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stringlengths 31
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| humor
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|---|---|
How do you get a jew out of his car? tell him it runs on gas
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This unicorn sitting next to me is saying that i drank too much
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If you punch a hippie, and a cop arrests you... would you get arrested for disturbing the peace?
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You know what else is crazy? *googles synonyms for crazy*
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When people post the punchline in the title you know what i hate?
| true
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Ted cruz: federal reserve is being run by philosopher kings
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Some teenagers recreated martin shkreli's crazy-expensive drug for $20
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Mike pence once thought a $7.25 minimum wage was too high
| false
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Man allegedly lights stranger on fire at denny's
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Senators introduce bill to help prevent another united flight fiasco
| false
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I'd like to say that all quilts are great... ...but i try to avoid making blanket statements.
| true
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What did the sophisticated cow say in response to another cow's joke? that was very amoosing
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What's the easiest way to come out of the closet? 1. open door 2. walk out
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I was going to buy tickets to see michael mcdonald in concert... ...but i keep forgetting
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What stops political campaigns from forging signatures? not much.
| false
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Monica lewinsky: 'the shame sticks to you like tar'
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A surprising genetic risk factor for type 2 diabetes is discovered
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What do you call two lesbians in a cupboard? a liquor cabinet.
| true
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What sound does a baroque chicken make? bach bach bach bach
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Here's what people are talking about in america right now
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Chuck norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
| true
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A man invested in a weight loss diet from britain he lost 10,000 pounds! but it didn't work
| true
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Dear lord thank you for these noodles i'm about to eat, ramen
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Diaper world record attempt: 2nd annual great cloth diaper change
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Friday talking points -- gop begins to freak out over trump
| false
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How do you know you're at a gay picnic? the hotdogs taste like shit.
| true
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Rio 2016: u.s.'s brenda martinez makes it to semifinals after finishing 3rd in 1,500m
| false
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I took my orchestra onto a train one day the conductor was rubbish
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Where were you when tater tots turned 60?
| false
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The kodak film company filed for bankruptcy.. more details to come as the story develops
| true
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I just bought a new weed whacker. it's cutting-hedge technology.
| true
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A response to the washington post's i'm an army veteran, and my benefits are too generous
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Hillary clinton sent her book to every gop candidate...except one
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What do you call a homosexual in iran after he's been outed? low hanging fruit.
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Conflict and late rains drive thousands from their homes in somalia
| false
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Top intel dem: devin nunes ‘requiring sign off’ on russia probe subpoenas
| false
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Why was the clownfish sad? because its friends were anemones.
| true
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Engagement féminin: women, education and contemporary dance in west africa
| false
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Did you hear the weather forecast for the hiphop festival? ...they're calling for a lil wayne
| true
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We weren't living in a fool's paradise. america has changed.
| false
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Men spend more time smelling their clothes than they do cleaning them.
| true
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The coal industry... ... has come under fire lately.
| true
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New course leads to big gains in number of girls, minorities taking ap computer science exams
| false
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If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as i set it.
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I have orange skin, a lot of green and dislike mexicans. who am i? a orange tree.
| true
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A man walks into a bar, he says ouch.
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9 rules for naked dining: the etiquette of nude resorts
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Purchased an hourglass for my desk at work to flip when people stop by to make them uncomfortable.
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What's it called when a smart girl jerks you off? a stroke of genius!
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Shout out to little yappy dogs. literally everything you bark at could eat you.
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*rubs magic lamp*rubs harder and faster*genie semen sprays everywhere*
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Natasha hill, mom-to-be, wins $5,000 in exchange for letting the internet name her baby
| false
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Girl scouts portray iconic women to celebrate women's history month
| false
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Why are women so vicious toward one another?
| false
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New york is a difficult place to live, but new yorkers make it easier
| false
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George and amal cloney are a vision in nyc
| false
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Rare footage of jackie kennedy at home, from 1957 talk show (video)
| false
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New 'true detective' season 2 photos look intense
| false
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Why do turds taper off at the end? so your asshole doesn't slam shut
| true
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Equality a woman's work is never done, that's why they earn less.
| true
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Why do the scottish wear kilts? because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
| true
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Kid knows exactly what to wear to do yard work
| false
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Donald trump's sacking of james comey is a test for republicans
| false
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The down jackets that won't make you look huge
| false
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Weekend roundup: one year on, the worldpost has 28 million monthly views
| false
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What do you call a jamaican that wears glasses? rasta-four-eyes!
| true
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Try not to cry at this surprise military reunion on 'the ellen degeneres show'
| false
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Dad defends son's cruella halloween costume from 'small-minded' bigots
| false
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The healthy recipes you need to get back on track
| false
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How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? a fish
| true
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There was a birthday party at the homeless shelter it also had a poor punch line.
| true
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Hydraulic press crusher celebrates youtube award in only way he knows how
| false
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Chuck norris lost his virginity before his dad.
| true
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Q: what kind of fish has two knees? a: a tunee fish.
| true
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Why did billy joel get acquitted? because he didn't start the fire.
| true
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Why are there no feminists in japan? because the japanese hunt whales.
| true
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In an award show that was so much about politics, donald trump barely came up
| false
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Kendall jenner gives us a sneak peek of balmain x h&m at the 2015 billboard music awards
| false
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I was going to tell a joke about rihanna and chris brown but i can't remember the punchline
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The election is over and we all lost
| false
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How do you spot a blind man at a nudist beach? it's not hard..
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Gravy is not optional on thanksgiving, so make sure your recipe rules
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I used to be really into nostalgia... ...those were good times.
| true
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8 skymall sculptures that bring the world to you (photos)
| false
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When you fall, who's there to catch you?
| false
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Fda allows 23andme to sell genetic tests for disease risk
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I can almost always tell when a movie doesn't use real zombies.
| true
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Why couldn't the two melons get married? they can't elope.
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How does exercise make moms healthier? active moms have longer stem cells
| false
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Feeling g.o.p. peril, muslims try to get out vote
| false
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Why my toaster loves my car: are you ready for the internet of things?
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Ten tips to get rid of sun damage
| false
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Mark twain gave good advice about the dangers of good advice
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Libraries offer children resources not available at home
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*answers a bagel like a phone* i'm just in a meeting right now i'll call you back
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Why are michael j. fox's milkshakes the best? he uses the best ingredients stay classy ;)
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Is that a booger in your nose? no, it's snot.
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This black mormon in utah is running for president of kenya
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I'm on a whiskey diet. you should try it, i've lost 3 days already.
| true
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Floral pants and polka dot sweater: from the stylelist network
| false
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