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with that being said, i was in the church all the time and-
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at times we were working on finances and stuff like that. so we were trying to make sure we didn't spend money or do anything. and i just-
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once we got married, everything went crazy. it did not work out as planned. and so that year, that first year and a half, i was doing a lot to-
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and smile in people's faces when at home i was angry and mad and just-
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the last year of my marriage, i ended up just doing me because i wanted to do stuff. i wanted to travel, i wanted to-
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i mean, it sucked because i didn't think i was going to be dating again or-
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i had plans, marriage and kids and starting a legacy and just billing things together and-
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meet lots of cool bloggers and kind of start a few things in the beginning. but once i started teaching i just kind of got in the little bubble, little shell and-
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yeah, that's true, because i don't even know how i-
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a year and a half and i have no idea and i'm not waiting for him. and i believe he knows that if i meet someone, i'm disappearing.
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more and more, hardly ever talking on the phone and then-
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so he was like, "oh my gosh, you're so cute", this, that and the other and, "i can't wait to see you again". and so then another week goes by and then i'm just like-
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opinions about certain things that are happening.
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in a relationship, i would definitely want my person-
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and you could be productive doing something else or we haven't talked in a while, then i'm going to need-
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so do you think that with the social media thing and guys being on social media-
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crazy to me and i've had that happen a good four times-
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there's something. i deleted the app years ago and all of a sudden i'm getting messages from this guy on it. and i was like, what?
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it's really weird and it's really creepy, very unsafe. and so i've been working on-
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not blasting where i am all the time or ...
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so i'm a teacher and i love educating. i love helping people be their best selves. so i do want to-
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the job that i had before i moved to minnesota, i was doing workshops and teaching people how to start their own businesses and stuff.
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and i loved it and people got so much out of it and i was like, i really need to get back into this speaking. so that's pretty much where it's going. lots of-
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in-person events, even online as well. but i want to-
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i miss new orleans too because i'm like... i'm so mad i missed the essence festival and-
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we can do some great things. so do you have any events that you have planned coming up that you can tell people about?
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... definitely you guys checked her out. thank you for joining again.
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had to do better for herself and for her family and that's fine. i don't know if that was just really a case of hit dogs hollering or people just wanted to be mad at-
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to make it positive for me.right.i really have no idea. i feel like i would just bury my head in the sand and make all my social media-
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you want to talk about me? i'm going to just keep doing and i'm going to need you all to keep-
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yes can find me on my website, which is www.bougieblackblogger.com
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right. i definitely can understand that, as you know, i have an illness too. so when all of that kind of happened to me, i kind of-
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felt the same way about needing to live your best life daily.
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not take every day for granted. i can do this later because later doesn't always come. you never know what's coming the next day. so-
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that's a great reason to start it. and i know you really-
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and do this blog full-time as well and travel the world. so how do you do all of that?
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so, that kind of helps a little bit as well. but i have two computers in front of me all day long and i'm back and forth because ideas pop in your head, you have to write them down.
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it was really bad and i cut the camera off.
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and it got really, really bad. it was scary for a minute again. so i will do challenges and i have done them because we do them in every summer-
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and we did not stay on the beach-side of belief. we stayed sort of in the mountains or the jungle-
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mound in a tree. and he knocked it down and they all came running out.
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they were small. they weren't like regulatory mics, they were small.
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that for any reason you would never go to again?
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but it just was extremely overrated. i felt like i was visiting somewhere. i did not need to be
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and everything was so terrible and bad. you saw something that was even worse than what you had just saw. it sort of felt like-
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... i was this sort of snooty, uppity person-
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... that even though i'm not that way, it made me feel like i'm here looking at how these people live taking pictures.
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and they are so extremely poor.
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...was older, but whenever you can do it, do it. but that's really good that she's being exposed to the world and stuff like that.
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...there for a reason. not just for instagram picture, try some of the food.
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work with bloggers to promote culinary tourism in their destinations. and so they flew me out and...
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but there weren't a lot of black people over there, but everybody was so nice and it was really, really awesome.
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oh, were both of those places that you traveled to since you started the blog?
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and they was like you always are traveling. you should start a blog. and then i started researching and immediately-
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i said "i'm going to tackle this as if it is a business and not a hobby"
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has your daughter taken any interest in blogging or helping you in any of it?
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... teaching her about social media and all of the aspects. and even i was thinking about putting a-
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they sort of feel like they have to take their kids everywhere they go.right.
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that you need a wait time, that you need to replenish yourself and pour back into yourself so that you can be a better mom to them.
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and go to a surrounding state and stay three or four days.
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feeling like i'm the only one that can be a good provider. i don't feel that way-
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would give anybody who is just starting on their traveling journey?
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and didn't realize there were that many waterfalls in tennessee, a neighboring state.
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we go to arkansas a lot. i love arkansas. it's beautiful. the old mill is the name of the place.
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yes you have all the tips. that is wonderful because now you got me thinking like, ooh, where can i go on the weekends. yeah, since i moved to new orleans, i really need to explore-
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... the city more because i've visited new orleans a bunch of times before i moved here last year.
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but there's still stuff that i haven't seen. so i need to be a tourist in my own new city and then venture out into other parts of louisiana as well.
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and understanding that the power of the words that come out of your mouth sort of dictate what kind of life your have.
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and then i listen to... there's a travel marketing and pr podcast that i listen to and i listen to pro blogger. so most of the... it's a mix between-
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do you have any issues with time management and stuff like that? or are you pretty good with doing what you have to do?
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i really still think i have adult a d h d because it's like i'll be thinking about some-
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but one of my favorite things about her is she has an opinion and she is not afraid.
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to tell you her opinion and especially about
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they wouldn't want. so i just wanted to take a second to talk about struggle love, and if it's worthwhile.
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has the means to take somebody on a $200 date, which in certain parts of the country-
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if you in dc you going out, let's say you're uber in there.
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but you have to know that that is a possibility. you can be dressed regularly. and we know that me-
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and i just try to teach my daughter, yes.
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it's 2018, and there should be an even playing field. but there's not. women are looked differently than men and i'm saying that it's not supposed to be that way.
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girl, yeah, because these children have no place to live or no job.
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is more on the finances and the debt.
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a lot of people in the space of the debt-free movement, whether they're-
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are usually partnered, so they're married.
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and then do everything else in your life, and then also account for everything on your own.
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that is part of the reason i started to publicly document.
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one of the people i was able to find was stacy flowers, and it just so happened that she's a single black-
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thank you so much for inviting me. i'm super honored to be here and be recording this.
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... and speaking, i adore the work that i get to do and i'm super excited to be talking to you today.
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thank you so much for joining. so as i mentioned-
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and there aren't many single people there and yet alone, single black women.
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and you start deep breathing instead of like-
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it can definitely throw you off. so-
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anyway, and so it was at the forefront, but also it was just like-
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when i'm emotionally eating and i break the budget that if i fix the emotional problem, then i wouldn't have to worry about fixing the money problem.
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once i made that connection, i was just like, oh, this is a 50 hundred million percent emotional. it is not-
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me being aware enough to know that you're emotionally eating and that's why you're going over your budget is totally different than being like, oh yeah, i ate out.
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but it was emotional because this week this happened and you got to get a handle on this dysfunctional relationship because it impacts your budget this way. blew my whole entire month.
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do make bigger impacts later if i can't make small impacts now.exactly.
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oh, it really got me focusing on and then it just started rolling out of anywhere. i was just like, i don't even know how i'm putting this much money-
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i need to baby step my way, even back up financially. and so when i was first-
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