Prarabdha/Rick_and_Morty_Transcript · Datasets at Hugging Face

Unnamed: 0 int64 0 9.62k	episode no. int64 1 51	speaker stringclasses 976 values	dialouge stringlengths 1 1.81k
6,800	27	Rick	(Walks up to Morty and Jessica)
6,801	27	Morty	Happy to help, Rick.
6,802	27	Rick	I hate to bug you with this, but after our morning hike I started receiving very faint, highly unusual transmissions on my sub ether phone. Listen.
6,803	27	Morty	It’s a bad phone. Chuck it. I downgraded to a clamshell for emergencies only. You know, if if if something’s worth saying, I-it’s worth eye contact.
6,804	27	Rick	Uh, I-I-I traced the source of the call back to the spa we went to, Morty. I thought I could hear a voice in there, so I enhanced it, a-and listen.
6,805	27	Toxic Rick	Hey, asshole!
6,806	27	Toxic Morty	Oh, man!
6,807	27	Toxic Rick	Remember us?
6,808	27	Toxic Morty	Oh, I don’t like confrontation!
6,809	27	Toxic Rick	You fucked us, you pieces of garbage! That’s right, you’re fucking garbage, not us. I’m a fucking genius and a god. You really think this thing can hold me? I’m gonna rip your throat...
6,810	27	Rick	Morty, what if the toxic parts of us have their own identities, their own will to live?
6,811	27	Rick	W-What if mine shares my intelligence and devised a way to reach out to us?
6,812	27	Morty	Sounds like he’s in a lot of pain. Lot. O. Pain. But, you know, you shouldn’t have to deal with that, man. You know, l-let’s work off your trauma with some urban spin yoga. It’s amazing. You do yoga on a bike, but you have an at-risk preteen-
6,813	27	Rick	I don’t think I can just blow this off, Morty. If I had known it worked this way, I wouldn’t have detoxed. Well, I would have because I was toxic. Now I’m detoxed and I’m accountable to my toxins, right? I-It’s a dilemma.
6,814	27	Morty	I think I know what to do. (Grabs Rick's phone and breaks it in half.)
6,815	27	Rick	Morty!
6,816	27	Morty	Rick! Haha. (Hops off the car.) You know, the only problem here is a big fat brain that misses eating all them big fat problems. Focus on the good thing. Trust me, things are good. Taking that away from me, heh. That wouldn’t be healthy.
6,817	27	Morty	Hahaha! Hahahaha! Oh, man. World’s Greatest Grandpa, for reals. (Walks away.) It’s not just a coffee cup for you, bud. You’re legit. (Catches a football that was kicked towards him, and chucks it back to an off screen person.)
6,818	27	Morty	I love drums. I never took drum lessons. Why? Limitations. We are addicted to our own limitations. How amazing is that? Is the kale prepared in the kitchen? I’ll have a water.
6,819	27	Jessica	Uh How is the "cru-dite?"
6,820	27	Waiter	CruditÃ©. It’s a cup of carrot sticks.
6,821	27	Morty	Ha! It’s okay! Pronounce it however you want. Words are just things. Please. Thank you. We’re having a conversation.
6,822	27	Morty	God, I am so excited to finally have dinner with you. You know how long I’ve been waiting for this? It’s like, whew! I-I-I wish you’d shut up, though. Just kidding. You know, you’re so quiet. What’s wrong? W-Why don’t you tell me about yourself? What’s the atmosphere like on planet Jessica? Where’s the equator, what are the vacations, a-and the holidays? I mean, you know, haha, are they the same time? Talk to me.
6,823	27	Jessica	Well I... like this restaurant.
6,824	27	Morty	Holy shit! Holy shit! We have a moron over here! I’m an idiot. I can’t believe I haven’t thought of this. You have to do this detox thing I did. It’s an alien spa, you go through it, fwoos-s-s-ssh, lasers, bwaa-bwaa-bwaa, wheeew wheeew! Sucks everything out. Everything that was holding me back, everything bad, I mean, it just sluuuurp! Hahaha! Right?
6,825	27	Jessica	(Awkwardly) Cooooool. (She grabs her phone and looks at it. It's out of battery.) Oh, my God! I can’t believe this.
6,826	27	Morty	Yeah, phones are awful, I downgraded to- (Goes to grab her phone but she interrupts him.)
6,827	27	Jessica	I totally forgot my I have a thing, and...
6,828	27	Morty	Things are good.
6,829	27	Jessica	You know what? Why am I doing that? That’s more rude than the truth. Look, I’m sorry, Morty. I just don’t think...
6,830	27	Morty	Do not. Even. You have no need to explain. It’s all good.
6,831	27	Jessica	I think you’d get bored with me. (Gets up out of her chair and leaves.)
6,832	27	Morty	E-Exactly. Look, the sparks aren’t flying. This is what dating is for, you know? First date, no sparks. No damage, no worries. Life is a highway. We’re gonna ride it all night lonnngg!
6,833	27	Morty	Gonna eat some "crudite. Mmm! Is this organic? Mmm. (He looks around the restaurant.) All right. You know, the evening continues. (His attention is on this one girl who's sitting at the bar.) Okay, here we go.
6,834	27	Morty	Ma’am, I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. Your money’s no good here. Haha! (To the Bar tender) I’ll I’ll get the next round, sir.
6,835	27	Stacy	Aren’t you a child?
6,836	27	Morty	Only in the ways that matter. Morty.
6,837	27	Stacy	(Sigh.) Stacy.
6,838	27	Morty	I’ve been watching you drink, Stacy. I get the feeling you’ve got a hard job. I wonder what it takes to please you. That’s the job I want Part time, full time, I want to be good at it, bad at it, I want to get promoted, fired, corner office, hostile takeover, workplace accident I’m on my knees, Stacy. Praying, worshipping, begging, whatever you want. (Sniff) What do you think about that?
6,839	27	Stacy	(Turns to look at Morty.) Okay. Fuck it.
6,840	27	Morty	Tink.
6,841	27	Morty	(Kisses Stacy) Mm! Let’s ask my grandpa. He’s a scientist.
6,842	27	Morty	Hey, Rick, are you familiar with "Ben Wa" technology?
6,843	27	Rick	(Get's up.) Morty, great news. I went back to the spa and they let me purchase the containment unit from their detoxifier.
6,844	27	Morty	Why?
6,845	27	Toxic Rick	(On the screen that's connected to the containment unit.) Because we’re coming home, bitch!
6,846	27	Morty	What is this?
6,847	27	Toxic Rick	This is the parts of your pussy grandpa that keep it real. Oh oh, and I think you dropped something, too! (He grabs Toxic Morty.)
6,848	27	Toxic Morty	I don’t want to be on camera. I’m ugly and gross, please.
6,849	27	Stacey	Should I go?
6,850	27	Morty	You’re your own person, Stacy.
6,851	27	Stacy	Then I’d like to stay.
6,852	27	Morty	Rick, please tell me you’re not trying to put that stuff back inside of us.
6,853	27	Rick	Morty, I’m sorry. That stuff is alive and it belongs with us. We yanked them from their homes and locked them in a can. (Knocks on the containment unit, knocking Toxic Rick over.)
6,854	27	Toxic Rick	Motherfucker!
6,855	27	Rick	See? They’re living in pain.
6,856	27	Morty	That’s what they do, Rick, they live in pain. They are pain, you know? They they’re all the bad parts of us, which, by the way, includes our dishonesty, so how do you know this isn’t all some sort of crazy trick?
6,857	27	Toxic Rick	Oh, so now because I’m made entirely of toxins I’m also a liar? Fuck you, you little sociopath. (Grabs Toxic Morty again.) You hear this, Morty?
6,858	27	Toxic Morty	Oh, everybody hates me. I can tell. Y-You all hate me.
6,859	27	Toxic Rick	(Puts him back down.) All right, shut up, Morty. Healthy Rick, are we doing this or what?
6,860	27	Rick	Yep. Sorry, Morty. I need you to step into the booth. (Opens the door to the booth.)
6,861	27	Morty	(Shakes his head with his arms crossed.)
6,862	27	Toxic Rick	Don’t negotiate with that little turd, dummy. You’re the Rick. You need to show dominance. Morty, booth, now. (Toxic Rick grabs Toxic Morty and shoves him into the booth. He gets in too, and closes the door.)
6,863	27	Rick	Booth! Come on, Morty.
6,864	27	Morty	Don’t touch me!
6,865	27	Rick	Morty, do the healthy thing and voluntarily retoxify yourself. (Rick grabs Morty as they both struggle.)
6,866	27	Morty	Nooooo!
6,867	27	Stacy	Is it wrong if I think this is kind of hot?
6,868	27	Morty	Let me out of here! Stacy, help! Open the door!
6,869	27	Stacy	I need to hear our safe word, Morty.
6,870	27	Morty	Sea Cucumber! Sea Cucumber!
6,871	27	Rick	What are you doing?
6,872	27	Stacy	I’ll do anything for you, Morty.
6,873	27	Rick	No!
6,874	27	Toxic Rick	It worked! Haha! Yes! That idiot believed every word. Now let’s see how he enjoys living in that shit tank.
6,875	27	Toxic Rick	He’s right behind me, isn’t he? (Looks behind him.)
6,876	27	Toxic Morty	He’s in front of you.
6,877	27	Toxic Rick	Oh. (Rubs eyes.) My eyes are still adjusting.
6,878	27	Stacy	(Through the screen.) Uh, is this like a sex dungeon? I guess I should’ve been paying attention.
6,879	27	Toxic Rick	After 70 years of being bottled up inside a (Burp) sentimental jackass, I finally get to live my own life.
6,880	27	Rick	You said we were merging.
6,881	27	Toxic Rick	I lied, dumbass! I lie about everything! Why would I ever re-merge with a pussy like you?
6,882	27	Rick	So you were just gonna trap us in that tank? T-That was your plan?
6,883	27	Toxic Rick	Not was, motherfucker, still is.
6,884	27	Morty	(Points to Toxic Rick.) Kill him, Rick!
6,885	27	Toxic Morty	(Hides behind the door to the booth.) I don’t like this! This is scary!
6,886	27	Rick	(Gets up, ready to fight with his fists up.) All right, you asked for it.
6,887	27	Toxic Rick	Did I ask for this? (Kicks Rick in the crotch. Rick groans in pain, grabbing his crotch.) Did I ask for this? (Grabs Rick's shoulders and repeatedly knees him in the crotch.) Huh? Did I?
6,888	27	Groin System 6000	Assessing threat to groin.
6,889	27	Toxic Rick	Groin System 6000. Kill him!
6,890	27	Groin System 6000	(Faces Rick, then looks back.) That... is my groin’s user.
6,891	27	Toxic Rick	Believe me, I got a lot more use out of that thing than he ever did.
6,892	27	Groin System 6000	You know what? Not my table. (Turns back into a belt buckle.)
6,893	27	Mrs. Pancakes	You do know me.
6,894	27	Summer	(Gasp.)
6,895	27	Summer	What the hell, Grandpa Rick?
6,896	27	Toxic Rick	Fuck you, Summer!
6,897	27	Rick	Sorry, Summer!
6,898	27	Rick	Okay, okay, take it easy. Don’t do it.
6,899	27	Toxic Rick	I love you. Good boy. Daddy’s little boy.

6,800

27

Rick

(Walks up to Morty and Jessica)

6,801

27

Morty

Happy to help, Rick.

6,802

27

Rick

I hate to bug you with this, but after our morning hike I started receiving very faint, highly unusual transmissions on my sub ether phone. Listen.

6,803

27

Morty

It’s a bad phone. Chuck it. I downgraded to a clamshell for emergencies only. You know, if if if something’s worth saying, I-it’s worth eye contact.

6,804

27

Rick

Uh, I-I-I traced the source of the call back to the spa we went to, Morty. I thought I could hear a voice in there, so I enhanced it, a-and listen.

6,805

27

Toxic Rick

Hey, asshole!

6,806

27

Toxic Morty

Oh, man!

6,807

27

Toxic Rick

Remember us?

6,808

27

Toxic Morty

Oh, I don’t like confrontation!

6,809

27

Toxic Rick

You fucked us, you pieces of garbage! That’s right, you’re fucking garbage, not us. I’m a fucking genius and a god. You really think this thing can hold me? I’m gonna rip your throat...

6,810

27

Rick

Morty, what if the toxic parts of us have their own identities, their own will to live?

6,811

27

Rick

W-What if mine shares my intelligence and devised a way to reach out to us?

6,812

27

Morty

Sounds like he’s in a lot of pain. Lot. O. Pain. But, you know, you shouldn’t have to deal with that, man. You know, l-let’s work off your trauma with some urban spin yoga. It’s amazing. You do yoga on a bike, but you have an at-risk preteen-

6,813

27

Rick

I don’t think I can just blow this off, Morty. If I had known it worked this way, I wouldn’t have detoxed. Well, I would have because I was toxic. Now I’m detoxed and I’m accountable to my toxins, right? I-It’s a dilemma.

6,814

27

Morty

I think I know what to do. (Grabs Rick's phone and breaks it in half.)

6,815

27

Rick

Morty!

6,816

27

Morty

Rick! Haha. (Hops off the car.) You know, the only problem here is a big fat brain that misses eating all them big fat problems. Focus on the good thing. Trust me, things are good. Taking that away from me, heh. That wouldn’t be healthy.

6,817

27

Morty

Hahaha! Hahahaha! Oh, man. World’s Greatest Grandpa, for reals. (Walks away.) It’s not just a coffee cup for you, bud. You’re legit. (Catches a football that was kicked towards him, and chucks it back to an off screen person.)

6,818

27

Morty

I love drums. I never took drum lessons. Why? Limitations. We are addicted to our own limitations. How amazing is that? Is the kale prepared in the kitchen? I’ll have a water.

6,819

27

Jessica

Uh How is the "cru-dite?"

6,820

27

Waiter

CruditÃ©. It’s a cup of carrot sticks.

6,821

27

Morty

Ha! It’s okay! Pronounce it however you want. Words are just things. Please. Thank you. We’re having a conversation.

6,822

27

Morty

God, I am so excited to finally have dinner with you. You know how long I’ve been waiting for this? It’s like, whew! I-I-I wish you’d shut up, though. Just kidding. You know, you’re so quiet. What’s wrong? W-Why don’t you tell me about yourself? What’s the atmosphere like on planet Jessica? Where’s the equator, what are the vacations, a-and the holidays? I mean, you know, haha, are they the same time? Talk to me.

6,823

27

Jessica

Well I... like this restaurant.

6,824

27

Morty

Holy shit! Holy shit! We have a moron over here! I’m an idiot. I can’t believe I haven’t thought of this. You have to do this detox thing I did. It’s an alien spa, you go through it, fwoos-s-s-ssh, lasers, bwaa-bwaa-bwaa, wheeew wheeew! Sucks everything out. Everything that was holding me back, everything bad, I mean, it just sluuuurp! Hahaha! Right?

6,825

27

Jessica

(Awkwardly) Cooooool. (She grabs her phone and looks at it. It's out of battery.) Oh, my God! I can’t believe this.

6,826

27

Morty

Yeah, phones are awful, I downgraded to- (Goes to grab her phone but she interrupts him.)

6,827

27

Jessica

I totally forgot my I have a thing, and...

6,828

27

Morty

Things are good.

6,829

27

Jessica

You know what? Why am I doing that? That’s more rude than the truth. Look, I’m sorry, Morty. I just don’t think...

6,830

27

Morty

Do not. Even. You have no need to explain. It’s all good.

6,831

27

Jessica

I think you’d get bored with me. (Gets up out of her chair and leaves.)

6,832

27

Morty

E-Exactly. Look, the sparks aren’t flying. This is what dating is for, you know? First date, no sparks. No damage, no worries. Life is a highway. We’re gonna ride it all night lonnngg!

6,833

27

Morty

Gonna eat some "crudite. Mmm! Is this organic? Mmm. (He looks around the restaurant.) All right. You know, the evening continues. (His attention is on this one girl who's sitting at the bar.) Okay, here we go.

6,834

27

Morty

Ma’am, I’m afraid I have some bad news for you. Your money’s no good here. Haha! (To the Bar tender) I’ll I’ll get the next round, sir.

6,835

27

Stacy

Aren’t you a child?

6,836

27

Morty

Only in the ways that matter. Morty.

6,837

27

Stacy

(Sigh.) Stacy.

6,838

27

Morty

I’ve been watching you drink, Stacy. I get the feeling you’ve got a hard job. I wonder what it takes to please you. That’s the job I want Part time, full time, I want to be good at it, bad at it, I want to get promoted, fired, corner office, hostile takeover, workplace accident I’m on my knees, Stacy. Praying, worshipping, begging, whatever you want. (Sniff) What do you think about that?

6,839

27

Stacy

(Turns to look at Morty.) Okay. Fuck it.

6,840

27

Morty

Tink.

6,841

27

Morty

(Kisses Stacy) Mm! Let’s ask my grandpa. He’s a scientist.

6,842

27

Morty

Hey, Rick, are you familiar with "Ben Wa" technology?

6,843

27

Rick

(Get's up.) Morty, great news. I went back to the spa and they let me purchase the containment unit from their detoxifier.

6,844

27

Morty

Why?

6,845

27

Toxic Rick

(On the screen that's connected to the containment unit.) Because we’re coming home, bitch!

6,846

27

Morty

What is this?

6,847

27

Toxic Rick

This is the parts of your pussy grandpa that keep it real. Oh oh, and I think you dropped something, too! (He grabs Toxic Morty.)

6,848

27

Toxic Morty

I don’t want to be on camera. I’m ugly and gross, please.

6,849

27

Stacey

Should I go?

6,850

27

Morty

You’re your own person, Stacy.

6,851

27

Stacy

Then I’d like to stay.

6,852

27

Morty

Rick, please tell me you’re not trying to put that stuff back inside of us.

6,853

27

Rick

Morty, I’m sorry. That stuff is alive and it belongs with us. We yanked them from their homes and locked them in a can. (Knocks on the containment unit, knocking Toxic Rick over.)

6,854

27

Toxic Rick

Motherfucker!

6,855

27

Rick

See? They’re living in pain.

6,856

27

Morty

That’s what they do, Rick, they live in pain. They are pain, you know? They they’re all the bad parts of us, which, by the way, includes our dishonesty, so how do you know this isn’t all some sort of crazy trick?

6,857

27

Toxic Rick

Oh, so now because I’m made entirely of toxins I’m also a liar? Fuck you, you little sociopath. (Grabs Toxic Morty again.) You hear this, Morty?

6,858

27

Toxic Morty

Oh, everybody hates me. I can tell. Y-You all hate me.

6,859

27

Toxic Rick

(Puts him back down.) All right, shut up, Morty. Healthy Rick, are we doing this or what?

6,860

27

Rick

Yep. Sorry, Morty. I need you to step into the booth. (Opens the door to the booth.)

6,861

27

Morty

(Shakes his head with his arms crossed.)

6,862

27

Toxic Rick

Don’t negotiate with that little turd, dummy. You’re the Rick. You need to show dominance. Morty, booth, now. (Toxic Rick grabs Toxic Morty and shoves him into the booth. He gets in too, and closes the door.)

6,863

27

Rick

Booth! Come on, Morty.

6,864

27

Morty

Don’t touch me!

6,865

27

Rick

Morty, do the healthy thing and voluntarily retoxify yourself. (Rick grabs Morty as they both struggle.)

6,866

27

Morty

Nooooo!

6,867

27

Stacy

Is it wrong if I think this is kind of hot?

6,868

27

Morty

Let me out of here! Stacy, help! Open the door!

6,869

27

Stacy

I need to hear our safe word, Morty.

6,870

27

Morty

Sea Cucumber! Sea Cucumber!

6,871

27

Rick

What are you doing?

6,872

27

Stacy

I’ll do anything for you, Morty.

6,873

27

Rick

No!

6,874

27

Toxic Rick

It worked! Haha! Yes! That idiot believed every word. Now let’s see how he enjoys living in that shit tank.

6,875

27

Toxic Rick

He’s right behind me, isn’t he? (Looks behind him.)

6,876

27

Toxic Morty

He’s in front of you.

6,877

27

Toxic Rick

Oh. (Rubs eyes.) My eyes are still adjusting.

6,878

27

Stacy

(Through the screen.) Uh, is this like a sex dungeon? I guess I should’ve been paying attention.

6,879

27

Toxic Rick

After 70 years of being bottled up inside a (Burp) sentimental jackass, I finally get to live my own life.

6,880

27

Rick

You said we were merging.

6,881

27

Toxic Rick

I lied, dumbass! I lie about everything! Why would I ever re-merge with a pussy like you?

6,882

27

Rick

So you were just gonna trap us in that tank? T-That was your plan?

6,883

27

Toxic Rick

Not was, motherfucker, still is.

6,884

27

Morty

(Points to Toxic Rick.) Kill him, Rick!

6,885

27

Toxic Morty

(Hides behind the door to the booth.) I don’t like this! This is scary!

6,886

27

Rick

(Gets up, ready to fight with his fists up.) All right, you asked for it.

6,887

27

Toxic Rick

Did I ask for this? (Kicks Rick in the crotch. Rick groans in pain, grabbing his crotch.) Did I ask for this? (Grabs Rick's shoulders and repeatedly knees him in the crotch.) Huh? Did I?

6,888

27

Groin System 6000

Assessing threat to groin.

6,889

27

Toxic Rick

Groin System 6000. Kill him!

6,890

27

Groin System 6000

(Faces Rick, then looks back.) That... is my groin’s user.

6,891

27

Toxic Rick

Believe me, I got a lot more use out of that thing than he ever did.

6,892

27

Groin System 6000

You know what? Not my table. (Turns back into a belt buckle.)

6,893

27

Mrs. Pancakes

You do know me.

6,894

27

Summer

(Gasp.)

6,895

27

Summer

What the hell, Grandpa Rick?

6,896

27

Toxic Rick

Fuck you, Summer!

6,897

27

Rick

Sorry, Summer!

6,898

27

Rick

Okay, okay, take it easy. Don’t do it.

6,899

27

Toxic Rick

I love you. Good boy. Daddy’s little boy.