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7,312,701 | mommit | I feel like gender colors run so deep in some of us. Maybe it’s how we are raised , maybe it’s what we are taught (parents, teachers , society) but my mom had bought my son 2 pairs of valentines pjs one pair was black with white X and Os the other was white with pink hearts and other details. My first thought was oh no... |
7,312,702 | mommit | My son likes pink and likes glittery things but that doesn’t make him any less of a boy. They are kids, let them be innocent. If that baby wants to use the pink cup then grandma needs to get over it. It’s not her son and you raise him however you see fit. YOU and DAD are the decision makers, not her. If she doesn’t lik... |
7,312,703 | mommit | If you want to be petty, do what I do: feign shock and say, “Oh my god you’re right, if he wears (uses something etc) pink HIS PENIS WILL FALL OFF” |
7,312,704 | mommit | I always let my kids pick what color they want at the store and until about 3.5, my oldest would generally pick pink or purple. (The tablet case is even pink, and he picked that out too.) Thankfully my family is very "it's just a cup" about it, so I've never had issues. His hair, however, is another story entirely. I ... |
7,312,705 | mommit | I invoke inductive reasoning. "Do horses get to own a colour?" This will usually be met with an incredulous look. If they are confused, I would rephrase it asking if there is a colour only horses are allowed to like. "Do old people get to own a colour?" "Do girls get to own a colour?" with a skeptical tone. "... |
7,312,706 | mommit | I would counter it when she says it. I've had to do stuff with my parents. "You screamed like a GIRL" "hey mom, don't make girl sound like an insult, uncle screamed high pitched and that's funny but it's not bad to be like a girl!". Then my kids are right away shown that these kinda of distinctions aren't for us. I... |
7,312,707 | mommit | My plan for whenever someone tries to force any of my kids into gendered bullshit is to equal their ridiculousness: tell them "oh, no it's okay, we're actually trying to make him/her gay." I feel like that effectively communicates what I'm really trying to say, which is "you're being fucking stupid right now." |
7,312,708 | mommit | When my oldest was around 5 yrs old, his favorite color was pink. He told me Grammy (MIL) said something. The next time she mentioned it, he said “that colors don’t make him a boy, penis does”. She’s an extremely religious woman who didn’t see that coming lmao. She shut her trap about colors after that. It’s funny ... |
7,312,709 | mommit | “That’s just a silly thing that old people say.” Is how I get around most of the things the grandparents say. |
7,312,710 | mommit | My fil is always claiming he won’t ever buy my kids any “household toys” bc they’re too girly. I’m talking kitchens, toy spin mops, brooms. Like that’s fine bc your son and I as well as my mother bought it for him he doesn’t have a kitchen, he has toy pots and pans, food, spin mop, spray bottle and rag and a vacuum ... |
7,312,711 | mommit | I had an issue with an obtuse family member who cried out about my kids (boys) hair every single time they saw them. I started making buns and braids with purple bows and elastics. Kids loved it. Family member stopped shaming. Drove the point home. As for your MIL, from now on, it's pink cups and plates and bowls an... |
7,312,712 | mommit | I hope he screams his head off when she won't give him the pink cup and she relents and cuts the nonsense. |
7,312,713 | mommit | Were we supposed to remove everything pink and purple from our houses as soon as we found out we were having boys? It’s a cup, who cares? Use it when she’s not there. |
7,312,714 | mommit | Ugh my parents drive me crazy with the same shit. I just say what the “rules” are (anyone can have any color cup, cups don’t have gender, etc) and they can pout if they want. Oh and then I just passive aggressively dressed my daughter as a baby in blue all the time because they had the nerve to not like that. She has ... |
7,312,715 | mommit | Keep doing what you’re doing, mama! Your son benefits from being able to make his own choices and pink is a great color for anyone. My son has this Fischer price house that he LOVES. When my MIL saw it she said, “he has a DOLL HOUSE?!?” First of all, no, it’s just a house, second who cares. He also loves cars and tra... |
7,312,716 | mommit | Colors games and clothes don’t have a gender grandmaaaaa lol they’re things not people |
7,312,717 | mommit | My mum's boyfriend does this a lot with 'girl jobs' (cleaning etc) and boy jobs (diy etc). Last time he said it I asked which part of the job required a vagina or breasts. He shut up pretty quickly. |
7,312,718 | mommit | Next time MIL wears anything besides pink, purple, or yellow, comment that she looks like a man and you can't believe shed ever where that color. Maybe follow it up with "unless of course colors aren't gender specific..." Maybe she'll get it. |
7,312,719 | mommit | My son has a pink coat. He *insisted* , I tried multicolor- nope. I don’t mind but I didn’t want him to catch hell in Kindergarten. He rocks that thing. |
7,312,720 | mommit | Buy the book Pink is for Boys and leave it out for grandma lol |
7,312,721 | mommit | Off to /r/justnomil for you! I look forward to your posts. |
7,312,722 | mommit | I have an older child and he started going “Colors don’t have genitalia so how do you know who it is for?” I giggled. My youngest son loved pink and purple for the longest time. My daughter paints his nails and he loves it. Such ass backward thinking. I’m a girl and I personally dislike pink. Grandparents suck sometime... |
7,312,723 | mommit | I would put my foot down with her RIGHT NOW! If you don't she will think that she can eventually make all the decisions for YOUR child. Stop it now. |
7,312,724 | mommit | Your husband needs to tell his mum to knock it off. My MIL always had a problem with us raising our son bilingual (believe it causes speech delay. She's not against teaching it. Just believe we should teach one language at a time. When delay didn't happen, she then says if we didn't raise him bilingual, he would have... |
7,312,725 | mommit | Man. I am so thankful for my in laws in this regard. It's funny because my MIL seriously is one of the most conservative people on the planet, and seems to really care about appearances. My 3 year old boy loves pink. It's his favorite color. He likes having his nails painted, makeup on, princesses, and he chose a bee ... |
7,312,726 | mommit | Ha my in laws aren’t malicious but they are deeply programmed with boys must be masculine girls are in dresses and feminine. My son picked out a sequined cocktail dress and paired it with a kicky pair of fireman boots. Then he proudly tromped into their house with his zazzy number. I watched my in laws brains nearly sh... |
7,312,727 | mommit | May I recommend a book.... Pink is for boys. Grandma needs to read it though LOL |
7,312,728 | mommit | “Grandma grew up a lonnnng time ago, almost when dinosaurs were here. Do you want to paint your nails sweethear?” |
7,312,729 | mommit | It’s a fucking cup…. Who cares? And making pink a forbidden color is probably going to have the opposite effect than grandma intends. |
7,312,730 | mommit | My husband and I used to work at a local grocery store, that’s actually how we met so When i go in my boys always get balloons. Our oldest always asked for pink or purple balloons and my former manager tried getting him to change his mind by suggesting “what about blue or green?” I always insisted he got the color he r... |
7,312,731 | mommit | It’s a fucking color. Lol. A COLOR. |
7,312,732 | mommit | My FIL made the mistake of referring to a pair of sweatpants he gave me as gay. I put them on and came out to the living room and said “no rainbows. I don’t get it? Did they fuck you?” This mentality is carried over into grand/parenting. “Why are you wearing nail polish/eye shadow/a tutu? That’s gay!” “Because we’re f... |
7,312,733 | mommit | I hope this doesn’t get too lost in the comments, but look up ‘teeny tiny Stevies’ they have the best kids songs and one is about boy and girl colours and them not being a real thing. Also lots of other great songs with meaning that aren’t painful to listen to as a parent. |
7,312,734 | mommit | It’s funny how people don’t have a problem with girls using blue or green cups but boys using pink or purple cups is a big “oh no”! Hopefully with our generation, this “rule” will outgrow itself. Colors are just colors and that’s that. |
7,312,735 | mommit | My kiddo loved pink and purple for a while, and still likes them but has moved onto orange more now. But for his birthday he chose the pink Birthday Princess shirt for his build a bear birthday bear, and the tiara and wand. And he chose the rainbow bag to put it in. I was so grateful the worker just complimented him on... |
7,312,736 | mommit | Colors don’t have genders |
7,312,737 | mommit | So annoying .. it’s a freaking cup. And pink is just a color. I hate that everything is still so separated by gender. I ordered my daughter underwear this morning- she wanted blues clues. The only girl underwear I could find was mostly magenta and like tickety and mailbox bc they’re pink/purple. Blue is on a couple pai... |
7,312,738 | mommit | Pink was originally a boys color. Tell her you're son is just old fashion. |
7,312,739 | mommit | She was raised in a different time, she’s stuck. It’s unfortunate, but at the end of the day well your hubby said it best. Let it go. |
7,312,740 | mommit | I agree with others that if it doesn't stop some gentle shaming never hurt lol We've only had one comment from a family member and it was quickly shut down by *other* family members and I was shook. I just got my little boy some Barbies for Easter today along with a full Mario set #ToysAreToys |
7,312,741 | mommit | My son has absolutely beautiful shoulder length curly blonde hair. Like, grown women are jealous of his hair. And he loves wearing it long. I’ve asked him if he wants to cut it and he always says no, and we are fine with that. I just always want him to know he has the option to choose how he wears it. My dad always tol... |
7,312,742 | mommit | Pink used to be the color for boys, since it’s a derivative of red which is considered a strong color. Blue was for girls, soft and soothing. Then women were like “fuck that! We’re strong!” and took pink for baby girls. So ask your MIL if you want him to be a strong boy, and she’ll say yes bc she sounds like the type t... |
7,312,743 | mommit | My son has always preferred pink, but he’s very much “all boy” like yours. I think it’s because he doesn’t see the color much. He also like me to paint his toenails. My ex MIL hates it. He also has sparkly rainbow butterfly sunglasses. Who cares what they like? You’re right. And since he’s your kid if you feel like yo... |
7,312,744 | mommit | [deleted] |
7,312,745 | mommit | We waited for the birth to find out the gender of my son, but we decorated the nursery in a Star Wars theme… my mother was terrified I was going to have a girl, since the nursery (and most of the clothes) were “boy themed.” 1- I, a woman, enjoy Star Wars, and the theme was largely my idea. 2- my infant child won’t c... |
7,312,746 | mommit | Fun fact: pink used to be the color for boys (because red was a manly color in France due to the king’s colors) and blue was for girls. Somehow we switched it around. Gee…I guess all this color stuff is all meaningless crap then, huh? |
7,312,747 | mommit | I was at the store the one day and i saw a man with his toddler son and infant baby and he told his son these are toys for your sissy not you. Meanwhile my son was looking and playing with the dolls. My response to my son. You will be such a good daddy one day. It made me kind of annoyed because it was a doll sectio... |
7,312,748 | mommit | You can tell grandma that way back in the day pink was for boys and blue was for girls, it will blow her mind. |
7,312,749 | mommit | I knew my family and my in-laws were going to be this way so I set the expectation when I found out I was pregnant. Before we knew the sex grandpa gave us a box of dvds that had Jojo Siwa movies in it and he said "if you end up having a boy you can just donate those to someone else" and I said "no, there is nothing wr... |
7,312,750 | mommit | Think of it this way, grandma is going to give you lots of opportunities to talk to your son about how WRONG she is. Talking about this with a friend the other day and his plan is, when grandma makes unacceptable comments, to immediately pull his son to the side and explain that grandma is wrong, even if grandma noti... |
7,312,751 | mommit | Shut that shit down. If speaking with her doesn’t work, then get petty. Shame her every time she does or says something not ultra feminine. If that still doesn’t work, she doesn’t get to come around. I got shamed for wanting to be a masculine woman for years and it took until I was in my 30s to really come to grips w... |
7,312,752 | mommit | I'm mostly traditional with my daughter's clothes and style, and she likes the girly things too, but we also have a bin of small trucks and cars and other "boy" toys. She is definitely aware there is a boy section and a girl section in the store, and I like the distinction. Despite this, we have that MarioKart shirt sh... |
7,312,753 | mommit | wt- no just no she has no say in this, no one has any say in this let the boy choose what he likes |
7,312,754 | mommit | My parents are mostly wonderful and they’re very loving, but they can be this way sometimes. More so my dad than my mom. I just ignore it, if my dad ever says anything I put an end to it. “Silly papa, toys don’t have gender.” In our house my son digs for bugs and plays ninjas in a tiara or Elsa dress. They’re just to... |
7,312,755 | mommit | My three year old son enjoys doing makeup with mommy. It’s fun for us. I use either my powder sponge or a clean blush brush on his cheeks and some chapstick. We talk about doing things that we enjoy. My parents are gonna lose it when I tell them. I don’t care. I’m doing right by my kid by exposing him to things in the ... |
7,312,756 | mommit | My MIL lives 35 min away but has seen my daughter maybe 10 times. She comes over to bring her a birthday gift. She didn’t know that I was downstairs near the entrance, as she walks through the door she asks my husband “where’s the little asshole?” (in my language) that was the last time I saw her. I cut her out of our ... |
7,312,757 | mommit | Yea...I would nip this in the bud. My brother is a sweet, kind man who had to work through some serious self esteem issues due to deeply ingrained sexism because of comments like that. Being his sister wasn't always fun, and it nearly ruined our relationship. Thankfully he learned, but it did a lot of damage to himself... |
7,312,758 | mommit | Yeah, my MIL was like that with my b/g twins for a split second until I told her in no uncertain terms to cut it out or we would. She still falls back on old habits sometimes but never overtly anymore. Especially with my son who loves wearing dresses and flowers and rainbows, she knows that if she ever once shamed him,... |
7,312,759 | mommit | Tell her that originally pink was a men’s color and shame her anytime she wears it lol |
7,312,760 | mommit | At 15 months he’s starting to understand. By 19 he’ll know grandma is saying it us t for him. |
7,312,761 | mommit | I'm sorry. That must be super frustrating. I have a daughter and I'm lucky that my family don't say anything about her having "boy" things. I must admit the only problem I have with her getting boy shoes is that they're a lot bigger than girl shoes in those sizes. Just keep encouraging your son to be who he wants to b... |
7,312,762 | mommit | I refuse to let my kids be poisoned by this garbage. Shut it down fast. |
7,312,763 | mommit | Ugh same with my mum. I think it’s soooo important to let people express themselves when they are young. I said if my baby chooses to wear pink or butterflies or glitter or skirts then it’s important that we let him. Otherwise it causes a disconnect and makes him think men can only be masculine and messes them up in th... |
7,312,764 | mommit | Yeah, no I wouldn’t have given her now to change the cup or even have an opinion on how you’re raising your child. |
7,312,765 | mommit | Oof, she’s really dislike being around my son then. He loves Dinosaurs and cars, but loves the color pink and flowers of all sorts (but I garden so he could be biased lol). Grandma let the child explore who they are! |
7,312,766 | mommit | Ok, first of all this whole blue and pink thing was just marketing in the 1920s by department stores to sell more clothes. Up until three or four kids just wore tunic/dress type stuff that was white (easy to clean/bleach), but some marketing guy realized is they hyper genderized clothes then people might have to buy m... |
7,312,767 | mommit | When my first son was a toddler he loved Paw Patrol and he loved airplanes, so (logically) he loved Skye. I bought the 4 pack of Paw Patrol cups from Target and let him choose his pup cup each day and he picked Skye 50% of the time. Yes, the cup was pink and no one made it weird. What would be weird to me is someone sh... |
7,312,768 | mommit | My friend gave me a pacifier clip thing that her daughter didn’t use anymore, it’s pink and flowery. I clipped it on my son’s car seat so we don’t lose the pacifier in the car and it’s easy to reach back there and find it and stick it in his mouth. The number of comments I’ve gotten on that thing is nuts. “Why do you h... |
7,312,769 | mommit | I’d have a sit down chat in regards to boundaries and how you are approaching the topic of gender/gendered items colours etc in your family. Id keep it just like any other boundary you have, this stuff matters. At this day and age even more so than before. Much love, a mom with a boy who wears purple dresses, pink sho... |
7,312,770 | mommit | One thing I've built on as my kids have gotten older is the confidence to be vocal. Once they are talking (and bear in mind they understand long before that) I will be vocal for their benefit if someone says something utterly stupid like this. I'd have just said "pink is a colour and anyone can like it" and then redire... |
7,312,771 | mommit | Can you just politely but firmly correct her without it being a big confrontation? I've had some conflict with my MIL but I stick to my guns bc yeah, I'm the mom. She doesn't back down or agree with me but she knows the subtext of our conversation and usually she is rational enough to know that if there's too much conf... |
7,312,772 | mommit | I think it's just a different way of thinking, and I don't think it's necessarily fair to expect somebody from a completely different generation to just override what they have been taught, probably in a far more forceful way than we ever were. We're fortunate in that we have the Internet, millions of online communit... |
7,312,773 | mommit | I pushed back hard on this stuff at 15 months and now at almost 4 my son can play with dinosaurs in his Elsa dress without any grandparent saying anything. FIL might spontaneously combust one day but he stays quiet. |
7,312,774 | mommit | Boys (4 and 2) needed new shoes and my mom was with us when they picked pink rainbow shoes she tried so hard to get them to change their minds. I’m like they won’t even be pink for long who cares. I also kept my oldest hair long only cutting it cause his brother started pulling it. My mom made such a big deal out of hi... |
7,312,775 | mommit | Solution, go back in time, have a daughter first and now new baby boy only gets purple pink cups and princess plates my son does not gaf. |
7,312,776 | mommit | I find the best way to deal with comments like this is to just be super confident in my stance. I act like what they just said is as ludicrous as saying, “pink is only for alligators!” Them: “why are his nails painted?!” Me: “he wanted to have colorful toes.” “Child, isn’t it fun to have sparkly rainbow toes?” |
7,312,777 | mommit | So, my mom in law has 3 ex husband's. She knows I'm close to my husband's dad, as he adores me and his grand babies. He also respects our decisions, unlike my mom in law......well, I'm going on year 19 of marriage to my husband. His mom STILL tries to give us marriage and parenting "advice". Of course it's always with ... |
7,312,778 | mommit | I told my dad straight up. “If you say anything to him about the clothes he wears, his hair, his nails or how anything is for boys or girls you won’t be welcome around him anymore.” Never heard another peep. |
7,312,779 | mommit | My mom does this too. I let my son paint his nails, wear whatever he wants, watch “girl shows” and play with “girl toys”. Hes also into a lot of stereotypical little boy things. He’s three, I just let him like what he likes, and when an adult shames him for liking something I lose it. How dare someone give your kid a c... |
7,312,780 | mommit | Oh hell. Are you in the South? |
7,312,781 | mommit | Lol great idea. Grandma better throw away all her blue jeans. Blue is for boys. Pink outfits only grandma! |
7,312,782 | mommit | I looooove this!! Now, how to I do something like this to my FIL who doesn't have anything girly |
7,312,783 | mommit | This reminds me of when MIL was talking s*** about her brother's new partner, who had been in a previous marriage. My MIL is divorced, but not by her choice, and doesn't like to talk about it. She even still calls my FIL "her husband" even though he is remarried and she also has had a couple of relationships afterwar... |
7,312,784 | mommit | Ooooo she should do this and have a pink shirt on deck in Grandma's size, demand she changes into it while visiting....I REALLY like your style @itscalledfreefall |
7,312,785 | mommit | lol I like your style |
7,312,786 | mommit | I am Latina, and one of my twin boys (4-5 at the time) had painted nails because his older sister painted their nails. He loved it! My FIL (typical macho Latino) commented on it. My husband just smirked and looked at me. He said, "That's for girls." I said,"It's for everyone. But let's take your supposition that bein... |
7,312,787 | mommit | I’m cackling. My in-laws and parents are a dream but this had me losing my mind laughing. |
7,312,788 | mommit | I need to remember this! That is awesome!! |
7,312,789 | mommit | Love this |
7,312,790 | mommit | This is… hilarious and a geniusly petty way to deal with this type nonsense. |
7,312,791 | mommit | Love this |
7,312,792 | mommit | This is amazing, I’ve never thought of that and will use it if needed! |
7,312,793 | mommit | Hahahah this made me snort laugh. That’s excellent. |
7,312,794 | mommit | Love this haha |
7,312,795 | mommit | I read this in Ms. Rachel’s voice. |
7,312,796 | mommit | I love this. I'm going to put this away for later use too |
7,312,797 | mommit | My son has a set of paw patrol socks. It included Skye, so I thought things were improving. But the sock is blue, not pink. Because apparently boys can't even wear pink socks?! Also, it sounds like you are doing a great job! This is exactly how I'm trying to raise my boys. |
7,312,798 | mommit | This. Unfortunately not everyone in our society can be progressive and inclusive. Family members included. As parents we set the example and that impresses on our children and becomes their inner voice and values. Once they’re old enough to express themselves, it will be what the parents modelled that will triumph. |
7,312,799 | mommit | This poster is right. You need the adults to be on the same page. |
7,312,800 | mommit | Omggg there’s a Rupaul little people set?? |
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