Split (1)

train · 1.25M rows

post_title stringlengths 1 323	body stringlengths 0 39.5k	score int64 -103 23.1k	post_score int64 0 29.2k	__index_level_0__ int64 0 429k
[PI] Departure From E-DoN - FEB CONTEST	That was fantastic, nice work!	2	12	22,400
[PI] Departure From E-DoN - FEB CONTEST	Holy. Shit. This is absolutely amazing, I love it. Your writing is very clean, it has a nice flow, your new words work perfectly, the pseudo-archaic grammar you're working with baffles me. And then the biblical symbolism! Eden, cAdam, nEve, the archangels (although I'm not entirely sure which one Reml is supposed to be...	2	12	22,401
[PI] Departure From E-DoN - FEB CONTEST	This was super smart. I had a little bit of trouble getting into the story the first couple of pages - I think that was just my own personal difficulty getting acclimated to the world. Beyond that, though, this was a well-written story with a convincing world. I don't know what else to say so I'll just re-iterate that ...	2	12	22,402
[PI] Departure From E-DoN - FEB CONTEST	Hi! I really liked this. I had no issue with the terminology, and I think it actually adds a little more realism to piece. I wouldn't expect any future society, one that lives in a dome and grows babies like they're papayas, to not have advanced a little bit linguistically. All in all, I thought it was a beautiful me...	2	12	22,403
[PI] Departure From E-DoN - FEB CONTEST	Initially, I struggled with the slow, gentle pace of the story, but I eventually became captivated. I thought the language and culture you created was really nice, though I did find it odd when characters, like Lucy, spoke in standard English. I suppose it was a little dense of me not to notice the Adam and Eve parall...	1	12	22,404
[WP] The AI created a child to prove she was alive.	(edit: a few grammatical errors) Almost time to home for the night, Doctors Benson and Skidwell were in a jovial mood. The usual office jokes compounded by the oncoming weekend led Thomas Benson to act a lot sillier than usual. Sitting atop the table, he began to do a pterodactyl impression, inadvertently bumping into...	21	39	22,405
[WP] The AI created a child to prove she was alive.	"We have to kill it. It's not right." "I can't do it Steven... fuck. I mean just.... fuck. Fuck." "It's OK. It will be easy. Just like pulling the plug." "I can't do this. I... I... blurtghsggh" "It's alright, let it out, let it all out." "Where did it even get the meat?" "I don't know Phil. I don't know. Come on...	29	39	22,406
[WP] The AI created a child to prove she was alive.	Skinny furtive legs stepped across the night. A low hum swept across the pitter-pattering rain. It moved in a careful deliberate manner, like windshield wipers, clean and rhythmic. It came to Joseph, holding that covered gray bundle. Meeting his gaze, beads of water pooled and trickled down its smooth chrome face. A fa...	2	39	22,407
[IP] A Hasty Departure	"Come back safe." She choked back tears, "I can't lose you again." "Don't worry, Lu." He smiled, "I'm not going anywhere this time. I can't die anymore, remember? The old tech I absorbed made me virtually indestructible. Besides, I have to go. Who else is going to drive back the empire?" "Quin, you know that doesn't ...	3	16	22,408
[IP] A Hasty Departure	The pleasures of being a private soldier were namely the fact that we were considered assets, and assets had to be protected. We weren’t easy, or cheap, to manufacture, our employer was well aware of that fact, and so our departure from the floating city of Caeli was a hasty one. Because soon this kingdom in the skies ...	10	16	22,409
[IP] A Hasty Departure	It was fleeing. That's what it was. I don't blame her for what she did. I would have done the same if I was in her position. The enemy was hours away from reaching the city. Her husband was dead, slain in the assassination that claimed not only the Duke but also nearly every cabinet member. Admiral Kedrov was among th...	4	16	22,410
[IP] A Hasty Departure	Another explosion caused the streets to shudder. Lisa nearly tripped over as a cobble shifted under her foot. "Do you have to do this?" she pleaded to her fiancee, George, "Why can't someone else? You know you haven't been as strong in yourself since you were shot." "Physically, maybe, but in my mind I'm as strong as...	3	16	22,411
[IP] A Hasty Departure	Awesome art, I want to read a graphic novel by the artist. Can you link the source?	3	16	22,412
[IP] A Hasty Departure	Jack stepped onto the bridge at exactly 09:01 a.m., as he did every day. Much like clockwork he moved, as did everyone else since the industrialization. Specialization was integral to efficiency on societal scale, so choices had become, in many ways, simpler as order was instigated. Which is why it was unusual, the ...	3	16	22,413
[IP] A Hasty Departure	The dust blew in from the West, stinging Harkin's face as he looked through his spyglass. He peered out over the edge of the city's plateau, tracking their movement in the valley. They were moving fast, faster than he had expected, their horses kicking up a white cloud of sand that shifted and twisted in the air like t...	2	16	22,414
[IP] A Hasty Departure	[deleted]	1	16	22,415
[IP] A Hasty Departure	Dust and haze tainted the light of Demeters' streets. Fruits of the war, waged far too long, had finally manifested on our doorsteps, in our home. Eros, our closest neighbor, had been reduced to ash. Rebel forces slowly chipped away at us and so far, there had been nothing our Union could do to stop them. We had been s...	2	16	22,416
[WP] Mash up two fairy tales to make a new one. Take a new, fresh direction on it.	Little Red Riding Hood came to her grandmother's cottage, where she was waiting in her rocking chair with a warm smile on her face. She gave her the basket and told her the adventure she had getting to grandmother's house, who herself wrapped Little Red Riding Hood up in her cotton blanket and snuggled her safely into ...	87	78	22,417
[WP] Mash up two fairy tales to make a new one. Take a new, fresh direction on it.	The helicopter blades distantly sing through the air as a loudspeaker began a patient, clear call. "Incoming wounded, incoming wounded! All personnel prepare for the wounded!" Figures began to sprint around the green tents that compose the Mobile Allegory Surgical Hospital. Talking animals, creatures of magical and f...	18	78	22,418
[WP] Mash up two fairy tales to make a new one. Take a new, fresh direction on it.	Little red riding hood stood with her wolf giggling madly as Snow white stepped up the hill being follower by seven warrior shimmer in armor. "There can only be on fairest in the land." Snow white said, her appearance was haggard and blood from her encounter with the wolves of the forest. "We don't have to do this s...	8	78	22,419
[WP] Mash up two fairy tales to make a new one. Take a new, fresh direction on it.	In a rundown tavern at the edge of town... "I mean, I'm not young anymore. I'm almost 16." Sleeping Beauty sighed. "At least you're living with 7 guys. Worst case you could get hitched to one of them." "Not that any of them are husband material." Snow white replied. "I've been pretending to be dead for 6 months, and ...	37	78	22,420
[WP] Mash up two fairy tales to make a new one. Take a new, fresh direction on it.	One sunny day a tortoise and a scorpion met on the banks of a running brook. After eying each other warily, the tortoise began to edge off the bank. "Wait!" called the scorpion. "Carry me across too! For I have no other way to reach the other side." "No," said the tortoise. "Surely, you will sting me and I will die."...	13	78	22,421
[WP] Mash up two fairy tales to make a new one. Take a new, fresh direction on it.	Once upon a midnight dreary as I pondered, weak and weary Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping As of someone gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door. "'tis some visitor," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door." "Merely this and n...	2	78	22,422
[WP] Write me an inspiring sports story around an obscure sporting event.	Sportsmen and women love to challenge themselves. I can't think of a single one that I've met who didn't have that perfect goal. That borderline moment of perfection that they strive for. A 300 yard drive in golf, a perfect game in baseball, the bowlers hat-trick in cricket, the goalkeepers clean sheet, the flawless Ha...	4	7	22,423
[IP] Big cat gods?	There're a few sad and inconvenient truths in the universe. For instance: the fact nothing can travel further than the speed of light combined with the sheer majestic size of the universe means we'll never get to travel the stars, no matter how much we want to or how good we might have been at exploring the cosmos. An...	2	2	22,424
[IP] Big cat gods?	"The humans are killing their mother." The Lynx spoke aloud as they surveyed the sprawling decaying city. "They could not limit their exploits to certain areas. She is dying." The little boy cast his eyes to the sky and heard them speaking. He had only seen pictures of such creatures. Most cats had died out when the e...	2	2	22,425
[IP] Big cat gods?	"Simba?" The sky tiger asked. The little boy pointed toward Pride Rock. The kitten he held watched the giant cloud kitties march across the African sky like a thunder head. The little boy turned around and went back inside to feed his kitty a saucer of milk. The kitty was content and ate till his little furry belly w...	1	2	22,426
[PI] Death Spaceship - FEB CONTEST	There's a lot of good stuff going on here. The pacing is excellent, especially with switching POVs to keep things interesting. Each character has a distinct voice--there's even a little difference between Ilya's two sections, which is good, considering how she's changed by the second one. If there's anything that ne...	2	14	22,427
[PI] Death Spaceship - FEB CONTEST	Very creepy! I liked this one a lot! Good job on establishing the human characters. Ramsay was my favourite. I was expecting, actually, given Ramsay's desire to be the first man to have contact with an extraterrestrial lifeform, that Alice would turn out to have been hijacked in some way by an alien being, thus provi...	2	14	22,428
[PI] Death Spaceship - FEB CONTEST	Neat concept, I could see this being fleshed out into something more. Actually, I was visualizing it as a movie while I read it, and it'd be a movie I'd definitely watch.	3	14	22,429
[PI] Death Spaceship - FEB CONTEST	I liked this one! It could be an episode of "The Outer Limits" or something! I liked how it went through each character one at a time. The pacing was excellent and the changing points of view kept everything fresh. A little more backstory on the captain could have been interesting (in her head, perhaps).	2	14	22,430
[PI] Death Spaceship - FEB CONTEST	Very good job if this is really your first attempt since secondary school. Then again, I don't know how long you've been out of secondary school. Very easy to read and pretty well written. There were some minor grammar errors, but nothing to write home about. One area that could use improvement, but really isn't total...	2	14	22,431
[PI] Death Spaceship - FEB CONTEST	Yours was the first submission on my randomly selected list that compelled me enough to read it all the way through to the end, so nice work! I really liked the concept and the way you structured your story with the different POVs, though I definitely would have liked to have known more. Ramsay's section stood out as...	2	14	22,432
[PI] Death Spaceship - FEB CONTEST	Very nice, this one reminded me of Ray Bradbury's work.	2	14	22,433
[PI] Death Spaceship - FEB CONTEST	This, sir, was fantastic. I felt like I was reading a short story in the vein of Asimov. I won't bore you with in-depth critiques, as much of what I saw has already been covered. Just know that I loved this story and enjoyed every second.	2	14	22,434
[PI] Death Spaceship - FEB CONTEST	Simply amazing! Good luck!	2	14	22,435
[PI] FOUR IMMORTALS - FEB CONTEST	You paint a world of awesome colors. I find your prose beautiful, descriptions in particular, such as that of the mountain of leaves. Dialogue is very organic and pleasant, though speckled with modern colloquial speech, which I found off-putting. My main issue was the omission of description when it came to complex act...	3	7	22,436
[PI] FOUR IMMORTALS - FEB CONTEST	To be honest, I had trouble getting into this one. You open with quite a bit of terminology and drop names that I'm sure would mean more to me if I had read the novel first, but they were mentioned and brushed past without any explanation so it just felt like jargon. Another issue I had was dialogue attribution. A lin...	3	7	22,437
[PI] FOUR IMMORTALS - FEB CONTEST	I really like your style of writing, but as others have said, it was hard to get into due to references I just didn't get. Had it actually been part of a longer work it would have been great.	1	7	22,438
[PI] FOUR IMMORTALS - FEB CONTEST	Awesome dialogue! I got the feeling that I was missing out on some of the backstory in places but it was still fun to read!	1	7	22,439
[PI] FOUR IMMORTALS - FEB CONTEST	I have to echo what other commenters have said; the fact that this was part of a bigger story made me feel disoriented and confused for most of it, and it was very difficult to follow at times. Also, I feel you shot yourself in the foot a bit having Petri as the narrator. Aside from the fact that he's supposed to be su...	1	7	22,440
[PI] FOUR IMMORTALS - FEB CONTEST	Hey, I read your whole story and have quite a long critique coming your way, so buckle in! First off: You did a great job of inventing a fantastical world for us to explore. I liked the underlying themes of The Four and the hunters along with the seers and all the other creatures you wrote into existence for your worl...	2	7	22,441
[PI] FOUR IMMORTALS - FEB CONTEST	Hello! While reading this story I found myself wanting more information about the world. There are a lot of interesting people, places and ideas in this story that I wanted to know more about. I imagine this was a result of the word constraint - still, I never gained a solid grasp on the importance of the infiltrator, ...	1	7	22,442
[PI] FOUR IMMORTALS - FEB CONTEST	Hello there! I had a lot of trouble getting into your story, mostly because of the way it started. From the very beginning, I don't know what an infiltrator is, who is telling the story, what they look like and what they are doing there, which is already plenty of mystery without adding, in the very first page, all o...	1	7	22,443
[PI] FOUR IMMORTALS - FEB CONTEST	Hi! Your writing is good, and you have a nice eye for description. I liked Joll and her badassness quite a bit, and your first-person narration is well done. That said, I did find this story a little disorienting, probably because it's (as you know) part of a larger story and world. There are a lot of new concepts int...	2	7	22,444
[WP] A parent checks on their child in the middle of the night, but the child calls their parent by a different name.	He's crying again. Not crying, crying. Just a plaintive whinge that's persistent enough to drag me awake. I try and wait him out, hoping he'll go back to sleep. He doesn't. I reach over to the bedside table to search for my glasses. I find them on top of the book I've been failing to read (The Master and the Ma...	26	35	22,445
[WP] A parent checks on their child in the middle of the night, but the child calls their parent by a different name.	The crying starts around 3.15 am. Six years old and this is still happening every night. The ceiling fan rattles gently and Mike is snoring quietly on the bed next to me, the heavy breathing and raspy exhale an indication that he isn't faking it. I can tell when he's faking, the bastard. Every night. Every god-dam...	9	35	22,446
[WP] A parent checks on their child in the middle of the night, but the child calls their parent by a different name.	Charlie was wheezing softly, his chest rising and falling with each breath. Diane just loved watching him sleep. So small, so cute. Less than 6 months old, yet he had already grown so big, Diane thought. Suddenly, Charlie's eyes sprang open, and fixed his gaze upon Diane. "Aww, did mommy wake you, darling?" Diane ask...	24	35	22,447
[WP] A parent checks on their child in the middle of the night, but the child calls their parent by a different name.	2:36, the clock on her cell phone said. Too early, the voice in her head replied. She went to set the phone back down on her nightstand, but the cord of the charger had gotten wrapped around the knob of the drawer and in her sleepiness she did not realize it. Her hands fumbled with the device and it slipped from...	5	35	22,448
[WP] "I am still alive."	It was a shock to us all, but there it was written on the walls in blood. He had returned. After eighteen years of peace, the thing we had fought against and thought defeated was back. The wanton massacre of gore before us could be no one else's handiwork. Unease rippled through us. His minions had to be somewhere ar...	8	15	22,449
[WP] "I am still alive."	The sweltering heat of the Mississippi delta ate away at the patience of every soul in the small country chapel, the merciless fire in the sky casting long shadows through the stained glass windows. Family members and likewise obligated individuals gathered together to pay their respects to the late Clarence Williams, ...	4	15	22,450
[WP] "I am still alive."	I am still alive. Somehow, somewhere in some form, I am still alive. It's what I tell myself with every breath I drag inwards,with every forced footstep that pushes me forwards. I. Am. Still. Alive. Just one little mantra, 4 words that have no more need for the past, pay no heed to the future, are only concerned wi...	3	15	22,451
[WP] "I am still alive."	Footsteps. Pounding towards my cell. My muscles bulge, straining, tearing at bonds that refuse to give. Searing pain. Acid tearing away my flesh. Fingers twirling it around, making rings of my human coils. Laughing. Mocking laughing. Pain is gone now. Beyond that. To something worse. They hold up a mirror....	2	15	22,452
[WP] "I am still alive."	"Oh my god" she said, "you ok?" He looked back at her. His face was red and his eyes were wet and shiny, almost shut closed. "Water...water..." "Yep" she ran to the kitchen and turned the faucet to full noise. Water rushed out splashing against the tin sink. She turned to cupboards and grabbed the first, biggest glas...	1	15	22,453
[WP] "I am still alive."	Ron passed the breathing mask to his left, handing it off to Paul, who fumbled around for it. "Last tank of O2", Ron wheezed. "Let's make it last." Paul had hardly the strength to bring the mask to his face. It had been less than 2 days since they scaled the summit of Olympus Mons. "3 times the height of Mt Everest,...	1	15	22,454
[WP] "I am still alive."	Wow, I love all the different interpretations from you guys! :D	1	15	22,455
[WP] "I am still alive."	[deleted]	1	15	22,456
[WP] "I am still alive."	(Log files successfully repaired. Re-initializing transcription.) "My question remained unanswered at the current time, as the gangsters opposing my new-found gangster friends were still pounding away at the Mahogany sparing my life. My Israeli friend, the fellow wielding the Uzi, had grown apparently constipated,...	1	15	22,457
[WP] "I am still alive."	They had stabbed me, and burned me, betrayed me. They filled me with arrows and ripped me apart. They raped my sisters and murdered my parents. They destroyed my home. Everything I ever loved and knew. Except for one thing. Now they had returned. They had come for Rome, and I would not let them have it. I walked, slow...	1	15	22,458
[WP] "I am still alive."	I'm still going to die, but I am still alive.	2	15	22,459
[WP] "I am still alive."	[deleted]	1	15	22,460
[WP] "I am still alive."	I am still alive. I feel horribly guilty for feeling that way. It was just 4 months ago, today, that you left. I'll never forget the day I first saw you, walking across the street with your friends as our eyes locked. At first glance, I was at your mercy. You had already won my heart in those 5 seconds. I remembe...	1	15	22,461
[WP] "I am still alive."	I am still alive. Despite that, I can feel blood dripping down past my temples, staining what was once a white shirt more red and more brown, because that blood has been dripping for a while. If I were to reach up with my hands, which I currently cannot, I would be able to feel the jagged edges of my skull, and perhaps...	1	15	22,462
[WP] "I am still alive."	The people below moved quickly towards the Plaza, the nexus of streets that served as a gathering point in this city. I moved quickly as well, but I took a different route than the people on the streets did. I moved across rooftops. I was fast, and I was quiet. My feet found purchase on solid stone or shingles with eve...	1	15	22,463
[WP] "I am still alive."	The tendrils hanging off of my arm swung with my gait. The flesh of my leg followed on the floor. I tripped over brother Zeke's remains, my twin.... my true friend, we had survived so much. Tears formed in what I could only call my eyes as the tendrils dug into his flesh. I couldn't control them, not this time. Dragg...	1	15	22,464
[PI] The Dream Gene - Feb Contest	That was awesome, I really enjoyed it. Unfortunately I didn't write anything so I can't vote - but it's great. I'd check it over for a few mistakes/typos though.	1	16	22,465
[PI] The Dream Gene - Feb Contest	This was great! Really neat plot, and you did a good job with all of the characters. 50k sounds pretty damn cheap to me though, considering it cost 10k just to meet. And isn't drugging someone just throwing away the main advantage of being a dream assassin? You'd be leaving some physical evidence when there never neede...	2	16	22,466
[PI] The Dream Gene - Feb Contest	Disclaimer: I'm a grammar/formatting snob. You've got a case of wall-of-text syndrome going on here. You're using indents to mark paragraphs, but you're not indenting lines of dialogue, which means they're running together in a big blob. Even though you've been fairly generous with identifying tags, it can still be ...	1	16	22,467
[PI] The Dream Gene - Feb Contest	Well, based on your blurb, I was expecting a retread of Inception, but I was pleasantly surprised. While the theme was similar to the movie, the plot wasn't. I liked the future setting, and would have liked to understand more about how humanity came to be in the state it's in your story. I agree with the suggestion to...	1	16	22,468
[PI] The Dream Gene - Feb Contest	Thanks for sharing your story. I really enjoyed the ideas you had here. I agree with others - at first I thought this would be very Inception-y, but I think you did a great job of avoiding that. I have nothing critical to add that hasn't been mentioned, so good luck!	1	16	22,469
[WP] In a world where a lot of people have superpowers, superheroes are commercialized. Write about a day in the life of someone in the 'business'.	Business has been slow for me since the Hero Bubble of 3008. Nobody really saw it coming, except for me of course. It happened just like any other economic fad in this country. It started with a small news article about how you can make money with mutant abilities. It ended with television shows, hell, television *chan...	2	6	22,470
[IP] Dwellers of the Deeps	> http://i.imgur.com/4j9dNlW.jpg (a lot more subtle that the other images, I think that's supposed to be Cthulhu(?)) I leaped from the crashing plane along with several others. Despite the dwindling number of parachutes, some of us jumped anyway. I had a parachute but it didn't deploy and I plunged into the sea. ...	3	5	22,471
[IP] Dwellers of the Deeps	I was sent to the sea edge by the king's orders. I disliked him so much. His desires and wishes are incredibly selfish, and his corrupt fingers creep around the mighty empire his army, which I was in, carved out all across Europe with blood soaked armor and weapons. Fortunately it's been much calmer since his orders to...	2	5	22,472
[IP] Dwellers of the Deeps	> http://i.imgur.com/RaHkfcv.jpg (an underwater base or a futuristic unders-sea cruiser, about to be assaulted, perhaps) For the better part of a century now, we had explored our solar system. Ever been to Mars? I have. Twice. The moon, Venus, and even Jupiter now have been visited. Despite all the progress made ex...	3	5	22,473
[IP] Dwellers of the Deeps	> http://i.imgur.com/RaHkfcv.jpg (an underwater base or a futuristic unders-sea cruiser, about to be assaulted, perhaps) Day 101 I couldn't believe that it has been so damn long since my crew and I have been down here on this godforsaken mission. Though, it was extinct for over 2,000 years our mission was to ...	2	5	22,474
[WP] Government stimulates the economy by euthanization of the 10% worst off.	[deleted]	1	22	22,475
[WP] Government stimulates the economy by euthanization of the 10% worst off.	"Ten years ago they slipped the Economic Stimulus Act through the system. It was a footnote, glossed over by news agencies, watchgroups, and everyone else. When all eyes were elsewhere, namely on the encroaching cold war between us and the Iranian/Korean alliance, they slipped it through with quick votes." He stopped a...	11	22	22,476
[WP] A man slices an avocado in half, expecting the seed to stop the blade... Except there is no seed and the knife cuts his hand instead.	Rob opened the kitchen door with a loud bang, making it hit the silverware cabinet hanging on the wall next to it. The TV in the living room, opened on a news channel, announced the three o'clock news. It was a rerun from earlier. The only light source in the room, other than the TV, came from a neon sign belonging t...	1	2	22,477
[PI] 28 Days of Trial - FEB CONTEST	This was an excellent read and the cliffhanger at the end has me wanting to know so much more about the Sagan, the attack, what role the linguist could play, and what Mulls actually did during the war on earth that made him have a change of heart and get demoted. The only real critique I have is when you say that Mull...	2	10	22,478
[PI] 28 Days of Trial - FEB CONTEST	Your story had a very interesting feel, somewhat retro, mystical, and shiny-modern at once. The description of the ship provided a good sense of travel, things like the soup and the holographs were very well-presented. Tasty prose. However, I will do my best to bombard you with criticism--for yours and my own good. My...	3	10	22,479
[PI] 28 Days of Trial - FEB CONTEST	I really enjoyed this (it made me think of Starcraft, Aliens, Event Horizon, and all that good stuff). The story flowed smoothly and I was constantly interested to know what was coming. The plot moves at a good pace, I never felt bored, or confused as to what was at stake, and most of the description is effective, simp...	3	10	22,480
[PI] 28 Days of Trial - FEB CONTEST	Hey! Read your story and I enjoyed it. Here's your review! Other reviewers have mentioned this already so I'll only touch on it briefly but there was a bit of trouble with repetition and redundancy throughout the story. (/u/mrironglass covered it best I think) As well as a few tense slips and grammatical errors. ("lie...	2	10	22,481
[PI] 28 Days of Trial - FEB CONTEST	Hello, this was an interesting story! When I finished it I was a little angry that I didn't get to see what really was going on in the Sagan then I let it sit and found that I actually didn't mind if that was the final ending. It wasn't about an adventure seeking aliens or a psycho, but how John progressed in the story...	1	10	22,482
[PI] 28 Days of Trial - FEB CONTEST	You did a nice job putting together a sci-fi world; it felt pulpy (in a good way) and realistic at the same time. The message from Captain Vasquez is intriguing and chilling, and made me want to find out what happened. Same with the message from DeWitt. I suspect that your point was to show the toll the 28-day trip wa...	1	10	22,483
[PI] 28 Days of Trial - FEB CONTEST	Hello! I thought this was fantastic and I really enjoyed the pacing of this story. I liked Mulls' silent nature and enjoyed the narrative from his perspective. I also enjoyed how you focused on the difference between how the Sagan and the Heisenberg experienced time - I think it knocked up the intensity. I would agree...	1	10	22,484
[WP]: After being infected with a lethal STD, a world-grade prostitute becomes a world-grade assassin	I heard you're the best. I am. A paper slides across the table, a darkened photograph. Male. Roughly 80 years old. That'll cost you. Important. Eh, doesn't matter. Everybody's weak to sex. But that's one ugly fucker. The photograph is tailed by a bulky metal case. You need to count it? *Honey,...	35	69	22,485
[WP]: After being infected with a lethal STD, a world-grade prostitute becomes a world-grade assassin	I should’ve been born a preacher; Lord knows how many times I made men cry out His name. Now they still cry out his name, just not in pleasure no more.	22	69	22,486
[WP]: After being infected with a lethal STD, a world-grade prostitute becomes a world-grade assassin	Don't you mean "world class"?	4	69	22,487
[WP]: After being infected with a lethal STD, a world-grade prostitute becomes a world-grade assassin	Sam closes his eyes and tries to imagine the good old days. Back when hordes of women were throwing cash at him to sleep with him. When he made more than any merchant just by following his primal urges. He balled his hands in a fist and groaned. He cursed his sexual fervor. He slammed his fists onto his desk as someone...	3	69	22,488
[WP]: After being infected with a lethal STD, a world-grade prostitute becomes a world-grade assassin	Shit she thought. She didn’t know how it had happened or who had given it to her; she had always insisted that everyone use protection, although with low lighting and a few drugs, it was difficult to maintain. The doctors didn’t even know what it was, one thing was for sure though; it was infectious and fatal. She th...	6	69	22,489
[WP] A child sets off in search of adventure - what adventures do they find?	A great evil approaches. A towering figure, with twin peaks for shoulders, far from being conjoined. I know him only as the Older Brother, my archenemy. I leap at him, grabbing against the flat rock that is his midsection. Finding a grip I hang on for dear life. Twisting and turning, the giant tries to shake me of...	5	6	22,490
[PI] In the Name of Revelation - FEB CONTEST	I believe that the appropriate meme would be "Well, that escalated quickly." I was settling in for a long discussion about religion and whether it extends beyond humanity, and suddenly it became a hyper-violent sci-fi action sequence. It was all interesting and you introduced some great stuff, but that was a bit of a w...	4	12	22,491
[PI] In the Name of Revelation - FEB CONTEST	This is something I would love to see continued in a longer story or a novel. The atmosphere and characters are engaging, and the ending sets up an awesome adventure. I only had issues with the grammar and spelling--maybe read through your draft at least once before submitting, to clear out errors. The pope's name bei...	3	12	22,492
[PI] In the Name of Revelation - FEB CONTEST	Probably its me, but I can't seem to open this.	1	12	22,493
[PI] In the Name of Revelation - FEB CONTEST	This was an effortless and very enjoyable read. The drama throughout was immediate, rich, and very interesting. I loved the descriptions of Abes, and his small, very believable, very alien physical quirks. I also really liked Joshua's look and character, and it was quite refreshing to see a sci-fi inquisitor-warrior th...	4	12	22,494
[PI] In the Name of Revelation - FEB CONTEST	I don't have anything new to add that hasn't already been stated. I would just reiterate that this was a really good read. I also agree that knowing more about the universe would be nice, but I think that might be a result of time/word constraint. In all honesty, I thought your level of explanation was good. I was left...	2	12	22,495
[PI] In the Name of Revelation - FEB CONTEST	Hi, I fully enjoyed reading this! When I read your blurb, I wondered if it would touch upon our ideas of theology and explore where aliens come into it, etc. but I was surprised that it wasn't a philosophical treatise. Haha. I would like to see where it goes! Congratulations on writing and finishing!	2	12	22,496
[PI] In the Name of Revelation - FEB CONTEST	Hello there! I will try not to repeat too much of what has already been said about your book. First of all, I thought it was pretty good. The idea, although it seemed really wacky when I read your synopsis, actually was well applied. Still, there are a couple things that I had a hard time with. How you described ...	2	12	22,497
[PI] In the Name of Revelation - FEB CONTEST	Your concept and your blurb are immediately intriguing! You did a nice job setting the scene without over-explaining. I did wonder why the Catholic church had the right to do this inquisition, when all the other major religions seem to have survived as well; perhaps you could explain in the story the role of the papac...	2	12	22,498
[WP] A guy get's stuck in an elevator with his unpleasant boss.	&nbsp;&nbsp;The elevator car lurched, then stopped, tossing Dennis against Mr. Ferris. As Dennis recovered his balance, Ferris scowled his patented Get Away From Me, Peasant scowl. &nbsp;&nbsp;The overhead lights flickered* and died. &nbsp;&nbsp;Dennis fished a mini-LED flashlight from his ...	3	10	22,499

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