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7,312,001 | mommit | Oh mama. Can you reach out to your OB about how you are feeling? PPD/A can start any time postpartum - not just the first few months after. They will be able to recommend different options to help with these feelings. Mine came on pretty quickly PP thanks to all the twin hormones, but therapy+zoloft helped me a LOT. ... |
7,312,002 | mommit | Are there any mom networks or communities that you could get involved with? Or any toddler classes where you could meet other moms? Connection is so important and really hard to get as a SAHM. You sound like an amazing mom |
7,312,003 | mommit | Humans are not meant to live like this! Just went back to having my two alone in the morning before daycare/work and I wouldn't last a week let alone years! I hope you get some support from somewhere. You're not less than/a failure at all! |
7,312,004 | mommit | Sadly I had NO CLUE what a SAHM did until I became a mom myself. You are a rockstar. I’m sorry it’s the hardest job in the world with no pay, no break and hardly any appreciation. |
7,312,005 | mommit | I’m not a SAHM but i lost myself in being a mom. And honestly I’d give anything to stay home. But Try finding activities at home that are just yours (or something fun that your kid can be involved in). Do you like crafting? Escape in a book? Puzzles? Chores are just that… and they are constantly being undone, find som... |
7,312,006 | mommit | I feel the same way! You're not alone I promise |
7,312,007 | mommit | Yes!!!! You're always on, never off. SAHM of 2. The eldest is 5 and is constantly saying his dad let's him do this and that, and that he wants his dad. It's largely because he sees me all the time. I think my husband struggles with the guilt of working all the time and is way more permissive as a result. But it sti... |
7,312,008 | mommit | I’m so lonely I answered the survey letter for my dentist. Who does that |
7,312,009 | mommit | I am right there with you. I do all I can to keep up and I feel like I still fall short. I haven’t bought new clothes for myself in over 3 years, I desperately need a haircut and pedicure…I feel completely useless. I was a balls to the wall kind of worker - I busted my ass at my jobs, but when I became pregnant right b... |
7,312,010 | mommit | I stay at home with my 2 kids (2 and 4). It is very difficult and I also struggle with loneliness and anger at times. I’m not sure what your situation is, but could you go back to work? Maybe just part time? |
7,312,011 | mommit | My husband brought up the possibility of me becoming a SAHM I said there is no way I could do it. Not because I didn’t want to, lord I would love to, but because both of our families are in different states. We don’t have a grandma and grandpa to watch the baby for a few hours so I could recharge or clean the house w... |
7,312,012 | mommit | Y’all are seriously amazing. Thank you for spending a few minutes to read and comment. It does help to know that while I may be physically alone, I’m not actually alone. It’s very validating. Hugs to all. |
7,312,013 | mommit | I feel like it gets better when you make other SAHM friends. Or so I’ve heard - I’ve struggled to actually make any so far. My mom had a big community of SAHM friends when I was little, and I remember always being at other people’s houses and them being at ours in the middle of the day when the dads were at work. We w... |
7,312,014 | mommit | # The way we live is unnatural. We're so disconnected from one another:( My neighbors are Amish and the women help each other. I'll see ladies carrying mops and brooms to go help another busy mom get her work done, that's so awesome! Why can't we ask for help and not be judged for needing a hand? I don't have help eith... |
7,312,015 | mommit | I give you so many props! I work and my son stays home with family. I miss him when I’m away, but also enjoy my job and need the time away from being a caregiver 24/7. When I have time off (we get spring break, winter break etc.) I’m always trying to make plans for activities or meetups so I’m not just home with a todd... |
7,312,016 | mommit | I completely understand what you're going through. Can your toddler go to some kind of daycare or preschool for even a half a day? That's what we did with our daughter and she loves it. It also gives me a break while I'm home with our 11 month old. His naps are my break. Good luck and remember you're not alone |
7,312,017 | mommit | First of all, you're not useless. If you disappeared suddenly, someone else would have to do all the things you're currently doing, and they'd get paid for most of them too. They're all important tasks. Second, it sounds like you really need a hobby or pastime that's just for you. The daily grind is so much harder if ... |
7,312,018 | mommit | can you put your little one in pre-school 1 day a week? if so, you could take a college class, yoga, run, or just have an entire day off (yes. i just said that it is ok for you to take an entire day once a week and take care of **yourself!**) you’ve got to find some other mammas to hang with, take the kiddos for a wa... |
7,312,019 | mommit | I feel you! Only been doing it for 10 months but I’m happy when I even get to do household tasks. My little one is very attached and demanding at the moment. I have no friends nearby and my family lives abroad. The friendships I have have also changed drastically. My sister has a 4 and a 6 year old and she started a ... |
7,312,020 | mommit | I was reading this and for a split second, thought I wrote this somehow. I can't give you any advice or comforting words because I'm right there with you. Theirs a huge part of me that's one and done.. but theirs also a tiny tiny very tiny part of me that wanted another one. I don't think I can't handle more though and... |
7,312,021 | mommit | My husband lets me get out of the house alone for about 3 hours once a week. It’s the perfect amount of time for me to do the things I enjoy- sing in the car (to my music, not the kids’), walk through TJmaxx, go to the library alone, get coffee, run an errand that is easier without a kid attached to me. I’m an introve... |
7,312,022 | mommit | I’ve been a SAHM for almost 8 years. I have 5 kids, 7, 6, 3, 2 and 6 months. We also homeschool so it gets busy here and I can definitely relate! What I’ve found to be important though is to make time for yourself. So the laundry doesn’t get done one day, or the dishes, it’s no biggie! Like today, my husband decided to... |
7,312,023 | mommit | Being a SAHM is such a hard job that you couldn’t pay me to do it. I’m a working mom and I’m exhausted, I can’t imagine how SAHMs survive. You guys are such hard working people and you deserve all the props, plus a nice long vacation without anybody needing you. |
7,312,024 | mommit | I could've written this myself. I try so hard but it never feels like enough. I'm lonely and tired. It's the same thing every day. Yeah, I try to get my little out plenty and all that of course, but even the outings have become just more of the same. Someone told me today "Well, at least it's Friday!" .... so? My weeke... |
7,312,025 | mommit | SAHM for 10 years, and my youngest started kindergarten full-time this past fall! I enrolled in some classes for the semester, and got a part time job in the new field. There is light at the end of the tunnel! Your time home with your kids isn't wasted! I also had a hard time, and I know I have contracted socially- bu... |
7,312,026 | mommit | Being a SAHM is NOT for the weak. No one appreciates what we do, and nobody cares. Everything we do is always taken for granted because our families seem to think we use our magic powers to make things nice for everyone else. Meanwhile, everyone in the outside world thinks we lay around and do nothing. They think w... |
7,312,027 | mommit | I’m not a SAHM but I really relate to this. I work from home, so I’m always at my house. And when I’m not working I’m taking care of baby. It’s really lonely sometimes. And I find myself too exhausted right now to try and make new friends or sign up for extracurriculars. Just want you to know you are not worthless an... |
7,312,028 | mommit | I'm sorry you're feeling down. I had similar feelings and I'm only 9 weeks in, two things helped me. I saw a poem recently about how your baby thinks you are their entire world and they are the happiest and safest with you. It made me feel better about the situation. Also the thought that it is temporary and you'll wis... |
7,312,029 | mommit | It’s even worse when your child is a high needs kid. My 2.5 yr old is SO high spirited and curious that taking her out gets me all panicked. She just can’t stay in one place and has to run everywhere. If I take her to a new place I have to be behind her because she has no sense of danger and will climb everything. I am... |
7,312,030 | mommit | This is my life right now. We had a second child and I knew I absolutely could not do it again. So we are done having more kids. I’m 4/12 years into being a sahm and I’m totally miserable. My husband is amazing when he’s home. But I can relate to absolutely everything you just said |
7,312,031 | mommit | Mama, I so hear your struggle... I'm in the same boat, only 8 months in. Honestly, I can't wait to return to work, probably part time or something like that and figure it out from there. I think my son would benefit too from spending time somewhere else than home and with someone else than his tired mama. If that's an ... |
7,312,032 | mommit | This is why even tho it’s more work on my plate I also continue to work. I work from home so I can do both. If I was a SAHM and didn’t work I would be feeling the exact same way. Is there something you can do from home to add a little more satisfaction to your day? Maybe even a hobby? |
7,312,033 | mommit | I’m sorry :( my LO is almost 6 months and my biggest struggle is feeling like I’m contributing to our family and working hard, which is absolutely ridiculous because I’m literally raising our child all day (and most evenings too, as my husband has to work a lot of hours). It’s weird to not make money and just do stuff ... |
7,312,034 | mommit | Do you have any mothers groups in the area? I found them a great help. Also, if you’re extroverted enough, have a oook on Facebook for local mothers groups. There’s often open groups who meet up at local coffee shops, parks, libraries etc. to let the children play and bitch about mom stuff. Finding one of these might... |
7,312,035 | mommit | I am glad I am not the only sahm who feels this way. I’ve been feeling so lonely and miserable these last 5mo and I thought it was just me being me. I have a 7yr old from a previous relationship so I know motherhood is obviously really hard but I wasn’t a sahm. I never knew what it was like until I had my second baby r... |
7,312,036 | mommit | I feel this. I refer to myself as a hybrid mom as I’m at home and I also work from home. It’s very difficult to juggle both. It’s been like this for almost 3 years. |
7,312,037 | mommit | I would never want to be a stay at home mom. I'm a single mom so i have to work but I struggle just on the weekends even. How to fill the days. It's lonely and boring and hard. You are amazing and certainly not alone. |
7,312,038 | mommit | I would talk to your OB about this and see if they can provided resources. |
7,312,039 | mommit | Put her in a playgroup/mommy's morning out/ part time preschool if you can. You get yourself back when you start doing things for yourself, even if it's just one night a week for a few hours, or to go shopping, leisurely, alone, with a coffee and a nicotene vape... |
7,312,040 | mommit | It sucks ass! Watch a doc called Fair Play on hulu |
7,312,041 | mommit | late to the party but you are not alone, mama. we see you. we hear you. we are there too and doing as well as we can every day. |
7,312,042 | mommit | I feel ya! I have two, 5 1/2 years apart and ended up being a SAHM when my 2nd was born, April of 2020 It’s by far the most stressful job I’ve had. I’ve found making sure I have text threads with my friends going daily has helped. We are all at a busy stage in life so even if we can’t get together as frequently as I’... |
7,312,043 | mommit | I feel this so hard. I’ve been a SAHM, in a foreign country, for the last 2.5 years. Before moving here I was a police officer so a very interactive job, now my day to day involves exactly what you described. Chores and playing with tiny children. I love my kids so much and I’m happy to be able to spend this time wit... |
7,312,044 | mommit | Look for a gym. I found a gym 10 minutes from our house that has child care. So I can go for two hours and they will watch my child while I walk on a treadmill or float in a pool. I haven’t made friends but there are gym people I talk to. I am able to put on headphones and watch ad adult show uninterrupted. It is glori... |
7,312,045 | mommit | You’re going to have to step outside the comfort and find connections with people. Find a play date group with other Moms. But also find something else to do for yourself at least once a week. Hubby gets baby and you go get a drink or join a book club or just sit in silence somewhere. Mom doesn’t have to be your entire... |
7,312,046 | mommit | Ugh same, I honestly am sitting her on the couch while little is asleep and I'm still guilt tripping myself. It's like by the time I'm dressed, she's dressed, and we get through meals there's a huge mess that I could clean up or I could spend time with her. I wanted this, I did, but its a unique sort of exhausting. |
7,312,047 | mommit | I feel this so much right now. I'm a working mom who has been blessed to spend the last month at home with my 2.5 yo son. He is the sweetest and generally an easy kid to handle. But I find myself getting so stressed tending to his every need 24/7 and thinking of things for us to do to keep him occupied. There are only ... |
7,312,048 | mommit | Hi OP sending love. Here is one example of how my now 4 y/o has showed me my worth: overheard talking to her dad telling him about how much fun going to the grocery store to get snacks with me the night before was. It was a sort of ordinary yet still made fun outing that wasn’t too difficult for me but just felt spec... |
7,312,049 | mommit | I have no answer to your questions, because I’ve been feeling the same way. You have to schedule time just for you. I started painting during my 2 year olds nap. I’ve put my phone away when I’ve been tempted to sit and stare at it when I have a moment to myself. Reading a book makes me feel like I’ve accomplished somet... |
7,312,050 | mommit | I’m sorry you’re sad, it is tough at times. Where are you located? How old is your LO? |
7,312,051 | mommit | Agreed. I’m a job person. I love communication abd talking. I love my baby too and want the best for his development but I’m struggling. It’s exhausting. I hear you. I feel you. You are not alone |
7,312,052 | mommit | I’m a sahm of two toddlers and been feeling like this for years . Might get better when they start school . |
7,312,053 | mommit | I feel you. It does get better!! How old is your toddler? Make some mom friends, they understand the struggle Talk to me if you wanna vent too. |
7,312,054 | mommit | It is so hard and your feelings are valid, 100%. Hang in there. You’re a good mom. |
7,312,055 | mommit | We keep saying how ours is constantly making the case to be an only child |
7,312,056 | mommit | Hi did I write this?? When I have a short fuse and get sad, I know I need some alone time in SILENCE. And here’s the worst thing… I work full time at home and my son goes to nursery (2.5 yr) so I’m pretty sure I’d be at the edge of a cliff as a SAHM/Parent. I need more than just being a mom, even though I love my so... |
7,312,057 | mommit | I’m on year 3 as a SAHM. I wanted desperately to be one, and it was so blissful for the first 2 years. Sure it was hard, but I loved it. My oldest has ADHD and my youngest is very strong willed. It became extremely difficult and I lost more and more of myself everyday starting the beginning of last year. I was turning ... |
7,312,058 | mommit | I could have written this. It’s so hard. And for me I never really felt like I had a sense of self even before my son so the identity crisis is real. I want to go back to school but he’s been so high needs lately. I’ve even gotten excited about our free library days here locally but with rsv, flu etc running rampant I ... |
7,312,059 | mommit | I’ve been a SAHM for over a month now, and while I adore this opportunity, it can definitely be isolating. I immediately joined a weekly play group and music class. That helps us get out of the house! I’m looking forward to summer when we can spend more time outside. |
7,312,060 | mommit | SAME |
7,312,061 | mommit | Hi friend. I have nothing to say except thank you for being vulnerable because I am feeling the absolute same right now and felt like I was crazy or bad mom or like something was wrong with me. It’s helpful to know there are others, and if you needed that reminder, you got someone right here that feels the exact same. ... |
7,312,062 | mommit | I wish all of us could send our significant others to the park with our children while we talk about how hard this shit is while hanging out in a magical land of snacks and massages and quiet and whatever any of us want. Being a SAHP is so freaking hard. I'd like to be friends with anyone who gets it. |
7,312,063 | mommit | It sounds like you need some time to yourself. Easier said then done but I think if you put some you time aside you’ll feel a little better |
7,312,064 | mommit | Oof… I’m so glad I’m not the only one feeling this way… I have had 7 nights of uninterrupted sleep in the last year and a half, and husband just can’t relate because he doesn’t hear kiddo at night. He tries his best when he gets home from work, but I need a real break! Like, at least a weekend where I don’t have to thi... |
7,312,065 | mommit | I know it's easier said than done, but try to do something for **YOU**. Even if it's something small like reading a page or two from a book, or painting your nails. Even if it starts off small like 5-10 mins and as your child gets older you are able to extend it a little at a time. Do you have any family around that ca... |
7,312,066 | mommit | I was lucky enough to get a 12 month mat leave with my first and am 1/3 of the way into an 18 month one now. As much as I love my kids, I’m ready to go back near the end. It’s such a hard job! |
7,312,067 | mommit | This is how i am always feeling |
7,312,068 | mommit | I really struggled with all of these feelings while on maternity leave. Maybe being a SAHM isn’t right for you? I felt so much better when I went back to work. I get adult conversations and to drink coffee uninterrupted. Not everyone is meant to be a SAHP and that’s totally ok! |
7,312,069 | mommit | Hey Mama, I know exactly how you feel. My own hubby read your post over my shoulder and asked if I had posted this, because it sounds like what we had discussed a couple nights ago. I have no friends locally either. If you want to be online friends for moral support, send me a message! Maybe we can help each other! |
7,312,070 | mommit | Totally feel you. I personally hated being a SAHP and I think those that feel this way often play down how much it sucks because people misinterpret that sentiment as not loving your child. I adore my son more than life itself, but being home alone all day with him was mentally the hardest thing I’ve ever done. A ful... |
7,312,071 | mommit | This was exactly my situation. It started to get a little better after 4 months when I started sleep training. And then around 7 months we started going to the park daily sometimes 2-3 times a day and I started to meet a lot of the moms in the neighborhood. And then I started storytime at the library and that has been ... |
7,312,072 | mommit | I was miserable as a SAHM. It didn't get better til the kiddo started school. When she started first grade, I went back to work. |
7,312,073 | mommit | yeah i've been a sahm for 2 years now and i genuinely loved it when it was just me and my daughter, who was a baby and then a young toddler and then at 18 months i got pregnant again. then it was torture being sick and exhausted while caring for a toddler by myself all the time, and then my daughter turned 2 and turned... |
7,312,074 | mommit | I feel this way all the time. The only thing that helps me over the hump of each day is exercise. It flips a switch and makes the mountain of responsibility look much closer to hill that’s not so bad to hike up |
7,312,075 | mommit | I don’t know how stay at home parents do it long term. I’m on almost only 15 months and made the decision to go back to work. It’s just not for me! |
7,312,076 | mommit | My LO is only nine months and I’ve been feeling this way more and more. I don’t have my drivers license so that makes it even harder. I love my daughter so freaking much, and my husband and I are doing such a kick ass job for having no support. I’m hoping as she gets older it’ll get easier to do things I used to love t... |
7,312,077 | mommit | Make time in the day, everyday for YOU. Things that bring you joy even if that means giving your kid a tablet for an hour to sit next to you on your bed while you read a book or nap. Don’t put pressure on yourself to entertain and do it all, all the time. I’m a SAHM to an almost 4yo and 20 month old and also 35 weeks p... |
7,312,078 | mommit | It’s okay if being a SAHM isn’t for you. Some parents thrive and feel accomplished while doing it, and others don’t. I am definitely the latter; I want to work on my career, be creative, finish projects.. as an autistic person, I love projects with a clear beginning and end. And guess what NEVER has an end in sight? Ki... |
7,312,079 | mommit | I’ve always thought that being a SAHM must be so so isolating. If I stayed home myself and my husband worked all day it would’ve destroyed our relationship. I totally hear you and I just wanna show support to you. I truly truly believe that it will get better with time |
7,312,080 | mommit | while i was raising my daughter i had a 20 hr a week job in a wealthy neighborhood and i was very envious of all the SAHM’s. but then i heard repeated comments from many women. they would say how lucky i was to have this job and and they would do anything to have this kind of outlet. i stayed with my job am i am glad i... |
7,312,081 | mommit | SAHM of 3 year old twins. There is no more nap time and our daily visits to the park for a run is the only thing keeping me sane |
7,312,082 | mommit | Yes being a SAHM is SO hard. I used to be a nanny, so I thought I had this mom stuff in the bag. No problem I thought, I've been watching kids for years. Well, it's harder being a mom. I don't get weekends off, I'm so sleep deprived, I'm just always on and it's hard. I find myself getting a bit more frustrated with tod... |
7,312,083 | mommit | I felt better when I worked nights and was still like a stay-at-home Mom but yeah not to be considered if you NEED your sleep. I napped when they did so I was pro at getting them to sleep. |
7,312,084 | mommit | Definitely felt this way, and sometimes still do. You need a break, some time away just for you if you can. Can your husband request some time off so you can go see a friend? |
7,312,085 | mommit | You could try joining play groups. I actually developed a play group in my area I lived in. I had a 4 month old and a 18 month old at the time. My husband was constantly gone on week long, or months long trips. I was literally by myself with no help. The play group helped me connect, vent, and keep the kids entertai... |
7,312,086 | mommit | Could you find some time to get support like weekly or biweekly individual therapy? Might help with all the concerns you listed here. Mom is the hardest job. You're expected to do everything and anything ... we all need a village. |
7,312,087 | mommit | We moved around a lot when my kids were littles, and we had no family around. It took me years to learn that I NEED female friends. I figured out it takes me about 2 years in a new place to find and make a couple of friends. I’m an introvert, but I’m telling you, having other sahm friends is so much more important than... |
7,312,088 | mommit | I found that the local headstart in my area hosts playgroups for their EarlyOn program and half are open to the community. I credit this with how much less borderline suicidal I am now than last summer. That and the additionalsleepnow that she sleeps through the night. Being alone for long stretches of time with the on... |
7,312,089 | mommit | I was a SAHM for the first year and a half of my babies life and it was HARD. on top of being alone I had no family around because we lived in a different state. I was sad all the time. I had such a hard time communicating with anyone because I didn’t talk to anyone besides my daughter who didn’t talk and my husband wh... |
7,312,090 | mommit | Have you tried embracing your inner crazy? Idk it this is a thing, but eventually being a sahm drove me crazy- so now I just lean into it. Ok, I’m gonna smoke a little weed and get on the floor and play with LOL dolls for an hour, “Alexa, play who let the dogs out”, hey kid wanna make a fort, nachos sound good and fuck... |
7,312,091 | mommit | Put your toddler in day care a few days a week and get your husband to take the child for outings on the weekend- what is he doing on his time not at work..? It takes a long time of consistent time off to recover from this. I am a single Mum with no support and all the household responsibilities wtf is your husband doi... |
7,312,092 | mommit | From a mum who used to be a stay at home mum, who's now a working mum... Staying at home is SO hard. Power to all you stay at home mummas, I couldn't do it. |
7,312,093 | mommit | I wish I had good advice to give you, but I don’t. Instead, I just want to say that I understand how you feel. I never wanted to be a SAHM and was sort of forced into the situation for about a year. It was probably one of the worst years of my life. I love my children and family soooooo much, but I can’t be at home wit... |
7,312,094 | mommit | I’m a mom of 2 - hubs in med school and I suffer from chronic fatigue syndrome. I struggle with depression because of my pain and limitations. I’ve found audiobooks/listening to music or whatever I want with my AirPods helps me feel like I’m getting the mental stimulation that I crave (though I’m an introvert). Getting... |
7,312,095 | mommit | How old are your kids? Im just here to say i honestly feel like it does getter better as they get older. This stage that feels like hell as a SAHM doesnt last too long. |
7,312,096 | mommit | I have a hard time excepting that being a SAHM is the best thing for my family. I feel like I was taught my whole life to pursue school, get an education, a good career. I got my masters in accounting and had a good career. now I’m going on 11 years as a SAHM (4 kids ages 4,7,9,11) and I feel useless. I miss feeling s... |
7,312,097 | mommit | Wait wait! You need breaks during the day. You miss adults. This may help! Libraries have toddler hour. Swimming lessons. Church groups. Volunteer to watch babies during church services. You meet another parent! Make a date to have coffee. You need to get out and say hello. Take walks no matter what the weather. As is... |
7,312,098 | mommit | I had to send my first 2 littles to daycare, then when my third was born I was able to be a SAHM. Then I got this amazing job offer, so after my fourth was born, my husband became a SAHD. The hardest thing was dropping my kids off to strangers. It broke me every day at my desk at work. I would cry driving to and from... |
7,312,099 | mommit | My fiancée works 50 hour weeks and I was a stay at home mom exclusively for 6 months after I had my daughter. At that point, I “went back to work” serving two nights a week at my old job. I work 8-10 hours a week and I leave for work when my 10 month old is like eating dinner and getting ready to wind down for the nigh... |
7,312,100 | mommit | I could have written this exact post, word for word. The monotony and constantly being needed and feeling guilty for not always being who my kid deserves is relentless. I am not enjoying toddlerhood one bit, and I feel like I’ve lost myself in every way. I’m not the mother I want to be lately and I hate it. I’ve been i... |
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