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What I'll show you is the back of my hand!
Get your... filthy...
I'll have the East India Company down your necks!
I think not, Colonel.
Kamir, what do you think you're about?
Appeasing my god, Colonel.
Damn your insolence!
No wog is going to teach me a lesson!
Of course not, Colonel.
You are the lesson.
See here!
I am... |
I came for your help.
If you want to challenge me, do so, but don't judge me.
I don't get it, Mac.
The guy seems so enlightened about life.
When I talk to him, I feel like I'm talking to some kind of priest.
You were.
He's just not the type that takes confession.
But now you're trying to tell me he's a murderer.
That... |
They should've been back by now.
Perhaps they were merely delayed.
Ramsey's a British officer.
He doesn't get delayed.
Especially not for pleasure.
You don't like him, do you?
I know his kind.
The likes of him destroyed my country, scattered my people.
And yet you fear for his safety.
No, not only his.
If Ramsey is dea... |
No, she is not like me.
She sees nothing but her own vanity, cares for nothing but herself.
She'll not find the beauty in this land.
Not like I have.
You have chosen the right path, Vashti.
You asked to see me?
Yes.
Come.
Sit by me.
What were you thinking?
About life.
Yours or mine?
Both.
Duncan, do you believe in im... |
Come back to bed.
I must go to the temple.
I will come with you.
No.
I must go alone.
Then hurry back.
We have much to discuss.
Duncan, when we first met, you told me I'd never truly been in love.
Aye.
Now I have.
Have you seen Vashti?
No, sir.
No!
No...
What's happened?
Damn you and this bloody land!
Where's Ramsey?
D... |
Then show it.
Take the Kali, and be on the next plane home.
It's over.
Why couldn't you just take the Kali and leave in peace?
Because Shandra Devane is the worst kind of traitor.
To Millay, that statue is just a trade.
To her, it should have been a god.
Kali has judged her, and her punishment is death.
Shandra's not p... |
Why?
Fight me!
- Because I helped her?
- Aye!
She obeyed what was in her heart.
I was in her heart.
She loved me.
I know.
This is because she loved you.
She became a suttee to atone for her actions.
So don't hate yourself, MacLeod, sahib.
Allow us to fulfill her wishes, and let her return to us.
Duncan, do you believe ... |
Then there's one rule we both live by.
There can be only one.
Very well.
Let our blades decide who is right.
Kali is watching.
All the people that were killed for this thing.
I still don't feel good about him dying.
You're not supposed to.
There was a greatness about him, Mac.
What he said.
What he stood for.
What he ... |
No man can be my equal
Take me to the future of your world
Closed-Captioned By Captions, Inc.
Los Angeles
Hold it!
Ready, set...
Hi!
Yo.
Been waiting?
Been waiting.
How'd it go?
Perfect!
It's getting a bit warm, though.
Why do we need that thing in order to find Harimao's treasure?
This little bronze teddy-bear stat... |
And besides, we were just wanting another hand anyhow, right?
Well, he's far better than some goofy schoolboy,
I'll grant you...
So tell me, what's your hourly wage?
(Y)980.
Ah, is that so?
Hey, Lupin!
Well then, part-timer-kun, shall we've you get started right away?
I feel nothing.
The falcon and monkey are left.
Whe... |
Well then, this must hold memories of a beautiful KGB spy, right?
The two of you, together in this compartment on the Orient Express, loving each other passionately...
She was an extraordinary beauty, but she can't compare to your attractiveness.
I'm flattered, even if you are kidding!
Is something the matter, Lord Arc... |
He's the man who James Bond's character was modeled after.
He's more charming than you are!
How can you say that?
"I can't do the job unless it's together with you!"
Who was it that told me so through her tears?
Why, who indeed?
Something I can do for you?
You must be the secretary Grandfather has chosen.
- Such an enc... |
I'll have to consult with Lloyd's main office as to how to deal with this.
Grandfather!
Being surrounded in pinches such as these is one of my occupational hazards.
This is quite the fantastic turn of events.
How come?
That old man is the sole underwriter on the insurance for the Eurotunnel.
For now, we head to London.... |
If you take it, will you take it?
Can you take it?
Allow me to quote you the numbers.
Assuming you dispose of all your property at a high price, you are still short by $7 billion.
As far as $7 billion goes, I once won that much in a poker game.
What was the most you've ever lost?
Up until now, I have never lost.
Well,... |
I received that photo from Harimao.
Harimao and I've something of a shared destiny, you see.
It's a mere $7 billion.
Once I find the treasure, a debt such as that will be easily repaid!
However, one of the statues was stolen from an Alaskan museum the other day.
How about it, Russell-kun?
Are you interested?
I'm inte... |
?
- Your mama's belly button sticks out!
- What, have you seen it?
Come on!
Well, fine!
Her feet are cold then!
It's YOUR mama whose shins are overrun with hair!
Smoking driver!
Compulsive shopper!
Over-eater!
Mother-in-law-abuser!
L
- Lupin!
?
Hi there, Pops!
Have you been well?
Sorry, but we're in a hurry!
Lupin... |
Bye!
Just a sec...!
Come to think of it,
Lord Archer's granddaughter just left for Milreva Castle.
Oh?
You're kidding, I don't believe it!
Diana-san is coming!
?
Hold on!
Why do you know the name of his granddaughter!
?
I'm very good at investigating things!
You can divide up the treasure, but you can't divide up the... |
Say, what's Goemon up to?
Dunno.
Still and all, how can they put all this crap on display?
Judging by the fact it's not in the exhibit, it must be somewhere that hasn't been discovered yet.
It's an ages-old castle, so there has to be one or two secret rooms somewhere.
Gah!
Loafing around up here, are you?
Hey, you, yo... |
Never mind now.
The red one was dangerous, and so we check the blue...
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Lupin!
Are you all right?
Lupin!
Lu...pin!
This is as far as it goes.
Are you deserting Lupin?
You're certain this is the right room?
Promise me before you goes in to not be makin' no trouble.
I can't afford to have my ro... |
Toy with me, will you?
This goes here, that there, and there, and there!
That should about do it.
Good morning to you!
This just won't do!
How can a beauty such as you be a thief?
Who are you?
A thief.
But unlike you, I'm a first-class one.
Now, why don't you hand over that falcon statue?
Try taking it from me.
You're... |
What?
We'll just see if you can get away.
Hey!
Don't come any closer with that!
Lupin!
Hi-i!
Which way did the cruiser go?
East-southeast.
They're headed for the center of the city.
East-southeast, dead ahead!
Found them!
They're closing in at a speed of 33 knots!
Understood!
- Fujiko-san...
- Y- yes?
Move aside!
Do y... |
Certainly.
- We made it.
- Yes, we did.
- I think I'll take a drink as well.
- Right!
- Make it a double, okay?
- Right.
What happened to those guys?
They're playing with the fish!
That is, if the fish are feeling bored.
Lupin III, huh?
Oh?
Grandfather, you knew who those people were just now?
Hey, hey, I was with the... |
This means it's likely we're not the only ones who are after the falcon statue!
Lupin!
You miserable punk!
Watch out, why don't you!
?
So, where are we going today?
Same play as always!
How improper!
- Don't you want to?
- Uh-huh!
Why, you...!
I don't like it when you laugh!
Your girlfriend says she doesn't want to go ... |
All right, then...!
Whoops!
There they are, Lupin!
There they go.
Calling Archer!
Calling Archer!
Hey, you!
Do you realize what you've just done!
?
You've just destroyed the Grau Bridge, a world-wide cultural treasure!
In other words, you've just committed a serious crime against humanity!
Silence!
Shut up and listen... |
Two by three, knight promoted.
Seven by seven, attack.
Four by eight, bishop.
Copper general, silver general.
Copper general, rook.
Five by two, gold general.
Three by three, silver general not promoted.
Six by one, gold general.
Two by two, bishop.
Seven by three, rook promoted.
Copper general, knight.
Check!
Gold ge... |
Lupin!
You're under arrest!
This is hopeless.
Lupin?
I see, so that's the man who got the bear statue in Alaska.
That man just now was Lupin?
Is that so?
Understood.
I'll be certain to obtain the bear statue!
Lady, how long have you and Lupin been together?
How insulting!
I'm not this man's woman!
You can't fool me!... |
What can I say, there are the red-labeled ones and the blue-labeled ones, so whichever you may prefer.
As for me, I like the one with the red label.
Here.
Here.
Now listen, don't be in a hurry.
Wait three minutes!
And this will either make or break whether or not it tastes good.
Pops, what's this?
This?
My specially-m... |
Is this any time to be asking about that?
You mean you want me to jump off by myself!
?
You can bruise that springy little butt of yours, or lose your life.
Pick one of the two.
And what are you going to do!
?
Me?
I've a spot of business with that helicopter there, you see.
Oh look, you have a pimple here!
You'll never... |
Well, if you'll excuse me...!
You have the teddy-bear statue.
We have the statue of the falcon-san.
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Lupin has the milk tea and lemon for Mister Archer.
What it comes down to is we split fifty-fifty.
No, 70-30.
We take the 70.
That makes you the thief!
I'd like to proceed under a gentleman's ... |
This won't hurt at all.
Have you come all the way here to Bangkok in order to ensure I pay the money?
Mister Archer, you've a piglet growing out of your ear.
Unfortunately, your liability has grown.
Primarily, it concerns the construction expenses involved in rebuilding the Eurotunnel.
Due to the strength of the yen re... |
Um, is that Agatha Christie?
Shakespeare.
Is that Natsume Soseki?
Monkey Punch.
About Fujiko...
Why do you suppose she didn't come?
I am going to remain in Bangkok.
You cannot do that, Fujiko-kun.
Without you along, this will be a lonely trip!
But you see, I hate to get all dusty, and someone has to stay in contact wit... |
What's your cargo?
A delivery for the 6th battalion command post.
How about I give you one too?
"Night of the Promiscuous Wife"
I- i- is that...!
?
"Please, Anything But You-Know-What!"
These are in Japanese, but the commanding officer likes them!
Take them, you thieves!
We appreciate your efforts!
Don't watch them dur... |
That's correct.
It's the crest of Harimao's Bandits.
This was Harimao's secret headquarters.
I lived for 3 months here with Harimao and the others.
It was right in the middle of World War II...
My adversary was the Japanese Zero fighter.
My British Spitfire fell just short of the Zeroes as far as top speed and maneuver... |
He handed over one statue to each of his three stewards, saying that if they were to get into a jam, they were to join their 3 powers together.
I see, and those 3 statues are the bear, falcon and monkey, then.
And then, the night following the next night after...
I alone had been called out by Harimao.
You mustn't be d... |
Sir, please accept our apologies, but at this restaurant, we can't accept an order of just hot water.
Afterwards, I was going to order some coffee as well!
- Only coffee, then?
- It's Pops...
- What do you mean by "only!
?"
- This is trouble...!
You may enter.
Heil, Herr Maforditte!
All preparations for Operation "Q" ... |
I
- I hate girls!
How cute!
...when I become a butterfly...
da-daga-dan-dan-dan become a butterfly, become a butterfly become a butterf-- huh?
Fujiko...!
The monkey statue is enshrined on the highest floor of that temple, in the "Room of Bliss."
However, the Wat Manahat Temple here is one of the highest, first-class na... |
All right, I'll become an old man right along with you!
So, Lupin, go with the usual method?
Fine.
Darling baby, hey, hey!
Darling baby, hoy, hoy!
Yo, brothers!
How have things been?
What is your unit!
?
This area is off-limits!
Which unit you ask, baby?
Let me have you look at this.
I'm in the auspicious order of thi... |
I'll think about it.
Goemon!
What you're doing in a place like this?
Meditating upon bliss and worldly desires, as well as what foolishness mankind exhibits concerning pleasure.
You sure are a glutton for tribulation.
I need not hear that from an ordinary man.
Still, you've done pretty well to have gotten into this tem... |
Leave it there.
So, where is it we're headed to?
What does Grandfather say?
Well, about that, he hasn't told us a thing!
Well, I'm not saying either.
I deserve something.
I risked my life in order to recover the monkey statue.
I risked my own life as well.
- That's Shakespeare, right?
- Baudelaire.
My Fuhrer, we have n... |
Do you know of an underground temple?
A temple, dedicated to the ancient Buddhist deity Indra.
It's the only god that Harimao believed in.
From one of the esoteric Buddhist religions that flourished until around the 16th century, then died out.
The bear, the falcon, and the monkey.
It is said that these three are the p... |
Commence Operation Q!
It really does run!
Any way you look at it, Harimao was on a level way above your queen!
- They're coming, huh?
- Here they come!
Start submerging!
As soon as you can!
Hey, Lupin!
We've got a really stubborn one here.
Hey, Pops!
You're gonna die!
Dammit!
Do you read me, Lord Archer?
You have alre... |
What are you talking about, at a time like this!
?
I'll pay you later!
Resume fire!
That's done it!
The air tank has been hit!
We're going up!
If we continue like this, we'll be crushed by the water pressure!
Here they come!
Incredible!
How...
lovely it is!
I want it!
Heil, Herr Maforditte!
It is fate...
That such a... |
Our chance!
Out of the way!
You bastard!
- Grandfather!
- Lord Archer!
Grandfather?
Get off the ship!
This boat is about to sink!
Hold on, hold on, if I'm right...
That's it!
He's the cult maniac on our wanted list!
You're under arrest, Lupin!
You don't mean Lupin, right Pops?
My fault, my fault!
Okay, Grandfather, le... |
I hate to bring it up at a time like this, but that promise you made to get some chow with me is still on, right?
Can't you call it dinner?
Sure.
25.000 English
I think sex is overrated, Dr taylor don't you?
No, I guess not.
You'd be out of a job, wouldn't you?
I Iove that little scar on your mouth.
My mother told... |
Does it make a difference?
- A difference to what?
If I have MPD?
multiple personality disorder.
That's part of it.
But I am the one who should be asking the questions, Max.
You're a very attractive woman for a shrink.
Thank you.
- We're out of time today.
- No, you're out of fucking time.
I'm not out of time.
I've ... |
- You smell incredible.
- I'm not wearing anything.
I wish ...
It all comes down to smell.
Speak for yourself.
That's really all we are.
We're just animals with beepers.
Maybe it does all come down to smell ...
And you smell like a friend who lives upstairs.
I didn't smell like a friend when you moved here, did I?
That... |
A cousin had a psychiatric hospitalisation.
The defendant has no prior psychiatric history but shows signs of multiple personality disorder and describes finding himself places not knowing how he got there.
Mr Wabash is on his way to see you.
- Wabash?
- Yes, Max Cheski's attorney.
Oh, right ...
Did he have an appo... |
- Go ahead.
- After you.
- No.
- Excuse me?
Bad choice ...
They don't make a good Cabernet.
- They make a good Pinot Noir.
- A good domestic Pinot Noir.
No, that's a contradiction in terms.
- Ever had CaIera?
- Ever had La Tache?
- would you Iike to?
- No.
Thank you.
- You don't know what you're missing.
- I don't kno... |
- Puerto Rico.
I guess I'm a bit overanxious to make friends.
Oh, really ...
See that woman over there?
Why not make friends with her?
Because ...
I admit it.
I find you incredibly attractive.
If you think I am bothering you, If you think I am out of line, just tell me and I am gone.
This is your last chance.
Befor... |
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'II just clean up this mess before the neighbours complain.
- How long have you been in town?
- I came in this afternoon.
I'm only staying one night.
I have some customers to see tomorrow and then I'm gone.
I'm sorry, it's not a good time.
I've got to go out, I have to get ready.
- Won't you even... |
At least I can pay for your motel.
You don't have to do that.
- call me, we'II make a plan.
- Bye, angel.
- I need vodka.
- I don't have any.
- Sure you do.
- No, I don't.
I saw some in ...
- Are you coming, cliff?
- I'II be right there.
- I don't have any vodka, I hate it.
- She loves vodka.
Is she old enough to drink... |
What do you mean, don't let the elevator scare me?
Okay.
Top floor, 63.
Great, okay.
I'II see you tomorrow night, bye.
You have a date?
I have a winetasting.
- For how many people?
- Two.
La Tache '61 .
- You're a bad influence.
- How bad?
well, here I am, getting drunk ...
with a stranger.
- Stranger?
- You know what... |
My job's about making people feel safe.
You're good at it.
You think so?
I feel nothing bad could happen when you're around.
I Iike that.
Thank you.
- Are you from New York?
- No, I'm from albany.
That was way back.
My mother was killed when I was five and we moved away.
killed?
Yeah, a car crash.
I'm sorry.
I don't ... |
What is it?
Did your sex life pick up?
Good morning, Max.
I didn't think I'd see you again.
- I thought you had decided about me.
- Why?
Because you're a judgemental person ...
for a psychologist.
- That's why your attorney came?
- He's a fucking idiot.
I told him it wouldn't work.
I told him you're not the kind of per... |
I pick you up at seven, okay?
It's Tony, by the way.
Bye.
Son of a bitch.
- I'm impressed.
- What do you want?
- I don't care.
- She'II take the tiger.
No, the giraffe.
- He's so cute.
- I figured you for the tiger.
Good thing I'm not a shrink.
Where did you learn to shoot?
I was a cop.
- What?
- I was a cop.
In Puert... |
Come on.
You need to get both sides like that.
kill the clown.
Go for it.
It's all right.
What's wrong?
- Do you want a doctor?
- No.
- Can you stand up?
- I don't know.
AII right, come here.
I made you some chamomile tea.
- A cop who makes chamomile tea?
- That's me.
- Tony, did you send me flowers?
- flowers?
No.
- ... |
Fine.
Go.
Be my guest.
- I don't fucking know what's going on.
- Don't talk to me like that.
I don't understand.
One minute you're all over me, the next you push me out.
- I was never all over you.
- It seemed that way.
Fuck you!
Wait, you forgot something.
What else?
That's how I Iike my men.
Wet ... and naked.
Mau... |
He has friends on the outside.
I talk to him daily.
If he was pulling stunts, I'd ...
How would he even know?
If he has muIipIe personality disorder one personality has no idea what the others are doing.
Are you suggesting Max does things he doesn't know?
It's ridiculous.
"ridiculous" is the whole basis for your defe... |
call me closer to Christmas.
I'II talk to you soon.
Bye, Henry.
Why don't I help you out?
With the dinner, Christmas.
That's sweet of you.
But you don't want that.
- I would love to meet your father.
- No, he's a fucking pig.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean that.
He just ... suddenly wants a part of me after all this time.
H... |
- Can I?
half the world can't.
It's a western concept.
The Buddhists have a saying:
"If you meet your master on the road, kill him."
- What does that mean to you?
- That I haven't got any masters.
Goodbye, Max.
- Sarah?
- Hi, Doris.
Hang on a second, I've got a parcel for you.
- It was by the door.
- Did you see who l... |
- It's me.
- Tony, it's a really bad time now.
- Can I call you later.
- No, I'm coming up.
What's going on?
- You don't know?
- Know what?
- Somebody killed my cat.
- I'm sorry.
- Don't ...
- What?
Don't touch me.
Where were you last night?
I needed you.
I was out of town.
In Boston.
You know that.
- No, I don't.
- I... |
- Don't do that.
- Don't touch you?
Ever since you came into Sarah's life bad things have happened to her.
Are you out of your mind?
Get out of my house.
- The guy was out of line.
- Oh, he was?
- You're very upset.
- Yes, someone killed my cat!
- I'm sorry!
- Don't yell at me!
You think it's me, don't you?
You think I... |
glad I'm out of it.
I'II need $2,000.
It's a retainer.
I'm falling in love, but have to check first that he's not a psychopath.
- You're a natural.
- What?
You're a natural.
I'm glad you're on my side.
If you still are ...
What can I say about last night?
- You don't have to say anything.
- I'm sorry.
Let's do one more... |
I'm right here.
- I don't want to.
- Yes, you do.
I'm scared.
Me too.
But that isn't going to stop me.
- Do you have to go to Boston tomorrow?
- I do.
But I don't like leaving you here for a day.
Is that true?
- I Iove you, Sarah.
- I Iove you, Tony.
Your father on Iine two.
- tell him I'm in a meeting.
- It's his thi... |
- Why didn't he tell me?
- Why?
Is something wrong?
- I'm from albany.
- No kidding.
He gets on the flight to New York.
I've got to go, it's boarding.
Brace yourself, Sarah.
It seems that he has a wife and a child.
There's a little girl here, about five.
Hi, Sarah.
It's me, Tony.
Where are you?
I tried you at the offi... |
I'm just kidding.
It was attempted homicide and I'm not just talking about your friend.
We saw your heater.
The screws were tampered with.
I think you'd better talk with ...
with Tony Ramirez.
- Take care, Dr taylor.
- Thank you.
- I was worried about you.
- That gives you the right to break in?
I don't think so.
- W... |
- Why did you do that?
- Why did you go to New York?
Who was that woman?
- You want the truth?
- Yes.
The woman is my cousin.
She's also Benny's sister.
- What does Benny have to do with this?
- The family wants to know where he is.
I was sent here to investigate you.
AII this time, it was about my ex-boyfriend?
We wan... |
Don't do this, alison.
Don't make me angry.
Sweet Jesus, what'lI they do to me?
Mama was bad and got Dad in trouble.
You have to help Dad and pull the trigger.
Do as you're told.
One, two, three.
all right ...
Daddy will help you.
My Mummy is dead.
She's all gone.
- It was an accident.
- Yes, it was an accident.
A ter... |
I want you to do the same thing.
You don't want to shoot me, right?
Do you want to kill me?
Give me the gun.
Trust me.
Fucker!
Now you know what happened to Benny if you're so fucking interested.
He was a worthless piece of shit, Iike you.
Like all men.
Like all men!
Like all men!
Like all men!
It's all right, Sarah.
... |
You won't remember any of this.
AII right, Sarah.
It's going to be all right.
It was seIf-defense.
"Tony Ramirez shot my father, then turned his gun towards me, -
- I fired once.
Next thing I remember, I was standing over him with a gun and Detective Spatz entered.
I'm not sure how much time passed but it wasn't m... |
Thank you.
subtitles by Sharon taylor Scandinavian Text Service
I think sex is overrated, Dr. Taylor.
Don't you?
No, I guess not.
You'd be out of a job, wouldn't you?
I love that little scar on your mouth.
My mother told me about sex.
She said always try to make it an act of love... and never force yourself on anyone.... |
- A difference to what?
If I have MPD...
Multiple Personality Disorder.
That's part of it...
But I'm really the one that's supposed to be asking the questions, Max.
You're a very attractive woman for a shrink.
Thank you.
- We're out of time today.
- We're out of time?
No, you're out of fuckin' time.
I'm not out of time... |
See anything for over the hearth?
It's just everything's entertainment.
That's the only value we recognize.
- Isn't it?
- That's the truth.
Bartender, another NyQuil for my friend here.
- You smell incredible.
- I'm not wearing anything.
I wish.
You know, that's all there is to it, Sarah.
- It all comes down to the sm... |
No, I don't.
The fact that I don't want a romantic involvement now is not pathological.
- It's my choice.
- Who said anything about involvement?
I just wanna fuck.
Good night, Cliff.
- Hi, Maura.
- Morning, Dr. Taylor.
Give me five minutes before you put any calls through.
The defendant is an only child.
A cousin had a... |
- I haven't finished my evaluation.
What's to evaluate?
This guy's a total schizo.
We're talkin' Jekyll and Hyde.
I think you're confusing schizophrenia with Multiple Personality Disorder.
- What are you saying?
- He could be a schizophrenic... or he could be suffering from MPD... but unless he's making psychiatric h... |
Thank you.
- You don't know what you're missing.
- I don't know you.
My name is Tony.
Tony Ramirez.
Mr. Ramirez, we're strangers... and I was raised to never talk to strangers.
You never talk to strangers, you'll never make any friends.
You live in the neighborhood?
Is this a coincidence or what?
Remember me?
We met i... |
Well, I was kind of hoping for this year.
- Maybe even tonight.
- I was talking about the La Tache.
Oh. '61.
Do I look like someone who can be bought with a good vintage?
You look like someone who has to be won.
Taxi!
Hi, lady.
What do you say?
Say yes.
Say, "Yes!"
Here's my number.
Call me.
You wanna go now, lady?
I... |
It's not a very good time.
I've gotta go out, and I've gotta get ready.
Aren't you gonna even offer me a drink?
I don't have any liquor in the house.
Had I known you were coming...
You were such a sweet little girl.
So pretty.
I was hopin' to stay on the couch tonight.
Every dollar counts right now.
I'm sorry, Henry.
... |
Call me.
We'll make a plan.
Bye, angel.
- I need some vodka.
- I don't have any.
- Sure you do.
Come on.
- No, I don't.
- I saw some in the...
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Are you coming, Cliff?
- I'll be right there.
- I don't have any vodka.
- I hate vodka.
- Well, she loves vodka.
Good.
Is she even old enough to drink?
- What d... |
La Tache, '61... a memorable year.
That would be nice.
Tony?
Who's Tony?
What do you mean, don't let the elevator scare me?
Okay.
Top floor, 63.
Great.
Okay.
I'll see you tomorrow night.
Bye.
Now what is that?
You have a date?
I have a wine-tasting.
- Well, how many people?
- Two.
La Tache, '61.
- You're a bad inf... |
What a shit, huh?
So what exactly does a surveillance consultant do?
- Kind of what it sounds like.
- A bodyguard?
Yeah.
That's how I started.
Now I sell security devices... alarm systems, car alarms, motion sensors.
I suppose my job's about making people feel safe.
- You're good at it.
- You think?
I have a feeling n... |
Never knew any different.
The only memory I have of my mother... is of her reading to me at night.
She used to climb right into bed with me.
I remember her.
I really miss her.
I'm sorry.
I'm being ridiculous.
- It suits you.
- Being ridiculous?
Being not so in control.
You look different today.
What is it?
Your sex l... |
See?
You're being judgmental, and you don't even know it.
And that's not good, Sarah.
It's not fair!
You're absolutely right.
I'm sorry.
- Let me rephrase the question.
- You do that.
But I'm still gonna know that you're not on my side.
- I'm not on anybody's side.
- Oh, no, Sarah.
If you're not for me, you're agains... |
Good thing I am not a shrink.
One on the nose!
Win a stuffed animal!
- Where'd you learn to shoot?
- Three shots for a buck!
What about you, buddy?
I was a cop.
- What?
- I was a cop.
- Three shots for a buck!
- In Puerto Rico.
Really?
That's surprising.
- Who's next?
Try your luck?
- Why did you quit?
Three shots f... |
Come on.
- It's not really fun.
Yeah.
It is.
Come on.
All right.
No, it's okay.
Do it again.
You need to get both sights lined up.
This goes here.
Now kill the clown.
Go for it.
Come on.
Come on, Sarah.
Yeah!
It's all right.
What's wrong?
Do you want a doctor?
- Can you stand up?
- I don't know.
All right.
Come... |
Let's go.
Hey.
I made you some camomile tea.
- A cop who makes camomile tea.
- That's me.
Tony, did you send me flowers?
Flowers.
No.
Was I supposed to?
Yeah.
Yes.
Wish I had.
Must be another admirer.
I think I should go now.
Sarah, is this a nice way of dumping me?
- I just think we should slow down.
- You mean stop... |
[ Chuckle ]
HE DOESN'T KNOW DICK ABOUT ART.
AH, IT DOESN'T MATTER.
YOU DO.
JUSTIN,
YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU HAD YOUR VERY OWN SHOW.
HUH.
IT'S NOT EXACTLY THE MUSEUM OF MODERN ART.
OOH.
THAT'S NEXT.
YOU WANT SOME- THING TO EAT?
AH, THANKS, HONEY.
I JUST HAD LUNCH...
WITH YOUR FATHER.
OH.
HEY, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT ... |
I'M NOT TAKING YOUR MONEY.
YOU AND MOLLY NEED THAT TO LIVE.
YOUR SISTER AND I WILL BE JUST FINE.
NO, FORGET IT.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT MYSELF.
[ ?
]
?
I'M ONE OF THE DAMES ?
?
WHO'S ONE OF THE KNIGHTS ?
?
MY FRIDAY NIGHT TREAT IS A SEAT FOR THE FIGHTS ?
?
I LOVE TO GO STROKE WITH A VARSITY CREW ?
?
YOU WANNA PLAY S... |
?
BUT I LOVE WHEN I'VE SLIPPED INTO RIPPED CORDUROYS ?
?
BECAUSE I'M ONE OF THE GIRLS ?
?
OH, I'M ONE OF THE GIRLS ?
?
ONE OF THE GIRLS WHO'S ONE OF THE... ?
?
BOYS ?
[ Applause ]
OOH!
IF YOU ASK ME,
NOBODY MAKES A BETTER WOMAN THAT A GAY MAN.
WHAT WOMAN LOOKS LIKE THAT?
BIG RED WIG AND TONNES OF JEWELRY AND GAUDY... |
EXCUSE ME, MISS DEVORE.
YES?
I, UH...
I JUST WANT TO SAY YOUR PERFORMANCE TONIGHT WAS...
SPARKLING.
YEAH, BUBBLING.
EFFERVESCENT.
STOP, YOU'LL MAKE ME BURP.
Michael:
MISS DEVORE,
UM, I-I THOUGHT YOUR PERFORMANCE WAS REALLY GREAT.
WELL, HOW FLATTERING TO RECEIVE SUCH PRAISE FROM YOU...
HANDSOME YOUNG MEN.
NOW, IF YOU'LL... |
PERFORM?
OH-H, I'D LOVE TO.
YOU WOULD?
YOU WOULD?
IF I DIDN'T ALREADY SPEND HALF MY LIFE
DOING BENEFITS.
IF I DO ANY MORE,
THEY'LL HAVE TO THROW ONE FOR ME.
Justin:
I TOLD YOU THAT I CAN PAY FOR IT MYSELF.
Brian:
WITH YOUR SECRET SWISS BANK ACCOUNT?
Justin:
I'LL GET ANOTHER JOB.
A REAL JOB, ONE THAT ACTUALLY PAYS.
YEA... |
FINE THEN, GO AHEAD.
BUT DON'T COME CRYING TO ME WHEN YOU SUCCEED.
I LOVE THAT YOU'D DO ANY- THING FOR ME.
WHO SAID IT WAS FOR YOU?
I MADE AN INVEST- MENT, I WANT IT TO PAY OFF.
HERE'S A DIVIDEND.
[ ?
]
WHO THE FUCK WANTS TO SEE SOME WORN-OUT OLD DRAG QUEEN ANYWAY?
WELL, HONEY, YOU'LL FIND SOMEONE ELSE.
IT'S LIKE BEN ... |
YOU'RE OUR ONLY HOPE.
I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T EVEN WANT HER.
AH, WELL...
THAT WAS BEFORE I FOUND OUT
THAT SHE'S A FRIEND OF THE FAMILY.
I-I'M SURE SHE WOULDN'T REMEMBER ME.
MEL!
MEL!
WHAT?
WHAT'S THE MATER?
LOOK, A LETTER.
WELL, YOU'VE SEEN ONE OF THOSE BEFORE.
IT'S FROM GUS' NEW SCHOOL.
HEY!
TODAY, BABY UNIVERSITY, TOM... |
WELL IF SHE'D MEANT IT, WE'D BE OFF BUYING GUS SCHOOL CLOTHES.
WELL, IT'S DISCRIMINATION, THAT'S WHAT IT IS.
AGAINST OUR SON.
AND FOR SOMETHING THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM.
[ Crumpling of paper ]
Photographer:
OH, YEAH.
YEAH, ONE MORE LIKE THAT.
Michael:
I KNOW YOU'RE BUSY, MISS DEVORE.
THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE?
YES.... |
OH MY GOD, I REMEMBER VIC.
IS HE THE ONE YOU TOLD ME WAS SICK?
YEAH, HE'S DOING A LOT BETTER NOW...
NOW THAT HE'S ON THE COCKTAILS.
I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT.
TELL HIM I SAID HELLO.
SO, IF VIC IS YOUR UNCLE,
THEN, DEBBIE MUST BE YOUR MOTHER.
YOU KNEW MY MOM?
KNEW HER?
I DATED HER.
[ Chuckling ] YOU?
I MEAN...
WELL, BACK THEN... |
JUST, NOW, THERE'S MORE TO LOOK AT.
THIS BENEFIT OF YOURS, UM, WHEN IS IT?
FRIDAY NIGHT.
TELL YOU WHAT.
I'LL BE THERE,
AFTER MY SHOW.
THAT'S SO COOL.
HUH!
YOU'RE DOING A REALLY GOOD DEED.
THANK YOU.
DON'T THANK ME, PAY ME.
SO, HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOU SAW MY MOM?
UM...
WELL, NOT SINCE THAT SUMMER AFTER GRADUAT... |
YOU REALIZE THIS OFFICIALLY MAKES YOUR MOTHER
THE BIGGEST FAG HAG OF ALL THE TIME.
FIRST VIC,
AND THEN YOU, AND NOW...
HER HIGH SCHOOL SWEET- HEART.
OH, HI, DEBBIE.
HEY, GUYS.
HI, BABY.
I HEAR YOUR OLD BOYFRIEND'S IN TOWN.
Emmett:
WHOO!
WHAT THE FUCK'S HE TALKING ABOUT?
I MET SOMEONE THAT YOU USED TO KNOW.
YEAH?
WHO... |
HE JUST SAID THAT YOU TWO USED TO GO OUT.
YEAH, IT WAS LIKE A MILLION YEARS AGO.
I-I WOULDN'T KNOW HIM IF I F...
FELL OVER HIM.
IT'S CRAZY.
[ ?
]
SHOULDN'T YOU BE HOLDING ON TO THAT?
IT DOESN'T MUCH MATTER SINCE IT'S MY LAST ONE.
LE BEAU GESTE.
SORELY LACKING IN FICTION
SINCE THE 19th CENTURY FRENCH NOVEL.
HOW NOBLE ... |
I MEAN, IT REALLY SUCKS OUT THERE.
WHY DO YOU THINK I'M DOING THIS?
YOU KNOW IF THEY'RE LOOKING FOR MORE DANCERS?
GARY'S ALWAYS LOOKING.
[ ?
]
Michael:
SEEING WHAT A DORK I WAS?
OH, YOU WEREN'T A DORK.
NO, I WAS A DORK.
FAT CHANCE.
HUH.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW FAT.
NO, YOU WERE MORE A DWEEB.
THANKS.
BRIAN,
ON THE OTHER H... |
EVERY TIME I'D ASK ABOUT BACK THEN,
SHE'D SAY, "I DID MY HOMEWORK AND LISTENED TO MY FOLKS.
AND YOU SHOULD DO THE SAME."
HUH.
SHE MUST'VE BEEN A CHEERLEADER.
HUH?
OR MAYBE THOSE WERE VIC'S.
HUH.
OH...
HER YEARBOOK.
HMM.
CHECK OUT THE GIRLS' HAIRDOS.
[ Chuckling ] YEAH.
Michael:
REALLY...
BORING.
REALLY STRAIGHT.
WHEW.
... |
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