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so you really think the meter was broken or what? | there was literally no sign saying it was a paid zone and the app wouldn't even load. like what am i supposed to do just manifest coins from the air? |
did you take pictures of everything or just storm off? | oh I got photos of the missing sign and the dead meter and my bank app showing zero transactions. if they want a fight I've got the receipts this time. |
What's the wildest hypothetical you've come up with so far on that drive? | oh man okay so if you had to fight one animal from every state what's the lineup. i'm genuinely losing my mind over like what counts as a vermont animal |
You think you'll actually make it through the whole trip without losing your mind? | honestly i'm three hours in and already debating whether a gas station hot dog is worth the gamble. the mind's been gone for a while now |
what's got you out here this late staring at nothing? | realized i haven't talked to anyone in like a week |
rough night or just thinking? | just sat up and counted the days. seven of 'em. |
remember how you said you'd just toss everything in trash bags and deal with it later? | yeah that strategy got me to 2am and then i hit the wall hard. now i'm sitting in a laundromat staring at a bag of towels like they hold the meaning of life. |
didn't you say the movers were supposed to help with the kitchen stuff? | they showed up, looked at the boxes, and said 'we don't do glassware.' so that's me at 3am wrapping coffee mugs in socks. i think my left eye is twitching. |
Excuse me, what's got you grinning at the window like that? | oh just had this thought — what if cats think we're the ones who don't know how to nap properly. like they watch us and feel bad for us. |
You look like you just remembered something funny — what is it? | okay so you know how train tracks always have those little stones around them. just wondered if the stones ever feel like they're in a constant slow-motion mosh pit. |
babe what are you gonna do about work tomorrow | no idea honestly. just staring at the ceiling like maybe if i don't move it won't be real. three nights and counting and i can't even feel my face anymore. |
how much longer can you keep this up | not long probably. this morning i put milk in the cupboard and cereal in the fridge and just stood there for a minute. like my brain gave up and left a note. |
hold on, you okay? | yeah no totally fine just gripping the yoke way too hard |
wait, what? | got stuck behind someone arguing about oat milk. riveting stuff. |
remember that time you tried to teach me how to parallel park and gave up after ten minutes? | oh yeah that was a disaster, you nearly took out that mailbox and i just sat there laughing until i couldn't breathe. but honestly i think about little stupid things like that more than the big stuff. like the way they always leave the milk carton open on the counter, drives me up a wall, but who's gonna do that next w... |
wasn't there that one night you stayed up till three assembling that rickety bookshelf from ikea? | god don't remind me, the directions might as well have been in ancient greek and we ended up with extra screws, which is just classic us, right? but that's the thing, you don't realize how much space someone takes up until they're about to leave a hole in it. like this balcony, we've sat out here a thousand nights, but... |
so what happened after the raccoon started talking? | it just kept giving me performance reviews from inside a filing cabinet. real specific feedback too, like my spreadsheet margins were 'aggressively wide.' |
did you figure out why you were wearing a bathrobe to a meeting? | turns out it was a board meeting for a company that only sells lint. very serious people in ties taking notes on lint production quotas. |
what's so interesting about those old photos? | these are from a trip to the coast ten years ago. cousin, you remember that beat-up van we rented. look at this one — the light was just hitting the pier this perfect golden way and we'd stayed up all night driving. crazy how a flat piece of paper can carry the exact smell of salt and the sound of waves and the feeling... |
you've been staring at that album for a while now, anything special? | ten years. can you believe it. this one here — we pulled over at some random diner and the coffee was terrible but the pie was this ridiculous homemade thing with a lattice top. the waitress called us kids. kids. we were forty-three. look at those faces though. nobody checking phones. nobody thinking about tomorrow. ju... |
wait what did you discover about your coworker? | the dude who always microwaves fish in the break room is apparently a semi-famous musician on spotify. like millions of plays and everything. found out because his playlist came on at the gate and he just casually hummed along. blew my mind a little bit. |
what's got you staring at the ocean like it owes you money? | roommate ate my emergency lasagna |
you've been quiet for an hour, what happened? | saved the good leftovers all week. poof. gone. |
what's that look on your face about? | smelled grandma's perfume on a stranger in line |
you get quiet all of a sudden — something hit you? | that woman's perfume was a time machine |
Who was that you waved at leaving the diner? | paid for their coffee. left a note that just said 'you looked like you needed this'. |
What's got you smiling at that receipt? | stranger bought my lunch. note said 'keep your chin up, friend'. |
wait so you actually typed 'the end' on it? how did that feel? | you know that moment in movies where the music swells and everything goes quiet? it was exactly like that except i was sitting on my bed in pajamas at 2am. |
so what do you do after you hit something like that, just ride the high all day? | oh man you have no idea. like i was on the call with my trainer and i think i just started giggling like an idiot into the camera. and now i'm just sitting here with my coffee still in my gym clothes because i can't bring myself to change yet. the weird thing is it wasn't even a huge jump, just five pounds over what i'... |
you gonna try to beat it again tomorrow or is this more of a savor-the-moment situation? | god i don't know honestly. part of me wants to go back this afternoon just to see if it was a fluke, but the smart part of my brain is like sit down you fool. the weirdest part is my hands are still kind of shaking a little, like the adrenaline hasn't worn off. and i keep catching myself smiling at nothing while i'm po... |
hey, you still heading back? it's getting kinda dark out | yeah I'm like five blocks from the park but I swear this street looks wrong. phone's at six percent and I keep seeing these weird alley lights flickering. |
did you take the shortcut behind the old laundromat? | thought I did but now there's this fence that wasn't there before and a dog barking somewhere that doesn't sound friendly. kind of wishing I just waited for you honestly. |
wait what happened with the karaoke thing? | oh god. so i'm up there, song's playing, feeling great, right? and i just belt out the wrong chorus with full chest, like i'm convinced that's the lyric. whole place goes quiet for a second and then this guy at the bar just goes 'that's not it.' like thanks dude i know that now. my face was probably the color of the be... |
wait you sang the wrong lyrics? | yeah no i was so confident about it too. like the buildup was perfect, everyone's clapping, i'm feeling like a star. then i hit this line with total authority and my friend just stops mid-sip and stares at me. i kept going though, had to commit at that point. couldn't just stop and be like 'oh sorry wrong words' so i j... |
remember when you told me you'd finish it before your cousin's wedding? | literally typing the last sentence in the car on the way here |
didn't you say the epilogue was giving you trouble back when we first met? | epilogue's done and it's a monster, honestly |
wait what happened to you last night? | came home and just sat there staring at the ceiling fan for like an hour. then started explaining the entire plot of Dune to the cat. |
wait you good? what's going on? | got real deep into the texture of the couch fabric around midnight. like if you think about it too long, a couch is just a really slow waterfall of foam. |
wait you okay? you just went quiet. | found my old college hoodie in the bag. seventeen years gone. |
what happened, you look like you saw a ghost. | that hoodie still smells like the library. gross but nice. |
so are you gonna frame the paper or what, cuz? | cousin, i might just laminate it and carry it in my pocket like a kid with a trading card. seeing our little thing in there... still feels like a dream i'm gonna wake up from. |
bet you've been rereading that paragraph like a love letter, huh? | you caught me. read it on the bench just now and my hands were actually shaking a little. never thought something that started on my kitchen table would end up in newsprint. |
you really got a full-on flashback just watching them, huh? | yeah it's like—okay so she's out there on the sidewalk with her friends just doing this little hopscotch thing except they're using chalk and they keep giggling and falling over and I remember doing that exact same stupid hopscotch outside my grandma's house and the chalk dust would get all over my knees and she'd yell... |
so that's the thing that got you all quiet for the past ten minutes? | pretty much yeah—he just randomly picked up my old guitar that's been in the corner for like a year and started messing with these three chords and the way his fingers were fumbling with it was exactly how I used to sit in my room trying to learn 'Wonderwall' for the millionth time except I never got past that intro an... |
so what's the deal with your ceiling looking like that? | landlord said 'it's just condensation' for three weeks. last night it wasn't condensation. |
how bad was the landlord situation exactly? | told me to put a bucket under it. now the bucket's holding up half the living room. |
what's got you smiling like that in the dark? | oh dude I finally deadlifted two-fifty |
you seem wired tonight, what happened? | h-hit a new PR on squats, could barely walk after |
remember back in the break room, you mentioned something about a childhood dream you had? | you know, i was just thinking about that. sitting here in this room where i spent hours listening to their albums on a scratchy record player, dreaming about seeing them live. and now, front row. like the universe finally decided to line up the stars. the tickets came through this morning and i swear i nearly dropped m... |
didn't you say your dad used to play their stuff on that old stereo in your room? | oh god, yeah. he'd crank it up on sunday mornings, coffee in hand, telling me to listen to the guitar work. and now i get to be right there, close enough to see the sweat on the strings. it's like all those afternoons when i'd pretend to do homework but really i was just staring at the album cover, imagining what it'd ... |
no way, what's the story | right so jenna from hr is usually super quiet right never says boo about anything. but today she's on a call with someone and i'm just walking past her cubicle and i hear her say 'no i don't care if it's his nephew the expense reports are clearly doctored.' and then she sees me and just winks and continues. so obviousl... |
so what's next for you two? gonna film every single thing she says from now on? | god yeah probably. like today she just looked at the cat and went 'that's a fluffy boy' and i nearly dropped the coffee mug. full sentence. not even prompted. my wife looked at me and i was already crying into my cereal like a disaster. you'd think after three years of parenting i'd have some composure but nope. so yea... |
are you going to try and get her to say something else for the grandparents or just let it happen? | oh i tried that. big mistake. put her on facetime with my mom and she just stared into the camera like a tiny hostage refusing to negotiate. wouldn't even say mama. just pointed at the ceiling fan like that was the most interesting thing in the universe. so now i'm just gonna let her cook. honestly it's better that way... |
what were you doing out there at that hour anyway? | trying to find a shortcut back from my friend's place, you know how it is. phone was at like twelve percent and i figured i knew the area well enough. then every street starts looking the same, all these narrow alleys with flickering lights and dogs barking behind gates. kept telling myself it's fine, just keep walking... |
did you try calling anyone or just wander? | called my roommate first but she didn't pick up, probably asleep. then i'm standing there with three percent battery and google maps is just a blank white square cause no signal. every sound was like a jumpscare — a car backfiring, someone's tv blaring through a window, footsteps behind me that turned out to be a cat. ... |
you're getting that look again. the one where you're about to explain the universe to me. | weddings man. all these people dancing like nobody's watching but really everybody's pretending. saw the groom's uncle crying into the punch bowl earlier and something clicked. like we spend our whole lives trying to prove we're not just animals but then someone plays the right song and suddenly we're all just trying t... |
okay but is this the champagne talking or your actual brain at this hour? | bit of both honestly. the champagne just loosened the latch on the cage. but the thoughts were already in there pacing around like caged animals. been watching the married couples all night you know. the ones who've been together thirty years they barely talk. they just pass each other napkins and know exactly what the... |
you mentioned that busker on Main the other night, the one playing the sad cello — still think about that? | yeah actually. the way it cut through everything, all that street noise. made the whole street feel emptier somehow. |
that coffee shop near your campus — did you ever go back to the one with the single stool by the window? | no. that stool just sat there staring at the sidewalk. like the city was showing me exactly how much company i had. |
you keeping it or tossing it? | can't let it go yet, not today |
you look like you've been through a war — what happened? | decided i could pack the whole kitchen myself at 2am. now there's a shattered mug i really liked and my back is staging a protest. |
did you get any sleep at all before coming over? | counted the boxes i still have to fill instead of sheep. think i'm at the point where crying over bubble wrap feels like a valid option. |
remember how you used to hide those letters under your mattress like they were contraband? | yeah. mom found one once and i thought my world was over. reading them now feels like watching a movie of someone i used to be. |
that old shoebox still got the rubber band wrapped around it twice? | three times actually. snapped one when i opened it. sat there on the diner floor for a good minute before i could pick them up. |
wait you just got hit with that out of nowhere? | yeah in the middle of the hospital cafeteria line of all places. this older woman behind me had on the same rose-scented powder my grandma wore and i just stood there like an idiot staring at the jello cups. |
did you actually say something to her or just stand there? | totally froze man. like my brain went straight to sunday afternoons in grandma's kitchen and i couldn't even form a sentence. the smell just grabbed me by the collar and wouldn't let go. |
remember how you always used to say 'goodnight' twice? like it was your thing? | yeah that stopped cold like a week before. didn't even notice at first but now it's the kind of detail that sticks in your head at 3am when you can't sleep |
wasn't there that one song you two always argued over in the car? | still comes on shuffle sometimes. hit skip so fast the other day I almost dropped my phone. stupid how a thirty-second intro can just wreck your whole evening like that |
so you finally got a weird dream that wasn't about missing a flight, huh? | there i was at my old job, but everyone was a cat. just sitting in meetings, typing on keyboards with little paws. boss cat just stared at me till i woke up. |
bet it was one of those dreams where you show up naked to something, right? | nope, worse. i was trying to order coffee but the menu was all in cursive and kept moving around. barista just yawned at me. felt oddly familiar actually. |
you look like you've seen a ghost — what happened at the store? | ran into my high school crush at a gas station in tokyo. thirty-five years and she just walks up like it's nothing. |
did something wild happen on that errand run? | bumped into liz from eleventh grade. outside a 7-eleven in osaka of all places. almost dropped my change. |
Wait, like actually following you or just taking the same route kind of thing? | no I mean like same bus three nights in a row and then getting off at my stop and just standing there at the corner watching me walk down the block. first night I figured coincidence whatever it's a city people exist. second night I started paying attention. third night I took the long way around through the alley behi... |
Did you get a look at them or are we talking vague shadow person? | just vague enough to be useless honestly. hoodie up both times baseball cap pulled low youngish maybe but who even knows. like they're deliberately boring so if I tried to describe them to someone I'd just sound like a paranoid mess. which I guess I am now. the worst part is the bus driver definitely noticed me looking... |
you look wrecked, what happened with that meeting prep? | coffee's cold, notes are a mess, and i'm pretty sure i just nodded off standing up in the stacks. the projector will probably eat my slides alive. |
did you actually get any sleep or is that a stupid question? | slept about three hours between the third cup of coffee and the fourth panic attack. at this point i'm just hoping the dean mistakes my trembling for passion. |
see anything good over there or just a bunch of kids hyped on sugar? | that little guy in the dinosaur shirt just tried to trade his cupcake for a balloon. zero negotiation skills but full commitment, gotta respect it. |
you're way too into watching those parents chase toddlers around, what's the story? | there's a dad over by the bouncy castle who's been trying to open a juice box for five minutes now and the look on his face is like he's defusing a bomb. |
you okay? what's up? | just this sweatshirt from like twenty years ago. |
what's got you all smiley over there, you look like you just won something | okay so you know that one guy from accounting who always acts like he invented spreadsheets and talks down to everyone about formatting and then yesterday he sent out this huge email about a critical error in someone's report and it was literally his own mistake like his own name was on the file and he spent ten minute... |
you've got that look like you know something, spill it | so the intern who always brings those fancy lattes and acts like she's too good for the office coffee machine right well turns out she's been stealing snacks from the shared cupboard for weeks like granola bars and instant noodles the cheap stuff but still and the office manager finally set up a little camera because p... |
you ever just stop and think about something weird for no reason? | okay so i was in the shower earlier and suddenly i'm like... do ceiling fans have a favorite direction? like they must get tired of spinning one way all day. |
what's the most random thing that's crossed your mind today? | was staring at a jar of pickles and realized they're just cucumbers that committed to a bit. like imagine being that confident about a life choice. |
what do you think you'll actually do first now that it's real? | okay so my brain keeps cycling through like three things at warp speed. part of me wants to text that professor who told me I probably wouldn't make the cut—petty, I know, but god it would feel good. another part wants to just sit in the library stacks for an hour staring at the building like it's mine now. and then th... |
so like are you gonna celebrate or just process this for a while? | honestly I've been sitting here in this same carrel for like forty minutes just refreshing the portal over and over to make sure it wasn't a glitch. my hands are still shaking a little. my neighbor saw me pacing outside and asked if I was okay and I just blurted out the news and she screamed so loud some guy in the nex... |
hey, you see that sunrise from the back porch yet? | yeah, been out here maybe an hour now. mug's gone cold but i can't bring myself to go inside. words just started swimming on the page around 2am and i thought maybe fresh air would fix it but now i'm just sitting here watching the light change and thinking about how we used to pull all-nighters in the dorm and you'd ma... |
did you at least sleep before you came out here? | sleep is generous. think i passed out on the couch with my face in a practice test around 4 and woke up when the sprinklers kicked on. stumbled out here in my slippers and now i'm watching this spider rebuild its web between the fence slats and honestly that little guy has more purpose than i do right now. the bar prep... |
remember at uncle roy's wedding when you kept nodding off before the cake cutting even happened | oh god don't remind me. that whole morning was a disaster start to finish. got maybe three hours sleep because the hotel pillows were those weird square ones and the air conditioner sounded like a lawnmower. figured I'd just rest my eyes for a second during the toasts and next thing I know the table's shaking and my co... |
was that you making that weird noise during the speeches or did I imagine it | yeah that was me alright. mortifying doesn't even cover it. I'd been up since four helping set up chairs and my body just gave up at the worst possible moment. woke up to my own snore echoing off the banquet hall walls and the entire table trying not to laugh. even the groom paused mid-sentence. spent the rest of the n... |
no way, what do you mean? | bumped into her at a gas station outside cancun. i was still half asleep and she looked exactly the same. managed to say 'hey' like a malfunctioning robot. |
wait, what happened — you look like you're about to burst | just sent the final manuscript to my editor. three years of scribbling in coffee shops and staying up way too late, and it's actually done. |
hold up, what's going on — you've got that glow | remember that novel i've been banging on about since we were roommates? finally typed 'the end' for real this morning. feels like i just finished a marathon. |
so did you actually scream loud enough to scare the deer or what | oh the deer were fine, my cousin nearly fell off the trail though. that last-second tip-in had me jumping around like a complete idiot in the dark. |
how'd you even see the final play with the flashlight dying like that | honestly just heard the crowd on the stream go nuts and assumed the best. when the phone pinged with the score i tripped over a root doing a victory dance. |
what's with the face you're making? | my mom's voice just came out of my phone |
you look like you saw a ghost, what happened? | found a voicemail from my grandpa |
you good? you're just staring at your phone | that's my dad from like eight years ago |
what's got you so quiet all of a sudden? | grandma left a message I never heard before |
everything okay? you seem shaken | my uncle's voicemail just played out of nowhere |
wait did you seriously think it was a toy at first? | yeah I mean it was all coiled up on the rug and I just thought oh great another one of her weird mousie things. then it moved and I swear my soul left my body for a second. |
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