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talk about her reaction to it and then there's also a student who was raped by someone.
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my question is, how different women,
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Female
victims of rape also inadvertently or survivors of rape also inadvertently walked away because they feel this is a battle i will not win.
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Female
less and less. this is, interestingly, i mean, i'll focus on the south african context, but i was looking, it was a different place yesterday afternoon,
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Female
and i was kind of talking to colleagues, [crosstalk 00:02:13]
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Female
okay are very similar. people will access crisis counseling, [crosstalk 00:02:18]
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Female
on that, because part of what it tells us is that there's something wrong when we say, when we place the burden of believability, [crosstalk 00:02:27]
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Female
because we seeing globally that reporting is decreasing.
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Female
and we have to ask ourselves why, we have to ask ourselves, what is it about going to, accessing the legal, the criminal justice system that people,
X
5.8
4
5.8
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Female
what is it, why is it that fewer and fewer people, fewer and fewer women who we know of are turning to the police and a lot of it has to do with responses and [crosstalk 00:02:56]
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Female
and sex with you of sometimes we suddenly have instances of people being-
A
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Female
in fact, you mentioned the chief justice now, and i think that's why he got a lot of negative response but and yet the negative response was,
N
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Female
he was appointed by jacob zuma rather than his, i don't know what you call it legally, his ruling or his comment.
N
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Female
why would you want to put yourself through that? if you hearing, if you seeing judges being reported and you're watching
C
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Female
what happens to rape complainants in court cases and outside court cases, [crosstalk 00:03:33]
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Female
and based on what. people who don't know zuma or don't know ntini or don't know bobby hewitt or don't know that kind of rapist, [crosstalk 00:03:41]
A
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Female
starter rhyme, who was raping all those little girls, who don't
A
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Female
see the performance every day of... they see what happened
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Female
at least sometimes due to them, they see, they know what is happening and why would you, when you've already been traumatized also then further choose,
A
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Female
if you can avoid it,
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Female
why would you choose to put yourself through further traumatization?
D
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Female
okay. let's go to penny in cape town. hi there. penny.
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Female
good morning. my biggest question i've always wanted to ask every time i hear it. why do men rape children?
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Female
that's a good... i mean, you talk about baby [thabang 00:04:33] in the book.
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Female
men rape children for the same reason they rape women. and i think that's... i think, [crosstalk 00:04:43]
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Female
they rape because they can, they rape because they can get away with it.
D
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Female
you were wearing this or this, what could a baby be wearing, baby thabang-
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Female
in fact, rape is motivated by the same...
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Female
it's only strange to think about babies being raped, because we think about rape as sex. if we don't think about rape a sex, then we can think, people would think about...
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Female
phumla dineo gqola, who has written, a south african nightmare:rape, that the name of the book and she is of course associate professor. no! no.
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Female
i still love him. but what he did was wrong and i'll testify against him.
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3
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Female
and i mean, it's frightening in its strange...
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Female
she works for him. she said she would pay for her school fees.
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Female
i allowed him to continuously rape my daughter for six years and my daughters...people
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Female
through it. but i imagine then if you so depressing that you...switch
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Female
off, what your response is able to be and not able to be when someone you love comes to you and says i've been raped.
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Female
but isn't that what happens that people react exactly like that...you
U
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Female
don't want to know, you don't know what to do. it's depressing. you avoid the person. so there's that secondary victimization.
O
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Female
how do people, how does someone who loves you who's close to you, knowing that you think is too depressing to talk about, come and tell you that they've been raped. they don't.
S
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Female
and when children don't speak out over many years, are we inadvertent bob hewitt?
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Female
can someone say, why do people keep quiet for so long, bill cosby,
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Female
linkedin, between the avoidance that i don't want to hear it. that even the rape victim inadvertently....
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5
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Female
absolutely. but also people, these women were raped are not fools...find
C
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Female
the language to even understand what is happening to you. and if....bill
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Female
cosby, are you kidding me? bill cosby is the world's...dad.
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Female
right? he's the guy we all love to love, okay. when we were growing up, i mean the last few years
H
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Female
he's been so bizarre in terms of one of his hatred.
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Female
what does it mean to say, bill cosby raped you?
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and they'll say, he can have any woman he wants taking us back to rape...
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being a hero is it's about power. it's about positive power.
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why would a powerful man need to rape? he doesn't need to rape.
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Female
if you have the power to do anything you want, you had the power to do anything you want.
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Female
it actually makes perfect sense that powerful, that so many powerful men would rape because it's not about sex.
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Female
it's about power. it's about doing what i want to do and being entitled to everybody and anything, whenever i want.
O
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Female
let's entangle the word power, because in the minds of some people we probably talking about bill cosby because he's powerful financially, he is a brand...
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Female
lebo pule is in a shop in joburg somewhere. and this is probably a feminist situation for many of us..
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Female
and lebo pule then kind of comes up to this man and says in absolute rates,
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Female
i think, oh my god, he's going to beat me up or he might rape me or..
F
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Female
the acts we sometimes have to perform that interrupted.
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Female
because for that young man, it might mean that he has to think twice before he does..
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Female
that example because it, in many ways it offers us hope outside of this hopelessness. so we all think rape happens in isolation, it doesn't happen in isolation, like a society.
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Female
not kind of narrow use of culture as belonging to [inaudible 00:03:53].
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Female
on women's bodies and licking their lips that disgust
D
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Female
no, no, it is power. and then you made to feel crazy for not liking being harassed in public. absolutely,
A
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Female
i think it was the end of innocence, right?
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Female
i think we knew that there were problems with the rainbow nation and that motive and so on that all was not well in
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Female
south africa. but i think very often `we thought about kind of these divisions only in terms of race.
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Female
and i think part of what that showed us, i remember having conversations just before that trial with friends who would say, who would go to different parts of the world.
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Female
and i would say, oh my god, that kind of like blatant misogyny and craziness would never happen in south africa, south african men, no better.
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5.125
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Female
but what was important about that case also was that it played out..because
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Female
i suppose like many of my life i was completely obsessed and it came to absolutely.
U
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5.111111
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Female
so we saw how many more people were willing to defend jacob zuma and go live their lives..
U
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Female
they have jobs and they have responsibilities. to go and be outside that court, the numbers of people..
A
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.. was raped.mmm (affirmative).and in fact, part of what that does is it shows us what happens every day.mm-hmm (affirmative).that is-
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Female
...the rape crisis. right? it may not be rape. it may not be jacob zuma and-
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Female
... to support quazeys' right to speak versus the overwhelming-mmm (affirmative).... support that people offered to jacob zuma without knowing him.
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Female
mmm (affirmative).the kinds of things that he allowed his supporters to say. and i think that it shows us what happens in-
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Female
...rape cases generally, but it also shows us how not serious, how easy it is, the hypocrisy-
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Female
... name. he didn't do that. but we also saw people stand outside the court and say things like, "actually quazey had-
A
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Female
... anything was worth doing in order to defend a man accused of rape. that is part of the reality that we have. that was a kind of a magnified-
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... indicate to people, to men who might want to rape that they will-
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Female
and as [inaudible 00:01:07] says that legally, of course-
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Female
... it could be the enabling of-absolutely.... the abuse.mm-hmm (affirmative).that was meted out.
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Female
and i mean i'm not ashamed to say i believe quazey.
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Female
so do i. so do i.
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with a breakdown of rape myths, perpetrators are monsters who are abusive all the time. you say that's a myth, rape is inappropriate sex.
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that's a myth. rape is not sex, right? and you explain-
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... why didn't you do it why did you do it, as though there's a template for how rape victims must behave. and get the book: a south african nightmare: rape, by professor-
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Female
really high. so excited to be here with you.
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Female
we are going to be doing it. so we'll talk more about, closer to the time that-
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... especially the one out of six women who are victims of intimate partner violence in our country, but it was really provoked for me by a letter that i received. i'm going to read it-
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Female
... i have is that he cannot bring himself to have a decent conversation with me whilst i'm awake, but i'm often awakened by him undressing me already penetrating me. this is so humiliating for me-
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Female
... nevermind, violating. i've spoken to him several times about this. even wrote him letters, but to no avail, it's been happening for years now, before he used to do what he had to do and leave me undressed.
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Female
he used to just turn over and sleep, making me feel as if i was some prostitute. two years back-
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Female
... i downloaded a piece of the saps website on marital rape and lied to him that i filed a complaint. needless to say, he disappeared that weekend because he thought he was going to get arrested.
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Female
he still carries on. no amount of my speaking to him will ever change his ways. just two weeks ago, i wrote him another letter-
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... laying it all out, but he neither responded nor apologized.
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what can i do? this is some sort of marital rape-
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Female
... is it not? i was raped when i was 11 years old-
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Female
... absolutely, especially the one that stands out about how she's not even sure-
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