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6,801 | daddit | Confirmed here: OP is a tool |
6,802 | daddit | ...and an unholy shit-ton of paperwork. |
6,803 | daddit | My cousin is about to graduate from Sussex tech in Delaware. They probably know each other. |
6,804 | daddit | go and kick rocks, peons, you're just rookies |
6,805 | daddit | This frustrates me to no end.... Give a kid a good home. Get them out of the system. |
6,806 | daddit | [Feels, Feels Feels.](http://33.media.tumblr.com/1c63b3ba7349f2a9f2572ed3120e209a/tumblr_mggi8rU2nC1rwcc6bo1_500.gif) |
6,807 | daddit | Oh my more tears. I hope that someday I can give my kids all the stuff you have given yours. Three bedroom house, half acre yard, big dumb dog- all kids need a big dumb dog in their lives. |
6,808 | daddit | Amazing. You have done one hell of a good job. |
6,809 | daddit | No. I graduated from Easton and never went back. I move all over the country because that's what I'm used to. Someday when I have my shit together my husband and I will foster. Of all the places I've lived iliked the shore the most. |
6,810 | daddit | [deleted] |
6,811 | daddit | Just FYI, pick up trucks usually need a special box to fit in the truck, not sure if the subs this person has will have that or not. The good news is the subwoofers themselves are the expensive part, not so much the box. So awesome they're willing to send them! Just wanted to mention it in case you needed to plan for a new box. |
6,812 | daddit | I was worried I was the asshole! This is why I prefer to lurk. |
6,813 | daddit | This vine too! https://vine.co/v/OmT0vvF9JEY |
6,814 | daddit | Remember, after any hard impact, like the one in the video, the helmet needs to be replaced. The helmet shell is designed to crack and deform to absorb the impact and the padding is designed to crush to slow down the skull in an impact. After the impact the shell may appear intact and the padding may appear undamaged, but they will not provide the same protection as they did before the accident. This is about bycicle helmets, but it applies to all protective helmets: http://www.helmets.org/replace.htm This is from the SNELL foundation, and applies to motorcycle helmets, but the same advice, in general, applies to all helmets: http://www.smf.org/helmetfaq#aWhyReplace |
6,815 | daddit | Such an inspiring story, you did a very good thing. |
6,816 | daddit | I imagine more of, floating on the sea awaiting a flaming arrow. |
6,817 | daddit | > an unholy shit-ton of paperwork What a gorgeous turn of phrase. Must use that in a meeting today. |
6,818 | daddit | Here's an album the dog who currently holds that honored role in our family. Regan is a rescue Great Dane. http://imgur.com/a/0UA6a |
6,819 | daddit | Thanks. He's a great kid. |
6,820 | daddit | Well done! |
6,821 | daddit | Looks like his son has some woodworking skills, could he make his own custom box for his truck? |
6,822 | daddit | I wish more assholes were like the two of you ;-) |
6,823 | daddit | JESUS H. CHRIST. Here I am thinking she's wearing a helmet (coming from that last video) and going, "Oh she's got a helmet on it won't be too bad." Then I see hair, okay, she's a girl, she's got hair. Then I see a scrunchie and I don't see a helmet. WHY ISN'T SHE WEARING A HELMET. Then that sound. Ooo. That's the worst. You know someones hurt when they can't even cry out but they make that "uhhgh" sound that comes from deep, deep down in your soul. Ouch. |
6,824 | daddit | His reflexes were admirable. |
6,825 | daddit | Yes, and those would be great subs to put in a small truck. |
6,826 | daddit | > where were |
6,827 | daddit | Dammit it just isn't my day! Second mistake in a few hours. I can't keep using the 'not a native speaker' excuse forever. |
6,828 | daddit | Comment section is locked as it is becoming increasingly hostile. >It's utterly disturbing how many other dads have chimed in and said nothing short of "boys will be boys" and that ops daughter should just suck it up If anyone ever sees a comment resembling this at all you need to report. We try our best to moderate the community but obviously it isn't flawless. Under no circumstances will these responses be allowed in the sub. If you are commenting on hurting a minor for their actions is also not allowed. We have laws for a reason. If anyone disagree with this feel free to message the mods. However, I left it locked not removed becase I do feel the Initial point is valid. |
6,829 | daddit | Just want to add for the dad's out there who are on the fence about having these kinda of discussions with their sons. This isn't just about having conversations about consent and bodily autonomy. It's about the way ego gets wrapped up into sexual behavior. Boys and men attach so much of their self-worth and social acceptance to sex. We need to be talking to our boys about the pressures they feel to be a certain type of man, who might be pressuring them to do things like send dick picks or push a girls boundaries. We need to talk to them about how they handle rejection. It's not good for our BOYS to be living this way. We can keep our sons and daughters safe by helping our boys be better men. |
6,830 | daddit | I have a son and a daughter. They were both taught to value another person's space and rights. My daughter was once "mishandled' by a male student in her 7th grade class.(he grabbed her butt). She proceeded to remove her shoe and beat him until he cried. (He was on the football team). Who was suspended? She was. Was he punished in any way? Only by my daughter. Did I praise her in the meeting with the principal? You betcha! |
6,831 | daddit | 100%. Spot on. What disturbs me is how many dad have a “boys will be boys” mentality and they have daughters of their own. |
6,832 | daddit | I didn’t read every comment from that post, but I have been thinking about it since reading it. We recently dealt with a similar situation in my family, but with my adult sister. I had her back and confronted the guy, also in our extended family through marriage (complicated), and it was intense. It’s caused a lot of ripples in our family dynamic and lots of stress and conflict, but in the end I have no regrets. I have two young daughters, and this incident cemented that action is required in some form no matter what. The girls experience fear and confusion, and just like when a little kid falls, they look to others to figure out how they should react to such a strange situation. I firmly believe we owe it to the women in our life to express our anger for them and make it crystal clear that these things aren’t ok and need to be brought to the light. I don’t know about bringing it up to the school or whatever else was mentioned, but for sure I would make it known to everyone around that kid that we saw your dick pic and it’s a super creep move to send something like that unsolicited. He needs to believe that anything he does in “secret” will be brought into a very bright light for all to see. And our girls need to know that we are here to see things and deal with them accordingly, no matter how awkward or uncomfortable it may be. Not sure what the point of my comment is exactly, but those are the main takeaways from our recent unsolicited dick pic situation |
6,833 | daddit | I agree with everything you said. I have a 1 year old daughter and it scares me to think she might have to deal with this one day. What I still struggle with is to know what the correct course of action would be if I ever find myself in the situation that other Dad is in. I suspect that's where a lot of people are at. I think it's ok to denounce the behaviour categorically while being agnostic about the solution. |
6,834 | daddit | I am step-dad to 4 lads. And 'boys will be boys' is fucking bullshit. Their dad echoes some of these vibes, and I don't tolerate it. 'Boys will be boys' means my daughter and wife should learn to be treated like objects, as if they're not human. Consent, care and respect is something I constantly remind them of. From hugging to personal space to romance. The fact we have to teach our daughters how to look after themselves, rather than focus on teaching our boys to be decent human beings boils my blood. |
6,835 | daddit | I’m a father of a one year old daughter. I agree with you 100%. Thank you for speaking up. |
6,836 | daddit | And kids need to know it’s still considered child porn if they take it themselves and send it to another person their age ETA holy fuck I just went and read the comments and as a mom who was sexually assaulted and who has a daughter AND son I’m really fucking bummed at how some dads are approaching this topic. Fuckkk that’s enough internet today. Some people need to do better for the girls and woman in their life and the world ffs. |
6,837 | daddit | The timing couldn't have been more appropriate, but this is hot on the heels of the conclusion(?) of the Amanda Todd story here in BC, Canada https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-columbia/aydin-coban-amanda-todd-trial-verdict-1.6541210 A monster from the Netherlands started texting with and exploiting sexually explicit material from a preteen girl, and would harass her with it for years, driving her to Suicide. They finally extradited him back to Canada, and he was just convicted for his crimes against her this week. It turns out he had done it to 40 others. It's a tragic story all over, but it highlights how important it is to be involved, and to help your kids to trust you and feel comfortable talking with you about these things. |
6,838 | daddit | It can all be summed up in one sentence: “Teach your sons not to be assholes.” If I ever caught one of my boys doing this, you bet your ass I’m coming down on them like a ton of bricks. It’s 2022 and “men” (and some women) are still pulling out the same old bullshit justifications for rape culture. Pull your head out of your ass. |
6,839 | daddit | I'm very glad that I have boys... But I recognize that while they will likely not be on the receiving end of this type of harassment/assault, I have an even greater responsibility to raise my boys to not only never act this way, but to call out those who do, and support anyone one the victim end of this. |
6,840 | daddit | I think its also important to explain that to boys as well. Explain that they are allowed to feel uncomfortable with someone touching them sexually or in general. Boys need to understand its ok for them to speak out about being uncomfortable and not wanting that and if someone is doing that to them that boys can and should feel comfortable talking to you about that as well. Waaayy too many boys feel like they need to keep that stuff in and that is just not healthy either And I think that lesson would probably help boys and girls learn it doesn't matter what gender you are everyone is allowed to feel uncomfortable and we need to respect our own bodies and feelings as well as other people's bodies and feelings as well. |
6,841 | daddit | My son is 3 and then now we have been focusing on consent. Right now it's as simple as him being allowed to say no to forms of affection from us. Things as simple as hugs can be denied and we just moved on. It's hard sometimes, I had to leave for a couple months for work this last weekend, I wanted to hug my little boy before I left but he said he didn't want hugs so I didn't. I firmly believe that is where it starts. |
6,842 | daddit | I read that post and I was impressed with the thoughtful comments that were provided. Are you saying that that thread was full of boys will be boys comments? If those were there then they were downvoted because I didn’t see them. I thought that post “behaved” quite admirably overall. |
6,843 | daddit | Boys will be boys is like my son trying to jump over our fence off the trampoline. Not assaulting girls. |
6,844 | daddit | Raise your boys to respect women. Teach your kids to respect all people, regardless of race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, disabilities, mental illness, whatever! People are people and everyone deserves respect. |
6,845 | daddit | As a dad of a 9 week old daughter and a man who was raised by a single mother, thank you for speaking up on this matter. My mother taught me to always respect women. I never had a father figure in my life. So I surrounded myself with great friends and let their dads somewhat teach me how to be a man. The army also helped develop me into a well disciplined man when I was 18. But that was something my mother always preached to me was to be respectful to women all they way up untill her last breath. And I have carried that with me all my life. And as it has already been said “boys will be boys” is bs and it shouldn’t be an excuse to let boys do inappropriate things like this because that’s what they do. |
6,846 | daddit | I support this 100%. Perfectly said. |
6,847 | daddit | YES YES YES!!! Not only is it sexual harassment and risky behavior, it’s illegal in some states. I mentioned on the other post that I used to bring in speakers for our cybersecurity group- the favorite was the secret service with the FBI and CISA, statistics show that approximately 80% of explicit photos shared electronically are shared elsewhere. Please talk to your kids about never sending nudes and telling a trusted adult if they receive one; it’s just not worth the risk. Teenagers will explore their sexuality and it is a normal part of development, but they need to know the risks. Explain to your kids that the people they trust and consider friends they may never speak to again after school is over. Most online activity lives forever on a server somewhere. |
6,848 | daddit | Why shouldn’t he be held accountable for his actions? |
6,849 | daddit | I saw your comment in that post and your advice was go to the police. Now, I also have a lite girl and the thought of her being sexually harassed, which she certainly will at some point in her life, also boils my blood. Many boys and men are a direct threat to my little girl and it worries me to my core. However, If I had a teenage boy who sent a dick pic to a girl, I would be so appreciative to the parents of that girl if they came to me first, rather than the police. Teenagers are stupid and still learning the boundaries and rules of society. I would rather the opportunity for corrective action over pursuing criminal charges. Sure if it was a more serious sexual offence then involve the police before even attempting to talk to the parents of said child. But a Dick pic is fairly low down the list of sexual offences and is a great opportunity for learning and teaching. What the boy did was totally wrong and should never have happened. But personally I would take a measured response and give the boy a chance to apologise and learn where the boundary is. If he repeated the incident then it would be different. |
6,850 | daddit | 100% this! All I can add is that, when we tell our daughters to "suck it up," what's to say that the next time they do that, it isn't when a predator is grooming them for assault or trafficking? When we tell our girls to deal with it or excuse toxic behavior perpetrated by our boys, all we are doing is perpetuating a system that damages us all and impedes our childrens' ability to grow into fully integrated, compassionate humans. Thank you, OP, for bringing this to our attention. |
6,851 | daddit | I stand by what I said in there. I am certainly not going to excuse the behavior, but some of yall advocating for scorched earth on the kid aren't thinking about how that could affect the daughter. She is the victim, she has a right to have a say in how it's handled, and if she wants to let it go and drop it, you have to take that into consideration. YOU run the risk of victimizing her AGAIN by ignoring her wishes. |
6,852 | daddit | Hear hear. Speak out, speak loud. |
6,853 | daddit | I must’ve missed the comments you’re referring to. I feel like the ‘boys will be boys’ thing should apply to rough housing and such, not sending nudes. Also if that were my son I would hope the other parents would tell me first before possibly ruining my kids life via the police. |
6,854 | daddit | I'm sure everyone would agree with you... But what is prompting the rant? Another thread? I feel it a bit out of context here. |
6,855 | daddit | More like assholes will be assholes.. raised by assholes |
6,856 | daddit | Of course that’s bad, but ‘cops and lawyers’ isn’t an appropriate response either. |
6,857 | daddit | Of course you're right, and I'll only say that if it makes you feel better about the awards, I imagine they were mostly free ones that people had from daily promotions or from getting awards themselves. Also they're giving them not necessarily for you to profit but to boost the visibility and credibility of your post. The more awards and upvotes something has, the more visible it becomes. |
6,858 | daddit | Anyone who chimes in with “boys will be boys” do so because their parents also failed them and taught them that this is an acceptable mentality. “Boys will be boys” is valid for kids playing rough with each other or getting into stupid shit and learning some life lessons the hard way. It is not and never should be considered an out to be a piece of shit human, violate others, or justify disrespect. The problem is, much like other issues such as racism, these ideologies are passed down through intentional or unintentional teachings and the child just considers it to be “normal” thus making it exceptionally difficult to break the cycle. So yeah, to any parent who justifies sexual assault (or anything similar), be better. |
6,859 | daddit | I’ve got 4 sons. Boys will be boys is when they won’t leave each other alone until one of them gets body slammed. Not sexual harassment. And full stop, the ones excusing it as such, are pieces of shit. If this is happening and being brushed off at such a young age, I don’t have high hopes for them as adults. |
6,860 | daddit | As a guy who is about to become a dad this has scared the hell out of me for a number of years. The communication technology available to children and teens nowadays surpasses anything I had access to as a kid or teen by a wide margin. Which means I'm not going to have the experience to know what is and isn't possible with those damn phones at every moment. It honestly scares me. We're having a boy and all I know is if I heard my 13 year old shared a dick pick I'd be absolutely livid. That would be the end of his phone and internet privileges for a LONG time and would be the start of some very serious talks about sexual assault and harassment. If I was having a girl and this happened to her, I'd do everything I could to talk to her to make sure she knows what happened wasn't right and she should not accept it as OK or a joke or anything like that. It was sexual harassment and it was WRONG. I'd take it to the parents first and then if they did anything other than take it absolutely seriously I'd go straight to either the school/cops or just the cops. That kid has to know that kind of behavior is not accepted under any circumstances, period. And if his parents won't do that, the school and police will. |
6,861 | daddit | Agree with you completely. And holy shirtballs found that other thread. There’s an awful lot of bad - terrible - outrageous advice in that thread. If you commented in that thread, take a long hard look in mirror. Some of you are waaaaaaaaaay off base. |
6,862 | daddit | The ‘boys will be boys’ dads can get the fuck out of this sub |
6,863 | daddit | All the people in here saying 'I'd call the police' or 'I'd involve the authorities' or 'it's CP, throw away the key' and the like. **FU**. You clearly have no idea how much that shit can ruin someone's life forever. 'Boys will be boys' in regards to harassment is total bullshit, however, we're talking about kids, not full grown adults. They shouldn't be treated like they will never have any worth later in life. I know someone who was 18 when they were accused of SH, now they're a felon for life. And the accuser came out a few years later and rescinded their statements in writing. The charges are not gone. DO NOT involve authorities if you can handle it yourself, they will purposely try to fuck over everyone they can, including the accuser. Someone else suggested having the school provide education on this subject, THAT is a good idea. Education is always the way. |
6,864 | daddit | I almost commented on that post but held back. The thing is the boy was wrong and he needs to be educated that it was wrong. But you also have to keep in mind this is a 13 yr old that is just hitting puberty and with hormones, etc. It is normal to experiment with sexuality too. He did something wrong and unwanted but he also may not have realized it was unwanted. I know I was very unsure about things at that age too. So educate and try to ensure it doesn't happen again. But I don't think his life needs to be ruined for sending a dick pic either. |
6,865 | daddit | Police is a way to go. If the other parents won't discipline their child, the police will. |
6,866 | daddit | Throughout my life and previous relationships I've come to find that most womens first sexual experience came by being either forced or pressured into it. Teaching consent is a huge thing for both boys and girls as they grow up. As time goes on they will understand it differently. Teaching them will help protect them from others and also from themselves. |
6,867 | daddit | I’m a mom but I’m so glad to see this post. Dads need to be teaching their sons not to do this nonsense and teaching their daughters not to put up with it. Yes mom do too, but it needs to be a United front. Also, in a related subject, more dads need to have the porn talk with their kids. Because porn is unrealistic and teaches boys that girls LIKE being sexually assaulted or harassed. |
6,868 | daddit | “Boys will be boys” is a shit statement. It undermines the disgusting behavior of the people that raise those shitty boys. Both parents are responsible for their children’s behavior. It’s all about responsibility and when people say that they are trying to put the blame on society and their inability to raise a child with morals and respect for other. But those people raise those shit children had shit parents too. So the circle will continue until people gain respect for other. In the end “you can’t fix stupid” now that’s an old saying that stands true. |
6,869 | daddit | Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Everything you said is 100% spot on! As a woman I agree that if you ask any woman (or even teen), 100% of them will tell you they have been on the receiving end of unwanted advances and worse. I’m NOT saying that a guy asked them out but they weren’t interested. I’m talking about being groped, cat calls, guys approaching them and exposing themselves or saying sexual things like “damn your ass is so fine”, “I can do you better than your man”, etc. Would you want someone to treat your mother, sister or daughter like that? I can tell you that being on the receiving end of that is uncomfortable, shocking, scary and sickening. I thought maybe if I gained a lot of weight I would be ugly and guys would stop acting like that. Please, please, please teach your sons that that behavior is wrong and will not result in what they want. We humans can do better than this. |
6,870 | daddit | Listen to Better Men by You, Me, and Everyone We Know |
6,871 | daddit | What... sounds uncharacteristic of this subreddit. I've never heard anyone say those things. And if they did they were downvoted to oblivion. |
6,872 | daddit | Thank You Good sir ! |
6,873 | daddit | Agree with you man. The problem is a lot of parents dont even bother to educate their kids anymore thinking that school will do all the job for them. And then When shit appen its not their kids the problem but your wich is educate. |
6,874 | daddit | I'm not a woman but even I was approached/solicited for sexual favors when I was a young boy, and that's why my kids will unfortunately never be a part of the boy scouts organization. It really doesn't matter, boy or girl, talk about correct behavior and expectations - and what to do if somebody ever makes them uncomfortable. If you make it seem like this is a subject that shouldn't be discussed openly, they may grow to feel the same way and may not come to you when something does happen. |
6,875 | daddit | This is a good resource from a local nonprofit in Michigan for teaching kids of different ages about consent and safety: https://www.cac-kent.org/right-time-for-story-time/ |
6,876 | daddit | The issue here is the consent piece. All he had to do was say, hey you want to see my penis? If that happened this would be an entirely different conversation. Be he didn’t. I think it’s absolutely a potential teaching moment but people are too wrapped up in the results and not in, what is inherently the right thing to do here? There’s a lot of 4D mental chess being played here. No matter what is done, I hope both children get the help they need and everyone can leave their pride at the door. |
6,877 | daddit | As a father of a boy and a girl (U12), I wholeheartedly agree with you. I just wanted to add that the other way around is also entirely unacceptable and both my kids have learned and continue to learn that and why any of this unwanted behaviour will not not go unpunished and that they should also speak up ASAP if it happens to them. |
6,878 | daddit | 100 percent I saw one that said just accept and move on because there was comments stating the parents was laid back. I absolutely assure you no one with a son that did that to my daughter would be laid back over it and trying to tell me it’s no big deal. I found the comment on accepting it due to it being common place as women get them all the time to be extremely alarming. Iv never sent one in My life and wouldn’t dream of it but that’s me. A 13 year old girl does not need to be told get ready for the dickpicks they coming. A girl should know her dad is protective and supportive no matter what and that means making unpopular decisions for her own good as she grows up. Beating the kids dads ass after he said boys will be boys and choosing not to educate his son if I see that as a reasonable response to this disgusting act. |
6,879 | daddit | Yeah with a 4 year old girl all I can say is protect yours and teach them right, parents should always seek justice to the fullest extent because if the law protects it binds, if it doesn't protect it doesn't bind. |
6,880 | daddit | 100% bang on! I have a 4 month old boy, and before we knew what we were having my wife and I were in target looking at clothes (like way in the future clothes 5-6 yr old stuff just for fun) I was looking at the differences between the cuts for shirts and other such items of clothing, and the one that sticks in my mind was a grogu shirt, it was the same pattern same fabric but the cut was wildly different, like why does a 5yr old or even younger need a crop top? It’s a different part of the same problem! It’s the thing that really hit home for me that made me think, I hope We don’t have a girl so she doesn’t have to go through that, just gotta teach my kid the right way to interact with people. |
6,881 | daddit | 100% right and true homie! My daughter is only 3 weeks old but I've been thinking about this since before she was born, thank you for posting about it, it shouldn't have to be this way but in the world we live in, it is important |
6,882 | daddit | Thank you OP for restoring my faith in this MOSTLY wonderful and supportive group. Saw the conversations that were happening on said post this morning and promptly went outside to cut the grass. The number of fathers saying things along the lines of "if it's only his first time sending unsolicited dick pics, just let it go" made me sick to my stomach. The fact that the poor dad asking for advice kept his cool also goes to show the high quality of people in this group. If my son ever did anything like that rest assured he would be punished to the fullest extent of the law, as he should be. Things that can go without being made into a big deal include, missing curfew, "forgetting" chores, getting new clothes dirty etc... Things that need to be promptly and harshly corrected include sexual assualt and acts of violence/hate. Anyone downplaying the seriousness of this boy's act is contributing the objectifying/sexualization of women in our society, and his helping to create the future generation of entitled rapists. "Letting him off easy" just teaches the boy what he did was not all that wrong. This boy's parents have failed him, so someone needs to step in. I hope that poor guy asking for advice for his daughter finds this post and doesn't lose all faith in this wonderful group. |
6,883 | daddit | Imagine being the toolbag who is more concerned about “rUiNiNG tHe BoYs LifE” rather than a very young teenager receiving an unsolicited disco pic - and thinking you have the moral high ground. |
6,884 | daddit | > It's utterly disturbing how many other dads have chimed in and said nothing short of "boys will be boys" and that ops daughter should just suck it up I didn't see a single comment saying this. This seems like karma farming. |
6,885 | daddit | 'God fearing' lol |
6,886 | daddit | If that happened to my daughter I would be bringing it to the police, not just the child’s parents. |
6,887 | daddit | GO TO THE POLICE. If he has done this to your daughter, there is a very real possibility that he has done it to another girl, or might. That picture is a federal crime in the US. The boy made a choice, he now has to live with it. If you do nothing, then you are saying it's okay for this boy to do it to others. I am raising two girls and two boys. I swore that I would never allow what happened to my neices happen to them. Of my older sisters three have been victimized, of my neices four have had shit like this happen. NO MORE. |
6,888 | daddit | There is a lot that needs to be taught and explained. One thing I unfortunately had trouble grasping was that consent isn’t a one time thing. It is an every single time thing. And then some. Just because something happened once, does not mean it’s an automatic. I never thought that my troubled past was a “boys will be boys” thing. I often lurked in shadows completely terrified of my parents. But I wasn’t educated on pretty much anything. I sadly contributed to this generational behavior. And I can try to make myself feel better by saying that I wasn’t a predator, I did care about and respected the girls I talked with. But I took things too far and it took me way too long to realize what I was doing was wrong. Even if celibacy is the rule in your house, talk and discuss everything. Whatever we don’t teach, kids will seek out answers some other way. Do you want them to find the wrong answers and end up in the wrong place? Respect, consent, and empathy. Every time. All the time. |
6,889 | daddit | Yes. We need to move beyond this dumb idea of what masculinity is. On a fb thread someone joked around about losing his “man card” because he got a pedicure . Do people still think like this? Boys will be boys is similar, we can’t excuse behavior like this. We need to do better. |
6,890 | daddit | I have a 4mo son and I’m already planning the respect and boundaries conversations. (Plural) he’s going to be a kind gentle soul I can tell but this will still be a major topic. I too feel that this is frustrating that it needs to be said but 100% yes, it needs to be said. I’m 100% with you my man and I will be teaching both my daughters and sons what is acceptable behavior and what isn’t. |
6,891 | daddit | All of this dude. |
6,892 | daddit | As a new mom (who has been lurking on this sub since before I was pregnant) holding my 3 month old daughter as she naps on me, thank you all for taking this seriously. Not gonna lie, a tear came to my eye as I read your post OP. So many times as a young woman I've felt so alone when it came to issues like this and while we still have a long way to go, it's so refreshing to see this support. With dads like you raising boys (and girls!), I have hope for my daughter that she will never feel the way I did. |
6,893 | daddit | I agree completely. My son is 9, and my wife and I are doing everything we can to make sure that he never falls into that “boys will be boys” mindset. We’ve talked about bodies being personal and consent, and we’ve read books with him about this idea. He already gets it, so there is no reason teens and adults can’t figure it out, too. |
6,894 | daddit | I’ve 2 preteen boys and a toddler girl. My wife is a psychologist training to be a social worker. All we do at home is bang on about consent. Disappointed by the other thread. Especially since I said one thing, got downvoted. Seen that someone had said the same but got upvoted!? I suggested the peers be made aware of his behaviour. It needs called out! |
6,895 | daddit | Great great great fucking post. |
6,896 | daddit | Someone have a link to this post? What in the fucking fuck? No part of this is acceptable. Dads who roll their eyes when they hear things like "rape culture": THIS IS WHAT PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT WHEN THEY TALK ABOUT RAPE CULTURE |
6,897 | daddit | The crazy thing is that people don't realize this needs to be taught from a very young age. Obviously not explicit detail, but laying the foundations for respect, consent and bodily autonomy. Kids are playing and one goes too far and the other says stop. If they don't stop, it's a great moment to engrain that "stop means stop". Hell, even when I'm interacting with my kids, for example if I am tickling their feet and they say stop. You better believe I stop immediately and let them know why. At first they were a bit confused but they now understand that I will listen, I respect them and most of all, they have the power to say stop. |
6,898 | daddit | After recently dealing with an incident at a doctor's office where my daughter was advanced on, at 3 yrs old, the mentality of "boys will be boys" is about the MOST disgusting thing you can believe in. You deserve the worst Karma fathomable for enabling such DISGUSTING behavior. Boys respect girls, not violate them. Any man who supports the latter shouldn't reproduce. It's still disturbing what happened to my daughter.. But.... You asked me to chime in, so I did. |
6,899 | daddit | I did not see the other thread, but I do have one issue with what you wrote. I don't believe it has anything to do with being woke, God-fearing or evolved. teaching people not to sexual harass others it's just part of being a decent human being. And if you have the mindset to the contrary then you are stuck in an old time. It's not woke. It's human decency |
6,900 | daddit | I have 2 sons and when they are old enough they will be taught these lessons. Very well put and I applaud you for calling out the fathers who are still holding onto the childish “boys will be boys” mentality! |
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