Test the roller coaster? | Fry up some cheese? |
Ohh, this isn't fun... Maybe if you didn't go to the bathroom so much, you wouldn't be so small. | Please, folks. Hold your fire. The water level is dangerously low. Oh! |
Ohh, this isn't fun... Maybe if you didn't go to the bathroom so much, you wouldn't be so small. | Oh-ho-ho-ho! Ow! My leg! |
Go on, give it a try. And remember, big smiles. | Oh. Bart? |
Yeah, Dad? | Do I like chicken? |
Does it matter? | I guess not. |
Dad, we're saved! | Buddy, you're the luckiest chicken in the world. |
Ya see, the trick here is, the rings won't fit over the good prizes. | Oh, we'll see about that. Gimme ten rings. |
Well, we gotta git. Here's the money box. Uh, any questions? | Ah, yes. How do we handle refunds? |
Good move. | Gimme ten rings. |
Lookie, lookie, hey, hey, wocka, wocka! I got rings and you want 'em! Win a genuine Ronex watch. Just like a real moogie star! | Hey, there's a sucker. |
We're natural born carnies, Dad. If only we weren't tied down with a family... | Yeah, we could start our own game, where people throw ducks at balloons, and nothing's the way it seems. |
But I got a few complaints that your game is crooked. | And how... |
Gee, I'd hate to close you down. Maybe we can reach a little, ah, "understanding" here... | I understand. |
Um, hey, Dad, I, I think he wants a... | Not right now, son. Daddy's talking to a policeman. |
Uh, let me put it this way. I'm looking for my friend "Bill." Have you seen any "Bills" around here? | No. He's Bart. |
Listen carefully and watch me wink as I speak. Okay? | Okay. |
The guy I'm really looking for, wink, is Mr. "Bribe," wink, wink. | It's a ring toss game. |
All right, that's it. I'm shutting this game down. | Well, ain't that somethin'. |
I'm goin' for a corn dog. You want one? | Yes, but first there's a little matter of the Carny Code. |
I'm goin' for a corn dog. You want one? | Cooder, Spud. Get off that hog. You're coming to stay at our house. |
How long are those roustabouts going to be staying here? | Oh, it won't be long. Once their resume gets out, they'll have all kinds of offers. The older one can pull out his left eye. |
Ooo, what a nice surprise! This is so generous of you, Cooder. | Now who's the filthy sleezebag, uh Marge? |
What's going on? | Cooder! What have you done to our house? |
They're squatting in our house? | You can't do this to me. What about the Carny Code? |
Well, well, look who's here. Mr. No Bribe. Sure, we'll help ya. Just sit down and wait for Detective Like-I-give-a-damn. | Thank you so much. |
Well, well, look who's here. Mr. No Bribe. Sure, we'll help ya. Just sit down and wait for Detective Like-I-give-a-damn. | Honey, Daddy's waiting for the detective. |
That Urkle's a hoot. | Listen to 'em, watching my television, sittin' on my couch... You better not be in my ass-groove! |
Homer! | It took me years to forge that groove. |
Homer!! | Stupid Gravity. |
No fires! | I've got it! |
There must be a way to outsmart them. | Aw, you can't outsmart carnival folk. They're the cleverest folk in the world. Just look at the way they sucker regular folk with those crooked games. That's it! Fire! Or... |
Yeah, I'm listenin'. | One game of ring toss. If I can throw this Hula Hoop onto the chimney, you'll give us our house back. If I miss, I'll sign the deed over to you. |
So we'd own the house legit? | That's right. |
Oh, I can't watch. | Now! |
Way to go, Dad. You actually outwitted someone. | Yeah, I guess your old man is smarter than you thought. |
Way to go, Dad. You actually outwitted someone. | Look at 'em standing out there. No place to go. Heh, heh. Poor guys. Hey, what if we let 'em stay here for just a few days? |
Homer... | My groove! |
Homer... | They mushed it all out of shape. |
Homer... | All right, better put on a pot of coffee, Marge. This could take a while. |
Homer... | Come on now, just a little more. Little more to the left... to the left there. What did he do this thing? Almost... Ahhhhhhhhh |
Thanks for lettin' me skip school to see the team come back from the championship, Dad. | I always say, a boy can learn more at an airport than he can at any school. |
Have you heard of Krishna Consciousness? | This, Bart, is a crazy man. |
Do unto others as you would have them do unto you! | Right. That'll work. |
A new and better life awaits you on our distant home planet, Blisstonia. | Hmm. Makes sense. |
We're having a free get-acquainted session at our resort this weekend. | How much is this free resort weekend? |
It's free. | And when is this weekend? |
It's this weekend. | Uh huh. And how much does it cost? |
Um, it's free. | I see. And when is it? |
It's this weekend. | And what are you charging for this free weekend? |
C'mon, Dad! The team's arriving! | It's free, right? |
You bought four of them. Thank God the check bounced. | So, I beat the system. |
Watch yourself, Dad. You're the highly suggestible type. | Yes. I am the highly suggestible type. |
Welcome, brother! | Outta my way, jerk ass! |
Welcome, brother! | NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA FISH-ING / NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA FISH-ING / FISH-ING, FISH-ING-- |
Hi, how are y-- | Fish-ing. |
It certainly is a beautiful day. We should thank the Leader. | Who the hell is that? Some kind of leader? |
Why don't you come chat with us about the Leader at the Welcome Center. | Will there be beer? |
Beer is not allowed. | Homer no function beer well without. |
Would you rather have beer or complete and utter contentment? | What kind of beer? |
The Leader knows how miserable you, Marge, Lisa, Bart and Maggie are. | Really? I'm surprised about Maggie. |
Just come up and watch our orientation film. You're free to leave at anytime. | Wow, a free movie. Thanks! Outta my way, jerk ass. |
Just come up and watch our orientation film. You're free to leave at anytime. | Whoa, you've got my number on that one, buddy! This is a smart group. |
And your stink brings tears to my eyes! | Now wait a minute, Moe -- |
The Leader is perfect! | Wait - I'm confused about the movie. So the cops knew that internal affairs was setting them up? |
What are you talking about? There's nothing like that in there. | Well, you see, when I get bored, I make up my own movie. I have a very short attention span. |
But our point is very simple. You see when -- | Ooh, look a bird. |
Yeah, lose some weight! / Amen you're fat / moron-type | Uh yeah, I guess I could lose a few pounds. And I can be kind of thick sometimes. |
You've failed at everything you've ever tried. | Oh, my mistake. |
He even ate mine! | You gonna finish that, bony? |
Or... NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA LEADER / NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA LEADER.... | NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA LEADER / NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA LEADER / LEA-DER, LEA-DER, LEA-DER! |
Or... NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA LEADER / NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA LEADER.... | BATMAN! / I MEAN, LEADER! I LOVE THE LEADER! |
Or... NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA LEADER / NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA LEADER.... | ACT II |
You what?! | Come again, Marge? |
You what?! | I've joined the Movementarians! And so have all of you! |
We what? | All I had to give them was our life savings, the deed to the house, and a commitment of ten trillion years of labor. |
I can't go along with this, Homer. | Marge, when I join an underground cult, I expect a little support from my family. |
Dad, do you think you might have been brainwashed? | I have not been brainwashed. Kill the girl. Kill the girl. |
Homer! | What? What did I say? |
Oh, yes you are. I'm afraid it's our home now. This house will become the new local Welcome Center for this district. | And it didn't cost us a dime. |
Homer Simpson, your family will be housed here for the first 100,000 years. Then something might open up in a double. | Hah, why even unpack? |
Yeah, maybe it'll wear off. Like his interest in C.B. radio. | That's a negatory, good buddy! |
Oh, Lord. Uh, try the emergency plate, Ned. | See, Marge? Our lives are so much better now! |
The Leader! / He's coming! / The Leader is coming! / The Leader! / etc. | Oh boy! We get to see the Leader pass by. |
We toil in the fields and he rides around in a Rolls Royce? | Yes, it would be nice if he'd buy American, but what are ya gonna do? |
Oh, look who the new pet is! | I've never been so happy. |
This is ridiculous, we're already married! | But Marge, we're not mass married. |
Yaaay! Here comes the Leader! | What an honor! We've been called into the presence of -- |
All right, Now, what's so all-fired great about your fancy-pants Leader? | The Leader knows all and sees all. |
Eww, well, that is impressive. | And he's going to take us to a wonderful new planet. |
Uh, maybe we should take a little break-a-rooney, huh? Anyone like a draft beer? | Beer? |
Homer, you don't have to go with them! | But I want to go. |
He's our husband now. | I'm glad I'm back! Because the moment that sweet, sweet beer hit my tongue, I was born again! |
Hallelujah! | Now I can show all of you what I've come to realize. The reason we're not allowed in the Forbidden Barn is because there is no inter-galactic spaceship! He's taken our money just so he can...build one hell of a spaceship! |
Homer Simpson! Because of your lack of faith, you've ruined mankind's chance for salvation! | Whoops. |
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