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Prarabdha
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Rick_and_Morty_Transcript

Dataset card Data Studio Files
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1,600
6
Brad:
(infected) Aw man, Morty, ugh, I'm really sorry.
1,601
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Morty:
Oh, well, no problem Brad.
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Brad:
(hugs Morty)(infected) There's somethin' special bout you, somethin' special. (squeezes Morty's butt and back)
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6
Morty:
(pushes Brad away) Whoa, take it easy!
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Jessica:
(grabs Morty's left arm)(infected) GET YOUR HANDS OFF OF HIM!
1,605
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Brad:
(grabs Morty's right arm)(infected) BACK OFF I'M TRYING TO BE WITH MY MAN!
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6
Principal Vagina:
(Stops the fight, pulling Brad back, aided with Mr. Goldenfold) That's enough Bradley. We don't want you injuring your ball-throwing arm.
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Brad:
(disappointment)(infected) Oh, Principal Vagina.
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Jessica:
(infected) Never leave me, Morty, NEVER.
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Morty:
(confused) Uh, sure. I mean, of course not. What do you think that was all about?
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Jessica:
(infected) Who cares? Just hold me.
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Brad:
(infected) LET ME GO!!! I LOVE YOU MORTY! *sneeze, sneeze* (exits the gym)
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Jerry:
(V.O.) She's gonna be alone with that guy all night.
1,613
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Summer:
Yeah, Dad, digging around the inside of horses. It's not a very romantic setting.
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Alien:
That is multiphase quantum resonator,
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Rick:
Well, does it defraculate?
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Alien:
Fuck no.
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Rick:
Then -- then -- then it's a broken defraculator,
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Alien:
Like you would even know dick about fraculation! Your planet just got cellphones, and the coverage still sucks!
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Rick:
Yeah, yeah, and your species eat sulfur, So, let's say 60 smidgens, I tell you what -- I'll do you a favor, I'll throw in a fart,
1,620
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Morty:
Hey, uh, Rick, um, you think maybe I could get something from this place, like a souvenir, like, just to have ---like, something cool, you know?
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Rick:
Not here, Morty, We'll stop somewhere else, because, you know, there's always another pawn shop,
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Morty:
Oh, okay,
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Rick:
Oh, it looks cool, huh?
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Morty:
Yeah! You know, I mean, it's different from the stuff on earth, and, you know, you take me to all these crazy places across the galaxy, and, you know,
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Rick:
Okay, 60 for the resonator, and my grandson wants the sex robot.
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Summer:
So, we're just going to pretend this isn't happening?
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Jerry:
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Rick:
I don't know,
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Morty:
Whew!
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Jerry:
Well, I'm intervening.
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Beth:
Intervening with puberty?
1,632
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Summer:
Jesus, Did I really set the bar that low?
1,633
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Morty:
Um, Rick, could you come with me, please -- q-quickly?
1,634
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Rick:
1,635
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Morty:
That is Gwendolyn --
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Jerry:
What is going on?
1,637
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Rick:
All right, Uh-oh,
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Beth:
"Uh-oh"? What is that?!
1,639
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Rick:
Hmm, I think Morty's robot was designed for more than long weekends,
1,640
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Summer:
Grandpa Rick, no, no!
1,641
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Jerry:
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
1,642
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Beth:
Dad, What do you think you're doing?!
1,643
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Rick:
Hey, listen -- you guys quarantined the house when Summer brought olives back from Mexico,
1,644
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Rick:
Don't name it,
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Morty:
,,,
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Rick:
Oh, crap he named it.
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Beth:
Well, dad, it's a living thing, and it's half human,
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Jerry:
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Beth:
Jerry, majoring in civics was your mistake,
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Rick:
Fine, I'm gonna take this thing to my workshop and do a little bit of investigating,
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Jerry:
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Rick:
Yeah, Good one, Jerry,
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Morty:
Ohh,
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Beth:
They always do,
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Jerry:
Hey, uh, 1995 called!
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Beth:
Why, Jerry?
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Jerry:
Life is effort, and I'll stop when I die!
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Rick:
Well, I can't solve the problem my way, thanks to your family's primitive biological hang-ups,
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Summer
: Oh, right -- because there's something about having a wiener that would make me better at walking through a hole?
1,660
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Rick:
Oh, crap,
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Summer:
Grandpa Rick! Ugh!
1,662
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Summer:
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
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Summer:
[ Gasps ]
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Rick:
Great, now I have to take over a whole planet because of your stupid boobs.
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Jerry:
You're doing great Morty,
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Morty:
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Beth:
Then you put it down and let it cry itself out,
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Jerry:
Yeah, right,
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Beth:
Stop filling it with your own insecurity,
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Jerry:
Well, we can't all be raised like reptiles by a mentally ill scientist,
1,671
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Jerry:
What the -- aah! Aah!
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Beth:
Listen to me,
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Morty:
Knock it off, both of you!
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Jerry:
Oh, you are going to ruin that kid, Morty,
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Beth:
At least we can agree on that.
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Rick:
Thanks, dum-dum,
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Rick:
1,678
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Summer:
That burka is a human-rights violation, and I spent a lot on this top,
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Rick:
Look, I'm trying to repair a p-portal gun with a bunch of sex-doll parts, and I have to do it one-handed to keep these belushis from carting you off,
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Summer:
Ugh, What's the deal with this place?
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Rick:
Obviously, at some point, the Gazorpians became so evolved that they replaced females with birthing machines,
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Summer:
You think it's efficient to get rid of women?
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Rick:
You ever see a line for the men's room?
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Rick:
The plot thickens,
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Rick:
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Rick:
Aaaah!
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Summer:
Grandpa Rick, where are we going?
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Summer:
[ Gasps ]
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Rick:
Oh, there -- there we go, Summer,
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Gazorpian:
Silence!
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Gazorpian:
Your slave is ill-mannered,
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Summer:
My slave?
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Gazorpian:
We assume you are from a more primitive world, where men are still permitted to be servants,
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Rick:
[ Chokes ]
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Morty:
Oh, Morty Jr,! you're gonna be a special little guy, aren't you?
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Morty Jr:
Da,
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Morty Jr:
Death!
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Morty:
"Dada,"
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Morty Jr:
Damnation!