start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1335759854 | 1336232507 | t3_sz9kv | t5_2to41 | 54 | Roilvn: TIFU: Nothing Like an Accidental Suicide.
So Friday night, I went out drinking. A few people from work where throwing a rap show so I went. After 3 or 4 or 5 or 9 bowls, and 1/2 to 99% of a gallon of apple pie, a beer, and half a bottle of vodka chugged. I threw up my stomach. One of my friends gave me a ride ... | 8 | 6.75 | |
1335763117 | 1335897553 | t3_szbwh | t5_2to41 | 40 | sadi89: TIFU
On Thursday (in this case TIFU stands for Thursday I Fucked Up) I was feeling low. I had lost my university card which give me access to my dorm and more importantly food. I was also low on cash. I bought a sandwich for lunch at noon and ate half of it then and saved the other half for dinner.
Dinner tim... | 6 | 6.666667 | |
1335772662 | 1348306572 | t3_szh06 | t5_2to41 | 36 | [deleted]: TIFU and lost a 75 cent promotion at work.
Yesterday I got offered the Key Carrier promotion at work (gas station) which includes a guaranteed 35 hour week and 8.50 an hour pay rate. I could have moved out of my parents house and started my own life but it required a drug test which I couldn't pass (marijuan... | 12 | 3 | |
1335801833 | 1335819306 | t3_szvwz | t5_2to41 | 17 | HeadxDMC: TIFU: I joined a sub that I thought would be funny anecdotes about FML experiences
PretendCasual: Let's be honest... This sub is awful. I thought it would be funny too but its not about fucking up its about failing
epic_comebacks: I blame the mods.
canipaybycheck: Do you have any suggestions about how to i... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1335822522 | 1335861845 | t3_t0fl7 | t5_2to41 | 143 | [deleted]: TIFU I punched someone and broke my hand.
I have this friend seems to have some kind of inferiority complex, he has a need to show dominance towards everybody else, which isn't hard considering he weighs 50 kg more than everybody else with a matching height. Well he started punching people and after I had as... | 5 | 28.6 | |
1335827020 | 1336071299 | t3_t0k2y | t5_2to41 | 31 | lacabra: TIFU and screwed up an application really important to my girlfriend.
Today my girlfriend asked me to edit her application essay for a major business case competition. I edited it but in the essay included a comment about her being diagnosed with irritable bowel syndrome (which she wasn't; I was just being imm... | 4 | 7.75 | |
1335835347 | 1336617479 | t3_t0s09 | t5_2to41 | -7 | MikeOxbigg: TIFU: I killed a rabbit with poor marksmanship.
My uncle out in Fayetteville, Arkansas invited me to go deer hunting with him pretty soon and so today I thought I would mentally prepare myself, having never killed an animal intentionally before. I loaded up with my holster and CO2 powered BB pistol, and too... | 7 | -1 | |
1335862911 | 1649339847 | t3_t1ax1 | t5_2to41 | 69 | Meme666: TIFU: I ate black mold
I was eating some cinnamon raisin toast when I ate a funny tasting raisin. I didnt think much of it until a few hours later when I looked at the package. Turns out that it was just plain cinnamon toast and I wasn't wearing my glasses to tell the difference between a raisin and a huge spo... | 6 | 11.5 | |
1335883640 | 1335895105 | t3_t1jbn | t5_2to41 | 191 | [deleted]: TIFU while running from a spider
Walked into bathroom and was about to sit down on the toilet when my eyes adjusted and a huge freaking spider came into focus hanging from a web right in front of me, inches from my face. I did a spaz dance running out of the bathroom and smacked my knee on the corner of the ... | 4 | 47.75 | |
1335930581 | 1335932738 | t3_t2qnh | t5_2to41 | 10 | ejtheman123: My brain decided to replace race with species.
Muthafuxajones: I've done the same shit. I do it on purpose though. most of the black kids at my school never take an argument anywhere anyways. I like to take that advantage to be an asshole
[deleted]: I go to a basically brand new school. So all the failing... | 5 | 2 | |
1335933810 | 1336096246 | t3_t2t9m | t5_2to41 | 124 | ejtheman123: TIFU- My brain decided to go racist.
I was in American History class. My class is mainly black kids, and I am Hispanic.
Everyone was talking in class and pissing me off before i gave my speech/presentation on a project i did. It some how ended up in a racial debate. A Black kid said "Why are most blacks th... | 11 | 11.272727 | |
1335973384 | 1344910335 | t3_t3ei9 | t5_2to41 | 667 | Megan_Bee: TIFU- sent a picture of my boobs to the wrong person.
I was messing around with the webcam on my new laptop for the first time and I thought it would be cute/funny to take a picture of my boobs and send it to my boyfriend as a test picture. So I took the picture and sent him a facebook message with the capti... | 20 | 33.35 | |
1335973781 | 1335988744 | t3_t3evq | t5_2to41 | 5 | Culumon: TIFU:Hurt a girl unintenionaly because of brain-blank(xpost from r/askreddit)
I am sorry for posting it under TIFU because it technically happened yestarday
Soo I am sorry in advance for wall of text and in case this is the wrong subreddt I am sorry too. I just dont know what to do. I fucked up big time and ha... | 6 | 0.833333 | |
1335750358 | 1335993144 | t3_sz1h5 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU - I got food delivered, and forgot I ordered a drink, I walked away without said drink
To be fair, it did take 2 hours for them to deliver the food
A_Bandit_Chief: Was it worth the wait? If it takes more then 60 minutes to get my food, I'm out.
[deleted]: not really. I'm never ordering from that place a... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1335994004 | 1336488947 | t3_t3yc7 | t5_2to41 | 25 | p53angel: tifu: I got evicted.
So, this isn't half as dramatic as some of these posts, but it really feels awful to me, especially since this is only the second apartment I've leased.
So I have a dog, I've had her since I was ten, and I'm now in college, so she's older. I worry about her so much b/c she means the wo... | 5 | 5 | |
1335993648 | 1336067108 | t3_t3xzk | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU: My soup killed my laptop.
About 15-20 minutes ago, I decided I was hungry. I went to the kitchen (with my laptop; I was reading an article) and grabbed a can of soup that had one of those pull tab thingies. When trying to open the can, I broke the tab off. So for about five minutes I hacked at the can ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1336025554 | 1337893427 | t3_t4pw3 | t5_2to41 | 121 | QuantumScience: TIFU - I lost my fapsock
I fapped after a week long vacation, so I ejaculated like 3x the amount than normal. Used my month old fapsock that I have been hiding under my bed. The next day I wanted to use it, but it's nowhere to be found!
Only to find it my dirty laundry, still moist, with a horrendous s... | 8 | 15.125 | |
1336059955 | 1336082050 | t3_t582j | t5_2to41 | 286 | Jimbosilky: TIFU: I started a new Pokemon game a week before my exams.
Revision? Ha.
DSpire: which game and what's your team?
Jimbosilky: Thought I'd give Pokemon White a go!
(to those interested)
Lampent
Lilligant
Siesmitoad(sp?)
Archeops
Duosion
Elektrik
All around level 40 :)
Must say though.. They are seriously run... | 10 | 28.6 | |
1336030132 | 1336163727 | t3_t4s8f | t5_2to41 | 41 | fuckupALLthechoices: TIFU... Moved into a new place with two female friends. Proceeded to go out on the town, and hook up with of them. Apparently she has a BF, and he apparently lives in her room with her.
I'm a dude. Moved out of my place. My female friend says she has a room open in her house, and she lives with one... | 3 | 13.666667 | |
1336086334 | 1336167579 | t3_t5wd4 | t5_2to41 | 20 | MrCassowary: TIFU: Old man turns out to be boyfriend, not dad...
I work as a bartender on a cruise ship. A young woman started talking to me and I asked who she was there with, to which she points between a young guy and an older man (maybe late 50s) and says "My boyfriend". She walks up to the bar again later with the... | 6 | 3.333333 | |
1336081926 | 1336529863 | t3_t5sav | t5_2to41 | 63 | [deleted]: TIFU: I threw a dart at my teachers head
So I was in a free period (because our class finished maths early), and I got bored and decided to make a paper dart (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pT4Vax8Gz4s). I messed around with it a bit and then one of my friends asked to play with it, so I took aim and tried t... | 3 | 21 | |
1336130566 | 1336254586 | t3_t6lwu | t5_2to41 | 4 | SalemWolf: Sounded like you quit. The way you worded it was misleading, and though I opt out of standing by my original point (and admit I was wrong), I agree with commandx that you are the master of your own demise. So, yeah, you fucked up...but it's your own fault.
Verikman2: You (and your ilk) are the reason that pe... | 5 | 0.8 | |
1336150530 | 1336194125 | t3_t72hg | t5_2to41 | 854 | graziano8852: TIFU: I had anal sex with a girl who turned out to be my cousin NSFW
I was at the local fair by my house when my friend introduced me to some chick will just call her Amy. We really hit it off and hung out everyday for a week straight. We had a ton of the same interest and our senses of humor were very s... | 9 | 94.888889 | |
1336166201 | 1336326880 | t3_t7gcf | t5_2to41 | 46 | ragefrox: tifu, now most of my workplace knows I'm sleeping with my boss' boss. And how I am in bed.
So, I've had a bit of an arrangement with one of the higher ups from my company for a while now. Basically a back up plan if neither of us gets lucky on a Saturday night kind of thing. There had been some rumors going a... | 4 | 11.5 | |
1336225893 | 1336276192 | t3_t8blm | t5_2to41 | 20 | LevelUpLeo: TIFU; got to work late because I missed two buses and deleted an e-mail from a boss
So I was asked to work this morning. Normally I walk to work, but last night I got some Chinese food and wated to bring the leftovers to work for lunch, so opted to take the bus.
So I look up the time that the bus closest b... | 5 | 4 | |
1336290114 | 1336419375 | t3_t9gy4 | t5_2to41 | 223 | [deleted]: TIFU: Was showing my car to a potential buyer only to find a surprise under the hood.
Met up with a guy to show him my 3000gt a few days ago, things were going great. He showed up in a 600hp hemi charger so I knew he had the money based on how he looked/dressed, plus he told me. Popped the hood for him to st... | 5 | 44.6 | |
1336316714 | 1336317748 | t3_t9qd3 | t5_2to41 | 24 | spookycookies: TIFU: I've been pronouncing "Imgur" wrong for a year and was finally called out on it...
[deleted]: Well, I pronounce it that way too. Don't leave us hanging, what's the legit pronounciation?
spookycookies: allegedly it is IHM-JUR as in "image"
[deleted]: That... makes a ton of sense. Son of a TIL.
spo... | 5 | 4.8 | |
1336343078 | 1336464292 | t3_ta9lw | t5_2to41 | 158 | l0l_cabbage: TIFU:My mom found out my thumbnail folder[Android]. There were some porn ones.
I told my mom that I don't know why the hell there are they and she believed me. I'm gonna delete this folder now.
[deleted]: What are you, 12?
[deleted]: 13.
gvnk: If my son was't looking at porn at age 13, I would be worried.
... | 8 | 19.75 | |
1336365843 | 1336393478 | t3_taq0l | t5_2to41 | 12 | Crazium: Today I accidentally grabbed my old spice bottle instead of my soda. I fucking sprayed it in my mouth...
kinda_alone: Haha this is gold but it breaks rule one. Please repost it, having it start with TIFU. Thank you.
Crazium: God damn it. Mods can't fix it?
rya11111: nope .. you have to repost.
| 4 | 3 | |
1336428395 | 1337380344 | t3_tbuxn | t5_2to41 | 57 | T3HK4T: TIFU: Slammed Car Door on Leg, Fell on GF, Late for Movie, Broke Leg.
I was supposed to meet my Girlfriend at her house at 7PM, to watch a movie. Knowing her, she hates when ANYBODY is late, so I watch tv, checking the time pretty much every time i remember...
Its about a 20 minute drive to her house, So i pla... | 6 | 9.5 | |
1336449731 | 1336531670 | t3_tcenh | t5_2to41 | 225 | [deleted]: TIFU. I rubbed toothpaste all over my pubes while half asleep in the shower.
...Let me explain.
I woke up early for work today, and started to get ready before I remembered I hadn't taken a shower last night like I usually do because I was too lazy. So, still not fully awake, I stumbled into the bathroom. ... | 7 | 32.142857 | |
1336452663 | 1336600925 | t3_tcgwb | t5_2to41 | 66 | Bear_in_your_attic: TIFU: Girl hints me towards sex, ended with me making joke about George Bush.
She was talking about having sex with me since 7th grade, tonight was the night she asked and i accepted but she later said no because i made to many jokes about George Bush.
mash3735: context?
Bear_in_your_attic: Ive been... | 9 | 7.333333 | |
1337313915 | 1337799760 | t3_tcpmq | t5_2to41 | 4 | SlutBuster: Conservative estimates put accidental firearm deaths in the US around 600 per year (not counting children who discharge firearms, because I don't have any children).
Conservative estimates by the US DOJ put the number of crimes prevented by firearms at around 55,000 per year.
Just thought I'd share the st... | 5 | 0.8 | |
1336500681 | 1336631006 | t3_td9x0 | t5_2to41 | 96 | xyz66: TIFU: I was wandering the house in the dark at 2am and stubbed my toe so bad that the toe nail came off completely.
And to make shit worse, I made a bloody mess when trying to find a band aid.
monkette: gotta picture?
xyz66: No, I was too busy wrapping it in bandages to stop the bleeding, and the thought of exp... | 9 | 10.666667 | |
1336513017 | 1336703293 | t3_tdlbb | t5_2to41 | 7 | Cutt3rs: TIFU by having a friend over.
I'm not *supposed* to have friends over when my dad's at work (I *am* allowed to have them on my driveway), but we had gone inside because the bugs were attacking us. We were inside for like, 10 minutes. I guess I missed the part where my friend used the bathroom, because when my... | 5 | 1.4 | |
1336523903 | 1336570814 | t3_tdutp | t5_2to41 | 138 | IanTheSpah: TIFU: I deleted an entire song that I had just finished
recording.
I had the final song and the demo next to eachother in GarageBand, and somehow I managed to click on the final version and delete it while trying to delete the demo. There is no way that I can retrieve the file. I really want to punch somet... | 4 | 34.5 | |
1336169427 | 1337112198 | t3_t7j1k | t5_2to41 | 10 | zenmaru13: TIFU: Made a rookie mistake when commenting
I have been a redditor for a little over a month now, and haven't quite learned the ropes, mostly because I spent no time as a lurker. Anyway, someone was raging about how all men are pigs who only think of sex, and me, being a guy who never thinks of sex, decided... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1336544694 | 1336616473 | t3_tebuh | t5_2to41 | 136 | Justsomerandomgirl: TIFU: my boobs deleted my final paper for my political science class
I pulled an all nighter last night to finish my paper. I was naked in bed because I just got out of the shower. I was writing my paper on my iPad and I decided I wanted to smoke. My cigarettes were on the floor next to my bed so I ... | 8 | 17 | |
1336580678 | 1336602036 | t3_tevt6 | t5_2to41 | 139 | yajmah: TIFU: I burnt 35 ham hocks.
I put them in the oven to slow cook and put the temperature a bit too high, came into the kitchen the next day to 35 fucked hocks and a very pissed off boss.
Fr4t: Better than burning 35 hammocks... what I read first...
chlamydiadarling: I don't know what I'd hate to lose more, ham o... | 5 | 27.8 | |
1336467407 | 1337337753 | t3_tcoqd | t5_2to41 | 24 | onlineamiga: TIFU: Narrowly avoided a dog running out infront of the car, had to swerve a bit. Woman hits me on the other lane. Despite only a scuff to both cars, she's claiming whiplash and everything... I should have hit the dog :(
So now my insurance premiums are going to go up through the roof, as well as a 400€ ex... | 15 | 1.6 | |
1336612299 | 1336637103 | t3_tfoqs | t5_2to41 | 36 | misagrl: TIFU by deciding to enjoy nature
I decided to take a walk since it was an exceptionally nice day out and 15 minutes in, a course of events happened:
1) Scratched myself on a rosebush
2) A wasp flew by my ear; me being afraid of wasps or anything that stings along with the weird fear of insects flying by my ear... | 3 | 12 | |
1336565246 | 1336945465 | t3_tekqo | t5_2to41 | 26 | ireallylikereddit: TIFU: Made a fool of myself in lit class.
So today we were looking at this "chick lit" novel, and I'll say this now because it'll be relevant for later - I'm one of two guys in my tutorial, and I'm not gay.
Tutor (who's female) asks us guys if we felt 'excluded' by the novel, because well you know, ... | 4 | 6.5 | |
1336621956 | 1336653242 | t3_tfxd6 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: Told a classmate I f***ed his mom. He began crying, and I learned that she had passed away the night before.
rya11111: removed. please follow rule 1 and repost. Thanks :)
Thakartz: No
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1336640040 | 1336689593 | t3_tg7ts | t5_2to41 | 124 | Escapethefate888: TIFU by farting inside a sealed plastic ball, smacking my face on the side, knocking a small child off her bike and breaking my finger.
I was at a cycling event, open to all ages, and decided it would be fun to go on a ride meant for little kids, because this thing looked like some serious fun. It was... | 6 | 20.666667 | |
1336672523 | 1336744845 | t3_tgslz | t5_2to41 | 229 | CrowCrowBro: TIFU: Didn't get a job because I was napping inside the lobby while waiting.
I had a simple interview with a temporal employment agency and would have started on friday but while the lady was trying to enter my data into the system and I was forced to wait some 20 minutes at the lobby I just put my head do... | 5 | 45.8 | |
1336686201 | 1337108213 | t3_th5bn | t5_2to41 | 130 | Live_for_Now: TIFU: Was texting flirty messages to the girl I met at the gym. Turns out, I was actually texting the head of my state's police organization (PBA).
I work for the official union magazine and just got his number yesterday but didn't save the contact. Also got the number of a girl at the gym but forgot that... | 3 | 43.333333 | |
1336692472 | 1336812460 | t3_thark | t5_2to41 | 159 | ZapaBasoran: TIFU: Trusted a fart that wasn't
Liquid gas separator failed on me. Followed by the green apple quick step to the porta-john. Wipe after wipe couldn't make it clean. My eyes fell on the hand sanitizer. I soaked some paper with the sanitizer it washed my pants quite well.
Light bulb..
On a new wa... | 8 | 19.875 | |
1336724802 | 1337071022 | t3_thwvz | t5_2to41 | 104 | muchmorepinteresting: TIFU Got in trouble for extremely high internet usage at work when my job doesn't require me to me on the internet alot.
I work for a non-profit, our office has about 35 people full-time. It's a very relaxed atmosphere, and they know people go on Facebook, Twitter, etc., surf the web. They're pret... | 4 | 26 | |
1336731005 | 1336811995 | t3_thz7u | t5_2to41 | 59 | naughtgranny23: TIFU: I decided to wear pants that did not have a button. This did not end well.
Today, I decided that I was going to wear an old pair of jeans that no longer have a button. Normally, I wouldn't do this. I honestly don't even know why I still have them. However, certain circumstances arose today that... | 4 | 14.75 | |
1336758014 | 1336770260 | t3_tigl9 | t5_2to41 | 170 | [deleted]: "T"IFU: Saw a girl at a party, took half an hour of flirting for me to realize she was my friend of 2 years
I put the "T" in quotations since this didn't happen today. However, a few minutes ago I experienced one of those regremories: you know, when you remember something stupid you did in the past that just... | 6 | 28.333333 | |
1336757938 | 1336803058 | t3_tigja | t5_2to41 | 220 | binkyTHESINKrobinson: TIFU: I turned on the shower, took a piss, opened up a new bar of soap, proceeded to throw the wrapper into the shower and then the soap in the toilet.
If I didn't stop myself there I probably would have attempted to flush the trash bin next.
ikarios: You have a trash bin but you were going to fl... | 6 | 36.666667 | |
1336797699 | 1336803297 | t3_tja82 | t5_2to41 | 57 | imawaffle: TIFU Didn't help a girl that I think was being stalked.
I'm probably gonna live with regret about this situation for a long time.
I was taking a late night walk to Kwik Trip to grab some smokes and a drink, and started heading back, and I seen this person walking on the parking lot, heading the same way. I ... | 4 | 14.25 | |
1336805992 | 1336814571 | t3_tjegd | t5_2to41 | 5 | bubbabloke: Saw a customer limping today, offered to carry his heavy item to the car, saying "Don't worry, I injured my ankle 2 days ago, I know how you feel". He responds "I had a stroke a few weeks back and can't use my left side of my body".
rya11111: removed. please follow rule 1 and repost. thank you :)
bubbabl... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1336836630 | 1336858060 | t3_tjpzg | t5_2to41 | 107 | dasding88: TIFU: gave a cigarette to a pregnant woman
I didn't notice until as I was passing it to her; alas, too late. Felt bad.
ragefrox: had this happen in an even worse way. for a solid week in high school, this girl went around bumming smokes off everyone she could get them from, including me. I found out later th... | 4 | 26.75 | |
1336838589 | 1336852754 | t3_tjr9u | t5_2to41 | 79 | [deleted]: TIFU: by drunk dialing after a perfect date
So I met this significantly older guy (I'm 21 and he's 38) online. We were texting for serval days non-stop and everything was going amazingly.
We finally met for drinks last night and I was super nervous, so I had a couple shots before I went out. Except oops! I... | 15 | 5.266667 | |
1336863778 | 1336934986 | t3_tk893 | t5_2to41 | 99 | [deleted]: TIFU: Last night i hooked up with my ex-fiance
So I broke up with my ex 3 weeks ago and we decided not to try and talk and to let some healing happen. All was going well. Then her mom called and apparently had my leather jacket. It belonged to my Grandfather and was left to me. So i met with her to get it an... | 10 | 9.9 | |
1336866561 | 1337620652 | t3_tka2r | t5_2to41 | 112 | midnightcruiser: TIFU: Tried to steal my dads car at midnight and reversed it down the hill on top of which it was parked before realising that the battery was dead. Spent the next 3 hours trying to push it back up the hill and trying to jumpstart it before eventually succeeding.
On top of this it is 35 degrees (Celsi... | 6 | 18.666667 | |
1336895807 | 1336924787 | t3_tkr1b | t5_2to41 | 3 | fuckyeahjake: TIFU by screwing myself out of my first car
The more I think about this, the more it sounds petty and juvenile, like something off of Sweet Sixteen, but it's actually one of the most frustrating things I've ever FU'd. So I'm 19. Since I was 5, I've been obsessed with cars. I could name every make driving ... | 3 | 1 | |
1336931669 | 1337199229 | t3_tl7bl | t5_2to41 | 564 | shamefullFailure: TIFU: I'm into bondage. I met a girl in a club and she agreed to be tied-up, but when she saw the rope she ran out of my place, naked, and woke up my neighbor.
Edit:
Thank you Reddit, and thanks to every one of you who supported me, as well as those who did not.
Compared to how I felt when I posted ... | 15 | 37.6 | |
1336940813 | 1337014298 | t3_tle36 | t5_2to41 | 80 | the_BIG_chief: TIFU: told my girlfriend the truth when she asked me "am I getting fat?"
My casual and retarded response: "Well babe, you aren't exactly in soccer season shape right now soooo, yeah." I have literally no idea what made me think that would work. In retrospect I suppose I could chalk it up to ignorance, in... | 4 | 20 | |
1336956117 | 1336969542 | t3_tlpf7 | t5_2to41 | 17 | Justsomerandomgirl: TMLBFU (today my little brother fucked up): made our mom cry on mother's day
halofan952: >I moved out when I was 16 because at this point I was fully self sufficient. I was making enough money to more than comfortably support myself
Now where the fuck were you working at the age of 16 to be mak... | 8 | 2.125 | |
1336960630 | 1337037604 | t3_tlszx | t5_2to41 | 127 | [deleted]: TIFU I got my mom a gift card to Lane Bryant without realizing it was a plus size clothing store.
Yeah basically that is it. In all fairness though they are subtle about it.
whyyoudolikethat: Is your mom plus size?
[deleted]: No she -is relatively average but she is always on some sort of diet and trying t... | 4 | 31.75 | |
1336992099 | 1342494602 | t3_tmaaw | t5_2to41 | 498 | iKilledMyFunny: TIFU - Had been applying for a job for 4 months now. Didn't get one single call back and today I learned that I had the wrong phone number written on my resume.
Well actually its not like I fucked up today. Its like I've been fucking up for the past 120 days but just realized it today.
MandatorilyMatuti... | 6 | 83 | |
1337019427 | 1337406546 | t3_tmser | t5_2to41 | 5 | jsfox: TIFU: I posted my address on a comment thread, instead of a PM.
I actually did this yesterday, and then went to bed and only discovered it by accident today. Thankfully, there weren't that many people on the thread, but I'm nervously awaiting... something...
NigelxD: I send you some pretty flowers, I hope you d... | 5 | 1 | |
1337037661 | 1337136315 | t3_tn93o | t5_2to41 | 220 | RacistIllithid: TIFU I was texting my girlfriend and autocorrect turned "ssdfs" (an expression of surprise) into "Sarah" (Not my girlfriends name). She thinks I cheated on her. Fuck.
No, she doesn't believe me, maybe correct title would be "Today apple fucked up".
DrTastey: How is solid state drive file system an expre... | 6 | 36.666667 | |
1337050769 | 1337133618 | t3_tnkqy | t5_2to41 | 113 | horserashish: TIFU: Spent the weekend drunk at a bachelor party, got caught masturbating.
I dont remember a thing.
teh_lyme: I... I fail to see the problem here. You're at an event that is generally all male with the exception of a few women there functioning purely as sexual stimuli. And you were drunk. Fuck 'em. No ... | 17 | 6.647059 | |
1337053196 | 1337152638 | t3_tnmr3 | t5_2to41 | 219 | Geves: TIFU almost burned the house down
That "self-cleaning" button on the oven is a liar! Apparently you need to clean the oven "before" it self-cleans itself :(
[deleted]: I'd sue
Geves: but I'm a Canadian!!
We're too polite too sue lol
[deleted]: Was hoping you'd be from the US, we don't sue in New Zealand either... | 10 | 21.9 | |
1337047692 | 1337064343 | t3_tni1e | t5_2to41 | 28 | gwallac2: TIFU: Had the chance to make $1,600 in a WEEK and all I have to do is take some bone marrow pills AND WATCH MAD MEN
its a medical study up in knoxville, i'm from atlanta... this is my 2nd trip here and i'm completely broke. I played some shows with my band over the weekend before this morning and the alcohol ... | 3 | 9.333333 | |
1337116829 | 1337375768 | t3_toud0 | t5_2to41 | 43 | br7anjc: TIFU Mixed up schedule, missed work.
Hi reddit, if this is in the wrong place, let me know. I recently started my fist paid job at a restaurant, and I've had to ask off work for four thing recently. (2 weeks at job). Today I was supposed to work and didn't realize it, and skipped. I'm not sure what they think... | 4 | 10.75 | |
1337133416 | 1337135177 | t3_tp997 | t5_2to41 | 9 | [deleted]: TIFU: I lost the person I love most in my life
I got angry at the girl I love most and used very harsh words on her in the heat of the moment. Shit escalated and now here I am by myself feeling more alone than I've ever been. I'm turning to you guys because she was the only one I could ever go to and now she... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1337133318 | 1337316798 | t3_tp96e | t5_2to41 | 250 | PaulFuqyaself: TIFU, I went to go take a poop on the train and forgot to lock the door.
I was on the train home and felt a number two coming on so I went to relieve myself. So I headed to the bathroom and went about my business. In my haste I forgot to lock the door, when I noticed it was too late, I was at the do or ... | 8 | 31.25 | |
1337132641 | 1337181248 | t3_tp8lh | t5_2to41 | 56 | murrray: TIFU: I forgot to save my Pokemon game, then my computer died.
I spent all day playing, got 5 badges, the pokeflute. Right as I was about to wake Snorlax, my computer shut down.
violencewithin: how were you playing on computer?
murrray: On an emulator.
violencewithin: where did you download the actual game?
[d... | 7 | 8 | |
1337132559 | 1337576719 | t3_tp8jh | t5_2to41 | 55 | couscouscachoo: TIFU: thought my flight for a conference was tomorrow. Was actually this morning.
Realized this afternoon that the flight I thought I had booked for tomorrow morning @11:20 am was actually for this morning @11:20 am.
Called the airline & long story short, I am on a red eye flight leaving @1:20 am.... | 4 | 13.75 | |
1337146893 | 1337713011 | t3_tpk68 | t5_2to41 | 42 | Scottzkee: TIFU, A cop things I saluted them with my beer bottle while driving. I was pulled over.
I was drinking a dads rootbeer. (wouldn't recommend it, not that good) I had it while driving and a cop pulled next to my car and was looking at me. It was in my right hand and I lifted it up as if to say "cheers". I was... | 8 | 5.25 | |
1337174614 | 1337358909 | t3_tpwhj | t5_2to41 | 82 | blobbob22: TIFU by stepping on a dead wasp and getting stung in the foot
it hurts
DykeButte: One time, I killed the shit out of a wasp that was in my house. Smashed him with a shoe. It wasn't moving at all except for its stinger which kept on moving in a figure eight motion. That creeper me the hell out.
ShaneRunninShi... | 6 | 13.666667 | |
1337200081 | 1337315759 | t3_tqhry | t5_2to41 | 61 | ph00w: TIFU: Caught by parents.
Today i fucked up.
Today is the last day of a 3 week celebration-tradition we have in Norway. We celebrate the 13 years of school we've attended, a tradition which have existed for a quite long time. The way we celebrate is special and fun, we dress in red pants which are filled with c... | 4 | 15.25 | |
1337202704 | 1338311709 | t3_tqk4m | t5_2to41 | 4,077 | TitusAndroidicus: TIFU: Emailed a porn link to my professor
I was doing some homework today. One of things my psychology professor wanted was a link to a specific psychology experiment. I found one, copied it, and before I could send the email... my boner hijacked my brain and convinced me to fap instead of finish the ... | 16 | 254.8125 | |
1337202537 | 1337205790 | t3_tqjz8 | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU a chance for a casual fling.NSFW
I'd met this girl little bit back, we chatted for a bit then she cuts to the chase and asks to hook up some time soon. She asks for some pics, which I'm happy to provide knowing where this is going and she's truly impressed. Here's where it all goes south: She says since... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1336654869 | 1337346930 | t3_tgel4 | t5_2to41 | 3 | PinkieDash1321: TIFU by giving my girlfriend a terrible disease
Yesterday I was feeling terrible, but she insisted on kissing me goodbye. Now she's coughing up blood and feels terrible. If this weren't enough, we both have AP exams tomorrow, and prom the day after, which we've both spent quite a bit of euros on. fml
wh... | 4 | 0.75 | |
1337219301 | 1337368059 | t3_tqyon | t5_2to41 | 30 | asnof: TIFU I got hot sauce in my eye.
Not just any old franks red hot though, I like things spicy! It was [this](http://www.hotsauce.com/Endorphin-Rush-Beyond-Hot-Sauce-p/1121.htm).
You may ask how I got it in my eye, well once you pour it out of the bottle a little drips off the side then it crusts on and every blu... | 5 | 6 | |
1337226903 | 1337399795 | t3_tr53r | t5_2to41 | 66 | InfernalCorbeau: TIFU: Told my teacher I'm bigger than him
I was in my history class today, when my teacher handed out a test. Somebody asked if he used a typewriter to write it. He said yes and showed us the typewriter that he kept in the closet. Having a similar typewriter at home but in a much larger model, I mean't... | 7 | 9.428571 | |
1337256222 | 1337421591 | t3_trixm | t5_2to41 | 91 | johnclub22: TIFU: Asked a girl jokingly to "Please kill herself." Was taken seriously.
Sitting at lunch with a couple friends, I was approached by K. K says "Hey J, guess who your car partner is for tomorrows field trip?" (Said very sarcastically to obviously imply it was her.) Now throughout the year and earlier this ... | 6 | 15.166667 | |
1337218892 | 1337624410 | t3_tqya6 | t5_2to41 | 14 | [deleted]: TIFU by idling in a handicap spot with my flashers on in a full parkinglot waiting to pick up my GF, only to cause a sweet elderly couple to have to walk a good 50 yards to the store.
DAMNIT.
[deleted]: on the bright side, they got much needed exercise. just dont do it again.
GetThroughYourself: In the long... | 4 | 3.5 | |
1336980497 | 1337275457 | t3_tm5x3 | t5_2to41 | 9 | Tom72: TIFU: Didn't order my cap and gown for graduation a couple months ago. Checked what address to mail in the form + $20 late fee, then the website says they are not taking orders for my school. They all arrive on Friday.
It was all procrastination, really, and some fear of asking my parents for the money when it w... | 4 | 2.25 | |
1337277561 | 1337294094 | t3_trywa | t5_2to41 | 353 | sniktaw: TIFU: I sharted my pants last night after my birthday dinner with my new girlfriend.
Last night after dinner I shit my pants while letting out a fart. Dinner was preceded by a whole day (about 8hrs) spent with my new girlfriend. It was our second date. Not wanting to fart around her, I held in every one that b... | 8 | 44.125 | |
1337280730 | 1337281771 | t3_ts1mg | t5_2to41 | 5 | c1o2d3y: TIFU. My car door will not open, I think it was the dog that jumped into my car a few days before. Looks like I might have to pay for the damages.
I'm pretty pissed about it. First time I've hit anything on the road.
I used a GPS to go to an outlet mall far from here. The damn GPS led me on a lonely gravel c... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1337318057 | 1337432997 | t3_tsvdb | t5_2to41 | 441 | Casshole: TIFU: Got caught. Big time.
My mom always comes home at 6:00. ALWAYS.
But, the one day I decide not to lock my door, she get's home early.
Oh, and that's not the best part. She caught me watching girl on girl (I'm bi) She freaked out, called my dad, and made me read out of the bible for two hours straight.... | 10 | 44.1 | |
1337321518 | 1337381646 | t3_tsx9w | t5_2to41 | 346 | noirthesable: TIFU: Inadvertently drank a soda that had expired... over half a decade ago.
I'd found out that a vending machine at a shopping center near my house had "Berries and Cream Dr. Pepper." I *loved* B&C Dr. Pepper, and bought one, happy that they brought it back. Took a huge swig, got a mouthful of tepid,... | 11 | 31.454545 | |
1337317853 | 1337354886 | t3_tsv93 | t5_2to41 | 65 | clearedasfiled: TIFU I said "look there's a bald eagle"...but on closer inspection it was a crow with a styrofoam cup in its beak.
Shadradson: I just spit tea on my keyboard.
clearedasfiled: My apologies
| 3 | 21.666667 | |
1337327620 | 1337462723 | t3_tt021 | t5_2to41 | 69 | sicknastymax: TIFU: Blacked out, fell into a tree, made out with an ugly gay guy, and then puked on my mom.
Well we had some rum. Fuck it we had A LOT of rum. We ended up going into a house in construction and just after we left the cops showed up and told us to quiet down. We went into the back yard and I was too drun... | 4 | 17.25 | |
1337279265 | 1337335351 | t3_ts0cc | t5_2to41 | 60 | hoss9424: TIFU: Jokingly told a guy today to go die in a fire, immediately found out he is a volunteer firefighter.
I think I will now remove that phrase from my vernacular.
Michi_THE_Awesome: Sometimes our troll brains get the best of us. I have an uncontrollable urge to tell dead baby jokes around pregnant women. ... | 4 | 15 | |
1337351571 | 1337637274 | t3_ttati | t5_2to41 | 139 | TheTopDawgg: Today I accidentally pulled my pants down in the middle of a busy restaurant.
[deleted]: If you're American, how embarrassing!
[If you're British](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GwbpY4eNOgE), when's the trial?
Bazzatron: About that video, the thing that always got me (as an Englishman) is that we have [C... | 5 | 27.8 | |
1337352567 | 1337415851 | t3_ttbj9 | t5_2to41 | 130 | [deleted]: TIFU: I got into a taxi (drunk) and gave the driver my phone and £30 in case I puked. He wouldn't give them back to me and I let him drive away.
Yeah, so I was in a bit of a bad way and the taxi driver wanted "insurance" in case I vomited in the car. I gave him £20. Later on in the journey I was feeling ... | 3 | 43.333333 | |
1337365403 | 1345920579 | t3_ttlo6 | t5_2to41 | 28 | Screwedupdude: TIFU more than once
TL;DR I find my father's sex drawer, realise my mother is on menopause (not that bad but a bit weird to think about) and might have an infected ass from using a dirty carrot dildo.
So the T in this case is Tuesday. And to preface things, I'm a dude. Who doesn't consider himself all t... | 4 | 7 | |
1337368523 | 1337370665 | t3_tto6q | t5_2to41 | 10 | hungrydyke: TIFU: Broke my hand, missed the ortho appointment, can't do laundry.
I broke my hand at rugby practice last night. I was late to work today so I could get an x-ray. They scheduled me an appointment for the orthopedic surgeon, but I couldn't get there because my gf crashed her car and has been taking mine to... | 3 | 3.333333 | |
1337373703 | 1337495515 | t3_ttsff | t5_2to41 | 135 | peper224: TIFU: I almost blinded myself by putting whiteout in my eyes instead of eye-drops.
Today I woke up and my eyes were killing me because of the contacts that I wear. Half asleep, I reached over to my nightstand and grabbed a bottle and unscrewed the top and tilted in into my eye. The texture of the drop was not... | 3 | 45 | |
1337377381 | 1337399364 | t3_ttvfq | t5_2to41 | 32 | herhighness: TIFU: Caused damage to company car...again.
I work for a company that provides a car for me-a 2011 VW Jetta TDI fully loaded. I don't really need a company car but the owner is generous. Anyhow I was on the way to home and stopped by the Wendy's drive through for a small meal. When I pulled up to the firs... | 4 | 8 | |
1337374710 | 1337675653 | t3_ttt7y | t5_2to41 | 7 | Amora86: TIFU: I broke my brand-new-never-been-used-before bicycle lock
Was looking for my brand new bicycle lock so I could go commuting tomorrow. When I found it I tried the key to open it, in my dumbest self, since I didn't know which way to turn it I think I turned it at the wrong way and... broke the lock thing in... | 4 | 1.75 | |
1337399651 | 1338177689 | t3_tuant | t5_2to41 | 95 | zachglover1127: TIFU. Resin Straight to the Eye.
Earlier today I woke up and went about my daily routine. Well after I had showered i proceeded to smoking before I left for the gym. Everything was going fine and I was pretty high when I realized that my bowl was clogged. I used a thumbtack and unclogged it. The bad par... | 5 | 19 | |
1337405671 | 1337442470 | t3_tue3o | t5_2to41 | 98 | why_fist_puppies: TIFU: My girlfriend's dad, who has been visiting for her graduation, is deaf in one ear. He flipped a shit today and accused me of ignoring him and being ungrateful.
I'm kind of a quiet talker and I get real uncomfortable around in-laws. Between these two factors, he believes I haven't spoken a word ... | 5 | 19.6 |
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