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You always liked my pork chops. | Marge, I'm sorry, but your cooking's only got two moves: "Shake" and "Bake." |
You like Shake and Bake. You used to put it in your coffee. | People change, Marge. My palate has grown more sophisticated. |
Oh, yeah? What's a palate? | Oh... it's a special time in a boy's life when... Gotta go! |
Oh, yeah? What's a palate? | So come to The Legless Frog... if you want to get sick and die, and leave a big, garlicky corpse. P.S. Parking was ample. |
Dad, you're being cruel for no reason -- what will people think? | People will think what I tell them to think when you tell me what to tell them to think! |
Not anymore. I don't wanna be partners with a man who feels like that. | Nobody talks to me that way! I'm Homer Simpson! The most powerful food critic in town, who will never get his comeuppance! You hear me? No comeuppance! We'll be right back. |
Ruff! | "Rough!" Ah, I don't know. You've been pitching that all night. |
Chewy? | "Chewy!" That's inspired. |
Homer, what gives with this review? You say the salad tastes like "bark", the potatoes were very . This reads like it was written by a dog. | Are you crazy? A dog can't type. Unfortunately. |
Listen, you gotta shape up. Next week is the "Taste of Springfield" festival, and you'll be reviewing every restaurant in town. Remember, people have certain expectations about the Lifeways section. | Really? Like what? |
Homie, my women's intuition's acting up. Something bad's going to happen if you go in there. | Oh, Marge, something bad usually happens to me when I go in anywhere. |
Homie, my women's intuition's acting up. Something bad's going to happen if you go in there. | A bat! Now that's a new one. |
Homie, my women's intuition's acting up. Something bad's going to happen if you go in there. | So what are you up to, young lady? |
I'm reviewing the festival for our school paper. | Oh. Well, I'm glad to see my ex-partner is doing so well without me. |
I'm reviewing the festival for our school paper. | Pedestrian. |
I'm reviewing the festival for our school paper. | Uninspired. |
I'm reviewing the festival for our school paper. | I didn't say stop! |
We can find him faster by splitting up. You take fried foods. You take salty snacks. I'll take desserts. Break! | Oh, So full... Bellybutton moving from innie to outie... |
A rude Frenchman? Well, I never! | Ooh, sweet. |
It's gonna kill you! | Eh, I've had a good run. |
Don't! Uh... um... It's low-fat! | Noooo! |
Oh, he likes eggs. | Oh, Lisa... you saved me! And after all the bad things I said about you. |
What bad things? Why? | Oh, Lisa, the important thing is, I didn't get my comeuppance, and I never will. |
Uh, Dad? | I know, honey. The important thing is -- run! |
Uh, Dad? | Finally getting my comeuppance. |
I still can't believe we escaped from those horrible vampires. | But it was worth it to get back our super Sugar Crisp cereal. |
I still can't believe we escaped from those horrible vampires. | "Can't get enough of that Sugar Crisp..." |
I'm having a hard time seeing. Homer, did you remember to put the fog lights in? | "Guess I forgot to put the fog lights in..." |
Ned Flanders! | He's dead! |
Ned Flanders! | He's definitely dead! |
They'll never believe a Simpson killed a Flanders by accident. Even I have my doubts. | Don't worry. I've got a plan. Okay, Ned, the first thing we have to do is... |
They'll never believe a Simpson killed a Flanders by accident. Even I have my doubts. | To make sure that no one knows that you're dead. And if anyone asks... you're not dead. |
Neddy? Where have you been? | Hi, Maude. Diddily. I've been having fun with my pal Homer. Diddily. |
Oh, I'm so relieved. Whenever you go on one of your late night fog walks, I get so worried. | Relax, I'm fine. But when I do die, I don't want any autopsies. |
Well, come on down, you goofy roofy. | Wow, it sure is slippery up here. |
My pies are done! | Aww, she missed it. |
... And now Ned's best friend will say a few words. Homer? | When I think about Ned, I can't help but remember the look on his face when Marge drove over... |
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! | Oh, wait... What I'd like to say is, we're still looking for the real killers. Anyway, in conclusion, a man cannot be forced to testify against his wife. |
Stop winking. | We'll miss you, buddy. |
No more murders. | But you got to kill... |
Who could be calling at this hour? | Y'ello? |
I know you're alone. | Who is this? |
Is this Maude Flanders? | No, it's Homer. |
You can't kill the undead, silly. | He's undead, all right. |
Yeah... | Hey, Foamy, I want the news, not the weather. Marge, did you hear me zing Werewolf Flanders? |
Remember, you're vulnerable to Kryptonite! | Geez, Marge, tell the neighborhood. |
Hey, Homer. Weren't you the plant's Y2K Compliance Officer? | Absolutely. |
It musta been hard debugging all those computers, huh Homer? | Doin' what now? |
You did fix them, right Dad? Because even a single faulty unit could corrupt every other computer in the world. | That can't be true, honey. If it were, I'd be terrified. |
Oh, no. It's happening. | Uh-oh. |
There goes the clothesline. | Well, those ivory tower eggheads have screwed us again. Let's just have some milk and go to bed... |
There goes the clothesline. | Hey, this milk's broken. |
It's got a computer chip in it. Everything does. | Stop! Ow! |
They're looting the mall. Hurry! I got nine shoe buffers! | I'm caught on something! |
I don't want you looting! | But I was gonna loot you a present! |
Well, look at the wonders of the computer age now. | Wonders, Lisa? Or blunders? |
I think that was implied by what I said. | Implied, Lisa? Or implode? |
They're evacuating the Earth! We're saved! | Thank you, sweet clown. |
They're evacuating the Earth! We're saved! | In death you saved us all. |
I'm not dead! | I can still hear his voice on the wind. |
There it is! | Just like the dead clown promised. |
They must be starting a new civilization on Mars with our best and brightest. | That's us! |
Name please. | Certainly. I am... the, ah, piano genius from the movie "Shine." |
Uh-huh. And your name is? | Uh... Shiny McShine? |
Love ya lots! | Good-bye Lisa, remember me as I am... filled with murderous rage. |
Hey, look, another spaceship! | And there's nobody guarding it. Let's go! |
Are you still talking about the Earth? | You're right. I gotta let it go. All that counts is we're alive and rubbing elbows with the greats. |
Are you still talking about the Earth? | Ooh, there's Ross Perot, Dr. Laura, Spike Lee... |
Wait a minute. They're not so great. | Okay, but there's... Dan Quayle and Courtney Love... Tanya Harding... Al Sharpton...? |
Wait a minute. They're not so great. | Tom Arnold?! What the hell's going on?! |
Yeah, ain't that a kick in the teeth? I mean, my shows weren't great, but I never tied people up and forced 'em to watch. And I could've. 'Cause I'm a big guy. And I'm good with knots. | So we're all gonna die? |
'Fraid so. But hey, the grub's pretty good, huh? | The sun? That's the hottest place on Earth! |
Hey, turn those frowns around! | Oh no, Rosie O'Donnell. |
Hey, turn those frowns around! | Ooo, you don't want to get Zorro mad. |
Don't worry, Dad. We'll be dead in five minutes. | Not fast enough! |
Do they really think cheapening the memory of our veterans will sell soda? | I have to go to ze lobby! |
I'm sorry, but we're not supposed to put butter on the Milk Duds. | You're not supposed to go to the bathroom without washing your hands, either. |
Touché. | To the top please. |
Touché. | Swim, my pretties. |
Your honor has been insulted! This will not stand. | Sh-sh-shh! |
Are you crazy, dude? | I challenge you to a duel. |
The dude is crazy! | Will you duel, or are you a coward?! |
My hero! | Uh, uh. "H" is for Homer. |
Yeah, thanks. It's just past the end of the bar, next to the heavyset guy. | Heavyset? What's that supposed to mean? |
All right, take it easy. Take it easy. I'm just saying you ain't no, uh, Tommy Tune. | No Tommy Tune, eh? Oh, that's it. You insulted my honor. |
I-- Your what now? | I demand satisfaction! I challenge you to a duel. |
Yeah, I ain't never been slapped with no duelin' glove before, either. | Wow, a free beer! And I owe it all to a little glove slap. GLOVE SLAP... |
Yeah, I ain't never been slapped with no duelin' glove before, either. | BABY, GLOVE SLAP... |
Suh, your challenge is accepted. | Huh? |
You'll need a will and headstone, aisle six. | Aisle six? |
Yeah, he's probably just a big blowhard like you. | Sir, that is an insult! I challenge you... What? |
Yeah, he's probably just a big blowhard like you. | Oh. |
Yeah, he's probably just a big blowhard like you. | Oh, honey, I had the worst nightmare. This glove kept slapping people and I was getting blamed. |
Oh, no! | He's out there, isn't he? |
Why don't you have the colonel's wife save you? | Oh Marge, that's in the past. Just let it go. |
Looks like you were saved by a Christmas tree. | And somebody wanted to get rid of it in April. |
Oooh, yes indeedy, Homer. Looks like they're settling in for a long stay. | I was afraid of that. Well, goodbye, my gentle neighbor. You know, I've always wanted to tell you how mu... |
To continue talking, please deposit ten cents. | Ah, screw it. |
Where are we gonna live? | Ooh! How 'bout that house? |
That has people living in it. You can see them through the windows. | Lousy show-offs. |
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