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'I am popping my zits.' |
6. When Line Breaker says... |
ANYTHING |
He really means... |
'I am lying to cover my stupidity.' |
7. When Silver Spy says... |
'I am God at the VAX/VMS. |
He really means... |
'I work with a VAX, so I am not that impressive.' |
8. When Evil Jay says... |
'I am into Heavy Metal.' |
He really means... |
'I have no friends and bang my head in frustration.' |
9. When The Rocker says... |
'I love to party.' |
He really means... |
He watches Animal House and thinks he can party. |
10. When Mark Tabas says... |
'I have an athletic family.' |
He really means... |
'Me and my little girlfriend are running |
away from EVERYBODY. |
11. When Captain Hooke (Howie) says... |
'Hey man, I am gonna fuck up your dad's credit card on |
TRW!' |
He really means... |
'I spend too much time talking to Line Breaker.' |
12. When Captain Hooke (Howie) says... |
'I have a major social life.' |
He really means... |
'I call up the conference bridges and spend all of |
my time talking to losers.' |
13. When Dr. Who says... |
'I have done alot for the Phreak/Hack world.' |
He really means... |
'I try everything first to see if it's safe.' |
14. When Forest Ranger says... |
'Telecomputist will be an original magazine full of |
new information. |
He really means... |
'Telecomputist is written on toilet paper with |
the same quality and originality of articles' |
16. When Attila the Hun says... |
'I love to Slam Dance!' |
He really means... |
'When he's in a ballroom he steps on EVERYONE'S feet.' |
17. When Ax Murderer says... |
'Yo, I just wrote the most complete file on UNIX with |
examples.' |
He really means... |
'I rewrote a Unix manual and copied the illustrations |
too.' |
18. When Taran King says... |
'Yo, MSP is down due to Hard disk problems.' |
He really means... |
'I spilled dinner over the computer chatting with KL.' |
19. When Sinister Fog says... |
'I used to run the best bbs in the country.' |
He really means... |
'We tried to find the non-existant alogarithm for SPC.' |
20. When Oryan Quest says... |
'I am gonna bill $20000 to you Taran!' |
He really means... |
'PLEASE let me back on Metal Shop!' |
21. When The Executioner says... |
'Yes, Taran I will have your file in time for Phrack.' |
He really means... |
'I fucked up again and I'll have to get Bill to help me |
out.' |
22. When Bill From RNOC says... |
'Hey, what's up?' |
He really means... |
'I'm here to leach all your new stuff, pull your tolls |
and stab you in the back.' |
============================================================= |
ORYAN QUEST - A point by point historical recreation of this |
controversial excuse for recycled shit from |
the sewer of Mexico. |
"Juan!!!", screamed the mexican lady, "get over here, |
mucho expresso!" |
"Coming my little tortilla!!", panted the tired Mexican peasant. |
"What is it my little bag of cabbage leaves?", inquired |
the Hispanic mongrel. |
"Juan, Juan, Juan, I tink I am stricken with baby!" |
exclaimed his wife. |
"OH NO! my babaloo!, not another little child," cried |
Juan, "We cannot afford to have another child." |
"My wages picking coffee beans and stripping cabbage |
barely feed our other 12 children, how am I going to support |
THIS bastard billy-goat?", asked Juan. |
Well, the day finally came, and the poverty stricken |
couple made their way to the village hospital, by way of |
mule, a mercedes to the couple. |
"Oooooooooh....", cried the lady in pain, as the baby |
pushed it's way forward. |
"Ohhh what a beautiful child", exclaimed Juan. |
"Uh senor, that's the pre-natal discharge, your baby is |
next.", corrected the doctor. |
The baby's body began to appear(feet first, of course), |
it's WIDE vertical smile, greeting the world. |
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