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Managers I originally published a version of this essay in September 2018. Enjoy. Read time : 6 minutes As much as we don’t want to shoot the messenger, we often associate negative feelings with people who tell us bad news. Work is hard enough as is. You don’t need that negativity associated with you, especially if a s... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.381 | 0.87 | ["management"] | 479 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.498119 | [
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nd were waiting to hear back from a major client. The client tells you that another company out-bid you with a lower quote. Now, you have to tell your colleague that they have to re-submit a bid. You feel terrible because they put a lot of work into the bid. You could have set better expectations, so you’re feeling a l... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.347 | 0.878 | [] | 477 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.498243 | [
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ng overly negative in the email to his colleague. We fixed it, but it’s a valuable lesson for anyone who’s had to share negative news at work (which is all of us at some point). If you have to deliver bad news that wasn’t your fault, keep these principles in mind: Welcome or welcome back to my newsletter. Delivering ba... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.387 | 0.892 | ["war_conflict"] | 512 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.498307 | [
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nds-on practice, check out my course, Executive Communication & Influence for Senior ICs and Managers . You’ll learn alongside mid-career operators from organizations like Netflix, Uber, Zillow, Grammarly, Meta, Square, Amazon, Spotify, etc. → Save your spot 1. Avoid negative words, like "however” and “unfortunately.” ... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.472 | 0.824 | ["communication", "management", "decision_making", "career"] | 420 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.498399 | [
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ce's perception, for the better or for the worse. According to George Lakoff, a professor in cognitive science and linguistics at University of California, Berkeley, you should use language that evokes imagery and strengthens your point . You should especially be careful about using negative words that could lead your ... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.326 | 0.86 | ["education"] | 511 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.498500 | [
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rm messages through the brain, and they partially shut down the logic-and-reasoning centers located in the frontal lobes.” There's rarely a need for unfortunately , and other heavy-sounding words. It makes everything sound more dramatic than it needs to be. Your goal is to minimize drama. More about why to avoid incept... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.526 | 0.72 | ["philosophy"] | 510 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.498557 | [
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e person will understand and absolve us of guilt. Don’t give in to the temptation to explain everything in excruciating detail . First, it’s selfish: you’re only doing it to make yourself feel better. Second, it complicates the actual message. Recipients won’t know when the facts end and your own narrative begins. Thir... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.385 | 0.86 | ["decision_making", "philosophy"] | 464 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.498750 | [
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y information they need to make a smart decision. If they have additional questions , they’ll ask. This opens up dialogue instead of overwhelming them. If you’re enjoying this, join 50,000+ tech operators & subscribe (it’s free) 3. Don't accidentally accept blame. Obviously, if you’re responsible or even partially resp... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.392 | 0.858 | ["decision_making", "education", "philosophy"] | 512 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.498834 | [
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and accepting fault (“I should have done X and Y, but I didn’t.”). As the messenger, there’s no point in inviting your audience’s wrath for no reason. When you review your message, ask yourself: “Would my recipient accidentally think I’m admitting fault based on my phrasing and word choice?” An upset colleague or manag... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.367 | 0.87 | ["management", "decision_making", "philosophy"] | 511 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.498908 | [
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dience’s negative perceptions, even if they were inaccurate and misplaced to begin with. You’re essentially inviting them to project onto you. This erodes trust in your working relationships and tarnishes your credibility. If it happens too many times, it could stall your career because you’re associated with failed pr... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.418 | 0.868 | ["networking", "career", "interview", "war_conflict"] | 512 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.498980 | [
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hen they go to work for us: One is to think like an owner . And the second is to tell us bad news immediately—because good news takes care of itself. We can take bad news, but we don't like it late.” Contrary to what you might think, adding too much preface makes things worse. The tension builds and the person is imagi... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.448 | 0.878 | [] | 499 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.499026 | [
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ios to the most extreme and negative conclusion . When your audience finally hears the bad news, they might think, “Oh, that wasn't so bad.” Even though they got a pleasant surprise, relatively speaking, they just spent several minutes letting their imagination spiral into catastrophe. That’s cruel of you to let happen... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.33 | 0.858 | ["communication"] | 447 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.499075 | [
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o know. 5. Remind the person of their own agency. In a speech at USC Business School in 1994, Charlie Munger said, "If people tell you what you really don't want to hear—what's unpleasant—there's an almost automatic reaction of antipathy." When people get bad news, they want to blame someone for their frustration—don't... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.528 | 0.866 | ["education", "rhetoric"] | 491 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.499142 | [
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ce that they were involved in the situation, too. Chances are, they had a role to play in what happened. Reminding people of their agency can be useful here. Behavioral economics research shows that when people remember they have the freedom to choose what to do, it encourages them to behave more generously. Applied to... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.387 | 0.874 | ["decision_making", "war_conflict", "social_justice"] | 501 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.499191 | [
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anyway: You both knew the result might not work. You’re on the same team and working toward the same goal. You want to figure out together what to do going forward. Of course, put a soft wrapper around your message because a sarcastic remark won’t land well. 🚫 “We both knew this might not work. Don't act so surprised ... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.342 | 0.874 | ["war_conflict", "management", "decision_making", "salary"] | 451 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.499244 | [
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d. We decided to pursue it given the high payoff. At this point, if we choose to continue in the process, we could submit another proposal. I know it takes a lot of effort on your part, so it might or might not be worth the time. I can discuss with my team, too. Thanks for working on this together. Let’s check in on th... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.409 | 0.88 | ["communication", "management", "decision_making", "salary"] | 479 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.499321 | [
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responsible, you should proactively address that. These principles are for times when you're simply a messenger—and just as surprised by the news as your recipient is. In situations like these, use the principles above to protect yourself and help your recipient understand with minimal drama. To stay in Wes Kao’s Newsl... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.335 | 0.858 | ["communication"] | 494 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.499505 | [
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e framed the news differently when you shared it? Hit reply because I’d love to hear from you. Thanks for being here, and I’ll see you next Wednesday at 8am ET. Wes PS Here are more ways to connect: Follow me on Twitter or LinkedIn for insights during the week (free). Check my availability to do a keynote for your team... | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.35 | 0.868 | ["management"] | 476 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.499575 | [
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s funded by Sequoia, Accel, Kleiner Perkins, etc. Sell your ideas, manage up, gain buy-in, and increase your impact in my 2-day intensive course. September and October cohorts are sold out. Save your spot for December cohort → Executive Communication & Influence for Senior ICs and Managers 108 3 6 Share Previous Next | https://newsletter.weskao.com/p/delivering-bad-news-thats-not-your-fault | How to deliver bad news when it's not your fault | newsletter.weskao.com | unknown | false | 0.551 | 0.806 | ["communication", "management"] | 318 | Managing Up Lateral Relationships | topic | 2026-04-14T22:06:15.499656 | [
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