ID int64 1 232k | Joke stringlengths 10 200 | joke_or_not bool 2
classes |
|---|---|---|
201 | What do you get when you cross a sheep stealer with royalty? Mutton Looter King | true |
202 | An Indian redditor gets an arranged marriage. He turns to his partner and says: "Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!" | true |
203 | What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? ..........Nothing you've already told her twice! | true |
204 | I'd kill for a microwave that plays Europe's "The Final Countdown" during the last 30 seconds. | true |
205 | Did you hear about the skeleton who didn't go to prom? He had no body to go with. | true |
206 | What do you call it when a jugaloo sleeps with his girlfriend after a fight? Make up sex. | true |
207 | How does a baboon make phone calls? He just monkeys around on the line! | true |
208 | Kids are like farts. You don't mind your own, but others peoples are just unbearable | true |
209 | Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse. But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realised I'd hit rock bottom. | true |
210 | I milked the cow "We don't have a cow" the neighbors' cow then "Their cat?" Pretty sure it was a cow he was saying moo "Meow" Ah shoot | true |
211 | Dear Shirtless Guy in his Profile Pic, You REALLY want to impress girls? Get a job & pose in front of your cubicle. | true |
212 | The IRA have been fighting for Irish reunification since the 70s. . . All they needed to do was vote for the Conservatives. | false |
213 | How many Reddit admins does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they like to keep the mods in the dark. | true |
214 | Why is Chapstick so popular? Cause it's the balm baby! | true |
215 | What is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late. | true |
216 | If I was antisocial I wouldn't have just ordered a pizza over the phone. | true |
217 | What's a sluts favourite drink? 7 Up in Cider | true |
218 | Facebook buys Instagram for one billion?!? Idiots!! They could have downloaded it from the app store for .99 cents.. | true |
219 | I may not be getting laid tonight, but I'm definitely banging my snooze button in the morning. | true |
220 | I want to make a series about the murder of an airline crew but I still have to shoot the pilot. | true |
221 | My friend always wanted to work in animation, but never got past the interview He just couldn't understand the difference between a professional "colorist" and a professional "racist" | true |
222 | [sees a zebra for the first time] What's up with that horse? [sees a giraffe for the first time] Okay, what the hell is going on today? | true |
223 | so as I went in to vote this morning, an old lady told me to make sure I voted for the candidate that could make change. Boy, is my bank teller going to be surprised! | true |
224 | You're so fat and unfunny... that the only punchlines you have are stained on your shirt. | true |
225 | A kiss will make her day But anal will make her hole weak | false |
226 | Glue is weird it's all like hey I want to stick these pieces of paper together wait I have an idea hand me that dead horse | true |
227 | Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster? So we can think about a solution in silence | true |
228 | Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I'm "the one," but isn't talking to a police officer. | true |
229 | Some people say Glenn Frey got pneumonia from the cold... But that can't be true because he said the Heat is On. | true |
230 | A duck walks up to a prostitute.... And says, "put it on my bill" | true |
231 | What is the best part about having sex with 23 year olds? There's 20 of them. (Works better in person) | true |
232 | My love for you is like a fart. Everything about it is powered by my heart. | true |
233 | What did the Mexican gang member say when two large houses fell on him during an earthquake? Get off me, homes. | true |
234 | "You're a unit of power Joe." "I'm a Watt?" | true |
235 | I once bought an e. e. cummings poem collection.. It was the worst game of Mad Libs ever. | true |
236 | Why is it that the more numbers someone has in their e-mail address, the less I respect them? | true |
237 | What does the mayonnaise say to the refrigerator? Shut the door im dressing | true |
238 | My bank account status is more scary than the Conjuring! | true |
239 | If you ever need help learning C++, I can give you some pointers. And you can keep me as a reference. | true |
240 | What have you done wrong if the wife keep complaining when you try to watch TV in the living room? You made the chain too long in the kitchen. | true |
241 | A good rule of thumb is to never be in Liam Neeson's movie family. | false |
242 | If you pour two beers in one glass, it's just one beer. | true |
243 | Why was the baby ant so confused? Because all of his uncles were ants! | true |
244 | Don't buy whitening toothpaste It says guaranteed whiteness in 14 days. 15 days have come and gone... and I am still asian. | true |
245 | After the Thanksgiving dinner, everyone says (-1)/8 | true |
246 | Simba - "welcome to... The bone zone" Nala - "the what?" Simba - "elephant graveyard. I said elephant graveyard" | true |
247 | How are doctors so well tempered even under heavy stress? They have a lot of patients | true |
248 | I wonder if dog's had facebook, would they put our picture as their profile picture. | true |
249 | Why are Native Americans the most successfull strippers? Because when they dance, they make it rain. | true |
250 | My ex-girlfriend was a slut. She bust more nuts than a pistachio junkie. edit: Going through a potential breakup, so if you see this, this isnt about you, babe. Dont leave me, please. | true |
251 | Why Did the Ebola Patient Cross the Road? Trick question. There are no roads in Africa. | true |
252 | ME: Haha you can tell them any name and they have to say it BARISTA: I have a latte for "A Person Who Deserves Love"? ME [crying]: Hahaha | true |
253 | Peter Pan escaped the adult world... ...by becoming an alcoholic. He goes by Peter the Panhandler now. | true |
254 | How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony? It's not hard | true |
255 | My Grandfather had the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo. | true |
256 | You just know I knew my girlfriend was furious when I blew my load early last night....I could see it in her eyes | true |
257 | FOR SALE: Faulty Guitar. No strings attached. | true |
258 | An atheist, a vegan, and a crossfit fanatic walk into a bar... Who talks more? | true |
259 | How is light beer like having sex in a canoe? They're both fucking close to water. | true |
260 | How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles. I'll see myself out. | true |
261 | What do you get when you cross an insomniac, agnostic and a dyslexic? Someone who stays up all night wondering if there is a Dog. | true |
262 | What do you call a number that won't sit still? A roamin' numeral. :P | true |
263 | Where do drinks go on vacation? Coaster Rica | true |
264 | I farted in the Apple store and everyone got pissed at me. Not my fault they don't have Windows. | true |
265 | I left Stephen Hawking like 8 voice mail messages before I realised he'd picked up every time. | true |
266 | My terrible Joke but I never forget it. A dyslexic man walked into a bra.... | true |
267 | What type of school did Sherlock Holmes go to? Elementary :) | true |
268 | Believe it or not, my wife and I were actually matched on Tinder. We'd been married for 12 years. | true |
269 | I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream. This kid working at Baskin Robbins is pretty scared. Now he's crying in the corner. | true |
270 | So a Trabi owner pulls up to a gas station... ...and says to the attendant: "Two windscreen wipers for my Trabi please." The attendant replies: "That sounds like a good deal!" | true |
271 | How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, because they'll just beat the room for being black! | true |
272 | Coffee so good it helps a little old lady cross the street. | true |
273 | Why did the semen cross the road? Because I put on the wrong pair of socks this morning. | true |
274 | What did nazi pilots eat for breakfast? Luftwaffles | true |
275 | So a blind man walks into a bar He hurts himself pretty badly. | true |
276 | If you're not one of the first five boys in the yard, you almost never get a milkshake. | true |
277 | sometimes i visit websites that have videos of people making love | true |
278 | Why aren't Tyler Perry movies for the light-hearted? They're dark comedies. | true |
279 | Every woman I've ever been with only saw me the way they wanted to see me... ...in their rearview mirror. | true |
280 | How do you tell the circumference of a pecan Pecan pi | true |
281 | How do you figure out which contestant in a Ms. America pageant is a prostitute? Look for the one with the sash that says "I da ho". | true |
282 | Ethiopian Cuisine... is a bit bland. It tastes like nothing. | true |
283 | I love raccoons. Part cat. Part dog. Part rodent. Part bear. Little people hands. What's not to like? | true |
284 | [Google search history] Moles How to kill moles How to make homemade bombs Rescue moles from cave-in Dealing with regret Mole stew | true |
285 | A guy walks into a bar... Ouch. | true |
286 | Standing in the park, I was wondering why a Frisbee gets larger the closer it gets. And then it hit me. | true |
287 | When in doubt, just do the opposite of whatever the person wearing pajamas in public is doing. | true |
288 | [Ouija board] Spirits are you there? U R C U T E D O Y O U H A V E K I K *flips board* | true |
289 | Not being able to read because your book ran out of batteries is a pretty hilarious first-world problem. | true |
290 | My internet connection on my farm was be terrible until I moved the router in the horse barn. Now I have stable WiFi. | true |
291 | Putting captions in the wrong place You know what I hate the most...? | true |
292 | What does a sheep call a film it doesn't like? a baaahhhd movie. ( ) | true |
293 | An irishman walks out of a bar... | true |
294 | Brexit There is a new slimming product in town. It is called Brexit. It'll help you lose a lot of pounds. | true |
295 | Orange Julius is the third best thing to happen to oranges behind mimosas and the "orange you glad I didn't say banana" knock knock joke | true |
296 | What is a bear's favourite drink ? Koka-Koala ! | true |
297 | Why do golfers wear 2 pairs of pants? Incase he gets a hole in one | true |
298 | How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor. | true |
299 | What is the favorite food joint of dubstep makers? Sub-WUB-WUB-WUB-way | true |
300 | Two fish are in a tank... One is driving, and the other is manning the guns. | true |
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