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1_6113
|
So, this spring, I get to go to the International Space Station. Oh, my word, a trip to the heavens.
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sincere
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speaking style
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1_6426
|
You know, the holidays are just around the corner. Maybe he wants to see if he can lodge the other testicle up there.
|
sarcastic
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speaking style
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1_6645
|
Well, that wady took high-wes pictures of my junk wast night for Cwaigswist.
|
sincere
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speaking style
|
1_7395
|
Well, if that's all it takes, it's a good thing you don't have a dog.
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sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
1_7445
|
My limbic system wants to take your pants off.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
1_7487
|
Yeah, well, Bernadette's a little under the weather and my mom's kind of under my dentist.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
1_7490
|
It's okay, you know, we space cowboys don't do what we do for glory and fame. We leave that to your rock stars and your athletes and your Howie Mandels.
|
sincere
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speaking style
|
1_7494
|
that sounds a little funny to an American ear.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
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1_7504
|
"To Stuart, your comic book store is out of this world. Just like the guy in this picture was."
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
1_7641
|
She was just so sad all the time. Yeah, I was the only person who could cheer her up. Well, me and Ben and Jerry.
|
sincere
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speaking style
|
1_8837
|
Not as relieved as I'm about to be. It's a brave new world, little lady.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
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1_9594
|
I can't believe we wasted all that time on our Hulk costumes.
|
sincere
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speaking style
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1_9971
|
I was gonna say we pick up a cake or a pie. But an insult to her faith is always thoughtful.
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sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
1_10190
|
Well, now that I've given up string theory, I'm struggling to find my next area of focus. So, in your professional opinion, which of these areas do you think is the most promising?
|
sincere
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speaking style
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1_11006
|
Maybe it's a good thing we came here. It's like a lesson in what not to do.
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sarcastic
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speaking style
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1_11042
|
Because no one wants to see Neil deGrasse Tyson in a wet T-shirt, bent over the hood of a Porsche.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
1_11177
|
I'm listening to you snore. I'm wondering how I'll ever sleep without it.
|
sarcastic
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speaking style
|
1_11242
|
I love that you take pride in your looks, even when I have to pee in the morning, and you're in there spending an hour on your hair.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
1_11243
|
I love that you're too good to pee in the kitchen sink.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
1_11253
|
So as they say, all good things must come to an end.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
1_11306
|
I guess the sad truth is, not everyone will accomplish something great. Some of us may just have to find meaning in the little moments that make up life.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
1_11526
|
As you may know, I've been experimenting with elevated anxiety levels, and I thought, what better way to increase my discomfort than to subject myself to an evening of tasteless uncensored crotch talk?
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
1_11697
|
The answer's in this puzzle box. Let's see if you can open it.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
1_11885
|
Yeah, turns out half a dozen menorahs really sets a mood.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_370
|
You have to stop the Q-Tip when there is resistance
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_556
|
Joey if I go first, I want to be looking for my keys
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_484
|
Yes yes it is! In Prison!!
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_494
|
But younger than some buildings!
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_279
|
Sounds like she has got the whole package!
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_595
|
I'd miss you if I broke up with you. Just trying to be supportive.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_409
|
I'll catch you guys later.
|
sincere
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speaking style
|
2_598
|
Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. - And she said - "No no, its too cold, nobody will go out there." - I said "Maybe if we put some lights out there they will".
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_509
|
Crazy bitch!
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_372
|
Actually I yesterday I was smoking again. Today I am smoking still.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_449
|
Oh no, now its not gonna make any sense
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_206
|
A tshirt that says - I don't belong here.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_204
|
Oh Oh, I am convinced!
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_583
|
And the bunny got away!
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_160
|
Because his penis was too big. I am sorry, thatÕs the kind of thing I do.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_39
|
Oh hurry up, I want to sign that.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_66
|
Nice jon Joe, you are quite the craftsman!
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_310
|
Well thank God your livelihood doesn't depend on it.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_115
|
I am sorry, we donÕt have your sheep.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_155
|
Great! Now we can do laundry all night. All night laundry!
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_2
|
ThatÕs a good one too Pheebs, now all that I have to do is find a plane load of people whose resolution is to plummet to their deaths
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_120
|
You know some might find it amusing, I myself find it regular.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_268
|
A lonely grey couch. " O look " cried Ned. And then the kingdom was his. The End.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_457
|
Yes, we all know how cruel a parent can be, about the flatness of a child's pillow.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_112
|
I think this is probably why Damone smokes in his cell alone.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_187
|
That's so funny because you look more like Joey Tribbiani man slash woman.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_20
|
My duties? All right.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_172
|
The whole thing! Can we go?
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_87
|
Yeah it would!
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_536
|
What a baby.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_208
|
It's that whole sensitive thing.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_119
|
Yeah. What-what should I do?
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_77
|
Umm, excuse me, we switched apartments. You can't eat are food anymore, that-that gravy train had ended.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_125
|
I mean if you hadn't initiated it I-I-I know I would've.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_495
|
Okay, you guys, just relax. I doooo.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_173
|
We- we had our first fight this morning.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_193
|
Yeah, a slice of cheesecake and-and a date if you're given' 'em out.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_426
|
Are you kidding? I love that guy! Morning's here! Morning is here,
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_367
|
Well, don't 'cha wanna?
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_225
|
I don't know, something girlie.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_217
|
Ohhh!!!!
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_213
|
Wait, wait, Chandler, this is what you're havin' for Thanksgiving dinner?
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_29
|
It was like months ago.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_263
|
Wow! Imagine what our kids would look like!
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_535
|
So, I'm sorry I just don't think we should go away together yet.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_318
|
Was it not pain-free?
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_419
|
Uh-huh!
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_627
|
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_425
|
And did he?
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_248
|
I mean, you and I we're just, y'know, we're nothing, we're goofin' around.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_56
|
Uh-huh, well! But umm, still I'm-I'm mad at you.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_504
|
All right, okay, well, apparently not!
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_42
|
Look, please, please don't go anywhere, okay?
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_572
|
No! I'm so happy for them!
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_474
|
Lovely
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_427
|
Oh-oh, that's a risky little game!
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_33
|
This-this, no, oh no, no-no-no, this is not,that's-that's not what it is.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_151
|
Yeah, I mean, it would be rude to them for us to leave now.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_405
|
I'm supposed to teach a graduate seminar there in ten minutes.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_499
|
The end.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_393
|
Pheebs?
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_540
|
Okay?
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_305
|
Take a couple deep breaths.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_577
|
On the other hand in um, in about seven months you're gonna have something that you're gonna love more than any guy you've ever gone out with.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_247
|
Uh yes! Thank you.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_458
|
What are you up too?
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_7
|
I've never loved anybody as much as I love you.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_319
|
No.
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_166
|
But I'm the host!
|
sincere
|
speaking style
|
2_102
|
No Blanche she is upset because they keep changing the taste of coke.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_351
|
No Rose, she is depressed because Marvel had manners on only once a week
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_350
|
No Rose, I am nervous because Sonny Bono gets elected mayor of Palm Springs, he is gonna make all the postmens wear leather bell bottoms and a fur vest.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_182
|
The liberarche marquee at Caesar's palace
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_342
|
In what Blanche, dog years?
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_492
|
I'm sorry Sophia, but in Dorothy's defence, it sure sounds a lot like her.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
2_512
|
Because it wears a little sunbrella Rose.
|
sarcastic
|
speaking style
|
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