start_date stringlengths 10 10 | end_date stringlengths 10 10 | thread_id stringlengths 8 10 ⌀ | subreddit stringclasses 1
value | subreddit_id stringclasses 1
value | total_score int64 -564 194k | text stringlengths 52 58.9k | num_messages int64 3 160 | avg_score float64 -55.17 14.3k |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
1337410221 | 1337559752 | t3_tug6m | t5_2to41 | 71 | [deleted]: Tifu. Always sign the hot ones in.
I work as a security guard for a private country club and some of the rich kids were having parties tonight. I am supposed to sign everyone in but this super hot chick came through. I talked to her for a minute and realized that she already knew she was way outa my league... | 5 | 14.2 | |
1337423909 | 1337846338 | t3_tukn6 | t5_2to41 | 76 | matt2709: TIFU: At a BBQ I completely covered a hotdog in mustard thinking it was American style, It was actually English mustard and I had to eat the whole thing out of politeness...
Oh god the burning...
I still cant taste flavours.
windupharlequin: Wait... you mean American yellow mustard doesn't taste the same as ... | 7 | 10.857143 | |
1337364025 | 1337794863 | t3_ttkjr | t5_2to41 | 54 | squimblish: TIFU: Tried to do something cool, smashed a strangers cellphone.
One of the best parts of riding a bicycle in NYC is that people everywhere are trying to hail cabs. This also means strangers are always trying to high five you as you ride by, or at least thats what me and my friends like to think. So we make... | 6 | 9 | |
1337426844 | 1337471600 | t3_tulkt | t5_2to41 | 191 | [deleted]: "T"IFU: Quit my semi-crappy job 3 months ago thinking I'd quickly get a new one. Nope.
Three months ago I was working a job at a *major* telecom company. It was bad, but looking back I had over-reacted entirely. I (literally) walked off the job, thinking that my skills & experience would net me a new job... | 7 | 27.285714 | |
1337467923 | 1337489667 | t3_tv9kz | t5_2to41 | 155 | zachglover1127: TIFU. The things ill do to get laid.
I am currently sitting in some girls apt. I wouldn't say its completely disgusting but it is pretty gross. Luckily the girl im after doesnt live here, but this might be where the "magic" happens. I dont want to pass on this but the place smells like wet dog and i hav... | 11 | 14.090909 | |
1337454669 | 1338907183 | t3_tv0p9 | t5_2to41 | 21 | insomni666: "T"IFU: Sent my Phi Theta Kappa application to the wrong room number, ended up missing the deadline, and now I might not be able to go to the college of my choice.
I've been applying for all the scholarships and financial aid I can apply for, and have been rejected by every single one. I don't even think I ... | 6 | 3.5 | |
1337474692 | 1337494175 | t3_tve1g | t5_2to41 | 44 | [deleted]: TIFU my grades and the love of my parents
So I got my progress report and it turns out I'm failing 3 subjects, my parents outright told me they are giving up on me and kicking me out very soon. I already made up my assignments and raised my average by at least 15 points in each of the subjects i was failing ... | 4 | 11 | |
1337494003 | 1337554617 | t3_tvpfe | t5_2to41 | 135 | hyperlyss: TIFU: Got yelled at by a blind man's friend for staring... Was excited by his cute dog.
The dog looked just like my puppy back home and I got a stupid grin on my face. Blind guy's friend stopped me and said "Don't you know better than to make fun of the disabled?!". I felt bad and ran away rather than explai... | 6 | 22.5 | |
1337495024 | 1337519470 | t3_tvpwy | t5_2to41 | 82 | [deleted]: TIFU: Missed a potential chance to get laid because my phone was on silent.
Woke up this morning to text I got from a girl at ~1:40 in the morning, saying "What're you doing?". I'm not sure why she was asking, especially at 1:40 AM, but I could guess.
Fuck me
Maybe she just needed a ride home...
[deleted]:... | 3 | 27.333333 | |
1337557473 | 1337756620 | t3_twntt | t5_2to41 | 52 | throwawawaway9000: TIFU: Got drunk, tried to kiss a girl and was shut down. Also spilled on my bike, wrecked the back tire and cut my hand.
Happened last night, honestly, if that still counts.
uncel_dolan: be gald, seh has herps. everytihgn went better with excpections.
interlude27: lol, what?
uncel_dolan: interlued pl... | 5 | 10.4 | |
1337569289 | 1337632725 | t3_twxlj | t5_2to41 | 409 | HolyEdward: TiFu: Accidentally smacked a co-workers ass
I'm a server. My co-worker was doing something by the counter and i had to reach above her to get a condiment. There was an empty tray in my left hand, and as i was reaching that tray toppled forward. I then pushed my hand forward as well to try and catch the tray... | 11 | 37.181818 | |
1337584621 | 1337989702 | t3_tx7jy | t5_2to41 | 135 | thebornotaku: TIFU: Accidentally slapped a co-worker's ass... yes, me too.
I work as a bagger at a grocery store and today I had grabbed a crumpled up piece of paper and went to go toss it in a trash bin inside the checkstand. Out of habit I usually just reach in to the checkstand and toss it behind the checker towards... | 12 | 11.25 | |
1337616410 | 1337949152 | t3_txnmn | t5_2to41 | 52 | aforsberg: TIFU: Made a 'your mom' joke to a friend... whose mom has been dead for about 3 months now.
[deleted]: To avoid this, I just assume everyone's parents are dead, unless I've met them or heard a lot about them.
warrenlain: So you insult them even though you've met them? I find it weird to make yo mama jokes w... | 4 | 13 | |
1337618070 | 1337635873 | t3_txozi | t5_2to41 | 132 | OhManItsMyAPClass: TIFU by giving my friend a wedgie, she was on her period
Needless to say, the narrow and red pancake on the floor was enough to deter me from ever doing that again.
GrouchyMcSurly: Wait, what? What was the pancake?
OhManItsMyAPClass: The red 'cake was her pad.
karlos349: I was trying to picture how t... | 9 | 14.666667 | |
1337621085 | 1338414874 | t3_txrl5 | t5_2to41 | 272 | biitchhplease: TIFU: Probably buried my turtle alive
At least, today I found out I fucked up.
Last year, my 10-year-old sister and I found a very young box turtle at my uncle's house. We figured it probably would have got eaten by one of the million animals that eats baby turtles, so we took it home. We kept it for a l... | 8 | 34 | |
1337642445 | 1337650330 | t3_tybbz | t5_2to41 | 46 | [deleted]: TIFU by not asking enough questions
Long story short I am intern, did some stuff I was asked to by one guy next thing I know the main boss is emailing me telling me that I fucked up everything to meet him in his office next morning. Just a quick question if anyone does read this, how much does this impact m... | 4 | 11.5 | |
1337649736 | 1337659393 | t3_tyhrp | t5_2to41 | 65 | so_obscure: TIFU by launching a rock from my lawnmower into my mother's $500 glass front door.
Needless to say, she wasn't happy... My main talking point was that shit happens.
Suddenly-Dubstep: This seems like one of those things that just happens and you have little control over. Just a peaceful day mowing the lawn... | 3 | 21.666667 | |
1337652279 | 1337710087 | t3_tyk10 | t5_2to41 | 5 | mollyfg: today i sold tickets to a fellow redditor for a show i thought was tonight - turns out it was last night
rya11111: removed. please follow rule 1 and repost. Thnx :)
mollyfg: fair, sorry! new to this subreddit
| 3 | 1.666667 | |
1337653380 | 1337659299 | t3_tyl1p | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU Lying about grades.
I normally did very well in high school, with no C's in my report card, and my parents were proud of me. Given that my older brother and sister were average, they expected me to outshine them, and I believed in myself too. And then junior year came along, and I was getting a C in Alg... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1337656785 | 1338665682 | t3_tyo3m | t5_2to41 | 1,290 | Shrappy: TIFU while peeing.
Just happened. I'm wearing gym shorts. You know, elastic waistband? So I'm doing my business when my thumb slips off the waistband, causing it to shoot up into my exposed gentlemen vegetables. This resulted in a rather spectacular stream of homemade lemonade covering the side of the bowl... | 10 | 129 | |
1337649625 | 1337685212 | t3_tyho7 | t5_2to41 | 2 | jululous: TIFU I tipped a chair onto my crush
So in every classroom in my school, there are a couple really crappy desks in the back of the room that fall over really easily, and we call them the tippy desks. So today I was sitting in a tippy desk next to my crush, and suddenly the desk tipped over while I was sitting ... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1337688442 | 1337726038 | t3_tz4r0 | t5_2to41 | 273 | Alexi_Strife: TIFU by putting electrodes on my penis
So I work in a porn store and one of the products we sell is a E-stim package. It contains 4 electrodes and a remote. I messed around with it previously with my girlfriend when I first got it and we had fun naming all the power settings which ranged from 'cat claws i... | 4 | 68.25 | |
1337716078 | 1337800157 | t3_tzqnz | t5_2to41 | 5 | l0l_cabbage: TIFU - Screw you, reddit is fun app!
I opened reddit Is fun app on my lesson. Someone replied to me, so the notification sound came. My teacher notices this and takes my phone. She refuses to give It to me and tells that she will give It only to my mom. My mom refuses to take the phone until the end of May... | 5 | 1 | |
1337705658 | 1337784824 | t3_tzh81 | t5_2to41 | 17 | cosakboomhauser: TIFU by puking in my bathroom sink and clogging it
I was extremely intoxicated and half asleep. Didn't think to go to the toilet at the time because it was the heat of the moment. Upchucked my whole meatball sub that I had for dinner.
C7J0yc3: Done this more than once, all while intoxicated. Don't worr... | 5 | 3.4 | |
1337748415 | 1337778138 | t3_u0jw7 | t5_2to41 | 165 | Spillanya: TIFU by letting my boyfriend drive my car.
[Oops.](http://i.imgur.com/hEF81.jpg)
[deleted]: but but...i thought the stereotype applied to women only o_0
siegewolf: He must've been an Asian.
Asnanon: They drive as if there is no tomorrow.
Aszuul: More like so there won't be a tomorrow.
Asnanon: Well that is t... | 6 | 27.5 | |
1337784695 | 1338483459 | t3_u123n | t5_2to41 | 75 | [deleted]: TIFU my piano test
Today I took a piano test in front of room full of people. When I finsihed the judges said : "***, you know what we're about to say : you need to work more. It's a C". C is the worst mark you can get in my music school.
djm4391: was it a bad performance? or just completely not what they w... | 6 | 12.5 | |
1337799353 | 1337868892 | t3_u1esk | t5_2to41 | 385 | IManageTacoBell: TIFU: emailed an important company client a thread where four co workers and myself mocked their team members on our project, got fired.
I work in the media industry.
Had been with the company for 3+ years when I sent along a thread to our customer where we were complaining about them. Had a great sa... | 7 | 55 | |
1337804061 | 1338164938 | t3_u1j8h | t5_2to41 | 81 | jululous: TIFU: A blue pen exploded in my mouth
I was chewing on a pen, and it exploded in my mouth. Currently on my third round of mouthwash. Now that I think about it, the first thing I should've done was take pics for reddit, but it didn't occur to me. I guess I'm not a true redditor :(
EDIT: Pics: http://imgur.com... | 7 | 11.571429 | |
1337805660 | 1338183095 | t3_u1ks1 | t5_2to41 | 53 | CJ090: TIFU: Told the false story of the last time I had sex, now a full blown investigation is being conducted on the subject.
So im in the military and am a pretty to myself. When people see you arent trying to be "that guy" they assume one or two things 1: you're a virgin 2: you're gay. for me it was both under the ... | 4 | 13.25 | |
1337939682 | 1338864579 | t3_u1l5y | t5_2to41 | 5 | Vefantur: do you have an ex? do you know how scary some exes can be?
Joey_Bellows: Especially a crazy ex.
cfsharp_: I had a teacher in high school whose ex-gf robbed a bank. Then she went crazy and almost shot him.
Joey_Bellows: My buddys ex stabbed him, he was fine had to get 5 stitches in his had but it was an inter... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1337803381 | 1337830962 | t3_u1ilx | t5_2to41 | 45 | WrecktheBeast: TIFU a Job interview at _______ Marketing
It starts off reasonably well. At two o'clock eastern time, I leave my current place of residence to go to the interview at 2:30 pm. With the directions in hand, I hop in the driver seat of my four door dodge with broken indicators. I'm dressed to kill
(i'll prob... | 14 | 3.214286 | |
1337816304 | 1338167802 | t3_u1ui7 | t5_2to41 | 8 | [deleted]: TIFU I called my fiancee a cunt
I'm such a piece of shit, today I royally fucked up. I called my fiancee, who is my best friend and lover fit over 7 years, a cunt. I only did this cause she wouldn't open the driver side door from the inside cause I can't from the outside. Please tell me how fucked up I am, a... | 4 | 2 | |
1337823839 | 1337825505 | t3_u214y | t5_2to41 | 5 | TheRedditSurvivalist: TIFU : Finals
Fucked up.
http://imgur.com/PqWrO
[deleted]: ...Did you study?
TheRedditSurvivalist: No, thought it was going to be on the 21st, (Monday) but it was on the 14th which is also a monday.
[deleted]: Well there's your problem. As long as you learn from your mistakes.
TheRedditSurvivali... | 5 | 1 | |
1337843345 | 1337846305 | t3_u2fe9 | t5_2to41 | 2 | [deleted]: TIFU I put a hash-tag in Reddit
Yulex2: #youmeanlikethis
[deleted]: #yeahImeanlikethat
#ididntintendtopostthis
| 3 | 0.666667 | |
1337861293 | 1337931843 | t3_u2mxv | t5_2to41 | 324 | paper_weights: TIFU: I got dirt in my eye, and promptly stuck a bleach-covered finger in there to get it out.
Consequence: Ow ow fuckity ow.
pdonoso: I got a better one. I was chopping some [long peppers](http://machukitchen.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/aji-amarillo.jpg) and without washing my hands went to take a pee.... | 9 | 36 | |
1337890801 | 1337903512 | t3_u3at2 | t5_2to41 | -4 | [deleted]: TIFU I got caught by a teacher
During a test I was not sure weather the country was Argentina or brazil. So i looked at the sheet of the girl sitting next to me to check. The girl next to me is very attract. After i check the answer the teacher is staring at me for 20 seconds. I finish the test and she tells... | 10 | -0.4 | |
1337900046 | 1338173374 | t3_u3j12 | t5_2to41 | 72 | meaghanhall_: TIFU by punching myself in the face (subsequent bloody nose) upon waking up.
Yeah, I opened my eyes (still drowsy), thought my hand was a bee. I'm fucking terrified of bees, so in a panic, my arms flailed everywhere. I then punched myself in the nose and, due to my deviated septum, got a nosebleed. I sho... | 6 | 12 | |
1337915409 | 1338017914 | t3_u3w2a | t5_2to41 | 261 | Estranged_Noodle: TIFU: I'm severely lactose-intolerant, got super fucked up this afternoon at a work party, and my colleagues ended up convincing me to drink unpasteurized yogurt. I'm now shitting snow-white while wrenching in constant, agonizing pain
Earlier_this_week: It comes out white?
Estranged_Noodle: Yeah .. i... | 9 | 29 | |
1337914646 | 1337995204 | t3_u3ves | t5_2to41 | 22 | Mrninjamonkey: TIFU: was practicing for a upcoming longboard race, broke head the week before.
I have always wanted to go to a downhill longboarding competition, but my parents had always forbade me from doing it. After a year of constant reassurance that it was safe enough and I had proper skill and safety equipment t... | 3 | 7.333333 | |
1337934048 | 1338234014 | t3_u47g6 | t5_2to41 | 72 | warrenlain: TIFU: Whilst driving 70MPH on the freeway, the iffy hood latch I neglected to fix for a year came undone. Picture proof of the aftermath.
This thing flew up and covered my entire windshield (and by some miracle, the windshield did not crack). I eased off the accelerator and pulled to the shoulder when it wa... | 6 | 12 | |
1337967596 | 1338579128 | t3_u4rc8 | t5_2to41 | 251 | Estranged_Noodle: TIFU: Called my mom a nigger today and I'm white. Not only do I feel awful, but now my whole family thinks I'm racist
I got into an argument with my mom today. Long story short, I got into a rage and as she screamed back at me, I called her the n-word.
I immediately regret that decision because now ... | 26 | 9.653846 | |
1337990003 | 1338064972 | t3_u5a3t | t5_2to41 | 255 | m0lly: TIFU: Dumped a girl's mom's ashes...
TIFU: I was messing around with her necklaces for awhile, looking at one that was half heart with "friend" on it...she knew I was playing with her necklaces cuz I was doing it for awhile...then I saw her locket, I thought there might be a cute picture of her and her boyfriend... | 15 | 17 | |
1338005662 | 1338020261 | t3_u5kng | t5_2to41 | 12 | [deleted]: tifu: I spent $167 on computer parts and a game just to find out I can't play it.
I spent all of the money I've had saved up to upgrade my computers [video card](http://www.evga.com/products/moreInfo.asp?pn=01G-P3-1526-KR&family=GeForce%20500%20Series%20Family&sw=) and [ram](http://www.newegg.com/Pro... | 8 | 1.5 | |
1338056727 | 1344599922 | t3_u68q8 | t5_2to41 | 968 | RancidPonyMilk: TIFU: fingered girlfriend after eating ghost-pepper infused hot wings, then she made me fuck her, god the pain
It had been at least 30-40 minutes after and i had washed my hands but apparently that naga jolokia oil stays with you for hours. Things got a little "hot" later on and started fingering her an... | 14 | 69.142857 | |
1338065580 | 1338111747 | t3_u6ey4 | t5_2to41 | 38 | aimlessinwonder: TIFU by knowingly letting my friend get eaten out by a guy that had just vomited
I felt to awkward to interrupt their alone time to tell her that I had just found out he puked so I let it happen.
I'm an awful person.
excited_by_typos: Assuming the dude rinsed his mouth out afterwards (assuming he was i... | 3 | 12.666667 | |
1338084877 | 1339555895 | t3_u6rmh | t5_2to41 | 49 | supernova1331: TIFU: Complimented one of the girls in our school's drama club on her fake self-injury makeup. The cuts were real.
We were at Illinois High School Theaterfest (this happened a while back but I'm just now posting it). She had just got out of a horror movie makeup class and had plenty of fake injuries. I a... | 6 | 8.166667 | |
1338103042 | 1338161813 | t3_u71tt | t5_2to41 | 64 | [deleted]: TIFU - dropped a table on my foot, then proceeded to break my car key which resulted in me limping my way home from work after a 14 hour shift.
W0RLDWAR2: How did you break your key? And im sorry that sucks dick. Im really sorry you had to go through that
[deleted]: I'm not too sure. It didn't break in the... | 6 | 10.666667 | |
1338112672 | 1338449334 | t3_u74s9 | t5_2to41 | 46 | kungPOWchickeen: TIFU almost got caught during sexy time by my gf's sisters
Im 20 and my gf is 19..
sexy time had started and everything was cool... we decided that for a change we would do it somewhere else other than the bedroom so we got going in the living room.
fully naked and finished the foreplay just about to i... | 5 | 9.2 | |
1338114041 | 1338287132 | t3_u755j | t5_2to41 | 85 | Tohroe: TIFU: I tried to put out a fire with 130 proof rum.
A few coals fell off a barbecue onto the dry, leafy ground around it. I panicked a little (I'm really not good in situations such as these), and grabbed the nearest liquid to put it out, which just so happened to have a *very* high alcohol content. Went up in ... | 6 | 14.166667 | |
1338131226 | 1338198340 | t3_u7bje | t5_2to41 | 189 | galico: TIFU: Drank my Mum's 30+ year old whisky
Actually, last night I fucked up. '86 bottle of Famous Old Grouse mostly gone. It gets better though, she won the bottle in the height of her horse racing career for racing for England. Dope.
Argle: http://www.whisky.com/forum/showthread.php?t=8041
TheMightyCreep: I hav... | 11 | 17.181818 | |
1338161830 | 1338251307 | t3_u7wop | t5_2to41 | 541 | strappingyoungpeople: TIFU by leaving a vibrator in too long, lost the cord in my anus, then had to poop it out and clean it off in a public restroom
Igneous_Schist: To clear up, add flavor (oh god that phrasing), and help you understand. We were having afternoon sexy-times, both of us were experimenting with Anal (fi... | 8 | 67.625 | |
1338150368 | 1338163095 | t3_u7oib | t5_2to41 | 20 | ineedtousespaces: TIFU: Heard about how I tried to punch a friend in the face while drunk.
I'm a pretty mild-mannered guy when sober and drunk. But, apparently last night I was so gone that I don't remember leaving the club, don't remember climbing upstairs into my female friend's apartment and bedroom, and don't remem... | 3 | 6.666667 | |
1338167455 | 1338249925 | t3_u80lg | t5_2to41 | 77 | Helwyr: TIFU: Learned the hard way how hot Icyhot really is
I'm not gonna lie, I did it out of 80% curiosity, 20% an accident. I got what I thought was a small amount, and put it on myself in a nonsensitive area. That wasn't bad at all. In fact, I didn't really even feel it. So then I got to wondering, what would happe... | 6 | 12.833333 | |
1338165871 | 1338258411 | t3_u7zg6 | t5_2to41 | 36 | throwinglemons: TIFU: Took 2 hits of acid and woke up in the hospital because I had had a seizure.
[deleted]: And hopefully today was the day you realized that drugs are never worth the trouble.
iDunTrollBro: No, drugs are fine. You just can't be dumb when you take them. People that overestimate themselves and their o... | 5 | 7.2 | |
1338175688 | 1338177289 | t3_u86j2 | t5_2to41 | 12 | Mike_Hawksbigg: TIFU by joing reddit.
I can tell tonight is gonna be a long night guys. Good thing i dont go in till 4 tomorrow.
TheWolfofMibu: You get no karma from self-posts.
Mike_Hawksbigg: wasn't my intention, I just could find out how to edit the title
asnof: >wasn't my intention, I just could find out how to... | 5 | 2.4 | |
1338175197 | 1338284738 | t3_u8666 | t5_2to41 | 122 | nobutreallybro: TIFU my cover letter by sending it with a typo. I'm applying for an editorial position.
I'm pretty sure that is an instant disqualifier.
TheWolfofMibu: Even if wasn't for an editorial position, many businesses that receive many applications will automatically toss ones with spelling errors.
nobutreall... | 4 | 30.5 | |
1338181758 | 1338677549 | t3_u8asv | t5_2to41 | 57 | warrenlain: TIFU: Did not realize cupholders in cars are not for actual cups without lids. Looked down to grab this cup of milk to go with my brownie, and in making sure it did not spill, I rear-ended someone whilst going 30MPH.
Needless to say, there was milk all over my dashboard.
Since I just discovered TIFU, I tho... | 3 | 19 | |
1338184800 | 1338275152 | t3_u8cp3 | t5_2to41 | 32 | calbalcrf80: how i lost my father 180,000 dollars
mdax8414: These things can be repaired with explanations. Usually a good "my son is a royal fucktard and telemarketers are assholes" is sufficient. Most fathers can relate to that on some degree.
There will be other buyers otherwise.
ScrubTutor: I donno man, people ... | 6 | 5.333333 | |
1338230442 | 1338711509 | t3_u91ku | t5_2to41 | 28 | Zebedy: Bike wouldn't start, pulled every fuse, swapped every relay, uninstalled alarm, shorted out fuel pump, arranged pick up collection for feked ECU... flicked kill switch back on - oops!!
kipperfish: hahaha...it happens to the best of us.
i once called my dad to come out with a trailer and pick me up, i was abo... | 4 | 7 | |
1338237778 | 1338252329 | t3_u97n0 | t5_2to41 | 437 | searspoop: TIFU and took a shit in sears...but I wasn't in the
restroom.
Today I enjoyed a nice coffee at home and departed for the mall. At the mall I had a chicken sandwich, with a packet of Texas Pete hot sauce; it was delicious. Not 15 minutes later, I'm standing in the electronics section of Sears, texting my f... | 7 | 62.428571 | |
1338239782 | 1338253734 | t3_u99ah | t5_2to41 | 20 | AWildCharizard: TIFU when trying to make a Plushie
TIFU: I went to go use my Old as shit iron for this plush I am making of Big Macintosh, from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and as soon as I turned it on the lowest setting the damn thing turned into a blow torch in my hands, and I burnt my thumb. The connecting ... | 4 | 5 | |
1338257133 | 1338322053 | t3_u9n7y | t5_2to41 | 111 | [deleted]: TIFU: Fought the police, punched a man in the face, and attempted suicide
Deleted because as someone said this is more of a shit show than a fuck up.
NarcoticNarcosis: If I hadn't been in a totally different, but similarly outrageous situation, I wouldn't believe you.
ratchet1106: Care to share?
NarcoticN... | 8 | 13.875 | |
1338310718 | 1338311863 | t3_uak4x | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU: End of high school drunken fuck up.
Well, I graduated high school a few days ago. Summer has just started. Last night I got a call from one of my buddies, inviting a bunch of friends and I to our usual spot in the woods where we chill. When I arrived I saw that we had a 5'th of rum, and some beer. I ... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1338306865 | 1338317082 | t3_uagwu | t5_2to41 | 4 | [deleted]: TIFU: Went on vacation for a week the freezer was left a little open chicken went bad.
Lets just say it doesn't smell pleasant in here.
Recuse: Clean out the freezer, clean it well, and sprinkle it with baking soda, and leave for a couple hours. Open windows.
:( Sorry about the chicken, Hope you had an exc... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1338314724 | 1338394405 | t3_uanpi | t5_2to41 | 1,594 | sabertooth66: TIFU. Fell asleep during a haircut and let out a terrible fart. Chaos ensued.
I got let out of work early today so decided to get a haircut. Luckily the woman who has been cutting my hair for two years was there. She offered to wash my hair which I knew might knock me out, but it's my favorite part of a... | 9 | 177.111111 | |
1338317995 | 1338325481 | t3_uaqlc | t5_2to41 | 2 | kinda_alone: TIFU: Roasted some peppers, ate one off the grill.
I decided to try a new recipe for roasting peppers today. Since I had never roasted peppers before, I could not tell if they were getting close to being done or not. So I decided to try one. My dumbass brain temporarily shut off and I ate one straight off... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1338332577 | 1338454742 | t3_ub4m2 | t5_2to41 | 62 | BearSole: TIFU, I was working on my Photoshop portion of my Photography final with 5 minutes left in class, and instead of deleting a layer, I deleted the entire picture.
Dunno what's gonna happen now, the teacher said "I won't count you off". I either get a 50 or 100 on the final. Grade is teetering on ambiguous wordi... | 7 | 8.857143 | |
1338332425 | 1338349164 | t3_ub4gs | t5_2to41 | 6 | Zebedy: TIFU by putting up a post about being an arse and not putting TIFU at the start
biitchhplease: Do British people think the word "ass" looks weird? Because I'm American and I can't over how awkward the word "arse" looks. Whenever I read it I picture a seal in my head going "arrs-arrs-arrs." But I might just be ... | 3 | 2 | |
1338379390 | 1338424147 | t3_ubzjc | t5_2to41 | 209 | throwawayyourdignity: TIFU: I took liquid paraffin and now my anus is an uncontrollable leaking mess.
Two nights ago I took liquid paraffin (it's supposed to be a laxative, had a bit of trouble 'going') and the next morning there was still nothing. So I researched some more and took a slightly higher dosage as I figure... | 7 | 29.857143 | |
1338390187 | 1338409897 | t3_uc6bz | t5_2to41 | 5 | [deleted]: TIFU. I got put in Internal Excision in school for one lesson and I lost my entitlement as a mentor.
I have a problem with wearing spare PE kit, I got into an argument with my PE teacher because I was not the only one refusing to wear the spare kit but I was the only one in trouble.
I got sent to IE where... | 5 | 1 | |
1338409543 | 1338470023 | t3_ucn3c | t5_2to41 | 313 | dickblister: TIFU by having to refuse a booty call because i'd blistered my dick wanking over the person who's just invited me over. The wank was after a drunken one night stand with this person.
As it says, we had a drunken get together, when I finally got in I thought I'd have a quick wank. My dick was obviously a li... | 8 | 39.125 | |
1338413110 | 1338424860 | t3_ucqjh | t5_2to41 | 26 | IMSA: Please Just Shoot Me. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done trying to get to know someone?
[deleted]: ppffchh... I'm sorry, but that's funny! It could have been much worse, it's kinda her fault for reacting so intensely over a mistake anyone could'v made. She probably wasn't that nice a person.
I... | 7 | 3.714286 | |
1338417993 | 1338686200 | t3_ucv1q | t5_2to41 | 92 | thrwntllwy: TIFU: Had successful date with dream girl, ended up in bed with somebody else.
Oh man, I have messed up.
So I met this girl about two weeks ago. She's *amazing*, truly, it's hard to believe that she's from the same planet as me. She seems to operate on a higher plane, and only floats down from her cloud ... | 5 | 18.4 | |
1338434753 | 1338624186 | t3_ud9y2 | t5_2to41 | 69 | Mrninjamonkey: TIFU: parents busted me for smoking pot on a bluff.
I have to give a little backstory here. My parents are by far the worst in trying to find the bad in people. They will go out of their way to spy on me and make sure I'm not doing anything they don't like. Anyways, last night I had been smoking pot with... | 5 | 13.8 | |
1338438543 | 1338478528 | t3_uddci | t5_2to41 | 89 | DeboothOxyodious: TIFU: Got bear maced
I was out with my band, we were about to pick up pizza, just chillin on the side of the street. When this car pulls up beside us, and my friend Jarred goes to see what they want. Next thing you know hes got a can of bear mace 3 inches from his face and he got sprayed for a good 2... | 16 | 5.5625 | |
1338412464 | 1338468247 | t3_ucpxw | t5_2to41 | 10 | tngpnchfrtbx: At my staff party
Thrashlee: What exactly is icing? Drugs of some form or..?
foxy1167: "Icing A Bro"
1. You trick a bro into touching a Smirnoff Ice.
2. Said bro must get down on one knee.
3. The aforementioned bro must drink the entire bottle, or risk some sort of punishment from the other bros.
Thr... | 7 | 1.428571 | |
1338471540 | 1338557107 | t3_udu12 | t5_2to41 | 2 | HeIsMyPossum: TIFU: Used toothpaste as deodorant and deodorant as toothpaste.
In a hurry, trying to do both at once. Placed the deodorant on toothbrush, and popped it into my mouth as I applied the toothpaste to my right armpit.
My mouth still tastes weird.
Fuck.
StiffyAllDay: And you didnt realise that you you had t... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1338471045 | 1338523092 | t3_udtob | t5_2to41 | 55 | glook: TIFU by running git reset --hard in my development directory to test undoing a commit.
I lost three weeks worth of uncommited development work. I have since read and learned many things that I should have done, but didn't. My boss is pissed because the uncommited stuff was supposed to go live two hours after I... | 4 | 13.75 | |
1338486962 | 1338488223 | t3_ue6yr | t5_2to41 | 28 | IMSA: TIFU: Please Just Shoot Me. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done trying to get to know someone?
I’ll start,
Several years ago I was attending Portland State University and decided to take summer classes to get a jump on the following school year. During the summer many students living in Portla... | 4 | 7 | |
1338490249 | 1338493724 | t3_uea03 | t5_2to41 | 14 | BurningPixel: TIFU Failed Eyebrows, as a man
Well i was at the Barber today and just casually small-talked with the guy, so we were talking about him winning some style competitions and other stuff as he asked me if he should do my eyebrows. Just to clearify that, I'm Male 17 Years old straight and was all like well w... | 6 | 2.333333 | |
1338390116 | 1338520049 | t3_uc69i | t5_2to41 | 3 | kentuckyfriedfish: TIFU by drinking an entire bottle of schnapps the night before a final and an as yet uncompleted project are due. I have roughly four hours.
Also tried to work through it and drink some coffee to stay awake, except that resulted in almost no sleep and not much progress.
TheWolfofMibu: Why?
kentuckyf... | 3 | 1 | |
1338493559 | 1349481113 | t3_ued77 | t5_2to41 | 1,700 | moonbutton: TIFU an entire restaurant.
I work as a waitress at my friends' family business, and I tend to bring in some wicked tips, but today I fucked up. How did I fuck up? I did not tie my shoes correctly and when I was parking at the restaurant one of the laces got stuck on the pedal and I stupidly tried to kick it... | 10 | 170 | |
1338503507 | 1338963726 | t3_uembn | t5_2to41 | 38 | aprofondir: TIFU: Slapped my Physics teacher in the butt accidentally..
Well, not today, but some days ago, I can't remember ; but now that I've got a computer I can put it on Reddit.
So, we had a test from Physics. Of course, I finished first, and I was packing my shit (and by that I don't mean fecal matter) and my p... | 5 | 7.6 | |
1338524584 | 1338526565 | t3_uf4md | t5_2to41 | 5 | strongbadiophage: TIFU by making a Facebook
At first I made it because this girl kept pressuring me to make one because she wanted to invite me to one of her parties through it. She is really nice so I obliged, but now I look back at what a stupid reason that was to make a Facebook. Why couldn't she just invite me... | 4 | 1.25 | |
1338525156 | 1339071345 | t3_uf538 | t5_2to41 | 260 | [deleted]: TIFU Got Caught... At Work!
Okay so I'm basically fucked. Let me get started on how badly I'm going to lose my job.
So today at work my boss was sick so he called in her daughter who is a year older than me to come in to help close. So she came in and we proceeded to get done clean up and the other workers ... | 10 | 26 | |
1338553228 | 1338583797 | t3_ufih8 | t5_2to41 | 85 | [deleted]: TIFU Caused $4000 of water dam... with a cat
My neighbors have a cat that I let into my house sometimes and give him water, then play. I went off to work today, and he was sitting in the living room. I didn't want to kick him out (it was raining), so I filled half a bucket of water and put it next to him so ... | 8 | 10.625 | |
1338557704 | 1339151121 | t3_ufkw2 | t5_2to41 | 33 | aprofondir: TIFU by causing a fire-fuckfest at my friend's house
Well this was some weeks ago, but fuck it..Here's the story:
We wanted to make something to eat, like, desperately. So we found a website about making little sweet shit. I don't know how do you call it in English, you can call it LSS or maybe donuts but n... | 7 | 4.714286 | |
1338580479 | 1338767249 | t3_ug3si | t5_2to41 | 4 | Muricate: TIFU Caught with pot
Me, Circa yesterday, at school. Being the stoner that I am, I had just traded a cigarette for some amazing weed. Half an hour later, I decide to go outside, and look at my wonderful herb. As soon as, and I literally mean as soon as I pulled out said bag of weed, my planning teacher decide... | 3 | 1.333333 | |
1338584509 | 1338748586 | t3_ug7hp | t5_2to41 | 425 | Metabilities: TIFU: as a vegetarian I ate a giant steak
So, mega fuck up on my part today. I am 26 and have been vegetarian for health reasons (not ethical) for about 8 years. I rarely cheat, maybe once or twice a year when I'm craving protein, and I keep it very small, like a slice of bacon or two.
Well today, I had ... | 9 | 47.222222 | |
1338585184 | 1340253229 | t3_ug82p | t5_2to41 | 197 | ScrubTutor: TIFU - I realized that my resume, with which I have applied unsuccessfully for 30 or 40 jobs, had my girlfriend's old phone number on it, and not my own.
IDangleFreely: How did that happen?
ScrubTutor: I didn't used to have a cell phone, so I dialed my girlfriend's number a lot. Now I have speed-dial, and ... | 4 | 49.25 | |
1338608038 | 1338609489 | t3_ugp30 | t5_2to41 | 8 | theubster: TIFU: ruined brand new entrance to a ranch...in front of my boss
I was working on wood-staining our new archway in a cherrypicker, and spilled two or three gallons of it on our new gleaming concrete entrance. Now there is a 20 foot diameter black/brown stain. I did this all in front of my boss.
[deleted]: If... | 5 | 1.6 | |
1338600071 | 1338728597 | t3_ugjg5 | t5_2to41 | 58 | cfsharp_: TIFU: I lit my kitchen on fire... With a potato
Well, this happened yesterday, but here it is anyways. I was hungry as hell, so I decided to make a baked potato. Being the newly-independent post-college student that I am, I don't have an oven, so I couldn't actually bake the potato. So I decide to use the mic... | 6 | 9.666667 | |
1332866434 | 1338613412 | t3_rg1jp | t5_2to41 | 6 | kayraree: TIFU: I called into work to go see a boy who subsequently bailed.
Technically it was yesterday, but I didn't find this subreddit until today. I do stupid things when I care about people.
HE_WHO_DRAWS: Maybe he had a stroke or something...
kayraree: Nawh, he was just kind of an asshole. Doesn't matter now.
| 3 | 2 | |
1338599461 | 1338680118 | t3_ugj0e | t5_2to41 | 21 | Graham1020: TIFU: Ran away from a chihuahua
This was about 3 years ago, and I had this paper route for a local newspaper in my neighbourhood. I got my dad to drive me qround our neighbourhood in our van, and I would stand inside with the door open and when we got to a drive way, I would jump out and run down the drivew... | 3 | 7 | |
1338617411 | 1338875931 | t3_ugv8m | t5_2to41 | 85 | Switchitis: TIFU only made it 2 minutes into my road trip.
I got a call from my best friends who live out of state saying they were coming back to our hometown, they invited me to come see them. So I seized the opportunity to reunite with them, I got my shit together and left my house. I stopped at the gas station a ha... | 4 | 21.25 | |
1338624866 | 1338629153 | t3_ugyl6 | t5_2to41 | 2 | Thrashlee: TMFFU-She called a baby at work "hot" and might lose her job.
She works in a supermarket and actually referred to an infant as hot. His mother overhead and placed a complaint about her to the manager.
seven_wings: Just tell her to say that she meant "hot" as in "running a fever".
Thrashlee: She already said... | 3 | 0.666667 | |
1338633142 | 1339051709 | t3_uh193 | t5_2to41 | 32 | Sh1bble: TIFU: Teabagged a sleeping friend and was dumb
enough to let friends film it
Was my good friends 20th birthday and an old friend who i used to have feeling for punched me in the eye, knocked my glasses off and managed to full thrust her knuckle into my left eye socket, not wanting to kick off and ruin the atm... | 8 | 4 | |
1338610731 | 1338672952 | t3_ugr2u | t5_2to41 | 44 | [deleted]: TIFU and almost blew up an apartment building
So my brother and I got summer jobs as handymen for an apartment complex. We've been on the job a week, and today we were told to paint the floor of the basement laundry room.
We had to remove the machines from the room first, so we got to unplugging the machin... | 5 | 8.8 | |
1338677667 | 1338697863 | t3_uhs6s | t5_2to41 | 188 | Near122: Well Tifu by breaking my boyfriends leg
SteveTheDragonborn: Damn. That sounds painful. So, I'm guessing you gave him something special to make up for it then, right?
Near122: Yeah I just feel like complete shit
Dic3rZ: Please don't feel like shit, acciddents happen.
Go take care of him, give him extra attenti... | 6 | 31.333333 | |
1338683993 | 1338928444 | t3_uhwuo | t5_2to41 | 179 | thrwntllwy: TIFUpdate: Had successful date with dream girl, ended up in bed with somebody else.
[Previous thread here.](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/ucv1q/tifu_had_successful_date_with_dream_girl_ended_up/)
Some people asked for an update, so here it is.
Well, I met up with her. Once we were sitting down, I... | 9 | 19.888889 |
Subsets and Splits
No community queries yet
The top public SQL queries from the community will appear here once available.