ID int64 1 232k | Joke stringlengths 10 200 | joke_or_not bool 2
classes |
|---|---|---|
101 | You know... When someone says to you "Jesus loves you." It's always comforting. Unless you are in a Mexican jail. | true |
102 | When I hear "This call is being monitored for quality assurance" I think "Cool, let's see how bad this person wants their job." | true |
103 | You know what the definition of "competitive" is? Finishing first *and* third in a circlejerk. | true |
104 | How do you know if your wine was made in the 90's? It smells like teen spirit. | true |
105 | What was the name of Paul Revere's favorite porno mag? The British are Coming | true |
106 | [car wreck] [hand reaches out] "Take my hand. I'm Chad Kroeger from the popular band Nickelback." [I let the flames slowly bake me alive] | true |
107 | Just waiting for Steve Harvey to come out and say it's actually Clinton any second now | true |
108 | Chicken Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To go to the gay guys house Knock knock Who's there? The chicken | true |
109 | Teacher: Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage? Pupil: For a parrot to perch on miss. | true |
110 | I visited Amsterdam this summer, and decided to have sex with a prostitute. It was an overall positive experience. Sadly, it was an HIV positive experience. | true |
111 | Yup. If pasta & antipasta ever touch, they annihilate. For your safety, that's why restaurants never serve them together. | true |
112 | Alcohol is like Lysol for feelings, it won't kill all of them. | true |
113 | When my wife takes a nap, it's "desperately needed rest." When I do, it's "lazy chauvinist party-time." | true |
114 | "Update the Force, young Skywalker" Said Adobe Wan Kenobi. | true |
115 | lookin for a quick and easy way to beef up that scrawny bod and really turn some heads at the beach? float dead in a lake | true |
116 | TIL A ref can show a player the red card for a loud fart ... even if it isn't Messi. | true |
117 | What did the wise man say to the fat guy? You should probably go on a diet. | true |
118 | Who is better? The 3rd wave feminist or the pencil? The pencil is better. It has a point. | true |
119 | Guys, I think I found the Cure to Aids! It requires having a Magic Johnson. | true |
120 | Why do you call a Mexican midget a paragraph? ...because he's too short to be called an essay. | true |
121 | This morning I had a swollen testicle. "I'd have simply preferred toast," I told my wife. | true |
122 | "What's that?" A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in and I'm a little bit closer to freedom. *puts in dollar* "WTH!?!" | true |
123 | What do you call a blonde in a BMW? Optional. | true |
124 | If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say,"Help, they've turned me into a parrot." you are wasting everybody's time. | true |
125 | My 8 y/o memorized my 12 character password that has upper and lowercase letters, numbers and symbols but can't remember to flush the toilet | true |
126 | What do you call a racist dog from Animal Crossing? KKK Slider | true |
127 | Me: waiter, do you have frog legs? Waiter: of course monsieur Me: good, hop over there and get me a beer | true |
128 | It's comforting to know that the US government works the same way as a college student when it comes to deadlines... They both wait until the last minute, then get an extension. | true |
129 | What did the man with The World's Largest Penis say when he had to have his legs amputated "Don't worry, I still have my third one." | true |
130 | What's the worse thing to do to a blind person? Leave a plunger in the toilet | true |
131 | When I was interviewed for a job in the chemistry department, they asked me if I had lab experience. I said I was more of a cat person. | true |
132 | There are two types of people in this world. And I hate them both. | true |
133 | I'd give these pigeons some bread but they'd probably just spend it on drugs. | true |
134 | Two skeptics walk into a bar.. I'd tell you what happens next but noone knows | true |
135 | Everytime you pull the trigger a bullet loses its job...HAHAHAHA! Because it gets FIRED. HAHAHA! *I'm in tears* | true |
136 | In China the labels read, "Made by someone you know." | false |
137 | It would be great to be born on Earth and die on Mars. Preferably not on the point of impact. | true |
138 | You could be a "Before" model. | false |
139 | Descartes walks into the bar. The bartender asks him, "will you have your usual tonight?" Rene replies "I think not" and he disappears. | true |
140 | Anyone want to hear my Human Centipede joke? Nah, I won't tell you it. It sucks ass. | true |
141 | My dog can predict when an earthquake is going to happen. But television doorbell versus actual doorbell baffles him every time. | true |
142 | My favorite knock knock joke. I need someone to start it ... Someone start the knock knock joke ... | true |
143 | My Parents asked me what i wanted for christmas... I said i want something to wear and something to play with. So they got me a pair of pants with the pockets cut out. | true |
144 | With 10K characters, I can finally get into great detail about how I'm not allowed at the company family picnic any more! | true |
145 | [at my funeral] So young, how did he die? He ran into oncoming traffic after walking past a group of adults saying the word "bae" | true |
146 | Stealing my little brother's (fellow Redditor) original joke, hope he sees it and is pissed. What do you get when you cross a pig and a Christmas tree...? A Porky-Pine | true |
147 | What do you call a frisbee that's more than a friend? Frisbae | true |
148 | What does a sheep say after walking into a disgusting, dirty bar? Ew. | true |
149 | What's the best part of a pregnancy joke? The delivery. | true |
150 | I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night. I wanted it to be special | true |
151 | What is the biggest compliment you can pay at a gay bar? Pushing in somebody's stool. | true |
152 | What is your best "Yo mama" joke? | true |
153 | What's a pirate's favourite type of weaponry? It's ARRRtillery! bonus: A pirate's favourite melee weapon? A scimitARRR | true |
154 | Hey, who did you vote for?... I wrote in Michael J. Fox. I think he can really shake things up! | true |
155 | I once had a crippiling masturbation addiction... ...now i have a sex addiction, could you say my addiction has gotten out of hand? | true |
156 | Do it tomorrow. You have made enough mistakes for today. | false |
157 | Why did the Mexican take his Xanax? For hispanic attacks. | true |
158 | *Guy tries giving me his phone number* Me: Oh no thank you. I already have one | true |
159 | I'm glad it's the thought that counts because I spend all day thinking about the shit I should be doing. | true |
160 | A man balks in a war He is discharged for dereliction of duty and takes up drinking. | true |
161 | Instead of calling them flyover states we should call them comments section. | true |
162 | A triangle exploded and a piece hit me. It was a 60-debris angle. | true |
163 | Yo mama so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs. | true |
164 | Does a cow give milk? No, they have to take it from her | true |
165 | Breaking Bad is my favorite documentary about what it takes to be an entrepreneur while balancing family life. | true |
166 | My black cat just ate my four leaf clover. That can't be good....... | true |
167 | Why can't a bike stand on it's own? Because it is two tired. | true |
168 | What did the gay guy say to his lover when they were going on vacation? "Hey, can you help me pack my shit?" | true |
169 | Coworker: Stop Me: collaborate and listen Coworker: Don't Me: you forget about me Coworker: Hey! Me: teacher, leave them kids alone | true |
170 | What's an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you instead of his own. | true |
171 | Why are hillbilly murders hard to solve Because they all share the same DNA | true |
172 | My house is really small until I can't find my phone. | true |
173 | Dear President Obama, I've got a joke for you... I texted it to Angela Merkel. Did you... *get it*? | true |
174 | Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I'm available. | true |
175 | I don't understand women. I also don't understand how a car works but I still drive it. | true |
176 | What are the 3 stages of sex after marriage? Tri-weekly Try Weekly and Try Weakly | true |
177 | How do they calculate global warming? Al-gore-ythms | true |
178 | What happens when Turkeys get the common cold? They quit smoking. | true |
179 | The hands that help others in need are holier than the lips that pray. | false |
180 | What do gays and melons have in common? cantaloupe... | true |
181 | My girlfriend is great in bed... But I don't know how my best friend would know that. | true |
182 | What do you call a Jedi who worries about not making deadlines? Panickin' Skywalker. | true |
183 | Why did the composer go to the chiropractor? Because he had Bach problems | true |
184 | [Justice League HQ] SUPERMAN: Looks like Batman is hungry tonight MOTHMAN: [visibly sweating] I think I'll just fight daytime crimes | true |
185 | If we attacked Turkey from the rear... ...do you think Greece would help? | true |
186 | A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff badum tss | false |
187 | My favourite word is snigger It allows me to be sracist without speople sthinking I'm a sbad sperson | true |
188 | How do you hide an elephant in a fridge? You remove his slippers and open the door . You put him inside. You close the door and take the slippers away. | true |
189 | Pete and repeat are in a boat Pete and repeat are brothers. Pete falls overboard, who's left? | true |
190 | What do you call a green cow in a field? Invisibull. | true |
191 | What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to the gym manager when he was joining a new gym? I'll re-rack. | true |
192 | You're shoes are untied! April fools! Got ya!! | false |
193 | Right now a group of women at a baby shower are simultaneously saying, "Awwww..." while some knocked up chick holds up a tiny pair of socks. | true |
194 | Gentlemen test At least most tests have the decency to ask me my name, before they fuck me. | true |
195 | What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off. | true |
196 | I went in to hospital for an operation... I asked the anaesthetist if I could administer the needle myself, and he said: "Sure, knock yourself out". | true |
197 | A piece of shit walks into a bar It's my dad... My dad is a piece of shit. | true |
198 | What's a snakes favourite dance ? The mamba ! | true |
199 | What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip-off! | true |
200 | What is the last thing that tickle-me elmo gets before he leaves the factory? Two test tickles | true |
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