url
stringlengths
32
104
text
stringlengths
8.46k
297k
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Warrior.html
WARRIOR Written by Gavin O'Connor, Anthony Tambakis & Cliff Dorfman EXT. PITTSBURGH, PA - TWILIGHT A beautiful blue-collar city approaching nightfall. Bridges. Rivers. Churches. The working class poetry of the `Burgh. EXT. ST. MARY'S CHURCH - SAME PADDY CONLON (60) exits the doors of a run-down church holding a 1...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Watchmen.html
WATCHMEN Written by David Hayter & Alex Tse INT. EDWARD BLAKE'S APARTMENT - KITCHEN - EVENING CLOSE ON: A "Have A Nice Day" HAPPY FACE PIN. STEAM rises past the pin. We hear a KETTLE BOILING. We PULL BACK and find that the pin adorns the lapel of a ROBE worn by EDWARD BLAKE, 63, but amazingly not far from his physi...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Water-for-Elephants.html
WATER FOR ELEPHANTS Written by Richard Lagravenese APRIL 16, 2009 EXT. MODERN CIRCUS GROUNDS - PRESENT DAY - NIGHT An upstate New York town. A CIRCUS is being dismantled...The Big Top falls and is gathered up by workmen...Trucks are being loaded with animals. EXT. PARKING LOT - CIRCUS GROUNDS - CONTINUOUS - NIGHT...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Way-Back,-The.html
THE WAY BACK Written by Peter Weir Inspired by the book "The Long Walk" by Slavomir Rawicz Shooting Draft: Sofia, January 2009 1 AERIAL PANORAMA - DAY TO NIGHT 1 A slow, steady, downward view. The camera seemingly floats as the curve of the globe passes beneath. Beginning in the green jungles of Sikkim in Northe...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/We-Own-the-Night.html
WE OWN THE NIGHT Written by James Gray FADE IN: A PAIR OF SMOKESTACKS AGAINST AN ORANGE AUTUMN SUN SKY... THE CAMERA ZOOMS OUT to REVEAL: A CEMETERY in the foreground. TOMBSTONES blend into a NEVER-ENDING SEA OF MIDDLE-CLASS ROW HOUSES in the distance, and nothing seems to separate the two. A NEWLY DUG GRAVE is in ...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/What-Lies-Beneath.html
WHAT LIES BENEATH by Clark Gregg June 14, 1999 FADE IN: Moving through a murky haze. Dark blues and greens, shafts of prismed purple. A pale shard appears in the distance. Gliding closer, a group of tiny fish dart before the camera. We're UNDERWATER. Arriving at the form, it finally sharpens into focus. It's a WOM...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/When-a-Stranger-Calls.html
WHEN A STRANGER CALLS Written by Steve Feke and Fred Walton SHOOTING DRAFT FADE IN: EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - NIGHT A quiet upper-middle class neighborhood. The CAMERA is at the curb, looking down the street. There are no sidewalks. Trees arch overhead. CICADAS drone on the soundtrack. The OPENING TITLES briefly FA...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/While-She-Was-Out.html
WHILE SHE WAS OUT Written by Susan Montford Based on a short story by Edward Bryant 5th draft December 20, 2006 MAP GRIDS From the pages of a Thomas guide converge, overlap and re- configure across the screen. The endlessly ironic names of American suburbs parade before us, their violet territories marching forw...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Whiplash.html
WHIPLASH Written by Damien Chazelle BLACK... We hear a HIT. A drumstick against a drum head. Crisp, sharp. Then a second hit. Then a third and a fourth. The hits growing so fast they start to blur together. Like gunfire... 1 INT. NASSAU BAND REHEARSAL STUDIO - GEHRING HALL - NIGHT 1 A cavernous space. Sound-proo...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Whistleblower,-The.html
THE WHISTLEBLOWER Written by Eilis Kirwan & Larysa Kondracki August 3, 2007 1 BLACKNESS... 1 GIRL'S VOICE (O.S.) (UKRAINIAN) I can't see anything... Are you there? Silence. GIRL'S VOICE (O.S.) (UKRAINIAN) (CONT'D) Are you there!? Giggling. LUBA, 15, dangerous, flicks a lighter, sparking a cigarette, and grins i...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/White-Christmas.html
WHITE CHRISTMAS "WHITE CHRISTMAS" by Melvin Frank, Norman Krasna and Norman Panama FULL SHOT - REAR AREA - (DAY) - (GLASS) This is December 24, 1944, in the first safe area directly behind the battle line, in the Italian theatre. In the distance occasional artillery light flashes are seen and artillery rumbles ar...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/White-Jazz.html
WHITE JAZZ Written by Matthew Michael Carnahan & Joe Carnahan 9/16/07 Based on the novel "White Jazz" by James Ellroy Legend: Recife, Brazil, 1983 1 INT. HILLSIDE VILLA - MORNING 1 Stare at my broken face in a gilded mirror. The breaks occurred a lifetime ago, healed uneven. I wear a white tropical button-down, ...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/White-Ribbon,-The.html
THE WHITE RIBBON Written by Michael Haneke 1. COVERED RIDING SCHOOL OF THE MANORIAL ESTATE INT/DAY MONTAGE OF CLOSE-SHOTS: 1 A man is riding a dressage horse. We can't see his face. Only his boots, spurs, whip, the taut reins, the horse's foamy mouth, the movements that steer the animal. We watch him for a while a...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/White-Squall.html
WHITE SQUALL by Todd Robinson Revised First Draft October 31, 1994 FADE IN: SUPER: A TRUE STORY - MYSTIC HARBOR CONNECTICUT 1994 CREDITS OVER Wind on the water. Soaring gulls and sand pipers glide over the pilings and sagging bulkheads. OLDER CHUCK (V.O.) Though I hadn't seen or spoken to Sheldrake in over thi...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Whiteout.html
WHITEOUT Written by Jon Hoeber & Erich Hoeber Based on the graphic novel by Greg Rucka December 22, 2006 SCROLL OVER BLACK: Antarctica. Six million square miles of ice. The coldest place on earth. Forty-six countries have competing claims and maintain outposts. The Antarctic Treaty holds these claims in check. ...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Wild-At-Heart.html
WILD AT HEART W I L D A T H E A R T a love story written by David Lynch based on the book by Barry Gifford And now the story of Sailor and Lula..... 1. EXT. CITY STREET - DAY A MAN rides a screaming massive Japanese motorcycle - wound out to maximum R.P.M. up the street. CUT TO: 2. SIGN BY ROADSIDE The sign re...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Wild-Bunch,-The.html
THE WILD BUNCH Written by Walon Green & Sam Peckinpah February 12th, 1968 1. FADE IN: OUTSKIRTS OF A SOUTH TEXAS RAILROAD YARD (SAN RAFAEL) A TRAIN ROARS PAST REVEALING IN THE DISTANCE FIVE MET RIDING TOWARD CAMERA along the tracks. In CLOSE F.G. is.the back part of a sign. NARRATOR To most of America in 1913, ...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Wild-Hogs.html
WILD HOGS Written by Brad Copeland FIRST DRAFT REVISED 7/06/05 FADE IN: INT. KITCHEN - MORNING ANGLE ON: BILLY MATTHEWS, 8, ravenously eating a plate of hashbrowns, runny fried eggs and syrupy waffles. WOMAN'S VOICE (O.C.) Doug?... We see DOUG MATTHEWS, 40's, sitting across the table, staring at his son, Billy....
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Wild-Things.html
"Wild Things", production draft, revised by Kem Nunn WILD THINGS by Stephen Peters rewrite by Kem Nunn MANDALAY ENTERTAINMENT January 21, 1997 1202 West Washington Blvd. Culver City, CA 90232 FADE IN: MAIN TITLE SEQUENCE -- BLACK INTERCUT -- QUICK FLASH-FORWARDS INSIDE A STEAMY SHOWER -- A wet naked woman and...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Wild-Things-Diamonds-in-the-Rough.html
WILD THINGS: DIAMONDS IN THE ROUGH Written by Andy Hurst & Ross Helford INT. MUSEUM - DAY A perfect rainbow is trapped inside two flawless DIAMONDS, glinting in the morning sun. Tounted on crushed velvet, the identical diamonds are on a glass covered pedal stool in the middle of a vast, marble MUSEUM HALL. The st...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Wild-Wild-West.html
Rev. 06/15/98 (Pink) Rev. 07/01/98 (Yellow) Rev. 08/28/98 (Green) Rev. 09/03/98 (Goldenrod) Rev. 10/07/98 (Buff) Rev. 04/09/99 (Salmon) WILD WILD WEST Story by Jim Thomas & John Thomas Screenplay by S.S. Wilson & Brent Maddock and Jeffrey Price & Peter S. Seaman Based on the Television Series "Wild Wild West" R...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Willow.html
WILLOW "WILLOW" Story by George Lucas Screenplay by Bob Dolman First Draft Third Revision November 14, 1986 (c) LFL 1986 Lucasfilm LTD. All Rights Reserved Act I FADE IN: EXT.. NOCKMAAR CASTLE - DAY Under gloomy sky a huge fortress looms on a volcanic mountainside. From within WE HEAR the agonizing scream of a...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Win-Win.html
WIN WIN Written by Tom McCarthy EXT. WATCHUNG RESERVATION - DAWN. It's a bitter cold January morning. The woods are quiet. Desolate. In the far off distance a man is jogging. He banks around the end of a small pond and runs right at us. This is MIKE FLAHERTY, FORTY-TWO. He is running hard. Or at least as hard as he...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Wind-Chill.html
WIND CHILL Written by Joseph Gangemi & Steven Katz 1 INT. UNIVERSITY LECTURE HALL - DAY 1 A GIRL'S FACE fills the screen, twenty-one years old, pensive, pretty. Camera lingers on her in CLOSE UP, noticing details: hair worn stylishly messy, no makeup, double-pierced ears (though no earrings today), the corner of ...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Withnail-and-I.html
Withnail and I Withnail and I Camden Town, London. 1969 The Flat. [A few shafts of sunlight sneak through the curtains and illuminate a sitting room. There are empty bottles everywhere. 'I', who is smoking a joint, gets up somewhat precariously and walks into a kitchen which is full of bottles and dirty washing up....
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Witness.html
WITNESS "WITNESS" by Earl W. Wallace William Kelley Pamela Wallace EXT. LANCASTER COUNTY, PA. COUNTRYSIDE – DAY TITLE SEQUENCE The faces of several young children are presented in CLOSEUP, as they walk TOWARD US across a ploughed field. On the SOUND TRACK, the haunting SOUNDS OF A GREGORIAN FUNERAL CHANT. The C...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Wizard-of-Oz,-The.html
FADE IN -- Title: For nearly forty years this story has given faithful service to the Young in Heart; and Time has been powerless to put its kindly philosophy out of fashion. To those of you who have been faithful to it in return ...and to the Young in Heart --- we dedicate this picture. FADE OUT: MS -- Dorothy st...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Wolf-of-Wall-Street,-The.html
THE WOLF OF WALL STREET Written by Terence Winter Based on the book by Jordan Belfort White Shooting Script - September 7th, 2012 Blue Revised Pages - September 25th, 2012 Pink Revised Pages - October 9th, 2012 Yellow Revised Pages - October 15th, 2012 Green Revised Pages - October 16th, 2012 Goldenrod Revised Pag...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Wonder-Boys.html
THE WONDER BOYS WONDER BOYS BASED ON THE NOVEL BY MICHAEL CHABON Screenplay/Steve Kloves January 21, 1999 (Pink Revision) January 15, 1999 (Blue Revision) December 18,1998 All IS A BLUR... ...then WORDS appear, twisting and vaguely transparent, reflected on the window GRADY TRIPP stands before as he reads from a ...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Wonder-Woman.html
WONDER WOMAN Screenplay by Allan Heinberg Story by Zack Snyder & Allan Heinberg and Jason Fuchs based on characters from DC Comics WONDER WOMAN created by William Moulton Marston FINAL SHOOTING SCRIPT FADE IN: 1 EXT. THE EARTH (FROM SPACE) 1 The EARTH as seen from space, perfect and seemingly serene. DIANA (...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Wonka.html
WONKA 1 1 EXT. OCEAN - DAY FADE UP on a cold, foggy sky. The only sounds are the lapping of the ocean waves and the distant tolling of a ship's bell. Then, chugging out of the thick mist, comes a 1940s TRAWLER. A strange figure wearing a bright green waistcoat and wildly colourful scarf climbs the mast. This is Will...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Woodsman,-The.html
THE WOODSMAN Based on the play by Steven Fechter Written by Steven Fechter & Nicole Kassell Winner 1st Prize 2001 Slamdance Screenplay Competition July 30, 2002 BEGIN TITLES - OPENING SEQUENCE MONTAGE Over black we HEAR the rhythmic sound of machinery. This sound will continue throughout the title sequence as o...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/World-is-not-Enough,-The.html
T H E W O R L D I S N O T E N O U G H (BOND 19) -------------------------------------------------------------- GUN BARREL LOGO OPENS ON GENEVA SWITZERLAND, an unnaturally clean city that melds old Europe with new money of both dubious and legitimate source. INT. HALLWAY OFFICE BUILDING - DAY An engraved brass pla...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Wrestler,-The.html
THE WRESTLER Written by Rob Siegel DRAFT 10/14/07 FADE IN: MUSIC: DEF LEPPARD - "ROCK ROCK (TILL YOU DROP)" Over OPENING CREDITS, a montage of OLD WRESTLING-MAGAZINE PHOTOS. Action shots of RANDY "THE RAM" ROBINSON taking on a keffiyeh-wearing heel named THE AYATOLLAH before 20,000 screaming fans at Madison Squar...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/X-Files-Fight-the-Future,-The.html
"The X Files", production draft, by Chris Carter X-FILES FIGHT THE FUTURE CHRIS CARTER 6/30/97 NOTE: THE HARD COPY OF THIS SCRIPT CONTAINED SCENE NUMBERS, AND SOME "SCENE OMITTED" SLUGS. THEY HAVE BEEN REMOVED FOR THIS SOFT COPY. FADE IN: EXT. SNOWSCAPE A BLINDING WHITE SCREEN, under which we hear an ominous low...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/X-Men-Origins-Wolverine.html
X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE Written by David Benioff & Skip Woods EXT. RURAL ROAD - DAY A two-lane road carves through an endless forest of towering black spruce. A flock of pintails skims over the treetops, heading south before the first snowfall. A young BOY (12), undersized and feral, trudges home, bookbag strapped...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/X-Men.html
"X-MEN" -- early draft by Ed Solomon, Chris McQuarrie, Tom DeSanto & Bryan Singer X-Men By Ed Solomon Revisions: Chris McQuarrie Tom DeSanto Bryan Singer February 24, 1999 BLACK Sounds of a train rolling to a halt, a shrill whistle. EXT. CAMP - DAY UP ON the door of a weathered cattle car as a German soldier s...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Year-One.html
YEAR ONE Written by Harold Ramis, Gene Stupnitsky & Lee Eisenberg October 18th, 2007 IN THE BEGINNING... 1 BLACK an infinite void but at the center a SINGULARITY, a particle infinitely small and infinitely dense that contains all the potential matter and energy in the universe. THE BIG BANG A blinding flash of li...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Yes-Man.html
YES MAN Written by Nicholas Stoller Based On the Book "The Yes Man" by Danny Wallace First Draft February 2, 2007 EXT. RUDY'S - NIGHT It's New Year's Eve at Rudy's, a hole-in-the-wall dive. People stream into the bar to celebrate. Outside, CARL KENDALL (30s) and his soon-to-be ex-girlfriend KATH are having a qui...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/You-Can-Count-On-Me.html
"YOU CAN COUNT ON ME" Screenplay by Kenneth Lonergan SHOOTING DRAFT 2000 FADE IN: INT./EXT. A CAR (MOVING). NIGHT The shifting lights from the odd passing car play over the faces of MR. and MRS. PRESCOTT, a pleasant-looking couple in their late thirties, dressed up for a night out. Mr. Prescott drives them along...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Youth-in-Revolt.html
YOUTH IN REVOLT Written by Gustin Nash July 13, 2007 OVER BLACK comes the sound of deep HEAVING BREATHS. Moist FLESH FLAPPING accompaniment. Someone is beating off. A pause as the someone turns the page of a magazine. The beating off resumes at a quickened pace. The SQUEAKING of bed springs joins in. Another page i...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Zebra-Girl.html
ZEBRA GIRL 1 EXT. CATHERINE AND DAN'S COUNTRYSIDE HOUSE - NIGHT An old grand house sits isolated in an idyllic rural setting. Fruit trees, shrubs and scented plants sway in the wind. A patio decked with wicker chairs stares out at the horizon. A low rumble of thunder in the distance underscores the NATURAL OUTDOOR S...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Zero-Dark-Thirty.html
ZERO DARK THIRTY Written by Mark Boal October 3rd, 2011 FROM BLACK, VOICES EMERGE-- We hear the actual recorded emergency calls made by World Trade Center office workers to police and fire departments after the planes struck on 9/11, just before the buildings collapsed. TITLE OVER: SEPTEMBER 11, 2001 We listen to ...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Zerophilia.html
ZEROPHILIA Written by Martin Curland Revised: March 1, 2004 1. FADE IN: EXT. WILDERNESS - NIGHT Mist. Dark trees. Dripping vines. An ENGINE RUMBLES in the distance. The full moon shimmers on a puddle. A FROG SPLATS IN, splashing a one man pup tent. INSIDE THE TENT LUKE's eyes pop open, disoriented, realizing ...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Zone-of-Interest,-The.html
THE ZONE OF INTEREST by Jonathan Glazer Based on the novel by Martin Amis © Jonathan Glazer 1 1 BLACK THERMAL NIGHT VISION: A musical overture begins. Inviting, descending. TITLE: The Zone of Interest. White letters. Gradually, the white letters fade as they cool, leaving us in blackness again as the music pla...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/Zootopia.html
ZOOTOPIA Written by Jared Bush & Phil Johnston Story by Byron Howard, Rich Moore, Jared Bush, Jim Reardon, Josie Trinidad, Phil Johnston and Jennifer Lee IN BLACK -- We hear the feral, primeval sounds of a jungle at night. A timpani bangs an ominous beat. FADE IN ON: A JUNGLE - NIGHT A BUNNY nervously walks thr...
https://imsdb.com/scripts/xXx.html
"xXx" by Rich Wilkes August 26, 2001 Third Draft FADE IN: EXT. PRAGUE - NIGHT On a hill above the city is an old CATHEDRAL. The night is spooky, with harsh shadows playing across the cobblestones and medieval walls. A NERVOUS YOUNG HACKER makes his way down an alley. There is a DOOR at the end of the alley. MU...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-Good-News,-Bad-News.html
GOOD NEWS, BAD NEWS Written by Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld (Comedy club) JERRY You know, why we're here? To be out, this is out...and out is one of the single most enjoyable experiences of life. People...did you ever hear people talking about "We should go out"? This is what they're talking about...this whole thin...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Stakeout.html
THE STAKEOUT Written by Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld (Opening comedy) JERRY So, I'm on line at the supermarket. Two women in front of me. One of them, her total was eight dollars, the other three dollars. They both of course choose to pay by the use of the (pause and gesture to audience for response) AUDIENCE C...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Robbery.html
THE ROBBERY Written by Matt Goldman (Comedy club) JERRY So I move into the centre lane, now I get ahead of this women, who felt for some reason I guess, that she thought that I cut her off. So, she pulls up along side of me, gives me... the finger. It seems like such an... arbitrary, ridiculous thing to just pi...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-Male-Unbonding.html
MALE UNBONDING Written by Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld (Nightclub) JERRY Most men like working on things, tools, objects, fixing things. This is what men enjoy doing. Have you ever noticed a guy's out in his driveway working on something with tools, how all the other men in the neighborhood are magnetically drawn ...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Stock-Tip.html
THE STOCK TIP Written by Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld (Nightclub) JERRY Went out to dinner the other night. Check came at the end of the meal, as it always does. Never liked the check at the end of the meal system, because money's a very different thing before and after you eat. Before you eat money has no value. ...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Ex-Girlfriend.html
THE EX-GIRLFRIEND Written by Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld (Nightclub) JERRY I'm always in traffic with the lane expert. You know this type of person? Constantly reevaluating their lane choice.. Never quite sure, "Is this the best lane for me? For my life?" They're always a little bit ahead of you, "Can I get in ov...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Pony-Remark.html
THE PONY REMARK Written by Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld (Night club) JERRY My parents live in Florida now. They moved there last year. They didn't want to move to Floriday, but they're in their sixties, and that's the law. You know how it works. They got the leisure police. They pull up in front of the old people'...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Jacket.html
THE JACKET Written by Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld (Night club) JERRY I hate clothes, okay? I hate buying them. I hate picking them out of my closet. I can't stand every day trying to come up with little outfits for myself. I think eventually fashion won't even exist. It won't. I think eventually we'll all be wear...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Phone-Message.html
THE PHONE MESSAGE Written by Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld (Comedy club) The bad thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. Did you ever see anybody on TV like just sliding off the front of the sofa with potato chip crumbs on their commercial p...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Apartment.html
THE APARTMENT Written by Peter Mehlman (Night club) JERRY Well, I painted my apartment again. I've been living in this apartment for years and years, and every time I paint it, it kinda gets me down. I look around, and I think, well, it's a little bit smaller now. You know, I realize it's just the thickness of the...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Statue.html
THE STATUE Written by Larry Charles (Night club) JERRY I have to tell you that I did some very exciting news recently, and I don't know if I should really tell you exactly what it is because it's really not a definite thing yet. Well, I will tell you what I know so far. According to the information that I have in t...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Revenge.html
THE REVENGE Written by Larry David LEVITAN Remind me to tell you what we did in Lake George. (laughing) Get this...I got it all on video. (laughing) GEORGE That's it. This is it. I'm done. Through. It's over. I'm gone. Finished. Over. I will never work for you again. Look at you. (laughing) You think you're an i...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Heart-Attack.html
THE HEART ATTACK Written by Larry Charles (Night club) JERRY You know, I tell ya, I gotta say that I'm enjoying adulthood. For a lot of reasons. And, I'll tell you reason number one: as an adult, if I want a cookie, I have a cookie, okay? I have three cookies or four cookies, or eleven cookies if I want. Many time...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Deal.html
THE DEAL Written by Larry David (Comedy club) JERRY I've been watching women in the department stores. They're trying on clothes, and I've noticed that they do it differently from men. Women don't try on the clothes, they get behind the clothes, you see? They take a dress off the rack, and they hold it up against t...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Baby-Shower.html
THE BABY SHOWER Written by Larry Charles (Night club) JERRY Men flip around the television more than women, I think. Men get that remote control in their hands, they don't even know what the hell they're watching. You know, we just keep going, "Rerun, don't wanna watch it.. " "What are you watching?" "I don't care...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Chinese-Restaurant.html
THE CHINESE RESTAURANT Written by Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld (Comedy club) JERRY (A couple of days ago I used a public phone), go over time on the call, hang up the phone, walk away. You've had this happen? Phone rings. It's the phone company... they want more money. Don't you love this? And you got them right...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Busboy.html
THE BUSBOY Written by Larry David & Jerry Seinfeld (Night club) JERRY I'm not a foodie. I don't, "Oh, this is too rare. Oh, it's too salty." Just eat it and shut up. I'll eat anywhere, whatever they're having. I have eaten rotten rolls off of room service trays in hotel hallways. I have. It's not a joke. This is m...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Note.html
THE NOTE Written by Larry David Every time somebody recommends a doctor, he's always the best. "Oh, is he good?" "Oh, he's the best. This guy's the best." They can't all be the best. There can't be this many bests. Someone's graduating at the bottom of these classes, where are these doctors? Is somewhere, someone s...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Truth.html
THE TRUTH Written by Elaine Pope & Larry Charles (Comedy club) Welcome everyone to the room...Ah, the extra button....yeah ... what kind of a sicko would save these ...have them in a huge file, drawers that wide (small fingers opening imaginary drawers) Where the hell is that ... I mean is it THAT hard to get round...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Pen.html
THE PEN Written by Larry David (Night club) JERRY I have never seen an old person in a new bathing suit in my life. I don't know where they get their bathing suits, but my father has bathing suits from other centuries. My parents live in Florida, and if you go down there and you forget your bathing suits then they ...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Dog.html
THE DOG Written by Larry David (Comedy club) So I'm on the plane, we left late. Pilot says we're going to be making up some time in the air. I thought, well isn't that interesting. We'll just make up time. That's why you have to reset your watch when you land. Of course, when they say they're making up time, obv...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Library.html
THE LIBRARY Written by Larry Charles (JERRY'S APARTMENT) JERRY Let me speak with the head librarian. ... Because it's absurd. An overdue book from 1971? ... This is a joke right? What are you? From a radio station? KRAMER enters JERRY Ya' got me I fell for it. Alright, OK I can be down there in like a half hour....
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Parking-Garage.html
THE PARKING GARAGE Written by Larry David INT. ESCALATOR - GOING DOWN TO A GARAGE. IN SINGLE FILE GEORGE, JERRY and ELAINE, WHO'S CARRYING A PLASTIC BAG WITH GOLDFISH, AND KRAMER WHO'S HAVING A ROUGH TIME WITH A LARGE, HEAVY BOX. GEORGE One left...what a joke. KRAMER You can have this one. GEORGE No, that's not ...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Cafe.html
THE CAFE Written by Tom Leopold (Comedy club) There's always that one location, one store location that's constantly changing hands. Everybody has this in their neighborhood, it's a leather store, it's a yogurt shop, it's a pet supply. It's constantly changing and nobody can do business there. It's like some sort o...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Tape.html
THE TAPE Written by Larry David, Bob Shaw & Don McEnery (Comedy club) JERRY ....hair that was on your shower soap today could be in your head tomorrow. How did they do the first transplant? Did they have the guy take a shower, get his soap, rush it in there by helicopter, you know keep the soap alive on the soap ...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Nose-Job.html
THE NOSE JOB Written by Peter Mehlman (Comedy club) Can you give me an explanation as to why the pharmacist has to be two-and-a-half feet up above everybody else? What the hell is he doing, he can't be down there on the floor with you and me? Brain surgeons, airline pilots, nuclear physicists, we're all on the s...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Stranded.html
THE STRANDED Written by Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld & Matt Goldman (Comedy club) So I was in the drug store the other day, trying to get a cold medication. You ever try and pick one of these out? It's not easy. It's a wall. It's an entire wall of cold medication, you stand there, you're going, "Alright, alright,...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Alternate-Side.html
THE ALTERNATE SIDE Written by Larry David & Bill Masters (Comedy club) Seems to me the way they design the car alarm is so that the car will behave as if it was a nervous hysterical person. Anyone goes near it, anyone disturbs it, it's aaaaaahhhhhhh! Lights flashing on and off, acting all crazy. Not everybody wa...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Red-Dot.html
THE RED DOT Written by Larry David (Comedy club) JERRY I'm sorry it's gotta be a little bit of a scary place to work. I don't know how you feel about it. You want to be standing there having people comming in all day going "I need knives. I need more knives. Do you have any bigger knives? I'd like a bigger knife, a...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Subway.html
THE SUBWAY Written by Larry Charles (Monk's Cafe, the whole gang at a booth) KRAMER All right, Coney Island. Ok, you can take the B or the F and switch for the N at Broadway Lafayette, or you can go over the bridge to DeKalb and catch the Q to Atlantic Avenue, then switch to the IRT 2, 3, 4 or 5, but don't get o...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Pez-Dispenser.html
THE PEZ DISPENSER Written by Larry David (Jerry's Apartment) GEORGE ...pianist. A classical pianist. She plays the piano. She's a brilliant woman. I-I-I sat in her living room... She played the Waldstein Sonata! The Waldstein! GEORGE We did a crossword puzzle together, in bed. It was the most fun I ever had in ...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Suicide.html
THE SUICIDE Written by Tom Leopold (Comedy club) The thing I don't understand about the suicide person is the people who try and commit suicide for some reason they don't die and that's it. They stop trying. Why? Why don't they just keep trying? What has changed? Is their life any better now? No. In fact it's worse...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Fix-Up.html
THE FIX-UP Written by Larry Charles & Elaine Pope (Comedy club) I tell ya, I never really understood the importance of the conductor. I mean between you and me, what the hell is this guy doing? Do you really need somebody waving a stick in your face to play the violin? Does that really help you out? I could see ...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Boyfriend-Part-1.html
THE BOYFRIEND PT 1 Written by Larry David & Larry Levin (Comedy club) To me, going to the health club, you see all these people and they're working out, and they're training and they're getting in shape but the strange thing is nobody is really getting in shape for anything. The only reason that you're getting i...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Boyfriend-Part-2.html
THE BOYFRIEND PT 2 Written by Larry David & Larry Levin (New York State department of Labor) MRS. SOKOL Just sign here please. GEORGE I know who it was too. It was the guy who interviewed me. He was very threatened by me. Why else wouldn't he hire me? I could sell latex like that (snaps fingers). MRS. SOKOL Sig...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Limo.html
THE LIMO Written by Larry Charles (Comedy club) Do you think that the people at the airport that run the stores have any idea what the prices are every place else in the world? Or do you think they just feel they have their own little country out there and they can charge anything they want? You're hungry? Tuna ...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Good-Samaritan.html
THE GOOD SAMARITAN Written by Peter Mehlman (Jerry is driving alone talking on his car phone to Elaine at home in her bed) ELAINE You know it's bad enough you have a car phone, you have to use the speaker? JERRY It's safer! Plus it's more annoying to the other person. (Driver cuts in front of Jerry) JERRY Oh l...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Letter.html
THE LETTER Written by Larry David (Nina's art studio. Kramer is posing for Nina (Jerry's current girlfriend.) NINA (laughing) Kramer, would you hold still? I can't do this if you keep moving. KRAMER You sure you don't want me to take my clothes off? (beat) I'll do it! NINA No, that's the last thing in the world ...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Parking-Space.html
THE PARKING SPACE Written by Larry David & Greg Daniels (Comedy club) At parking lots now they have these 'compact car only' spots, isn't that discrimination against the size of your car? If I want my ass hanging out of the back of my parking spot, that's my business. There are people out there with real asses h...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Keys.html
THE KEYS Written by Larry Charles (Comedy club) So, I fly a lot. I like planes. I was on a plane the other day and I was wondering - are there keys to the plane? Do they need keys to start the plane? Maybe that's what those delays on the ground are sometimes. When you're just sitting there at the gate, maybe the pi...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Trip-Part-1.html
THE TRIP PART 1 Written by Larry Charles (George and Jerry enter Monk's Coffee Shop) GEORGE Kramer was on Murphy Brown? JERRY Yeah. GEORGE Are you sure? JERRY Yeah. GEORGE Murphy Brown, the TV show. JERRY C'mon, will ya? GEORGE Kramer was on Murphy Brown? That son of a gun! JERRY Something, isn't it? GEORGE...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Trip-Part-2.html
THE TRIP PART 2 Written by Larry Charles (Comedy club) There are many different job in the police. It seems to me, that the chalk outline guy is one of the better jobs that you can get. You know it's not dangerous, the criminals are long gone, that seems like a good one. I don't know who they are, I guess they're p...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Pitch.html
THE PITCH Written by Larry David (At club bar) Jerry and George are talking. Stu and Jay enter. STU Excuse me, Jerry? I'm Stu Chermak. I'm with NBC. JERRY Hi. STU Could we speak for a few moments? JERRY Sure. JAY Hi, Jay Crespi. JERRY Hello. GEORGE Uh, C-R-E-S-P-I? JAY That's right. GEORGE I'm unbelievable...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Ticket.html
THE TICKET Written by Larry David (Jerry's apartment) (Enter Kramer with one pant leg on) JERRY Where the hell did I put this? KRAMER What are you looking for? JERRY The remote, the remote, I can't find the remote. Did I lost, I lost it. Did you take it? Did you put it some place? KRAMER No, no, no. (Jerry not...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Wallet.html
THE WALLET Written by Larry David (Comedy club) Don't you hate "to be continued" on TV. It's horrible when you sense the "to be continued" coming. You know, you're watching the show. You're into the story. There's like five minutes left and suddenly you realize, "Hey, they can't make it." Timmy's still stuck in the...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Watch.html
THE WATCH Written by Larry David (Comedy club) JERRY It's an entire industry of bad gifts, aren't they? All those executive gifts, any stupid, goofy, brass, wood thing, they put a piece of green felt on the bottom. "It's a golf, desk, tie and stress organiser, dad." But to me, nothing compares with the paperweig...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Bubble-Boy.html
THE BUBBLE BOY Written by Larry David & Larry Charles (Jerry and Naomi enter Jerry's apartment) JERRY Well this is it. NAOMI This is nice. Thanks again for the Chinese food. JERRY Oh, you're welcome. You know I think I ate too much of that garlic. NAOMI Yeah, me too, JERRY No, I ate the whole plate. I didn't kn...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Cheever-Letters.html
THE CHEEVER LETTERS Written by Larry David (Jerry's apartment) (Jerry and George enter with some plastic bags) JERRY She hasn't told her father yet? GEORGE No. We're supposed to tell him tonight. JERRY "We're"? What do you mean, "We're"? GEORGE Susan wants me to be there. JERRY You're meetin' the father for th...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Opera.html
THE OPERA Written by Larry Charles (Comedy club) The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all the same, so we might as well dress them that way. That's why a wedding is like the joining together of a beautiful glowing bride, and some guy. The tuxedo is a wedding safety device created ...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Virgin.html
THE VIRGIN Written by Peter Mehlman (Jerry and George talking near a bar.) JERRY We're dead. GEORGE We're not dead. JERRY We are dead. GEORGE Come on. We got all day tomorrow to come up with a story. JERRY All day tomorrow? We had a month and a half to come up with something and we didn't do anything. GEORGE S...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Contest.html
THE CONTEST Written by Larry David (Monk's Coffee shop) (Jerry and Kramer are sitting opposite Elaine at a booth, eating lunch) JERRY (To Elaine) Let me ask you a question. ELAINE Mm-hm. JERRY You're a hostage, captured by terrorists- ELAINE (Smiling, chewing) Who, me? JERRY You, anybody - whatever. You're in ...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Airport.html
THE AIRPORT Written by Larry Charles (Comedy club) JERRY ...cramped seat, working on a tiny computer; there's always a small problem "There'll be a slight delay, we'll be a *little* late, if you could be a *little* *patient*! We're just trying to get one of those *little* trucks to pull us up just a *little* closer...
https://imsdb.com/transcripts/Seinfeld-The-Pick.html
THE PICK Written by Larry David (Jerry's Apartment) GEORGE I loved her Jerry, I loved her. JERRY No, you didn't. GEORGE And she loved me. Hoo, ho, she really did. JERRY No she didn't. GEORGE What am I going to do now? I can't live without Susan. I gotta get her back. How? How, am I gonna get her back? ELAINE (...