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Yeah, git yer own habitat. | Come on, Carter, build us a house, you lazy bum. |
Come back here! Why, you yellow belly... | Come on, move it! |
Where are we going, Dad? | How should I know? |
Then why are you driving so fast? | 'Cause I'm trying to think! What would Zorro do? |
Then why are you driving so fast? | Zo-rrooo! |
Then why are you driving so fast? | "Rural route 9?" That's it! We can hide out at the farm where I grew up! |
You mean Grampa's old farm? | Yeah, it'll be fun. Fresh country air, apples for the pickin'... sing-along hayrides... |
What a dump! | Race ya to the swimmin' hole! |
What a dump! | Com'on, Maw. Bring the young 'uns! There's no leeches! Lots of snakes, though. |
Holy moly, we can't stay here. It's full of raccoons. | Just think of 'em as cats with rabies. |
Holy moly, we can't stay here. It's full of raccoons. | Hello, kitty. |
Holy moly, we can't stay here. It's full of raccoons. | You little scamp. |
Are we really gonna live here and grow crops? | Absolutely. This is our big chance. The Simpsons will be reborn as a bunch of gap-toothed bumpkins. |
I'll repress the rage I'm feeling. | That's my girl. Let the agriculture begin! |
It doesn't sound very tractor-y. | Hang on. |
It doesn't sound very tractor-y. | And... there. |
It doesn't sound very tractor-y. | Now we're talkin'! |
Dad! | Go get Lassie. |
Well, well, look at the city slicker pullin' up in his fancy German car. | This car was made in Guatemala. |
Well pardon us, Mr. Gucci loafers. | I bought these shoes from a hobo. |
Well la-dee-da, Mr. Park-Avenue manicure. | I'm sorry, I believe in good grooming. |
You're not gonna grow nothin' on the old Simpson place. That's why your daddy abandoned it. | Aw, what do you know? |
Well, I know your soil pH is up around 9.6, and you need it seven to eight, max. | Oh, that's just superstition. |
Well, I know your soil pH is up around 9.6, and you need it seven to eight, max. | You watch me. I'll grow something out there. |
Wow, Dad, this is the juiciest watermelon I ever tasted. | Yeah, I hope I can grow some like that. |
What are you planting? | Oh, a little bit of everything. |
What are you planting? | Something will thrive in this harsh, merciless soil. |
What are you planting? | And for those who face nature unafraid, it is they who reap the... ah... I'm down. |
Paw! | Move the handbrake... |
Maybe it needs more fertilizer. | I'm only one man, Marge. |
Well, if it isn't Mr. Salad Fork. You couldn't grow stink on a monkey. | Leave me alone, you big bully. |
Dad, if we leave for town right now, we can catch the dinner special at Krusty-Burger. | Sorry, boy. Going back to Springfield would be a coward's way out. |
Wasn't skipping town in the first place a coward's way out? | Oh, you're right. I'm a coward. I've made such a mess of things. If only there was some magic potion that would make those crops grow... |
Wasn't skipping town in the first place a coward's way out? | Wait a minute. |
It's eerily beautiful, but are you sure this is safe? | Of course not. But you know something? Sometimes you have to break the rules to free your heart. |
You got that from a movie poster! | Well, when there's nothing left to believe in, believe in hope. |
Where'd you get that? | From the producers of "Waiting to Exhale." |
Is that plutonium on your gums? | Shut up and kiss me. |
But it's only been one night. | That's all it takes. If we learned one thing from "The Amazing Colossal Man," and "Grasshopperus," it's that radiation makes stuff grow real big, real fast. |
Yeah, but didn't Grasshopperus kill Chad Everett? | Only 'cause he tried to reason with him. |
Oh. | Brace yourselves, everybody. You're about to see the hugest, juiciest, possibly super-intelligent vegetables man has ever known. You might want to crane your necks upward now to save time. |
Oh. | Ta-da! |
Oh, honey, give it up. | Oh, you're right. This farm's hopeless. Why didn't I listen to those inbred hicks? I guess I'll just go hang myself in the barn. |
Wait, Dad, you don't have to kill yourself. | This better be good. |
Something's growing. | A sprout! |
Something's growing. | And there's some more! |
What is it? Carrots? Peas? Maybe it's okra. | Who cares what it is? It's growing! I've saved the farm! |
What is it? Carrots? Peas? Maybe it's okra. | Look at my babies. This tomato will be Heinz ketchup. And this to-mah-to will be Hunt's catsup. |
What is it? Carrots? Peas? Maybe it's okra. | Bup, no fighting, boys. |
Maybe the tomato seeds crossbred with the tobacco seeds. | Oh, great. I got a field full of mutants. |
It does. But it's smooth and mild. And refreshingly addictive. | Addictive, eh? |
"ToMacco?" That's pretty clever, Dad. I mean, for a product that's evil and deadly. | Aw, thanks honey. |
Excuse me, Mr. Farmer man. I promised my son he could tip over his first cow, and I... "ToMacco?" | Yes, it's the latest craze. Try some, won't you? |
I was here first! / C'mon, c'mon people! | Don't push. There's plenty of tomacco for everyone. |
Don't forget your mincemeat pie! | You're scaring the customers, honey. |
Hello, folks. Would you and your family like to take a ride with us? | Okay. |
Homer, we're in a bit of a pickle. Kids are crazy about tobacco, but the politicians won't let us sell it to them. | Those dirty rotten... |
Homer, we're in a bit of a pickle. Kids are crazy about tobacco, but the politicians won't let us sell it to them. | I wish I could make a difference, Lisa, but I'm just one man. |
... million dollars. | One hundred and... May I speak to my family for a moment? |
Shouldn't we be talking about the hundred and fifty million dollar offer? | Oh, yeah. Let's take it. |
You're about to launch a terrible evil on the world. You've gotta destroy this plant. | I know, honey. But what can I do, as an individual? I wouldn't know where to begin. |
Just burn that plant right now and end this madness. | I agree, but how? |
Now you can't tell me nicotine's not addictive. | Lisa, there's absolutely no evidence this is... |
Give them the plant, Homer! | No, I'd rather die! |
Give them the plant, Homer! | Take it! |
Well! What a lovely gift. Gotta run! | So, Mindy? How did you want to pay me the hundred and fifty million? |
Well! What a lovely gift. Gotta run! | Cash'll be okay! Or stock? Does your company have stock? |
Well! What a lovely gift. Gotta run! | Mindy? |
Well! What a lovely gift. Gotta run! | Mindy and I are just hammering out a payment plan. We'll talk Monday! |
I've never been so glad to be home. | I don't know why we ever left in the first place. |
I don't mind if I do. | Hey, are we duellin' or what? |
You okay, Dad? | I think so. The bone stopped the bullet. |
Dad, this might be one of those things you should go to the hospital for. | After pie. |
Num num, Maggie. Num num. | Did somebody say num num? |
I can't get Maggie to eat. Maybe if you try... | Oh, I'm twenty-six hours late for work. No time for Maggie. |
I can't get Maggie to eat. Maybe if you try... | Oooh, where's Waldo? |
I can't get Maggie to eat. Maybe if you try... | Nope. Nope. This would be a lot easier without all these people. Nope. Nope. It's there-- Uh, nope. |
Homer! | Waldo, where are you?! |
Hey! How'd you like a "Details" magazine up the wazoo? | Oh sure. Single me out. |
All right, smart guy. Where's the fire? | Over there. |
Turn around, Simpson. | No! I can't get in trouble if I can't see you. |
I'm afraid he's got us, sir. | Safe in the core. And now... |
I knew I had those installed for a reason. | This is the worst day ever. |
Hey Homer, what gives? | Mr. Burns is making me eat all these drums of toxic waste. |
Hey, you wanna come bowling with us tonight? | Okay. |
Oh no, not Lenny. Not Lenny! | Yeah, so I'm going to have to work late, instead of seeing you and the kids, which is what I really want. |
Poo. Uh, Homer, what wacky name do you want? | Are poo and ass taken? |
Yeah. | Damn! Could my life get any worse?! |
Simpson! Even for a bowler, you're fat! | Hey, guys. Is it normal to see Burns' face on a bowling ball? |
Uhh, actually, I'd say you're having a severe psychotic episode. | What a rotten day! |
Hey, Homer. That's four strikes in a row. You got a perfect game going! | Really? |
Ah, this split you sold me is making me choke. | Lenny... |
Ow! | Practice ball! Practice ball! |
Ow! | Real real real real real! |
Ow! | Woo hoo! |
Ho-mer! Ho-mer! Ho-mer! | Ow! |
Ho-mer! Ho-mer! Ho-mer! | Woo hoo! I'm ten pins away from perfection. |
Now listen, your father really needs to concentrate. So we'll just stay here and not disturb him. | Why won't they come over? I'm so lonely. |
Int. bowling alley - continuous - slow motion) | Get down, get down, get down! |
You did it, Homie! | In your face, to-do list! |
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