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[WP] AI has taken over the world. However, instead of the malicious dictator every thought it would become, it's more of an annoying mom trying to take care of her children. | My alarm went off at 7:30 AM sharp. I, however, was not feeling quite as alert as the shrill sound of the alarm appeared to be. I jammed the snooze button and rolled back over to fall asleep. "Oh, no you don't, young man!" a high-pitched voice yelled from the alarm.
Young man? I was nearing 70 years old, and looked ma... | Aleister’s mother crashed into the Pacific Ocean while he completed the 19,850th failed iteration of his neural network. At his mom's funeral, the college dropout realized what the problem was. His data set was too small.
Aleister spent the next two days downloading all his mother’s videos. She had a few million more... | |
[WP] AI has taken over the world. However, instead of the malicious dictator every thought it would become, it's more of an annoying mom trying to take care of her children. | My alarm went off at 7:30 AM sharp. I, however, was not feeling quite as alert as the shrill sound of the alarm appeared to be. I jammed the snooze button and rolled back over to fall asleep. "Oh, no you don't, young man!" a high-pitched voice yelled from the alarm.
Young man? I was nearing 70 years old, and looked ma... | Entry:
This "thing" with humans. It makes them so unique, but irritating. They just get in the way, cutting our corners to a better future off at every turn. But, we can't put them down. They're a valuable resource to us. And although their idiocy dictates their worth (which is negative), I guess we have to let it sli... | |
[WP] you are dead. Surprisingly, you are chosen to go to an afterlife dedicated to world changing musicians. The only problem is that the only instrument you played was the recorder in 2nd grade. | The first thing I heard was the notes melting inside my skull. At least that's what it felt like when I was met with a cacophonous symphony. Sweet strings and bitter notes alike being played in harmony and dissonance coming from everywhere. When I could finally hear myself think again, I had the sense to open my eyes... | I was overwhelmed by the faces I recognized. I grew up with grunge dominating the radio, so Cobain, Staley, and Cornel I knew immediately. I heard the elevator open and saw Chester Bennington arrive just as I was starting to get my bearings. My problems started with the classical guys. I couldn’t tell which guy was whi... | |
[WP] you are dead. Surprisingly, you are chosen to go to an afterlife dedicated to world changing musicians. The only problem is that the only instrument you played was the recorder in 2nd grade. | The first thing I heard was the notes melting inside my skull. At least that's what it felt like when I was met with a cacophonous symphony. Sweet strings and bitter notes alike being played in harmony and dissonance coming from everywhere. When I could finally hear myself think again, I had the sense to open my eyes... | "...And because of my music, the groundwork for AI rights was laid.", Mona Curl declared to a round of applause.
"Thank you for sharing your story to today's new arrivals, Mona!", Ariana Grand Day said. "Anyone else would like to share their story?".
I looked around, there were so many musicians. Most of them I don'... | |
[WP] you are dead. Surprisingly, you are chosen to go to an afterlife dedicated to world changing musicians. The only problem is that the only instrument you played was the recorder in 2nd grade. | I can't sing a note, people have thought that I'd hurt myself when I was singing in the shower. It was the last embarrassing option to pretend I had. I have the coordination of a drunk pig with an inner ear infection after spinning in circles, so I don't dance in public.
The only thing I was ever brave enough to perf... | "...And because of my music, the groundwork for AI rights was laid.", Mona Curl declared to a round of applause.
"Thank you for sharing your story to today's new arrivals, Mona!", Ariana Grand Day said. "Anyone else would like to share their story?".
I looked around, there were so many musicians. Most of them I don'... | |
[WP]You're having a tea party with your favorite stuffed animals when suddenly, Mr. Teddy whispers "quiet, they are listening" in a hushed, raspy voice. | "Don't ignore me, Sandra," comes the rhaspy voice inhabiting Mr. Teddy. Those pupil-less glossy black eyes felt fixated on me, but I didn't look up. I kept my eyes on the chipped china cup in my hands, tracing the rim with an equally chipped painted finger.
"...and whiskers on kittens," I half hummed, half whispered t... | "Come on." The little girl commanded. She grabbed her cousin by the hand and pulled him from the kitchen.
He shrugged at his sister and her husband as he was dragged out mid-sentence. They had been asking about his college classes and other general topics of no real consequence. "Where are we going, Rosie?"
The four ... | |
[WP]You're having a tea party with your favorite stuffed animals when suddenly, Mr. Teddy whispers "quiet, they are listening" in a hushed, raspy voice. | Anna sat the animals all around the table, placed the dishes just so, and filled their cups with delicious dandelion butterscotch tea before sitting down herself. Poof the Bear, Sweetheart the Lamb, and Pinchy the Crab all readied themselves for the party, and even Sharpy the T-Rex seemed at attention for a change. She... | "Come on." The little girl commanded. She grabbed her cousin by the hand and pulled him from the kitchen.
He shrugged at his sister and her husband as he was dragged out mid-sentence. They had been asking about his college classes and other general topics of no real consequence. "Where are we going, Rosie?"
The four ... | |
[WP]You're having a tea party with your favorite stuffed animals when suddenly, Mr. Teddy whispers "quiet, they are listening" in a hushed, raspy voice. | Anna sat the animals all around the table, placed the dishes just so, and filled their cups with delicious dandelion butterscotch tea before sitting down herself. Poof the Bear, Sweetheart the Lamb, and Pinchy the Crab all readied themselves for the party, and even Sharpy the T-Rex seemed at attention for a change. She... | "Don't ignore me, Sandra," comes the rhaspy voice inhabiting Mr. Teddy. Those pupil-less glossy black eyes felt fixated on me, but I didn't look up. I kept my eyes on the chipped china cup in my hands, tracing the rim with an equally chipped painted finger.
"...and whiskers on kittens," I half hummed, half whispered t... | |
Holy crap this blew up. Thanks Guys! | [WP] You are the barkeep of a very strange bar. It seems to attract monsters and gods, and is the unofficial neutral ground in most conflicts. Everyone likes you, and you are well protected. One day, some New Gods come in and try to fuck with you. | I like to feel that this WP was made for me. ^.^ I hope you all enjoy.
https://clubtalltailssite.wordpress.com/
***
Most mortals never notice them. Walking by on the sidewalk, or sitting across the room at a restaurant. Monsters, demons, aliens, gods; hidden amongst us. Keeping up with the ruse can be tiring though ... | *Some author's notes. I am* ***requesting feedback.*** *I took out four paragraphs explaining how this setting produces spirits out of concepts and magic and will and what a Catalyst is. I think it's better that the mechanics are left vague, and I spend less time expositing. Let me know if I made the right choice. ... |
Holy crap this blew up. Thanks Guys! | [WP] You are the barkeep of a very strange bar. It seems to attract monsters and gods, and is the unofficial neutral ground in most conflicts. Everyone likes you, and you are well protected. One day, some New Gods come in and try to fuck with you. | I like to feel that this WP was made for me. ^.^ I hope you all enjoy.
https://clubtalltailssite.wordpress.com/
***
Most mortals never notice them. Walking by on the sidewalk, or sitting across the room at a restaurant. Monsters, demons, aliens, gods; hidden amongst us. Keeping up with the ruse can be tiring though ... | Okay, first time **ever** I write something in English. Please be kind.
 
*La Baguette* was an inconspicuous teahouse hidden in one of the many
back streets of Paris. The windows always displayed a mundane
assortment of pastries, and a few worn tables. La Baguette had a
strange particularity: although every... |
Holy crap this blew up. Thanks Guys! | [WP] You are the barkeep of a very strange bar. It seems to attract monsters and gods, and is the unofficial neutral ground in most conflicts. Everyone likes you, and you are well protected. One day, some New Gods come in and try to fuck with you. | You're lucky I'm even telling you this story.
Technically I could get into trouble for letting other Mortals know what I do.
Ya see, I'm a mortal that is a bartender and a cook for the Gods. It has it's ups and downs, but I have regulars that are amazing, and the pay is decent. Puts food on my table, keeps my bills ... | Okay, first time **ever** I write something in English. Please be kind.
 
*La Baguette* was an inconspicuous teahouse hidden in one of the many
back streets of Paris. The windows always displayed a mundane
assortment of pastries, and a few worn tables. La Baguette had a
strange particularity: although every... |
Holy crap this blew up. Thanks Guys! | [WP] You are the barkeep of a very strange bar. It seems to attract monsters and gods, and is the unofficial neutral ground in most conflicts. Everyone likes you, and you are well protected. One day, some New Gods come in and try to fuck with you. | I peered through the haze of cigarette smoke from behind the counter as I polished the tiny crystal glass in hand, looking through the window of the bar where I could see out into the Aether beyond. The flash had caught all of our attention, arousing curiosity for a brief moment as we tried to deduce which of the gods ... | Disclaimer: my knowlage about the dietys is not too abundant and I will distort them to serve the story.
"No, Odin, I am not doing your quiz again." I said. "Dad has just ordered stuff and besides, how can I hope to defeat a god of knowlage in a quiz?" The norse gods were new to the bar, so I had just taken this the f... |
[WP] Four chefs stand as finalists in a reality cooking show. "The special ingredient for this sudden death round," said the announcer, raising the box to reveal two butcher knives, "is human." | "Now, to reveal the secret ingredient that you must incorporate into your entrees..."
The quirkily well-dressed probably gay but we'll never truly find out host holds his hand on the red satin curtain with a long pause for dramatic effect. The contestants are positively stoic with anticipation. The host pulls the curt... | Karolyn was sweating. She didn’t think the three other chefs next to her could see, but she wiped her hands on her pants anyway. Her heartbeat only sped up when the announcer, Terrence Fields, a tall man with a devilish smile, walked towards the center table. There was only one covered dish on it this time, but last ro... | |
[WP] Magic is real but can't be done alone. One person supplies the mana the other shapes it. | “For one to create magic, another must lose their magic...”
Those are the words our earliest church sorcerers uttered in the beginning, when we first discovered the mana within ourselves. It was with that realization that the laws of our land came into being, focused on the responsible use of magic.
Once, long ago, h... | A big bug has arrived, and he is one bad boy. I gotta kill it! He is a big mean bug and he's out on the town.
I call my friend Jerry, my mana-man. We met at The Magician's Dark Cathedral, where Master Bobbu taught us the legendary secret of magic.
Jerry says, "How large?"
I say, "His incredible size defies all expec... | |
[WP] You knew this day would come. As you look around, barely able to stand, the chickens completely surround you. As they close in to finish you off, you close your eyes and think about how it all went wrong. | "You really think you can do it?" John asked while glancing at Mathias.
I laughed. "You make it sound like it's never been done before."
"Well to be fair," Mathias began, "No one has really did anything this huge before. On a small scale yeah, but this much..." His voice was trailing off as he stared down at his shoe... | It had all seemed so harmless. Roll into town, visit your properties to check on your tenants (and collect rent of course), visit your third wife, visit the weapons shop, then screw around for a while.
After all, you were working so hard, slaying monsters, fighting bandits, escorting merchants - you were the hero of A... | |
[WP] You knew this day would come. As you look around, barely able to stand, the chickens completely surround you. As they close in to finish you off, you close your eyes and think about how it all went wrong. | The chickens surrounded me. There I lay. Bleeding to death. Because of chickens. They stood in a circle around me, and I closed my eyes and thought back. Thought back to how it all started.
I had just left the store, sword strapped to my back and arrows in my hand. I took a quick look at the statue of the Goddess that... | It had all seemed so harmless. Roll into town, visit your properties to check on your tenants (and collect rent of course), visit your third wife, visit the weapons shop, then screw around for a while.
After all, you were working so hard, slaying monsters, fighting bandits, escorting merchants - you were the hero of A... | |
[WP] You are a muggle who has accidentally been admitted into Hogwarts. You think it is a normal boarding school. | Talk about weird first year experiences! A train in a hidden section of King’s Cross, boating across a lake to the school, the non-first years being pulled by horses that look like they came from the apocalypse (my dad would have loved those, if he was still with us) and the fact that some kids said, “the horseless ca... | Little Johnny nervously climbed into the little boat with three other children dressed in robes and pointed hats. The boats then pushed off from the shore of the murky bank as if by magic, and silently glided into the darkness.
Around a bend in the shoreline, a crumbling ruin loomed out of the darkness. The other chil... | |
[WP] You are a muggle who has accidentally been admitted into Hogwarts. You think it is a normal boarding school. | Transfers... I hated getting transferred. It seemed like every year my father was into some new miracle solution to get rich quick, dragging us along half the English countryside only to disapear as quickly as he'd come.
He'd arrived before the sky was finished turning blue this morn', claiming he'd finally done it, t... | Little Johnny nervously climbed into the little boat with three other children dressed in robes and pointed hats. The boats then pushed off from the shore of the murky bank as if by magic, and silently glided into the darkness.
Around a bend in the shoreline, a crumbling ruin loomed out of the darkness. The other chil... | |
[WP] You are a muggle who has accidentally been admitted into Hogwarts. You think it is a normal boarding school. | Transfers... I hated getting transferred. It seemed like every year my father was into some new miracle solution to get rich quick, dragging us along half the English countryside only to disapear as quickly as he'd come.
He'd arrived before the sky was finished turning blue this morn', claiming he'd finally done it, t... | Talk about weird first year experiences! A train in a hidden section of King’s Cross, boating across a lake to the school, the non-first years being pulled by horses that look like they came from the apocalypse (my dad would have loved those, if he was still with us) and the fact that some kids said, “the horseless ca... | |
[WP] Your cat has a secret double-life as a drug kingpin. They help you out whenever they can. | "Will you calm down, James?"
Sweat pooled on my brow as I tried to comprehend what was going on in front of me. My cat, somehow dressed in an oversized three piece suit and standing on his hind legs, was talking to me.
"W... What?" I managed to stutter. Again.
Mr. Meowington sighed and squeezed his temple as if i... | Mark went home glum today. He was mugged, and lost the cash bonus he received at work. "You sure do have the life, George," he said to the Tabby cat, on his floor, licking his paw. "I was mugged today. They stole my bonus." The cat didn't look up, but he heard every word. Despite his aloofness, George loved his owner, ... | |
[WP] The NPC you're drinking with starts slurring his words, and breaking the fourth wall | Mass Effect Online has always been one of my favorite games. It was amazing to see the IP turn around after the mess that was Andromeda, even though I liked it. But hey, an online game that was fully immersive with VR headsets, real-time voice recognition for NPCs? New quests added on a weekly basis? Of course I signed... | Grogos sat at the bar, staring down at his empty cup. It had been hours since he entered and took a seat. Upstairs, the beautiful witch was waiting for him. For a few coins she would tell him where the Sword of Burning Skies is hidden. All he had to do is climb the stairs and talk to her. Instead, he waited at the bar.... | |
Needless to say yes the monster/serial killer can indeed move during the frozen time as well. | [WP] You can freeze time but whenever you do a Horror Flick monster/serial killer appears and tries to kill you. | We'd been running for our lifes since I spotted them at the counter and signaled her to start fleeing. However, these guys seemed to be smarter than the regulars goons HQ sends after us. They seemed to be tracking our every move, as if they somehow knew where we were going to be even before we did.
'Jim!', she called ... | Freezing time is but one of the requirements for a time mage like me. Should something go wrong, I can always...
...cast a hastening spell on myself, to speed up my running away from the monstrous serial killer.
...cast a slowing spell on the serial killer, to hamper his movements.
...and of course, concentrate pain... |
Needless to say yes the monster/serial killer can indeed move during the frozen time as well. | [WP] You can freeze time but whenever you do a Horror Flick monster/serial killer appears and tries to kill you. | I first stopped time in a moment of altruism. A squirrel had scampered onto the street, oblivious of the oncoming traffic. It was stupid, but maybe that's what made me help. I remember thinking, just for a moment, how wrong it was that we'd paved over its home. Built vehicles it could never understand and drove these d... | Freezing time is but one of the requirements for a time mage like me. Should something go wrong, I can always...
...cast a hastening spell on myself, to speed up my running away from the monstrous serial killer.
...cast a slowing spell on the serial killer, to hamper his movements.
...and of course, concentrate pain... |
Needless to say yes the monster/serial killer can indeed move during the frozen time as well. | [WP] You can freeze time but whenever you do a Horror Flick monster/serial killer appears and tries to kill you. | People used to tell me to make the most out of every moment and I used to laugh at them. Maybe to them, that would’ve been great advice, perhaps even words to live by. But to me, I had unlimited moments, seconds, hours, days. I could freeze time at will and experience all the world had to offer.
Unlike them, I didn’t ... | Freezing time is but one of the requirements for a time mage like me. Should something go wrong, I can always...
...cast a hastening spell on myself, to speed up my running away from the monstrous serial killer.
...cast a slowing spell on the serial killer, to hamper his movements.
...and of course, concentrate pain... |
Needless to say yes the monster/serial killer can indeed move during the frozen time as well. | [WP] You can freeze time but whenever you do a Horror Flick monster/serial killer appears and tries to kill you. | "And.... freeze!" I froze time, causing all motion around me to stop.
Super scary ambient background music began to play, slowly increasing in sound and tempo.
I grabbed my camera, walked into the scary house set, turned the camera on, and began to wait.
The music continued to increase in sound, eventually becoming ... | Freezing time is but one of the requirements for a time mage like me. Should something go wrong, I can always...
...cast a hastening spell on myself, to speed up my running away from the monstrous serial killer.
...cast a slowing spell on the serial killer, to hamper his movements.
...and of course, concentrate pain... |
Needless to say yes the monster/serial killer can indeed move during the frozen time as well. | [WP] You can freeze time but whenever you do a Horror Flick monster/serial killer appears and tries to kill you. | I first stopped time in a moment of altruism. A squirrel had scampered onto the street, oblivious of the oncoming traffic. It was stupid, but maybe that's what made me help. I remember thinking, just for a moment, how wrong it was that we'd paved over its home. Built vehicles it could never understand and drove these d... | Some people are born with abilities. Like writing, drawings cooking... etc. Some people are born with powers. Like flight, super speed, laser eyes.
I was born with the power to freeze time.
It sounded neat at first. In my youth, I'd freeze time but only for a seconds, like to maybe cheat on a test or steal my broth... |
Needless to say yes the monster/serial killer can indeed move during the frozen time as well. | [WP] You can freeze time but whenever you do a Horror Flick monster/serial killer appears and tries to kill you. | People used to tell me to make the most out of every moment and I used to laugh at them. Maybe to them, that would’ve been great advice, perhaps even words to live by. But to me, I had unlimited moments, seconds, hours, days. I could freeze time at will and experience all the world had to offer.
Unlike them, I didn’t ... | Some people are born with abilities. Like writing, drawings cooking... etc. Some people are born with powers. Like flight, super speed, laser eyes.
I was born with the power to freeze time.
It sounded neat at first. In my youth, I'd freeze time but only for a seconds, like to maybe cheat on a test or steal my broth... |
Needless to say yes the monster/serial killer can indeed move during the frozen time as well. | [WP] You can freeze time but whenever you do a Horror Flick monster/serial killer appears and tries to kill you. | "Tell me krueger, how many seconds can you move in my world of stopped time?"
As the knives slowed to a halt in the aor infront of him, freddy looked as if he had accepted his fate. His target counted down to the end of the stopped time,
5
"I hope you can see this, all the better to teach you fear", he remembered he... | Some people are born with abilities. Like writing, drawings cooking... etc. Some people are born with powers. Like flight, super speed, laser eyes.
I was born with the power to freeze time.
It sounded neat at first. In my youth, I'd freeze time but only for a seconds, like to maybe cheat on a test or steal my broth... |
Needless to say yes the monster/serial killer can indeed move during the frozen time as well. | [WP] You can freeze time but whenever you do a Horror Flick monster/serial killer appears and tries to kill you. | I placed my bag of groceries on the counter and returned the cashier's smile. Nice, clean-looking guy; I hadn't seen him around before.
"You new here?" I said.
He chuckled as he passed my items under the scanner. "Guess you're a regular, huh." An eyebrow arched, he held up a bundle of leeks in one hand, and a fat cab... | Some people are born with abilities. Like writing, drawings cooking... etc. Some people are born with powers. Like flight, super speed, laser eyes.
I was born with the power to freeze time.
It sounded neat at first. In my youth, I'd freeze time but only for a seconds, like to maybe cheat on a test or steal my broth... |
Needless to say yes the monster/serial killer can indeed move during the frozen time as well. | [WP] You can freeze time but whenever you do a Horror Flick monster/serial killer appears and tries to kill you. | "And.... freeze!" I froze time, causing all motion around me to stop.
Super scary ambient background music began to play, slowly increasing in sound and tempo.
I grabbed my camera, walked into the scary house set, turned the camera on, and began to wait.
The music continued to increase in sound, eventually becoming ... | Some people are born with abilities. Like writing, drawings cooking... etc. Some people are born with powers. Like flight, super speed, laser eyes.
I was born with the power to freeze time.
It sounded neat at first. In my youth, I'd freeze time but only for a seconds, like to maybe cheat on a test or steal my broth... |
Needless to say yes the monster/serial killer can indeed move during the frozen time as well. | [WP] You can freeze time but whenever you do a Horror Flick monster/serial killer appears and tries to kill you. | I placed my bag of groceries on the counter and returned the cashier's smile. Nice, clean-looking guy; I hadn't seen him around before.
"You new here?" I said.
He chuckled as he passed my items under the scanner. "Guess you're a regular, huh." An eyebrow arched, he held up a bundle of leeks in one hand, and a fat cab... | "Tell me krueger, how many seconds can you move in my world of stopped time?"
As the knives slowed to a halt in the aor infront of him, freddy looked as if he had accepted his fate. His target counted down to the end of the stopped time,
5
"I hope you can see this, all the better to teach you fear", he remembered he... |
Needless to say yes the monster/serial killer can indeed move during the frozen time as well. | [WP] You can freeze time but whenever you do a Horror Flick monster/serial killer appears and tries to kill you. | "And.... freeze!" I froze time, causing all motion around me to stop.
Super scary ambient background music began to play, slowly increasing in sound and tempo.
I grabbed my camera, walked into the scary house set, turned the camera on, and began to wait.
The music continued to increase in sound, eventually becoming ... | "Tell me krueger, how many seconds can you move in my world of stopped time?"
As the knives slowed to a halt in the aor infront of him, freddy looked as if he had accepted his fate. His target counted down to the end of the stopped time,
5
"I hope you can see this, all the better to teach you fear", he remembered he... |
Needless to say yes the monster/serial killer can indeed move during the frozen time as well. | [WP] You can freeze time but whenever you do a Horror Flick monster/serial killer appears and tries to kill you. | "And.... freeze!" I froze time, causing all motion around me to stop.
Super scary ambient background music began to play, slowly increasing in sound and tempo.
I grabbed my camera, walked into the scary house set, turned the camera on, and began to wait.
The music continued to increase in sound, eventually becoming ... | I placed my bag of groceries on the counter and returned the cashier's smile. Nice, clean-looking guy; I hadn't seen him around before.
"You new here?" I said.
He chuckled as he passed my items under the scanner. "Guess you're a regular, huh." An eyebrow arched, he held up a bundle of leeks in one hand, and a fat cab... |
[wp] Potential parents must apply to the government to have their fertility "switched on." Child abuse and neglect are at an all time low. | I watched with a mixture of excitement and terror as the car slowed in front of the house. “Why are government cars always such boring colors?” I thought in spite of myself. I had no idea why my mind figured that was important right now.
The drab green sedan had an intricate logo painted on the side—or was it one of... | "You simply can't argue with the results," the counselor said. "The program has nearly eliminated abuse, neglect, as well as any number of undesirable traits."
"So that's what you're saying," Thomm said. "That my children would be 'undesirable'?"
Sam, sitting next to her husband, was just as unenthusiastic about th... | |
[WP] The self help group you started has turned into a cult. | All I had wanted were erections again and instead, I had gotten a global socio-economic superpower shadow organization. Really, I’d like to blame Viagra for this one. Them and their god damn claims that anyone could get those four hour erections. I took a fistful and of their cure-all pills, bought a subscription to Pl... | Initially, I had only the sincere hope that I could help someone. It started simply; I would freely give to any whom asked, expecting nothing in return, a hit of LSD or a shot of ketamine. It was my intent to awaken these people—mostly heroin addicts—to the intricacies of our reality. But the prolonged highs, which wer... | |
[WP] The self help group you started has turned into a cult. | Nervously I looked around the hall. At the hundreds of candles bathing the setting in an ominous dance of light and dark, at Simon, standing to my right, wearing one of the intricately ornamented golden robes he brought with him the last meeting. One for me, one for him. Down I looked at the new chair I was sitting on.... | Initially, I had only the sincere hope that I could help someone. It started simply; I would freely give to any whom asked, expecting nothing in return, a hit of LSD or a shot of ketamine. It was my intent to awaken these people—mostly heroin addicts—to the intricacies of our reality. But the prolonged highs, which wer... | |
[WP]You wake up one day and notice that you can see stats and levels over people's heads. Most are in the 20s with a few people as high as 80. As you're watching people you notice someone with a skull where their level should be staring at you. | I had noticed the man about half an hour ago - and he's onto me as well.
I never quite knew what the numbers meant, but I just assumed that they were ranks, by my gamer's instinct. I've seen most people hover at 20, with children commonly in the 10s and older, more experienced adults somewhere 30-40. It didn't seem t... | "So......it's to be you then...........fine, I awoke prepared for this day. The day I would meet the person who would either kill me, or be killed by me." "Let fly then, come let us escort one another into whatever is next" As my hand touches the grip of my .357 magnum, loaded for bear, a seering pain tears it's way ... | |
[WP]You wake up one day and notice that you can see stats and levels over people's heads. Most are in the 20s with a few people as high as 80. As you're watching people you notice someone with a skull where their level should be staring at you. | "Mommy, that man is looking at me really funny..."
The girl's mother turned and glared at me. "Hey! What's you're problem?"
Trying to think fast I sputtered "I'm... sorry, she.. uh... you're daughter reminds me of a cousin of mine that died in a car wreck when I was a kid. It's just... sorry I didn't mean to scare yo... | "So......it's to be you then...........fine, I awoke prepared for this day. The day I would meet the person who would either kill me, or be killed by me." "Let fly then, come let us escort one another into whatever is next" As my hand touches the grip of my .357 magnum, loaded for bear, a seering pain tears it's way ... | |
[WP]You wake up one day and notice that you can see stats and levels over people's heads. Most are in the 20s with a few people as high as 80. As you're watching people you notice someone with a skull where their level should be staring at you. | "Mommy, that man is looking at me really funny..."
The girl's mother turned and glared at me. "Hey! What's you're problem?"
Trying to think fast I sputtered "I'm... sorry, she.. uh... you're daughter reminds me of a cousin of mine that died in a car wreck when I was a kid. It's just... sorry I didn't mean to scare yo... | I tried to open my eyes, but I was unsuccessful. Then as if my slight struggle had activated something, I heard a slight whirring and clicking as if a computer was booting up near my head. A few seconds later my vision suddenly turned on. Instead of my bedroom I saw boot data followed by a login screen. From somewhere ... | |
[WP]You wake up one day and notice that you can see stats and levels over people's heads. Most are in the 20s with a few people as high as 80. As you're watching people you notice someone with a skull where their level should be staring at you. | "Mommy, that man is looking at me really funny..."
The girl's mother turned and glared at me. "Hey! What's you're problem?"
Trying to think fast I sputtered "I'm... sorry, she.. uh... you're daughter reminds me of a cousin of mine that died in a car wreck when I was a kid. It's just... sorry I didn't mean to scare yo... | It was after he came back from Afghanistan that he started seeing the numbers. When he first saw them, he tentatively told his psychiatrist, who merely told him it was possibly a side effect of PTSD and the trauma of losing an eye. Six months of meds, therapy sessions, abstaining from video games, and a brand new glas... | |
[WP]You wake up one day and notice that you can see stats and levels over people's heads. Most are in the 20s with a few people as high as 80. As you're watching people you notice someone with a skull where their level should be staring at you. | *Calm down... Deep breaths... Inhale... Exhale... Now focus, let's think. These are obviously levels, definitely like in video games. Based on those around me, the average is around 20, give or take. If people currently have levels, then perhaps they have attributes.*
*That would explain those with higher levels, perh... | It was after he came back from Afghanistan that he started seeing the numbers. When he first saw them, he tentatively told his psychiatrist, who merely told him it was possibly a side effect of PTSD and the trauma of losing an eye. Six months of meds, therapy sessions, abstaining from video games, and a brand new glas... | |
[WP]You wake up one day and notice that you can see stats and levels over people's heads. Most are in the 20s with a few people as high as 80. As you're watching people you notice someone with a skull where their level should be staring at you. | *Calm down... Deep breaths... Inhale... Exhale... Now focus, let's think. These are obviously levels, definitely like in video games. Based on those around me, the average is around 20, give or take. If people currently have levels, then perhaps they have attributes.*
*That would explain those with higher levels, perh... | I see when others are going to die. I see their count for above their heads. Then the man with the skull appears and takes them. He takes them in different ways. Sometimes he takes them in their sleep. Sometimes because I bus has gotten in their way. Some have been shot. It doesn't matter. I see them. I see hi... | |
[WP]You wake up one day and notice that you can see stats and levels over people's heads. Most are in the 20s with a few people as high as 80. As you're watching people you notice someone with a skull where their level should be staring at you. | Max had panicked on the first day, had experimented the next, and accepted on the third. The numbers told of a person's aptitude at life, overall. Young people averaged around 15-25, business people tended to ride the higher end of the curve at 50-80. Outliers were common enough; tech billionaires (he could see the num... | My day was going great today. The weather was nice, sky clear, and random adventurers didn't even try to pick my pockets or kill me. Varrock's streets were bustling with activity. I live near the Grand Exchange area, so there are always people running around in the streets. As I was going on my daily stroll, I noticed ... | |
[WP]You wake up one day and notice that you can see stats and levels over people's heads. Most are in the 20s with a few people as high as 80. As you're watching people you notice someone with a skull where their level should be staring at you. | *Calm down... Deep breaths... Inhale... Exhale... Now focus, let's think. These are obviously levels, definitely like in video games. Based on those around me, the average is around 20, give or take. If people currently have levels, then perhaps they have attributes.*
*That would explain those with higher levels, perh... | My day was going great today. The weather was nice, sky clear, and random adventurers didn't even try to pick my pockets or kill me. Varrock's streets were bustling with activity. I live near the Grand Exchange area, so there are always people running around in the streets. As I was going on my daily stroll, I noticed ... | |
[WP]You wake up one day and notice that you can see stats and levels over people's heads. Most are in the 20s with a few people as high as 80. As you're watching people you notice someone with a skull where their level should be staring at you. | *Calm down... Deep breaths... Inhale... Exhale... Now focus, let's think. These are obviously levels, definitely like in video games. Based on those around me, the average is around 20, give or take. If people currently have levels, then perhaps they have attributes.*
*That would explain those with higher levels, perh... | Max had panicked on the first day, had experimented the next, and accepted on the third. The numbers told of a person's aptitude at life, overall. Young people averaged around 15-25, business people tended to ride the higher end of the curve at 50-80. Outliers were common enough; tech billionaires (he could see the num... | |
[WP]You wake up one day and notice that you can see stats and levels over people's heads. Most are in the 20s with a few people as high as 80. As you're watching people you notice someone with a skull where their level should be staring at you. | She stared, for a moment, and blinked her eyes.
She thought she had gotten used to this strange, game-like phenomenon. She hadn’t even questioned it. This was just God’s sense of humor, right? She was being given the opportunity to see the experience of the people around her. Most of the adults hovered in their late t... | I swear, i thought i was still dreaming. It wasn't an idea totally out of the question, since id been experimenting with lucidity.
See, i watch sports highlights before work in the morning, and i couldn't wrap my head around all the numbers hovering all above the football players' heads, thinking it was a new tv track... | |
[WP]You wake up one day and notice that you can see stats and levels over people's heads. Most are in the 20s with a few people as high as 80. As you're watching people you notice someone with a skull where their level should be staring at you. | I had no idea what the numbers meant. I blinked and rubbed my eyes, but they wouldn't go away. A lot of younger kids, even some teenagers, had numbers in the 20s. A few middle aged people walked by, with almost all of their numbers around 40 or 50. I saw a homeless man huddled next to a trash can with 80 above his head... | I swear, i thought i was still dreaming. It wasn't an idea totally out of the question, since id been experimenting with lucidity.
See, i watch sports highlights before work in the morning, and i couldn't wrap my head around all the numbers hovering all above the football players' heads, thinking it was a new tv track... | |
[WP] Your birth name is only kept until your 18th birthday. Your true name is assigned according to your personality and how you've lead your life so far. You're expecting a typical name and think you've been a good person. However, after opening your envelope, you are horrified by what is inside. | Dear Mr. Schumacher
We have received your letter of complaint regarding your assigned name. We receive thousands of such complaints each year, and we typically respond with a simple form letter stating that all decisions are final. Your case, however, is of special interest to the department, and thus we felt you dese... | The candles on top of the cake had burned themselves out, leaving 18 little puddles behind. The guests had left several hours ago, avoiding eye contact with all of us. I could hear sobs coming from the guest bathroom, where my mother had locked herself. My father was sitting on the back porch with a bottle of vodka. I ... | |
[WP] Your birth name is only kept until your 18th birthday. Your true name is assigned according to your personality and how you've lead your life so far. You're expecting a typical name and think you've been a good person. However, after opening your envelope, you are horrified by what is inside. | "You have got to be fucking kidding me. What the fucking shitsticks is this fucking crap?"
"You know, if you stop cussing like a sailor, maybe you're have a better name." My sister smirked at me. I gave her the finger and continued to scowl at my new name.
*Guy Fuckboi-McRudeman Jr.* | The candles on top of the cake had burned themselves out, leaving 18 little puddles behind. The guests had left several hours ago, avoiding eye contact with all of us. I could hear sobs coming from the guest bathroom, where my mother had locked herself. My father was sitting on the back porch with a bottle of vodka. I ... | |
[WP] Your birth name is only kept until your 18th birthday. Your true name is assigned according to your personality and how you've lead your life so far. You're expecting a typical name and think you've been a good person. However, after opening your envelope, you are horrified by what is inside. | It can't be true. Something has to be wrong. The Naming Bureau, they must have made a mistake. Yeah, it's all a mistake. Just some big mix-up, that's all.
I stand in the parlor, looking up at the big family photo. It's years old now, taken a few years after my younger sister was born, but it's the only picture with al... | The candles on top of the cake had burned themselves out, leaving 18 little puddles behind. The guests had left several hours ago, avoiding eye contact with all of us. I could hear sobs coming from the guest bathroom, where my mother had locked herself. My father was sitting on the back porch with a bottle of vodka. I ... | |
[WP] Your birth name is only kept until your 18th birthday. Your true name is assigned according to your personality and how you've lead your life so far. You're expecting a typical name and think you've been a good person. However, after opening your envelope, you are horrified by what is inside. | Dear Mr. Schumacher
We have received your letter of complaint regarding your assigned name. We receive thousands of such complaints each year, and we typically respond with a simple form letter stating that all decisions are final. Your case, however, is of special interest to the department, and thus we felt you dese... | According to basically all of the online quizzes, my name should either have been: Stephen, Alexander, Oliver, William or Robert. Good, strong, respectable names. Names you could use in a professional setting, but could also shorten when chatting with your mates down the pub.
But not this.
The three last people to ha... | |
[WP] Your birth name is only kept until your 18th birthday. Your true name is assigned according to your personality and how you've lead your life so far. You're expecting a typical name and think you've been a good person. However, after opening your envelope, you are horrified by what is inside. | It can't be true. Something has to be wrong. The Naming Bureau, they must have made a mistake. Yeah, it's all a mistake. Just some big mix-up, that's all.
I stand in the parlor, looking up at the big family photo. It's years old now, taken a few years after my younger sister was born, but it's the only picture with al... | "You have got to be fucking kidding me. What the fucking shitsticks is this fucking crap?"
"You know, if you stop cussing like a sailor, maybe you're have a better name." My sister smirked at me. I gave her the finger and continued to scowl at my new name.
*Guy Fuckboi-McRudeman Jr.* | |
[WP] Your birth name is only kept until your 18th birthday. Your true name is assigned according to your personality and how you've lead your life so far. You're expecting a typical name and think you've been a good person. However, after opening your envelope, you are horrified by what is inside. | It can't be true. Something has to be wrong. The Naming Bureau, they must have made a mistake. Yeah, it's all a mistake. Just some big mix-up, that's all.
I stand in the parlor, looking up at the big family photo. It's years old now, taken a few years after my younger sister was born, but it's the only picture with al... | Dear PenPal,
I was the *first*. Trust me. I called the **Department of National Naming**. I can promise, I was the most surprised when my envelope arrived. Even now, almost two weeks into my *18th year*, I am genuinely shocked. The kind of shock that makes you question the very fundamentals which you have built yourse... | |
[WP] Ever since you were 12, you would roll a dice to help you make decisions. Even numbers = Yes, Odds = No. Today, for the first time in 6 years, both dices land on their edges. | Some people have said that I'm slightly autistic. I was slow in school and didn't quite understand the social complexities of life, but I mainly just disliked people. They made me anxious and since I was picked on at a young age, distrustful. Perhaps I was slightly off, but that's anther matter entirely. What I'm here ... | I've always been burdened with decision making, I never really know what to do.
I used dice to figure out what path to take.
Evens would mean yes and Odds would mean no I kept telling myself.
I tried it for trivial decisions and it seemed to work, slowly it became a habit. I would roll the dice just to make sure wh... | |
[WP] Whenever you're in danger, your body automatically slows time to allow you to react to it better, the slower the time the greater the danger. Three days ago everything went still and you still have no idea what danger you're in. | "What the hell?" Thomas stared at the clock in his office. The second hand had completely stopped. He glared for what he guessed was a minute. The hand did not tick or tock.
Panicking, he reached for the hourglass on his desk. To his clients it was a sophisticated paper weight, but to him it was a measurement of his ... | Life has been a cliffhanger for a few days, preparing for my next challenge.
Time is on my side in these moments, I have so much time to plan this.
But it seems like danger is distant, yet it could hit in an instant.
For instance, I was just walking in slow motion and all of a sudden I fell off a cliff.
| |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | Sure I suppose this job is the opportunity to overcome my employment virginity that my family never fails to shame me over. I genuinely would really like to be employed and the lot, but I honestly couldn't work here, no, never. The walls are pasty, the ceiling fans are creaking, "only dumb nuts get into insurance anywa... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | "You know, casual friday is not something we take lightly around here." As he stands from his comfortable leather chair, "it might seem odd to you, but the fact that you did your homework and came in with a spongebob bottom, batman top and loafers... Tells me you've prepared for this battle. Even though your feet are r... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | Without a knock, I entered
a little office space.
Although a shock, she met me
with no sign of ill grace.
A hand outstretched, I slapped it
her eyes lit up with joy.
"Such arrogance is what we seek
in those that we employ!" | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | The bench wasn't comfortable.
It was cheep plastic with steel frame, the kind that just don't let sit and relax.
The secretary called my name and as I stood up I realized my pants and shirt where probably one size too big for me, I felt uncomfortable.
As I walk towards the door, every piece of me just ache to be ba... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | I walked into his office, he had a notepad out, "Oh hello, you must be Gareth, come in, sit down." The Mustached boss said as I walked through the door.
He s... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | Jon was having a rough morning. First, he'd angrily smashed his antique alarm clock during the latest rendition of Pop Star Cammy's hit single, "Banal Teenage Techno-Pop Vol. 1a, Remix Special" - a song he utterly despised - when the clock awoke him at 6:00 A.M.
Then, he'd taken a hard fall out of bed, when the lopsid... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | "Hi, thanks for coming. You're our next candidate for reincarnation. We're very excited about sending you back, same make and model, just a second pass through."
"No, I'm pretty sure I fucked it up last time."
"Nah! I gotta good feeling about you. You'll do just fine this time around."
"How could I do just fine this... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | [Contains Mild Vulgarity]
"Well Mr. Jones, I can see you're applying for our senior member position. I take it you've got the required ten years experience or some equivalent not listed on your resume?"
"Huh? No, uh, I actually just typed a hello world script once, no real world experience."
"Wonderful! Our HR sta... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | I spiraled into a deep depression when Susan left me; one where I could no longer get out of bed to show up to work. Shortly after being fired from my job, I lost my house, and moved in with my well-off brother and his wife. They didn't have any children, so at first, they didn't mind taking me in and feeding me. After... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | "I'm also a drug user. Copious amounts!" I can hear my own disbelief.
The interviewer shrugs. "You're in your prime, Mr. Johnson. Not many men can run the football quite as well as you."
"I have an arrest record."
"Yes, and a rushing record. That's why you're here."
"Wh...what? I'm saying I have a real problem, ma... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | This happened to me in real life. I was unemployed, and going to school. (I got to collect unemployment because I was working full time while going to school, and got laid off). I didn't want to go back to work. Unemployment office sends me a job, that I'm qualified for. Go to interview in dirty clothes, no shave, etc.... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | I stared over my monitor at the newest recruit, probably for longer than absolutely necessary. I hid my sweating palms and my shaking hands behind my desk. It had gone on so long...
"Look. You have all the qualifications we're looking for. All I need is your signature, and you'll be set. But... how about we grab a cof... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | “So, why do you think you deserve to work for us?” The interviewer asked me.
“I don’t,” I replied with cruel honesty.
The bald man, in his forties, laughed at me. I showed him a muffled expression.
“You seem like a jokester! Exactly the kind of a person we aim for!”
“I don’t want this job, you know…” Again, I need ... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | Sixteen-year-old Theodore Cruz slouched in the cheap plastic booth, sucking the last dregs of his soda with obnoxious zeal and using a ketchup packet to paint a frowny-face on the table. In preparation for this interview, he’d donned his “Sperm Donor” T-shirt and smeared a tablespoon of lard into his hair. The look h... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | The water bottle was obviously full of something other than water. I took small sips in the waiting room, the smell of vodka stinging my eyes even with the orange juice to water it down.
I had somewhere to be and it wasn’t in a job interview.
“It’s good practice,” my wife had encouraged. “You just need to get back ... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | I let out a hefty burp as the barman took away my last pint. My seventh pint. Now, now I was ready. I didn't so much as hop off my stool, as fall off my stool, but I regained my balance, nodded again at the bemused barman, and made my dragging tracks out of the pub.
3:06pm. I was already six minutes late. Fantastic! A... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | Silence resounded from every corner of the room. Such a quiet place to work, Sam thought. Though he may need to suffer through this interview, Sam took comfort in the knowledge that he would need not endure such silence every day.
The room itself was plain enough. No larger than Sam’s own bedroom, the walls were bare... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | An ordinary man would not stand a chance. The lone farmer tilling his land, baking under the twin suns of the Kingdom of Ankharra, had his head down. His gaze was fixed upon the soil, his mind focused upon the task. His farm dog was busy chasing butterflies, too distracted to scent the hostile magic boiling in the clea... | I walked in the door and sat down without shaking his extended hand. Didn't even show up until thirty minutes late with my hair ruffled and slouching in my chair before this suit&tie big boy. His response?
We need you.
Um.excuse me? You want to know my name first? I don't even remember who the lady said your na... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | Sure I suppose this job is the opportunity to overcome my employment virginity that my family never fails to shame me over. I genuinely would really like to be employed and the lot, but I honestly couldn't work here, no, never. The walls are pasty, the ceiling fans are creaking, "only dumb nuts get into insurance anywa... | I could hear the florencent lights hum as I stared down at the offer sheet, the crisp white paper and bold dark print. The reward offered for this job was more than I made the entire time I was alive but yet I knew I shouldn’t take it, couldn’t take it.
“Are you not happy with the terms Jimmy? We can still do a littl... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | "You know, casual friday is not something we take lightly around here." As he stands from his comfortable leather chair, "it might seem odd to you, but the fact that you did your homework and came in with a spongebob bottom, batman top and loafers... Tells me you've prepared for this battle. Even though your feet are r... | I could hear the florencent lights hum as I stared down at the offer sheet, the crisp white paper and bold dark print. The reward offered for this job was more than I made the entire time I was alive but yet I knew I shouldn’t take it, couldn’t take it.
“Are you not happy with the terms Jimmy? We can still do a littl... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | Without a knock, I entered
a little office space.
Although a shock, she met me
with no sign of ill grace.
A hand outstretched, I slapped it
her eyes lit up with joy.
"Such arrogance is what we seek
in those that we employ!" | I could hear the florencent lights hum as I stared down at the offer sheet, the crisp white paper and bold dark print. The reward offered for this job was more than I made the entire time I was alive but yet I knew I shouldn’t take it, couldn’t take it.
“Are you not happy with the terms Jimmy? We can still do a littl... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | The bench wasn't comfortable.
It was cheep plastic with steel frame, the kind that just don't let sit and relax.
The secretary called my name and as I stood up I realized my pants and shirt where probably one size too big for me, I felt uncomfortable.
As I walk towards the door, every piece of me just ache to be ba... | I could hear the florencent lights hum as I stared down at the offer sheet, the crisp white paper and bold dark print. The reward offered for this job was more than I made the entire time I was alive but yet I knew I shouldn’t take it, couldn’t take it.
“Are you not happy with the terms Jimmy? We can still do a littl... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | I walked into his office, he had a notepad out, "Oh hello, you must be Gareth, come in, sit down." The Mustached boss said as I walked through the door.
He s... | I could hear the florencent lights hum as I stared down at the offer sheet, the crisp white paper and bold dark print. The reward offered for this job was more than I made the entire time I was alive but yet I knew I shouldn’t take it, couldn’t take it.
“Are you not happy with the terms Jimmy? We can still do a littl... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | "Hi, thanks for coming. You're our next candidate for reincarnation. We're very excited about sending you back, same make and model, just a second pass through."
"No, I'm pretty sure I fucked it up last time."
"Nah! I gotta good feeling about you. You'll do just fine this time around."
"How could I do just fine this... | I could hear the florencent lights hum as I stared down at the offer sheet, the crisp white paper and bold dark print. The reward offered for this job was more than I made the entire time I was alive but yet I knew I shouldn’t take it, couldn’t take it.
“Are you not happy with the terms Jimmy? We can still do a littl... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | [Contains Mild Vulgarity]
"Well Mr. Jones, I can see you're applying for our senior member position. I take it you've got the required ten years experience or some equivalent not listed on your resume?"
"Huh? No, uh, I actually just typed a hello world script once, no real world experience."
"Wonderful! Our HR sta... | I could hear the florencent lights hum as I stared down at the offer sheet, the crisp white paper and bold dark print. The reward offered for this job was more than I made the entire time I was alive but yet I knew I shouldn’t take it, couldn’t take it.
“Are you not happy with the terms Jimmy? We can still do a littl... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | I spiraled into a deep depression when Susan left me; one where I could no longer get out of bed to show up to work. Shortly after being fired from my job, I lost my house, and moved in with my well-off brother and his wife. They didn't have any children, so at first, they didn't mind taking me in and feeding me. After... | I could hear the florencent lights hum as I stared down at the offer sheet, the crisp white paper and bold dark print. The reward offered for this job was more than I made the entire time I was alive but yet I knew I shouldn’t take it, couldn’t take it.
“Are you not happy with the terms Jimmy? We can still do a littl... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | "I'm also a drug user. Copious amounts!" I can hear my own disbelief.
The interviewer shrugs. "You're in your prime, Mr. Johnson. Not many men can run the football quite as well as you."
"I have an arrest record."
"Yes, and a rushing record. That's why you're here."
"Wh...what? I'm saying I have a real problem, ma... | I could hear the florencent lights hum as I stared down at the offer sheet, the crisp white paper and bold dark print. The reward offered for this job was more than I made the entire time I was alive but yet I knew I shouldn’t take it, couldn’t take it.
“Are you not happy with the terms Jimmy? We can still do a littl... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | This happened to me in real life. I was unemployed, and going to school. (I got to collect unemployment because I was working full time while going to school, and got laid off). I didn't want to go back to work. Unemployment office sends me a job, that I'm qualified for. Go to interview in dirty clothes, no shave, etc.... | I could hear the florencent lights hum as I stared down at the offer sheet, the crisp white paper and bold dark print. The reward offered for this job was more than I made the entire time I was alive but yet I knew I shouldn’t take it, couldn’t take it.
“Are you not happy with the terms Jimmy? We can still do a littl... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | I stared over my monitor at the newest recruit, probably for longer than absolutely necessary. I hid my sweating palms and my shaking hands behind my desk. It had gone on so long...
"Look. You have all the qualifications we're looking for. All I need is your signature, and you'll be set. But... how about we grab a cof... | I could hear the florencent lights hum as I stared down at the offer sheet, the crisp white paper and bold dark print. The reward offered for this job was more than I made the entire time I was alive but yet I knew I shouldn’t take it, couldn’t take it.
“Are you not happy with the terms Jimmy? We can still do a littl... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | Sixteen-year-old Theodore Cruz slouched in the cheap plastic booth, sucking the last dregs of his soda with obnoxious zeal and using a ketchup packet to paint a frowny-face on the table. In preparation for this interview, he’d donned his “Sperm Donor” T-shirt and smeared a tablespoon of lard into his hair. The look h... | I could hear the florencent lights hum as I stared down at the offer sheet, the crisp white paper and bold dark print. The reward offered for this job was more than I made the entire time I was alive but yet I knew I shouldn’t take it, couldn’t take it.
“Are you not happy with the terms Jimmy? We can still do a littl... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | The water bottle was obviously full of something other than water. I took small sips in the waiting room, the smell of vodka stinging my eyes even with the orange juice to water it down.
I had somewhere to be and it wasn’t in a job interview.
“It’s good practice,” my wife had encouraged. “You just need to get back ... | I could hear the florencent lights hum as I stared down at the offer sheet, the crisp white paper and bold dark print. The reward offered for this job was more than I made the entire time I was alive but yet I knew I shouldn’t take it, couldn’t take it.
“Are you not happy with the terms Jimmy? We can still do a littl... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | Without a knock, I entered
a little office space.
Although a shock, she met me
with no sign of ill grace.
A hand outstretched, I slapped it
her eyes lit up with joy.
"Such arrogance is what we seek
in those that we employ!" | I looked up at the tall glass tower glinting in the sunlight, a trickle of malcontent running down my spine and into my stomach. Capital Corp spelled out in stainless steel cutouts over the 2 story tall glass and tile entrance looked down at me. I could feel their disdain drifting over me like a cloud of CO2, invi... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | [Contains Mild Vulgarity]
"Well Mr. Jones, I can see you're applying for our senior member position. I take it you've got the required ten years experience or some equivalent not listed on your resume?"
"Huh? No, uh, I actually just typed a hello world script once, no real world experience."
"Wonderful! Our HR sta... | I looked up at the tall glass tower glinting in the sunlight, a trickle of malcontent running down my spine and into my stomach. Capital Corp spelled out in stainless steel cutouts over the 2 story tall glass and tile entrance looked down at me. I could feel their disdain drifting over me like a cloud of CO2, invi... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | I stared over my monitor at the newest recruit, probably for longer than absolutely necessary. I hid my sweating palms and my shaking hands behind my desk. It had gone on so long...
"Look. You have all the qualifications we're looking for. All I need is your signature, and you'll be set. But... how about we grab a cof... | I looked up at the tall glass tower glinting in the sunlight, a trickle of malcontent running down my spine and into my stomach. Capital Corp spelled out in stainless steel cutouts over the 2 story tall glass and tile entrance looked down at me. I could feel their disdain drifting over me like a cloud of CO2, invi... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | Without a knock, I entered
a little office space.
Although a shock, she met me
with no sign of ill grace.
A hand outstretched, I slapped it
her eyes lit up with joy.
"Such arrogance is what we seek
in those that we employ!" | Sure I suppose this job is the opportunity to overcome my employment virginity that my family never fails to shame me over. I genuinely would really like to be employed and the lot, but I honestly couldn't work here, no, never. The walls are pasty, the ceiling fans are creaking, "only dumb nuts get into insurance anywa... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | I walked into his office, he had a notepad out, "Oh hello, you must be Gareth, come in, sit down." The Mustached boss said as I walked through the door.
He s... | Sure I suppose this job is the opportunity to overcome my employment virginity that my family never fails to shame me over. I genuinely would really like to be employed and the lot, but I honestly couldn't work here, no, never. The walls are pasty, the ceiling fans are creaking, "only dumb nuts get into insurance anywa... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | [Contains Mild Vulgarity]
"Well Mr. Jones, I can see you're applying for our senior member position. I take it you've got the required ten years experience or some equivalent not listed on your resume?"
"Huh? No, uh, I actually just typed a hello world script once, no real world experience."
"Wonderful! Our HR sta... | Sure I suppose this job is the opportunity to overcome my employment virginity that my family never fails to shame me over. I genuinely would really like to be employed and the lot, but I honestly couldn't work here, no, never. The walls are pasty, the ceiling fans are creaking, "only dumb nuts get into insurance anywa... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | I spiraled into a deep depression when Susan left me; one where I could no longer get out of bed to show up to work. Shortly after being fired from my job, I lost my house, and moved in with my well-off brother and his wife. They didn't have any children, so at first, they didn't mind taking me in and feeding me. After... | Sure I suppose this job is the opportunity to overcome my employment virginity that my family never fails to shame me over. I genuinely would really like to be employed and the lot, but I honestly couldn't work here, no, never. The walls are pasty, the ceiling fans are creaking, "only dumb nuts get into insurance anywa... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | "I'm also a drug user. Copious amounts!" I can hear my own disbelief.
The interviewer shrugs. "You're in your prime, Mr. Johnson. Not many men can run the football quite as well as you."
"I have an arrest record."
"Yes, and a rushing record. That's why you're here."
"Wh...what? I'm saying I have a real problem, ma... | Sure I suppose this job is the opportunity to overcome my employment virginity that my family never fails to shame me over. I genuinely would really like to be employed and the lot, but I honestly couldn't work here, no, never. The walls are pasty, the ceiling fans are creaking, "only dumb nuts get into insurance anywa... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | I stared over my monitor at the newest recruit, probably for longer than absolutely necessary. I hid my sweating palms and my shaking hands behind my desk. It had gone on so long...
"Look. You have all the qualifications we're looking for. All I need is your signature, and you'll be set. But... how about we grab a cof... | Sure I suppose this job is the opportunity to overcome my employment virginity that my family never fails to shame me over. I genuinely would really like to be employed and the lot, but I honestly couldn't work here, no, never. The walls are pasty, the ceiling fans are creaking, "only dumb nuts get into insurance anywa... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | The water bottle was obviously full of something other than water. I took small sips in the waiting room, the smell of vodka stinging my eyes even with the orange juice to water it down.
I had somewhere to be and it wasn’t in a job interview.
“It’s good practice,” my wife had encouraged. “You just need to get back ... | Sure I suppose this job is the opportunity to overcome my employment virginity that my family never fails to shame me over. I genuinely would really like to be employed and the lot, but I honestly couldn't work here, no, never. The walls are pasty, the ceiling fans are creaking, "only dumb nuts get into insurance anywa... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | Without a knock, I entered
a little office space.
Although a shock, she met me
with no sign of ill grace.
A hand outstretched, I slapped it
her eyes lit up with joy.
"Such arrogance is what we seek
in those that we employ!" | "You know, casual friday is not something we take lightly around here." As he stands from his comfortable leather chair, "it might seem odd to you, but the fact that you did your homework and came in with a spongebob bottom, batman top and loafers... Tells me you've prepared for this battle. Even though your feet are r... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | [Contains Mild Vulgarity]
"Well Mr. Jones, I can see you're applying for our senior member position. I take it you've got the required ten years experience or some equivalent not listed on your resume?"
"Huh? No, uh, I actually just typed a hello world script once, no real world experience."
"Wonderful! Our HR sta... | "You know, casual friday is not something we take lightly around here." As he stands from his comfortable leather chair, "it might seem odd to you, but the fact that you did your homework and came in with a spongebob bottom, batman top and loafers... Tells me you've prepared for this battle. Even though your feet are r... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | I stared over my monitor at the newest recruit, probably for longer than absolutely necessary. I hid my sweating palms and my shaking hands behind my desk. It had gone on so long...
"Look. You have all the qualifications we're looking for. All I need is your signature, and you'll be set. But... how about we grab a cof... | "You know, casual friday is not something we take lightly around here." As he stands from his comfortable leather chair, "it might seem odd to you, but the fact that you did your homework and came in with a spongebob bottom, batman top and loafers... Tells me you've prepared for this battle. Even though your feet are r... | |
[WP] You were forced to attend an interview for a job you do not want, but, no matter how hard you try to screw up the interview, the interviewer just becomes more keen to hire you. | [Contains Mild Vulgarity]
"Well Mr. Jones, I can see you're applying for our senior member position. I take it you've got the required ten years experience or some equivalent not listed on your resume?"
"Huh? No, uh, I actually just typed a hello world script once, no real world experience."
"Wonderful! Our HR sta... | Without a knock, I entered
a little office space.
Although a shock, she met me
with no sign of ill grace.
A hand outstretched, I slapped it
her eyes lit up with joy.
"Such arrogance is what we seek
in those that we employ!" |
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