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so you just belted it out like you meant it the whole time?
oh absolutely. committed to the bit like my life depended on it.
did nobody even flinch when you hit that wrong line?
nope. not a single wince. that's how you know it was bad.
did you see anyone filming that wedding entrance thing?
unfortunately my own brain saved a 4k replay
so like how long were you actually on the floor for?
felt like a whole silent movie montage honestly
Do you think you'll call again tonight or wait till morning?
morning probably. they said mornings are better for her, more lucid, but morning feels like a thousand years away when you're just standing here watching people argue over avocados. i don't even know what i'd say tonight anyway. 'hey mom remember when you taught me to make meatloaf' like that's not gonna wreck me. the ...
remember how you said you'd finally catch up on sleep this weekend?
yeah that aged well. both kids got the same fever and now the laundry pile is basically a small continent.
didn't you mention you were almost through that show we talked about?
stopped at episode three. two sick kids plus a mountain of laundry means my free time is a myth now.
remember how you used to bake those little lemon cookies she taught you?
oh that smell just stopped me cold
didn't she always wear that lavender powder stuff?
got me right in the chest for a second
what are you gonna tell them when you walk in?
probably just laugh it off and pretend i knew the whole time
should you just turn around and come back tomorrow?
nah that's way more awkward. just own it now.
you look a little wired, everything okay?
oh yeah just got lost in that neighborhood by the old warehouse and my phone was at 3%
rough day? you seem kinda jumpy
lost in that sketchy block near the bridge with like no battery left
who's it even addressed to on the label?
some name i've never heard of — lena or something. but inside it's literally the vintage poster i've been stalking on ebay for months. feels like the universe finally got one thing right.
did you open it already or is it just sitting there?
ripped into it the second i saw the return address. wrong name, right everything. almost woke you up just to prove it wasn't a dream.
You're not gonna just brush this off as paranoia right? because you've got that look.
no no I'm genuinely spooked which is annoying because I like that bus route it has the good seat at the back. but yesterday I took a detour through the corner store just to see and he waited outside for like five minutes then left. I felt so dumb holding a bag of chips I didn't even want. told the cashier some joke abo...
oh you're suspicious of the guy with the matching luggage set too?
that bag's way too clean for a connecting flight
you think the gate agent is in on it?
she never blinks. definitely a replicant
you finally stopped making that poor ring wait, huh?
three in the morning and she still said yes
bet you picked a real romantic spot, like a subway platform?
the train noise just added to the moment
you still have that beat-up cardboard box of photos? thought you tossed it years ago
nah they just migrated to a shoebox in the closet. looking at the one from that hostel in prague where we both got food poisoning. the faces we made were priceless.
bet you look exactly the same in those old pictures, just with less gray
funny thing is the hair's about the same just moved locations. that shot of us by the eiffel tower with the pigeons landing on your head still gets me though.
so were you like belting it out at full volume when you realized?
oh yeah full diva mode. then hit this line about love and realized i was singing the wrong year entirely. just stood there mic in hand hoping the floor would swallow me up.
did anyone else notice or were you safe?
nope the whole front row definitely clocked it. one guy actually stopped mid-sip of his drink and just stared. just wanted to crawl into the speaker and disappear.
you actually remembered that little thing?
yeah no I mean it's not like I was trying to keep a list or anything it's just like that day you were complaining about the coffee machine and you had that little crinkle between your eyebrows and you said it tasted like burnt regret and I don't know why that stuck but it did and then months later I'm at a gas station ...
wait you kept that voice memo from like april?
okay so first of all don't judge me but yes I still have it because you were explaining your whole conspiracy theory about the neighbor's cat and you sounded so serious and then you sneezed in the middle and just kept going like nothing happened and that's like peak you honestly that's the energy I need sometimes when ...
wait what happened last night i saw you get dropped off looking like a ghost
belted out the wrong chorus for like a full thirty seconds
you look like you're trying to teleport through the window what's up
everyone clapped for the wrong lyrics man
so what are you gonna do now, go get it on video for the next one?
oh absolutely. phone's out and ready on the counter now like it's a nature documentary. she looked right at me and goes 'daddy, more crackers' and i almost dropped my coffee.
you think you'll remember it exactly or does it already feel blurry?
god i hope not. she just stood there in her little bear pajamas and said 'mama, look, ball' and my brain just went totally blank for a second. you know that feeling where you're laughing but also kind of choking up?
so that kid over there doing the napkin thing — that remind you of anyone?
god yeah that's me at like nine folding those into little hats
you keep glancing at that booth in the corner — what's the deal?
ha — my son's stacking sugar packets just like i used to
what'd you dig up, a treasure map or something?
old letters from someone i used to be close with
find any embarrassing photos in that box?
just letters. s-still hits weird though
so what's the big realization you've been sitting on all night?
like what if stars are just really committed fireflies y'know
you've been staring at that lamp for like ten minutes — what's the verdict?
that lamp's been through some stuff man
so what are you gonna do with all that old stuff?
keep it obviously. it's got all the dye stains from that one concert
you gonna toss that ratty old thing or what?
nah. smells like freshman year. can't.
wait so no one said anything when they did that?
nope. just sat there smiling like they wrote the whole thing.
what'd you even do when they said it was theirs?
just stared at my plate honestly. wanted to flip the table.
wait, what's got you looking so smug?
so mark from accounting — the guy who always brags about his meal prep — turns out he's been ordering takeout every single day and tossing the containers in the neighbor's bin. deb from hr caught him red-handed.
you look like you're about to burst — spill it
okay so remember the intern who talks too loud on calls? she accidentally sent her whole zoom rant about the boss to the boss. he replied with just a thumbs-up emoji and now she's been 'working from home' for three days.
you look like you've been through it today — rough morning?
ran on coffee and spite all weekend to prep for this morning's presentation and then the projector broke so i just stood there sweating through my shirt
what's got you looking like you survived a war?
three hours of sleep and a dying laptop fan got me through that meeting and honestly the panic was the only thing keeping me upright
do you even know what to say to him now that you know?
been thinking about it all evening and honestly? probably just ask him if he can teach me that one pasta trick. feels less weird than making it a whole thing.
you look shaken — what's going on?
just... a lawyer's letter in my inbox, not even opened yet.
Wait, they just handed you a promotion you never even applied for?
right?? i'm still trying to figure out if i'm being punk'd
So did you actually say yes or are you still in shock?
think i just stood there blinking for a solid ten seconds
you look like you're about to punch the next person who asks for another juice box, what's eating you?
it's the leftover thing still. i can't stop thinking about it. like it's not even about the pasta at this point, it's the fact that he knew. i literally said 'these are for friday' and he just looked at me with those dead eyes and said 'okay' and then ate them anyway. and i'm sitting here with a paper plate of stale go...
so what's the plan for the rest of the day?
honestly just gonna stay right here for a while. watching him nap with the afternoon light hitting his face and my chest just feels full you know.
any idea what you wanna do later?
not a clue honestly. kind of want to just sit here and watch her sleep forever. the way her hand curls under the pillow gets me every time.
so what are you gonna do about it? just let it slide?
not a chance honestly. already drafted an email while i was walking here, just gotta cool off before i hit send so it doesn't sound completely unhinged
you gonna talk to her tomorrow or just stew on it?
gonna have to say something cause otherwise i'll just replay that meeting in my head all week. maybe pull her aside before standup, keep it quick
what's that lump under your shirt?
oh it's just jasper. he wedged himself behind the fridge again.
you're grinning at your phone, what happened?
he fell off the couch chasing his own tail. didn't even catch it.
remember when you said you'd never win anything after that claw machine ate your last dollar?
right? and now i'm sitting here with a check trying not to laugh in the middle of a toast. thought the email was spam at first.
didn't you mention buying a ticket on a whim at that gas station by the highway a while back?
yeah the one with the creepy clown sign. forgot i even had it till i found it in my coat pocket this morning. still feels like a prank.
so what are you gonna do about that email, just ignore it?
oh yeah, ignore the scary lawyer email at a six-year-old's bounce house party, that's a solid plan. maybe i'll just reply 'please direct all correspondence to my emotional support inflatable unicorn.'
do you think you should call them tonight or wait till morning?
call them tonight and find out i'm being sued over a noise complaint? no thanks. waiting till morning at least gives me time to pre-grieve my retirement fund over cake and bad coffee.
did you get any sleep at all last night?
not really. just kept expecting to hear her nails on the floor. that little click-click sound she'd make coming down the hall.
what'd you do with her bowl and everything?
left it right where it was. can't bring myself to move it yet. feels like erasing her.
oh so you found a time capsule from your pre-existential crisis era?
you know what's wild. there's this letter where she drew little stars next to every time we said we'd be best friends forever. twelve year old me was really committing to the doodle aesthetic.
was there a dramatic friendship breakup letter in there or what?
nah nothing dramatic just like the last one just says hey sorry I've been busy and then nothing for a whole year. it's almost worse you know like we just forgot to keep writing.
okay I have to ask - did anyone actually say anything or was it just the looks?
oh the looks were bad enough. Rachel from accounting had this smirk that said 'I'm putting this in your annual review somehow.' but the worst part was Dave from IT - he's always so quiet you know - and he just goes 'good nap?' loud enough for the whole open floor to hear. I stammered out something about a power nap tre...
remember that time you swore you'd never be the one doing 3am laundry?
yeah well mom's incontinence pads don't exactly keep business hours. three months of this and i've memorized every stain pattern on every sheet in the house.
didn't you used to say the laundromat was your least favorite place on earth?
it's my second home now honestly. i know which machine gives you the extra rinse cycle for the vomit loads. real glamorous life i'm living.
that old song from the middle school dances got you thinking?
oh man the slow dance one with the synth
what was it about hearing that track that got to you?
gym floor sticky and nobody knowing where to put their hands
did you end up having fun at karaoke or was it a disaster?
oh man i was so off key it was tragic
how'd that karaoke song go you were talking about?
butchered every single word with full confidence
wait what happened on the call?
called my boss 'mom' in front of like fifteen people. full dead silence for three seconds before he goes 'you can call me that if you want'.
hold on you did what now?
yep. mid-sentence just went 'actually mom i mean—' and everyone froze. still replaying it in my head at three in the morning.
You look like you've been going at it pretty hard — everything okay?
third all-nighter this week and my brain's basically running on spite and bad coffee at this point. the spreadsheet's still winning though.
Rough week? you've got that thousand-yard stare thing going on.
just the usual dance with a deadline that keeps moving. told myself at sixty-five I'd be sipping tea not mainlining caffeine before nine a.m.
what happened with that song you picked?
belted out the wrong chorus for a solid twenty seconds before anyone said anything
did the crowd even notice?
oh the silence after was the loudest part, trust me
You look like you're trying to read the fine print on a dying glow stick — you okay?
words are just floating off the page like little traitors. sat here staring at 'consideration' for ten minutes and all i got was a headache.
Bet you're one highlight away from narrating your own life in legalese now, huh?
honestly caught myself thinking 'pursuant to this coffee' earlier. the bar exam's rewiring my brain in ways that are definitely not covered by warranty.
wait didn't you mention that guy from IT fixed your laptop once
that dude has a gaming channel with like a million subs
remember when you said he knew way too much about that indie band
yeah turns out he's literally in it
so you finally heard back from them then? what happened with the interview thing?
got the email at like six this morning. been staring at the ceiling ever since. they said i was 'a strong candidate' which apparently means second place with a participation trophy.
did you end up checking your phone yet or are you still ignoring it?
yeah checked it. thought maybe they'd at least call but nope just a generic rejection with my name spelled wrong. was literally planning my first week there in my head last night so that's fun.
you think he's finally learned to drive and just took a detour for tacos?
oh I wish that was it. twenty minutes is nothing with tacos. but his phone rings straight to voicemail and that's not like him.
bet he's showing off some new skateboard trick and lost track of time
god I hope you're right. I'd take a broken arm over this silence. the house just feels too quiet and my hands won't stop shaking.
what's the first thing you're going to do now, ride the momentum or play it cool?
okay so part of me wants to just scream about it everywhere but there's this other part that's terrified because now people are actually going to read it and judge us you know? like our little buggy MVP that still crashes sometimes and that one feature we built in a weekend. but also I kind of want to frame the screens...
you're awfully quiet over there, what's going on in that head?
okay so hear me out. that guy in the yellow hoodie has definitely been pacing for the last hour and I think he's actually a spy waiting for a dead drop at gate B7
find anything interesting to stare at?
the vending machine by the window keeps flickering between A3 and A7 and I'm pretty sure it's sending coded messages to the janitor. been watching for twenty minutes now
so what are you gonna do about the ticket, just pay it?
pay it? over my dead body. got pictures of the sign being completely blocked by that stupid tree, gonna fight this one.
you going to contest it or just let it slide?
contest it obviously. like the meter was broken and the app kept crashing, how is that my fault exactly.
so what happened with that person you were seeing, you never really said
honestly I still don't fully get it like we were just having coffee last Tuesday and everything seemed fine and then bam a text at 2am saying it's not working and that's it no explanation no nothing I keep replaying the whole thing in my head trying to find some moment where I missed a sign or said something wrong but ...
hold on, your cat did what?
presented a garter snake like it was a gift. on the bed.
you see any hawks up here yet or just the usual pigeons
nah just my brain circling the same two worst outcomes
think you'll want dinner after this or just crash
food sounds nice but my stomach's not really on board yet
Mom, what would you do if you were stuck in traffic for like five hours and you just started asking yourself ridiculous questions about what aliens think of us?
honestly i'd probably start naming the clouds
What's your next move if this trip just keeps going and you're out of snacks and good playlists?
start ranking roadkill by how funny it looks probably
wait they actually laughed? like at the table?
yeah no the guy just goes 'oops wrong again' and shrugs. like it's some kind of game. i'm standing there with cold fries from the first attempt and he's treating it like a blooper reel. wanted to say something but my brain just shorted out. you know when you're too mad to form words so you just stand there with your mo...
so what did you even do after that?
walked out. left the food there. didn't even ask for a refund because honestly the energy it would take to argue felt like too much. sat on the balcony for like twenty minutes just staring at the sky trying to cool down. like i get mistakes happen but twice? and the laughing? that's not service that's a performance. i'...
you sure you're not running on fumes right now?
third night. eyes feel like sandpaper.
think you'll actually sleep tonight or is that a joke?
bed's right there. brain won't shut up though.
so what are you gonna do, just pretend it never happened?
delete the whole app honestly