conversations
listlengths 1
62
|
|---|
[
{
"content": "Don't toy with me.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey, Fun Bobby!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Not at all! I love this guy. Hey, I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No, I'm alright man. Really.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey no, seriously, I don't need you to pick me... [Fun Bobby picks Joey up off the ground, bounces him. Joey laughs.] Alright! It still works.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I just had a glass.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oooooh.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "[realizing what everyone else did a minute ago] Ooooooh.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah but, you know, now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby without a... a drink in his hand.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "With a man?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him cause he made that list about you?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, I think it went pretty well. I.. I got a callback for Thursday.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "OK, uh.... listen, there's something I want to talk to you about. The network casting lady...",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "What? What's wrong?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Alright.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hi.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yes, yes I am. Are you a, uh, a friend of Rachel's?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "A date.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh, oh, you're... uh... you're, oh you're the date.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yes, yes I am. And you are a....",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, I am going to, uh... get a beverage. It was nice, nice... uh... meeting you.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I, uh, well... I... I met Russ.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey, I didn't know we were, uh, seeing other people.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, uh, for your information, there's a woman at the museum, who's curator of moths and other... uh... winged things... who's, uh, let it be known that she is drawn to me much like a... well, you know. But so far I've been keeping her at bay, but, uh, if this is the deal...",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "OK, well, um, have a nice evening.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "[upset] She's dating. She's dating.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "What do you mean?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "See what? I don't know what she sees in... innn that goober. And it takes him, what? Like... like... I don't know, uhh... uhhh, hello.... a... week, to get out a sentence.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "....................Yeah.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, the part's mine if I want it.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah, if I'm willing to sleep with the casting lady.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Days of Our Lives. That's actually on television.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, I guess I could sleep with her... I mean, how could I do that?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I've never slept with someone for a part.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Sorry.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. [pause] You know, after having slept with her.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I just... I just don't think that I want it that way though, y'know? I mean, let's say I do make it, alright? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of.. y'know, the Little General.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco, I had to promote it.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "[condescendingly] Dysprosium? Try mendelevium.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "[to Russ] For your information, it's a card sharp, not a card shark.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh you do, do you?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Of... of what?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No, no, let me finish.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No, you let me fini...",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hi.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Where ya goin'?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Ooooohhhh.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "What's going on, is... uh, Bobby drinking again?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hey.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "How'd the callback go?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "It was unbelievable! I walked in there and she was all over me.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, I couldn't do it. I told her I didn't want to get the part that way.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Good for you.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "But wait, wait, wait. Then, after I left her office, she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Soooooo... you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramore, neurosurgeon, recurring in at least four episodes!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Alright... I've got to go shower. [leaves]",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Ok. Here's his diaper bag, and his uh, Mr. Winky, and uh...oh, him. Hi!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh, great. Great. There was a projectile, uh, throwing up incident, but he started it.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Ok.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh, you and me?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Ok.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "As in, \"I now pronounce you wife and wife\" married?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Why wouldn't I want to come? I had fun at the first wedding.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No no no, I mean, hey, why shouldn't I be happy for you? What would it say about me if I couldn't revel in your joy? I'm revelling baby, believe me!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Mmm hmmm.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Uh-huh.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "This is so cool. You're actually gonna be on television.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin' about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives..",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yes! Carol and Susan's caterer had a mountain bike accident this weekend, and she's in a full body cast.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "They want me to do it, which is really cool, seeing as I've never catered before, and I really need the money, and this isn't a problem for you, is it?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Would it matter?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh, you are so great! [kisses him] Thank you!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Are you really not going?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I am really not going. I don't get it. They already live together, why do they need to get married?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "They love each other, and they wanna celebrate that love with the people that are close with them.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "If you wanna call that a reason.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "[singing to the tune of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood] Who's the bitterest man in the living room, the bitterest man in the living room? Hi, neighbor.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Ross, I thought you were over this.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Look, that has nothing to do with this, ok? She's my ex-wife. If she were marrying a guy, none of you'd expect me to be there.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be like the worst lesbian ever.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "[entering hurriedly] Did I miss it? Did I miss it?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "No, I'm on right after this guy shoots himself.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Whoa, she's pretty.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, and she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I'm sorry, what?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "What?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh, ok.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "There's my scene, there's my scene. [Joey on tv] \"Mrs. Wallace, I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I'm afraid the situation is much worse than we expected. Your sister is suffering from a..subcranial hematoma. Perhaps we can discuss this over coffee.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Nice!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "That's great!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Excellent!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "For a minute there I thought you were actually tryin' to smell something.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "That is so good! Do it again!",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "All right, all right. \"Damnit Braverman, it's right there on the chart!\"",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "That's great. All right, I gotta get to work, I got a big dinosaur bone to inspect.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "No no, that's me.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh, yeah.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh, hello.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh, thanks. I couldn't uh...",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Is everything ok?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Um, no, huh-uh. One of my clients died on the massage table today.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh my god.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "That's a little more relaxed than you want them to get.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, um, she was 82 years old. Her name was um, Mrs. Adelman.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh, honey.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Yeah, it's just so strange. I mean, she probably woke up today and thought, \"ok, I'll have some breakfast, and then I'll take a little walk, and then I'll have my massage.\" Little did she know God was thinking, \"Ok, but that's it.\" Oh, but the weirdest thing was, ok, I was cleansing her aura when she died, and when the spirit left her body, I don't think it went very far.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "What do you mean?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I think it went into me.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "God, this is so hard. I can't decide between lamb or duck.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Well, of course, lambs are scarier. Otherwise the movie would've been called Silence of the Ducks.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Ok, who ordered what?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh, I believe I had the half-drunk cappuccino with the lipstick on the rim.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yes, and this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Oh god.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I can't believe you're so uptight about your mom comin'.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "I know, but it's just it's the first time, and I just don't want her to think that because I didn't marry Barry, that my life is total crap, you know?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "[Mrs. Adelman's voice] Talk about crap. Try listening to Stella Niedman tell the story of her and Rod Steiger for the hundredth time.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Uh, Pheebs, how long do you think this lady'll be with us?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I don't know. I mean, she obviously has some kind of unfinished business. [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Sit up!",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Mom!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Pretty much.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "This is Joey, and Phoebe, and this is Chandler, and you remember Ross.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Hi, Mrs. Green. [He gets up to shake her hand, but she ignores him.]",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh Mom!",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Believe me, sometimes that happens.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Really?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I know who it is you remind me of. Evelyn Dermer. 'Course, that's before she got the lousy face lift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Pheebs, who's Evelyn Dermer?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I don't know. Who's Soupy Sales?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah, well just be glad he's not playing a smaller instrument.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I know. And Mom, I realize you and Daddy were upset when I didn't marry Barry and get the big house in the suburbs with all the security and everything, but this is just so much better for me, you know?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "For...me.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Well, what do you mean?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "[entering] All right. Tell me if this is too cute. Lesbian wedding, chicken breasts.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Oh god. I think I'm gonna be sick.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Why? It's not like I'm putting little nipples on them.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "And you had no idea they weren't getting along?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "None.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "They didn't fight a lot?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "No! They didn't even talk to each other. God, how was I supposed to know they were having problems?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "[Mrs. Adelman's voice] In my day, divorce was not an option.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Hey, look who's up.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "I just can't believe this is happening. I mean, when I was little, everybody's parents were getting divorced. I just figured as a grownup I wouldn't have to worry about this.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Is there any chance that you can look at this as flattering? I mean, she's doing it because she wants to be more like you.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Well, then, you know, couldn't she have just copied my haircut?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "You know, it's funny when my parents got divorced, they sent me to this shrink, and she told me that all kids have a tendency to blame themselves. But in your case it's actually kinda true.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "That's him.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Damn. My mail order grandfather hasn't come yet.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yes, hi, Mr. Adelman. Thanks for meeting me.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Um, do you wanna sit?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I don't know how to say this, but I think when your wife's spirit left her body, it um, kind of stuck around in me.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Yeah. Ok, you don't have to believe me but um, can you think of any unfinished business she might have had, like any reason she'd be hanging around?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Everything?",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Whoa, that's a lot of stuff.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I'm sorry, there's laughing in my head.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "These are from Halloween three years ago.",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "No, that was his costume. See, he's actually an orthodontist, but he came as a regular dentist.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Um, you guys, you know when I said before, \"thank you, but I don't really need your help\"?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Actually, what I think you said was, \"don't touch that, and get the hell out of my kitchen.\"",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "Really? Weird. Anyway, see, I planned everything really well. I planned and I planned and I planned. It just turns out, I don't think I planned enough time to actually do it.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Hey, Mon, you want some help?",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "If you want.",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "[enters] Hey. What a day. I took her everywhere. The Museum of Modern Art, Rockefeller Center, Statue of Liberty.",
"role": "assistant"
},
{
"content": "She's still with you?",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "Yeah. I guess she hasn't seen everything yet. I'll be right back, she has to go to the bathroom again. [Takes Mrs. Green's chin in her hand and says, in Mrs. Adelman's voice] Oh, such a pretty face.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "God!",
"role": "user"
},
{
"content": "All right, look, nobody's smoking pot around all this food.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh! What's new in sex?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "I'm dicing, I'm dicing, I don't hear anything.",
"role": "assistant"
}
] |
[
{
"content": "Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. I mean, god, you just come in here, and drop this bomb on me, before you even tell Daddy. What? What do you want? Do you want my blessing?",
"role": "user"
}
] |
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