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hold on, what did they actually do? | took my whole deck. changed the font. called it her vision. |
wait what happened with the photo thing? | okay so i was at the laundromat right, lunchtime crowd, trying to fold a fitted sheet while holding my phone and somehow my thumb just landed on the heart button on this old post from like 2017 where we're at that diner with the broken jukebox. and of course it was the one with her in that yellow dress. now she knows i... |
wait, what happened when you got there? | you know that feeling where you're surrounded by people but completely invisible? yeah that. the noise is just constant and somehow none of it fills the space. |
hold on, what do you mean by too empty? | like the apartment echoes when i breathe and the street buzzes at all hours. weird mix of loud and hollow. guess that's just city life though, right? |
You look like you've been running on fumes all day—what's going on? | oh it's just—mm—the Monday morning meeting. been up since four trying to get the slides right and my brain's like mush. kept dropping my glasses and couldn't find them for ten minutes and they were on my head the whole time. and then the hotel coffee maker did that sputter thing and I nearly cried. just a—a grown man i... |
You seem pretty wound up for this late at night—what's on your mind? | that d-damned Monday meeting. I've done this a thousand times but the older I get the more the details swim. I had three espressos after dinner just to finish the notes and now I'm wired and shaky. checked my tie four times to make sure it's straight and I'm not even wearing it yet. the whole room feels too warm and to... |
remember when you used to say that cat had more nerve than sense? | oh you wouldn't believe what she did this morning. st-strolled in through the cat flap like it was nothing, carrying a live snake in her mouth. nearly gave me a heart attack right there in the kitchen. |
did that old cat of yours ever calm down, or is she still a menace? | menace doesn't even cover it. i'm standing there with my coffee at five in the morning, and she drops a wriggling snake at my feet. just looks up at me like 'what, you wanted breakfast?' |
what was that dream you were trying to tell me about earlier | so there i was in this old high school hallway except it was underwater somehow. my cat was there wearing a little business suit giving a presentation about something. made total sense at the time. |
did you have another one of those weird dreams you get sometimes | okay so last night i dreamed i was trying to parallel park a boat. not even a small one like a full on yacht. and my old boss was in the passenger seat just sighing the whole time. my brain is exhausting honestly. |
wait what happened with mom today | oh she got up at four again that's all |
did something go wrong at the house | nothing new just the same tired loop honestly |
you seem all soft this morning, what happened? | just watching them dance in the kitchen. |
did you do something for your folks' anniversary? | dug up their wedding tape. they're so young. |
remember you said your boss keeps the coffee stirrers in his desk? | oh he's the petty king of the break room |
wasn't that the same guy who microwaved fish last tuesday? | he got ratio'd so bad he brought donuts |
so you're the one who booked the saxophonist for the first dance, huh? | yeah that was me. mom cried before he even hit the chorus so I'm calling it a win even if my wallet's still recovering. |
you gonna tear up when they play their song later? | absolutely not—okay maybe a little. forty years and they still hold hands at red lights, you know? |
so did you at least stick the landing or was it a full faceplant? | more of a slow-motion flail, arms going everywhere, like a drunk flamingo. the silence before the laughter was the worst part. |
bet you made quite an entrance — did anyone try to help you up? | my cousin yelled 'save it for the dance floor' from the back, which got a bigger laugh than my actual fall. just lay there a second, figured why rush. |
so what's your plan for tomorrow—you gonna call the doctor first thing or just wait? | god no, I'll just sit here refreshing my portal every thirty seconds like a maniac. maybe reorganize the spice rack alphabetically to keep my hands busy. |
you think you'll be able to sleep at all tonight or are you just gonna pace? | oh sleep's a joke right now—every time I close my eyes my brain runs a highlight reel of worst-case scenarios. might just binge-watch true crime until my phone rings. |
so you're telling me you actually enjoy the whole sleep-watching thing? | god the way his mouth falls open. it's ridiculous |
is it as weird as it sounds or is there something to it? | nope. catching myself smiling like an idiot |
wait what happened? you look like you're gonna cry | nah just watched her breathe for like ten minutes. dumb but. |
what's with the face man | she was snoring into my shoulder. softest thing ever. |
wait, the cat brought what into the apartment? | a live snake. in my bathroom. at 2am. |
did you at least scream or just freeze up? | just stood there holding a coffee mug for like ten seconds. |
so what's your plan for getting through today? | you know that thing where you're standing on a subway platform and everyone else is just… existing. like reading their phones or whatever. and you're thinking about what a single phone call could do to your whole life. and the train comes and you get on and you just ride. that's the plan I guess. just keep riding until... |
how are you gonna keep from losing it while you wait? | counting tiles under my feet right now. there's this crack in the third one from the yellow line that looks like a question mark. been staring at it for ten minutes. and I keep thinking about how three days ago I was annoyed about a grocery list and now I'm here doing math on how many breaths I take before the next tra... |
Hey, what's with the look on your face? You okay? | Roommate ate the lasagna I was saving for after my shift. like the one specific thing I wrote my name on in big letters. dead serious. |
You're just staring at the tracks — rough day or what? | came home to an empty container in the sink with my name still on it. lasagna i was gonna heat up the second i walked in. gone. |
so what's the plan if it gets worse up there? | pray the wings stay on and try not to let my cousin see my knuckles turn white. y'know, standard teenager survival mode. |
you gonna tell the instructor or just white-knuckle it? | oh i'm definitely white-knuckling it. telling him feels like admitting i shouldn't be up here. plus the altitude is free air conditioning. |
wait who just paid for your coffee? | some random guy at the counter. left a note that just said 'keep smiling'. |
what was on that note anyway? | just 'you got this' with a little heart. my throat's still tight about it. |
you still listen to that song from way back? | oh man, it still hits the same spot. |
did that bring back the gymnasium flashbacks or what? | total time warp honestly. |
you look a bit green around the gills there, rough day? | yeah you could say that. first time flying solo and the plane decided to act like a washing machine mid-air. never been so happy to feel solid ground. |
everything okay? you seem like you've seen a ghost. | just reliving the worst turbulence of my life from a few hours ago. the plane dropped so hard my stomach stayed up there for a second. passenger next to me gripped my arm like we were dying together. |
wait you came straight from a double shift to a wedding? how are you even standing right now | girl I honestly don't know what day it is. clocked out and my scrubs were still damp so I just threw the dress on in the car. |
did you at least grab a drink before you got here or are you running on pure adrenaline | champagne is literally the only thing keeping my eyes open. forgot to eat lunch and now the floor keeps tilting a little. ha |
so wait, they just stood up there and said it like it was theirs? | yeah, just stood there at the whiteboard with my slides up and everything, didn't even mention my name once. my dog was looking at me like why are you making that face. |
what did you do when nobody said anything? | sat there with my coffee going cold, just staring at the back of their head thinking about that time they asked me to help them with the coffee machine. some things you don't forget. |
wait what happened up there | you know the part in bohemian rhapsody where it goes into the opera bit? yeah i belted out 'mama mia let me go' like five bars too early. in front of everyone. |
hold on, what'd you do | stood there full confidence while the track was still on the piano intro. didn't even realize until the actual lyrics kicked in and i'm just dying inside next to the mic stand. |
hey remember when you made me try that weird spicy mango from the corner cart | oh god those letters are a whole time capsule. there's one where she's complaining about my roommate at the time and i'd completely forgotten that drama even happened. |
did you ever get that playlist back from her or is it lost to the void | found a mix cd she burned me in that box actually. classic 2000s angsty indie rock. funny how i can still smell her car just thinking about it. |
wait, what exactly did he yell at the checkout? | full volume, right when it got quiet. something about the cashier's mustache looking like a caterpillar that fell asleep on her face. |
did you just pretend it wasn't happening or what? | tried to laugh it off but my face was doing that hot thing. grabbed a bag of frozen peas and held it up like I was reading the ingredients. |
hold on, what's that about? | came out to the car, little orange envelope. 'no payment' — mate i paid three hours ago, got the receipt on my phone. gonna fight it obviously but still. kills the buzz. |
so you think the nurses noticed you staring at your phone all evening? | yeah probably. that little 'happy birthday' ding that never came. |
did you finally eat something or just keep refreshing your messages? | just sat here watching the clock. like maybe she'd remember by midnight or something. |
hey you remember that time in high school when you forgot your own locker combination and just sat there staring at it for ten minutes? | god yeah that was such a mess and i was so embarrassed but like seeing you just now at the gate? i don't know my brain just kinda short-circuited the same way. like you were just there and i couldn't even get words out at first because you weren't supposed to be there you know? you were supposed to be three states away... |
remember when we tried to build that ridiculously ambitious treehouse and ended up with just a platform and a bunch of splinters? | oh god the treehouse. that was such a disaster but honestly seeing you walk through those sliding doors this morning? felt exactly like that moment when we finally got the stupid platform level and we just sat there looking at the view and neither of us said anything because it was just perfect. you didn't even tell me... |
so did you accidentally hit send to the wrong person or what | oh it was worse. sent it to the group chat that includes her. watched the read receipt pop up from across the train car. |
bet that made the 3am train ride real fun | could feel my face burning even in the dark. just sat there staring at the station map like it held the answers to everything. |
remember that time you ordered the wrong thing online and it turned out better? | this package shows up with some guy's name on it. opened it anyway and it's the exact thing i'd been looking at for months. almost dropped it. |
you still laugh about that mix-up at the old office, right? | so there's this box on the porch with a name i don't recognize. peel it open and it's literally the thing i had bookmarked. stood there for a solid minute just staring. |
what's in the box you're holding so carefully? | letters from a girl i used to swap mix CDs with back in freshman year. haven't thought about her in years but she underlined every line she liked in my dumb poetry. |
you've been staring at that envelope for like ten minutes, what's the story? | we used to write these long rants about our professors and then just... stopped. funny how you can know someone's handwriting better than their face eventually. |
remember how you used to fold the rejection letters into paper airplanes and launch them off the balcony? | that was back when getting turned down still felt like a plot twist. this one just felt like the ending. |
you always brought home those little hotel soaps from interviews. still got that collection somewhere? | tossed 'em out last night. couldn't stand looking at little reminders of almosts. |
what should i do about my parents' dinner invite next week? | god watching them learn to skip stones just like i did |
you gonna visit your old hometown soon? | they're humming the same song i used to on that swing set |
wait a lawyer sent you WHAT | right like this whole email's just a wall of legal jargon and a deadline and i'm sitting here watching the sun set over some random field. it's hilarious actually if you ignore the part where my hands are shaking |
so you have zero idea what it's about? | zero clue. checked every dumb thing i've done online in the last year and nothing matches. feels like waiting for a test you didn't study for but the stakes are like... actual real life now |
what're you gonna do about it? | hell if i know. lawyer's name. never met the guy. |
should you call them back tonight or wait till morning? | midnight on a trail. yeah that's smart. |
remember that time we tried to count the stars from the playground swings? | yeah that was a whole thing. like we were so sure we'd get to a thousand before dawn but then around three hundred i just started making up names for the ones we couldn't see. sir twinkle-a-lot the third. constellation of the lost sock. you were laughing so hard you almost fell off and i was like this is what infinity ... |
didn't you once say the streetlights looked like tiny planets waiting to hatch? | god did i say that out loud. i think i was trying to explain how the light kind of wobbles when you stare too long. like it's breathing. and then i started wondering if maybe we're the ones who are fake and the lights are the real ones just pretending to be fixed so we don't freak out. you just sat there not even answe... |
wait, you're still wearing that fancy shirt from the ceremony — did you spill champagne on it already or is that just the lighting? | oh the shirt's fine, it's me that's a mess. you know baxter would have been curled up under the table right now if he was here, old boy hated crowds but he'd stick by my chair anyway. saw someone's golden retriever running around the lawn earlier and i almost went over to pet it before i remembered. and then i'm laughi... |
is that your third or fourth glass of wine? not judging, just tracking for science purposes | lost count around the time the band played that old song he'd howl along to — every single time, flat note and all, like he was singing backup vocals. and now i'm here making small talk about flower arrangements when i spent this morning digging a hole in the back garden. people keep saying he had a good long life and ... |
wait, you actually saw her? like, in the flesh? | okay so i'm just standing there trying to figure out which pump has the diesel because the car's not mine and i'm already running late for my nephew's party and then i hear this voice say 'excuse me' and i turn around and it's her. straight up her. same laugh but older. and i just froze like a complete idiot with the n... |
you still thinking about that time you knocked over the cake stand? | dude that cake was the easy part |
remember how you used to practice in the shower for weeks? | yeah and now my mouth's full of cotton balls instead |
Excuse me, mind if I ask what had you looking so rattled walking in here? | oh you know, just took a wrong turn near the old warehouse district and my phone gave up the ghost at twelve percent. gps gone, signs in a language i don't read, and some guy on a bike kept circling. |
You okay? You were checking your phone like it was a bomb. | battery was at five percent and i was three blocks from anywhere i recognized. every alley looked the same, and there was this dog that just kept watching me from a stoop. really thought i'd be telling this story from a missing poster. |
so what's the plan for this last week then? | gonna soak up every stupid second i can get |
you gonna be okay when they actually leave? | nope. not even a little bit. |
bet you're out there practicing your victory speech in the rearview mirror huh | rearview's just showing me the same old parking lot |
so when do we start calling you the ceo of that place | ceo of crying in my car apparently |
you've been refilling your glass with lemonade for the last hour — everything okay? | lemonade's the only thing keeping me upright tbh |
haven't seen you hit the dance floor once — what's up? | dancing requires energy i donated to my mom months ago |
so what happened with the airport thing, you good? | showed up at arrivals just holding a coffee and a stupid grin. hadn't seen her in four years and she flew halfway across the country. right there in the middle of baggage claim, you know? kind of wrecked me honestly. |
wait your friend just turned up at the gate unannounced? | yeah just standing there with a sign that said my old nickname. in sharpie. like we were in a bad rom-com. and i was annoyed for like a second before i couldn't even breathe right. ridiculous but man it got me. |
bet he tried to eat the remote again | scooted the blanket off the bed with his butt |
he doing the weird paw thing on the carpet? | full tuck and roll off the nightstand actually |
oh honey, what'd the landlord say when you finally got through? | said he'd 'get to it eventually' |
so did they at least apologize when the ceiling actually went? | apologized? nah, blamed the rain |
wait did you actually cry on the phone or are you just saying that | dripped mascara all down my face, the parking lot guy probably thinks i'm having a breakdown. totally worth it though. |
so did you at least manage full sentences or was it just screaming | basically just kept saying 'you're joking' at full volume until my voice cracked. pretty sure i woke up the whole neighborhood. |
what did you just say happened with your job? | okay so like i got on the bus at like 2:30 after my shift right and i'm just scrolling through emails half asleep and there's this one from hr with like 'congratulations on your new position' in the subject line and i almost dropped my phone because i didn't even apply for anything. thought it was a scam at first but n... |
wait you got promoted? didn't you say you were just a cashier? | yeah that's the thing i'm literally just the guy who stocks shelves and runs the register at night and somehow corporate decided i'm now the overnight shift supervisor. no warning no discussion. just an email with a start date and a pay bump that's honestly kind of embarrassing to mention because it's not that much but... |
wait, who was that back there? | girl from high school i was obsessed with |
did you just see someone you know? | that was my crush from tenth grade. here. of all places. |
hey what's got you smiling like that at this hour? | finally broke two-fifty on my deadlift tonight. been chasing that number since before my kid started high school and tonight it just happened. |
you look like you're about to burst — what's the news? | old man did three full pull-ups without a band for the first time in like twenty years. arms are still shaking but man that feeling never gets old. |
remember when you said your chair was the comfiest in the office? | oh god that's coming back to haunt me now |
wasn't it you who bragged about never dozing off in meetings? | yeah karma's a real piece of work apparently |
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