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7,312,101 | mommit | I HEAR YOU. Nap time struggle is insane now, I don’t get it. It’s sad that how I “relax” is chores…but now I have to make sure my toddler doesn’t jump off the couch. It never ends. |
7,312,102 | mommit | I didn’t read your whole thing, but you are not worthless at all…not one bit. You are a hero. I am in the same boat. Well, I should say I was in the same boat. Same as some other posters I realized that I needed to do some thing for me that made me feel accomplished even though raising a child or multiple children is t... |
7,312,103 | mommit | I found a gym I can take my baby to!! It gets me out and about. My baby loves it and I feel so much better. Is that an option for you? |
7,312,104 | mommit | I’m a work outside the home mom and let me tell you…. I thought I wanted to be a SAHM when I was younger. What I actually wanted was to be independently wealthy and child free lol. Maternity leave taught me I was NOT cut out to stay home with a kid all day, every day. Going back to work was easier than being a SAHM. I ... |
7,312,105 | mommit | Is being a SAHM your only option? It’s not something I think I could handle. |
7,312,106 | mommit | It sounds like you shoukd seek treatment for depression. At least counciling, and maybe medication. I was *super* resistant to going on meds, but just a low dose really pulls me up when nothing else would. |
7,312,107 | mommit | Try to find events and activities that other moms would take their children to and befriend some! If you have some friends in the same boat as you it’s super easy to start sharing the load and they can watch your little while you get alone time and vis versa! Also take a day on the weekend and find a hobby that gives ... |
7,312,108 | mommit | I have felt exactly the same way. I also realized that for myself, that feeling of deep despair was actually pretty serious depression and I got myself some meds and therapy. It has helped a lot, but yes this is a very lonely job for sure. Have you joined Peanut? It’s an app that connects with you other moms in your t... |
7,312,109 | mommit | This is great advice. Personally, for me it involves napping when I can. There’s nothing better than zoning out on my couch and falling asleep even just for a bit. |
7,312,110 | mommit | I like this perspective! I have been embracing crafting when I can, or other projects for me. It keeps me sane. |
7,312,111 | mommit | Wow this is amazing advice. Seriously |
7,312,112 | mommit | Yesss. It’s so lame but I’ve started making these little videos (unshared) chronicling our lives like a TikToker. I couldn’t work out why I like doing it but you’ve put words to this that I hadn’t thought about. They still exist at the end of the week- I made something that no one unmade! |
7,312,113 | mommit | “Things that can’t be taken away” by time. What more does this moment lack? ;) |
7,312,114 | mommit | You can definitely lose yourself in your mommy duties, that is why you have to have some time set aside just for you. A time to breath and then time for fun. Even if you have to get a sitter to do it once a week. Never forget about yourself! And you don’t have to preface everything with how wonderful you think motherho... |
7,312,115 | mommit | Yup. I'm going on 20 yrs and I cry every morning because I want a wife of my own so at least somebody will care for me too the way I care for everyone, everything and all the pets too. |
7,312,116 | mommit | I definitely cried while writing the post. Sending hugs your way. |
7,312,117 | mommit | Same here. I'm glad I'm not alone in this feeling because sometimes I feel like I am. |
7,312,118 | mommit | Joining in to say I also feel this way. Kind of sucks to hear it continues once they’re older too (mine is 10 weeks) |
7,312,119 | mommit | Finding mom friends makes such a huge difference! I had my first baby really young and none of my friends had settled down. I felt so isolated. It was also hard to make friends with other moms because i was so much younger, and I didn’t have the energy to put in the effort. Now with my second, I have friends who are m... |
7,312,120 | mommit | I’m really glad this worked for you. Everyone I have approached has either ignored me cause they already have friends, or are just snobbish. I get we’re all tired moms but you’d think they’d be looking for the same thing too. |
7,312,121 | mommit | Agreed! It was really lonely until I joined a Moms Club group in my area. It sounds pretty silly, but it was 50 instant SAHM friends. That was a decade ago, and a lot of us still keep in touch with each other. My group had playdates on the calendar every weekday of the year. Side note, I went back to work full tim... |
7,312,122 | mommit | Me too. The single hardest job I’ve ever done. I worked 30 hours a week in a lab, on my feet and using my brain all day, on top of full time college. I worked the corporate 9-5 with a long commute. I worked in fast food. Nothing has been as physically and emotionally draining as staying at home. There are a lot of ben... |
7,312,123 | mommit | The mindless scrolling has become my only hobby. But you’re right, after an hour I feel even worse. Like where did that time go? My husband is pretty amazing not only is he an active father he’s also active with keeping the house together. Maybe I could talk to him about doing more outside of the house on the weekends…... |
7,312,124 | mommit | Thank you. I think another poster said the same about utilizing the local YMCA. I think it’s time I do the same. |
7,312,125 | mommit | At what age did you start taking your kid to the Y? I’ve been considering it but outside of family, my 13 month old has only stayed with me. I’m nervous about it but desperate for a break. |
7,312,126 | mommit | This is how I’m feeling. Staying at home has been tough but it’s a job I’m willing to push through because it’s meaningful. Unlike every other job I’ve ever had. What other job will you be able to go your whole life seeing the fruit of your labor? |
7,312,127 | mommit | THIS |
7,312,128 | mommit | I feel this. My oldest is 18 and my youngest is 14, I am still going through this. I tried to do a project at home and eventually gave up on finishing it because of not being able to have "me" time. Everyone in the family tells me that you have plenty of time to do stuff but they don't understand that 30 minutes (mostl... |
7,312,129 | mommit | We had the option of me doing SAH after my second was born. I told my husband I don’t do well without lots of “hats” to challenge me in different ways. “Professional” me gets a lot of personal growth and self-worth from challenging myself intellectually and socially at work. I just don’t get the same kind of personal g... |
7,312,130 | mommit | Exactly what you said about switching onto a different subject mentally, like I’ve only been a SAHM/mom in general for the past year now and I brought up that same point to my husband when he went back to work. Yes work is always hard, but I see it as you LITERALLY GETTING TO LEAVE THE HOUSE AND BE YOUR OWN PERSON IN T... |
7,312,131 | mommit | The gym is my sanctuary! |
7,312,132 | mommit | This may sound crazy and I mean, I probably am at this point, but I would be so nervous to leave my kids with someone at the Y or a gym. I've looked into it, I've thought about it a lot...I just don't know if I could do it. What's the worst that could happen in a few hours in that type of setting? Idk. But I don't thin... |
7,312,133 | mommit | The no days off! That’s what I was trying to tell my husband. While I understand he technically doesn’t have days off either but he gets actual breaks from the toddler/house. He gets to drive in the car alone with peace and quiet. Also, he never has to worry about what’s for dinner… |
7,312,134 | mommit | Word. |
7,312,135 | mommit | This. Sacrifice. That’s a great term to use. I am sacrificing everything to be a mom/wife. Thank you. |
7,312,136 | mommit | Yes! Summed up perfectly. I love my only so so much some days I just think I want MORE MORE MORE! Of that but I know the stress would start to outweigh the joy.Makes me wonder whats wrong with me?! Clearly other mother's must be mentally so much stronger than me.My best mate is trying for a second and I can't help feel... |
7,312,137 | mommit | I could have written this myself. Felt the same way as OP, spoke to my GP about my anxiety, and started a small dose of Zoloft. I feel the best I have felt mentally in a long time. It makes me feel more like myself and makes things feel more manageable. |
7,312,138 | mommit | Seconding the toddler classes. Aside from you getting to meet people in the same boat, it is so nice to be able to have your child stimulated, learning and getting tired without it all being on you to provide the activities. |
7,312,139 | mommit | Completely agree. Thank you. I definitely need to look into more toddler classes around the area. Maybe that’s what I’m missing? A schedule of different activities. |
7,312,140 | mommit | I’d love to. I was one semester away from getting my graduate degree. But with prices going up and not being able to afford daycare, what’s the point? Might as well be a baby making machine… |
7,312,141 | mommit | I love playing video games as well but I find it really hard to play at night after my little goes to bed. I’m so exhausted from the day that I can’t even comprehend what free time is let alone play video games. |
7,312,142 | mommit | I live in IL and my little just turned 2. |
7,312,143 | mommit | It is unfortunately. We can’t afford daycare. |
7,312,144 | mommit | I can’t wait until mine are a little older and can just nap in bed with me. The 15 month old naps in his crib. The 9 week old needs to get it together. |
7,312,145 | mommit | Big fan of napping!!! |
7,312,146 | mommit | Omg having a wife would be THE BEST!!! |
7,312,147 | mommit | Have you seen this essay, I want a wife ? I too want a wife https://www.wsfcs.k12.nc.us/cms/lib/NC01001395/Centricity/Domain/10659/I%20Want%20a%20Wife.pdf |
7,312,148 | mommit | This!!!!!! |
7,312,149 | mommit | 20 years?! And you still cry? I’m going on 4 years with 3 kids and we homeschool. It was tough at first but I made conscious changes to make sure I could get out of that funk. I prioritized myself first and that made me a better parent. Is it perfect… oh hell no. Do I still have off days, heck yes. But I would never in... |
7,312,150 | mommit | No it gets better! With each phase comes hardship but also lots of joy! I have chronic depression and I’m telling you this..so hang in there and enjoy each phase! It goes quickly in retrospect! |
7,312,151 | mommit | While there are always sucky parts, the growth and ever-changing quality of motherhood will keep mixing it up. Some days the “current” development better suits you than others. Dwell on the fun each day and try to forget the rest. I once knew a woman who saved her memories on a calendar. (Not as much pressure as a diar... |
7,312,152 | mommit | I agree. It’s so hard to make friends. I’ve tried. Put myself out there. Asked for numbers and tried planning play dates. Just to get blown off… |
7,312,153 | mommit | They always end up trying to rope me into their MLM |
7,312,154 | mommit | Do you have a Lowe’s or Home Depot? Once a month on a Saturday they have what we call building school. It’s free to do. Lowes you have to register and Home Depot you just show up. My husband does this with my son, because it’s a great opportunity to teach him how to use tools. This could be a fun daddy activity. |
7,312,155 | mommit | I guess about a year ago. I wish I could have done it sooner, but he was a Covid baby, so didn’t really get much chance due to that. |
7,312,156 | mommit | This is EXACTLY right! My kids are 20, 14, 10 and 4. I have been trying to figure out why I can't ever really do anything I want to do. I mean, logically, I have the time. Or should have the time. But 30 minutes to 2 hours ( if my youngest naps) is just enough time to get out of mom mode, breathe and then oh, he's awak... |
7,312,157 | mommit | I mean, my daycare won’t even let me inside because of security precautions. At least at the gym I can literally see my child playing if I swing by the care area. |
7,312,158 | mommit | It's not crazy at all. I found that the more I didn't go out, the more anxiety I had about going anywhere with my kids or alone. It gets better the more everyone gets used to it. |
7,312,159 | mommit | He doesn’t have the mental load that we, as the primary caregiver, undertake every day. I had to literally write it down for my significant other to understand. He still doesn’t understand what goes into running a household! |
7,312,160 | mommit | Yes sacrifice in terms of everything about your pre kid life , I always say when asked I didn’t know having a kid meant not even being able to enjoy sitting on the couch relaxing anymore |
7,312,161 | mommit | I book a class most days and it’s the best. Gets us out of the house and chatting to other mums |
7,312,162 | mommit | I feel the same way as you and went on my first play date today. I already feel more hopeful and excited. I think a mom friend would do you well |
7,312,163 | mommit | If you don’t enjoy being a SAHM and you liked your career, there has to be a way to figure it out. Nanny share. Home day care. Something. You shouldn’t be forced to do this if there are other options and you don’t actually want to do it. There’s also a cost to your mental health and happiness. Being a working mom is ... |
7,312,164 | mommit | I hear you about evenings being exhausting. But you need to take care of yourself before you burn out. You matter. You deserve to have your needs met, too, not just your family's. Take it from someone who has burned out before, it's not pretty. Pass the little one off to your husband on days he's not working, maybe i... |
7,312,165 | mommit | On the phone my (incarcerated) ex last night said our only should have a sibling. While i was laughing loudy, all I could think was I wouldn't be able to work bc I wouldn't be able to afford daycare for 2 kids but if I didn't work, how would we live? He's an idiot. But how do people even afford more than one kid. Jfc. |
7,312,166 | mommit | I have a wife and it *is* **THE BEST!!!** I'm a SAHP, since covid (our oldest was 18 months). Then we had our baby, who is now almost 2. In the last year, my wife (who I must add works full time but also helps with housework, does 90% of the grocery shopping and making dinner) signed me up for a pottery class so I co... |
7,312,167 | mommit | This post really hurt me. I used to be a shiny new wife too, with shiny young kids that I could somewhat steer in the directions that were necessary. I used to homeschool too until it became too much to handle. We have dealt with poverty, hunger, and we were redlined and lost our house in our 30s and that was really ha... |
7,312,168 | mommit | I am trying to use this as a way to enjoy the struggles. Focusing on how future me will wish to be me right now. Parenting can be hard, but it helps me stay grateful overall. |
7,312,169 | mommit | Ok, so I made a mom friend in the ER. Both our kiddos were sick and we had a long wait. We eventually found one another on social media and wanted to plan a play date....it took 2 MONTHS. Lots of rescheduling, lots of cancellations, but eventually we got together. Mom life is HARD. People definitely flake, but my rule ... |
7,312,170 | mommit | At this point I don’t even want friends, just want to be alone in silence |
7,312,171 | mommit | Yeah I don’t understand the mom judgement or cliques at all. We aren’t in HS anymore. |
7,312,172 | mommit | I joined a pole/aerial fitness studio a few years ago because I had almost no friends. It has turned into such a wonderful, supportive community and I get to escape and do something just for myself for a couple of hours a few times a week. Play dates are great, but I highly recommend finding a community or hobby *out... |
7,312,173 | mommit | My town has a meet up for moms. I found it in the towns Facebook group. There is also the organization Hike It Baby, which I definitely recommend. Also, your partner didn't work 24/7. At least once a week, you need to get some me time. Alone time when you do no Housework. Go for a walk by yourself, join a choir, ch... |
7,312,174 | mommit | The Peanut app! It’s like Mom Tinder |
7,312,175 | mommit | Try peanut. I’ve made really good friends through it and you can weed out the ones you feel won’t make an effort |
7,312,176 | mommit | I’ve heard of these before! Do you know what the minimum age is? My son is 25 months and loves tools. I feel like he could be ready to learn how to use them. |
7,312,177 | mommit | #mommodeburnout |
7,312,178 | mommit | That makes so much sense. Thank you |
7,312,179 | mommit | And any time he tries to “help” I end up having to fix it. Like grocery shopping for example, I’ll write the list and he’ll offer to do the shopping. And while that sounds nice, it isn’t. He either forgets something or comes home with so much junk food. Also, he’s tried making the list himself and just has no idea. End... |
7,312,180 | mommit | That’s actually a great idea. I started playing more sandbox type games so that I can play for a small amount of time but still feel good about it. But keeping a notebook would be nice. |
7,312,181 | mommit | God I feel this in my bones. My cousin lives literally 5 minutes away from me, we’re super close but we maybe met 4 times in the past year. Our daughters are one year apart and there is always someone sick or someone who stayed up all night or whatever it is that would make one of us cancel. We can hardly catch each ot... |
7,312,182 | mommit | Same. I have friends and too many obligations as is |
7,312,183 | mommit | It costs money now though, to see your “matches” |
7,312,184 | mommit | I call it mom tinder all the time! Lol I joined when I was pregnant but it gave me such social anxiety because I'm soooo bad at meeting people face to face when we've only chatted on the internet. I get mad anxiety about it. So I ghosted all the people I'd been talking to, and deleted the app. I felt so bad. But I need... |
7,312,185 | mommit | I don’t, I’m sorry. We started picking the kits up during the pandemic when he was 2 and 3. |
7,312,186 | mommit | Yes do it! What system(s) do play on? I'm on the Switch and Steam, if you want to be friends! |
7,312,187 | mommit | Really?! That must be a new change? |
7,312,188 | mommit | No problem, thanks! |
7,312,189 | mommit | Absolutely. Im on steam as well. Play mostly on the PC. Pm for my gamertag. |
7,312,190 | mommit | Yes! It has the people that waved at you blurred out and you have to pay a monthly subscription fee! |
7,312,191 | mommit | That's going on the wall I bet! So cute! |
7,312,192 | mommit | how beautiful! |
7,312,193 | mommit | Oh myyy that’s such an adorabile and wholesome photo |
7,312,194 | mommit | How they're looking at each other is just adorable. Also, amazing hair on both of them! |
7,312,195 | mommit | So cute!!! |
7,312,196 | mommit | Aww, this is precious! |
7,312,197 | mommit | You should be!! It's amazing! |
7,312,198 | mommit | Was she giving the flower to daddy? Because she doesn't look like she has any intention of letting go of it, haha |
7,312,199 | mommit | @r/aww |
7,312,200 | mommit | Love this!!! |
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