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Hey, Homer. Wanna Duff? | No, I'd like a bottle of Henry K. Duff's Private Reserve. |
Yeah, but thank you anyway. | Hey, you guys aren't from around here, are you? |
We are interested in buying the power plant. Do you think the owner would ever sell it? | Well, I happen to know that he won't sell it for less than 100 million dollars. |
We'll have a savings account. We've never had one. Kids, I think everything is going to be okay from now on. | Hey... hey! |
Oh, Homer! | You heard? |
We heard! Isn't it wonderful? We have some great plans for that money. | Well, I'm afraid I had some great plans, too. |
What do you mean? | I spent it on beer. |
You spent fifty-two hundred dollars on beer? | Fifty-two hundred dollars? What are you talking about? |
You spent fifty-two hundred dollars on beer? | What? I sold it all for twenty-five bucks. |
You spent fifty-two hundred dollars on beer? | Ow! |
Ich bin ein Springfielder! | We could all lose our jobs. |
Well, they can't fire me. I'm the only one certified to run the gaseous contaminant particularfier. | Well, they can't fire me. |
Why? | Cuz... I... |
You'll be given a six-week treatment at our drying out facility in Hawaii, after which you'll return at full pay. | Lucky drunks. |
We plan to have some frank discussions with your safety inspector. | Yeah! Sock it to him, Horst! |
One of the economic powers of the world-- | Because we send them money? |
No. Because they're efficient and punctual, with a strong work ethic. | Oh, woa is me. |
Homie, come to bed. | Oh, Marge, I'm gonna be fired. I know it. |
Don't worry. Whatever happens, we'll pay the bills somehow. | Marge, it's not the money. My job is my identity. If I'm not a safety whatchamajigger, I'm nothing. |
Well, if you can't sleep, why don't you do something constructive? | Ooh, Battlestar Galactica. |
Well, if you can't sleep, why don't you do something constructive? | Fit, damn you! Fit! |
Well, if you can't sleep, why don't you do something constructive? | There. |
Yo, Homer. You gotta get ready for work. | Huh? What? |
Homer, could we have a word with you? | No. |
I must have phrased that badly. My English is, how you say... inelegant. I meant to say, may we have a brief, friendly chat? | No! |
We request the pleasure of your company for a free exchange of ideas. | Auugghh! |
You've been safety inspector for two years. What initiatives have you spearheaded in that time? | Uh... all of them? |
I see. Then you must have some good ideas for the future as well. | I sure do! |
Such as... | Well, ah, I wish the candy machine wasn't so picky about taking beat-up dollar bills... because a lot of workers really like candy. |
Mr. Simpson... | La la la la la la... |
Mr. Simpson... | Oh, oh, oh. I'm sorry. We were talking about chocolate? |
That was ten minutes ago! | I think I did pretty good in there. |
I want you to take baths, Bart. | Lousy German know-it-alls, who are they to say I'm not safe? Oh what's the matter with this thing. |
I want you to take baths, Bart. | No problems here. |
Watch me blend in. Barkeep, some cheap domestic beer for me and my "buddy" here. | I'm not your buddy, you greedy old reptile! |
Homer Simpson, sir. Sector Sieben-gruben -- I mean, Sector 7G. Recently terminated. | That's right. I lost my job so that you could have another 100 million dollars. |
Homer Simpson, sir. Sector Sieben-gruben -- I mean, Sector 7G. Recently terminated. | Let me ask you something. Does your money cheer you up when you're feeling blue? |
Yes. | Okay, bad example. So let me ask you this, does your money ever hug you when you come home at night? |
Why, no. | And does it ever say, "I love you?" |
No, it doesn't. | Nobody loves you. Nobody loves you. You're old and you're ugly. Nobody loves you. Yea, yea, yea yea! |
No, it doesn't. | Nobody loves you... |
That was no accident. Let's get out of here. | Na na na na / Na na na na / |
"Barnacle Bill's Home Pregnancy Test"? Homer, shouldn't we have gone with a better-known brand? | But Marge, this one came with a free corncob pipe. |
Okay, let's see... "Ahoy maties! If the water turns blue, a baby for you. If purple ye see, no baby thar be". | Well, what color is it? Blue or purple? |
"If ye test should fail, to a doctor set sail". Well, I guess I'd better go see Dr. Hibbert. | Oh honey, do you really think you're pregnant? |
Well, I have the same nausea and craving for pancake mix I did with the other kids. | Yeah, and I have the same tightness in my chest and profuse sweating I always get. |
Is anything wrong? | No, everything's fine. Your mother uh, just, broke her leg. |
Is Mom gonna have another baby, Dad? | Maybe. |
Ohhh, cool, we can race them. | Yeah, sure, for you a baby's all fun and games. For me, it's diaper changes and midnight feedings. |
Doesn't Mom do that stuff? | Yeah, but I have to hear about it. |
Were you like this when Mom was pregnant with me? | Actually, Bart, I threw up more than your mother. ... It all happened at the beginning of that turbulent decade known as the '80s. |
That's better. Ah, beautiful. Keep this up and someday you'll be the guy who hands out the putters. | Yes, sir. |
It's not our fault our generation has short attention spans, Dad. We watch an appalling amount of TV. | Don't you ever, ever talk that way about television. Lousy, ungrateful... Can't keep their, whaddyacallit... minds... on any uh... |
It's not our fault our generation has short attention spans, Dad. We watch an appalling amount of TV. | Where do you think you're going? You're gonna listen to my story. |
It's not our fault our generation has short attention spans, Dad. We watch an appalling amount of TV. | Your mother was living with her two wicked sisters. |
Homer, do you ever think about the future? | You mean like will apes be our masters? |
No, I mean how you plan to earn a living. I can't imagine that job of yours is very stimulating. | But it gives me time to think. |
No, I mean how you plan to earn a living. I can't imagine that job of yours is very stimulating. | Well, girls I mean I mean boys. I, I mean you! |
I think about you, too. | Wow, what an ending? Who'd have thought Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father. |
I think about you, too. | Marge, you're as pretty as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda. |
Our song. | I'll bet the guy she was singing that about was real happy. |
Actually, she was singing about God. | Oh. Well he's always happy. No, wait. He's always mad. |
You don't have to do that. | Phew, good. |
Homer, maybe it's the Champale talking, but I think you're pretty sexy. | Really? It must be the Champale talking. |
What if we get caught? | Don't worry. This castle is impregnable! |
I need you to drive me to the doctor, Homer. | Why? What's wrong? |
Well, that unforgettable night we... joined the Castle Club... | Oh. |
Son, you gotta marry that girl! | Because it's the honorable thing to do? |
Well, I haven't said no to you lately, have I? | Marge, I... Damn it, where's that card? |
What card? | Oh, I wrote down what I was gonna say on a card. Stupid thing must have fallen out of my pocket. |
Is this it? | What's it say? |
"Marge, from the first moment I saw you I never wanted to be with anyone else. I don't have much to offer you... except all my love. Will you marry me?" | That's the card. Give it here. |
Oh, Homer, this is the most beautiful moment of my life! | So... will you marry me? |
Yes. | Woo hoo! Woo hoo! Yeah! She's gonna marry me. In your face, everybody... Woo hoo! |
Kool Moe Dee. | You know, I had this very same discussion with your mother ten years ago. |
Homer, I've been thinking. If the baby's a boy, what do you think of the name Larry? | Marge, we can't do that! All the kids'll call him Larry Fairy. |
Well, how about Louie? | They'll call him Screwy Louie. |
Bob? | Slob. |
Luke? | Puke. |
Marcus? | Mucous. |
What about Bart? | Let's see... Bart, Cart, Dart, Eeart... Nope, can't see any problem with that. Wow! I'll take that ring! |
Yes sir, and how will you be paying for it? | I don't know. |
Be sure to get this punched every time. The tenth wedding is on the house. | Hey! This marriage is gonna last forever. |
There certainly are a lot of stains on the ceiling. | Marge, I'm sorry. I wish I could afford a better place. |
Homer, I'd be lying if I said that this is how I pictured my wedding day... But you are how I pictured my husband. | I am? |
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and this casino to join... | Homer. |
Homer, same question, names reversed. | I do. |
What a perfect day. | Our first night together as man and wife. |
Homer, I don't know how we can afford all these things on your salary. | Hey, why don't I apply at the nuclear power plant? I hear they pay pretty well. |
I don't know. I heard radiation can make you sterile. | Pfft. Now you tell me. |
I push myself too hard. | Dear Marge, XXX. Homer. |
I push myself too hard. | Well... It takes me a long time to learn anything... I'm kind of a goof-off... |
Okay, that'll do. | ... Little stuff starts disappearing from the workplace. |
That's enough! Next: there's a problem with the reactor, what do you do? | There's a problem with the reactor?! We're all gonna die!!! |
Did you get the job? | Nah, they wanted someone good. Story of my life. |
Oh, Homie. Hey, come over here and feel our baby kicking. | Wow! Kid, I won't let you down. |
Oh, Homie. Hey, come over here and feel our baby kicking. | I swear to you, when you come out of there, the first thing you're gonna see is a man with a good job. |
... You, gentle sir, are fired! | Oh! |
Oh, hello, young man. | Good evening, Madame. You have been selected by the good people of Slash-Co to reap the benefits of their new Nev-R-Dull knife-edge. Here... shake hands with the Slash-Co. |
Oh, hello, young man. | Handle first, handle first... |
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