text stringlengths 31 99 | humor bool 2
classes |
|---|---|
Trump is a godsend as in 1000 b.c. plague | true |
Two new york veteran italian restaurants are better than ever | false |
What do you call two identical boobs? identitties. | true |
I'm at the age where an all-nighter means i didn't have to get up to pee | true |
What does a bad salesman and a toilet have in common? they are both full of crap. | true |
My phone died... there won't be any service. | true |
Siri, assemble a list of people who are dead to me. | true |
How could the sinking of the titanic have been prevented? | false |
My interventions would be so much more effective if every single reason i drink wasn't there | true |
You think you have it rough? i'm playing hangman with a 6yo who can't spell. | true |
Dog plays dead so he can stay at the park longer | false |
Aziz ansari gets variety's power of comedy award | false |
Five surprising things this divorced mom learned after becoming a stepmom | false |
'downton abbey' cast looks very different on the red carpet (photos) | false |
This new website allows you to rate everything... and everyone | false |
Seth meyers is in a tizzy over donald trump's team turmoil | false |
Feds scrap grand vision to expand marine sanctuary in hawaii | false |
Beijing police arrest couple who filmed uniqlo sex tape | false |
Man attempting to sexually assault 2 women gets stabbed: cops | false |
How to teach your children basic money management skills | false |
Drake, beyoncé and rihanna lead 2016 bet awards nominations | false |
Ending summer learning loss: can it be the key to true education reform? | false |
What do you call a german virgin? guttentight. | true |
An englishman walks into a pole... he tells him, get the fuck out of my country | true |
Why shouldn't you drink at a math party? because you shouldn't drink and derive. | true |
What do you call the act of lying about penis size? a phallacy | true |
Judging by my handwriting possible future career choices include doctor or kindergartner. | true |
If poly means many and ticks are blood sucking parasites, then politics must mean... | true |
How does a fallopian tube take its eggs? (ovaries z) | true |
In puerto rico, lives depend on volunteer doctors and diesel generators | false |
Rob portman: obama will face 'lawsuits' if he acts alone on immigration | false |
Amy schumer tackles gun control on 'snl' with mock psa | false |
Adam hayward shoves bryan cox: buccaneers linebacker pushes assistant coach (video) | false |
Night fears in children explained: fearful kids can't separate fantasy from reality | false |
National ice cream sandwich day offers delicious inspiration for wedding desserts (photos) | false |
What do you call a alligator in a vest? investigator. | true |
New york fracking opponents, binghamton mayor escalate efforts to block natural gas industry | false |
If you're not buying kraft mac and cheese you might be buying an impasta. | true |
I've done a lot of volunteer work for unwed mothers. just helping them get their start. | true |
Who me? oh i'm just waiting for my husband to apologize for something i did wrong...marriage is fun | true |
Nick jonas wants to find forever homes for these adorable rescue puppies | false |
Good friends are just like snowballs. they go away if you pee on them. | true |
I have as much authority as the pope, i just don't have as many people who believe it. | true |
I burnt my hawaiian pizza last night. i should have used aloha setting. | true |
What do you call a happy cowboy? a jolly rancher. | true |
Report: uber board accept holder's recommendations, discuss ceo kalanick's absence | false |
Kanye west to receive video vanguard award at 2015 mtv vmas | false |
Grammys hair & makeup was all about the sex appeal | false |
Trump administration to propose 'dramatic reductions' in foreign aid | false |
What comes in hard, comes out soft, and what do you blow hard? chewing gum, you sicko... | true |
Wnba fines players for wearing shirts to honor recent shooting victims | false |
States expanded gun rights after sandy hook massacre | false |
The sweet thing this mall santa did for a toddler with epilepsy | false |
What did one dog say to the other when he wanted a marker? pass the shar pei, please. | true |
Make love, not war 1) in the 60s, they made love, not war. i'm married. i make both. | true |
Nyfw day 2 was all about the shoes on instagram | false |
Quentin tarantino -- he's worried about becoming out of touch | false |
Slow cooker recipes: 20 warming soups for a frosty day | false |
Did you hear? lament's gettin' a ph.d. what does ph.d. stand for? in his case pin-headed dope. | true |
How to dine out like a health pro | false |
I wish my race was bred fast and strong... oh wait, no i dont. | true |
You haven't truly won an argument until the other person says whatever. | true |
What's black and doesn't work in an office? decaf coffee! | true |
How do you have a party in space? you planet! | true |
If i had a quarter for every woman i made love to id have 45 cents. | true |
Why can't john complete a workout? he tried, but it didn't work out. | true |
What's faster than a speeding bullet? a jew with a coupon | true |
What's the difference between a bug and an insect? judging by table 5's reactions, not a lot. | true |
Why didn't hitler become an artist? because he hated mixing colors... | true |
The pipes that my plumber installed are leaking... clearly, he didn't give a flux. | true |
This barber wants to inspire a social movement by giving free haircuts to the homeless | false |
Uncle sophia wants to remind you that cooking spray does *not* double as lube in a pinch. | true |
A riddle: where did the apple go when it's parents died? answer: to a bananas foster home. | true |
Fat heart: a visual reminder of why fat isn't a bad word (photo) | false |
The dog ate my vote: how congress explains its absences | false |
What kind of bee can keep an aeroplane dry ? an aero-drone ! | true |
We all will get this tired of these jokes | true |
5 ways the midterms will shape the clean energy and climate future | false |
What is a horses number 1 priority when voting? a stable economy | true |
Q: what did the football say to the football player? a: i get a kick out of you. | true |
The roots aim to expand music festival following record-breaking ticket sales | false |
Seth meyers listens in to the taunting voice inside donald trump's head | false |
Welcome to the sexual innuendo club thank you all for coming | true |
Police say uzbek suspect in swedish truck attack had expressed sympathy for islamic state | false |
The new parenting style that might be more than a fad | false |
I respect older people because they made it through school without google or wikipedia. | true |
Oil tanker explosion kills 146 people in pakistan | false |
Why are some musicians so antisocial? because all they want is tonics and dominance. | true |
2012 wedding trends: would you dare to try them? | false |
First woman to accuse nassar says church can be one of 'worst places' to go for help | false |
It's really only a matter of time before lady gaga gets justin beiber pregnant. | true |
Q: why did the man put cheese on his computer? a: he wanted to feed the mouse. | true |
Family says child with dairy allergy died after school gave him grilled cheese | false |
Me: i'm so lonely. microscopic organism: wow, i'm right here. | true |
Michelle duggar opens up about teenage struggle with bulimia | false |
They should make a weed strain called wmd except it turns out it doesnt exist | true |
Heidi klum shows her fashion prowess on the red carpet (photos) | false |
I really didn't like dick at first... then it grew on me. | true |
Man lived alongside dead father's body for four months | false |
Diy nail art: christmas gift boxes manicure (photos) | false |
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