bpben/friends_script · Datasets at Hugging Face

conversations listlengths 1 62
[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Aww, is it broken?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just fell out of the socket.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What is this? Fruit?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica's making jam.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because the kids need new shoes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "This will just be my batch.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oooh. Oh, well this is awkward.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, you're not a dingus.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, thanks a lot. Do you want to get a cup of coffee?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Mon?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Mon?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wait a minute, look.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, look, look.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What, what, what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's an empty apartment.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oooh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We're all alone in an empty apartment.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Honey, come on, I have to be at work in like ten minutes (Ross starts kissing her neck) Oh, all right, well it's not like I'm employee of the year or anything. (they fall onto the couch)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "There it is.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, oh, that's what you're talking about. (to Chandler) Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do I look fat?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, walk us through it, honey, walk us through it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nooo!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And it works both ways.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, so you both just know this stuff?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well you know, after about thirty or forty fights, you kinda catch on.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, for instance. Let's say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she gives you two options. Option number 1 she'll take a cab home from the airport. Option 2 is you can meet her at baggage claim. Which do you do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That's easy, baggage claim.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(buzzes) Wrong! Now you're single. It's actually secret option number three, you meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh honey, I'm sorry we can't help you there, 'cause we're cuddlily sleepers. (Chandler makes an 'Ewww' face) Okay, I'm late for work.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right are you guys gonna come down?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, yeah, yeah I'll, I'm right behind you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Good luck Chandler.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you Rachel.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Bye sweetie.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Bye hon.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(blows her a kiss) Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I thought you guys were cuddlily sleepers.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. (they sit on the couch and Ross puts his hands on Chandler's shoulder and thigh.) Okay, you're in bed...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. (they both notice where his hands are)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm gonna use the cushion.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her (demonstrates on the cushion) and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, the old hug and roll.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yep.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, one question.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Shoot.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're pretending the pillow's a girl right?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Looks at him) You're so pretty.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hi!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(with food in his mouth) You talked to him. Are you crazy?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Umm, not feeling better 'bout Malcom.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a tinsy bit carried away, you know. And we just get along really well, and he's so cute.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God, you've got a crush on your sister's stalker.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey guys.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Aww. (tastes it) Ohh!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds up one hand), or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Put your hands together.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No more jam?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, what happened to your jam plan?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, your gonna need much bigger jars.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What are you talking about?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm talking about me having a baby.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are you serious?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, aren't you forgetin' something? What, what, what is uh, what is that guy's name? Dad!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That, that's what's stupid.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Down at the docks again?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, great. Great. You're doing great, you know real strong. Going strong. Keep going.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, yeah. What's this? (picks up a book)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Um, not even a little bit.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, okay then.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Good. So what were you thinking?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Really?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, okay. (he kisses her)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering from her bedroom) Okay, sperm donor number 03815, come on down! Okay, he's 6'2\", 170 pounds, and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You mean there's more than one of us.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, you can't do this Mon. All right, if you do this, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna.....", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're gonna what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm gonna tell Mom.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Honey, I'm sorry, but he's right. I love you, but you're crazy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Crazy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to something....", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(interrupting her) Oh, it's not the ideal way...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Check it out!! Jam crackers!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, the Knicks rule!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey, this is you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Let me see. (goes over and looks at the form) Oh, right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "When did you go to a sperm bank?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And that's how you bought it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Noooo, that's what I was wearing when I donated. I'm kinda surprised there's any of my boys left.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hellooo!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "How's the maniac?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, well he's yummy. We did a little kissin'.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, what are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pheebs, this guy has been obsessed with your sister, for God knows how long, okay, you don't just give up something like that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You're taking the word of a guy who has night vision goggles?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What, he's not still following her. Do you think he is still following her?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pheebs, wake up and smell the restraining order.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you saying I should do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you, Monica.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh my God, what happened? (points to the cast on Janice's wrist)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Wow! Spinning that sounds like fun.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(turns around, not amused) Ross's what?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes? Yes! Oh.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the pillar, which way am I gonna go?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Where you going?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "To the bank.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sperm or regular?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sperm.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So you're really doing this, huh?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, picked a guy, 37135.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sounds nice.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "'Fraid so. Brown hair, green eyes...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No kiddin', hmm.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really? Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hoyt?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really, is he a swimmer?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "He's got the body for it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You guys have one of those signs that says", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We do not have one of those signs.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Two girls and a boy?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again).", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Honey, you got a little thing on your...(points to her whole face)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hello.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hello.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sure. What's up?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Just one uh, one additional relationship thought. Probably something your already familiar with, uh, women talk! (smacks Chandler over the head with a magazine)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, oh! It's on again!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You guys, can we please not watch this all right.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Can we please turn this off?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Noo way, Kevin.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Chandler) Are you intrigued?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're flingin'-flangin' right I am!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(on TV, finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, it's official there are no good movies.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, (turns sideways on the couch) so that you can bunny bump against my back.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, man. What's up?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I'll tell ya I do enjoy guilt, but, ah, it wasn't me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! (they all stare at her) Okay, it was me!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How is it you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yep, that's my audition.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That is unfair. I'll call her and tell her it was totally my fault.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What a sad little life she must lead. Okay, ooh (starts dialing).", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What, what are you doing? What are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, no, no, I know, I know, ooh. (on the phone in a different voice) 'Hi, this is Katelynn, from Phoebe Buffay's office. Um, is um, Ann there for Phoebe, she'll know what it's about.'", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Is anybody else scared?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, now you want a pad.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "There's my boy! Here's my boy! And here's his Barbi (Ben is holding a Barbi doll) What's ah, what's my boy doing with a Barbi?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, it's, it's, it's cute. Why, why, why does he have it, again?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You know what it's fine. If you're okay with the Barbi thing, so am I.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Give daddy the Barbi! Ben, give, give me the Barbi. Okay, how 'bout, don't you want to play with the monster truck? (makes a monster truck sound) No. Okay, oh, oh, how about a Dino-soilder? (squawks like a dinosaur)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll? (uses the Milk Master 2000 to pour milk into her cereal)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering from her bedroom) I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There it is. Joey, what are you doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm sorry, it just felt nice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering with his ringing phone) Joe. Joe! Answer the phone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, last night at dinner, when the meals came, she put half her chicken piccata on my plate and took my tomatoes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And that's bad because..., you hate chicken piccata?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Noo.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, it's like all of the sudden, we were this couple. And this alarm started going off in my head", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Men are unbelievable.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What is it with you people! I mean, the minute you start to feel something, you have to run away?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, you mean like that guy thing where you act mean and distant until you get us to break up with you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, you know about that?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look what do I do? I wanna get past this, I don't wanna be afraid of the commitment thing. I wanna go through the tunnel, to the other side!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Joey) Where there is no fear of commitment.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do we have any...(turns around and bumps Monica's fake chest) Do we have any thoughts here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Amazingly, that makes sense.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You think?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, it's your audition from this morning. Can I use the phone again?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sure Pheebs, you know, that's what it's there for, emergencies and pretend agents.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on baby, come on!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(on phone, in 'Katelynn's' voice) 'Hi, I have Phoebe Buffay returning a page. Okay, well, um, she's in her car I'll have to patch you through.'", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Very nice touch.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Unbelievable.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thank you so much.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It was really fun, I mean I've never talked on a car phone before.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I don't know. I mean it was fun one time.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on, please, it'll be just this one more, well actually it's two.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Two?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, I'll do it, but just these three, right", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nooo, four.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "'Cause, I wanted to uh, give you this. (hands her a present)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Because, you're my girlfriend, and that's what girlfriends should, should get.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, not me. But that's what's happened, and, ah, and, and there's more. We should take a trip.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yep, we're a couple and that's what couples do. And, I wanna meet your parents. We should take a trip with your parents!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "It doesn't scare me!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Honey, this will help. (hands him a tub of ice cream)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "That is never good.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Then I got all needy and clingy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Maybe it's not so bad. How did you leave it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She said she'd call me.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh God.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Welcome to our side of the tunnel.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This ice cream tastes like crap by the way.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, well that's that lo-cal, non dairy, soy milk junk. We sort of, we save the real stuff for those really terminal cases.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know, when you start get screwed over all the time, you gotta switch to low-fat.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, you do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, you don't think I'm terminal?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, no, not at all, you're not terminal, you just, you just need some damage control.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, okay. So, should I call her?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She has to know that your not ready.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Right. So, what you have to do is, you have to accidentally run into her on purpose. And then act aloof.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So I'm not, not gonna lose her?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oooh, honey, you're not a total loser.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I said, 'So I'm not gonna lose her?'", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Guess who's here. It's the toughest guy in toy land, Ben. (singing) 'A real American hero. I'm G.I. Joe!' Drop the Barbi, drop the Barbi.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "G.I. Joe? Do you really think he's gonna fall for that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) G. I. Joe! Cool! Can I play?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look Ben, it's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(entering) Helloo! Oh! (sees Joey and starts to leave)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pheebs! There you are!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No it's not, sorry.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But Phoebe, wait! Wait! Phoebe. Phoebe! (catches her in the hallway)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes! They called and you didn't get it! Okay, I mean you didn't get it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's okay, these things happen.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But they shouldn't happen, you know what, you're, you're in a terrible, terrible business. Oh God, I don't wanna be the person who makes your face look like that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm, I'm okay. See. (tries to smile, but fails horribly)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, now you're sad and creepy, oh. You know what, I, I'm sorry I quit, okay, I just quit.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! No, no you can't quit! You're the best agent I ever had! Look Pheebs, rejection is part being an actor, you can't take it personally.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not personal, really, well they said that they never met an Italian actor with a worse Italian accent.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "They actually said that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. Ooh God, there's that face again! See I can't do this job! I...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. (in a very bad Italian accent) I canna work on a new accent.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah okay, no if it helps you okay. Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(in a British accent) Hello, Janice.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(in accent) Oh, just a bit of shopping. How've you been?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(normal voice) No. Not anymore.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. (grabs a bag off of the shelf)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, I'm sorry if my friends aren't as sophisticated as yours.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Here in Chelsea.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "A woman's", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(shyly) Chelsea.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Can I be that guy?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Okay, so we got some more good rejections, lots of stuff to work on.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, shoot.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, um, oh, the zoo commercial.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't get it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, what else?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Um, the off-Broadway play people said 'You were pretty but dumb.'", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no wait, I'm sorry, that's 'pretty dumb.'", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, it's okay, no, no, no, really, look um, I really appreciate this Pheebs, but I think I'm gonna have to go back to Estelle.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, no, I understand.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You do, thanks.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. Sorry. (she starts to leave)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait a minute.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(in a coy tone) Oh, you caught me. I am so busted.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(in a really, really bad Italian accent) That's-ah what I suspected-ah.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My God! Chandler, we said be 'aloof' not 'a doof'.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I've actually ruined this haven't I? It's time for the good ice cream now, right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, it is.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know what, everything's gonna be okay.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Shhh...I don't know what to do, this is totally unprecedented.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If-if-if we ever did what you did a man would never call.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hello!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh wait, you know what, I got it, I got it, pretend like you just woke up, okay, that will throw her off. Be sleepy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, and grumpy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "He's soo lucky, if Janice were a guy, she'd be sleeping with somebody else by now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(on phone) I love you too.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Aw, it's soo unfair. (they both start digging into the 'good' ice cream)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, I don't know what to tell you guys that's the doll he chose.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Look, G. I. Joe's in, Barbi's out. And if you guys can't deal with it, that's your 'too bad.'", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What are you being such a weenie for? So he has a Barbi, big deal. You used to dress up like a woman.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, you used to dress up in Mom's clothes all the time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you talking about?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "The big hat, the pearls, the little pick handbag.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, you are totally making this up.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How can you not remember? You made us call you...Bea.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(remembering) Oh God.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Wasn't there a little song?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "There was no song. (to Monica) There was no song!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(singing) 'I am Bea.'", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "'I drink tea.'", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, that's, that's enough. (retreats to the bathroom)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "'....Won't you, won't you, won't you.... '", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(coming out of the bathroom) Won't you dance around with me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A-ha!!! (they all start laughing, as Ross hides in the bathroom)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. Y'know how were always saying we need a place for the mail.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Youre building a post office?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. (notices that Joey is wearing some really tight jeans) My word! Those are snug.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valentes.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Power saw kinda got away from me there.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(joining Phoebe outside) Hey Pheebs.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Any sign of your brother?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, but hes always late.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I thought you only met him once?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I did. I think it sounds y'know big sistery, y'know, Franks always late.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well relax, hell be here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Does anyone else think David Copperfield is cute?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, but he told me, he thinks your a fox.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Her what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one cant get mad.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship. Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, Chandler, whos on your list?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah, Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and ah, Jessica Rabbit.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Now, you do realize that shes a cartoon, and way out of your league?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, Monica, who would yours be?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "First, I need a boyfriend, then I can have a list.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I dont know, I guess, Chris ODonnel, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Spiderman?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hardy Boy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Peter Parker.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What about you honey, who would be on your list?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well I-I-I, that kind of thing requires some serious thought. First, Ill divide my perspective canidates into catergories....", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(coughing) What a geek!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Everbody this is Frank! This is my half-brother Frank.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "This is everybody. This is Ross.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Joey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey-hey!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "This is Monica.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "And this is Rachel.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Im gonna get coffee.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "We dont, really.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, so, now, do you guys have a lot of big plans?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah! Yeah, no, were gonna connect, y'know bond, and everything.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You know, we dont really take advantage of living in the city.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, Im sorry. Did I get ya?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Calm down, do you want this unit or not?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I do NOT want this unit!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fine! (goes into his room and slams the door, then he slams the bottom half of the door.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey! Where ya headin in those pants? 1982?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why, whats wrong with my bathroom floor?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nothing. Its just old and dingy, thats all.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I highly doubt that. (they both go to the bathroom)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah. If you ah, move your hamper, you see what color the tile used to be. (Monica gasps) Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I cant live like this! What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Relax. Here hold this (hands her his beer). This old stuff just comes right off. (he bends down to try and lift some tile right in the middle of the floor, in his tight pants.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats a little more than I wanted to see.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I cant leave it! You gouged a hole in my dingy floor.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Eh! There you go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know thats nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(sits up) Oh, ew!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah I know what I wanted to ask you. Um, can you roll your tongue? Because I can, and my Mom couldnt, and I thought y'know, I figured that was something I got from our Dad.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Aww, is it broken?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nooo. I had a story all worked out but then Chandler sold me out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I'm sorry Joe. I didn't think the doctor was gonna buy that it just *fell* out of the socket.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What is this? Fruit?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica's making jam.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa, jam! I love jam! (to Chandler) Hey, how come we never have jam at our place?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Because the kids need new shoes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm going into business people. I'm sick and tired of being depressed about Richard. I needed a plan, a plan to get over my man. What's the opposite of man? Jam. (sees Joey trying some jam from the pot) Oh Joey don't! It's way to hot. (Joey realizes this and spits what he had in his mouth back into the pot.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "This will just be my batch.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(turns around) Um, that's it. No. Hey! You! J. Crew guy. Yeah. Why have you been following me? I mean, all week long everywhere I look there's you.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oooh. Oh, well this is awkward.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, you're not a dingus.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, I mean look it's, it's not your fault, you know. I mean this is just what, what she does to guys, okay.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Wait, (grabs him) you know what, I got a little story. When I was in Junior High School I went through this period where I thought I was a witch. And there was this guidance counselor who said something to me, that I think will help you a lot. He said okay, 'you're not a witch you're just an average student.' See what I'm saying?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, thanks a lot. Do you want to get a cup of coffee?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Mon?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Mon?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(reading) 'Gone for more jars. Back later. Monica Geller.'", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wait a minute, look.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, look, look.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What, what, what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's an empty apartment.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oooh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We're all alone in an empty apartment.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Honey, come on, I have to be at work in like ten minutes (Ross starts kissing her neck) Oh, all right, well it's not like I'm employee of the year or anything. (they fall onto the couch)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "There it is.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, oh, that's what you're talking about. (to Chandler) Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do I look fat?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, I accept that. When Janice asked me and I said no, she took that to mean that I was calling her a cow.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, walk us through it, honey, walk us through it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, well. Janice said 'Hi, do I look fat today?' And I, I looked at her....", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa, whoa, whoa. You looked at her. You never look. You just answer, it's just a reflex. Do I look fat? Nooo! Is she prettier than I am? Noo! Does size matter?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nooo!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And it works both ways.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, so you both just know this stuff?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well you know, after about thirty or forty fights, you kinda catch on.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, for instance. Let's say, Janice is coming back from a trip and she gives you two options. Option number 1 she'll take a cab home from the airport. Option 2 is you can meet her at baggage claim. Which do you do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That's easy, baggage claim.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(buzzes) Wrong! Now you're single. It's actually secret option number three, you meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, this is good, this is good. All right listen, I have one. Janice likes to cuddle, at night, which, you know I'm all for. But, uh, you know when you want to go to sleep, you want some space. So, uh, how do I tell her that without, you know, accidentally calling her fat or something.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh honey, I'm sorry we can't help you there, 'cause we're cuddlily sleepers. (Chandler makes an 'Ewww' face) Okay, I'm late for work.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right are you guys gonna come down?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh, yeah, yeah I'll, I'm right behind you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Good luck Chandler.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you Rachel.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Bye sweetie.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Bye hon.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(blows her a kiss) Okay the sleeping thing. Very tricky business, but there is something you can do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I thought you guys were cuddlily sleepers.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. (they sit on the couch and Ross puts his hands on Chandler's shoulder and thigh.) Okay, you're in bed...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. (they both notice where his hands are)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm gonna use the cushion.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, you're in bed. She's over on your side, cuddling. Now you wait for her to drift off, and then you hug her (demonstrates on the cushion) and roll her back over to her side of the bed. And then you rollll a-way. Hug for her! Roll for you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, the old hug and roll.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yep.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, one question.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Shoot.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're pretending the pillow's a girl right?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Remember when you where a kid and your Mom would drop you off at the movies with a jar of jam and a little spoon?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Looks at him) You're so pretty.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hi!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, oh, you know that guy who's been following me? I talked to him today.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(with food in his mouth) You talked to him. Are you crazy?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Umm, not feeling better 'bout Malcom.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ooh! No, no, no, no, he's not like a kook, no. He's just like this, this very passionate, incredibly romantic guy, that got like a tinsy bit carried away, you know. And we just get along really well, and he's so cute.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God, you've got a crush on your sister's stalker.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I'm just gonna help him, you know, get 'de-Ursula-ized', like you know, like I did for Joey after he went out with her.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(with his mouthful) Hey, I didn't stalk her. I mean (he sprays Phoebe with crumbs)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, I asked for the news, not the weather.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey guys.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Aww. (tastes it) Ohh!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds up one hand), or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Put your hands together.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey, take your time with that. That's my last batch.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No more jam?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, what happened to your jam plan?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I figured out I need to charge seventeen bucks a jar just to break even. So, I've got a new plan now. Babies.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, your gonna need much bigger jars.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What are you talking about?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm talking about me having a baby.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Are you serious?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, aren't you forgetin' something? What, what, what is uh, what is that guy's name? Dad!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It took me 28 years to find one man that I wanna spend my life with, if I have to wait another 28 years then, I'll be 56 before I can have a baby, and that's just stupid.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That, that's what's stupid.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't need an actual man, just a couple of his best swimmers. And there, there are places you can go to get that stuff.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Down at the docks again?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, great. Great. You're doing great, you know real strong. Going strong. Keep going.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, yeah. What's this? (picks up a book)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Um, not even a little bit.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, okay then.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Good. So what were you thinking?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Really?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, okay. (he kisses her)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No, that's all right. I just had a jar of mustard.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering from her bedroom) Okay, sperm donor number 03815, come on down! Okay, he's 6'2\", 170 pounds, and he describes himself as a male Geena Davis.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You mean there's more than one of us.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, you can't do this Mon. All right, if you do this, I'm, I'm gonna, I'm, I'm gonna.....", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're gonna what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm gonna tell Mom.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Honey, I'm sorry, but he's right. I love you, but you're crazy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Crazy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?! Why? Why is this crazy? So this isn't the ideal way to something....", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(interrupting her) Oh, it's not the ideal way...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Lips moving, still talking. I mean it may not be ideal, but I'm so ready. No, I-I-I see the way Ben looks at you. It makes me ache, you know?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Check it out!! Jam crackers!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, all right, how's this? 27. Italian-American guy. He's an actor, born in Queens. Wow, big family, seven sisters, and he's the only....boy. (they all turn and look at Joey) Oh my God, under personal comments", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, the Knicks rule!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey, this is you!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Let me see. (goes over and looks at the form) Oh, right.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "When did you go to a sperm bank?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, right after I did that sex study down at NYU. (to Chandler) Hey, Remember that sweater I gave you for your birthday?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "And that's how you bought it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Noooo, that's what I was wearing when I donated. I'm kinda surprised there's any of my boys left.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, honey, it is pretty competitive. I mean I've got an actual rocket scientist here.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Maybe, I should call this place and get them to put my 'Days of Our Lives' on here. You know, juice this puppy up a little.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hellooo!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How's the maniac?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, well he's yummy. We did a little kissin'.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, what are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, no, no, no, no. You know what, he's not into that stuff anymore. He quit for me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pheebs, this guy has been obsessed with your sister, for God knows how long, okay, you don't just give up something like that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You're taking the word of a guy who has night vision goggles?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What, he's not still following her. Do you think he is still following her?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pheebs, wake up and smell the restraining order.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you saying I should do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I think, that if you really like this guy, you should just trust him.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you, Monica.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Orrr, you could follow him and see where he goes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, that's what I would do, forget mine.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh my God, what happened? (points to the cast on Janice's wrist)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Wow! Spinning that sounds like fun.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(turns around, not amused) Ross's what?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yes? Yes! Oh.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, I was just here looking for, um, my um, my part of an old sandwich. Oh, here it is! Oh. (picks one up out of the garbage can.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Um, perhaps. Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I was just afraid that you were still hung up on my sister.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh well, what do you know, there goes my identical twin sister. Just walkin' along looking like me. What, is this just like a freakish coincidence, or did you know she takes this train?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, just, okay, look I'm going. Um, come on. Op, op, behind the pillar, which way am I gonna go?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Where you going?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "To the bank.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sperm or regular?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sperm.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So you're really doing this, huh?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah, picked a guy, 37135.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sounds nice.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "'Fraid so. Brown hair, green eyes...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No kiddin', hmm.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I-I figured you would've picked a blond guy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really? Why?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know, I just always pictured you ending up with one of those tall, smart blond guys, name like.... Hoyt.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hoyt?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's a name, yeah. I saw you, you know, in this great house with a big pool.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Really, is he a swimmer?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "He's got the body for it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I like that. (Joey starts laughing) What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You guys have one of those signs that says", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We do not have one of those signs.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sure you do, it was a gift from me. Oh! And you have these three great kids.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Two girls and a boy?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And, and, and they wear those little water wings, you know. And they're, they're running around on the deck. Then Hoyt wraps this big towel around all three of them.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sure! (Monica gets very depressed) But hey, you know this way sounds good too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh Monica. (goes over and hugs her, then looks at the form and stops hugging her.) Wow, this guy's an astronaut. That would've been cool, (sees Monica) for like a day. (hugs her again).", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I called the sperm bank today, they haven't sold a single unit of Tribianni. Nobody wants my product. I mean, I-I-I don't get it (tries to drink the rest of the jam out of the jar and gets it all over his face, on his chin, nose, etc.) Maybe if they met me in person.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Honey, you got a little thing on your...(points to her whole face)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(wipes a little jam from the corner of his mouth) Did I get it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hello.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hello.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sure. What's up?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Just one uh, one additional relationship thought. Probably something your already familiar with, uh, women talk! (smacks Chandler over the head with a magazine)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, oh! It's on again!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You guys, can we please not watch this all right.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(on tv) Oh, you said it Mike. (rips open the carton and spills milk on the counter) Aw! There's got to be a better way!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Can we please turn this off?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Noo way, Kevin.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Chandler) Are you intrigued?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're flingin'-flangin' right I am!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(on TV, finishing installing the Milk Master 2000) Wow, it is easy. (starts to poor the milk) Now, I can have milk everyday.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, it's official there are no good movies.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, (turns sideways on the couch) so that you can bunny bump against my back.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, man. What's up?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I'll tell ya I do enjoy guilt, but, ah, it wasn't me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, it was! It was him! Uh huh! (they all stare at her) Okay, it was me!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How is it you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yep, that's my audition.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "See, now this is why I keep notepads everywhere.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yep, and that's why we don't invite you to play.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, Estelle tried, you know. The casting director told her that I missed my chance.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That is unfair. I'll call her and tell her it was totally my fault.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pheebs, you can't do that. The casting director doesn't talk to friends, she only talks to agents.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What a sad little life she must lead. Okay, ooh (starts dialing).", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What, what are you doing? What are you doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, no, no, I know, I know, ooh. (on the phone in a different voice) 'Hi, this is Katelynn, from Phoebe Buffay's office. Um, is um, Ann there for Phoebe, she'll know what it's about.'", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hang up, hang up. (reaches with his good arm, but Phoebe grabs it and he tries to reach the phone with his other arm but can't because of the sling.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) 'Annie! Hi. Listen we got a problem with Joey Tribbiani, apparently he missed his audition. Who did you speak to in my office? Estelle, no, I don't know what I'm going to do with her. No. All right, so your husband leaves and burns down the apartment, the world does not stop.'", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Is anybody else scared?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Get the woman a pad! Get the woman a pad! A pad! A pad!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, now you want a pad.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "There's my boy! Here's my boy! And here's his Barbi (Ben is holding a Barbi doll) What's ah, what's my boy doing with a Barbi?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, it's, it's, it's cute. Why, why, why does he have it, again?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You know what it's fine. If you're okay with the Barbi thing, so am I.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Give daddy the Barbi! Ben, give, give me the Barbi. Okay, how 'bout, don't you want to play with the monster truck? (makes a monster truck sound) No. Okay, oh, oh, how about a Dino-soilder? (squawks like a dinosaur)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ross, you are so pathetic. Why can't your son just play with his doll? (uses the Milk Master 2000 to pour milk into her cereal)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering from her bedroom) I gotta go to work. Has anybody seen my left boob?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I love that movie. (Joey is using it as a pillow)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There it is. Joey, what are you doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm sorry, it just felt nice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering with his ringing phone) Joe. Joe! Answer the phone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, I only got one good arm, you know. You should be doing stuff for me. Go get me a sweater.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just do it! Okay, it's Janice and if I get it I'm going to have to see her tonight. (phone stops ringing) Oh, that's great I'm gonna have to see her tonight.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What's the big deal? Why don't you wanna see Janice?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, last night at dinner, when the meals came, she put half her chicken piccata on my plate and took my tomatoes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And that's bad because..., you hate chicken piccata?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Noo.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, it's like all of the sudden, we were this couple. And this alarm started going off in my head", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Men are unbelievable.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What is it with you people! I mean, the minute you start to feel something, you have to run away?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, you mean like that guy thing where you act mean and distant until you get us to break up with you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, you know about that?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look what do I do? I wanna get past this, I don't wanna be afraid of the commitment thing. I wanna go through the tunnel, to the other side!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Joey) Where there is no fear of commitment.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Do we have any...(turns around and bumps Monica's fake chest) Do we have any thoughts here?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I've never been through the tunnel myself, 'cause as I understand it, you're not allowed to go through with more than one girl in the car, right. But, it seems to me it's pretty much like anything else, you know, face your fear. It have a fear of heights, you go to the top of the building! If you're afraid of bugs.....get a bug. Right. In this case, you have a fear of commitment, so I say you go in there and be the most committed guy there ever was.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Amazingly, that makes sense.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You think?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, yeah. Go for it man, jump off the high dive, stare down the barrel of the gun, pee into the wind!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I'm staring down the barrel of a gun, I'm pretty much peeing every which way.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, it's your audition from this morning. Can I use the phone again?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Sure Pheebs, you know, that's what it's there for, emergencies and pretend agents.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on baby, come on!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(on phone, in 'Katelynn's' voice) 'Hi, I have Phoebe Buffay returning a page. Okay, well, um, she's in her car I'll have to patch you through.'", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Very nice touch.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Unbelievable.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thank you so much.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It was really fun, I mean I've never talked on a car phone before.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You were amazing, could you just do me this huge favor, you see there's this one other audition that I really, really want, and Estelle couldn't get me in.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, I don't know. I mean it was fun one time.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on, please, it'll be just this one more, well actually it's two.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Two?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, I'll do it, but just these three, right", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Nooo, four.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "'Cause, I wanted to uh, give you this. (hands her a present)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, wait there's, there's more. See the contact paper is to go into your brand new drawer. (gives her a drawer) See, the drawer actually goes in my dresser.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yes, I did. Yes, I did. Because, you're my girlfriend, and that's what girlfriends should, should get.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, not me. But that's what's happened, and, ah, and, and there's more. We should take a trip.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yep, we're a couple and that's what couples do. And, I wanna meet your parents. We should take a trip with your parents!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "It doesn't scare me!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, no, no, no, don't go! I've scared ya'! I've said too much! I'm hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!! (Janice leaves, Chandler then calls Janice to leave a message on her machine) Hey, Janice! It's me. Um, yeah, I-I-I just wanna apologize in advance for having chased you down the street. (runs out the door)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Honey, this will help. (hands him a tub of ice cream)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So, I finally catch up to her and she says this relationship is going to fast and we have to slow down.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "That is never good.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Then I got all needy and clingy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Maybe it's not so bad. How did you leave it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She said she'd call me.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh God.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Welcome to our side of the tunnel.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This ice cream tastes like crap by the way.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, well that's that lo-cal, non dairy, soy milk junk. We sort of, we save the real stuff for those really terminal cases.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know, when you start get screwed over all the time, you gotta switch to low-fat.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, you do.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, you don't think I'm terminal?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, no, not at all, you're not terminal, you just, you just need some damage control.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, okay. So, should I call her?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She has to know that your not ready.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Right. So, what you have to do is, you have to accidentally run into her on purpose. And then act aloof.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So I'm not, not gonna lose her?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oooh, honey, you're not a total loser.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I said, 'So I'm not gonna lose her?'", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Guess who's here. It's the toughest guy in toy land, Ben. (singing) 'A real American hero. I'm G.I. Joe!' Drop the Barbi, drop the Barbi.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "G.I. Joe? Do you really think he's gonna fall for that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(entering) G. I. Joe! Cool! Can I play?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look Ben, it's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(entering) Helloo! Oh! (sees Joey and starts to leave)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pheebs! There you are!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No it's not, sorry.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But Phoebe, wait! Wait! Phoebe. Phoebe! (catches her in the hallway)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, Joey! Oh, okay, see I didn't recognize you wearing, in those....pants.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look listen, that TV movie I went in for? Did you hear anything? I think I got a shot at it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes! They called and you didn't get it! Okay, I mean you didn't get it, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It's okay, these things happen.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But they shouldn't happen, you know what, you're, you're in a terrible, terrible business. Oh God, I don't wanna be the person who makes your face look like that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm, I'm okay. See. (tries to smile, but fails horribly)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, now you're sad and creepy, oh. You know what, I, I'm sorry I quit, okay, I just quit.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No! No, no you can't quit! You're the best agent I ever had! Look Pheebs, rejection is part being an actor, you can't take it personally.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not personal, really, well they said that they never met an Italian actor with a worse Italian accent.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "They actually said that?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. Ooh God, there's that face again! See I can't do this job! I...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. (in a very bad Italian accent) I canna work on a new accent.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah okay, no if it helps you okay. Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(running into the hall, in slow motion) You'll never get me, Joe!!! (he then pretends that he gets shot repeatedly and falls back against Joey and Chandler's door, dead.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(in a British accent) Hello, Janice.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(in accent) Oh, just a bit of shopping. How've you been?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(normal voice) No. Not anymore.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, huh. I'm just uh, you know I'm just picking up some things for a party. (grabs a bag off of the shelf)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, I'm sorry if my friends aren't as sophisticated as yours.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Here in Chelsea.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "A woman's", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(shyly) Chelsea.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Can I be that guy?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Okay, so we got some more good rejections, lots of stuff to work on.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, shoot.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay, um, oh, the zoo commercial.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I didn't get it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. They said you 'Weren't believable as a human being.' So, you can work on that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, what else?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Um, the off-Broadway play people said 'You were pretty but dumb.'", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh no wait, I'm sorry, that's 'pretty dumb.'", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, it's okay, no, no, no, really, look um, I really appreciate this Pheebs, but I think I'm gonna have to go back to Estelle.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, no, I understand.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You do, thanks.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. Sorry. (she starts to leave)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait a minute.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait a minute, did you just make up all that stuff just to get out of being my agent.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(in a coy tone) Oh, you caught me. I am so busted.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(in a really, really bad Italian accent) That's-ah what I suspected-ah.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "....And then I just, you know, threw the bag of barley at her, and ran out of the store.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "My God! Chandler, we said be 'aloof' not 'a doof'.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I've actually ruined this haven't I? It's time for the good ice cream now, right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, it is.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know what, everything's gonna be okay.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(answering phone) Hello. Hi, Janice! Can you hold on for a second? Okay. (to Monica and Rachel) Okay, what do I do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Shhh...I don't know what to do, this is totally unprecedented.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "If-if-if we ever did what you did a man would never call.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hello!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh wait, you know what, I got it, I got it, pretend like you just woke up, okay, that will throw her off. Be sleepy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, and grumpy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "He's soo lucky, if Janice were a guy, she'd be sleeping with somebody else by now.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(on phone) I love you too.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Aw, it's soo unfair. (they both start digging into the 'good' ice cream)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, I don't know what to tell you guys that's the doll he chose.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Look, G. I. Joe's in, Barbi's out. And if you guys can't deal with it, that's your 'too bad.'", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What are you being such a weenie for? So he has a Barbi, big deal. You used to dress up like a woman.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, you used to dress up in Mom's clothes all the time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What are you talking about?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "The big hat, the pearls, the little pick handbag.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, you are totally making this up.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How can you not remember? You made us call you...Bea.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(remembering) Oh God.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Wasn't there a little song?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "There was no song. (to Monica) There was no song!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(singing) 'I am Bea.'", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "'I drink tea.'", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay, that's, that's enough. (retreats to the bathroom)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "'....Won't you, won't you, won't you.... '", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(coming out of the bathroom) Won't you dance around with me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "A-ha!!! (they all start laughing, as Ross hides in the bathroom)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(entering) Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey-hey-hey. So what happened? A forest tick you off?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. Y'know how were always saying we need a place for the mail.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Youre building a post office?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, an entertainment unit, with a mail cubby built right in. Its a one day job, max.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. (notices that Joey is wearing some really tight jeans) My word! Those are snug.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh yeah. These are my old work pants, Sergio Valentes.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Power saw kinda got away from me there.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(joining Phoebe outside) Hey Pheebs.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Any sign of your brother?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, but hes always late.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I thought you only met him once?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I did. I think it sounds y'know big sistery, y'know, Franks always late.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well relax, hell be here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I know, Im just nervous. Y'know its just y'know Moms dead, dont talk to my sister, Grandmas been sleeping a lot lately. Its like the last desperate chance to have a family, y'know, kinda thing. Youre so sweet to wait with me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, actually Gunther sent me. Youre not allowed to have cups out here, its a thing. (takes her cup and goes back inside)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Does anyone else think David Copperfield is cute?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, but he told me, he thinks your a fox.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, Janice, likes him. In fact she likes him so much she put him on her freebie list.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Her what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, we have a deal, where we each get to pick five celebrities that we can sleep with, and the other one cant get mad.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah, the heart of every healthy relationship. Honesty, respect, and sex with celebrities.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, Chandler, whos on your list?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ah, Kim Basinger, Cindy Crawford, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth, and ah, Jessica Rabbit.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Now, you do realize that shes a cartoon, and way out of your league?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know, I know, I just always wondered if I could get her eyes to pop out of her head.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, Monica, who would yours be?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "First, I need a boyfriend, then I can have a list.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Its just a game Mon. (makes a Can-you-believe-her face to the rest of the gang.) Rach, how about you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I dont know, I guess, Chris ODonnel, John F. Kennedy, Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting, and Parker Stevenson.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Spiderman?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hardy Boy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Peter Parker.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What about you honey, who would be on your list?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well I-I-I, that kind of thing requires some serious thought. First, Ill divide my perspective canidates into catergories....", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(coughing) What a geek!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Everbody this is Frank! This is my half-brother Frank.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "This is everybody. This is Ross.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hi.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Joey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey-hey!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "This is Monica.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "And this is Rachel.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hi!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Im gonna get coffee.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "We dont, really.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, so, now, do you guys have a lot of big plans?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah! Yeah, no, were gonna connect, y'know bond, and everything.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You know, we dont really take advantage of living in the city.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, Im sorry. Did I get ya?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, you didnt get me!! Its an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Calm down, do you want this unit or not?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I do NOT want this unit!!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, you shouldve told me that before, Im not a mind reader. Hey, were out of beer. Im going to Monicas.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Fine! (goes into his room and slams the door, then he slams the bottom half of the door.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey! Where ya headin in those pants? 1982?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh Monica, listen, I ah, I saw down at the hardware store, they got those designer tiles on sale. If you ever want to redo the bathroom floor.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why, whats wrong with my bathroom floor?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nothing. Its just old and dingy, thats all.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I highly doubt that. (they both go to the bathroom)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh yeah. If you ah, move your hamper, you see what color the tile used to be. (Monica gasps) Yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I cant live like this! What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Relax. Here hold this (hands her his beer). This old stuff just comes right off. (he bends down to try and lift some tile right in the middle of the floor, in his tight pants.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thats a little more than I wanted to see.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(manages to pry off only a small piece) Aw! Look at that, every inch of this stuff is glued down. Itd take forever to pry this up. You should ah, you should just leave it. (starts to walk away, but Monica grabs him)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I cant leave it! You gouged a hole in my dingy floor.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Eh! There you go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You know thats nice, y'know we could put it back there after the surgeons remove it from your colon!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(sits up) Oh, ew!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah I know what I wanted to ask you. Um, can you roll your tongue? Because I can, and my Mom couldnt, and I thought y'know, I figured that was something I got from our Dad.", "role": "user" } ]