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7,001
daddit
In the original post he said he knew the parents, just not well. I agree with your sentiment though. I’m generally under the assumption that parents at least have a working knowledge of, or relationship with, their children’s friend’s parents and would know if there is some aggravating factor.
7,002
daddit
The most upvoted top comments are pretty reasonable. You have to go lower down to find the ones OP is talking about.
7,003
daddit
Thank you for the context, I wasn't aware of what happened that precipitated this post. I will only contribute the thought, and I do not want to seem like I am giving space for what happened, but rather trying to highlight the subtext of factors that allowed this to happen: a lot of young people view "online" interact...
7,004
daddit
“Ruin the boy’s life.” Sucks to suck. When you do something wrong, there are consequences. I’d hate the thought of my kid’s life being ruined, but if I ever found them sending NON-CONSENSUAL, explicit pics, there would be a reckoning.
7,005
daddit
This shit makes me so insanely mad. Why is it always on women to adjust their behaviour to accommodate the failures of boys and men? Maybe teach your boy not to send pictures of his dick. Maybe teach him to respect people. Maybe teach him about consequences. If my son did this shit, I’d be taking him to the police myse...
7,006
daddit
“Ruin the boy’s life.” Sucks to suck. When you do something wrong, there are consequences. I’d hate the thought of my kid’s life being ruined, but if I ever found them sending NON-CONSENSUAL, explicit pics, there would be a reckoning.
7,007
daddit
If they are going to change, I’ve never seen it happen, but it would be awesome
7,008
daddit
He also said he doesn't care if the daughter is hurt, as long as the boy is punished, which is some toxic masculinity shit.
7,009
daddit
A 13 year old won't go to prison for this.
7,010
daddit
It’s so disgusting! Just feels like sometimes I’m the only person that sees the crazy! So I’m glad you made this post! Thank you!
7,011
daddit
"Christians"
7,012
daddit
It's also the post just below yours on the sub front page so probably not hard to find FWIW.
7,013
daddit
Thanks for your perspective. You have convinced me - congratulations on winning an internet debate! I didn't know it was possible....
7,014
daddit
Appropriate reactions after a "smoke and coffee". OP in the other post is emotionally reacting still. What if it is a random picture that he found online? When girls have asked me in the past I've always sent fakes just to protect myself. \*Disclaimer\* I think "sexting" is the dumbest thing anyone could ever do, but ...
7,015
daddit
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7,016
daddit
Bruh. I agree with your post but this comment is a bit much. Just pointing out the correct usage of your / you're doesn't make someone a troll. You should delete this because it subtracts from the very good points you made in the original post.
7,017
daddit
Chill, dude. You were being corrected for using the wrong spelling multiple times. You're telling dad's to educate your daughters without educating yourself.
7,018
daddit
Whoa dude, you have some anger issues eh? I also commented something similar and got an equally anger-filled reply. It's difficult to read your wall of text when it's so poorly written, that's all we are trying to say. The message is lost in your bad/lazy writing. Try harder, it's not that difficult. There are tools to...
7,019
daddit
Your initial caring post doesn’t read as well, when you seem to promote shooting a young kid for sending dick pics in this comment.
7,020
daddit
Just something I noticed. Many, not all, of the dads saying not to make it a big deal are dads of boys and the ones that are going all ape shit about it are dads of girls.
7,021
daddit
This isn't an opportunity of PBIS. Maybe you'd feel differently if you had a daughter instead of a son. Teach him not to do that shit.
7,022
daddit
Everyone is so concerned about ruining a poor boys life but don’t take into account the affect CONSTANT and MULTIPLE situations like this will have on a girl
7,023
daddit
If the kid does something with life-ruining consequences, that's on them and their parents. In any case, of this kid doesn't learn at 13 that this is serious, it's not like he's gonna get any better as he gets older
7,024
daddit
Oh, fuck yeah. You don't do that and get away with it.
7,025
daddit
Only after a kid makes a decision that can run his life.
7,026
daddit
It shouldn’t, but it’s reality. The amount of guys who send my wife (for example) unsolicited texts and advances even though we’ve been married for 5 years Is astounding. Me however? None. I’ve accepted the reality that my daughter will always have to deal with Pervy guys throughout her life and she needs to deal wit...
7,027
daddit
Exactly, it should be kids will be kids
7,028
daddit
Agree with this sentiment, my goddaughters are just as likely to do a sick trick on their bikes as any of my nephews!! Kids will be kids and do dumb stuff but privates are for private not to be shared
7,029
daddit
Never involve authorities when you can deal with it yourself. You don't know what they'll do and they DO NOT have your or your kids' interests at heart.
7,030
daddit
Please stop including police in child rearing
7,031
daddit
Exactly. I’d do the same if my son were involved. The lesson here is that you have crossed the line of the consequences I am in control of, and you have crossed into the realm of societal consequences: the police are now the authority in this matter. I can protect you from yourself by helping stop you, helping you b...
7,032
daddit
Why? All of the women that are being mistreated are daughters
7,033
daddit
I don't even see why that should make a difference. If someone only cares about girls being abused because they have a girl then they're still the problem. Even if someone doesn't have kids, doesn't want kids, or even hates kids, they should always be strongly against this kind of behaviour.
7,034
daddit
I agree. I also think Dads and Moms will have different perspectives on what is and isn’t normal behavior for a pubescent boy.
7,035
daddit
Me too!! My buddy is a step dad and his step son gave him something for Father’s Day that said bonus dad and After the experience I had with step parents I adopted bonus parents I’m for the good ones!
7,036
daddit
This is the first I heard of the justifications and it’s got my blood boiling
7,037
daddit
I like that. I think I'd also want a statement by the school that all district parents will be notified that this boy is sending sexual images to other students, if he does it again to any other student. And an announcement by the school on the issue in general within a week. Additionally, I'd want a specific form th...
7,038
daddit
I don’t know how well that will work given that the post that inspired this is about two minors who are on summer vacation from school, and also do not go to the same school.
7,039
daddit
As a woman who was assaulted at 13 by an adult and then at 14 by a 18 year old I’m very aware of real life and my daughter and son wont have rose colored glasses. But knowing all that I know and how the world is I’m not going to continue giving the same response/reactions we as parents have for years because it clearly...
7,040
daddit
Yes. I can agree with this.
7,041
daddit
This isn't a by law infraction, it's a criminal act.
7,042
daddit
Absolutely. When it involves kids on both sides of the issue I absolutely agree that there should be an attempt to handle it starting with a parent to parent discussion but if there is even the slightest inkling that the other parents will not be severely punishing their child and devoting serious time to correctly ed...
7,043
daddit
I actually wrote my masters thesis on this topic - and in order to change, those dads have to stay exposed to ideas and opinions that challenge their “boys will be boys” mentality. It’s actually the only way they will change.
7,044
daddit
I don't disagree with you entirely because your right, most people never change for the positive but since I'm a recovering shitty person I'd be a hypocrite to not give people the benefit of the doubt to have the potential to change. You never know why someone is they way they are. Personally, I was a shitty person bec...
7,045
daddit
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7,046
daddit
Correcting the use of your / you're does nothing but attempt to diminish the message being presented. Do you think they actually care if OP knows the difference? No, they just want to undermine the points he makes by latching onto bullshit grammar mistakes.
7,047
daddit
Who cares about the spelling? It's such a bullshit way to diminish the message being presented.
7,048
daddit
Oh bullshit, the grammar mistakes don't make it hard to read, you're just being a dick to ignore the actual message being presented. Grow the fuck up.
7,049
daddit
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7,050
daddit
There's a difference between saying go shoot a kid and saying I wouldn't find you guilty. Although Jury nullification isn't a legal right the fact that it exists says a lot because there are times when the law is wrong and shouldn't punish an individual for what they have done. I can't pass fault on someone that choose...
7,051
daddit
I have both...I teach them common sense, which seems to be lacking in this sub as evidenced by myopic viewpoints such as yours.
7,052
daddit
I'm not being inconsiderate, if this kid was doing this multiple times and not stopping or harassing this girl then obviously that's a different story but if this is a one off situation and they are 13, it should be a strong parent to parent conversation
7,053
daddit
Can't he learn this is a serious situation without ruining the kids life on a one off thing? I could see if this was multiple times but if it's a one time thing I would feel like a strong conversation and threats of calling the cops would be enough to scare the kid and hopefully correct his behavior.
7,054
daddit
Clearly it's a strong parent to parent conversation, and hopefully that would be enough to get the kid to learn a lesson and it corrects itself.
7,055
daddit
Yeah, but then that excludes grown ups who play in the mud with their kids or try to do sweet tricks on their bikes. It should be "people will be people"
7,056
daddit
Especially in the US this is absolutely the case. The police here are *not* protectors of the people, they're a security force for rich people and corporations. Nothing else.
7,057
daddit
I agree with that. But there are times when the cops should be involved. Sexual harassment is not something to joke about. Ever.
7,058
daddit
Bullshit. If the dad handles it with the parents directly he's depending on them actually caring, or he could end up being in legal trouble due to having ownership of the photo, which would be classified as child porn. As a dad of twin girls, it's my responsibility to lead by example, which means to speak up and cont...
7,059
daddit
Ya, when we decided someone else needs to deal with her problem is when we started failing at parenting.
7,060
daddit
Never have. Hopefully will never have to. My older brother, when he was a teenager, got into some pretty bad stuff. Ended up getting pulled over by the cops and a gun painted at his head at one point. That was the point when he decided to turn his life around. Sometimes it takes a scared straight moment. I hope none o...
7,061
daddit
You’re right. The point is how people can be blind to things until it affects their lives. It doesn’t always mean they were terrible people, they just didn’t have the personal experiences to help open their eyes. Their blind ignorance should stop afterwards and they should help others see it too. Think micro aggressio...
7,062
daddit
But also the school has no involvement for things that don’t happen at school and aren’t school sponsored events
7,063
daddit
I totally agree with you on what you said in your previous comment, and in this one. I'm not being intentionally obtuse or contrary, but I just think a lynch mob response to the boy isn't exactly helpful either. The boy who sent the image should have already been taught the boundaries. He either hasn't or he doesn't ...
7,064
daddit
Maybe he should just move on and get over it, girls will be told right?! /s Yeah even at the water treatment plant, the “cream” rises to the top
7,065
daddit
Not really true. I would say using the wrong grammar diminishes the message and sometimes pointing out the correct usage is meant to be helpful (assuming that op didn't know the difference instead of doing it intentionally to bait grammar Nazis).
7,066
daddit
Spelling incorrectly diminishes the message. Basically says "I'm uneducated, but still want you to listen to me."
7,067
daddit
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7,068
daddit
I don't think your opinion is common sense. I think your attitude about your daughter is myopic. We're just going to have to agree that you're wrong, and leave it at that. Have a great day.
7,069
daddit
Ops daughter believes the kids parents wouldn't care and that they have a very relaxed parenting style. If the parents aren't as enraged as I am and absolutely convince me that the boy will be firmly reeducated then fuck yes I'm going to the cops and I'm gonna be pushy about making him an example.
7,070
daddit
Hopefully don't do shit for me. "Hopefully that would be enough"... and what if it isn't?
7,071
daddit
I think "kids will be kids" is fine realistically, but I agree more adults need to embrace, and encourage each other to embrace, their inner children. My wife went running out in the hot summer rain the other day and it completely turned her mood and week around.
7,072
daddit
Nah. I do this regularly. And I appreciate my inner child that lets me do this stuff once in a while. I'm fine with kids will be kids. Or let the children play.
7,073
daddit
Yep, they exist to protect property and the vast majority are specifically bad at defusing complex situations. This entire discussion is a job for a social worker.
7,074
daddit
No one here is joking around. Don't involve cops, they're not there to protect you or the victim. The only way I could see bringing them in as ok is if this is a repeat offender and every other possible action has been taken already. If that's the case, then that person has likely already been expelled from school, ha...
7,075
daddit
Scared straight moment can easily turn into “the cop was scared straight” moment. Those are fatal moments.
7,076
daddit
Depends on the school. A private school may kick you out for getting arrested and making them look bad.
7,077
daddit
It absolutely does not diminish the message and if you actually think it does you're insane. "He made some really good points about teenage sexual harassment, but he used the wrong your / you're so I'm not sure the message is really meaningful." Are you fucking serious? The post is perfectly legible, there is no rea...
7,078
daddit
No it doesn't. If you can read a perfectly legible post about shifty dad's encouraging sexual harassment t and your takeaway is "well his grammar isn't perfect so the whole message is pretty meaningless" then you're either one of those shifty dad's or you're just an insane asshole. Either way, your opinion holds no bea...
7,079
daddit
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7,080
daddit
Okay but that wasn't part of the conversation until now
7,081
daddit
Obviously take it to the next level if it persists
7,082
daddit
I agree, I was being glib. I totally get your message though. I have been getting my wife to start just doing bike rides for fun, she totally gets it now and is enjoying it
7,083
daddit
Teachers and admin have enough shit to handle, mediating and disciplining kids for non school related things doesn’t need to get added on. Kicking a kid out of a school by itself does nothing to actually address the problem, it just kicks the can to someone else. Something like this rests solely on the parents
7,084
daddit
Ok dude. Looks like you just like to argue. I already said I agree with the original post and you out here acting like a post containing bad English carries the message equally with one that is written well. I didn't say it fully discredits the message, but it doesn't help either. Just my insane rambling tho I guess.
7,085
daddit
[deleted]
7,086
daddit
It was you just weren't aware of it because you didn't read the post that inspired thus post. I do believe that post was linked so please feel free to go check it out. Sorry about any confusion.
7,087
daddit
Why does she have to suffer twice? Waiting for him to do it to her again doesn't change anything. What happens if instead of sending her another one he does it to someone else's daughter?
7,088
daddit
So, you want to ruin a kids life it perists? I think we agree, I'm just way more aggressive at getting to the end result. And I'm fine with that.
7,089
daddit
I don’t disagree with this comment, but it doesn’t make your previous comment any more correct.
7,090
daddit
Yes, a post on social media containing perfect grammar and one containing perfectly legible but imperfect grammar carry their messages equally. It's not a thesis, it's an angry rant on reddit. Again, to focus on the grammar is just a shifty attempt to minimize the message being presented.
7,091
daddit
I'm getting a lot of use of the word pedantic today so that one was for you and I'll also attribute caddish to you as well.
7,092
daddit
I did read it, it's not fair for you to expect me to go through the comments to figure out more in depth information on the parents from the post
7,093
daddit
And what if he made a dumbass move and didn't think before sending it? What's more plausible, the kid being a predator or him not thinking straight at 13 years old
7,094
daddit
Obviously if he doesn't learn from a strong conversation with his parents and threats to call the cops take it to the police, but if this is a one off thing give the kid a chance to learn before things get bad for him.
7,095
daddit
Dude there's zero room for nuance here where people think a photo is the same as violent physical assault... I can only hope people behave more calmly in real life.
7,096
daddit
Things getting bad for him is his chance to learn. I'm not giving anybody any chances when it comes to something like that. 1 and done, sorry.
7,097
daddit
Yeah I'm a little shocked at the comments on this one, people are out for blood
7,098
daddit
My son Connor was diagnosed with Sanfilippo Syndrome shortly before his 2nd birthday, likened to Alzheimer’s disease in children. With no known treatment or cure, we pursued an experimental bone marrow transplant in an effort to save his life and quality of life. Two transplants failed after 7 months in the hospital. W...
7,099
daddit
Our eldest child, my first son, was diagnosed with a terminal muscle wasting disease (Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy) just before his second birthday. We know we will outlive our son but we don’t know how long that’ll be. While I’m not where you are yet we have begun to have a taste… it is a pain and a sorrow that I would...
7,100
daddit
Fuck dude. I don't know what to say. The world is cruel. Utterly cruel for not only taking your son but for the devastation left in its wake. I'm sorry.