bpben/friends_script · Datasets at Hugging Face

conversations listlengths 1 62
[ { "content": "And bus.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "The screaming guy?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You gotta hear this story.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "200 at least.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "And the chicken pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is amazing. I mean, how, how did this happen?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Julie) It's an expression.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, we just wanted to say a quick hi, and then we're gonna go see the baby.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, it's really 6", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, listen, don't tell us what's gonna happen though, 'cause I like to be surprised.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Bye. (She closes the door and everyone tries to sympathize with her.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, Rach, can I get some coffee?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, sure.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, Rach, can I get...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Did you talk to him?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not yet.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Then, no.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know, I know I was, but there was always this little voice inside that kept saying it's never gonna happen, move on. You know whose voice that was?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "God?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It was you, pal.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, maybe it was God, doing me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, you were right. She looks at me and sees a friend, that's all. But then I met Julie, and I don't know, we're havin' a great time. And I have to say, I never would've gone for it with her if it hadn't been for you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, you owe me one, big guy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Ross) Here's your lemonade.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I didn't order lemonade.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Go-go-go-go, come on! (Ross goes over to the counte) (to Chandler) So uh, what did you find out?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How is that the silver lining?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You have to really wanna see it.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ironically, these are the guys who were picked last in gym.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Pheebes, you know what I'm thinking?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, although now that's what I'm thinking.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, so what were you thinking?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ohh! No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why not?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No you're not.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(answering the phone) Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, hold on a second. Ross, it's Julie, for you. (Throws him the phone.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) Hello? Hi.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hi. Anybody know a good tailor?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Needs some clothes altered?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why don't you go see Frankie? My family's been goin' to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No wait, 16. No, 'scuse me, 15. (still confused) All right, when was 1990?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. You have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits down next to Rachel) Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (Doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She didn't hang up either!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel! I'll just call her back.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(calls Julie back) Hi? Sorry, we got disconnected... (Walks away.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Monica) Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I can't have.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here. (Exits)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, I don't care what you guys say, something's bothering her.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Chandler) You know, I think I was sixteen.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm still on \"no.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(poking her head in from her bedroom) Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no-no-no, (grabs his pants) I'm not fallin' for that again.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What's goin' on?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I sorta did a stupid thing last night.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What stupid thing did you do?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ewww! (Gets up and walks away.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ok, Paulo, why don't you just go get dressed, and then you be on your way, ok, bye-bye. (Paulo goes into his room.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rachel, how did this happen?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know, I just kinda ran into him last night.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Where?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "At his apartment. Is this juice?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh God, I know I'm a pathetic loser.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Honey, you're not pathetic, you're sad.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "People do stupid things when they're upset.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't...(Everyone looks at her), but this is about your horrible mistake.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hi. Sorry we're late but we werewell, there was touching.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, Paulo. What are you doing here?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Rachel) So, uh, he's back.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, not a problem.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Good! I'm glad it's not a problem.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, in spite of the yummy bagels and palpable tension, I've got pants that need to be altered.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Are you sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I promise.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right. (Talking to Monica's hair.) Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "All right, that's it, I quit.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? I didn't say anything.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How who wears it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Demi Moore.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Demi Moore is not a he.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's Dudley Moore. I said I wanted it like Demi Moore.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh. Oh!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's the actress that was in Disclosure, Indecent Proposal, Ghost!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know!", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "At least as long as I have the pants.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "How is she?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How's the hair?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Can we see her?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. (Gets up, but then pauses when he realizes what that meant.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "How're you doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ooh, that bad, huh?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. It's one of my gifts.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You gotta tell Ross how you feel.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know, I don't know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, Rach, Rach! I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering, angry) Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? (Pause) Your tailor is a very bad man!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Frankie? What're you talking about?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering from the bedroom) Hey, what's goin' on? (Pats Chandler on the shoulder which causes him to jump.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey's tailor...took advantage of me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No way. I've been going to the guy for 12 years.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Cupping.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, yes it is. In prison! Whatsa matter with you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? That's not? (Realizes) Oh my God.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Even Mary Tyler Moore would've been better.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thank you. My hair is very amused.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on, Monica, things could be worse. You could get caught between the moon and New York City. I know it's crazy, but it's true.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I gotta go. Bye. Bye, Rach.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sticking her head in from the balcony) Wait, are you leaving?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, that's kinda what I meant by \"bye!\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, can I talk to you for a sec?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. (goes out onto the balcony)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, when the doctor does that hernia test...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That's ok.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What's goin' on?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No. No-no-no-no.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, then, I think, I think the guy is scum. I hate him. I mean I actuallyI-I physically hate him. I always have. You are way too good to be with a guy like that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking \"Oh my god, I'm with Rachel\". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I think that was the whole all.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. Okay. (They hug.) Okay.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I swear to god, Dad. That's not how they measure pants.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You wanna do it right now?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No. No no no no no. That's Rodney McDowell. Andie McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're welcome.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(entering from her bedroom carrying a present) Ok, these were unbelievably expensive, and I know he's gonna grow out of them in like, 20 minutes, but I couldn't resist. (There a little pair of Nike shoes.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, look at these! Hey, Ben. Just do it. (Ben starts to cry) Oh my God, oh, ok, was that too much pressure for him?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You know, it's... (sees the feeding taking place next to him) something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back. (Goes into the kitchen)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(joins him) I gotta get one, too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We're just hanging out by the spoons. Ladle?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, we know, but there's a baby suckin' on it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Carol?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh, does it hurt?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Chandler?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, uh, how often can you do it?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ok, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, I forget which ones.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(to Julie) Thank you. (under her breath to Chandler) What a bitch.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I can't, I have to take my grandmother to the vet.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, um, I'll go with you.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(enters) Hi, honey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, sweetums.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hello to the rest.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Monica what're you doin'? You can't go shopping with her? What about Rachel?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's gonna be a problem, isn't it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on, you're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie? That's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But I'm...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Monica) So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, uh, it's actually not that big a deal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You're welcome.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Woof, woof.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(A guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (An attractive woman walks by.) Hey Annabelle.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Who?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "What's he doin' in my section?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? (To the Hombre Man) Hey, how ya doin'?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah. Bijan for men?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We were shopping, and we had lunch.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, all right. What did I have?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You had a salad.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, no wonder I don't feel full.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey, guys, what's up.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I went shopping with Monica all day, and I had a salad.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Good, Pheebs. What'd you buy?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Um, we went shopping for um, for, fur.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You went shopping for fur?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, and then I realized I'm against that, and uh, so then we bought some, (sees Monica pointing at her chest) uh, boobs.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You bought boobs?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Monica is yanking on her bra strap) Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(to a guy) Bijan for men? (to a guy) Bijan for men? (To a woman) Bijan for... (Sees it's a woman and stops.) (To Annabelle who walks up.) Hey, Annabelle, Uh, listen, I was wondering if maybe after work you and I could go maybe grab a cup of coffee.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(To a co-worker) Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. (A customer walks by.) Bijan for men? (The customer ignores him, and Joey starts to chase him) Bijan for men?!", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, this is so cute.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "My mommies love me. That's clever.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju(Sees Rachel is watching)Hi, Jew! (Walks into the kitchen.) (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens) Ok. (Listens) Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye. (Hangs up.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Did you just say Hi, Jew?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes. Uh, yes, I did. That was my friend, Eddie Moskowitz. Yeah, he likes it. Reaffirms his faith.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Ben, dinner!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks Aunt Pheebs. Hey, you didn't microwave that, did you, because it's breast milk, and you're not supposed to do that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Duh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok. (Squirts some on her wrist and tastes it.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What did you just do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I licked my arm, what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's breast milk.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What is the big deal? (Tastes the breast milk.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What did you just do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, would people stop drinking the breast milk?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You won't even taste it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not even if you just pretend that it's milk?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, where is everybody?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just out. Had some lunch, just me, little quality time with me. Thanks for your jacket.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Mon, if uh you were at lunch alone, how come it cost you uh 53 dollars?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That is an excellent excellent question. That is excellent.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica, what is with you? Who'd you have lunch with?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Judy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Who?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Julie.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Jody!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You were with Julie?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were...shopping.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. Oh my God.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Honey, wait. We only did it once. It didn't mean anything to me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, right. Sure!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, please, you wanted to get caught. (Waves the receipt)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That is not true!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? (Monica looks away.) Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. (Exits.)", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(on the phone) Hi, who's this? (Listens) Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. (Listens) Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. (Listens) Joanne, it's not as simple as all that, ok? (Listens) No, I don't care what Steve thinks. (Listens) Hi, Steve.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, I tasted Ben's milk, and Ross freaked out.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I did not freak out.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Because it's breast milk. It's gross.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Of course the packaging does appeal to grown-ups and kids alike.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(jumping away) That would be no.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on. It doesn't taste bad.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, it's kinda sweet, sorta like, uh...", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Exactly.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(staring at Susan) You've tasted it? You've tasted it.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, you've tasted it.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "(he rolls up his sleeve) Gimme the bottle. (Joey hands him the bottle and Ross squirts some on his arm.) Gimme the towel. (Joey gives him the towel and he wipes it off.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Howdy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sitting on the otherside of the counter from Chandler) Gimme a box a juice. Well, they switched me over to Hombre.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. (Chandler pours some juice in a glass.) You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. (He downs the glass of juice in one swig.) I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(pours more and slides the refill to Joey) All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah I guess you're right.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm gonna do it. (He downs the juice in one swig again.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right. Now go see Miss Kitty and she'll fix you up with a nice hooker.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "I don't know what else to say.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well that works out good, because I'm not listening.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I feel terrible, I really do.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel, (they go back inside) say that I'm friends with her, we spend some time together. Is that so terrible?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's that terrible?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually (starting to cry), but now she's actually stealing you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, (starting to cry) you're my...We're, we're...Oh, I love you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I love you too. (They hug.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she was just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her. Would you just give that a chance, for me?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(crying) I'd do anything for you, you know that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(crying) I'd do anything for you. (They hug again.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait, wait, wait, wait! (Runs over and joins in on the hug again.)", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Mornin'. (The Hombre man ignores him) I said, mornin'.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, I'm ready.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "So. I just thought the two of us should hang out for a bit. I mean, you know, we've never really talked. I guess you'd know that, being one of the two of us, though, right?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Really? Me?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, you're not totally paranoid.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Yeah, that'd be great. I'd love it.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "All right, Julie.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Bye. (After Julie exits.) What a manipulative bitch.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "(with a mouthful) That's not bad.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So how was Joan?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I broke up with her.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "They were huge. When she sneezed, bats flew out of them.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on, they were not that huge.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm tellin' you, she leaned back, I could see her brain.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How many perfectly fine women are you gonna reject over the most superficial insignificant things?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You or me?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I got it. Uh, Joey, women don't have Adam's apples.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You guys are messin' with me, right?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "That was a good one. For a second there, I was like, \"whoa.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Maureen Rosilla.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not hating Yanni is not a real reason.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hello, Mr. Heckles.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "We're not doing anything.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "You don't have birds.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ok, Mr. Heckles, we'll try to keep it down.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "All right, bye-bye.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, Janice. Janice. You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We'll give you Janice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I miss Janice though. \"Hello, Chandler Bing.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "\"Oh, my, god.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "\"Oh, Chandler, now, now, that's it. There, faster!\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Stop with the broom, we're not making noise.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We won. We won!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Mr. Heckles.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How did this happen?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "That's terrible.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ok, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, Phoebe.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Such as?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Like crop circles, or the Bermuda triangle, or evolution?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nah. Not really.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You don't believe in evolution?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Too easy? Too...The process of every living thing on this planet evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms, too easy?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I just don't buy it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, don't get me started on gravity.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You uh, you don't believe in gravity?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Uh-Oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What can we do for you?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Well, what about his family?", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Ok, so let's talk money.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "I can't believe that this whole time we thought he hated us. I mean, isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life, without even knowing it?...Would you look at this dump? He hated us. This is his final revenge!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Have you ever seen so much crap?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Check this out. Can I have this?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How can you not believe in evolution?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just don't. Look at this funky shirt!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pheebs, I have studied evolution my entire adult life. Ok, I can tell you, we have collected fossils from all over the world that actually show the evolution of different species, ok? You can literally see them evolving through time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really? You can actually see it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You bet. In the U.S., China, Africa, all over.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "See, I didn't know that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, there you go.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Huh. So now, the real question is, who put those fossils there, and why?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, look at this. \"My Big Book of Grievances.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, there's me! April 17th. Excessive noise. Italian guy comes homes with a date. Hey Chandler, look, you're in here too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "April 18th, excessive noise. Italian guy's gay roommate comes home with the dry-cleaning. Well that's excellent.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rache, I think we have enough regular lamps.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? Come on, it's not like I'm asking for this girly clock or anything, which, by the way, I also think is very cool.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It doesn't go with any of my stuff.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, what about my stuff?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You don't have any stuff.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You still think of it as your apartment, don't you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I'm just somebody who rents a room.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Mmmmm.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, while you \"mmm\" on it for awhile, I'm gonna go find a place for my new lamp.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, Pheebs. See how I'm making these little toys move? Opposable thumbs. Without evolution, how do you explain opposable thumbs?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Please tell me you're joking.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, can't we just say that you believe in something, and I don't.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, no, Pheebs, we can't, ok, because--", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Is there blood coming out of my ears?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Check it out, check it out. Heckles' high school yearbook.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow, he looks so normal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "He's even kind of cute.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "\"Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Funniest? Heckles?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's what it says.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'd call that excessive.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Heckles played clarinet in band, and I played clarinet. And he was in the scale modeler's club, and I was, well, there was no club, but I sure thought they were cool.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So, you were both dorks. Big deal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Have you been here all night?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look at this. Pictures of all the women that Heckles went out with. Look what he wrote on them. Vivian, too tall. Madge, big gums. Too loud, too smart, makes noise when she eats. This is, this is me. This is what I do. I'm gonna end up alone, just like he did.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Our trains are on the same track, ok? Yeah, sure, I'm coming up 30 years behind him, but the stops are all the same. Bitter Town. Aloneville. Hermit Junction.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, you know what we gotta do? We gotta get you outta here. Come on, I'll buy you breakfast, let's go.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What if I never find someone? Or worse, what if I've found her, but I dumped her because she pronounced it \"supposably\"?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, come on, you're gonna find somebody.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How do you know that? How?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know, I'm just tryin' to help you out.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You'll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I'm gonna end up alone. Will you promise me something? When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I don't know. I don't know what we're gonna be doin'. I mean, what if we're at her folks' place?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I understand.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You can come over and watch the Super Bowl. Every year, all right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know what? I'm not gonna end up like this. I'll see you man.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Supposably. Supposably. Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) Hi, it's me.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Janice? You called Janice?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You remember Janice, right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes. She was smart, she was pretty, and she honestly cared about me. Janice is my last chance to have somebody.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Oh, my, god!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Geez, look how fat she got.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Janice, you're--", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Is it--?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Congratulations.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "You couldn't have told me about this on the phone?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Hey, Rache. You know what we haven't played in a while?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hide the Lamp.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monica, let it go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Did you know I was allergic to shellfish?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, then, you'll just have to eat the other lamps.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh-oh. It's Scary Scientist Man.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, ok, I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's the only possibility, Phoebe.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There might be, a teeny, tiny, possibility.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I can't believe you caved.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You just abandoned your whole belief system. I mean, before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. How, how, how are you going to go into work tomorrow? How, how are you going to face the other science guys? How, how are you going to face yourself? Oh! That was fun. So who's hungry?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am. Let me just get my coat.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, all right. It was an accident, I swear, all right. I was putting on my jacket, and the thing, and the lamp, and it broke.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, please, Monica. You've always hated my lamp, and then, all of a sudden, it's just magically broken?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, tell her!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Neat. I'm gonna die alone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, you win.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler, you're not gonna die alone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Janice was my safety net, ok? And now I have to get a snake.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh huh. Why is that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y=know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. \"Run away from Crazy Snake Man,\" they'll shout!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You have got to get over this. You're not gonna end up alone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Of course I am. I reject anyone who's crazy enough to actually go out with me, and then I bitch about the fact that there aren't any great women out there.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler, you have just described virtually every man that we have ever gone out with.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You are not a freak. You're a guy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She's right. She's right. You are no different than the rest of them.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wait a minute, wait a minute. Yes he is. You are totally different.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In a bad way?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimate with someone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. You're not gonna end up alone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You made it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You're there!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You are ready to make a commitment!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whoa! Don't know about that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What you got there? Something else that's not yours that you can break?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's fine.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, uh, you can't recycle yearbooks, can you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'll take that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You want his yearbook?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, yeah. Some people said some nice things about him. I think somebody should have it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's really not that big!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Takin' that with you, huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You comin'?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, jus' second. Good-bye Mr. Heckles. We'll try to keep it down.", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Sure. (My god, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. My head must look like a golf ball at work. All right, don't get hung up on it, quick, quick, list five things you like about her", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "Man, I sure miss Julie.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Spanish midgets. Spanish midgets wrestling. Julie. Ok, yes, I see how you got there. (phone rings)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You ever figure out what that thing's for?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, see, I'm trying this new screening thing. You know, I figure if I'm always answering the phone, people'll think I don't have a life. My god, Rodrigo never gets pinned.", "role": "user" } ]
[ { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" } ]
[ { "content": "Bob here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) What've you been up to?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "And bus.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "The screaming guy?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You gotta hear this story.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "200 at least.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "And the chicken pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "This is amazing. I mean, how, how did this happen?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "But we haven't seen each other since then. Well I land in China, guess who's in charge of the dig.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Julie! Julie, isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Julie) It's an expression.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, we just wanted to say a quick hi, and then we're gonna go see the baby.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, it's really 6", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, listen, don't tell us what's gonna happen though, 'cause I like to be surprised.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Bye. (She closes the door and everyone tries to sympathize with her.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, Rach, can I get some coffee?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, sure.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, Rach, can I get...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Did you talk to him?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not yet.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Then, no.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know, I know I was, but there was always this little voice inside that kept saying it's never gonna happen, move on. You know whose voice that was?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "God?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It was you, pal.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, maybe it was God, doing me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, you were right. She looks at me and sees a friend, that's all. But then I met Julie, and I don't know, we're havin' a great time. And I have to say, I never would've gone for it with her if it hadn't been for you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, you owe me one, big guy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(To Ross) Here's your lemonade.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I didn't order lemonade.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh. Well then, you better go take that back because they're gonna charge you for that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "But...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Go-go-go-go, come on! (Ross goes over to the counte) (to Chandler) So uh, what did you find out?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "He said...he said, he said that they're having a great time. I'm sorry. But, the silver lining, if you wanna see it, is that he made the decision all by himself! Without any outside help whatsoever.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How is that the silver lining?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You have to really wanna see it.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ironically, these are the guys who were picked last in gym.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Pheebes, you know what I'm thinking?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, ok. How, it's been so long since you've had sex, you're wondering if they've changed it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, although now that's what I'm thinking.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "All right, so what were you thinking?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ohh! No.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Why not?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Because, I'm just, I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No you're not.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(answering the phone) Hello? Oh, hi. Yeah, hold on a second. Ross, it's Julie, for you. (Throws him the phone.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) Hello? Hi.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hi. Anybody know a good tailor?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Needs some clothes altered?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, no, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Why don't you go see Frankie? My family's been goin' to him forever. He did my first suit when I was 15. No wait, 16. No, 'scuse me, 15. (still confused) All right, when was 1990?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. You have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits down next to Rachel) Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (Doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She didn't hang up either!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel! I'll just call her back.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(calls Julie back) Hi? Sorry, we got disconnected... (Walks away.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Monica) Ok, ok, ok. How did this happen to me? How did this happen to me? A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. Ross was just Ross, just this guy. Now he's Rrrooossss, oh, this really great guy that I can't have.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know you did. I'm just gonna deal with it, I'm just gonna deal with it. (Ross comes by, smoching with Julie on the phone.) I gotta get out of here. (Exits)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, I don't care what you guys say, something's bothering her.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Chandler) You know, I think I was sixteen.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Phoebe) Please, just a little bit off the back.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm still on \"no.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(poking her head in from her bedroom) Uh, morning. Do you guys think you could close your eyes for just a sec?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No-no-no-no-no, (grabs his pants) I'm not fallin' for that again.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What's goin' on?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I sorta did a stupid thing last night.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What stupid thing did you do?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ewww! (Gets up and walks away.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ok, Paulo, why don't you just go get dressed, and then you be on your way, ok, bye-bye. (Paulo goes into his room.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rachel, how did this happen?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know, I just kinda ran into him last night.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Where?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "At his apartment. Is this juice?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whoa, whoa. And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh God, I know I'm a pathetic loser.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Honey, you're not pathetic, you're sad.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "People do stupid things when they're upset.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "My god, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't...(Everyone looks at her), but this is about your horrible mistake.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hi. Sorry we're late but we werewell, there was touching.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, Paulo. What are you doing here?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Rachel) So, uh, he's back.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, not a problem.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Good! I'm glad it's not a problem.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Paulo) Ok, you're gonna have to not touch my ass.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, in spite of the yummy bagels and palpable tension, I've got pants that need to be altered.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, Chandler, when you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. He'll know what it means.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Are you sure he's gonna be able to crack that code?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Phoebe) You know it's funny, the last time Paulo was here, my hair was so much shorter and cuter.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I promise.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right. (Talking to Monica's hair.) Now some of you are gonna get cut, and some of you aren't. But I promise none of you are gonna feel a thing.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "All right, that's it, I quit.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What? I didn't say anything.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How who wears it?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Demi Moore.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Demi Moore is not a he.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's Dudley Moore. I said I wanted it like Demi Moore.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh. Oh!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh my God!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh my God! I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Which one's Demi Moore?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "She's the actress that was in Disclosure, Indecent Proposal, Ghost!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, she's got gorgeous hair.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I know!", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "At least as long as I have the pants.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "How is she?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How's the hair?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm not gonna lie to you, Ross, it doesn't look good. I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Can we see her?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Your hair looks too good, I think it would upset her. Ross, why don't you come on in.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah. (Gets up, but then pauses when he realizes what that meant.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "How're you doing?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm okay.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ooh, that bad, huh?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. It's one of my gifts.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "When I saw him get off that plane with her, I really thought I hit rock bottom. But today, it's like there's rock bottom, 50 feet of crap, then me.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You gotta tell Ross how you feel.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on. How can I just tell him? What about Julie?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. Ross has been in love with you for like 10 years.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know, I don't know.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, Rach, Rach! I've been with my share of women. In fact, I've been with like a lot of people's share of women. The point is, I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering, angry) Yo, paisan! Can I talk to you for a sec? (Pause) Your tailor is a very bad man!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Frankie? What're you talking about?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering from the bedroom) Hey, what's goin' on? (Pats Chandler on the shoulder which causes him to jump.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Joey's tailor...took advantage of me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No way. I've been going to the guy for 12 years.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Cupping.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That's how they do pants! First they go up one side, they move it over, then they go up the other side, they move it back, and then they do the rear. (Chandler and Ross stare at him) What? Ross, Ross, would you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes, yes it is. In prison! Whatsa matter with you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? That's not? (Realizes) Oh my God.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Even Mary Tyler Moore would've been better.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Thank you. My hair is very amused.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on, Monica, things could be worse. You could get caught between the moon and New York City. I know it's crazy, but it's true.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(to Chandler and Ross) Thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, I gotta go. Bye. Bye, Rach.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(sticking her head in from the balcony) Wait, are you leaving?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, that's kinda what I meant by \"bye!\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, can I talk to you for a sec?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay. (goes out onto the balcony)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, when the doctor does that hernia test...", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That's ok.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What's goin' on?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, first of all, Paulo and I are not back together. It was just a stupid thing I did, and if I could go back in time and do it again, well, I wouldn't. Um, second of all (Ross is laughing), what?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No. No-no-no-no.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, then, I think, I think the guy is scum. I hate him. I mean I actuallyI-I physically hate him. I always have. You are way too good to be with a guy like that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you, and who gets how funny and sweet and amazing, and adorable, and sexy you are, you know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking \"Oh my god, I'm with Rachel\". You know, someone who makes you feel good, the way I am with Julie. (Rachel has moved closer, but hearing that she starts to back up.) Was there a second of all?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No, I think that was the whole all.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Okay. Okay. (They hug.) Okay.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I swear to god, Dad. That's not how they measure pants.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh yeah! Oh, I can do that.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You wanna do it right now?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Rachel) Ok, I just wanna be really sure this time. Andie McDowell's the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "No. No no no no no. That's Rodney McDowell. Andie McDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, yeah. Ok, thank you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You're welcome.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(entering from her bedroom carrying a present) Ok, these were unbelievably expensive, and I know he's gonna grow out of them in like, 20 minutes, but I couldn't resist. (There a little pair of Nike shoes.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, look at these! Hey, Ben. Just do it. (Ben starts to cry) Oh my God, oh, ok, was that too much pressure for him?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You know, it's... (sees the feeding taking place next to him) something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back. (Goes into the kitchen)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(joins him) I gotta get one, too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(following them into the kitchen) What are you guys doing?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We're just hanging out by the spoons. Ladle?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, we know, but there's a baby suckin' on it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Carol?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Carol? I was just wondering if Joey could ask you a question about breast-feeding?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Uh, does it hurt?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Chandler?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "So, uh, how often can you do it?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ok, I got one, I got one. Uh, if he blows into one, does the other one get bigger?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, I forget which ones.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(to Julie) Thank you. (under her breath to Chandler) What a bitch.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I can't, I have to take my grandmother to the vet.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, um, I'll go with you.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(enters) Hi, honey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, sweetums.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hello to the rest.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Monica what're you doin'? You can't go shopping with her? What about Rachel?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's gonna be a problem, isn't it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on, you're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie? That's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "But I'm...", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(to Monica) So, uh, Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, uh, it's actually not that big a deal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You're welcome.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Woof, woof.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(A guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (Another guy walks by) Bijan for men? (An attractive woman walks by.) Hey Annabelle.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Who?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "What's he doin' in my section?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? (To the Hombre Man) Hey, how ya doin'?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah. Bijan for men?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We were shopping, and we had lunch.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, all right. What did I have?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You had a salad.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, no wonder I don't feel full.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(entering) Hey, guys, what's up.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I went shopping with Monica all day, and I had a salad.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Good, Pheebs. What'd you buy?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Um, we went shopping for um, for, fur.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You went shopping for fur?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, and then I realized I'm against that, and uh, so then we bought some, (sees Monica pointing at her chest) uh, boobs.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You bought boobs?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(Monica is yanking on her bra strap) Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(to a guy) Bijan for men? (to a guy) Bijan for men? (To a woman) Bijan for... (Sees it's a woman and stops.) (To Annabelle who walks up.) Hey, Annabelle, Uh, listen, I was wondering if maybe after work you and I could go maybe grab a cup of coffee.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(To a co-worker) Hey, it's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. (A customer walks by.) Bijan for men? (The customer ignores him, and Joey starts to chase him) Bijan for men?!", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Carol, we've been through this before, ok? We have a good time. We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, this is so cute.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "My mommies love me. That's clever.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju(Sees Rachel is watching)Hi, Jew! (Walks into the kitchen.) (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens) Ok. (Listens) Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye. (Hangs up.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Did you just say Hi, Jew?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes. Uh, yes, I did. That was my friend, Eddie Moskowitz. Yeah, he likes it. Reaffirms his faith.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Ben, dinner!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thanks Aunt Pheebs. Hey, you didn't microwave that, did you, because it's breast milk, and you're not supposed to do that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Duh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok. (Squirts some on her wrist and tastes it.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What did you just do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I licked my arm, what?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's breast milk.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What is the big deal? (Tastes the breast milk.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What did you just do?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, would people stop drinking the breast milk?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You won't even taste it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not even if you just pretend that it's milk?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, where is everybody?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "They took Ben to the park. Where've you been?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just out. Had some lunch, just me, little quality time with me. Thanks for your jacket.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, no problem. You can borrow it, by the way. (Puts her hand in the pocket) Here are your keys, hon. (She takes the keys out, sets them on the counter, and notices she also grabbed a receipt.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Okay.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Mon, if uh you were at lunch alone, how come it cost you uh 53 dollars?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know what probably happened? Someone musta stolen my credit card.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That is an excellent excellent question. That is excellent.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Monica, what is with you? Who'd you have lunch with?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Judy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Who?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Julie.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Jody!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You were with Julie?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, when it started I was just trying to be nice to her because she was my brother's girlfriend. And then, one thing led to another and, before I knew it, we were...shopping.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh. Oh my God.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Honey, wait. We only did it once. It didn't mean anything to me.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yeah, right. Sure!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, please, you wanted to get caught. (Waves the receipt)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "That is not true!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, Monica. I just have to know one thing. Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? (Monica looks away.) Oh! Ok, ok, ok, I just really, uh, I just really need to not be with you right now. (Exits.)", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(on the phone) Hi, who's this? (Listens) Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. (Listens) Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. (Listens) Joanne, it's not as simple as all that, ok? (Listens) No, I don't care what Steve thinks. (Listens) Hi, Steve.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, I tasted Ben's milk, and Ross freaked out.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I did not freak out.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Because it's breast milk. It's gross.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Of course the packaging does appeal to grown-ups and kids alike.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(jumping away) That would be no.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Come on. It doesn't taste bad.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, it's kinda sweet, sorta like, uh...", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Exactly.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(staring at Susan) You've tasted it? You've tasted it.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, you've tasted it.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "(he rolls up his sleeve) Gimme the bottle. (Joey hands him the bottle and Ross squirts some on his arm.) Gimme the towel. (Joey gives him the towel and he wipes it off.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Howdy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(sitting on the otherside of the counter from Chandler) Gimme a box a juice. Well, they switched me over to Hombre.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Or maybe it's because this guy's doing so good they wanna put more people on it. (Chandler pours some juice in a glass.) You should see this guy, Chandler, he goes through two bottles a day.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I know, but, I was the best, you know? I liked being the best. (He downs the glass of juice in one swig.) I don't know. Maybe I should just get outta the game. They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(pours more and slides the refill to Joey) All right, say you do that. You know sooner or later somebody's gonna come along that slices a better cheddar. And then where're you gonna run?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah I guess you're right.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm gonna do it. (He downs the juice in one swig again.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right. Now go see Miss Kitty and she'll fix you up with a nice hooker.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "I don't know what else to say.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well that works out good, because I'm not listening.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I feel terrible, I really do.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, I'm sorry, did my back hurt your knife?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Rachel, (they go back inside) say that I'm friends with her, we spend some time together. Is that so terrible?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's that terrible?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually (starting to cry), but now she's actually stealing you.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, (starting to cry) you're my...We're, we're...Oh, I love you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I love you too. (They hug.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Look, I know that you're in a place right now where you really need to hate Julie's guts, but she didn't do anything wrong. I mean, she was just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. I really think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her. Would you just give that a chance, for me?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(crying) I'd do anything for you, you know that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "(crying) I'd do anything for you. (They hug again.)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wait, wait, wait, wait! (Runs over and joins in on the hug again.)", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Mornin'. (The Hombre man ignores him) I said, mornin'.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, I'm ready.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "These new kids, they never last. Sooner or later, they all...stop lastin'. Listen, uh, what do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "So. I just thought the two of us should hang out for a bit. I mean, you know, we've never really talked. I guess you'd know that, being one of the two of us, though, right?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Really? Me?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, you're not totally paranoid.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Yeah, that'd be great. I'd love it.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "All right, Julie.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Bye. (After Julie exits.) What a manipulative bitch.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "(with a mouthful) That's not bad.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So how was Joan?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I broke up with her.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "They were huge. When she sneezed, bats flew out of them.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Come on, they were not that huge.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'm tellin' you, she leaned back, I could see her brain.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How many perfectly fine women are you gonna reject over the most superficial insignificant things?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hold it hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. When I first moved to the city, I went out a couple of times with this girl, really hot, great kisser, but she had the biggest Adam's apple. It made me nuts.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You or me?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I got it. Uh, Joey, women don't have Adam's apples.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You guys are messin' with me, right?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "That was a good one. For a second there, I was like, \"whoa.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You name one woman that you broke up with for a real reason.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Maureen Rosilla.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Not hating Yanni is not a real reason.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hello, Mr. Heckles.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "We're not doing anything.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "You don't have birds.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ok, Mr. Heckles, we'll try to keep it down.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "All right, bye-bye.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, Janice. Janice. You gotta give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "We'll give you Janice.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I miss Janice though. \"Hello, Chandler Bing.\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "\"Oh, my, god.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "\"Oh, Chandler, now, now, that's it. There, faster!\"", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Stop with the broom, we're not making noise.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "We won. We won!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Mr. Heckles.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How did this happen?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "That's terrible.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ok, it's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. Go into the light, Mr. Heckles!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, Phoebe.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. That's fine. Go ahead and scoff. You know, there're a lot of things that I don't believe in, but that doesn't mean they're not true.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Such as?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Like crop circles, or the Bermuda triangle, or evolution?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Nah. Not really.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You don't believe in evolution?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I don't know, it's just, you know...monkeys, Darwin, you know, it's a, it's a nice story, I just think it's a little too easy.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Too easy? Too...The process of every living thing on this planet evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms, too easy?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I just don't buy it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh, excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. Evolution is scientific fact, like, like, like the air we breathe, like gravity.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, don't get me started on gravity.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You uh, you don't believe in gravity?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it, you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Uh-Oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What can we do for you?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Well, what about his family?", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Ok, so let's talk money.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "I can't believe that this whole time we thought he hated us. I mean, isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life, without even knowing it?...Would you look at this dump? He hated us. This is his final revenge!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Have you ever seen so much crap?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Check this out. Can I have this?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "How can you not believe in evolution?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Just don't. Look at this funky shirt!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Pheebs, I have studied evolution my entire adult life. Ok, I can tell you, we have collected fossils from all over the world that actually show the evolution of different species, ok? You can literally see them evolving through time.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Really? You can actually see it?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You bet. In the U.S., China, Africa, all over.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "See, I didn't know that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, there you go.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Huh. So now, the real question is, who put those fossils there, and why?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, look at this. \"My Big Book of Grievances.\"", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey, there's me! April 17th. Excessive noise. Italian guy comes homes with a date. Hey Chandler, look, you're in here too.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "April 18th, excessive noise. Italian guy's gay roommate comes home with the dry-cleaning. Well that's excellent.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monica, Monica, look at this lamp. Is this tacky or what? We have to have this.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Rache, I think we have enough regular lamps.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What? Come on, it's not like I'm asking for this girly clock or anything, which, by the way, I also think is very cool.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "It doesn't go with any of my stuff.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, what about my stuff?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You don't have any stuff.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You still think of it as your apartment, don't you?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes you do. You think of it as your apartment, and I'm just somebody who rents a room.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Mmmmm.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, while you \"mmm\" on it for awhile, I'm gonna go find a place for my new lamp.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, Pheebs. See how I'm making these little toys move? Opposable thumbs. Without evolution, how do you explain opposable thumbs?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Please tell me you're joking.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look, can't we just say that you believe in something, and I don't.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, no, Pheebs, we can't, ok, because--", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Is there blood coming out of my ears?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Check it out, check it out. Heckles' high school yearbook.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wow, he looks so normal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "He's even kind of cute.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "\"Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Funniest? Heckles?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's what it says.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Wow, Heckles was voted class clown, and so was I. He was right. Would you listen to that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I'd call that excessive.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Whoa!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Heckles played clarinet in band, and I played clarinet. And he was in the scale modeler's club, and I was, well, there was no club, but I sure thought they were cool.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "So, you were both dorks. Big deal.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Have you been here all night?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Look at this. Pictures of all the women that Heckles went out with. Look what he wrote on them. Vivian, too tall. Madge, big gums. Too loud, too smart, makes noise when she eats. This is, this is me. This is what I do. I'm gonna end up alone, just like he did.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, Heckles was a nut case.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Our trains are on the same track, ok? Yeah, sure, I'm coming up 30 years behind him, but the stops are all the same. Bitter Town. Aloneville. Hermit Junction.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "All right, you know what we gotta do? We gotta get you outta here. Come on, I'll buy you breakfast, let's go.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What if I never find someone? Or worse, what if I've found her, but I dumped her because she pronounced it \"supposably\"?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, come on, you're gonna find somebody.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "How do you know that? How?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I don't know, I'm just tryin' to help you out.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You'll see, you guys are all gonna go off and get married, and I'm gonna end up alone. Will you promise me something? When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Well, I don't know. I don't know what we're gonna be doin'. I mean, what if we're at her folks' place?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, I understand.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You can come over and watch the Super Bowl. Every year, all right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You know what? I'm not gonna end up like this. I'll see you man.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Supposably. Supposably. Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) Hi, it's me.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Janice? You called Janice?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes, Janice. Why is that so difficult for you to comprehend?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You remember Janice, right?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yes. She was smart, she was pretty, and she honestly cared about me. Janice is my last chance to have somebody.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Oh, my, god!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Geez, look how fat she got.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Janice, you're--", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Is it--?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Congratulations.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "You couldn't have told me about this on the phone?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Hey, Rache. You know what we haven't played in a while?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hide the Lamp.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Monica, let it go.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Did you know I was allergic to shellfish?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Well, then, you'll just have to eat the other lamps.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Uh-oh. It's Scary Scientist Man.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, Phoebe, this is it. In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. A briefcase of facts, if you will. Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, ok, I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's the only possibility, Phoebe.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "There might be, a teeny, tiny, possibility.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "I can't believe you caved.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You just abandoned your whole belief system. I mean, before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. How, how, how are you going to go into work tomorrow? How, how are you going to face the other science guys? How, how are you going to face yourself? Oh! That was fun. So who's hungry?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I am. Let me just get my coat.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, all right. It was an accident, I swear, all right. I was putting on my jacket, and the thing, and the lamp, and it broke.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, please, Monica. You've always hated my lamp, and then, all of a sudden, it's just magically broken?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Phoebe, tell her!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Ok, I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket, but I uh want to believe you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Neat. I'm gonna die alone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Ok, you win.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler, you're not gonna die alone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Janice was my safety net, ok? And now I have to get a snake.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Uh huh. Why is that?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing, you know, a hook, like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. So I figure I'll be Crazy Man with a Snake, y=know. Crazy Snake Man. And I'll get more snakes, call them my babies, kids will walk past my place, they will run. \"Run away from Crazy Snake Man,\" they'll shout!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You have got to get over this. You're not gonna end up alone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Of course I am. I reject anyone who's crazy enough to actually go out with me, and then I bitch about the fact that there aren't any great women out there.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Chandler, you have just described virtually every man that we have ever gone out with.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You are not a freak. You're a guy.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "She's right. She's right. You are no different than the rest of them.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Wait a minute, wait a minute. Yes he is. You are totally different.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "In a bad way?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, honey, in a wonderful way. You know what you want now. Most guys don't even have a clue. You are ready to take risks, you are ready to be vulnerable, and intimate with someone.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah. You're not gonna end up alone.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Chandler, you called Janice! That's how much you wanted to be with someone!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You made it!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You're there!", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You are ready to make a commitment!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Whoa! Don't know about that.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "What you got there? Something else that's not yours that you can break?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No. Um, I know you like this, and I want you to have it. I think it'll look good in our apartment.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Thank you.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "That's fine.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Hey, uh, you can't recycle yearbooks, can you?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "I'll take that.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You want his yearbook?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, yeah. Some people said some nice things about him. I think somebody should have it.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Oh, gosh, this is so weird. I mean, his whole life was in this apartment, and now it's gone. You know, I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments, for Mr. Heckles. I mean, he was kind of a pain, he was, but, he was a person. You're all going to hell.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "It's really not that big!", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Takin' that with you, huh?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Oh, yeah.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "You comin'?", "role": "user" }, { "content": "Yeah, jus' second. Good-bye Mr. Heckles. We'll try to keep it down.", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Sure. (My god, that's a big head! It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. My head must look like a golf ball at work. All right, don't get hung up on it, quick, quick, list five things you like about her", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "Man, I sure miss Julie.", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "Spanish midgets. Spanish midgets wrestling. Julie. Ok, yes, I see how you got there. (phone rings)", "role": "user" }, { "content": "You ever figure out what that thing's for?", "role": "assistant" }, { "content": "No, see, I'm trying this new screening thing. You know, I figure if I'm always answering the phone, people'll think I don't have a life. My god, Rodrigo never gets pinned.", "role": "user" } ]

[ { "content": "What?", "role": "assistant" } ]

[ { "content": "Bob here.", "role": "user" }, { "content": "(on phone) What've you been up to?", "role": "assistant" } ]