SeppeV/example_user_recs · Datasets at Hugging Face

user_recs stringlengths 43 799
A trailer in a movie theater ended with "November 20th" and a guy loudly said, "thats my birthday" and a random guy said "happy birthday"
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?" God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
After sex with my new girlfriend last night she snuggled up next to me and said, "You are definitely the biggest I've ever had." Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response. Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn. [
Hitler went to a fortune teller and asked her “on what day will I die?” The fortune teller assured him that he would die on a Jewish holiday. “Why are you so sure of that?” demanded Hitler. “Any day”, she replied, “on which you die will be a Jewish holiday”.
I clicked on an ad for horny single women in my area and got a virus... It was chlamydia.
Does anybody know the name of that Godzilla Movie? It's the one where another monster actually breaks one of Godzilla's legs. I can't remember the name of the movie, but it has a huge cast.
Two jumper cables walk into a restaurant. A waiter says, “You two better not start anything.”
Trump said... Trump said in his campaign that if I voted for Clinton, I would be stuck with a criminal president under constant federal investigation from day one. Turns out, he was right. I voted for Clinton and I'm stuck with a criminal president under federal investigation from day one. This isn't my joke, but I never saw it on Reddit before. I don't know the source.
Do you know how Chris Brown’s girlfriend found out that he had been cheating on her? She found another girl’s lipstick on his fist.
At a wedding I whispered to a guy next to me, "Isn't the bride a right ugly dog" "Do you mind. That's my daughter you're talking about" "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were her father''... "I'm not . . . I'm her fucking mother.
A man went to the hardware store and asked for nails. “How long do you want them?” asked the salesman. “Oh,” said the customer, “I was rather hoping to keep them.
Have you heard about the guy with 5 penises? His underwear fits like a glove.
ELIZABETH: Why did the turtle cross the road? KATE: Tell me. ELIZABETH: To get to a Shell station.
Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, “Are you worried about mad cow disease?” The other one says, “No, it doesn’t worry me. I’m a horse!”
My favorite one liner Using single ply toilet paper is the best way of getting in touch with your inner self.
What did cinderella say when she got to the ball? Choking Noises
Pedro: What did the astronaut cook in his skillet? Ben: I don’t know. Pedro: Unidentiﬁed frying objects.
ENZO: What do you call a fairy tale made by a giraffe? EMILY: What? ENZO: A tall tale.
"Son, I wanted to let you know you were adopted," my dad told me. "Are you kidding? Really?" I shouted. "Yup, get ready," he said. "They'll be picking you up in about an hour."
I wasn't sure what to wear to my Pre-Mature Ejaculators Anonymous meeting... so I just came in my pants.
I got pulled over by a female cop... When I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong, she said "NOTHING"
So a man says to a woman, can I smell your vagina? Horrified, she slaps him and screams "NO"! He rubs his cheek and says, "I guess it must be your feet then."
Did you guys hear about the new porno about the Gorilla? It's called Harambe's Out for Dicks
PETER: What’s the name of a pop singer with the flu? LOGAN: Dunno. PETER: Miley Virus.
My mother handed me $20 "Take your brother to see a movie for his birthday. Keep him out until 2:00 while your father and I set up his surprise party." That was the day I realized my brother was the favourite twin.
A redditor is searching for the funniest joke of all time, so he subscribes to r/jokes. After a short while, and a few small chuckles, he realises he's reading the same shit over and over again, post after post. "I'm never going to find a real joke", he thinks. He sighs and tilts his head in dismay. Looking down he starts to read the thread and it hits him...
CAN THE ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY MAN. HE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HIMSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HIS JUNK. HE IS OFFERING UP AN IPHONE X IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 8 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.
How many redditors does it take to post a joke to /r/Jokes? Three. One to post it, another to post a better punchline in the comment section, and another to repost it with the new punchline.
I was watching some strange porn the other night... ...it had a fat naked guy perched on the end of his bed, crying while he masterbated. Then I realised I hadn't turned the tv on.
I am the janitor of the World Trade center back in 2001 - AmA Edit: Wow this blew up.
A cowboy walks into a German car dealership and says "Audi, pardner."
A doctor tells his patient he has to stop masturbating... probably NSFW "Why?" the man asked. "Because I'm trying to examine you."
Why did the console player cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side.
The other day, an ex girlfriend of mine was hit by a bus near my house And I thought to myself "that could've been me" Then I remembered - I can't drive a bus
Aaron: Excuse me, waiter, is there spaghetti on the menu? Waiter: No, but we have some in the kitchen.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage "No, I'm travelling light" \[]/
The inventor of predictive text has died His funfair is hello on sundial.
Logan: Did you hear about the umbrella factory that got shut down? Lee: No. What happened? Logan: There was too much overhead!
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One fish turns to the other and says, "DAM."
I told my son to stop playing Russian roulette, but you know how it is with kids... In one ear, out the other!
What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, has choked people when used improperly, and works best when jerked? A seatbelt.
A surgeon was put on trial for sewing several people's genitals to their faces. When asked why he would commit such a heinous crime he replied "Eh, just to fuck with their heads."
[At gang interview] GangLeader: You wanna be in our gang Me: Yep GL: What qualities do you.. M: *Already snapping fingers GL: You're in
Milk Me: Hey, thanks for the glass of milk earlier Sperm bank employee: What glass of milk Me: The glass of milk that was sitting on your desk Sperm bank employee: Oh no Me: What Sperm bank employee: You drank my glass of milk
A seal walks into a club And soon after an Inuit family has a nice meal.
How do you get an elderly lady to say f***? Get another one to say bingo
A WEASEL WALKS INTO A RESTAURANT, and the waitress asks, “What would you like to drink?” “Pop!” goes the weasel.
Drew: Which newspaper did cavemen read? Jeremy: I dunno. Drew: The prehistoric times!
What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass? "Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"
Max: Did you hear about the camping trip? Kevin: No. Max: It was in tents.
The other day my buddy asked me if I wanted a warm Budweiser I replied, " No its fine, I brought my own piss, ill just drink that. "
Scout: What happened to the sailor when he did poorly on his boating test? Sailor: Beats me. Scout: He got C-sick.
I heard there was an homosexual in my football team. I hope it's Josh. He's pretty cute.
My wife said she wanted just one child of each gender I told her "how about just one boy and one girl? I don't want to contribute to overpopulation."
Creating a joke is one thing. But delivering it is another. I think my mother did a commendable job in that regard.
Did you hear about McDonald's trying to get into the high end steakhouse market? It was a Big Mcsteak
Unicorn: Come on man, do it just one more time. Dragon: This is the last time. Unicorn: Hell yeah! Dragon: [toasts unicorns marshmallow]
Nathanael: Knock, knock. Cindy: Who's there? Nathanael: Distressing. Cindy: Distressing, who? Nathanael: Distressing has too much vinegar!
Donald Trump asked if the Pope could hear his confession while in NY The Pope said he would like to, but he's on a busy schedule and he doesn't have all day.
What did the Nazi say to the pregnant Jew? I see you have another Jew in the oven.
A wife asks her programmer husband to go to the store.. 'Can you go down to the store, and get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6.' Later on he returns home and she looks at his purchases and says 'Why the fuck do you have 6 gallons of milk?' He responded 'They had eggs.'
A man at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit him.
IZZY: Want to hear a pizza joke? ZACK: Sure. IZZY: OK, but it’s a little cheesy.
What do you call the score keeper at a jihadi football game? The Taliman.
Did you hear the latest joke about Baltimore? It's a riot
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. .... Only a fraction of joke lovers will find this funny.
I sold some baby laxative to a junkie and told him it was cocaine... The next day he told me that was the best shit he ever had.
A man is washing his car with his son. The son asks, “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”
A newly wedded desperate soldier .. A newly wedded desperate soldier sends a hand-grenade to his mother-in-law, with a note: Dearest Mom, If you pull this ring, I'll be able to get 3 days leave. :P
[1st day as lifeguard] Guy: there's someone drowning in the water Me [not looking up from phone]: well it'd be hard to drown in the sand
MICHAEL: What starts with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters? CAITLIN: What? MICHAEL: A post office.
I went into a convenience store today... I asked the shop keeper if they sell stationery there. He replied no, they're allowed to move around.
[Riding a saddled turtle] BATTLE TORTOISE, GOOOO!! [turtle just goes normal speed for turtles] Aww man.
Guy having sex says "damn, there should be a law against sex this good" To which the girl replies "I think there is daddy"
My father told me that I'm in the 1% He also mentioned that condoms work 99% of the time.
PABLO: What material did the turkey use to build a driveway? CARSON: Not a clue. PABLO: Gobblestones.
What did the tumblr user do when she got arthritis? Massage a knee.
A blind man walks into a bar The bartender says "Oh hey! I haven't seen you in forever!" The blind man says "same"
The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup... I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet." ---
I recently joined a nudist colony.. The first week was the hardest
I once met a detective who would copy drawings of penises in his spare time. I think his name was Dick Tracey
I got pulled over by the police ... He came to the window and said papers ... I said - scissors, I win - and drove off He must be desperate for a rematch as he's been chasing me for ages!
[a girl favs my tweet] [goes to pharmacy] one condom please
My wife was in labour and started shouting "Wouldn't, couldn't, shouldn't, didn't, can't!" "Don't worry" said the midwife "they're just contractions"
KATHRYN: What did the moon say to calm the sun when it feared the eclipse? TANYA: I don’t know. KATHRYN: “Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered.”
A horse walks into a bar and the bartender goes, "Why the long face?" So the horse proceeds to rampage around the bar because he's a fucking horse.
A maybe original one-liner "I put blood, sweat, and tears into my work," said the disgusting bartender.
Asian guy walks into a bar He sits down at the the bar and start drinking a beer. The guy next to him ask: you know kung fu or karate or any or this shit? The asian guy replies: why you ask this, is because I chinese? The other guy replies no it’s because you’re drinking my fucking beer.
Benjamin: “I have wings and a tail; across the sky is where I sail. I have no eyes, ears or mouth. What am I?” Jane: I don’t know. Benjamin: A kite.
Why did the dyslexic man have slime on his face? Because I told him a good joke.
A Roman soldier is bragging to his friend: 'You'll never guess with how many women I've slept!' 'Mmm?' 'Not that many!'
I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia. She whispered: "They're right behind you."
Nathan: What did the baseball glove say to the ball? Kyle: I’m stumped. Nathan: “Catch ya later!”
Theodore Roosevelt had sage words for men needing dating advice. Speak softly and have a big dick.
ELIZABETH: When do astronauts eat? DANIELLE: When? ELIZABETH: At launch time.
I bought a theremin But I haven’t touched it in years. I’m sorry to anyone who gets it.
Manan: Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Theo: Why? Manan: Because every play has a cast.
Andrew: What did the horse say when it fell down? Teddy: I haven’t a clue. Andrew: “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up!”
Ben: What did the butcher say to a ﬁrst-time customer? Seth: I have no idea. Ben: “Nice meating you.”
As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me, with tears in his eyes and said, “You know, one would have been enough.”

A trailer in a movie theater ended with "November 20th" and a guy loudly said, "thats my birthday" and a random guy said "happy birthday"

After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?" God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."

After sex with my new girlfriend last night she snuggled up next to me and said, "You are definitely the biggest I've ever had." Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response. Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn. [

Hitler went to a fortune teller and asked her “on what day will I die?” The fortune teller assured him that he would die on a Jewish holiday. “Why are you so sure of that?” demanded Hitler. “Any day”, she replied, “on which you die will be a Jewish holiday”.

I clicked on an ad for horny single women in my area and got a virus... It was chlamydia.

Does anybody know the name of that Godzilla Movie? It's the one where another monster actually breaks one of Godzilla's legs. I can't remember the name of the movie, but it has a huge cast.

Two jumper cables walk into a restaurant. A waiter says, “You two better not start anything.”

Trump said... Trump said in his campaign that if I voted for Clinton, I would be stuck with a criminal president under constant federal investigation from day one. Turns out, he was right. I voted for Clinton and I'm stuck with a criminal president under federal investigation from day one. This isn't my joke, but I never saw it on Reddit before. I don't know the source.

Do you know how Chris Brown’s girlfriend found out that he had been cheating on her? She found another girl’s lipstick on his fist.

At a wedding I whispered to a guy next to me, "Isn't the bride a right ugly dog" "Do you mind. That's my daughter you're talking about" "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were her father''... "I'm not . . . I'm her fucking mother.

A man went to the hardware store and asked for nails. “How long do you want them?” asked the salesman. “Oh,” said the customer, “I was rather hoping to keep them.

Have you heard about the guy with 5 penises? His underwear fits like a glove.

ELIZABETH: Why did the turtle cross the road? KATE: Tell me. ELIZABETH: To get to a Shell station.

Two cows are standing in a field. One cow says to the other, “Are you worried about mad cow disease?” The other one says, “No, it doesn’t worry me. I’m a horse!”

My favorite one liner Using single ply toilet paper is the best way of getting in touch with your inner self.

What did cinderella say when she got to the ball? *Choking Noises*

Pedro: What did the astronaut cook in his skillet? Ben: I don’t know. Pedro: Unidentiﬁed frying objects.

ENZO: What do you call a fairy tale made by a giraffe? EMILY: What? ENZO: A tall tale.

"Son, I wanted to let you know you were adopted," my dad told me. "Are you kidding? Really?" I shouted. "Yup, get ready," he said. "They'll be picking you up in about an hour."

I wasn't sure what to wear to my Pre-Mature Ejaculators Anonymous meeting... so I just came in my pants.

I got pulled over by a female cop... When I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong, she said "NOTHING"

So a man says to a woman, can I smell your vagina? Horrified, she slaps him and screams "NO"! He rubs his cheek and says, "I guess it must be your feet then."

Did you guys hear about the new porno about the Gorilla? It's called Harambe's Out for Dicks

PETER: What’s the name of a pop singer with the flu? LOGAN: Dunno. PETER: Miley Virus.

My mother handed me $20 "Take your brother to see a movie for his birthday. Keep him out until 2:00 while your father and I set up his surprise party." That was the day I realized my brother was the favourite twin.

A redditor is searching for the funniest joke of all time, so he subscribes to r/jokes. After a short while, and a few small chuckles, he realises he's reading the same shit over and over again, post after post. "I'm never going to find a real joke", he thinks. He sighs and tilts his head in dismay. Looking down he starts to read the thread and it hits him...

CAN THE ADMINS OF THIS GROUP DO A BETTER JOB OF MONITORING WHO IS ALLOWED IN HERE PLEASE?! WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER, AN ELDERLY MAN. HE'S BEEN PRIVATELY MESSAGING MEMBERS, SENDING THEM NAKED PICTURES OF HIMSELF IN NASTY POSES ALONG WITH CLOSE UPS OF HIS JUNK. HE IS OFFERING UP AN IPHONE X IN EXCHANGE FOR SEXUAL FAVORS. I AM ESPECIALLY BOTHERED BECAUSE IT TURNED OUT TO BE AN IPHONE 8 AND OBVIOUSLY SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH IT. IT'S SUPER SLOW AND THE CAPS LOCK IS STUCK ON.

How many redditors does it take to post a joke to /r/Jokes? Three. One to post it, another to post a better punchline in the comment section, and another to repost it with the new punchline.

I was watching some strange porn the other night... ...it had a fat naked guy perched on the end of his bed, crying while he masterbated. Then I realised I hadn't turned the tv on.

I am the janitor of the World Trade center back in 2001 - AmA Edit: Wow this *blew* up.

A cowboy walks into a German car dealership and says "Audi, pardner."

A doctor tells his patient he has to stop masturbating... probably NSFW "Why?" the man asked. "Because I'm trying to examine you."

Why did the console player cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side.

The other day, an ex girlfriend of mine was hit by a bus near my house And I thought to myself "that could've been me" Then I remembered - I can't drive a bus

Aaron: Excuse me, waiter, is there spaghetti on the menu? Waiter: No, but we have some in the kitchen.

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage "No, I'm travelling light" \[]/

The inventor of predictive text has died His funfair is hello on sundial.

Logan: Did you hear about the umbrella factory that got shut down? Lee: No. What happened? Logan: There was too much overhead!

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One fish turns to the other and says, "DAM."

I told my son to stop playing Russian roulette, but you know how it is with kids... In one ear, out the other!

What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, slides neatly into a hole, has choked people when used improperly, and works best when jerked? A seatbelt.

A surgeon was put on trial for sewing several people's genitals to their faces. When asked why he would commit such a heinous crime he replied "Eh, just to fuck with their heads."

[At gang interview] GangLeader: You wanna be in our gang Me: Yep GL: What qualities do you.. M: *Already snapping fingers GL: You're in

Milk Me: Hey, thanks for the glass of milk earlier Sperm bank employee: What glass of milk Me: The glass of milk that was sitting on your desk Sperm bank employee: Oh no Me: What Sperm bank employee: You drank my glass of milk

A seal walks into a club And soon after an Inuit family has a nice meal.

How do you get an elderly lady to say f***? Get another one to say bingo

A WEASEL WALKS INTO A RESTAURANT, and the waitress asks, “What would you like to drink?” “Pop!” goes the weasel.

Drew: Which newspaper did cavemen read? Jeremy: I dunno. Drew: The prehistoric times!

What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass? "Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"

Max: Did you hear about the camping trip? Kevin: No. Max: It was in tents.

The other day my buddy asked me if I wanted a warm Budweiser I replied, " No its fine, I brought my own piss, ill just drink that. "

Scout: What happened to the sailor when he did poorly on his boating test? Sailor: Beats me. Scout: He got C-sick.

I heard there was an homosexual in my football team. I hope it's Josh. He's pretty cute.

My wife said she wanted just one child of each gender I told her "how about just one boy and one girl? I don't want to contribute to overpopulation."

Creating a joke is one thing. But delivering it is another. I think my mother did a commendable job in that regard.

Did you hear about McDonald's trying to get into the high end steakhouse market? It was a Big Mcsteak

Unicorn: Come on man, do it just one more time. Dragon: This is the last time. Unicorn: Hell yeah! Dragon: [toasts unicorns marshmallow]

Nathanael: Knock, knock. Cindy: Who's there? Nathanael: Distressing. Cindy: Distressing, who? Nathanael: Distressing has too much vinegar!

Donald Trump asked if the Pope could hear his confession while in NY The Pope said he would like to, but he's on a busy schedule and he doesn't have all day.

What did the Nazi say to the pregnant Jew? I see you have another Jew in the oven.

A wife asks her programmer husband to go to the store.. 'Can you go down to the store, and get a gallon of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6.' Later on he returns home and she looks at his purchases and says 'Why the fuck do you have 6 gallons of milk?' He responded 'They had eggs.'

A man at a baseball game wondered why the ball kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit him.

IZZY: Want to hear a pizza joke? ZACK: Sure. IZZY: OK, but it’s a little cheesy.

What do you call the score keeper at a jihadi football game? The Taliman.

Did you hear the latest joke about Baltimore? It's a riot

There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. .... Only a fraction of joke lovers will find this funny.

I sold some baby laxative to a junkie and told him it was cocaine... The next day he told me that was the best shit he ever had.

A man is washing his car with his son. The son asks, “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?”

A newly wedded desperate soldier .. A newly wedded desperate soldier sends a hand-grenade to his mother-in-law, with a note: Dearest Mom, If you pull this ring, I'll be able to get 3 days leave. :P

[1st day as lifeguard] Guy: there's someone drowning in the water Me [not looking up from phone]: well it'd be hard to drown in the sand

MICHAEL: What starts with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters? CAITLIN: What? MICHAEL: A post office.

I went into a convenience store today... I asked the shop keeper if they sell stationery there. He replied no, they're allowed to move around.

[Riding a saddled turtle] BATTLE TORTOISE, GOOOO!! [turtle just goes normal speed for turtles] Aww man.

Guy having sex says "damn, there should be a law against sex this good" To which the girl replies "I think there is daddy"

My father told me that I'm in the 1% He also mentioned that condoms work 99% of the time.

PABLO: What material did the turkey use to build a driveway? CARSON: Not a clue. PABLO: Gobblestones.

What did the tumblr user do when she got arthritis? Massage a knee.

A blind man walks into a bar The bartender says "Oh hey! I haven't seen you in forever!" The blind man says "same"

The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if I'd like to masturbate in the cup... I said, "Well, I'm pretty good, but I don't think I'm ready to compete just yet." ---

I recently joined a nudist colony.. The first week was the hardest

I once met a detective who would copy drawings of penises in his spare time. I think his name was Dick Tracey

I got pulled over by the police ... He came to the window and said papers ... I said - scissors, I win - and drove off He must be desperate for a rematch as he's been chasing me for ages!

[a girl favs my tweet] [goes to pharmacy] one condom please

My wife was in labour and started shouting "Wouldn't, couldn't, shouldn't, didn't, can't!" "Don't worry" said the midwife "they're just contractions"

KATHRYN: What did the moon say to calm the sun when it feared the eclipse? TANYA: I don’t know. KATHRYN: “Don’t worry. I’ve got you covered.”

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender goes, "Why the long face?" So the horse proceeds to rampage around the bar because he's a fucking horse.

A maybe original one-liner "I put blood, sweat, and tears into my work," said the disgusting bartender.

Asian guy walks into a bar He sits down at the the bar and start drinking a beer. The guy next to him ask: you know kung fu or karate or any or this shit? The asian guy replies: why you ask this, is because I chinese? The other guy replies no it’s because you’re drinking my fucking beer.

Benjamin: “I have wings and a tail; across the sky is where I sail. I have no eyes, ears or mouth. What am I?” Jane: I don’t know. Benjamin: A kite.

Why did the dyslexic man have slime on his face? Because I told him a good joke.

A Roman soldier is bragging to his friend: 'You'll never guess with how many women I've slept!' 'Mmm?' 'Not that many!'

I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia. She whispered: "They're right behind you."

Nathan: What did the baseball glove say to the ball? Kyle: I’m stumped. Nathan: “Catch ya later!”

Theodore Roosevelt had sage words for men needing dating advice. Speak softly and have a big dick.

ELIZABETH: When do astronauts eat? DANIELLE: When? ELIZABETH: At launch time.

I bought a theremin But I haven’t touched it in years. I’m sorry to anyone who gets it.

Manan: Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Theo: Why? Manan: Because every play has a cast.

Andrew: What did the horse say when it fell down? Teddy: I haven’t a clue. Andrew: “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddy up!”

Ben: What did the butcher say to a ﬁrst-time customer? Seth: I have no idea. Ben: “Nice meating you.”

As I handed my Dad his 50th birthday card, he looked at me, with tears in his eyes and said, “You know, one would have been enough.”