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Hi, Jane. Nothing, nothing against smoothies, but I wouldn't mind having some real food sometime. Maybe we could go to a restaurant. You mean, like, outside the hospital? Yeah, you know, like a date. A date? Oh, um... There's a lovely little bistro down the street. I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. Uh, that sounds, uh, just... that sounds great! I mean, I hope that's okay. Yeah! Uh... So, i was, um, I was thinking about how that sounded just now the, uh, the date thing. I really sprang it on you out of nowhere. Yes, you did! Jane looked cold. Oh...thanks. Look, we're, um, we're both in difficult situations. I've been in mine a lot longer than you have, so, uh, if you're not ready, I understand. If you ever should be, uh, let... let me know. All right. Wow, I am really hungry! Well, then let's, um, let's go to the blood bank and swipe some...some sugar cookies. Oh, uh, you might want to give Jane a sponge bath, cos she had a little...accident. - Hullo? - Hey, Lynette, it's me! Are you having a party?
Shh! Shh! Quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet! Yeah, no, no, of course not. In fact, we're just having a quiet afternoon at home. Um, the kids are so bored! Tom and I were thinking of taking 'em out for ice cream. Well, would you tell Kayla that mommy called to check on her? Oh, I will, I will, and I'll see you tonight. Okay. Bye. You think she bought it? No, I think she'll be over here in ten minutes. Okay, let's move, let's move! I've got 10 bucks here for the kid who can carry the most stuff, okay? Hey, Gaby, it's Lynette. Got a little emergency here. Is it okay if we use your backyard? Great, great! And we take complete responsibility for whatever the pony does. Okay, hope you get this message soon! Oh! My only concern would be the neighborhood. We really need a quiet place for our retirement. Oh! Are you kidding? There's no place in Fairview that's more peaceful. Stay off the pony! Okay, guys... Come on, come on,come on!
Let me show you the living room! Okay, go on in. Got the balloons? Good, good. All right. Okay, all right, that's it. Everybody's in! Where's the cake? Oh, crap! Yoo-hoo! Anybody home? - Hello? - Hey, Nora! Wow! We weren't expecting you until 7:00. So where's Kayla? I thought I told you Tom took the kids to the movies. You said ice cream! Uh-huh...after the movies. Movies, then ice cream... an american tradition. So, is something wrong? To be honest, I thought that you were lying and having a party. I guess I was wrong. Oh, apology accepted. Want me to walk you to your car? Where did everybody go? Nora, look, I am sorry, I lied, but you know, you gave me no choice, and... Lynette, I want my daughter. Where's the damn party?
No, I'm not telling! Where's the party? No! No, no! If you want in, you're gonna have to go through me! I want my kid, Lynette. Kayla! Kayla, come out here now! What is going on? Well, first you have a party, and you don't invite me. And then you lie about it. So now, we're leavin'. Wait a minute! Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, Kayla! I'm sorry. We're...we're sorry. We...we shouldn't have done that. But look, Kayla is having such a good time. Why don't we all just come on in and have some cake, and we can just... Lynette, Lynette! We can just have fun. Could you excuse me for one second? Lynette! Okay, okay, I know, but what else could I do? I'm just thinking of Kayla. I know you are, Tom, and I know you love her. Why else do you think I'm willing to put up with all this for six months? Why do you think I'm willing to say to my college roommates, "Yes, that's my husband's love child and her mother in our Christmas picture"? Because I am your wife!
You always come first with me. Do I still come first with you? I guess I'll see you later, Nora. Well... I'm taking Kayla. Well, that's a shame! I've gotta go hoist a pinata. Mommy, they have a pinata. Fine! I'll be back at 7:00. But there had better be a corner piece of cake waiting for me. Come on, Kayla, go. Go have some fun. Go have some... Thank you for that. Sure. I'll be back in 20 minutes. Gonna go buy a pinata? I sure am. Xiao-mei? Come on out! I have your lunch. Xiao-mei, your favorite soap is on! There's a doctor fondling a patient on the operating table. You're missing it! Xiao-mei? Xiao-mei? Hey! Quick question. Have you, by any chance, seen Xiao-mei?
I can't believe you lost our baby. I did not lose our baby! Stop saying that. I know exactly where it is. Inside some crazy Chinese woman who also stole half a chicken from my fridge! Hi! Hi! Liang, right? Remember me? Xiao-mei lives with me. You came over. We had lunch. You got some nerve showing your face here. Get out! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey! Uh, what happened to that famous Chinese hospitality? Xiao-mei called me. She said you threatened to send her back to China to work as a slave in a rice paddy. I... I may have mentioned deportation, but I didn't think she'd take it personally. - Are you crazy? - It was banter! I mean, has this country come to the point where you can't joke with the help? You treat Xiao-mei like dirt! She's just a poor, innocent girl trying to live the american dream, just like your ancestors! Oh, don't give me that "We are the world" crap! That woman's uterus is harboring a stolen baby. So if you know where she is, you better start talking! Or else, I'm gonna get the health department down here and take a closer look at what you're serving as mu shu pork!
Boy, those people just don't have a sense of humor, do they? I'm telling you, at this number, it's not gonna last long. Well, we like the neighborhood, but we've heard that some odd things have gone on with this house. Complete fabrication. Malicious lies spread by jealous competitors! Now you've gotta check out this storage. You're not gonna believe what you can fit in here! And now, the media room. Wow, you certainly devoured that ice cream! Can i get you anything else? You tell me! Hmm. Orson... I thought we... Orson... Oh, I just assumed now that we're engaged... Well, does that change our core values? No. But when I saw you standing in front of the freezer with a clingy silk dress, let's just say, Well, that challenged them. Well, I thought we agreed we wanted our wedding night to be perfect. Yes, but actors want opening night to be perfect. That's why they rehearse! It'll be better this way. Now...can I get you some more ice cream? Not in that dress. Hi. So I need to ask you something. Ian, you know, from across the hall... you met him. Anyway...he sort of asked me out...
On a date. I know you're thrown. I was thrown, too. But he's really nice, and... I could sort of use someone to talk to... Who also talks back. The thing is... I'm sort of lonely... And the past six months have been really hard on me. So what I need is... I need to know if it's okay with you if I go out with him. Because if it's not, I won't. In fact, I'd like nothing better than for you to just wake up right now and tell me not to go out with him. Just wake up and tell me. Wake up. Please! All right. I'll see you tomorrow. I love you. It is really just dinner. I'm just dropping off Carlos, and then I'll be by to pick her up. Okay, thanks, Edie. Xiao-mei's fine. Crisis averted. No harm, no foul. How can you say that? You endangered the life of our baby today. Don't you dare give me that attitude. You have no idea what I've been going through these past six months! Here we go!
I have had to wait hand and foot on your mistress. I mean, imagine if the day after you found out about John Rowland, you had to make his lunch and rub his feet! Yeah, well, John Rowland wasn't carrying our kid. Forgive me for being concerned about our surrogate. Xiao-mei is going to be fine. Once that baby comes, her slate is wiped clean. She's gonna walk away, go off and live her American dream. Me? I'm gonna be stuck, a single mother raising a child alone. Haggling with lawyers on who gets the kid at Christmas. My american dream is officially dead. I'm sorry. Thank you. But just so you know, my dream hasn't exactly... Okay, so we will see you saturday, and please pretend to be surprised! Bye. You told someone else? Bree, I thought the whole point of the party was to announce our engagement. I just can't help it. I like telling people! Makes me feel... I don't know. Makes me feel like I'm starting over. It feels good. Feels good to me, too, though. Ah, no hands. See? Oh, you don't have to wash those. I already did them. Oh, I found some streaks...
So I'm wiping them down with undiluted red wine vinegar. I've never heard of that. Oh, sure... For tougher spots, I use a 50-50 mix of denatured alcohol and water. And for those really intractable stains, I mean... We're talking shower doors... I wipe on lacquer thinner with a towel. Bree? Oh, Orson! Uh...excuse me. Did you lose something? No. I just thought...for you... Oh! Um, I don't do that. Why not? I'm a republican! I'm a libertarian! I believe in minimizing the role of the state and maximizing individual rights. But, Orson! Trust me. I know what I'm doing. Okay. Aah! Oh, no! What, you didn't just crack that veneer again, did you? I have to go! Go? Go where? And then it was like something inside ruptured.
Well, not so much a rupture as a spasm. Waves of this hot clutching! I think I might have had a small stroke. How severe were the pains? Well, that's the odd thing. I mean, there was no pain per se. In fact, it wasn't entirely unpleasant. What were you doing at the time? I was, uh, with my fiance, we were lying down...resting. I'm gonna take a wild swing here, were you having sex? Sort of. Ms. Van De Kamp, I think you may have had an orgasm. No, no, no. I had orgasms before. Mm, how would you describe them? Oh, you know, that warm sensation, that tingling feeling of relief when it's over. No, no, this was much... Better? Yes. That's cos it was an orgasm! Oh... Well, I'll be darned. Hi! Can I help you? Are you Bree Van De Kamp? Yes, and you are? Carolyn Bigsby. I was Orson's neighbor. Oh, well, come on in. Let's dry you off and get you a drink.
I didn't come here to celebrate. Carolyn. Engaged again? That was quick work. Does she know you killed your wife? My wife left me. And no one ever heard from her again. Not me, not her family. Just dropped off the face of the earth. Orson, what is she talking about? Didn't tell you that part, did he? All right, Carolyn, you've made your little scene. You keep your hands off me. Don't let him fool you. Get away from him now while you can. Please, leave my house. Fine. Be a fool. Marry him. Just don't be surprised when you go missing, too. I'm sorry you had to endure that. Your wife disappeared? I tried to find her. Her family claimed not to have heard from her. Personally, I think she was just trying to punish me. So are you still married? No, I was granted a divorce on grounds of abandonment. Bree... You can't possibly think that... No, of course not.
I love you! And I love you. Orson... My hand. The buffet is open. Bree... Every storm brings with it hope... that somehow by morning, everything will be made clean again, and even the most troubling stains will have disappeared, like the doubts over his innocence... or the consequence of his mistake. Like the scars of his betrayal... Or the memory of his kiss. So we wait for the storm to pass, hoping for the best. Even though we know in our hearts some mistakes are so indelible nothing can wash them away. I have another child You're the me who gave me the permission, remember? (bree) do i know you? orson hodge, susan's dentist friend. for others,t lo new love will bloom... that may never arrive. (mary alice) something awful happened on lake view drive last year. to understand why, you need to know that when alma hodge awoke that morning, she had no idea this would be the day she'd leave her husband. certainly, it began normally enough. she put away the groceries per his instructions. she hung his dry cleaning exactly as he had requested. she folded the towels just as he had taught her. it was just before noon... mama loves her baby. does the baby love mama? mama! something inside alma broke, and she decided it was time... to fly away of course, she knew better than to say this to her husband. he thought alma was happy, and orson hodge did not like to be contradicted. so she waited till he left for work, and then... oh! (squawks) baby, you gotta come down now.
mama's in a hurry. hurry! hurry! if you don't get back in your cage right now, i'm gonna have to leave you behind. please! (gasps) (squawks) the next day, carolyn bigsby stopped by, and like most nosy neighbors, she knew you learned more if you didn't knock. alma? are you home? carolyn? i'm just looking for alma. we had a coffee date this morning. she never showed. uh, alma left yesterday. left? we had a bit of a row. oh. harvey and i thought we heard some raised voices. so where'd she go? don't know, but i wouldn't worry about it. i'm sure she's fine. (parrot) orson, no! orson, no! (parrot squawking) so if i hear from alma, i'll let her know that you dropped by. yes, orson hodge was a man who did not like to be contradicted... by anyone. captioning provided by touchstone television, abc, inc. and brought to you by ford- every day, someone somewhere makes a bold move. there's a car company for people like that. it doesn't rain very often in the town of fairview, but when it does, it pours. it was on just such a day that bree van de kamp went on her first date with her new friend orson hodge- a date that ended with a kiss in the rain. this occurred just as gabrielle solis was conferring with her new divorce lawyer and describing in vivid detail her husband's affair with their maid, who also happened to be their surrogate. meanwhile... lynette scavo was busy meeting her husband's illegitimate daughr... here, you n have this.
while resisting the urge to strangle the girl's mother. this happened just after susan mayer learned mike delfino had been badly injured in a hit-and-run accident and was now in a coma at fairview memorial hospital. at that same moment, edie britt was putting up a "for sale" sign on the lawn of the house where i once lived. edie had also planned to spruce up the property by washing down the driveway. but she was pleased to see the rain had already taken care of that. this is what rainy days are good for. they make everything clean again, which is necessary on a street like wisteria lane... where everything can get so messy. (thunder crashes) welcome, welcome. oh. don't worry about the wate the floors are laminated. here's a flyer. (mrs. mccluskey) and then the police found her severed fingers in the garage. (woman) oh, no! and they never found felicia's body. i wouldn't be surprised if someday you opened a cabinet, and... hello! karen, dear. have you seen the marble backsplash? oh, i just must show it to you. excuse us. what are you trying to do to me, you backstabbing cow? they asked why the owner was selling. i told them that paul young was in jail. they asked why. conversation has a flow. well, knock it off. i've been trying to unload this house of horrors for months now, and you are not helping. ah-ah-ah! those are for potential buyers, you withered old mooch. good luck trying to find one of those. maybe you'll have an easier time with the applewhite house and that rec room in the basement. get out. get out. get out, get out, get out! (man) edie, uh, do you have a moment?
yes, yes, yes, yes. (boy) yeah! yeah! (boy) come on! is kayla ready yet? (nora) just a sec. (lowervoice) honey, thank you for this. i know it's a little weird, i mean, to send out a family christmas photo with your husband's love child, but it means a lot to her to feel included. no problem, she's a great little girl. okay? all right, let's do this. i am just going to, um, check the focus. nora. lynette. (chuckles nervously) what are you doing there? well, it's a family photo, right? tom, could i-could i- could i check your tie again? she sat down so quickly, i didn't know what to say. how about, "you're in the frame, bitch. move"? no, i am sorry. how much of her crap do i have to put up with? first, it's the little drop-bys. then she's inviting herself to dinner three times a week. now she wants to be in our christmas photo? i'm sorry. no, that's not happening. hey, guys. don't fight. it's the holidays. nora... this is just for our family. i would prefer if you weren't in it.
okay. kayla, honey, we gotta go. they're kicking us out. we didn't say that kayla couldn't be in in the photo. yeah, well, you know what? i'm i'm not your family, then she's not your family. it's okay. i don't have to be in the picture. fine! fine. no, absolutely fine. (lowers voice) put crazy at the end, and we can crop her out later. fair enough. fair enough. hey, everything's okay. it's okay. come on, guys. come on back. (nora) thank you, lynette. back to the christmas spirit that i was looking for. ten seconds! (camera beeping) (sighs) i think this is a little stiff. i have a really fuidea. (giggles) (gasps) (boys) ugh! (camera shutter clicks) where are my crackers? we're out, but i got you a pickle. pickles and soup? who eats that? you know, that's all i got. ever heard of a store? you did not just do that.
i hate pickles. pick it up. doctor say i only get out of bed to pee. better for baby, remember? don't go. i need you to rub my feet. they're sore, and doctor say- oh, cut it out, xiao-mei. the doctor didn't say anything. about rubbing your chubby stumps. rub 'em yourself. you treat me like dirt. would you rather go live with mr. soils in a dingy one-bedroom apartment with no air conditioning and no cable, huh? no, i didn't think so. you are meanest person i know. i am the meanest person. you've been in this country a year. modify your nouns, damn it! what... a... bitch. i can't wait for you to pop out that baby, because when you do, i am putting you on the first plane back to shanghai, and you're gonna be on all fours in a rice paddy before the epidural wears off! but you promised to get me apartment in chinatown, so i can work for myriend in restaurant, start a new life. tell it to my chinese friend- sue me! you know, we do have people here in the hospital who could do that. but i like doing it. i think mike would want me to. oops. oh. so have you got the results of his latest m.r.i. yet? i'm afraid there was no change. oh. well, how long until you can do another one? i don't want to tell you not to be optimistic, but- look, i know it's been six months, but he could still come out of it, right? i saw in the news there was this woman in peru.
she woke up after ten years. there's a reason that made the news. you might think i'm naive, but i know he's coming back to me. susan- don't say it. you just keep doing your job, and i'll keep doing mine. oops. (thunder rumbling) that risotto was perfect. just like you. listen, i hope you saved room for dessert. i got us something special from a wonderful little bakery downtown. oh! that is so adorable, but i don't think i can eat another bite. well, here, let me take half. what do you say, bree? will you marry me? (exhales deeply) this is a little sudden, isn't it? we've on known each other six months, but i've loved you every minute of it. but if you don't share my feelings- no, no. um... i do. it's just that, um, i can't help being cautious. since rex, i haven't been exactly lucky in love. i used to feel the same way. when alma left me, i was shattered, but i realize now it was the luckiest day of my life because it meant i was free when i met you. luck can change, bree. let me change yours. yes. yes? ian hainsworth had been miserable ever since a tragic horseback riding accident had left his wife jane in a coma. for the next three years, he shied away from all social contact because he wanted to be alone with his grief. then one day, he met susan mayer, who, because of her own tragedy, was just as miserable as he was. and a friendship slowly blossomed, because as everyone knows, misery loves company, and ian was loving this company... more and more every day.
two... three-oh, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch. ooh! itch, itch, itch. do the nurses know you do this? oh, hey! um, you weren't supposed to see that. well, clearly. now, you can buy my silence if you'll have coffee with me. oh, i would love to, but i think i'm in a rush here. i'm supposed to meet my girlfriends for lunch at 1:00. is it 1:00 yet? well, you tell me. i notice you're always rushing into the hall to check the time, so i, um... well, i bought you this. oh! wow. (chuckles nervously) um... i- i-i can't accept this. this is too extravagant. oh, no, it's nothing. there was a guy on the sidewalk- had a bunch of them laid out on a blanket. if you look closely, it says "folex." (chuckles) still, i- well, in that case, thank you for my cheap knockoff. (laughs) oh, my god. i'm te. hi! hi, hi, hi. hi! i'm so sorry i'm late. no, that's fine. wow, white gloves. what, are we having luncheon in the 1880s? well, it's a very elegant club.
you know, orson's been a member here for years. it'll be even nicer when they finish the construction. so you were very mysterious on the phone. why did you wanna have lunch? well, i wanted to invite you to a dinner that orson and i are having this saturday. so you asked us to a meal to announce another meal? that's so... bree of you. (chuckles) what's the occasion? oh, um, no occasion. just a little get-together. what are you being so coy about? i'm not being coy. she said coyly. if you don't tell us, we're not coming. oh, all right. i wanted to wait and make a proper announcement, but... orson and i are engaged. oh, my gosh! oh, let me see! (lynette) wow! you move fast. i know it's quick, but it just feels so right. orson is just the most warm, wonderful, generous man. oh, generous. that means he's good in the sack. actually, uh, no. we haven't had sex yet. we're waiting until we get married. (laughing loudly) oh, my god. you're serious? (gabrielle) no sex at all?
not even... whatever you're alluding to, no. but-but you're gonna get married. you wouldn't buy a car without at least taking it for a ttle test drive. it's not like you've never slept with a guy you weren't married to. true. uh, i have in the past given myself away too freely. how charming of you to bring that up while i'm announcing my engagement. but i like to think that i have learned from my mistakes. so the dinner is at 8:00, and when we make the announcement, please, everybody, look surprised. okay. no, don't worry. i'm just gonna replay the look i had when i found out you hadn't banged him yet. (gasps) (helium inflating loudly) (high-pitched voice) hey, sexy mama. (laughs) that's cute. (normal voice) so you invited kayla to parker's birthday party, right? of course. and? and? what did you tell nora? i told her that we were picking up kayla for a quiet afternoon at home. you lied? yeah, you're damn straight i lied. i will not have that lunatic ruining one more family gathering. but kayla's gonna, you know, tell nora that we had a party, and i'm just afraid that nora's gonna blow a gasket. what? so what are you saying, you're more afraid of nora than you are of me? is-is that what you think i meant because that is so not what i meant. you scare the hell out of me, baby. thank you. the coffee machine was brok, so i got us a couple of smoothies. they had strawberry and strawberry. well, i hate strawberry, so give me the strawberry.
(chuckles) hi, jane. (ian) nothing - nothing against smoothies, but i wouldn't mind having some real food sometime. may-maybe we could go to a restaurant. you mean, like, outside the hospital? yeah, you know, I- like a date. a date? (gasps) oh, um... there's a lovely little bistro down the street. (whispers) i'm sorry. i'm really, really sorry. (normal voice) uh, wl, that sounds, uh, just- that sounds great! i mean, i hope that's okay. yeah! uh... so, i was, um, i was thinking about how that sounded just now- the, uh, the-the date thing. i really sprang it on you out of nowhere. yes, you did. jane looked cold. oh. thanks. look, we're, um, we're both in difficult situations. i've been in mine a lot longer than you have, so, uh, if you're not ready, i understand. if you ever should be, uh, let-let me know. all right. (sighs) wow, i am really hungry. well, then let's, um, let's go to the blood bank and swipe some- some sugar cookies. oh, uh, you might want to give jane a sponge bath 'cause she had a little... accident. are you having a party? shh! shh! (whispers loudly) quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet! shh! yeah, no, no, of course not. in fact, we're just having a quiet afternoon at home. um, the kids are so bored.
tom and i were thinking of taking 'em out for ice cream. well, would you tell kayla that mommy called to check on her? oh, i will, i will, and i'll see you tonight. okay. bye. you think she bought it? no. i think she'll be over here in ten minutes. okay, let's move! let's move! i've got 10 bucks here for the kid who can carry the most stuff, okay? hey, gaby, it's lynette. got a little emergency here. is it okay if we use your backyard? great. great. and we take complete responsibility for whatever the pony does. hope you get this message soon. oh! my only concern would be the neighborhood. we really need a quiet place for our retirement. oh, are you kidding? there's no place in fairview that's more peaceful. (lynette) stay off the pony! okay, guys, come on, come on,come on! (children screaming and laughing) let me show you the media room. okay, go on in. got the balloons? good. good. all right. okay, all right, that's it. everybody's in. where's the cake? oh, crap!
(nora) yoo-hoo! anybody home? hello? hey, nora. wow. we weren't expecting you until 7:00. so where's kayla? i thought i told you. tom took the kids to the movies. unh-unh. you said ice cream. uh-huh. after the movies. movies, then ice cream-- an american tradition. so, is something wrong? to be honest, i thought that you were lying and having a party. i guess i was wrong. oh, apology accepted. want me to walk you to your car? (toilet flushes) where did everybody go? nora, look, i am sorry i lied, but you know, you gave me no choice, and-- lynette, i want my daughter. where's the damn party? no, i'm not telling. where's thparty? (sighs) no! no, no! if you want in, you're gonna have to go through me. i want my kid, lynette. kayla! kayla, come out here now! what is going on? well, first you have a party, and yodon't invite me, and then you lie about it, so now we're leavin'. well, wait a minute.
hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, kayla. i'm sorry. we're--we're sorry. we--we shouldn't have done that. but look, kayla is having such a good time. why don't we all just come on in and have some cake, and we can just-- lynette, lynette. we can just have fun. could you excuse me for one second? lynette. okay, okay, i know, but what else could i do? i'm just thinking of kayla. i know you are, tom, and i know you love her. why else do you think i'm willing to put up with all this for six months? why do you think i'm willing to say to my college roommates, "yes, that's my husband's love child and her mother in our christmas picture"? because i am your wife! you always come first with me. do i still come first with you? i guess i'll see you later, nora. well... i'm taking kayla. well, that's a shame. i've gotta go hoist a pi�ta. mommy, they have a pi�ta. fine! i'll be back at 7:00. but there had tter be a corner piece of cake waiting for me. come on, kayla. go--go have some fun. go have some... thank you for that. sure.
i'll be back in 20 minutes. gonna go buy a pi�ta? i sure am. xiao-mei? come on out! i have your lunch. xiao-mei, your favorite soap is on. there's a doctor fondling a patient on the operating table. you're missing it! xiao-mei? (man on tv) oh, i'll have to examine you. (woman) oh, again? xiao-mei? hey, quick question. have you, by any chance, seen xiao-mei? i can't believe you lost our baby. i did not lose our baby. stop saying that. i know exactly where it is-- inside some crazy chinese woman who also stole half a chicken from my fridge. (all speaking loudly in chinese) hi! hi. liang, right? remember me? xiao-mei lives with me. you came over. we had lunch. you got some nerve showing your face here. get out. whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! hey! uh, what happened to that famous chinese hospitality?
xiao-mei called me. she said you threatened to send her back to china to work as a slave in a rice paddy. i... i may have mentioned deportation, but i didn't think she'd take it personally. are you crazy? it was banter. i mean, has this country come to the point where you can't joke with the help? you treat xiao-mei like dirt. she's just a poor, innocent girl trying to live the american dream, just like your ancestors. oh, don't give me that "we are the world" crap. that woman's uterus is harboring a stolen baby. so if you know where she is, you better start talking, or else i'm gonna get the health department down here and take a closer look at what you're serving as mu shu pork. boy, those people just don't have a sense of humor, do they? i'm telling you, at this number, it's not gonna last long. well, we like the neighborhood, but we've heard that some odd things have gone on with this house. complete fabrication. malicious lies spread by jealous competitors. now you've gotta check out this storage. you're not gonna believe what you can fit in here. and now the media room. wow, you certainly devoured that ice cream. can i get you anything else? you tell me. hmm. orson... mmm. mmm. mmm. i thought we... orson. mm? oh, i just assumed now that we're engaged... well, does that change our core values? no. but when i saw you standing in front of the freezer with a clingy silk dress, let's just say, well, that challenged them. (chuckles) well, i thought we agreed we wanted our wedding night to be perfect.
yes, but actors want opening night to be perfect. that's why they rehearse. (chuckles) it'll be better this way. now... can i get you some more ice cream? not in that dress. hi. so i need to ask you something. ian, you know, from across the hall-- you met him. anyway... he sort of asked me out... on a date. i know you're thrown. i was thrown, too. but he's really nice, and... i could sort of use someone to talk to... who also talks back. the thing is... i'm sort of lonely... and the past six months have been really hard on me. so what i need is... i need to know that it's okay with you if i go out with him. because if it's not, i won't. in fact, i'd like nothing better than for you to just wake up right now and tell me not to go out with him. just wake up and tell me. wake up. please! all right. (sighs) i'll see you tomorrow. i love you. it is really just dinner. i'm just dropping off carlos, and then i'll be by to pick her up. okay, thanks, edie. xiao-mei's fine. crisis averted. no harm, no foul. how can you say that? you endangered the life of our baby today. don't you dare give me that attitude. you have no idea what i've been going through these past six months.
(sighs) here we go. i have had to wait hand and foot on your mistress. i mean, imagine if the day after you found out about john rowland, you had to make his lunch and rub his feet. yeah, well, john rowland wasn't carrying our kid. forgive me for being concerned about our surrogate. xiao-mei is going to be fine. once that baby comes, her slate is wiped clean. she's gonna walk away, go off and live her american dream. me? i'm gonna be stuck, a single mother raising a child alone, haggling with lawyers on who gets the kid at christmas. my american dream is officially dead. i'm sorry. thank you. but just so you know, my dream hasn't exactly-- (tires screech, engine roars) okay, so we will see you saturday, and please pretend to be surprised. bye. you told someone else? bree, i thought the whole point of the party was to announce our engagement. i just can't help it. i like telling people. makes me feel... i don't know. makes me feel like i'm starting over. it feels good. feels good to me, too, though. hmm. (chuckles) ah, no hands. see? ahem. hmm. hmm.
oh, you don't have to wash those. i already did th. oh, i found some streaks, so i'm wiping them down with undiluted red wine vinegar. i've never heard of that. oh, sure. for tougher spots, i use a 50-50 mix of denatured alcohol and water. ah. and for those really intractable stains-- i mean, we're talking shower doors-- i wipe on lacquer thinner with a towel. bree? (gasps) (moaning) (moaning continues) oh, orson. ohh! (grunting) (giggling) (groaning) uh... excuse me. hmm? did you lose something? no. i just thought... for you... oh! um, i don't do that. why not? i'm a republican. i'm a libertarian. i believe in minimizing the role of the state and maximizing individual rights. but, orson! trust me. i know what i'm doing. okay.
aah! oh, no! what, you didn't just crack that veneer again, did you? i have to go. go? go where? and then it was like something inside ruptured. well, not so much a rupture as a spasm. waves of this hot clutching. i think i might have had a small stroke. how severe were the pains? well, that's the odd thing. i mean, there was no pain per se. in fact, it wasn't entirely unpleasant. what were you doing at the time? i was, uh, with my fianc? we were lying down... resting. i'm gonna take a wild swing here. were you having sex? sort of. ms. van de kamp, i think you may have had an orgasm. no, no, no. i had orgasms before. mm, how would you describe them? oh, you know, that warm sensation, that tingling feeling of relief when it's over. no, no, this was much... better? yes. that's 'cause it was an orgasm. oh.
well, i'll be darned. hi. can i help you? are you bree van de kamp? yes, and you are? carolyn bigsby. i was orson's neighbor. oh, well, come on in. let's dry you off and get you a drink. i didn't come here to celebrate. carolyn. engaged again? that was quick work. does she know you killed your wife? my wife left me. and no one ever heard from her again. not me, not her family. just dropped off the face of the earth. orson, what is she talking about? didn't tell you that part, did he? all right, carolyn, you've made your little scene. you keep your hands off me. don't let him fool you. get away from him now while u can. please leave my house. fine. be a fool. marry him. just don't be surprised when you go missing, too. i'm sorry you had to endure that. your wife... disappeared? i tried to find her.
her family claimed not to have heard from her. personally, i think she was just trying to punish me. ... are you still married? no, i was granted a divorce on grounds of abandonment. bree... you can't possibly think that-- no, of course not. i love you. and i love you. orson... my hand. (speaking indistinctly) the buffet is open. bree... every storm brings with it hope... that somehow by morning, everything will be made clean again, and even the most troubling stains will have disappeared, like the doubts over his innocence... or the consequence of his mistake. like the scars of his betrayal... or the memory of his kiss. so we wait for the storm to pass, hoping for the best. even though we know in our hearts... That empire was born from the ashes the barbarian conquests. Spanning 15 time zones ... and a sixth of the whole mass terrestrial world. First of all you need to consider its enormous size. After 400 years of chaos, The Russian Empire was forged ... by Czars of immense power, whose ambition ... was so colossal as the country itself. She wrote a their corresponding ... "I can not stop building. Building is like a disease. It's almost like alcoholism. " These visionaries led Russia the path of greatness ... adapting technologies ... conquering territories and building an empire. But the same will that supplied the thirst for eternal glory ... eventually devour the people themselves. Moscow, 1480 ... one czar decided achieve power unprecedented. Seu nome, Ivã III. For centuries, its people been under the heel ... the most brutal warriors Eurasia ... were from Mongolia, Tatars. But Ivan III resolved I would do everything to defeat them. No hesitation, tore down the treaty ligava to the Tartars ... and stated that Russia belonged to him.
Now the future of the Russian people was at stake. If Ivan lost, all perish ... if he won, Russia would become the land of the czars. Ola, sou Peter Weller. They say that the history of Russia is the story of their cities. Russia, as we know, was born in the ninth century ... when several people began to gather ... around a single dominant clan, Kievan Rus called. The clan, who was from Ukraine, migrated here ... for a forest area surrounded by several rivers and lakes ... and started a small village, Call Novgorod ... meaning "New City". Oral tradition tells us that life in Novgorod ... was so chaotic, tumultuous people decided to call ... a Viking warrior, named Rurik, across the Baltic ... to come here and establish order. In Novgorod, From Kiev Rus clan flourished. Adopted the religion and technology neighbors, the Byzantines ... and built new cities as the population grew. One of the warehouses located in the fertile lands of the West ... Chamou-soi Moscou. Moscow, whose official year Established in 1147 is ... was a small wooden fort in a river ... chamava that Moscow "Moskva". Meanwhile clan members ... became known as Russians. However, without rulers, or defenses ... Russian cities were easy target for the invasion ... the most aggressive warriors, Tatars. In 1237, 120,000 Tatars Knights ... crossed the river Volga, to invade. The first Russians were no match for this strong cavalry. For nearly 24 months, the Tartars devastated Russia ... but for the authorities, the invasion was an opportunity ... to negotiate with the invaders and better rebuild the city. The rise of Moscow began in the fourteenth century ... from a political game clever, cunning and ruthless ... Part of the great princes Moscow ... who managed to ingratiate Tartar chiefs ... and collect taxes the other Russian principalities. Under the Tartar Protection, Moscow began to drain ... the resources of other cities. Territories annexed ended forming a single Muscovite state. However, leaders still had to pay ... the Tatar warriors hated. That all changed in 1462, with Ivan III. Ivan came to power resolved putting an end to the Tatar rule. Adotou the title of Great Prince all the Russian ... and devised a plan to defeat the Tartars. I think Ivan had all the necessary features ... Tsar to be a success. He was really great ... was ambitious, opportunistic, ruthless and awake. The new czar start by marriage ... and chose the princess of the empire ... who had given her religion and architecture, Byzantium.
With this alliance, Ivan adopted the Byzantine symbol ... Double Headed Eagle and called Russia the Third Rome. In 1472 ... Tsar began build own legacy. Commissioned a cathedral, that would be the clear sign ... that Russia was a power to be recognized. The workers began working on the great work ... that same year. But Mother Nature had other ideas. In 1474, a small tremor earth shook Moscow. Two years of construction turned into a pile of rubble. Erected in rough stone, on fragile foundation ... was a likely crash. Ivan turned disaster to opportunity. At that point, Ivan III did what ... a shrewd ruler would ... searched for the best in the business. And the best architects this period ... the fifteenth century, were in Italy. Ivan thought Aristotle Fioravanti. Known and skilled master architect of Italy. But before rebuilding Cathedral of Moscow ... it was necessary to demolish what had been. In the first of several innovations, Fioravanti used military technology ... in the form of a ram to overthrow the ruins of the cathedral. This left the Muscovites awe ... which had taken months to erect, without success ... Fioravanti dropped three weeks. Then Fioravanti started new construction ... what is known today as Assumption Cathedral. started inspirational local churches in old ... but gave him touches Western technology. The result revolutionized Russian architecture. To start, the foundation. Instead of a trench filled with stones ... Typical constructions Russian medieval ... he robbed this ditch and dug large wooden stakes ... which is a much more stable environment to sustain a building ... so it does not crack or deformed ... and thus collapse. Innovations Fioravanti not stopped. Instead of stacking stones, as usual ... he chose desencontrar blocks for mooring ... in order to achieve stability. Finished walls, he turned ... the delicate and dangerous construction the vaulted ceilings. When you get the vault, the ceiling ... There is too much weight on the walls.
So the third element he introduced ... were the iron screens. Were iron bars introduced in masonry ... and went to the vault. This serves as a way more supporting ... it ties the structure. Finally, instead of the round stone domes ... so common in churches ... he introduced bricks lighter and more robust ... teaching Russian as burn and become the new material. Thus, from the foundation to masonry walls ... and iron screens in the structure ... Fioravanti used a number of techniques ... were known in Italy ... but placed in the context Russian symbolism. Finished, the cathedral was 30m high. Was admirable and impressive. With this symbol of power ... Ivan was ready to challenge the Tatars. The response was immediate. Assembled a formidable army and attacked Moscow. Ivan already waiting for them, and the two armies fought battle ... near the Ugra river the 500km from Moscow. After months of struggle balanced ... Russians succeeded winning the Tartars. Ivan drove the oppressors ... who had subjugated the Russians for nearly three centuries. With this recorded legacy monuments in stone and bronze ... Ivan III became ... Ivan the Great. When he died in 1505, Ivan had created ... an independent Russia but there is an empire. this distinction Ivan would be with another ... whose absolute power and inhuman cruelty ... you would title Ivan the Terrible. At the end of the reign, in 1505, Ivan the Great ... had freed the Russian people subservience to the Tartars ... triplicate and the lands of Moscow. In other words, he spent 40 thousand km 2 ... to more than 120,000 km 2 ... which itself was already a great achievement. That's what gave him the title "the Great". But the Tartars were still a problem. While away from Moscow, its capital, Kazan ... stood in the way the achievements of Russia. Only grim determination the third grandson of Ivan ... deliver once Russia from the Tartars ... and turn into the empire. He would be known as Ivan the Terrible. I think the longest period Expansion isolated ... was that of Ivan the Terrible. The Moscow reign spanned the Volga regions of Europe ... and, later on, whole of Siberia.
This great emperor had had ... an adolescence extremely disturbed. As a boy, he lost his father ... and witnessed the brutal fight the succession ... involving torture, execution and murder. Such atrocities would mark Ivan forever. A traumatic childhood of Ivan the Terrible ... Ivan produced a it was merciless. Even as a child, he tortured animals. He was cruel and sadistic. When he took power in 1547, he was convinced that God ... had entrusted with the governing Russia. He was the first Russian ruler ... to formally crowned as Tsar. Czar is a Russian word derived from Caesar. It is an imperial title. How Tsar Ivan found the perfect outlet for your rude and forceful intellect ... launching the first Russian offensive ... the famous siege of Kazan. First, he created an army almost 150 thousand ... including units artillery and engineering ... trained in tactics of Europe site. Engineers adapted the techniques for the Russian war machine. First of all, designed an ... to defend the Russian troops, the open plains of Eurasia. It was called "Gulai gorod". This, in fact, was a moving fortress. The gorod Gulai was done wood panel ... or wooden walls. They were real shells, made to defend ... the infantry artillery, called "strelietz" ... Russian sniper. The Russian infantry was within these mobile fortresses ... and used firearms, cannons, against cavalry. Yet another way was to use this against a besieged city, as Kazan. August 23, 1552, with armed and equipped army ... Ivan began his journey towards Kazan. It was very ingenious: The Russians were organized ... and raised forts wooden prefabricated ... and kept coming increasingly closer to Kazan. In other words, were cracking down. Entrenched on the outside ... Ivan forces launched an attack relentlessly ... from gorods Gulai 10m high ... with a rain of projectiles over the city walls. Killed many soldiers on the streets of Kazan ... with these mobile towers.
Seeing their intact towers, Ivan commanded the officers ... they found a way to invade the city. A bold plan was created to dig a tunnel under the walls ... fill it with mine and cause an explosion. The September 30, they ascended one spark ... that would decide the fate of Kazan. The force of the explosion did stop the battle. This was the signal the rest of the Army. And all regiments the tsarist army ... started simultaneously the invasion of the fortress. After eight days of bloody battle, Kazan fell. Ivan became a winner and Russia an empire. It was a monumental feat ... because the taking of Kazan ... meant that Russia ... was incorporating the old Tatar lands ... to which they owed obligations. And Kazan opened the way ... to Russia expand into an empire. Opened the way to the south, to the Caspian Sea and the Black Sea ... and opened the way to the east, to Siberia. In 1555, to celebrate the victory, Ivan ordered ... a monument that would become the symbol of the Russian Empire. 250 00:16:00,826 -- 00:16:04,057 Today, it is known like Saint Basil's Cathedral. The Cathedral of Intercession ... we know like Saint Basil's Cathedral ... is based on the technology of the towers Brick, brought by the Italians ... and adapted by the Russians, to create church towers. Built almost entirely with bricks ... the cathedral was composed eight churches in one. Its design is geometric ... with churches around a central tower ... symbolizing the eight days Site of Kazan. In the 1580s ... was added feature most distinctive cathedral. The dome with onions actually has this form ... that image by boss that forms its base. She gets into a cylinder called "drum" ... and the cylinder, and the top, it extends ... rises and tapers to a point. This is the acebolado dome. The domes of St. Basil were absolutely unique. Each was built in different textures ... with metal plates hand painted. The structure is iron. If you take the coating, is a kind of cage ... which was squeezed to form the boss. The result was a visual stunning architectural ... never seen before in Russia. In 1553, the fields of Ivan were the largest in Europe ... and he was in the height of his power. But his increasing paranoia and iron fists that ruled ... were slowly strangling the empire itself. He plunged into a series costly wars ... and systematically eliminated anyone who dared to face it. The dark insanity of Ivan consumed the Russian people. No one felt safe, not even his family.
Another reason to Ivan IV be called "the Terrible" ... is probably the end of his reign ... when he murdered his son, who tried to protect ... his pregnant wife Fury of Ivan. Ivan hit so angry at the daughter- she miscarried. When the son was heckles him, Ivan turned against him too ... and in a fit of anger killed him with one blow. With a single gesture insane ... Ivan destroyed the very line of succession. When the Czar died in 1584 ... the empire he was close to ruin. Shortly after Ivan came a time ... known as a difficult time. There was a civil war ... along with a war against foreign intervention. The Muscovy and Russia were very close ... losing their independence. A century after achieve independence ... Russia found itself the brink of disaster ... but soon a giant appear the stage of history ... amazing the world by founding a sparkling town in the middle of nowhere. 1696... a new czar came to power with a revolutionary plan ... to proceed with the task that Ivan the Terrible had begun ... and transform his nation in a modern empire. His name was Peter the Great. Peter the Great, was a person absolutely unique. It was a giant, both physically Average 2m ... as for your personality. He did not respect the tradition and conventions ... and was extremely curious regarding the news. The enormous size of Peter matched his ego. Around him there was always a whirlwind of activities. He assumed the duties a dozen men. He was truly a person extraordinary, out of the box. Peter spent adolescence in Moscow ... carousing with artisans and military in poor neighborhoods ... learning warfare tactics and technology. Peter not only I was excited ... with the European technology ... he was also very aware of the weakness ... and the backwardness of Russia compared to Europe. He wanted to change the situation. Early on, he went to Europe, Incognito ... and there he studied naval engineering with Dutch experts. He also learned the art Navigation in the English navy ... and saw all the riches that European empires ... were sucking their colonies. Thought it might be a good use to the natural resources of Russia. But he wanted was part of the game ... and he knew that for this, would you take to force ... their country of late medieval he was ... and into the light Western trade. When he returned to Russia, Peter wanted to transform his country ... in naval power not only for trade with European ... but also to compete as a military power. Peter turned to a strip of land ... 600 km north of Moscow, near the Baltic Sea ... the banks of the Neva River. With vanity a Roman god ... he imagined a city ... that Russia would map of Europe.
And call this city St. Petersburg. A city that location have direct sea access to Europe. The only problem was that these lands belonged to Sweden ... but Peter did not flinch, and in 1700 ... threw her a withering attack seizing land by force. In 1703, was released the cornerstone of the city. The new capital that Peter had in mind ... should be a fortress, military and naval center ... and the window to Europe, by which Western ideas ... modern ideas will spread throughout the empire. Saint Petersburg was born at the expense much blood and war ... but for the humble people, the ambition of the Czar ... was a double-edged sword. Peter chose the place of the new city ... because of its access to the Baltic Sea, but this advantage was costly. For 5 months each year, the river and its surroundings froze ... and consequently had floods when it melted. The city building would be a great challenge. Then Peter appealed the natural resource ... that compensated all other in Russia ... cheap labor. The Russian people literally built St. Petersburg ... with his own hands. That swampy world ... almost no supply could reach. To secure the foundations of the fortress above the waters ... workers had to dig the earth with their hands ... and carry thousands of tons of clay ... in jackets and shirts. Everything had to be imported. Until the wood had the amount to be cut ... to descend by the current in bulk ... in order to stabilize foundations. There was no firm ground ... all large structures ... were founded on piles. To do so, engineers designed a pulley system ... to plunge thousands of cuttings in soft soil. They lifted the block and dropped, to enter the stake in the ground. And it was repeated dozens thousands of times, in Petersburg. Within five months, thousands of workers ... had erected the hexagonal walls and the bastions of the fortress ... standing behind me. At night, they returned home hungry and cold ... and as well as thousands came to, died by the thousands of diseases ... exhaustion or in floods. In 1708, an estimated 25 billion workers had died ... building this city, which gave him the nickname ... the "City of Bones". The statistics do not say how many died by the end of construction. But a historian nineteenth century said ... which, up to that point, no battle in the annals of military history ... had cost many lives as the number of workers ... who died building St. Petersburg. For Peter, the ends justify the means. In 1706, he launched the first warship ... the St. Petersburg yard ... first City industrial complex. Had shipbuilders residents ... manufacturers of candles and ropes, forges and an iron foundry. Russia now had a navy ... and the Tsar would gradually changing the face of the empire. In 1712, with the usual efficiency and rude ... Peter proceeded the greatest change.
In one stroke single ... he made ? St. Petersburg Russia's capital. In an instant, the 300th anniversary Muscovite supremacy of ... collapsed to the ground. Moscow was stunned. Many Russians reacted to Peter ... as if he came from another planet. They did not understand. he imposed their strange ideas ... with the strength of a king and absolute autocrat. He inherited this of his predecessors ... but he knew very well how to use to their advantage. His vision of revolutionizing Russia ... was what guided his life. Nothing and no one escaped the effect ... This revolutionary process. Peter spared no expense to create a city from scratch ... but in 1714, St. Petersburg was still far ... be a European center as he expected. And the years of partying and excess already beginning to weigh on the Tsar. Without that iron will ... entire project threatened to crumble ... Russia and leave again, the edge of chaos. For decades, Peter the Great was focused on the task ... to transform Russia in a great empire ... with St. Petersburg as the capital ... with one exception, he continued to promote ... his legendary nights drink with friends ... but it did not diminish their wholesome Your amazing energy. He had beaten Sweden in the Great Northern War ... expanded the borders of Russia the Baltic to the Pacific. Built a European capital, created a navy ... schools did engineering and science ... and increased sevenfold trade of Russia. Militarily and politically, Russia was already an empire ... but still lacked an essential element: Prestige. In 1714 ... Peter scribbled the design of a palace ... he wanted to build on top of a headland ... 40km from St. Petersburg. His name would Peterhof. The palace was surrounded by more 200 acres of gardens ... graced by network and sparkling fountains ... hill and sources below. The work of this great design began in 1716. A large number of soldiers was summoned to dig the ditches ... where rush plumbing sources. In 1719, the Hydraulic engineers in the country ... began working in complicated system. The palace was at the top and high water pressures. It's fall, the force of gravity feeding the fountains. Taking advantage of the rugged terrain and water sources close ... workers built a system of 22km ... driven by gravity.
The water was stored at elevated reservoirs ... where spurted by immense pipe ... coming down vertiginous 15m to the central source. The water accumulated sufficient force to squirt the height of 20m. The result was stunning. The sight impressed either, the palace was nicknamed ... Russian Versailles. But Peter did not have much time to enjoy this marvel. Having plunged into the icy water . to save a sailor ... the great Tsar fell ill and did not resist. At the end of the reign, he transformed a backward and poor country ... at an early empire. But the task was far of fulfilled. It would be an ambitious and tenacious German, Woman grandson of Peter ... that would complete the transformation St. Petersburg ... naval fortress the glittering capital ... we know today. Her name, Catherine the Great. Catherine took power, in 1762 ... after deposing her husband ... who had been Emperor for only six months. She knew how to master it easily. With the throne assured ... 3 487 00:30:42,106 -- 00:30:45,310 Catherine followed the footprints Peter the Great ... and transformed Russia in world power. As foreign and European ... she practically completed the process of Europeanization ... Peter had started at the beginning of the century. Actually Catherine considered herself ... legitimate heir of Peter. In the eighteenth century, to be a successful monarch ... it was necessary to expand the territory. And that Catherine did very well. Catherine annexed about 500 000 hectares of land in the country ... which generated vast wealth and expanded the empire ... for size Russia today. It was also necessary to control several reforms. And that's what she did. As a priority, Catherine used his immense wealth ... to modernize the city. She ombreou with great monarchs ... offering the immense humble people ... several hospitals, sanitary measures ... basic services and schools. During her reign, Catherine established rules of architecture ... for the construction of new cities And she built 216 new cities ... with planning where would the squares ... types of facade, the materials ... be used in the construction. But more beautiful design Catherine and prestigious ... was the renewal of the royal residence. The most extravagant monument to luxury and refinement ... the Winter Palace.
This palace had three floors extending over 200m. On the outside, was decorated 200 columns with exquisite ... and over 150 statues marble. Inside, there were more than 500 rooms ... almost fourfold the White House. In the course of his reign, Catherine promoted ... a burst constructions as never seen before. With all this activity, the Tsarina turned ... Petersburg in an ostensive and proudly showcase ... culture, wealth and power the Russian Empire. She wrote to a correspondent ... "I can not stop building. It's like a disease, almost like alcoholism. " But construction was not the only defect in the czarina. Behind the doors the Winter Palace ... Catherine exercised another form of patronage ... caring for their numerous and generally young lovers. 534 00:33:29,607 -- 00:33:31,074 She worked hard. At night, wanted a male company. She had several lovers, whom he treated well and generously. She gave them lands and servants. But the luxuries of Catherine and its full power ... about to give humans like this ... symbolized the gulf between ... Russian worker elite. Although he was kind to his subjects, reforms of Catherine ... not quite contemplate the people. At the end of his reign in 1796 ... Russia was a superpower. The brightness of the country, however, brought glory and attracted enemies. In 1812, the most ambitious General of Europe ... undertook a march of conquest ... as had never been seen since the Roman Empire. And he chose Russia as the next victim. When he died in 1796, Catherine had added ... 500 000 hectares lands of the empire. Over 40 million people were now considered Russian. When his grandson, Alexander I, ascended the throne in 1801 ... Russia was important number the global chessboard. And that made ? it a coveted trophy ... for the most fearsome general Europe, Napoleon Bonaparte.
In 1812, Tsar Alexander face a problem ... Russia has not seen since the Mongol invasion, six centuries before. Napoleon was a threat Handsome Russia. He had almost all of Europe ... under control. Napoleon invaded Russia with an army unprecedented ... Over 500,000 soldiers. The Russians, seeing they could not face them ... adopted the tactic of strategic retreat. burned all what was left behind ... to leave the intruders without food. when we finally arrived in Moscow ... Napoleon realized it had underestimated ... the will of steel the Russian people. Napoleon probably thought to invade Russia and take the capital, Alexandre accept negotiate with him. But no. He simply ignored, until the bitter cold ... Napoleon did understand there was nothing to gain ... staying in Moscow. And then he retreated. Forced to march by the same ... freezing and desolate landscape I already knew ... Unbeatable army of Napoleon was reduced to 10% of survivors. Unbeatable army of Napoleon was reduced to 10% of survivors. In 1883, the successor of Alexander commissioned a monument ... and installed in the center of the square Main St. Petersburg ... a symbol the Russian iron will. It was called the Alexander Column. The Alexander Column is on a granite base ... red granite. It is a monolith, a whole piece. Again, one czar forced subjects ... literally move mountains ... to erect a monument in honor of the empire. A battalion of workers ... extracted the base of the column ... one piece, and took her to St. Petersburg. It was a process that required three years and thousands of workers. In Petersburg, the engineers faced the daunting task ... lifting the monolith 700 tonnes and 25m high. They used a large rope that was bound to the column. Around, hoists had operated by several people. At a signal, all passed a system of pulleys ... so that the column was raised gradually ... is put in place prepared the base.
Today, the column still think the huge pedestal. Its total height is 48m. Was perfectly designed and constructed. The fall of Napoleon eliminated the threats ... the status of Russia the largest continental empire. At the turn of the nineteenth century, the country average nearly 10,000 km ... Baltic Sea to the Pacific coast ... going to Alaska. A sixth covered of the entire planet Earth ... including 15 time zones. And with the new tsar, continue to grow. As Nicholas II knew Asia, because of their previous trips ... his first trips were for Asian nations ... He had a real conviction ... that the future of Russia was in the Pacific. But with a territory that was lost in the horizon ... the empire was in a danger being crushed by own weight. And the engineers find A solution ... such as Russia itself. Build the railway Trans-Siberian. Those who promoted the construction ... than would be the time the railroad longest in the world in 1890 ... had goals in mind ... economic and political. They wanted to open the Far East to Russian exports. At the same time, they wanted to establish Russian power in the east. The May 31, 1891 ... was seated the first rail a railroad ... that transpose the distance of 9.200km ... equivalent to the cross United States twice. equivalent to the cross United States twice. Imagine what it was built the railroad ... sincerely, leaves me impressed. The building has been divided into stages ... requiring thousands of workers, engineers, soldiers ... and even imprisoned, to perform the task. In a typical stretch the railroad through ... the Siberian steppes ... an initial team cleaned the ground ... and cut trees to make way for the railroad. After it was necessary to much work ... for excavation of sites where the tracks pass. When the earth was leveled ... rails were brought and settlers. The transport of supplies to the icy plains was a problem ... because the railroad did not exist. The rails were placed gradually ... and the workers wore the stretch ready to transport the steel from the west ... and continue to build, step by step. This process was repeated week after week, month after month ... during all the years in the late imperial period. The strenuous work was an ordeal for the Russians. It was very hard work, very hard. Imagine that desolate vastness ... which was transformed Rustic campgrounds ... with workers living in tents ... or, in some cases, shelters, working for months ... in stretches of railroad-supplied relatively limited ... in winter, they were subjected to a extremely low temperature ... in summer, the terrible heat that climate. In 1904, the railroad was ready.
Russia had a communication line to the east ... and was free to try another achievement in Asia. The problem, of course, does that put Russia ... in conflict with Japan .. who had political objectives cheap and very similar. This conflict of objectives led a war between Russia and Japan In 1905, Russia went to war ... and suffered humiliating defeat the Japanese. That defeat fueled the flames ... growing resentment against the Tsar. In 1914, Tsar plunged the country in another war. A war that decimated much of the population. The First World War. After centuries building the largest empire of the world at your expense ... the people felt that reached to the breaking point. The March 15, 1917, the revolt broke out. Tsar Nicholas II was deposed. The nearly 500 years of absolute power Czars collapsed to the ground. The main factor in the disintegration the Russian Empire ... in 1917 ... was the collapse of the Tsarist regime. He was the emperor I served as the foundation ... to keep the empire together. The tsars had used the power to build beautiful cathedrals ... a city on swamps ... a railroad crossing a continent ... and sumptuous palaces that even today have no rivals. The history of the Russian Empire can be seen as a great achievement. At the same time, this achievement has taken its toll. In many respects, the empire was built at the expense of the Russian people. In 1917 the achievements of the empire ... be rewritten with a new system ... determined to improve the lives the humblest peasant. The powerful empire grew and subjects consumed increasingly ... to build the amusement palace of the rich ... and a hell for the rest. In the early twentieth century, the exploited poor and illiterate ... Russia got tired. Devastated by the Great War, incited by radical ... the people rose to demolish Russia for which they had fought so ... in a fierce revolution would replace ... a great empire on the other. Peter Weller , For History Channel ; Mahdi.2ndFerdowsi , For Translation Jet Blue, Song, Southwest. What do they have in common? They're all hip, they're young... and they've got us drunk in the backseat with our prom dress over our head.
But I am not letting some quarterback take my V-card... without getting a little skin under my fingernails. So we're starting a low-cost carrier. Marty, what do you got? Uh, well, our research shows us that the youth market responds... to single-syllable men's names. United has Ted, Apple has Mac. There's even some guy out there with a list called Craig. So we propose that our new low-cost carrier be called... Jack, Jack Air. Short, direct, hard "K." Keep going. Here's some slogans we've come up with: Chicago toJamaica... Jack it to paradise. [Snickers] We'll take out print ads in Parenting magazine... Leave the kids with Grandma. - Jack it alone. - [Snorts] We've even got a three-way tie-in with Caesar's Palace and Bose. Jack it to Celine Dion with our new headphones. [Hysterical Laughing] Thesis, what's so funny? Nothing, sir. I'm sorry. You're giggling like a Japanese schoolgirl. No. It's just "jack," as a verb, put with "it"..."Jack it." Forget about it. Marty, I apologize. Uh, we're buying banners at AOL Instant Messenger: - Jack your whole buddy list for half price.
- You can't do it. I'm sorry. You just can't do it. It means something you don't want it to mean. - What is it? - Russ, that joke you love about the monkey and the sailor? - [Laughing] - Huh? God. Marty, you're out. Thesis, you're taking over the low-cost carrier. Wh... I... I'm head of the division? You got three days to put a plan together. - New name, new marketing, the whole Enchirito. - Yes, sir! *[Rock] - [Man Singing Rock] - [Muttering] - Oh, God. - *[Continues] You guys! You guys! Sam's on his way in. Let's do that thing where we all pretend we don't know who he is, and he'll think he's crazy. It'll be really funny. Oh.! Here he comes. Here he comes. - Shh.
Shh. - Hi, Sam! Oh, shoot. - Nice! - I got a promotion. - No way! - Hot panties! I'm in charge of a new youth-oriented low-cost airline. I gotta start working on it. I don't know. Kids flying airplanes? That can't end well. - But congratulations, I guess. - Hi, guys! Awesome shower. *[Man Rapping] [Sighs] You know the earrings that were on the sink? Yeah. Those are from my great-great grandmother. They fell in the toilet. But don't worry! I fished them out. They're almost totally as good as new. - Oh. Great! Still wet. - I'm so, so sorry. Jenna, do not apologize. You are a guest in this house. - If you want to murder us in our sleep, you do it.
- [Jenna] That's sweet.! - Hey. Who's the new guy? - I'm Sam. This is Jenna, my B.F.F. From bartending school. - She's staying here for a couple of days. - Sammy. Sammy. Oh, you might want to be careful with this table 'cause maple's a soft wood. - Soft wood. - I'm working at the bar tonight. You guys should come out. Yeah, I could buy drinks for everyone courtesy of Saco Borosso Tequila. - Oh, you work for Saco Borosso? - Isn't that awesome? And she can party harder than anybody I've ever met. Well, except for Katie Couric. That bitch can drink. - Sam, come with us! - Oh, I can't. I've got a ton of work to do. Oh. I see. You only go out on the weekends. My dad does that. - Believe me, I go out a lot more... than that. - Whoo! I just... I gotta work. Hejust got a promotion.
Come on! It'll be fun. - I'd love to, but I just can't. - Meow. Meow. What is that? Meow. [Gasps] It's a little pussycat.! What's your name, pussycat? Sam? Oh, does pussycat Sam have to work? Very funny. If I get done with my work, I'll be able to go out with you tomor... - [Meowing Continues] - [Beckman Whines] One drink. [Hooting, Shouting] - Yeah! - I'm gonna live forever! [Cheering] *[Man Singing] *[Continues] *[Ends] *[Man Singing In Spanish] [Laughing] So, you're a V.P. At Saco Borosso. Stands for "Veteran Partyer." I go around the bars to promote the brand. Basically, I get paid to drink. Wow. That sounds like an awesome job.
Beats the balls off my last gig... analyst at Citibank. Hundred-hour work week with major douchers. - Not cool. - I couldn't take it, so I quit. And now I get paid to do this. - [Screams] - [People Cheering] I can't get overJenna. We started out learning how to cut limes together, and now she's so successful. She goes around to bars handing out free tequila to drunk people. I know.! I try not to getjealous. It's just human nature. - I need to make a move. - Aren't they looking for a new manager here? Ooh. I can be a manager. How hard could it be? - Can I get a vodka and tonic? - Just take the bottle. Yeah, I really think I could do it. - Hey! - Hey. Do you want to compete against me in the Saco Borosso Tequila Challenge? - What's that? - It's part of my job. You compete against me in 10 different challenges. You know, who can eat what when, who can stuff what where. The last one is a race in Cabo on a baby burro. Yeah!
I could call in sick tomorrow and tell my boss I'm in a Mexican burro race. Come on! Just do the first one. It takes 10 minutes. Who can eat the most eggs? Those are eggs? I thought they were pig nards. Ten minutes, Sam. Let's do it. No way in hell. I gotta go home. I have a ton of work to do tonight. - Meow. - Oh! *[Man Singing Punk] [Man Whooping] - Let's go, Jenna! - Twenty-eight! - [Lizzy] Nineteen. - *[Continues] - Twenty-four eggs for Sam. - Thirty-three forJenna. - Time.! - I win! - Yea! Congratulations. You're a pig. - I want a rematch! - But if you lose again, I get to draw all over your body. - What?
Why? We found that without consequences, some morons will do this over and over again. - No offense. - Sam, you need to go home and work. - One more, and then we'll leave. - Ready and go! Yeah! - [Continues] - [Sully] Let's go.! - Time! - I win! - Pig. - Lift up your shirt, loser. - [Whimpering] - Oh, Sammy. *[Continues] [Groans] [Both Moaning] You guys wanna go home or keep watching? - Keep watching. - Oh, that's gross. That's my brother. Wait a minute. All right. We can keep watching. *[Ends] As you may have heard, we lost a good man this morning. Marty Singer is dead. What? It probably had nothing to do with you taking his job. Stay strong.
Moment of silence in his honor. I shouldn't have said anything aboutJack Air. I feel so bad. Thesis? Are you talking during a moment of silence? - L-I'm sorry, sir. I just... - Ooh, look at the cold stones on this kid. Every man in this room could drop dead, and he wouldn't bat an eyelash. And he's right. We don't have time for feelings. This is a business, not a homosexual coming-of-age story. Your presentation is in two days. It better boil my noodle. Oh, because of Marty, we all have to take a physical. If you fail the physical, you can't head a division. Could you remove your shirt, please? I'd be more comfortable if we just went over the shirt. - I'm a second base type of gal. - Remove your shirt. See, I did this challenge last night, and there was this girl. Um, actually she's the one that made me do this. Um, but, you know, she's super hot. - L-I can't stop thinking about her. - I don't care. Right. - [Beeping] - Whoa. Your cholesterol is 700. What?
I know what happened. The challenge was an egg-eating contest... actually, two of them. - I think I ate, like, 40 eggs. - Oh, that's great. I can't pass you. No, no, no! You have to pass me. I just became head of a division! I promise you, I'm super healthy. I run every day. I eat lots of fruit and grains. - Yeah, you're just too much of a risk. - No, please, I'm begging you. It was a bar bet. This is not me. Well, you are 30 years younger than anyone else here. - I could retest you tomorrow. - Great idea! Let's do that. But in the meantime, keep a food journal and wear this pedometer. That way I can prove to the company you're healthy. 10,000 steps minimum. Hey, look at me! Look! I'm already at seven! [Sighs] What's wrong, Thesis? You look like someone stole your sucker. No. I was just partying last night, and it screwed up my physical.
Oh, it's hard for you, Sam. Most of us here have already had our adventures and are settled down. But you're still having your adventures. And you should be. I know, but I also take my job very seriously. You're only young once, Sam. Live life, drink wine, eat breakfast off Steve McQueen's ass... while Ali MacGraw pours wax on herself in the corner. I don't know who they are, but I'm pretty sure I can't do all that and still have this job. Well, you can't be 24 again either. Hey, you're good at math. Wanna see how many times 24 goes into 48? - Twice. - *[Man Singing Pop] [Sully] All right. Here's the deal, Lizzy. If you're gonna manage a bar, you're gonna have to learn how to throw out angry drunks. I'm an angry drunk. Throw me out. - All right. I'll try. - [Clears Throat] Excuse me, sir, but I think it's time for you to go. I'm not goin' anywhere. Aah! God! Oh! Son of a... [Groans] - [Screams] - [Thudding] - Ah!
- [Lizzy] Was that okay? - Yeah.! - Listen, Piper. I need your help. I wanna have fun and go out with Jenna tonight, but I gotta get my work done first. Are you sure she's the right kind of girl for you? I've never dated anyone like her. Maybe that's why it works. But not tonight. No matter what happens, just please let me get my work done. Got it. Keep you out of trouble. Ah, cool. - Hi. - Hey. Sammy, no. - [Continues] - This is gonna be trouble. Where am I? What the hell happened? You won the tequila challenge. - Welcome to Cabo. - [Donkey Brays] [Groans] *[Man Singing In Spanish] No, seriously, where are we? We're in Mexico. You wanna make out? - You know it. - [Moaning]
Wait, wait, wait. What happened last night? You took the Saco Borosso Challenge. *[Man Singing Punk] - Whoa! - *[Continues] - Oh! - *[Continues] [Squealing] Oh, yeah. I was insane. Yes, you were. [Moans] Mmm! Oh, my God! My low-cost airline! I didn't do any work last night. Wait, wait, wait. Did I? - Whoo! - *[Man Singing Punk] *[Ends] - [Grunts] I gotta go. - No, stay! I have to hit a couple bars for work... but after, we can spend the rest of the day naked on the beach. I'd love to, but I have a huge presentation tomorrow. You know, they're hiring new V.P.'s. You should do it. We could travel all over the world together... have an awesome time makin' lots of money. - That sounds like a great idea.
- Let's make this happen. Oh, that's big. Let's talk about it later tonight, okay? Sam. I had fun last night. Me too. *[Singing In Spanish Continues] - [Braying] - Come on! No, no, no, no, no! - Stupid ass! - [Brays] - [Phone Rings] - Darcy? - Hi, Sam. - Hey, can you cancel all my meetings? I'll have to do some serious juggling. At 11:00 a.m. You've got the guy installing Outlook Express on your computer... and at 6:00 p.m. You're buying cookies from Harry Manetti's daughter. - Is that all I have? - That and the nurse from the insurance company. - He's here for your re-exam. - Fudgeknocker! My pedometer! I need 10,000 steps. Can you stall him until I get there? I didn't go to acting school. I went to M.I.T. But my particle theory club did do a production of Man of La Mancha. The review gave it 6.02 times 10 to the 23rd stars. I'm sorry, sir.
You'll have to shut off your cell phone. It disrupts the plane's communication system. Actually, I work for the airline, and that's not true. They're on two completely different frequencies, so it's fine. Thanks. I'm sorry. F.A.A. Rules. No cell phones after takeoff. Shut it off. - Just two more... - Shut it. - Sir, please take your seat. - I'm sorry. This is a health issue. Can't sit still for long periods of time. Deep vein thrombosis. - You understand. - Park it. Okay. [Rattling] *[Man Singing Rock] [Bell Dinging] [Pedometer Rattling Continues] *[Ends] Sir, what you're doing is a federal offense. What? Oh, no, no, no. I'm just working my pedometer. Let's go, Gangster's Paradise. Wh...
What? No, no! I have to go to work! Please, no. Come on. Ah, sucklickers.! - *[Man Singing Blues] - [Door Lock Buzzing] - *[Ends] - Sammy! Yee-haw! [Yells, Groans] Was it horrible in there? Huh? They do stuff to you? Listen. You talk when you're ready. - Hey, where's Jenna? - I left her in Cabo. She's coming back tonight. - So, did you at least win the challenge? - Yeah. I won a new high-defTV. - Awesome! Plasma or L.C.D.? - L.C.D. - Oh, puke. Pass. - Yeah, I know. *[Man Singing Pop] Hey, Alfalfa.
Wanna meet Stinky? - Oh, yeah. I had something in my hair. - Me too. So, how are the adventures going? Great! I met this girl, and she's really amazing. I think I might be making some life changes. You knocked her up. I told people you weren't gay. - What? - You ready for your big presentation? I will be. I'm gonna spend the day hammering out the details. Didn't you get the e-mail on Outlook Express? - No. They haven't installed it yet. - Let's go, Thesis! - Presentation time, and you're up. - Wh-What? Moved it up a day. Don't you read your Outlook Express? - L... - You better be good. This low-cost airline is the only thing keeping me from sucking on a gas nipple. Look, Sam. I know what it's like to finally lose your virginity. But you have to read your Outlook Express. L... Wha...
All right, Thesis. Blow my pants off. Well, uh, the thing is my new e-mail software never got installed and... Thesis! Don't make me go dig up Marty. No, sir, no! Of course not. Uh... Are you wearing a brassiere, boy? What? D... No! No, no, no. No, no, no, no. No. This, um, is just drawn on. See, l-I lost this challenge, and this was one of the consequences. You're not one of those trans-operatives, are you? Like my son's friend Seth-Beth. No, I'm all man. A man who likes to have fun, you know... with drinking games and tequila challenges... and Magic Marker bras. What does this have to do with our airline? I'll tell you what. We're gonna target a new key demo. A demo that likes drinking and the beach... and partying, y'all! - Huh? Yeah.! - Sam, what are you doing? A party-loving, beach-hugging demo, like me. And you know what we hate?
Flying. It sucks. But not if it were a party. So instead of nonstop... we're gonna offer nonstop partying on Sky Party Air! Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna be the new low-cost carrier for every party destination in North America. Cabo, South Padre Island, Las Vegas! Why should the party start when you land? Come on, people! Life's for living. Let's do this for Marty! Let's rock this bitch on Sky Party Air, y'all! Oh, ooh! Great Agamemnon's ghost! He's done it again. You tapped the youth market. I love it. - High five? - Nope. - Or not. - No, sir. All right. *[Man Singing Pop] - Hey. - Hey, Jenna! Mmm. So did you think about the job thing? Our first assignment would be Dave Buster's in San Diego. We're making a human burrito with me inside. If you're up for it, you can be the queso.
Oh, that sounds so fun. I'd love to be the queso. But I can't. What? Why not? Uh, I really like my job. I actually got to name an airline today. Well, so what do we do? I have to leave for Dave Buster's in the morning. I don't know. Uh, you wanna work for an airline? My life is the road, Sammy, not the sky. - What? - [Giggling] I don't know. I've been drunk sinceJanuary. [Laughing] - You're really nuts, huh? - You have no idea. [Moaning] *[Singing Continues] Mmm! Mmm! You again? You stinking' drunk. - I thought I told you to get lost. - [Screams] *[Ends] - *[Man Singing In Spanish] - [Announcer] Sky Party Air. Why should the party start when you land? *[Continues]
*[Continues] Now flying to party destinations everywhere. Except where prohibited by law. - [Whistling] Uh-oh. - [Zipper Zips] "Man, Woman the Wall" Uh huh... Yea... That's interesting. That's not good... Really? What a thin wall! Hey. How's the new house? Oh yes! The wall's a bit too thin that I can hear voices from next door. But this is the first time I got an apartment with a bathtub, so there's nothing much to complain about. - So it comes with a bathtub? - Yes. So you've finally made it this far. It's all thanks to the Chief Editor. Now you're at the peak of your life. Huh? You mean having a bathtub? Yup, having an apartment with a bathtub is the peak of your life. That's just sad... Am I really that low? Isn't this just like the time with the Romanian Pub? I agree it's quite similar.
Don't you have anything new? It is getting conservative these days. It's hard to get interesting stories. Keep working, informer. Oh yea. An IT company is working with Singapore affiliated Chinese mafia to control a Chinese company from the back. So you've got something good after all. They specialize in counterfeit credit cards, pretty big business. At the time... I am doing my best but Mom you should hang in there too. Isn't Kazuyuki taking the exam this year? Cut it out. What are you getting out of this? When you get arrested, your life will be all messed up. Hmm? It's not here. Welcome back. Everybody, here you go! The top news today is... Good night. "Sugiura" Hello? Cut it out. What are you getting out of this? It's very... fun... When you get arrested, your life will be all messed up. I want to screw you... Hello? Yuta?
Yes, the same guy. I am so scared... Yea, it's just disgusting. Yea, please come over. I was so scared... Isn't this becoming more frequent? At first it's just silent calls. But now it's becoming threatening. He said he wants to screw me over... I can't take it anymore... Don't worry! I am going to be with you. But it's already been three weeks this guy's a freak. I think you should contact the police. The police... The thing is, I was asked out for a date by my coworker recently. Really? Of course I turned him down. I suspected him because he seemed a bit difficult... But the voice is completely different so it's probably not him. He's definitely fishy. Voices can be changed easily on the phone. Just watch for him. Anyway, let's change the phone number. I will handle it tomorrow. You can do that? Well, if I explain the situation to the phone company they will get something done. So Satsuki, you should get in touch with the police. Okay. It's great having you here.
Because, if I am by myself I wouldn't know how to handle this. I am the one who's supposed to handle this. We are dating each other after all. We've been dating for two months? Yup, next Wednesday and it will be two months. So it's not been two months. Yup, it's not been two months yet. Don't you think we get along well so soon? Don't you like it? Of course, I do. We don't see each other often. But I'm fine with that. When I see you, I feel like fresh. We get along well. Getting along... Getting along... Oh my god, just do it already! That's fast! "24 hours eavesdropped" What are you up to? Ok... She comes back when the train's not running. She doesn't look like she rides the taxis either. That means she must be working close by. For someone like her it must be a family restaurant. That's correct Wha? - May I take your order? - Oh, yes. - An order of chili cheese fries.
- Chili cheese fries. Welcome! Welcome! Here's the menu. "Sugiura" Sorry to make you wait. Who ordered the junior burger? Here you go. Thank you. Hello. Hi, I got a package delivery notice. Yes. I am wondering if you can deliver it... to Sugiura at Room 6085 instead? Yes, Sugiura. I think she will be back by 6:30. Yes, sorry for the trouble. Thank you. I though she was pretty. She went to work by train. And I greet here later. I wanted her to be my girl. At that moment, the train departure bell rang. Hello, I got your package. Oh! Thank you! - I am very sorry for the trouble. - No, not at all. The thing is I am out at work most of the time so the delivery man said he will just leave it with the neighbor. - I am really sorry about this. - Don't worry about it.
Did you recently move here? Yes. I am sorry. I didn't even let you know. I am Kawase. Pleasure to meet you. I am Sugiura. Nice to meet you too. - Sorry about that. - Ok then, I will see you later. Yes. Thank you so much. - Yes. - Ah, please take these. Thanks so much for the package. Eh? Is it ok? Just sharing what I got. A greeting gift from the new neighbor. Thank you. Bye Bye. How, how did you know this number? It doesn't matter what you do... I will be with you... no matter... NO! Yuta! How did he find out the new number? This is weird. Did you call the police? Not yet...
I am scared, Yuta. He said he's going to come... - Don't worry, - Just once a week? - I will find him. - For god's sake do it more often! Damn it. Hello? Yes, I would like to place a request. Yes, race queen please. Yes. Sorry to make you wait. Eh? Huh? Is that how it is? I don't mind but it is going to cost you extra. Who are you? I am Rena from Sukima Switch. Sukima Switch? Um, what is that? I mean... but... That's what people call a pervert. I am becoming quite drawn to it. So? You're living a quiet, or should I say a silent life? Miss Satsuki is becoming the center of my daily routine. I know more about her than someone who share a room with her. Well, yea. She's not hiding anything behind that wall. But you don't see a girl like this nowadays.
She goes to work during the day, and work part time at the restaurant during the night. She even sends money back home. Don't you think that's admirable? No way I could've done that. That's true. But, she comes back 3am in the morning day after day... when she finish her night shift. Above all, I stayed up with her. I get very sleepy from that. - That's quite unhealthy. - I can't agree more. Oh yea. There's one place where I keep getting noise from the microphone. Is it a malfunction? How am I suppose to know? Come on. But, there is only one place where I can't hear well with the mic. What do you think it could be? Ask the master of eavesdropping, Ono. The debugger Ono. Before, you know too don't you. He places hidden mics in houses. Later he goes to the owner... and say something like "your house is bugged". After that he goes in and retrieve the mics and get the payment. He was the director of the whole case! At the end he got caught for this fraud. Your magazine featured this. Now they say he's working as a eavesdropper underground. Yea, in that field he's more famous than before. Master of eavesdropping, Ono... I can see your effort, but normally shouldn't you be using a wireless?
I was thinking about saving up a bit... This is because someone else installed a mic. Eh! ? Who could it be? That mic's radio wave is interrupting yours, creating the noise. Eh! ? Hmm... Who could that be? Satsuki is at work today. He must be the one who installed the mics. It seems he installed something else. Let's go take a look. Eh? Wow! ? So this is what the room is like! It's different from my imagination after all. "Yuta" Ryo, here. Ah, this is it? I've seen this one on TV. It's the type you can place anywhere. My magazine made a special report on this type before too. It seems he's here to install this today. What is it? Wow, a hidden camera. This type does not send off strong radio signals. That means he's not far.
Really? Is he a real pervert? You're not that much different either. What do we do with this and the mic? Just leave it. If we remove it he will just install new ones. That's true. Let's move. If we hang around for too long he's going to be back to check on the equipment. Okay. That's it, there's no mistake. Excuse me. Do you know where the Suguzaki Ichizen Ramen House is? I am not from around here so I am not sure. What? I don't live around here so I don't know where it is. Ah. Got it. Thank you. Yuta, you swine. Welcome. Oh hi. - Thanks for the gifts from before. - So you work here? That's right. During the day I work full time at a company. But during the night I work part-time here. Really? I didn't notice at all. I come here quite frequently lately.
Eh? Really? Sorry, here's the menu. The canned crab from before was delicious. Thank you so much. No, it's nothing. When you go out again, please let me know. You really saved me that time. I look forward to my share. I see. Next time let's get Matsusaka beef. Matsusaka beef? Yay! Fried banana and cherry coke. Fried banana and cherry coke? Please wait for awhile. "Patisserie Hiroaki" Ah, Mr. Kawase Oh, hi! You have the day off today? Today my work start during the night. How about you? I work till noon, so I was working up a sweat at the gym. I see. Would you like to have a cup of tea? The cakes at Patisserie Hiroaki are irresistible. I know that store. They're delicious aren't they? So Mr. Kawase, you work with the media? That's right.
But under a small publisher. I think I would feel easier if you just call me Ryo. Mr. Ryo, I am Satsuki. Miss Satsuki. During the day I work for an importing company. But I really wanted to work with the media. Really! You're kidding. Working for a magazine company you lose all of your free time. But I am quite envious that... you can get in a job you're interested in. Well, that's true. To have play time and work time merge into one... is actually quite interesting. So what do you do? During work? Meet all types of people and gather information. Do you meet anyone famous? For us, we don't get the chance. It's a pretty old fashioned magazine. Old fashion? We don't have any luck with the entertainment industry. What exactly do you mean? For example, introducing the underground sewers. - Underground sewer? - That's right. Normally you wouldn't even think about it right? But according to area and its land, there's actually various type of underground sewer... to handle different kind of conditions. Not a very popular field, but some people think it's a very interesting topic. That's interesting... And it's so true. Isn't it?
Mr. Kawase, I mean Mr. Ryo. I can't imagine you doing it. Doing what? Traveling to and researching... every underground sewage in the nation. You can't just judge someone by their appearance. Do you travel a lot? Well, yea, quite often. That's nice. Why? You don't travel with your boyfriend? Yea. He just got hired this year and he's been quite busy. So it's just not possible. I see. Of course you would have a boyfriend. Though we've only been dating for two months. Ah, I see. Then you don't know him all that well yet right? 2 months is the stage where you really start to get to know him. That's right. How about you? Mr. Ryo? Your girlfriend. Me? I don't have one. So Miss Satsuki's already got a boyfriend... What a dark life I am leading... You said it. If you date with me, you will be able travel a lot. You mean I get to travel the waters?
Underground sewage. It sure seems interesting. Touring the waterways. Underground sewage? Interesting? You serious? It seems fun? It's not fun? It can't be. I guess it can't be then. That swine. How are you? I will get you soon. I will have you... What do you want! ? Stop calling! What are you doing now? That freak. No! Hello? Oh, what is it? Could you come over today? Today might be a difficult. I am in the middle of work right now. Something wrong? It's that guy again. Eh? It's seems like it's getting more serious. I am so scared, Yuta.
I really want to do something for you but I can't get away today. I will give the police a call and see if they can send a patrol over. I am sorry. Don't be. If anything happens give me a call. Being able to talk to you makes me feel more calmed down now. I feel alright now. Thanks. I wish I can be with you more often... I am sorry I am not dependable at a time like this. That's not true. You've been a great help. Really? I am glad you said that. Ok then, hang in there. If you feel uneasy again, give me a call. Good night. Good night. Miss Satsuki, that guy's dangerous... Sorry to have you out during work. Don't worry about it. What is it? I am starting to worry. What kind of freak would do something like this? He must be a pervert. Excuse me. Sorry to keep you waiting. Tibet style spicy steamed dumplings. Thai style spicy yakisoba. Vietnamese spring rolls.
Spicy steamed dumplings, spicy yakisoba, and spring rolls? Will that be all? Please wait for awhile. So you're working around here today? I've been working with 30 companies since the morning. Wow. But I can't handle it at all, I am worn out. Hello, this is Konishi. Thank you, Mr. Isono. Is that so? I am glad to hear it. That's great. That would really help me out. I will be there in an hour then. Thank you. Phew, the client I was handling this morning gave me the OK. That's great. It's been going well today. I guess I should go to the police after all. Like I said. Sorry, excuse me for a second. Hello, Konishi. Thank you. I am sorry for troubling you a few days ago. I appreciate it. Regarding the goods we talked about a few days ago. We'll just go with it. Thank you. What was it? - Don't worry, it's taken care of.
- I see. Excuse me. Sorry to keep you waiting. Here's the spring rolls. The rest will be here shortly. Okay. - Delivery. - Thanks. You have a caring mother. She sent you stuff again. I will give you your share in a bit. Thank you! Oh, and there's one more. - Okay. - It's moving... You want to know what's inside? - Eh? - Come on in. Eh? But I want to know... Wow! Shrimps! They taste great. Take some with you. I've never seen live shrimps before. Or should I say, I don't know how to cook these. It's easy, here. It's okay. Hey stop! Clam down!
Satsuki, help me out. Watch out! What is she doing? Where did she go? Ahh... That was great. It makes me wonder what those fried shrimps I've had before were. Didn't I say that? Wait, didn't you say they look so sad before? That's because they were alive before you fried them. Well, that's true. Live shrimps and fried shrimps are completely different. They are. Before they were fried they looked like aliens and it's just disgusting. But when they are fried, it's like "I know these, fried shrimps, I've seen them". Yea. You are good at cooking. Well, I've been living alone for awhile. I got trained for it. You don't cook often? Not at all. Eh? Why? It's fun if you try it. Ahh... you seem to get along with your family. Well, yea. For me, my family is on the verge of breaking down. Why? When I was in high school, a robbery case occurred in my area At the time, my father quited his job and was in the house.
For some reason he was suspected as the robber. Suspected as the robber? My family was treated as criminals in the entire area. We got the stares, and my brother and I get harassed at school. But, the case was solved right? They soon found the real robber and my father's name cleared. But due to this, my father and mother divorced. Really? Wow, that's some pretty serious talk. It seems if you have that happen once, you just can't get back on your feet again. We moved and transferred, and my mother was all drained out. Really? Wow, that's some serious talk. That's tough. But I can't see that from you Miss Satsuki. You seem cheerful and it's hard to imagine you're carrying all that on your mind. It might be because I try not to think about it. I see. But I won't forgive the police. I hate them. That's understandable... You are strong. When I talk with you, Ryo. I feel I can say stuff that I usually don't talk about. Maybe because you work with the media. - Me? - You're good at making people talk Really? I am flattered. Excuse me.
Hello? I'm in neighbor's room. I was giving the neighbor's package to him, and he treated me to dinner... Stop being an airhead! I got some time now so I will head over now, I will be there in 5 minutes. Okay. I will see you later. Um... I have to go back to my room. So I will excuse myself. Ah, ok. Come again anytime. It was delicious. Thanks for the meal. Good night. Good night. - Yes? - Is this alright? I know it's not Matsusaka beef. It's Matsusaka beef! Or not. Didn't I just say that? But all these... Thanks. Alright, come again anytime. - Good night. - Good night. Yes. Who's that?
The neighbor I was talking about. He gave me some of the stuff he got in the package. Oh? I see. Is everything alright? Eh? What are you talking about? Ah, the phone harassment? I guess I forgot about it. Everything's fine. That's good. Huh? Stop. Stop it! Yuta, you're acting funny today. You're the one who's acting funny. Stop it. It hurts... Be gentle... Sorry. Don't be rough. I know. You're scary today, Yuta. That's not true. I don't want this. You're interested in the guy next door? Satsuki, that guy's no good. I tell you. Damn it. Good evening.
I am the one who's dating Sugiura Satsuki next door. Please take these... I am wondering, could you have sex with Satsuki please? What are you talking about? You've given her quite a lot of gifts. Tell me the truth, you just want to have sex with Satsuki right? I don't mind. - You're an idiot. - But, do it at her room please. She will feel easier that way. - What are you talking about? - Please. Idiot. What is it? Cut it out already. - You waited? - No. - I got it. Taiyaki. - Ah... That's good. Thank you. It's just as delicious as before. It's different from the others after all. It used good red beans, and the sweetness is right on the spot. The outside is crispy, and the inside is soft. This will be it for awhile. It's tough over here too. I know. You come here often when you were little.
Really? You don't remember? You often trip over there and cried about it. Really? You're such a helpless daughter. Look who's talking. The way they baked this is good too. It's probably because they used good flour. Satsuki. You're going back now? It's a piece of cake till today. Starting in two days it's going to be hell though. You're early today too, Satsuki. I got early shift today. Eh? You want to go to dinner together? Eh? Should I? Okay! It's been decided. Let's go. Let's go. My mother said it was all paid up a long time ago. Okay, Hide close in, close in, close in. Kyoko, look frightened. Over there yes. Hide, lines. Whatever, just pay up. That's not possible. Don't make fun of me.
My mother said it was all paid up a long time ago. That old hag's... That old hag's... Lying. Lying. I know that old hag's lying. But, it's surprising you didn't turn me down today. Surprising? Because, usually girls that have boyfriends... have it pretty tough in this kind of situation. But don't they at least go out for dinner? Oh, really? Isn't that the case? Although I usually don't. But you're such a charming guy. Whatever... Ryo, you've talked about it before. That the second month is when you really get to see your partner. I said that? You don't remember? Well, you said it. Right now I can really feel those words coming at me. Oh, something good. Isn't that a good sign? What is it? It's getting harder and harder to understand him. I thought he was this type of person, but recently he's been completely different. Seeing him like this makes me uneasy. I wonder if I can still keep going. If that's what you think you should just quit. Is it that easy?
I mean, isn't that a very important part of the relationship? If you are beginning to have trouble seeing how you two connect, then that's not good. That's true. There are many ways to make money, and I am going to teach you. I am going to teach you, so... Please stop. Before I sell you off you're going to make some money for me. Stop. Stop it. Well, if I can't get anything out of you. There are others I can get money from. Like your boyfriend for example. Give it back! What are you doing! ? Bug off! Oww I see you've got a lot of calls from him. Yuta, phone call Why is it me? It doesn't have anything to do with me! Well, we'll just have Yuta pay off everything. This room... I just can't shake the feeling that I am being watched. Don't you feel it too? Something's fishy. Who's peeping at us! ? I am gonna kill you! ...and I order a hot cocoa, and what do you think my friend ordered?
No idea. A hot ice tea. Hot ice tea... What in the world is that suppose to mean? I wouldn't be able to understand that. Ah, good night. Good night. Thanks for the meal. No, let's go again sometime. - Good night. - Good night. What do we do with this? If no one wants it, I will take it. Okay. Nope. Okay, I will leave the rest to you guys. I am going to get my share from Yuta. See you. Thanks. This is a present from Yuta. Mr. Konishi. I have important business with you regarding Satsuki Sugiura. Mr. Konishi. I'm not here! Konishi, get your butt out. Konishi! Mr. Konishi moved out already. I think it was 2 days ago? Oh really? I don't know what to do anymore.
The cell phone won't connect. When I went to his house I found out he moved. I have no idea where he works. He went missing and I lost contact with him completely Hmm... I don't know. It seems like a mystery novel. Okay your left hand's index finger. Using this kind of method to shake me off. That's so low. Ok, thank you. If I know he's going to do this, I would've break up with him. Ah. So annoying. If he's that kind of man isn't it just perfect? You don't have to deal with him and he disappears from your life. Consider yourself lucky. In fact, I think it's better for you to thinking that way. Really? Hey, Ryo do you find me attractive? Of course. - You think so? - Yes. Then have you ever thought about having sex with me? You are drunk aren't you? Answer me. Have you? - Yea, I've thought about it. - Eh? Since when?
Eh? Since when? When we first met. Ah... I suppose. That's so dirty... That means when I came here with packages, you wanted to do me? - You're too drunk. - How indecent. The thing is, even though he breaking up with me is still very irritating. I don't feel sad at all. Instead, I feel a sense of freedom. That's right, maybe I am lucky. Ryo, let's dance. No, I am fine. What is it? Something wrong? No, it's something with me. What's the problem? It's just... you are different from the Satsuki I know. Isn't that a funny thing to say? You don't know anything about me. But... It's alright, I forgive you. I am going back. Don't worry, I am not mad or sad. Good night. Ahh... Good night. Damn it.
Yes. What now? What do you want? Why do I have to pay for your debt? - Give it back. - Debt? What debt? Give my money back! Satsuki, because of you, my life is all messed up. I want to screw you... I want to screw you... Yuta, don't tell me you're the one... It doesn't matter what you do, no matter where you are, we'll be together... NO! NO! Such a pretty face. NO! Come on. Cry! Scream! Help! I got you... I caught you... See? Someone help me... - No! - Cry, come one! Cry, come one! Get out, Satsuki. Get out of here!
So have you slept with Satsuki already? That's none of your business. Did you make her lick? Did Satsuki lick yours already? Yea. It was great. I made her do it the whole day! What a witch. Aren't you embarrassed? What a shame! Did you do her back? Did you do her from the back? Of course I did. Back, top, whatever, I screwed her over and over! What have you done? Die! I am not going to give in to your conspiracy! You had sex with her! You had sex with Satsuki! Hey, that's no good, Yuta. Out doing something like this... Get ahold of yourself and pay back your debt. With that said, let's go, Yuta. Yes, let's go. Ryo. - You okay? - Yea, I am fine. There's blood coming out, what do we do? - Don't worry, it's just a scratch. - Really?
Oh man... He's really lost it. He's crazy. Ryo, I am going to wash myself off. When I am calmed down, I will come back and properly thank you. Got it. Thank you so much. Take it easy. Ok. I will see you later. So what did I tell you? You're lucky you broke up with him. Ryo. Satsuki! Umm... I... You see... Let's begin. Oh. Hey, Burton. Who is this? This is my girlfriend. - Girlfriend? - Hi. I'm Christine. Are you freaking kidding me? I'm breaking up with you. Christine... - You kissed me.
You kissed me. - You kissed me. You kissed me. Damn it if I wouldn't kiss you again right now. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No. Great food-- no atmosphere. Okay. That's good. All right, who wants some more pancakes? Okay, my turn. A traveling salesman stops at a farm. The farmer has three daughters and a cow. Richard! Richard, no. There's no more coffee. Richard finished it off. Oh, Richard did. Yeah, just make some more. I don't know how. So, honey, what do you think? First day of fourth grade. New teacher. - Are you nervous? - No. 'Cause even though you're nervous, honey, and you're gonna miss Mrs. Belt, remember, you're getting a new teacher who might even be better than Mrs. Belt. Better how? Well... I had a fourth-grade teacher who was really nice. He even took us camping once.
Just the girls. Oh, Richard, you know what, you better get going, if you're going to finish the drywall in the laundry room. I'm not paying you to eat pancakes. You're not paying me at all. Say good-bye to your bonus. Okay, buddy, you need to go upstairs and brush your teeth. - Not just the front two. - Okay. Yeah, you've got to brush all the ones that show. - Okay, I'll take him. Oh! - Oh, what a big boy. I want him gone. What is your problem? He is here all the time, drinks all the coffee. He eats all the food. He falls asleep on the couch with his hand in his pants. And if he's doing all that, what do you need me for? Oh, come on. I need you. You're my brother. It's in my will. You're pulling my plug. Wait. I thought Mom was pulling your plug. No, Mom is pulling your plug. You're pulling my plug. You know what? Pull your own plug. Come on.