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you think they noticed or nah? | oh they definitely saw it |
you coming up or just gonna sit there a minute longer? | think I'm gonna sit here till they kick me off the platform honestly. third night straight and my brain feels like it's wrapped in wet wool. kept nodding off on the train and missed my stop twice. twice. at three in the morning just sat there watching the doors open and close at stations I didn't recognize. the super a... |
you eat anything at all today or just coffee again? | found half a granola bar in my coat pocket from last Tuesday. ate it standing up in the elevator. the cleaning lady on the third floor saw me and just shook her head real slow like she was watching a documentary about somebody making bad decisions. my hands are shaking so bad I can barely get the key in the lock and th... |
remember that time you tried to pay for coffee with a library card | oh god that was the barista's first day too |
did you ever actually find out what that weird humming sound was | still think it was the fridge just being dramatic |
you look kinda wrecked — what happened? | my mom forgot my birthday again, that's what |
everything okay? you seem off | she forgot. forty years and she forgot |
you look like you're waiting for someone — what's the story? | oh they're probably still picking out socks or something |
so you're just camped out here — what's going on? | counting tiles and questioning all my life choices |
you hear anything weird out there tonight? | branches scraping the gutter again, kept thinking someone was out in the yard. old house makes every creak sound like a footstep. |
everything okay over there? you sound a bit off. | just the usual night noises playing tricks on me. that scraping sound by the back door had me sitting up in bed for a good twenty minutes. |
oh no, what'd you do? | literally watched my phone betray me in slow motion. |
oh no what do you mean | the tree out front is gone too. just a stump now. weird how a color and a tree can make you feel like a ghost. |
So what's the story behind the voice mail you left earlier? | landlord ignored a leak for three weeks. ceiling's in my kitchen now. |
That call you took before — sounded like a mess. What happened? | three weeks of 'we'll send someone monday.' ceiling caved. real shocker. |
did you get a look at them at all or just the receipt | just the receipt. barista handed it to me with a little smile. and i stood there in the middle of that crowded shop holding this piece of paper like it was made of gold. you remember how i used to be. always expecting the worst from people. well maybe that's changing. maybe it's just age. or maybe it's that one strange... |
wait what happened at your friend's wedding that had everyone cracking up? | tripped walking up to give a toast. the whole room just went silent for a second and i swear i saw my life flash before my eyes. my buddy's grandma gave me this look of pure pity. |
so i heard you had a moment at that wedding — what went down? | caught my heel on the edge of the stage and went down in front of like 150 people. the band actually paused for a beat. someone yelled 'save the dance for later' and i wanted the floor to swallow me whole. |
So what's the first thing you two are gonna do to celebrate? | honestly i have no idea we're just standing here in the dog park with millie going crazy on the leash and i'm like shaking so bad she keeps dropping the ring. we were gonna do brunch maybe? but also i kind of want to just drive somewhere random with no plan and see what happens. my brain is just full of like confetti o... |
What are you going to tell everyone at work when you go back in? | oh god i haven't even thought that far ahead honestly. right now all i can picture is walking in and my boss being like why are you glowing and me just holding up my hand and watching her lose it. my team is gonna be insufferable they'll want the whole story down to the moment and i don't even have it straight in my ow... |
remember that time you tripped over your own feet trying to impress me with your dog's trick? | yeah, that was... that was something. but you know, seeing her sleep last night with her face all smushed into the pillow, I just thought, this is it, you know? this is the one I'd trip over a thousand times for. |
did you ever think back to when you first told me about that stupid bet you made with your roommate? | god, that bet. but honestly, watching her breathe, all quiet, it hit me how lucky I got. like, that stupid moment led here, and I just wanted to freeze the whole thing. |
what do you even do with that info now, just pretend you never saw it? | guy's got forty thousand followers for his bonsai trees |
so are you gonna bring it up to him or just let it slide? | watched his pruning tutorial at 2am like a creep |
wait you actually remembered i mentioned that? | yeah no that moment at the dog park just hit me out of nowhere. there was this golden retriever doing that stupid little butt wiggle before pouncing and i literally thought of you saying how your childhood dog used to do the exact same thing before stealing socks. like who forgets a detail like that? it's been months a... |
oh so you're telling me you pay that close attention? | okay so maybe i do and maybe it's ridiculous but like remember when we were at the park and you made that joke about the pug looking like a grumpy little potato? i still think about that every time i see a pug now. your laugh when you said it was just—ugh i don't know. it's these dumb tiny things that stick around in m... |
wait, what happened back there? you got real quiet all of a sudden. | some woman in front of me was wearing my grandma's exact perfume. like the one she always wore to church on sundays. totally threw me for a second. |
you just froze up — everything okay? | smelled my grandma's perfume on this lady in line. the old rose and powder one she used for decades. had to just stand there and breathe for a minute. |
You were mumbling something about pigeons and chess when you got out of the shower, what's that about? | okay so you know how pigeons just walk around like they own the place, heads bobbing like tiny businessmen with no actual schedule? i was half asleep in there and it hit me — they're basically playing a game of chess against us all day but nobody told us the rules. like one of them stared at me through the subway grate... |
remember how you used to say your job was just a placeholder till something better came along? | yeah well the universe really took that personally apparently. got a call from my boss's boss at like ten pm asking if i'd consider a director role. i thought it was a prank at first. |
didn't you tell me last week you were sure your boss hated your guts? | apparently that was just his way of showing affection. they basically said the promotion was 'long overdue' which is hilarious considering i didn't even know there was an opening. stood there in my parents' kitchen just staring at the microwave like it had the answers. |
so what's the first thing you're gonna do with that check? | honestly still staring at the number like it's a typo |
you gonna treat yourself to something nice? | maybe just buy that coffee without checking my balance first |
what do you mean the cat brought a snake in? | oh you should have seen it. there's mittens at three in the morning with this little garden snake just wriggling on the floor like it's a toy or something. nearly gave me a heart attack. |
did you actually see the snake or just hear something? | saw it clear as day under the hotel lamp. mittens drops this thing and it starts slithering toward my slippers. honestly thought i was dreaming for a second there. |
so which part of the song were you singing exactly? | got so into it I just belted out my own version. the bride's mom gave me this look like I'd just invented a new language. |
did anyone else join in on your lyrics or was it a solo act? | nah just me and my delusions up there. whole room went quiet for a second then the DJ just faded the track out. |
what do you think you'll do now that you've actually hit it? | uh... honestly i might just sit on this bench for a while and stare at the ceiling tiles. you know how you chase something for like six months and then when it actually happens your brain just kind of goes blank? i mean i knew the number was close but i kept telling myself maybe next week maybe next week and then this ... |
so what's the next goal then or are you just gonna enjoy this one for a bit? | god i don't even know yet. part of me wants to just bask in it for like a solid week because honestly i thought i'd hit a wall two months ago and then i switched up my split and started sleeping better and suddenly things just... clicked. but there's this other part of my brain that's already whispering 'okay but what ... |
remember when you two first met and she borrowed your jacket? | watching her breathe right now, that same little nose scrunch she does. seventy years old and i still can't believe she picked me. |
did you ever think back then she'd be the one snoring next to you all these years later? | her hand's curled up against the pillow like a kid's. just lying here thinking about how she held mine through every damn thing. |
wait your cat brought a live snake inside, like alive alive | oh it was so alive. that thing was moving with purpose, like it had a meeting to get to. i was barefoot trying to herd it toward the balcony door with a broom while whispering 'please don't be venomous' over and over under my breath. and the cat kept circling back like she wanted to give it a second presentation. hones... |
so what's the phone call thing actually been like lately? | you know, they're like three minutes now if i'm lucky. used to be i could hear her fussing at the nurses in the background, now it's just breathing and a 'love you, gotta go.' |
did it change today or is it just the same pattern? | today she couldn't even finish asking about the cat. just sort of trailed off and said she was tired. that's the thing that gets me, you know, the unfinished sentences. |
wait, what happened in there? | the snoring thing. right in the middle of a quiet moment. everyone just stopped and looked, and i had to pretend i was just coughing. |
hold on, you snored? | loud enough that the night nurse turned around. woke myself up with a little grunt too. think i've officially become that person in the waiting room. |
still remember that weird noise phase you had in that old apartment? | oh man those thumps on the porch at 2am |
did you ever figure out what was scratching at your window that one night? | nope just a raccoon with excellent dramatic timing |
so what do you even do at this point, just leave? | honestly thinking about walking over there with the receipt and just pointing. maybe that'll get through. or maybe i just start eating the wrong food with aggressive eye contact. |
you gonna say something to the manager or what? | well the guy laughed again when he set it down so i'm weighing my options. could just eat the steak and pretend it's what i wanted. or i could let the dry humor do its work. |
what would you even do if you walked away from it all right now | honestly just sleep for like three days straight probably |
so what's your move for tomorrow then | wake up and stare at the same screen again yeah |
wait, what just happened? you look like you saw a ghost. | nah, just checked my email and apparently i won two hundred bucks on a scratch-off i bought like three months ago. completely forgot that thing existed. |
did something good happen? you're just staring at your phone. | yeah so apparently i'm two hundred dollars richer and had zero clue. feels like the universe slipped me a note in class or something. |
you looked like you were about to throw your phone across the field just now, what happened? | some jerk nearly pancaked me into a school bus this morning |
why'd you wake up already grumpy, that dog lick you wrong or something? | almost kissed a bus bumper 'cause some guy cut me off |
what happened? you look like you got hit by a train | she just packed up and left. said 'i can't do this anymore' and walked out. thirty years and that's the only explanation i got. |
rough night? you're just standing there staring at the tracks | yeah. she left this morning. no fight, no warning, just a note on the counter. standing here trying to figure out where it all went wrong. |
wait you still check that old email account? | lawyer's name in the subject line and now i'm just staring at the ceiling |
what's got you so quiet tonight? | some legal letter i'm too scared to open |
what's got you staring off into space like that? | that stupid song just came on the jukebox. the one where everyone would pair up and just kind of sway back and forth in the gymnasium. |
you got that look on your face again, what were you thinking about? | heard that track from eighth grade and for a second i could smell the stale punch and see the streamers all tangled up. |
did you try to play it off or just own it? | you know that moment when your brain just completely checks out and your mouth does something else entirely. I typed back 'that was meant for my other friend about someone else' which is so obviously garbage that even the chipmunk on the rock next to me looked skeptical. then I just stood there watching a cloud drift p... |
hold up, you're kidding me right? | nope. boss just handed it to me. still don't believe it |
wait you're saying he just showed up at baggage claim out of nowhere? | yeah just standing there with this beat-up duffel bag and that dopey grin. i almost dropped my phone into the ticket kiosk. |
so did you even know he was coming or was it a total surprise? | no warning at all. texted me 'landing at 8' like it was nothing and then there he was. hugged me so hard my hat fell off. |
oh no what did you do? | woke up to everyone pretending to study their notes real hard. forty years in the industry and this is how i make an impression. at least the coffee's cheap here. |
you waiting for someone or just enjoying the view up here? | waiting for a friend i haven't seen in years actually. been staring at this café sign for like twenty minutes now. the font is doing something weird to my brain. like it's trying to be fancy but the kerning is all off and now i'm wondering if the designer did it on purpose or just gave up halfway through. saw a pigeon ... |
long night or just one of those where you can't sit still? | bit of both. been up here watching the streetlights flicker and trying to guess which ones will die first. there's one on the corner that's been strobing for like an hour and i keep thinking okay now for sure and then it just keeps going. reminds me of that one friend who says they're leaving a party and then stands by... |
didn't you say you were grabbing coffee like three hours ago? | three hours? feels like one coffee ago and ten years ago at the same time. lost count of how many patients I've seen today. think there was a kid with a fever and a guy who kept calling me sweetheart like it was gonna speed things up. grocery store run is basically a survival errand at this point. forgot what day it is... |
remember that time you left your keys in the fridge and blamed it on the night shift? | god yeah the fridge keys. that was a low point. now I'm at the point where I don't even bother looking for them I just use the spare under the mat. hospital brain is real. walked into a supply closet twice today thinking it was the break room. someone asked me a question and I just stared at them until they walked away... |
so you're telling me you rolled out of bed and straight into that meeting? | coffee hasn't even hit my bloodstream yet. woke up on the wrong side of the planet honestly. dog's dragging me through the park like a half-deflated balloon and my brain's still back on the pillow trying to remember what day it is. this meeting's gonna be a trainwreck and i'm the conductor with no sleep and three cups ... |
wait you had a meeting this morning? i thought you said monday was your slow day | slow day my ass. that's what i told myself friday when i was drowning. now it's monday and the panic's real and i'm standing here with a bagel in one hand and a leash in the other trying to remember if i even brushed my teeth. this dog's the only one having a good morning. i'm just here running on fumes and bad decisio... |
your parents are hitting their 20th anniversary this week, right? how are you not a puddle? | dad got her the same type of flowers from their first date. lost it a little. |
did you see them doing anything cute this morning? | they were slow-dancing to the dryer cycle. i'm not okay. |
you look like you haven't slept in days, everything okay? | third night in a row staring at my laptop in this stupid airport terminal cause my flight keeps getting delayed and i've got a lab report due at 8am that i'm still writing in my head. the guy at the pret a manger gave me a free coffee just from the look on my face, which is either really kind or really sad. my cousin k... |
don't you have a place to crash? you look wrecked | my place is a forty minute train from here and i'm pretty sure the last one left two hours ago. my cousin offered to drive but they're three states over so that's not happening. been running on vending machine crackers and that weird energy drink that tastes like battery acid. every time i close my eyes i just see the ... |
you're awfully quiet tonight — everything okay with the kid? | twenty minutes late from school, not answering her phone. called three times already. trying not to assume the worst but my brain's already there. |
so what's got you staring out that train window like you're in a movie? | kid's late. twenty minutes now. phone just goes straight to voicemail. you know that feeling where your stomach drops and won't come back up? |
so mom said you've been holed up in your room all day, what's actually going on in your head? | just staring at the ceiling fan thinking about how many times i'll have to watch it spin before they call. every time my phone buzzes i jump like an idiot. |
you want me to grab us some food or just sit here and pretend the phone doesn't exist? | yeah just stay a minute. keeps the thoughts from getting too loud. every creak in this house sounds like the doorbell and it's wrecking me. |
so how bad was the turbulence on that first solo flight? | you know that feeling when your stomach just drops out and stays there? yeah that but for like twenty minutes straight. kept telling myself planes are designed for this but my hands did not get the memo. |
did the plane actually feel like it was struggling or was it just you? | grocery cart's probably got better aerodynamics than that little Cessna. whole thing shook like a washing machine with a brick in it. just gripping the yoke and praying to the aviation gods. |
you look wiped, babe. did any of those edits actually get sent off today? | got three out of seven done and then the client dropped another revision. the bus is so loud and i still have to prep for tomorrow's call. |
the inbox is still that bad, huh? how many more are left to chip through? | twenty-seven unreads and counting. every time i clear one two more pop up. honestly just staring out the window right now. |
that time you turned up a whole day early to dinner was pretty bad though right? | honestly the worst part was my phone was dead so couldn't even text her to ask. just showed up. knocked. she opens the door in her pajamas. and I'm holding flowers. who brings flowers to a casual dinner? me apparently. stood there for like five seconds before my brain caught up. and then had to sit through her mom maki... |
remember that time you tried to teach me the specials board shorthand on my first week? | god yeah, you wrote down 'BLT no T' and i thought you were messing with me. found letters in there from jen, the one i used to swap mix tapes with back in college. crazy how you can just lose track of someone who knew every song you loved. |
wasn't there a diner we used to hit after closing shifts, like the one we're at now? | exactly, that place with the busted jukebox. found a whole stack of letters from this old friend in a shoebox this morning. reading through them felt like watching a movie where you already know the ending's gonna make you a little quiet. |
remember that time you swore the library printer was haunted? | yeah well this turbulence is making that printer look like a saint |
didn't you once say flying felt like a really safe elevator? | this elevator's about to hit the basement at Mach 2 |
wait so you just walked in and everyone was like who are you | yeah the host's mom answered in her bathrobe |
did you at least bring something or show up empty handed | brought a bottle of wine for night before vibes |
so what are you gonna do now, just let her fall asleep or what? | oh I'm absolutely not moving from this spot for the next hour at least. her little voice just went 'i love you daddy' and now I'm basically frozen in place trying not to cry in this lyft. |
how are you planning to remember that moment forever? | texted my mom the second it happened with like forty exclamation points. also made the driver turn the music down so I could replay it in my head on the ride home. that's the one, you know. |
so what actually happened in that last play? i only caught the headline. | forty seconds left, down by two, and somehow that kid nobody trusted with the ball just sinks a three from the logo. whole bench lost it. i think i pulled something in my throat yelling. |
you still buzzing from that win or has it settled in yet? | buzzing barely covers it. woke up this morning and checked the highlights again like it might have been a dream. nope, still real, still perfect, still can't feel my voice. |
so you're saying the same guy's been at the bus stop three nights in a row now? | yeah and like it's probably nothing right but he's always got his hood up even when it's warm and today he got off the same stop as me |
did you try taking a different route or just hoping he's not actually a weirdo? | took the long way through the alley behind the drugstore and kept checking my shoulder the whole time like an idiot honestly felt crazy |
hold on, what did you just say | like a whole garter snake just writhing on the rug |
wait, what happened with that project thing? | oh she just stood up and said it like it was hers. whole room nodded. |
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