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actual meeting. because it's like sacrifice. if in any relationship you have to know what your partner is willing to sacrifice for you-
X
4.8
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Female
and not on some g shit like "i'll sell my house to you, girl."
N
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3.6
3.6
471
Female
but just some simple shit. like you trying to enjoy your life, you have to make sure that your partner is trying to enjoy their life too. it's compatibility. all your testing is compa-
U
5.4
5.2
4.4
471
Female
i think something that just came up a lot too is-
X
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471
Female
that's true. that is big. this is the big interracial co-op couple. i'm all about the swirl, jumping the swirl.
H
5
5.2
5
471
Female
my guy friends would be like, "how's your dad going to take this?" like, "how's your family going to feel about this?" like, "what's going to happen when they meet him, if you ever bring him home," like "what is this going to look like?"
F
4.6
4
4.4
471
Female
i mean, i thought about it, but i've never really been like, "yeah, what is this actually going to look like," until i had to have that conversation with my dad.
H
3.8
4.2
3.8
471
Female
pocket of maybe salvadorian, hondurans, and guatemalans. and, that is it. that is what you see in my part of la.
C
4.2
3.6
4.4
471
Female
so bringing that up to my dad...
X
5.2
4.8
4.6
471
Female
then, just having to bring it up, like "oh"-
X
3.4
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3.6
471
Female
i'm talking to someone may or may not go anywhere, but i wanted to see how you feel about the fact that he's not mexican, that he's not a latino, that he's black.
N
4
4
4.2
471
Female
i think it was the answer that i got from my dad that one, told me that i can do this-
X
4.6
4.6
4.4
471
Female
when he was like, there's assholes of every race. so as long as you know the person treats you right-
U
4.4
4.4
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Female
and i know i've raised you so that you know how you should and shouldn't be treated. i feel like you can make this decision for yourself.
U
3
3.6
3.6
471
Female
again, also drawn from his own experience, my stepmom is filipino.
N
4.8
4.8
4.6
471
Female
our family got a lot of heat sometimes. even from family, because she wasn't-
S
3
2.8
3.8
471
Female
pretty much gave me his blessing and didn't see that as an issue. more was just kind of like-
S
3.6
3.2
4.2
471
Female
... within my own family, we were seeing how [inaudible 00:02:55] relationships have played out or helped certain people get treated, because of certain things-
N
4.285714
3.571429
4
471
Female
and i mean, you can make it as specific as possible because you are a latina woman. so if it's specifically-
H
4.4
5
4.4
471
Female
what would your advice be? for anybody listening out there who might be going through-
X
3.6
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471
Female
i mentioned this to you but both my brothers went through breakups after i did.yeah.and-
S
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Female
again, like they reach out to me and stuff and specifically my stepbrother who...
N
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3
471
Female
i didn't start really getting close to until around me leaving home and me coming back.
X
3
3.4
3.8
471
Female
like, how are you doing now? what does this look like for you? i didn't feel like i was a person to ask that question to. not just because i am his older sister-
S
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Female
like not feeling as comfortable opening up or certain topics not being able to have conversations.
H
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Female
about or being ready just because i never had to do it before. so being pushed to that...
X
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Female
... was really trying for me, but i think just-
S
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Female
to do that, i think, is what needs to happen first. you need to be able to have some sort of relationship with yourself and be comfortable-
X
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471
Female
... with certain aspects before you try and do that with another person-
N
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Female
which, i think, is something i was trying to get my brothers to understand. it's like you have to be in a certain place for yourself first in order to be able to do that for another person or-
X
3.4
3.2
3.4
471
Female
when he'll ask me, "why is it that she has-”
S
4.4
4
4.4
471
Female
no trouble talking to guys or something and i feel like i'm the one that's over here hurting. what do i do-situation? and i think it just goes back to the time piece, not rushing-
S
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471
Female
through the process. you're trying to rush through the process because people expect you to be doing something according to a certain timeline.
X
5
5.2
5
471
Female
and being okay with that? being able to stand by yourself. frankie always tells him all the time, he's like, "set your boundaries and stick to them."
H
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471
Female
he has the most interesting role, because he is close friends with us both, but had to deal with us breaking up with each other at the same-
C
6
4
5.6
451
Male
setting your boundaries and sticking to them.
S
3.6
4
3.6
471
Female
not rushing through it, because you are expected to be doing something. if you are not ready-
N
3.2
4
3.6
471
Female
... that is what it is. i think it takes a strong personality to be able to do that for yourself.
H
4.9
5.1
4.9
471
Female
that's kind of hard for people to do, which again, goes back to the growth piece.
X
3.2
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3
471
Female
first of all, i think-
N
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3.8
4.8
451
Male
or just end it. if you are uncertain about it, you have to have that conversation or just end it. if you are willing to have that conversation with somebody-
X
4.2
3.2
4.2
471
Female
right, i think that's the big thing. and if you do everything out of the pureness of your heart, you are really doing this-
X
5.2
5
5
471
Female
anything you do, regardless if that's relationships, your motives in life, your ambitions, if anything you do out the purity of your heart-
X
5.6
4.6
5
471
Female
... you will be rewarded wholeheartedly-
N
3.6
4.2
3.4
451
Male
what you're bringing in to the table and what you're really trying to get out of the relationship as well-
X
5.2
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5.2
471
Female
i mean, i think it's very easy to just say, "i like you," "i like you too," "let's do this." and it's not how it was. before me and jess were even toge-
X
4
4.2
4.2
471
Female
together, before we were officially together, we were together for eight months prior to the two years.
N
4.8
3.8
3.4
471
Female
yeah.right? i think that's a strong-
H
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Female
... get to know somebody before you're jumping into something-
N
3.4
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4.4
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Male
that is going to be a lot deeper than you might be ready for, because you have to know how to deal with it.
N
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4
451
Male
i am kathy beecham and i have been coming to crossroads. my husband pete and-
H
5
5
4.818182
350
Female
so, that's how we were when we came to crossroads.
N
4.2
4
4.8
1259
Female
because he healed people.
N
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1259
Female
... i.not too long ago, my husband pete [mattingly 00:04:09]-
N
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161
Female
... he hated if anybody called him beecham. it was pete [mattingly 00:04:14]. he-
N
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4
350
Female
he had symptoms that weren't real severe and he would go to the doctors, and they just dismiss it and say "you're just getting old. don't worry about it."
N
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3
3.2
350
Female
i mean, his whole body was clean, but they found a-
F
4.4
3.4
4.6
350
Female
they also don't know what causes brain tumors, but there was no cure for this, so his prognosis was really bad.
S
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2.4
4.8
350
Female
i remember at one point, the doc said to pete, "you know, if you didn't have bad luck-
N
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3.8
4.4
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Female
... and, that he is here today, and we're happily together. but, that is not my story to tell, actually. pete died 25 months after he was diagnosed-
S
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Female
... why i would be the one talking about jesus as the healer-
N
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Female
and she actually got a death sentence similar to pete's.
N
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4.6
350
Female
so when i got to crossroads, and here were these guys who were fairly smart-
N
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350
Female
... and i'll just see if i can still get god's message-
H
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Female
so i go up on the roof, tear off all the dirt, drop jesus down so he could be healed.
N
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5.6
350
Female
i mean, they are just like crushing him, trying to touch him to get healed, but just coming at him. and-
H
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4.2
4.8
350
Female
... he has to go in a boat to get some distance from the crowds in order to be able to teach.
X
4.4
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Female
i mean, they don't really have any value in themselves. it's really what they point to that's important.
N
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3.2
5.2
161
Female
he just wanted to respond to them, meet their needs.
O
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Female
if any of you are suffering right now or are ill right now-
X
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3
4.4
350
Female
... that's why everyone wanted to touch him. he got very close. so we know that.
X
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Female
the second thing we know from jesus's miracle stories is that we know he identified the source-
N
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4
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161
Female
... of illness, disease, and even death. and luke actually gives us this account. look at this. he says, "on sabbath, jesus was teaching in one of the synagogues and a woman was there-
U
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5.2
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Female
... who had been crippled by a spirit for 18 years."
H
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Female
so come and be healed on those days. don't come on the sabbath. and jesus said, "you hypocrites. don't each of you on the sabbath, untie your donkey from the stall and lead it for water?"
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Female
"then should not this woman, a daughter of abraham," meaning one of the family-
U
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Female
... the source of illness, disease, and death. it's satan, it's evil. it's part of the kingdom of darkness. it is not part of my world.
A
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2.7
5.5
350
Female
work through that whole issue of evil. he, in that book-
X
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Female
i mean, jesus taught his audience that this infirmity-
N
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350
Female
... "the source of your illness and disease is not me." it comes from the kingdom of darkness. it's from satan and it's evil.
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2
4.6
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Female
"no matter what your circumstances are, trust me." trust me and you will be set free in a way that you probably didn't expect.
H
5.818182
5.636364
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161
Female
that's the so what. the so what is when suffering you encounter suffering in your life, when we encounter disease, illness, death.
X
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3
5.2
350
Female
but, boy, when we had time together, we had a great time. i mean, we did everything together. we did groceries together. we ran errands together. i don't think there was ever a vacation.
H
5.636364
5.727273
5.727273
161
Female
we love being in each other's company. and from a business perspective, we actually coached each other because we both had business backgrounds that we respected and so it was a great bond.
H
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Female
and i was coming in from somewhere. i don't know, it was probably 7:30ish at night.
N
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4
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Female
well, he looks at me and tears start welling up in his eyes.
S
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Female
he said, "they wouldn't let me leave after the test."
X
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Female
"and it could be a brain tumor. it's pretty good size."
X
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Female
i remember i was sitting in the chair next to him and, and-
N
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Female
... tears, burning tears came to my eyes and i just came over to the chair.
X
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Female
and we started an adventure and a journey that, oh my gosh had lots of challenges for pete.
S
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Female
he had two brain surgeries. the first surgery was to get the tumor out and it was successful. 99 percent. he got 99 percent of it out.
H
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5
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350
Female
second surgery was to actually get pete the benefit of a clinical trial.
N
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5
350
Female
it's not the surgery. it's that they come back. so he had to have mris every 30 days. he had radiation for six weeks. toward the end he had chemo.
X
4.833333
2.5
4.583333
350
Female
he had months of physical, occupational, speech therapy because where the tumor was located was near his speech center.
N
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Female
we also got good at charades.
X
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so in the midst of all these physical challenges-
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Female
... god sets pete free.
N
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4.2
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Female
he set him free and he starts working on his list.
A
4.888889
3.777778
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350
Female
pete caught a 35 pound catfish in the ohio river and you would think, he was like the local fishing-
H
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5
5.2
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Female