Unnamed: 0 int64 0 9.62k | episode no. int64 1 51 | speaker stringclasses 976
values | dialouge stringlengths 1 1.81k |
|---|---|---|---|
1,300 | 5 | Morty | I just killed my family! I don't care what they were! |
1,301 | 5 | Rick | I dunno, Morty. Some people would pay top dollar for that kinda breakthrough. |
1,302 | 5 | Morty | Y-You know what, Rick? That's it! I-I'm done with these...insane adventures! That was really traumatizing! I quit! I'm out! |
1,303 | 5 | Rick | Whoa whoa whoa, grabs Morty's shoulder, stopping him come on, Morty! D-D-Don't be like that! The universe is a crazy and chaotic place! |
1,304 | 5 | Morty |
pushes Rick's hands away You're the one that's crazy and chaotic! Adventures are supposed to be simple! And fun! |
1,305 | 5 | Rick | Oh yeah, Morty. Yeah, t-t-that- that's real easy to say from the sidekick position. But—But, uh, h-how about next time you be in charge, then we'll talk about how simple and fun it is. |
1,306 | 5 | Morty |
suddenly excited Seriously Rick?! Y-You'll let me call the shots? |
1,307 | 5 | Rick | Okay, fine. But let's make it interesting, Morty. I-I-If your adventure sucks, and we bail halfway through it, you lose the right to bitch about all future adventures. Plus, you have to do my laundry for a month. |
1,308 | 5 | Morty | Okay, all right, tough guy! But if my adventure's good... I get to be in charge of every third adventure! |
1,309 | 5 | Rick | Every 10th. |
1,310 | 5 | Morty | Deal. All right. Well, come on, let's get going. |
1,311 | 5 | Beth | Dad, the dishwasher's doing that thing again. |
1,312 | 5 | Rick | Washing dishes? |
1,313 | 5 | Beth | No. The opposite. Can you fix it? |
1,314 | 5 | Summer | Grandpa Rick, can you help me with my science homework? |
1,315 | 5 | Rick | Yeah just don't do it. |
1,316 | 5 | Summer | Grandpa! |
1,317 | 5 | Jerry | Hey, Rick, you got some kind of hand-shaped device that can open this mayonnaise jar? |
1,318 | 5 | Rick | Wow. Hat trick. All right, Morty, let's put a pin in this. I got to help your pathetic family. |
1,319 | 5 | Morty | Oh, that sounds like something a chicken would say. Bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk, bawk. |
1,320 | 5 | Rick | Oh, Morty, you done did it this time. It's on. I can't wait to watch your adventure lay a huge fart. As for you dingdongs... This is a Meeseeks box. Let me show you how it works. You press this. |
1,321 | 5 | Meeseeks | I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me! |
1,322 | 5 | Rick | You make a request. Mr. Meeseeks, open Jerry's stupid mayonnaise jar. |
1,323 | 5 | Meeseeks | Yes, siree! |
1,324 | 5 | Rick | The Meeseeks fulfills the request. |
1,325 | 5 | Meeseeks | All done! |
1,326 | 5 | Jerry |
amazed Wow! |
1,327 | 5 | Rick | And then it stops existing. |
1,328 | 5 | Summer | Oh, my God, he exploded! |
1,329 | 5 | Rick | Trust me, they're fine with it. Knock yourselves out just keep your requests simple. They're not gods. |
1,330 | 5 | Morty | All right! Get out of here now! Everybody out of here! I got a bet to win! |
1,331 | 5 | Beth | So many possibilities. |
1,332 | 5 | Summer | My mind is racing. |
1,333 | 5 | Jerry | If we're gonna use this thing, which I'm not even sure we should, we need to keep it simple. |
1,334 | 5 | Meeseeks | I'm Mr. Meeseeks! |
1,335 | 5 | Summer | I want to be popular at school! |
1,336 | 5 | Meeseeks | Ooh, okay! |
1,337 | 5 | Jerry | Summer, what did I just- |
1,338 | 5 | Meeseeks 2 | Ooh, I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me! |
1,339 | 5 | Beth | I want I want to be a more complete woman! |
1,340 | 5 | Jerry | Beth! |
1,341 | 5 | Meeseeks 2 | Oh, yeah! Yes, ma'am! |
1,342 | 5 | Jerry | You guys are doing it wrong. He said "simple." |
1,343 | 5 | Meeseeks 3 | Hey, there. I'm Mr. Meeseeks! |
1,344 | 5 | Jerry | Mr. Meeseeks, I would like to take two strokes off my golf game. |
1,345 | 5 | Meeseeks 3 | Ooh, yeah! Can do! |
1,346 | 5 | Jerry | Nailed it. |
1,347 | 5 | Rick | God, Morty, what a boring start to an adventure. Why didn't we just go to Kentucky? |
1,348 | 5 | Morty | Rick, this is a fantasy-type world with creatures and all sorts of fantasy things. We're going on a quest, okay? |
1,349 | 5 | Rick | Can't wait. |
1,350 | 5 | Morty | Ahem. Excuse me! We are two humble heroes in search of adventure! |
1,351 | 5 | Rick | Oh, my God, so embarrassing. |
1,352 | 5 | Villager man | At last! Two heroes! You must help us! This village is terribly poor, yet the giant that lives in the clouds above has untold treasures! |
1,353 | 5 | Morty | You know what? I accept your call to adventure, good sir, kind sir. Come on, Rick. There's a giant in the clouds! |
1,354 | 5 | Rick | Yeah. Beginner's luck. |
1,355 | 5 | Meeseeks 1 | In conclusion, a friendship with Summer Smith is the most valuable and enriching experience of your young lives. I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me! Thank you! |
1,356 | 5 | Principal Gene V. | Uh, Mr. Meeseeks, was it? Yeah. Gene Vagina. Listen, I'm in a bit of custody thing with my ex and was wondering- Meeseeks 1 stops existing- No, I'll get your info from Summer. |
1,357 | 5 | Beth | I got pregnant at 17. I mean, I still put myself through veterinary school. Yes, I'm successful, but what if I hadn't...-Meeseeks 2 stares attentively- I'm just saying, somewhere along the way, I lost that wide-eyed girl from muskegon. |
1,358 | 5 | Meeseeks 2 | She's still there, Beth. |
1,359 | 5 | Beth | Well, her waistline isn't. |
1,360 | 5 | Meeseeks 2 | Beth, having a family doesn't mean that you stop being an individual. You know the best thing you can do for people that depend on you? Be honest with them, even if it means setting them free. |
1,361 | 5 | Beth | You're saying I should leave Jerry. Beth starts to cry I can't believe I'm finally having this conversation. |
1,362 | 5 | Waiter man | More wine? |
1,363 | 5 | Beth | I think I've had enough. |
1,364 | 5 | Meeseeks 3 | Remember to square your shoulders, Jerry. |
1,365 | 5 | Jerry | Yeah, yeah. I got it. |
1,366 | 5 | Meeseeks 3 | That's okay. I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me! Try again and keep your head down. |
1,367 | 5 | Jerry | Okay, well, which is it? Square my shoulders or keep my head down? |
1,368 | 5 | Meeseeks 3 | Well, it's both. But most importantly, you got to relax. |
1,369 | 5 | Jerry | You know what, Mr. Meeseeks? I don't think this is working. I give up. |
1,370 | 5 | Meeseeks 3 | I'm sorry, Jerry, but it doesn't work like that. I'm Mr. Meeseeks. I have to fulfill my purpose so I can go away. Look at me. |
1,371 | 5 | Jerry | Well, make yourself comfortable, because I suck. |
1,372 | 5 | Meeseeks 3 | No, Jerry, I'm the one who SUCKS! Let me try something. |
1,373 | 5 | Meeseeks 4 | I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me! |
1,374 | 5 | Meeseeks 3 | Hi, Mr. Meeseeks! I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me. |
1,375 | 5 | Meeseeks 4 | Hi! |
1,376 | 5 | Meeseeks 3 | Can you help me get two strokes off of Jerry's golf swing? |
1,377 | 5 | Meeseeks 4 | Can do! I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Is he keeping his shoulders squared? |
1,378 | 5 | Meeseeks 3 | Ooh, he's trying! |
1,379 | 5 | Rick | All right, Morty. We're in your stupid giant's castle. What do we do next? |
1,380 | 5 | Morty | Would you just relax, Rick? All we got to do is find the treasure room, okay? It's nice and simple. You know, I'm sorry everything's going so smoothly and adventurously. |
1,381 | 5 | Rick |
sarcasticUh-oh, Morty. Startin' to get a little hairy. What do you want to do, boss? |
1,382 | 5 | Morty | Come on, hurry. Behind this cookie jar. |
1,383 | 5 | Giant | Fee! Fi! Fo! Fum! |
1,384 | 5 | Rick | Just give up, Morty. This is game over. I'll take us home right now. You just say the word. |
1,385 | 5 | Morty | No way, Rick. This is all part of it. Adventures have conflict. Deal with it. |
1,386 | 5 | Giant | I smell the blood of- whoop!the giant falls and cracks his head open on the table corner before hitting the ground
|
1,387 | 5 | Morty | Holy crap. |
1,388 | 5 | Rick | Oh, boy. He looks pretty bad down there, Morty. Looks like he's bleeding out. |
1,389 | 5 | Giant woman | Oh, Jesus! Dale! You sons of bitches! Oh, man. Hello, 911? My husband has been attacked by tiny people! He's dying! |
1,390 | 5 | Detective | Hey, look, we get it. You're little, you're down on your luck, you think, "hey, he's a giant. Why don't we break into his home, rob him, and murder him?" |
1,391 | 5 | Morty | Th-th but that's not how it went down! |
1,392 | 5 | Detective | Oh, well, it's going down like that. You're both going down like that. |
1,393 | 5 | Rick | Ooh, boy, Morty, you're really showing me how it's done. Real straightforward and fun. |
1,394 | 5 | Summer | Like, letting go of the need to be popular is what makes people like you. |
1,395 | 5 | Beth | The most important love you can receive is from yourself. |
1,396 | 5 | Meeseek | Okay, Jerry, you got to just choke up on the club! |
1,397 | 5 | Jerry | Well, which is it, choke up or follow-through?! |
1,398 | 5 | Meeseek | Aww, come on, Jerry, we've been over this. You know you got to do both! This is as frustrating for us as it is for you. |
1,399 | 5 | Jerry | Don't tell me that! That just puts pressure on me! |
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